#fnh posting again

[katkit-42]

Thinking more about fear and hunger and about what it means to be a god in this world. Clearly Sylvan and Grogoroth have powers, but they also seem to only use those powers to further their powers, if that makes sense? Like, Grogoroth destroys, because he has the power to destroy. What he chooses to do with his powers of destruction is to only cause destruction. It's like the chicken or the egg--is it that his powers are destructive because he's the god of destruction or is he the god of destruction because he has the powers of destruction.

But what about what Grogoroth chooses not to destroy? He can't destroy everything or there would be nothing for Sylvan to create from. He can't destroy all humans, he can't destroy all the plants, because she still needs something. And similarly, Sylvan can't grow forever; if all of her creations grow and multiply then there will be nothing for them. In this way, Grogoroth and Sylvan aren't only the gods of destruction and creation, they're also the gods who choose when not to destroy or create.

And thinking of the girl in the depths. She's the god of fear and hunger, representing the drive of humanity. She rules over fear and hunger, just like Gorgoroth and Sylvan rule of destruction and creation. Just like them, she can also choose when to not inflict her aspect upon humans. And just like them, she can grant those who sacrifice to her boons.

She leaves Le'garde to fumble his way through his half life as the yellow Kaiser. He is still driven by fear and hunger--hunger for glory, fear that he will once again fall short (and he does fail to reach godhood again. Loser). She leaves him behind to wallow in his misery as he again fails to become a fraction of what she is.

Cahara is in the depths. He never got to go home to his wife and child. But even though he was her father for a short time, he wasn't like Le'garde. His corpse is right there next to her, in the depths, after he fell in after her, after he told her to stay away from the edge. After he fought to stay by her side. Is that not a sacrifice? What more can a god ask for than for one to dedicate their own to the god they love?

A god can't let a sacrifice go without a reward. The child grew up without a father, but they also never felt hunger pains, nor experienced fitful sleep full of nightmares. Celeste never saw the man she loved again, but she somehow always got enough food to fill her and her child's stomach, and she never again felt fear of the dark streets at night. They don't know it, but Cahara's daughter is looking after her stepmother and sibling.

[watsonmj]

2022 YEAR IN REVIEW

tagged: @abc2411 | @seek--rest | @bluepinstripes <3

1. number of stories posted to ao3

27 +/- 2 bc i updated 2 fics that i started last year buuuuuut i reached over 100 works on ao3 !!!! :D

2. word count posted for this year

101,410 (technically More bc i wrote ofic but that is obviously. not posted anywhere)

3. fandoms i wrote for

marvel, dc, pjo, the atlas series, soc, trc/tdt, hp, goncharov

4. pairings

petermj, petergwen, percabeth, libbynico, kanej, bluesey, blue/adam, clois, gonchandrey, jily

5. stories with the most

kudos: accidental heroism (the batman) 3,357 bookmarks: the jones-watson-parkers (spider-man) 844 but since that was posted last year it’s technically accidental heroism again w 640 comment threads: yet again… the jones-watson-parkers with 133 but it is still accidental heroism with 47

6. work i'm most proud of (and why)

ummmm idk actually the work im most proud of is my ofic theo and i cannot Show that to u anyway it’s bc i have never rly fully revised smth like. overhauled it n all that bc i finally Understood theo’s character and it was such a RUSH to work on her fr and ive produced some of my Best Writing To Date!!! for fic tho uh??!??!?!? im pretty proud of most fic ive written this year bc i have tried rly hard ok 😭 usually i can pinpoint a single fic but i think ive written consistently well ???

7. work i'm least proud of (and why)

a home for two (spidey) mostly because i did Not vibe writing it i was literally pulling teeth trying to finish it but ppl seem to like it idk

8. share or describe a favorite review you received

9. a time when writing was really, really hard

uh not for fic but i was tearing my hair out writing theo partially because of the content and partially because it is quite literally Difficult to write what’s perfect in your head and i haven’t even written theo to my own standards ngl

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

the entirety of final goodbye because. Well. who knew i would be writing goncharov fic actually who knew goncharov would even exist fr but in terms of spidey ... phantom bc. like. well i did not expect to write that At All and i didn't expect it to be That Long (relatively in my taste)

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing

Here’s the thing about loss: sometimes you grow up and around a person, fitting and stretching and expanding to add them to the patchwork of yourself, and when they leave, there’s a scar between both bodies. One here, one gone. An open wound. It’s surprising how much time you can spend with someone and still come out the other end empty-handed. (slip of reality | spidey)

12. how did you grow as a writer this year

oh i have learned to appreciate writing first person bc of theo <3 and writing a little longer things bc i am a serial 1-2k oneshotter and i have Exceeded that a bit

13. how do you hope to grow next year

perhaps i will Finally finish a multichapter fic jesus christ

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc)

there needs to be an @fnh button or smth at this point

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year

none that i can point out at the top of my head ! well. except for theo 🧍🏻‍♀️ i gave her too many lysisms which is concerning considering everything wrong w her n her chronic patheticness

16: any new wisdom you can share with other writers

new wisdom??? god not rly but here is some OLD wisdom that i feel like other writers should always listen to… read MORE BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!

17: any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

working on the Novel™ n also attempting to finish all these wips i have left in the grave

18. tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read

LITERALLY ANY OF YOU. IF U SEE THIS UR TAGGED <3

[crarsports]

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