#for the record if you ever find something kind of rancid in my fics

[muffinlance]

Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???

Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:

Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.

"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.

None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.

An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:

I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it

I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.

Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”

TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.

[aesoterik]

just hmu with that whole love section for antonio/deacon pls i need it!!!!!!!

oh no not the worst boys.... their vibes are rancid..... bromance 4 the ages...

Who said “I love you” first? 

Antonio came close to saying it a few times, but he knew that if he ever did Deacon would head for the hills in record speed, so even though they both cared about each other a lot, they never actually said “I love you.” 

What are their primary love languages?

I struggled with this one! I would say for Deacon it’s acts of service, doing something for Antonio, this is especially prevalent when Antonio was getting back on his feet after coming back from the Institute (a case of too much, too late, unfortunately). For Antonio, it’s definitely quality time! He loves spending as much time as possible with the person he loves, and would never leave their side if he had it his way!

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Barely ever, PDA was never on the table, which ended up making Antonio pretty upset. When they managed to find somewhere nice and quiet, away from prying eyes, Antonio wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off Deacon. Wandering around with a dog makes a guy pretty touch starved!

What are their favourite things to do together?

God, all sorts of dumb shit. Running missions for the Railroad is a nice combination of exhilarating and fucking terrifying, but sometimes just having someone to talk to is nice. Deacon knows a fair bit about Old World media, so they talk about that until Antonio gets too nostalgic. They also have dumb competitions about who is the better sniper, as well as who can pick locks faster. 

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Deacon was better at being a good shoulder to cry on. He’s seen people break down so much that he’s gotten pretty good at handling it. Antonio does his best, but it was so rare that Deacon would ever break in front of him that he never really got good at it.

Who’s more protective?

100% Deacon. To a fault. To the point it got way too much. When a guy has lost everything so many times, and has had nothing for so long, he tends to hold on to what he has so tightly it breaks.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

If they were in a more public place, definitely verbal affection. Deacon would whisper something that would make Antonio blush, and he then had to try to explain to whoever he was talking to that “No! Everything’s alright, do go on!” It became a bit of a game for Deacon. In private however, they shut up and showed things in a more physical way.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

I have a mini-playlist that goes for my little fic series about them! In-universe (sort of, it’s not on the radio in Fallout 4 but shh) It’s a Sin to Tell a Lie by the Ink Spots fits them pretty well, but in general I think my favourite song for them is Drawn to the Blood by Sufjan Stevens! (I went back through and now I can’t actually pick a favourite but A Pearl by Mitski is also so good for them!)

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Deacon, for Antonio: Special Agent Whisper (jokingly), Boss (which Antonio hates), Ant (for serious/intimate times) 

Antonio, for Deacon: Deek (as a term of endearment), Hon (said once, as an accident, when asking Deacon to pass him his pack in camp. Deacon will never let him forget it. Ever.)

ship questions!