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justwonder113 · 2 months ago

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Drunk confession with Felix

fist part here (can be read as a standalone)

Warnings: Cursing as always. CHAOS! Reader is gender neutral. Reader and felix are described as opposites. Reader is a bit anxious and more of an introverted person and feels like an outsider for a moment. I can't think of any more warnings so if I missed anything please tell me. word count-2.2k A/N- I'M ALIVE!!! Sorry this took me ages to write but I hope you'll enjoy reading. Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated.

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What does “your person” mean? Or better yet who is it?"You are my person" is a phrase that is commonly used to express a close and special bond between two people. It signifies that the speaker considers the person they are speaking to as their closest confidant, friend, or support system. - Well this is what will come up when you search it up.

So, who is your person? You always wondered who that special someone would be, or if you would even find one. Sometimes you felt so lonely even the idea seemed impossible, unreachable for you. But that was when you were at your lowest, feeling like you couldn’t achieve anything. But looking at your life now you could freely say without even an ounce of doubt that you had found that person. He came into your life like an angel when you were at your lowest and needed someone to hold you close so you wouldn’t fall apart. That day in the library was start of the most beautiful chapter in your life. He was with you every step of the way; he helped you in every way possible. There was no way you could ever repay him for all he had given you, but you would sure as hell die trying. Even now watching him show off some of the new moves he picked up from TikTok to Hyunjin, the biggest and brightest smile adorning his face... Did he even realize how much joy and happiness he brought in your life?!

God how were you even supposed to not fall head over heels in love with him? Even now you were surrounded by all these people, some of them your friends and yet your eyes were only on him, you only really saw him. Cupid really was cruel sometimes. Never would you have imagined that you would fall in love and never in million years would you imagine that said person would be the person who only really only saw you as friend. But you didn’t mind, not really. If having him in your life meant suppressing your feelings you didn’t have any problem ignoring what you felt.

God what were you even doing. You were supposed to be having fun and relaxing. Felix brought you here so that you could unwind and finally relax a little. He must have noticed how overworked and stressed you were getting. And he was right. Hanging out with your friends really made you feel a whole lot better but now as the time progressed you felt your social energy draining and now you were just standing here next to a bar like some sort of awkward kid watching everyone from afar. You felt like you were sticking out like a sore thumb. Like you were apart from all this. Oh how you hated whenever you felt like this. You knew your friends genuinely loved you and enjoyed your presence and now too wanted you to be there but still you felt like you didn’t belong here. You felt like an outcast, an alien watching others chat with each other and just enjoy their time. It was such a peculiar experience it was always like the reality shifted like you were a spectator watching a live picture. Just a person watching things from afar wondering what it feels to be them.

Contrary to your earlier statement you didn’t really notice Felix stop to dance and instead approach you. You only came back to reality when your eyes met his sparkly ones. Honestly it was beyond you how his eyes always shone so bright they could rival all the stars in the universe. You weren’t even biased when you said that, it wasn’t oh I am so whipped talk. You were genuinely amazed every time. Just him overall. He never seemed to not amaze you. Before you started being friends you thought this bright persona was just a facade, but as you got to know him you were basically convinced he was a literal personification of a sun. Watching him you understood more and more why so many cultures worshipped the sun. He gave life whole another meaning for you. You felt so much joy and warmth whenever you were with him. You didn’t know how to explain it, nor you thought that the day would come where you would feel so many foreign emotions but here you were. Talking like all the sappy authors that seemed so ridiculous earlier.

“Let’s dance!” Felix voice boomed over the loud music. Your heart literally jumped in joy at the mere idea of dancing with him, but something held you back. That being mostly your nonexistnet dancing skills.. The key word being mostly. You were also really shy and awkward as hell. Anddespite knowing that Felix would never judge you, especially for something as silly as your dancing skills you still couldn’t help but get self concious.

“I can’t really dance though...” You finally admitted after a second of silence.

“Nonesense!” Felix looked at you for a second and upon seeing your hesitation he continued to talk. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves okay?” You wanted to refuse, afraid of embarrasing yourself and being in the center of attention like that. But when you looked into Felix's eyes. Shining oh so brightly, looking ar you with all the warmth in the world... How could you refuse him.

Timidly but still you nodded your head and that was all Felix needed from you. He took your hand and started leading you into the crowd. His hand so warm and gentle, polar opposite of your cold tense hands. You sometimes wondered how did you manage to get this close when you were so different from each other.

Felix must have noticed your hesitation. “Hey just relax okay? It’s just you and me.” Felix’s words despite being a little slurred from all the shots he took earlier covered you like a warm blanket and instantly made you feel more at ease.

“Just follow my lead.” You heard Felix say as he took your other hand in his. And with that he started gently pushing and pulling your intervened hands between you two to the rhythm of the music. At first your movements were awkward and you were concious that you must have looked ridiculous from the side. But as the music picked up the rythm and Felix became a little bolder and bolder you comepletely forgot about everything that was holding you back earlier.

Picking up on how at ease you were Felix desided to get a little more bold. Letting go of one of your hand he quickly moved the other so that he could spin you. Not really expecting it you couldn’t help but giggle as you returned into his hands. God your head was spinning from all of this but in the best way. You felt on top of the world. You felt so free and happy. It felt like your heart was also dancing with joy as you beamed at Felix also mirrored your joyful expression, so happy that you were enjoying yourself.

It sounded so cliche but you really felt like it was only you two in the whole damn club. You could even barely comprehend the music playing on the background. The same music that seemed too loud and headache inducing earlier. But you loved it. God you really loved it so much. Maybe it was alcholol getting to you or the adrenaline but you felt like you were floating in the clouds, feeling lightest and most free you have ever felt.

You didn’t even realize when his hand got on your waist or when did you two get so close at each other but now as you gazed into each other's eyes everything esle long forgotten, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Not that you were complaining about it. Not when you could feel him so close to you. So warm, so gentle, so safe. It was messing with your head in all the best ways! God you coud even smell his cologne – warm, clean and something sweet, something Felix, it was so unfairly distracting. God only if you could freeze the time and stay like this forever, with him by your side, looking at you like you hung the stars yourself, not that your gaze would be any more different. You would relive this moment millions of times if you could.

“God you’re so pretty.” Felix leaned in closer and hugged you. “I love you so much.”

Were you dreaming? Were you actually having hallucinations?

“What?”

As if realizing what he did wrong Felix quickly backed down. His face fully flushed. “I said you’re stupid. I love you!”

What the fuck? You didn’t drink that much did you?

“What?”

Felix quickly shook his head. ”I mean I am stupid! I love you?”

Okay what the fuck was actually going on?

“Felix...”

“I meant you are pretty you can forget everything else.” He nodded at himself. “ Yes forget everything. I will go drink an entire bottle of tequilla my god.”

You quickly stopped him before he could walk away.

“Felix are you kidding me? How can I forget something like this?”

Unable to hold your gaze, he covered his face with his hands. Even his ears were so red they must have been hot to the touch. God what type of situation did you pull yourself into. You got to get at the end of it. Your poor heart could take only so much! Did he mean it? Or was he just drunk? God you didn’t even know if you were ready to hear the truth. What the actual fuck was up with that? Would he even remember it when he woke up in the morning? Forget everything you said about loving this moment and wanting to relive it over and over again, because now you just felt how your sanity was slipping away from you.

But what if he meant it?

Yeah there was no chance of that. It was Felix. He must have meant it in a platonic way. He must have just gotten flustered because you couldn’t hide your hopefulness? God you didn’t even make sense to yourself. You were about to have an anxiety attack.

You were brought back to reality... Well somewhat when Felix took your hand in his, his thumbs gently caressing your skin, either to soothe you or himself you couldn't really tell. His gaze unereadable.

“I’m sorry, I’m really stupid.” He sounded so weak. Your heart clenched watching him get like that.

You took a deep breaht. Here went nothing, “That you are, but guess what?”

Felix looked up, his eyes glistening like he also felt crying himself.

God you really were about to do it.

Summoning all the courage you could muster you gently held his face and gave him the quickest kiss ever. It was over before you even fellt it or better yet realized you’ve actually done it.

“I love you too.”

Felix looked at you baffled for a second or two. And it was enough to send you spiraling again. Did you misread everything? Should you have not kissed him? Did he hate it? Were you about to lose him as your friend? Did you mess everything up?

A sound of a slap quickly brought you back to reality. You looked baffled at Felix who removed his hand from his cheek. Again what the actuall fuck?

“I’m not dreaming, am I?”

“Honestly I cannot even tell anymore, probabbly not.” God you wanted to die.

“Do you mean it? Do you really love me?” You looked at Felix. Determination clear on his face but for what? God at times like this you really wished you had an ability to read minds.You were actually suffering over here.

“I do.”

Felix’s lips were on yours before you could even fully grasp what was happening. His hands quickly found their place on your hips to keep you close.

You were stuck yet another time here, wondering if you were dreaming or not.

But his kiss felt so real. His lips so soft. So warm...

If this was a dream then life was really the cruelest.

If this was a dream, then you didn’t want to wake up.

“I love you so much!” Felix started, then called your name in the most gentle voice making shivers run down your spine. “I’ve loved you since forever!” He leaned in and gave you another peck that had you chasing after his lips. God you could feel yourself getting addicted to his kisses.

“Will you be mine?” He asked, his lips hovering over yours.

“Silly boy... I’ve been yours since forever.”

Giving you the brightest smile ever Felix leaned in and sealed your lips together yet again.

God you were so glad you found him and had him in your life. He really was your person even though he sometimes made you go gray.

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated^^

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght @notastraykid @annie-boleyn @pixie-felix

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shoverse · 2 years ago

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-> random bf texts; lee felix !

🍥 pairing; lee felix! x gn! reader

🍥 genre; fluff, smau

🍥 cw; swearing, possessed chan joke 😦😦 that's it i think??

🍥 a/n; i'm literally flopping idk what's happening to me...just shoverse things ig anyway sorry it's rushed i had problems🧍🧍💔💔 likes n rbs are appreciated i'll try to make them better next time remember to take ur delulu pills guys!!

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defectivevillain · 1 year ago

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turning pages (for people who don't care)

pairing: Felix Catton/Reader

summary: Felix Catton is well-liked by practically everyone he meets, from teachers to peers and strangers. He catches the gazes of anyone as he enters a space; he’s often the thrumming energy that determines exactly how a night will go. Felix’s name lives everywhere, from the pulsing rhythm of rowdy parties to the quiet whispers across the school courtyard. Anyone who’s anyone knows Felix Catton. As an unassuming student at Oxford with no particular desire for wealth, luxurious parties, or hesitant smiles from across a dimly-lit pub, you’re not sure how to feel about that. However, you soon find your quiet student life thrown into a whirlwind of activity when you have to tutor Felix.

The reader’s pronouns are unspecified, but they are written to wear masculine clothing. (I'm of the opinion that anyone can rock a dress shirt & slacks, but whatever). Otherwise, no physical descriptors are used; the reader's race and gender are ambiguous.

The title of this fic is from Drift Away, the Steven Universe song.

word count: ...7.3k. i don't want to talk about it. 💀

ao3 version | Felix playlist

You enjoy being a tutor at Oxford. It doesn’t pay incredibly well, but the work itself is rewarding enough for you to forgive the meager wages. You genuinely look forward to your sessions, to seeing the bright gleam in a student’s eyes as they begin to understand the material in a way they hadn’t before. You muse on the thought as you walk into the library, heading for your usual table and arranging your materials. Your next session is in a few minutes, so you spend your spare time reviewing your notes from your previous class.

Someone pointedly clears their throat and you look up, only to find yourself staring at another student. He has messy brown hair, warm brown eyes, and an easy smile on his face. He looks self-assured, yet there’s a slight sense of apprehension veiled in the way he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Hello,” you decide to say.

“..Hello,” he responds casually.

There’s an awkward beat of silence. Feeling eyes on you, you glance to the side, only to find a few people staring at you from a few tables away. They must be his friends. You shake your head and pretend not to have noticed, instead turning your attention to your laptop. “You must be… Felix?” you ask.

“Yes,” Felix responds, amusement glimmering in his eyes as if he expects you to know exactly who he is.

“Great, have a seat,” you say, not bothering to pay him a second glance. You pull up the email you received from the tutoring center, which shows the coursework he’s bringing in. “You have… a philosophy essay?” Felix nods, taking a seat and going through his backpack. “Awesome. Can you tell me a little about the assignment?”

Within a few minutes, it’s clear that Felix is an extroverted person. Moreover, he seems to be rather popular—several people passing by clap him on the shoulder as they walk past him. Thankfully, the gestures aren’t super distracting. Still, you find yourself a little surprised at the sheer amount of friends this guy appears to have.

But that’s not important, you scold yourself. You revert your attention to his philosophy essay, which is off to a great start. Admittedly, he has a solid foundation—he just seems to need guidance working with transitioning between ideas. His citations could use some work, too, but you’re quick to refer him to the proper resources. Overall, though, his essay is well-crafted. You tell him as much, and his eyes momentarily widen before he averts his gaze, suddenly appearing flustered.

You still can’t shake the feeling that you’re being watched, though. It’s not Felix’s friends this time, either. You don’t realize how preoccupied you are with the feeling until Felix draws attention to it.

“Do you know him?” he asks, just as you’re in the middle of reading a sentence. You pause and look up, following Felix’s gaze to somewhere in the distance. Sure enough, Michael is lurking in the corner of two bookshelves, his eyes nearly burning into you.

“Yeah, that’s Michael.” At Felix’s inquiring look, you continue. “I’ve seen him around. Talked to him once or twice,” you admit. We’re not really friends gets caught in your throat. Admittedly, Michael creeps you out a little, but you’d never say that out loud.

Felix raises an eyebrow, twirls his pencil around his finger. He seems to be in his element now, as he sprawls in his chair with all the ease and confidence of someone who has never needed to make an effort for appearances. “He seems to think you’re friends,” Felix remarks lightly.

“He seems to think a lot of things,” you respond before you can stop yourself. Felix chuckles. “Back to your paper,” you say, returning your attention to your peer’s work.

The reminder of the tutoring session is rather uneventful. Felix is skilled at writing, and you can’t help but wonder if he’s struggling simply because he isn’t doing the work. You suppose you have no way of knowing for sure. He’s made small comments here and there about his writing and why he’s here today—apparently his parents issued him an ultimatum and pretty much forced him to show up for tutoring. The session goes rather well, though—even despite the fact that he seemed uninterested at the beginning.

“Alright,” you sigh once your time is up, placing a hand over the top of your laptop and shutting it ever so slightly. “Any last questions before we wrap up?” you ask him. Felix blinks for a moment.

“I don’t think so,” he responds with a shake of his head. He begins to pack up his things, before looking at you once more. There’s a newfound conviction in his frame now. Felix slings his bag over his shoulder, pausing for a moment. “You were super helpful,” he admits, looking away as if the admission is difficult to make.

“Good!” you say relievedly. You’re always thrilled to hear that your peers feel as if they’ve gotten something from the tutoring. Your own beliefs can only go so far, after all. Just because you perceive a session to be helpful doesn’t mean it’s helpful to the other student. You shake your head to clear your thoughts. “Glad to hear it. Enjoy your day, and best of luck with your classes.”

Felix returns the sentiment, sending you one last unreadable look before walking over to the group that you had assumed to be his friends. They greet him with enthusiasm, evidently asking him questions about the time he spent working with you. Whatever he responds with must be intriguing, because the group’s gazes pivot back to you once more. You quickly focus on packing your bag, resolutely ignoring the attentive eyes burning into your back as you leave the library.

Felix slips from your mind rather easily after that day, especially when your course load increases and your work schedule grows a bit more intense. You soon find yourself in a rather stringent routine, in which you go to classes, tutor, go to more classes, eat meals in between, and go to sleep. It’s not ideal, but you enjoy tutoring and your schoolwork enough to push through it.

You’re walking to one of your classes when you hear someone call your name. At first, you’re convinced you imagined the remark. It isn’t until there’s suddenly an arm slung around your shoulder that you realize you likely heard correctly. The unexpected physical contact prompts you to look to the side, only to find Felix staring at you with a sheepish smile.

“Hey, there you are,” he remarks. “I’ve been looking for you.” You reflexively stiffen at the thought, but the gesture goes unnoticed. Felix’s grip is relentless, and you soon find yourself being pushed towards the courtyard off the stone path and near a small group of people. These must be Felix’s friends from before.

“Mates, this is the tutor who saved my ass last week,” Felix tells his friends, his arm still around your shoulder. You resist the compelling urge to shove him away. “Say hello,” he says to his friends, before turning to you again. “I owe you a drink sometime.”

“I’m not much of a drinker,” you say with a shake of your head. You don’t have much time for that with your current schedule. A hangover would be nothing but an inconvenience considering how early you’ve had to wake up the past few days. “But thanks anyway.”

“Ciggie?” he offers, his arm finally falling from your shoulders to pull a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. You’re suddenly hit with a strange shiver, a phantom sensation of the weight that rested there only a moment prior. You don’t realize that you haven’t answered the question until a few moments later.

“No thanks,” you remember to respond, ignoring his friends’ gazes burning into your skin again. Do they have nothing better to do than tear you apart with their eyes? “Good to see you.” You’re quick to try to end the conversation, but Felix is quicker.

“Hey, are you free tonight?” he asks. Somehow, he seems immune to his friends’ stares, as they’re all whispering conspiratorially amongst themselves. You resolutely ignore them and instead contemplate his question.

“Um.. no,” you say, after taking a moment to recall your schedule. You need to complete some coursework. “Why? Do you have an assignment?” you frown, trying to think back to the classes he said he’s taking.

“No,” Felix responds with a shake of his head. He gestures to the group. “We were going out to the pub.”

“I have an essay to write,” you remark, trying to sound disappointed. Maybe a small part of you is genuinely saddened at the conflict of plans, but you’re mostly just relieved to have an excuse not to go. You glance over at the clock in the courtyard, heart beginning to race when you notice your next class starts in two minutes. “I have to go to class. See you.” You turn on your heel and walk away, just barely hearing Felix’s goodbye over the nearby conversations.

____

“Your tutor’s kind of dodgy, eh, mate?” Farleigh says.

“No, not at all,” Felix responds with a shake of his head. The expression on his face is thoughtful, and his eyes are fixed on your turned back.

“If you say so,” Farleigh shrugs, taking another drag.

____

You hadn’t realized Felix was so popular. Now that you’ve met him, you hear whispers of him all around the school. Everyone seems to have an opinion on him one way or another. You’ve only conversed with him the few times you’ve seen him in tutoring sessions and around campus, but he seems nice enough.

Classes fly by, to your satisfaction. Your last class of the day ends a bit after the regular dinner hour, but you manage to sneak into the dining hall and snag some food before the space closes. After that, you’re content to return to your room. It’s been a long day and you could use some time to yourself to just relax and breathe.

Unfortunately, your suffering doesn’t end when you reach your residence hall. Instead, the moment you enter, you nearly crash into a woman waiting in front of a door. You manage to sidestep her and head up the stairs leading to the next floor.

“Hey, have you seen Felix?” Her voice echoes in the stairway. You freeze and turn to look down at the woman standing on the landing. She has bright red hair and glittering makeup coating her eyes. You feel your brows climb up your forehead as you realize that the door she’s standing in front of must lead to Felix’s room. You didn’t realize he lived in this building too.

“They’re all at the pub,” you answer after a few moments, recalling your conversation earlier. “At least, that’s what he said when I spoke to him earlier.”

She doesn’t seem satisfied with your answer, as she takes a deep breath. “Do you have alcohol?” she then asks.

“No,” you answer honestly. Felix’s friend stares at you for a moment, before huffing and walking away. You can’t find the energy to dissect that conversation, so you instead focus on unlocking the door to your room. You spend the rest of the night purposefully suppressing any thoughts of Felix and his friends.

When you wake the next morning, you feel somewhat rejuvenated and well-rested. Your essay is more than halfway done and you still have a few days before the due date. The sun is out and shining, casting a hazy glow over the courtyard that your room looks out on. You take a deep breath, before changing and brushing your teeth. You head to the dining hall for a small breakfast, before moving to the library for your first tutoring session of the day.

You’re not sure how much time you spend waiting for your peer to show, but you reckon it can’t be that long. It only feels like ten minutes pass before there’s a shadow passing over your vision, indicating that someone is standing over your table. You look up, unable to contain your surprise when you find Felix with a bag slung over his shoulder and a smile on his face.

“Hi,” you remark.

“Hey,” he responds, placing his bag on the ground and sitting down. You take the gifted opportunity to review the information given to you for the tutoring session. It appears Felix has another philosophy essay he wants you to look at. That shouldn’t be too bad. You give him a moment to get his things out, before diving right into his writing.

You’re happy to realize that he has used some of your tips from your first session. You already notice that the flow of his writing has improved, and his use of transition words at the beginning of each paragraph has aided in that regard. He has a few grammar errors—nothing major—and a few small citation mistakes. “Instead of listing all the authors, you can just say ‘Marks et al.’ here,” you point out, gesturing to the sentence that you’re looking at on the screen. Felix nods silently and adjusts the text.

“I heard you spoke with Annabel the other day,” he remarks, apropos of nothing. You’re abruptly thrown off track as your attention turns from the paper to Felix himself. He repeats his statement.

“Really?” you ask. Felix nods. “Sure, we spoke for a bit.” You return to reading his essay, confused by the sudden change in subject.

“What did you talk about?” he presses.

“She asked if I had seen you,” you answer, trying and failing to multitask. You eventually give up on reading for the time being and address his question. “I said no.”

“And?” Felix prompts.

“And that was it,” you finish. Felix still doesn’t seem convinced for some reason. You rack your brain and try to remember your interaction with the woman. It only happened a few days ago, but you’ve been so busy that it feels like a lifetime ago. “Oh, she asked me if I had alcohol. I said no. Then that was it.” You must imagine the momentary look of relief on his face.

“She called you prickly,” Felix continues, a mischievous smile on his face. You’re not sure what there is to smile about.

“I’m sure,” you respond disinterestedly. You’d like to go back to reading his paper, but he keeps diverting your attention and changing the subject. Before you can even attempt to try reading again, there’s suddenly a hand on the edge of your laptop, pushing your screen down ever so slightly. You look up to find Felix watching you rather closely.

“Who are you, exactly?” Felix asks. The library around you seems to fall silent with the remark. Your skin prickles. Why is there such an intent look on his face? Surely learning more about you doesn’t matter that much to him. Felix evidently notices you’re speechless and continues. “I don’t know anything about you. I’ve seen you around campus a few times, but that’s it.”

“I’m your tutor,” you respond, after taking a moment to collect your thoughts. Your heart is hammering away in your chest. “You don’t need to know anything about me.”

“What if I want to?”

“You wouldn’t want to,” you reply instinctively, warily. Alarm bells are ringing in your head. You can’t quite imagine a scenario in which Felix Catton, wealthy heir and avid partygoer, would ever benefit from knowing anything about you. Does he even notice how much attention he’s drawing, just sitting here with you right now? Even his friends are confused by his supposed interest in you. “I’m nothing special.” You try to look at his essay once more.

“That’s not true,” Felix says insistently, getting to his feet and placing his hand on your laptop once more. He’s ripping your eyes away from the screen and towards him. There’s an indignant expression on his face, as if he’s insulted by your claim. You blink up at him in confusion. If everyone in the library wasn’t staring already, then they certainly are now. Felix seems to regain his composure, as he shakes his head and moves to sit down once more.

There’s a palpable tension lingering in the air throughout the rest of your session. Felix seems anchored to his chair, as if he doesn’t want to leave. Eventually, you’re the one to leave first, as you have class in a few minutes. You can feel his eyes on your back as you walk away, imploring you to explain yourself further. You’re not sure what there is to explain.

Despite your prior promises not to pay attention to the rumors and whispers of your peers, you can’t help but acknowledge them. You have to wonder if some of it is true—if Felix doesn’t really do friends, if he is only interested in people for whatever they can offer him. Truthfully, Felix isn’t a person you would’ve interacted with. If not for tutoring, you’re sure you would’ve spent your entire time at Oxford knowing absolutely nothing about him and being unable to explain the strange stirring feeling of dislike in your chest. It’s too late now, though. It seems you can’t go back to the way things once were—not when Felix knows who you are now. You just have to hope that maybe, just maybe, he’ll realize there’s nothing particularly compelling about you.

For a while, you don’t see Felix Catton and you are fooled into thinking he may have actually lost interest. You feel relieved at the thought. A small, traitorous part of you may long for the company he provides—the soft smiles he sends you, the glitter in his eyes as he speaks to you and only you. It was only for the best that you drifted apart, you think to yourself as you take an armchair in the library. The end of the semester is approaching, and you’ve taken every free moment to study and review course materials. Many other students seem to have the same idea, as the library has been a bit busier these past few weeks.

You barely get to start rereading your notes before a familiar voice is speaking to you. “My parents were impressed.” You look up to find Felix standing over you. It takes you several seconds to process his statement.

“With what?” you ask. Admittedly, you��re confused as to why he felt the need to approach you right now of all times. You’re sitting alone at a table in the library, and a few students are throwing you dirty looks as Felix continues to speak to you. You want nothing more than to sink into the ground and disappear forever.

“My philosophy grade, of course,” Felix remarks, taking the chair adjacent to you. You feel like everyone in the library is staring at you. When you look up, you find that a few students actually are—Felix’s friends at another table are among them. Felix seems immune to the attention he provokes. “They really want to meet you.” That surprises you. Why would his parents want to meet you? Because of your tutoring? All these questions must show on your face, because Felix elaborates. “They wanted to thank you.”

That’s interesting. “Are they visiting Oxford soon?” you ask curiously.

“No,” Felix answers. Your brows furrow and he shakes his head. “I meant this summer. You should join us at Saltburn.” He looks at you expectantly. You don’t have the faintest clue what Saltburn is, but you guess it must be a name for their residence. Judging from what you’ve heard of the Cattons, Saltburn is likely a very large, very extravagant mansion.

You blink at Felix once, twice. The expression on his face holds nothing but complete sincerity. You feel a laugh crawl out of your throat. It’s only until you see his face fall that you realize he’s not joking. “Oh, you’re serious,” you comprehend aloud. “Yeah, I could stop by.”

“I’d like you there,” he confesses. You feel your eyes widen as you stare at him in disbelief. “Is that so hard to believe?” Felix asks, looking at you skeptically.

Yes. Yes, it is. “...No.”

“You don’t sound convinced,” Felix says lightly. It almost looks as if he’s forcing a smile.

“You’re right,” you acquiesce, “I’m not convinced.”

Felix huffs in amusement, before pushing himself out of the chair and sending you a wave over his shoulder. You watch him leave, unable to shake the feeling that, somehow, you’re going to be roped into visiting his parents at their residence this summer.

Two months later, as you find yourself staring up at the splendor of Saltburn, you think you shouldn’t be as surprised as you are. Then again, a summons from James and Elspeth Catton isn’t exactly something you can ignore. You tug your suitcase across the rocky driveway, before arriving at the gargantuan wooden doors at the entrance. For a moment, there’s nothing but silence as you stand there. A few moments later, the doors swing open and you’re greeted by a man in a tuxedo—evidently a butler of some sort. He takes you into a beautifully ornate room with sunlight streaming in past ornate golden curtains. Thankfully, you’re not left to your own devices for long, as you hear footsteps echoing through the space.

Felix walks through the doorway, his expression brightening when he sees you. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says. The sincerity of his statement catches you off guard. Felix takes a step closer to break the distance between you and slings an arm around your shoulders, leading you past the butler and towards the edge of the room. You’re hit with whiplash—both because of the surprisingly heartfelt remark and the rapidity of Felix’s actions. Felix proceeds to take you on an informal tour of the residence, before leading you through his bedroom and the adjacent bathroom to your room.

“Hope you don’t mind sharing a bathroom,” he remarks offhandedly, leading you into the space that will be your bedroom. You assure him that you don’t mind and he grins, gesturing at your new room with a flourish. “Here’s your room. I’ll leave you to it.” He freezes in the doorway, pressing a hand to the doorframe and turning around for a brief moment. “We’ll be in the sitting room,” Felix adds, before turning back around and walking away.

You stare at the empty doorway for an immeasurable amount of time, before letting your gaze wander across the room. The room is quite gorgeous, with an elegant four poster bed and detailed paintings adorning the walls. The door leads to the bathroom, which then connects to Felix’s bedroom. You’re grateful that he placed you near him—you’re not sure you’d be comfortable inhabiting a room on the other side of the house, with no one around to guide you. You place your luggage off to the side—after telling the butler that you could carry it on your own—and take a deep breath. Truthfully, you’re not really sure why you’re here. You’re only going to humiliate yourself. You don’t belong here. Why did you even entertain the thought?

You try to come up with an answer as you pace around the room, before finally deciding that there isn’t a clear-cut answer. You glance over at the clock in the corner, eyes widening when you realize that you spent at least twenty minutes just standing in the room and thinking. You take a few cautious steps into the bathroom, walk through Felix’s bedroom, and go down the hall Felix pointed out earlier. You quickly realize you’re going in the wrong direction and backpedal, only to find a door left nearly closed, with a small crack letting the sound of conversation slip into the hall. This must be the sitting room.

You take a deep breath, steel your nerves, and knock on the door. Someone remarks that you can enter and you do so, pushing the door open more and stepping into the sitting room. The television is playing, but everyone’s eyes seem to be on you. Felix is sitting in the corner and his friend—Farleigh?—is sitting near the back of the room. You don’t get much time to take in your surroundings, as you’re quickly accosted by who you can only assume to be Felix’s father.

“Ah, you must be the tutor,” he remarks, getting up from his seat. “So wonderful to meet you. I’m James, and this is my wife, Elspeth.” You shake his proffered hand, before lingering awkwardly in the center of the room. Thankfully, Elspeth gets up to greet you, saving you from further embarrassment.

“I suppose you’re the one we owe for our son’s wonderful grades this term!” Elspeth remarks, bringing you in for a hug. Felix huffs and mutters something about not needing the help. You feel somewhat inclined to defend him, for reasons you can’t quite explain.

“Don’t give me too much credit,” you smile. “Felix is a great writer.”

Felix mutters something again, too quiet for you to hear. His mother turns to him and asks him to repeat himself. He averts his eyes and you swear you see him flush for a split second. “Not as great as you.”

“Well, aren’t you the flatterer,” Elspeth says, waving a casual hand at her son. Her gaze then turns back to you. “And you. So humble! I can see why Felix talks about you so much.” Felix freezes like a deer in headlights, before quickly leaving the room, murmuring about talkative mothers. You stare after him helplessly. There goes the only person that finds you even mildly tolerable.

“We are very thankful for your help, truly,” James says, crossing his leg over his knee. “Felix has always been a good student, but this term, he… he’s been different. We’re glad that he’s gotten his affairs back in order. With your assistance, of course! You must show me your writing sometime.”

“Thank you,” you respond sincerely. “I’d love to. And thank you so much for inviting me into your home.”

“So polite!” Elspeth remarks, shooting a dirty look at the other woman in the room. You quickly pretend you didn’t notice that. “Of course, darling.”

You’re left to sit awkwardly in the sitting room for a few moments. Felix’s parents ask you a few questions, but eventually their attention falls back to the program they’re watching. A shadow at the door draws your eye and you see Felix motioning for you to follow after him. You glance at his parents, who both motion for you to join their son. You get to your feet and walk out of the room, ignoring the sensation of a pressured gaze boring holes into your back.

“Sorry about that,” Felix apologizes, once the two of you are turning the corner and walking down the hall.

“About what?” you ask, glancing at him. “Your parents seem nice.”

Felix just sighs and shakes his head. You don’t think you can even begin to truly comprehend the emotions behind that simple gesture, so you decide to simply succumb to the silence that spreads across the air.

You spend the rest of the afternoon reading one of the books in the library. You don’t realize that it’s time for dinner until Felix is entering the space and practically dragging you along behind him to the dining room.

“I hear your birthday is coming up,” Felix’s father, James, remarks at some point throughout the meal. You look up from where you’d been absently poking at your food. There’s an expectant look on his face. You have to wonder how he knows when your birthday is. You don’t remember telling anyone about it—except for Felix, perhaps. “Yes, it is,” you agree.

“Have any grand plans?” Elspeth suggests. Her eyes quickly light up. You’re suddenly filled with trepidation. “Oh, we should have a birthday party! We could invite all your friends!” You freeze on instinct. You’re not the biggest fan of parties, and you know you definitely don’t have enough friends at Oxford to fill a place as big as Saltburn for a party. Felix’s mother glances at you expectantly, immune to your internal crisis.

You’re saved from responding by Felix’s remark. “You’re not really a party person, are you?” he asks. His parents’ gazes focus on you and you nearly sag in relief, feeling the tension seep from your shoulders.

“Oh, nonsense,” Elspeth remarks. Shit, you think. “Everyone loves parties! We’ll have to make it themed…” You resist a groan. It’s too late. Felix’s mother and father are already chattering about the details of the party, the number of people they’ll invite… You don’t want to appear ungrateful, so you stifle your objections and spend the rest of the meal staring at the wall ahead.

When dinner is finished, Felix is the first one to depart. He stares at you pointedly and gestures wordlessly to the exit. You get the idea and practically jump from your seat, grateful for an excuse to leave. You walk behind Felix, pretending not to notice how broad his shoulders are. “Sorry about that,” Felix grimaces, his back turned as he continues walking, “My mother has a bit of a one track mind, sometimes.”

“It’s fine,” you remark. You can survive one party. Besides, it may actually be enjoyable. You tell him as much and he seems to brighten up at that. That night, you recline on your mattress with thoughts flooding your mind, leaving you awake for longer than you’d like. Eventually, the curtain falls and your vision fades to black.

When you open your eyes, you find yourself standing on the balcony of the mansion, overlooking the yard. There are clothes and discarded drinks littering the previously spotless grass. What disturbs you most of all, however, is the franticness with which everyone seems to be conducting themselves. You stare out at the wreckage that must’ve come from the party and take a deep breath.

“What happened?” you ask Farleigh after walking down the steps. The expression on his face is grave and panicked at the same time. He’s wading through the pond and soaking his clothes, but he hardly seems to notice.

“We can’t find Felix,” he responds, his eyes flitting about the area. There’s a horrible tugging feeling in your stomach as you realize that Farleigh’s looking for Felix in the water. Did something happen to him? You swallow hard and walk around the grounds, trying to comprehend how Felix could have gone missing in such a short time.

Out of nowhere, Venetia screams. Feeling a shiver roll down your spine, you race over in the direction of the voice, only to find yourself running through the overgrown walls of the maze. You see Venetia’s blond hair and you quickly run over to her, only to freeze when you see what she screamed about. Felix is lying motionless in the center of the maze. You feel an itching feeling in the back of your throat, a burning sensation behind your eyes. Farleigh arrives and gasps; Venetia starts crying. You don’t know what to do, as you stand helplessly before your peer, your friend. James arrives and takes a shuddering breath, eyes glassy as he stares at the corpse of his son. For a long moment, nothing can be heard except for Farleigh and Venetia’s sobs and your ragged breathing.

“We need to move him,” James announces. You stare at him in disbelief. How is he even functioning right now? He sounds eerily calm despite the gravity of the situation.

Apparently, you don’t react fast enough, because James’s hands are soon on your shoulders and he’s shoving you towards the body. You just barely catch yourself from falling over. The patriarch grabs Felix’s shoulders and prompts for you to grab his ankles. You’re shaking. You can’t move. Tears sliding down your face, you reach down to touch the corpse—only to recoil at how cold the skin is. Suddenly, there’s a harsh sound and Felix’s body is sinking beneath the earth, engulfed by soil and pebbles—

You gasp and open your eyes, only to find yourself in your room once more. You try to breathe, but the effort burns. Sweat coats your skin and your limbs are shaky. With trembling hands, you reach out to the nightstand and take a few sips of water, before wiping the sweat from your brows. The sheets on the bed are a mess—you must’ve been tossing and turning. Your breaths are still laborious, and your chest is beginning to ache. You mechanically get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom, standing in front of the sink. Your reflection in the mirror is grim—dark circles under your eyes and a firm pull to your lips. You reach down and turn on the water, letting the freezing temperature ground you in reality. Eventually, you reach down and douse your face with cold water.

Once you’re finished, you grab a towel and dry off your face. “Hey, are you okay?” You nearly jump out of your body at the sudden voice. You wipe any remaining water droplets away, recognizing the voice as Felix’s. “I heard a scream.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” you mumble, rubbing a hand over your face. The water helped, but you still feel jittery and unsettled. You grasp at the edges of the sink and resolutely look down at the counter.

“Are you okay?” Felix asks again. You finally turn around, only for your mouth to go dry as your gaze settles on your friend. Felix is standing in the doorway, healthy and happy and alive. It’s such a harsh contrast from the Felix you had seen in your dreams—a pale, frozen shell of himself. Before you can recognize what you’re doing, you’re surging forward to wrap your arms around Felix. To his credit, he doesn’t flinch or push you away—instead, he pulls you close with a hand on the nape of your neck. You feel self conscious for getting so worked up about a dream, but it just felt so real. You could feel the weight of his dead body in your hands.

“Did you have a nightmare or something?” Felix whispers after a few moments. You nod quietly, not trusting yourself to speak. “I’m sorry.” He’s the one apologizing, after you made too much noise and woke him in the middle of the night with your terror. You just shake your head wordlessly.

You’re not sure how much time you spend standing there, Felix’s arms enveloping you. Eventually, the edges of the nightmare begin to fade away and your friend’s presence is undeniable. Felix is safe, you tell yourself. He is fine.

Breaking away from him feels far more difficult than it should be. You immediately miss his warmth, miss the feeling of being shielded from harm. Felix’s arms fall to his sides, before he braces them on the bathroom counter. Taken in by the inexplicable urge to touch him, you place a hand over his and pretend not to hear his startled inhale of breath.

“Thank you,” you murmur.

“Of course,” Felix responds, a note of something imperceptible in his voice. You smile and briefly squeeze his hand, before letting your grip fall away. You wish him good night and head back to your room, pushing aside any lingering convictions that he’s watching your every step. It is much easier to fall asleep once you remember that Felix is but a few steps away, alive and well.

When you wake up hours later, you’re relieved to recognize you feel far better than you did earlier. You didn’t seem to have another nightmare, thankfully. You prepare for the day and change into some casual clothes, before remembering that the party is today. You try to sneak through Felix’s room, only to find that he’s already awake. After he’s ready, the two of you head down to breakfast together. The meal is incredible, as usual.

After breakfast, you return to your room to find clothes on the bed. They’re clearly not yours—the fabric is incredibly luxurious and looks quite expensive. You glance around the room, but there’s no sign of the person who left this attire for you. Upon closer examination, you realize it’s your exact sizing. You wonder if Felix’s parents got your sizes from the butler and ordered you something. That would certainly be very nice of them.

Secretly, you’re thankful someone had the forethought to provide you clothes. You probably would’ve stuck out like a sore thumb if you had worn any of the clothing you brought from home. After all, you don’t really belong here. You’re just a temporary guest.

With those thoughts in mind, you decide to unfold the clothes—revealing an elegant dress shirt and fine-pressed pants. The shirt is a fabric you’re unfamiliar with, and it shimmers as it catches the light. The color is quite beautiful—a cross between deep green and dark blue. Whoever purchased this outfit has good taste (or a lot of money to burn, or both). You’re almost too scared to put the outfit on, for fear of ruining the expensive fabric. Eventually, you manage to convince yourself to change clothes. As you turn to look at yourself in the mirror, you realize you barely look like yourself. That may be an exaggeration, but you still feel as if you look like an entirely different person—one who fits in here. You’re not sure how to feel about that. You had maintained that you wouldn’t change yourself to fit in at Saltburn, yet here you are—dressed as if these parties are a common occurrence for you. You take a deep breath and leave your room, deciding to walk around to get rid of some of your nerves. You eventually get roped into helping Venetia choose an outfit to wear, which kills some time.

Before long, the sun is setting in the sky and the party is beginning. You have no idea where to go or what to do—you hardly know anyone here. You haven’t caught so much of a glimpse of Felix, Farleigh, or Venetia since the party started. You do manage to find Felix’s parents, and thank them profusely for the party. It’s probably not that big of a deal to them, but you still feel that expressing your gratitude is somewhat necessary.

After that, you eventually manage to find yourself standing in one of the corners of the sprawling maze outside. You feel somewhat fatigued from the minimal social interaction you’ve had thus far, and you figure your absence won’t be a huge deal breaker for any of the other partygoers. They’re not here for you—they’re here for a party. The party just happens to coincide with your birthday. You’re not naive enough to think otherwise.

“Enjoying the party?” A familiar voice cuts through the night air. You turn around, only to find Felix standing at the edge of the maze. He takes a few steps to break the distance between you. You cross your arms over your chest and try to hide how self-conscious you feel.

“Yeah, thanks,” you remark after a moment. “You?”

Felix just nods silently. He’s staring at you intently, his gaze flitting up and down your form. “You look nice,” he says after a moment of silence. His gaze is intense and you feel flames prickling up your skin.

“Thanks,” you respond. You decide to mimic his scrutinizing gaze. “You too.” Not like that’s anything new, you think to yourself. Felix always looks nice. You’re given a reprieve from questioning that thought by Felix’s next remark.

“Happy birthday,” he says.

“Thank you,” you manage to say moments later, once your tongue no longer feels ironed to the roof of your mouth.

“I’m happy you’re here,” Felix murmurs, almost too quietly for you to hear. The night air seems to still around you.

“Me too,” you eventually admit. “It’s been… fun.” You’ve enjoyed this summer, enjoyed the time you’ve gotten to spend with Felix. You never would’ve expected yourself to enjoy spending time in a place like Saltburn, yet here you are.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Felix admits. He’s looking up to the midnight sky as if it holds all the answers. The black wings on his back seem to gleam in the moonlight. He looks like a fallen angel.

“Why?” you ask.

Felix is staring at you as if the answer to that question is extremely obvious. He then rubs a hand over his face, before turning to face the statue in the courtyard. The wings extending from his turned back create a harsh silhouette on the grass. “Why do you think I brought you here?” He suggests.

“Your parents wanted me here,” you recount.

“No,” Felix sighs, “Yes, but… no. That’s not the main reason.” You wait for him to continue. Somehow, this admission seems to be torturing him. He keeps pacing around restlessly, as if unable to keep still. Eventually, he shakes his head and comes to a stop, meeting your eyes.

“I wanted to get to know you better,” Felix admits. “I hoped that, once I got to know you, everything else would go away.” Everything else? He continues, immune to your confusion and wariness. “It didn’t. You came here, and now, the more I get to know you, the more I want to be around you.”

“Why?” you hear yourself blurting out. The words are spilling from your lips uncontrollably. “I’m just a normal student, an average person.”

“You’re far from it,” Felix argues. “And you should know that by now. You have to know by now.”

“Know… what?” You dare to say.

Felix puts a hand over his face, evidently trying to gather his thoughts. You keep silent, despite your heart drumming quickly in your chest. “I have feelings for you,” he says. “Nearly this entire time, I’ve had feelings for you. All throughout this summer.”

Felix has feelings for you? Surely that can’t be the case. Hell, he could have anyone he wanted. He’s almost constantly showered in attention and praise. Why would he want to be with you of all people? You have virtually nothing to offer him that could be useful: you’re not wealthy, nor are you a regular partygoer with a penchant for trouble. You’re just… you.

“You’re the only person that has ever bothered to try to get to know me for me,” Felix explains, as if sensing your self-deprecating thoughts. “Not as the eldest son of the Cattons. Just as Felix.”

“You don’t buy into any of this bullshit,” he continues, his eyes wandering across the walls of the maze. You immediately know he’s referring to the splendor of Saltburn, the unspoken expectations that nearly suffocate the air around you. Felix inhales slowly. “Not to mention, you’re wicked smart. Compassionate. Attractive.”

He’s taking a step towards you. Then another. You don’t stop him, and he pauses in front of you. You don’t think you’ve seen his eyes sparkle like this before.

“Can I kiss you?” Felix asks, his hand slowly rising to break the air between you and fall to cradle your jaw.

You nod wordlessly. For an awkward moment, neither of you move. Felix looks uncharacteristically hesitant. You huff a laugh and break the distance between you, putting your lips to his.

In a few moments, Farleigh and Venetia will come across the both of you and you will each be teased relentlessly for the rest of the night. Felix’s parents will exchange knowing looks when Felix and you walk into breakfast the next morning hand in hand. And Duncan, the butler, will have a wry curve to his lips—an almost indistinguishable smile—to show his hard-won approval. For now, though, you are left to embrace Felix under the shimmering moonlight, surrounded by a labyrinth of hedges and gilded mansion walls that no longer look nearly as intimidating as they once did.

whewww! i really got carried away there, didn't i? i just adore the idea of Felix being bewildered by someone not falling head over heels for him. like, the irony of him catching feelings for the *one* person who doesn't actually seem to like him... it's just too good.

i *could* write a farleigh/reader fic... so lmk if that's something y'all would want to see. no promises, though. (if i were able to write it, it would probably be much shorter than this fic, bc this one absolutely ran away from me).

anyway, hope you enjoyed this! thanks for reading! <3

taglist: @its-ares @excusemeasibangmyheadonawall

#defectivevillain #saltburn #Felix catton #Felix Catton x reader #Felix x reader #Felix Catton x gn reader #Felix Catton x male reader #Felix x gn reader #Felix x male reader #gn reader #male reader #just covering all the bases #x reader #x male reader #x gn reader #ok that's probs enough

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luvdwkki · 7 months ago

Text

Back in time

Felix x Gn!reader

Word count: 3,094

Summary: You and Felix have been together for three years, so he decides to take you on a date that revisits your past.

It was Felix’s idea, and he’d been planning it for weeks, adding small, thoughtful touches to make the night unforgettable. On a warm, breezy Friday evening, he parked outside your office just as the sun was beginning to dip in the sky, casting a golden glow over the street. As he waited, he ran a hand nervously over his shirt, making sure everything was just right.

Finally, he saw you step out of the building, your face lighting up as you spotted him. You walked over with that effortless grace he loved, your hair catching the light and framing your face in soft waves. As you approached, he reached over to the passenger seat and lifted a bouquet of your favourite flowers toward you. They were wrapped in pale pink tissue paper with a small satin ribbon tied around the stems, just the way you liked them.

Your eyes widened in surprise as you opened the car door. “Felix, what’s all this?” you asked, your voice full of delight as you climbed into the car and settled into the seat. You took the bouquet gently, lifting it to your face to breathe in the soft, sweet scent.

Felix grinned, his eyes warm as he watched your reaction. “Just a little something for the person I love,” he said with a playful smile, reaching over to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “And... I was thinking we could go back to where it all began.”

Your lips curled into a knowing smile. You leaned back in your seat, twirling one of the peonies between your fingers as you looked at him with a mix of affection and curiosity. “You mean the coffee shop on Rose Street?” you asked, your voice soft and filled with memories, as if you could already see yourselves sitting there, just as you did three years ago.

“Exactly,” Felix replied, reaching over to squeeze your hand gently. He felt a familiar thrill at the touch, a warmth that hadn’t faded even after three years together. He shifted the car into gear and pulled out onto the road, your fingers still entwined.

As he drove, you began to reminisce, laughter and warmth filling the car like a cocoon around you. Felix brought up the first moments of that evening, how he’d stood outside the café for a good ten minutes before working up the courage to walk in, rehearsing his opening line in his head.

You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “Really? You seemed so calm and collected,” you teased, squeezing his hand. “I never would’ve guessed.”

He let out a sheepish laugh, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your hand. “Trust me, I was far from calm. I was so distracted I could barely focus on my coffee. I kept thinking I’d mess it up somehow, like maybe I’d say the wrong thing, or you’d think I was boring. But then…you started telling me that story about the stray beagle you tried to adopt when you were seven, and all my nerves just melted away. I knew right then that we’d get along.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you chuckled, covering your mouth as you recalled the story you had shared with him that night. “Oh, you mean the one where I tried to sneak a neighbour’s dog into the house and pretended he was a stray so my parents would let me keep him?”

Felix laughed too, shaking his head. “Yes, exactly. That’s when I knew you were something special—this mix of sweet and bold and just the right amount of mischievous. I could’ve listened to you talk all night.”

You looked down at your entwined hands, your smile softening. “And you…you had this quiet way about you, like you were listening to every single word. You looked at me like I was the only person in the world.” He paused, glancing at you with a tender smile. “You still do.”

You felt your heart swell, and he lifted your hand to his lips, brushing a light kiss across your knuckles. “That’s because you are, Felix.”

The rest of the drive was filled with the warmth of shared memories and soft laughter, each story making you feel as if you were falling in love all over again.

When you reached the café, Felix parked the car and quickly stepped around to your side to open the door, his hand outstretched as if he were holding something fragile and priceless. You took his hand, feeling the familiar warmth of his grip as he helped you out. For a moment, you stood there, side by side, taking in the sight of the little coffee shop on Rose Street, its windows softly glowing in the early evening light.

Felix looked over at you, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Ready to go back in time?”

You smiled back, and you walked toward the entrance, hand in hand. Stepping inside, you were immediately enveloped by the warm, rich scent of freshly ground coffee, mingled with the faint aroma of vanilla and cinnamon from the pastries in the display case. The coffee shop hadn’t changed at all in three years—the same wooden tables, mismatched chairs, and bookshelves lined the walls. The hum of conversation from other patrons filled the cosy space.

Felix led you to the corner booth near the window, the same one you had shared on your first date. It was a small, intimate spot with just enough space for two people to sit close, overlooking the street outside. As you slid into your old seats, Felix’s grin grew wider, his eyes twinkling as if he were holding onto a delicious secret.

You looked around, taking in the nostalgic setting, your heart fluttering with memories. “This place…it feels exactly the same,” you murmured, tracing your fingers along the edge of the table. “Do you remember how nervous we were? I could barely keep my hands from shaking.”

Felix chuckled, reaching over to place his hand over yours. “Oh, I remember,” he said, squeezing your hand gently. “But look at us now. Three years later, and I’m still sitting here wondering how I got lucky enough to find you.”

Your eyes met, and for a moment, you both fell silent, wrapped in a feeling that needed no words. The waitress arrived, breaking the spell, and without even glancing at the menu, Felix ordered your old drinks: a hot chocolate for himself and a chamomile tea for you, just as it had been that first night.

As you waited for your drinks, Felix slipped a hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small, folded note. “Remember this?” he asked, his voice soft but tinged with excitement.

Curious, You reached for the note, unfolding it slowly. Your eyes widened, and you let out a soft gasp as you took in the small, hand-drawn cartoon of a floppy-eared beagle, a familiar detail from the kidnapped beagle story. Underneath, in Felix’s handwriting, were the words “Our First Memory,” with a tiny, delicate heart drawn just above the dog’s head.

“You kept this?” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. You looked up at him, your eyes glistening. “All this time?”

Felix’s expression softened, and he nodded, his gaze steady and warm. “I’ve kept everything,” he said quietly, his fingers tracing yours on the table. “Every note, every ticket stub, every little memory. I want to remember every little thing about us. I never want to forget even a single moment.”

You felt your heart swell, overwhelmed by the tenderness in his words. You looked back down at the drawing, your fingers brushing over the lines of the little beagle, drawn with such care and love. This wasn’t just a reminder of your first date—it was a symbol of everything Felix had come to mean to you.

Your drinks arrived, and as you lifted your cups in a small toast to each other, you couldn’t help but think of how far you'd come, from the nervous excitement of that first date to the deep, steady love you shared now. Felix took a slow sip of his hot chocolate, his eyes never leaving your face, and you felt a little flutter in your chest, just as you had three years ago. You could feel the weight of his gaze and gave him a playful smile over the rim of your cup. you knew at that moment that no matter how many years passed, this memory—and every other memory you'd built together—would be cherished for a lifetime.

You lingered over your drinks, letting your conversation drift naturally between reminiscing and laughter. Felix brought up little details you had forgotten, moments you hadn’t realised he’d noticed. “Do you remember how I nearly spilled my coffee?” he said, grinning sheepishly. “I was so distracted that night, trying to focus on what you were saying, but all I could think about was how I’d never met anyone like you.”

You laughed, covering your mouth as you remembered. “Oh, yes! You were gripping that mug like it was a lifeline!” you teased. “I actually thought you didn’t like me, you were so quiet.” you paused, your eyes dancing as you looked back at him. “And yet here we are.”

Felix reached across the table, taking your free hand in his. His thumb brushed gently over your knuckles, a simple touch that made your heart skip. “I was nervous because I liked you so much. And then…” He chuckled, leaning back a little, “you started laughing, and I was done for. I still remember your laugh from that night—how you tried to hide it with your hand, like you were embarrassed.”

You rolled your eyes, blushing. “I was! But then I saw the look on your face, like you were seeing something amazing. I don’t think anyone had ever looked at me like that before.” You glanced down, feeling the warmth spread through your body, then looked back up at him with a soft smile. “I think that’s when I started to fall for you.”

You continued talking about that night, each detail unfolding like pages in a cherished storybook. Felix told you how he’d noticed the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed, how your voice softened when you talked about things that mattered to you, and how when you left the café that night, he’d already known he wanted to hold your hand, even though he was too shy to make the first move.

As you finished your drinks, Felix leaned in, his voice low and sincere. “That night…I knew it was only the beginning. And now, every time I’m with you, I feel the same way.”

You squeezed his hand, your heart full. “I feel it too.”

You sat in quiet contentment for a moment, watching the café come to life around you, the other customers and clinking glasses a comforting backdrop. Finally, Felix took your hand again, helping you up, and together you left the café, stepping out into the evening light.

The sky was painted in soft hues of pink and gold as you began your walk to the park just a few blocks away. You walked in a companionable silence, hand in hand, as the sun dipped lower, casting a warm glow over the trees that lined the path. The air was crisp and tinged with the faint scent of autumn leaves. As you strolled along the winding trails, Felix pulled you a little closer, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

You meandered down paths you had walked three years ago, paths where you’d once laughed nervously, unsure of where things would lead. But now, you walked with an ease and familiarity that only time and love could bring, each step feeling as natural as breathing.

As you reached a clearing where the last light of day settled over the lake, Felix stopped and turned to you, a warm, tender smile on his face. He brushed a stray hair from your cheek, his fingers lingering just a moment longer than usual.

“Three years ago, I didn’t know what life would be like with you,” he murmured, his voice soft. “But now…I can’t imagine my life without you.”

You looked into his eyes, your own heart full as you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Neither can I,” you whispered.

You continued your walk as the last rays of sunlight faded, your hands entwined as naturally as if you had been made to fit together.

As you strolled along the path, the world around you grew quiet, the soft rustling of leaves and the gentle hum of crickets filling the air. The evening light faded to dusk, casting a peaceful glow over the park. Eventually, you approached a secluded spot where a small pond lay nestled among trees. The water was still, reflecting the fading colours of the sky above, and a faint mist rose from its surface, lending an ethereal beauty to the scene.

Felix slowed, glancing over at you as if gauging the perfect moment. He gently squeezed your hand, bringing you to a stop beside the pond’s edge. The serene quiet seemed to stretch between you, amplifying the sound of your heartbeat, and for a moment, you simply stood there, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s presence.

Finally, Felix turned to face you, his expression tender and serious. “I have one more memory for us to make tonight,” he said, his voice soft but carrying a depth of emotion that made your heart skip a beat.

Your breath caught, your pulse quickening as you saw him reach into his jacket pocket, your mind racing with the possibilities of what this moment could hold. Your eyes widened as his hand emerged, holding a small velvet box—a box that, even before it opened, seemed to hold a thousand promises. You could feel your heart flutter wildly, your gaze locked on his face as he took a deep, steadying breath and with a graceful certainty, dropped down onto one knee.

The world around you faded, leaving only the two of you together. His gaze fixed on yours with such love and vulnerability that your eyes filled with tears. In the soft glow of dusk, Felix looked up at you, his expression a beautiful blend of hope and devotion, but you could see the flicker of nerves in his eyes, a touch of uncertainty that made him all the more endearing.

“Y/n,” he began, his voice steady but thick with feeling, “for three years, you’ve filled my life with laughter, love, and more happiness than I could ever hope for.” His hand, still holding the box, trembled slightly as he spoke, his gaze never leaving yours. “You’ve made me feel more understood, more whole, and more alive than I ever knew I could be. I want to keep walking this path with you—for as many years as you’ll have me.”

He opened the small box, revealing a delicate, shimmering ring nestled inside—a perfect symbol of the life he wanted to share with you. The diamond caught the fading light, casting a small glimmer between you, but you barely saw it; all you could focus on was Felix, his face filled with so much love and hope.

“Will you marry me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, each word carrying the weight of his love for you.

Your heart overflowed, your hand flying to your mouth as you took in the depth of his words, the sincerity in his gaze. Your vision blurred with tears, and you nodded, a joyful, choked laugh escaping you as you found your voice. “Yes,” you whispered, your voice full of emotion, then, louder, “Yes, Felix. Yes, I’ll marry you!”

A radiant smile spread across his face as he rose to his feet, and you threw your arms around him, holding him tightly as he slipped the ring onto your finger. You stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, feeling as if the world had stopped just for you, as if time itself wanted to savour this perfect moment.

In that quiet spot by the pond, as the first stars appeared in the sky above, you shared a gentle, lingering kiss—a kiss that promised a lifetime of memories still to be made, side by side.

As you sat down, wrapping your arms around each other, time seemed to slow, as if the whole universe was holding its breath to honour the moment you had just shared. The soft glow of the fading sunset bathed everything around you in warm, golden light, casting long shadows across the ground. The trees whispered in the breeze, their leaves rustling gently, as though nature itself was quietly celebrating their love.

Felix held you close, his cheek resting against the top of your head, the warmth of your body pressed against his. You sat in peaceful silence, the air between you filled with unspoken words. There was something so right, so completely perfect about this moment. It was as if you had circled back to where it all began—this very path where you’d walked together three years ago, sharing tentative smiles, shy glances, and stories of your lives. Now, you sat side by side in the stillness, your hearts beating together, knowing you had just created something even more special.

You leaned back slightly, your fingers gently tracing the edge of the ring on your finger, still overwhelmed by the beauty of what had just happened. You looked up at Felix, your eyes soft and filled with emotion. He gazed back at you with the same tenderness, the same love that had been there from the very beginning. There was no rush, no need to say anything else. In that quiet, sacred moment, you understood that you had just created another memory on this path—a memory to join all the others that had led you here, to this place where you had chosen to build your future together.

It was as if the entire evening had been a beautiful thread, weaving together your past, your present, and your future. The setting sun, now sinking below the horizon, cast its last rays over you, and you realised that this memory would too be one you carried in your hearts forever. Just like all the others—your first date, your first kiss, the moments of joy and challenges you had faced together—it would stay with you, a constant reminder of how far you had come and how deeply you loved each other.

Hi hiiii, 2nd fic kinda nervous. This wasn't the one I thought I was gonna post but I felt like the other one was taking too long to finish so I decided to just post this one for now :3 This one actually has a happy ending since I managed to break all your hearts last time 🥲 I hope you guys enjoy it!

#stray kids#bang chan#bang chan x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan x y/n#skz x reader#skz imagines#stray kids angst#bang chan angst#bang chan imagines#skz x female reader#skz fanfic#skz angst#chan x y/n#skz fic#stray kids x you#chan angst#chan fic#chan x female reader#chan x male reader#chan x g/n reader#skz x male reader

#stray kids #felix #felix fluff #felix x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #felix x y/n #stray kids x y/n #felix x gn reader #felix x female reader #felix x male reader #stray kids fanfic #skz imagines #skz #skz x reader #skz fluff #skz x you #stray kids x you #skz fic

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kkenma666 · 2 years ago

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(용복,승민) felix & seungmin.. 7 minutes in heaven

gn reader

...🐥(용복) felix!!

the scent of alcohol rubbed itself against both of your clothing. its smell lingered inside the cramped closet, making the air inside heavier than it already was.

a cough from felix finally cut the awkward silence, you immediately looked up at him in curiosity.

" so.. how're you yn? how's the party? " felix's deep voice rumbled in your chest just from how close the both of you are.

" i'm great— i mean um fine— i-i mean um.. "

just how did you get into this mess?

everyone sat down in a circle inside a random bedroom. the smell of alcohol heavy in the air.

it was a typical party with everyone being either full-on drunk or just sober.

your friends had dragged you upstairs into whoever's bedroom this was to play a game of seven minutes in heaven. you already being dragged upstairs had no other choice but to follow along.

your friends forcefully sat you down— the alcohol clearly doing numbers to their heads.

the other people around you quickly formed a circle, all of them excited to play said game.

" alright! you all know how the game works! so let's get started! " felix's deep voice announced right after everyone sat.

felix placed the empty beer bottle on the ground and finally spun it. everyone was visibly excited, not knowing where the bottle would land.

a string of cheers and oooh came after the bottle landed on felix himself. " sweet! " he enthusiastically spoke up.

the fact that it landed on felix only riled everyone up as they watched the bottle spin again, everyone silently hoping it'll land on them. the bottle finally stopped spinning as all eyes stared at it, their eyes trailing to see it stopped at.. you.

" oh shit felix, good luck! " his friends teased him, as people began pushing the two of you into the nearby closet.

you weren't exactly known to be friendly so the teasing from his friends was expected.

as soon as the door shut, the muffled sound of music and chattering seemed to disappear, leaving you and felix alone in an uncomfortable silence.

you looked everywhere inside the closet, taking close inspection of every piece of clothing inside it, silently judging the owner's taste just to not even look at felix.

felix on the other hand, has his eyes on you ever since the two of you entered the room. you couldn't tell if it was just a friendly stare or the opposite.

" ehem.. sorry if i'm making you uncomfortable or anything... " you croaked out while fidgeting with your fingers. felix's warm hands placed themselves on top of your fidgety one, calming you down a bit.

" relax, you're not making me uncomfortable. in fact, im scared i'm the one who's making you uncomfortable! " you laughed a bit at that, your shoulder relaxing a bit.

" you're funny. i bet other people out there are hoping that they could be in here with you instead. " felix hummed, his eyes not once leaving you.

his hands continued to tangle with yours, his hands warming your cold ones. " hm.. but i prefer being in here with you instead, yn. "

" huh? "

the door slammed open, the light outside blinding you and felix a little bit. " time's up—! ohoh what's this? " one of felix's friends noticed how the both of you were holding hands.

everyone else raised an eyebrow while felix simply pulled a blushing you out of the closet. " nothing! it's none of your business, jeremy. " felix sassily replied.

you quietly sat down next to your friends, them giggling and throwing looks at you and felix. " what's this yn? come on tell us what happened in there! "

you shook your head and replied how nothing happened while shyly smiling at felix, him mouthing to you to call him.

...🐶(승민) seungmin!!

quiet grumbles filled the silence in the air, seungmin obviously not happy that he had to get stuck with you inside this cramped closet.

you scratched your head, counting down the minutes till you can get out of the situation.

a sigh left your lips as you realised how slow time was moving in here.

just how did you get into this mess?

" c'mon, seungmin! just this once! " your classmates all tried to make seungmin join the game. he rolled his eyes and sighed, " fine fine! just this once. " he finally gave in.

since finals are over, your class decided to play some games to fill the free time you had.

today, all of you decided to spin the bottle and since you conveniently had a cleaning supplies closet, you all decided to turn it into seven minutes in heaven.

you and the rest cheered, seungmin sitting down across you in annoyance. " yn, why don't you spin first? " one of your classmates chimed in, the rest agreed since the bottle was in front of you.

" sure sure! here i go! " you spin the bottle first, excited to see who the bottle landed on.

your heart pounded in your chest as the bottle began to slow down near seungmin. you prayed that it wasn't him but seems like luck wasn't on your side that day.

" ooh no yn, good luck in there! " your classmates laughed at the both of you, you sitting there slightly blushing. seungmin on the other hand didn't look too happy.

" well rules are rules! " suddenly, your friends began pushing you and seungmin into the closet, you stumbling a bit into the closet. luckily you managed to catch yourself before embarrassing yourself in front of him.

the door slammed shut, your classmate's giggling voice slowly fading away. the closet itself was placed at the back of the class so you and seungmin had a bit of privacy.

you hesitantly looked up at seungmin, already starting to sweat from nervousness.

seungmin was looking away, his jawline instead facing you. his hands were buried deep into the pocket as a scowl decorated his lips.

you tried to back away a bit from him, attempting to create space between the two of you. unfortunately due to how small the closet is, you barely managed to make any difference.

you started to feel guilty for forcing him to join.

" ..sorry. " seungmin raised an eyebrow at you, deciding to finally look at you. " um.. i can tell you really don't want to be in here. we can just get out right now if you want. "

seungmin's features soften at your apology, him rubbing the back of his neck. " no it's fine. let's just wait. " you nodded at him, looking down at your shoes the whole time.

you once again tried to step away from him, opting to give him space. what you didn't see however was the piece of paper on the ground.

you slipped on said paper, hitting your head on a shelf. a loud thud filled the awkward silence, a bottle of windex falling on top of your head.

" ah—! ow.. " you whined, rubbing the top of your head. seungmin got closer to you, holding the top of your head, feeling for any bump.

" you okay? really, you're so clumsy, yn.. " seungmin lightly scolded you, patting the place where the windex fell. you blushed and let him do his thing, nodding when he asked whether you are okay or not.

you both stood in silence, seungmin's soft hand holding onto your head. " yn, i— "

suddenly, the door opened, shocking a blushing you and seungmin.

your classmates all stared with their mouths wide open, witnessing the kim seungmin patting you, at such close proximity too!

the both of you knew you were so fucked that day.

#tehhyunie writes!!#kpop x reader #skz x reader #skz x male reader #skz x gn reader #felix x reader #felix x gn reader #felix x male reader #seungmin x reader #seungmin x gn reader #seungmin x male rader

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thick-tatted-therapist · 11 months ago

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THIS IS ADORABLE, I love when people reference the fact that Felix tends to copy the movements of whoever he’s watching sometimes.

✧ curious ✧ .9k, g

you raise your head, eyes scanning along the bank on the opposite side. all you can see is a pair of beady eyes, and long pale fingers pressed onto a large tree branch that's resting on some rocks.

pairing: felix x gn!reader genre: fluff, magical/fairy!au warnings/other: felix is a water nymph/reader is human, it's like 2am and i just thought of this. it's self indulgent pls enjoy

little ripples bounce around the small pebbles rolling in the water, a fish or two swim past, weaving around the little plants growing at the bottom of the lake. it's not too deep, maybe just above your ankles.

a group of small blue fish enter your eyes as you venture further down the bank, pretty pearlescent green scales shining in the late night of the evening sun, their tails so small they'd be no bigger than your iris. gently, you press your hand into the water, trying your hardest not to disturb the fish. when you splay your fingers, the mud beneath is slightly disturbed, causing a few of the dish to swim away.

but one of the fish stays, slowly dancing in and out of your fingers. it stops on top of your hand, as if resting it's weary body from swimming all day. you decide not to disturb it and just enjoy what nature has gifted you.

further along, the water is disturbed, it somewhat sounds like a splash. you raise your gaze, eyes scanning along the bank on the opposite side. all you can see is a pair of beady eyes, and long pale fingers pressed onto a large tree branch that's resting on some rocks.

the boy doesn't blink, just stares back at you as he seems to be assessing what you're doing. you raise your neck, slightly turning your head to the side as if signalling you're curious about him too. he copies your actions, head turning the same direction as yours. one more time, you flop your head to the other side and he follows.

you bounce your head back and forth and he copies. this goes on for about ten seconds, but you stop as you begin to feel dizzy.

"ow." you say to yourself, raising your hand from the water to rub your temple. the boy across the water smiles, resting his chin on the branch.

within a split second, he jumps on top the fallen tree, legs flopping in front of himself as he lets them dangle. his feet are slightly webbed, and his hands too. when he turns his head to the side again, almost comically, a long pointy ear bounces out from his blonde hair, little silver trinkets dangling, maybe some small gems decorating his ear. you're not too sure, he's not close enough for you to see.

the boy smiles at you again as he wiggles his legs, his brown cotton shorts and shirt almost falling off of him. he's small, but not too short from what you can see.

ah, a water nymph, you realise. you've never seen one before. not this close. you realised you've ever actually heard one speak.

the boy nods to the river a few times, pointing to something. you follow his gesture. there's a another school of blue fish, seemingly gravitating towards him.

"you... want me to watch?" you ask, slowly dipping your bare feet into the water. he returns with an eager nod, pointing again at the fish.

the same group of small fish you saw prior look as if they're swimming towards him. they seem to happily oblige as he wiggles his fingers back and forth, the school of fish pooling at the other side of the bank. he looks up at you with a big grin on his face, pointy fangs pressing into his bottom lip.

"that's amazing!" you say in disbelief, trying your hardest not to disturb them.

slowly, you edge a bit forwards, now only about two metres away from him and the fish.

the nymph makes a cupping motion with both of his hands, instructing you to do as such.

"like this?" you ask, placing your hands together. he nods excitedly, gesturing for you to pick them up.

placing your cupped hands into the water, you wait for a moment. the nymph rubs two of his fingers together, his tongue sticking out to the side underneath one of his fangs. within a few moments, one of the fish swims into the palm of your hand and stills.

you gasp, trying your hardest not to move. but the boy doesn't mind, he seems to be enjoying your fascination with what he's doing.

"can i... lift it?" you ask, eyes feeling like they're going to pop out of your skull. the boy nods, jumping down from the branch to be at your level. he steps forwards and bends down, his soft webbed hands cupping your own. softly, he helps you raise them, the small fish swimming in little circles in the tiny pool you've made with your palms.

when you look up at the boy, he just smiles, those little fangs appearing again.

"it's so... pretty." you smile, watching the fish swim around. the nymph watches you intently, seemingly curious about your fascination with that he's doing.

"i wonder how they get so blue-"

"felix!" the nymph blurts out, pressing his face a bit too close to yours. you raise your brows turn to face him. he's no more than ten centimetres away.

he pushes his nose against yours, and pulls back. those big dark eyes wide and staring into your own, silly grin showing. "i'm felix."

idk what this is don't ask i lov felix

taglist: @l3visbby @daddyjoonchua @abcdefgiwsmcty @blankdyean

ANYWAYSSSSSSSSS

#felix x reader #felix x gn reader #felix x fem reader #felix x y/n #felix x m reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids fic #stray kids #skz fic #felix

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silverlakee · 3 months ago

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texts with bf!chan ♡.*•

• everyday texts with bf!chan

• mdni/suggestive

• there is a nude but it’s blurred

#skz smut #stray kids #skz fanfic #skz x reader #skz felix #stray kids fake texts #skz #skz au #skz fluff #skz texts #han jisung #bang chan #skz fake texts #skz smau #skz x y/n #skz x gn reader #skz x you

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banana-boatt · 3 months ago

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jealousy, jealousy- maknae line

-skz gets jealous over you but it’s so damn adorable

hyung line l masterlist

⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠

Han:

Felix:

Seungmin:

I.N

⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠⇢♥⇠

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viasdreams · 4 months ago

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⋆☀︎｡☀︎⋆

random texts you get while dating jilix !!

a/n: need them.

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skzficdump · 8 days ago

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The Night I Let You Go (And Couldn't Breathe After)

paring: bangchan x fem!reader

gender: angst, fluff, a fight before tour puts distance between you, and bangchan can’t stop thinking about you

word count: 1.5k (1507)

warnings: nun

You knew something was wrong. Even before he walked through the door that night, you could feel it.

Bang Chan had been drowning in work for weeks — rehearsals, late-night studio sessions, choreography clean-ups, last-minute meetings with the tour team. He barely texted. He barely ate. And when he did come home, his energy was like a ghost of him — tired eyes, slumped shoulders, and a quietness that didn’t suit the man you loved.

You weren’t mad at him. You were worried. But when people are overwhelmed, they push away the ones they love — and that’s exactly what Chan was doing to you.

That night, when he finally came home close to midnight, you were waiting on the couch. He kicked off his shoes and muttered a barely audible, “I’m home,” not even meeting your eyes.

You tried to keep your voice steady, calm. “Chan… can we talk?”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was stressed. “Y/N, not now. I’m exhausted.”

“I know you are,” you said gently, “but I can’t keep acting like everything’s okay when it’s not. You’re not okay. And we’re not okay either.”

That’s when his eyes finally met yours — tired, but slightly defensive.

“I’m doing everything I can. What else do you want from me?”

Ouch. That stung more than you thought it would.

“I’m not asking for more. I’m asking to be part of your life right now, even when it’s messy. You keep shutting me out, Chan.”

His jaw clenched, and he looked away. “I just… don’t have time for this. For drama.”

There it was — the word that made your chest ache. Drama. He didn’t mean it. You knew he didn’t. But it still hurt.

You didn’t scream. You didn’t cry. You just stood up and said, “Good luck on tour,” before walking toward your room.

You didn’t think that night would end like that. No one ever plans a goodbye to feel like a fracture. But somehow, you and Chan had broken in the worst possible way — quietly.

It wasn’t a screaming match, it wasn’t tears on the floor. It was exhaustion. Distance. The sharpness of silence when love wants to speak but pride gets in the way.

And he left the next morning without even looking back. No kiss. No message. Just… gone.

You didn’t know how much it would haunt him.

And just like that, the fight happened. Short, quiet, but sharp. And he left for the airport the next morning without saying goodbye.

He hated himself for it. The second his plane took off, he knew he messed up. He had a full tour schedule ahead of him, but his heart was stuck back in Seoul — in that quiet living room, with the look on your face when you closed the door behind you.

For the first few days of the North American tour, Chan went into “leader mode.” He buried himself in rehearsals. He kept smiling during interviews. He helped the younger members get through their jet lag and stage nerves.

But the second the lights went down and the crowd disappeared… it hit him.

You weren’t there.

You weren’t texting him "good luck" before the show. You weren’t calling him to remind him to eat. You weren’t there when he walked back into his hotel room, cold and empty and echoing too loud in the quiet.

And worst of all… He left when you were hurt. He left when he should’ve stayed. He left without fixing anything.

The first night, he told himself you both needed space. That once the tour settled, things would fall into place.

The second night, he couldn’t sleep. He stared at his phone for hours, typing messages he never sent:

I’m sorry. I messed up. Are you okay?

But he deleted all of them. Every time.

Because he didn’t know if you wanted to hear from him. He didn’t know if he deserved to.

Felix noticed first. The way Chan barely ate. How he stayed in the studio even after everyone else left. How he’d sit by the hotel window at 3 a.m., staring at nothing.

“Hyung,” Felix said gently one night, “you need to talk to her.”

Chan didn’t even look up. “She probably hates me.”

Felix shook his head. “She doesn’t. She’s hurt. That’s different.”

But Chan didn’t believe it. Not when your voice haunted him every time he tried to sleep.

“I just want to be part of your life… even when it’s messy.” “You keep shutting me out.”

You were right. You’d always been right. And now he was thousands of miles away from the one person who grounded him — who made all the chaos worth it.

He started seeing you everywhere.

Every time a fan gave him a plushie that reminded him of you. Every time he passed a street musician playing a song you loved. Every time he looked in the mirror and barely recognized the man looking back.

During the third show, when the lights dimmed before their final encore, he had a full second of panic.

You weren’t in the crowd.

You always tried to be, even when it was just as a little silhouette backstage or watching through a livestream. And now?

Gone. Because of him.

He finally broke down to Felix two nights later in the hotel room.

“I feel like there’s a hole in my chest,” he whispered, voice cracking. “I miss her so much it physically hurts.”

Felix handed him his phone.

“Then fix it. Before it’s too late.”

Chan stared at the screen… then shook his head.

“She deserves better. She deserves someone who doesn’t drag her through my storms.”

Felix smiled sadly. “She never asked for perfect skies. She asked to be there with you.”

What you didn’t know was that Chan had already started preparing a small surprise for you. Even before the fight. Just a little corner of his hotel room he wanted to decorate with your photo, your favorite snacks, and a note he planned to leave on your pillow for when you visited later in the tour.

But now the gifts stayed untouched, hidden in his suitcase. It was like they stared at him every night, reminding him of what he lost.

And you? You tried to go on with your days like normal, but everything felt off. Every time you saw a picture of him at the airport, or heard someone talking about the tour, your stomach twisted.

It wasn’t until Felix texted you two nights later that something shifted.

"Hey, Y/N. I know things are weird. But he’s not okay without you. Neither of you are. Please… come to LA. I’ll help you."

You didn’t even have to think twice. The next thing you knew, you were on a plane with your heart racing faster than the jet engines. Felix met you at the airport in a hoodie and mask, like some undercover angel, and helped sneak you into the hotel where the boys were staying.

Your hands were shaking when you reached Chan’s room.

“Don’t knock,” Felix whispered. “He’s expecting me.”

He slid the keycard into the door, opened it slightly, and gave you one last nod before disappearing down the hallway.

Inside, the lights were low — warm, soft. A candle was burning on the nightstand. And there he was. Sitting at the edge of the bed, looking like he hadn’t slept in days.

When he turned and saw you… Everything cracked.

“Y/N…?”

You didn’t say anything at first. Just ran into his arms. And he held you like he’d been drowning for days and you were the only breath he had left.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over into your shoulder. “I was stupid. I was stressed and scared and I pushed you away, and that’s the last thing I ever wanted to do.”

“I know,” you murmured. “I just wanted to be there for you. That’s all I ever wanted.”

He pulled back, eyes glassy. “I left without fixing it. I left when we were broken. I thought about you every second on that flight. Every second here. I was going to fly you out myself if Felix didn’t beat me to it.”

You both laughed a little through the tears.

Then he stood up and led you to the corner of the room where a tiny surprise was waiting: a little photo of you both framed on the table, next to your favorite snacks and a hand-written note.

“I miss home. And home is you.”

That night, you didn’t talk much more. You didn’t have to. You just lay curled up in bed together, his arms around you, his lips pressed to your hair as he finally — finally — slept like someone at peace.

And maybe things weren’t perfect. Maybe they never would be. But that night, in a quiet hotel room in a city far from home, you both found your way back to each other.

And that? That was everything.

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strayingawayy · 4 months ago

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brownie points...

...the one where felix sneaks his way into your heart through his brownies while you try to convince yourself that you hate him

truthfully speaking, it’s not that you disliked felix. it’s just that your tummy did this stupid, annoying flop every time he grinned at you. and you hated it.

not felix, of course. just... the feeling. the way your heart did acrobatics whenever he offered you a brownie with that ridiculously soft smile of his.

and now, at the group’s annual christmas party, surrounded by twinkling lights and far too much holiday cheer, he’s standing in front of you again. holding out a brownie.

“no,” you say flatly, crossing your arms. “i’m onto you, lee. you’re trying to make me fall in love with you via baked goods, and i refuse.”

felix blinks, then grins. fucking grins and your stomach does that awful thing again. “who says i’m trying?” he asks, wiggling the brownie temptingly. “maybe i just want to see you happy.”

“ugh,” you groan, grabbing the brownie begrudgingly. “you’re insufferable.”

“and yet,” he says, leaning in just a little too close, “you’re still here.”

you open your mouth to retort, but then-

“mwah mwah,” someone chants behind you, and you turn to see minho pointing at something above your head. mistletoe.

your brain short-circuits. “who even put that there?!”

felix looks entirely too pleased. “holiday rules, sweetheart .mistletoe means-”

“don’t say it.”

“-a kiss.”

you glare at him, heart pounding. “this is stupid.”

“yep,” he agrees, way too cheerfully.

“and i hate this.”

“sure you do.”

felix’s eyes are twinkling mischievously, and before you can talk yourself out of it, you lean in and press the quickest, most no-nonsense kiss to his cheek.

when you pull back, his face is redder than the holiday decorations, and suddenly, the brownie in your hand doesn’t seem so bad.

“…so,” he says after a beat, clearing his throat. “same time next year?”

you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. “shut up and give me another brownie.”

"or maybe another kiss?"

"are you trying to meet god?"

666 notes · View notes

justwonder113 · 4 months ago

Text

Sharing a bed with Felix

Part two here

Chan; Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

My Masterlist

Summary: What happens when you're having a panic attack in the middle of the library and the one to reach out for you and help you is actually a someone you kind of hate?

Warning: NOT PROOFREAD! (literally I can not stress this enough); cursing as always. The reader is gender neutral. The reader thinks Felix is fake and doesn't trust them. GRAPHIC DESCRIBTIONS OF A PANIC ATTACK AND SELFHATE. Reader struggles with procrastination.

A/N- this is more platonic fic than romantic, but I will write a part two of this which will actually be romantic and more appropriate for the series name. I hope you'll like it. Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated^^

Word count- 3.9k

If you like my work you can buy me coffee🩷

You hated this. You hated how you had no control. You hated how everything slipped through your fingers. You hated how you always knew better but still always ended up making the same damn mistake. God you hated how you were stuck in this damn loop. How you had to deal with the same shit over and over again. You hated how only you were the to blame for it. You hated how you were having one of the most horrible mental breakdowns you have ever had now when you should be studying! You hated how you had almost no time to study. You hated how it was all your fault. You hated how you procrastinated doing your damn job till last minute as always. You hated how even your laptop stared at you, mocking you, reminding you how imperfect you were. God you really hated this.

Angrily wiping your tears, you tried to resume reading with keyword being trying. Your vision was so blurry you couldn’t even decipher a word, which frustrated you even further. You should have started studying earlier! Not just cram everything into your brain when the exam was literally two days away.

Why did you have to be this way? Why couldn’t you just be normal? Why did you always have to learn the hard way? Why couldn’t you learn from your mistakes? You knew you were better than that. You knew that you could be so much more. Why were you the one holding you back? Why couldn’t you get over yourself? Why couldn’t you just learn your lesson?

Taking a deep breath you started to read the sentence again. You have probably read this damn paragraph 15 times already, still you had no clue what was written there. Why couldn’t you just focus? You didn’t have time to waste damn it!

God this was so frustrating. You could hate yourself and how you functioned any time later, you would have all the time for it. Not now! This was just not the time!

Why was the screen so damn blurry! You couldn’t see shit like this! It was as if your vision line was getting narrower and narrower. Your heart clenched in pain as you took shallow breaths. You looked at your empty water bottle. You needed some water. Surely it would help you.

Standing up, your legs felt a little wobbly but you decided to push through it.

You needed to drink some water.

You were just panicking before an exam.

Nothing special.

Nothing to fret about.

You just needed to calm down.

Yes.

You just needed to drink some water.

Unable to walk more than two steps you crouched down. Your whole body felt like it was being crushed by something unimaginably heavy from every side. Like the room itself was closing in on you. You could hear muffled sounds coming from all around you but it was like you were in whole another universe.

You clutched your chest, your heart felt like it would burst any second now, you felt your own heartbeat in every part of your body beating so rapidly, you felt like giant drums were beating in your temples.

You didn’t know how to describe this but it was almost like your life was flashing before your eyes. If it was actually so, weren’t you supposed to see the best parts of your life? Some good memories, you would gladly relive again and again. Why were you seeing every moment of your life where you felt like an absolute failure. All the moments where you just simply hated yourself and your ways. And to make it worse every memory, every flashback felt like a stab to your heart. Like it was a physical reminder of how much you had failed in your life, how much of a failure you were.

Tears burned your eyes as you tried your best to hold them in, but quickly enough one of them escaped, quickly followed by another and soon enough you were crying uncontrollably. Your body trembling uncontrollably.

You hated this. You wanted this to stop. You needed to control yourself. This was no time and place to have a breakdown like this. You were afraid. You were terrified. You needed this to stop. You needed something to hold on to. Someone to hold you. You wanted to feel like you were not alone. Something, just something to gasp on to. You were afraid. So afraid…

“Here drink this.” You heard soft but deep voice and a gentle touch on your shoulder. You knew this voice.

Felix looked at you with furrowed eyebrows as he held in a water bottle for you as he kneeled down next to you.

Not feeling like the protesting you accepted it. Forcing yourself you took a few gulps. The cool water was refreshing.

“Drink some more, you will feel better.” Felix gently encouraged you.

You took few more gulps. You felt like throwing up but still forced yourself to drink it. Coldness of the water was actually somewhat helping you.

“That’s it, good job. You will be fine okay?” You heard Felix say. “You will get through this okay? I’m with you.” His voice was so kind, so gentle.

Wanting, no, needing something to anchor you down you grabbed onto his hand that he had on his knee. Without saying anything Felix interwened your fingers and held you just as tight as you were holding onto him.

“Breathe with me okay?” Felix encouraged you and started breathing deeply as if to guide you. Why was he even kind to you? You always made sure to avoid him and to just treat him coldly whenever you interreacted. He had no reason to help you.

As you tried to mirror him and take deep breaths memories of how coldly you treated him coldly flashed before you. As if you weren’t already feeling shitty enough you got hit by a wave of shame. Your inability to trust people had nothing to do with him. Whole reason you didn’t vibe with him and brushed him off whenever he tried to talk to you and get closer to you was because you just couldn’y believe a person could be this warm and kind. It just looked impossible to you. You always thought he was hiding something, that this was all just an act, that he was just deceiving everyone, so you kept your distance. And here you were now accepting help from him, clinging to him all pathetically. You just couldn’t control yourself, the only anchor for you right now was Felix. You actually felt like you could die if you let go of him.

Another wave of fresh tears covered your face, god you felt so bad that you were mean to him. “I’m sorry, I am so sorry!” You could hear yourself vail, but it was as if your own voice didn’t belong to you, it was as if it belong to someone else entirely.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about okay? This happens sometimes, I got you, you will get through it okay?” He gave you such a kind smile. You never really had noticed how beautiful he actually looked. Looking him like this, you could swear you could see a halo around him. God you had been so blind.

“No, no. I am sorry!” You took a deep breath. “I’ve been such a dick to you, you didn’t deserve that.” You sobbed out finally, clutching tightly onto him.

Felix looked at you for a second. “Okay I know now is not the time but since you’re the one who started talking about it…” Felix paused for a second looking unsure. “Why do you hate me?”

Hate him? No you could never hate him. He had nothing for you to hate him.

“I don’t hate you.”- you shook your head.

“Then why are you cold towards me? You’re so kind with everyone else.” Felix looked genuinely curious.

You shook your head again. You were feeling a bit more calm now but the fresh wave of embarrassment made you take a few steps back. You covered your face with your hands. “This is embarrassing.”

You felt Felix gently pat your shoulder. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me.”

You sat in the silence for a minute or two. Felix never stopped patting your back gently, he also didn’t let go of your hand. You felt at peace with him, which is why it made you feel even more bad to hide the truth from him.

God you were acting so immature. You took a deep breath to give yourself more courage. “No, you deserve an explanation.” Pausing for a second you took another deep breath. “It’s just I have hard time trusting people. And seeing how you were always this ball of sunshine, how no one had anything bad to say about you and how everyone just loved you I thought that you were not a genuine person. I thougth that you were fake acting all sweet and kind. I just, I don’t know, I tend to avoid people I don’t or can’t trust. I should have been more civil about it though, or at least I should have given you a chance. I regret my decisions now, so I am sorry.”

The silence fell. God he must have thought you were dumb for hating him for such idiotic reason. It was quite ridiculous though, you realized that once you said it out loud.

The silence was soon overtaken by booming sound of his laughter. His whole body was shaking as he laughed wholeheartedly.

“Wait you’re telling me that you acted this way because you thought that I couldn’t just be kind and sweet so I had to be faking it?” He sounded like he couldn’t believe his ears. You didn’t expect this type of reaction but as long as he wasn’t mad or sad or anything similar?

“I know it’s ridiculous!” God you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

Felix wiped his tear, his eyes shining on the dim light of the library. “It is. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.” He looked at you for a second, his eyes full of mischief. ”It is quite cute though.” Seeing your head whip at him in shock Felix chuckled again. “I thought all this time that I made you upset about something! You know what I’m glad this is just a misunderstanding.”

“I feel embarrassed. This is so stupid!” You hid your face again.

“I mean it is silly but this could have happened to anyone. It’s no big deal really. Tell you this!” Felix let go of your hand and stood up. He held in his hand in front of you smiling sweetly. “Hey my name is Lee Yongbok Felix, I think you’re really cool want to be friends?”

You couldn’t really believe your ears. “Are you for real?”

“Oh definetly! I have had a friend crush on you since forever!”

“What’s a friend crush?”

“Oh you know like when you have a crush on someone you’re like want them to be your partner right? Well when you have a friend crush you’re like damn I want to be that person’s friend so bad!”

“So you’re saying you looked at me and thought damn I want to be that person’s friend so bad?”

“Yes.Pretty much so.”

“Damn I was right you’re not all that perfect! You’re actually quite crazy.”

“Meh who isn’t a bit mental. You were just having a panic attack for starters. By the way I’m glad you’re back to your senses.”

“Oh yeah, thanks. Also, foul joke.” To make your point across you glared at him

Felix grinned. “Get used to it, some say I’m quite a menace. So do you wanna be my friend?” He asked as if he didn’t just admit he was annoying.

God this was so unserious. “Yeah sure. I do!”

“Great! Now get up, let’s eat something. I’m starving!” Was he actually shining? The dude was maybe literal walking sunshine.

“You are quite straightforward.”

“You should also get used to that. Also the fact that I’m amazing! I just happened to order some takeout! I was about to tell you when I saw you on the floor.” God You couldn’t believe you just had a panic attack in the middle of library.

“Are we even allowed to eat in library?” You asked once you actually realized Felix said he had takeout.

Felix’s laugh was something of gremlins. “No, but lucky for us there’s no one to tell us anything.” – He sounded so proud it actually made you smile. But something was off what did he mean there was no one to tell you anything.

“Wait what do you mean?” What time even was it?

“It’s almost twelve. The library is closed.” You looked around, you two really were only ones around. You really outdid yourself huh.

“Wait we’re stuck here?” That was quite something to manage to do.

“Well no, because I have a key of this place.” Felix took them out of his hoodie pocket to show you large set of keys.

“How do you have a key to this place?”

“My friend works here, he was about to close up and wanted to let you know that you should go but you seemed so immersed in your work I told him that he should let you be. He gave me the key to close up. He lives nearby so I can give him keys later.”

“Why did you wait for me? Don’t you have to go home? You should have told me to wrap my shit up and go.” You really wondered what was reasoning behind his action.

“Now this is embarrassing.” Felix muttered, looking shy all of a sudden. He couldn’t even hold your gaze.

“Felix?”

“I got here because I love how quiet and peaceful it is here, Seungmin had been yapping about this book and I finally had the time to read it. I saw that you were here. I even thought I would come to say hi but you seemed immersed in your study. Then hours passed and you didn’t even get up and I got worried. My friend told me that he had to close up soon and before I even knew it I was asking him for his keys and promising I would lock up. I then ordered some takeout because you hadn’t eaten anything and I remembered how you were recommending this place to Minho earlier. So the food got here I got it, I was about to tell you to stop eating and then I saw that you were crying and well here we are now. I am yapping aren’t I? Does this make me sound like a stalker? I just wanted to do something nice.” Felix talked so fast you were amazed how he even managed to breathe between the words.

Trying to calm him down you placed your hands on Felix’s shoulder. “Thank you, for thinking about me. I don’t think you’re a stalker. I won’t say anything like that while you have the keys to this place and food! I have to be on your good side now more than ever don’t I?”

“You’re quite something huh.” - Felix groaned out, but he looked amused.

“Hey you’re the one crushing on me.” You couldn’t help yourself but tease.

“Okay I said friend crush!” Felix tried to defend himself but you didn’t let him.

“Tomato tomato, same shit.” It somewhat weirded you out for a second how comfortable you got with him this quickly but somehow you didn’t really mind.

“It’s not!” Felix pouted. Damn you sure like to tease.”

“You should get used to it. Also to the fact that I’m freaking awesome.” Before you could even realize you were smiling, without a care in the world. Like minutes ago you weren’t feeling like you were at your all time lowest.

“Come on oh the awesome one, let’s eat before the food get’s cold.”

The food was actually just what you needed. It immediately brough you sense of comfort. It was kind of funny, both of you were so hungry apparently that none of you said a word as you ate. The silence was comforting. It wasn’t the kind where one of you had to force yourselves to talk. It wasn’t suffocating. It felt just right.

“Are you feeling better?” Felix asked after a while.

Taking a deep breath you nodded. You should have known he would ask something eventually. “I am feeling better. I don’t know what came over me earlier.” God you felt embarrassed talking and overall recalling how you had a panic attack in the library. Thank god it was only you and Felix here and no one else saw this whole shitshow.

“You don’t have to talk about it, but I want you to know I’m here if you need someone to talk to okay?” Felix sounded so sincere, it really tugged on your heartstrings.

“I appreciate it.” – you said it and you actually meant it. It was good to hear that there was someone rooting for you and telling you could lean on them. But you still felt bad. “Sorry for misjudging you.”

“We’re good.” Felix smiled gently and turned towards you. “What do you think about getting something tasty later?” -His voice was cheerful and kind. How did he even manage to be so outgoing and welcoming? It was really beyond you. It did intrigue you. You were sure you could learn much from him.

“We just ate though, are you still hungry?” He sure had an appetite huh.

Felix chuckled and shook his head. “No no, I’m not hungry. I am suggesting you pick somewhere you want to go, or something specific you want to eat, so when you nail your exam we will have plans for our friend date along with a cause.” God he was ridiculous. He said it like it was such a matter of fact you couldn’t help but mirror his smile. But it still stung inside. Would you nail that exam though? You would be lucky if you didn’t fail.

“Hey stop that!” Felix’s voice brought you back to reality. Felix looked at you sternly. “You will do great on that exam. I am sure of it. Even if you don’t that’s not an end of the world. You can always retake it. BUT I am hundred percent sure you will do great.”

“I’m not sure Felix. I really slacked off. I should have started studying earlier. I don’t know if I will manage to go over all of the material in time. God it is stressing me so much! I really should get back to studying!” God you wasted so much time. How could you be reckless. You didn’t have time to waste. Every minute counted.

“No way! You need to rest!” Felix protested but you shook your head.

“I don’t have time to rest Felix.”

“Listen, there’s no way you can efficiently study without letting your brain rest once in a while. You spent hours studying. And I got here late, god knows how much time you spent with your laptop before I got here. You should get some sleep.” You hated how he was right. But even if you went to rest you weren’t sure if it even would you sleep.

You tried to say something but Felix didn’t let you. “No! You’re going home. I have to close up the library anyways!”

“Oh now you have to close up.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

Felix grinned triumphantly. “Convenient isn’t it?”

“Look at him having power of having library keys go up his head! You’re blinded by power Felix!” You grumbled as you walked towards your stuff. You could hear Felix laugh as he also gathered everything.

“More so, you should come with so I won’t do something drastic. You should control me.” Felix yelled over from over the other side of the room.

“Now that power will surely go over my head but since you’re asking me so nicely…”

“You’re a menace you know that right?”

“Proud one too.” Maybe you really should get some rest and resume in the morning.

***

You were woken up by a sound of buzzing. When did you even fall asleep? God you didn’t want to get up you felt so cozy. Why was waking up especially hard when you had to get up! Damn life was unfair sometimes.

You didn’t even remember how you got home. Or how you got to sleep.

Felix insisted to walk you home, because it was late. You invited him inside for a drink. You talked for a while. And then… That was blank.

Another buzz from a phone and your pillow shifted.

Well that was weird. Why did your pillow move? You sure as hell didn’t. Not to be dramatic but you would rather die right now than move.

“God, what time is it?” Sound of a groggy male voice sent shivers down your spine and not the good kind.

What the fuck?

You quickly got up to see that your pillow was actually Felix’s thigh. Felix looked just as confused as you were. You two were in your house, laying on your sofa. You were whining how you weren’t sure you would even be able to rest and you fell asleep on top of Felix? Damn you sure were something else.

“Felix?”

“That’s me?”

An awkward silence fell. You felt awkward, you had actually no idea what to do or to say.

“I guess we fell asleep.” Felix awkwardly chuckled. “I’m sorry for invading your privacy like this. I should have left the moment I made sure you got home safe.” Felix muttered sheepishly. He looked kind of cute with his hair sticking around in every direction, and him looking a bit dazed. You weren’t even going to talk about how hot his voice sounded. Was it weird to feel attracted to a friend you technically just made? He was objectively beautiful though, so maybe you weren’t in the wrong to appreciate his beauty. And your mind was spiraling again.

“No!” You quickly gathered yourself. “No, no. You did nothing wrong. I was the one who literally slept on you so I should be saying sorry.”

Felix quickly shook his head, looking defensive. “No, you don’t have to say sorry. I don’t mind physical touch. I’m quite clingy with my friends and since I consider you my friend I don’t mind it at all! I don’t want YOU to be uncomfortable.” God he was cute. You could barely restrain yourself from smiling.

“Actually, it was one of the few times I actually slept like a baby so maybe I should thank you instead. I really needed that rest, I feel refreshed.”

Felix grinned and for a second he really looked like a cat.“Told ya so.”

“Okay don’t get ahead of yourself now!” You scolded as you watched him chuckle. He was quite ridiculous and somewhat even weird but you actually looked quite forward to being friends with him.

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