#ffamran writes stuff

[ffamranxii]

Chapter Nine is up!

If you like this work, please reblog, not like, to share with the community!

[ffamranxii]

Not gonna lie, putting my writing out there was - and still is - terrifying. I do not like to let people see my stuff. It’s so terrifying in fact that my AO3 name is unrelated to any other blog/insta/twitter/whatever that I have.

Add to that, that I received very little praise and validation growing up, and in my adult life literally get none at all - that the only time people deign me worth their time is to insult me, or my thinking, or my pastimes (and THAT is a whole other thing we won’t unpack here), and suddenly posting fanfiction is this huge anxiety-ridden issue that has me frantically refreshing the page to see if anyone’s liked it or even read it.

I LIVE off comments. They literally make my entire day. The second I go on AO3 and see any number higher than 0 on my stuff, I am giddy and excited and so unbelievably happy. My irl might be a shitshow, but SOMEONE on the internet saw something I did, and liked it so much they had to tell me about it, and it gives me the warm fuzzies every time.

Before I started writing my own fanfiction, I never really commented or bookmarked or even gave kudos. I just didn’t see it as a big deal, and I didn’t think authors would care what I had to say about their writing.

It was only when I started writing on my own that I realized how much outside validation encourages a writer, an artist, or a creator of any sort. Not an exaggeration, it makes my entire day when someone comments on my writing. Even if it’s something as small as “I loved the way you write this character!” Any little bit of praise is so important.

And I think a lot of non-creators don’t really see this until they start creating themselves. If you don’t produce content for your fandom that’s totally fine— I didn’t for years. But if even a few more people who don’t create encourage creators through comments, suggestions, praise, and more, it will really motivate us to make more of the content you like. On platforms like tumblr and ao3, feedback is crucial for creation to occur.

So don’t be scared to comment something on a fic you love, or a piece of art you think is beautiful! I guarantee that the creator will be extremely happy about it 🥰

[zofmoesia]

Reunited At Last [Excerpt]

For @tricksterbxtch​ and another friend. Based off an AU idea where Tim reunites my OC (Jack’s ex) with Jack post TPS as he needs help with Jack. Notes: Ffamran and Astrid are my OC’s, Nem is Asi’s. Characterizations for Tim and Jack are based off RP with tagged individuals. This is an excerpt of what’s going to be...much longer. Since I plan on adding some stuff before to set it all up and more later. If you don’t like OC/Canon shipping, don’t read.

Timothy Lawrence made a hushing sound as he bounced the infant in his arms, his anxiety growing the longer the baby’s father was gone. He looked from the baby to the door to the penthouse, swallowing hard as he tried to get the baby to calm. 

Calm down, she can tell you’re anxious. At least, that’s what Ffamran had told him, but it was hard to be calm with a baby screaming in your ear. Strange environment, strange people, he didn’t blame the kid for being upset. Though this was far from what he’d expected when he contacted the assassin for help. 

Jack refused to let Tim touch him, or even near him really, and that wound on his face needed looking at. It didn’t help that the man had taken to wearing a mask which couldn’t be good for the entire healing process. 

He’d heard the name Ffamran mentioned one night, when the man was deep in a night terror. Cried out as a sob wracked through the man, what he hadn’t expected to find when he hacked into Jack’s database was to find an ex Lance Assassin. Namely an assassin who was Jack’s ex boyfriend. 

Convincing Ffamran to come up to Helios was the hard part, as he was adamantly against it. It took confessing the night terror and that Jack wouldn’t let anyone touch him to have the Assassin relent, and reveal to him the reason he had stayed away:

They had a child together, Astrid, and Jack didn’t know. She was what had kept Ffamran from returning to Helios during the invasion to assist against DAHL. 

“You’re just a bucket full of trouble, aren’t you?” Tim pouted, the infant finally ceasing in her screaming to stare at the double with big eyes that were much like her Papa’s. 

The doors to the penthouse then opened, and Tim readied himself to greet Ffamran, wanting to tell him how Astrid wouldn’t stop crying. He hadn’t expected Jack to come walking through, looking tired. Jack stared at him, then at the kid, brows furrowed with confusion before; "where'd you get the kid?"

"Uh—ahaha, hey Jack, meet Astrid. Her parent is just out getting some stuff." Dodge the details, don’t let him know just who is here. It’s not for him to tell after all, though they’ll likely bump into each other soon…

"Who's kid is she?"

Of course he had to ask that. "Don't know if I can tell you that, it's not my place to share that info..."

"What, she one of my exes kids?" Silence was the only answer he could give, which seemed to be enough for Jack. "No."

"Look, I know how this looks—"

"Who?"

"He—"

"Ffamran?" Fuck, of course Jack would figure it out with a simple pronoun. “He’s been pregnant on Pandora this entire time?” Shit, he looked hysterical, though it wasn’t like there was anything Tim could do as Jack didn’t let the double touch him. Meanwhile Astrid was watching Jack quietly, and reached out with one hand to touch the man, little fingers grasping at nothing.

Before he could answer, resettling Astrid in his arms, the door opened again. “Sorry Tim, they’re still cleaning things up after the attack so I had to order some things in—”

The assassin stopped in his steps, nearly dropping what he did have as his eyes focused on the back of the man before him. Someone who was very much not Tim as he could see the double just beyond the form before him. He gaped as the man turned, familiar eyes focusing on the assassin, and it took everything for him not to break down at the sight of the mask.

"When were you going to tell me??"

Well that was enough to ruin the moment, Ffamran scowled, looking around Jack at the double. "Seriously Tim?! You told him?"

"Don't change the subject!"

“I didn’t tell him, he coaxed it out of me!”

“That’s not how it happened, and you know it, now one of you better tell me—”

Instead, much to Timothy’s surprise, the assassin set his bags down and approached Jack, pulling off the man’s mask to look over the wound.

"...How are you able to do that without being killed?"

"Trust. He knows I'd die before hurting him. Physically at least."

That earned Ffamran a grunt from the man before him, “Kitten, you're changing the subject again so—"

"Astrid is our kid, you forgot the condom one time, she's why I didn't make it during the DAHL invasion.” A quick summary of the explanation that had been given to Tim when he found the assassin. “Oh, but I did hear about what happened and left Lilith a present."

“Present?” Jack frowned, looking from Ffamran to Tim. At least he tried to, but the assassin held his face in place, thumb brushing over the bottom edge of the mark.

“He carved the vault symbol into her face with a knife. I believe he also destroyed some of Sanctuary’s security systems.” Came a low, melodic voice, seemingly from nowhere as a woman manifested from the shadows, cloaked in darkness. “A foolish suicide mission, which I tried to talk him out of but he would have none of it.”

“Hi Nem.” Tim waved as Astrid tried to reach out toward the siren who approached the pair with her head held high. She made no sound as she walked, as if she were gliding on air.

A scowl marred Ffamran’s features as he tried to hold Jack. The panic at a siren suddenly appearing was obvious in how tense the man was. His hands moved from the man’s face to his waist, sighing long and deep as he passed Nemesi an unimpressed look, “a little warning next time.” A shrug was given in answer as she took the infant from Timothy, one finger wiggling in the girl’s face, taken eagerly by pudgy hands.

It was then that Jack seemed to realize just what the siren had said, his face lighting up with joy at the news, “that’s my boy!” The assassin couldn’t help but blush at the praise he received, almost yelping as Jack pulled him into a hug. “Wait, so you went into Sanctuary and fucked up their security? And you carved her face? Man I wish I could have seen that, I bet the look on Lilith’s face was worth it—but wait, what about the kid?”

“Nemesi was watching over her for me—and I told her if anything happened to me to make sure Astrid was brought to you.”

[joulethieves]

would you happen to have a balvaan drabble or stellazzio crumb to throw our way? I miss your writing so much 🥺🥺🥺

This ask was sent to me like, weeks ago, and I heard “Stellazzio” and blacked out. Oops.

100 pages, 50k, barely halfway done and I haven’t touched it in three years. I think of her every day.

Here’s a scene from later in the story, where Balthier runs into Penelo in Archades. Earlier that day, Vaan got into a fight with a nobleman over a Dalmascan slur he shouted at her, and it nearly blew their cover.

"You know, Archades isn't so bad. It's bigger than I ever imagined. And so beautiful." A nervous laugh follows. "I guess I always imagined it as this looming cloud that pushed through anything in its way."

Over the short distance of the table, Balthier's eyes flicker. "You aren't far off. Don't let yourself be swayed. You are not the first to fall for the charm of it. The Empire is beautiful, but that's all veneer."

"Vaan told me, you know. About what you used to be."

Damnable Dalmascans. Can’t keep their mouths shut, or in Vaan’s case, off his own.

Did he tell you he kissed me plum on the mouth just last night without so much as a warning? Balthier wonders. But no - Penelo is a forthright girl. If Vaan had told her of that, it likely would have been one of the first few things out of her mouth. He holds her gaze across the table, tilting his chin so that a shadow crosses his eyes.

"Best keep quiet about that here," he says lowly, a thread of warning in his voice. Penelo, thank the Gods, is nothing like Vaan, and needn't be told twice. She nods her head in dissent, and adds quietly.

"Do you ever miss it?"

"No."

The answer is as reflexive as breathing. Penelo dares to pin him with a look of suspicion. "Really? You never get homesick?"

She thinks she is being clever, and it’s high time to clear it up. In any other case, she would be. Here, she oversteps.

"Home," Balthier intones tersely, "is sitting in Rabanastre's aerodome still under the knife after the machinations of this very city nearly blasted it out of the sky for good." He misses Her, suddenly; a swiftness that punches him straight in the gut. Now, more than ever, he is Homesick.

There is a swift desire to curl up on his velvet green chair and thumb through the tattered well-loved novels of his private collection and breathe in the smell of oil and leather, and hear the song of her skystone hum. But only Fran knows that sentiment. He does not deign to share it with anyone but his partner; only she would know a desire so visceral as that.

Penelo, wisely, does not pry further on the matter. "Point taken," she relents, and busies herself by nibbling on a roll. "So when are you going to teach Vaan to fly it?"

Balthier outright laughs. "Since when am I anyone's teacher?"

Penelo isn't impressed, and at this point, his charade is a tired tune on his own ears. She doesn't even humor him, which leads Balthier into a shrug. "... When he behaves himself. Little chit nearly cost us our cover today. Best not rouse him anymore than he already is. As much as he's grown, he still has that temper, I see."

"So you've noticed." Penelo rests her chin on her hand, and pins Balthier with her gaze. "That he's grown, I mean." 

Ah, and there she is, clever again. This time, not so far off. 

She chuckles. "Not sure he'll ever grow out of his temper, though...He's always been protective of me. He's--" she struggles for words here. "He's always fighting everyone's battles. Mine. Tomaj's. Kytes'. Filo's. Even--even Migelo's, when Imperials threatened to close down the shop because it wasn't up to standard." She munches on a bread roll thoughtfully, still avoiding the whiskey. "Sometimes I wonder how he does it. He'd make a good apprentice. I know--I know he gets mad, and frustrated easily, and you both bicker like there's no tomorrow. But I think," she wrings her hands on a linen, rumpling it into a fine mess, "I think he'd really surprise you."

Balthier suppresses a laugh. If only she knew just how much Vaan has the damnable capacity to surprise him. His lips still tingle when he thinks of it.

Regardless, he heeds Penelo’s words, and with some regret he realizes this is the first time he’s shared a one on one conversation with her since this journey began. Forthcoming, brave, loyal; she is everything Dalmasca is, and everything Archades would surely eat alive. 

He wonders if she’d let it. 

She truly must be Vaan’s best friend, then, if she’s advocating for his guidance in their first and only moment he can recall he's ever shared with her. That kind of loyalty is not found in many folks of his ilk. Trust weighs more than gold, and in his line of work, it is more rare than any treasure. 

And then there’s Vaan himself: the street-smart brat, plucky and lacking in all tact, who he found rifling through treasure with grimy hands; the boy who took Addrammalech without flinching; the boy who marched through Eruyt and demanded in the ancient copse where Mjrn had gone. He thinks of the boy who started with a measly Cure in the Bhujerban mines, growing to bring back the dead themselves on Omisace, to saving his own hide in Nabudis.

Most of all though, he thinks of a boy who, after all of that, kissed him on the mouth last night without so much as a warning.

And to all of that, Balthier lifts his glass.

"My dear Penelo, at this point in our journey, I don't think he'd manage to surprise me at all."

Their plates arrive, and they eat in evident relish until the dishes are picked clean and they are happy and full. Penelo pats at her mouth with a linen, and clears her throat.

"Don't tell Vaan you found me here."

Penelo's request is quiet across the table. 

"Your secret is safe with me," he assures softly. The restaurant is nearly empty, though this doesn't surprise him. Few know of this little gem. “Say, Vaan sent me out on an errand for him, as it were. I'm to find him some supper to bring back." Balthier plucks the menu from its perch and hands it back to Penelo. "Find something on there that he likes."

Penelo peruses the menu under the dim candlelight. "This," she points to it, and hands it over to Balthier. "The curry. He loves that stuff. Tomaj would have it on the menu back at home. Just make sure it's--"

"Spicy," Balthier interrupts, before flashing Penelo a smile. "I know."

They share a small chocolate lava cake for dessert, and when Penelo still hasn't touched her whiskey, bless the girl, Balthier plucks it from her side of the table and downs it in one go. She seems grateful for the excuse not to oblige. 

He'll be needing that for the night ahead if he hopes to sleep in the city where Ffamran is buried.

[salmalin]

#Vayne is touring and Larsa is a little rich boy who loves his brother#not knowing that the band is also committing crimes against humanity#and also money laundering#I would write the lyrics#I would go way too far#Vaan would be in a hard crustpunk band from Dalmasca#he would play tambourine and sing#you cannot change my mind#Ffamran's stage name is Balthier#He used to be in a nazi-faux-punk band but then realized he was a twat#threw away that life and became a better man#Now he runs scams up and down the coast ripping off rich people#They all live their separate lives until they meet Ashelia Dalmasca#who was scammed out of the rights to her father's music by Vayne's father#who happens to own his label#aldjflakjdojaeoirtjgio#i need to STOP#they would team up and create this weird punk band and tour#trying to get the eyes of the company#building a reputation and connections and practicing like hell#so they could get a chance to get into the label company#and fucking torch it#that's it#that's the climax#they set Empire Records on fire#ACTUALLY I CHANGED MY MIND A BIT#Ashe's father's label has a hostile takeover by Vayne's father's label at Vayne's request#he wants to use her father's lyrics and stuff in his music#which is making some shitty statements in the name of free speech#he's ultimately doing this because he wants people to think critically of media

So. I have apparently found the tag limit.

The story, which is evolving in my mind, would consist of:

Vayne embezzling money from his father to stage a semi-hostile takeover of Rabanastre Records after it is “financially ruined by Basch Ronsenburg”, a producing company that Ashelia Dalmasca has been left with after the death of her entire family.

That recording company was supporting the entire city of Rabanastre, and its loss creates a food desert. Ashe tries to go touring to make up the difference and bring money back home, only to find a cease and desist letter from Empire Records because they literally own her music, now.

People are moving from Rabanastre en-mass. The loss of funding has also resulted in their infrastructure shutting down, and people are soon either forced to sell or trapped in their houses because it’s illegal to sell a house without running water. They are unable to leave, and cannot afford to stay, so a few people even die in their homes.

Even the cops give up on their jobs because you cannot govern what is ungovernable.

Straight up self-sustained commune. People take care of each other because the government Will Not. There’s no running water so they rig something up to a lake.

But then Gramis starts building shit in town and the lake gets poisoned from construction bullshit.

Shit gets bad.

Ashe starts a whole new band without their influence with a ragtag bunch of losers she meets while running from one of the guys trying to give her another Cease and Desist order from Empire Records. Can’t get sued if you don’t get served!

But this is so that she can pretend to be someone else (Amalia) so she can try to get them invited to Empire Records so they can infiltrate and maybe convince Gramis and Vayne to stop being a prick.

Vaan has been a long-time hopeful and Ashe kinda can’t stand him but damn has he got a set of pipes on him. She wishes he would stop insisting on playing the tambourine while they perform though.

Ashe plays guitar because of course she does.

Ffamran--stage name Balthier--plays drums and used to be in a (not-really) punk band that was actually just full of nazis saying nazi stuff, but he pulled his head out of his ass, ran away from home, became a better man, and started life as a con man ripping off people in leadership positions in Fortune 500 companies.

Fran plays bass. No one knows much about her.

Basch is Ashe’s father’s old business partner who got screwed over as much as anyone in the takeover. Everyone assumes he was part of the hostile takeover, but he has a twin brother who forged paperwork for him. Turns out the shit that happened was highly illegal!

Penelo also plays bass. She and Fran are inseparable. She has a massive crush on Fran. This is not up for debate. They sound incredible together.

Larsa likes indie music and plays ukulele and sings about peace and love.

They want to set fire to Empire records but it’s a very big building with a lot of uninvolved people with signs on their desk that say “Don’t look at me; I just work here” and that’s fair.

Hardcore punk rock lyrics.

Lots of swearing, but not around Ashe.

Rasler died in a car crash when he was driving Ashe to the hospital to see Gramis, who also died in a car crash. Turns out they were all orchestrated by Vayne.

I need to stop here because I’m gonna go way too deep. I already told myself I wouldn’t do this much.

Vaan shrieking “Hey buckethead!” at Empire Record mascots, which are buckets of golden cassette tapes.

Vayne and Gramis end up dying and Larsa takes over Empire Records and halts all construction and starts paying royalties properly. Because Larsa is a good boy.

A word from character designer: Akihiko Yoshida

“Vayne’s hair has a heavy-metal style to it, Fran’s hair is like that too. When i was exploring how Vayne’s hair would look like, the CG designer asked, "is this hair long enough?” and it actually looked good, so we kept the hair as it is.“

[endeavorsreward]

Whose Story Is This?: A Defense of Final Fantasy XII

[Note: Cross-Posted at my mostly-crit blog Arbitrary Numbers sometime within twenty-four hours-ish, probably easier to find a permalink there.]

I'd originally intended to write something like this closer to the release of Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age, but I actually had someone reply to this tumblr with a request for it (thanks, @beeperdoop-hiatus  ) so I’m going to do this now and reblog it later.

It can be really tiring hearing people repeat the same tired criticisms of FFXII’s story. As a particular fan of that game, I wanted to clarify some details on that score. Let’s get into it.

--Caveat

This article is not intended to be a comprehensive look at the game’s flaws, nor is it meant to suggest the game is above reproach. FFXII is extremely flawed. I think most fans of the game are willing to admit as much, though their reasons may differ. How the game handles race is “problematic” at best and the pacing is very chunky, particularly following Mt. Bur-Omisace, which is almost certainly when Matsuno was officially no longer in the driver’s seat. Some characters (such as Penelo) are significantly underserved and only half the cast truly have arcs. I’d argue the game still says and does more in terms of storytelling than any of the other numbered entries in the franchise, and if your argument is that this speaks less of XII and more of the flaws the others have, that is your prerogative. I’m still inordinately fond of it, however.

This is also not an article about gameplay, as it is solely focused on the game’s overlying narrative and its character journeys. Finally, this article has spoilers for all of FFXII. This game is ten, eleven years old now, but the HD re-release is only months away, so I’m putting the courtesy notice here.

--Facts

The following are indisputable facts:

1.) At some point in development, Yasumi Matsuno stepped down from his lead position on this game. Ivalice’s creator, his focus is frequently relating his games to real world politics (Tactics Ogre, for instance, was inspired by viewing scenes of genocide in Yugoslavia). How much was “left” and how much was “forced” is a matter of some debate.

2.) Over the years, the extent to which Ivalice games, and the satellite games in their orbit such as Vagrant Story, are literally connected has been diminished and then reinstated, both by Matsuno himself and by other representatives at Square-Enix.

3.) At some point in development, Basch was to be the playable character. It is also believed that at some point in development, the same was said of Balthier, who appears to have been “finished” first. What is not ever discussed is how long these ideas were on the table. A year? A week? Thirty minutes? A few throwaway lines in an interview or Ultimania do not clarify this issue.

4.) At some point in development, Vaan and Penelo were added to provide a more traditional youth-oriented viewpoint character. It’s believed that this was because there was concern that a bunch of adults in a thorny political situation would not become a big draw for the usual FF crowd. What is not discussed is when this decision was made - Vaan’s actions drive the plot for roughly one-third of the actual story (roughly until Ashe becomes a permanent member) and Penelo was in the game long enough to have scenes deleted before the game shipped, as evidenced by scenes of her dancing in the early trailers. It’s also rarely pointed-out that young characters in FF are neither a guarantee, nor a sign of how that character will be perceived: Canonically, Cecil of FFIV is 20 (37 in the sequel!), and Cloud of FFVII is 21, but these ages are not necessarily how they’re perceived in the wider fandom of those games, generally speaking. Even in XII itself, Ashe and Vaan are only separated by two years (19 and 17 respectively) but players generally view Ashe as an adult and Vaan as a youth, based solely on demeanor.

--TL;DR

The game’s protagonist is Ashe

The game’s viewpoint character is Vaan

The parallel to Ramza Beoulve is Larsa

The parallel to Delita Heiral is Vayne

The thesis statement is Basch (& Gabranth)

The biggest connection to other Ivalice games is shared by Fran and Al-Cid

The narrator is Penelo

The Leading Man is Balthier

The character we begin with is Reks

The characters who actually move the plot are Cid, Reddas, and Ondore

The most important character is Migelo

If you’d consider this breakdown simplistic, that’s fine - that’s sort of the point.

--What is FFXII about?

Because of the shifts in game development, FFXII is actually about a few things. It’s not clear how many of them were Matsuno’s doing, past the first one. However, despite the unevenness of how these ideas are distributed and layered, they do tend to intersect in ways that make the story work. XII is about, in some respect:

Life under Imperialism, and ways to resist, the perils and necessities of radicalism

What we do (or do not) owe to those who have fallen / the cycle of revenge

Self-loathing, specifically regarding the choices we make when we are young - usually choices we feel are not choices at the time

How did the world of Final Fantasy Tactics happen?

Grappling with the influence of Star Wars on the Final Fantasy franchise

A traditional “JRPG” theme regarding the value of free will in a world of gods

Some of these concepts are more high-falutin’ than others. Some of them are very genre or medium specific. What’s important is that essentially, all themes converge in the moment when Ashe chooses to destroy the Sun-Cryst at the Pharos Lighthouse.

--”Migelo’s not the most important character!”

Says you.

We spend a lot of time with Migelo at the beginning of FFXII, as Vaan is taking us through tutorial stuff and we’re getting a handle on Rabanastre and the layout of Dalmasca. Once the journey begins, however, we don’t see a lot of him. What is Migelo’s role in the story? Other RPG protagonists or viewpoint characters have had parents or parental figures that are left behind, but that is their only job - to be the guardian you leave behind to prove that you’re meant to grow up. But Migelo has scenes with Vayne, the primary antagonist - the final boss - that Vaan does not interrupt. When speaking to NPC’s in town, many are talking about Migelo, more than talk about Vaan himself. Why?

Migelo’s role is also, essentially, a tutorial. As you’re learning how combat, rare game hunts, and the bazaar shop work, Migelo is teaching you how to interpret the story. His role is to introduce the theme and tone, because it’s not like other FF games. I’m not sure if “subtle” is necessarily the right word, but many elements of the game rely upon you understanding the implications of the world that you are in, rather than have the characters constantly reiterating those details to you (this begins to break down towards the end, evidence that Matsuno’s hand had left the wheel a bit).

Everyone in town has an opinion specifically of how exactly Migelo acts with the Archadean Empire. Vaan and Penelo have a two-line exchange to draw attention to this, but many NPCs change dialogue after seeing Migelo kowtow to Vayne (as he’d previously done with the guards to save Vaan at the gate earlier). There is a conflict in Rabanastre between resistance and survival. Migelo places his pride below the safety of the orphans that he looks after. The game does not offer definitive judgement on his actions, but asks that you consider that the question exists. It’s suggested he might “lose” the occasional crate and that it finds its way to Vossler & co., but unlike Vaan, who is consumed with directionless anger after the death of his brother - who uses that anger to place himself and others in danger - Migelo is willing to suffer scorn for the sake of his family in the shadow of the occupying force.

I think it’s pretty pointed that Migelo is wearing, essentially, a yarmulke in his role of shopkeeper who’ll suffer scorn for survival under oppression.

The imperialist nightmare that accounts for Dalmasca’s daily life is reinforced with the only other real town you can visit before the game gets going - Nalbina Fortress, where civilians rebuild their own town so that they can be paid by the people who destroyed it in the first place, even as that town is used as a prisoner for political dissidents. It’s a very potent metaphor for imperialism as a whole. Are these civilians wrong for doing so? The game does not decide. People must feed their families, and the insurgence - pardon, resistance - still exists.

These sequences set the tone for the varied decisions the characters must make or have already made, as the narrative focuses on age seventeen as a person’s fulcrum point.

--I was seventeen, it was a very bad year

The cast of Final Fantasy XII, especially the men, each make important decisions at seventeen:

Basch chooses to leave his homeland of Landis, and Noah chooses to stay behind. Landis is conquered; Noah resents his brother for years. Basch holds firm to his choice, as one would expect of the resolute knight/samurai character, but in rare moments his mask slips and his doubt is laid bare.

Ffamran flees home and his role as a low-ranking judge of the Empire, taking a new name for himself as the pirate Balthier. He claims to have chosen freedom, but his every moment in the game is consumed with thoughts of the father he believed lost to madness. We cannot know for sure, but it is likely that Fran was seventeen, or perhaps the Viera equivalent, when she also chose to leave the Wood.

Reks chooses to fight for his homeland, and specifically for his brother Vaan. He dies after torture and perceived betrayal, broken.

Vayne murders his older brothers at his father’s orders, securing his position as heir to the throne while also losing the confidence of the Imperial Senate. He believes himself damned for his position and is subsequently willing to perform monstrous acts so that his younger brother Larsa can rule free of influence and pain (upon getting magicite infusion and  letting the Occurian “heretic” Venat take a ride, this veneer of motivation is stripped away and nothing is left but the monster - it’s not clear how much of this act is motivated by his losing his only friend but he was long past redemption in any case).

As the game opens, the two heroes - Ashe, our protagonist, and Vaan, our viewpoint character, are set to face their journeys. Ashe had her decision taken from her at seventeen - her father and husband were killed and she was spirited away, and so she did not have the agency to make a choice. Vaan is now seventeen and a knot of directionless resentment and anger who has not made a choice.

In the Garif village, Ashe and Vaan have a heart-to-heart in which Vaan explains that he understands his motivations were misguided, but he does not know his place. He tells Ashe that he’ll find his direction with her - through her - and thus when Ashe’s decision comes, it is explicitly designed to determine Vaan’s fate specifically - if he will make a choice that will torture his days the way many others struggle to live with theirs.

--We made a feminist Star Wars by accident

Square-Enix is not... amazing with women. They’ve had many female characters whom women enjoy quite a bit, and I’ve no intention of challenging anyone’s beloved characters. All I mean to say is that when I say “feminist Star Wars by accident,” my tongue is firmly in cheek here, fully self-aware, but that is certainly a way to read what happened.

Final Fantasy has been wrestling with the influence of Star Wars for their whole lifespan. There’s always a Biggs and Wedge, lots of sequences have liberally borrowed... FFIX quotes The Phantom Menace at the end in this bit that really hasn’t aged that well despite largely being a pretty great game. Nobody can be sure at exactly what point it was that they decided to just “do Star Wars” in FFXII - if it was a way to take what they had and make a comprehensible plot in the wake of Matsuno leaving or being asked to leave, if it was Matsuno himself using the skeleton of Star Wars so that his Ivalice story would feel more traditional to other FF fans, if it was a course-correction to Vaan’s late-addition. We can’t know, and it doesn’t especially matter. What does matter is that in doing so, they made a version that’s... better? By certain metrics. Certainly it’s about Star Wars the way that the original film is about the serials Lucas grew up with, but in having Ashe as a protagonist, the journey of the two main characters actually follows a more sensible progression.

Putting aside portrayals for a moment, in a vacuum it would make sense if Princess Leia were the one tempted by the Dark Side, right? She lost so much more than Luke did, her grief and her anger would be so much greater. At any rate, the story of FFXII is essentially a story where we watch Leia through Luke’s eyes, as she is briefly tempted and then refuses that power, which would enable her revenge.

Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca seems to be a difficult character for much of the game’s audience... well, at least much of the game’s male audience? - to wrap their minds around. She’s wearing some ridiculous FF sex appeal clothing, and all of the game’s advertising pivots her as being very coy or demure or traditionally feminine, but in the game she’s kind of a bitch - and I say that as a compliment. Square-Enix can use that key art of her touching her nose all they want, but this is an angry woman who suffered and wants to inflict that suffering, for much of the game. The “problem” is that Ashe is not masculine, not a “man with breasts” female character, but her journey is usually one given to men. She has a love interest die in order to motivate her, and she has to learn to give up her revenge before she does something monstrous - for part of the game she actually considers genocide, until being confronted with the means to achieve it.

If many characters in XII parallel those in FFT in different forms, Ashe is the parallel for Wiegraf Folles - the hero who fell, and the heroine who almost does, both of them the holder of Belias the Gigas first and foremost.

The plot of XII echoes Star Wars more or less beat for beat as we follow desert rat Vaan and his rogue allies and wiser companion until they rescue the princess... at which point the plot still echoes the film, except the princess is clearly the protagonist and upon being rightfully restored, the focus remains upon her.

“Gamers” who bring up “who could have been the main character” are all alike in a very specific way. They all claim that Vaan is bad, and that Basch or Balthier should have been the main character based on some notes about the game’s development. But they all steadfastly refuse to acknowledge that the game’s protagonist is currently Ashe.

It is Ashe who wants to leave Bhujerba and go after Raithwall’s treasure. It is Ashe who wants to speak to the Garif to learn how to unlock the magicite’s power. It is Ashe who agrees to accompany Larsa to Mt. Bur-Omisace, who wants to go to Archades as badly as Balthier, who follows Cid into Giruvegan, who decides to climb the Pharos, who declares she will enter Bahamut and stop Vayne.

And every step of the way, Ashe is advised by men, not left alone by men, her decisions are judged by men. And in fairness to the characters, some of that is deserved. Ashe cannot bear to shatter the stone with the sword, she talks about accruing power. She is the rightful Dynast-Queen and the stone only responds to her, but she speaks in terms far beyond freeing her realm from occupation. But Ondore treats her as a figurehead and does not want her to act with her own agency, Balthier and Fran snipe at her constantly and Balthier especially cannot view her decisions through any lens but his issues with his own father. Al-Cid flirts, Vossler infantalizes, Larsa tries to hold the moral high ground, and Vaan keeps interrupting her.

“I am no false saint for you to use!”

Again and again...

“I am simply myself. No more and no less. And I want only to be free.”

...Ashe tries to reclaim her agency. Her Quickening quotes are ”I must endure” and “I must be strong” and “I must believe.”

The “insurgence” vs. “resistance” joke is a pretty loaded one, because on the one hand, it’s about politics, about how imperialism views resistance, how the narrative can be changed, but on the other it’s about attempts to strip Ashe’s identity away and give her a different one.

Ashe does not get the choice at seventeen, and so at nineteen she stands at the top of the Pharos at Ridorana and Gabranth takes the Darth Vader role, the Emperor role as well: accept the power offered, let revenge damn you. And what she sees is Vaan pick up the sword, and look to her.

The defining moment of Final Fantasy XII is but a spare few seconds as these two young people share a single look. Vaan is at the point of his seventeen-year-old decision here, and Ashe at last has the agency to make a choice. Vaan is many things in this moment - a sort of younger brother figure, in the Luke Skywalker role. Literally one of her subjects, and thus a symbol for her as queen, for how she will consider the welfare of her citizens over everything else as a ruler. As a younger version of all of these men who have pushed her, even as a younger version of herself, less far-gone in being lost to hate.

And because she’s the hero of the story, she discards the stone. And inspires Vaan as well to cast his desire for revenge aside. She inspires him so fully that at the game’s end Vaan uses Gabranth’s blade to land the final blow to help enable Gabranth’s dying redemption.

The focal moment of the story, and it does not work without Vaan there - Vaan is necessary to make the story work.

--Vaan and the male “Gamer”

If you want to know why a certain sort of game-player is so insistent upon reminding you at every moment that Vaan was not always intended to be in FFXII, I think you need look no further than the above image, which is official artwork.

There’s nothing about the above image to appeal to a straight male “gamer.” I’m a straight cis male myself, so I’ll not make assumptions as to whether anyone else likes the look.

Vaan’s abs have been a meme for a decade because of the bizarre choice in how they chose to render them in game, it’s true. In that respect, he’s always looked weird. The rest of his character design is pretty obvious, however. He’s a desert street rat, Vaan Ratsbane, and so he’s meant to explicitly reference Aladdin. The shirtless vest, the band around his waist. But this is a major promotional image, and it’s relying upon a sex appeal you don’t normally see in male video game characters.

Vaan is a viewpoint character, but he is not the protagonist. Vaan is who you control as you run errands. Ashe talks to gods. Balthier looks cool standing at the rim of a prison arena and saying fantasy-racist slurs to provoke some bullies. Basch gets to have noble speeches. Vaan provides comic relief and his most-known moment is when he claims to be someone else to attract attention.

A certain contingent of those who play games do so in order to be supplied with a power fantasy, a wish fulfillment. One would think having Vaan get the best stats and stand up to Gilgamesh and Zodiark and Ultima and Vayne would be enough, but the game does not treat Vaan as wish fulfillment in that way. And they can tell.

Cloud Strife, in the original Final Fantasy VII, is actually a scared and lonely boy who has constructed a personality around himself that appears cool, detached, and badass. Ostensibly the game is about peeling that shell back to see the the boy beneath. But the game’s style, the length of time spent on the “badass” part, and the way the spin-off media treats the character have all worked to leave the traditional gamer affirmed. They’re riding the motorcycle, they’re fighting in the Gold Saucer arena, they’re battling Sephiroth. Final Fantasy XII does not do this.

The character above is not wish-fulfillment for men in part by looks - he is not muscled, he is not “cool” the way Balthier is, and his biggest cutscene action is screaming as he stabs the enemy with someone else’s sword. He’s not wish-fulfillment in the game itself because despite his good stats, every character can play every role competently (even if in the job system, certain characters using certain jobs will be very sub-optimal), and in general viewpoint characters are rarely wish-fulfillment because every other character knows more about what’s going on than they do. Ivalice is a complicated world, and somebody needs to have it explained to them or the player will not be able to follow along, but many players hate getting explanations.

It’s not his youth, either, I hasten to point out: Ramza was young. Denam was young. Nobody has ever taken issue with them in the way they have Vaan. It’s specific issues with Vaan that they have.

He’s more “feminine,” despite being perfectly capable at all times. It’s the lady in the pink miniskirt who does all the cool hero stuff. That’s what people hate. That’s why they always namecheck Basch or Balthier. Despite the game’s plot hinging on Ashe, the character they want to be is a more traditional male hero.

A viewpoint character is especially important in FFXII, however, when you consider that the game is not necessarily played in a vacuum.

--XII as prequel

It’s hard to tell exactly what shape XII would have taken before the outside influences. It’s easy to believe that with Matsuno leading the whole way, it would be a better and more complete work, but we can’t ever really know. It’s interesting to view XII through a lens where its relation to the other Ivalice games matter, however, because many decisions have rather more import when that knowledge exists. The game plays differently when you’re playing it as a prequel, versus a game of its own.

The Final Fantasy Tactics continent of Loar exists in XII-era Rozarria, somewhere far-off to the west. And Rozarria is (if you’ll pardon the term) the “Phantom Menace” of FFXII, always lurking in the shadows, always looming over events. Many, many of the decisions that many characters make in the game are motivated by the knowledge that any provocation could bring Rozarria into the fray more actively, and in so doing cause a war that would wipe out Dalmasca completely. After all, as Migelo would tell you, occupation is monstrous, but it’s better than death. And so Rozarria becomes, in a sense, the spectre of Final Fantasy Tactics itself, always just out of frame, never forgotten. It is Rozarria in the final act which enacts the false flag operation which leads to the climax - an explicitly Dycedarg maneuver!

Al-Cid invites Ashe to visit the Ambervale of Clan Margrace when the hostilities have ceased. The “Ambervale,” of course, was the site of the final battle in Final Fantasy Advance, the game where we first meet Montblanc at a younger age. The other games aren’t forgotten.

Final Fantasy XII occurs pre-Cataclysm, and establishes that there have been many such world-ending events in the past. Out of control nanotechnology, Esper wars, all sorts of events (almost assuredly the inspiration for how FFXIV treats its Calamities). This is a deliberate tie to FFXII’s use of the cycle of revenge and hostility, but it also prompts the informed player to watch the game’s events as a sort of ramp-up to the Cataclysm. We don’t run into Ajora or Germonique here, we don’t see the Cataclysm occur, but the game is asking the player to understand the way these political battles become events that cannot be walked back, how small events can have ramifications, how sickly ironic viewpoints can be in retrospect.

The Viera maintain their isolationism even after being confronted with matters of global scale. In ninety years’ time, the Viera will cease to exist, making this sequence a tragedy in a way it does not for a player who does not know the other games.

Bergan (& Venat) kill the Light of Kiltias and end the Kiltian religion. As a consequence, Pharism will spread and Ajora will rise up to create the events of FFT.

Larsa, the youngest brother, echoes Ramza in demeanor, in signature weapon, in naivety about his elder brother, only to stand a hero in the name of peace.

Vayne may have motivations that stem from love and justice, but his actions are monstrous. Here’s a key: next go-round, note the way the word “Necessity” recurs through his story, and compare it to how Delita’s story uses the word “Endeavor.”

We learn Ultima’s origin, we see why Zodiark is different, we form a connection with Belias.

The Mist is introduced as a central element (inspired by FFIX, which was in turn inspired in places by Tactics), while knowing the Mist will no longer exist post-Cataclysm, which suggests all sorts of things about why the magick system is different and the world is so changed.

These things are not necessary to the understanding of the game’s story - some references to the past are even the sole provenance of the localizers (calling the naturalist “Merlose” in the Clan Primer is just Alex O. Smith having fun, for instance) - but the weight of history - and of the future - very much solidifies ideas that the game is already talking about.

--And so

The expression “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts” could have been invented for Final Fantasy XII, because it’s quite obvious that many parts were created with different goals in mind. There is noticeable friction between those parts in many places (isn’t it weird that they get captured and then escape from the same ship twice in just a few hours of gametime? Or, I get that him being Boba Fett makes this part of the joke, but Ba’Gamnan is really sort of a dead end, huh?) but the whole of XII works, and if that’s in spite of itself, that doesn’t matter, only that it does.

And there are many valid criticisms to level at the game, but the predominance of certain criticisms, the laser-focus of a certain type of “gamer,” suggests that those issues have less to do with the game itself than with certain other reasons.

I look forward to playing The Zodiac Age in a few months, as I’ve never gotten to play the IZJS edition of the game. That is very much the draw for me, rather than the visual improvements - I find myself quite nervous about how those are going to go, actually, and not every single change to IZJS was wholly positive, even if many of them are - and it’s always nice to have an excuse to revisit one of my favorite titles. Gameplay-wise, XII was somewhat ahead of its time. It took titles like Xenoblade to catch up to what XII was doing with its west-meets-east, MMO-inspired flavor, and I’m rather fond of it despite its issues.

But mostly, I’m hoping it’s a chance for many to go back and reexamine a game that was and is very unfairly maligned, and especially so for the wrong reasons.

[achrvmatic-blog]

                                                         THE SAPPY BITS.

I genuinely suck at these, but let me just say i’m grateful for !! so many of you !! ALL of you !! sice is the first canon muse and muse, in general, i’ve ever had on Tumblr, so all my newness has been experienced here. in this community and many others as i continue to branch out, and i’ve never met as many lovely people as i have here before in one place.

BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS YOURE IN FOR A RIDE

                                                MY SQUAD !! RIDE OR DIE !!

@tireurae / @lancerborn / @electricwove / @ffamran.    almond, my man, my main trey you were legit the first type-0 blog to follow and interact with me and seemed so genuinely happy and excited when i made my sice, it made my day?? and kept me on her tbh before i got more mutuals. i loved our interactions together between our class zero babs, and i hope we can do more in the future!! i’ll follow whatever blog you make for the rest of my days i swear.

@noctiscaelvm.    dan, my sweetie pie, my honey bun this goes without even saying how valued you are on my blog. because its a lot. A. Lot. you write your muse so well on noctis, but that’s obvious because you always seem to do so well with any character you take on?? character you take on?? and need i Mention our ship with @sorebullet these three got me Wrecked.

@nightscaped.   phob, your oc kael is just. so amazing he Blows my mind how well written and made and thought out and EVERYTHING he is. sometimes i play ffviii and wonder “wheres kael? wheres my bro?” and lets not even mention how badly sice needed a friend that wouldnt punch her in the face lbr, because everyone else would if they could.

@lazuliss.   let me just say: your noel snatches me bald okay he Owns My Weave. I’ve idolised your blog Forever not gonna lie because noel is such a good character and im like. why does no one write my boyfriend?? love him?? and then your blog came along and i was effectively launched into the planets orbit alright im out of this world. i’m also in love with our au and expect so many things your way when summer hits and i am Free from the majority of my obligations we’re gonna get TURNT.

@lockedfighter.   your tifa is a BAE and honestly as the first tifa i’ve ever written with you will always have a special place in this dark little gay heart of mine. i love how you write her and im often stuck between her mom-ing sice and just being a really good pal y’feel. but then i remember: why not both?

@irradiancies.    i love your kairi. i really do, watching you write her reminds me and makes me see all the reasons why i should and DO love her?? she’s honestly equally important as riku and sora and the bbs trio ppl okay she’s hella important and i love her and sice will little sister the fuck out of her eventually just give her some time.

@eternalfaction .   ley. ley!! LEY !! I love you too like i dont even know where to Begin with you?? but lets start and remind you how Awesome you were for starting the rp group you did for everyone, the first affiliated community i’ve ever been in and by far from that experience i wouldn’t ever mind being in one again. you brought me close to some of the people i’ve mentioned already, and for that i am ever greatful!! it even brought me to you.

@lastscion .   you’re like, the only other noctis so far i can recall deeply interacting with and boy. i love your noctis too and i have in no way forogtten your king blog im just hella slow af, and god just punch me in the face w/ur talent come on lemme have it.

@leviathkand .  your tidus has scortched my eyebrows off with how pure of a sun he is. i have no eyebrows. theyre gone. eyebrows were a myth for me tbh and even though we literally rn only have one thread, i look forward to a future full of them between our gaurdian babies !! they have so much potential. so much.

@akamure .   literally we’ve only had a few crack interactions that incluuded @adventson , and to the both of you, i’m just waiting man my clock is set the calendar is marked i love you guys’ writing and portrayals and hmu one day yfeel...

@shinatosark &&. @puritybled . this fits for the both of you because we have only just scratched the surface of plotting between the relationships our muses will have but if you dont think in her ygo verse sice isnt gonna sister the hell out of these two boys you are Wrong and you are in for a surprise. they’re not blood related but that doesnt matter?? they’re her little brothers now. you cant escape and you cant stop this kaiba name or no kaiba name she cant be controlled. you’ve both also been some of the very first people outside my muses canon fandom to be chill and open to interact with me and i am grateful. so greatful. ive been blessed by two angels right here.

@yunafied .  uhm? ur yuna? ur yuna. she owns my soul no take backs she has it now and i dont want it back. i have so many ideas i need to hurry up and pitch at you to develop of class zero kids, because i have such concepts to get yuna into that sibling bond group too she needs to learn a little compassion from yuna honestly.

@shitheaddog .  we’ve barely been mutuals but just like my ygo fam you’re so ?? cool and open to me wtf and i cant wait for what we’ll be able to do together in sice’s inuyasha verse ( also that botw stuff *wink wonk* im in that hell too).

@yuhaie . A GODDESS?? A LITERAL GODDESS. WE’VE BEEN MUTUALS FOR ONE DAY. ONE. AND YOU’VE BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO MAKE A PRE-ESTABLISHED BOND WITH MY MUSE IN A NARUTO VERSE OUT THE KINDNESS OF YOUR HEAT AND OMG WHAT THE FUK I CANT EVEN.

                                  some bomb ass bitches lemme tell u.

i love seeing you guys on my feed?? you make my time here worth just as much as everybody else. thank you.

@pharahos @puzzllcd @infiniitas @cardgamez @brandedrose @synxrgist @papilia / @tiiamate @adventhero @reminiscentiae @keycursed @tacticalgunner @infusedblues @valeurr / @bloodknuckles @kaosureign @ofhammerhead @ibisangelus @scphiroth @magitekelite @jourdevanille @notavampirehere

[adventhero-blog1]

OBLIGATORY 666 FOLLOW FOREVER // BIAS LIST.

when i made my first blog last year, i never  ( in a million years ) would’ve guessed i’d ever accumulate this number of followers. ever. with my on and off activity, n’ mass shitposting, i’m surprised i ever even surpassed 100. way more important than numbers, though, are the people who i’ve met & interacted with here, and who have inspired me -- or encouraged me to stick around, when i wasn’t feeling it.  ™

i’ve said it countless times -- & i’ll say it when i’m on my deathbed : i love cloud strife. he was the first muse i wanted to pick up, but i decided against it because he was already such a popular character and muse. finally making this blog back in october of 2016 wasn’t a mistake. despite being painfully awkward, i’ve met a ton of people ; some i speak to regularly, and others  ( -- my bad )  not so much. 

all the same  ( gross )  i appreciate everyone sticking around. ffvii has been a part of my life quite literally since the year i was born, and having some means of conveying how much it ( -- & cloud ) means to me is pretty therapeutic, n’ relaxing. i won’t ramble much more, anyhow. i’m not gonna tag most everyone in the list below, obviously, but i’ll make some mentions. the usual stuff, right ?  cloud voice: let’s mosey.

PEOPLE I’D LET PUNCH ME.

@adventson ; realises the irony of putting your url first under that title. c a s. you’re an evil nerd, but you’re pretty great. it’s obvious by now that i’m not great at talking to people, but you’re one of few i talk to pretty much every day & things never feel awkward. we can just fling songs, images, videos, quotes, headcanons, etc, back and forth and it’s chill. you’re chill. not to mention we share a lot of similar opinions about things. cool. your headcanons and responses are always really great,, p.s. stop pushing me down stairs.

@jjillekkot ; you’ll probably be mentioned in anything like this i post ever. nina is one of the best beans i’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. 10/10 yuffie, and genuinely great human ( bean ) being. you're always sorta ... there, when i don’t feel great. even if we don’t talk consistently, it’s a lot more than we used to. i appreciate you for checking in on me, and just appreciate you in general. yuffie & cloud are wholesome and so are u. we’ll find rufus’ weakness, eventually.

@akamure ; jake ... another evil one. you’re pretty great, though. even if you do dig away at my ( already tarnished ) reputation with pretty much every ask you send. your serious ic stuff is goals, too. i’ll probably follow you across every blog you make, even if it does end with cloud or noct getting harassed via asks. it’d feel weird not seeing you on the dash or having you send cracky posts & asks my way at least every week or so. sorry, i don’t make the rules.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@reinfouru // @cetrafleuris ; i can’t believe i didn’t know you were the blog that’d been following me for a long time, prior to you following me on your aqua. i’ve always appreciated that you liked a lot of stuff i put effort into, and ever since i started actually talking to you, i’ve appreciated you more-so. you’re a great friend and person ( -- if it’s ok to say that ) and it’s nice being able to talk at our own pace, i think. it’s really appreciated that you put up with my rambling. your writing is also a+.

@aheroesdeath ; i'm pretty sure you’re gone now, but i wanted to include you here because over the period of time between my last follow forever & now i’ve still probably talked to you ooc, n’ maybe even interacted with ic more than most people. i really did enjoy our interactions together, and it was always fun discussing the boys ™ with you. i hope you at least feel more chill off of tumblr.

@atlasbcrn || @makoblue ; yet another person who is gone, but i wanted to say i really appreciate just ... seeing you’re still about on the dash, even if it’s in a fandom i know ( -- literally ) nothing about. for what it’s worth, whenever i see you i hope you’re doing alright. the thing you sent on valentines day made my heart ache a lil, but it’s appreciated to know you still think of us.

REUNION.

@tacticalgunner // @heroicardour || @elyrean || @inartibus || @suntek || @lockethart || @infiniitas || @kaosureign || @thecxmmissioner || @argent-noir || @ivory-paragon || @tsengofshinra || @flowerprayer || @masterofellipsis || @lusterheart || @gallowsgrove || @cetrasguard || @fadxngmemcry || @soulcrux || @daisanokensha || @togovernwithdecorum || @wildcrcw || @gaiawing || @rapusodosu || @gun-arm || @bushidoxunsent || @dreamzanarkands || @regalrequiem || @unsentlaughter || @spiras-sunshine || @duciit || @insarys || @tiiamate || @daemonizing || @ofhammerhead || @armigeruser || @featherdicks || @andhonour || @ablackwing || @duskisms || @drexm-eater || @lockedfighter || @eternefiamme || @eternalfaction || @eruditorem || @rexcrystallis || @misplacedxheroics || @warofthebeasts || @ofrhapsodos || @blackmage-lulu || @blasteredged || @villiers || @scphiroth || @holybound || @akweh || @spectavisse || @skyvar || @deusuprema

ANXIOUS HEART.

@xkuja || @ibisangelus || @theancientflower || @redpupxiii || @invidiia || @flovverisms || @magitekelite || @leofatali || @aerneth || @cetraheir || @atcned || @sonofprodigy || @shiroganc || @respxrk || @ruckgrat || @grxvidus || @pxine || @finaltia || @raikogan || @achrvmatic || @boargored || @umbrxm || @loquistador || @phylxrchus || @oflucis || @skyblade || @ncbodymove || @sparkstryke || @townterror || @false-lucifer || @aeristheancient || @ofsilverguns || @jen-ova || @silvaer || @marleneiisms || @mammaterasu || @dcntgiveup || @rosegeneral || @isstarlight || @vainstruck || @voidnoh || @tailedthief || @feralstriike || @ffamran || @prcmising || @thalxssas || @diabolgod || @flava-proelium || @deityspoken || @fleurdange || @sxphiroth || @insomniis || @reminiscentiae || @hcllion || @buttonstrayed || @miragessplit || @churchflower || @grandspark

& THANK YOU.

not just to everybody listed, but to the billion people i inevitably missed out. i’m tired, forgive me hgjkl;

[kaosureign-blog]

i’m really shook that it’s been almost a month and yet 200+ of you numbskulls are following me ( though I admit I got some....porn blogs in the mix ). but anyways, this is deadass my first time in the final fantasy community and I’ve felt pretty welcomed like wow y’all are great 10/10. and it’s been difficult writing vince lemme tell you -- my oc, which is my main muse, is the complete opposite. he talks a lot + wears his heart on his sleeve while vince is like some emo zombie. but i’ve come to love him anyways !!! maybe it’s because of you guys idk. ANYWAYS. on to the important part lol

cool kiddos with the apple juice squad ( I really like u guys ok and u make me laugh and all that gay stuff )

@tacticalgunner / @heroicardour, @fcyth , @dcntgiveup , @ofbraver , @adventson , @backwaterheroics , @strifx , @ablackwing , @kingslight , @argent-noir , @daemonslae , @a-chaotic-affair , @shiverheart , @thecxmmissioner , @sxphiroth , @forzia / @soldierway , @fadetality , @reinfouru

the lean mean meme machines ( I feel like I’ve just recently adopted y’all and we haven’t really got a chance to interact/talk but ????? y’all are poppin’ )

@lockedfighter , @marleneiisms , @lastlucis , @lvcion , @blasteredged , @jjillekkot , @ofhammerhead , @crawleymade , @rosegeneral , @reprisalt , @cetraheir , @ofargentum , @yunafied , @finaltia , @letmebeyourcanary 

my pumpkins ( basically I just kinda stalk y’all because i’m lame and shy and y’all are too lit )

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[ffamranxii]

hold me closer

“No,” Iwaizumi says again. “You were always going to go.” “Yes,” Oikawa says slowly. They’ve known this since they were eight years old, when they saw that match that cemented Blanco as Oikawa’s idol. They’ve known this since Coach Irihata gave Oikawa Blanco’s email their first year of high school and vouched for his prowess on the court. Since Oikawa specifically chose this university for its sister school in Argentina. It was just dumb luck the school had a strong sports science program for Iwaizumi too. “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa starts. “Congratulations,” Iwaizumi says stiffly.

Iwaizumi's always known about Oikawa's Argentinian dream, so it shouldn't be a surprise when Oikawa's accepted into a study abroad program there. But Iwaizumi and Oikawa have been together since they were in diapers, and the prospect of a life without Oikawa is suddenly more than Iwaizumi can bear.

[ffamranxii]

“No,” Iwaizumi says again. “You were always going to go.” “Yes..." They’ve known this since they were eight years old, when they saw the match that cemented Blanco as Oikawa’s idol. They’ve known this since Coach Irihata gave Oikawa Blanco’s email their first year of high school and vouched for his prowess on the court. Since Oikawa specifically chose this university for its sister school in Argentina. It was just dumb luck the school had a strong sports science program for Iwaizumi too. “Iwa-chan...” “Congratulations,” Iwaizumi says stiffly.

***********************

CHAPTER SEVEN IS UP

“How are you? Really?”

“I just told you.”

Sharp black slivers pin him in place as his friend looks at him again. “I’m not Iwaizumi,” Matsukawa says slowly. “I can’t discern twenty layers of hidden meaning just by looking at you.” His lips press together in a thin line. “I’d appreciate if you were honest with me.

“So I’m going to ask you again, and you’re not going to bullshit me this time.” Matsukawa is calm, but his eyes betray a somberness Oikawa’s never seen before. “How are you really doing, Oikawa?”

[ffamranxii]

Hey guys! If you’re looking for something to read, here’s part one of some WoW fics, written by me, that you might enjoy.

Tales From Silvermoon

This is the series these fics are under. They’re in no particular unless otherwise noted. Mind the tags, which is where things get trippy and commentator-y.

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Little Lynx

Main Pairing: Halduron/Velonara

She took him with her when she died.

Enough: Long Story Short

Main Pairing: Rommath/Kael’thas

When Grand Magister Rommath was in his cups, he allowed himself to think of Kael’thas.

The original two-shot that spawned a beast of a fic (see below).

Enough: Short Story Long

Main Pairing: Rommath/Kael’thas

When Grand Magister Rommath was in his cups, he allowed himself to think of Kael'thas, and through copious setbacks and aggressive cheerleading from his colleagues and Astalor, becomes whole again.

Family

Main Pairing: Liadrin & Salandria, Lor’themar & Salandria, Lor’themar/Liadrin

Liadrin goes to Shattrath to speak to a Naaru and comes home with a child. She, Salandria, and Lor'themar react to Salandria's adoption.

Trueshot Remedy

Main Pairing: Halduron/Velonara

The Alliance and the Horde can't seem to work together as factions, and with the threat of the Burning Legion, they decide to try a different approach. A call for hunters to man Trueshot Lodge in Highmountain finds Halduron Brightwing face to face with his lost love, for the first time since the Forsaken broke free of the Lich King's will.

Sequel to Little Lynx.

The Thrill of It All

Main Pairing: Aethas Sunreaver/Arator the Redeemer

Aethas Sunreaver never thought anyone would love him the way all the stories said. Enter Arator Windrunner.

At Last I See the Light

Main Pairing: Astalor Bloodsworn/OC

Lord and Lady Bloodsworn's greatest gift to their son was their love story, and years later, Astalor writes his own.

(This is a side story to Enough: Short Story Long, and might not make sense if you haven't read it, because it concerns the subplot of Astalor's relationship with Rommath's sister.)

Dalah’surfal

Main Pairing: Halduron/Velonara

After the burning of Teldrassil, Velonara can no longer stand behind the woman she's followed for millennia. Horrified at her commander's actions, Velonara flees to Quel'Thalas, and back to Halduron.

This is a sequel to Trueshot Remedy.

Stealing My Heart

Main Pairing: One-sided Thalyssra/Lor’themar

The moment Thalyssra laid eyes on Lor'themar Theron she was smitten. Until she realized he belonged to somebody else.

Conversations in the Dark

Main Pairing: Lor’themar/Liadrin, one-sided Thalyssra/Lor’themar

Lor'themar gets drunk off arcwine and realizes some very important things about his relationship.

Companion to Stealing My Heart.

[ffamranxii]

Stormwind Secret Archives

The Alliance side of my WoW fics. Just like Tales of Silvermoon, you can read in any order (though there is a bit more continuity here than there.) Mind the tags, which are both hilarious and informative.

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Eat Pray Stab

Main Pairing: Valeera/Varian, Valeera & Anduin, Valeera & Mathias Shaw, Valeera/Umbric

Or, A Begrudging Tolerance For Imbecility.

If there was one thing growing up during the Scourge has taught Valeera, it's not to get attached. But she isn't very good at following her own rules, and despite her best attempts, four men worm their way into her heart.

Moving Forward

Main Pairing: Anduin & Varian

When Anduin was younger, his father used books to connect with him. Three years after Varian's death, Anduin receives a book and is forced to confront his buried grief.

Assassin Battlemage Soldier Spy

Main Pairing: Umbric/Valeera

The Alliance was supposed to protect them but in the war against the Horde, they seem more interested in using the ren'dorei as shock value cannon fodder, and Umbric is quickly reaching his breaking point. All he'd wanted was to protect the Sunwell and now here he was, banished from his homeland and serving a faction who's more interested in using him to further their own machinations. Valeera wasn't supposed to mean anything, until she did.

The Muffin Thief

Main Pairing: (not a ship fic, but Fairshaw is there)

All Mathias wanted was a quiet day at work. All Renzik wanted was a muffin. Flynn manages to Fairwind his way into things, as per usual.

"Hang on, did you just use my name as a verb?"

What You Give Me

Main Pairing: Varian/Valeera

Varian and Valeera spend the night together, before she leaves for her mission in Dalaran and he for the Broken Shore.

Rated M

The Place My Heart Returns Home To

Main Pairing: Varian/Valeera

Varian convinces Valeera to attend the annual Winter Veil ball.

Rated E

Beaten By The Rain

Main Pairing: Mathias Shaw/Edwin VanCleef

Shaw reflects on his life - his choices and his failures - in the wake of Anduin's confession about Wrathion.

[ffamranxii]

I had a person leave a comment on my fanfic today. They didn’t mention anything about the writing, the characterization, or the plot.

It said “this isn’t canon.”

....

Like....

No shit, Sherlock???

[ffamranxii]

Hey y’all, I’m here to post about my own fics! Take a looksee, see if anything piques your interest.

C’est la Vie 5

A series with long, overarching plots, C'est La Vie 5 is the product of years of character retooling, research, and refining. What starts with the traumatic death of the fathers of Amamiya Ren, Futaba, and Shinya leads into the discovery of a terrible family secret. The Amamiya patriarchs touched many lives throughout the series, notably Arisato Minako, herself struggling with an ailing brother. Her boyfriend is hiding secrets of his own about his former life, and those secrets are starting to come out of the shadows. Aragaki Shinjiro left that life behind, however, and is not at all interested in former gang member Urameshi Yuusuke’s seeking a job at the LGBTQ haven the Stray Sheep in a seemingly genuine attempt to turn his life around. All Nishikado Sojiro wants to do is fix his two best friends up but they're both being stupidly difficult about it, to the point where even shy Kuragi Machi has to say something to them. Meanwhile, a series of murders around Tokyo has Commissioner Sato Makoto more on edge than her boss's pressures on her to perform, because they have no leads and a growing pile of bodies.

Book One: Blue Flower

Ren's parents have died in a car accident and now he must take in his siblings Futaba and Shinya. While balancing the sudden imposition and his new role as head of the family, he must also contend with his demanding job as a member of the Tokyo police force, his parents' businesses and their funeral, and his own feelings of grief. Futaba has become a shut in and Shinya is bordering on delinquency. His boyfriend Ryuuji is his rock, but Ryuuji has a secret of his own that he feels he now can't burden Ren with (because who drops a bomb on a man whose parents just died?)

Shinjiro is keeping dark secrets from Minako, concerned she’s already pushed to the brink. A murderer stalks Tokyo and the police have no leads, leaving Makoto two steps shy of a mental breakdown and Ren with more work than he can handle. Everything had been so much easier when his parents were still alive.

Book Two: Secret Things

Minako is trying desperately to keep herself together after the death of her father figure Amamiya Jun. But her brother is very sick and she's deeply in denial, and Shinjiro - her rock - is keeping secrets himself. Shinjiro is worried for her, and his friends Akihiko and Naoto are worried for HIM as his health worsens. Meanwhile, Minako's neglected friends are going through issues of their own: Hina has been in a deep depression since running across her abusive ex-boyfriend, and Sojirou reluctantly teams up with Jaekyung and Komaki to help.

The murder spree in Tokyo may have slowed to a crawl, but Mikasa's life is far from peaceful as her family drops a bombshell on her that rocks the very foundation of who she is. Unable to keep busy and keep her mind off of it with work, she seeks solace at Murakawa Shrine and old friends.

[ffamranxii]

Assassin Battlemage Soldier Spy has reached its final chapter!

You can read it here! 

ASSASSIN BATTLEMAGE SOLDIER SPY

Pairing: Valeera Sanguinar/Magister Umbric, one-sided Umbric/Rommath

Rating: T, some chapters are rated M

Tags: umbric's hateboner for rommath, Tentacle References, umbric has some feelings about how the alliance treats him, bisexual umbric, how to plot an assassination when your girlfriend works for your target, the void causes horrible nightmares and other side effects, umbric's rise to power is so sus, there are 32 named velfs ingame and i'm using them all, let's talk about what happened in silvermoon, descriptions of violence, the ren'dorei are one huge found family, the void makes you paranoid and anxious and angry, i suppose i have to tag food/eating issues now since i can't stop talking about food, Minor Character Death, umbric is pants at relationships, trouble in nazjatar, ginger tea is a nausea cure all, Extremely Unreliable Narrator, winter veil is the season for consumerism, guys most of your problems would abate if you just talked it out, cupcake boi anduin, all kneel before void

************

The Alliance was supposed to protect them but in the war against the Horde, they seem more interested in using the ren'dorei as shock value cannon fodder, and Umbric is quickly reaching his breaking point. All he'd wanted was to protect the Sunwell and now here he was, banished from his homeland and serving a faction who's more interested in using him to further their own machinations. Valeera wasn't supposed to mean anything, until she did.

************