#from: shea 💜

[hischiershoe]

HOW'D I MISS THAT YESTERDAY!?!?!

If you'd fancy. It's giving off season. (I vote Nico)

06. platonic sleepovers that somehow ends up with you waking up with their arms around you

we love off season nico so much

no warnings!!! (im shocking myself there has been no angst anywhere), a tiny bit of timo slander but its out of love

When your sister dragged you into the camping trip she was going on with her husband and their friends, you hadn't expected them to make you share a tent with Nico. You begged her to let you cram into their tent, but she was adamant that as the two only single people (a fact she heavily emphasized), the two of you were going to stay in the same tent. Now, it wasn't as if you didn't know him well enough or didn't like him, it was just that you liked him probably a little too much.

In your defense, it was hard to not like him. He was one of the kindest people you had ever met, and he was always willing to go the extra mile for anyone he came across, even strangers. And yeah, he was also pretty attractive.

"You're going to be fine," Your sister stresses as you help her unload the car, "You've known him for years. It's not like it'll be weird or anything."

"Could be worse," Her husband shouts over his shoulder, "You could be sharing with Meier."

The thought alone sends an uncomfortable shiver down your spine.

"What if I slept outside," You shrug your shoulders, following her to the area where all of the others had begun setting up.

"One, we both know he'd never let that happen. And two, I would just make him drag you into the tent after you fall asleep."

You let the conversation end there, choosing to let her delegate small tasks to you while the two of them set up their four-person tent. Nico and his brother were setting up their two tents, which made it easy for you to avoid him until you absolutely couldn't anymore. You even waited until he was far enough away to toss your stuff inside the tent before retreating back to your sister.

She was quick to pick up on what you were doing, and when everyone was settling into their chairs to sit around the fire, she "subtly" suggested Nico sit next to the three of you. She didn't glance in your direction when you narrowed your eyes at her, but you could still see the smug smile on her face.

"Hey," Nico greets as he falls into the chair beside you, beer in one hand and phone in the other.

"Hi," You give him a small smile, "How've you been?"

"Pretty good," He nods, spreading his legs apart as he adjusts his hips in the seat, "Glad to be home for the summer. How have you been?"

"I've been pretty good. I got promoted to associate editor a couple of months ago, so works been a bit busier," You admit, the nerves you were feeling before slowly dissipating as you fall back into normal habits.

"That's awesome! You'll be senior editor before you know it." His tone was genuine and encouraging, and you couldn't help but smile.

By the time everyone was separating off to go to bed, the anxious feeling in your stomach returned in full force. Nico was quick to let you have the tent to change clothes while he stayed outside, and the entire time you were mumbling to yourself in attempt to calm down. I

It was just a tent. Just two people sharing an air mattress in a tent. That's all. It's not a big deal. You can do that.

The sound of someone pulling the zipper down was what caused you to stir, but the warm feeling pressed against the entire front of your body was what really woke you up. Your legs were tangled together with Nico's, one of his arms slung over your waist to keep you snug against his side while yours was stretched out across his abdomen.

You carefully crane your neck to look up at him, and when your gaze finally finds his face, he slowly opens one of his eyes to look at you. Neither of you says anything when you hear the quiet gasp of your sister, and you don't make any indication you're going to separate from each other, either.

"I told you it would work," You hear your sister squeals as she zips the flap back up, "They totally like each other! They're cuddling!"

"Can you shut up," You briefly pop your head up, though Nico's grip on your waist doesn't allow you to move much more than that, "Some of us like to sleep past five!"

Your head falls back to Nico's chest, an annoyed groan slipping through your lips as his absentmindly slips under the material of your shirt. It was a careful, sublte movement, but it made goosebumps rise on your skin and your breath get caught in your throat. The gentle circles his thumb was making against your hip certainly wasn't helping either.

"Morning," He mumbles, his voice deep and heavy from just waking up.

"Not yet," You shake your head against his chest, "I need to sleep a little more before I fight my sister for apparently setting me up."

"Well," He presses his head back into the pillow and closes his eyes, "Go easy on her. It wasn't just her idea."

"No promises- Wait, what?!"

[krirebr]

I Know I Should Know Better 4

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Female Reader, references to past Colin Shea x Female Reader & past Johnny Storm x Female Reader

Word Count: ~3.5k

Summary: Curtis has been working as your body guard for almost two years now. Standing by and watching you work and party your life away is becoming more and more difficult, but is there anything he can do about it?

Warnings: Angst, adult themes, complicated power dynamics, minor age difference (not explicit in this part, but reader is mid-twenties and Curtis is early thirties), drinking & implied drug use, explicit language, bad boyfriend (Colin continues to be awful, even though we haven't actually seen him since part 2), self-destructive behavior, anxiety, negative self-talk. She's still having a bad time, you guys. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Well, here it is! As I currently have it planned, this will be seven parts, so we're officially past the halfway point now. This part's a little shorter, but I'm hoping you'll think it's worth it.

Big thanks to @drabblewithfrannybarnes for helping me nail down the new character here! (If you don't remember doing that Carly, it's because it was ages ago 🤣)

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screaming at me. 😄 As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

The drive to the restaurant was uncomfortable. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was just you. Sitting in the backseat alone, while Curtis and Jensen quietly conversed in the front, you felt ridiculous. You should learn how to drive. You were a grown woman who couldn’t even get herself anywhere—just another way you didn’t know how to be responsible for yourself.

You stared at Curtis in the front seat. It’d been a few weeks since your boundaries conversation. You hadn’t spoken to him much since. He was right. It was better. Cleaner. But you missed being able to talk to him.

Something had changed about the way he watched you though. You would swear that it was more intense now, the way his eyes followed you around the room. And it always seemed like he had something to say, he’d just never say it. He didn’t make any sense.

You took a breath. You were nervous about this lunch. You weren’t entirely sure what the purpose of it was, aside from the fact that Marnie Reynolds had wanted to meet. You hadn’t seen her in years and then she just texted you out of the blue two days ago, asking if you wanted to have lunch. You assumed she was going to pitch you something. Why else would she want to talk? You hoped it’d be something easy to agree to. It would make Wilford and Tanya feel better if someone actively wanted to work with you, at the very least. 

The restaurant wasn’t the kind of place you normally went to. It was nice, but tucked away, not designed for those who wanted to see and be seen. Marnie had chosen it. She was waiting for you at a small table in the back, even more private. She stood as you approached and enveloped you in a warm hug. She was just as glamorous as you remembered, suddenly hit by memories of sitting in her trailer while she let you try on her jewelry. She’d always been so nice to you. “Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you,” she said as you both sat down. 

You smiled and nodded. “It’s good to see you, too. How are you?” 

“Oh, good, good,” she said with a big smile. “Just got back from a shoot in Greece. Happy to be home.” Her eyes lost a little of their luster as she asked, “How are you, darling?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you said. You could tell she wanted you to say more, but you just nodded and shrugged.

“Well,” she looked at you carefully, “I can’t get over how grown up you are. I know it’s silly, but I think I’ll always see you as the sixteen-year-old I met at the table read ten years ago.”

 “You and all of America,” you said dryly before you could think better of it.

Instead of chastising you, she just nodded. “I’m very grateful I didn’t have to grow up so publicly and then have to make that transition to being an adult. I can’t imagine how hard that is.”

You shrugged again. You didn’t really know what to say to her.

“Which, speaking of, I owe you an apology.”

Panic rose in your chest. Oh, god. Had she sold a story about you? Said something private in an interview? Blocked you from a new role? You weren’t sure you could handle one more thing right now. “Oh?” you asked shakily.

She nodded, seriously. “I should have done a better job of keeping in touch with you after we’d finished the movie. I owed you that much. I’m sorry.”

You furrowed your brow, confused.  “That’s fine. You’ve been so busy. I didn’t really expect you to remember me. I mean, you won an Oscar. I know how much work that takes.”

“Mmm,” she said, “and you sent me flowers.”

You shrugged. You just kept shrugging. “Well, you were always kind to me, and I was so happy for you. It seemed like the least I should do.”

 “You were always so sweet. I’m so happy to see that hasn’t changed.”

At the sincerity on her face, you looked down at your menu. You didn’t know what to say to that. 

“How’s your mom?” she asked, her tone strangely cautious. “Is she still your manager?”

“Oh, no. Wilford helped me get a new one when I turned 18. He thought I needed someone more experienced.”

She let out a breath, almost like she was relieved. “I have to admit, I’m happy to hear that.” You gave her a confused look and she continued softly, “She was always so hard on you. It was part of why I always invited you to my trailer. It seemed like you could really use a break from her.” She gave you another impossibly warm smile. “Plus, you were such great company. I loved making that movie with you.”

You couldn’t hide your relief when the server chose that moment to take your orders. You didn’t know what to do with the fondness in Marnie’s eyes. 

Once you were both done ordering, you decided you were ready to talk business. “So, what’s the project?” you asked.

She looked confused. “Project?”

“Uh, yeah. Whatever you wanted to pitch me? The reason you asked me here.”

“Oh, honey, no, I’m sorry. There’s no project. I just wanted to see you.”

That didn’t make sense. That she didn’t want to work with you again made sense. No one did, so of course she didn’t either. But then why else were you here? “I don’t understand,” you said quietly.

She let out a sad little sigh. “I’ve seen some of what’s been going on with you, online, and it just seems like you need a friend. I want to be that for you. I think about you more than you know.”

“Oh,” was all you managed to say.

She grabbed your hand over the table. “There’s so much going on for you right now. I can’t imagine how hard it must be, and then to have to deal with it in public too.”

You didn’t say anything, just looked at your joined hands on the table. Then, finally, still looking down, “Uh, yeah. I’m having a pretty hard time.”

She squeezed your hand. “I’m so sorry. I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk about it.” 

You finally looked up and nodded, but didn’t say anything else. You weren’t sure you could.

She looked at you carefully. “Have you thought about taking a break at all?”

You were reminded of Curtis, sitting on your couch, looking at you so earnestly, talking about taking a year off. You shook the image out of your head. “No,” you said. “It isn’t a good time. My reputation isn’t great right now, so I need to get back out there and show people that I can do the work. I need to fix it.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, “that sounds like agent speak.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “he’s right.”

“Remember, though,” she said, slowly, “that you’re a person, too. Not just a career.”

You just looked at her, blankly. Your career had been the most important thing about you since you were nine years old. You didn’t know how to separate the two. Luckily, that was when the server returned with your food, and Marnie graciously took it as a sign to take over the conversation for the rest of your meal. She talked about the movie she’d just finished, how her kids were doing, and the large garden she was planting at home. It was nice. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a meal out with a friend like this.

Still, you left the restaurant feeling raw and restless. You weren’t sure what to do with that conversation, the hard parts of it. The way she looked at you like she actually saw you. There was an itch in you now that just made you want to run.

Instead, as soon as you got home, you poured yourself a glass of sangria from the pitcher your housekeeper kept in your fridge and took the latest script Wilford had sent you onto your deck. You could feel Curtis watching you as you moved through the glass doors. That was his job, you told yourself. It was just his job.

The script fucking sucked. It was awful. The opposite of what you wanted to do. But you knew what Wilford would say. Beggars can’t be choosers. This was your fault. You were the one who’d destroyed your reputation. You had to be the one to fix it. And if making shit like this would fix it, then that’s what you had to do. Too many people relied on you for you not to do whatever you could, take whatever paychecks you could get. You hated it. You hated it so much. But you would do it.

You picked up your phone. You hadn’t realized how much time had passed. It was well into the evening now. There was a text from Michelle an hour ago, letting you know she’d left. And a few minutes ago, one from Nikki, a girl you partied with sometimes, that just said ‘Fuck them both!’

What the hell did that mean? Panic began to crawl up your throat and your hands started to shake as you typed your name into Google and clicked on News. Your stomach dropped.  Johnny Storm, that snowboarder you’d barely dated over a year ago, apparently had a podcast now. And the latest episode, posted that day, featured Colin Shea as its guest. Shit. Fuck. You couldn’t even look at what they’d said. There was no point. It was all just the same old bullshit.

You felt tears start to prick at your eyes. Why couldn’t everyone just leave you the fuck alone? You weren’t even that interesting. How could they possibly have anything to talk about?

Fuck that, you thought, as you stormed back into your house. You distantly registered Curtis calling after you, but you didn’t pay any attention. You were too focused. You headed straight up to your bedroom. They wanted something to talk about? You’d fucking give it to them! You charged into your closet and grabbed the sluttiest, shiniest dress you had. Fuck yeah. You could do this. You would be exactly who they wanted you to be. If they wanted a show so fucking badly, you’d give them one.

You ran back downstairs, looking for a particular pair of earrings that a costar had given you as a wrap gift a couple of years ago – huge dangly ones that said Fuck on one ear and You on the other. There was nothing subtle about what you were going for tonight. 

You’d have to think of someone to call, too. Someone suitable for the kind of scene you wanted to make, the kind of big mistake you wanted to fall into. You were so fucking tired of holding it all together. You were done. Your mind immediately landed on Lucas Lee, your costar in that dumb action movie last year. He was awful but so hot. Nothing but trouble and always up for whatever. Perfect.

As you entered your living room, your eyes landed on one of your jewelry boxes on the coffee table. There they were! As you picked up the box, you realized Curtis was sitting by himself on the couch. You saw him take in your short, sparkly dress and grimace. You weren’t in the mood to analyze it. “I’m going out,” you announced. “Have Jensen get the car ready.” 

You were already moving through, headed back upstairs when you heard Curtis rasp, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

You turned on a dime. “Excuse me?”

“I think,” he said slowly, so calmly you wanted to break something, “that going out right now, in the sort of mood you’re clearly in, would be a very bad idea.”

What the actual fuck? “Since when,” you asked, your voice quiet with seething anger, “is it your job to tell me what to do?”

He shook his head and you didn’t know how to react to how sad he looked. “I’m not telling you to do anything. I’m asking you to stay home tonight. For your own safety, which very much is my job.”

You just stared at him, dumbfounded. You didn’t understand him. He told you you weren’t friends. He was the one who said he was just your bodyguard. So what the hell was he doing now? 

In the moment you stood frozen, just staring at him, he took a cautious step forward. “Did something happen?” he asked barely above a whisper.

You shook your head furiously. You felt like you could barely form words. You were so angry and lost, and scared, and sad, and confused. You were feeling more than you thought your body could contain. And you knew, you knew, the only way to get these feelings out would be to go out and get as wild as you could. And here Curtis was, not letting you. You were afraid you were going to explode. “That’s fine,” you finally got out, ignoring his question. “You don’t have to come with me. Jake neither. I’ll get a fucking Uber.” You took a step towards the opening of the room. “Go home Jake!” you shouted through the house. “I won’t need you tonight!”

Curtis sighed your name. “I’m not going to let you go out by yourself,” he said firmly.

You threw your hands in the air. “Then make up your goddamn mind!” 

Jake appeared in the doorway, looking confused and Curtis turned to him. You took the opportunity to get back to the safety of your room, leaving your security detail to figure their shit out. Once back in your room, you dug through the jewelry box until you found the earrings you were looking for. You heard your back door open and close. Good. Jake, at least, was gone. You knew Curtis would be harder, but you were fucking determined. 

Just as you were opening Uber on your phone, Curtis appeared in your doorway. “What,” you growled.

“Would you just listen to me for a minute?!” He said, not quite a yell, but not not that either, as he barged into your room. All of his practiced calm from downstairs was completely gone. “Something bad is going to happen if you go out tonight! It is, I know it is. And I know you can feel it too!”

“Why do you care?!” You shouted at him. “No one else does! Why do you care so much?!”

“You know why!” he shouted back, and took another step toward you, but then suddenly stopped. Much, much quieter, much softer, and with eyes so pleading, he said “You must know.”

You didn’t. You really don’t think you knew until that moment, when the realization slammed into you. Every look, every sigh, all of the moments of him that hadn’t made sense. You took a step back. “What?” you breathed, barely realizing that you were shaking.

He took a step forward to follow you, then stopped. He opened his mouth to say something, but you shook your head at him. “No,” you said. “You can’t.”

“I can’t?!” he asked, incredulous and upset again.

“No!” you shouted, but it was so much weaker now. “I just– Why would– I’m such a fucking mess!” You were starting to cry, the adrenaline of the last half-hour finally leaking out of you, replaced by that same bone-deep exhaustion that you’d had for too long. “I barely have a high school education. I don’t know how to do anything for myself. No one wants to work with me. I am barely keeping it together and everyone knows it. I’m a trainwreck! Why would you–” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words that you knew he meant. “Why would you have feelings for someone like that?”

 The sadness was back in his face. You looked away, unable to bear it. In your periphery, you saw him take a cautious step forward, then pause. When you made no move to run, he eliminated the distance between you, standing directly in front of you. He slowly, gently, carefully brought one hand up to touch your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I know,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I know all that and I still love you. Because I also know that somehow, despite everything, you are one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. You are so kind. And thoughtful. You let everyone see your soft spots, even when all they do is hurt you. You have every reason to be awful or bitter or mean or any of a thousand things. But you aren’t. It’s all of it, it’s all of those things and the ones you said too. All of it together, that’s why I love you. I love you because you’re you.”

You wanted to sob. No one had ever said anything remotely like that to you before. Not anyone in your family, or a single one of your exes. No one had ever cared enough to say any of that. Except for Curtis. He’d always cared, hadn’t he? Since that first day he’d showed up, when you’d been so scared about the possibility of a stalker, he’d taken such care with you. He was the most caring, thoughtful, beautiful person you knew. You took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.  You could see his worry, but also the deep conviction with which he’d just said all that to you. You couldn’t help yourself anymore. You surged forward and you kissed him. 

He made a noise of surprise—you didn’t know how he could possibly be surprised after all that—but after just a moment he was kissing you back, bringing both hands up to cradle your head. You were getting your tears all over him, but he didn’t seem to care. He was soft and gentle and passionate. You needed more. You needed all of him.

You took a step back, breaking the kiss. You did what you could to brush the tears off your face. You grabbed the bottom of your dress and pulled it over your head, then tossed it on the floor. You stood in front of him in the lingerie you’d picked out to fuck Lucas Lee of all people and couldn’t understand how you’d ever been able to think about anyone but Curtis. But you did know how when you stopped to think about it. You’d never been able to fathom that you might deserve this man. That he might actually want you.

He stared at you. “Fuck,” he whispered. “You’re–” you braced yourself for what might come next. So hot or fucking sexy. You’d even gotten beautiful once or twice. He only took a second before he finished his sentence “–incredible,” with such awe on his face that you actually felt your knees go weak. You had to look away. He was too much.

He took your face in his hands again and placed a soft, short kiss on your lips. “But would it be ok if we slowed down?” he asked.

You couldn’t keep the disappointment out of your voice. “Why?” 

“This is real for me,” he said. “And if we do this, I want it to be real for you too. I want you to be sure. And for now,” he stroked one thumb over your cheekbone, “right now I just want to hold you. Is that alright? If I just hold you tonight?”  

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Sex had always been the best, most important part of any of your relationships. It’d been the biggest thing that any of your previous partners had wanted from you. You weren’t sure you knew how to do it any other way. But he was holding you so gently, looking at you so softly, all you could do was nod. 

He kissed you once more. Then stepped back and started to take off his clothes. You made your way to your bed and got in, watching him as he shed his clothes. He really was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. Nothing on any movie set you’d ever been on, any party you’d ever been to could compare to him. 

Once he was down to just his boxers, he crawled in next to you and pulled you close. Your lips touched his shoulder as you asked, barely audible, “You really love me?”

He kissed your forehead. “Yes,” he whispered. “I really love you.”

Taglist is open

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[virtues-end]

Hello, so excited to see you active and working on this IF again! I hope this means you are doing better on a personal level too because I remember you telling us you were not feeling up to writing and working on this as you were in a bad mental and emotional state. So I hope things have improved on that front too! 😊

I love the new and updated story and demo. I was just curious whether there are any changes to the characters or story. For example, I remember male Shea was trans and female Elixis was trans. Is this still true? What about the rest of the ROs? Are they still included? I remember you said you had to cut some of them off the story as they were way too many to write and account for. Same with our backstories, I remember you said you were considering altering/cutting some of the possible entities we can choose to be bound with. Sorry for all these questions, tumblr search is just notoriously bad so I can't find any answers to my questions.

Hello! I've been doing a lot better these past few months, thank you. I reached out and got help when things got really bad, and it's helped immensely. :) Though there are always days that are harder than others, of course, but I've been doing pretty well overall, I would say! Hope you're doing good, also. 💜

The majority of the main plot has remained the same 'behind the scenes', so to speak. I was thinking of cutting out a few of the helspawn entities when I first started the rewrite but ultimately chose against it--it just didn't feel right to change those! I did end up having to cut a few of the main companions, however, as it just was too much work for me at the time. I'm hoping to add a few of them as minor characters in the future, and for the others, I've incorporated some elements of their backstories and personalities into the remaining four (Elexis has some traits from Eiri and Sinclair now, for example, and Shea some of Sutton).

Regarding gender identities, female Elexis is trans, and nonbinary Elexis is always feminine leaning. Male Shea is not trans, however, though Penrose is a trans man. Shea looks and acts fairly masculine in all their forms, but they're pretty agender and not too fussed about it. Idris is... Idris. :)

[thunderstomm]

From Shea Fontana’s Instagram 💜

[sock-to-the-third]

Books

Key / Next

💥 tw SA

☀️ tw racism

🍑 includes smut

📚 disability

🌹 transgirl mc

💜 lesbian

👑 transguy mc

💖 gay mc

💙bi mc

🐸 outside binary rep

Pre Nov 2022

The Henna Wars by Jaigirdar ☀️

The Invisible Life of Addie Larve by Schwab 💙

The Impossible Knife of Memory by Anderson [PTSD]

Get A Life, Chlore Brown by Hibbert 🍑

Welcome Back, Maple Mehta Cohen by McGovern 📚

Star Trek: Cast No Shadow by Swallow

Nevada by Binnie 🌹

Young Mungo by Stuart 💖

A big ship at the end of universe by White 👀

Manhunter by Felker-Martin 🌹 👑

Tell Me I’m Worthless by Rumfitt 🌹

Set this House in Order by Ruff [DID]

Parable of the Sower by Butler [seed religion] 💥

2023

The Kissing Quotient by Hoang

Silver Canyon by L’Amour

Body of Stars by Walter [magical realism] 💥

Augustus Kitko and the Mechas from Space by White 👀 🐸

Koko Takes a Holiday by Shea [merc]

Funny Gyal by Johnson

When London Falls by Stone [barista x famous band guy] 💖

An Untamed State by Roxane Gay 💥

Left Hand of Darkness by Guin [alt society] 🐸

Queen of Teeth by Hailey Riper 💜

Hell’s Corner by Baldacci [gov agent]

Koko The Mighty by Shea [sequel]

Divine Justice by Badacci [gov agent]

Invisible Life by Harris [black bi lawyer] 💙

The Cipher by Koja [psych horror]

The Delicious Death by Cottingham [ghoul girls, ya] 💙

Escape from Asylum by Roux [horror] 💙

[sleepretreat]

shea the influx of the pitt gifs on my dash from you ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 absolutely binged that show in a weekend - what was your favourite episode!!

Myl, love that that's what brought you there!!!!!!! 💜💜💜💜 I don't want to sound basic but my favourite episodes were the pilot and 6.00.

The pilot kinda had me giddy, and of course Abbot's intro is so funny in it.

I loved 6.00 because the introduction of the night shift vs the day shift was so funny but also so accurate.

What was your favourite episode!?

[ladylooch]

I’m soooo thirsty for Kev!!! 😭😂

Could you write to Kev with the prompt “Don’t turn off the light, I want to see you”? Can it be either with reader insert or Sam (maybe after the last pregnancy and she is a little insecure?)

If you’re not comfortable writing this, that’s fine! Thankss , I love you!

-💜

I love you. For all that you are to me. And also this request. And if you’re going to give me the option to write Sam and Kev, I’m gonna pounce on it.

Three cesarean deliveries have not been kind to my body. Despite how liberally I have been applying coconut and shea butters, the scar does not want to disappear. I run my fingers along it where I stand in our bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. 

Kevin is in the bedroom right now, hard and willing on our bed while I stare, unsure, at all the flaws I see on me. He could have anyone else…. And he still wants this? It feels like a lie. 

I turn the door knob, keeping my body behind it, but peeking out to our bed. Kevin snaps his head to me, grinning. I smile back shyly, going over to the light switch by the door. 

“Don’t turn off the light, I want to see you.” My lips crumble and I shake my head no. “Baby?” He murmurs, standing and meeting me halfway to the bed. He's confident in the way he walks, ripped with muscle, and tenting in his boxer briefs.

“I feel so ugly.”

“No. You're beautiful.”

“Yeah. Look at this.” I gesture widely as tears track down my face.

“How sexy you are? Yeah. I’m seeing it.”

“Stop, it’s not true. It’s so…”

“No, you stop.” He mutters, scooping me up into his arms and carrying me over to the bed. I close my eyes as I hit the comforter. “Look at me.” I open my eyes, staring up at him. “You gave me my entire world.” He leans down, brushing our lips together. “This body is incredible. Amazing. So sexy and irresistible.” He kisses down my chest then sucks my nipple deep into his mouth. I curl my fingers into the sheets beneath me. “Let me worship you the way you deserve.” 

Kevin’s mouth does just that. He suckles and laps at my sensitive folds until I am quivering beneath his mouth. I orgasm unabashedly against his face. My fingers dash though his hair, gripping the locks into a fist.

“Saddle up for me.” He murmurs. I nod, watching him flip onto his back. I crawl onto of him, gripping his shaft to guide myself down onto him. “This…” He sighs, lifting me by my waist then pushing me back down, concealing himself again. “I’m addicted to this.” 

“Fuck.” I whimper, grabbing my breasts in my hands. Kevin brings his thighs up behind me, helping me move back and forth onto him. 

“Damn, baby.” He moans, moving one hand between my legs. He rubs my clit in slow circles with his thumb. I toss my head back, mewling at the ceiling as he bucks up into my heat. 

“Kev…”

“That’s it, baby. Keep taking me so good.” My hands fall from my breasts to his chest. "You're so sexy when you fuck me like this." I work my hips back and forth on him, using him to get where I'm desperate to be. The tightness and heat coils low in my stomach before I arch my back, letting loose a wild scream of his name. Kevin fills me, finger prints bruising my hips with how hard he holds me down onto him. 

Silent minutes pass before he reaches for my face, cupping my cheek.

“I could never love anything as much as I love you.” He says.

“The babies?” I chuckle. His face is serious below me.

“No.” My smile slides off at how he looks at me. “Not even them.” 

Every insecurity that blossomed in my heart is gone.

All that is left is the way Kevin is looking right now, buried deep inside of me.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

💙💜💖 Bi Books Coming Out August 2023 💖💜💙

🦇 Aiming to read queer all year? Don't forget to add a few bisexual books into the mix! Here are a few bi books coming out (hehe) this August! Consider adding a few to your ever-growing TBR!

💙 Text Appeal by Amber Roberts 💜 Reality In Check by Emily Banting 💖 With Love, from Cold World by Alicia Thompson 💙 The Last Girls Standing by Jennifer Dugan 💜 Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh by Rachael Lippincott 💖 I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me by Jamison Shea 💙 Not Just Gal Pals by Elizabeth Luly 💜 The Details by Ia Genberg, Kira Josefsson 💖 Always Be Your Baby by 💙 Gimmicks and Glamour by Lauren Melissa Ellzey 💜 Between Wind and Water by Shawna Barnett 💖The Midnight Kingdom by Tara Sim

[atlasllm]

thank you for tagging me @sweetcelestialdreams ;w;!

❤️ Last song you listened to?

the moment i get asked i immediately forget LMAO

i think it was either:

Break Through It All from Sonic Frontiers, which was the last song that came on when I got home from the bus stop

International Love by Pitbull... because I've gotten a newfound appreciation for Johnny Cage memes

Ecstacy by Suicidal-Idol... It's a very particular genre I've been enjoying lately so I'm a little mesmirized by this song recently 🤔 kind of been into a hyperpop-phonk spectrum right now and this hits the spot

🧡 Ideal pizza toppings?

I am so BASIC... I just like cheese and/or regular bacon bits 😭😭 I've gotten sick of pepperoni so cheese is my go-to "I'm craving pizza" flavor, though the regular bacon is because I enjoy the crispiness of it in comparison to pepperoni, and it doesn't overpower the cheese :]

💛 Dream vacation?

Honestly? Japan with my friends.... I can be a little weeb as a treat. Maybe we'd visit some Sanrio place or some #gamer place (my friends love Pokemon though I'm a huge Sonic fan + I know Sonic isn't as popular in Japan as he is in the west oop)

💚 Earth, Air, Fire or Water?

I think funnily enough, fire I love the aesthetic of a lot; I've always imagined myself as a fiery kind of person (a lot of my self insert OCs use either fire, darkness, or both)

However I am a little bit pyrophobic KJSGJSKJSGBV I'm the most skittish person at Korean BBQ LMAOO

I've have a newfound appreciation for air, moreso as wind; this is more Sonic fan talking but I kind of like that it represents freedom and uncontrollability, but it's a very chill uncontrollability since it's more of a cold/dry rather than a hot/dry like fire is

💙 Cartoon you grew up on?

YuGiOh, My Little Pony: FIM, Avatar: The Last Airbender... there's definitely a lot more especially since I'm an aspiring animator lol but those are the key ones I have strong memories of from childhood :]

💜 Favorite scent?

Legit depends on what I'm sniffing lol

I think I tend to go for citrus-y perfumes/handsoaps, I don't tend to care that much about shampoo/body wash scents but I have been enjoying milk/honey or shea butter scents as body wash.

I also enjoy pretty chill scents such as lavender or eucalyptus/spear mint

I also do have a habit of sniffing tea bags before steeping them because they just smell really good lol I love Bath and Body Works but they haven't been able to replicate the feeling of outright sniffing a jasmine tea bag uwu

Thank you for the tag! I tagggg @eggmeralda @whileyoureinschoolidothisallday @ravenwolfie97 @writing-is-a-martial-art ~ no pressure to do so btw!

[hischiershoe]

Sometimes I forget that you're a baby 😂

at least i know what circle-k is 😔

[bratbarzal]

Shea butter and I are twinsies. You can never take that away from us 💜

I actually wouldn’t dream of it

[miyuhpapayuh]

Thanks for the tag shea 💜

Nine People I Want To Get To Know Better

• • •

Favorite color: purple

Currently Reading: I need to finish reading through my dead is series, I started over on dead is the new black.

Last Song: fade away - lucky daye

Last Movie: columbiana

Last Series: I'm still scarred from star so I watch nothing but living single now 🤣

Sweet, Savory, or Salty: savory

Craving: some dick fr 🤭

Tea or Coffee: as southern as my ass is, tea me up!

Currently working on: a lil bit of mocha, a lil bit of soul & a lil bit of honey. It's all coming soon!

@blackerthings @ghostfacekill-monger @abeautifulmindexposed @harmshake @honestpreference

Nine People I Want To Get To Know Better

thanks for the tag @sidkneeeee 💕

—

Favorite color: pink

Currently Reading: The Boyfriend Project by: Farrah Rochon

Last Song: Outkast - Morris Brown

Last Movie: SINNERS!!!!

Last Series: The Equalizer (they canceled my shit and i’m mad as hell about it)

Sweet, Savory, or Salty: sweet

Craving: peach sour patches. so good!

Tea or Coffee: coffee. hazelnut or caramel to be exact.

Currently working on: something with Annie and Smoke. or Wunmi and Mike. these two have me in a chokehold!

—

tagging: @miyuhpapayuh @deepinmydaydream @dbaileyblog @kumkaniudaku @samwilsoniscap @blackerthings @flight-by-night @twistedcharismaaa @afrosandsweatpants

[looksforleaders]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: 💜NWT Revlon Colorstay Ultimate Suede Set of 6 Lipsticks💄.

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Get slut out & choked by baby daddy Ari or get handcuff by Colin. How would you describe your night with either one of them?

Why Not Both?

Summary: you’re dating Colin but Ari is your ex.

Pairings: Baby Daddy! Ari Levinson x Black! Reader x Boyfriend! Colin Shea

Warnings: minors dni, smut, mmf, rough sex, non/dub con, degradation, handcuffs, choking, cuckolding, oral sex

(A/N: idk what’s up with me and threesomes lately but I’m poly so 🤷🏾‍♀️ anyway like, follow, reblog with comment 💜 ✌🏾)

———-—————-—-—————-———

You looked up at Ari with watery eyes, still couldn’t believe that this was even happening.

It wasn’t like you and Ari were together and yet he was still a jealous bastard when he heard you’d been seeing someone. Like he was trying to have some kind of pissing contest. Going off on you about how he wasn’t going to let you have some man around his son.

You hadn’t even introduced them so he literally had nothing to worry about. It wasn’t supposed to be all this and yet here the fuck you were.

To be honest you didn’t even know that they knew each other. It wasn’t like it had been planned. You hadn’t been expecting to meet someone. You think Ari was just so used to have you in the back burner that he didn’t know what to do with himself now. Was used to not having to commit while getting unlimited pussy.

Then you told him that was enough and he scoffed and told you, “bet.”

Your son had gone to your sister’s for a sleepover with his cousins when you’d gotten in the house. Seeing him sitting there with your date in front. The two of them laughing like things were normal. Making you stop in your tracks.

“Ari, what- what’re you doing here? Thomas isn’t here.”

“I know,” he replied with a smirk. “Colin and I were just talking. You gotta problem with that?”

You raised an eyebrow because well yeah kind of, but before you could say anything Colin stood up. Putting his hands on your hips so he could kiss your cheek then grabbed your hand.

“Nah, she’s gonna be a good girl. Aren’t you?” Colin asked with a smirk.

Sure you’d heard all about his reputation. Had been told it would just be better to stay away, but so far everything had been good. The two of you hadn’t even had sex yet. He’d been pretty patient with you.

“You know all this time, I thought maybe you’d been playing hard to get but then I find out that you have a man this whole time and you didn’t tell me.” He chuckled.

You laughed glancing over at Ari and shaking your head. “No, we’re-,”

“It’s okay,” he cooed before placing a big kiss in your lips. “We already talked about what we’re going to do to you. Gotta make it up to us that you were trying to play games.”

“I wasn’t!” You protested.

He grabbed your face. Squeezing your cheeks between his hands. “You don’t have to lie to me, but you do have to make it up to me.”

That’s when he grabbed you making you turn around so your back was to his chest. Putting his nose in your ear.

“You can do that for me, can’t you?” He whispered into your ear. Grabbing your hands as Ari stood up to stand in front of you.

He grabbed your face forcing you to look up at him. “I told him how much of a fucking slut you’ve been,” Ari said, just as the snap of metal went around both wrists.

“Wait,” you said, trying to pull away, but Colin gripped your arm a little tighter. “Hey!”

“All you have to do is listen,” Ari said with a curl in his lip, his fingertips pressing harder against your cheeks then finally moving down to your neck.

That’s when Colin started copping a feel. His hands coming to grope your tits. Pinching your nipples and making you jump as he pushed his crotch against your ass. “We’re not gonna hurt you too bad,” Colin whispered in your ear. “You know I would never hurt you, Baby.”

With that he picked you up. Made you gasp and kick even though your hands were tied. Neither him or Ari giving a shit when the protests started spilling from your mouth as they carried you to your bedroom.

As your hands were tied they couldn’t just pull your shirt off, but goddamn Colin was just dying to see your tits. If ripping it off was the way to go so fucking be it. “Colin!” You yelled.

“I’ll buy you a new one, Baby,” he said with a wink.

“Please don’t rip my bra,” you begged. “It was expensive.”

“I’ll. Buy. You. A. New. One,” Colin said. Rubbing your cheek before picking you back up so he could shove you to the ground.

It wasn’t like you and Colin hadn’t messed around yet. It’s just you hadn’t had sex. Now he was taking turns with Ari shoving his dick down your throat.

Ari grabbed your hair as he fucked your face. Colin took out his phone so he could film it. The both of them clearly having fun with using your mouth. Laughing over you.

When they had their fill they picked you back up to place you on the bed. Ass in the air and nowhere to hide as they started playing with you. Fingers going into your pussy as the other one smacked your ass.

They were treating you like some kind of sex toy. Normally that would have been fine, but it had just caught you so off guard. All you could do was take it as they both had their ways with you.

Then Ari sat back. Wanting to watch as Colin filled you up. Fisting his cock. Tossing out words at you that he knew you liked to hear.

“Damn, Baby, you should have told me you liked this kind of shit before. Coulda been fucking you like this sooner,” Colin said into your ear as he made you cum for the umpteenth time.

That was the worst part. Was that you were so responsive. You couldn’t help it though. Ari knew you. Knew you liked it rough. That even when you acted like you didn’t want it, all he had to do was show you that you did. That’s just the kind of little slut you were.

He was okay with another man fucking you, as long as he got his access.

[virtues-end]

I feel 🙈 for spamming your inbox but VE consumed my brain: can we have some fun facts about the main characters to feed us in the long winter?😳

Noooo I love getting asks 🥰💜 spam me all you like!

I've got a few fun? facts about the main cast, some of them new, others already known. Tried to keep it to the light-hearted ones, hehe.

Shea - has a not-so-secret passion for drawing, as evidenced by their notebook. they're left-handed. enjoys collecting unusual and pretty rocks on their travels.

Elexis - trashy romance novels are their guilty pleasure. loves (to watch) storms. has a few hidden piercings in discreet locations. :’)

Penrose - is a tea-fiend, needs to drink tea upon waking and before bed (at the minimum). has a fondness for animals. carries a pocket watch from his grandparent, who raised him. 

Idris - knows how to play several instruments and has a love for classical music. has a sweet tooth. likes to wear a perfume of their own making.

[sleepretreat]

shea i miss you i never see you on my feed anymore

how are you, are you okay?

my favorite moustache truther has gone mia from my tumblr !!!!!

Alli my love! I'll be real, just haven't been feeling tumblr recently 🫣

I DO HAVE A NEW CAT SON THOUGH!!! So he's kept me company 💜

Hope you're doing well!