#for irl locations... honestly there’s only one i can think of that occurs with any regularity

[orcelito]

I think one of the most fascinating things about my dreams is the fact that there are reoccurring locations in the dreams.

Not like places I know in real life, though there are a few of them that occur somewhat regularly. But places my mind just... fabricated, that it decides to go back to.

I have an abandoned house with long corridors that has been the source of several creepy dreams. I have a weird... tower of sorts, in a city, that has been the location of both a dinosaur attack and an anime convention (in different dreams). I have a pseudo-Boston, where I know it’s Boston (in the way that dreams are), but none of the buildings are actually ones in Boston... but I’ve been to these made up buildings several times, in a variety of dreams.

There are more, but these r just examples. It’s weird to experience a dream and realize upon waking that I had been there before. Especially when they are dramatically different dreams, but for some reason taking place in the same location.

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[dorothydelgadillo]

How We Build Company Culture as a Remote Team

Skillcrush is a completely distributed company, meaning that we have no central office and are located all over the world, spanning languages, continents, and timezones. With the exception of a few clusters (several of us live in New York City and we have a bustling Florida contingent), most of rarely see each other IRL—if ever. The entirety of the Skillcrush team has never physically been in one place together, leaving us to guess at each other’s heights. Instead, we do everything digitally, from meetings over Google Hangouts to daily chatter on Hipchat.

You might think that working in your house or coworking space—far away from your coworkers—is lonely. In fact, we recently talked about fighting isolation as a remote team on the first episode of our podcast, Hit Refresh. In the episode, our producer Haele commented that most of our institutional solutions for building culture on the team fall to me, our Director of Operations.

I’m embarrassed to admit that the thought had never really occurred to me. At least. . . not really. There are times where I feel like the team mom—the one who makes sure everyone gets a gif party on their birthday—but, honestly, I think that has less to do with my job and more to do with my personality. So the episode got me thinking about culture-building and how it really has to be a team effort instead of a top-down initiative instituted by managers or executives.

I often encounter skepticism from people who assume we couldn’t possibly know each other the way co-located teams do, and that a bland company culture must be the price we pay for flexibility. But we are anything but boring! In fact, in a recent anonymous survey, the five words most used by our team to describe our culture were fun, friendly, empowering, supportive, and welcoming.

On a day-to-day basis, we make a point to talk about (and celebrate!) things other than work, and to let team members take the lead on team-building activities. We chat about our weekends, our kids, and our lives just like any other coworkers. We have real friendships over our computer screens—both in one-on-one chats and in group settings.

Just as critical to our daily interactions are the special events and clubs we make happen to foster our company culture and relationships. Here’s a look at some of the things you might recognize from your own office, just moved online.

Baby Showers

Ain’t no Skillcrush baby shower complete without swag for the little ones! We use iron-ons to make onesies for the newborn and t-shirts for any older siblings.

We’re experiencing a bit of a baby boom here at Skillcrush and could not be more excited about it. A sampling of responses to a recent baby announcement in our team chat include: “OMG WE HAZ BABY!!!,” “he’s so cute i’m DYING,” “STAP IT RIGHT NOW HE IS PERFECT,” and “omg get that baby in a skillcrush onesie omg omg.”

To give us an outlet for our excitement and, you know, support the new parents and all that, we started hosting baby showers to send folks off on parental leave with lots of fanfare.

Here’s how it works: We schedule a video call that works for as many team members as possible, and one team member is designated as the host. The host finds a local bakery to deliver treats to the parent-to-be the day of the shower, sends a few gifts, and plans a simple game for the guests to play. Valerie, our Customer Support Specialist, was a recent host and she had us submit baby pictures that she turned into a funny guessing game.

We watch the parent open their goodies, we chat about the baby, and those of us who are parents share encouraging words. It’s a casual, easy way to support new parents and celebrate as a team, and it’s one of my favorite Skillcrush traditions.

Happy Hours

We can’t take departing team members out for a drink on their last day of work, but we can throw them a remote “happy hour” to wish them well before they go.

These thirty-minute Google Hangouts turn a sad thing—saying goodbye to a teammate—into a celebration, so we throw them for departing team members whenever possible. The whole team is invited and everyone is encouraged to bring “whatever drink or snack makes you happy, given your personal preferences and/or time zone.” There’s no agenda, just casual chit chat about the team member’s next adventure.

I often tell our students, “once a Skillcrusher, always a Skillcrusher,” because we don’t disappear when they’re done with their coursework. Once they’re in our community, they’re in it, and I truly believe this extends to our team, too. Happy Hours are our way of reminding them that leaving doesn’t actually mean saying goodbye and that they’re stuck with us forever.

Book Clubs

We started the first Skillcrush Book Club almost three years ago and, while that one never made it beyond book one, at least three others are alive and well.

Our oldest club is no ordinary book club—it’s “Superhero Instructor Training” for the folks on our Class Management and Curriculum teams, and it started as a way to discuss books we felt would help us better support students. Topics have since ranged from mentorship and online learning to feminist fight clubs.

The Marketing team, on the other hand, uses their book club to read everything from work-related books to young adult romance novels. (I’m told the latter was an accident but who knows with that group.)

And then there’s Reading Death Match, a book club only in the loosest sense of the term. This cross-team group of hellions start new books at random intervals and compete in a “winner take all” challenge to see who can finish first. There is no discussion of the actual book, just a chat room where participants regularly update each other on their progress, taunt, tease, and liberally use exclamation points. 

Despite the chat room topic (which simply reads, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”), we keep it pretty civil . . . most of the time.

Movie Nights

A Skillcrush movie night in which we broke with tradition and watched Spy instead of a musical.

Since movie nights are a larger time commitment, and one of the few events hosted outside of “working hours,” we do them more sparingly—but that makes them all the more special!

If you’re wondering exactly how we manage to watch movies together from thousands of miles away, let me introduce you to a tool called Rabbit. It’s similar to a Google Hangouts, except you can login into a number of streaming services (Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc.) and stream a movie in the main window. This allows a group to watch the same movie simultaneously, while still being able to see a film strip of everyone below, and chat with everyone in the call.

We watched Pitch Perfect for our first movie night, after our “ballot box” was illegally stuffed. (Ahem, you know who you are.) It turns out that remote movie nights are extra fun when you can see your coworkers singing and dancing along to the movie. Thankfully, everyone comes with their very own mute button! #sorrynotsorry

Holiday Gifts

One of our company values is lifelong learning and we’re always looking for ways to support team members in this. (We even have an Educational Stipend that allows us to get financial support for learning anything we want!) But before we had that, we had an Instructor who suggested we let team members pick their choice of book as a holiday gift.

Three years later, the Instructor has since moved on to a super awesome job, but the tradition she started lives on. Every December, I make a short Google Form and team members submit a book, mailing address, and their preference for an ebook or physical copy. Then we use Amazon Prime to play Santa!

It usually ends up being an equal split of work-related and totally unrelated books. This year, our Director of Curriculum Chelsea submitted a link to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, along with the comment, “YEAH, YOU READ THAT RIGHT.” (You do you, Chelsea.)

Pick-Me-Ups

Ann: Lead Dev Instructor, long-distance pancake sender, and part-time Lambchop.

As remote workers, we can’t swing by a coworker’s desk with an extra cup of coffee when we see them having a rough day, but we can find other ways to be there for them in good times and in bad.

Recently, a pregnant team member had a rough couple of weeks. The hits just kept on coming and she made a joke in HipChat that she could really use a drink. An amateur mixologist on the team volunteered to surprise her with a homemade mocktail kit! And when I broke my foot and ran out of caffeine, Ann, our Lead Web Development Instructor pulled up GrubHub from her home outside of Montreal and had a local restaurant deliver pancakes and coffee to my Chicago apartment. To this day, it’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

And while those are more elaborate examples, we’ve found small gestures go a long way too—things like giving another coworker a well-deserved shout out during an all-team meeting, or using your kid’s puppet to brighten a coworker’s day.

The Class Management team celebrating Halloween during their daily check-in.

Of course, remote work isn’t all friendship bracelets and Amazon Prime packages. As our CEO, Adda Birnir, put it on our podcast, “We didn’t find utopia. We found a really good thing, but it’s imperfect.”

There aren’t a lot of established best practices for remote teams, and we can’t always find people with experience solving the problems we’re trying to solve. That means lots of trial and error, and sometimes those errors are rough.

But good company culture isn’t just about giving gifts and throwing parties. It’s about actually being “fun, empowering, friendly, supportive, and welcoming” (all day, every day), and course-correcting when someone points out an action or behavior that isn’t inline with those values.

And those are things we can all do—no matter how much distance there is between me and me coworker’s desk. So when folks express doubt that we can really match an in-person culture, I say: Anything you can do, we can do remotely.

from Web Developers World https://skillcrush.com/2018/03/01/build-work-culture-remote-team/

[ohmgsh0rty]

you appeared in my dream last night (3/29)

It’s been awhile, but it didn’t surprise me since you’ve entered my consciousness on and off recently anyway. it was bound to appear subconsciously sometime.

I waited for my train to arrive. I’m not sure where exactly, but the location was a combination of the metra and CTA and I guess I was waiting for the purple line. Relevant, I guess, (ha) because if I remember correctly that was one of your favorite colors. I sat waiting and you appeared in the seat next to me suddenly. You made it clear you needed to talk to me about something important. Luckily, the train was due and I had to go to my platform. It was a relief to dodge whatever conversation you wanted to have with me. For some reason I was with liz briefly (probably because she was the last one I talked to about you) and she and I ran across some tracks (looked like the terminal for the metra which is why I’m saying it was a combo) in order to get on. Unfortunately, we were on the wrong side of the doors so we had to turn around. I remember thinking there wasn’t a way to avoid the conversation now and I obviously had no choice but to go back and wait again for the next train to arrive. When I returned, you were where I left you. I don’t remember if you made a remark about me returning.. it wouldn’t surprise me if you did. You then told me why you needed to talk with me. You asked me why I was posting things about love. I was very confused at why you would ask that.. even moreso because I thought you weren’t friends with me on social media anymore.. I *deleted* you, remember? out of nowhere your girlfriend appeared with all these printed papers of evidence on my Facebook posts. She pointed out three that I can remember. One was about the song “God Only Knows” and it is relevant to reality because that post was made as part of a 30 Day Music Challenge. I made sure I explained that to her. Not sure if she believed me and she moved onto the next one. It was an attack about her (and she struggled to read what I said implying she was hurt about it) but it was another song by The National (not sure which song though so it doesn’t make any sense but it was probably about heartache or something). I explained to her that The National had sad songs and that they’re a relatively melancholy band (not in those exact words but close) and she moved on. The last one was about A Bug’s Life? THAT was when I lost it. I yelled at her about what they were doing. I yelled at her and told her that it’s not like I’m wishing to be like the fictional couple in the movie (it was a lot meaner but I don’t remember verbatim). Then I woke up. Not sure where you were at that point, but I guess I was done.

I can see the connections in some places on how I’m feeling irl (I’m obviously a believer in dreams having some sort of subconscious meaning damn you freud). I haven’t posted about love or longing for love in a lonngg time if at all, but I know I’m ready for something new in reality. He confronted me because he was an old love of mine (sadly) and I’ve been trying my hardest to finally let go of the damage done by him. In the beginning, I avoided his confrontation because I’ve also avoided confrontation in reality about letting go. I guess I really should have done so when given the chance over a year ago but that life. The reason why I missed the train and had to go back is because my subconscious wasn’t letting me forget about dodging that bullet. In my dream I was disappointed and I guess in reality I’m more or less disappointed in that missed opportunity. Regardless, there are legitimate connections here and it irritates me that it can’t be resolved. Only in my dreams I guess. And I guess I have to do that “release” journal activity at some point because that’s the only way to alter this mentality. As for his girlfriend’s marvelous (sarcasm) appearance, we’ve had beef alll throughout their relationship so it does not surprise me in the slightest that she made a guest appearance. She was the mediator for the confrontation because in reality, she always did the digging on my Facebook and ratted me out to him. There was ONE instance where I dissed her and his haircut so maybe that struggle there was taking place of how she actually reacted. I guess what happened in my dream was the closest thing to it I guess. I never yelled at her irl before so that honestly was refreshing. I’m usually not like that either, so again my subconscious was defending myself for myself (oh hey thanks). I didn’t get the opportunity to write the dream down until about 12+ hours later but I still remember it fairly vividly. I am thankful it didn’t effect my day or affect me throughout the day (although I was aching to write it down when I thought about it). i’m going to continue to write down my dreams when he appears in them and reflect upon them when the y occur to gain insight. It’s a step in the right direction of moving forward.. if it’s not, then idk what I’m gonna do.