#fighting all of my base instincts so i dont make this into an actual au and dont pour in hours of work to make it make sense

[tendebill]

drew the ow strike team as paladins of voltron, because i am normal about them :]

(2 other versions and a fucking essay below the cut!)

ok so im gonna give my reasoning for each of them

Reinhardt - the easierst to pick, the Yellow Lion is the most tank-like (besides the Black Lion, but thats cuz Black is the head + torso), also i think the legs of voltron are supposed to be the "pillars" that allow the team to work well, without them the whole thing crumbles (literally). from what i recall from the actual show, the Yellow Paladin is protective and loyal. Rein was the easiest to match up tbh (plus even the color fits lol)

Torbjörn - not my favourite choice, but tbh i dont think any other lion fits him? besides maybe Yellow, but Rein was too perfect so i couldnt give Torb that one. anyway, the Green Lion is the left hand. i consider the legs to be the "pillars" holding up the team, whereas the arms are the actual damage-dealers/the ones that act on what the leader commands. and as Torb is a dps, that fits just fine. hes not quite a leader, so being the left hand instead of the right is good. plus the Green Lion is inquisitive and curious, and since Torb is a genius, that fits just fine too. i thought he would look weird with green, since i associate him with red-orange-yellow the most, but he looks kinda nice

Ana - i was originally gonna make her blue from the get-go, but i thought it'd be silly to make the remaining three switch lions a bunch, so i can get an excuse to draw Gabe and Jack in multiple suits lmao. but Ana starts out as red, the right hand of Voltron, described as the most temperamental and aggressive. it requires a paladin that can keep up with it and works on instinct most of the time. i feel like Ana would have to BECOME the motherly figure for her team, instead of being one from the start. with that i think she would have been a more "lone wolf" type at first, only later on becoming more mindful of her teammates and how much they need her, which would lead to her becoming the paladin of the Blue Lion - a pillar that keeps the team going along with Rein, a vital part, but no longer in a leadership position. i've seen the Blue Lion described as a "free spirit" too, which i think is also perfect for her :3

Jack - for him i had three options, all of which fit him well: blue, red and black. and instead of picking one, i decided he was going to have three different lions :))) for shits and giggles. so he starts out as blue, a free spirit, very versitile (from what i gathered, the Blue Lion doesn't have a specific "thing" it specilizes in, but instead does a little bit of everything, kinda like Jack). i imagine Jack was the middle-man, an integral part of team-building. he would have been the one to push everyone to work together and follow Gabe's lead, but he was content being on the sidelines most of the time. eventually he takes up more responsibility, sees that he's vital for the team and that he can do more working side by side with Gabe, and so he becomes the paladin of the Red Lion, Gabe's right hand man. then he of course slowly grows to be the actual leader, as Gabe's approach changes and he slowly abandons his original role, passing the command over to Jack. and so Jack's last lion is the Black Lion. also i feel like all three lions fit Jack's color scheme pretty well, so that's another win for me hah

Gabe - since he was the original Strike Commander, i thought it only natural that he would be the first to pilot the Black Lion. the pilot needs to be decisive, stay cool in the face of danger and be someone whose men will follow him into battle with no hesitation - all traits that i see Gabriel would have had to have during the first Omnic Crisis. like i mentioned before, Jack eventually becomes his second in command, and then slowly their roles start to shift. Gabe is no longer content in making decisions for the whole team, he probably also becomes more violent and reckless, relying on Jack to keep him in check. he loses his connection with the Black Lion and becomes the paladin of the Red Lion, Jack's right hand man. the traits of Red fit him well too - aggressive, relies on instinct, temperamental, plus i imagine Gabe is the type to want to get things done as quickly as possible, no matter the risk, to save more people faster. plus, again, the colors match up yaaaay!

fun fact: i never finished watching voltron ^^

also i am truthing anahardt and reaper76 as we speak

[many-gay-magpies]

@honeyseungz @loabivey so that uh. that mini au that you had like a very small rb thread about yesterday (well over a few days ago now that im posting this). well uh. um . actually you know what im just gonna let you read it yourselves

so. heeseung, jay, and sunoo are all brothers. wether its actual brothers or just "brothers" by blood bond or whatever idk. but, regardless, they're brothers. im thinking that like, at first they aren't vampires, theyre just regular dudes yknow? (and just a forewarning, a lot of this isnt gonna be as compliant with the enhaverse theorizing we've done so far, it's just a little brain worm i wanted to play around with, throwing a little bit of enhaverse crumbs in here and there)

but anyway. they're not vampires, im thinking theyre just like... adopted/found family brothers, probably orphans or something. regardless they love each other a lot and its great. personality-wise everything is super different, but just for plot conveniences, heeseung, jay, and sunoo are the yunmeng trio (heeseung as wwx, jay as jc, and sunoo as jyl respectively), and jungwon is lwj.

the three brothers meet jungwon, probably brought together by this Big Fantasy Evil, maybe something involving the vampire queen as a character? idk. there's some big evil shit going down, and the three brothers somehow end up with jungwon and HIS big bro, who im imagining is jake (basically the lan xichen in this situation—very soft, kind, gentle; the vibes are right). both of them are vampires, not that our three orphan bois know that. they get caught up in the danger, and vampire bros jake and jungwon coms to the rescue.

now, a little bit of personality-mapping here: jay is outwardly very loud, fun, temperamental, and sarcastic, generally very much like he is irl; but inside, he's intensely loyal, protective, and loving, with a HUGE soft spot for the people closest to him. sunoo is very sweet, sensitive, and kind—the walking hug of the three brothers, who is certainly not without his bite and wont hesitate to talk back to anyone who hurts them. aggressively and without mercy. also he makes them soup for comfort and is generally best boy. heeseung is very goofy, playful, free-spirited, and bright, but insecure and sensitive underneath it all; generally a loud annoying mess of a boy. pure chaotic neutral and a gremlin if there ever was one. jungwon, on the other hand, is... not. he's nervous, quiet, cautious to a fault and intensely righteous, always standing up for what's right and refusing to waver from his chosen path. very lawful good vibes. he, naturally, is more than a little put off when jay, sunoo, and heeseung's chaotic ass come crashing into he and his brother jake's once-peaceful (ish) lives. and it doesn't help that heeseung is a... huge flirt, and apparently deadset on making jungwon his friend. fuck.

jungwon... doesn't know what to do. and it would all be so much easier if heeseung were dumb or stupid or unattractive or just a total asshole—but he isnt any of those things. he's beautiful, smart, insanely witty with a brain faster than any jungwon's ever seen—he can't help but admire him. but on top of that, he's wreckless as hell, unpredictable, and pushy, and gives jungwon heart attacks way too much for his liking. he doesn't even have a heartbeat. he's fucking dead.

it eventually comes out that jake and jungwon are vampires; the brothers are surprisingly cool with it. not the craziest thing that's happened to them.

the five boys get closer, staying together as they fight their foe (which im becoming increasingly inclined to make the werewolves), and through a series of convoluted events, jungwon learns that heeseung is not only gorgeous, smart, talented, and funny as all get-out, but also sensitive, caring, insecure, and thoughtful... and heeseung, who's only goal had been to break through the nervous and straightforward outer shell of his young dongsaeng, does just that. and jungwon, naturally, starts to fall in love.

somewhere along the line, though, things go wrong—as they were bound to do in an au loosely based off of the untamed. something happens to heeseung; he's fatally wounded after saving jay's life, and disappears, nowhere to be found. his brothers eventually assume the worse; that he's gone forever. but the queen finds him, takes care of him, nurses him back to health. turns him.

when he comes back, nothing's the same. the war is still going, and his brothers thought he was dead—but he isn't. but he's... different. jungwon and jake are quick to realize that he's been turned, how, they dont know—but they talk to him, teach him, try to help him, jungwon especially. of course he does; he's in love. heeseung, of course, is dismissive; doesn't take it seriously. ill be fine, whats so bad about this? or, perhaps, he doesn't let on just how hard he's taking it; fearing vulnerability more than he fears being a vampire.

inevitably, though, heeseung's wrecklessness leads to doom—he lets his bloodlust overtake him, relishes in it, no matter how much jungwon had warned him against it, pleaded with him to take caution. he says it's usefull—says he can help them take out enemies, help them win this war. jungwon warns him that he could end up getting more than he bargained for. heeseung doesn't listen.

heeseung helps them win the war; practically wins it for them. hes happy, bitterly, until he isnt. he's happy, until he sees his brother—sees sunoo. blood-covered, pale-skinned, drained.

no.

heeseung is broken. jay even moreso. jay yells at him; yells and yells and yells and yells. curses him out, tells him he hates him, tells him he's nothing but cruel evil—he doesn't mean it, of course, but no one knows it then, not even him. now he is only angry; so, so angry. heeseung, wrought with guilt and shame and grief, flees—hides himself somewhere secluded, does the closest thing a vampire can possibly do to death, the equivalent of a thousand-year hibernation. none can find him, he's made sure of that. in his guilt and shame and anger he stews, asleep, for hundreds, thousands of years.

after the anger passes, jay is more than anything in mourning—for heeseung as well as for sunoo. he has a realization, that being that, when, inevitably, heeseung comes back, he doesn't want him to be alone: even if he'll have jungwon and jake, it won't be the same as having his brother. so jay pleads, cries, begs for jungwon to turn him—so that they can search for heeseung together, so that when heeseung comes back, he'll have jay waiting for him, too. so, reluctantly, jungwon gives in and turns jay—after which he helps him deal with his newfound immortality and vampiric status—helping him handle his bloodlust and helping him learn how to feed. over the centuries that heeseung is gone, jay, jungwon, and jake grow even closer (j line eyyy), inseparable as they search for heeseung and even outside of that. jungwon and jay are the closest, jay growing a colossal soft spot for the boy and not hesitating to take him under his wing and protect him with all he has (initially, sort of as a replacement for protecting heeseung, but eventually jay's affection for jungwon grows into something all it's own). to be clear, no love triangle bullshit here, only sickening-sweet platonic soulmates jaywon and a jungwon that is still achingly in love with heeseung.

(okay for anyone thats actually watched cql/read mdzs, yes i KNOW lwj and jc did not get along at all and kind of hated each other but. this is my au i do what i want, and if i want to add soft jaywon into the mix then im fucking going to, goddamnit)

OKAY TIME FOR SOME WACKY SIDE-PLOT MADNESS

so. sunghoon. how does he fit into all this? how does he end up being the one to trigger heeseung's "resurrection"? how does heeseung GET resurrected in the first place? well, not to worry, you're about to find out! and i am too because i'm just figuring this out as i go along baybyyyy

sunghoon, im thinking, is a friend of jake's (lets throw some jakehoon in here too bcs why not), either from before everything went to shit and heeseung went and isolated himself, or sometime during the numerous centuries jakewon spent looking for heeseung with jay. either way, sunghoon is this boy who jake is friends with and cares about a lot, and is also maybe kind of in love with. while jaywon spend most of their time looking for heeseung, jake spends his with sunghoon—finding himself often alone, now that his little bother is going off on his own adventures.

in a situation quite similar to heeseung's, sunghoon probably gets fatally injured somehow and is near death, but jake, not wanting him to die, decides to turn him instead. niki is also involved, and it's a sort of package deal, because before meeting jakewon, heeseung, and everyone, they were their own little thing; not unlike jay, heeseung, and sunoo's brother's triad. they were both probably orphans, niki being the much younger one, and as such sunghoon took him under his wing and never looked back. when jake turned sunghoon, niki was basically like "m8 what the fuck" and demanded he be turned too, not wanting his sunghoon-hyung to live on forever while he grew old and died. jake, also having a soft spot for niki, was like "fine alright" and turned him too. so, now their little vampire coven numbered five, and all was (moderately) well.

or not.

the thing was, jake hadn't anticipated how powerful sunghoon would be—there's nothing in life that anyone's found yet that would indicate a person's level of power once turned, so jake had... pretty much no way to see this coming. but, anyway, sunghoon was... really, really powerful. like, insanely powerful. all the abilities vampires were said to have in legends, the likes of which were previously reserved for just legends, he had them; flawless teleportation, mind control, shape-shifting, the whole bit. and on top of that, he was controlled—insanely good at monitoring himself and keeping tabs on his own instincts. one of the most self-sufficient, well-mannered vampires jake had ever seen. it was... frankly insane.

the problem? the queen. this is where she comes in, because she's played a part in all the boys' transformations, albeit indirectly—when jake and jungwon first turned, it was she who turned them. she could sense sunghoon's power, and she wanted it for herself. jake and jungwon had done well at avoiding her, even forgetting about her for a while; but what she wanted, she took, and take she did. it was sunghoon she took: luring him to her in small increments and then all at once, taking control of him, turning him into a mindless puppet. sunghoon had always prided himself in control, and without it, havoc wreaked: bodies dropping left and right, people being killed seemingly at random, their only purpose being to instill fear and paranoia.

now, niki had heard tales, before, from his hyungs but also from regular townspeople to whom the legend had gotten passed down, of heeseung, and how great and terrible he was. heeseung, the townspeoples' folktales said, had been insane, unstoppable: a mad genius far too gone for redemption. niki also knew from his hyungs' fond stories that heeseung, more than evil, was kind and caring; he was loyal, and powerful in his loyalty, and niki thought that if anyone could save his sunghoon-hyung, it was heeseung.

so niki went on a journey. without telling jaywon or anyone else (and thus causing quite the panic), he spent years searching for heeseung, everywhere jaywon had thought to look and everywhere they hadn't, and twice more for good measure. and, by some stroke of luck, either due to his own sheer force of will of something else entirely, niki found him: locked away in an old castle that never quite seemed to stay put, constantly phasing in between realities. it made sense why no one had found him before then—he didn't want to be found. desperately, in fact.

but niki, too, was desperate. he enacted a ritual that was said (by jake, so of course it was to be trusted) to wake any vampire that had gone into hibernation, and, miracles continuing to work for the bitter young boy, it worked. heeseung awoke—startled to find himself staring into the face of a very teary, very angry (visibly) sixteen-year-old.

confusion passed, things and motives were explained, and heeseung (although bitter at having been woken up, and still riddled with enough guilt to last 1500 lifetimes) attempted to patiently tell niki that he had no fucking idea how to help sunghoon whatsoever. niki pretty much said "well you better fucking find a way because you're not going back to sleep now, the world's about to fucking end. also jay and jungwon-hyung have been looking for you for literal centuries, do you know how pissed theyd be if i went out looking for you, found you, then came back empty-handed? really fucking pissed is how much. also sad. did i mention sad?" and heeseung, notoriously weak and also kind of (read: very) in love, is just like "...jungwon? jay?"

so niki brings heeseung back to the others, the return journey taking a long enough time that the two become significantly close to each other, heeseung's long-forgotten big brother instincts (tm) kicking in around the younger vampire. niki has to basically drag heeseung out of the castle by his teeth, because as much as he misses his brother and jungwon, he's still so incredibly guilty, and completely convinced that he isnt worth love or life whatsoever and that jay still hates his guts. and, jungwon... he doesn't even want to think about jungwon. how he failed him. how he let him down. but, niki slowly works through the insecurities, bit by bit: assuring heeseung that, no, even though jay will definitely rip him a new one once he sees him again, he'll also cry and hug him for at least 24 hours because he misses him like hell and heeseungie hyung you have no idea.

they weather a lot together. storms, mental breakdowns, bouts of blood-starvation so severe heeseung thinks he'll lose it again: but they're there for each other. they hunt, talk, keep each other warm, and in it, form an unbreakable bond. niki had heard tales of the legendary lee heeseung, who wiped out entire armies in two seconds flat and comforted his friends when they were sad and annoyed jay to the very ends of the earth: but what he's faced with is a man with more insecurities than niki has hairs on his head—and he has a lot of hairs on his head.

by the time they make it back to the coven's home, heeseung has grown sufficiently attached to the enigma that is niki, and has almost completely but it out of his mind that he's here for his old friends, too. he's only doing this for niki: it's a fact he's comfortable with. so when they reach the front steps he just... freezes.

i have a very clear image of it in my head—jungwon, jay, and jake sense niki's presence, in some weird vampire-y way. it's been around 10, 15 years since he left at this point, so of course they rush out to greet him, ready with scoldings and lashings about how stupid he had been (after, of course, making sure he's unharmed and alright)—but it all dies on their tongues as soon as they see who's with him.

frozen. everything is frozen.

i imagine it's a lot like lulu and artzyy's post. jungwon is the first to move, stepping forward and whimpering out a broken "hyung", and all heeseung's guilt and avoidance is forgotten in favor of cradling jungwon to his chest, holding him close and whispering reassurances into the crown of his head, wonnie, im so sorry, hyung's so sorry; i didn't mean to leave you for so long, i'm here now, its okay. and of course then jay comes in, crying and screaming about how the fuck is it okay, how can it ever be okay, how could you just not mean to leave us alone for 1500 years?! how the fuck do you just expect to waltz back into our lives like nothing ever happened and pretend its all okay?!? and then he hits him, and hurts him, tries to make him feel even an inkling of the hurt he was made to feel for the past fifteen hundred years—but then punching him turns into fisting hands into the back of his shirt and sobbing into his neck and holding him so tight he wouldn't be able to breath if he had the need to and please, please don't leave, why would you leave, you asshole, why did you leave?

so yeah. things happen. reunions are had, tears are shed. some indirect heewon love confessions probably happen later on in the form of very intense devotions of life and self and all that. "walking on the single-log bridge in the dark really isnt so bad" you know the whole shbang. meanwhile jay salty in the background just like "cant you just say you love each other like normal human beings jesus fucking christ"

jayseung's relationship (or the reigniting of it) is, well, rocky. they're both conflicted—jay even more than heeseung. because, the thing is, heeseung killed sunoo. as regretful as he is, that doesn't make it any easier to forget. but he's back, and alive, and in one piece, and he isn't leaving, and jay knows it wasn't really his fault, he wasn't in control—but he killed him. he killed their brother. and it WAS his own stupid fault for losing control in the first place, for not listening to jungwon, so what the hell is jay supposed to think? he flip-flops between being intensely grateful that heeseung is back and okay and finally with them again, and then remembering what he's done, giving him the cold shoulder and not speaking to him for hours on end. and all the while, heeseung is riddled with guilt, and shame, and grief he'd suppressed for far too long; niki's stubbornness combined with jungwon's unwavering support being the only things keeping him from bolting into oblivion all over again. all in all, it's a difficult time—but they get there. eventually.

naturally, they save sunghoon. what else is there to do? they defeat the queen, break her control over their friend—and then jakehoon have their own teary reunion, not unlike heewon's, and sungki have theirs, not unlike jayseung's (although with a... considerable decrease in cursing and conflicted emotions, and a lot more immediate sobbing). they're a mess—sunghoon is traumatized, heeseung is traumatized, jay and niki are traumatized, they're all just fucking traumatized. jayseung will probably take a long time to get back to the way they once were, if it's even possible—there'll always be an empty space there, something gone, something missing, and it's one that can't be filled. jungwon barely lets heeseung out of sight or touch alike, and heeseung isn't much better off. jay's always been the more touchy one out of the three of them; but after years of missing, of longing, there's plenty of time to be made up, and heeseung is just... so, so soft, and warm, and being held by him is the loveliest thing jungwon's ever known.

AND NOW A SUNOO THING, BECAUSE THE IDEA OF ENHA LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER AS OT6 WITH SUNOO JUST FUCKING DEAD DOES. NOT WORK FOR ME

so like. sunoo isn't dead, or he doesn't stay dead, or not the soulless-unmoving kind of dead anyway. you know how necromancy and fierce corpses exist in donghua and shit? well they exist here too because fuck you and also i said so. i made myself sad and now im making it happy again goddamnit.

anyway. after he dies, sunoo gets found by the queen, too, and because she's all-powerful and whatnot she fucking necromances him—figures he'll be useful later. as he is, though, he's basically nothing more than a puppet; like wen ning and song lan were when they were being controlled. his soul isn't... gone exactly, just imprisoned, prevented from being able to come forward and command his body.

so. sunoo is still partially alive, and the boys (jay, jake, jungwon, sunghoon, niki, and whatnot)... don't know that. i imagine that for pretty much the entirety of the centuries that heeseung is gone, sunoo's status as a necromanced fierce corpse goes entirely unknown to them, and it's only after heeseung is brought back by niki that he starts to resurface. i imagine they realize it in a sort of tense, action-filled scenario: the boys have gone to investigate another attack, thinking it's sunghoon, but as it turns out the queen has had TWO undead corpses running around doing her dirty work instead of one. and one of them is sunoo.

heeseung and jay, of course, are stunned. they cant believe it's real; it isn't real, it can't be—and yet.

a lot of angsty plot stuff happens—i dont have the energy or enough shits to give to figure out what. the thing is, the queen only kept sunoo this long and brought him out as a tactic to lure heeseung, make him weaker; and it probably worked. in the midst of both fighting against sunghoon and fighting to SAVE sunghoon, heeseung is bent on saving sunoo as well, and there's probably a lot of very angsty talk wherein there are disagreements about who's life, really, is more important in this situation, and if heeseung is just trying to make up for what he did to sunoo. regardless, heeseung ends up saving sunoo and bringing his soul back to the surface. what he doesn't expect is for sunoo to forgive him—fully and wholeheartedly. and it feels wrong, because no, you should be angry with me, you should hate me and want to hurt me like i hurt you; but sunoo is just... happy. happy that he's back, happy that heeseung is back, happy that they're all together again. and its conflicting, to say the least. even moreso because sunoo isnt stupid—he didnt just act like heeseung was an innocent who did no wrong; he knew he had been wreckless, knew he was at fault, and he forgave him still. loved him still. that was something heeseung... hadn't been prepared for.

like i said in the last part, they save sunghoon; how, im not sure, but they save him, probably with a fair bit of sunoo's help, and they're together again. only the tiny difference here is that sunoo is with them too. sunoo is back, and the gang has yet another undead bestie to teach the ropes of being a vampire to. things are awkward, obviously, especially between the original brother's trio of heeseung, sunoo, and jay; because sunoo is his usual sweet and kind self while jay believes that he should be more angry at heeseung for killing him, heeseung agrees, and jay has some very conflicted feelings about how self-depricating his hyung is being (because like... yeah you killed sunoo and im supposed to hate you but you're not supposed to hate yourself, you idiot, what the fuck?)

(also like. if we're gonna take some more crumbs from cql canon here im gonna go ahead and say sunoo's death was at least somewhat self-sacrificial, even if it was heeseung that ended up causing it in the end)

(i kind of love how jiang cheng-y i made enhaverse jay here to be honest)

(okay this has been in my drafts WAY too long because ive been waiting for some miraculous Other Detail i need to add to pop up in my mind, but honestly i can just add anything else i think of in a reblog afterwards, this bitch just needs to see the light of day)

[yikesharringrove]

I dont know if I'm the only person who does this, whenever I have a fic or a headcanon I always have very small details about things that dont make it in just cause of how obscure they are, I was wondering if you had any of these for Steve with an ED? I know you cover most of it in your ballet au (I dont know how to spell the name-) But do u have any other thoughts on it?:)

I’m gonna put it under the little cut bc it got super long and it’s just a lot about eating disorders

So, I’ll do one for La Sylphide, and another just like, headcanons abt Steve with an ED

So, for La Sylphide, I actually have a deleted scene from Christmas break where Billy and Steve run into Tommy and he starts saying shit to and about Steve and getting really mean and aggressive, I mentioned Steve being bullied in high school and I wanted to bring this in and have that trigger Steve purging. Billy was gonna fight Tommy.

In that story, a lot of Steve’s dysmorphia and dysphoria go hand in hand. Because they’re gender non conforming and later come out as nonbinary, they have trouble identifying their dysphoria. They don’t have the vocabulary for it and it translates into this desire to do anything to be perfect. I mention in the fic that they take it to extremes because they are so lost in what “perfect” would be for them, they rely on the idea of the perfect ballerina.

Growing up in ballet, I knew a lot of people with eating disorders. Like, I had three really close dance friends all growing up, two of them struggled with an ED. I have one that I refuse to admit pls don’t look at me so this was based on that. Most professional ballerinas tend not to suffer from this, because they work out so much, and usually, they are just lucky genetically, but lemme tell ya, ballerinas going through puberty? Developing hips and cellulite and breasts? That can throw everything for a loop.

I think that when Steve reached this junction, going from growth spurt lankiness to developing muscle, broadening out, thickening up, that’s when the body issues began. They were finding a more adult body, one that is naturally thicker, but also they were finding a more “masculine” body and that was a real issue for them that they didn’t realize until they further understood their gender identity.

I think the eating disorder set in with the bullying, as well as the neglect and general abuse from their parents. They aren’t getting love, and they can’t figure out why, and since they already have an issue with their own body and weight, they decide that must be the issue.

In the fic, I kinda pictured them just eating enough to not pass out during a rigorous class, and then purging after class. But their bulimia is also super reactionary. Whenever something bad happens, typically with their parents, or with the whole Alex situation, their first instinct is to purge. This is linked to where it all came from, they are trying to figure out why they’re not getting the love they so desperately want.

There’s also such a vision in ballet of the perfect body, that when you don’t fit that, it can be detrimental. Steve saw themself as not fitting that mold, but knew that ballet was it for them, that’s all they ever wanted to do, and would do anything to get it. It all kinda blend together.

-

Now for regular Steve ED headcanons:

I have something halfway written, don’t know if I’ll finish it tbh, about Steve finding diet pills in his mom’s vanity. It kind of focuses on him slowly going through different forms of EDs, and it all centers around his mother calling him beautiful and saying “all we have is our looks”, kinda projecting onto him bc a lot of moms do that :/ and people in his life telling him stuff like “well, you’re lucky you’re pretty” so he has it ingrained in him that he’s a pretty face and that’s it, so he begins to hyper analyze his body, and the more he thinks about it, the more he spirals.

It goes into him talking about his body, and how beautiful he thinks it is, like he’s reached his final form, and he's like, emaciated. He talks about how elegant his collarbone looks sticking out, like that kinda thing. So it derives from this high society, from this everything is perfect, and I’m perfect, and my life is perfect aren’t I wonderful, as well as the pressure around him to be The Best, to be King Steve, to be this shining model of everything one should want, and his dad putting high expectations on him and then, losing his shit when Steve doesn’t reach them.

In either scenario, it comes from his parents, this one it’s just mostly his mother projecting her issues onto him until he collapses under them.

Here’s a snippet of the ficlet:

Billy wouldn’t understand. “Why are you doing this?”

Because of a mother that always said our looks are all we have and Steven, must you eat like such a piglet? and a father that would say if you were a girl I’d tell you to marry well and people respect you if you’ve got money and looks. Don’t be an idiot and lose them.

“It’s what I want.”

“It’s killing you.”

[jellyfishdooter]

LISTEN

I HAVE VERY LOW IMPULSE CONTROL

In spite of the current community fire I give you this Rise of the Guardians AU

Character explanations/ mini story under the cut

So after watching Rise of the Guardians (one of my fav animated movies) I got the idea for an AU where the egos are like the Guardians of the JSE community.

Their designs are based off/ inspired by the characters in the movie but instead of just drawing the egos as those characters, I more so let them inspire re-creations of their outfits/ powers

Chase: Jack Frost- Guardian of Family

In the beginning he doesn’t see himself as a guardian. He’s a screw up, a washout. But even through his depression he tries to make others happy before himself. He does this by having fun and trying to get those in the community to join in with him! It’s later on that he realizes he has a part to play and that his is making sure everyone is still together as one big community. He’s here to remind us that in troubling times that we all have each other- that we’re all family.

JBM: Santa- Guardian of Hope

Being the super hero of the group, it’s JBM’s job to protect the innocent and give off the appearance of being something people can depend upon- someone who can protect everyone from danger. He helps the community become strong and makes them laugh along the way (even if he has to make a fool of himself to do it, he loves our smiles)- he gives them hope.

Marvin: Tooth Fairy- Guardian of Creativity (Sams: small Tooth Fairies)

Much like tooth fairy in the movie, it’s Marvin’s job to collect fanart/ fanworks and store them so when the community forgets all that they have built together, he shows them. Not only that, he inspires the content creators and represents their passion for their art. And it’s what he protects. (Along with the help of the little Sams who are the ones who actually collects and re-distributes it so everyone can see what they’ve made.)

Jameson: Sandman- Guardian of Positivity

Arguably one of the most important guardians of the community, JJ is there to remind people the importance of PMA. In his own quiet ways, he encourages the members to think on the bright side- or is just there to give hugs and be there for them. Whenever someone is in such a dark place, he uses his powers to show them that they still have so much potential and that they’re not alone. He give them a light in a dark place to hold onto. (Yes, he uses sign language AND the sand symbols for those who don’t understand sign)

Schneep: Bunny- Guardian of Health

Being the good doctor of the group, he’s there to remind the community to take care of themselves. Yes he may be a lil aggressive in the way he gives out advice, but for a lot of people they need their butts a little kicks to get them moving to help themselves. But not only physical health, he’s also willing to sit down and talk about mental health and analyze what the problem is/ works to help you understand how to improve yourself.

Anti: The Boogieman- “Guardian” of Fear and Chaos

And last but not least, our dear little firestarter. For so LONG he’s waited, waited to be in the spotlight. Before the other egos show up it was just him and it was delicious. He had so much power as he fed off of our fears, insecurities, and of course the headcanons and theories we made about him. But then Jack HAD to make more egos and fill the community with positivity and light. So he sunk back and waited for his opportunity- he waited for his powers to grow strong in the background. And with all of the hints being dropped and community fueling the fire in a continuous positive feedback loop, he gains more and more strength every day. He reminds the community not everything is peachy and rosy. That there are awful things in the world and how you’re just a tiny ripple in a storming ocean. Insignificant. He doesn’t want to stamp out the community- that would be counterproductive. No he just wants them to feel fear for the channel- that nothing is safe anymore- at any turn he could be there. And with that everything always comes back to him.

And sooner or later, the others will fade away...

Extra Headcanons/ Tidbits:

Before they were all guardians they were other people. (TW: death and suicide mentions) -Anti was a reckless criminal and one night his “friends” betrayed him, leaving him behind which wound up being the end of him. They were running from the police and were trying to jump a tall fence when his comrades left the struggling man behind to take the fall. He did in more ways than one. -JBM was just a regular dude, but he sacrificed himself to save a kid getting hit by a bus in the city. Even though he was about to die he kept asking if the kid was okay. The medics told him he saved them and that’s all he needed to hear. -Marvin was a street magician in his time. He did tricks to cheer up people sitting on the sidewalk/ sitting alone and talked to them about their passions. Later the same people would come back and tell him about the new job they got or the current project they were working on. He pulled a teen off the side of a bridge and a local cop mistook it for him attacking her and.. well.. things escalated quickly -Henrik was an upstanding surgeon. He saved lives every day in his career. Even though his wife and child left him, he worked every day to become a better doctor and continued to save people. And after the surgeries he would personally counsel the patients to make sure they were okay physically and mentally. But one day.. they didn’t have a matching organ for the patient on standby.. and he knew he matched the credentials. -Jameson was a small movie star in his time. And when he wasn’t filming he went down in quiet to lift the spirits of homeless children and teens. He would put on small performances and then go around to each of them and comfort them if they said it was okay. He made sure by the end of his visit they were all in high spirit. But one day the filming studio caught fire. The smoke damaged his lungs so he couldn’t call out before the building collapsed. -And Chase... He had a loving wife and two kids who he cared for with his life. He vowed to himself to protect them, even though his wife turned into a bitch as the years went on. One night they were walking home from a day at the amusement park and Chase got jumped with his kids nearby. The criminal threatened to kill the kids if Chase didn’t comply. So to protect them, he did as the criminal said, handing over his wallet and watch and phone. And when the criminal was about to kill one of them anyway, instinct took over and Chase knocked the man down and knocked him out- but when he fell the gun went off

The lights on the globe are the septiclights, each one representing a person in the community

Instead of holidays, the guardians help in the background of charity livestreams and videos to give them that little extra spark.

Sean is the equivalent of the Man in the Moon

The extra fan-made egos (like Robbie, Shawn, Angus, and Bing) are still around, they just aren’t the big guardians.

If they were tho... Robbie- Guardian of Innocence, Shawn- Guardian of Voice, Angus- Guardian of... idk, Protection? Or maybe head cannons lol, Bing- Guardian of Online Connections

When too much of the community becomes afraid/ depressed, the guardian’s form changes (like in the movie) before they disappear -JBM: Becomes weaker, probably needs his glasses to see again, basically turned into a comicbook nerd -Marvin: Loses a lot of his color, magic goes away, turns into a cat? -Henrik: Hands continuously shake, gains a stutter so people can hardly understand him, becomes super paranoid/ closed off -JJ: His colors fade to black and white, it’s really hard to summon his powers, always about to cry/ wants to scream -Chase: Goes into a low state of depression, isolates himself a lot -Anti: His bravado diminishes- basically turns into an edgy teen with spasms instead of actual glitches, wound on his neck closes.

Like in the movie there’s a point where Anti takes over (like right now) and everyone’s powers start to fade

To make this angsty(er) he manages to kill JJ and he disappears, along with the light of positivity in the community.

Chase blames himself for not being fast enough to save him

To turn thing around Henrik suggests a charity livestream to promote a mental health organization. So they all work together to prep

A young community member somehow gets into Henrik’s realm

Memes and shenanigans ensue

“We spend all our time trying to protect the community, we don’t HAVE TIME-... for the community..?”

Chase runs off after young familiar voices calling out for their daddy

Chase ends up in Anti’s realm of fear(the opening is in the woods under an abandoned computer desk). It’s a series of twisted hallways bathed in red light and entire walls of glitching computer screens that cast weird shadows

When Chase gets out he realizes all the equipment is destroyed and he wasn’t there to help

Henrik blames Chase and sad dad runs off.

The community is plunged into a state of fire and fear and there’s no positivity anywhere to be found.

Except one last light...

A fan is talking to a Sam plushie, saying that yeah they understand why the stream COULD have been cancelled.. but everything in their life is just so dark they were really looking forward to it.

Chase finds them and uses his powers to make images of septic lights and funny moments in Jack’s videos

They realize it’s Chase who’s doing it and can see him

All the egos fight Anti with the help of a few community members beside them- giving them power to fight back.

The members bring back JJ

JJ kicks the ever living shit out of Anti with the help of the others beside him Okay I think I’ll stop here XD If you read all this... wowie!

[aceyanaheim]

What are your Kaiba thoughts for the Send Me a Character ask?

hmm

I’m guessing you mean Seto Kaiba but..imma do all 3 because i can.

Seto Kaiba

First impression

What a BAMF!

( I was a child and very tiny and kinda fairly very bullied and Seto was...well he broke into his own house and jumped out a window. And he could fight. I was sold. I wanted to be like him.) I also sided with him over Yugi on most things...including friendship and speeches.

Impression now

Maaaaaaaaac freakin dork ass curt ass dramatic af  child with anger issues and trauma someone help him someone help him Now.

I also ( obviously) now side with Yugi over Seto on the whole friendship deal. (But I get Seto’s reaction on an almost instinctive level and still love him a lot.)

( Like..dont get it wrong. I poke fun at him because of how much he reminds of me as a kid but...I adore him and I’ll defend him from near anyone. Okay no I won’t because im a coward who goes into fight-or-flight at the mere thought of char-disc-0urse but like still 

I love the kid.  Him good child. Deserves all the happiness and good fortune. I want to see him grow up healthypng.)

Favorite moment

hmm. I haven’t seen him since the show was new so its foggy but..Imma say any time he either shares screen time with Mokuba or snarks at Joey. ( at Joey specifically because oh lord “Mokuba make sure Wheeler’s late” still sends me into a laughing spell. ( mind you I adore Joey too but  uh..yeah. Snarking Seto is best Seto)

Idea for a story

Right now the one I have is a crossover with xmen where Laura Kinney becomes his and Mokuba’s bodyguard. It has ended up becoming 3 separate verses because i couldn’t decide between comic!book Laura and Logan!Laura and also at what time in both their stories I wanted them because I am the opposite of competent and know no hubris.

It’s eking along kinda slow-like tho. Because writing Seto’s hard for me. I feel like a lot of people have done it better already. So I don’t know that it’ll get done.

Also I don’t know how to keep her from killing Pegasus.

I also had an idea for him and Tea becoming friends in like therapy or something but that never kicked off. Although it’s worth mentioning I’d like to explore the concept of what it would take for them to get along.

Unpopular opinion

He’s a good person I guess? I’ve heard that’s unpopular but haven’t seen it. He deserves a shot at a happy life. He’s a good person? He has never ( to my knowledge) been unkind to Mokuba and even if he was being angry in one moment in your life isn’t some kinda morality indicator especially when it comes to children. Especially traumatized to high heaven children who just keep getting traumatized so no Mokuba didn’t “deserve a better brother” or w/e both Seto and Mokuba deserved better period and can people just enjoy the show which is about forgiveness and friendship anyways good golly. 

I mean..yeah I guess I got a few.

 Another one that I think might be unpopular but I don’t know due to not really publicizing it is that Seto and Yugi....actually aren’t that different at the core? Like if you took Seto away from a lot of the Tragic Backstory stuff he might end up..not exactly like Yugi but not that different either. They’d have a lot in common.

Favorite relationship

Him and Mokuba. Hands down.

Favorite headcanon

Ohshoot do i even have one hm. This ask covers a lot of the headcanons I have for him..but I guess my favorite is him liking children followed by the one that he does math equations and formulas when he’s bored.

I also share a lot of the ones @iced-blood has posted due to most of my exposure to the character coming from his fic after I stopped watching the show so a lot of his headcanons are up there too.

Mokuba Kaiba

First impression

He’s adorable. Protect him.

Impression now

He’s adorable and tiny. Protect him.

Favorite moment

Either him in the beginning of the Noah arc since we get to see him know how to operate the computers in KC or when he’s telling Alistair off in Awaken The Dragons

Basically any time he’s not getting captured again for the plot tho.

Idea for a story

I have a couple drabbles based on @kintatsujo‘s age swap AU...and her In The Back Of My Brain AU, alot of her AUS give me ideas actually ( which of course id ask for permission before pursuing)  but nothing concrete.

Oh and the xmen crossover mentioned above.  Mokuba’s a fair share of that since in one of them Laura’s his bodyguard rather than Seto’s. ( in another Gozaburo gets Laura as protection for Seto while still being abusive and they both shake him off. Like I said it’s..it’s splintered into a lot)

Unpopular opinion

I..don’t think I have any? I don’t really know what opinions are popular tbqh. I guess if anything i saw here is then that.

Favorite relationship

Him and Seto. 

Favorite headcanon

His hair’s a liability I speak from experience.

I guess I’m a fan of the shared headcanon that Mokuba wears heelys. I like the idea that he’s not a genius like his brother and maybe he doesn’t get HIgh HIGH grades and maybe that’s okay ( as someone who has a complex relationship with academics I guess thats something I wish i saw more often yknow) because he’s smart in different ways.

I like the idea of Mokuba being athletically inclined like skate boarding or parkour or being involved in some sport at school I mean he roped climbed out a window in his intro episode so its not that outlandish.

I actually don’t have that many headcanons for this kid. I should fix that.

Noah Kaiba

First impression

Yikes. What  a freakin loon. ( first episode) Oh no..he’s lonely and abandoned. Oh no oh no oh no. ( later episodes in the arc) Okay but he’s still a mean dude ( when he turns ppl to stone) Oh no...he died...and he turned around at the last minute WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DONT GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN. ( at the end)

( yeah Noah took kid!Me through the freakin wringer)

Impression now

He was a child. And his father left him to rot. 

He deserved so much better. 

I love him. I cry and screech about him needing things monthly and sometimes weekly. 

Favorite moment

When he turned around to fight Gozaburo. Also the scenes where you see Mokuba getting to him.

Idea for a story

I guess-no I know a lot of people have done it better but I like the idea of a canondivergence where he’s spared and/or rescued by Seto.

I also like the idea of crossovers with shows like Digimon or Code Lyoko where you have digital worlds.

I just don’t want to be alone and i want him to have nice things okay. That’s..that’s all i want..from life.

Unpopular opinion

Probs that he was an actual smol child and got a raw deal and Deserved Better. ( tm) ( you’ll find thats..my beat with a lot of characters ^-^:) 

Favorite relationship

He...doesnt have any? In fics where he gets brought back like Paved With Good Intentions ( specifically Blue Eyes Violet Eyes) I like seeing his relationships with the other Kaibas. But as far as Canon goes...yeah there’s none.

Favorite headcanon

He’s very tactile. He liked running his hands through his dog’s fur and it always got to him that digitized it..wasn’t the same.

Following that he used to be very physically affectionate before Gozaburo started discouraging it.

Following that if he was to be brought out of the digital place/rescued I think he’d be pretty clingy. I mean because of the tactile thing and because..he’d need to reassure himself the world around him is real.  

If he had been allowed to live he’d probably think he didn’t deserve it/that he has to Atone for the stuff he’s done.

His whole world was his father and even when he hated him he loved him. He wanted nothing more than to be held by him again. That’s why the abandonment stung so much, there’s nothing like hating and being hurt by someone you love...and still having a part of you love them. A part of him still wonders what he did to get left behind. That’s a big part of what drove him to the deep end.

Character Asks Meme

[lunuanaki]

Your favorite ship. I'm talking about the one that gives you the butterflies and happy feel good feelings. Talk to me about that. I wanna know what your brain words say about it. :)

THANK YOU, SYN, FOR SENDING ME THIS MESSAGE WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD because probably they know what’s going to happen and they don’t want any part of it---  *glares at entire dash like that one picture of the assmad cartoon pig*

I’m going to cut this because it’ll definitely get long, but... if you wanna know what kind of ships I would throw myself in front of a ruby dragon for, you’re boutta find out... I’m gonna explain it for the unfamiliar as well, though. So I get to talk more. I don’t know how anyone on this website could dislike this ship. Fight me. Anyone who reads this and agrees gets the warm fuzzy feeling of my everlasting favour. 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

It’s Velka and Gwyndolin, is anyone surprised?! Nahhh... BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THEM BC I BET YOU DONT KNOW EM?!For those unfamiliar with Dark S//ouls, Gwyndolin is the youngest child of the Great Lord Gwyn, God of War/Sun/Lightning, all that big noisy man stuff. Gwyndolin was born weak and fragile and corpse-white, so, realising he wasn’t much of a trophy child, Gwyn raised him as a girl. Gwyn’s rejection never quite sat well with him, though - he’s always been insecure about his appearance and how others interpret it. He hates being stared at, and has been known to kill servants who aren’t careful where they look. Actually, he’s not fussy about murder in general, but he does have a strong sense of who deserves it and who doesn’t.Gwyndolin’s talents lie in moon-related magic and archery. As an adult, he still presents as female, he’s still horribly weak in a physical sense, paper-white, and for unspecified-in-canon reasons, has six or eight snakes where his legs should be (he still has legs, but the snakes tend to boost him off the floor). I’m not going to link any images. Picture white silk, gold, delicate, intricately made bows and faintly glowing arrows, and a gold mask he hides his face behind that mimics the shape of the sun his dad is so obsessed with.His canon personality is cold and apathetic; this is no tragic princess to be rescued. Suggest as much, or try to cross him, and he will kill you where you stand, with a shot so fast you’d never see him draw the arrow, or raise his staff. He leads a covenant of followers who hunt down sinners. As proof that they killed for their master, these followers tear off their victim’s ear and bring it to his doorstep for his approval. He’s pure grace and moonlight, and the definition of the phrase “glass cannon”. He knows his place, and even though he will never be a true part of Gwyn’s family, at least to his father, he works to support them. You can kill him in-game; if you do, the sun will go out. It was an illusion. The sun went out in Anor Londo centuries ago; Gwyndolin has been maintaining the false image of its better days, as a comfort to visiting Undead, even though it must grate at his soul to do it. His title is Dark Sun. This is not his natural habitat. 

Velka. Velka is a name, and a concept. That’s all we get in-game. She appeared in the third game as a statue (that confirmed my headcanon appearance for her to be spot on). Her title is Goddess of Sin. She’s known for being sneaky, “eccentric witch”, difficult, changeable. Gwyn’s friendship with her was always rocky; she could see his pride and his self interest, and he knew she waited for the day he met her judgement. Flames help him; after the massacre of the dragons, if he ever knelt at her feet, it would be the last thing he did. If Gwyn is the sun, she is the darkness waiting for him to sink below the horizon. Her covenant are absolvers of sin, for a price, their faces covered to separate them from the material world. She has no concept of the Christian idea of sin, because that just doesn’t exist in Lordran. Sin is decided based on her moral compass - conflicting philosophies, like the Way of White, might claim she has none, because she sees no inherent sin in drinking, or sex, or gambling, as long as no ill intent or effect is there. She only wears black, silver, and that one splash of red, the wedding ring from the husband she outlived. She was human once; not a born Lord like Gwyndolin. That mortal vitality is still about her; she never had the luxury of living without the concept of death. Picture extremely long, thick black hair (that she’s famous for in game), crystal-clear lavender eyes, blood red lips, porcelain-coloured skin and purple dark circles, lace and velvet. Her mother taught her to scheme and spy her way up. Gwyndolin was naturally suspicious of her at first, as he should have been. But their covenants had a mutual interest, and she began to supply her list of unrepentant sinners for his covenant to hunt down. It became a bonding ritual, I think both of them enjoyed it more than they’d admit. 

Gwyndolin to begin to get. Jealous. Velka was known for spending nights with anyone she pleased, servant to knight, never getting attached to any of them. There were rumours that the crown prince of sunlight himself was on that list. Gwyndolin seemed to be the only one she wouldn’t look at in that way. Was that because of the way he looked? Did she pity or avoid him the way everyone else did, even after all this time? Every hour she spent with one of them was one she wasn’t with him. His own anger at her is confusing to him, because he’s never had any interest in anyone, male or female, not like this. It was, she said, because she valued him more than one of her throwaways. She paid close attention to him, enough to know he didn’t like to be approached like that, or looked at. Whenever people had shown interest in him before, he’d assumed they were mocking him. She didn’t want to make him feel the way they did, so she was content with the distance she stayed at, as long as she could pride herself on being the one he was most comfortable with. It was selfish, really, but she liked being his favourite, so she’d do anything to stay that way. Velka does not recognise the word love, because she’s never experienced it before, so she doesn’t use it, not yet.

When they finally stopped dancing around each other, her reputation for impropriety died, along with anyone who spoke about her like that in front of Gwyndolin. Gwyndolin is extremely possessive, and Velka, for once, finds she wants to be possessed. There’s still no power imbalance, though. With her support, Gwyndolin’s confidence can develop (she’s so proud of everything he does). With his favour, she can’t be sidelined as badly as before. They have to be careful as a couple, because it’s dangerous to be seen that way. Not because “Gwyn won’t approve of her”, but because between them, with their combined covenants, Gwyn’s distrust of her, and the growing unrest among Gwyn’s human subjects, they present a very real threat to the throne, and as if to prove their point, Gwyn will soon exile his own son and heir for less.

They’re like Morticia and Gomez, if all that overly romantic stuff were silent. Because they don’t need to say anything. Like the time he panicked over an instinctive murder of a wayward servant, and she helped him clean the blood off his hands and let him calm down alone when she wanted to kiss him until he remembered how much more important he was than such a silly mistake as that - to her, and who else matters? Or the time someone made an untoward comment about her at the dinner table and no one saw Gwyndolin draw the arrow, just the sight of it hit the speaker and kill them instantly. She only laughed as politely as she could, because he already knows how much she adores his overprotective homicidal tendencies, and he thrives off it. Her sense of justice has a blind spot that exists just for him, and she can forgive him anything.

There’s a little piece of lore in the game that says Velka sided against the gods in a war, and lost. The AU that could happen if they won gives me life. If they won, she wouldn’t have taken Gwyn’s place herself, she would have given it to Gwyndolin. They would make a terrifying but brilliant leader between them. The sun would set in Anor Londo for good, and Gwyndolin’s intelligence and clarity would get a chance to prove itself more useful than Gwyn’s brute force and genocide tactics. Gwyndolin isn’t much for titles, but you can be damn sure Velka would take it. If it made Gwyn turn in his grave to hear her called Queen, she’d insist on it, after the way she watched him treat Gwyndolin. As if he weren’t worthy of Gwyn’s pathetic legacy. 

Of course, as the series goes, in the third game, Gwyndolin is gone. Reportedly cannibalised by a cult leader and his apprentice while he was weak and sick. Velka’s verse for that revolves around her finding and saving him - whatever that means. 

If anyone stuck with me this long, please offer me emotional support, because I am compromised. I haven’t run out of words or feelings, I’ve run out of energy to convey them. These two are precious to me. Not only is there all this intensity and unrelenting devotion behind them, they take the usual framework for a hetero relationship, shatter it and piece it back together in completely the “wrong” order. Velka has some of the masculine traits, the forcefulness of her mannerisms, the proactively destructive one, however undercover it might be. Gwyndolin is the formal, delicate, princessly one, and has to be pushed to react badly. Both of them are beautiful, in totally opposing ways. You would usually expect the  female to be the sexually inexperienced one and the male to be the opposite, but that’s flipped on its head as well. And yet, the hyper-feminine one is Velka. Gwyndolin is androgynous, even in feminine clothing. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a pairing where each one adds to the others’ existence to such a degree as they do. I reject the events of the second and third games and substitute my own, because anything else is a waste of one of the best pairs I’ve seen in anything, ever. I don’t think I’ll ever top some of the threads I did with enasaliin with these two, honestly, I might as well log out and never come back. I have to go do some starters now. My heart hurts. ;-;