#frob reviews

[frobislive]

so you don’t have to: mermaid’s song

hey friends! today’s review will be on the movie mermaid’s song, also known as charlotte’s song, directed by nicholas humphries. it is a loose retelling of hans christian andersen’s the little mermaid.

i did not know this until the opening credits of the movie. let me give you the description of this movie that i saw when i first watched it on tubi [where it is still available at the time of writing this]:

A girl in the 1930s has a family business a gangster wants to illegally help, but he doesn’t know she’s a mermaid who controls minds with her voice.

to call this description misleading is... an understatement. but before we get into that, let me clarify a few things: i have watched this movie before, and this will be like my 4th time watching it as i write this. most reviews i have seen of this movie do NOT like it one bit, and i can see why. but for me it has a certain je ne say quaough. i will be giving a rather lengthy summary of the movie talking about a lot of aspects i really enjoy and a lot i think they could do SO MUCH BETTER, so naturally, this review will be LONG and have a lot of SPOILERS! this is your only warning [for this review]! but i hope you guys won’t mind because the reason i’m reviewing this movie in particular first is to introduce my subgenre of reviews: SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO, where i watch the random movies i find going through a hot actor’s filmography—you guessed it—so you don’t have to! all will be formatted like this: less of a professional review and more me telling you what happens in the movie and getting silly with it.

so levi, you might ask, who is the hot actor you subjected yourself to this identity crisis of a movie for?

well, let me show you the poster:

notice anyone familiar? someone from... game of thrones, perhaps?

that’s right folks, i watched this movie for mr ramsay bolton himself, iwan rheon. so let’s get into it, shall we?

the movie takes place, as stated before, in the 1930s. this wouldn’t be so strange if not for the fact that it is set in oklahoma. do you know what absolutely killed middle america in the 1930s? i’ll give you a hint: exactly what’s killing the southwest right now, only about a hundred times worse.

this is a mermaid movie in which the only water exists in a bathtub or wash basin.

our main character is charlotte, a thirteen[?] year old girl who is the youngest of six girls. i do not remember any of the sisters’ names despite seeing this movie several times, so it might get a little confusing but we’ll be okay. the movie begins with a flashback charlotte, about six years old, catching fireflies. she comes inside and we are introduced to her sisters and the girls’ mother, singing for a crowd in their bar that is also their house. her older daughters—all except charlotte—are background dancers. the patrons look pleased and their father [whose name is george] watches lovingly from the bar. as charlotte walks away from the stage, she is stopped by a man [iwan rheon] who, seemingly telepathically, tells her be careful. she looks confused, so he kneels down and says, out loud, “i said, be careful.” by the way, when he kneels down to her level, and when he gets back up, his movement is sped up. it is not clear why they do this and i believe it is the only time it happens. the mother notices him and looks concerned but does not stop the show. this opening bit is cut with shots of a classic big ol’ fairy tale book complete with many mermaid illustrations, which are fucking awesome, and narration of one such fairy tale. 

i want to take a moment to point out that the sound editing in this movie is atrocious. it is not balanced at all. at many points the music is almost too loud to hear the dialogue/singing. i watch movies with subtitles, so this does not bother me, but it seems to be a big issue for many people who have reviewed this movie. this also does not stop me from getting the songs stuck in my head for weeks after every time i watch this.

now we are introduced to charlotte’s “grandmother”, the sea witch of this retelling. we quickly learn that she is not her real grandmother and no one likes her except charlotte. she tells charlotte what is essentially the story of the little mermaid and the movie makes it obvious that this story is about her mother. the sea witch tells charlotte that “unless [the mermaid] returns to the sea, another must be found to take her place, for the balance between worlds must be preserved at all costs.” by “another” the witch means charlotte, as she immediately tries to steal her away, but the mother catches her and locks her in george’s office, after which she goes to argue with him, because the prophecy must be fulfilled and it’s her or charlotte. here is where the setting of oklahoma comes into play, as it’s revealed that they have moved as far away from water as they could in the hopes that the witch wouldn’t find them. george suggests they “pay the debt” and give up charlotte, and she responds by killing herself, with charlotte finding her body. yes. seriously. take that, sea witch, i guess?

cut to title sequence, where the title card looks an awful lot like they used a rip-off pirates of the carribean font.

now we move to present day. the dust bowl is in full effect, and the family’s business has been affected heavily by this and by the death of their mother. the sea witch still lives with them and has been subjugated to maid status. we also find out that this bar/cabaret is also a gas station now? or maybe it always was. either way, charlotte feels bad for a family that cannot pay for gas and ends up running out on their property, so she fills up a canister behind george’s back. on her way to give them the gas canister she runs into a man named tim, an old friend of the family. he offers to deliver the gas can for her and says he’ll be back in a couple days to talk to george. tim is young and cute and it is very obvious charlotte has a schoolgirl crush on him. tim obviously loves her too, but in a very familial sense.

we see the family growing stressed because of money troubles and customers becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their entertainment [can’t fuck the girls] and drinks [can’t afford real liquor to serve]. the sea witch tells charlotte she will soon have to make the choice that her mother did, and it becomes increasingly obvious that charlotte is regarded as the black sheep and the baby of the family. also, george is not a good father, and soon he’ll get worse.

so far, this movie is strange at best and a disappointment at worst. the acting is hit or miss, the sound design isn’t balanced, and the story is confusing. but now, a character returns to the fray: randall. oh randall. iwan rheon does such a wonderful job with randall. he’s the perfect combination of cheesy b-movie fruity villain and seriously scary. iwan serves cunt in this role and if you disagree i cannot help you.

anyway, who is randall? well, remember the ‘gangster’ the poor description of this movie mentioned? yeah, that’s him. he offers george a steady supply of canadian whiskey and an untold amount of money as an investment, under the condition that he has the final say in how the business is run until the loan is paid off, after which george resumes control and randall gets a cut of profits. he also tells george that he must begin prostituting his daughters, saying he needs to “utilize all the assets at [his] disposal.” george agrees, for all but charlotte [i think the next oldest is like. 16 but who is paying attention to age of consent laws in 1930s oklahoma. did they even have any back then?]. the dance show also involves stripping now. charlotte initially does not know that her sisters are being prostituted, but finds out after she sneaks into her sister’s room to put on makeup and has to hide in the closet when she comes in with a man.

cut to: it has been a couple days. what does that mean? tim is back!! when he comes in, george is... chopping chairs apart with an axe, for some reason? anyway, tim talks with george about the struggles of the world and we learn he has come back from california. george offers him a job working for him and tells him about randall. tim warns george to stay away from him, as he has worked for randall in the past and he is not a man to be trifled with. george is angry that tim is telling him his new boss sucks so he kicks him out.

now, when randall made this deal, he left a man, harold, behind to make sure things are running to his liking. harold takes a... problematic liking to charlotte and suggests that george does start prostituting her, specifically, to him. george agrees but it is obvious that he feels he needs to do it because they are so broke, as immediately after harold leaves the room he vomits. would like to see that same revulsion for what you’re doing to the rest of your daughters though, sir.

charlotte is prepared by her oldest sister for her, um, “meeting” with harold and it is clear she does not know what’s about to happen. as it turns out, neither do we. once she realizes what harold is there for, she has a panic attack which triggers HER FIRST MERMAID TRANSFORMATION!!! instead of harold getting to ruin a little girl’s life, he gets a face full of mermaid claws and runs away screaming. the sea witch appears again as charlotte passes out and she instructs charlotte’s sisters to put her in the bathtub and fill it with water.

here i want to point out that another thing i really like about this movie is the cinematography. it feels a bit lynchian, and i cannot tell if they were going for that vibe on purpose or if it’s just the result of some weird ass editing [affectionate]. either way, something about this movie feels distinctly twin peaks-ish.

charlotte wakes up in the bathtub and notices that a small patch on her leg still has scales. she picks one off. her sister brings her some water and charlotte begins singing, and it is here she realizes that her singing gives people visions of whatever they want most, a trait she inherited from her mother. her sister has a vision of her [secret] boyfriend proposing to her. it’s not 100% clear whether or not charlotte can actually see these visions she’s causing but i think she can. this is important later. george brings tim back to the house to inform him about this catastrophic clusterfuck and that charlotte is starting to get mermaid-y [apparently tim knew that the mother was a mermaid as well]. tim says he’ll talk to randall for george and try to smooth things over. charlotte speaks to tim before he leaves, and he tells her some things about her mother before she ends up kissing him. he tells her they can’t do that, obviously, to which her response is, “you won’t have to pay like the other men,” after which tim immediately gets up and physically fights george, who claims they were going to kill him if he didn’t start prostituting charlotte as well [lie]. tim still agrees to speak to randall.

we go through more family troubles, all of the daughters rightfully hating their father for the situation he’s putting them in. charlotte learns more about mermaid stuff and is able to sneak into the sea witch’s room with the ring of keys that harold dropped when she attacked him. did i mention that george had “forbidden” the sea witch from seeing charlotte, and what he means by “forbidding” is tying her to a chair and locking her in her room? because that’s what he does. charlotte releases her and the sea witch convinces her to let her take her to the water, to be home. unfortunately george catches them and just. kills the sea witch with a fire poker? if she could be killed by mortal means why didn’t they do it like 10 years ago lol. charlotte is obviously upset about this and we get some real cool shots that i’m pretty sure are supposed to symbolize the nightmares she has afterwards. one of her sisters comes to comfort her and again she sings, and again she finds that her sister has a vision, this time of their mother.

now, remember the sister with the secret boyfriend? well, apparently, she has a plan to run away with him. she agrees to take charlotte with them and sends her to steal the money that george has stashed away in his office while he is asleep. in his office. naturally charlotte fucks it up and george wakes up and chases them outside the house, where he tries to shoot the sister’s boyfriend. unfortunately, he misses and instead shoots... the sister, killing her instantly. this is never talked about again and has no effect on the story other than to make charlotte more upset with her father.

but no matter: randall is back! he informs george that harold is, in fact, alive and “won’t stop raving about the monsters.” george claims that he tried to look for him [lie] but couldn’t find anything, and randall thanks him by threatening to cut off his finger! how does george respond? by begging them to cut off his oldest daughter’s finger instead of his! fortunately, no one actually has any fingers removed, as before they can start on the oldest daughter, charlotte begins to sing to them, stopping the men as well as her sister in their tracks, daydreaming as they stare into the distance. randall seems rather unaffected by this, staring down charlotte directly. when she finishes, he tells her, “neat trick,” quite bitterly, which is a line i absolutely love. charlotte convinces randall to let them go back to the regular song and dance show with no more prostitution, i suppose because he’s becoming intrigued with this weird little girl with bigger balls than her fucking father.

charlotte begins singing in the shows, which brings a life back to their business that they have not seen since their mother died. however, george has not stopped the prostitution like he promised, but does not tell charlotte or randall, and pockets the cash himself. shortly after this change, george successfully pays off randall’s loan and does not tell his family. tim comes to visit again after charlotte begins doing the show, and this time he brings his fiancée. charlotte clearly does not appreciate this, and it only gets worse when tim tells her that they are moving away, but before he leaves she tells him that she has something to show him, which means that she sings for him and he has a vision of himself kissing her mother. now, i forgot to mention that at some point in this movie, we learn that if a mermaid and a human conceive a child, that child will only be a mermaid if it is born out of true love. so, DING! now we know why charlotte got the mermaid gene and not ANY of her FIVE other sisters: she’s tim’s kid, not george’s! aaand now it makes it even weirder that she kissed him.

charlotte is now beginning to recognize that people aren’t actually coming to see her for her voice, but rather the visions she gives them, and she quickly becomes disillusioned with her celebrity. she decides to leave, but on the night she tries to sneak out, randall is in her house for reasons we do not fully understand for the time being. he speaks to her telepathically again and we also learn he can seemingly control lights or electricity? idk he turns on a lamp by waving his hand over it. seeing him use these powers prompts charlotte to say, “you’re one of them,” and to which he responds, “them? i’m one of us.” which is also a banger line and i think about it weekly. charlotte realizes that he has been trying to push her towards realizing her powers and he tries to convince her to come with him and be a protégé of sorts, so he can teach her all the wonderful ways they can use their powers to mess with humans [and i like to imagine that this means randall sings to his gang sometimes]. she refuses and like, sure, you do you, but girl i’m different. that sounds fun as hell. imagine being mermaid loki’s sidekick. before randall leaves he tells her that george has indeed paid back his debt.

we soon see why randall is at the house/bar/cabaret stage when he confronts george, dragging a beaten and bloody tim with him. randall says tim tells him that he had spoken with george the previous day, george says he hasn’t seen him in ages, randall shoots tim in the knee. when this happens, a rather jarring synth note plays just before he takes the shot. not extremely important but another little bit of lynchian influence i love. i think about that shot all the time.

from here, everything turns to chaos. charlotte learns about the prostitution, george learns randall is a mermaid, randall tells his men to “take the girls, kill george,” everyone is struggling and fighting, another sister gets shot, and then charlotte has another mermaid transformation and starts screaming. apparently, mermaid screams work the opposite of mermaid singing, as the men all begin to have visions of themselves doing “sinful” things and end up killing themselves or each other. this also causes the oldest daughter to shoot and kill george. randall simply leaves the bar in the middle of this with a very “my work here is done” air about him.

finally, charlotte gets to leave. as she takes one last look at the house she’s spent her entire life in, randall approaches her. he tries once more to convince her to come be evil with him, and as she instead walks towards her new life, he comments, “very brave of you to go in the exact direction they’ve been trying to lure you this whole time.” she smiles and responds, “i’ll write you when i get there.”

and that’s the end of the movie! first thing, i obviously absolutely love randall’s character. he is really the only light in this dreary, underwritten cast and i so wish that either he and charlotte played off each other more or she did decide that being evil is fun actually. this movie also introduces a lot of weird mermaid powers that i’ve never really seen before? but only uses them like once. i mean, yeah, we’ve all heard of siren song, but has anyone else ever heard of telepathic mermaids, or mermaids with super speed, or mermaids that can control electricity/light?

this team obviously had a vision here, and even if it wasn’t executed very well, i appreciate the hell out of the passion i can see in this project and everyone involved. i hope that the team behind this movie learns from the mistakes they made and keep all the things that made this so beautifully strange.

if you liked this post, stay tuned! i’ve got a lot more movies to talk about.

[help-the-homeless]

References

Here are the references that I have used thus far in my blog - the research provided has come from these sources. All of the pictures/images that are on my blog are either taken from Canva (with sources on them), or I have made them myself on Canva. 

Abramovich, A., Pang, N., Moss, A., Logie, C. H., Chaiton, M., Kidd, S. A., & Hamilton, H. A. (2021). Investigating the impacts of COVID-19 among LGBTQ2S youth experiencing homelessness. PloS One, 16(9), e0257693-e0257693. https://doi.org/10.1371.journal.pone.0257693

Bertram, F., Heinrich, F., Frob, D., Wulff, B., Ondruschka, B., Puschel, K., Konig, H., & Hajek, A. (2021). Loneliness among homeless individuals during the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(6), 3035. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18063035

Green, H., Fernandez, R., & MacPhail, C. (2021). The social determinants of health and health outcomes among adults during the COVID-19 pandemic: A systematic review. Public Health Nursing (Boston, Mass.), 38(6), 942-952. https://doi.org/10.1111/phn.12959

Lima, N. N. R., de Souza, R. I., Feitosa, P. W. G., Moreira, Jorge Lucas de Sousa, da Silva, Claudio Gleidiston Lima, & Neto, M. L. R. (2020). People experiencing homlessness: Their potential exposure to COVID-19. Psychiatry Research, 288, 112945

McGillivray, K. (2021, January 12). Ontario's homeless 5 times more likely to die of covid-19, study finds | CBC News. CBCnews. Retrieved December 2, 2021, from https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ontario-s-homeless-5-times-more-likely-to-die-of-covid-19-study-finds-1.5869024. 

Miller, J., Phillips, G., Hutton, J., Mackelprang, J. L., O’Reilly, G. M., Mitchell, R. D., Smith, C., & Mitra, B. (2020). COVID-19 and emergency care for adults experiencing homelessness. Emergency Medicine Australasia, 32(6), 1084-1086. https://doi.org/10.1111/1742-6723.13652

Montgomery, M. P., Carry, M. G., Garcia-Williams, A. G., Marshall, B., Besrat, B., Bejarano, F., Carlson, J., Rutledge, T., & Mosites, E. (2021). Hand hygiene during the COVID-19 pandemic among people experiencing homelessness-Atlanta, georgia, 2020. Journal of Community Psychology, 49(7), 2441-2453. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcop.22583

Perri, M., Dosani, N., & Hwang, S. W. (2020). COVID-19 and people experiencing homelessness: Challenges and mitigation strategies. Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ), 192(26), E716-E719. https://doi.org/10.1503/cmaj.200834

Rodriguez, N. M., Lahey, A. M., MacNeill, J. J., Martinez, R. G., Teo, N. E., & Ruiz, Y. (2021). Homelessness during COVID-19: Challenges, responses, and lessons learned from homeless service providers in tippecanoe county, indiana. BMC Public Health, 21(1), 1657-1657. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-021-11687-8

van Ruth, V., Konig, H. -., Betram, F., Schmiedel, P., Ondruschka, B., Puschel, K., Heinrich, F., & Hajek, A. (2021). Determinants of health-related quality of life among homeless individuals during the COVID-19 pandemic. Public Health (London), 194, 60-66. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.puhe.2021.02.026

Wood, L. J., Davies, A. P., & Khan, Z. (2020). COVID-19 precautions: Easier said than done when patients are homeless. Medical Journal of Australia, 212(8), 384-384.e1. https://doi.org/10.5694/mja2.50571

World Health Organization. (2020, October 15). Handwashing an effective tool to prevent COVID-19, other diseases. World Health Organization. Retrieved December 1, 2021, from https://www.who.int/southeastasia/news/detail/15-10-2020-handwashing-an-effective-tool-to-prevent-covid-19-other-diseases. 

World Health Organization. (n.d.). Social Determinants of Health. World Health Organization. Retrieved November 30, 2021, from https://www.who.int/health-topics/social-determinants-of-health#tab=tab_1. 

World Health Organization. (n.d.). Coronavirus. World Health Organization. Retrieved December 1, 2021, from https://www.who.int/health-topics/coronavirus#tab=tab_1.

[frobislive]

new post type: reviews!

hey all! i’ve decided that i don’t want to make this only a live blog, because i watch a lot of stuff with friends and don’t want to be blogging the whole time with someone there obviously, i’m gonna post reviews too, and my first one will be coming in a couple hours!