Some fanmade Deltarune superbosses from an Aggie.
Astrochew belongs to Hogridah on SoundCloud
Hycrisik belongs to @radiant-vulpine
Flowery belongs to @bepinasworld
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Just some rambles on The Stranger, and like, by no means am I saying I'm correct about my interpretation, I'm just exploring a different idea
*also, a personal note about death, grief, and parental abuse
Reading the Stranger rn and it's soooooo painfully idk obvious?? Or at least relatable that Meursault is autistic
Like, the book is from his pov but I honestly think his "lack" of emotion comes from his own nebulous understanding of them
He feels content while never saying it but acting it out, and he focuses on moments as if he's been struck by them but can't plainly state why
Tbh, idk, but being sentimental about it, Meursault (and how it's interpreted within him being an absurd character) kills for no reason.
Except there was, aside from the excuses of the knife or Meursault's mood. Its the sun. The sun that supposedly represents the meaninglessness of life and death as something inevitable but
Idk, I'd say to some extent, the sun is ambivalent to meaning, but that doesn't mean it doesn't help life grow or just as equally destroy it either
Rather, it's something that can't be moved by sentiment in this worldview and by extension, Meursault is blinded by the sun
Also just from a personal indulgence, I would say that Meursault's mother is the sun, and so is he too by some extent.
I've heard that people say the dog is his mother, but I also wonder if the dog is Meursault as well
"Why does Salamano treat his dog that way?"
And like, idk I think a lot of Meursault’s limited portrayal of emotion as he himself narrates it makes sense to me with the idea of it all connecting back to his mother
They are inseparable, the same, and they both meet their end
From the perspective of someone with not a great mother, this premise is relatable and maddening, it doesn't make sense, and like to be frank because I've been dancing around it because I feel like I'm projecting but,
With parental abuse and love, there is a sense of both chains and disattachment that honestly terrified me because it came from a place of 'this is how society expects you grieve' and I didn't, not in the way that's viewed as "acceptable" or "normal" either
Also, as someone who lost someone years ago, I didn't grieve by crying or being distraught for months because of it, I grieved by remembering and letting go
As a kid, I understood that my quiet was not what was expected, and kissing the cold forehead of someone I loved after they've died, I've resolved myself to never go to a funeral ever again
In some way, if Meursault’s mother was abusive, from the perspective of a child, these actions are absurd and don't make sense until kids try to either make a reason themselves or they are told
But also. Just coming from an autistic perspective, Meursault doing or not doing certain things at his mother’s funeral is categorized as him not caring for his mother (or at least enough) and like????? His actions have no relation really to his emotions
Idk, I just think I've read a lot of takes that Meursault is completely emotionless and that's like??? Idk, I don't agree at all
Also, I think Meursault's ambiguous relationships and nebulous emotions are the point tbh
(Which allows for literal interpretations like mine)
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So I just realized I may have completely misunderstood what they were saying when they were talking about Spock’s eyes
So you know how in aos they’re always going “he has such human eyes” “he has his mother’s eyes” etc?
Well, I thought what they were saying is that Vulcans have physically different eyes from Humans and we were just supposed to pretend that’s what the actors had (because like what are they gonna do? force all those poor child actors into contacts?), and that Spock looked almost physically identical to a Vulcan except for his startlingly Human eyes
So this whole time I’ve been making all Vulcans in my head look like they don’t have irises, that it’s just all black in that area the exact same shade as their pupil, because I figured that’s what would make Spock’s eyes look startling, right? If he’s the only person with colored irises?
It’s just starting to click for me that they just meant his eyes looked full of emotion instead of blank I’m so fucking stupid
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what is your approach to writing? i have an idea for a fanfiction i really want to write (not for mcyt) and ive got to the point where ive written a summary of what i want in each chapter but im not sure what my next step should be.
okay so there's two different answers, here: beginning, and continuing.
to begin a fic? assuming that, like it sounds it is for you, I start with an outline before any other text: just... beginning it.
it doesn't have to start with chapter one, scene one, if you're feeling anxious over that. for the longest time I used to write wholly out of order, before I finally learned how to write linearly and switched to that. what is important is that you're excited about starting.
go to the very first thing that you're excited/have a scene in mind for, and start there if beginnning at the very start is too intimidating. The important thing for me usually is to establish a bond with my writing - to get excited over what I have, and what is to come.
continuing to write is: i write every day. some days, it's only 100 words, and every word comes like a tooth pulled. usually, it's 300-400 words. on some great days, where I hit my stride, it's 5k or more.
that doesn't matter. that's my word average now, after about four years of regularly writing and thinking about stories.
the important thing isn't how many words you get down - it's that you write at all.
I can't say I struggle with writing much. But what is helpful for me is to build a routine, and a community of a friend (or friends) who you can talk about writing with, if possible. And to not get discouraged- or rather, to get discouraged, and continue onwards anyways.
Some of my best received chapters and works are ones that I didn't feel good about writing. Some of my proudest ones are ones that didn't get the reception I felt they might have, for all my pride in them.
Creation, at the end of the day, is your end goal though. Whether you're fully proud of it or not- you're going to walk away having made something. Having told a story. and that's so fucking cool.
I don't know how much I can help you, honestly- starting works is like breathing usually, for me. But I hope you keep at it. That you start it, however imperfect it may or may not feel, and that you keep at it. Because you're going to walk away having built something really fucking cool.
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Loid didn't actually live at the Entrati estate until after Albrecht's void dive and even then it was more out of necessity: becoming Albrecht's caretaker was a full-time job and nobody complained or protested so Loid made himself "at home".
Other than that, Loid would very rarely stay the night when visiting Albrecht. They would attend work matters, have dinner, have sex and then Loid would retreat back to his home. There was an always vacant guest room, but Loid never really felt like it was his, even if he purposefully left some of his personal belongings there.
Shortly before the void dive, Albrecht asked Loid to stay with him, to spend the night with him. Loid was already out the gates when Albrecht called out to him as he was descending down the stairs.
Loid returned to his Albrecht, perhaps a bit too eagerly. He had no idea that in only a few days Albrecht would end up in a nepenthe regenerator and Loid would be picking up the bits and pieces of the aftermath of the tragedy.
Sometimes he holds on to that memory, that Last Night. He remembers sleeping in Albrecht's arms, listening to his heartbeat. In his heart, Loid knew that there was no returning back.
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