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madrone33 · 6 months

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Every time Aang goes into the the Avatar State in ATLA:

Damn this took a long time to research and write out. I made this mainly just because I wanted to have a comprehensive list of all the times Aang uses the Avatar State, and then use that to see how effective it actually is.

(And also 'cause I wanted to compare it to LoK so I could confirm my hypothesis that by giving Korra complete control over the Avatar State it severely lowered the stakes, and thus they had to drastically diminish the actual power and effectiveness of said Avatar State if they ever wanted to have any sort of tension and suspense ever again. Except this only succeeded in making the Avatar State weak and Korra lose all the time while using it; it's now less "God Mode" and more "slight power up." Kinda getting off topic, soz. If you want to see her chart for comparison I might post it lmao)

Anyway, this was pretty fun to put together, though I might've missed something - I'm just going off of memory and wiki lol. Keep in mind that this is a lot of the time my interpretations of events, since Aang doen't go around just telling the audience what his motivations and triggers are. But the show does a good job showing the main things, so I'm just reading between the lines a bit to get some more concrete numbers.

Uhhh it's really long. And kinda complicated, even for me re-reading this, so. Enjoy my statistics, I guess?

Legend:

SUCCESS = the Avatar State succeeded in resolving what triggered it.

FAILURE = the Avatar State failed to resolve what triggered it.

?[words] = uncertain on whether or not the outcome was a success due to emotional triggers and the real problem being unfixable/out of reach.

[words]. = involuntarily entered.

[words]! = voluntarily entered.

-[words] = entered because of immediate physical danger.

_[words] = entered because of an overwhelming emotional trigger.

'[words] = entered for a reason other than immediate physical danger or immediate emotional trigger.

Timeline:

0 AG:

1. -SUCCESS.

Trigger: Aang and Appa are drowning in the ocean during a storm.

Actions: airbends an air pocket around them that eventually freezes over into an iceberg.

Exits when: they’re freed by Katara 100 years later, and it becomes clear the danger is past.

Winter, 100 AG:

2. -SUCCESS.

Trigger: he’s drowning in the ocean after being attacked by Zuko.

Actions: waterbends a waterspout in the form of a twister and sweeps Zuko and his crew off the deck.

Exits when: Zuko and his crew aren’t in a position to attack, so the danger is past.

3. ?_.

Trigger: overwhelmed by grief and anger from abruptly seeing the skeleton of Monk Gyatso, and being confronted by the realisation that his entire people were murdered while he wasn’t there.

Actions: generates hurricane-force winds.

Exits when: Katara and Sokka help the emotional pain become manageable again.

(Notes: not gonna call it a success, because the Avatar State couldn’t fix anything. It couldn’t bring Gyatso back.)

4. '-SUCCESS!

Trigger: Zhao and his men are waiting in the Fire Temple to hurt Aang and his friends once the Winter Solstice ends.

Actions: channels Roku directly into his body, who frees Katara, Sokka, Shyu, and Zuko, and then erupts the volcano underneath the temple.

Exits when: the Solstice ends, the danger also being passed.

5. ?_. (almost enters)

Trigger: nearly being overwhelmed by anger and betrayal while telling Katara that the monks wanted to separate him and Gyatso.

Actions: starts forming a gale.

Exits when: Katara helps ground him and bring him away from the emotionally painful precipice.

(Notes: the past is the past, and the monks are long gone. The Avatar State can't fix this.)

6. -SUCCESS.

Trigger: they’re all drowning in the ocean during a storm. Again.

Actions: forms an air sphere around everyone and flies Appa out of the ocean and into the storm's eye.

Exits when: the danger is past.

7. 'SUCCESS!

Trigger: people are dying and he needs to ask the Moon and Ocean spirits for help. He watches the koi fish in the Spirit Oasis while meditating to try and cross over into the Spirit World.

Actions: talks to spirits in the Spirit World.

Exits when: Aang has the information he needs, Hei Bai helps him return to the physical realm, and his soul returns to his body.

8. ?_SUCCESS.

Trigger: overwhelming anger and grief after the Moon Spirit, Tui, is murdered and the culprit, Zhao, got away.

Actions: merges with the Ocean Spirit, La, and lays waste to the Fire Nation fleet besieging the city.

Exits when: La releases him after the Moon is returned and the emotional pain becomes manageable again, the Fire Nation fleet no longer being a threat.

(Notes: technically a physical success since they beat back the Fire Nation, but it’s complicated, because the main problem was that Tui was dead, and La couldn’t actually do anything about that. It was Yue who fixed it, not Aang or La.)

Spring, 100 AG:

9. ?_SUCCESS.

Trigger: overwhelmed by grief and rage after General Fong “kills” Katara to force Aang into the Avatar State.

Actions: uses airbending to blast the general away, rises into the air on a tornado, and crashes down to the earth, releasing a powerful earthbending attack on the general, his guards, and his fortress. A small air sphere surrounds him while Roku talks to him in the Spirit World.

Exits when: Katara is safe, the General is no longer a threat, and Roku has finished talking to him.

(Notes: complicated success. The general stopped being a threat, but the problem was that Katara had seemed dead, and Aang hadn’t been able to do anything about that. Not to mention, he fell for the general’s trick, so it doesn’t really feel like a victory.)

10. ?_SUCCESS.

Trigger: overwhelmed by pain and fury at the sandbenders who kidnapped and hurt and sold Appa, and needing answers.

Actions: a large air sphere surrounds him, lifting him up into the air and creating a sandstorm.

Exits when: Katara helps the emotional pain become manageable again. The sandbenders are not a problem.

(Notes: kinda a success? He manages to intimidate the sandbenders into fessing up, but it feels wrong to use the Avatar State this way, and anyway, it doesn’t bring Appa back, and Aang still isn’t any closer to finding him again.)

11. -FAILURE!

Trigger: impending death or capture for himself and Katara while battling Azula, Zuko, and the Dai Li under Ba Sing Se. He decides to let go of his attachments and enter the Avatar State.

Actions: emmits a concussive blast and floats up in a pillar of light, fully in control of the Avatar State.

Exits when: Azula mortally strikes him with lightning.

12. 'SUCCESS. (enters briefly)

Trigger: he's revived by Katara healing him with water from the Spirit Oasis.

Actions: two second glow. He lives, but the Avatar State is locked.

Summer, 100 AG:

13. -SUCCESS.

Trigger: while almost being killed by Ozai, his back hits a rock in the exact spot where Azula struck him with lightning, re-opening his chakra and triggering the Avatar State.

Actions: collects all four elements and compresses them in a sphere around him. Moves at incredible speed, ploughing straight through obstacles whereas Ozai has to dodge said obstacles. The sphere can be used both for offence and defence. Since the sphere contains all four elements, it allows Aang to earthbend and waterbend while away from a natural source.

Exits when: he purposefully stops himself, refusing to kill Ozai.

(Notes: I'm calling it a success because the Avatar State works; it saves his life, and beats Ozai.)

14. 'SUCCESS!

Trigger: Wulong Forest is burning.

Actions: purposefully enters and then exits again, with only a momentary glow of realised control. He pulls in the ocean until all the fire is extinguished, before lowering the tide back again.

Statistics:

4/14 - (28.571%) - enters involuntarily from physical danger.

1/14 - (7.143%) - enters voluntarily from physical danger.

5/14 - (35.714%) - enters involuntarily from emotional pain.

1/14 - (7.143%) - enters involuntarily for a half second glow as he's brought back to life.

1/14 - (7.143%) - enters voluntarily to channel a past life in response to a threat of physical danger.

1/14 - (7.143%) - enters voluntarily to cross into the Spirit World.

1/14 - (7.143%) - enters voluntarily to enhance bending in order to complete a task.

8/14 - (57.143%) - success.

1/14 - (7.143%) - failure.

5/14 - (35.714%) - emotional unknowns.

4/14 - (28.571%) - physical danger success.

1/14 - (7.143%) - physical danger failure.

3/14 - (21.429%) - technically succeeded in fixing the physical danger, but it's an uncertain outcome because of emotional triggers and the real problem being unfixable.

2/14 - (14.286%) - complete emotional uncertainties.

4/14 - (28.571%) - other success.

Conclusion:

Aang has an above average success rate while in the Avatar State.

Almost a third of the time is miscellaneous successes, another almost-third for physical danger only, and a fifth for technical physical successes with complications.

Emotional triggers happen the same amount of times as physical, though they're never resolved cleanly.

Involuntary use happens far more often than voluntarily.

He only outright fails once.

#atla #analysis #essay #my posts #aang #avatar state #statistics #long post #nerd shit

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whysodelirious08 · 2 years

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Star Watchers - Young Eddie x best friend (no gender)

A/N: hey! Back with another one shot fic! It's got a twist! Don't mine always? Hah. Also technically there's no gender.

Vibe: it's lighthearted, it's mischievous, it's got fun and danger, it's a little sad too.

I don't know how many works. Soz lol.

Feedback welcome lovies! [Please reblog if you liked it. I'm trying to expand my audience, thanks <3]

________

"Eddie..."

"Eddie wake up!"

"Get your ass up!"

Your hushed voice was loud in the silence of the boys sleeping quarters, trying not to wake anyone since you'd be thrown to the wolves or teachers as others called them. A few of the boys stirred and you couldn't help but wince and freeze, hoping they would fall back to sleep. Several moments passed and you shook Eddie once again which finally woke him up, Eddie was the type to be a dead man sleeping. It was so hard to wake him up usually that you would normally just give up but you couldn't pass up this opportunity.

"What?"

"Shh! Come on. I wanna show you something"

"What time is it?"

"It doesn't matter! Just come on!"

"Why? I'm tired!"

"Come on Eddie!"

You sneaked back out, trying not to wake Jason, who was in a bunk right next to the door and the last thing you needed was him finding out you were sneaking about and leaving. You waited impatiently outside the cabin, the cool summer air nipping at the bare skin of your legs. You were stupidly dressed in a pyjama shirt and unmatched, knee-length shorts. You had pulled on your well-past-worn converse where your odd socks were poking out from. You felt a cheek hit your back and Eddie's now growing buzz cut tickle your neck.

"There better be a good reason for this..." his voice tired before a yawn slipped out.

"There is. Come on you egg" You had given him the Nickname "egg" after he had his head fully shaved off. He hated it but stopped protesting since you didn't give in.

"Alright..." He sighed as you took his hand and pulled him along through the camp, and to the fence where their access forbid them.

"What. You want to break the rules? Little miss goody two shoes?"

"I'm not totally boring! Plus. There's something I think would be cool to see...but if you're too much of a wimp-"

"Hell no-! Come on. I knew my wicked ways would convert you"

"You didn't convert me! And don't tell anyone"

"I- why would I tell anyone? Who else am I going to tell? You're the only person I'm friwnd with. Dumbass"

You rolled your eyes and he pulled your with him over the fence, hearing feet on the somewhat nearby deck ans a flashlight click on.

"Shit!" Eddie's voice was quiet now as he pulled you down into a crouched position, unfortunately putting you right next to the stinging nettles, those few moments felt like hours, your heart thudding and your mind racing at the thought of being punished, you knew you'd be spanked with a nearby branch if you had to. The teachers were horrid and nobody cared. The light and footsteps faded simultaneously and you were both, once again, at one with the darkness.

"Maybe we should go back..."

"What? No. You woke me up and you're going to show me. We'll be fine. Let's go. Yeah?"

You nodded and stood, rubbing your ankles as you already felt the sting. You'd have to make up some excuse, you'd probably just say you were trying to find the toilet in the dark and walk into some nettle on the way. You wished you weren't such a terrible liar though, unlike Eddie. Master of lying and sneaking around.

You nodded to yourself, pulling Eddie along through the field and then the woody area, it took a while and Eddie seemed to grow cathouse behind you.

"Hey...how much further? Were ages away from camp now..."

"Not long. You said it would be fine."

"Yeah...but I didn't know you were taking me all the way over here!"

"Eddie it's fine. It's just over there"

Eddie groaned behind you bur a few more minutes of walking and you pulled him to your side gently. The cliff between the trees gave way to the water below and a clear sky above where the moon was full and in her beauty was the glistening water and speckled stars.

"I mean it's pretty but..."

"Just wait!"

"Wait for what-"

"Eddie! Just look"

"I am"

"Ugh! Keep looking I mean!"

"Fine." Eddie grunted and you both watched for several minutes before a shooting star zipped across the sky.

"Make a wish! Make a wish, quick!" You urged Eddie, clinging to his arm excitedly. You shut your eyes and wished, wished for something so close to your heart and sent it off with deep love.

"What did you wish for?" Eddie sly smile catching your eye and you rolled them in response.

"I wish- Ugh well I can't tell your that, can I?"

"Nearly got you"

"Did not. Not even close, idiot!" You laughed and looked down at the water. "How about taking a dip?"

"Huh? What do you mean? The lake is off bounds at night"

"No I mean down there." You corrected as you looked at the gently rippling water.

"What?! No. It's too dangerous!"

"No, it's not! It's not even that far down" you smile and walked to the edge where there was a ladder you hadn't seen. It was bolted into the cliff but it looked old.

"There's no way that'll hold! Let's just go back before we're found missing" Eddie suddenly begged but you shrugged him off.

"Don't be such a baby, Egg. You're always saying I'm no fun and I don't do anything interesting!" You stated as you cautiously tested the ladder, you were pretty high up and were dangerous for an adult let alone two twelve-year-olds. You climbed down slowly, looking up to meet Eddie's fear-filled eyes practically begging you to come back up, you laughed and motioned for him to follow you. You were nearly at the end of the latter where it had broken, something you hadn't noticed before. You looked up again to tell Eddie the new finding but the wooden step your lower foot was on snapped, a sharp scream echoing as you held on but you stepped up and tried to calm yourself.

"Come on! Come back up! I don't like this! It's too dangerous. Please come back up here and we can head back!" Eddie's voice was shaky and for a moment you wanted to give in but you were also determined to prove yourself. You shook your head and stepped down to a small ledge where a few markings were drawn into the stone, names of people who had been here before.

"See! I'm fine. Come on!" You smiled softly, waiting to see what he would do.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'm right here Eddie. It's okay"

"Okay...just be careful..."

"I am careful"

"You're not right now-!"

"Okay look, Eddie. I'll give you my X-Men Comic as a peace offering, yeah?"

Eddie smirked as he made his decent.

"No takebacks! It's mine yeah?"

"Yeah. But you got to let me have some of your Halloween candy this year! I didn't get any without you, Lucy took all of mine" your older sister was a devil toward you when your parents were out.

"Okay deal"

"Deal. I think we'll have to hide out until morn-" You didn't get to finish that sentence, your eyes never leaving Eddie's as he stood on the ladder.

"Eddie!" The scream echoed before falling silent.

"Eddie?"

"Eds, You alright? You just wandered off...me and Steve were looking for you for the last ten minutes. Didn't you hear us?"

"No. No, Sorry." Eddie took a breath as he stared down from the top of the cliff, his jaw clenched as he tore his eyes off the gently rippling water.

"Something wrong? I know you didn't want to come on this trip but is there a reason why...?" Robin's cautious voice asked.

"No. No reason. It's fine. We should head back" Eddie smiled though his eyes lingered with every ounce of sadness imaginable. He looked back once, just once before he disappeared into the thick of the trees.

#fanfic #fanfiction #eddie munson #writing #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #x reader #eddie munson fanfic #fandom x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson x any #eddie munson young

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pinkcherryblossomangel · 2 years

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Away from home - chapter 4

Y/N is an actress, filming for her first lead role in the film adaptation of her favourite childhood book, produced by maximum effort.

She bonds with Ryan Reynolds over their share Love of the Korean pop band Stray Kids, and he has a surprise for her.

When she starts missing home and the darkness creeps upon her, her hotel neighbour comes to her rescue.

Trigger warnings- mentions of depression, self harm and anxiety

Stray kids fan fic

Mainly staring 3ratcha

But the other boys do make appearances it's just easy to keep to minimum of characters lol

Chan x oc

This is my first ever fan fiction so if it's shit soz.

He's gonna be here in like 20 minutes, so I'm cleaning up my room. Well shoving things into my wardrobe, but that's practically the same thing. I get dressed in some comfy clothes, and organise all my character work and script work on the table. I have a lot of thoughts about Tabby and her story. She's allowed me to tap into something more confident and almost powerful. I need to be more like her.

There's a knock at the door. He's five minutes early. I look through the peephole and there he is. Dressed all in black with his laptop and files. He looks so gorgeous. I hype myself up before opening the door. Don't fuck this up Y/N. You've got this!

"Hey!" I say it just a bit too loud, but he walks into my room ignoring that.

"Hey" He smiles. I lead him to the coffee table and sofa in my room. We sit down, our knees touching. That damned spark again.

"So ive had a read through the script and i think i understand most of the subtext theres a few places where id love your help!" He starts rifling through his copy of the script, hes marked places he thinks would be best paired with something unique. It looks like my script, all covered in highlighter and markings. I cant help but smile at how much he seems to be enjoying this job.

"Can i just ask why you took the job?". I ask, "not that youre not equipped for it, its just im sure you and the kids are always busy." He shifts in his seat to face me.

"I loved doing deadpool. And Ryan asked if we'd like to this film and we read the script and loved it. Unfortunately only the 3 of us could find the time to make it out here. Minho and seungmin have long-standing MCing jobs, I.Ns filming his acting debut," he leans in,"which you didn't hear from me. Hyunjin is creating a fashion line with versace, and Felix has gone back to Australia for a few months."

"Didn't you want to join him? Felix, I mean. Go back home and enjoy being with your family?" I ask

"A part of me did Yeah, but my sister Hannah's out here anyway and I've planned to see her a few times. She may even spend sometime on set with us if I can sort that out."

"Oh I'd love that!! Weirdly enough I actually found your guys music through Hannah's YouTube channel. People kept mentioning her brother so I checked out your music. Think Maniac may have been the first song I listened too." I admitted.

"I was gonna ask you about that actually. I heard you and Ryan bonded over your love of our music?"

"Yeah", I said shyly. "Kind of embarrassing, but yeah. During preproduction rehearsal for the dance scenes we'd blast your music for warm up. We actually almost used Thunderous for one of the dance routines!"

"You were really good before by the way. I forgot to say before. Me, Han and Changbin all thought you could give danceracha a run for their money." I blush. I don't know if this is him flirting but I bloody hope it is

"That's very sweet of you," for what feels like hours, but is merely seconds we hold eye contact. He then looks down at my lips and back to my eyes. I must be imagining that.

"You know what you want?" I break the gaze by pulling out the hotels room service menu.

The next few hours we spend talking about the script and characters. It feels like we've known each other for ages. He's so inspiring with his passion for his job, he's fueling the passion I have for my own. Everything we say in agreement, totally understanding the story in the same way. Dissecting the relationships and themes with such glee.

It's almost midnight by the time he leaves. I walk him to his door, a total of 4 steps from my own.

"Goodnight," i say, "I had a lot of fun!"

"Me too" He replies opening his door. "What time is your call time tomorrow?" He asks leaning against the door frame.

"Keith's picking me up at 9" I reply

"I'll message Sara to say I'm joining you, if that's cool with you?" He queries, running his hand through his slightly curly hair.

"I meet you out here at 8:50?"

"It's a date. Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Christopher"

"I like that. You using my full name."

"I'll keep that in mind". We kind of just hang there in our respective door frames.

"Goodnight....I think that's the 3rd time I've said that." I laugh "ill see you in the morning" He nods and we close our doors.

I go to my bed and ring my mum to tell her about everything that's just happened. She answers but can't stay on the call for long, she's about to head off to work. I hate time differences.

#chan x reader #bang chris #christopher bang #bang chan #seo changbin #3racha scenarios #stray kids fanfic #stray kids

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punkscowardschampions · 3 months

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JC pt.3

Casey: where’d you put the sherry bottle

Casey: I don’t care it ain’t the proper size, it’ll feel right to fuck it and fuck you with it

Janis: please, as many pleases as you need to hear

Janis: 🥺

Casey: as many as I’ll hear when I’m finally inside you, just me

Janis: like I don’t know no other words

Casey: say my name while you still know it

Janis: [do it on a short vid because you’ve either given audio or visuals so far not both combined (i think) so it’s blatant progression even if you are just showing how your face looks]

Casey: good fucking girl

Janis: for you

Casey: take every inch and cum for me

Janis: [not you filming your eyes so close up so he can SEE that reaction in all it’s intensity because you’re DYING]

Casey: you’re gonna make me in front of every smoking punter

Janis: [take your time to come back, will feel long as you are non-stop yapping but obviously isn’t lol]

Janis: you asked for it

Casey: [send her a pic of the blatant state of your lap now back from your ‘smoke break’ and behind the bar again, almost looking like you pissed yourself on this day with how dramatically you did that, soz not soz everyone, if you saw or see anything no you didn’t and no you don’t]

Janis: mine

Casey: I thought you fell off the counter, been gone ages

Janis: thank fuck I didn’t

Janis: felt loud enough to wake the neighbourhood anyway but that’d really seal it

Janis: I missed you even though I was dead

Casey: nah, most alive you could possibly be

Casey: real highest

Janis: I haven’t stopped shaking, like every nerve just woke up and is on fire

Janis: do you feel mental? I feel like feeling this good has to be bad for me

Casey: it did, I’ve brought you out the coma you’ve been in, got you to fight your way back to us tonight

Casey: I feel like my head is unfucking itself more every time I make you feel that good

Janis: You’re not scared, I won’t be

Janis: I’m wearing your clothes like armour

Casey: I’ve spent years scared you’d fallen off something bigger than the counter and I’d never have you back, too long gone

Janis: I could feel it, falling out from under me, the edge getting nearer

Janis: I can’t, I want to be happy, with you

Casey: I reckoned the only thing to do was break your fall with every bone in my body, and anybody else’s it took

Casey: but there’s another way, this one

Janis: even though that might be the best thing you’ve ever said

Janis: I hope you’re ready for me to be totally obsessed with you because that’s where we are

Casey: you know me and hope, always had it

Janis: ☀️

Janis: too accurate, can see how people end up writing poems and songs and shit, too much to say about you

Casey: *🌞 tah very much

Casey: without his smiling face lad ain’t looking too hopeful

Janis: *my apologies

Janis: your smile is the best one I’ve ever seen so it’s a fair shout

Casey: I’m fuming they don’t let you smile in none of the magazines, fit as you look when you’re dead serious

Janis: 😒😐🤨😠🥺😢 sells

Casey: you could sell owt doing owt, any pose is a good shout

Janis: we’re gonna test that one out too

Casey: poem you wanted too

Casey: [a model who is famous af in this era and some poet he’s heard of from school english lessons] be shaking at us

Janis: power couple is right

Casey: talk to me about how you missed me on your comedown from [this object]

Janis: I just really wanted you to be here, like I was on the floor, pick me up and not let go

Janis: I felt really cold suddenly because I was missing you being close to me

Casey: make yourself a brew and go back to bed, no messing about

Janis: I’m not really, I swear, it’s just the comedown

Janis: is that how you felt when you called me home?

Casey: do as you’re told, you need taking care of and I’m not home to

Janis: as you asked so unpolitely, right away

Casey: but yeah, I felt like that

Janis: weak

Janis: but like you’re gonna make that a really alright thing to be with how you take care of me

Casey: I go back to being a kid sometimes and even though it was ages ‘til I knew you, you’re all I want to sort my head out

Janis: but I know just what you mean

Janis: I think how much less shit some things could have been, if we’d known each other then

Casey: loads of things

Janis: I’d look after you

Casey: like the mum and dad I should’ve had an’ all

Janis: I really am greedy, how bad I wish that was how it was

Casey: been there and done the same wishing since we met

Janis: We might have to go away for a bit, just you and me

Janis: let the dust settle and heat die down

Casey: it’s okay, I’ll run away with you

Janis: is it?

Casey: is by me

Janis: we don’t know what’s gonna come, I shouldn’t bring it up like I do

Janis: but I’ll run away with you too, for the record

Casey: whatever the future chucks at us, here there or wherever, I’ll be with you for it

Janis: that were always going to be the case, far as I was concerned

Janis: you might’ve had other ideas but you know how I am

Casey: you’ve always had better

Janis: I’ll always need you around, more like

Janis: better you want it too

Casey: you know what I want

Janis: taking the piss to ask for a reminder quite yet, yeah

Janis: you want to be here in this bed with me though, I bet, this shift is taking forever

Casey: feels long ‘cause you need us around

Janis: and I’m waiting up for you, when I used to have to force myself to try and be asleep or really distracted by anything before you walked in

Casey: [tell her however long she has left to wait, whether we’re being cruel and that’s still a while or kind and it’s not]

Janis: [send him a selfie to show you did go back to bed like he said but also in your own cruel but kind wish you were here move]

Casey: fuck you too, with the same 🥺 as when you said it

Janis: you make me too fucking 🥺

Janis: I’d have to kill you before you could tell anyone

Casey: kill me then

Janis: you’re already such a mess, I don’t know how anyone is missing it if I do it again

Casey: job won’t miss us and I’m only hanging onto it long enough to put another shift in for you to gatecrash

Janis: I won’t let you lose your job

Janis: well, if you do this one for the gatecrashing I have just gotta do, you know I’ll make it worth it and find you a better one before you miss anything but me

Casey: I don’t care, this town ain’t short of pubs or clubs

Casey: there’s only the 1 fittest girl in it

Janis: would you think I was fit even if you didn’t know me

Casey: am I bent in this other world or what

Janis: I don’t judge, obvs

Janis: I’m just nothing like any other girl I’ve had the misfortune of seeing you with

Casey: they’d each be getting accidentally called your name else

Casey: and I’ve my rep as a massive racist to maintain, more importantly

Janis: ‘course, fake tans only

Casey: might not seem it, but I’ve got some instinct of how to keep myself alive

Casey: that were part of keeping going

Janis: nah, it does

Janis: I can see the logic even if they refuse to

Casey: if I can tell myself and show everybody I’m too much like dad, other reasons why you picked Jim don’t matter, there are none

Janis: I hate that

Casey: we’ve both done shit we reckoned we had to that’s turned out to be total bollocks now

Janis: like we said, can’t fixate on it because there’s no undoing any of it

Casey: I couldn’t of hacked lasses looking like you with how I treated them and couldn’t of treated ‘em no better

Janis: there’s nothing wrong with casual

Casey: what about being a bastard

Janis: I dunno

Janis: is it great? Sure, no

Janis: are you the only one? Not remotely

Casey: least it’s over and done with

Janis: It’s never too late to be as decent as you want to be, I’ve seen that loads over

Casey: I’d not have wasted loads of previous shifts trying to write something to Debbie if I didn’t reckon you had a point

Janis: Where would you start?

Casey: at you, where everything decent started for me, that

Janis: you’re decent

Janis: you can only play a convincing bastard, that’s not who you are

Casey: I wanna be, so you’re proud, even if mum’s unconvinced by my shit letter, like

Janis: don’t you feel the most like yourself when we’re together?

Janis: that boy is the sweetest, anyone should be proud of him

Casey: only time I do

Casey: rest I’m him, or her, or I’m nothing at all

Janis: feeling like a cheap imitation of your parents is something I know all about

Janis: trust I know you best and I’ll trust in who you see me as too

Casey: okay

Casey: your mum is nowhere near as fit as you, by the way and for the record

Janis: hm, add my nan to that record so I know it’s real, mate

Casey: as you can’t go telling her, alright then

Janis: such a dickhead

Casey: but yours

Janis: all mine

Casey: all the time, make a decent 2nd poem outta that while you’re there waiting

Janis: if you reckon you can take the piss I’ll make sure I make you feel every type of way by reciting them at you, be warned

Casey: put it to this

Casey: [and sending her another song played at the clerb and lbr playing rn that he feels a type of way about for whatever jc reasons]

Janis: I’m gonna play it until my ears bleed

Janis: sorry to make more mess but I’m not

Casey: whatever mess I’ve made of you is mine to clean up

Janis: please

Janis: with too much 🥺 to cope

Casey: [remind her of a time in jc past when you got some of her blood on you somehow and tell her what feral thing you did about it that she wouldn’t have known at the time, giving that you licked it if it was on your skin or if it was on your clothes you never washed said clothes and always be wearing them like she is yours now, either/or or tbh why not both because we can and will]

Janis: I thought you just really rated yourself in [these clothes]

Janis: now I can’t help but want a repeat

Casey: didn’t you rate us in them

Janis: You always look good, it’s very distracting

Casey: says you lay down wearing my clothes at the minute and none before then

Janis: says you like I can just be lying here now

Casey: nah, you’ve gotta go [to wherever these clothes are, be that in his wardrobe or a drawer] and have a look

Janis: way ahead of you

Casey: be careful your legs don’t go from under you

Janis: you’ll find me

Janis: I can really see why stalkers go in for all this, y’know

Casey: I’ll pick you up and carry you back to bed

Casey: what else have you seen

Janis: once you’ve fucked me into the floor like the bed, hopefully

Janis: [just be here listing clothes he hasn’t worn in ages from times you remember him wearing them, having way too much of a good time]

Casey: [add to the reminisce with what she was likewise wearing when you were wearing those fits because ofc you remember too, especially times when you saw her/spent time together]

Janis: you make it okay how obsessed I am with you, it feels good, not like something I have to work on or hide

Casey: you found the [something small of hers she didn’t even know she lost but he found and kept, I won’t commit us] yet

Janis: shit, no

Janis: now I’m 🔎

Casey: [give her a clue]

Janis: don’t ever stop being like this

Casey: I’ll get worse

Janis: I’ll love you more, it’s already all-consuming, I’ll let it kill me

Casey: I’d revive you, let you take all my breath and blood to do it

Janis: Dead or alive, I can’t do either without you, stay with me

Casey: swear on your [whatever object she’s hunting for] I’ve kept with me

Janis: [find this item and take a picture that’s giving an oath in some way, whether that’s tying the thing around you or placing your hands on it, you get the vibes]

Casey: [me just knowing this boy has an old shoe box from a pair of trainers his dad bribed him with once that’s like a memory box for everything he cares about and it’d have so many jc things in it from any time they did anything ever and pics of him with his mum and so many other heartbreaking things, we cannot because jimothy and bobby mems would be in there too but from so long ago]

Janis: [you just here crying over this because it is heartbreaking truly and to be confronted with a literal box of it is gonna kill you here and now]

Casey: [cannot be overstated how random the jc things would seem and like he’s collected scattered trash but she’d know them all, god bless him truly, me screaming because even Ian is in there cos he still loves him, stuff like a beer mat from the first time he took you to the pub etc, it’s fine]

Janis: I am proud of you already

Casey: what for

Janis: for having hope

Janis: not giving up on anyone

Casey: I wouldn’t know how to live without it no more than I would how to live without you

Janis: I think you’re the best person I know

Casey: what’s made it into that box is all I know

Casey: they’ve done their best

Janis: they should know, that you have too

Janis: I wanna scream it at them sometimes

Casey: long as you get it, that’s more than I’ve a real right to hope for

Janis: yeah, I’m not exactly helping you mend those relationships, am I

Janis: hypocritical as per

Casey: stuck in the middle as per, more like

Casey: and as far as helping me goes, you’ve done everything you could but scream in their faces or knock heads together

Janis: I’d say there’s time but

Janis: not really

Casey: if time’s run out, is what it is

Casey: I’d rather time with you

Janis: I mean my time, I’m not going to be in the middle now

Casey: yours’ll be your own again

Janis: scary prospect

Casey: I can be scarier, I’ll look after you

Janis: you can never let me be alone, how’s that

Casey: alright

Janis: I know you hate it too, you barely ever are

Casey: trust the quiet about as much as myself

Casey: when shit gets loud I know what’ll happen, it’s all I’ve known to ever be happening

Janis: and I thought the opposite of what I’ve known was the goal

Janis: but I can’t hack it

Casey: nor can he

Casey: he gave up before you, it ain’t your fault

Janis: then what does he want

Casey: he dunno, how are we meant to

Janis: can’t believe I thought it was me

Casey: fuck that, it should be you

Casey: he’s wrong

Janis: it doesn’t matter now, it’s over

Casey: it does, it matters you know he’s the one who’s a twat

Janis: thanks, that does cheer me up a bit, like

Casey: and I couldn’t want you more

Janis: you’re the one for me

Casey: meeting you saved my life

Janis: you’ll make me cry again

Casey: when was you crying

Janis: just because I love you, not a bad thing, promise

Casey: I get it, you really could’ve done with having your [thing] back before now

Janis: no, it’s the best thing in the world to me that you took it, kept it all this time

Janis: you can have anything you want from me

Casey: not more tears, you’ll give yourself a worse headache than the pain in your head just gone

Janis: I don’t need the excuse to have you look after me now

Casey: wipe your eyes wherever’s dry enough

Janis: on [the clothes that got her blood on]

Casey: I love how you fucking think

Janis: told you not to doubt me

Janis: my head’s always been full of you and all the ways I thought we could never be together outside of it

Casey: you’re so quick, right smart

Janis: now I know fully how much you want reminders, physical ones

Casey: just don’t shut yourself in the box, know you can hold your breath ages but still

Janis: I’ll have to work on stretching more to be flexible enough to fit

Janis: what else could I need

Casey: I’ll give you a hand, got loads of positions in my head we can put you in

Janis: tell me I can be just yours, I don’t want to see anyone else

Casey: they ask I’ll tell ‘em you gotta have longer off sick

Casey: phone ‘round like I’m your dad

Janis: it suits you

Janis: more than boyfriend, I reckon

Casey: you can call us it, you’re the only baby I need

Janis: I don’t know if I can, fuck

Casey: try

Janis: I am, like it’s your new name

Casey: ‘cause it is, I’ll only answer to it

Janis: [the !! way you’re saying this, like it is a question he’s gotta answer]

Casey: you already know what part of me is answering to it hardest

Janis: that’s how it should be

Janis: like when you called me baby the first time by mistake

Casey: tell me what I can fuck to remind me most of you

Janis: [me like what even at a club, you gonna have to get creative with your suggestions lol but that is y’alls vibe always so I’m sure you’ll think of something]

Casey: like I said, so smart

Casey: you never let me down

Janis: you need looking after too, that’s what I’m made for, my body knows it

Casey: I need to feel you against me

Janis: any excuse to touch you, to let you feel how warm you make my skin

Casey: yours is the softest mine has ever touched

Casey: like an actual baby

Janis: I’ll suck on your fingers on one hand whilst you touch me inside with the other, I want to know where is softer still

Casey: and warmer

Janis: You won’t be able to help yourself

Casey: I can’t

Casey: this [whatever she told him to use at this clerb, lord knows] is stretching to fit just like you’re gonna

Janis: I love feeling like I’m going to break, that burn

Casey: sick day’ll be for real, you’ll be in no state for work

Janis: break [whatever it is he’s fucking]

Janis: I want to be only good for one thing

Casey: it feels so good, you’ll wanna break it more ‘cause you’re jealous

Janis: I hate [this inanimate object]

Janis: I’m your only baby

Casey: I’m gonna cum inside it

Casey: tell me how much you hate that

Janis: I’ll cry

Janis: I’ll be crying, tell me how much harder that’ll make you cum, how much I need it

Casey: it’s clenched so tight ‘round me I can’t get deep enough without your tears

Janis: I’ve wanted to kill every girl you’ve ever been inside and that made them so much better for you, they were scared of you and me, scared of how you would do anything for me

Casey: you’re my girl, my only girl

Janis: they were as real as [this literal thing] weren’t they

Casey: less

Casey: you picked [the thing]

Janis: You should cum in me, exclusively, not even in your hand in the shower anymore

Casey: fill you ‘til you can’t barely move

Janis: we owe each other years, you need to make me yours

Casey: finally own you

Janis: I’m your girl

Casey: my baby

Janis: daddy

Casey: I feel it breaking, fuck

Janis: that’s going to be me, trained by the best

Casey: warn the neighbours, make sure they know what’ll happen when your daddy gets home

Janis: they’ll think it’s cats

Janis: I sound like an animal, here alone in our bed, imagine how much louder, more feral, you will make me

Casey: they’ll reckon it’s a crime scene

Janis: if we’d been able to touch before now, maybe we wouldn’t need to tear and grab and slam

Janis: but we do

Casey: too right we fucking do

Janis: You know how strong I am, what I can take

Casey: you took [whatever he told her to use in the kitchen earlier] so well

Janis: did I make you proud?

Casey: never been prouder

Janis: I’m just like you, I promised

Janis: I’ll take everything you give me

Casey: I’ll give you everything I’ve got

Janis: That’s better than any vow

Casey: what’s a vow but saying it in front of witnesses

Casey: every dickhead still in the club can hear me is how it feels

Janis: I’m jealous of every single one

Janis: they don’t deserve that, I do

Casey: [send her some utterly feral audio that’s pure LOUD noise and the sound of you literally breaking this thing whatever it may be]

Janis: You are the best thing that ever happened to me, holy shit

Casey: nowt more mutual

Janis: will you let me be that loud in public, will you make me?

Casey: yeah, there’s a vow

Casey: I will

Janis: 😁

Casey: give us a real smile

Janis: [do, as big as that but you know she is a HOT mess with it]

Casey: [in return send her a pic of this broken thing and the absolute mess you’ve made of it]

Janis: you’ll have to be careful, to make sure you bring all of it back for me

Casey: what vow’s that, lucky number 3

Janis: are you calling me demanding?

Casey: saying you’ve no need to worry, you’ll have it

Janis: I’m not scared

Casey: [give her an updated how long there is of this shift like you’ve got no reason to be cos I’ll soon be back]

Janis: I can’t believe you’ve done all this without touching me, not even being in the same house

Casey: there you go then, couldn’t call you demanding, could I

Janis: you can

Casey: nah, other lasses would’ve demanded us in the same house hours ago

Janis: what did I do wrong then

Casey: you’ve done every sec of this right

Janis: If you say so

Casey: I did, yeah

Janis: promise you’d say, if it was too far

Janis: don’t let me make a twat of myself

Casey: not gonna start now, what sort of mate

Casey: it weren’t nowhere near but as far as we can go without me touching you

Janis: good

Janis: I’m not scared, I just

Janis: I can get in my head

Casey: me an’ all

Casey: it’s alright, he’s rejected you but I ain’t him

Janis: don’t spare my feelings, like

Casey: you know what I mean, sod all you could say, do, reckon or feel what’d scare us off

Janis: ‘cos I weren’t perfect, I won’t be

Casey: I’ve done the bollocks fantasising as a kid, I’m asking you to chuck us reality, I can hack it, you as you are

Casey: I want it

Janis: okay

Janis: but I am going to stop being a nightmare, at least for now

Janis: that I can do

Casey: you ain’t started

Janis: if I’m out here sounding like my sister, I’ll be throwing myself out the window

Casey: if we was planning on sleeping, I’d have the best dreams of you, trust me

Janis: I might let you, you’ve been putting work in whilst I’ve just been laid up here

Casey: you’ve not just nowt

Casey: been putting in your own shift for us keeping me in a top mood to finish mine

Janis: proper inspiring, you

Janis: but can’t call it work, not when it’s for you

Casey: can’t call this work when it’s pissing about pouring drinks

Janis: still not where you want to be, that’s the basic definition of a job, ain’t it

Casey: is it, I dunno, you like yours, what I’ve heard

Janis: best way to pay the bills and pass time for me but I don’t want to live for it, not that sort

Casey: be a bit awkward now, what am I living for if you are your job

Janis: massaging footballers ain’t that fun, sounds much more salacious than it is

Casey: steady on, told you about using posh words, not that sort, me

Janis: if I said it weren’t that hot, you’d automatically think it were and I’m LOVING every second I’m on the clock

Casey: 😏 your precious footballers are safe

Casey: ain’t even players from the youth team in and what I’ve said about my mood stands

Janis: I’m hearing you ain’t gonna give me more work

Casey: I heard you weren’t no workaholic, like

Casey: tonight you’ve got enough on

Janis: awkward if I fall asleep on ‘em, yeah

Casey: bit

Casey: but you could lie it’s a new type of massage or something, they’d believe your bollocks is cutting edge in Asia, up to all sorts, them

Janis: I know better than to bring that up, shorthand for 💦

Casey: tah for shortening the shorthand, mate

Janis: not even gonna say it, not that sort of girl, not that sort of establishment

Casey: not the sort of place, give you that

Janis: shocking accusation

Casey: you’ve thought about inviting me to your work too, know you have, but I happened to get in there 1st

Janis: I just know how much you’d benefit

Casey: book us in then

Janis: You think that’s a good idea?

Casey: don’t you

Janis: No but that’s not a no to doing it, obviously

Casey: check your diary

Janis: another date, is it

Casey: why not

Janis: there’s no reason

Casey: no need for no reason to put a stop to whatever we wanna do

Janis: bit late for that

Casey: yeah

Janis: I can’t think about what I’m going to do yet, not tonight

Janis: I’ll do it tomorrow, start to, whatever

Janis: not whatever but

Casey: You ain’t gotta force yourself tomorrow, not ‘cause of me

Janis: Isn’t it the bare minimum I can do for him?

Casey: won’t make no odds to him when you do it but it will to you how

Janis: Surely it should

Janis: not carrying on for years behind his back should mean something

Casey: we’ve not

Janis: and we shouldn’t

Casey: I weren’t saying we should, I was warning against blurting it out morning after, be doing him no favours

Janis: alright

Janis: I’m not that tactless, I can be better than that

Casey: you’ll feel that guilty, more like

Janis: you won’t?

Casey: I’ll not be sat eating breakfast with him or owt, piss easy for us to avoid the pair of them longer than you

Janis: yeah but still

Casey: what

Janis: what should I do

Janis: you tell us what to do and I’ll do it

Casey: depending on him pissing off early to his office or bed as per and our kid not hanging about as his creepy shadow an’ all, you’d have more of a clue of their 2 schedules, but

Casey: you talk

Casey: at him for a bit if he don’t join in with you

Janis: He went to bed [clearly early even for depression era Jimothy]

Janis: no mood to deal with the little dark cloud himself ⛈

Janis: maybe I should wait, I’m stopping talking anyway because this back and forth is making me sick never mind you

Casey: you heard, it’s okay to

Casey: never gonna be a decent time for it far as he nor you are concerned, making twats of ourselves pretending otherwise

Janis: but maybe it’ll be better in the long run if he doesn’t think I left him for you, can’t say that’s all it was

Janis: but that could be guilt talking and it’s only better for me

Casey: weren’t all it was but we’ve no say in how his head or Bob’s mouth fancies twisting it after you’ve said your piece

Janis: of course, even if Jimmy would hear me out and take it in, the kid ain’t going to see it happen

Janis: Jesus

Casey: we’d rip the plaster off but they ain’t us

Janis: It’s not going to be okay

Janis: I know that but

Janis: I still want to protect him

Casey: there’s your bare minimum you brought up, you can and will

Casey: and I’ll protect you from whatever needing to go about it like that does to your head

Janis: What about you?

Casey: I’m not being hurt, nothing to protect me from

Janis: I know you don’t want to do this to him anymore than I do though

Casey: he expects better off you, this is your first time being brought down to my level

Casey: I’m used to how it feels down here

Janis: Come on, you’ve never done anything like this

Casey: ‘cause you’ve not given in, not ‘cause I’m above it

Janis: neither am I, clearly

Casey: we’ve been over what bollocks it is him reckoning you’re perfect and putting you up on a fucking massive pedestal

Janis: I let him didn’t I

Casey: what was you meant to do, see this shit coming

Janis: Not be happy being 👸

Casey: you’re a lass, you’re told to

Janis: I’m not that, not meant to be like my sisters

Casey: liking being treated nice don’t make you your sisters

Janis: fucking embarrassing though

Casey: so’s the alternative, least you don’t crawl about same as a kicked dog thinking you deserve nowt

Janis: I don’t now

Casey: leave it out

Janis: It’s what everyone will think

Casey: let ‘em, I won’t and I’ll do whatever to keep it from getting in your head

Janis: I don’t want people to say that about you

Casey: nobody’s opinion means shit to me except yours

Janis: That’s how I want to be, have to to survive this

Casey: I’d carry you ‘til you’re out the other side if I had to

Casey: but nah, we’re just onto a 👸🏽 fantasy of mine, you’re the strongest dickhead I know

Janis: I still like the sound of it

Casey: you’ll like the sound of every fantasy

Janis: I like you, a lot

Casey: don’t make us 😳 again

Janis: but you’re so cute

Casey: you’re such a

Janis: windup, I can’t help it

Janis: there’s no one I like playing with more

Casey: I can’t fight the effect you have on me

Janis: You shouldn’t have to

Janis: you deserve everything I’m going to give you

Casey: [send another pic of you adorably flustered because of course you’re all hot and bothered about it always and forever]

Janis: I can’t stand you not being mine

Casey: I’ve been yours since [literally the date of the day they met]

Janis: but don’t stop, never ever

Janis: please

Casey: I’d rather stop breathing

Janis: Not as long as I am

Casey: not ‘til I’ve grown old with you

Janis: What do you think you’ll look like?

Janis: you won’t be as pickled as your dad, what did your grandads look like?

Casey: 👴 and 👨‍🦳 to be fair

Casey: but I’ll find photos out, show you what you’re really in for

Janis: There’s loads I don’t know about your family, still

Casey: probably isn’t loads to tell but you can still have what there is

Janis: More than he likes to talk about

Janis: which I get

Casey: [give her all the tea cos you’re not jimothy, I imagine Ian has a dead dad he’s giving that and inherited heavy drinking but tell her what you know regardless whether you have any memories of your own or not cos RIP, likewise about your nan from the slay pic that made us laugh earlier even though she’s obvs still up north and rarely if ever visits because giving refuses to leave the north ever, and anyway if she did now it would only be your dad and his new missus we know, on your mum’s side you probably have no tea if they washed their hands of her/were cut off from her when she got with Ian the bad egg and that drama even before the prison of it all]

Janis: I like listening to you

Janis: if I had anything to add that weren’t common knowledge about my own, I would now but not that lucky, sadly

Casey: tah for staying awake throughout

Janis: Shh

Janis: you know I wanna know everything you wanna tell us, dead nosy like that

Casey: stick it where you want, heard you’re dead imaginative like that an’ all

Janis: if you’re lucky, boy

Casey: I do feel well lucky at the minute

Janis: It’s mutual

Janis: even if you’re keeping me waiting

Casey: [tell her yet again how long she’s gotta wait but in a not long now way cos we’re getting through this shift gals]

Janis: I really didn’t want you to leave

Janis: didn’t even lock the bathroom door just in case

Casey: I should’ve stayed

Janis: You were too busy being noble and sensible

Janis: one of us had to

Casey: I dunno about that

Casey: being such a bellend maybe

Janis: I dunno, you’d have been beaten out by Bobby

Janis: rather some smashed glass any day

Casey: any day’d be taking the piss

Janis: Might start charging, yeah

Janis: but you did get rid of that clingy girl before I had to so that’s worth something

Casey: be charging for that else, least I could do

Janis: Poor cow

Casey: dodged a bullet, her

Janis: Might tell her to take the day off school, if she’s lucky

Casey: tell your mum to homeschool your sister, lucky hippies don’t need to be told twice

Janis: should have the time, now the rest of us are grown

Casey: gutted I am, money on her teaching us all sorts

Janis: yeah, yeah

Janis: spent ages saying you don’t think she’s fit, I’m not convinced you wanna be schooled by anyone but me

Casey: model kid don’t mean she’s no milf but she’s a bit pale for me, yeah

Janis: Your dad is somewhere having an aneurysm

Casey: same as the last teacher I told to slap some fake tan on

Janis: Not the worst you said to any teacher, like

Casey: nah, nowhere top 10 but you know what [this teacher we’re namedropping and I imagine is oversensitive af] were like

Janis: I remember

Casey: you don’t ever forget nowt

Janis: says you

Janis: you remember everything

Janis: I’ve disassociated through loads

Casey: ‘course, ages since I had a head injury

Casey: but not with me, you’re always in the room

Janis: he’s so 👨‍🦳👴 now, no ⚽️🥊

Casey: piss off am I

Janis: paybacks a bitch

Casey: *you’re

Janis: honeymoon over already is a new record, even for me

Casey: over for you when we hit the gym 🥊

Janis: hot

Janis: but just a fantasy 💔

Casey: yours I’m old an’ all and you can beat us at 90

Janis: the age gap means nothing now, thanks very much

Casey: alright, it’s up to you to find something else to blame when I’m setting a new record running rings ‘round you, I was chucking you an easy out, mate

Janis: I don’t need your pity

Janis: easy outs are for losers

Casey: and you’re gonna lose, sorry baby

Janis: you can’t sweet talk me into it, I’m just a natural-born winner

Casey: it ain’t talk, I can back it up and you can watch us

Janis: no touching, that’s what you said

Casey: don’t sound like me

Janis: I remember everything, remember saying that one?

Casey: nah, you win this one

Janis: you need touching now, too far gone

Casey: go with it then

Janis: do you reckon I need convincing

Casey: I reckon you need touching as bad

Janis: I’d even let you win for it

Casey: be less fuming about me winning fair and square, you mean

Janis: okay, baby

Casey: I’ll remember this

Janis: you should be thinking on what you want your prize to be

Casey: way ahead of you, which you should’ve already gotten used to from our runs

Janis: Oh no, you’ve given yourself concussion, haven’t you

Casey: you’d have been better off claiming I’m dreaming, I’ve had more concussions than you’ve got fantasies

Janis: could be

Janis: maybe you’re in bed, not me

Casey: why my shift feels like it’ll never end, not the first time I’ve had a nightmare about being stuck in work

Janis: If this is a nightmare

Casey: I wouldn’t dream of keeping you waiting

Janis: I’ve had dreams/nightmares like this

Casey: go on

Janis: waiting on you, you never showing

Casey: you do owe us tears but I’ll think of another way to make you cry

Janis: I’m a bad loser, you wouldn’t know because you’ve never seen it but

Casey: I’ve seen how much worse you are at shutting up, but I’ll give you a hand now you’ve said I can put ‘em on you

Janis: you gotta make me, I’ve been way too loud tonight

Casey: ‘til your voice breaks too I’ll keep you under control

Janis: how do you have this much control over me already

Janis: ‘cos all I want to do now is show you how well-behaved I can be and make you so proud

Casey: what’s a daddy for

Casey: all you need’s something to bite down on and you’ve got me

Janis: you say that now

Janis: you might not be able when you’re full of holes and losing blood fast 🧛‍♀️

Casey: even if you went full cannibal over us I’d still be saying what I did instead of any other goodbye

Janis: tempting, honestly

Janis: but I need you around too bad to ever do anything to make you go away

Casey: only thing what would is you telling us to piss off and proper meaning it and you’ll not be tempted

Janis: I couldn’t do it, when I had all the incentive, technically, the most I’ll ever have

Casey: I’d never do anything pushing you far enough into being forced either, we’re good

Janis: I know, even if I didn’t give you proper time or chance to prove one way or another

Casey: you’re chucking both our way to prove it now

Janis: yeah, you could go to hers still

Casey: I don’t reckon I could

Janis: Good

Casey: proved that much already, ages before you brought it up

Janis: It would hurt to be touched by anyone else now

Janis: thinking about you letting it happen hurts too

Casey: I wouldn’t let it happen, don’t think like that

Janis: I can’t help it

Janis: no 🌞 like you

Casey: I’ll help you think of something else

Janis: that’s all you’ve been doing, like your job

Casey: ain’t work though, I’d do it 27-4

Janis: I’ll let you

Casey: I heard earlier, you wanna behave like a good girl for me

Janis: if you’re disappointed, I can always stop behaving

Janis: make it a challenge for you

Casey: you couldn’t disappoint me if I challenged you, no more than you can stop

Janis: Not saying it wouldn’t be a struggle at this point

Janis: I am fed up of being alone

Casey: oi, I’ve not left you alone

Janis: not today

Janis: you know what I meant

Casey: today’s what counts, we’re only looking back to chat about how fit you looked as a lifeguard

Casey: or other important shit like that

Janis: okay, can agree to that

Casey: as I said, can’t help but behave, you

Janis: a good idea is a good idea

Janis: and I’m too comfy to complain

Casey: no better idea than making me proud

Janis: did you hate me, when I married him

Janis: or any point but if I had to guess that would be the one I’d go for

Casey: ‘Course not, hating what you done don’t mean I’d hate you

Janis: I should’ve tried harder to make it easier for you

Casey: you was trying with him, can’t do both, have it all

Casey: intention of sorting his head out were a good one and more than can be said for most dickheads and their fuck ups

Janis: size of mine to think I stood a chance

Casey: hope can be a bastard sometimes

Janis: delusion

Casey: nah, dad didn’t stand a chance where he stood with how he reckoned he’d sort us all out, you did

Janis: I was just another fucked up kid, distancing myself from my own fucked up family

Casey: came the closest still, however much I hated it

Casey: he were alright for a bit, okay even

Janis: I didn’t change, I don’t understand what happened, still

Casey: whatever happened weren’t to do with you, he’s who changed

Casey: wedding set him back or it started before and he needed the wedding to try and put it right, either way

Janis: I know you don’t want to talk about it

Janis: but I doubt he ever will either

Casey: you can talk about owt you want with me

Janis: I’m cool, will have to be, there’s no good answer, one I’d want to hear, when you really think about it

Casey: bottling shit up does nowt but keep dickheads reaching for one,‘til I go shop we’re low on ‘em and you ain’t a paying customer ‘til tomorrow night

Casey: nevermind you’ve never been cool since I’ve known you, like, have a word with yourself

Janis: excuse you x2

Janis: affairs are meant to be self-esteem boosters, not ruiners, what I heard

Casey: not an affair, this

Casey: you should’ve picked up some twat at work or out the gym

Janis: won’t be called anything better

Casey: they can call it what they fancy, we know what it is

Janis: you know I could’ve picked anyone else

Janis: no good reason to drag you into this

Casey: if it were about being a lonely housewife whose husband’s ignoring her, yeah

Casey: but bollocks is it, been dragged into that loads of times before

Janis: I’m sure you have

Casey: we both had our reasons and you might not reckon yours are no good but mine are

Janis: I didn’t say that

Janis: they’re separate issues to me but that’s not how it’ll be seen by anyone, was what I did

Casey: our kid can go on ‘til he’s blue in the face about how I only want to fuck you to fuck them over but I don’t, same is true of the rest

Casey: if you never touched us my feelings’d go nowhere and if you pretend you’ve no issues in your marriage they’ll be piling up any road

Janis: I’ve not just noticed you because things are going wrong with Jim

Janis: if that were the case, Bobby’d have less to say

Casey: we’ve got jobs and it ain’t educating everybody thick in this town

Janis: Thank fuck

Casey: you couldn’t of had an affair, ain’t that sort

Casey: anybody who knows you already knows it

Janis: I didn’t mean to be this monogamous, it just happened

Casey: it’s not a bad thing

Janis: let’s just not saint me for it

Janis: maybe it weren’t the right thing

Casey: I’m not, it obviously weren’t right for you to be acting old and married long before you were, I’ve always said

Janis: that’s what we wanted

Casey: and you wouldn’t want or tell your little sister to chuck herself at every lad with a pulse, you’ve not missed out for leaving that out

Janis: There must be some benefits

Casey: why must there

Janis: it’s what most people end up doing, more or less, exploring their options

Casey: seen the state of their grass at no [a house across the street to give the grass isn’t greener on the other side lol]

Janis: mrs nextdoor was going on about it but felt like it might be code

Casey: begging to be sainted, her

Casey: who’s gonna tell her she’s taken a bit of a wrong turn

Janis: you could warn her next time you’re chatting to her in the shower, surely

Casey: steady on, I’ve never chatted to her directly, unless she’s changed her name, but she’d be nicking your post an’ all then and I’ve seen none of that

Janis: I don’t think she can tell any of yous apart so she might reckon she can pass for me

Janis: nothing wrong with her hearing though

Casey: ears’ll be making up for how hard her eyes have gone, least they can do

Casey: her head must be headed off the same way she reckons she can pass for you

Janis: She probably bitches about how rude you’re being when Bob straight up blanks her on his way to school

Janis: nicest thing you’ve said to us, reckoning I can’t pass for a 58 year old

Casey: slipper don’t fit, nobody’s more gutted than me, trust us

Janis: piss off

Casey: she’ll always have her thoughts of us in school uniform

Janis: gutting I can’t offer different way to keep her warm at night 🔥 that’s what we get for not affording detached

Casey: guards’d blame me and your insurance’d pay out, live your dreams, mate

Janis: they’d never soon as they realise how in love you apparently were

Casey: lovers tiff, they don’t all offer to bin their husbands for me

Janis: 🙄

Casey: too right, pisstake it is

Janis: and sure, what would you do with that many lonely housewives, think on

Casey: I’m not the massive homophobe my dad would have us be, they wanna lez off together I’m alright about it

Janis: what a man

Casey: real catch, I know

Janis: know your worth, babes

Casey: nicest thing you’ve said to me, that

Janis: channelling the nicest girls I know

Casey: don’t remember agreeing to roleplay but

Janis: careful what you say next, boy

Casey: you who said it

Janis: you who’s dead keen to carry on

Casey: dead keen isn’t how I’d describe feeling about any of them lasses back in the day or now

Janis: who was

Casey: not ageing well neither, actually look 90 if they’re a day

1 note · View note

racingliners · 1 year

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F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 17 - Singapore

My joy of joys that we’re on Singapore, hands down one of my all time fave tracks, I love it so much. Even if it hasn’t always loved me back (no we do not discuss Singapore 2017 in this house).

Anyway, I once again remember nothing, literally nothing. My head is very empty. Apart from having a vague awareness of Perez winning??? (And Seb’s unbelievably stunning black and rainbow helmet) So, let’s jump right in!

Do I mainly love Singapore bc the Marina Bay circuit is very pretty? Maybe, you can’t judge me

I find it very wild I didn’t watch Singapore highlights last year though, considering it’s one of my favourite races, that was either very dumb on my part, or I was Going Through Stuff™️

Anyway, intro done, circuit shots preeeeeeeeeetty

IT RAINED BEFORE THE RACE?!

oh god I’m having 2017 flashbacks

“it is greasy and it is slippy” nope, no, I don’t want

f u c k 🥲

right, let’s see if I survive finding out the starting grid

Seb in P13, I will take it

“The most successful driver in Singapore” you’re damn right he is THAT’S MY BOY

LEWIS P3 HELL YEAH

oh. Leclerc pole. So he doesn’t win then?

it’s sparkly gold helmet is very pretty though

“We saw Ted Kravitz slipping and sliding on the grid” The things he sacrifices for F1

[Formation Lap]: welp the track is still damp, everyone is on inters and there’s a fair amount of spray coming off them

ughhhhhhhhh

the wide city/circuit shots are still gorgeous though. The Singapore GP may occasional be messy but boy she is beautiful.

“Number 350, let’s make it a special one” I hope that doesn’t age too poorly

also DAMN Fernando save some race starts for the rest of us?

“Let’s keep our fingers crossed we don’t get a repeat of 2017″ SHUT UP CROFTY I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT

[Start/Lap 1]: ew Verstappen took the lead at the start

but no carnage!!!! F1 taketh away and F1 giveth

wait it was PEREZ???? HOW????

It is indeed Perez I am very unobservant, soz

SEB INTO P8!!!! THAT’S MY LION OF SINGAPORE

[Lap 2]: A clean first lap??? around Singapore??? I am SHOCKED

No don’t show Verstappen talk more about Seb

anyway helmet watch: rainbow helmet (sparkly version). ily Lewis

oof Ferrari was a tractor in the second part of the start. yikes.

[Lap 3]: Lewis wanted to start on the full wets???? Bestie no. Bono talk some sense into your man pls.

[Lap 4]: anyway he’s in P4 still gotta take those positives

[Lap 5]: Verstappen under a second behind Seb. nein danke.

No one is allowed to overstake Seb at Singapore it’s in the regs.

[Lap 6]: “They’re [Seb and Verstappen] three seconds slower than the leaders” we know the AMR22 was a tractor, I don’t need reminding.

“Vettel gaining a bit on Pierre Gasly” Seb I love you SO MUCH

[Lap 7]: Death, taxes, and Kevin getting a black and orange flag at the start of a race

Seb onboard FINALLY

I said it already but his helmet for this race was STUNNING

Noooo Zhou’s stopped and Nicky has a puncture. Bother.

Oh, they collided. BOYS 😭

[Lap 8]: Aaaaaaaand full safety car. Death, taxes, and there being at least one safety car the Singapore Grand Prix.

Nicky DNF 😔

[Lap 9]: oh not a replay of Russell and Bottas violence vzsdjvzbah

fellas

“No one’s been lapped, no one needs to unlap themselves” Crofty I swear I will pay you to stop mentioning a certain race I do not want reminded about

[Lap 10]: Safety car in at the end of the lap. I’m slightly stressed.

[Lap 11]: A CLEAN RESTART. I AM ASTOUNDED.

Does... does everyone have their braincells??? at the same time??? amazing

ew Verstappen passed Seb

also stop talking about title permutations I don’t want to know.

Livery watch: There’s pink accents on the McLaren instead of the light blue??? You know what I dig it

[Lap 12]: Verstappen behind Alonso? *grabs popcorn*

oh Lewis didn’t want full wets the beef was over a new or used set of inters. Thank goodness. Bono can come talk some sense into me instead.

[Lap 13]: Anyway, Alonso v Verstappen watch. It’s like a simmering pot.

Lewis within a second of Sainz? Seb six tenths behind Gasly? Let’s get it lads.

[Lap 14]: “The straight line speed of the Red Bull is faster than the straight line speed of the Alpine” Really Crofty??? You don’t say... /s

[Lap 16]: I hate to say it but... nothing much is happening my friends 😭

It seems like the track is starting to properly dry out since drivers are being asked to look for puddles to cool the tyres, but it’s obviously nowhere near slicks territory yet

Marina Bay Street Circuit 🤝 my hair: taking forever to dry

[Lap 17]: Oh!!! I see a hint of a dry line!!

and yet, in other places we still have small puddles

[Lap 18]: Oh no Russell is behind Bottas, boys please, don’t be violent.

[Lap 19]: Oh to be a Ferrari mechanic, sweeping water out of the pitbox

Verstappen is still behind Alonso. Fernando is powered on spite alone I feel.

“It’s a really cautious race” Yeah, at least the track is pretty though

[Lap 20]: Almost third distance klaxon!!!!

maybe I’m very biased but I do love watching the cars drive round Singapore, it is hands down the best street circuit on the calendar. Every street track wishes it was Marina Bay.

“It’ll be a brave person who switches to slicks” *cuts to the Merc garage prepping tyres* oh no

“Whenever Perez has led more than 15 laps of a race he’s gone on to win it” oh that is a fun fact actually

[Lap 21]: Alonso DNF. The pre-start team radio did age like milk.

VSC, are we gonna get a pitstop shuffle?

oof the engine just died on the spot. yikes.

eesh Yuki nearly ended up in the wall

[Lap 22]: Russell pits 👀👀👀👀👀

HE’S ON SLICKS

ohhhhhhh boy, inch resting

“That’s brave at the moment” This is the one time I will agree with Verstappen. You may note the date and time.

cut to Shov on the pitwall trying to look unbothered

“No grip” pretends to be shocked

[Lap 24]: ooh Lewis closing the gap to Sainz

OH Lance is up to P9!!!! Please let us have double AM points.

no rain anywhere on the radar thank goodness.

[Lap 25]: “We are not event at half race distance” ...I know

[Lap 26]: Yellow flag sector two???

Noooo Alex in the wall

oh okay he’s back driving he just doesn’t have a front wing

VSC 2 electric boogaloo

oh no the Ferrari mechanics are standing by the tyres.

phew no one pitted.

Alex DNF 😭

OH SHIT this is his first race after his whole hospital fiasco, jeez louise

[Lap 27]: VSC ended, I’m starting to see more of a dry line before turn 8

[Lap 28]: Oh I didn’t even notice Sainz being 15 secs behind Leclerc. yikes.

and Ocon is vibing in the run off?? Also a bit smoky.

Oh. Alpine went poof.

VSC 3!! Give it up for VSC 3!!

[Lap 29]: yikes you can see the oil the Alpine is leaking as it gets rolled back. That was not a happy Renault engine.

Down to 15 runners.

Bono sighting!!!!!

[Lap 30]: Lewis do not overtake under the VSC pls.

aaaaaaand VSC ended let’s zoom

or not the track is still not dry enough for slicks

oh not a replay of Norris and Verstappen nearly crashing at the restart.

cut to displeased McLaren mechanics.

[Lap 31]: Seb still in P8, an unbothered king

wait have we even had DRS this race???? I don’t recall seeing a graphic for it

Livery watch: The RBR livery is so dull I want to cry. Bring back the glossy metallic blue PLEASE

[Lap 32]: Please tell Ted how much I love his long winded analogies

also HALF RACE DISTANCE KLAXON!!!

its_been_84_years.gif

and we have indeed not had any DRS, cheers Brundle

[Lap 33]: LEWIS NO

Oh thank fuck he’s gotten going again but SHIT

argh his front wing is damaged.

meanwhile Russell fastest sector 2. It may be slicks time.

The duality of Mercedes AMG F1.

[Lap 34]: Lewis’ front wing is starting to fall apart, Gasly has pitted for slicks. We are going from 0 to 100 VERY FAST

Yeah Russell fastest sector 1 it’s slicks time

Everybody do the PIT STOP SHUFFLE *70′s Disco music starts blaring*

Leclerc, Yuki, Bottas, Kevin, Lewis and Seb have pitted.

half a second Seb sighting I’ll take it

[Lap 36]: And Perez pits

Sainz too, I’m guessing Norris, Verstappen, Lance and Dan aren’t far behind.

Yellow flag sector 2.

YUKI NO

WE’VE HIT 100 AND I DON’T LIKE IT

Safety Car 2 - Electric Boogaloo

huh McLaren are the only cars to not have pitted.

...until now, mechanics in the pitlane

[Lap 37]: “I’m always here for you Crofty” oh Ted

“Don’t sweat it Lewis, we’re still in it mate” oh 🥺

seriously where do I get an emotional support Bono?

So, everyone is on the mediums apart from Dan and Bottas who are on softs, inch resting

[Lap 38]: Bernd Maylander for Driver of the Day

oh and we’re back with the 2hr countdown (37-ish mins left). I’m going to try very hard to keep track of the lap count, unlike what I did with Monaco.

(my apologies in advance if the liveblog goes to pot from here)

okay so Ferrari think a long safety car as opposed to a red flag to fix the barriers.

[Lap 39]: no don’t show sad Yuki 😭

oh Safety Car ending, alright then

“Respect the distance with the safety car” yes now is not the time for crimes Checo

[Lap 40]: Mostly clean restart thus far

Wait when did Lance get up to P7????

anyway Seb still P8

VERSTAPPEN STRAIGHT DOWN THE RUN OFF WHAT

Anyway AM P6 and P7 now, double points pls

[Lap 41]: oh no Perez got noted for a Safety Car infringement

I SAID NOW WASN’T THE TIME FOR CRIMES FFS

And Russell has a rear puncture. Zero braincells found anywhere post-restart

Russell on Mick violence? fuck off

[Lap 42]: ANYWAY, Charles is catching Perez???

👀

Noooooo Mick’s going slowly now

[Lap 43]: Oh Charles and Perez are very close

Thankfully Mick just pitted and is still in the race

...Perez has an engine issue????

DRS Enabled 👀👀👀

alrightly then

aw Seb’s in 7th and Lewis in 8th, the mates that race together stay together

[Lap 44]: I find it very wild that we only have 14 cars left this race has certainly been SOMETHING

[Lap 45]: and we’re seemingly at 75% race distance, huzzah!!

meanwhile Charles is hunting Perez for sport at this point they’re SO CLOSE

gap still under a second

[Lap 46]: I feel like playing jaws music over this battle would be more fitting

lol I just realised we have the two Ferraris, both McLarens, and Lance and Seb in sequence. Something something Noah’s arc

Fastest sector 1 Charles, come onnnnnn

gap 6 tenths!!!

[Lap 47]: Oh there’s a definite dry line on the track now. It’s about bloody time.

20 mins left, and we are at full points distance!

[Lap 48]: Charles is painfully close to Perez at this point

Physically I’m in the living room, mentally I’m cursing RBR’s straight line speed.

cut to a somewhat stressed Ferrari pitwall

hmph Charles’ gap is suddenly 1.4 seconds. I should not have gotten my hopes up.

[Lap 49]: “Mick Schumacher will continue to drive like it’s the race of his life” AS HE SHOULD stfu Russell

“If they’re going to put a penalty on they should do it during the race” You run on the assumption that race control and the stewards have a braincell between them. They don’t.

[Lap 50]: oh of course Perez is getting investigated after the race. ffs.

[Lap 51]: Don’t have Horner talking over Lewis and Bono. RUDE.

[Lap 52]: 10 mins left, will Perez get a five second gap? Just when you thought the race had reached it’s drama quota.

oh Merc pitting Russell to steal the fastest lap off Perez. This is why I hate the “you only get the FL point of you’re in the Top 10″ bullshit bc???? The fastest lap is the fastest lap wherever you finish get over yourselves FIA and let whoever gets it have a point it is not that hard.

[Lap 53]: Verstappen following Lewis who’s following Seb. *yells*

AND YET there’s still damp patches on the track. madness.

[Lap 54]: Seb just drag Lewis away pleeeease

ngl this three car battle is a bit spicy

[Lap 55]: Just a handful of tenths between them. damn.

Lance in front of all of them, unbothered

[Lap 56]: 2 mins left.

Oh how I’ve missed watching Lewis and Seb race

aaaaand Lewis went wide and Verstappen got through. It was fun while it lasted 😭

[Lap 57]: Perez has pulled a 5 second gap over Leclerc. ffs.

The clock hit zero. Are we done??? Do we have an extra lap??? What I do know is that I’m sure my lap count is off.

“Vettel is defending brilliantly here” INJECT IT!!!!

[Final Lap]: Verstappen got past Seb. Rude, he broke the team by team formation.

And I was right, Perez did win! Charles P2, Sainz P3.

But most importantly DOUBLE ASTON POINTS!!!!! TEAM GREEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!

WELL. That was a race. Honestly it felt like two different races in one. Everything after the second (??) safety car was somewhat insane. Though everything before that? ehhhh. Though I’m not surprised that 2022 managed to give us a partially dull Singapore GP.

Solid 7 front wings out of 10. Next race - Japan!

#F1 Re watch #F1 2022 re watch #F1 Liveblog #Singapore GP edition

0 notes

slashrabbitbunny · 3 years

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Hey Sugar~ ❤️🐰❤️

#this took ages lmao #really happy with it tho #soz it’s not dbd #borderlands #borderlands 3 #mad moxxi #Moxxi #borderlands moxxi #❤️🐰❤️

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nerajaana · 3 years

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this fandom‘s constant yodeling about jon being the Daemon Blackfyre to Aegon's Daeron+his half dornish descendants inspired this crack.

book!Jon walking in to the Court in a Rhaegar Wins AU pulling a Brynden Rivers:

Lyanna+Jon everytime some powerhungry lord lowkey brings up some dumbass plan of usurping the rightful heir to the 7k (it happens atleast twice a month)

Meanwhile Viserys gearing up to go against his niece and nephew and declare himself as the next King of 7k because.....c'mon guys it's Aerys II bold of you to assume the continent and his family will ever know peace because of his mere existence in the timeline

Jon bringing over his maternal family to the Dornish+Tyrell party (bold of you to assume margaery wasn’t already betrothed to Aegon like pls unlike fanon theories like to speculate (looking at the cultists) Elia’s goddamned smart) to drag the bitch down

sorrynotsorry ✨

#i woke up and chose chaos #crack #will delete later #aerys kicked the bucket *peacefully*#after exactly 3 years. Could’ve happened sooner but oh well perfection takes time. Real sad that no one took care of the will alas #the mad king’s will and the “i’m equal to gods bow down to me you powerful af lords” attitude are viserys’ choice of weapons #it worked out as brilliantly as it was to be expected ofc #rhaella’s torn between absolute despair and the need to facepalm herself off this plane of existence #speaking of #rhaella-elia-lyanna chose to be the administration dept of the state and no one knows except for them three #not even varys. who got burnt to crisp because duh it’s aerys ii #littlefinger does nothing but die in my AUs soz #Ashara’s living it up in Braavos. No she’s not doing *anything* of import #Manderly’s just fat and happy and busy counting his silver what does he know of subterfuge?#barbrey’s just a bitter ol’ thing no she has no clue how Roose got offed and she ended up being the one in charge of Dreadfort #until her nephew’s - she truly loves domeric like her own really- of age #The North united af and no pesky lil shits to sell themselves out to the enemies oh wow they’re so weak would you look at that #dorne couldn’t field enough numbers and so what if the tyrells are on their side? They’ll turn to us soon enough…#lemme orchestrate some unnecessary violence. Tis the season of mass murder and bloodshed babey *a coat of gooold a coat of redddd*#lol he still dies on the commode why change such a beautiful scene #dance of dragons 2.0 is the name of the war i guess #robb x rhaenys is a thing in the bg lol they think they’re hot shit for sneaking about under everyone’s noses #but seriously they’re such utter noobs everyone from lordiest of the lords to the squires know what they’re upto🙄#Nymeria (Sand *and* the direwolf) are so embarrassed KIDDO I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS GURL WHA-#asoiaf au

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420pogpills · 3 years

Note

omg pls do a tattoo tour I feel like tattoos say so much about a person's story and I'd love to hear more about you if you are willing to share ❤️

omg you guys are so cute :') okayyyy tattoo tour is hereeeee:

this is my very first tattoo 😂😂😂 i was 16 and i really wanted a tattoo so i asked my parents if i could get one and they said absolutely not, and that i could do whatever i wanted once i turned 18.. so i decided to be a rebel and do it anyway so i stupidly went to a place that didn't even ask for id (disclaimer: DON'T do that lmao) and didn't even know what i wanted, i just wanted a tattoo 😂 so that was my first one and i don't like it anymore but it's like a big part of me and my story and the kind of person that i was and still am :') impulsive, usually going against the rules if i feel like it's what i genuinely want, live in the moment kind of person, and i do what i can to respond with kindness whenever and wherever

i got these in one go, and i don't mind the 'you're okay' one but i don't feel anything much for the paper plane anymore. for 'you're okay' the meaning is pretty obvious i just got it as a reminder for myself, and the paper plane was a little ode to my childhood because my brother and my cousin used to fold paper planes a lot, i'm fond of them :)

this is a tattoo for my grandad! he passed away in 2013 from cancer, and my mom was by his bedside for his last moments. he passed very peacefully, but right before he did he kept mumbling all these random things - we theorised he was probably hallucinating a bit, potentially recalling random memories throughout his life. she told me that the very last thing he said before he passed was this - 'nebijok' :) it means 'don't be afraid' in lithuanian! i think about it all the time, whether he was saying it to my grandma who will have to be alone now, or to my mom who was next to him, or to himself? but yeah this tattoo is in memory of him :)

i showed this one earlier - it's my arm garden :) i have clinical depression, and struggled for many years with self-harm. this arm suffered the most haha, so eventually i wanted to cover it up, and so i chose a bunch of flowers. at the bottom are black eyed susans, they represent survival, motivation, resilience, as well as justice :) next to it is a pansy, it symbolises nostalgia as they also remind me a lot of my childhood and my home country. the orange flowers, i'll be honest i do not remember what that one was for 😂 i believe it's a hydrangea, but not sure why i got it done in orange cause orange ones don't naturally exist.. i think i just did it for colour variation? not sure 😂😂 above are forget-me-nots, they represent faith and always keeping someone in your thoughts. above those is mistletoe, it symbolises love as well as healing. and the pink rose symbolises gratitude! this was a lengthy one that we had to do in 2 sessions, the first one taking 6 hours and the 2nd one taking 3 :)

the upside down triangle is my lil panda tattoo, they're my favourite animal and i've loved them aaaaaall my life so i knew i needed a panda tattoo at some point :') and above it is 'moonchild', to symbolise my star sign which is cancer :)

this is a tattoo i got in south korea by my favourite tattoo artist! all of her tattoos are so bright and colourful and i love her work SO much that as soon as i can go back to seoul, i'm going to her to get a whole sleeve done 😂 no meaning behind this one, it's just damn adorable, i just let her design whatever she wanted :')

these are portraits of my 2 dogs that are no longer with me. on the right is nike, she was a german shepherd and i got this tattoo also in south korea, and on the left is ezra, she was an east european shepherd and i got her done in london just 2 months ago :)

and lastly my most recent one, my friend tattooed me haha these are lyrics from one of my favourite band called the maine :) no specific meaning really, just thought it looked cool haha

AND THAT'S THE END OF THE TATTOO TOUR ❤️

#ask #anon #tattoos #not mcyt #tw depression mention #tw depression #tw self harm mention #soz this took me ages #i was out all day #what did i miss in the mcytverse #pinning it cause someone asked for it again so just gonna put it up here for a bit so it's visible <3

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justdrivee · 4 years

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purple & yellow daniel for @sunshine-ricciardo 💜💛

#i think i accidentally took out a chunk of his forehead in the yellow one soz #i have been waiting for ages to use this pictutre so thanks for enabling cara #i really really like the purple one so i hope you like it too #💜💛#xoxo #valentines doodles #driverdoodles #daniel ricciardo #3

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theasstour · 4 years

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B ASKS | PLAYLIST | INSPIRATION TAG | WATTPAD (OC)

It's been three years since your sister was murdered.

Three years since you were the last person to ever see her; three years of nightmares and guilt. Now you want to take control of your life again. Attending Helmond University in London, away from your hometown and everything you know, is supposed to be a way for you to start over. However, moving into a flat with your best friend and two strangers doesn't really go as planned. Not only do you end up with a horrible job, but uni is also much harder than you originally anticipated, and you already know one of the supposed strangers you’re going to be living with. No, not only do you know him, you took each other's virginities. Upon meeting Harry again, everything happens at once. Clues about your sister's murder start popping up and it leads you down a path you know will take you someplace you do not want to venture. It proved hard to keep your mind on uni and your sister's disappearance when Harry was immensely fitter than before. And even harder considering the deal he offered you...

FIRST YEAR

1. Beginnings. 2. Freshers. 3. Saudade. 4. The Ones Left Behind. 5. Above and Beyond. 6. Unexpectedly Expected. 7. The Deal. 8. Bad Idea. 9. First Session. 10. Asgard. 11. Newport.

SECOND YEAR

12. Hands of an Architect. 13. Mistakes to Make. 14. Start of the Downfall. 15. Complicated. 16. Princes Risborough. 17. I Am an Angel. 18. Rosa. 19. Lover. 20. It’s All Coming Back To Me. 21. Todo Carinho.

THIRD YEAR

22. Abandoned. 23. My Coconut Sweet. 24. Opening Up. 25. Latria Mou. 26. The Downfall. 27. Oncoming Storm. 28. Everything I Should’ve Told You. 29. Bloodsport. 30. Endings.

DISCLAIMERS: 1) If you are under the age of 18, please be aware that this work is not for you. It targets adult themes, written by an adult, for adults. This is nothing against you as a person, but this story will deal with alcohol, violence, sexual content, etc, in short, themes not ideal for minors to be delving into. 2) The main character will be British-Brazilian, meaning that parts of the fic will be heavily influenced by Brazilian culture. I am not Brazilian myself, though my incredible and beautiful Brazilian friends have helped and informed me through my research. However, I am Norwegian, so if you find yourself unsatisfied with the portrayal of the Brazilian culture in this work, please do tell me! 3) This is a thriller and will at times get very disturbing. If discussions on murder, the human brain and how it works, etc, is something you don't vibe with, read with caution! 4) Body image will be part of this work. Subjects such as fatphobia, growing up fat, etc, will be discussed in detail. Please read with caution if this might trigger you! 5) I'm not an architect, nor did I know much about the subject of architectural studies and practices before writing Bloodsport. If you do and find the reflections on architecture and architects in this work to be wrong or unsatisfying, I'd love for you to reach out! 6) Asking me to update more often than when states above will not happen. I have a life outside of writing that – shock! – is a bit more important. Any ask or comment requesting me to update more frequently will be deleted. 7) Soz for sounding rude, just fed up with entitled twat anons. 8) I feel like this needs to be said just in case: I'm not insane AIOJFEIOJG! Ily!

WARNINGS: This story features explicit language, sexual content, violence, alcohol, body image, abuse, murder, blood, and triggering topics (anxiety/depression etc.). Read at own risk if you are uncomfortable with any of those.

For any other questions regarding the storyline, characters, setting, etc, do not hesitate to drop by my askbox! Happy reading!

#harry styles #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #WOHOOOOOOO IM GENUINELY SO EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDD

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moneymasnn · 3 years

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i'll come back to you.|chapter 1 |mason mount

A story depicting the accuracy of a quote millie once was told by her nan, "if its meant to be its meant to be. And if it really is meant to be then no matter how long it takes, 2 souls that's are soulmates end back together again."

millie and mason <3

hi really quickly, this took me ages lol. But I haven really proof read it so soz for any mistakes! This made me cry while writing, I would suggest putting some sad songs on while reading (lights are on by tom Rosenthal is a current fave atm!) but yeh this is just chapter one so enjoy!!!!!!! feedback is always welcome as long as its not too mean lol, I don't really handle hate comments very well. Also how do you guys feel that I have y/n a name, I mean I know some of you hate it but it’s easier for me to write, I can remove it if u guys want me too. Xx

Masons been in love with millie since the day he met her (26 august 2014) they were 15 years old, and it's almost like that date was imprinted in his brain as one off the best days in his life.

She was introduced to him through a mutual friend Declan, mason has known Declan since they was 6 but when they was 15 they became closer than ever when they was neighbouring rooms at Chelsea football academy.

Millie had know Declan since they could remember, which to them is about 3 years old. Being actual neighbours the pair got the bus to school together everyday. Declan always saw millie as the closest thing he will ever have to a sister. The pair would get teased in secondary school for being a couple but they didn't really care because they were just best friends and they both knew it. Thats why Millies heart completely broke into two when the 13 year old boy had mentioned that if he worked hard enough he could go move to cobham and live in the academy. She was happy for him, obviously. But seeing him open that letter 2 years later implying that he wouldn't be getting the bus with her to school anymore she could have sworn she felt her heart strings tug a bit.

Little did she know Declans move into his dorm was a blessing in disguise as she ended up meeting the love of her life and the man she assumed she would marry.

Not long after the pair met they all quickly became a trio, millie spending all her time with the two crazy boys whom she called her best mates.

However unnoticed feelings lingered between millie and mason, especially when he has mentioned he fancied one of her friends. This is when millie released she had feelings for the boy, and the feelings defiantly weren't reciprocated, so she decided to distance herself from the boy spending less time with him and more with her girl mates from home, and not visiting dec every weekend like she had promised when he first moved away.

Not long after a group of them had decided to go to winter wonderland including millie a few of her friends, dec and a few of his football mates, mason obiously and the girl mason apparently 'fancied'.

Millie felt anxious going, it being the first time she had spoken to the boy in a few weeks and she knew he would have questions. He asked dec everyday about millie and why wasn't she answering the messages he sent to her little silver iPhone 4, and decs reply every time being "I dunno mate, she calls me back, maybe you pissed her off" mason racked is brain of things he could have said to her in the past few weeks that might have pissed her off, nothing coming to mind. But he did realised how much he missed the girls company, he missed her laugh, how she would get all stroppy when he would beat her a Mario cart and especially there late night convocations on Declan's cold floor at 3am when dec had fallen asleep, talking about everything and nothing. He missed simply talking to her, he always felt comfortable around her. And now he would find himself laying in bed thinking of all the things he loved about her. Love.. that word made his stomach turn. Thats when the boy realised he may have feelings for the girl, but she clearly didn't feel them back because she didn't even care to reply to his calls.

But when he saw her in her white coat , matching white gloves and hat with a bobble on the top, sniffing her red nose from the cold he released he most defiantly was in love with her.

He immediately went over to her.

"hi" he stifled out, hands in his pockets. She looked up at the boy as he felt like he was staring a hole into her, 'shit', she thought.

"heyyy, you" she tried to not be still and awkward, completely failing in the process, hitting his shoulder as the spoke.

mason looked down at his shoulder and back up at her 'why is she acting weird?' he thought.

"why haven't you been answering your phone?" mason questioned

"phones broken" she was lying, he knew this though, he knows she can't look people in the eye when they were lying and that's exactly what she was doing right now.

"but you been talking to dec?"

She looks back up at him, it bothered him he couldn't read the expression on her face, and can always tell what she's thinking, but right now he really had no idea.

"hey guys come on" shouted one of the friends of the group they were in, and with that she rushed of, itching to get out of masons presence.

After a long, slow and very awkward couple of hours at the park the group decided to go get some drinks.

Kate, the friend mason supposedly fancied pipped up "hey guys, there's a photo booth anyone want some photos?"

Millie didn't reply, you really didn't want to remember this night, sos a souvenir of it is the last thing you want. Mason didn't pipe up either, assuming he went in the photo booth with Kate.

After a few of your friends went in the photo booth millie felt a tug at her arm and had been pulled into the Photo Booth, when she looked up and saw mason with a bright smile on his face she felt her heart warm up.

His heart was racing as he placed £2 into the machine, he sat back and looked at millie, he just felt, comfortable with her, he couldn't explain it.

"Okay, so, I was thinking a smiley one, then a funny one and then the third one we can put the hats on" pointing at the accessories box in the corner of the both. But millie was just looking at him, tracing the freckles on his nose and cheeks. Her silence frightened him a bit, he looked intently in her eyes, the two having a so called moment before she snapped out of it, "ready?" she called.

"erm yeh" he pressed the button saying start, "okay so smiley one first"

The two pulled there biggest smiles, masons toothy grin melting her heart as the both took the photo

"err quick, funny one" mason panicked looked at millie, thinking of a pose.

"turn that way" she cupped his face so he wasn't acing he and facing the camera,

She dint know what came over her but she had a rush of confidence following masons confidence, fingers still gently places on his chin he kissed him on the cheek.

"pretend to be shocked" she mumbled into his cheek,

He already was shocked, an hour ago she wouldn't even look at him and now she was kissing his cheek.

When the macho took the photo she backed away, mason coughed giving himself a moment to recover, not that it was anything serious he just dint expect it. A kiss from millie on the cheek emit different now he knew he had feelings for the girl, it gave him awful butterfly's and made his stomach tuen, nit knowing why.

She then picked up the feathered pink and blue scarf, wrapping the pink one about masons neck then wrapping the blue one around her own.

They took the third photo, giggling as the pull of of there funny faces looking at ecahother.

Staing into her eyes he realised he did love her, and he wanted to kiss her. But there only 16 there no supposed to know that love is. But mason was sure he loved her.

So, his eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips and he leaned in, cupping her face in his hands almost like she had done to him moments ago and dived in to kiss her lips.

Surprised she kissed back. slow, simple and passionate is how she would have described, he would have just said it was perfect. Then the two pulled out of the kiss.

"I'm- im sorry" mason started to panic,

She shut him up with a peck to his lips, letting him know she liked the kiss, grinning at the boy.

"lets erm, lets see the photos. As the pair waited outside in the cold as the machine printed there pictures, looking at them masons heart was doing twirls as he realised there was a 4th picture and it was their first kiss. He then tucked the photos safely in his back pocket keeping them safe knowing there were his favourite pictures in the world.

And the rest after that was history, the pair stared dating not long after, millie started her YouTube channel quickly gaining subscribers and befriending other English youtubers and mason thrived in football.

The pair were now 18, they have been dating for 2 years and were completely involve and happy, that was until it happened.

it all starred when millie was waiting for mase in the stands a Chelsea youth stadium, he was talking to some fancy bloke in a suit and tie after a match. she could see mason was nervous, even from where she was standing, she knew because I know him better than she knew herself. The way his was fiddling with his fingers behind his back, his unconfidant laugh. She was so proud of him, seeing how his face lit up while talking to the fancy man knowing when he comes back over he would have some good news to share.

"so? what did he want" asked masons mum and she stood almost anxious for her son, but a wide grin on her face almost a replicate of the one plastered on her sons face.

"Me. Me, he wanted me mum, he offered me a year loan at a genuine club" said mase, almost shocked at his own words.

"oh my god mason" his mum smothered him with a loving hug, even though he would often find his mums public show of affection rather embracing, this time he hugged her back tighter than usual as tears welled up in his eyes.

She held eye contact the whole time he was hugging his mum, happy for him, however she couldn't help but sense some sadness in masons eyes. As he pulled away from his mum he stood back with his hands in his pockets, ready to shut down all the congratulations.

"what's up mate?" asked his dad patting his back.

"he's just shocked, that all" his mum waves her hands in Tonys face. "so where did u get offered baby?" his mum was teary but managed to suck them back, avoiding embarrassing her son.

Millie peeped forward "so? where u of to mr professional baller" giggling and looking at her boyfriend. She felt a pit form in her stomach at her boyfriends quietness.

"derby" he murmurs, he's not holding eye contact with you anymore.

"wait derby up the road? mase what's the problem" said his mum confused at masons silence.

You knew then, why he was so silent.

"oh mason, this is er a good thing, its an opportunity of a life time mate" says masons dad at the realisation of the problem.

"im not following boys, Tony what are you on about? masey? mason Tony mount can you answer me." says masons mum

no reply.

"okay, so what, its a shit team I suppose. Is that right? what's the problem can someone explain please?" she was panicking now looking back an forth from the three infant of her.

Millie stayed silent though.

"derby county mum" says mason.

She just looks at him, just as confused as before.

"well, where is that?" she questions

" Amsterdam, mum"

He just had to say it out loud, the realisation pangs in your chest. He's leaving, mason mum lets them tears drop she's tried so desperately to hold back.

"no. no no no. you're to young, you're only eighteen mason. like fuck you're going to Amsterdam.

"Debbie, debs" says Tony, trying to clam her down.

She was rambling now, crying too. Masons dad telling her to calm down and explaining how great of an opportunity this is, and how well it's going to benefit him in the future of his career.

But while all that was going on, all u could focus your eyes on were masons sad ones. You both stood, quiet, almost as though you were speechless.

After that was a blur, you left the stadium and walked to the car in silence with mason and his mum and dad, they dropped you both off at masons shitty little apartment in cobham. Mason said goodbye to his mum and for her to not worry and think about it as he hasn't singed anything yet and he isn't even sure he wants to go.

when you both walked in through the door, you was still silent until mason finally speaks up.

"Mills, I don't have to go. You know, yeh, I think ill stay here"

"what?" you stare at him almost angry and confused. is he being serious right now?

"Mason, name me one reason why you shouldn't go?"

Without a hesitation the boy replies "you."

"oh come on, I'm not a good enough reason mason." you laugh.

"yes you are. And stop calling me mason, I don't like it." referring to you always calling him 'mase'.

"no, I'm not. Like your dad said, this is extremely beneficial for your career, and I will not be the reason you don't go far in life mason."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean." you take a deep breath, you turn to face him, staring back into them dark brown eyes you will always love. Both preparing for what you know is going to happen.

"if I'm your only reason not to go, then I won't be here if you stay"

"what? what are you saying? You're not breaking u-, no. Stop it Millie. I'm not having this convocation. The season doesn't start till next month ill figure something out."

"mason."

"NO" he shouts, anger laced within his voice, however you know that tone, he's covering up that he's hurt and scared.

"mase. Please don't make this difficult" you're gentle with your words, you don't want to upset him but you both need to have this out.

A single tear leaving your face, you place your hand on masons cheek, his eyes red and puffy.

"This is what we are gonna do, okay"

He shakes his head not wanting to hear what you have to say, and not wanting his tears to spill from his eyes. He mumblers a few 'no's' he really docent want to hear what you have to say.

"your going to take that offer tomorrow-"

"millie"

"no mason listen, you're taking the offer because if you don't, I won't be here as the reason you stayed. I'm not a good enough reason for you to stay, don't be stupid .

"but- but you are. Millie please. I love you" he's crying now.

"we will be fine." you feel like a knifes been dragged down your chest hearing him say he loves you.

"I love you." he says it again.

You let out a long breath, "its a year, were will be fine, okay? ill start uni, your be off kicking arse in Amsterdam, getting goals and playing time. And im just going to focus on this YouTube thing"

You giggle a little thinking of the future, you just wanted to see him smile.

"and, if things work out, I'll be here when you get back. Mase, I promise you, ill still be here, I promise okay."

"your breaking up with me arnt you?"

"mase"

"why can't we long distance it?"

"what if you like it there? what if you stay longer than a year?"

Theres that silence again.

"promise you wait for me?"

" I promise I will mase."

Waving him off at the airport was a day she dreaded, mason offered for her to come with him and his dad and move him in and get him settled but she knew 1, it would be harder to say goodbye and 2, she didn't think she would ever come home if she went with him.

Standing outside terminal 3 she was standing back with dec as masons mum checks he has got everything.

Mason waddles over to the pair, failing to make eye contact with millie, not wanting her to see the tears burning through his eyes.

Dec and mason say their goodbyes giving each other a quick bro hug, dec mentioning that when he's on break he will come visit mason for a week.

Until eventually it was your turn.

Mason just embraces you in a long tight hug, the sight of you too making his mum cry and even dec tear up a little bit too. But you guys had already let the tears fall, as you sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

When you pull back and look at each other he gently kisses your forehead, still refusing to look in your eyes. "there's erm, some stuff, in this bag, stuff I though you might want."

You grab the bag a smile appearing on you face as you see your favourite hoodie of masons on the top.

"anything you don't want you can just give to my mum I guess.."

You just sniffle and look back up at mason. "thanks mase"

"your gonna miss your flight"

He now finally makes eye concat with you, you notice the glossiness in his eyes, "don't forget me when your some big time famous YouTuber, yeh?"

"Don't forget me when your some famous footballer known for scoring all the goals"

He giggles telling you to shut up.

"right then,"

He turns to his dad making sure he's got everything, saying another good bye to his mum, you and dec, and walking off into the terminal.And with that you got back in the car with dec and broke down in more sobs, dec rubbing your back to make sure your okay, but you wasn't ever going to be okay when the boy you love is in a different county...n

And with that you got back in the car with dec and broke down in more sobs, dec rubbing your back to make sure your okay, but you wasn't ever going to be okay when the boy you love is in a different county...

find part 2 here:

https://mymoneymase.tumblr.com/post/667288067831382016/ill-come-back-to-you-chapter-2-mason-mount

#mason mount #football #crying in the club #this took hours to write #mase #money mase #cute #chapter 1

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