#from the beginning of the year LMAOOO i was enjoying myself and THATS what’s going to show not some fake specially curated version of me

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

“there’s only x days until spotify stops collecting data” shut up shut up shut up listen to the music you want to in the moment and stop making it a performance and caring about everyone will see. stop it.

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

Omg I’m so happy you replied!! I definitely have more questions.

1. What Cillian character do you like writing about the most and why?

2. What story from your master list are you most proud of?

3. Do you personally have any fic recommendations/ must reads? Other sites included.

4. What gets you inspired to write? Following that question have you ever abandoned a fic?

5. What do you think made you a better writer? If you have any doubts about your work, how do you get past it enough to continue?

6. Is there a Cillian character that you just don’t like, or aren’t interested in watching/ writing about? (Sorry if that’s a loaded question)

omg thank u so much for this!!! i srsly love interacting w u guys, tysm for the thought provoking questions😄🙌

i think i like writing most about robert fischer:) ik it probably doesnt translate considering ive written most for jonathan crane but robert fischer is just such a little sweetheart to me,,, and can go both ways in being a sassy dom douchebag or being a sobbing daddy issues sub darling LOLLL i just think he has a lot of duality to delve into and develop (which ive definitely not done so far☠️) and it helps that his characterization in inception was also very surface level— i have a lot of wiggle room y’know??

i think im most proud of “dine & dash” which im aware probably no-one has read, but getting chris o’doyle’s sassy little dialogue down was like taming a wild beast,,, otherwise, considering my more well-known work, i rly liked writing “honey, i’m home”. i go crazy for the unhinged readers (if u couldnt alrdy tell lmaooo) and seeing jackson get messed with like that was a real treat.

i seriously just recommend anything by @mypoisonedvine,,, they’re literally genius & are the reason i started writing for cillian:)!! other mentions include kitten fics by @pictureinme and, a personal fave, @floralcyanidee’s jackson rippner mile-high club fic!!! these writers are all incredibly talented and im just blown away at their work every single time🫶

my thirst is such a big motivator for writing LMAO😭i wrote “guinea pig” ‘cus i wanted to absolute wreckkk jonathan crane and have him be a sub, and i got a 6.8k words long fic out of said thirst! music & book quotes motivate me a lot too— i spend sm time digging thru my pinterest for a good quote for the beginning of my fic its actually insane☠️and yes,,, im ashamed to say ive abandoned fics numerous times,,, but thats because they were series’, not oneshots. i get bored of series’ pretty quickly, ‘cause i feel kind of trapped by the initial dynamic or mood set in the first chapter. with oneshots, its like writing one long chapter of this trope and this kink or whatever and then its done, and i dont have to exhaust myself going back to tropes or kinks or storylines ive already done.

i think reading made me a better writer. expanding my vocabulary through the words of others was a biggie; seeing something be described in a certain way in someones story had me thinking of out-of-the-box ways to describe another thing (that doesn’t make much sense but lets pretend it does😭). i have many, many doubts about my work, like constantly, but i usually just suck it up. i sound like an attention whore but seeing the reposts & comments & tags on my other work reminds me people like what i’ve written before and certain people will enjoy what ive written now, so i should just finish my work for them. i also take like 100 years rereading my stuff until i think its good enough lmao,,,

ive kinda watched his whole roster of films (atleast ones i could actually find on the internet and not gone missing as a lost piece of media lmao) and i could probably write for any cillian character given i had a good idea and proper motivation. writing for certain characters is definitely harder for me to do though, so its likely i wont write for them/will take a long time to do so. an example is lenny miller— anna was such an insufferable movie to me, and lenny’s screentime wasn’t long at all, atleast not long enough for me to properly grasp his character. he just felt like a horny hardass fbi goof the whole time i could not take his 5’7 ass seriously😭cillian is smexy as hell in anna tho, so we’ll see😈another would probably be robert capa from sunshine,,, hes beautiful and deliciously musty in that but the whole spaceship setting kinda freaks me out (considering i know 0 zilch nada about space, spaceships, or anything of the sort, so it’d definitely be inaccurate). an au with him id definitely do, though! (with that hair of his my mind is already forming a 90s band au, guitarist!capa x singer!reader story…)

again thank u so much for these questions!! i feel like i rarely get to chat to u guys so this was well appreciated😄🫶thank you so much for reading, for sending these questions in, and for being an overall sweetheart, anon!

[naturenaruto]

ksjdjsjdjd just saw a post about how 0-29 is the ~prologue~~ of ur life and how ur life doesnt ~Reyally™️~ start until ur 30.....and how ppl are just gOiNg To Be smarter more attractive more talented more comfortable over 30.........listen im 31 and let me tell you i would rather have been attractive talented comfortable with myself etc BACK WHEN I WAS A CHILD A TEENAGER AND IN MY 20S OKAY I DONT WANT MY LIFE TO JUST B E G I N AT FUCKINF 30 i wantes my life to begin at 0!!!!!! at 1 day old!!!!!! at 5!!!!! at 10!!!!!! at 15!!!!!! at 20!!!!!! fucking even 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish i had been hot and talented and comfortable younger, because then that means you can ~~~get started~~~ sooner and have so much more time more experiences less time waiting to Become™️~~.........i really hate this new trend of people saying ur life starts at 30 theres really something so grody about that to me like they try to make it seem encouraging but it seems like they just want you to cosntantly keep waiting waiting waiting for ur life to begin and then BY THE TIME IT DOES its too late its already fuckin over i donr want to be a fucking 50 year old with a sports car i wanted to be a 25 year old with a car, did not have to be luxury. i wanted to be happy with the way i looked as a teen and in my 20s, what the fuck do i care now that im over 30? i wanted to be attractive in my youth because thats when it actually fucking matters i dont enjoy the fact that so much of the problems i had were because no one would help me and i didnt have the money or the awarenes to help myself which is complicated ofc but its not like life is about being hot im just saying i really resent the fact that i wasnt hot when i was young because THATS WHEN YOU WANT TO BE HOT. WHEN UR YOUNG. i look back on my teen years and my 20s and go wow it wouldve benefitted me a whole lot more to have money and be attractive and be more comfrotable with myself than now...after 30........like its great that it FINALLY happens but wouldnt you have rather. ot had crippling anxiety and been able to just go out ans have fun in ur youth.......id rather be hot from 13-29 then have it go downhill rather than to just start being hot at 30.....its like those are the Fun Years those are the important years i hate this idea that ur life only starts at 18 or 30 like what the fuck. ur life is continuous lmfao it doesnt just pick a day to start and i wish i had done things a whole lot sooner than waitingwaitingwaitjg until finnnnnallyy i gettttt to begin my life like what the fuck i wish i had been hot and talented and carefree in my 20s rather than in my 30s BECAUSE THAT WAS AN ENTIRE DECADE OF ANXIETY AND STRESS AND MISSING OUT ON EXPERIENCES AND NOT FEELING HAPPY OR COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF so why wouldnt!!!!!!! i want that to start earlier!!! the sooner the better lmao like try to do thigs as soon as posible so that u can enjoy as much time and experienxes as you can dont just wait wait wait until u can finallllly start ur life it reminds me of that shit where they go dont wait to use the good vanilla dont wait to use that candle or that stationary set like use it now!! and i love that bc i think theres something wrong with telling ppl to keep on waiting for their life to begin bc it takes somuch time and experienxes from them and it puts them on a staved off backburner and then theyre finally too old to really enjoy things like yay i have a sports car...but im 50 and what people are gonna fuckin care about that? like i finaly achieved it but its so late???? how can u enjoy it if ur old....like yay i finally get to go on that tropical vacation but ur 55??????? like what does that ecen matter anymore lmaooo like yay i finally get to travel the world.....after retiremenr?????? in my fucking 60s???? when i have to stop every ten minutes to catch my breath and my whole body aches and i cant just run around and be carefree and enjoy????

i wanted good health and to like the way i looked and to be doing something interesting in the beginning of my life, not the fucking end.

i wish i had gotten thingns done sooner and not waited so that i wouldve had so much more time and experiences. ur youth is the time that matters anyone who says ohhh ur life is just beggingi g at 30~~~ hee hee is suspicious to me like why do i have to wait? until im too old to care? too old to feel like i can still do things? too old to have a wild time? ur suppsoed to do that in ur teens and 20s, thats what that time is for. anyone whos like ohhh just waiiiit for it is conniving to me like why cant i go have fun and be what i want and do what i want now? why do i have to wait? and its because they dont want you to do the things you want they want to stave u off so that by the time you DO get around to it itll feel like its too late and theres no point

they want you to just wait so that youl end up changing ur mind and feel like well youths over theres no point and thats why......they dont want yoy to be young and carefree having fun they want u to be stressed and workworkwork until ur miserable and by the time u finally!!! get that car or house or plastic surgery or vacation then ur old and bitter and it wont even fucking matter any more and thsts wha they want! to ruin ur youth and childhood so that u dont have fun and it wastes ur potential

they dont want you to be carefree they want u on the grind worked to the bone fixated on until whenever yoy finaly get to ~start~ living ur life!!!!!!

its a scam!!!!

ur life is 0-30 thise are the inportant years anyone who says otherwise us just trying to ruin ur youth and tell u that thise years dont matter, they dont even count, theyre not important, only sfter ur 30 and have a career house mortgage marriage baby #1 THENNNN ur life finally begins and hmmmmmmmm why would they say that????? huhh?????

because they think the only shit that matters is work marriage baby baby baby baby baby

thats all they want from you, ur production value

work work work and then make baby baby baby

so ofc ur lifes gonna start after 30 thats what they want bc by then its all over snyways

they dont want you to see ur youth as important they want it to be as awkward and stressful and boring and unsatisfying as possible, so that u just feel like u have to waitwaitwait until ur finally able to begin actually living, which, convieniently enough, is only going to start AFTER its really over!!!!! they dont want u to know this

they just want youth to be uncomfrotable and stressful when it should be the best time of ur life

i wish i had been thinfs and done things sooner. i refuse to fall for the bullshit of ohhh it doesnt reyallllly start until ur 18/21/30/etc. like it starts from fuckin day one id rather have a sports car and be attractive and doing things in my 20s rather than my 40s. thats when it matters.

they just want you to waste ur youth waiting

because then ur not at ur full potential and ur limited and unhappy then thats how they get you

it matters so muchmore in ur youth pls dont waste ur teenage years waiting for life to start

[taeyamayang]

hahah yeap everyday unfortunately. on good days though it only takes about an hour 20 or an hour & a half so i cross my fingers & hope for the best each time lol 😄. it ends in August which seems long to me but i'm hoping these months will pass by in a flash 😆. other than the travel time, the work culture & environment is not so bad so i guess that's a plus, but, you never really know what life has in store for you ╮(︶︿︶)╭

i'm in mech engineering! it does include math but if im being honest not much of it is being used rn 😬🫣

congrats on graduating omg!! idk why but that is so you to be studying even after graduating and going to grad school. i wish you all the best and good vibes in your exams~

ahhh i took japanese lessons too! didn't get to finish it bc the classes were always full (╥_╥) i rmb getting excited every lesson bc it was a chance for me to show off my verymediocreveryelementarylearntfromanime pronounciation skills to my sensei ＼(＾▽＾)／ (yeah it nvr went well but she'll always say i did a great job👍😭). i hope you have fun learning the language as much as i did and maybe if i find the courage to pick up my notes again we'll be able to talk in 日本語 . . .(・・ ) ?. jokes aside, what's your favourite part about learning this language so far?

i've heard sooo many people talking about genshin lately. i'm not a big fan of rpgs (actually very bad at them) so i tend to observe from the side. what do you like the most about the game? and ofc i have to ask this, who's your favourite character?

as for me, i'm currently in love with yakuza 0! its my first of the series and i'm enjoying it to the fullest. i've been playing on the weekends to release some stress & it's the perfect antidote for me. i mean come on, it even has a karaoke and disco dancing minigame!

anyways, take care my love. remember to drink water and take your vitamins. you are loved <3

🌻 (p.s missed you too lol)

lmao its so funny that i was so shocked of your travel time when i suddenly remember that during my senior year i used to inter for a company outside the city so i literally have to cross borders before the crack of dawn which was wild bc how did i survive that?? anyway, it was just a month a half or two so it wasn't much. the job was okay too so fatigue all came from the commute (tho reading a book durinf a long ride kept me company, maybe you should try it to!) i'm glad that the work didn't add to your problems tho i'm sure you can handle anything thrown at you ;) and yes i agree, nature has its way of rocking our steady boats but im sure youll be able to cope and overcome it (if it gets too tough always rmbr that my asks is always open for rants!)

really?? i have this belief that engr have to solve math problems their entire lives and i just 😭 (i have math traumas, its speaking loudly rn lol) idk why too but "studying after uni and going to grad school is so you" makes me feel happy lmaooo. well, you are right that is so me ig i love keeping myself busy plus idk it may should rlly weird coming from me but... learning can be fun too 😭 i lit sound nerdy rn but who cares 😭

OMG REALLY! THATS SOOO FUN japanese people are very respectful so ig thats why your sensei always praises you or perhaps you were good. contrary, my sensei was sassy 🥶 lmaooo he points out mistakes and is very particular with pronunciation and clarity of words so when we recite in class it always gives me the nervesss. the only time i was able to connect my classes to anime is through the characters names like yuki means snow and yuki from fruits basket has gray-white hair and is deemed cold or yoru means night asa means morning and that shows the duality of yoru and asa in chainsaw man lol smth like that. WE SHOULD! lmaoooo tho i am not fluent in N5 i got to warn you ahead of time!! im not sure about my favorite part bc i enjoyed it sm lol i love learning languages, to begin with, so altho it gave me a high blood pressure whenever were to recite in class i enjoyed it sm heh how about you? あなたは 日本語 べんきょう たのしいですか。lololol

if you ever pick up genshin or smth YOU GOTTA TELL ME alright? cause im willing to guide you all the way and share the obsession lmaoo my fave characters... god theres A LOT but i mainly played genshin for zhongli and venti and later on liked itto tighnari and kaveh. you dont have to be good at rpgs bc coming from a no brainer in games, dude im surviving lol wait wait so yakuza 0 is a game? where do you play it? karaoke and mini dance games oooo that sounds interesting. tell me more about it and u might find a buddy

you are always so sweet. i hope the same and more for you too sunflower anon :)

take care! love seeing u here :D

[jimimn]

HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[uniformbravo]

a bunch of winter 2020 anime first impressions from Me

Koisuru Asteroid / Asteroid In Love

ok ive already professed my love for this one so i wont get too much into it but basically it’s Extremely cute & im way invested in the two (HOPEFULLY romantic) leads bc their relationship is so sweet so far aaaaaaa

like do u SEE this shit im actually tearing up hgnfhrognfghdjfnjg

this show is Pretty and Cute and Space-Themed and Probably Gay what more do u Need. i love it 10/10

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

so fucken good, this is the one i was most excited for based purely on the art style/animation and god did it deliver, everything is such a treat to look at i fuckin LOVE a setting w/ just as much personality as the characters

and My Goodness the Characters, 3 distinct girls w/ strong designs & personalities that aren’t like super moe/catered to cishet dudes heLLO

we Love a gremlin protag & her chaotic neutral best friend & the “fuck you dad i want to make anime” dreamer they meet........

also HELL YEAH it’s about making anime and they don’t even use that as a gimmicky set piece, the art is a huge part of the story and the detail with which it’s explored in the first ep gives me high hopes for the rest of the show aaaaa so excited to see where this one goes after that BANGER of a first episode

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

switching gears to a less great one lol..... so the thing is this show’s visual aesthetic absolutely fucking slaps in a way that’s so rare to see in a sea of samey anime art styles, like the character designs are unique and everything is so damn colorful, the backgrounds alone blow me away w/ how fuckin Pretty they are??? LOOK at this shit

and just. this show has a lot of stylistic flourishes that make it like 100/100 Certified Good-To-Look-At Anime

which makes every other aspect of the show that much more disappointing lmaoooo like ok i can deal w/ a mediocre story if the visuals slap, which they Do, but also these characters look 10 & we’re doing the whole sexualizing minors thing which fucking BLOWS it’s so uncomfortable to watch........... i feel like it’s one of those things where they’re trying to justify it by being like “o well hanako’s like a thousand year old spirit or whatever so he’s not REALLY underage” but fuckin. fuck off he looks and sounds like a Young Boy yall know what ur doing ugh

it’s not a thing that happens Constantly throughout the episode, really just a few moments here and there, but it is in the op pretty prominently so i feel like it’s gonna be a Thing that keeps happening so idk if i’ll stick w/ this one in particular which is a Damn Shame bc it really is such a gorgeous looking show im mad

number24

ok ngl just from the character designs alone i rly didn’t think this one was gonna make as good a first impression as it did??? i guess the huge ensemble cast of pretty boys reminded me of last season’s actors: songs connection, which uh. was Not great,

so i went into it totally expecting it to be all shitty but it rly surprised me, i found it so intriguing? the characters are actually really endearing so far...... i love how it doesn’t try to shove the entire cast in our faces in the v first ep but instead starts out w/ a small handful and lets us spend a lil time w/ them while only giving assorted Hints and passing impressions of the others, that was nice

also love how very not “generic sports anime” it is right off the bat by dropping us right into the middle of these characters’ story instead of doing the whole “bright-eyed first year joins the team and fights his way to the top” sorta deal- which you’d think would be a confusing and awkwardly paced approach but in this case is handled surprisingly well, especially because it seems like it’s gonna have a lot more elements of a character drama than a straight up classic sports anime (which i am Super here for)

(there is a lot of rugby in the op though so we’ll see how things go, it’s only been 1 ep after all)

the air drop into the characters’ established lives makes introductions a lot more organic as well; since the characters are already familiar with each other we don’t have to sit around watching everyone introduce themselves to the protag, we get to infer their relationships and general opinions of each other through their various interactions & it’s a thousand times more engaging imo!!

i mean we do have this other first year joining as a manager and our protag did deliberately say he learned everyone’s names/info after deciding to become a manager so im sure we’ll be getting those character introductions anyway, but well. we’ll cross that bridge if/when we come to it

also i believe this takes place in college rather than high school?? i couldn’t pay attention to every detail but i definitely got that kind of vibe in which case Hell Yeah another welcome deviation from the norm babeeyyyy (i just checked and it Is college yeehaw)

basically what im saying is im tired of tropes & number24 just no clipped past the first 25 chapters of the sports anime formula and also it’s set in university AND it seems to be character-driven & im living thanks thank u

Pet

ok ill be honest i completely forgot that i watched this one lmaooo (which should give u a hint as to what i thought of it *thinking emoji*)

the art style’s whatever and the animation’s whatever, nothing special there. the show is like, dark?? more stupid than dark idk it feels a little bit “welcome to my twisted mind” but the twist is homophobia w/ a mild side of ableism, and also an entire episode of suspense wondering if im gonna have to watch this black side character die (he doesn’t, so there’s that at least)

honestly i cant even remember what drew me to this show enough to put it in my plan to watch, i guess the premise sounded interesting enough (something about controlling minds and erasing memories?), but mature psychological shows usually aren’t really my scene, especially when they’re executed.... Like That. i did kind of enjoy the twist at the end, mildly, though i feel like it was pretty obvious in hindsight and the only reason i didn’t see it coming is bc i can be astoundingly shortsighted when it comes to things like that (aka im DUMB)

since it took until the very end of the episode to Really introduce our dynamic duo tho, i feel like this ep was more of a prologue than anything and the Real show is gonna begin in ep 2, which is great n all but uh. idk if i care enough to give that a watch tbhhhh. i might just to see what the show has to offer but really truly honestly cant see myself sticking this one thru to the end lmao rip

--

hate to end on a bummer note like that but hey that’s all i got for this post ! i have more shit to watch so i’ll probably end up making like a part 2 w/ more impressions but this is getting long enough that it’s becoming kind of a pain to keep adding more so thats it for now boiyoeiyeoii

[b-ap]

[181117] B.A.P Forever Tour in Philadelphia - Highlight of my Life

This was really one of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. Despite being skeptical of JSJ from the beginning, I was still willing to risk it and buy the tickets. I was debating for a while to drop $400 or not for m&g but when you think about it, it was only $30 per photo with each of the boys (+ a hat, hoodie, and whistle) so that’s HELLA worth it.  So I dropped nearly $600 for this concert but for real it was SO worth it. I was even willing to go down by bus all by myself and possibly wandering the streets of philly late at night for it but luckily was able to catch a ride! 

These two BABYz gave out numbers from the very beginning like they marked down if you were plat or baby package and in the end JSJ and fans actually honored them! It was really great cuz we were able to leave the line to go to the bathroom or get food! BABYz around me were so nice and friendly too ;u; When it was time to go in to soundcheck and for the concert, we all actually got in order! It was REALLY nice like wow thank you philly babyz!! We were let in a little late for soundcheck cuz apparently bap was doing some kind of interview?? As for soundcheck, it was sooOOOoooOOO good!!! They kinda mixed up plat and baby but oh well whatever I still got like 3rd row so *^* WOOHOO! The stage was up really high and the venue was quite small, but philly crowd’s passion was explosive and powerful!! At the beginning of soundcheck Zelo kept like peeking out from the backstage door *^* they were ODing the fog machine so you could only see silhouettes at the door sometimes OTL. Daehyun was the first to come out! He came in this big puffer jacket and had earphones and and was smiling so cutely!! That wonderful wonderful kitty smile!! OH MY HEART PLEASE HAVE MERCY!! And then the others came out! <3 Zelo was wearing like PJ pants lmao the same one he wore in that IG pic of him in the truck, jongup was wearing leather (i think.....), himchan wore the tour hoodie, and youngjae wore a long coat. BUT YEAH the first song they did was TMJ and the crowd was hella LIT!!! Like everyone was singing their lungs out and jumping and being really really excited! We all started jamming out hardcore at the very first note of TMJ and I just knew it was about to be epic. BAP was sooo happy!! They really enjoyed it as well!  And then they did DWIF and omfg daehyun was soooo cute cuz we were so loud during the OH!! part that he was like :O!!!!! and gave us two thumbs up!! The others were really happy too!! And then Zelo was controlling the crowd with his hands LOL like he was making us go side to side like a wave and then jongup was doing this weird dance too lmaooo we hyped up each other so much! It was soo much fun ;A; too bad we couldn’t record but JSJ got a ( video )~!! Like just listen to BABYz singing along at the beginning!! ( dh shocked at 0:41, thumbs up at 0:51)

We had to go back outside again after the concert and that’s when the line got a little messy since now there was also GA peeps and the sidewalk is only so big to fit like 3 different lines. But it worked out in the end and we got in order!! AND YA GIRL GOT FCKN 2ND ROW HEEEEEEEEELLLL YEAHH!! I had a GREAT view!! There was actually quite a lot of space and like NO pushing!! (except this one bishhhh but whatever that’s another story -.- i’ll delete her from my memory) But wow pit was fCKN great like wow the fanchants!! The whistles!! NO PUSHING!! LIKE WHAT WOOOW I LOVE YOU (this was an all standing venue btw). When we were waiting for the concert to start, they played a bunch of their songs and everyone was scream-singing the lyrics (well more like trying to LOL we can’t korean) We had our own bap concert with an empty stage lmaooo 

AND AHHHH BAP WAS SOOOO GOOD AT FANSERVICE!!! Himchan noticed me like several times i fucking cRy!! He looked and waved at mee TWICE and like gestured to focus on zelo for recording and taking pics when it was his part AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like last year he saw me struggling in pit (cuz that was HELL) and looked worried I CRY and he smiled at me too huuuhuuu himchan youre a fckn angel I LOVE YOU!!! I made a half heart at daehyun and hE FCKN COMPLETED IT I WAS ABOUT TO FCKN DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! JOngup threw so many hearts and kisses at the crowd and youngjae blew so many kisses!! They were waving as much as possible to fans and daehyun, bless his heart, kept saying thank you!!thank you!! at any chance he could get!

During Q&A, bap spent the longest time arguing about harry potter houses pmsl and then yj was just like idk i never watched it (shame on you bro) and then himchan was like EXPECTRO PATRONUM!! (nerrRRRddddd). Jongup said he was fckn Dobby like bruH thats not even a house!!! YJ was like forget this!! and said, “PASS!!” Himchan said that he was Slytherin and then jongup said that Himchan would be fkcn Snape and did this dramatic coat sweeping straightening up his back thing LOL so himchan said Jongup would be a muggle pmsl Zelo did like a broom riding imitation??? irdk.... Next question was what was your favorite song that you’ve ever made. Jongup answered Photo and sang a little of it (so then where is the studio version biiSHHHhh) but lol BABYz were like SEXY CLAP!!!!!! Youngjae pulled out a question, looked at it and was like NOPE! and put it back pmsl! The next question was what tricks can Mochii do and then youngjae was frckn like body slamming zelo and jongup lmaooo. Zelo was sooooo cute he was telling the story of how Mochii bit in all in English!! He said how he was eating and was struggling to explain that Mochii was under the table so BABYz were helping him! He said that he dropped cheese and then Mochii went to eat it but Zelo tried to stop him. Mochii bit and and then Zelo was like “ooh! bloood! my dog is ...wildlife” but the way he said blood was soo cute like the oo in moon instead of “blud”  This sweet precious boy!! His English was so good!!!! The next question was to sing happy birthday to a BABY named Jenny (wow you LUCKY girl im sooo jelly omfg). So Zelo sings her hbd really dramatically lmao and they give her their sweaty towel and Zelo gave her a water bottle too!! They’re so sweet!!!!!!! 

During their other talk segment, Youngjae was like since our tour in america, philly has been the most passionate! So we all SCREAMED and cheered like crazy! Daehyun was like hold up!! AGAIN! and went to grab a phone. He made us all scream and cheer again so he could record it. The boys kept gesturing to scream louder and more and were totally enjoying the cheers! I hope we conveyed our love for them well enough!! Also Daehyun release that footage soon pls!!! He told us we did a good job screaming lmaoo! Youngjae kept making sounds for us to repeat lmao like ooOOoooo (idk how to describe it LOL) and then was like “maestro!” when trying to silence us with his fingers like a conductor LOL but we kept screaming things LOL someone was like “this is my first kpop concert!!” so youngjae was like “sounds good!” and gave a thumbs up. Jongup also did the conductor thing hahahah Daehyun promised to come back again next year and I REALLY REALLY hope that they do!!!! 

The solos were beyond amazing. Like rewatching youngjae and daehyun’s solos made me tear up like how do such beautiful voices exist in this world? Did I really hear those ethereal voices in real life? It was sooo mesmerizing and breathtaking! Youngjae’s gorgeous baritone voice singing that smooth ballad huuuhuuu my heEArt!!! Daehyun’s heartwrenchingly beautiful voice, song, and lyrics wow let me just lie down and drown in my tears rn bYE! DaeUp’s duet was so cool, Jongup’s TML was perfect as usual, Zelo’s solo was sinful oh my those hip and that peach *blushes* it was suuuper fun and Zelo enjoyed it a LOT too!!! He lifted up his shirt!! 

THEN IT WAS M&G TIME!!! They set up the background right in front of the stage. We lined up to go in and bap was standing like: jongup, youngjae, daehyun, himchan, zelo! It was plat individual photos first, then baby group + hi-touch, then plat group + hi-touch. BABYz really went for it!! Like a lot of us got hugs! We were able to watch the whole m&g but they didnt let us have our phones out ;A; (and I also had used up all 6.5 GB of space on my phone OTL) BAP were SOOOOOOOO sweet UGH we stan literal ANGELS!! They love BABYz so fricken much!! JSJ was sooo nice to allow a lot of fan interactions AHHHHHHHH BAP did a lot of cute poses and played around with BABYz! LEt mE TELL YOU THAT BAP IS SERIOUSLY SOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MESMERIZING, UP CLOSE HOW DID MY HEART EVEN SURVIVE?????? I GOT TO BEAR HUG EVERYONEEEE THEYRE ALL SO TALL AND IM HELLA SMOL SO THEY HAD TO SQUAT DOWN FOR ME HUUHUU THYE LIKE PATTED MY BACK DURING THE HUGS TOO AHHHHHH WE HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME WITH ALL OF THEM!!! I TOLD DAEHYUN I SAW HIM IN KOREA IN ASU AND HE WAS LIKE OOOOOH THANK YOU!!! CURSES TO MY TINY AF VOICE CUZ I DONT THINK THEY ALL EVEN REALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID SOMETIMES!!! I told Zelo he was too tall for me lmaooo I really wanna see how much he had to bend down for me! I seriously wished that my m&g was recorded but :((((((((((( After my m&g I legit squealed and hugged my friend lmao but the staff yelled at us for being too loud LMAO BUT GIRL WE JUST HUGGED FCKN KINGS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried to contain ourselves as much as possible LOL Daehyun said thank you out loud to a lot of BABYz after their m&g! Zelo kept dabbing at BABYz lmaooo a lot of them didnt notice tho cuz he would do it after they had already passed him HAHAHA when it was my hi-touch I dabbed at Zelo hahah and he dabbed back :D I wanted to get a group hug from them but i got too excited and FUCKING FORGOT to ask for a group hug *kicks myself* Now I wish I had written my name on a name tag (like “HI I’M JUNIE”) and hope they wouldve said “HI JUNIE”  but I didnt OTL 

I really wish I could relive the whole day. I wish I was able to record my m&g and got a group hug or them to say my name or I had said something more to them but it’s ok my heart is very very happy and I love bap soo much. My 7 year love for them continues and I will really love them forever. Let’s meet again soon, my loves! I’m looking forward to then~! 

[mariaaamaaarquez]

the first one ?

so I guess I wanna get back into writing since I've decided to start this... blog? ugh idddk that sounds so corny buuuuut its fine ?lmaooo. well I guess I wanna do one of these a week, based on what crazy shit is going on in my life at the moment so that way I can eventually go back and reminisce like the corny bitch I am. QUICK WARNING this is probably the most raw and vulnerable I could possibly get. so let’s get into it I guess? currently its monday august 19th 5:41 pm and I don't think theres a better way for me to talk or feel like im talking to someone than for me to start writing again. all of middle school and freshmen and sophomore year, I would keep journals and I would always write in them. it was a way of me expressing myself when I felt lonely, or isolated. Ive been feeling that way recently, and surprisingly, a part of me is okay with that. for all the hispanics out there, Como dice mi mama, “mejor estar sola que mal acompañada.” does it get shitty at times? yes. fuck yes. but mostly because as summer’s coming to a close, im really starting to realize, the people I left high school with aren't always gonna be there- they aren't now. things are changing- soooo damn fast. and I don't know how I could possibly be so sad, but yet so happy about it. currently on a 50-50 ledge on whether I’m going to Central or staying in Renton for 2 more years and then transferring. it’s rough because of how many factors play into each scenario. but I am so ready to get out of here. yes the thought of staying home sounded nice at first, but it was also for the people here, but now it seems like the only people who care that are here are my parents, and of course my little brother. the rest of my family cares too obviously, but its not that big of a deal to them, right? other than that, it genuinely feels like theres nothing left for me here. is that sad? because I don't feel extremely sad, its.. bittersweet.

in high school they always told us “enjoy your teenage years, as soon as you walk out of these halls one last time, you won’t ever get to go back.”

As much as I hate to say it, the old people were right.

and don’t even get me started on boys, and however I would say that shit’s going for me right now. let’s just say- tough. extremely tough.

as for everything else, I spend my free time watching netflix or hulu, doing my basic hood rat shit here and there, staying home, and talking to my best friend, (who for some reason is still there and still puts up with me, even though- thats a different story..) he's the best. Life is really good, aside from some of my sad moments, because theres always the sad moments. I miss camp, so much, & I’m still searching for my person that will make me feel like I’m at mt. oly every fucking day. ill find out soon if I’m leaving or staying, and a new chapter will begin. until then, I’ll update soon, oh and if you're still here reading, welcome to my life.

besitos,

ria.

[snickiebear]

OHMYGOD SNICKIE I—

so i just finished going through your index and OH MY GOD??? i wish i’d done that earlier *facepalms*

thanks for the tip, i kinda see now who the shadows were referring to… 😉😉😉 (but not all because im slightly stupid)

BUT ALSO akdjbshdj im so glad ur open to the prequel idea and if it does happen i’ll be in the front row seat with hearts in my eyes 😍 what’s even crazier was that i was reading the war chapter in the index and i had to take maybe seven pauses because my imagination was considering the many possibilities!!! and i know i said prequel but oh my god this whole world you’ve built can be like whole series on its own — and im not yet even thinking about what’s going to happen post-OL&W!!! it’s just me thinking about the characters’ stories during the violent era, the first guild war, and the second guild war!!! i-

i seriously can’t even—

i’m gonna try to articulate my thoughts but if you can imagine smoke bombs exploding into vague plot lines, that’s what’s happening in my head right now so apologies in advance for the mess (also im going backwards lol):

Second guild war — hypothetically,,,, if there were an itasakushi era sometime in the history of men falling on their feet for sakura, i believe the itasakushi would have developed in the course of this war, although they may have been acquainted with each other earlier. common enemy: danzo, and what better way to wreak havoc and violence than to have him die by the hands of this (im calling it) legendary trio (but that’s also because im quite invested in them). the five-year captivity is also a huge plus because i imagine shisui and itachi running around like headless chickens looking for the apple of their cursed uchiha eyes

quick question (if it’s not a spoiler) - which naruto characters would fall under thundersins? ibiki is the guildmaster, so does that mean his guild is composed of t&i people? im not quite sure who (in the naruto-verse) can get fooled by danzo into waging this war…

First guild war — can u tell us who was the mage who killed a witch? who was the witch? what were they fighting about??? was it a serious badass battle? were they secretly friends?? lovers??? did danzo have anything to do with this??? or maybe hanzo??? HOLY SHIT WOULD THE AME CHARACTERS BE INVOLVED HERE??? AKATSUKI??? but it’s ok if it’s still a secret… we can go detective on this one

speaking of ame and the other nations in the canonverse — will they also be part of this au? i mean we’ve already seen suna folks in OL&W but maybe like chojuro from kiri and other notable characters from the other hidden villages?

And to the violent era — using canonverse as basis, this would most likely be the counterpart of the hashirama-madara founding a village arc and/or the period before that, since they were also just fighting to death and using child soldiers. but actually im more curious about the guild wars than this era unless something dramatic happened lol other than the self-indulging satisfaction of blood thirst 🤣🤣🤣 im just really more invested when sakura is around. i would say tho, the lore is still interesting because im quite curious as to why the beginning is violent? was it because the gods had a fallout and all they really knew was to be violent about it? if it’s something similar, i’m getting a little bit of mythology-percy jackson vibes (which i LOVE) so Y A Y

ok so that’s basically me vomitting my smoke bomb thoughts *deep breaths* P H E W thank you AGAIN for the brain workout 🥰 it feels nice to lose myself in this world hahaha! you don’t really have to answer my questions; i literally just typed what’s on my mind 😂 INDEX WAS AWESOME! it’s like super clues to the mystery that lead to MORE mystery so yeahp you have just seen the effects on my mind

so sorry to hear about how your day was faring! i’m grateful my ask came to you at the right time. 🥰 i was actually worried about not sliding in your inbox earlier because i already saw that there was a new chapter but it was only then that i had time to check it out. i’m glad i was able to uplift your spirits even just for a little while 💕💕💕

i hope you have a better rest of the week ahead! ❤️❤️❤️

P.S. i cant believe u think my joke was top tier, im seriously bad at cracking jokes irl so thank you for believing in my limited-to-no-successful-experience in joke making

🐱

🐱🐱🐱🐱!!!!!!

LMFAOOOO don’t worry if you don’t figure it out now :) it’ll all be revealed in due time!! Honestly?? Since you brought up the prequel thing i have been thinking not-fucking-stop about how else the world coud be explored. Like?? There is SO MUCH GOING ON!!!

we have the whole Inuzuka tribe, the different temples, so many different characters... there is so many rocks to turn over!!!

OKAY SECOND GUILD WAR ITASAKUSHI YES. we are on the same wavelength 🐱, bc i was thinking the same thing. They would probably meet during GW2 and hit it off pretty well. 1) because Shisui is one charming motherfucker, and 2) Itachi would def draw Sakura in with his smooth humor. Plus, as reclusive as Sakura is in this, she does enjoy being friends with them.

“shisui and itachi running around like headless chickens looking for the apple of their cursed uchiha eyes” this imagery fucking killed me. Oh my god. THATS SO FUNNY WTF

(okay so in the OG draft of OM&G it starts with saku not knowing any of the boys and meeting them for the first time. she knew sakumo [who was dead in this one] and itachi + shisui [they were close friends].

and sasuke was being a total asshole [as usual] and sakura shuts him up with telling him that she's slept with both itachi and shisui. and then all three of them together. to which sasuke has an ANEURYSM LMFAO

but in this one, ItaSakuShi DEF goes on missions together after GW2 and totally fuck and get drunk and hang out. its verified, it has happened, i am comfirming this.)

Ok so!!!! Thundersins would consist mainly of non clan people in Nart. So, Lee, Tenten, Gai, Anko, Genma, ect. Though, we won’t be seeing Gai, Genma, or Anko until much, much later :) Though, Shisui is a part of the Thundersins guild, because he’s just more suited for assassinations rather than wizarding.

so basically, i'm just kind of putting people wherever i think they'd be suited best!

Danzo himself is a tricky bastard and at the time of GW2, Thundersins is still a relatively “new” guild, and they’re mainly human at this point, meaning that they were the weakest guild. It mostly comes down to the fact that Danzo, the manipulative asshole, was able to get their aid. He kept the entire kidnapping a secret for years (i’m estimating at least fifty or so) because the war and then it came to light by some spies or sum

As for the first guild war LMFAO i have absolutely no idea at all which mage killed what witch, i didn’t really think about it tbh! Maybe it was one of sakura’s bullies,,, LMAO honestly? I’ll leave all of that lore to you!!! I like keeping some details vague just so readers can take it and RUN AHAHAHHA. So yeah! Maybe they were lovers! And the entire killing was an accident! Who knows!

OKAY SO! This is going to make sound TERRIBLE. But i hadn’t even thought of Mist or Ame or any of the other villages until you said something LMAOOO

Well… the akatsuki plays a HUGE role in the next two fics,, so i can’t really say much about them hehe…

I do love chojuro and mei and haku and just LKSMDANFKSLD yeah. Going to be honest: they totally slipped my mind which is awful. Head in hands frfr. But i can tell you this:

Mei would be a mage, Chojuro would be either an assassin or a mage… one of the two… haku and zabuza are assassins. Ao would probably be a wizard too.

As for the other Jinchūrikis,,,, you’ll have to wait for the next two (if i have...write them… haha..)!

THE VIOLENT ERA! And yes! So, this is basically the time where the Living are the most… animalistic? Especially since the gods’ “fallout” as you call it! Thepheria served as a balance to both Peace and War, she is Balance in the very sense of the word so… if something happens to her, the entire world goes into cause and it can take a long time for it to find equilibrium!

Nothing huge happened here, this was like the “stone age” of this world and very self indulgent with the whole savagery of it, but also highlighting that deep, deep down these Living (and humans) are angry and violent at their cores. Its their roots and no matter how they progress, it will always come back to war and bloodshed.

AND OMG!! A FELLOW CAMP HALF BLOOD CAMPER HELLO!!!! I love pjo so much!!!! My first series that got me loving fiction and the worlds we can build!!!

I’m so glad you liked the index!!! Its both for you and me because half the time i can’t keep track of what information i want to use/verified so… it keeps me consistent (because i am horrible at it LMAO)

Please don’t ever worry about sliding in here “late”!!! Life is busy and the chapters are a little long, plus time will always keep marching on (omg that rhymed)! And! Please don’t feel obligated to come scream with me! Just knowing that you’re enjoying my work is enough to fuel me!!! :))))))

I feel you on the jokes 🐱, i am not funny irl at all HAHAAHA but your joke was hilarious, im crackin up just thinking about it LMFAOOO

Have a great week 🐱!!!!!! <33333333

[treveesamoe-blog]

august 20th 2018

i got back from hawaii this morning. alot has happeneed since my last entry  and a lot is soon to be happened. in two days exactly because thats when i move into my apartment and start my sophomore year at lmu. i honestly cant remember what it was like to be in college or go to school. i always say and think this but i feel so different now. i feel like im just in the passenger seat of life letting it take me wherever it feels. i feel like there isnt control and ive given up trying to harnass it the way i envision it. im tired. im bleh. i dont allow myself to be sad or mad or happy or anything. id say most of my present is dedicated to anxiety. for a month now on and off ive had this awful wobbly like im on a boat feeling. imm convinced it has something to do with my inner ear. but i also just think its a perfect storm too. i have too much sodium in my diet (my world famous top ramen really did that), i dont eat enough protein or enough in general, im detoxing my body from 2 years of weed abuse plus adderall plus nicotine plus coke. and i was surfing in rough waves and driving to high elevations and back down to sea level and then back up and then down and then through curvy roads on the road to hana. and i start school in a few days and im nervous about what its gonna be this year. at the same time im kinda just like well summer is gonna end and its all gonna be over soon no matter my feelings so why not just let this wave take me wherever. im not sure if this is a healthy mindset. i just wanna live in the present. like in SKAM when isak says “life is now”. life is in this moment that im writing this entry. life is in the now. and im determined to keep myself in the now not floating to the darkest or most nostalgic parts of my past or the fears or expecations of my future. im just gonna enjoy what is around me now. whenever now is. thats my goal.

i picked up my “HEAT” bomber jacket from grandma today and we ended up looking through her moms and grandma’s memory boxes. hard to put into words how meaningful that was. family really is everything. i love my grandma and ive realized she deserves to be protected from my demons, even if i dont always see them that way. see look im actually honest in these entries lol. i have such a rough choice ahead of me telling her and my dad. i just want to enjoy how it is now before i taint it with who i was born to love. i choose my grandma over unhealthy worldy desires. i want to make her proud. and that means not settling, but finding my guy. someone im proud of and that lifts me up. hes out there and i know hes fun and cute and happy and i know hes waiting for me too. i trust the universe will bring me to him when the time is right and the stars align haha. for now im just gonna focus on my health and school. love can come find me. and i know it will not when im waiting for my life to begin but when im running with it. 

in other universe news, i prayed that the universe would put a boy in my life and it HAPPENED lmaoo. honestly doesnt even seem real that it happened but it really did. so this guy chris that i met on tinder (lol i know tinder gross stupid dum whatever but hey, it put him on my radar and im not complaining). anyways he was at the same resort town as me in maui this past week with all his friends! how crazy is that! hes the one guy thats been on my mind for a while now and we both end up in hawaii right next to eachother at the same time?? thats freaky universe stuff right there idc. hes going to lmu next year which im excited about but not too excited lol we know what happened with instagram matt last year when i got too hyped. so im just keeping this one as a friend.he even called it a “perfect start to a magical friendship” lmaooo. ok but the tea is that ive been saying to katherine that i wanna be friends with him at lmu. so at least were on the same page about (even though he beat me to it the little bitch haha). it was fun though hanging out with him. i mean it took me getting caught sneaking out and getting yelled at and having my sister and my mom guard the door at night and curfews but hey i got to spend a few hours with him and it was so easy. hes cute too. not that great of a nose but i actually dont even care. great eyes. and hes funny. i just feel like its always awkward with guys like occidental matt where i can barely stand the awkward tension between us. occidental matt is perfect for me looks wise but when i take that away im annoyed by him haha. he isnt funny (or at least my kind of funny.. which by the way is hilarious like if u dont think im funny then ur stupid sorry) and hes boooorriiingggg. and possesive. and moody. blah blah blah i dont need that in my life. i want someone im excited to see. it sucks though cuz im really just not talking to anyone rn. i realized that i just go from one “online boyfriend” to the next because im nervous to not be talking to someone. but thats so weakkk like thats not how i need to live. im choosing to live my own life and love my own self and take care of my self before searching the fake internent for my soul mate. this years about me. about what i can do without drugs and in good health. im determined, and im ready. hahaha okdramatic im always ending these like this. OH WAIT. scatterbrain alert bitch i didnt even finish what happened with chris and his friends. ok so i met him in the lobby and we hugged. we immediatly started talking wiht no awkwardness. he did stumble on his words though at first. i thought it was cute. then we went upand i said hi to his friends and we made cookies with the oreos in the middle and listened to mama mia (gayyyy) and took fireball shots and i drank BEER LOL. then we took the beers on the beach and i bummed a cigarrete off of some rich drunk white ladies. chris said i was smooth. i felt powerful with him,like my full smooth self. likei was light on my feet or something. then we sat at a bench and the softest orange cat walked over to me from far away and let me pet her. ok dont laugh but i really think that was the universe that sent that cat to remind me thats what brought me to that moment. it was like a hello. i just got the chills thinking about that haha im so dramaticcc. then this blonde drunk girl came up to us and we immediatly connected on a spiritual level. she gave me her purple and white lei and she talked about how she couldnt handle her family anymore,but she loves them. then my mom had to pick me up and i said bye to everyone. i guess she smoked chris and his friends out later that night which is so chill haha if only i still smoked weed. i cant beleive that was my life for more than a year. so weird. stoner trevor what a phaseee.

well thats all i got tonight. this was such a scatterbrained shit post but now at least i dont have to worry about forgetting any of this. goodnight future trevor.