#found this while going through my drafts.. yeah i'll release it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ana-benn · 3 years

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Chubbs

Warnings: Jamie Benn, male insecurities manifesting as possessiveness, self-body shaming, it'll probably be a bit smutty....

A companion piece to Insecure.

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There was something amiss with your husband. You didn't know exactly what that was, but you only had a few more weeks until training camp so you hoped it would be a brief thing. That had been a vain hope after two weeks if him sulking through the house. Always grabbing a kid and finding an excuse to be elsewhere. If you had to identify it you could guess maybe he felt a little neglected this summer.

First you'd had family around, celebrating birthdays and what not, then you'd had to deal with a fussy teething baby and a jealous toddler, now Tyler had moved in temporarily because he was having his floors replaced. Something about a burst water heater. It was a far cry from a few years ago when you and Jamie would've gone traveling, and hanging out with friends. He was finally dealing with the family-man lifestyle and you could only figure he wasn't loving where it left him sometimes.

To be honest you didn't always love it either. You missed just picking up and going to watch him play in the middle of a long road trip, but pouting about not getting quality time was a bit much. It was just where you were with two little kids, and responsibilities to friends and family. Not to mention it had killed your sex life the last few weeks.

You decided naptime would be the perfect time to talk to Jamie, so after putting the boys down for their nap, and making sure Tyler had gone home to check in on the progress, you slipped into a bikini and went to meet Jamie poolside. You knew that's where he would be, since that's where you'd left him after Wyatt's swim lesson. He'd stayed outside reading when you'd taken the boys upstairs for nap time. It was a routine when he was home that he handled sleep schedules, but he'd let you sleep in this morning managing breakfast solo so you took the nap shift.

"Hey mister, can I join you?" You joked sitting next to him on a lounger.

"Huh, yeah of course," he mumbled not really looking up from his phone.

You began applying sun tan lotion, hoping the movement would get him to look at you, but when it didn't you nudged him with the bottle, "Babe, help me with my back?"

He looked almost wary as he took the bottle, and helped put lotion on your back. You let out a soft moan at the feel of the cool lotion, mixed with his rough hands. You felt him falter, before he quickly finished and went back to his phone.

You rolled your eyes at that, "What are you doing, Jame?"

"Just reading some stuff the trainers sent over," he said. "Wanna get ready for training camp."

About that time Tyler showed up, pulling his shirt off and plopped down on the other side of Jamie, "Mom, Dad I'm home!"

You laughed, but didn't miss the slight eye roll from your husband. You filed that information away, as Tyler started going into a dialogue about how his repairs were going. Somewhere in that Jamie just stood up and walked inside.

"Sorry Tyler, he's usually a much better host," you apologized watching your husband's retreating back.

"Eh, I get it I'm probably overstaying my welcome. I can get a hotel, so long as your good with watching the dogs. I don't think they'll be allowed," he mused.

"Nonsense, I'm going to go talk to him. You're not going anywhere, we said you could stay until your house was livable and we meant it," you scolded. "Just...maybe, if you hear the baby could you grab him?" You waited for his nod before leaving the baby monitor with him and going in search of Jamie.

You found him in your bedroom, laying back on the bed with his arm over his eyes. You took him in for a moment before shutting the door quietly behind you. When Jamie didn't move you decided to just dive right in.

You moved next to him and sat on the edge of the bed, "What's going on Jamie?" You asked softly.

"Nothing, just.... Nevermind it's nothing," he sighed out.

"You just walked away from your best friend mid-conversation, I don't think that's nothing," you pressed gently.

"If his feelings matter so damn much why don't you go out there with him. You're not usually his type, but he's been known to make exceptions," Jamie spit out bitterly.

"Okay, what the fuck Jamie!"

The silence that followed had you going to your dresser, pulling on a pair of shorts and a tank top, "You wanna sit here and sulk, fine! But don't accuse me of that, we both know that's not the kind of girl I am." Before you could reach the door he was on you, pulling your small frame into his body.

"No, then what kind of girl are you?" He mumbled into your neck before move up to kiss you roughly. You denied him entrance for a moment, but a rough nip caused you to gasp allowing him in.

"I asked you a question baby," he growled out as he let you up for air. Pushing you back onto the bed with softer hands than his tone should've allowed.

"I....I'm," you're response was cut off by Jamie pushing your shirt off to reveal your stomach, finally back to it's pre-baby flatness, peppering you with tender kissed mixed with sharp nips along your skin. You whimpered as he used the time to push the shorts off your body as well, pushing your bikini bottoms to the side and running a finger up your slit.

"Come on sweetheart, you can do it," he mocked lightly.

"Jamie, please," you cried out. The absence of his body over yours for weeks mixed with his teasing touches leaving you overwhelmed.

"Tell me what kind of girl you are, and I'll get you what you want," he compromised.

"I'm your girl," you spit out, as he plunged a finger in your core.

"You are, you're my girl baby, don't forget that," he praised. "Now you're going to cum for me, just like this and then I'm going to fuck you right here."

He kept thrusting his fingers into you, adding in a thumb rubbing against you clit, "Eyes on me." He commanded as you fell apart against his fingers.

You barely had time to gather yourself before he had his cock inside of you. You groaned at the feeling of him sliding home, as he leaned into you neck releasing a small groan of his own. After a couple of testing thrusts into you he resurfaced.

"That's my girl," he grunted out. "Feel how well you fit around my cock? This pussy was made for me."

You moaned out at his words, only able to lift your hips to meet his thrusts. "Say it," he commanded with a sharp thrust.

"M...my pussy was made for you," you whimpered out.

"Whose girl are you?" His voice was demanding and rough.

"Your's!" You were rewarded with a rough thrust of his hips, encouraging you.

"I'm all yours Jamie," you whispered in his ear. "No one else gets to touch me like this. No one else gets to fuck me."

His hips never stopped after that as he shoved you over the edge, crying out as you came around him. He pounded you through your orgasm and buried his rough, bearded face into your neck. His nips and sucking would mean a dark hickey, but you couldn't care in that moment. His fingers found your nub again as he worked you up to bring you over the edge one more time before he painted your walls with thick ropes of cum.

You stayed like that for a little while. Just stroking his hair as he kissed and nipped at your skin, "You ready to talk about it?" You asked.

Jamie sighed readjusting so you were next to him, his arm around your waist, "You know how I didn't really start working out until I got drafted? I made it to the stars and a few of this guy's would chirp me about being a little chubby. Whatever it was just guy stuff, I started working out and I got a nickname. I never really felt insecure about it, until Tyler started walking around my damn house shirtless. All I could think about was that every girl seems to prefer that and I don't compare. Isn't that just pathetic? I'm jealous like a thirteen year old girl," he confessed.

"I don't prefer that," you replied. "I prefer the guy who is home to help with the kids, and always down for mexican food," You moved to straddle him. "I like that you don't spend hours a day at the gym, so you can come home and read to the boys. I like that you give the best warm hugs, and you always know when I need to cuddle. I love you Jamie Benn, not some hyper-sexualized professional athlete."

He kissed you at that, and grinned, "Didn't you make me fuck you in full gear once?"

"Shhhh," you pressed your fingers to his lips. "We're not going to talk about that."

"Fine then we're going swimming, it's hot as hell," he laughed pulling you downstairs, insecurities forgotten. You grinned at him as you just enjoyed his energy.

It was good to have your husband back.

#jamie benn #oh captain my captain #dallas stars #hockey #nhl #dallas hockey #dallas sports #stars dallas #it's me I've hyper-sexualized him #i'm not sorry #jamie benn appreciation day #jamie benn x reader #possessive jamie benn #jamie benn fanfic #jamie benn smut

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

All You Had To Do Was Stay

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 5

"They paid the price"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 4,539

Warnings: angst, Hydra, some blood, Loki being an asshole

A/N: what can you expect from track 5 other than angst?

A/N: a big thank you to @chrissquares for the amazing dividers! and @nacho-bucky for beta reading and putting up with me!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

song on Spotify and YouTube

"Soon we'll be landing in another Hydra base." Steve gathered everyone then.

"Okay, Thor you will go with Natasha; Clint you're with Loki; Bucky you will be with Y/N." he hasn't talked to you since that midnight talk. You couldn't blame him, not completely.

The team separated inside the base, eyes searching for the unusual weapons. Lately the activities of Hydra have risen more and more. Their kills were certainly not of normal weapons, the wounds weren't all fatal but the innocents were killed nonetheless.

"We're on the east wing, Steve. According to the tech Bruce gave us, there's some activity where we are heading."

You and Bucky kept your guns up and at three you burst into the room. But it was empty to your surprise. Cautiously, you stepped inside and examined what you saw in there. Grenades and various arsenals were placed inside boxes, and some were outside on tables taken apart with tools besides them.

"Don't touch them, last time I did it exploded in my face."

"I'm not as stupid as you are, Y/N." maybe you could shoot him just to annoy him, you thought.

"Ah, so you found some of our weapons," the voice startled you. "Nice to see you again, Soldat."

Turning around with your weapons, you attempted to shoot the guys that walked in. The scientist in the middle was unarmed, or so you thought. The agents spread out, and at some point they overpowered you because the next thing you knew, your gun was nowhere to be seen, and your arms were pinned behind your back as the guy in front of you got closer.

You couldn't let him do that, now could you? You locked eyes with him until he got hazy and fell to the ground shaking. Knocking your head against the guy that was holding you back, giving you just enough view of him to send him off to the darkest place in his head, all the while you didn't notice the scientist watching you. When he fell to the floor, the scientist sent all the other guys over from Bucky to you, caging you in, you felt yourself being dragged out of the room, yelling for Bucky who was there with only a few agents and the scientists.

Bucky hurried for you but now he could see the strange weapon in the scientist's hand. It looked like a sword, with a gem at the bottom. He fought the scientist and anyone around him but then he felt a cutting wound where the blade pierced through his stomach.

"Sorry this had to end this way, Soldat." The scientist laughed and Bucky fell to the floor with a shriek.

You finally managed to break free from the guys holding you down. Fighting them off one by one, until you managed to get them all to fall down in pain, then you went on to Bucky.

You saw him on the ground bleeding, not even caring about the guys in the room as you fell next to him.

"We need backup, Bucky is down!" you yelled to the comms. You tried to stop the bleeding- it was faster than it should be for a supersoldier.

"This doesn't feel right Y/N, run."

"No." A guy went for you, and you noticed he was averting his gaze from you, but you didn't let it affect you, you surged forward from Bucky and tackled him down and sent him to sleep.

Then you went for the scientist which still held the weapon, now closed back in its place, as he looked at you amused.

"What did you do to him?" you yelled more than asked. Soon enough you heard footsteps and to your relief Bucky was now with Thor and Steve.

Loki looked at the soldier on the ground and then at the weapon he recognized. Worried, he yelled at you.

"Y/N stay in this room, do not leave!" he went forward with his daggers, cut through the agents until he got to the doctor who was trying to run. Catching him and knocking him out, he took away the old weapon. Then he left him there, not caring about him anymore.

Holding the delicate weapon, he went back to the fallen soldier who was still bleeding out.

The god crouched down next to him and a worried Steve and he pulled out the gem at the hilt of the sword, putting it over Bucky's wound. The soldier sighed in relief at the contact, and Loki muttered a quick incantation which helped the soldier heal.

The blonde looked frightened at his friend, who only nodded to Loki in thanks.

The scientist was long gone.

•

He started noticing the subtle change at lunch that day.

Thor had dragged him back to eat with all the others when he insisted on going back to his books. The others weren't as bothered with him today when he sat next to you, each minding their own business. Occasional loud conversations started which he stayed out of until he caught onto one conversation.

"I remember the first time I held a bow and arrow." Clint said before being shot off.

"Nah not interesting Katniss, I think my origin story is way better, I was in a cave!"

The table caught onto the conversation and the roars began.

"I got bitten by a spider!" Peter looked over at Tony. "That's pretty cool, right Mr. Stark?"

"Yeah kid, that is badass." Tony ruffled the kid's head.

"I'm a Russian spy, that's more badass!" Natasha quipped.

"The kid can lift an elephant and stop a vibranium arm!" Bucky chuckled.

"I was holding back, I wasn't going to punch a kid!"

"Sure you were." Peter blushed under the Sergeant's look. Tony just brought him in a side hug.

"Does a sad unwilling origin story count?" Bruce asked, cleaning his glasses.

"Do you really want to start this, Doc? I was drafted." Bucky snickered.

"In that area, Y/N has a good shot actually." You huffed at that.

"Understatement, I don't even know where these powers came from. My origin story is the only one that can make it to Buzzfeed Unsolved!"

"Add to that what happened at the start- now that was brutal."

You took a sip out of your glass and clanked it with Bucky and Bruce.

"Y/N, what are they talking about?" Loki leaned to whisper to you.

"Oh nothing, don't worry about it." She shrugged him off

"What about my brother? Why don't you join the conversation-" Thor put a hand on the younger brother's shoulder. The brother only scowled.

"Oh please, being a prince with magic, then wanting to take over New York and failing? I'd hardly call it a good competition to what we have here." You snorted. Silence spread over the room, you put your drink down and looked around confused. Some were looking at you, Natasha bit down on her tongue, the others were looking down uncomfortably. Wanda spoke up before you could question your team.

"Hey, mine is out of spite!" Wanda chimed in, her perky voice released the tension in the room. "I obviously win."

Loki remembered those days when he stayed even in the mornings and you would come back from work and tell him all about your day. You'd lay there on your couch or on a stool in the kitchen and you'll tell him all about your day until he eventually felt comfortable telling you all about his, letting you into his life.

Loki walked out of the elevator to your floor, annoyed that he couldn't just teleport himself to the door of your apartment.

He heard your voice telling him to come in after he knocked, turning the knob of the door, he walked in and saw you organizing the living room table with plates and drinks.

"What do we have here?" he nodded to the boxes lying on the bigger table. You chuckled as he closed the door and locked it.

"Well hello to you too, Loki." You looked around, biting your lip. "What do you mean?"

"Those boxes, what did you do?" he eyes them suspiciously as he sat down on the sofa.

"I got us Pizza?"

"A what?" he looked at you like a confused puppy and you hated how adorable he looked.

"You're joking, right?" you put one box on the table. "I know you're British or whatever, but are you seriously telling me that where you are from- they don't have Pizza? What kind of uncultured place do you come from?"

"Maybe I'll tell you another time." He grinned lowly, if only you knew.

He perked up as you opened the box and a welcoming smell filled the air.

"Loki, meet Pizza." You grinned at him and expectedly brought him one on a plate. "Come on, you're going to love it."

He certainly loved meeting you more and more, ever since you met he made sure to keep in touch- he even bought one of those cell phones. He didn't know what it was about you.

He learned that you always tell him the truth, and you certainly did with this food as well when he took a bite. It was different than anything he knew back from Asgard. Good type of different, if he was honest with himself then so were you.

He smiled at the proud grin you held for him when he voiced his approval.

You started to tell him about your day after that.

"Oh, also I just saw a picture of a baby bat, it was so cute." You shook your head fondly.

"I'm sorry, please continue what you were saying." He said after the silence that took over the room.

"Oh no, that was it." You laughed nervously at him, looking down at your drink.

"Why did you tell me that then?"

"Just because? Sometimes you can just talk about nothing at all with someone if you enjoy talking to them."

"So," he put a hand on the back of the sofa right next to you, turning his gaze onto you. "You're just talking to me, and telling me stuff with no meaning behind it?"

"Yeah, is that bad?" you couldn't look at him and he just looked at the floor in thought. Humans were certainly peculiar.

"No, it is not bad." You didn't question hid odd questions, but took comfort in his answer. The conversation returned to normal, and with time you started seeing him try to do the same. It was cute.

•

"We have enough power now, Sir. But we can get more." The head scientist and the other agents had escaped from the base with most of the important weapons.

"What are you suggesting?" the man sat on a chair, a delicate long staff rested on a pedestal in front of him.

"We can keep the asset to ourselves." The man on the chair raised an eyebrow at him. "Commander Iago please, let me explain!"

"Doctor Zazu, we cannot betray the one who provided us with such powerful weapons! We will be doomed."

"I saw the Soldat today. I remember working on him when I first joined here. He was marvelous, so obedient," the doctor drifted off for a bit. "But now, we can get a new Soldat, we can keep the asset for ourselves and make an ever better Soldat!"

"But what will we do with our provider? It will be breaking our agreement." Commander Iago raked his hand through his red hair.

"All these weapons are stolen! If we have the asset- we will be unstoppable!"

The commander thought about the prospect of having another winter soldier.

"Gwen," he called to a girl who quickly walked into the room, rushing. "Wake up the sleeper agent."

•

You curled the white sheets tighter around you when Loki got out of the bed. Prompting up on your elbow, you asked him

"Do you have to go? We can just sleep in for a few hours, or maybe like half the day?" you trying to tame your messy hair a bit.

"The sword must be put back in its place. I will be back shortly."

"Okay, if you say so." You put your head back on the pillow and Loki gently kissed your forehead, earning a content hum from you, and left the room.

He reentered your room that night, not surprised to find you asleep but rather glad, it gave him time. His mind travelled to earlier in the day, and his first day here.

You did tell him about your powers, after he experienced it first-hand. But it didn't make sense to him, he felt the power oozing from you yet none seem to have figured out the source he even doubted they could sense the power in you. He certainly would've glossed over it if he hadn't still remembered past you.

You laid there sleeping in peace when his mind was racing, and he couldn't hold himself back. He reached out for your powers, hoping that they will separate from you and not wake you up. Leaning back on the wall, he closed his eyes and sent himself into your head, connecting to your powers.

It was familiar, he sensed it overwhelming him the longer he tried to dive in. just when he thought he had it, just when the familiarity grew and he knew he was close to the very core of this power inside of you- it was as if he hit a blockade and was pushed out by an aggressive force. The next second you woke up with a gasp, your blurry vision faded out when you came back to reality and noticed Loki.

"Loki?" your heavy breaths filled the room until he answered.

"I'm here, are you okay?" he went towards the bed.

"Yes, just had a nightmare." You shook your head at the memories of the dark place.

"Why don't you go back to sleep, I'll join you in a bit." You were out soon enough, tiredness taking over you.

He hesitantly walked over to you, hand raised to rest on your forehead, but he pulled back with a hiss when he was being held back from touching you.

Reluctantly he walked over the other side of the bed, laying there on his back and staying away from you. Before he could fall asleep, you pulled him to you, wrapping your arms around him you laid your head on his chest.

•

"Hey, little guy." Sam snickered beside you. You hardly saw Steve these days, but you knew Sam just came back from an early run with him.

"I'm older than you!" Scott grunted when you found him in the kitchen.

"She called you tiny, tic-tac, not young."

"As far as I remember, my little ass beat your ass when we met." Your shocked look made Sam grumble and Scott laugh.

"You never told me that! Oh Scott tell me everything!" sitting next to him, he began to tell you the story.

"So, I have manners so I introduced myself obviously-" you nodded along.

"Okay, listen- you can tell her but no telling Cap, I'll never hear the end of it." Sam pointed a spoon at the man who only shrugged and threw you a side smile.

"So, I haven't seen you in a while. How is Cassie doing?"

"She is great, won at a spelling bee! She was so happy." His smile was contagious, whenever he talked about his daughter he wouldn't stop gushing, which was adorable. "Have you ever thought about it?"

"About what?"

"Settling down, having some normal between this hero stuff." He leaned on one hand, and you faltered a bit.

"No, I don't think that's my thing." Sam sat with his coffee in front of you.

The next minute Loki came into the kitchen too. You didn't have to look behind you, gauging by Scott's reaction the Asgardian god stood there in the kitchen.

He didn't bother making conversation with the mortal but rather taking a sit next to you, and kissing your temple. You averted your eyes from Scott who looked over at Sam now. Sam shook his head.

Clearing your throat, you tried to break the silence.

"Scott, did you meet Loki?" you didn't wait for an answer. "Thor and he are here helping us with Hydra."

"No, I can't say that I did."

"Where were you this morning? You never wake up that early." Loki snaked a hand around you. You knew he did it because of Scott and you were a little uneasy about it.

"Oh I just needed to run over some stuff with Mike." You shrugged.

"Who is this Mike?" you didn't like the tone in his voice.

"Just a guy from S.H.I.E.L.D. so calm it."

You tried to focus your conversation on Scott again, ignoring the jealous god sitting beside you.

After your passionate sleepless nights, in the next few days Loki saw you more and more getting up early for work. He almost asked you to stay one time, when you uncurled from his awoken form.

"What if I came with you?"

"You'll spook him up and he won't be able to work properly." You leaned over him and gave him a slight peck. "Besides, you're going to Asgard with Thor later today, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be gone for a couple of days." He was getting up when you sat on his lap.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

•

Sleepless, Steve groaned and grabbed his jacket and went up to the roof of the tower. He had barely slept between his fight with you and watching his best friend almost get killed by an alien weapon which then was held and brought back by none other than Loki.

Getting up, he looked around at the city when he went to his usual sitting space. This night it wasn't empty, he was surprised to see you sitting there, in his sweatshirt.

He went and sat down next to you. It was quiet for a while.

"Can't sleep?"

You shook your head in response.

"I'm sorry, Steve." You turned your head to look at him, your cheeks flushed from the cold. "What I said was way out of place and I just couldn't think clearly through all of my fury." You could feel your eyes beginning to sting. You couldn't fight with Steve.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have screamed at you. I can't fully blame you I am just-" he took your cold hands in his. "I feel protective over you, you're family to me and you know that."

"Loki was my family for a long time too, once." You muttered to him.

"Are you sure he won't hurt you? Can you really just trust him like that?" he asked and you sighed, not seeing the point in avoiding it.

"No." with another breath you managed to tell him more. "Plus it's just for now, we agreed on it."

Steve stayed silent, but you could feel him studying you.

"But Y/N is that what you actually want?"

The question had you holding your breath, catching you off guard. It was an odd question to ask but if you were letting yourself see the truth- you know the answer.

You stayed quiet and stayed with Steve there until you fell asleep on his shoulder.

•

The golden cages of the palace gates opened up to him, the palace workers carefully bowed to him as he hastily passed by them. The sooner he could this over it, the sooner he could go back to you. Hopefully you won't be taken away from him again when he is back.

Entering the throne room, he saw his father on the grand sit and Thor leaned in on a pillar.

"Ah, my son, you finally came." He walked towards his brother and stood in front of Odin.

"What is this meeting about?"

"Loki-" Thor began before his father halted him.

"I heard you rejected the advances of lady Iyllir, why would you do that?"

"Well, father-"

"Our relationship with her family is important. We need to clean up the messy reputation you gave yourself, giving you a fitting wife will help immensely. Loki, for once in your life do the right thing and obey!"

"Loki has-"

"No Thor, don't make excuses for him. The lady was brought here for you, to have a wedding. My child, don't be foolish. She is a lovely girl, everybody will be happy when the wedding will occur! She even agreed to be your wife despite everything!" the Allfather chuckled but Loki knew better than that.

"Shouldn't we be talking about the problem with Hydra? We did manage to get some weapons but some are still missing." Thor cleared his throat and glanced at Loki, who stayed quiet.

"Very well my child, what do you suggest we do?"

"My friends are doing a great job at attacking Hydra, maybe we could send an Asgardian scientist to help them." Thor glanced at Loki for help, he just nodded at him.

"I want you boys home soon. I want to know how these midgardians got their hands on our weapons, you should not take this lightly, and tell these friends of yours not to as well."

"Of course, father. So in two days time we will go back to Midgard and resume our help there."

"No, Thor you will go but Loki shall stay here." Odin dismissed the older brother.

"Father, they need me there, my wand is still missing there!" Loki argued back.

"They don't need you anymore; you've helped them with explaining the weapons. Now you can stay home and we can talk about the wedding. What is the problem? That was the plan all along."

The problem was that Loki knew that, and it was true. He couldn't argue against it.

•

The bed was cold now, the last couple of days took away the place Loki held in your bed and replaced it with coldness. You missed him already.

The sun was setting, painting the skies of your window with beautiful pastel colours.

"Come in!" you yelled to the person at the door. You smiled when you saw Loki walking into your room. "Loki!"

Rushing to him, you wrapped him in a hug, which he was reclined to return. You pulled back from him.

"Loki?" his face held no expressions, and it sent you back.

"So, you're not going to say anything?" sobbing, you had to sit on the couch. Why was he still here? This is what you get for falling for a trickster; he must have lied to you a million little times. "Did this mean nothing to you? Did I mean nothing to you?"

Accusing him, your blurry eyes returned to his solid face that held no emotion- just indifference.

"What did you expect falling for an immortal monster?" he growled back, mocking you now. The tears kept pouring as he stood there staring.

"I came here to help with the weapons which were stolen, my help isn't really needed here anymore so I am going back to Asgard."

Oh. You took a couple of steps back.

"What did you expect falling for the god of lies? Did you really think I would stay for you? I won't be coming back to midgard anymore." You barely saw him now but you heard the door shut behind him, and he just left you there with your heart shattered like glass on the floor.

"Loki, are you not going to stay until we found the weapons at least?" you let out a nervous laugh, trying to keep looking at him, which proved to be a difficult task when you knew that he knew exactly what you felt.

"No, Thor can take it away from now on. I do have to go back for my duties as a prince, and for a lady after all." You scoffed.

"Right."

"You can't be upset with me. This was what you wanted. We agreed on this from the start, just a temporary thing, right?" he mocked you now.

"Well what if I wanted more! You were all I wanted!" you yelled at him now, finally releasing all the unsaid things. "Does that make you happy? Hearing me say that, hearing me beg?"

"No it doesn't." he groaned at you.

"You are doing the same thing you did all those years ago." The tears welled up in your eyes. "You know, you never did tell me why, you just left with no explanation."

"What do you want me to say, baby?" it slipped but he couldn't control it, he had to control himself first.

"Don't call me baby! Look at this mess that you're creating of me, do you remember what happened back then? How I cried and you were just there watching! You just watched me suffer." The tears let themselves flow without your permission. "Tell me why!"

"You don't know anything, why would you make such a fuss over nothing?" he hissed at you, moving around the room you almost felt like his prey. You probably were.

"Because I love you! I always have so even if you don't just let me have this closure, tell me why you left me so suddenly?" You hated the crack in your voice, closing your eyes for a moment you pinched your nose. "Tell me!"

"This is why!" his yell scared you, opening your eyes you were shocked at what you saw. In front of you stood a creature with blue skin, markings and red eyes- and that was Loki. You stood there staring at him with tears glistening on your cheeks.

"What- what's this?" you felt shivers down your spine, the temperature in the room was much colder now. He gave you a scary smile.

"I'm a frost giant, in Asgard you know the parents tell their kids about monsters like me at night." Those eyes were menacing as he walked over to you. You took steps back but he didn't stop.

"Loki, stop." You put a hand forward.

"Is this not what you wanted?"

"Not like this." You shook your head, trying to get rid of the part of your brain that insists that he is scary. "Whatever you are, whatever happened to you- none of that is enough excuse for what you did to me."

"You mortals always confuse excuse with explanation."

"Yeah right because I'm just a dumb human, I apologize, my prince." In a blink of an eye he turned back to how you knew him. Your mind hasn't processed what happened yet, your heart was already taking over you at that point.

"You asked me why, I gave you a reason." And you wanted to ask more, you wanted to understand this. You wanted him to-

"Stay." You whispered, tired at this point.

"I'm going back to my home at Asgard." He turned back and was walking towards the door.

"If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back."

The door slammed shut and all over again you broke down, with your heart shattering on the floor. That's the price you pay for trying to have back something that you never had in the first place. Nothing has changed.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

#my writing #1989 #all you had to do was stay #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki angst #angst #taylor swift #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki imagine #marvel #loki show #loki odinson x reader

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ldyinblckmsk · 4 years

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Pairing: Todoroki Shouto X GN! Reader

Genre: Angst

Words: 1k

A/N: Hey guys! welp this is my first time finishing a story. Yep, I'm a sucker for angst. I have so many plots in mind and all of them were just sleeping in my drafts ugh. This may not be a good one but I'm quite proud of myself for writing this one. I hope this gets attention ohmygod. Enjoy!

I wanted to make ya'll cry, so listen with this song.

----------------------------------------------

Everything is a blur. You were just outside of your house, sitting at the floor in your front porch with another can of beer on your hand. Crumbs of chips are everwhere on the floor together with five cans of beer that was making a mess. The cold breeze of the night makes you shiver and the alcohol isn't enough to warm you. It's not like you don't want to go inside your house. You just can't.

Because today seems like the devil is casting you a curse with ridiculous bad lucks you encountered, enjoying your torments as you make fool of yourself. Burning your liver with the bitter concoction as your mind wandering to the sole reason why you were out of yourself lately.

You didn't even know how you end up with a cellphone in your hand, dialing a familiar number as you squint your eyes trying to clear your vision. You found yourself laughing as you tried to copy the ringing of your phone while waiting for him to pick up.

Todoroki is surprised when he saw your number on the screen. He thought that you already deleted his contact when the two of you called it off last month. Confused as to why you're calling him at 3 AM, he picked up his phone, eyes still adjusting in the dark.

"Hello?"

On the third ring, you nearly jumped when you heard his calm and deep voice, excitement course through every veins in your body. His groggy voice gave away that you woke him up. Heart beating than the usual rhythm against your rib cage, you exhaled the air you didn't know you were holding before you speak.

"Hey!" You cringed when you heard your voice rising its pitch. Oh shit, that sounds like a mouse that had been caught in a trap!

"I'm glad you picked up, Shou." You giggled at the cute nickname, slurring some words that gives him a hint that you're drinking. You're drunk to the point that you're doing things that you'll regret when you wake up. "I thought you're not going to answer me hmp." You pout, your cringey childish self showing up.

"Y/n?" He's confused, checking his phone if it's really your number who called him and not some teenager's prank.

"It's already late. Why are you still up?" His concerned voice makes your heart clench.

"I want your hugs right now, Shou."

"Hey, did something happened? Are you okay?" You shushed him, shaking your head. "I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you that I missed you and I'm sorry."

"I missed our lazy date nights. I missed your cuddles. I missed the smell of your cologne. I missed how you ruffles my hair while you placed a kiss on my forehead. I missed wearing your hoodies..."

You let your drunken self take over you allowing yourself to verbalize all your true feelings you've been hiding.

"I missed you, love." You bitterly smiled at the endearment you used. It brings back thousands of memories you didn't want to forget but you didn't want to also remember either. It's just there locked in a box somewhere in your heart but you're conversation with him released all of it. And every single of them pricked your heart like needles.

The bi-colored hair man didn't know what to say. Hell, he can't even think properly. You're drunk and you're telling him your sober thoughts. He thought you're completely over with him, seeing you smiling while you're hanging out with your friends like nothing happened broke him apart. And yet here you are confessing to him.

"C-can I go see you?"

"No." You were taken aback with his immediate reply. Nodding to yourself as you let out a chuckle. You're proud to yourself that you're still not crying, always so good at hiding your emotions.

"It's late, go to sleep." His voice is cold and distant. But you didn't let it affect you as you shoot your shot again.

"I-I'll bring lots of your favorite soba. Cold ones are always perfect, right? Just wait, I'll get a ta—" He cuts you off. You heard a painful sigh from the other line.

"Y/n, We...already broke up." Hearing those words makes the alcohol in your body immediately disappear. With those sentence, you instantly sober up. "We broke up. Month ago."

He repeated like he's trying to make you remember it. It was just a misunderstanding. He's aloof and oblivious personality didn't understand your outbursts. You did trust him but his constant hanging out with Momo riled up your insecurities. And funny how they are a couple now.

"Yeah and I'm wasted." You chuckled as you began to cry, quietly, biting the inside of your cheeks while trying to control your emotions.

"Don't come here. You need to sleep. Drink lots of water when you wake up. We'll talk tomorrow–"

You cut him off before he hangs up, hands fiddling the hem of your shirt. "You know... it's been a rough day. Everyone's being mean to me."

Silence answers you but you still continue ranting to him. "I nearly got fired for standing up for myself when a customer throws her coffee on me because I accidentally messed up her order. T-then, I-I lost my fucking keys and it's cold."

"I lost the keys of my house."

You're having a hard time controlling your emotions now as you complained to him like a whiny child. Tears slowly cascading down your cheeks while you let out sobs.

"It's cold, Shou. I'm cold. And everything hurts. I wish you were here right now but, yeah, we already broke up." You didn't let him talk. "Just so you know I'm happy for you even if it's her."

"I'm right. Momo's better for you."

You were just sitting there, at the corner of your front porch. Deeps uncontrollable sobs squeezed your lungs. Your phone long forgotten as it slips from your hand and met the cold floor while you completely breaks down. You hugged your knees tightly burrying your head, serving as your emotional support now.

Pretending that you're already moved on from your heart ache. Smiling and fooling yourself that you didn't want him anymore. Saying you're fine when you found out that he's recently dating Momo.

All the pent up emotions you've been keeping from showing explodes like a burning magma finding its way out of the volcano. The cold air hits you again and this makes you grieve louder while shivering at the sudden drop of temperature.

Bullshit.

Out of your shrieks of anguish, clock hitting another hour you spent outside, phone still light up with your ongoing call with him, wind hitting your pitiful state, slowly and smoothly, tiny crystals glowing when lights hit it just right–snow descends from the sky.

"Fucking keys," you cursed. Eyes already heavy as Hypnos cradles you to sleep.

#todoroki shōto #bnha todoroki #todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #bnha #bnha angst

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etjwrites · 4 years

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Here it is, the official ⚡️THORUNN⚡️ Spotify playlist, all 85 mins of it!

I listened to these songs quite a bit while drafting, revising, and putting the finishing touches on my novel, and it's carefully curated (if listening from the desktop, or premium on the app) to give y'all the perfect ⚡️THORUNN⚡️ listening experience. A good bit of these songs could apply to either Laine or Kenton, (though some are specific to each – kudos to you if you can accurately guess which!) but some also center around other characters – both friend and foe – and around themes from the novel: family, loss, forgiveness, hope.

The playlist starts off rather melancholy (given what happens to Kenton's family in the beginning of the book), and bounces back and forth between anger and grief – with some encouragement slipped in between here and there – before leading to a defiant, hopeful ending. I've included some relevant lyrics from each song (most under a cut, since there are 22 songs on this playlist) and there's a mix of styles and genres from a wide variety of artists, though it does trend in the alt/rock direction. Music from the 70's all the way to recent years has made the list, and there's even a South African song gracing this collection!

⚡️THORUNN⚡️ was released May 20, 2020, everywhere books are sold, and I would be utterly delighted if y'all gave this playlist a listen while reading. It'll definitely enhance your experience, and give you a peek into my state of mind while writing.

1. Fix You – Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse

2. Umama – Sjava

English Translation:

I miss my mom I am unable to go on I cannot continue I miss my mom

3. O-oh Child – The Five Stairsteps

Ooh child Things are gonna get easier Some day, yeah

4. Wolves – Down Like Silver

When I die let the wolves enjoy my bones When I die set me free When I die throw my ashes to the breeze When I die scatter me

5. Drifting – Adelitas Way

Maybe I'm drifting, maybe I'm lost Maybe I found every line I'd cross Some of us we haven't had a dream Drifting just like me

6. Gone Away – Five Finger Death Punch

Maybe in another life I could find you there Pulled away before your time The world has grown cold Now that you've gone away

7. Nothing Makes Sense Anymore – Mike Shinoda

My inside's out, my left is right My upside's down, my black is white I hold my breath, and close my eyes And wait for dawn, but there's no light

8. Faint – Linkin Park

Time won't heal this damage anymore Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

9. Talking to the moon – Bruno Mars

At night when the stars Light up my room I sit by myself Talking to the moon Tryin' to get to you

10. Still Here – Digital Daggers

Musing through memories Losing my grip in the grey I'd die to be where you are I tried to be where you are Every night I dream you're still here When I awake, you'll disappear

11. Speak to Me – Amy Lee

Be still, my love I will return to you However far you feel from me You are not alone

12. Running From My Shadow – Mike Shinoda

I'm running from my shadow but it's still there chasing me down I'll never win the battle I should have known it by now Just when I think I've found the end, I'm going back around again, Running from my shadow but it's still there chasing me down

13. Somewhere I Belong – Linkin Park

I want to heal, I want to feel, What I thought was never real I want to let go of the pain I felt so long I want to find something I've wanted all along Somewhere I belong

14. Waiting for the End – Linkin Park

Waiting for the end to come Wishing I had strength to stand This is not what I had planned It's out of my control All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got

15. Legends Never Die – League of Legends

When everything's lost, they pick up their hearts and avenge defeat Before it all starts, they suffer through harm just to touch a dream

16. Paint it, Black – Ciara

I see a red door and I want it painted black No colors anymore, I want them to turn black I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

17. Robot Boy – Linkin Park

So you say you're not gonna fight 'Cause no one will fight for you Just hold, on the weight of the world Will give you the strength to go

18. Dear Agony – Breaking Ben

Dear agony Just let go of me Suffer slowly Is this the way it's got to be?

19. Soldier – Fleurie

Soldier keep on marchin' on Head down 'til the work is done

20. Gallows – Katie Garfield

Tell them something is coming There's blood in the water Give them a warning Let it all come crashing down

21. Here I am – Tommee Profitt

You can run but you can’t hide Out of the ashes I rise Here I am

22. Love Hurts – Incubus

Love hurts But sometimes it's a good hurt And it feels like I'm alive Love sings When it transcends the bad things

Can you tell I'm a Linkin Park fan?😉

Taglist:

@elaynab-writing @musicofglassandwords @sheabutterskyes @igotablankpage @writeanapocalae @alcego-writes @canallynwrite @fordewrites @valdifarniente @warofmywords

#thorunn #writeblr #am writing #writing playlist #spotify playlist #etjwrites #spotify #bookblr

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