#finally getting a use out of my big ass comic panels folder

[abisalli]

some panel redraws with young just us

[ifievertoldyou]

the long awaited wip graveyard post

i thought the title was fitting for halloween :p

this post is an assorted collection of all my old thaw wips that i deemed not good enough to post, but didn't want to just rot away in my folder, so now they're here.

enjoy !

-

the Eye post

fun fact: i used the same seven colored pencils for both the thes eye and the tommy one, i just made the grayer shades more emphasized for the latter. thought that was a neat little detail.

q's eye here makes his skin look a lil more purple

i impulsively gave quackity an eyebrow when i didn't sketch it before, and the way it turned out bothered me >:((

not a wip because i absolutely would never give this abomination its own post, but this is basically what my scratch paper sheet looks like when i want to test out how different colors look with each other, and also get a really, Really rough idea of what the final product will look like. this is the process i go through Every time i draw something serious. 😭

peep all 7 colors of the chaosduo's eyes under the thes eye practice

LMAO AND THE THES FACE 8 SECOND SKETCH LOOKS LIKE HE'S ON DRUGS IT'S SO SILLY

can you see me struggling to figure out how to wrap the rune around q's pupil? and also how to make the rune not just Completely disappear bc of how dark his eye is? yeah. traditional art is a pain is the ass sometimes, but i'm still wayy better at it.

also shoutout to @alexanderwesker for giving me an idea of what the rune on q's eye looks like, because i like being as accurate as i can when i draw stuff, so that was very much appreciated!

the part 2 to the hero's journey comic

i went fucking Ham during the hero's journey assignment, so much so that i literally planned like 19 more panels than what you saw in the original post (27 panels planned in total). but then i realized that i had like Four Whole Days to do that assignment, and would definitely not be able to do that many, especially not without burning out.

so i instead settled for the very first 8 panels that i planned (though even then, i had to abridge a lot of it, and also cut slime entirely from it, bc otherwise those 8 would have been 14 whole panels, and i think i would actually die-), since that was just enough to show two different steps of the hero's journey (crossing the threshold and meeting the mentor btw. i could probably do a whole analysis on how wesker's stories fit into the hero's journey if i wanted to, but i'm lazy rn and this post is already pretty long), and that was the big grading requirement. (i got 100% on that assignment btw 💪and my english teacher still has no clue that he graded minecraft fanfiction fanart LMAO) but this one is what i would have included if i had more time on the project, and could include more of the story, but as it stands, i made this one in my own leisure, because comics are fun to do.

anyways, with that little rant aside, i tried my best to make q look younger than quackity, and really accentuate the difference between them. idk how i feel about how q turned out though.

i'm really proud of the paneling, and i'm also kinda proud of the first frame with quackity's face in particular bc i thought it looked cool, like an actual comic book or something. but i couldn't figure out the card physics or perspective and that's what ultimately made me choose to abandon it 💔 maybe i'll try attempting this page again when i'm feeling more daring (as well as the other panels that i still haven't even drawn yet), but this wip has been collecting dust for a couple of months now so i figured i'd share it here anyway.

Palido

i drew palido a bit ago, but bro got somehow managed to get crinkled in my bag, even while literally being Inside of my sketchbook 🤨

it's not Too awfully noticeable though, especially bc the fold isn't On the drawing itself, so i might be able to salvage him and post a finished version someday... but i kinda halted progress on him for the time being bc of it, so here he is. </3

"Am I Still Even Me?"

i 1000% want to redraw this someday, just because i think the idea behind it is so fucking neat.

honestly, this one wasn't too bad at all, especially since i did all of it (besides the bones bc i think my health professions teacher would be disappointed if i got them wrong, and also the rune bc i care way too much about accuracy) without any reference, which is a pretty impressive feat for me and my aphantasia. but yeahh i think it could definitely be better, and really, this drawing was ultimately something that i just drew in class to keep myself busy for a bit bc i had way too much freetime that day. it wasn't intended to be post-worthy or anything.

but i think that the idea behind it is definitely post-worthy. maybe i'll even add a thes and/or youngerbur addition once i get more information about them and just how they've changed yk.

i had no clue how to draw the bones in that position, i probably could've done more research but. yeah no i don't have an excuse, i just couldn't be bothered that day lmao.

i was also gonna bloody q's hands a bit if i ever got to the coloring stage. like a little nod to when he lost himself to Madness. is the blood actually there? who knows, we're seeing it from his eyes, so for all we know, the rune isn't even lit up either, and he's just remembering it being so. remembering the moment he acted so unlike how he used to be.

the bones are definitely there for charlie though, poor guy...

also can y'all tell that i drew the rune in like. 5 seconds. bc yeah.

i had way more wips to share but i have literally no clue where they went, and also the tumblr picture limit is getitng close so ig that's all for now </3

like for a part 2 (whenever i accumulate enough wips to warrant a post, that is)

[j-esbian]

Just Go With It

I’ve got an @mlsecretsanta​ gift for... *squints at the shipping label* @ladyblackcats​! Hmm. This box is pretty heavy... feels like there’s some good adrienette content in there for you <3

on ao3

Words: 2.9k

Marinette Dupain-Cheng had worked her ass off at school and at internships and the graveyard shift at a fast food place, but it was all worth it, because today she was starting a new job, and it was one that she hoped would take her all the way to her dreams. Today was her first day as Gabriel Agreste’s personal assistant.

Temporarily, of course. No one could ever replace Ms. Sancoeur, but she’d just adopted a child, and was taking maternity leave. In her stead, Adrien had suggested his friend, who was presented with an opportunity he couldn’t let her miss out on. Adrien was nothing if not supportive of his friends’ dreams. Gabriel had met her before, and she’d left the impression of a strong-willed, mild-mannered young woman, with a firm voice, impeccable organization, and a penchant for running late. He’d already received five emails from her when Adrien’s recommendation sealed the deal.

Thanks to Tikki, Marinette managed to show up at the Agreste house five minutes before she was due. Nathalie had given her a brief orientation the day before, and she was confident to face any obstacle she might encounter. Her skirt was pressed, shoes shined, scarf knotted neatly, hair twirled tightly away. She tripped on her way up the stairs to the front door, but thankfully, no one but the security cameras caught it, and it was her job to monitor that once she got inside.

She slipped through the main doors and through to a little office off of the foyer. It looked different than she remembered, from the first time she’d been there, years ago. Since Adrien’s fifteenth birthday party, no doubt much of the furniture in the house had been cycled out to keep with current fashions, but the only thing that had stayed current in this office was the computer monitor on the desk. Wires snaked from the display to the baseboards where, she knew, they connected to the systems in the house: heating, security, electricity.

A single cord ran to a small roll-top desk that sat underneath the window, and she opened it and turned the computer on. The monitor flickered to life, as did a tablet mounted on the wall by the door. Marinette leaned back in her swivel chair as she waited for the computer to boot up. The light fixture was impressive for such a small room, but then, everything in Mr. Agreste’s house was fancy and expensive and just screamed fashion . It was the perfect mix of antique and high-tech. Marinette was really going to like it there.

She’d declined to put her purse in the closet, and had set it underneath her desk, where it was hidden from view by the front panel. Tikki flew out and sat on top of the computer monitor.

“Big day, Marinette,” she chirped. “When are you going to see Mr. Agreste?”

“In a few minutes,” Marinette said. She typed the password into the computer and waited as the system continued to load. “I want to make sure everything is up and running when I check in for the morning.”

She'd left the office door open, and while Tikki wasn't in plain sight, she was still more visible than may have been wise. They both heard footsteps echoing through the foyer, and by the time Marinette had ensured the kwami was hidden and looked back up to see who was coming, Adrien had fully descended the stairs and was waving hesitantly toward her. She smiled sheepishly and waved back. The close call and close encounter had her heart pounding, and when the tablet on the wall buzzed, she jumped in her seat.

It buzzed again impatiently, and she scurried over to accept the call. Gabriel’s face blossomed into view. He graced her with a rare smile.

“Mr. Agreste!” she stammered. “Good morning, sir.”

“Yes, it is morning, isn't it? Who can say if it's a good one,” he remarked dryly. “And two minutes past the hour, if I'm not mistaken. I hope it's not too much trouble to inquire as to when I may have an assistant?

“Right. Yes,” she said. “Sorry. I was just making sure that everything was operational. I'll be over momentarily, sir.”

As she spoke, her fingers flew over the tablet, bringing up the day's schedule and to-do list.

“I believe Nathalie took Adrien’s tablet last night and forgot it somewhere; you'll need to find it and return it to him so he has his schedule for the day,” Gabriel continued, unfazed. “Quickly, please, for we have much to do.”

“Yes, sir, I'm aware,” Marinette replied, trying to keep the bite out of her voice. “The deadline for the final fall line is in six days, and there's still a lot you haven't done.”

Mr. Agreste raised an eyebrow at her. “I'm on my way,” she said, and then hung up. She snatched the tablet off the wall with one hand and pressed the other against her mouth to keep it from shaking. “It's been five minutes and I'm already fired,” she whispered.

Tikki, meanwhile, had been searching for Adrien's tablet and found it in a drawer under a manilla folder. “It's not that bad,” she reassured Marinette. “You've got spunk. That's a good thing!”

Marinette scooped up the other tablet and patted Tikki on the head. “I appreciate it, Tikki, but I'm pretty sure I just blew it.” She walked out, leaving Tikki to snuggle into a niche in the drawer. As she strode across the foyer, she unlocked Adrien's tablet, smiling for a moment at his background; he and Nino were hanging out in his room, locked in a comic, over exaggerated video game battle for the camera. Their elbows were cocked to the sides, faces screwed in concentration. Nino was leaning his whole body to the left, and Adrien's tongue poked out between his lips.

She brought up his schedule on her tablet, then synced it over to his. She looked up just as she entered the dining room, where he was seated at the end of a very long table with a steaming mug of coffee and a bowl of fruit. One of his t-shirt sleeves was flipped inside-out, his pants rode a few inches above his ankles, and there was a stain along his collar that might have been blood, or jam, or coffee at one point, but had faded into a vague brown blotch over time. Adrien smiled at her and self-consciously smoothed his hair down.

Marinette tried to keep her composure as she took in his bedhead and pajamas. Once upon a time, she would have fainted to see Adrien up-close and fresh out of bed, and even now that her crazy infatuation was left years in the past, she still found it kind of cute. He’d done a terrible job of removing his makeup the night before and his eyes were rimmed with smudged eyeliner.

She cleared her throat and held out the tablet to him. “This is yours, I believe,” she said.

He rubbed the heel of his hand along his forehead and gave her a tired grin. “Oh, yeah. Thanks. Good morning to you, too.”

“O-of course. Good morning.” She smiled faintly at him. They were friends, of course, but she was here on professional business, right? There was no mixing of work and pleasure.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he continued, still grinning.

She gave him a puzzled look. “I… I’m working for your father now. Or, at least until Nathalie gets back. Didn’t he tell you?”

“Oh, I know.” He arched an eyebrow, but if he was trying to share in a joke with her, she was missing the punchline.

“Anyway,” she said after a moment. “I should go. I’m kind of… keeping your dad waiting. To fire me, most likely.”

He grabbed her elbow. “Hey. I’m sure you’re doing fine. My dad’s an ass sometimes, but I guarantee you can’t have done anything already to make him angry.”

“Right,” she said slowly. “In any case, I still need to go. I’ll see you later, I suppose.”

“See you later,” he said cheerily, turning back to his breakfast.

Marinette walked briskly back into the foyer and across to Gabriel’s office. She paused for a moment in front of the door, wondering whether she should knock or just let herself in, before deciding on both; she rapped her knuckles on one door while turning the other handle. Mr. Agreste looked up as she entered the room, and she kept a straight face as she strode coolly to him, all professionalism and punctuality, turning her tablet, her lifeline, back on and using it as an excuse to avoid his icy stare.

Before she could say anything, however, he asked, “What do you think of this?”

She looked up. “Sorry?”

He gestured to his side, where a row of mannequins were assembled; all were bare except one, which wore a jacket. Before Marinette could stop herself, her lip curled as she took it in. She caught his eye, and saw there was no going back, so she took a deep breath.

“It’s just… what’s special about it?” Marinette frowned. “Denim jackets are everywhere . This one looks like it could be from any label, even those cheap mall stores. I don’t see anything that makes it stand out. It doesn’t seem like it would sell.”

Gabriel tilted his head. “An excellent assessment,” he allowed.

Marinette stood up a little straighter.

“However,” he continued, “your initial impression is insufficient. You’ve barely given it a first look, much less a second. Come at look at it from the back.”

She walked around to the other side, and found that butterflies were embroidered on the jacket’s back, in shimmering purple and black and silver. And now that she was closer, she could see the faint flowers embossed on the jacket’s lapels and cuffs.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “That’s beautiful!”

���So, after consideration, what do you think?” he asked.

“Well…” Gabriel’s face was inscrutable, to her frustration. “To be honest, sir, it still doesn’t seem like much. I’ve always admired the hidden details in your designs, but there needs to be something to catch your eye, or no one will be interested in looking further.”

“And what would you suggest?” he pressed.

“A zipper?” Marinette winced internally.

He rubbed his chin. “A zipper,” he repeated. “On a denim jacket? Interesting… Call Alain and tell him I want to see that, by noon at the latest. And in the meantime, hold off on any of the jackets. You’ll need to check the back room and see what items we have already, but if they haven’t already finished with the corduroys, tell them to get them here by the end of the day. Now, I’ll need you to run me through this morning’s schedule…”

By her fourth day on the job, Marinette had fallen into the rhythm of things. It helped that, as the deadline neared, her job became more and more passive; making sure that boxes were checked and things were on schedule. Lately, everything was down to the photographers and their models, and there wasn’t much for her to do.

This season would mark the modelling debut of one Chloé Bourgeois, and Marinette retreated to her office the moment she heard those familiar, shrill tones echo through the mansion. She would be working from her desk today.

Through the open door, Marinette could see the bustle of people passing through the foyer, but she managed to remain uninterrupted for a few hours. That streak was broken just before 11:30.

The office door slammed shut, and Marinette swiveled in her chair to see what had happened. Adrien was pressed against it, palms flattened and head craned sharply to the right; his head tilted, as though he was listening for something, but after a few seconds, he relaxed, and turned towards Marinette, shooting her a sheepish smile.

“Sorry. My father,” was all he offered.

She leaned forward. “What happened?”

“Some new guy managed to confuse suede and velvet.” Adrien grimaced as the sound of shouting faintly reached their ears. “And when my dad noticed…”

“He started giving him an earful,” Marinette finished. She smirked. “How does that even happen?”

“Hey, now,” he laughed. “Don’t get too cocky. Isn’t it your job to catch that kind of stuff? He’ll be coming after you, next.”

He froze, smile still in place but dread slowly dawning in his eyes, as he realized what that meant. The shouting upstairs faded away.

“Oh, shit. He’s coming after you, next,” Adrien repeated.

“So much for getting away,” Marinette said. She tried to bring back the banter, but her palms were sweating. The click of Gabriel’s heels against the tile sounded sharply in their ears.

“Hide me!” Adrien hissed, diving underneath the desk she was still sitting at. Marinette barely had time to react before Gabriel was upon them.

He rapped on the door. “Marinette?” he said sharply.

She dried her palms on her skirt and straightened in her seat. “Come in.”

Gabriel pushed the door open and strode into the room. “Marinette,” he said. “Would you care to explain to me how, in all of your checks and double-checks, an error might have slipped in? And why yesterday evening, when I asked if everything was ready for today, you told me everything was, quote, perfect ?”

“I… don’t know, sir.” She wanted to look away, but she held eye contact with him. Maybe she could fool him into thinking she was more confident than she felt. “It won’t happen again.”

“You don’t know,” he sniffed. “You know, negligence and incompetence are qualities I can’t stand, especially in my employees. And all of you are complicit in this; not one person noticed anything amiss. Not one of you looked at the skirt closely enough to realize it was the wrong material. Suede? ” He pinched his nose. “I’m getting a migraine.”

Marinette went to stand up. “I’ll get you some--”

He waved his hand at her dismissively, and she dropped back into her seat. “Don’t bother. I’ll get it myself. Have you seen Adrien? He seems to have disappeared.”

At the mention of his name, Adrien squeaked from under the desk, and Marinette’s eyes widened. Gabriel’s, however, narrowed, and he took a step backward.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “I don’t know the nature of your relationship with my son, and frankly, I don’t want to know. But I expect that, while you are working for me, you will remain professional and not let yourself get… distracted from your work. Am I clear?”

“N-no!” Marinette protested. “I mean, yes, but no! Adrien and-- I’m not-- We’re--” Her shoulders slumped. “I understand, sir.”

“Good.” He nodded firmly and spun on his heel. “I’ll be in my office.”

As soon as his footsteps faded, Adrien burst from his hiding place, crawling out and gasping as though he’d been hiding underwater. “Do you think he knew I was here?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that,” Marinette replied bitterly.

“Oh, god. What did he think, we were...” He laughed nervously. “What? No. No, no. Right? No.”

Marinette buried her head in her hands. “Oh my god. My boss thinks I’m secretly dating his son.”

“Hi? Son, right here,” Adrien reminded her. “Oh, shit. Now he probably thinks--” He pressed his lips together.

“Thinks what?” Marinette asked.

Adrien sat back on his knees and said in a small voice, “That I only got you this job so we could bang.”

Marinette waved her hands, like she was batting away all the other thoughts in her head. “Hang on, you got me this job? I applied for it. You didn’t…” She groaned. “God, so I’m only here as a favor?”

“What? No, of course not!” Adrien leaned forward, still on his knees. He shuffled closer and put a reassuring hand on her knee. “Marinette, you definitely deserve this job.”

“I mean, thanks, Adrien, but that’s not the biggest issue right now.” Marinette groaned again. “God, what do we--Do we say something to him? I don’t want to bring this up again. What if we just… don’t do anything out of the ordinary. Act professionally around him. And then he’ll realize he was wrong. Easy!”

Adrien frowned. “Yeah, that’s cool and all, except my dad isn’t going to pay enough attention to ever pick up on that. And then, two years from now, he’ll probably still think we’re dating. And then he’ll be mad that I didn’t say something sooner.”

Marinette spread her hands at him, clearly exasperated.

“I don’t want to talk to him about this either!” he yelped. “So…”

“So,” she responded. “Do we-- I mean, we should, um. Your dad already thinks we’re dating… Do you want to get coffee, sometime?”

Adrien blinked. “Wha-? I mean, yeah, definitely! Uh, hang on, let me just, like, run upstairs and change, and--”

Marinette giggled. “Not right now. I’m working, and you--oh, shit. Your dad’s still looking for you. You should go.”

“Oh. Right, right, yeah.” He scrambled to his feet. “I’ll… text you?”

She beamed. “Sounds good.”

When his footsteps faded, Marinette turned and wrenched open one of her desk drawers. “Hey, Tikki?”

“Yeah?” The kwami blinked up at her; she was swaddled in a handkerchief, and had clearly been napping when all the ruckus started, and she yawned as Marinette tried to form a question.

Marinette pointed towards the door that Adrien had just disappeared through. “That… just happened, right? Like, you heard that, and it was real?”

Tikki smiled. “Yes, Marinette.”

Marinette leaned back in her chair and sighed. “I think this is the best day of my life.”

Adrien messaged her two hours and seventeen minutes later. Not that either of them were keeping track.

[firesong-writes69]

My New York Comic Con Experience (Or the time I called in Gay to Class)

Whew. Thank you all for your well wishes and excited messages the other day, cheering me on as I traveled to the NY panel! I was a mess but talking with you all helped keep me sane for the most part. I have So. Much. To. Tell. You! 

(Prepare for a really long, rambling mess of a post, but by now you all are used to the things I upload on this blog, haha! :p) 

So, here goes. I spent the night before packing for the day, and I suppose I over-packed, bringing two water bottles and a whole sandwich for lunch. And a packet of gum. And like, a dozen protein bars. I read online that it’s always good to bring your own food to these types of conventions because it can get EXPENSIVE. Not to mention, for those of you who have social anxiety like I do, waiting on line with a bunch of other hungry people is nerve-wracking. But at least I got to share the protein bars with my traveling buddies, so that was nice. 

I’m only ten minutes away from New York by train, and a round trip ticket costs $8 dollars. I’m glad I took the train and not the bus because when I looked out onto the main route to NY, there was bumper-to-bumper traffic. Having been born in New Jersey I’m used to this, but I know for someone who came from the South it would have been hard to handle. Pro tip for traveling on trains: always ask the train conductor before getting on if it goes to your appropriate stop. Beware of express trains, sometimes they completely miss it. Also, don’t stand in the middle of the hallway between the door and the next car while the train is moving, it’s fucking terrifying bro. 

So there I am, ready to go with my fully-packed backpack and on my way. I pull out my phone and decided to tell you all that I’m almost there, typing “New York Comic Con: Or Bust!!!” and guess who fucking reblogs it. @hotladypants had me shook for the entire ride. It was great. 

It wasn’t hard to find my way to the Javits Center because I just followed the crowd of people in cosplay, and made it there on time. Whenever you go to a big convention, don’t be shy to ask the people in uniform questions. They’ll help you if you’re feeling lost/overwhelmed. There’s also a quiet room at Comic Con to hang out in if you need a break--which is smart. I was told that it’s going to be an hour wait before the Javits Center opens so I relaxed on line, talking with the people around me and admiring how cool everyone looked in their costumes. A family of Pikachu’s walked past, Max and Chloe from Life is Strange blessed me with their awesome selves, a young family from Texas dressed up as Star Wars characters (the mom was Rey, the kid was Yoda, and the grandmother was Kylo-Ren, I WISH I TOOK PICTURES) and a couple dressed up as workers from the company Cinnabon. But I had a good time waiting. The kid taught me about Star Wars, when I painfully admitted that I haven’t seen a single movie, but he was gracious and told me what a lightsaber was. 

When I finally made it onto the main floor, my mouth dropped open at the GIANT ASS RWBY POSTER HANGING. Like, holy fuck. it looked glorious. I then contacted @nootvanlis and asked her if she was there, and I excitedly hurried down to 1A24, where the panel was, and met her! I can confirm she’s a beautiful person and so nice. I introduced myself as “mynameisnikki” and she recognized me, haha! :’) Hanging out with her was @princesshollis, who is also super rad. I had a fun time talking with them both and we all shared stories as we waited to get in. 

There were two panels going on before Carmilla’s, so I don’t remember much of them. I took a cat nap. Is anyone a fan of the movie Die Hard? :/ 

When creampuffs started to pour into the room I started to grow nervous and excited. There was so much energy and love in that room and I couldn’t help but look at everyone with awe, struggling to believe that like, holy fuck... this was going to happen. This was happening. I made it. 

Why didn’t anyone tell me that your heart was going to stop when you saw Elise and Natasha for the first time? That you felt like you couldn’t breathe? That you see your life flashing before your eyes, you are suddenly blinded by how beautiful they both are? I swear I fell over on my chair the moment they ran in, holding hands, and I was already crying. Did anyone else notice the halo surrounding them both or was it just me? I was probably so hyped I was hallucinating. 

I was sitting in the front row next to Gabi and Linds, and I didn’t fully register that I was in Natasha’s direct line of sight until AFTER the panel. I was so in shock by both of their beauty that I couldn’t remember where I was. Or how to speak English. They usually have that affect on people, right? Like I’m not the only one? 

I wish someone told me that trying to stay calm during a panel was easier said than done. My hand had a mind of its own, shaking like a fucking leaf, and I felt bad because I needed someone to hold it the whole time! I now finally know what everyone’s talking about when Elise and Natasha have their “moment”. The way they look at each other. Smile at each other, like no one else is in the room. “Oh, there are other people here.” Says Natasha, and the noise that came out of my mouth WAS NOT HUMAN. MY EYES WERE BLESSED. 

Another wild thing that happened was I think Natasha noticed I was on the verge of either falling onto the floor and dying or crying of laughter, and I caught her staring at me for a solid two minutes. Feebly, I gave her a weak smile and something between a wave/thumb up, AND SHE FUCKING WIGGLED HER EYEBROWS AT ME. LIKE BABE. YOU KNOW I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. GAAAH. 

When it came time for audience Q and A’s, I’m not sure what came over me. All I knew was that I wanted to say something, anything, and if I didn’t I would never forgive myself. So I ran over to the mic so fast, which I am certain I time traveled because no way do I ever move that fast in real life. I’m glad I had my folder in my hand and I was ready to give them my present. 

There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to say, “Thank you, Carmilla. Thank you for giving me a home.” BUT I ENDED UP RAMBLING ABOUT HOW GAY I AM LIKE AN IDIOT. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME THAT ASKING A QUESTION TO YOUR FAVORITE HUMANS WAS LIKE GOING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW??? Oh my god, now all of you are going to see how I fumbled at the panel. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to take up so much time, honest! I’m just glad I remembered about the gift I wanted to give and anxiously blurted out, “I have something to give you!” And Elise excited said, “Yeah, we’ll take your art!” I think I peed myself. And I think I repeatedly said, “Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m going to cry.” But I don’t remember, it’s all just a giant blur in my head right now XD Natasha was so excited to have it, guys. She told me, “I’m looking forward to reading this. Thank you so much! Come to the meet and greet later so I can talk to you, okay?” 

.... 

..... 

Natasha is a fucking gift. A GIFT. 

I walk back to my seat in a daze, and everyone is cheering, and I just turn to Gabi and repeatedly asked, “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?”  and, “DID I JUST DO THAT.” 

I was a mess. A hot, blubbering mess. But it was... oh my god, it was honestly the greatest experience of my life. I waited on line for the meet n greet, still an emotional mess, but everyone was so warm and welcoming and comforted me, which I appreciated so much! I felt like I seemed more calm and collected when I finally went up to them and said, “I’M SORRY I DON’T HAVE A COHERENT MIND RIGHT NOW BUT I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH SORRY FOR BEING A MESS BEFORE.” And Natasha assured me that everything was fine, and she said, “Thank you for sharing your story with us. That was very brave.” And you want to know what I fucking said? 

“Yeah, no. That’s totally cool man.” 

.... *repeatedly slaps head* 

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over in the corner. Crying in gay. Wearing my pride flag. Wishing that I could relive yesterday over and over. Thank you, Carmilla. Thank you for everything.