#flipso

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 19: Fun in the Sun (originally posted on May 1, 2023)

AN: Just in time for the beginning of summer, we have a beach episode! Yep, after the emotional trauma of last time, we could all use a little R&R and just a little fanservice too. But let's not have that distract from what Black Rutile has planned now that she's unleashed what is essentially Bill Cipher, Discord, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Bat Mite, the Collector, and the Beyonder all rolled into one with no shred of morals or care for mortal life, since we already implied last chapter that he convinced Adolf Hitler to become chancellor and start the Nazis. But for now, he's just content to sit back and wait until he can be fully freed by causing chaos like he usually does. And on a related note, I originally intended for Flipso to be voiced by David Tennant, but then the Steven versus Big Jack Horner from Puss in Boots: The Last Wish came along and I figured I could reference those by replacing him with John Mulaney. I think I've been talking too much, let's get on with the show!

Synopsis: As summer begins, Little Homeworld hits the beach.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

John Mulaney as Flipso

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno Hall as Pearl, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Shanelle Grey as Sally Grove

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Courtenary Taylor as Beryl

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Bill Fagerbakke as Spirit of Competition

Michelle Maryk as Larimar

Ian Jones Quartey as Snowflake Obsidian, Bixbite

Cavetown as Diaspore

Sarah Jessica Parker as Dumortierite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Olga Kurylenko as Rasputina

John Kassir as Reginald Johnson

--

Summer had finally begun, and right off the bat, it seemed like the hottest day of the year. However, that did not deter Black Rutile as she worked with Rasputina to research the powers of Flipso further, all while Flipso gave some running commentary by reminiscing on his past deeds.

"And the moral of the story is never use a volcano as a barbecue pit." Flipso finished another story of the chaos he created in eons past. "And that was the story of how I accidentally destroyed Pompeii! Those silly Romans didn't know what had happened! I thought I learned my lesson, but then I tried doing it again with Mount St. Helens. Eh, it doesn't matter to me either way; a volcano's a volcano, and a dead body is a dead body."

"I did not expect him to be this casual towards exterminating innocent lives." Rasputina commented on Flipso's comedic levels of apathy towards his sociopathic actions. "I thought he was just going to be a funny, obnoxious trickster."

"Well, appearances can be deceiving." Black Rutile replied. "Now then, it says here that in order to restore Flipso's physical form, only those with the blackest of hearts are considered worthy to receive his godlike powers." This reading from Flipso's page began piquing her interest. "Godlike powers, huh? If I had abilities of that caliber, I could use them to erase Steven from existence and rule unopposed!" Suddenly, there was a loud knocking at the door. "Someone's coming, hide!"

Just as Flipso and Rasputina vanished, White Topaz kicked in the door to Black Rutile's house with urgent news. "Black Rutile, you gotta come outside! The Crystal Gems have a big announcement to make!"

"They're finally outlawing Era 3 because I was right all along, and they're giving me special permission to execute Steven on live television?!" Black Rutile excitedly asked, much to White Topaz's dismay. "Come on, a Gem can dream!"

"No, they got something really fun planned!" White Topaz explained. "Everybody's talking about what to do for summer; you should come and see!"

"But I was busy with something!" Black Rutile whined in dismay as she looked back at her research. "Okay, fine, I'll see what you want to do, but count me out!"

"Yep, count me out." Black Rutile grumbled as the Gems of Little Homeworld gathered around the Warp Pad to hear what the Crystal Gems had to say.

--

"We're going to the beach, and you're all invited!" Pearl excitedly announced, to the eagerness of everyone around them.

"Spending time with my greatest enemies, the very reason my life is ruined?" Black Rutile frowned. "In your dreams, you putrid fascists!"

"Hey, cut the backtalk already!" Amethyst said to Black Rutie." You've been awfully stressed out lately, so this could be a chance for you to kick back and relax a little!"

"You're the reason I'm so stressed, you idiots!" Black Rutile yelled just as Garnet tried calming her down with a firm shoulder rub. "Stop touching me without my consent!"

"You see, this is what we mean." Garnet calmly advised the Rutile terrorist. "You're under a lot of stress at the moment, and we're looking for ways to help you calm down more. Please, just let us help you for once."

"Yeah, and we'd thought that maybe getting you involved in some relaxing activities could help you out." Lapis agreed with Garnet. "And who knows? Maybe you'll finally see how great Earth can be as well."

"I highly doubt it." Jasper rolled her eyes in response.

"See, she gets me!" Black Rutile agreed with Jasper before she saw Flipso emerge from behind her. "And what do you want?"

"Frankly, I think you should chillax for a bit." Flipso suggested. "Get a little breather from researching yours truly! In fact, how much of your hot brown morning potion have you had lately?"

"A little too much for me to count." Black Rutile replied, even though, at the moment, she was the only one who could see Flipso and make her look like she was talking to herself. Gawking at the sight, Jasper turned to Aquamarine and Holly Blue with a thumb pointed at the Rutile while the two blue Gems just shrugged to try and keep up the illusion.

"Maybe I could use a break now and then." Black Rutile admitted. "Fine, I'll go along with your little trip. But I won't like it!" The other Gems began cheering in delight, much to Black Rutile's annoyance. "I'm not liking it already."

--

"I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold." Teal Zircon said dramatically as she pointed a water gun straight at Diaspore's face. "Your choice, rebel scum."

"Draw!" Diaspore yelled back while pulling out a water gun of her own to fire at Teal Zircon, starting a playfully intense water-fight between the two. All around the duo, Gems of all shapes and sizes littered the beach, either playing in the sand or enjoying the water. All of them were having the summertime of their lives, all except for one.

"Yes, yes. You all have your fun, you fools." Black Rutile, now dressed in a white rash guard and black shorts, glowered as she sulked on a beach towel under an umbrella. "I'll be hiding away here where no one else can find me plotting."

"Hey, Black Rutile!" Lapis exclaimed, making Black Rutile yelp in surprise before turning to face the blue Gem, who had swapped her usual ensemble for a blue and white one-piece with a white skirt. "Sorry to give you a scare. I just wanted to check up on you."

"Well, I shouldn't be any of your beeswax or whatever they say!" Black Rutile scowled at the terraformer. "Now go away!"

"You know, you could do tons of stuff with us." Lapis said as she pointed towards some of the Gems' activities. "Like surfing, for example."

"WHOO, COWABUNGA!" Zuli shrieked delightfully as she rode the wave in a yellow crop top and shorts.

"Yeah, keep it going!" Laz, dressed in a dark blue one-piece, cheered her bestie on as she recorded the whole thing.

"Volleyball." Lapis continued while Jasper and White Topaz were engaged in a volleyball game against Blue and Yellow Pearl.

"SPIKE!" Yellow Pearl yelled vigorously as she spiked the ball right into Jasper's face.

"Uh, Yellow, I'm pretty sure you're taking this a little too seriously." Blue Pearl meekly said as Jasper got back up from the counterattack.

"She's not taking it seriously enough!" Jasper responded before throwing the ball back.

"Get 'em, darling!" White Topaz said excitedly.

"Sandcastle building." Peridot stood above the beach atop a massive sandcastle and looked down on everyone below her. "KNEEL BEFORE ME, CLODS! FOR I STAND ON HIGH; THEREFORE, I AM FAR TALLER THAN ALL OF YOU!"

"Hey, get off my sandcastle, Peridot!" Morganite yelled at Peridot from the base of the castle. "I worked very hard on this and do not want anyone taking credit!"

"Look, Morganite; I'm making a little home for the crabs!" Volleyball giggled as she dug a little hole in the sandcastle to put some crabs in.

"Don't encourage her, Pearl!" Morganite grumbled angrily.

"Some of them are even breaking watermelons." Demantoid tied a blindfold around Tanzanite before handing her a club and spinning her around.

"Are you sure nobody will get hurt?" Tanzanite asked as she stopped spinning and began walking around the beach searching for the watermelon.

"Just trust us and follow my voice." Pyrope assured the purple Gem. "Now then, step a little to the right. No, my right. No, that's right!" Despite the former aristocrat's orders, Tanzanite didn't seem to pay attention. "Are you even listening to me right now?!"

"Ah, I think this is it!" Tanzanite exclaimed before bonking Apatite on the head with the club.

"Watch where you're pointing that thing." Apatite scolded Tanzanite rather nonchalantly.

"You know, all of those do sound enticing," Black Rutile said. "but I think I'm just content with staying here for right now. Now shoo, shoo!"

"Okay, your loss." Lapis said before she flew away, just as Flipso magically appeared beside Black Rutile in a deck chair of his own, wearing a red floral-pattern Hawaiian shirt and drinking out of a coconut.

"Aloha, chum!" Flipso greeted Black Rutile. "Heard you guys were headed for the beach. Frankly, I can see why because, lord almighty, I can feel the temperature rising!" He emphasized his point by summoning a thermometer that immediately burst from the heat. "So, anything you want to do together, Cherie?"

"Not interested." Black Rutile turned down Flipso's offer, much to his dismay, as she turned on her tablet to talk with Sally Grove.

"Aw, you're no fun!" Flipso whined like a petulant child. "I thought you would be the black heart that I needed to get outta this joint, but instead, you're all about rules and control and such! That just ain't my thing!"

"Shut up, I'm talking here!" Black Rutile shushed Flipso before talking with Sally. "Hello, Sally. How are you dealing with this heatwave?"

"I'm doing well. It won't stop me from making videos." Sally replied. "I got some new ones on the pipeline this summer, like 'Bisexual People are Just Straight People with Extra Steps,' 'Eduardo Suarez is a Bad President,' and one I think you'd love, 'Steven Universe is a Garbage Person and Here's Why.'"

"Send me the script for that last one!" Black Rutile suggested eagerly while Flipso impatiently waited to be paid attention to again.

"Oy jevalt, this beach day became such a bore!" Flipso moaned in disappointment just as he got an awful idea. "How about we liven up the joint a bit?" With a sinister cackle, he clapped his hands to make some mischief come to life.

--

"So, what do you think we should do for group activities next, girls?" Pearl asked the other Crystal Gems while adjusting her sunhat. "Maybe an art show or a sports competition?"

"Oh, I'd love the first one!" Peridot eagerly kicked her legs at the idea. "I just need someone to help me out with a meep morp!"

"You know, I never quite got why you call art that word." Bismuth stated. "I mean, why not call it what it is?"

"It's called having a sense of humor, Bismuth, doy!" Lapis replied frustratedly when they all heard a loud rumbling sound. "What was that?"

"Uh, guys. I think you're gonna need to see this." Amethyst said as a giant crab monster emerged from the ocean, spooking everyone on the beach while a white pony fighting it with a sword fell off the creature's back and into the portal where they came from.

"That crab is making me really scared!" Teal Zircon yelled in fright as she tightly held onto Beryl. "But also really hungry!"

"What are we gonna do?!" Beryl added just as the Crystal Gems sprang into action. "Hooray, here they come to save the day!"

"Amethyst, get everyone to safety! Pearl, find a potential weak point!" Garnet began giving orders. "Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, Jasper, and White Topaz are all with me!"

"Aye, aye, captain!" White Topaz gave a hearty salute before whipping her brass knuckle gauntlet to punch at the crab's leg. "How do you like that, Sebastian?! You must be really hoping to get back down where it's wetter, huh?!"

"What is going on here?!" Holly Blue yelled as she, Cat's Eye, Aquamarine, and the Rubies watched the other Gems fight the crab monster, all while Black Rutile and Flipso sat back with some popcorn and drinks.

"Wherever that thing came from, keep it as far away from my bikini as possible!" Cat's Eye meowed while showing off her athletic body in a bright orange two-piece. "I wouldn't dare have that thing slobber all over me and pinch me to pieces!"

"Is this your friend's doing?" Aquamarine asked, pointing to a relaxing Flipso.

"Wassup?" Flipso smiled while throwing up a peace sign. "I just felt like livening up the joint since someone would rather not pay attention to me!"

"So that's it, you just want attention?" Eyeball responded to the chaos god's announcement. "Well, I can see why that librarian kept you locked up for so long."

"Ah, hush up, this is gonna get good!" Flipso replied with a mouthful of popcorn as he watched the Gems gain the upper hand on the crab beast.

"Lapides, now!" Jasper commanded Lapis, Laz, and Zuli to restrain the massive crustacean with water chains. "Larimar, make sure she doesn't try and break out!"

"What can I do?" Desert Glass asked Jasper.

"I don't know, bury this thing or something!" Jasper yelled. As the Lapides and Larimar used their water and ice powers to keep the crab from moving, Desert Glass commanded the sand beneath her sandal-clad feet to slowly sink the crab into the ground before burying it beneath, making sure that it wouldn't break out and hurt anyone again. "It is over, finished."

"Wow, these Gems sure got a lot of moxie!" Flipso applauded Desert Glass's efforts as the other Gems cheered in celebration. "But, still, that was a little anticlimactic. I mean, what's stopping that thing from breaking out? We just gonna shove it into the sea or something?"

"Let's not bother ourselves for now." Black Rutile replied. "But right now, I think we could put your powers to good use."

--

Once the crab was dealt with, everything returned to normal as the Gems returned to their beach activities. Well, as normal as a beach day, being haunted by a chaotic spirit can get, anyways. Flipso haunted everyone's shadows, ogling some of the Gems in their swimsuits as he brainstormed ideas for his next plot.

"Hm, I have to say, these Gem babes don't look half bad." Flipso mused to himself. "But I wonder if they even talked about who was hotter? Ooh, delightfully devilish, Flipso! Yer old papa Jestrix would be proud!" With a snap of his fingers, Flipso brought forth a strange pink blob-like creature with a very dopey voice. "Hey, Spirit of Competition, my man! Glad you could come!"

"Uh, what do you need me for, Flipso?" the Spirit of Competition asked Flipso.

"Well, I gotta ask two things. First," Flipso summoned a crowbar and began beating the Spirit senseless with it. "WHERE'S MY MONEY, YOU STUPID WAD OF GUM?! YOU WANT ME TO START A HOTLINE FOR PEOPLE TO VOTE ON WHETHER I CAN KILL YOU OR NOT?!"

"I promise I'll get your money; just please leave me alone!" the Spirit of Competition wailed. "What else did you need me for?!"

"Glad you asked, sonny!" Flipso smiled before presenting the Spirit with all the beautiful women around them. "Behold, some very gorgeous gals! Just look at them, by gummity!"

"Yeah, they're hot!" the Spirit drooled amorously. "What do you want me to do?"

"Listen, I got a friend who needs to have the heat taken off her, and I summoned you to help distract these babes." Flipso stated. "Think you're up to the challenge? I'll give you some free mortal food out of this."

"Ooh yeah, I love making people challenge each other!" the Spirit of Competition exclaimed happily. "And I think I know just the thing to do!" With a determined look on its face, the Spirit leaped towards Emerald and began assimilating itself into her body to control her mind for a bit.

"Maybe you're right." Emerald admitted to Amazonite. "Maybe there is a good-minton." Then the Spirit began taking over her body, symbolized by her eyes turning a dark shade of pink and her gem taking on a slight pinkish glow. "But you know what else is good? This body!" She stood up and forced Amazonite to admire her muscles in her lime green bikini. "Look at this perfectly sculpted form! Gaze upon it, I say!"

"Emerald, are you okay?" Amazonite asked as she slowly backed away from the suddenly changed ex-pilot. "You seem a lot more overconfident than usual."

"Oh please, you're getting too cocky, Emerald." Pyrope challenged Emerald while flaunting her body in her tight pink one-piece. "I got soft curves for days here!"

"Geez, are we really starting a contest here?" Apatite smirked before showing off her red swimsuit. "Because we all know who the winner is here. That's right, ol' Shortstack herself!"

"Well, why don't we make it a contest?!" Albite exclaimed. "Most attractive Gem on the beach shall win…..uh….." She began thinking about what the prize should be. "I don't know, the undying respect and admiration of her opponents?"

"YEAH!" Tanzanite loudly agreed, followed by the other Gems, while the Crystal Gems watched gobsmacked at what was going on, and Black Rutile's smile widened with intrigue.

"So this is his idea of fun, exploiting beautiful women?" Black Rutile purred curiously. "His powers just get curiouser and curiouser."

--

As the beauty contest began with Zuli, Pyrope, Emerald, Garnet, Desert Glass, Apatite, Blue Pearl, and Cat's Eye as contestants, with Amethyst, Teal Zircon, and Yellow Pearl as judges, this gave Black Rutile the perfect opportunity to conduct her research in private while everyone was distracted.

"Rasputina, get over here!" Black Rutile called for the sorceress, who appeared before her dressed in a black bandeau bikini with a matching sunhat and sunglasses. "You've been waiting to join us on the beach, have you?"

"What gave it away?" Rasputina nonchalantly asked before sitting down next to Black Rutile. "What have you gathered on Flipso so far?"

"It seems that at the moment, Flipso can only conjure things into existence with a snap of his fingers." Black Rutile analyzed. "But if he were to restore his physical form, his abilities could cause the breakdown of all reality as we know it!"

"Exactly!" Flipso replied. "Also, how you doin'? Care for a little candlelight dinner later?"

"Get bent." Rasputina snarked at the god before looking at Black Rutile surfing Yatter. "So what's this supposed to be?"

"Some kind of right-wing human that Sally led me to." Black Rutile said. "Some guy named Reginald Johnson who leads an anti-Crystal Gem white supremacist group because he thinks they're 'toxic feminists' who will lead to humankind's destruction. Take a look at this." She clicked on a video of a stereotypical Southerner in a ten-gallon hat, a wifebeater covered in bandoliers, and a bushy beard sitting at a desk.

"Now you may be wondering, how could I hate a group of people I've never met who probably don't know I exist?!" Reginald Johnson ranted on the video. "Well, I don't like what they're putting in the Earth that turns the freaking rocks gay! Do you understand that?! They're no better than those mentally ill preschoolers who think they're fighting climate change or everyone who says I can't have a crush on this fictional candy mascot!"

As Reginald continued, Black Rutile, Flipso, and Rasputina were just about to start laughing. "Well then, whose bright idea was it to depict the candy as a beautiful woman, huh?! The world is a cruel parent but an effective teacher too. Its final lesson is carved deep into our psyches: that the world, and all its people, are diseased! Free will is a joke because we'll all soon become nothing more than mindless puppets for the minorities of this world!"

"Okay, I think that's enough racism for today." Flipso muttered before shutting off the video. "This guy has potential! It's a wonder that Sally babe has so much interest in him; they're almost alike!"

"That's not untrue." Rasputina nodded in reply. "They are both openly prejudiced against the norm, but Reginald is a stereotypical right-winger while Sally is just an opinionated cynic."

--

"Okay, this is becoming a little unorthodox." Pearl commented as she watched the beauty contest continue. "First the crab monster, and now this? What's the meaning of this?"

"Shall we get to the bottom of this?" Peridot suggested. "I think Black Rutile might have something to do with everything happening today."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case." Pearl agreed. "Hello, Black Rutile? Can you come over here, please?"

"Oh no, they're onto us!" Flipso animatedly chattered his teeth in fright. "What do we do? What do we do?!"

"You're the reality-warping horror beyond man's comprehension; you do something!" Black Rutile exclaimed, shaking the creature by its shoulders and forcing him away.

"Okay, if I were a Gem, what could possibly distract me?" Flipso began thinking of another plan while looking towards the Spirit of Competition, still attaching itself to Emerald like a symbiote. "Hey, Compy! Give me a lift here!"

"Sorry, I'm in the middle of something. Be there in a bit!" the Spirit of Competition said before making Emerald strike some model poses for the audience. "Whoo, work it, baby!"

"Well, looks like I'm in a rut here." Flipso proclaimed in defeat when he noticed Pearl making her way through the contestants searching for Black Rutile. "Indiana Jones, I hope you're watching!"

With a snap of Flipso's fingers, the judges turned their gaze to Pearl and made their decision. "And the winner is Pearl!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Wait, what?"

"I'm the winner?" Pearl gasped in shock just as Black Rutile scurried away.

"She's the winner, I guess." Yellow Pearl added.

"More like I'm the winner!" Flipso laughed victoriously as everyone slowly agreed that Pearl was a last-minute shoo-in.

"I mean, Pearl certainly is very cute." Blue Pearl realized, making the other Pearl blush. "She deserved to win."

"I'll allow it!" Emerald remarked in defeat before walking away.

"Congratulations, Pearl." Garnet said while giving Pearl a hearty pat on the shoulder. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"I swear, Black Rutile is up to something, and this contest was a part of it!" Pearl exclaimed.

"Pearl, Black Rutile is up to a lot of things." Bismuth replied. "You need to be more specific."

--

Soon, the sun began to set on Beach City, meaning it was almost time for everyone to go home. However, everybody was hesitant to leave so soon, so to counter this, Garnet got the idea of starting a bonfire to end the day.

"There, nice and toasty." Garnet said as the Gems gathered around the fire.

"Yes, this isn't half bad." Morganite agreed with Garnet while putting her hands out towards the flame. "It's just nice to have some time to relax once in a while."

"So, anything else we should do before we leave?" Snowflake Obsidian asked.

"Ooh, let's tell each other scary stories!" Bixbite suggested.

"Been there, done that." Dumortierite said.

"Anyone else got an idea?" Tiger’s Eye added.

"I feel like roasting the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep boiled in its own stomach over the fire." Teal stated, much to the disgust of everyone else.

"Delicious!" Larimar agreed with Teal, grossing everybody out even more.

"Weirdos." Squaridot muttered.

"We could sing songs together." Topaz made her own suggestion.

"Great idea Topaz and I know just the one!" Pearl exclaimed before she pulled Steven's ukulele from her gem and started to play. "Isn't this such a beautiful night? Whoa, we're underneath a thousand shining stars. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?"

Black Rutile rolled her eyes not too far from the bonfire as the song continued. "Look at this place; look at your faces. I've never seen you look like this before. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?"

"Aw, look at the adorable mom friend." Flipso smirked at Pearl's performance while the Gems began clapping along. "Too bad I'm gonna have to obliterate her soon."

"You got that right." Black Rutile proclaimed.

"Look at this place; look at your faces. They're shining like a thousand shining stars. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?" Pearl continued singing into the night. "Why don't you let yourself just be somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be whoever you are?"

--

Aw, that was a pretty wholesome ending and a much-needed breather from all the drama of last chapter. But don't think we'll be devolving into quote-unquote "filler episodes" when we only have six to seven chapters left of story to go through! I mean, some mix of Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson, Ben Shapiro, and Will Harangue has caught the attention of Black Rutile, in addition to the unholy love child of Lily Orchard and Mindy Kaling's Velma already on her side! What could possibly come from three sociopaths coming together? Well, we'll just have to find out soon because in the meantime, Holly Blue takes the spotlight as the Famethyst visit Little Homeworld. Given how I've been tormenting Holly her entire stay here, this should be fun.

[nobodys-drawings]

“It rains before morning and I’m awake not knowing if you realized what it meant when you said I’m your friend There’s not a sound more comforting when the whole world is asleep the rain against my window my mind at peace” - leemartenspoetry Please do not repost, use, or edit my art, thanks!

[aberfaeth]

d20 merch creator i know you have your hands full but i do want an ipso flipso shirt

[anxietiefling]

gonna tell my kids that "ipso flipso" is a real upper class expression

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 21: Being Human (originally posted on May 15, 2023)

AN: And at long last, we finally reach the culmination of the Flipso storyline running through most of Season 2 and his grand entrance into the physical realm. While you may find it kind of a bummer that he only had four episodes where he actually appeared, keep in mind that Black Rutile is still the villain at the end of the day. However, circumstances will force her to team up with the Crystal Gems against a shared enemy. Could this be the start of her redemption arc? No, we'll get there when we get there!

Synopsis: Black Rutile summons an impish creature who can change the world around him to make the Gems easier to conquer, but the creature instead turns everyone into humans.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

John Mulaney as Flipso

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Courtenay Taylor as Beryl

Maddie Ziegler as Serpentine

Olga Kurylenko as Rasputina

Matthew Rhys as James Brenner

John Wurster as Marty

Featuring Anthony Stewart Head as Solaris Noctua

--

As day turned to afternoon in Little Homeworld, Black Rutile had brought together her followers for a grand ceremony that was about to take place. She finally had all she needed to unleash Flipso onto the world and use his powers to destroy the Crystal Gems once and for all. And she had Holly Blue Agate and her silver tongue to thank for it. As the Rutile began making preparations, Flipso's silhouette excitedly zipped around her house while giggling to himself. "I'm going to be free! I'm finally going to be free!" he cheered eagerly. "Oh, it'll be so nice to get outta that prison, thanks to you!"

"Oh please, you're far too kind!" Black Rutile smiled in response while keeping her fingers crossed behind her back. While Flipso was more than happy to get the Rutile's help, he seemingly didn't realize that she had far darker plans for powers that great, plans that involved taking Flipso's powers for himself and using them to become omniscient. "Now then, without further ado."

She then turned to the Rutile Rebels. "Take heed, my followers!" Black Rutile announced. "Around us stands a symbol of oppression: Little Homeworld. Where dozens of Gems have languished under the names of these rebels." She then pulled out a picture of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. "They have been held up to us as a shining example of kindness and forgiveness. But I say you have been supplied with false idols." She angrily tore the picture in half. "To stop you all from tearing down this corrupt reeducation camp!" The rebels all began cheering in excitement. "And will we just lie down and accept such a terrible fate? NO! For you see, I am now on the cusp of attaining phenomenal unlimited cosmic power courtesy of the cosmic jester Flipso, who I shall release via this ritual!" Finally, Black Rutile turned to Rasputina standing next to her. "Ready?!"

"The ritual is ready." Rasputina nodded before her eyes began to glow. "Owa Tagu Siam. Owa Tagu Siam." She began chanting. "Join me!"

"Gladly." Black Rutile replied before she started chanting as well. "Owa Tagu Siam. Owa Tagu Siam."

"It's working; it's working!" Flipso cheered as his shadow slowly turned into an orange and blue costume. "I can feel myself coming back!"

"When was the last time we had a successful plan?" Aquamarine asked snidely just as she heard the door get kicked open.

"Black Rutile, we've come to stop you!" Garnet yelled as she, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, Jasper, and White Topaz barged into Black Rutile's house, ready for a fight. "And to make up for my foolish decision earlier!"

"You've arrived too late, Crystal Gems." Holly Blue sneered evilly. "In just a few moments, a being of indescribable power who will finally give you the karma you deserve!"

"Owa Tagu Siam. Owa Tagu Siam." Rasputina and Black Rutile continued chanting together as the room was bathed in blue and orange light.

"Someone, stop them!" Pearl yelled. "Wait, is that Rasputina?"

"I got it!" White Topaz replied as she charged towards the ritual, only to be stopped by Holly Blue spin dashing towards her with an electric aura. "OOF!"

"Well, she's down." Jasper declared. "Everybody else, attack!" The Crystal Gems charged at Jasper's command and tried to fight off the swarm of Black Rutile's minions to stop her, but they were too late. All of Little Homeworld was covered in an explosion of light. At long last, Flipso was finally freed.

"OOOOOH, HOT DIGGEDY DOG!" Flipso cheered as his true form was unveiled. His jester costume was bright orange and blue, his pupils were like miniature galaxies, and his mouth was permanently fixed into a big, toothy grin. "This place is magnificent!"

"Oh my stars, what is that?" Peridot muttered with terror and curiosity.

"Oh, you must be everyone's favorite character, the one who's hilarious, and we will quote everything she says." Flipso greeted Peridot. "Hey, name's Flipso J. Jestrix, lord of all confusion and delay. How's it going?"

"You mean to tell me this weird little gremlin man will be the key to you destroying us?" Lapis asked in utter disbelief of the impish jester before them.

"Nobody feed him after midnight." Teal Zircon replied, just as disappointed, while everyone started awkwardly at her presence among the Rutile Rebels. "Hey, I thought this was a book club or something!"

"Well, Flipso, now that we finally freed you, it's about time for you to hold up your end of the bargain." Black Rutile said as she weaved through the crowd to meet with Flipso. "Destroy the Crystal Gems! Prevent them from ever existing for all I care!"

"Not so fast." Flipso chuckled evilly as he ominously turned to Black Rutile, his eyes now completely black and empty except for the stars decorating them. "I know what you are, kiddo. You're planning on stealing my powers and becoming an all-powerful god yourself, eh?"

"Uh, quesadilla, matador, chihuahuas bravos, ¡Los Diego!" Black Rutile tried speaking Spanish to hide how terrified she was that Flipso knew her true plans so quickly. "Seriously, how did you know?"

"I read the first paragraph of the chapter." Flipso confirmed the Rutile's fears, even though she had no idea what he was saying. "You're just like some of the other morons that tried striking a deal with me! They all wanted to use me for my body or some other gross reason!" he declared. "Well, I am way smarter than you think I am! I'm not some silly little man who just wants friends because I'm a lonely little weirdo who also revels in making everybody's lives miserable; I am four parallel universes ahead of your puny 12th-level intellect!"

"Bold choices of words coming from someone who's about to lose everything to a mere Gem." Black Rutile fired back while menacingly holding up the Seer to the Void. "I released you; now you will obey me!"

"This is not going to end well." Eyeball grimaced.

"Well, you know what they say about striking a deal with a creature of total chaos." Flipso grinned as he pulled the Seer out of Black Rutile's hands, and it began glowing in his. "You'll never know whether they'll stay loyal to you or not. SHABOOEY!"

Soon, another flash of orange and blue completely covered Little Homeworld.

--

Meanwhile, far beyond the known universe, or the known multiverse even, there was a grand library containing every story known to man. Within that library resided its current overseer, the almighty and all-knowing cosmic owl Solaris Noctua, sitting down to a good book by the fireplace when he felt a disturbance in the multiverse.

"Something is happening." Solaris gasped in alarm. "He's finally escaped." Setting down his book, Solaris narrowed down Flipso's current location and suddenly disappeared from his library.

--

As the light slowly vanished, Black Rutile laid on the ground in a daze, overwhelmed by the power the Seer to the Void unleashed in Flipso's hands. A strange ringing noise droned in her ears as she could barely hear the Crystal Gems asking her questions about Flipso. Wait, ears? Gems don't naturally have ears! And why does her body feel so warm all of a sudden?

"Hey, I think she's waking up!" Bismuth exclaimed as Black Rutile got up off the ground and shook her head. "Okay, Black Rutile, you got a lot of explaining to do!"

"What more can I explain?" Black Rutile replied. "That freak already told us everything we could know about him."

"Well, not everything." White Topaz added. "Like, for example, why did he turn us all into humans, and why do we all look like we came straight out of my dream?"

"Wait, humans?!" Black Rutile exclaimed before racing towards the window and gazing at the human with black hair, red-rimmed glasses, a black dress shirt, and matching pants staring straight back at her. "AAAAAAHHHHH!"

--

As Black Rutile quickly realized, it wasn't just her, the Crystal Gems, and her subordinates that were turned into humans. The same happened to every Gem in Little Homeworld; they had no idea what was happening. Some were freaking out; others believed this was all a weird dream.

"Whoa, check this out!" the now humanized Teal Zircon exclaimed as she felt her new heart pumping. "Having a heart is really cool!"

"Blonde? So not my color!" Laz complained about her and Zuli's new hair colors.

"Hey, I think I look kinda cute." Zuli disagreed with Laz.

"Can someone get my hair out of my face?" Eyeball asked as she tried to brush away her bangs over her left eye.

"If I am a human, then that must mean Ruby and Sapphire no longer exist." Garnet muttered in horror as she gazed at her palms where her gems should be.

"Wow, you look almost the same." Tanzanite remarked at Apatite's darker-skinned human form.

"So do you," Apatite replied, commenting that Tanzanite had more human-looking skin and no other changes.

"This feels so strange," Serpentine commented on her new look. "Anyone else feeling the same?"

"Ditto." Albite nodded affirmatively.

"I don't feel that much different." Desert Glass remarked. "Of course, being human would mean our lifespan has now been dramatically shortened."

"Don't say that!" Tiger's Eye yelled in shock.

"What's going on?!" Beryl asked.

"Did you see this coming, Black Rutile?!" Amazonite dramatically asked Black Rutile. "Did you predict that we would be stabbed in the back and forced into these organic forms?!"

"Yeah, it's about time you talked!" Amethyst agreed with Amazonite.

"Okay, fine!" Black Rutile stated. "His power is too great for me to take on alone, which means that the only way to stop him is to," she gagged in her mouth at what she was about to say. "team up. But first, a little history lesson."

--

Eons ago, before time had a name, there was an all-powerful kingdom of reality-warping beings whose empire spanned entire multiverses. Before becoming the mad trickster who would influence human events for millenniums to come, Flipso was but a humble court jester for the royal family that ruled this kingdom. He happily entertained the royals and the people who would meet him, but eventually, something inside him would change. Rather than entertain the people, he would amuse himself by using his godlike powers to cause chaos. Why? Because he thought it was cool.

Upon destroying the empire and ascending to godhood, Flipso's actions would catch the attention of Solaris Noctua, the cosmic librarian who watched over the multiverse from his endless library. Fearing that Flipso would become a danger to all possible realities, Solaris would assemble an army of some of the mightiest beings in existence to stand a chance against him.

He would call upon the likes of the New Gods and the Celestialsapiens, the Children of Oberon, the Ninja Tribunal, the Thirteen Primes, the twelve Gods of Destruction, the Eternals, the Great Dragon, the Q Continuum, the Eight Guardian Generals, and many, many more. They all answered Solaris's call for help and came together as a mighty army that could counter Flipso's power.

The ensuing battle of gods was so great that trillions of realities were erased from existence because that much godly power was just too great for anybody to handle. The war on Flipso would last for many days and nights; some might say it stayed for longer than an eternity, but eventually, Flipso got bored of the fighting and decided to try and go home.

Unfortunately for him, Solaris used this as an opportunity to seal the jester away for good and trap him in the space beyond the omniverse. Despite Flipso's confinement, he would find a way to discover one universe he had an interest in for a while and influence the history of the creatures known as humans. Eventually, one soul learned of Flipso's existence and documented him in the spellbook that would come into the ownership of Rasputina. That man's name was Grigori Rasputin.

--

"Ah, this really is living the dream!" Flipso declared as he made Beach City fall into chaos upon his arrival at the seaside town. Within mere moments of his entrance, the almighty jester quickly began making himself at home by turning the Pizza family into literal slices of pizza, switching Ronaldo's butt with his mouth, releasing the giant crab monster that had previously been buried in the sand and taking it in as a pet, transforming the lighthouse into a disco ball, making the sky a perfect mix of day and night, among many others acts of defiance towards reality and common sense. "I could really get used to this!"

Meanwhile, in Little Homeworld, the human Gems had begun to settle down and think of a plan. With Rasputina's help, they began examining her grimoire in search of answers about Flipso's weaknesses. And to their surprise and delight, they found their answer.

"Ah-ha, I think I found it!" Pearl exclaimed. "It says here that Flipso can only be temporarily subdued by transferring his powers to whoever holds the Seer to the Void! But one problem, Flipso stole the artifact when he was released, and I'm pretty sure he won't give it back."

"If we do retrieve the Seer, then I volunteer to be the one to stop him." Black Rutile declared. "I was the one who started this mess, so it's only fitting that I stop it as well." However, she turned to the Rutile Rebels to reveal her true intentions to them. "Of course, that would also lead to me stealing Flipso's powers and using them to erase the Gems from existence once and for all."

"Hey, there's something else here!" Amethyst exclaimed and began reading a passage from the tome. "Whoever is foolish enough to steal such power, it will ultimately consume and then destroy them. Wow, intense."

"Now, Black Rutile, are you sure you want to do this?" Pearl asked Black Rutile. "You've heard that gaining such power will be fatal. You know the old saying, right?"

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely." Black Rutile nodded affirmatively. "Well, whoever created such a line has never met me before!"

"Don't get too cocky there." Garnet urged Black Rutile. "This shall only be for a few moments."

"You underestimate me, Garnet." Black Rutile replied. "I haven't fought scores of Gems in the Rebellion just to be told that I can't face one little jester!"

"But that begs the question," Pyrope stated. "what chance do we have against Flipso? We can't summon our weapons, we can't use any of our powers, and I'm pretty sure we're unable to use the Warp Pad to get to Beach City in our current state!"

"Well, I suppose we'll have to make the most of what we have," Demantoid replied.

"Which means we better start walking!" Morganite added.

"Nyet, allow me." Rasputina declared. "I shall use my magic to bring us to where Flipso may be. It is the least I can do to repay Black Rutile for saving me."

"Hey, that reminds me, I'm noticing a suspicious number of old enemies and friends on your side now." White Topaz pointed out. "What are Emerald, Pyrope, Demantoid, Morganite, and Topaz doing here?"

"They are insignificant at the moment!" Black Rutile stopped Amethyst from digging any deeper. "It's just some good old manipulation, nothing more! Now then, shall we, Rasputina?"

"Gladly," Rasputina said before casting a spell that sent herself, the Rutile Rebels, and the Crystal Gems away to follow Flipso.

--

"Man, I could get used to a place like this," Flipso remarked, gazing upon the chaos he had created in Beach City. "Ain't that right, Brenny?"

"Please put me out of my misery." James Brenner, now turned into a helpless ventriloquist dummy by Flipso, begged for the sweet release of death even though it was virtually impossible.

"Yeesh, who knew you'd be such a Debbie downer?" Flipso rolled his eyes before looking towards Marty's decapitated head on a plate served by his body and also smoking a cigarette. "How about you Marty-Mart?"

"Kill me." Marty urged Flipso to end his suffering as well.

"Later!" Flipso scoffed at Marty's expense. "Man, just look at this world." He declared while looking out at the sea beyond him. "So much potential for a little spicing up of everyone's lives! I could give some third-world country everything they could ever want, make it a new global superpower, and watch as the power eventually gets to their heads! I could turn millionaires into politicians; no, that seems like a bad idea."

"Flipso!" Black Rutile cried as the Crystal Gems and Rutile Rebels were warped to Beach City by Rasputina to confront Flipso. "You got some nerve thinking you can stab me in the back!"

"Whoa, look at what he's done with the place." Tiger's Eye gasped at how much Flipso had altered Beach City to fit his twisted morals.

"How could he have done such a thing?!" Pearl yelled in horror. "What is the method to your madness?"

"Are you doing this because you have no sense of right and wrong?" Cat's Eye asked.

"Are you just lonely and only want a friend? What is it?!" Eyeball added.

"Of course, I have a sense of right and wrong." Flipso answered the human Gems. "It's just that I do all this because it's cool."

"See, I told you he survives on pure amusement, just like the book said!" Black Rutile reiterated for the reality-breaking clown.

"In fact, this reminds me of a song! You like songs, right?" Flipso said before clearing his throat and beginning to sing. "Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. From glen to glen and on the mountainside. The summer's gone, and the leaves are falling." He then pulled out a top hat and cane to dance with. "What do I do? What do I do? I can do anything that you can't do!"

As big band music started playing, Flipso conjured up an army of pink elephants to back him up in his psychedelic number. "I could turn you all into puppets!" he declared before transforming his enemies into marionettes to play with. "Yeah, that I can do! Or maybe you all become bread!" Flipso then changed the puppets into various types of bread.

"We're toast!" Teal Zircon cried.

"No man can come up to par with me; it makes you wanna scream!" Flipso exclaimed while sticking Teal Zircon into a toaster and turning her into cinnamon sugar toast. "What do I do? What do I do? I can do anything that you can't do! What do I do? What do I do? Pants to be darkened full of poo!"

"Ew." Desert Glass muttered disgustedly.

"Hm, my, you seem a little stuck in the mud. Let's change that, shall we?" Flipso demonstrated by literally trapping Desert Glass in mud and then sticking her in a washbin. "A little shower will make you smile with glee, all thanks to me!"

"Someone, stop that song!" Jasper commanded and led the charge in trying to stop Flipso in his tracks, but they were powerless to stop him from trapping the combined Gem teams in trapping them in chocolate.

"What do I do? What do I do? I can do anything that you can't do!" Flipso exclaimed before trapping everyone in a challenging video game where they died repeatedly. "What do I do? What do I do? Try and stop me, but wait, you can't do that too!" The song ended as Flipso laughed manically while volcanos erupted from behind him, signifying how he was just as much a deadly threat to humanity as he was hilarious. "Thank you, thank you! You like me; you really like me!" he thanked an imaginary audience while receiving an award for his song. "I'd like to thank all the little people for getting me this far!"

"Enough games, fool!" Black Rutile yelled. "I'm the only one allowed to wreak havoc upon this town and all the fools that live in it! Either leave this planet and never return, or I will destroy you!"

At Black Rutile's threat, Flipso's previous casually psychopathic attitude became far more sinister as he slowly glared at Black Rutile, his face becoming more monstrous in the process. "Are you threatening me?"

"You bet I am!" Black Rutile replied while taking out the grimoire to threaten Flipso with. "This book has all your weaknesses, and I won't stop until I've used every single one of them!" Unfortunately, Flipso immediately snatched the book from her hands and put it under lock and key. "Hey!"

"Sorry, kiddo, but I can't let you end a story like that." Flipso declared mockingly. "But if you want me gone, you'll have to fight me for it first."

"Tell us what the catch is," Garnet said.

Flipso gave the ground rules for his challenge. "The catch is that if I win, I'm sending you all to parts unknown where you can never bother me again. But if you win, I'll leave, and you'll never see me again. But that won't stop me from causing chaos wherever I may end up!"

"Oh, you just had to pull that card!" Amethyst moaned. "Okay, it's a deal!"

"This better be good." Albite added.

"Splendid, and I got just the venue." Flipso grinned eagerly before he teleported everybody away.

--

In a massive arena filled with cheering fans, the Gems were teleported into a wrestling ring where Flipso was the host. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND EVERYONE ELSE IN-BETWEEN, WELCOME TO THE CAN'T-MISS EVENT OF THE EON!" a duplicate of Flipso yelled into a microphone. "IN THIS CORNER, A BUNCH OF HUMANS CALLING THEMSELVES GEMS!" The crowd began booing at the Gems, who reacted with embarrassment and confusion. "AND IN THIS CORNER, OUR REIGNING CHAMPION, THE BREAKER OF REALITIES, THE DEVOURER OF WORLDS, IIIIT'S-"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MY NAME IS!" Flipso's voice echoed from above as the spotlights revealed him in stereotypical wrestling gear while wearing the Seer to the Void around his neck. "The champ is here! AND HIS NAME IS FLIPSO!" The crowd began going wild as Flipso leaped down into the ring, creating massive shockwaves as he landed and took the microphone out of the referee's hands. "THAT'S RIGHT, BROTHAS, SISTAHS, AND EVERYBODY ELSE, FLIPSO IS READY! OOOOOHHHH, YEAAAAH!"

"Oh no." an irritated Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, White Topaz, Aquamarine, Cat's Eye, Holly Blue, Desert Glass, Topaz, Amazonite, Albite, Pyrope, Morganite, and Serpentine groaned.

"OH YEAH!" Amethyst, Jasper, Albite, Tiger's Eye, Eyeball, Teal Zircon, Tanzanite, Emerald, Beryl, Emerald, and Demantoid added eagerly at the chance to wrestle.

"Now let me tell ya something, ya stupid Gems," Flipso jeered his opponents. "you got some nerve trying to combat the single most powerful clown in the entire universe! But since I gotta play fair according to Rule A-113 of Da Rules, I'll give you back your weapons." He snapped his fingers, giving everyone their weapons to be better matched against him. "Now come on, come at me and get some!"

"Finally, some action!" Jasper grinned excitedly before charging at Flipso and punching him square in the face. "Get him, everybody!"

As the human Gems began fighting Flipso, Solaris Noctua appeared among the audience to watch while helping himself to some popcorn, a soda, and a chili cheese dog as he closely examined Flipso duking it out. "I should've known he'd get out." He shook his head disdainfully. "Hopefully, those Gems know what they're doing."

As the fight continued, Flipso became far more animalistic in his movements and fighting, almost like he was becoming the violent monster he was described as in legend. Regardless of the Gems' current species, some of their combat experience, especially Amethyst and Jasper, stayed the same. Soon, Rasputina's grimoire began hanging over the ring like a briefcase to be won in a wrestling match, and naturally, only one could take it for themselves.

"There, there is my book!" Rasputina yelled as she pointed to the spellbook. "Someone, grab it at once and throw it to me!"

"On it!" Black Rutile replied. "Someone, throw me!" On command, Holly Blue raced to her boss while everyone else kept Flipso busy. Amazonite, Tanzanite, Apatite, Albite, Desert Glass, Beryl, Tiger's Eye, Serpentine, Teal Zircon, Topaz, Demantoid, Pyrope, Emerald, and Morganite were all suddenly blown back as Flipso changed into a more beastly form, angered that his fun would have to end so soon.

"I refuse to let anyone poop on my party!" Flipso shrieked like a banshee as he charged at Black Rutile, being tossed into the air by Holly Blue, and the two began fighting over the grimoire. "I thought we had something special here, babe! The two of us would've caused so much destruction together!"

"But you betrayed me, you disgusting gremlin!" Black Rutile argued back. "Was this your plan the whole time?! Did you exploit me for your twisted games?!"

"I don't care; just give it back!" Flipso yelled back as Black Rutile tried distracting him by ripping the Seer to the Void off his neck and grabbing the grimoire in accord. "Oh no."

"Oh yes!" Black Rutile cheered as she tossed the book to Rasputina. "Now, cast the reversal spell!"

"With pleasure." Rasputina grinned evilly while casting a spell to keep Flipso contained. "Jamaic Kirkhopus, Sontenny Leonidas, Spartan Hellacious Apocalpyso!" With that chant, all the Gems were officially restored to normal by negating Flipso's magic, leaving Black Rutile free to absorb the clown's powers for herself.

"YEEEEESSSS!" Black Rutile roared delightedly as she felt herself becoming a god beyond gods. "This power, this unlimited power! I could do anything with this level of omnipotence, the world is my oyster, and I am the pearl! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Don't you realize what you're doing, kiddo?" Flipso frowned as he was reduced to a mortal man. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely. That much power could probably kill you! Listen, I'll leave you guys alone if you give me my powers back!"

"Sorry! After the way you treated me, it's only fitting that I repay in kind!" Black Rutile replied while examining the possibilities of her new powers. "I can see it all now. Not only can I use these abilities to be rid of Steven for good, but I will use them to hunt down any young hero like him! Trollhunters fighting their last battle, huntresses losing that more honest soul, invincible champions reduced to puddles of blood, an age of wonderbeasts coming to a destructive end, human witches and warriors of calamity meeting their untimely demise, princesses of power, heroes of heroes, vampire slayers, guardians of light, American dragons, all of them destroyed with a mere wave of my hand!"

"You need to stop this!" White Topaz urged Black Rutile. "Like Flipso said, this power could kill you if you're not careful! Please, listen to people other than yourself for just once in your life!"

"No, I will destroy everything! Destroy, destroy, and destroy more until this world disappears! That is the reason I'm standing here today!" Black Rutile laughed manically as she prepared to use her newly gained omniscience to wipe the Crystal Gems from reality once and for all. But just as she was about to attack, the now godly Rutile suddenly gained an epiphany.

"No! Now I see the universe for what it is: We are all dust, bound by one enormous, universal force. No, not universal, not even multiversal! This omniversal force continues forever, in every direction through every reality!" Black Rutile began a monologue before turning to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. "My lust for power, my hatred of Pink Diamond, it isn't just evil, ultimately; it's pointless. I could never truly destroy you. You would only have been not unexistent in what could have not now been the past, present, and partial future. To tear down and destroy is of no consequence or quality; to create is divine."

"Okay, I think that's enough playtime for you, Blackie." Flipso muttered as he anticlimactically snatched the Seer to the Void away from Black Rutile, regaining his powers as he stuffed it in his pockets. "Listen, babes, I had a lot of fun here, but I can definitely see that you're way more boring than I expected. I mean, come on, working together?! I thought you two were supposed to be at each other's throats for arbitrary reasons! And who's this Steven kid, and why does Black Rutile have such a huge hatred for a freakin' teenager?"

"They came together because of you." Solaris Noctua proclaimed as he finished his chili cheese dog and warped into the ring to confront Flipso. "I should've known you'd use such wicked hearts to enact your escape, Flipso."

"Oh no, it's the fuzz! I can't go back to jail!" Flipso yelled and tried to escape, but Solaris kept him from fleeing by grabbing his ankle. "Hey, let me go!"

"You must be Solaris Noctua, correct?" Black Rutile asked as she groveled at the sight of the cosmic librarian. "It is an honor to be in your presence, sir! I apologize; the creature took advantage of my lust for power and played me right into his hands!"

"She struck a deal with him." Eyeball admitted to Solaris.

"How unfortunate. This planet has had enough interplanetary visitor dudes as is." Solaris said before he started chuckling. "Dudes. Such a silly word."

"You'll never take me alive!" Flipso screamed as he wriggled free and poofed away.

"I'll catch up with him later." Solaris rolled his eyes before returning to the restored Crystal Gems and Rutile Rebels. "As for you, it's time for you to go home." He snapped his fingers, sending all the Gems back to Beach City before flying away.

--

Once the Crystal Gems and Rutile Rebels were brought back to Beach City, it seemed like that, thanks to the reversal spell, everything Flipso destroyed was back to normal. Well, minus the fact that the giant crab monster was still around and was now entering the ocean, no doubt to find a new home.

"Well, now that Flipso is finally dealt with, our alliance ends." Garnet declared to Black Rutile while taking the grimoire and bubbling it to the Burning Room, where she ensured no one would ever find it again. "But make no mistake; we're still watching you."

"I don't care; I'm just going to take a few days off after that bout of omnipotence made me rethink my life's choices." Black Rutile answered. "But that won't stop me from finding ways to ruin you for what you did to me!"

"Still as determined as ever." A shaken James Brenner gasped as he dusted himself and checked his jaw to see if he was still a puppet.

"Good grief, I need a smoke after all that," Marty replied before whipping out a cigarette.

"We may no longer have a god by our side, but we still have a far greater weapon." Black Rutile smirked while clenching her fist. "Fear."

--

"And then Black Rutile got all nihilistic and junk as she gained my powers!" Flipso complained to an old friend of his as they played cards together. Said old friend had the head of a pony and various other animal parts making up the rest of his body. "Puh-lease, if you want to become almighty, you gotta own it! You know what I'm saying?!"

"That Beach City place seems awfully dull," Discord observed while revealing his cards and winning the hand. "I mean, almost any kind of conflict is just resolved instantly with crying and singing! Now, my world isn't that much different, but at least it's way more adventurous, and some foes still get comeuppance!"

"Kinda like how you never got any punishment for impersonating that Grogar guy?" Flipso replied.

"Hey, I can get away with being as obnoxious and destructive as possible after becoming friends with my enemies!" Discord fired back. "What's your excuse as to why you couldn't do the same?!"

"Because it's not cool enough." Flipso proclaimed.

--

And John de Lancie as Discord.

At long last, Flipso is finally dealt with and we can move onto Black Rutile using the Internet and Earth politics against our heroes. I wish I had dedicated more time to Flipso, but it's my story and I can't just change everything at the last minute. But in the meantime, we got a certain brigade of Pearls coming back next episode and with them, some old friends of Black Rutile and a few we haven't seen before either. Catch you then!

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 20: Famethyst Reunion (originally posted on May 8, 2023)

AN: For almost three years now, I've basically made Holly Blue Agate into my personal punching bag whenever I need a member of the Rutile Rebels to suffer, and frankly I made the right choice. Yellow Diamond says that an Agate must terrify, but Holly takes it to a whole new level with her abuse of the Famethyst. While it was amusing to see nobody give her any attention in the original Future now that she's been stripped of her privileges, Holly Blue was part of my initial roster of enemy Gems teaming up to get revenge on Steven that I came up with in the lead-up to the movie's release, so that's where she landed herself in the world of Alternate Future. But now, just like what Two Birds on a Wire was for Aquamarine and Eyeball, this chapter shall decide whether our favorite abusive Agate still has a place in Black Rutile's inner circle or if she should try making a change.

Synopsis: The Famethyst want to enroll in Little Homeschool, and Cherry Quartz is nominated to show them around. Desperate to be as far away from the Quartzes as possible, Holly Blue Agate tries to spoil the tour.

Cast:

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Kimberly Brooks as Cherry Quartz, Jasper, Superfan Rose, Hippie Rose, Shy Rose, Skinny Jasper, Carnelian, Angel Aura Quartz, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper, Dalmatian Jasper, Flint

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Famethyst, Blue Lace Agate, Ocean Jasper, Crazy Lace Agate, Tiger's Eye, Chert, Lace Amethyst

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

John Mulaney as Flipso

Estelle as Garnet

Deedee Magno Hall as Pearl, Volleyball

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Cristina Vee as Jay-Ten

Lamar Abrams as Wy-Six

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Toks Olagundoye as Mayor Nanafua

--

"Okay, class, now that we've reviewed proper pressure point techniques, I'd like one of you to come up and demonstrate what you've learned," Jasper said to her self-defense class one summer day in Little Homeworld. "Who would like to go first?"

"I do, I do!" Cherry Quartz eagerly said while raising her hand. "I've been listening the whole time!"

"Ah, Cherry Quartz, good to see such an attentive student." Jasper grinned at the spotted quartz as she walked up to Holly Blue. "Now then, remember what I have taught you and go from there."

"Okay, Cherry, remember what Jasper taught you." Cherry repeated to herself while examining the Agate turned unwilling training dummy, who was already sweating in terror and breathing shakily.

"Please go easy on me." Holly Blue whimpered pathetically before Cherry struck her in the chest, the knees, the eyes, and between her legs in short order. When Cherry decided to finish her off with a neck pinch, Holly had been the reluctant teaching assistant long enough to know something was wrong. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm giving you a neck pinch, just like Jasper taught us," Cherry replied innocently.

"No, no, no, stupid, you've got it much too high." Holly corrected while pointing to where her neck should be pinched. "It should be down here, where the shoulder meets the neck."

"Like this?" Cherry asked as she followed Holly's instructions.

"Precisely," Holly replied before she collapsed from the damage taken to her form. "Oh, someone just poof me now."

"I'm surprised you didn't after taking that many hits," Jasper observed the collapsed Agate before turning back to her class. "Okay, everyone, next time I'll teach you how to poof a Gem with just a few hits! That's all; now get out of here!" As the class began to leave, Jasper turned back to Holly Blue. "And that goes for you too. The thought of seeing you lie there makes me sick."

"No, you make me sick," Holly grumbled as she got up and trudged away from Jasper. "I hate everything about this planet so much."

--

"And you know what was worst about today?!" Holly Blue complained to Black Rutile as soon as she got home to vent her frustrations, even though she was hardly paying attention and was more focused on looking at Yatter on her computer while sipping some coffee. "Cherry didn't even get the neck pinch right, so I had to remind her how to do it!"

"Yes, yes, boo-hoo-hoo, woe is me and such." Black Rutile replied coldly. "I guess that's what happens when you've been abusing Quartz gems for thousands of years just because the Diamonds told you to."

"Yeah, I have to agree with Rooty on this one." Flipso agreed with his Gem partner while Black Rutile gave him a confused look for the nickname she was given. "I mean, were you always like this, or did you get so far up your big blue butt that you stopped caring for anyone else but yourself and your status?"

"What are you trying to do? Get my life story?" Holly Blue asked confusedly and tried to walk away, only to turn around and discover Flipso giving her puppy dog eyes. "Ah well, since you seem so insistent, I'll tell."

--

When Holly Blue first emerged in the Kindergarten from when she was created on the planet Glados, she was given one purpose alone. To train Homeworld's Quartz soldiers to be perfect warriors, no matter how rough she may be. However, Holly was a bit tougher on the Quartzes she taught than expected; the Diamonds believed it was a necessary evil to create the soldiers they wanted for battle.

Eventually, when Pink Diamond was shattered and her human zoo was left without someone to watch over it and the Amethysts, Jaspers, Carnelians, and other Quartzes within, Blue Diamond needed someone to keep them all in line so they don't slack off on watching over the humans they kept prisoner. So naturally, she selected Holly Blue Agate for the job.

"I promise you, your grand clarity, I will not fail you!" Holly Blue eagerly declared, starting a career that would define her for the next couple thousand years. However, everything changed once the Crystal Gems infiltrated the zoo, and they ruined her life within just a few short hours. Because she was more focused on the Sapphire among them to notice that the Pearl didn't bother hiding the star on her chest, the Crystal Gems played her for a complete fool. They made their escape with the latest human prisoner while she was left to become a plaything of the quartzes, or the Famethyst, as the minuscule Amethyst called them.

Era 3 made things worse as not only did Steven convince everyone that Pink Diamond was his mother, he conned the entire Gem race into abandoning the caste system altogether, leaving Holly without anybody to take orders from as the Famethyst continued bullying her with no repercussions.

"I have to get out of here and fast!" Holly Blue panted harshly as she hid from some boisterous Amethysts in the containment area of the zoo. "Curse that Steven! He took advantage of my loyalty and played me like a total idiot! Now I have nothing else except for those off-color Gems always picking on me."

"Hey, Holly, you still want to play tag with us?" Carnelian giggled as she and her skinny Jasper friend searched the containment area for Holly Blue. "Come on; we'll let you be it!"

"Eh, I say we let her run." The skinny Jasper responded coolly, unaware that a shadow with half-shaven hair was looming before her. "Makes it more exciting that way." Just then, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder, and she turned around. "Uh, can I help you? How did you get here?"

"You left the door open." Zoisite coldly answered before socking Skinny Jasper in the face, knocking her out cold. "I had to fight through dozens of your friends to reach my target."

"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Carnelian yelled as Zoisite pulled a destabilizer from her gem to stab Carnelian with, the intense electric shocks making the little red Gem shriek in agony before her physical form gave out and escaped to her gem.

"The big idea is that I'm looking for someone," Zoisite replied before she began calling out to Holly. "Come on out, Holly Blue Agate, you're safe now!"

"What, who said that?" Holly Blue asked meekly while peeking out of some bushes. "Zoisite, is that you? Where have you been all this time?"

"Oh, you know, fighting Gem criminals before a certain someone changed everything." Zoisite proclaimed. "That is why I came here and took down all those off-colors. I have a friend who is demanding that you come with me, and she won't take no for an answer."

"Now, just a second, Zoisite." Holly Blue stated. "You can't just barge in here, take down all these unruly Gems and expect me to do as you say! As much as I love taking orders, I refuse to listen to a mere assassin!"

"Well, you should because this assassin is your only chance at returning to your old life!" Zoisite began arguing with Holly Blue when she heard her communicator going off. "One second, I have to take this." She muttered before pulling out her communicator to talk to her partner Dalmatian Jasper on the other end. "Hello?"

"Zoisite, I got another Ruby and an Aquamarine." Dalmatian Jasper declared on her end of the call. "How are things on your end?"

"Not great," Zoisite replied glumly. "This Holly Blue is really grating on my nerves."

"You take that back!" Holly Blue yelled, starting another argument while Dalmatian Jasper kept watching.

--

"I can still hear their laughter when I close my eyes." Holly Blue whispered in terror. "Their insults, their cheering, the breaking of valuables. The horror, the horror."

"You can have PTSD in front of me later; I'm working here." Black Rutile said while reading from her psychology book. "Or maybe you're just being overdramatic because you refuse to accept change."

"Says you!" Holly Blue yelled back at Black Rutile. "You nearly destroyed the Earth because you refused to accept change!"

"Yes, but I believed that Steven would be a detriment to our society, that he was no better than Pink Diamond!" Black Rutile argued. "My utter Brobdingnagian hatred for Pink and how she wanted everything her way extended to her wretched spawn and how he actually succeeded in making everything his way!" Just then, a loud rumbling came from outside, followed by casting a large shadow over the Rutile Rebels' house. "What was that?"

"Either my mother-in-law is coming, or we're due for a plot development." Flipso answered as Black Rutile and Holly Blue looked out their window to discover the human zoo descending towards Earth. "I'll have you know; my mother-in-law is one of the most dangerous beings in the omniverse. Rumor has it she once made the One Above All cry."

"No, not them, anyone but them!" Holly Blue shrieked in terror and began breathing rapidly while reliving traumatic memories of losing everything because of Steven. "Why did they have to come back?!"

"What is happening here?!" Cat's Eye yelled as she, her cat Blake, Aquamarine, and the Rubies stepped into the living room to see Holly Blue curled up into a ball, having a panic attack. "And what's up with Holly?"

"No need to alarm everyone; she's just having a panic attack." Black Rutile assured her subordinates while looking through her psychology book again, even though Holly Blue was too shaken to hear her. "We'll just need to give her some space until she recovers."

"Wow, what a realistic portrayal of a panic attack; someone calls the film buffs on Yatter!" Flipso laughed as Holly Blue continued panting sharply and grabbed at her chest. She couldn't deal with them again or even think of them again. Nonetheless, it was the fate she was forced into the moment she was banished to Little Homeschool.

"Hey, I think she's coming back!" Aquamarine exclaimed as Holly Blue's panic attack subsided, and she was helped to her feet by Cat's Eye.

"So what was that all about?" Cat asked a panting Holly.

"My apologies, just some bad memories of my first encounter with Steven," Holly stated while hugging Cat's Eye tight. "Please don't ever abuse me like those rowdy Amethysts did, promise?"

"Well, look who's talking?" Flipso sneered at the touching scene before him. "We all know you're just making stuff up as you go along to make people feel sorry for you. Like my distant cousin, for example, they're like a child of the stars who claimed not to know diddly squat about death even though he gave a fascist Puritan dictator the means to commit magical genocide!"

"I'm not even going to bother comprehending what you're talking about." Black Rutile muttered in annoyance as she walked outside to see the Crystal Gems helping a large group of humans out of the zoo. "Wait, are those the zoo humans? What are they doing here?"

"Oh, is this that Black Rutile we keep hearing about?" one of them, a curvy blonde with green eyes, asked as she got awkwardly close to Black Rutile. "Hello there, my name is Jay-Ten; it is nice to meet you."

"Charmed, I'm sure." Black Rutile nervously greeted Jay-Ten with a handshake. "Now, can anyone care to tell me what is going on right now?"

"As part of atoning for their atrocities, the Diamonds have decided now is the time to dismantle the human zoo and relocate everyone in it to Earth," Garnet answered. "So we implore you and your friends to be on your best behavior, Black Rutile."

"Eh, behave this, you guys!" Amethyst cried as she turned to face her fellow Amethysts emerging from the ship. "Yo, Famethyst, welcome to Earth!"

"8XM!" the massive array of Amethysts, Jaspers, and one Carnelian yelled in delight as they began stampeding towards Amethyst, while Holly Blue could only stand and watch as her worst nightmares were now here on the same planet as her. The only thing she could do was collapse from shock.

"Amethyst, it's been ages!" Carnelian shrieked while grabbing Amethyst and spinning her around. "How has Little Homeworld been?"

"Been doing great lately." Amethyst laughed happily. "I am so glad you guys are going to stay here; we got so much on Earth to show you."

"So, you must be Jasper, eh?" Skinny Jasper said to Jasper. "Have to say, I guess the stories about you were true."

"A defective Jasper, huh?" Jasper nodded to her defective, skinnier counterpart while the other Quartzes of Little Homeworld were reintroduced to the Famethyst. "Never would I see the day."

"Hey, Holly Blue!" one of the Amethysts shouted to the passed-out Agate. "Something the matter?"

"Oh, don't mind her; she's just too traumatized to interact with you." Black Rutile said while picking up Holly Blue and shaking her awake. "WAKE UP, YOU WORTHLESS DRAMA QUEEN! DON'T YOU DARE HAVE A MOMENT OF CLARITY THAT WILL CONVINCE YOU TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS ON MY WATCH, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Give her a bit. She'll come to." Chest Rose answered relaxedly. "Oh hey Pearl, long time no see, babe."

"Ehehehehe, hello Rose Quartzes." Pearl laughed nervously, pulling at her shirt collar while surrounded by the three Rose Quartzes who accompanied her, Steven, and Volleyball to the Reef, along with dozens of others. "It's a pleasure meeting you all again."

"Well, if all these Quartz Gems want to know more about Earth and Little Homeworld, then it's only logical that a Quartz shall give them the tour." Peridot stated. "Any volunteers?"

"I'll do it!" Cherry Quartz accepted the proposition. "I call dibs!"

"Hey, I saw them first!" Tiger's Eye added competitively, followed by Blue Lace & Crazy Lace Agate, Ocean, Zebra & Biggs Jasper, Lace Amethyst, Angel Aura Quartz, and Flint & Chert crowding around Cherry.

"Good to see you're all so eager," Lapis responded as the human zoo Quartzes all gathered around the Little Homeworld Quartzes, and they began showing them around Little Homeworld. "Now then, while Cherry and Tiger's Eye is giving them the tour, let's try and get these humans situated here."

"Just as long as Ga-Reg doesn't show his face and refuse to choose us again!" Wy-Six added sourly.

"You know, we should start thinking of expanding the place soon." Bismuth pointed out. "I mean, with this many Gems excited to move in, I'm not sure if Little Homeworld can fit all of them without having to move some out."

"Uh uh, no, thank you!" Holly objected to the notion. "Only a few Quartzes causing trouble is enough; imagine how much chaos even more of them could cause!" Unfortunately, nobody was listening to her, much to Holly's anger as she growled and stomped away.

--

"Hehehe, look at him go!" Flipso chuckled as he played a video game about running cookies. "Go, little Earth snack, run from that witch!"

"You there, jester!" Holly Blue yelled as she barged in on Flipso's gaming session, interrupting the chaos god's train of thought and giving him a game over. "Help me with my problems, now!"

"I was in the middle of something, lady!" Flipso complained as he switched off his game and stomped up to Holly Blue. "What do you want?!"

"I require your assistance because I'm currently facing a crisis." Holly Blue answered. "These Amethysts that have menaced me in my time as overseer of the human zoo are moving to Earth, and they're sure to make my life a living nightmare once again. Are there any spells you have that could just poof them away?"

"Oh no, sistah, I may be a psychopathic wielder of all-powerful chaos energy, but I got a specific set of rules I made for myself to follow!" Flipso stated as he presented a large purple book with 'DA RULES' written on the front and opened it to read its contents. "Rule #24601, my powers are not to be exploited for petty gain. Any attempts at that will result in me stabbing whichever schmuck tries to do it in the back and possibly preventing them from ever existing. Depends on my mood, though, so consider yourself lucky."

"Wait for a second; you have a set of rules?" Holly asked, trying not to laugh at such a concept. "Since when?"

"I've been causing chaos for so long; even I keep forgetting." Flipso remarked while putting the book away. "Which reminds me, would you care to hear how my powers have influenced human history? I once destroyed Pompeii after using Mount Vesuvius as a barbecue pit. There was also a little game of pigskin with the boys where someone threw the football a little too hard, and that became the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. Ooh, I also once caused that earthquake in east Japan followed by that tsunami because I was in the bathroom after eating some bad taquitos. And I also once had a cold, and I sneezed on some rats who started spreading the Black Plague. Also, do you want to know why Pluto is no longer considered a planet? That was me!"

Holly Blue could only stare in shock at the audacity of this being as he cheerfully reminisced on the death and destruction that he played a part in over the centuries. This was different from what the Diamonds formerly did because it was their duty; this creature acted like this was a hobby he indulged in every day. No wonder Black Rutile wanted to free him; he was just as ambivalent towards the safety of others as she was!

--

"So, let me get this straight, Crystal Gems." Mayor Nanafua Pizza said to the Crystal Gems in her office. "These humans are from a space zoo owned by the Diamonds, but now they want nothing to do with the zoo anymore and have handed their humans over to you."

"Yes, that is exactly what we're doing here; we wish to have the Zoomans officially recognized as citizens so they can start a new life here, free from captivity." Pearl nodded before finding Wy-Six trying to eat a book off the shelf. "Hey, that's not food!"

"Then why does it look so delicious?" Wy-Six innocently asked as Pearl cleaned up the drool-covered book and returned it to the shelf.

"Some things just aren't meant to be eaten," Pearl advised Wy-Six. "Unless you're Amethyst. She once ate a cloud and became inflated like a balloon."

"I got hit by an airplane!" Amethyst laughed while remembering that event.

"Well, do they have any birth certificates we can find?" Nanafua asked.

"Not that we know of," Garnet replied. "As far as we know, the Zoomans are all descendants of the humans that were brought to the zoo, and no other human has been captured for millennia before Greg."

"Hey Gems, heard you guys were doing something about that crazy zoo up in space." Greg declared as he stepped into the mayor's office as if someone made him appear by saying his name three times. "You know, I'd be more than happy to help; you just need to say the-"

"Look, everyone; it is Ga-Reg!" one of the Zoomans yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Greg, who was left wide-eyed in shock at seeing them again. "You should know we refuse to forgive you for rejecting us!"

"Look, I said I was flattered that you wanted to choose me or whatever, but I just wasn't feeling it!" Greg nervously laughed. "Maybe we could start over?"

"Get him!" another Zooman commanded, making Greg run for his life from the stampeding Zoomans as they began chasing him across Beach City.

"I think someone has a ton of explaining to do." Jasper growled as she, Garnet, Lapis, and White Topaz followed the Zooman horde outside. "The rest of you take care of things here. We'll go save Greg."

"Figured he would've shown up at the wrong place at the wrong time." Garnet declared morosely.

"Though I must admit, it was pretty funny how they ganged up on him." White Topaz laughed.

"Oh, extremely funny!" Jasper chuckled before the four Gems set off to save Greg from the angry mob.

--

Back at Little Homeworld, Holly Blue was now digging a hole in the ground with rigorous tenacity, all while Cat's Eye watched with bemusement as she stroked Blake. "Uh, what are you digging a hole for? Are you planning to dig to China or something?"

"No, this is but a trap that I shall you to imprison those off-color Gems and finally get them out of my hair!" Holly Blue cackled. "Once they fall into the pit, I'll refill the hole and make sure they never find a way to get out!"

"Or you could just calmly tell them that their mistreatment of you has caused you extreme stress," Cat advised. "Seriously, I get that you're stressed, but this is a little much."

"Ooh, I got an even better idea!" Holly cackled evilly. "I'll get them all poofed, and then I'll put them in a box! Then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, I'll smash it with a hammer!" She let out another insane laugh, signaling to Cat's Eye that she has officially gone mad with either revenge, trauma, or, most likely, both.

"Holly, my dearest friend, your mouth is moving. Words are coming out. This is not good." Cat's Eye firmly stated as she grabbed Holly by the wrist and dragged her out of her hole. "Seriously, what did Dr. Sucrose say about this? Learning to stand up for yourself by being fair but still a little stern at the same time?"

"Do you really think that'll work?" Holly asked nervously. "For real life?"

"Yeah, whatever you just said, darling." Cat gave the Agate a sweet, feline grin while Blake let out an innocent meow.

"Fine, if it'll make you happy." Holly sighed as she walked away before stopping to turn her head. "Oh, and uh, Cat? You're a pretty good friend."

"You're too kind," Cat smirked as Black Rutile appeared. "Oh, hey, BR."

"What is Holly Blue doing?" Black Rutile asked the former lawyer. "I wanted to give her a new assignment."

"Oh, she's off to finally call out that Famethyst for their abuse of her." Cat revealed to her leader's shock.

"Oh no, am I in danger of losing yet another minion?!" Black Rutile asked fearfully as she tried following Holly Blue. "Well, I won't allow th-AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Before she could walk any further, the Rutile fell into the hole that Holly had dug. "WHERE DID THIS HOLE COME FROM?!"

"You should've watched your step," Cat smirked at the Rutile's expense.

"NOW YOU TELL ME!" Black Rutile complained as she tried to climb back up.

--

"And right here, you have the best view in all of Little Homeschool." Cherry Quartz declared as she took the zoo Quartzes to the top of the whirlybird tower, where they all could see Beach City from miles away. "Pretty impressive, huh?"

"Killer." Chest Rose replied in amazement.

"Wow, it feels like I'm flying!" Shoulder Rose cheered in excitement.

"Don't get too excited, Rosie; I wouldn't want you to fall." Tiger's Eye said, trying to calm the super-eager Rose down. "We may be invulnerable, but we can't be too careful."

"She's right. We're really high up." Navy Rose agreed with Tiger's Eye, looking down at the ground way down below.

"Hey, wanna see who lands first?" one of the Amethysts suggested just as Holly Blue managed to find the Famethyst on top of the tower. "Let's use Holly Blue as a test!"

"Stop." Holly Blue firmly said, stopping the Amethyst where she stood. "Just stop."

"Whoa, she's not screaming in our faces for once." Skinny Jasper whispered to Carnelian. "She must be really serious."

"It's time we had a talk." Holly declared calmly, despite looking so enraged. "For nearly three years since the Crystal Gems came into our lives, you've treated me as nothing more than a punching bag because you think I deserved it for all the horrible things I did to you."

"Well, you do!" Carnelian exclaimed. "I mean, all the yelling and screaming and blaming us for stuff we didn't do! It's called karma, HB; get used to it!"

"And that is why I'm sorry!" Holly Blue finally shouted, much to the shock of the Famethyst, that she would say such a thing and without a hint of mockery too. "I'm sorry that I was so horrible to all of you; I only wanted to follow my orders to the letter, and look how that turned out! And I'll only follow through with this apology if you promise never to abuse me again! As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!"

"Wait, are you serious?" another Amethyst murmured in shock at Holly taking responsibility for her actions for once.

"Well, this got intense real quick." Navy Rose added.

"Hey, can I talk with the gang real quick?" Skinny Jasper asked as she and the rest of the Famethyst huddled to discuss Holly's apology. "So what do you think? Should we forgive and forget?"

"Look, guys, I know Holly seems like she genuinely wants to change, but I'm having second thoughts right off the bat." An Amethyst whispered her two cents. "Last I remember, she got in trouble for falling in with Black Rutile, and we all know how much of a liar she is. Why don't we just cut our losses and leave her up here?"

"Well, we should just keep an eye on her, just in case." Carnelian agreed before turning back to Holly. "Listen, Holly, just because you apologized to us doesn't mean we'll just instantly forget all the bad things you did to us. But if you really want to make a change for the better, unlike some Gems we've heard of, that's okay with us."

"And we promise to try and go a little easier on you." Skinny Jasper added, making everyone laugh while Holly Blue let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you all for understanding," Holly said gratefully. "It felt so good to just get that off my chest at last and maybe grow as a person along the way."

"There you are; I've been looking all over for you!" Black Rutile yelled as she reached the top of the tower to confront Holly. "Come with me now; I have a new assignment for you!"

"Wait, really?" Holly asked as she was pulled away from the Famethyst.

"I knew she'd still hang with her." Skinny Jasper muttered.

"Oh well, hopefully, she keeps her end of the deal." Cherry Quartz replied. "Now then, back to the tour!"

--

"What do you want me for?" Holly Blue asked Black Rutile as the two rebels against Era 3 walked to the bottom of the whirlybird tower. "I was just about to have a moment of clarity and possibly redemption here!"

"Not on my watch, Holly!" Black Rutile stated. "I'm not about to let Steven strip you of your ability to think for yourself because I have a new job for you!"

"What kind of job?" Holly Blue asked before Black Rutile presented her with a hologram of the Seer to the Void and Rasputina's grimoire from her visor.

"Just a little breaking and entering." Black Rutile answered. "The Seer to the Void and Rasputina's grimoire are currently located in the Burning Room in the Crystal Temple, and Garnet can only access it via her gems. If you convince her to let you in, you can take both those items and be home free."

"But what do you need them for?" Holly Blue asked again.

"It's finally time to unleash Flipso." Black Rutile declared before she let out an evil laugh. "I've kept him waiting long enough, and now his godlike power will be mine to control!"

--

"Everyone, please calm down!" Garnet yelled to the Zoomans as they continued trying to hunt Greg down for his transgressions. "Just listen to Greg, and we can work things out!"

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea!" Greg exclaimed as he locked himself in his van to hide from the Zoomans. However, that didn't stop the rampaging humans from trying to knock it over. "The universe must have a really twisted sense of humor right now."

"This is going to take all day." Jasper groaned in disgust.

"No, feels like we were chasing them from eleven to thirty minutes now." White Topaz replied. "Lapis, got any ideas?"

"How about I just stick them all in a big bubble?" Lapis suggested. "That should keep them from running around town like crazy?"

"That sounds utterly crazy!" Jasper objected to the idea.

"Well, sometimes crazy works." Garnet disagreed with Jasper. "Go for it, Lapis." At Garnet's command, Lapis summoned water from the nearby shore to wrap the Zoomans in before turning it into a big bubble to contain them. "Nice one."

"Oh, thank you, Lapis, you're a lifesaver!" Greg sighed in relief. "So gang, ready to hear me out now?"

"Okay Ga-Reg, we apologize for our recklessness," Wy-Six replied.

"We just still can't stop holding a grudge," Jay-Ten added. "Hopefully, you can forgive us for trying to hurt you as you hurt us."

"Aw, I can't stay mad at you guys." Greg chuckled.

"Well, that leaves that plotline finally tied up." Garnet sighed in relief. "Time to see how Pearl and the others are doing."

"Hold on a second!" Holly Blue cried as she raced up to Garnet. "Garnet, could you perhaps spare a moment of your time to show me the Burning Room?"

"Well, this is very sudden and quite suspicious," Garnet remarked. "I hope you don't have any ulterior motives."

"No way, I just want to see how empty it is and whether you still have any corrupted Gems left over!" Holly lied through her teeth.

"Guess I got some time to kill." Garnet agreed, making Holly smirk at how the fusion bought her fib hook, line, and sinker. "Come with me. I'll show you around."

"I got a bad feeling about this." White Topaz declared fearfully as Garnet and Holly Blue departed for the Crystal Temple.

--

"Ooh, I love what you've done with the place!" Holly Blue gasped in amazement at the emptied Burning Room, which still had a scant few bubbles containing valuable objects floating around. Two of them, in particular, were just the ones she needed. "Ooh, what are those two?"

"That's the Seer to the Void that we confiscated from Black Rutile, along with the grimoire that belonged to the sorceress Rasputina," Garnet explained to the Agate, who was getting inordinately close to the two bubbles. "I'd like to know why you're so interested in them." Just then, her future vision clued her to Holly's true intentions. "Oh no!"

"Thank you so much for the invitation, Garnet!" Holly Blue laughed heartily as she raced out of the Burning Room onto the Warp Pad. "And the goodie basket was a nice surprise too!"

"Wait, stop!" Garnet cried as Holly Blue disappeared, no doubt returning to Little Homeworld to see Black Rutile. "I have to warn the others and fast!"

--

Holly Blue reappeared on the Warp Pad at Little Homeworld, where the Rutile Rebels eagerly awaited her arrival. "I got them, my Rutile." She said while handing the bubbles over to Black Rutile and taking a bow. "Now, he can be free to smite worlds as he did in days long past."

"Excellent work, Holly Blue." Black Rutile smirked deviously as she patted Holly Blue on the shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't give up on me."

"Finally, let's get this party started!" Flipso cackled in triumph.

--

The time has come for Flipso to regain his physical form and wreak all sorts of havoc on Little Homeworld, Beach City, and perhaps beyond if the Crystal Gems don't stop him! But is he really on the Rutile Rebels' side or has Black Rutile been cooperating with a force that she cannot control? What could this mean for her relationship with the Crystal Gems at large? We'll find out next week when Flipso takes the scene at long last! Wow, I can't believe we're only six chapters left already.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 5: Be Prepared (originally posted on September 25, 2023)

AN: We only have one chapter to go before the big halfway point, and I got quite a few things planned for it. We'll be getting the long-awaited rematch between Steven and Black Rutile, the beginning of the end of the Rutile Rebels, the true nature of Prince Nosiop's plans for the universe, and many more. Tensions will run high as the story reaches the second half, and the endgame will be the most epic that Alternate Future has seen yet. Now without further ado, let's get things started.

Synopsis: Black Rutile and her subordinates find themselves caught in a scheme by the insidious heir to Serpentes's throne to conquer the universe, and Black Rutile is all too eager to get in on the plan for the sake of revenge.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Doc, Navy, Army, Leggy

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Gina Torres as Andesine

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Awkwafina as Kyanite

Allison Janney as Pyrite

Kimberly Brooks as Dalmatian Jasper

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Lena Hall as Bloodstone

Jodie Whittaker as Xenotime

Barbara Dunkelman as Amber

Kristen Schaal as Howlite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Keith David as Pyth

Cissy Jones as Princess Naja Jormagundr

Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundrr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constricta Jormagundr

Zach Callison as Steven

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Atticus Shaffer as Peedee

Matthew Moy as Lars

Julissa Aguirre as Lady Imagineer

John Mulaney as Flipso

--

Prince Nosiop Jormagundr wasn't always the way he was today. When he was a young snake, Nosiop was a prince with big dreams for the future of his race. However, not everyone was willing to listen to him because he was so young, but he didn't let that deter him. One year, during the 419,982nd annual Contest of Champions, Nosiop tried once again to plead his case to his father.

"Conquering the Ood? Surely you jest, my boy!" King Cobralan objected to what his son had just said as the two slithered through the castle halls. "You know we'd be no match for their psychic abilities! It would be utterly stupid!"

"But please, Father, our lives could be so much easier with a hivemind serving us!" Nosiop stated, but his father still wouldn't listen. "In fact, tons of races and planets would be of great use to our people, like the Shamoians, the Mooninites, and the Watchdogs. Maybe we could even abduct ourselves a few Gems!"

"Enough, my son." Cobralan urged his future successor. "I can see you have big ideas, but unfortunately, they don't align with our culture. Now, I'm going to speak with the Universal Lords for a bit. You go off and have fun at the Contest with your mother and your baby sister." He then began to slither away. "I'll see you again soon."

Although Cobralan left the conversation with a smile, Nosiop wasn't as happy as his father. "He just doesn't get it!" Nosiop grumbled angrily. "We could be perfect conquerors, just the two of us ruling the universe as father and son!"

"It truly is a shame that your father wouldn't give you the time of day," Pyth said as he appeared behind Nosiop. "My father was like that too when I was your age. Unlike yours, however, he didn't live long enough to see things my way."

"Are you suggesting I kill my father?" Nosiop asked curiously, causing Pyth to laugh at the idea.

"No, my boy, I'm way past killing parents!" Pyth chuckled loudly. "What do you think I am, Uncle Claudius?!" After another round of laughter, Pyth decided to get serious as he put a hand on the young prince's shoulder. "Come with me, child. There are many things I wish to teach you."

Nosiop obediently followed the royal family's grand vizier down the hallways and into a hidden room within the castle walls. As loyal as he was to his father, the prince of the Slytherophidians often believed that Pyth was more of a dad to him because of how much they agreed with each other on certain topics, chief among them being what should the future holds for their race.

--

"Let's hear it for the Andesine Armada, the new and improved rebellion against the Crystal Gems!" Andesine cried as her new subordinates chanted her name to celebrate her and Cinnabar's victory against Rigby Starglow and Captain Gearfeet. "Today is a most momentous occasion in our time together. With Black Rutile no longer fit to lead our cabal of insurgents against the tyranny of the Crystal Gems, I have proven myself more than worthy of replacing her and instating myself as a gentle guiding hand in our grand mission." The Armada all cheered in excitement. "Under my leadership, not only shall we finally put the Crystal Gems out of their misery, but Black Rutile will soon be next!" Her new subordinates cheered again. "And furthermore, with the Diamonds temporarily out of commission, this shall be an ample opportunity for us to race back to Homeworld when no one's looking and seize power for ourselves!"

"But what if Black Rutile hears us?" Holly Blue asked nervously while looking left and right.

"Stuff and nonsense, we're behind closed doors here." Aquamarine snidely declared. "There's no way she can find us." Just then, the doors to the Andesine Armada's quarters opened behind Aquamarine, and in came Black Rutile with Nosiop and Pyth, much to the other Gems' shock as they tried silently begging her to shut up. "Of course, that is if she hasn't been brainwashed by Steven right about now."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting anything?" Black Rutile abruptly interrupted Aquamarine's bravado, sending chills down her spine as she turned to face her former master. "So, this is what you've all been doing, huh?"

"Uh, my Rutile, this isn't what it looks like!" Cinnabar awkwardly apologized to her old mentor. "Andesine and I were just playing a little game of follow the leader!"

"A likely story." Black Rutile replied while pulling out her bowie knife. "Tell me more about this Andesine Armada you've all been bragging about."

"Should you tell her, or should I?" Tanzanite asked Amazonite.

"No, I value my life too much to even talk to her right now," Amazonite replied fearfully, casting an illusion to hide herself from Black Rutile.

"Now, everyone, let's just calm down here and talk things out." Amber tried to ease the tension, but Black Rutile quickly shoved her out of the way to confront Cinnabar and Andesine.

"I'm going to assume this was all your idea, Andesine." Black Rutile said to her old friend. "After all, your name is literally in the team name!"

"No, it wasn't, it was Kyanite's idea!" Andesine tried to shift the blame onto someone else.

"Hey, I've only been here a few minutes!" Kyanite cried. "What's going on?!"

"Please forgive us, Black Rutile, but we simply believe you can no longer lead us into battle." Cinnabar firmly stated. "Your exile to Earth has turned you soft and pathetic, and you are perfectly aware of it yet never once bothered to fix it!"

"I did!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "I tried allying with a Steven from another universe where I'm the good guy, I struck a bargain with an extra-dimensional jester, and I even used the Internet to turn humanity against the Crystal Gems!"

"But that's the thing, dearie," Pyrite stated while filing her nails. "You failed at every single one of those." She added while poking Black Rutile in the chest with her nail filer. "For all your planning and thinking you're one step ahead of everybody, you fail to realize that you're just as flawed as the rest of us."

"Is that so?" Black Rutile said before turning the knife into her massive sword. "How's this for flawed?!" With a mighty swing, Cinnabar and Andesine were sliced in two and poofed, to the horror of the other Gems around them.

"Boss, no!" Bloodstone yelled in horror as she raced to scoop up Cinnabar's inactive gem while Howlite did the same to her superior's.

"Now then, anyone else care to join them?" Black Rutile smirked while menacingly pointing her sword at the surviving resistance members. Although they were more willing to speak up to their fallen superior, this ragtag band of Gems had every right to keep their mouths shut until one of them spoke up.

"All hail Black Rutile!" Eyeball chanted vigorously. "All hail Black Rutile! Come on, guys!"

"All hail Black Rutile! All hail Black Rutile!" the other members of the newly rechristened Rutile Rebels joined Eyeball in cheering for their new leader.

"Now that's more like it!" Black Rutile laughed evilly while sneering at Cinnabar and Andesine's followers mourning the loss of their leaders. "Now that I've reinstated myself as your fearless leader, allow me to introduce a new acquaintance I've made in my time here." She motioned for Nosiop to step forward. "This is Prince Nosiop of the Jormagundr royal family, and much like me, he also desires a new era for his people."

"Yes indeed, I now present to you a grand idea for the Slytherophidian race," Nosiop stated. "With all of you at my side, we can overthrow my good-for-nothing father and instill myself as not just the new ruler of his empire but as the most powerful Universal Lord there is."

"Are you crazy?!" Holly Blue yelled. "You'd be a fool to challenge a Universal Lord, especially if it's your father, Nosiop!"

"My father is yesterday's message, a clapped-out and distracted regime." Nosiop began singing to the Gem rebels. "Whose failings undoubtedly presage the need for a different dream. Yes, serpentine times are a-changing, meaning you must do so too. My vision is clear and wide-ranging and even encompasses you."

"So, prepare for the coup of the century. Prepare for the murkiest scam." Black Rutile also began singing, and far more intensely than Nosiop, as if she was using the song to air out her insecurities. "Meticulous planning and tenacity spanning centuries of denial is simply why I'll be empress! Undisputed, respected, saluted, and seen for the visionary I am! Yes, my gem and ambitions are bared. Be prepared!"

"Yeah, be prepared, we'll be prepared!" Zoisite exclaimed. "Uh, for what?"

"For the death of my father and the beginning of a new era for Serpentes!" Nosiop loudly announced.

"What do we do, make him sick?" Dalmatian Jasper asked before Pyth coiled his tail around her neck.

"No, you fool, we're going to kill him." Pyth proclaimed.

"And Steven, too." Black Rutile added sinisterly before DJ was dropped to the ground.

"Splendid idea!" Xenotime cheered. "Who needs either of them?!"

"Idiots, there will still be someone to rule!" Nosiop yelled. "Together, Black Rutile and I shall conquer the universe together using the power of the Lapidarist, who has the power to reset all Gems to their basic functions!"

"Wait, really?" Emerald asked nervously, not having a clue as to what Nosiop was talking about.

"Yes, you would all be rejuvenated on a massive scale, so to speak." Nosiop grinned with a hiss. "With her powers, I shall have myself an unstoppable army to overthrow my family and conquer all that I see! Now, who's with me?!"

Despite the dire circumstances this would place not just them but all Gemkind in by wiping everything that made them the Gems they are today, the Rutile Rebels had no choice but to agree out of fear for their lives. However, some were still nervous about how Black Rutile would play a part in this, especially after how she heartlessly poofed two of her most loyal subordinates. "All hail Black Rutile and King Nosiop! All hail Black Rutile and King Nosiop!"

"So, prepare for a glorious future!" Black Rutile announced as the Rutile Rebels chanted, 'Be prepared!'. "Be prepared for a universal golden age!"

"And like any other who'd murder their father!" Eyeball laughed before Aquamarine pulled her fusion partner aside.

"If we don't spread rumors, she'll feed us and groom us!" Aquamarine stated.

"When we've got friends in high places, we hold all the aces!" the Rutile Rebels and a few snake guards chanted harmoniously.

"So don't try and rattle my scales." Nosiop snidely added.

"Oh, imagine if anyone dared!" the chorus cried out. "BE PREPARED!"

"So prepare for the coup of the century!" Nosiop and Black Rutile sang together. "Be prepared for the murkiest scam!"

"Meticulous planning, tenacity planning!" Nosiop proclaimed.

"Centuries of denial is simply why we'll!" Black Rutile added.

"Rule supreme undisputed, respected, saluted, and seen for the visionaries we are!" the villainous duo declared. "Yes, our gems, fangs, and ambitions are bared; be prepared!"

"Yes, our gems, fangs, and ambitions are bared!" Aquamarine, Eyeball, Holly Blue, and Cat's Eye, who have all loyally followed their leader despite everything that's happened, sang together.

"Be prepared!" the newly-formed union of the Rutile Rebels and Nosiop's followers announced, sealing their alliance with a shared evil laugh.

"Pleasure to be working alongside you, partner." Black Rutile said as she and Nosiop shook hands.

"The pleasure's all mine, partner." Nosiop hissed while covertly crossing two scaly fingers behind his back, which implied he desires to stab Black Rutile in the back when she least expected it.

--

"And that's the whole story of how we got here," Ronaldo said to Peedee elsewhere in the Ouraborium. "Though I'm pretty sure I didn't need to tell you all that since you did hitch a ride with us."

"You are definitely right on that one," Peedee answered.

"So why did you do it?" Steven asked. "What would Mr. Fryman say?"

"He said I should keep an eye on him no matter what," Peedee replied firmly. "And if that means hitching a ride with you guys on a spaceship heading for an alien planet in another galaxy, then I'll do it, no problemo. Plus, it would be nice to participate in one of your big adventures, Steven."

"It's nice to have you join in, too, Peedee," Steven said to his old friend with a hand on his shoulder. "But be warned, this planet is insanely deadly. You might be forced to fight for your life in a gladiatorial death match where you might die if you aren't careful!"

"Luckily, you got your big brother to protect you!" Ronaldo exclaimed excitedly while raising his sword.

"Yeah, good luck with that." Peedee dryly remarked, recalling Ronaldo's cowardice in his fight against the Decimator.

"Yeah, ditto." The three boys heard the voice of none other than Lars say as he walked up behind them. "Hey Steven, long time no see. Sorry we had to meet again like this."

"Lars, did they capture you too?!" Steven exclaimed at the undead human before him. "Oh no, where are the Off-Colors? Are they in trouble?!"

"Don't worry, they're fine," Lars assured Steven. "They're just stuck in a cell somewhere since none of them can fight per se. They only want me since I can't really die." Before Lars can continue, he suddenly noticed Ronaldo and Peedee standing behind Steven. "Wait, Ronaldo?! How and when did you and Peedee get here?!"

"We followed Steven here!" Ronaldo answered, smiling. "I was vindicated upon learning that the snake people, I mean, Slytherophidians, were real all along, like many of my theories, and I came along to gather as much info as I could about their people so I could spread them to the humans!"

"And I came along to keep Ronaldo from accidentally killing himself," Peedee added. "So, how's your space adventures been going?"

"That's actually a funny story. The Off-Colors and I were journeying to Wasprus when we got abducted." Lars revealed to the two humans. "Once their guards noticed that I'm basically invincible after experimenting on me, they said they wanted to keep me here forever so I'll keep fighting for as long as the universe lives."

An intercom crackled to life as if the Slytherophidians heard Lars' explanation. "For our next fight, we shall be pitting the one and only Lars of the Stars against the flying dreamer Lady Imagineer!" the voice of Queen Constricta announced. "Now, Lars, be sure you're as ready as you'll ever be because Ms. Imagineer is a very tough opponent."

"Well, speak of the devil." Lars muttered in surprise as the guards moved him to the arena. "Wish me luck, guys! I'm going to need it!"

"Good luck, Lars!" Steven hollered as Lars got further away from him and the Fryman brothers.

--

"Nosiop, are you there?" Naja called for her older brother while slinking through the castle halls. "Where are you? Father is getting worried and wants to see you." Unfortunately, her big brother did not answer. "Come on, Nosey, where are you?"

"Looking for someone, my dear?" Aquamarine asked as she fluttered down and landed on the floor next to Naja. "I once felt lost, too, but then I realized I had someone right by my side this whole time."

"You're one of those Rutile Rebels, aren't you?" Naja asked Aquamarine. "What do you want with me?"

"Oh, how very astute, your grace," Aquamarine replied with a mocking curtsy. "Now then, you were looking for someone, right?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Nosiop," Naja stated. "Have you seen him?"

"I am right here, dearest Naja." Nosiop hissed as he, Pyth, and Black Rutile emerged from the shadows. "Oh, I am so sorry that my sweet baby sister was so scared her big brother wasn't there to keep her safe. Then again, you were always pretty scared but always tried hiding it by acting like the showman you want to be."

"He does raise a good point there, princess." Black Rutile snidely added before cupping Naja's face in her hand. "You ever feel like your old man and the queen have been holding you back from reaching your full potential, Naja?"

"Nosiop, what are you doing fraternizing with Black Rutile?!" Naja asked hurriedly. "You know she's an intergalactic criminal imprisoned for multiple counts of attempted genocide! Stay away from her!"

"Oh please, you threaten to destroy one planet multiple times, and everyone treats you like the bad guy." Black Rutile rolled her eyes in disgust. "Anyways, your brother isn't fraternizing with me. I'M fraternizing with HIM. As it turns out, the two of us have something in common, and we became close quite instantly."

"Perhaps you'd like to join us on our little crusade." Nosiop offered while taking his sister's hand. "Together, the two of us can rule the universe side by side as brother and sister with an unstoppable Gem army at our command, and no one will have to judge you for what you really are!"

"What are you saying?" Naja asked, growing more concerned for her big brother's mental status by the second.

"I'm saying that Mother and Father are holding us back!" Nosiop yelled in his sister's face, momentarily flicking his forked tongue at her. "I have legitimately good ideas for our people, but no one ever takes me seriously! But Black Rutile, on the other hand, truly understands my suffering, for she has encountered the same problems as I!"

"Indeed, I was made an outcast because I disagreed with the current status quo of my race." Black Rutile added, trying to look as innocent as possible with a pout and big, pleading eyes toward Naja. "I was even betrayed by my friends who started thinking little of me, but I changed that quickly."

"I know where this is going, and I refuse to take part in it!" Naja exclaimed as she tried to escape the oncoming swarm of Rutile Rebels. "Father will hear about this!"

"Well, excuse me, Princess, but I think not." Black Rutile hissed angrily. "Rubies, seize her!"

"Yes, my Rutile!" the Rubies obediently chorused as they jumped up and tackled Naja to the ground. "Princess has been secured!"

"Excellent, little Rubies." Pyth purred eagerly. "Now, please show the dear princess to her room until further notice." He gave orders with a sadistic smile. "Wouldn't want her getting in the way by telling everybody."

"You won't get away with this!" Naja yelled angrily as the Rubies dragged her away. "Steven will find out!" As Nosiop watched the Rubies carry off his sister, he turned away in shame at having to betray his sister like this. But alas, their worldviews had no choice but to clash as he still had far grander designs in mind, and she didn't play a role in them. With a heavy sigh, the visionary prince looked to his new Gem ally and his royal vizier, who looked back at him with sinister smiles.

--

Meanwhile, in the Ouraborium, Lars had been pitted against the flying dreamer Lady Imagineer in combat, but despite his moderate skill in combat, the donut boy turned undead space hero was outmatched in every way possible.

"Stay still, for Pete's sake!" Lars groaned as he tried catching up with Lady Imagineer's airborne acrobatics. "Just because I'm human doesn't mean I can't beat you!"

"But that's what makes your race so fun, Lars!" Imagineer laughed sweetly. "You have so much potential; you just need to learn not to waste it!"

"Yeah, that's my sister up there!" the reality-warping trickster Flipso cheered for Lady Imagineer while conjuring up a smartphone to record the fight with. "You're doing amazing, sweetie!" Suddenly, Solaris Noctua turned his gaze to find Flipso in the audience below where he and the other Universal Lords were seated. Flipso immediately hid himself by disguising himself as a Slytherophidian. "Gotta keep up appearances."

"Quit flying around so much!" Lars yelled as he tried using his portal powers to scream his way to Lady Imagineer, but she was far too quick on her feet for him to keep up.

"Gonna have to catch me first!" Imagineer giggled before conjuring up an illusion of Sadie that made Lars blush, distracting him long enough for the space pirate to realize he was now falling to the ground. "I can also conjure up illusions based on what I find in your mind."

"YOU SUUUUUUUUCK!" Lars screamed before he landed on the ground with a loud thud, prompting the audience to chant.

"FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM!" the Slytherophidians cheered as Lady Imagineer floated down to where Lars landed and helped him up.

"Ugh, my back." Lars groaned in pain as he shuffled away. "This is probably the second most humiliating moment in my life, right after Steven possessing my body."

"Oh, come on, Lars, at least you had fun, right?" Lady Imagineer asked with a cute smile.

"Yeah, maybe it was a little fun." Lars laughed dryly before continuing his walk of shame.

--

"Oh, my back." Lars groaned in pain as he struggled back to the quarters the Jormagundr royal family gifted him upon his arrival on Serpentes and slumped on the closest velveteen couch to sleep his troubles away. "Oh, sweet Velveteen Rabbit. Take me away on your Edwardian adventures."

"Anything the matter, Lars?" Emerald asked while walking in and stroking Lars's aching back.

"Just lost to Lady Imagineer," Lars said while turning his head to face Emerald. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to comfort an 'old friend' of mine in these trying times," Emerald replied. "Seeing you so humiliated like that, while it was cathartic to see you feel how you always made me feel back in the day, it just pained me to see a worthy opponent go down like that."

"What are you saying?" Lars asked, not expecting a good answer at all.

"I'm saying is that Steven has ruined your life for long enough!" Emerald exclaimed. "First, he repeatedly robs you of your dignity, then he takes you away from your home planet where you were forced to die for him, and now you're fighting for your life on another alien planet! And you're expected to become his friend after all that?!"

"You're wrong!" Lars yelled as he bolted up, briefly yelping in pain. "Yeah, Steven and I got off on the wrong foot, but he still willingly gave up everything for the wellbeing of others, even me, and I returned the favor! Now, I'm living the dream as a badass space hero like in the old TV shows with a bizarro found family of Off-Colors!"

"That's what I hated about you, Lars, outside of the fact you stole my favorite ship and got away with it," Emerald stated while pulling out her spiked club from her gem, now pulsating with electricity as she pointed it at Lars. "You're way too human!" She swung her club at Lars, who deflected it with a kick.

"No, I'm just human enough!" Lars smirked before punching Emerald's face and knocking her down. "What's with the change in attitude? Last time I saw you, you were willing to face punishment for your crimes."

"Things have changed. Though I wanted to atone, eventually, I grew tired of Black Rutile's wailing and believed my failures were because of her." Emerald revealed. "Ditto for Demantoid, Pyrope, and Morganite as well."

"Guess old habits die hard, I suppose," Lars muttered before Emerald tried taking him by surprise with another swing of her club, but Lars dodged in the nick of time and sent her flying towards the wall with a combo of fists and feet. As Emerald lay injured against the wall, Demantoid, Pyrope, and Morganite raced to see what was happening.

"Emerald, what happened here?!" Morganite asked while helping the renowned pilot to her feet.

"Seems like I got a little shortsighted again." Emerald laughed weakly. "At least I tried to get one over on him."

"This won't be the last you'll see of us, Lars of the Stars," Demantoid said to Lars. "When next we meet, you will face the full might of the Rutile Rebels."

"And I'll be onto you like a Langdon Cobb movie." Lars replied firmly.

"Do any of you have a clue as to what he said?" Pyrope asked while the three Gems carried Emerald away, to which Demantoid and Morganite responded with hushed confusion.

--

In the Crystal Gems' room in the arena, Steven was sitting worriedly on the couch with Peedee as Ronaldo paced around the sofa, thinking about Lars's loss and how it would affect them. "Well, there goes Lars." Ronaldo declared bluntly. "Either of you got any bright ideas?"

"I'm not sure what to do now," Peedee replied. "I mean, what chance do we have now that the Diamonds have been poofed and Lars is out of commission? In fact, where are the Crystal Gems?"

"Off being forced to fight more innocent aliens," Steven added. "Speaking of which, I wonder how Black Rutile is doing."

"Attention all combatants, our next fight is a very special one!" Constricta's voice announced through the arena's PA system. "For quite possibly the biggest show yet in the Contest of Champions, we give you Steven Universe versus Black Rutile!"

"What?!" the three boys yelled while Black Rutile stormed into the room with an evil laugh.

"I see you just heard my big surprise for you, Steven!" Black Rutile announced joyfully. "As arranged by my dear friend Prince Nosiop, we shall have our long-awaited rematch, and I'll finally get the chance to destroy you once and for all!"

"No one destroys a boy like you, my Rutile," Aquamarine said while perched on Black Rutile's shoulder. "See you soon, Steven." The two Gems laughed as Black Rutile turned around and left, leaving Steven horrified at what he had just heard.

"This is not good; this is not good at all," Steven muttered nervously. "Everyone here already hates me because I don't want to kill people, so they'll no doubt be rooting for Black Rutile to destroy me! What do I do?!"

"Hey, don't fret, Steven, just believe in yourself," Ronaldo suggested. "Believe in the Ronaldo who believes in you."

"He's right," Peedee added. "Some people can't believe in themselves until someone believes in them first. Remember that no matter what, everyone back at Beach City has your back."

"Thanks, guys," Steven said with his eyes closed. "But I guess I have no other choice." He opened his eyes, revealing that one of them now had a diamond-shaped pupil.

--

And so, we finally reach the halfway point of Snake Eyes with the long-awaited rematch between Steven and Black Rutile, allowing them to finally settle the score after their numerous fights in Alternate Future. And this time, Black Rutile won't just decide to give up on Steven and let him wallow in shame, she's going in for the kill and has a lot of issues left over she'll use their upcoming fight for. How will things turn out? Find out next week.

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 18: De-Clustering (originally published on April 24, 2023)

AN: Yeah, this is going to be a pretty heavy episode because we'll finally be bringing back the Cluster by taking it apart and reintroducing some of its components back to society, just as Yellow Diamond promised back in Homeworld Bound. No doubt we'll explore how these Gems will react to the world they'll be brought back into and how they'll react to the whole Pink Diamond debacle, which Black Rutile will no doubt take advantage of to gain new minions. And how will the Crystal Gems deal with this as well, especially when one of their own who was a part of the Cluster will be convinced to join Black Rutile? Not good, I suppose.

Synopsis: The Diamonds pay a visit to Earth to disassemble the Cluster. However, some of the Gems they restore don't take too kindly to the new status quo.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Navy, Doc, Leggy, Army

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno Hall as Pearl, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond

Sarah Stiles as Spinel

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Kari Wahlgen as Pyrope

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Shanelle Grey as Sally Grove

Matthew Rhys as James Brenner

Jon Wurster as Marty

Christoph Waltz as Francis von Bowling

Olga Kurylenko as Rasputina

Diedrich Bader as Lennie

Wayne Knight as Milton

Andrey Batt as Konstantin

Edward Furlong as Pavel

Seth Green as Leo

Featuring Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Gina Torres as Andesine

And John Mulaney as Flipso

--

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the Rutile Rebels laughed uproariously as they sat down to watch an early version of "The Pink Beast of the Bay" sent to them by Marty, and they were in hysterics over the mockery over how Steven's monstrous mental breakdown was depicted.

"I don't see why Pearl refused to participate in this motion picture; this is amazing!" Black Rutile guffawed in delight as she watched the Crystal Gem be an unwilling leading lady and costar to the always overdramatic Christopher Cage. "I haven't had this much fun in ages, not just because of the Steven mockery!"

"Me too!" Aquamarine snickered. "I could watch this over and over again!"

"But didn't that Marty fellow say he needed to return this copy soon?" Holly Blue said as the movie reached the end and the credits began to roll. "Or maybe we could download our own copy of the film." Just then, the Rebels heard a very loud rumbling from outside. "What was that?"

"Oh no, is Teal Zircon getting up to shenanigans again?" Cat's Eye complained while stroking Blake in her arms. "I'm still getting all those bugs out of my hair from last time."

"Uh, guys, I think you need to see this." Eyeball said, looking out the window to find the Diamonds' ship landing near Little Homeworld. "Do you think they're finally coming for us?"

"If so, then finally." Cat's Eye proclaimed. "This is the big one; this is it! Do you hear me, Homeworld, I'm coming for you!"

"Oh, don't be so overdramatic, Cat." Holly Blue rolled her eyes in annoyance. "We should go outside and see what the Diamonds want. Who knows? Maybe they've come to apologize for their unfair treatment of us."

"I highly doubt it." Black Rutile stated as the Rutile Rebels walked outside to find the Crystal Gems talking with Yellow, Blue, and White Diamond. "You there, Gems! What's going on?"

"Oh, Black Rutile, long time no see." White Diamond greeted Black Rutile with a strained smile. "We were just discussing with the Crystal Gems about taking the Cluster apart and giving all the Gems that are a part of it a new lease on life. We feel like it's one of the only things left for us to do to fully atone for our crimes."

"Well, there are still a few crimes against me you refuse to apologize for." Black Rutile muttered.

"Would you like to assist us?" Pearl asked Black Rutile. "We'd like to make this a community effort, so that means you have to join in too."

"Of course I'll help. Just let me confer with my posse for a bit." Black Rutile answered before turning to her minions. "You all see what's happening here, right? We could collect whatever Gems are taken out and convince them to join us! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!"

"Great idea. We just need to lay low until the time is right; then we can convince them." Aquamarine agreed. "I'd say we should start with three. Anyone else?"

"Yeah, three sounds like a reasonable number." Holly Blue said.

"That song said it's the magic number, after all." Eyeball added before the rebellion turned back to the Diamonds.

"We accept your offer." Black Rutile declared, hiding the fact that she was once again plotting behind everyone's back.

"Excellent." Garnet smiled. "We'll get to work as soon as everyone else hears about this."

--

Later that day, all of Little Homeworld was working together to take the Cluster apart and put the shattered Gems back together, while ensuring they wouldn't accidentally cause the Gem superweapon to be unleashed and destroy Earth. Carefully, they would remove massive chunks of the Cluster, sort which pieces of Gems went together, and allow Yellow to restore them to normalcy. So far, the process was going rather swimmingly, with numerous Gems being put back together.

"Here, I think I found a Gem." Amethyst said as she handed the broken halves of a gem to Yellow. "Recognize her?"

"Oh, I do!" Blue Diamond replied. "That's Amazonite. She was an illusionist in my court. Her shows were the stuff of legends, and I hope she'd be able to do them again!"

"Yes, I am a fan too, Blue." Yellow grinned before she held the gem pieces together, and electricity coursed through the fractures, making the gem like new before it reformed into a Gem with light blue skin, long & unkempt dark blue hair, green robes, and a blue cape with light blue detailing.

"Where am I?! What is this place?! Where's my Diamond?!" the newly restored Amazonite began panicking upon her restoration as she looked around at her new surroundings. The last thing she saw before being shattered was Gems going to war with each other, and now suddenly they're at peace? The Crystal Gems were standing alongside the Diamonds with presumably no animosity? What was going on here?!

"Welcome to the world, Amazonite." Lapis greeted the illusionist, who leaped back in alarm.

"Uh, do I know you?" Amazonite asked Lapis. "There are just so many Lapis Lazulis; I find it hard to keep track of them. Now can someone please explain to me what's going on here?!"

"I believe I can be of assistance here." Black Rutile proclaimed as she arrived with a broken purple Gem in a bubble. "I just found this Gem. You can handle the rest while I bring her up to speed."

"Oh, is that Tanzanite in there?!" Pearl exclaimed as she took the bubble from Black Rutile and admired it. "It's been centuries since we last saw her! Her sacrifice still weighs heavily on me!"

"And you're only talking about her now." Black Rutile murmured disdainfully. "Okay then." She then took Amazonite by the hand and took her away from the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds to get her caught up on the new status quo of Gem society. "First of all, Amazonite, hello, my name's Black Rutile. Pleased to meet you."

"Ah yes, Black Rutile. I think I've heard of you a few times before." Amazonite replied. "Which reminds me, I remember you having a green visor and white cape. Why the change in attire?"

Black Rutile then sighed heavily before she continued. "These represent the chains placed on me by our corrupt society, after I was wrongfully accused of treason when I tried to fix what Pink Diamond broke beyond repair."

"Wait, Pink Diamond?" Amazonite asked. "Wasn't she shattered by Rose Quartz?"

"Well, not entirely." Black Rutile stated awkwardly.

"Come on." Amazonite ordered with her hands on her hips.

"Okay, the Rebellion was started for a few stupid reasons." Black Rutile continued candidly.

"Just tell me one." Amazonite responded, a single eyebrow raised.

"You see, Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond." Black Rutile murmured again.

"She was what?" Amazonite gasped, desperate to know more.

"Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond." Black Rutile reiterated a lot clearer for Amazonite to hear.

"Did you say Rose and Pink Diamond were the same this whole time?!" Amazonite yelled in horror and anger.

"Yes, exactly, excellent listening." Black Rutile nodded.

"Our grand opponent was that forsaken child?!" Amazonite added loudly.

"Yes, and wouldn't you know it? She died and gave birth to the same stain on the universe that forgave the Diamonds for all the horrible things they've done to the galaxy!" Black Rutile proclaimed. "Luckily, a few Gems, including myself, are smart enough to see through Steven Universe's lies and form a resistance against his tyranny. However, we have encountered many serious setbacks and are currently recouping our losses after an attempted alliance with an evil alternate-universe version of him."

"So, allow me to recap here." Amazonite theatrically said. "You, Black Rutile, are fighting back against the current status quo because this Steven person brainwashed the Diamonds into becoming his slaves by forgiving them for their actions, thus allowing them to radically alter our society?"

"That is exactly right." Black Rutile replied. "As I already said, a group of like-minded Gems and I are forming a revolution against Steven and the Crystal Gems, and we've acquired some success in increasing our forces through this Cluster project." She then stuck her hand out to Amazonite. "Would you be willing to join me in my crusade, Amazonite?"

"Are you kidding me?! Yes!" Amazonite eagerly agreed and shook Black Rutile's hand. "No one man should have all that power, the way I see it. Count me in!"

"Excellent! I'll have to introduce you to my subordinates later." Black Rutile smiled. "But right now, I must continue the recruitment process. I've already tricked the Crystal Gems into accepting my help in taking apart the Cluster and have plans for some of them."

--

Speaking of the Crystal Gems, they were restoring their fallen comrade Tanzanite to normalcy. Once Yellow Diamond gave the broken purple Gem a tap, it was made whole again, and suddenly, a purple-skinned Gem with lavender hair, a purple punk attire, her gem being on her bare stomach, and a purple Crystal Gem star on her crop top.

"P-Pearl, Garnet, Bismuth?" Tanzanite muttered as she slowly opened her eyes to see her old friends alive and well. "I can't believe it; you're all here! We won!"

"Should you tell her, or should I?" Bismuth asked Pearl rather nervously.

"Tell me about what?" Tanzanite asked curiously.

"I think she should tell us who she is!" Amethyst asked. "Like, I never heard of her once, and suddenly Pearl treats her like she's so important!"

"You feeling a little jealous, perhaps?" Peridot snickered at Amethyst's expense, making the smaller purple Gem blush.

"Oh, sorry, guess I should probably explain myself." Tanzanite said as she reminisced on her early days as a member of the Crystal Gems.

--

Before the Rebellion, Tanzanite was a low-ranking but earnest and peppy assassin who carried out her missions with cold precision and grace. However, despite how well she did at her job, Tanzanite felt like she didn't belong on Homeworld under the Diamonds' grasp. Sometimes, she would often secretly go out to planets soon to be colonized and tour the wildlife there.

Eventually, word got out that a rebellion was being formed by an insurgent Rose Quartz rumored to have shattered Pink Diamond, and Tanzanite joined out of morbid curiosity. However, in doing so, Tanzanite would finally find where she belonged as the rebels known as the Crystal Gems began treating her like family. Pearl especially saw her as a daughter and protégé. Unfortunately, those happy days would soon come to an end.

In one of many decisive battles for the Earth, Tanzanite was eager to stand on the frontlines alongside Pearl and the other leaders of the Crystal Gems to get a taste of what it was like. Unfortunately, that would turn out to be a huge mistake.

"Pearl, back me up here; I'm surrounded!" Tanzanite exclaimed as she fruitlessly tried to fend off a squad of Condor Agates and Onyxes with her epee. "Pearl? Pearl?!"

"Foolish little Tanzanite, your beloved Pearl cannot save you now!" the Onyx confidently stated. "Try and fight us while you still can, but you have no hope here!"

"I know, but it won't hurt for me to try!" Tanzanite bravely said as she charged at one of the Condor Agates and clashed her epee with her longsword.

"Impressive, most impressive." The Condor Agate complimented Tanzanite's tenacity. "I see that Pearl has trained you well."

"Yeah, she really did!" Tanzanite agreed before turning to find Pearl facing off with a Lepidolite not too far away. "Look, Pearl, look!" she yelled for her mentor, unaware of the tall orange figure looming behind her. "I'm fighting this Condor Agate all by myself!"

"Oh, that's amazing, dear, you're growing so much!" Pearl complimented her student before realizing that an Andesine was towering over her, flaming sword ready to strike her down. "Oh no! Tanzanite, behind you!"

"What?" Tanzanite asked as she turned around to discover one of Yellow Diamond's most fearsome sergeants ready to attack. "You can't scare me!" she yelled, pointing her epee at Andesine. "I got the power of Pearl by my side!"

"Is that so?" Andesine grinned evilly while raising her sword. "Let's see that power protect you while it still can."

"Tanzy, no!" Pearl screamed as she charged through legions of Crystal Gem and Homeworld armies in a bid to rescue Tanzanite from harm as she dueled Andesine. "Please, Tanzanite, don't do it!"

"I just need to-" Tanzanite began. Before she could say what was on her mind, she felt something pierce through her back and looked down to discover Andesine's sword going right through her chest and jabbing at her gem.

"Now look what you made me do." Andesine coldly declared while pulling her sword back, allowing Tanzanite one last moment to apologize for her recklessness.

"I'm, I'm so sorry," Tanzanite cried as she felt herself literally falling apart from the surprise attack. "for everything."

"TANZANITE!" Pearl screamed in horror as Tanzanite was shattered right before her eyes while Andesine let out a cruel laugh at the former servant's expense. "You won't get away with this!" she yelled at Andesine with tears in her eyes as Andesine collected Tanzanite's remains. "I will avenge her!"

"You will try." Andesine smiled wickedly before ordering the Condor Agates and Onyxes that once overwhelmed the late Tanzanite to seize Pearl.

--

In the present day, the now resurrected Tanzanite was given a tour of Little Homeworld by Pearl to give her a taste of what she'll expect as a student of Little Homeschool. Despite Tanzanite's excitement at her surroundings, the Crystal Gems were all left wondering how she should be eased into a particular piece of information.

"And here, you'll find the swimming pool we constructed a few months back." Pearl explained, pointing towards the pool. "If you'd like, they're always holding tryouts for new lifeguards, and we're thinking of starting a water volleyball team."

"Wow, this is so cool." Tanzanite gaped in awe of everything around her while Pearl smiled contently at her old pupil being finally back and loving life as always. However, the rest of the Crystal Gems weren't as delighted to see her since; eventually, they would have to tell her the truth.

"How do we tell her?" Amethyst drearily asked her friends.

"Uh, ask her what?" Jasper replied, not knowing what Amethyst was talking about.

"You know, about how Ose-Ray is Ink-Pay Iamond-Day?" White Topaz replied.

"What are you talking about?" Bismuth tilted her head at what White Topaz had just said.

"I think she's speaking in Pig Latin." Peridot realized. "About, uh, you know, She Who Must Not Be Named."

"Who are you talking about?" Tanzanite asked curiously, but Pearl quickly covered her ears.

"Oh, nothing, just talking about a book series!" Pearl laughed, trying her hardest to lie no matter how hard she tried. "Guys, stop talking about her so much. It's not time yet."

"Not time?" Jasper declared angrily. "She deserves to know what happened after she got shattered, especially what we know about Pink Diamond!"

"Wait, Pink Diamond?" Tanzanite asked, barely hearing what Jasper just said through Pearl's hands. "What do you know about Pink Diamond?"

"The fact that she and Rose Quartz were the same this whole time!" Jasper added, stunning Tanzanite and making the Gems very unhappy with her.

"Nice going, Jasper." Garnet growled at Jasper. "Uh, she didn't mean what she said."

"Did you disguise Rose as Pink Diamond to make the other Diamonds your slaves or something?" Tanzanite asked, feeling slightly betrayed at what she was now learning. "Or has everyone been lying to me this whole time?"

"Why yes, we did use Pink to get what we wanted from the Diamonds!" Amethyst declared. "In fact, our friend Steven is her son!"

"I think we need to explain everything here." Garnet declared as she stepped forward and put a gentle but firm hand on Tanzanite's shoulder. "Tanzanite, it's time you learn the truth."

--

"So let me get this straight." a stout but curvy Apatite said as she conversed with Amazonite later that day. "Not only was Rose Quartz really Pink Diamond in disguise, but she started an entire war that lasted for thousands of years that cost the lives of millions because she was tired of being mistreated?"

"I know, right?" Amazonite agreed. "It's utterly outrageous how we lost our lives and our remains were forced against our will to become part of an all-powerful geoweapon!"

"Frankly, I never cared to begin with." Apatite replied dryly. "I never cared for the Rebellion, and I never cared for whatever was done to the Diamonds to make them suddenly forget all the horrible things they did for our people."

"Well, good to see you're already taking sides in this conflict." Amazonite stated as she ominously turned away from the construction with her hands folded behind her back. "Which reminds me, would you care to come with me to a little meeting later? I've met a Black Rutile who will have all the answers to our problems."

"Eh, I got nothing better to do today." Apatite agreed to the illusionist's offer with a shrug. "Where are we going to, some kind of club?"

"No, it's not just a club." Amazonite proclaimed. "It's an ideal."

--

Meanwhile, Tanzanite had been reluctantly brought up to speed on everything that had happened ever since she was shattered in the Rebellion. About the Diamonds' accidental corruption of almost every Gem on Earth, Rose giving birth to Steven, the Crystal Gems' many adventures, all the way up to the Diamonds wanting to change their ways, the beginning of Era 3, and the exploits of Black Rutile.

Tanzanite was left increasingly shocked at what she was hearing throughout this entire explanation. The Diamonds willingly surrendering to the Crystal Gems without putting up much of a fight and making a positive change for themselves & others? This cannot be possible! But one part of her old friends' story affected her more than anything else. The fact that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, a leader of the enemy, this whole time, and they've been keeping this from her for centuries.

"So that's what she did?" Tanzanite growled angrily at the Crystal Gems, outraged at not knowing Pink was Rose. "She started a war that killed millions just because she was tired of being ignored, and all of you lied to everyone about it, so I was shattered for nothing?"

"Well, technically, Pearl lied to everyone the whole time." Amethyst pointed out, making Pearl scowl at her. "I mean, we all only learned about this when she finally fessed up!"

"And this was how the Diamonds are allowed to roam free with no consequences?!" Tanzanite added, even more furious than before. "Why was just shattering them out of the question?! How could you possibly forgive such cruel and tyrannical monsters for all their crimes?!"

"Hey now, we didn't really forgive them in the way you're thinking!" Bismuth tried to calm the purple assassin down. "It was either get their help in saving the corrupted Gems or leave them to suffer in agony for all eternity! And thanks to Steven, we had no choice but to do the former."

"Whoever this Steven is, he's just like his mother. Never thinking of the consequences." Tanzanite frowned and prepared to storm off. "Black Rutile was allowed to run amok all because she hated him so much, and the worst punishment you could give her was exiling her to Earth! You couldn't begin to imagine what that will do to you!"

"Tanzanite, wait!" Garnet cried out and grabbed Tanzanite's shoulder. "Please, if you'd let us explain!"

"You've already explained enough." Tanzanite snarled as she broke from Garnet's grasp and ran away, crying in disbelief. After a moment of silence, the Crystal Gems knew precisely who to blame for this.

"Jasper!" Lapis scolded Jasper for her outburst that caused Tanzanite's tantrum.

"I accept full responsibility for this incident." Jasper apologized and got down on one knee. "Whatever punishment you shall give me, I will obey anything you request me to do."

"No, Jasper, it's not your fault." Pearl assured the orange warrior. "We should've told her earlier instead of keeping her in suspense for no reason. You were just being a little too honest."

"So, how long before we can apologize to Tanzanite for lying to her?" White Topaz asked the Gems. "As a fellow soldier who believed that her leader lied to her, I can totally understand what she's going through right now."

--

As Tanzanite ran far away from Little Homeworld and deep into the woods, she continued sobbing and rethinking everything she stood for as a Crystal Gem. She remembered their creed as it raced through her troubled mind. "Fight for life on the planet Earth. Defend all human beings, even the ones you don't understand. Believe in love that is out of anyone's control. And give everything for it!" Yet now, Tanzanite had no idea what she should give everything for now that she's learned of how insidious the Rose Quartz she once looked up to really was.

"What's even the point anymore?" Tanzanite muttered as she sat down at a tree and buried her face in her knees. "My leader's literally no better than the other Diamonds, and my so-called friends encouraged her for centuries. Who am I without a leader? Without a purpose?"

"Oh, I understand exactly what you're going through." Black Rutile's voice sympathized with Tanzanite's plight as she looked up to discover the voice's owner sitting on a nearby branch. "Hello there, little Tanzanite. Name's Black Rutile. I suppose you heard of me before?"

"You're the one who hated the Crystal Gems and Era 3, aren't you?" Tanzanite murmured as she looked up at Black Rutile, who then got down from the branch to lend a comforting ear. "What do you want?"

"I've been watching you since your tantrum at the Crystal Gems." Black Rutile revealed. "In fact, I was the one who suggested they bring you back to life! So basically, you have me to thank for you being here, and you're welcome."

"Why should I trust you?" Tanzanite asked. "You may have helped me, but why are you here?"

"I followed you because like I said, I understand what you're going through." Black Rutile answered as she put on the charm to rope Tanzanite in with her every word. "I, too, had unwavering faith in my great leader, White Diamond in this case. But then she revealed that she allowed me to get this far in life because she found it funny that a Rutile like me thought she could make it as a high-ranking member of her court. I felt so betrayed when White turned her back on her idea of perfection in favor of becoming Steven's slave, and now she views my entire being as one sick joke! Can you imagine how heartbreaking it was for me?!"

"Yeah, I get that." Tanzanite wiped her tears away before the two stood up.

"And that is why together, we can bring our oppressors to justice!" Black Rutile exclaimed, taking Tanzanite's hands in hers. "Come with me; I have an entire army of Gems who feel as betrayed as we are! Perhaps there, you can find a new family."

"I-I guess I can come with you." Tanzanite replied nervously. Black Rutile just smiled with pride as she took the now-former Crystal Gem out of the forest with her. As they say, a sucker is born every minute, and emotionally distressed suckers made easy pickings for an opportunist like Black Rutile.

--

Later that day, a small congregation of Black Rutile's allies, both old and new, had gathered at the abandoned warehouse outside of Beach City. The Rutile Rebels stood together onstage, joined by Marty, Sally, and James Brenner. Below them were numerous Gems that Black Rutile had manipulated into joining her, like Topaz, Teal Zircon, Emerald, Morganite, Demantoid, and Pyrope. Also present were the supervillains Francis von Bowling and Rasputina, now restored to their human forms after being previously transformed into an owl and a frog, along with Lennie, Milton, Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo.

"She should be here by now." Marty impatiently said to himself while looking at his watch. "I don't want this whole gathering to be for nothing!"

"As much as it would entertain me to see a straight white man like you feel shame, I have to agree." Sally replied.

"I feel like I don't really belong here." Dr. Brenner nervously proclaimed. "But since Black Rutile has been one of my most interesting cases yet, I still feel obligated to come along."

"Quite an eclectic bunch we have here." Amazonite observed the audience below them. "Black Rutile truly has a way with words if she could convince such dear friends of the Crystal Gems to join her."

"Wait, I thought this was like a book club or something." Teal Zircon said innocently. Lennie responded by knocking Teal to the ground, lying on her side with her feet twisted and arms splayed out behind her back.

Just then, Black Rutile had finally arrived with Tanzanite by her side, and she was eager to introduce her new recruit to the fold. "Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone. I was busy finding a new member to join our collective. Allow me to introduce the former Crystal Gem Tanzanite!"

"Whoa, a Crystal Gem?" Eyeball gasped in shock. "You really convinced one of the enemies to join you!"

"But what about Teal Zircon?" Navy asked, pointing to Teal still lying on the floor.

"What about Teal Zircon?" Eyeball sarcastically repeated. "Pleased to meet you, Tanzanite. It's good to see that a Crystal Gem has finally seen the light."

"Yeah, whatever." Tanzanite sullenly replied. "Just get this over with so I can go home."

"It would be my pleasure." Black Rutile responded before she cleared her throat and began to speak. "CAN YOU COUNT, SUCKERS?!" she yelled. "I SAY THE FUTURE IS OURS! IF YOU CAN COUNT!"

"Of course I can count!" Milton exclaimed proudly. "One, two, three-"

"I don't think that's what she meant, Milton." Lennie said to his larger partner.

"Now look what we have here before us." Black Rutile continued her speech. "Our little legion of doom may seem a little small, but nobody else knows that our numbers are far greater than they think. With the help of some dear friends of mine, this gathering is being live-streamed to my followers across all of social media! I consider that a miracle, and miracles is the way things ought to be."

"I don't know why I forgave Aquamarine if she wanted me to come here." Topaz nervously muttered to herself before she picked up the unconscious Teal Zircon and tried to make a break for it, only to be stopped by Doc and Leggy standing guard at the doors.

"If anyone tries to get out and warn the Crystal Gems, there will be consequences. I'm looking at you, Topaz." Black Rutile threatened the Topaz fusion, which caused Emerald, Morganite, and the Garnets to look nervously at each other. "Now, back on subject, I have been trying for almost a year to exact my revenge on the accursed Crystal Gems for attempting to assimilate me to their fascist ways."

She then pulled the torn page of Rasputina's spellbook from her gem. "When I lost Rasputina's grimoire to the Crystal Gems, I was able to steal this page at the last moment. This is everything I need to know about the being known as Flipso. This is an interdimensional imp of great power over chaos and destruction who was sealed away by an interstellar librarian for crimes against all conceivable reality. However, that didn't stop him from manipulating people throughout the ages so that one day, he could finally be free to turn the universe into his playground. Rasputina?"

"It will be my pleasure, master." Rasputina declared before she surrounded her hands in a dark aura surrounding the page as she began an ancient chant. "Ooh-eeh-ooh-ah-ah, ting tang, walla-walla bing bang!" At the last word, a shadowy figure emerged from the page, letting out a maniacal laugh before yawning loudly.

"Oy! Ten trillion years can give you such a crick in the neck!" the newly emerged Flipso yelled as he stretched like he woke up from a very long nap. "Oh man, I haven't slept this good since I convinced that mustached twit to drop out of art school and pursue politics!"

"Incredible!" Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo gasped in awe.

"Well, well, well, let's have a look at the menagerie here!" Flipso said as he got a good once over of all the Rutile Rebels before coming face to face with Black Rutile. "I suppose you must be the schmuck who released me, huh?"

"I am Black Rutile, yes." Black Rutile tersely introduced herself to Flipso. "Would you explain why your physical body doesn't seem to be how I expected it to be?"

"Oh yeah, that." Flipso realized his current status. "Unless you can find a way for me to return to normal, I'm stuck like this for a while. But that won't stop me from doing this!" With a snap of Flipso's fingers, Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo turned into a talking drinking cup, a large fry, and a wad of meat.

"YOU QUESTION THE WORD OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?!" Konstantin yelled angrily.

"So he can bend reality to his whims, just as she said." Francis von Bowling observed Flipso's powers as the imp continued showing off for the Rutile Rebels, changing Topaz into a pineapple with her face on it, switching everyone's genders, and unleashing beasts with forms inconceivable to any sane eyes.

"Which means we should keep quiet if we want to survive this." Emerald advised the Garnets and Morganite. "Got it?"

"I don't even want to know what he could turn us into." Morganite added drearily.

"I'm scared!" Demantoid and Pyrope yelled as they held onto each other.

"Okay, that's quite enough out of you, Flipso." Black Rutile commanded, stopping the imp's antics so he could listen. "The reason why I unleashed you is that you play a vital role in my grand revenge on the Crystal Gems. Should you obey my commands, I shall find a way to restore you to your true physical form so you can wreak as much havoc as you please. Do we have a deal?"

"Well, with an offer like that, how could I refuse?" Flipso agreed to Black Rutile's deal as the Rutile Rebels cheered. Some were elated that they finally had an advantage, while others were despairing over what they had done.

--

Meanwhile, the Crystal Gems gathered at the beach house to tell the Diamonds of their situation regarding Tanzanite. Needless to say, the former supreme rulers of Homeworld were not pleased with what they'd been informed of.

"Oh, this is just perfect. Pink screws us over from beyond the grave yet again." Yellow Diamond complained. "I swear, we should start listing how her death has negatively affected us. In fact, Pearl, put that down."

"Yes, Yellow." Yellow Pearl answered. Even though she was free to act of her own free will now, she still felt the need to serve her Diamond when asked.

"So where has Tanzanite gone now?" Blue Pearl quietly asked.

"We don't know yet, but whatever happens, I hope we can still help her." Garnet replied.

"Frankly, I think it should be about time we shut this whole Pink Diamond debacle down and let her rest in peace already." White Diamond suggested. "She made her bed and laid in it, so we should do the same."

"Well, maybe we could if someone didn't treat Pink so badly!" Bismuth declared accusingly.

"What did you just say, you infernal builder?" Yellow growled angrily at Bismuth.

"Whoa, now everyone, time out!" Spinel cried as she tried to calm the two hot-tempered Gems down.

"Though I don't like Bismuth's tone, she raises a good point." Blue Diamond stated. "Our poor treatment of Pink was but one of many things that convinced her to fake her demise and start the rebellion in the first place."

"That said, it's not like you're any better." Yellow coldly added, much to the Crystal Gems' horror.

"Say that again." Jasper grumbled, ready to attack her former Diamond at any moment.

"Jasper, calm down, dearie." White Topaz urged her partner not to lose her cool. "I'm sure Yellow didn't mean it."

"No, I totally mean what I say!" Yellow exclaimed. "I can count on just one finger how many times lately you've tended to his needs when he needed you the most! Heck, I won't even need a finger!"

"Yellow, please calm down, and let's come to an agreement, okay?" Volleyball suggested, even though she'd rather stay out of this argument altogether.

"Yeah, listen to old One-Eye here and chillax!" Spinel agreed with her Pearl friend.

"Please understand, Steven kept us all in the dark about his trauma because he feared getting us worried!" Pearl begged the Diamonds.

"Well, unfortunately, it could've been avoided if you had come to him first." Yellow proclaimed harshly. "Come along, ladies, we got better things to do."

"I apologize on Yellow's behalf. She's just had enough of this drama." Blue said to the Crystal Gems. "And honestly, I'd have to agree."

"Us too." Garnet agreed somberly as the Diamonds parted ways with the Crystal Gems on rather sour terms. While thankfully, nobody became enemies again, it still made the Crystal Gems wonder about how their actions have negatively affected others. Others like Black Rutile, who was now on the verge of rising to power again with an all-powerful cosmic deity by her side and a new band of Rutile Rebels to aid her in getting revenge on her greatest enemies.

--

Well, that was certainly bit of a downer. A former Crystal Gem joins the enemy, the team is now on uneasy terms with the Diamonds, and Black Rutile has released a being who could turn the entire world into a bowl of ice cream with a wiggle of his toe. How could the Crystal Gems handle such a threat, or how long will it take before he stabs Black Rutile in the back? Find out more as the series reaches its climax, but in the meantime, next time we're hitting the beach! Episode. Next chapter's a beach episode.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 9: Let the Endgames Begin (originally published on October 23, 2023)

AN: We only have about three to four chapters left before I can finally close the book on Alternate Future once and for all and finally move onto other stories that I've left to collect dust for months to years on end. When last we left off, Squamata has been unleashed from his tomb and now plans to devastate the entire universe around him and beyond. Is there any way that the Crystal Gems can stop possibly their toughest foe yet? You'll just have to read on and find out as Alternate Future reaches its climax.

Synopsis: The race against time begins as the god of snakes Squamata breaks free from his prison and Steven rallies the royals & fighters to save reality.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Mega Black Pearl

Grace Rolek as Connie

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Atticus Shaffer as Peedee

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond

Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constricta Jormagundr

Ray Porter as Squamata

Samantha Newark as The Lapidarist

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Tim Curry as Velhallen Beo

Crispin Freeman as Mr. Manco

Sam Witwer as Torius Vosania

Anna Akana as Dionna of the Sands

Christopher Lloyd as Batsputin Vosania

Peter Stormare as Reximillian

Elizabeth Maxwell as Vigrid

James Earl Jones as Wobbla the Butt

Barrett Wilbert Weed as Ezlipsia

Anthony Stewart Head as Solaris Noctua

John Mulany as Flipso

AJ Michalka as Stevonnie

Ted Leo as Steg

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Gina Torres as Andesine

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Awkwafina as Kyanite

--

As the Lapidarist meditated within her chambers, she suddenly heard a noise, followed by an evil, bellowing laugh. "I have turned hundreds upon thousands of worlds to dust in the name of darkness and devastation until I was robbed of my glory." Squamata roared from outside the castle. "I will stride across the bones of my enemies and bask in the glow of pure evil, for all of existence shall be mine to consume!"

"I knew this day would come." The Lapidarist said fearfully before she vanished from her sanctuary in a blinding flash of light. When she reappeared on Serpentes's surface, the already-panicking Slytherophidians were confused at the giant glowing humanoid's sudden appearance, making them wonder if she would team up with Squamata to destroy their world. "I can see you, Squamata!" the Lapidarist yelled for the snake creature to hear her. "I've been guarding this planet where you've been sealed for eons, and I will not let you destroy it or any other world!"

"Ah, Rebeugar, the last of the Lapidarists, we meet at last," Squamata replied with a dreadful sneer. "Who would've guessed we would be laid to rest on the same planet? No matter. I will finish what I started all those years ago and eliminate you, the sole survivor of my creators. First Serpentes, then the universe, and then the multiverse, and possibly beyond." Just as Squamata had made his threat, he suddenly received an electric shock to the face courtesy of Yellow Diamond. "WHAT?!"

"Die, monster!" Yellow called as she stood firmly against the God of Snakes with Blue and White Diamond beside her. "You do not belong in this world."

"It is not by my hand that I am free to smite the universe as I did in days long past." Squamata declared while presenting his heralds, Prince Nosiop, Pyth, Velhallen Beo, Mr. Manco, and Torius Vosania. "I was released from my confinements by mortals who wished to pay me tribute in exchange for assisting them with their own plans."

"That is correct, Squamata." Nosiop proclaimed. "Now, enough talk! Fight us, grand Diamonds, and die for your sins!" Squamata and his heralds charged at the Lapidarist and the Diamonds, with Squamata assuming a different form that transformed him into a shadowy mass of fog with eyes all over his body.

The god of snakes lunged at the Lapidarist with a hiss and bit her with his neck, trying to poison her with the venom in his fangs. However, he was stopped at the last moment when Stevonnie came to the Lapidarist's rescue by slashing off one of Squamata's fangs.

"What is this human doing here?!" Squamata roared as he looked down on Stevonnie and Mega Black Pearl standing up to his tremendous fury. "Wait, that is no mere human."

"A fusion of a human and a Gem? Inconceivable!" the Lapidarist agreed in alarm.

"Stay back, everyone; Mega Black Pearl and I got this covered!" Stevonnie declared before turning to the other fusion. "Ready, MBP?"

"Always ready for a fight!" Mega Black Pearl responded with a grin.

"How does everyone keep moving so fast?" Blue wondered as Squamata realized who he was up against.

"The scion of the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds, it seems," Squamata smirked while looking down at Stevonnie. "We meet face to face at last. Though, I did not expect you to come out to me as a fusion, and especially with a human." He then looked down at his heralds. "Velhallen, Torius, Manco, you know what to do. The rest of us shall take care of these Diamonds."

"It shall be done, my lord." Velhallen Beo declared as he clashed his sharpened claws with Stevonnie's sword while Torius and Manco sought revenge on the Black Pearl Brigade. "I have heard so many stories about you and the Crystal Gems, but never would I live to see the day I'd face one myself!"

"Who even are you?" Stevonnie asked before taking a big swing at Beo's chest. "I don't think I ever heard of you before, or most of the other heralds, for that matter."

"I am but a humble ex-Universal Lord who was robbed of my royal birthright by the confounded Batsputin Vosania!" Velhallen revealed his backstory to his fused opponent. "After being locked away by the Coalition of Galaxies for my numerous crimes, I discovered the awesome power of Squamata and figured that with him by my side, I could take back my rightful place as ruler of the Twilight Zone!"

"Not on our watch!" Mega Black Pearl declared before mightily swinging at Beo with her spear. High above the fusions' battle with the heralds, the Lapidarist used her phenomenal cosmic powers to keep Squamata at bay. At the same time, the Diamonds fought back against Nosiop and Pyth, now cosmically empowered by their exposure to the godlike snake.

"You will be returned quietly to where you belong, Squamata." Yellow declared. "We heard about how you crave nothing but death and destruction to every being with a pulse."

"Then again, you aren't so different, Gem creatures." Squamata retorted with a sneer. "You claim you're trying your best to change your ways, but I feel it isn't enough. Perhaps you could throw all that away and join me as my heralds."

"We will never join you!" Blue yelled while firing a blast of pure emotion to bring Squamata to his figurative knees. Still, Squamata felt absolutely nothing at all before tackling Blue to the ground and trying to bite her, only to get blasted away by White.

"Ah-say-into-pie, oppa-maybe-uppen-die!" Squamata then turned his attention to White and breathed fire in her face, causing her to fall over in shock. "You have no hope of defeating me in my current state! I will only grow stronger by the minute unless this ultimate fusion appears and stops me once and for all."

"Squamata is right; I cannot hold him forever!" the Lapidarist exclaimed. "We need to retreat now!"

"Yes, run while you still can, fools!" Nosiop exclaimed. "But you'll still be leaving us to run amok across this wretched world and the rest of the cosmos soon!"

"Wow, he really is kind of like me." The Steven part of Stevonnie muttered to themselves as they, Mega Black Pearl, the Lapidarist, and the Diamonds, made their escape, contemplating what Inner Steven had said to Steven earlier.

--

Steven and Connie were un-fused when they reached the castle, where the Crystal Gems awaited them. "So, couldn't beat Squamata, huh?" Amethyst asked. "Kind of figured something like that would happen."

"Is there any way we can stop Squamata now?" Pearl wondered. "If not even the Lapidarist and the Diamonds are enough to overpower him, then what chance do we have?" Suddenly, the heroes heard a familiar voice panting loudly as she raced towards the castle, and when they turned around, Black Rutile was standing at the front doors, acting like she had just run five dozen marathons on her way there.

"Yes, I'm not too late!" Black Rutile gasped as she finally reached the Jormagundrs' castle. "Help me, Crystal Gems, you're my only hope!"

"Enough talk, Black Rutile; we know it was you." Garnet coldly declared, completely ignoring Black Rutile's cries for help.

"No, please, you simply must hear me out!" Black Rutile yelled while raising her hands in complete sincerity. "Nosiop betrayed me and nearly sacrificed me to release Squamata! Please, you have to believe me!"

"Yeah, how about no?" Jasper growled angrily while snatching Black Rutile by the neck and glaring daggers at the Rutile. "We've had enough of your lies for too long now. Make one more, and you can bet we'll shatter you on the spot."

"Wait, guys, let's hear Black Rutile out." Steven tried to calm everyone down. "I know firsthand just how she really feels. Let me talk to her, and we'll all start working together ASAP." Connie then grabbed Steven by the shoulder. "Need anything, Connie?"

"Steven, I hate to break it to you, but I think it's time you gave up on her," Connie responded bluntly. "Black Rutile has lied and used us so many times for her own selfish gain, so it's obviously no secret all those insecurities she yelled about were probably another lie to play with your sympathy."

"Oh, for crying out-seriously?!" Black Rutile yelled furiously. "You pride yourself on accepting everyone, even the ones you don't understand, yet I'm the outlier here?! I am in legitimate distress here, and you're just turning away from me just like that?!"

"Maybe come to us when you feel some form of remorse for your actions, you murder drone!" Peridot barked before turning away with her nose pointed to the ceiling. "Bismuth, Lapis, to me, please."

"Yeah, not sure how we can forgive you after you tried making me one of your team." Lapis added with a disdainful shrug before following Peridot.

"Ugh, once a corrupt uppercrust, always a corrupt uppercrust." Bismuth scoffed while turning to walk alongside her two best friends.

"White Topaz, you can believe me, right?" Black Rutile said to her former bodyguard. "You've been at my side for years. Surely, you can tell them I'm right!"

"Okay, I'm just going to give it to you straight." White Topaz declared. "Look, BR, I know you seem like you want the Crystal Gems to forgive you for your sins, but we all think you're a lost cause. You obviously made up your mind. Why don't you just cut your losses and get outta here for your own safety?"

"You wretched parasites!" Black Rutile shrieked as all the Crystal Gems left her alone in the castle. "If I did this earlier, I'd make you pay for showing me no sympathy!" But alas, Black Rutile's archenemies chose to ignore her as they walked away, the only one continuing to acknowledge her being Steven, who simply turned to Black Rutile with a disappointed sigh as if he knew that Black Rutile was being honest, but their past experiences together wanted to prove him otherwise.

Once again, Black Rutile was left with only crushing loneliness to keep her company. Her former minions had abandoned her to join the Crystal Gems for the sake of survival; Nosiop almost had her killed, and now, when she desperately needed help the most, the only ones who could refuse to believe her like she was a human boy crying wolf. All the mournful Rutile could do now was drop to her knees, gaze at her hands, and mutter to herself, "I'm the lowest of the low."

--

Outside the castle, the Universal Lords, Solaris Noctua, and a very reluctant Flipso stood together as they examined Squamata's rampage on Serpentes. Cobralan sighed in dismay as he looked down at his tail while contemplating Greg's critique of his parenting, feeling that for a human, he had every right to point out how the king's ignorance would lead to his son releasing an ancient god of destruction in a bid to prove that the Slytherophidians were meant to be conquerors. Perhaps if Nosiop were to survive this ordeal, father and son would have a long, hard chat with each other.

"I still can't believe it." Solaris declared in awe of the god of snakes. "Squamata has returned. I know my powers haven't been what they used to be ever since I graduated from Universal Lord to cosmic librarian, but even I believe our combined strength might be enough to at least knock him down for a spell."

"You're kidding me, aren't you, Larry?!" Flipso yelled in outrage. "That's Squamata, the god of snakes, devourer of worlds, bringer of death, the chaos bringer, the master of darkness, and wrecker of all our collective shit! I think it's time that we get on out of here; I know a great empty void a few dimensions down we can hide in until this all blows over!"

"Oh no, you don't, Flippy!" Dionna of the Sands exclaimed while grabbing the cosmic jester by his tiny ankle. "You're fighting with us, whether you like it or not!"

"Enough arguing, you two, allow me to take this." Wobbla the Butt declared as he slithered out of his dais and took a deep breath before bellowing, "IMMA FIRIN' MY LASER!" and spewing out a brightly colored laser beam from his mouth that struck Squamata in the eye.

"WHO DARES?!" Squamata roared while turning to face the Universal Lords, who all stood together as one united army to face the destroyer. "The Universal Lords! Your powers are indeed beyond comprehension, but they shall not be enough to face me!"

"We can try." Ezlipsia replied before letting out a mighty hoot that caused darkness to fall on her, which she condensed into a massive array of familiars she ordered to assault Squamata's heralds. Meanwhile, Vigrid transformed into a new form resembling that of a harpy as she soared through the air and trapped Velhallen Beo in a headlock.

"Ah, Vigrid, it's been too long since we last saw each other, my love," Beo said lecherously to Vigrid, making the witch-like Universal Lord retch in disgust.

"I thought what we had was just a one-time fling!" Vigrid exclaimed. "I never knew you still had feelings for me!"

"So, it seems we are fated to face each other again, my brother," Torius said to Batsputin as the two prepared for battle. "Don't think this shall be like our last battle when you robbed me of my throne!"

"It seems we have no other choice, especially since you have aligned yourself with Squamata," Batsputin said before the brothers engaged in a rematch. Torius's improved cybernetics gave him an edge in battle.

"For our people, for our planets, let us fight on!" Dionna cried as she and her fellow Amazonian warriors formed an army to face off against the snake soldiers under Mr. Manco's control.

"To me, Flipso!" Solaris commanded before casting a spell to assist Vigrid in battle.

"Fine, but I'm only holding back to make things fair," Flipso said before snapping his fingers and making an army tank appear. "Besides, bringing in someone as powerful as me against that guy would be ridiculously unfair."

Reximillian let out a beastly roar as he began stomping all over snake guards and robot drones. "Ugh, this is such a waste of my time."

"Son, I know you're still in there." Cobralan tried to reach out to Nosiop during the clash between Squamata's heralds and the Universal Lords. "Please, my son, drop your weapon and allow me to be a better parent to you."

"Oh, so now you finally decide to be a father!" Nosiop yelled angrily. "Where was this apology when I needed it after all the times you ignored my ideas?!"

"Because they were going against our way of life!" Cobralan replied. "We do not conquer; we prefer peace with other species, barring the occasional accidental extinction, and I want it to stay that way. Perhaps if you walked a mile in my scales, maybe we can finally see things eye to eye."

"I swear, this is just Copper 9 all over again!" Nosiop complained. "I wanted to conquer that robot-infested wasteland because I thought they would make good servants for us, but you instead signed that Lerdwichagul Treaty to ensure we wouldn't turn them into slaves!"

"Now, son, no need to get all huffy just because you're not getting what you want." Constricta stepped in between her husband and son. "It's like some species say, you win some, you lose some. Do you want this to end up like the jockstrap incident? Hopefully, we can give Boa a break from digging all the holes this time."

"You must always make things so difficult, your Highnesses," Pyth said glowingly. "I've served your family for generations, hoping that Squamata would give our people the wake-up call they needed, and it turns out Nosiop wanted the same thing to the point where I'm more like a father to him now. Your son has always been like this. I just gave him the push he needed."

"If that must be the case," Cobralan said bravely while drawing his sword. "then I cannot let you corrupt my family any further." Pyth did the same as his former king and drew out a sword as well before the two began to clash.

--

"Man, the Universal Lords ain't no one's fool!" Amethyst said in amazement as the Lords went to war with Squamata. "Maybe we should go out there and help!"

"Not yet, Amethyst," Garnet replied firmly. "Once we can find an opening, then we can strike. Otherwise, we need to work on finding the ultimate fusion."

"Ooh, I know just the one!" White Topaz said eagerly before taking Jasper's hand and causing the two to fuse into Orange Moonstone.

"Calm down, guys, I'm not sure if that's the one," Pearl said to Orange Moonstone's disappointment as she un-fused back into Jasper and White Topaz. "Steven, why don't you go review fusing with your human friends to see if they can help?"

"Okay," Steven agreed. "but first, I think someone wants to talk to us." The Crystal Gems turned around to find the Rutile Rebels standing behind them, and they instinctively summoned their weapons to prepare for a fight.

"Hold on, everyone, no need to fight!" Aquamarine exclaimed as she stepped up in front of the Rebels. "We just have a little problem that needs solving."

"And what makes you think we'll believe you this time?" Connie growled while pointing her sword at the tiny blue Gem, who simply just held out her hand.

"Let's make a deal." Aquamarine declared. "We have reached a bit of a situation here."

"Situation is putting this lightly." Eyeball added. "Black Rutile has been working with Prince Nosiop to unleash Squamata, and if we don't work together, it will mean the end of the entire universe, including the both of us!"

"And we know this because Black Rutile straight up told us how she was plotting to use the Lapidarist to turn every Gem into her mindless slaves so that Nosiop can use them as an army!" Holly Blue stated. "Frankly, that was a terrible idea on her part."

"So we say this again." Cat's Eye concluded the Rebels' statement. "Let us make a deal. If you help us stop Squamata and Black Rutile, we'll return peacefully to Little Homeworld and coexist with you all in harmony." Cat put on big puppy dog eyes to emphasize that she was serious while holding her hat in her hands. "Pwetty pwease?!"

"You just had to whip out the puppy dog eyes." Bismuth sighed in annoyance. "You sure you won't just end up stabbing us in the back before flying off to plot your revenge, twirling your mustaches and saying "MWA-HA-HA" along the way?"

"No, we're being perfectly honest here!" Cinnabar exclaimed defensively. "Black Rutile almost threw us out before we decided to quit, and now we feel that if we have to survive and live another day, we have no choice but to join you in saving the universe from destruction. Now, will you accept us or not?"

"Please say yes, we're desperate." Andesine urged the Gems through gritted teeth.

"Okay, but only if you promise not to go back on your word." Garnet obliged and reluctantly shook Aquamarine's hand.

"Thank you for being so reasonable." Aquamarine sighed in relief. "You are a credit to your team." Garnet had no idea how to respond to that statement. "I'm just being nice."

"We all need to be nice if we must live." Pyrope proclaimed. "Now, I know it will be tough having to live with your greatest enemies now, suddenly acting all chummy and all."

"While I would like to hear you bluster all day about how we can make a change," Demantoid interrupted her fellow Garnet. "we literally have tons of different things to do, like solving our little Squamata problem."

"Yes, we'll need to discuss that," Emerald added. "Anyone got any ideas?"

"I have one!" Kyanite exclaimed. "My idea is that we sit Squamata down, look him dead in the eye, and tell him "Don't eat our planet." Everyone just stared at Kyanite in dead silence. "Trust me, he'd have to be awfully evil if it didn't work, and I'm not gonna lie, I like the cut of his jib."

"Sometimes I wonder why you still keep her around, Cinnabar." Andesine groaned to Cinnabar in disgust.

"She may not be competent, but she gets me results." Cinnabar proclaimed in her bodyguard's defense, causing Dalmatian Jasper, Zoisite, Pyrite, and Bloodstone to nod in agreement.

--

"So, what do you all think?" Steg, the fusion of Steven and Greg, asked while showing off his powers for the other humans. "I know it's not much, but it's the symbol of one heck of a father-son duo!"

"How big is that hair?!" Lars gasped while pointing at Steg's big pompadour. "Do you think maybe someone's compensating for something?" he whispered to Peedee, who just frowned in annoyance. "Come on! I was just making a joke!"

"Okay, anyone else wanna fuse with Steven?" Steg offered. "How about you, Lars? I wonder what your powers would do."

"Hey, before we review any more fusions, can I talk with Steven for a bit?" Peedee asked. "Recent events, particularly news about his family, have gotten me thinking about things."

"Wait, you don't mean!" Ronaldo gasped at his little brother while Steg un-fused. "Oooohhhhh noooooo."

"What are you guys talking about?" Steven asked awkwardly before the Frymans took him away from Greg, Connie, and Lars.

"So, you know how it was mostly just us and our dad running the fry shop back on Earth?" Peedee stated. "Well, I'm sure there's one question that must've been on the back of your mind."

"Is this about your mother?" Steven asked. "Come to think of it, while I did notice she was gone, I never really bothered to ask. What happened to her?"

"Yeah, I think it's time we finally came out," Peedee replied morosely. "She wasn't into the frying business like we were. She was more of the detective kind, so you can guess where Ronaldo got his love for mysteries from."

"And also kind of like me, she gets really absorbed in her work to the point where she starts isolating herself from others," Ronaldo replied. "But unlike me, it became a serious problem, and she would argue with Dad whenever she worked long nights. And then, one day, she just kind of vanished. I'm not even sure where she is right now. She didn't even say goodbye!"

"Wow, I guess I have a bit more in common with you guys than I thought," Steven said in realization before he started laughing. "Let's just hope she didn't run off to start a rebellion or something!"

"Yeah, like your mom!" Ronaldo started laughing as well, and then Peedee as well. At first, Steven thought that he couldn't relate much to other human beings due to his half-Gem upbringing, but now, he realized that there were people much closer to him than he realized. And he couldn't be happier.

--

"I must restore my strength." The Lapidarist muttered to herself as she healed her injuries sustained from the fight against Squamata. Rebeugar needed that ultimate fusion as soon as possible and couldn't be kept waiting. However, she soon heard a set of footsteps approaching her. "Who is there?"

It was Black Rutile, who had come to see the Lapidarist just as she had planned. This could be it, her chance to finally get the revenge on the Crystal Gems she had craved for so long by forcibly rejuvenating all Gems and turning them into her unstoppable army, thus forcing Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl to learn how much they made her suffer by forcing them to become her servants instead of the other way around. But instead, she had one simple question to ask.

"Lapidarist, my name is Black Rutile." Black Rutile introduced herself to the foremother of all Gemkind. "And I've been dealing with a little crisis lately. For the past couple of months or so, I've been coping with my loss of identity. I've been so bent on revenge on the Crystal Gems for years now that I've practically built my entire life around it. Yet now, without an army, any allies, or even enemies to take me seriously, I'm not even sure if I still have a purpose in the universe. Please tell me, grand Lapidarist, is it possible for me to find a new purpose now that Steven has stripped me of my old one?"

The Lapidarist knelt idly as she processed Black Rutile's question, meditating in place while hovering just a few inches off the ground. Then, she finally spoke. "Your time will come soon, Black Rutile." The Lapidarist ominously declared. "Your true destiny simply won't be realized until you are at peace. But for now, I believe certain individuals need your help."

The Lapidarist then conjured up a holographic image of Steven leading not just the Crystal Gems, the royal family of Serpentes, the Universal Lords, and the various Contest of Champions fighters into battle against Squamata but also the now former Rutile Rebels. And alongside Steven's motley army, standing right alongside the boy, in fact, was Black Rutile.

--

Yeah, as you can probably guess, this is where Black Rutile's redemption arc finally begins! But she won't just need Steven to forgive her because he's got enough issues as is, what she needs is to forgive herself for forcing her to become the Gem she is today and keep moving forward to a brighter tomorrow. How can Black Rutile process this? Will everyone else accept this madman's change of heart? Will Black Rutile finally say Connie's last name properly? All this and more will be answered in the coming chapters, same Gem time, same Gem channel!

[nobodys-drawings]

“What I want back is what I was Before the bed, before the knife Before the brooch-pin and the salve Fixed me in this parenthesis; Horses fluent in the wind, A place, a time gone out of mind.” - “The Eye-Mote” by Sylvia Plath Please do not repost, use, or edit my art, thanks!