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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

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Lunch Date || Landon & Khai

Discord thread featuring: Khai Ozera and Landon Davies

When: October 7, 2020

Where: Dreamer’s Diner

Mentions: @aaronhart93 @romanbeckett @dammitdorian @jayceelynd

Description: Khai invites Landon out for lunch so that they can talk about where they stand in their “relationship.”

Trigger Warnings: Feels!!!

Khai. Khai was kinda dreading this lunch date after the way their last one went. But he knew they needed to talk. He just wanted this talk to go better than the last one, and he was trying to mentally prepare himself for that to happen. No matter what Landon had to say, or what he wanted. Khai needed to be okay with it for his own sanity. He had been burying himself in work lately and to be honest, he was starting to feel a little lonely. He walked into the dinner and looked around for his friend before taking a seat in the booth across from him. “Hey, babe” he greeted with a confident smile. Shrugging his jacket off his shoulders he pushed up the sleeves of his long sleeved shirt to make himself more comfortable. “You look nice.” He didn’t really know how to start this conversation, so he was just gonna leave that up to Landon.

LANDON Landon was terrified of their second attempt at a lunch break. The first one didn’t end so well and he didn’t want this to be a repeat of that. In hindsight, maybe he should have accepted Khai’s offer to talk about it through text and got it over with but deep down he knew this was a conversation they needed to have face to face. Their time together with Elle at the pumpkin patch confirmed that there were things they needed to talk about. Landon was the first one to arrive at the diner and he found a booth that was far from the others so they could have some semblance of privacy. Word travelled fast around Kingsboro. It didn’t take long for Khai to show up and sit in front of him. They exchanged the usual greetings and pleasantries and Landon suddenly found himself at a loss over what to say. How was he supposed to start a conversation like this? “Thanks, so do you.” He took a moment to try and collect his thoughts then sighed deciding there was no better option than to get straight to the point. “You kissed me when we were at the pumpkin patch.”

Khai. Seeing Landon face to face like this, had Khai second guessing himself too. Maybe things would have been a lot easier over text. But, to be honest, there was a part of him that really just wanted any excuse to see his friend. He looked down at the menu on the table as his fingers fidgeted with the edge of the laminate. His eyes only shifting up one he heard Landon get straight to the point. “Yeah...” he breathed out. The nerves so clear in his voice it was almost embarrassing. “Of course I did. I know maybe I shouldn’t have. I didn’t really mean to. Not in front of Elle. But, Landon... you have to try and understand I’ve been falling for you for a really long time, and it’s not that easy for me to just wipe our slate clean. I wanna be with you. I get that’s not something you want, and I’m trying to respect that. But, to be honest. I don’t really know what you expect from me.”

LANDON Landon wasn’t sure what he expected from him either. Khai wasn’t completely right in saying that Landon didn’t want to be with him. He told the other that was something he wanted and agreed to be boyfriends...before he was told about Dorian. That changed things for him. It didn’t stop him liking Khai or wishing they could be together but it made him more scared, reluctant to give it a try and risk getting hurt. “How are things with you and Dorian?” He needed to know that before saying anything else. Landon was not about to open up only to be told the two were trying again.

Khai. The last thing he expected out of Landon’s mouth after saying all that was a question about Dorian. It almost had him rolling his eyes, but instead he just looked back down at the menu again. “Things are okay with us, I guess. I don’t really talk to him that much anymore. He’s been dating Quentin, and we’re trying to stay friends. But it’s awkward to say the least” he shrugged. Of course he was always gonna care about Dorian. You didn’t just turn something like that off. But the simple truth of it all was that it ended the moment he had told his ex about his feelings for Landon. He looked back up at his friend and pressed his lips together as he shrugged again. “If you’re wondering if I’ve been with anyone else. The answer is no. It’s always been you Landon, and I’m tired of hurting people just because I can’t have you” he said honestly. Hoping his friend understood that what he meant was that he wasn’t going to try to be with anyone else while he still had feelings for him.

LANDON Landon was shocked to hear that Dorian was seeing Quentin now. When did that happen? It left him feeling as he had almost expected the other to say that they tried things out, even if it didn’t work in the end. Apparently not. He definitely wasn’t expecting Khai to say that he hadn’t been with anyone else either. As much as Khai said he had feelings for him, which he believed to a certain extent, he never thought he would stop seeing other people especially since there was nothing going on between them. It shocked him but in a good way. It spoke to a certain level of maturity that hadn’t been there just a few months previously. “Oh.” Oh? That’s the best he could say? But Landon was at a loss for words. “I wasn’t expecting that.” If anything was to happen they both needed to be honest to each other and that’s exactly what Landon was trying to be right now.

Khai. Whatever it was that happened between him and Landon, it definitely had awoken something inside of him. He was living his life so recklessly, and maybe it took being hurt as deeply as he was hurting others, to finally want to change. Regardless of whether or not that change landed him with Landon, it needed to happen. He had spent a week in bed not really eating or bathing, and then buried himself in his work at Venus. But after replaying everything he had done in the past few months over and over in his head, he was definitely changed. He wanted to be better, and even though he missed having sex so fucking much, he wanted something real. “I don’t blame you” he said simply. “I did a lot of stupid and reckless things, and I know I hurt a lot of people. It was never my intention to do that, but it happened, and I wish I could fix it all and make it better. But I can’t. All I can do is try to be the best version of myself from here on out.” He almost felt like he was confessing all his sins and trying to repent to someone who could only see the bad in him. But he was trying to speak directly to the best friend he used to have in Landon, and not the guy who shattered his heart.

LANDON Landon couldn’t deny Khai’s words and say no one had been hurt because the truth was that he was hurt. When Khai told him that he and Dorian hooked up for closure after he asked for some time, Landon felt tricked. There he was, believing that something could happen between them. He risked his relationship with Roman and went through one of their most awkward conversations so that he could go into whatever it was with Khai with the knowledge that the most important people in his life knew about it and had his back. Thinking that while he was doing that Khai was holding up with his ex made him see red. All he asked for was time and this is what he got in return. It made him confirm past suspicions that he was just another notch on his bedpost and the other’s feelings for him weren’t so deep after all. He questioned everything; their weekend together, the words Khai said to him...everything. And Landon might have overreacted, he could admit that now. Maybe he shouldn’t have kicked him out and tried to talk about it instead but at the time he felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere and he was too angry to think straight. It meant a lot to him that at least Khai was admitting to having made mistakes and was aware his actions hurt people. Actions have consequences, Landon knew that all too well. “You’re right, some things just can’t be fixed and we can’t make everything better with the snap of our fingers. But admitting our mistakes and dealing with them...that’s a start”, he said. “I’m sorry I kicked you out. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that but at the time I need to be alone to process everything.”

Khai. At the time Khai would have definitely agreed that Landon overreacted. His feelings for him were true, but Landon honestly had no way of really knowing that. All he had to go off of was his word, and let’s be honest, his words hadn’t really been all that trust worthy with anyone. He led Emily on, and then did a very similar thing with Dorian soon after. How could anyone believe anything he had to say? The truth though was that he was scared. He did have love for Dorian, but it wasn’t the same type of love he was developing for Landon. Even though he did want it to be, and he did try. In the end he realized he was only trying to get something out of his ex that he couldn’t get with the person he truly wanted to be with. He was scared to be alone, and as painful as it was to admit to himself. He was scared to let go of Dorian in fear that Landon would reject him again and that’s exactly what he would be, alone. It was all kind of ironic to think about now. Because he ended up alone anyway, and truthfully it seemed to be the best thing for him. He had so many epiphanies about everything, and now he was just left in a constant state of wondering. Wondering if he should continue waiting for Landon, or if maybe he should just let go and move on. “You don’t have to apologize. I deserved it, and I shouldn’t have been with him. I was just scared, Landon. It had nothing to do with anything but my own guilt and insecurities. I didn’t mean to hurt you.... Honestly, I thought you were just gonna tell me to forget about everything that happened between us, and that it wasn’t gonna happen again. Especially after I told you what Roman did, and I got scared you were gonna hurt me. I’m sorry. Rejection has never been one of my strong suits and I.... I don’t know. I made a choice. But I never meant to hurt you by it. That weekend we spent together. It was like something out of a dream and I never wanted it to end. I’d do anything to get back to that place. But, I don’t want you to be with me just because. I want you to mean it, and if that’s not the case, than so be it. I’ll move on.”

LANDON There might have been a point where he considered telling Khai just that because he didn’t want to hurt anyone. Roman’s reaction over walking in on them was enough to show him he was hurt and then his relapse...well, Landon felt responsible for it. But he liked Khai and after his awkward conversation with Roman he thought something could happen between them. Sure, Roman wasn’t thrilled at the idea but neither was he at the idea of his best friend and ex dating. He got over it. Eventually...sort of. The mention of their weekend together brought back memories that Landon had tried his best to suppress and he managed a small smile. “That weekend meant a lot to me too. I enjoyed myself and it was amazing seeing you and Elle get closer. She loves you, you know.” Deep down, Landon knew what he wanted to say when they agreed to meet for lunch but he wanted to hear what Khai had to say before doing it. It was a risk but one he was going to take and if things ended badly...then he would have more than enough time to beat himself up about it. He took in a deep breath to prepare himself for what he was about to say then looked at Khai, making direct eye contact. “Once chance Khai...you get one chance for us to really give this a try and see if it works but I swear to god if anything like with Dorian happens again I’m out. I mean it.”

Khai. It was a bit rejuvenating to sit here and pour out all his deep dark truths. But at the same time it was a bit terrifying. He never let anyone see beneath his tough exterior. In fact, the only other person who probably ever had was Roman. There were some things he even hid from Jaycee, and she was his best friend. Although, most times she could connect with him without him ever even having to say a word. This was different though, he was telling someone that he had been falling for, for months, that he was in fact damaged. And worst of all, he was admitting to complete knowledge about it. He was starting to get into his head a bit about it all. About everything he had just said, and wondering if maybe he shouldn’t have said so much. His eyes blinked a bit confoundedly as he heard Landons words, and he just kinda stared for a moment. It was almost like he had just had the wind knocked out of his lungs and he was left stunned. Did he really just say that? Wait... was he hearing things? He didn’t even know how to react to what he was hearing right now. Internally he was screaming with happiness. But to be honest, he was also a bit dumb founded. He pursed his lips a bit as if he were going to say something, but nothing seemed to come out. The feeling of his chest rising and falling a bit more rapidly inevitably taking his breath away as his emotions started to reveal themselves in his eyes. He searched Landons blue orbs for some type of clarification. But ultimately he was left in a state of daze.

LANDON Roman was right. He was letting his fear get the best of him and making them both miserable in the process. What was the point of fighting his feelings for Khai if he was just going to be sad about it? And the other was obviously not happy either so there was no point. Things would have been much easier if they cut out all contact and truly stated away from each other but Landon couldn’t do that. Khai was his friend and he cared about him regardless of what was happening between them. How could he let go of that? It was clear that he shocked Khai with his words though and if the situation wasn’t so serious he would chuckle. “I like you Khai, I really do and you hurt me but that still didn’t change anything. I still like you. And you’re right. These feelings aren’t going to go away and just being friends...it’s not going to work. I’m still scared, terrified really, but I can’t keep on living in fear. But I mean what I said. One chance.” Please don’t waste it. He almost said it but bit his tongue at the last second.

Khai. Landon just kept on talking, and Khai just kept on staring. He could feel his heart beating so fast and loud it was almost deafening, and he almost felt like he might explode. “I... yeah. Yes” he started to nod. His hand reaching across the table to grab onto Landons. Because he almost felt like he might float away or maybe even wake up from a dream if he didn’t. “I really like you too” he added. His hand squeezing Landons firmly just to make sure this was for real. “No... fuck that” he retorted with a slight shake of his head. “I more than really like you, and all I need is one chance.” With those last words he got out of the booth and moved to sit beside Landon. His free hand moving to cup the smallers face as he gazed deep into his eyes. “You’re it for me” he confirmed as simply as breathing. Closing the space between them and pressing a soft languid kiss to Landons lips as his fingers clenched around his face.

LANDON When Khai didn’t say anything right away Landon started worrying. Did he misinterpret the situation? His worried were eased when the other finally started talking and what a relief it was. Khai felt the same way. He knew that to some extent but having him agree to his proposal of one chance still meant a lot to him. Landon made space so that Khai could sit down next to him at the booth and smiled at his words. It was still a risk and Landon was still worried but maybe it could actually work this time. He wanted it to work. Landon closed his eyes and let himself fully immerse into the feeling of Khai’s lips against his. No worries, no fears. Just the other’s presence.

Khai. After everything that had happened between them in such a short amount of time. Khai was still scared too. That fear that Landon could change his mind at any given moment still lingering in the back of his mind, even now. But kissing Landon like this again, it was like all those fears had vanished. It was just the two of them falling blissfully into one another as the outside world continued to spin around them. Honestly, it was really hard for Khai not to want to ravish him right there in the booth. Not only because he had gone quite a while without sex. But also because he had all these built up feelings for Landon that were now spilling out into their kiss. His hand was clenching so firmly around Landons jaw just to try and keep himself from going to far. His other hand dropping mercilessly into Landons lap as it kept laced tightly around his. He let his fingers brush lightly against the others thigh as he pulled back just enough for their lips to continue brushing together. “I missed you” he breathed out in a whisper against Landons lips before kissing him again. He wasn’t sure whether or not if this meant they were going to be boyfriends now. But right now he was so lost in kissing Landon it hardly mattered if they had an official title.

LANDON It was as if the second their lips touched, the invisible wall that had been between them since their conversation about Dorian was knocked over. They were back to the Landon and Khai they were before it all went wrong. He moved his hand to cover the one Khai had on his jaw, squeezing it to show him that he was here and he wasn’t going anywhere. Landon didn’t know where this left them but he couldn’t be bothered to think about that right now. “I missed you too”, he said, as soon as they broke apart for air. “Let’s not do this again it physically hurt to be so awkward around you. Even Elle noticed.” He was only half-joking, as his daughter really had brought up the conversation about Khai after their day at the pumpkin patch.

Khai. Khai pressed his forehead to Landon’s as he felt his hand squeeze around his. His eyes closing for a moment as he tried to catch his breath. “Never again” he agreed. He knew Elle had to have noticed the awkwardness between them. As hard as he tried to hide it, there was a huge different between the two at the pumpkin patch compared to what she had witnessed over their weekend together. “I don’t ever want to be away from you again” he added. He let go of his hold on Landons face and hand and wrapped his arms around him. He just wanted him close for a bit longer as he breathed in his familiar and comforting scent. “I love you” he whispered into the smallers neck. Knowing full well he probably shouldn’t have said that so soon. But he felt it, and he wanted Landon to know he meant it. Even if he didn’t end up saying it again anytime soon because he didn’t want to rush anything. But he also didn’t want it going unsaid either.

LANDON The radio silence between them after everything that happened was torture. Landon was so used to getting at least a text from the other that getting nothing hit him harder than he thought it would. He smiled and hugged Khai from the side, leaning their heads against each other. The other’s admission came as a shock but he tried hard not to let it show. It was too soon for him to say it back, even though he knew the feelings between them went beyond a simple crush. But Landon wanted to see how things went before he could feel comfortable enough to say it back. And so he smiled, pulling his head back enough to connect their lips together again. That would have to be enough for now. There would come a time where Landon would feel comfortable enough to say it and it would be something special but, for now, this was good too.

Khai. Not texting Landon was torture for him too. He found himself struggling almost every single day not to give in and send him a message with even a simple how are you? He hated it, but he knew the space was needed. If not for Landon to figure out what he really wanted, than at least for Khai to try and detach. Not that detaching from Landon happened in even the slightest bit. He pulled his head back slightly when he felt Landon lift his head from his, and he kissed him back soundly. He knew Landon well enough to know this was his was of reciprocating his words, and he hummed softly. Of course that was enough. He never expected Landon to say it back, at least not this soon. He already knew how he felt and that was all he needed in this moment. Besides, being able to kiss him again was always a great alternative.

LANDON They were so immersed into their conversation that they didn’t even order anything and Landon chuckled when he looked at their empty table. So much for coffee and lunch. “Tell you what”, he suggested, turning to look at Khai once again. “Elle has been asking for you ever since we went to the pumpkin patch. How about I take the rest of the afternoon off and you come with me to pick her up from school? Maybe we can go out for dinner tonight instead?” He doubted they were going to be able to eat much now that they’ve had their conversation, so might as well postpone it to later in the day. “You can show us Venus and give us both the special treatment.”

Khai. When Landon suggested taking the rest of the afternoon off and going out for dinner, He suddenly realized they hadn’t ordered anything for lunch. He knew Landon was probably starving too after working all morning, and he almost felt bad. “Of course, I’d love that” he smiled. Caressing his thumb along Landons jawline before kissing his chin softly. “I’ve been missing her too and I’d love to see her. I’d also love to give you both the special treatment. It’s the least I could do after causing you to miss lunch” he grinned. Having Elle and Landon as his first official costumers was more than he could have ever asked for. He was so proud of the establishment and what better way to celebrate it than sharing it with two of his favorite people. “How are her pumpkins holding up by the way? They aren’t rotting out already are they?” Of course he would carve her a new one if he had to. But, he hoped the pumpkins she had picked out for herself were still going strong.

LANDON They might have missed lunch but Landon didn’t really care. It’s not like he was very hungry in the first place. He suspected that the only reason they often got lunch when wanting to have similar conversations was to have a distraction in case things went bad or got a little too awkward for them to handle. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. It’s not like I was starving, I’m used to working so much during the day that I forget all about lunch.” Landon thought back to Elle’s frozen pumpkins which were on display in their back garden. Elle wanted to keep them in her bedroom but he convinced her otherwise, knowing that they would start rotting eventually and the smell would be hard to get rid of. “No rotting yet but it’s bound to happen eventually. So far so good though and Elle is loving going out to the garden everyday after school to check them out for herself. It’s almost like she thinks someone’s going to come and steal them from her while she’s at school”, he laughed.

#chats:landon #chats:discord #ft.landon #ft.roman #ft.dorian #ft.aaron #ft.jaycee #ft.quentin #{Landon Davies;; the sweetest taste of sin}

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blaze-art · 5 years

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Sad/Angsty Headcanons Ft.Dorian’s Group*

*Except for Tessa,cause she’s a happy girl

Also there’s a suicide mention at the very end

@wayward-dreaming

Dorian

Ever since Tracy (Her mom) died,the Fields family never seems to talk and hang out with each other anymore. No games,no swimming in pools,no chillin in the backyard...nothing like they used to do.

Dori was bullied during both her 2nd and 3rd grade. This resulted in her having low self confidence,a shattered self esteem,and social phobia. Always fears everyone secretly hates her when in a social enviorment (ex: school)

When depressed,she’ll lock herself away in her room/house,mainly trying to sleep her sorrow away..

She’ll also eat her pain away,pizza,chocolate chip waffles,ice cream sandwhiches,and french toaster sticks are the foods of choice.

Kiara

After her mom and dad got arrested for assault,she practically disowned them (stuff like “I have no mother”). She didn’t want to be associated with criminals

Kiara is highly misunderstood by classmates,not because of her behavior,but because of her political beliefs. Being an anarchist,she is constantly depicted by others as a violent bomb-throwing arsonist. When in reality she’s just anti-authoritarian and anti-hierarchy as well as wanting better changes to society.

Renee

She believes that she is cursed,she constantly worries that if someone loves her (romantically or platonically),they’ll either die or end up abandoning her.

Believes said curse may also have religious roots,being born into a christian family. She believes god hates her for something she didn’t do and is trying desperately to repent for her “sins”

Constantly worries about Flava and Connor’s safety. To the point where she has trouble sleeping,as well as having nightmares.

When she’s depressed,she’ll drown her sorrows in green tea. Akin to alcoholism,but more tame and child-her-Age-friendly

Has considered suicide twice,believes that killing herself will save everyone she loves from the burden of her “curse”

#headcanons #oc stuff

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quentinxdelancret · 4 years

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Top 3 hottest girls and guys in kingsboro in your opinion?

“Oh shit, okay. In no particular order of course. Chastity, Jaycee, Esme, Roman, Dorian, and Mat. I changed these answers like five times in my head. But, that’s my official line up.”

@xo-chasity, @jayceelynd, @esmereydghr, @romanbeckett, @dammitdorian, @mathieuberinut

#answered.#ft.chastity #ft.jaycee #ft.esme #ft.roman #ft.dorian #ft.matheiu #{answered; //lay low in our lazy luxury}

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quentinxdelancret · 4 years

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Discord Thread || Quentin & Roman

Discord thread featuring: Quentin and Roman

When: October 12th

Mentions: @dammitdorian, @aaronhart93, @jayceelynd

Description:Roman meets Quentin at the bar and they end up getting mugged.

Trigger Warning: Hate Crime Mentions!!!

Roman. Roman was...in a mood. He’d just had a major fight with Aaron, and now he just needed a distraction. Quentin was a great friend, someone he really felt like he could be himself around without being judged for anything. He also doubted that the other male would guilt him into considering therapy. That was kind of a burn at Aaron when he shouldn’t be thinking that way, but it’s not like he was in the best state of mind. He threw on some makeup to hide his puffy face from crying with some eyeliner, and a swipe of red lipstick before he was out to meet Q at a bar in between their places. “Hey!” He greeted his friend with a wide smile, tucking some hair behind his ear as he took a seat at one of the bar stools on the right side of Quentin.

Quentin. When Roman texted him needing a release and a sure way to clear his head. Q was quick to suggest his newest stand of weed. He had only smoked from this batch one other time before, and it left him loving life. So he knew it would be the perfect remedy for his friend. He had quite a lot of things on his mind as well though. It seemed he was getting closer and closer with Dorian, and he knew the other male didn’t like his playtime habits. Although, he never really made a stink about him quitting, Q knew it was something he had to consider. Which only brought him back to his break up with Jaycee, which also weighed heavy on his heart. As soon as he saw Roman though, he offered the male a wide smile. “Hey gorgeous” he greeted, complimenting on his make up. He always thought Roman was unnaturally beautiful, he always had such an extraterrestrial glow about him. “I went ahead and ordered us some drinks. Then we can head out back if you want and toke up.” He pushed the glass of alcohol into the space in front of his friend and turned in his seat to face him more directly. “I hope you like sex on the beach” he grinned.

Roman. Roman continued to smirk when Quentin called him gorgeous, because that made him feel good every single time. He wanted to feel pretty. It wasn’t about being a girl, or feeling feminine, he just loved makeup, and had fun with it. Roman snorted when Q said he hoped he liked sex on the beach, nodding as he took the drink, and swirled the straw inside of it. “Love it.” He teased, and then took a sip. “This is good — but the festivities will be the best part.” He sighed, and looked down into his cocktail. “How’re you by the way? Hope your night was better than mine.”

Quentin. “I had a feeling you would” he smiled proudly as he watched Roman take a sip from his drink. “Oh yeah, the festivities are always the best part. We can skip out of here if you want and get right to it” he suggested. Pointing with his finger toward the back exit, just in case he was interested. “I’ve been alright. No, that’s a lie. I’ve been pretty good actually. At least anytime after 5” he grinned. “How are you though. You okay? Still haven’t got that assistant have you?”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “Yeah, hold on though.” He held up a polished finger when Q suggested skipping out, picking up his drink to take it down until the glass was completely empty. He coughed a bit once he was done, smirking through it, because he couldn’t believe he’d just done that. Listen, it had been awhile since he’d had a drink, and tonight felt like the best night to get a little crazy. “Nope, no assistant. Looking though. Why? You interested?” He joked, already feeling just a slight buzz start to build from how fast he’d taken down that damn drink. “I’m glad you’re doing well though. That makes me happy.”

Quentin. Quentin watched as Roman downed his entire drink with wide eyes. An extremely amused grin pulling at his features as he eyed his own drink and debated doing the same thing. “Yeah, no... I’m not doing that” he chuckled. Taking another large sip instead before putting his attention back onto the brit. “I could be. Like I said, I have a lot of down time coming up, and I really wouldn’t mind helping out if I could” he shrugged. “I guess it all really just depends on what kind of things you would expect me to do.” He took another large sip before pushing his drink away and standing up from the bar stool. “I’m trying to do well. I still have plenty of faults though, trust me” he winked. Lacing his arm through Romans and pulling him with him toward the exit.

Roman. Roman of course hadn’t been serious when he asked if Q was interested in being his assistant. That would be ridiculous, but he supposed he was used to being ridiculous. His whole life was ridiculous. He was relieved when Quentin pulled him outside to smoke though, because lord knew he needed a hit, and was more than happy to stand in a dodgy back alley to wait for it. “Damn, it’s starting to get chilly out here.” He admitted while rubbing his hands together, and looking around, feeling a shiver run up his spine at the sheer mood of the place. “Kind of sketch back here, innit?” He asked in a thicker British accent than he really meant to put on.

Quentin. Maybe Roman wasn’t serious, and the whole idea was a bit ridiculous. But Quentin was used to doing some pretty ridiculous things to make a little extra cash. Not that he’d ever admit that to just anyone. Once they were outside though, he was quickly pulling the blunt from his pocket and leaning his back against the brick building. “Yeah, it is a little chilly. You want my jacket?” he asked, being the genuinely sweet guy that he was. He placed the blunt between his lips and lit it up before inhaling deeply and passing it along to his friend. “Ha, yeah. I guess it is a little sketchy. I usually don’t pay much attention to it though. I know the owner so, I don’t think he’d let just anyone back here.” God, was he about to be sorely mistaken though. “So.. what happened with you and Aaron? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna. But, I’ll totally kick his ass for you if it helps.”

Roman. Roman shook his head when Quentin offered his jacket, because for some reason, it just felt...yeah. He didn’t know how to describe it, but the gesture was so sweet. In another life, maybe he would have been dating Q, but it felt odd to imagine that now. He was happy with Aaron, at least, he usually was. He didn’t have the words to describe what tonight had been, but lord knows he felt off about it. Obviously. He shifted uncomfortably, wondering if saying what had happened out loud would be yet another confirmation that he’d been in the wrong. He really didn’t want to be. “I ehm...Aaron wants me to go to counseling for my past trauma...my depression. But, I’ve done therapy before, and I hate it.” He took the blunt, nursing it between his fingers before he was taking a deep hit, and blowing it out into the cool night air.

Quentin. He just smiled at Roman as he declined his offer and shrugged slightly. If he wanted to freeze than that was on him. He was never the type of person to push anything onto anyone. Except for maybe sex, in a totally mutual way though of course. He watched as his friend nursed the blunt and listened carefully to each word he had to say. “Damn, yeah, that’s rough. I don’t think therapy is really something you can force onto someone though. I’ve done it before myself, and you’re right, it’s awful. Plus, it only really works if you’re ready and accepting to it.” He wasn’t sure if his words would make Roman more mad or not, but he was just speaking from his own truth. Roman definitely didn’t strike him as the type of guy who would do anything out of his own accord anyway. “You know, maybe you just need sex therapy.” Oh God, here we go. The logic of Quentin DeLancrèt, pot head extraordinaire. “Maybe he should just try blow jobs and back rubs on the regular. It’s always done wonders for me” he grinned.

Roman. Okay, Roman felt a little better that Q seemed to think therapy was awful. It couldn’t possibly be for everyone, right? Still, why did he feel so guilty?? He took a deep breath, and then nodded, once again taking another drag off of the blunt before passing it back to the other male. He snorted when Quentin suggested sex therapy, as if Roman didn’t have enough of that. “Trust me, we don’t need help in THAT department. We mess around all the time. I mean, when we can anyway. When des isn’t around of course.” He felt the need to clarify, looking off to his left when he heard some voices in the distance. Immediately, the actor noticed some men that had come out of the pub next door, clearly drunk, and also looking for a smoke in the alleyway. It made him nervous, even if it was completely harmless, just thanks to his past and what he’d had to deal with previously. The paranoia would probably never go away. “Anyway. So. Guess you and Dorian are still going great then?” He tried to change the subject.

Quentin. He happily took the blunt back and chuckled softly to himself before taking another drag. “Well, I didn’t think you would. Honestly” he mused, slightly raising his brow. He had very vivid memories of his time shared with Roman in that department, and he had no doubt things were still going well for him. “I don’t know, man. Maybe just tell him what he wants to hear and move on from it. Fight about it another time” he shrugged. That of course was awful advice, considering he knew Roman better than that. His eyes shifting over to the group of clearly drunk men that had joined them in the alley. “Yeah, things are going really well. We aren’t official yet, but we’ve been exclusive. Does that make sense?” he asked with a giggle, clearly getting pretty stoned already. Apparently giggling was a bad idea though, because it gained them some much unwanted attention. “Oh, shit. Look at these two fairies over here” he heard one of them say as the group approached them. ”Which one of you is supposed to be the bitch?” another asked. Quentin was immediately pushing off the building and standing in front of Roman as he handed the blunt back to his friend. “Why don’t you guys just go back over there. We don’t want any trouble” he said firmly to the group. One of the men swiping the blunt from Roman’s hand before pushing Quentin back into him. ”You got anymore weed on you?” the man asked. Eying both Quentin and Roman before making an obscene comment about Romans lipstick.

Roman. Roman nodded when Quentin talked, smirking slightly at what he was saying about Dorian. “Yeah. I get that for sure. I’m happy for you.” He’d said that via text, but he felt he really needed to say it in person as well, because he WAS happy for his friend. He liked seeing him smile like that, and appear content. That was quickly shifted though when the other men in the alley noticed them, starting to pick on both of them, and start to get physical. “Listen. We don’t want any trouble.” Ro tried to reason with them, grabbing onto Quentin’s arm out of sheer primal instinct once Q was pushed into him. He’d been in a situation similar to this before, but his friend being involved in it was even worse. He was starting to regret his decision to wear makeup, drawing unwanted attention to himself once again. ”Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t look like a fucking lady boy then.” one of the men shot back at Roman, making his stomach sink as he turned to look at Q, hoping the other male would just give them what they wanted, if he even had anymore weed, and wouldn’t make a big deal of them picking on Ro.

Quentin. To be honest, Quentin was pretty used to being pushed around. He dealt with it his entire life with his adoptive father, and not to mention some of the older men he used to run around with. But there was something about this whole situation that was seriously rubbing him the wrong way. He came out here all the time and there was no way in hell he was going to let these guys ruin his vibe. “Yeah, I got more weed. Here” he said as he tossed the baggy of weed he had in his pocket to the other man. “Just get the fuck out of here” he spat. Of course his French attitude was never shy to reveal itself in these situations. It wasn’t until Q turned his back to them though that the other male decided to comment again. ”Sorry for imposing on your little blowjob. That color would look nice around my cock too, don’t you think, lady boy” It was then that Quentin’s eyes turned almost black with rage. He could let the comment go once, but enough was enough. He turned back around to face the other man and used his full body weight to push him back. “I said, get the fuck out of here” he demanded with a bit more fire. He wasn’t sure what happened next though. It was almost like he blinked and his head was bouncing off the brick building. The man had given him a swift left hook straight to the eye, and he was literally seeing stars.

Roman. Roman knew that Quentin speaking back the way he was, wasn’t going to end well. Guys like this had too big of an ego to just take what they wanted and leave when they were being challenged. It was like his whole life flashed in front of his eyes when Quentin was knocked into the brick wall, a shriek basically escaping his throat as he ducked down to touch his friend’s shoulders, trying to make sure the man was okay before he was seeing red. He could deal with himself being hurt, but people he cared about? “Shit. Are you okay? Fuck!!” He cursed, tears pricking at his eyes before he was jumping up, and trying to reason with a group of strangers that couldn’t be reasoned with. “You got what you wanted, now fucking GO.” He spat, barely getting it out prior to a punch getting delivered to his own jaw. He didn’t know how many times he was hit, and kicked after that, just praying, and begging out loud for it to end until he was coughing up blood.

Quentin. He could feel Roman’s hand on his shoulder and he nodded his head to his question. “Yeah, I’m good” he half lied. Of course he wasn’t that good, his head was split open and bleeding. But none of that mattered the second he saw the man hit Roman. He was jumping in and swinging his fists relentlessly. Even kicking his legs as he was lifted off his feet before being thrown onto the ground. He could hear half the guys beating on his friend as the other half beat and kicked on him. His arms coming up to cover his head as he tried to shield himself from the blows. Fuck! This was not how this night was supposed to go, and to make it even worse, he felt like it was all his fault. It seemed way longer than it actually was before someone else finally opened the back door. Their threat of calling the cops inevitably causing the men to finally take off running. Leaving Roman and Q laying in a mess of their own blood. He just laid there on the ground for a moment before reaching his hand out to grab Romans. Giving his friends hand a light squeeze to let him know he was still there.

#chats:roman #chats:discord #ft.roman #ft.dorian #ft.aaron #ft.jaycee #tw::hate crime mentions

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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

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Hottest people in town?

“Everyone here is incredibly hot. But if I had to choose the few who have really caught my eye as of late, they would have to be Kami, Cody, Jaycee, Hazel, Landon, Amani, and Dorian.”

( @kamidesai @codyhq @jayceelynd @hazelsfm @davieslandon @dammitdorian @amaniraynehq )

#answered.#ft.kami #ft.cody #ft.jaycee #ft.landon #ft.dorian #ft.Amani #ft.hazel #{answered// get the ghost; raise a toast; pop the molly}

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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

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↳ INSTAGRAM

@khai0zera: Let's have an adventure. Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered.. @dammitdorian

 ❤️ 5,007 likes 💬 890 comments

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#insta.#ft.dorian #{insta// fresh photos with the bomb lighting}#{dorian taylor;; don't you know you're fuckin' beautiful}

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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

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↳ INSTAGRAM

@khai0zera: Just watching you glow.. I'm in the passenger seat, you're in control. - @dammitdorian

This album is lit and the birthday boy is 🔥#halfwaytoanywhere

 ❤️ 5,220 likes 💬 891 comments

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#insta.#ft.dorian #{insta// fresh photos with the bomb lighting}#kingsboro.event #kingsboro.dorian

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quentinxdelancret · 4 years

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Rose

rose - describe your crush.

“Oh my God, okay. He’s tall dark and handsome. But, maybe not actually all that dark, and way more than handsome.”

@dammitdorian

#answered.#ft.dorian #Anonymous #{answered; //lay low in our lazy luxury}

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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

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♥ Happy Birthday, Dori!!! ♥

Card Reads:

Dori, I hope your birthday becomes one of the best days of your life. May all your birthday wishes come true, and may you receive all the love and happiness that you have put out into the world. I adore you!

- Khai ♥

Gifts Include:

@dammitdorian

#mentions.#ft.dorian #;;birthday gifts #{Dorian Taylor;; Don't you know you're fuckin' beautiful}

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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

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Discord Text Thread || Khai & Landon

Discord thread featuring: Khai and Landon ( @davieslandon)

When: September 13th

Mentions: Roman Beckett, Dorian Taylor, and Emily Davis

Description: Khai spends the weekend with Landon and tells him that he had break up sex with Dorian after the party. Landon asks him to leave.

Trigger Warnings: INTENSE feels!!!

Khai. Landon and Khai both had been in a bit of a state of delirium. Things were moving pretty fast when it came to making up for lost time. But after spending the entire weekend together, it was time they moved into the more serious aspect of where they stand. Landon had just put Elle down for bed and Khai was waiting for him in his bedroom. They had decided that they would spend their Sunday night snuggled up and watching a movie. But Khai had things on his mind they he still craved answers for. Once Landon joined him in the bed, he rolled over and wrapped his arm around his waist. Kissing his chest softly before looking up at him. “I had an amazing time this weekend” he started off. Kissing Landons chest once more before looking back up at him again. “So... does this mean you’re my boyfriend now? Or.... are we just gonna date exclusively? Because I don’t want anyone but you Landon.” He wasn’t trying to be pushy or rush them into anything. Details just always mattered a whole lot to him, and he needed to know where Landons head was at with everything.

LANDON The weekend was almost at its end and after spending it all together, Landon knew it was about time they talked things out. When he asked Khai to come over so they could talk a few days ago, they didn’t get much talking done before they were having a repeat of what happened at the party without alcohol. While the weekend was great and they had fun together, they needed to talk about where all of this left them. Khai seemed to be of the same thought since he was the one to bring it up as soon as he joined him in bed. Just a week or so ago, Landon would have freaked out at the mention of boyfriends. Was he ready for such a step? Was Khai? But his perception after the party changed. He might not have given Khai the answer he wanted straight away but the other still waited for him and that meant a lot to Landon. “I wouldn’t..,mind being boyfriends I guess.” This wasn’t easy to talk about but Khai deserved honesty. “I guess I was worried you were going to go running to someone else the second I said I needed time after the party but you didn’t. So I guess...sorry for doubting you.”

Khai. Hearing Landon say he wouldn’t mind being boyfriends make Khai’s stomach do little flips. He had been waiting for so long to hear Landon say this words and... Wow, he was knocked breathless hearing them. But his heart quickly sank at the mention of him running to someone else right after the party. Shit!!! What did he do? “I uh... about that” his voice broke with a bit of panic before he cleared his throat. “I did see Dorian a day or so after. I went to officially break up with him and things got a little messy.” His heart was racing so fast now and he was so scared of losing Landon that he couldn’t even hide it. His eyes looking down at Landon’s chest as he played with the fabric on his shirt. “We did hook up” he forced out of his lungs. “But, it’s not like you think. I don’t want him, I want you. It was just kind of a closure thing and I didn’t think you would want me sober. I’m just an idiot.” The panic was clear in his voice now, but he wanted to be honest. That was one thing about him he would never change. He might not always include every detail but he was always honest when asked straight up.

LANDON Landon wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Maybe they would talk about it some more and celebrate with more sex, like they hadn’t spent most of the weekend doing that already. Or maybe they’d just kiss or go to bed. Anything but this. Landon’s smile was wiped clean off his face when Khai’s words registered and he had to fight with himself not to push him away. “So let me get this straight”, he said, voice perfectly calm and collected even though he felt like he was breaking a little on the inside. “I said I needed some time to figure things out, you said I can have all the time I need and your idea of giving me time was to fuck your ex after breaking up.” Even saying it sounded surreal to him. “You want me? Sure you do, I’ve never felt more wanted than I do right now.” Landon snapped, his composure finally slipping. “I asked you. Wanted to make sure you were serious about this and specifically asked you if there’s anyone else and you didn’t say anything. What the fuck Khai?” It was clear that he was getting angrier by the second.

Khai. The tension in the room became incredibly thick super fast, and Khai was almost too afraid to even move. He knew Landon had every right to feel the way he did, but what he did wasn’t meant to be malicious. He was only trying to do the right thing, and with sex usually being his only sense of control. He slipped. “Landon, please don’t do that. I do want you” he tried to assure. But Landons tone was only getting angrier the more he spoke. “I didn’t plan for it to happen. I went there to break up with him and I just... I really didn’t think you would ever want to be with me. I ended it with him anyone though, because I did want to give you time, I don’t want him Landon. It was just closure.” Khai was trying to keep his composure and his tone was sincere even with the evident pain that laced through it. But his eyes were glossing over with disappointment in himself. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Landon, or give him even more of a reason not to trust him. All he wanted to do was cry right now, and the tears were building up in his tear ducts as his hands started to shake. He forced himself to pull away from the other male and he looked straight into his eyes.He could see the pain radiating there behind his deep blue orbs, and it only made him feel even worse. “Landon, there isn’t anyone else. I don’t want him. It’s always been you, don’t you get that? I shouldn’t have let it happen, I know that. But It wasn’t like I was trying to get him back. I just didn’t want him to feel like he never mattered. It was bad enough that I told him I wanted you the entire time.” His tears were pushing their way down his cheeks now out of his control and he wiped at them mercilessly. “I love you Landon. I didn’t mean to hide it or lie, I just... I love you and I didn’t want to hurt you.” Maybe he shouldn’t have said those words so soon. But he did mean them, and he really wanted Landon to know that he truly was the only one he wanted. It had been him for so long and Khai was such a mess when trying to explain his feelings and where he was coming from.

LANDON "Sometimes I'm not even sure you realise that's your excuse for literally everything", he snapped. This is why it took him so long to give Khai a chance, why he found it so hard to trust him and now it turns out that he was right not to trust him. Landon didn't think he could feel more stupid if he tried. "Every time you tell me that you did it because you didn't think you had a chance and every time I get hurt and then I believe you but now...what the fuck am I supposed to think now?" It always came back to the same thing with Khai, one excuse after the other and Landon fell for it every time.He laughed but there was nothing funny about it. "It's always been me? You say that and yet I can give you a whole list of people other than me and I kept letting you convince me otherwise but you keep proving my fears right. I get talking to Dorian and wanting closure but this is what you call closure? And then I asked you and you didn't mention anything and I..." Landon felt used and like he was just a phase, just like he feared would happen. Hearing Khai saying he loved him was the last straw for him. "Love me? You think you love me? You don't even know what love is." He knew he was being harsh but was it unwarranted? The guts of him to say he love him right after telling him about what he did. That wasn't love. Landon was an infatuation for him at most."

Khai. “It’s not an excuse Landon. You made yourself pretty clear over and over again. You think I really wanted anyone on this so called list everyone keeps talking about. I only even have a damn list because I couldn’t be with the one person I wanted most. I was trying to move on and not pressure you. I knew being with me wouldn’t be easy and it probably never will be. But to me you are worth it, you’ve always been worth it. Can you really blame me for not feeling like I was worth it to you?” His tone was was getting more defensive, but he was trying to stay calm. Landon’s words hurt, but he knew he put himself in this position. He did stupid things all the damn time and no matter how hard he tried he just always seemed to fuck things up with Landon. Hell, he fucked things up with every one at this point. But the only one who even mattered to him was Landon. You could see it in his eyes how badly he wanted to be with him, and how much love he did in fact hold for the other male.“I already know I fucked up by being with him. I never should have done that in the first place, I was in the wrong and it was selfish of me. But, I didn’t know being with him before we were even a thing would be so wrong. Not until it was already to late, and don’t you stand there and tell me It hasn’t always been you. You didn’t ask me if I was with anyone, you asked me if you were the only one and you are. I don’t want anyone but you. Maybe I don’t know what love is, maybe I’ve been abusing the word all together. But I’m not going to stand here and spit meaningless words at you. I’ve never been anything but completely honest with you, maybe to the point it even made you hate me. But all I can do is tell you how I feel and where I stand and hope you see me for who I really am and stop just skimming the surface. Because I assure you there is a whole lot more to me than this shitty image I’ve painted into everyone’s heads. If you don’t want me now, I get it. But if you think I’m gonna walk out that door and stop fighting for you every second of every day you are dead wrong.”

LANDON "Stop it. You keep saying you're nothing but honest but you're lying so much right now I doubt you even realise it. It's like you've got to the point where you've said this shit to yourself for so long that you actually believe it now." Landon wasn't sure he could keep going like this. How could he trust Khai? How could he trust anything he said. Weeks ago he said that they both weren't ready for something else, that they both needed time to themselves and to think things through. He ended up going against his own beliefs and now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. "I'm sorry for making you feel like that but you literally had sex with your ex days after we hooked up at the party. Days. And you didn't tell me. You wouldn't even have told me now if I didn't bring it up myself without even meaning to." He wasn't going to let himself be talked down by nice words only to get hurt again. Landon did that enough times already and look where they ended. Khai was still talking and he couldn't take it anymore. "I've tried Khai!" he said, at his wit's end. I've tried to see you for who you really are and you keep doing this so maybe...maybe that's who you are and I just can't. I've done this with others and it ended in disaster, I'm not doing it with you too. I'm sick and tired of getting hurt." Landon took a deep breath and tried to keep it together for long enough to do what he had to do. he could break down later when he was on his own. "You can do whatever you want to do but not here. You should go home Khai, I want to be by myself."

Khai. If could wasn’t already sitting on the bed he would have just fallen to his knees. He was completely beaten and there was nothing more he could say. Of course Landon didn’t believe him. Part of him knew he never really would, that it was all just a too good to be true. “I don’t know what you expect from me” he said with complete defeat. “I feel like you were just looking for a reason to push me away this entire time and I’m sure I gave it to you so easily.” There was nothing left to the image Khai would normally try to uphold. He was broken and if you couldn’t see that, you obviously just didn’t want to. “I’m sorry I’m so easily disposable to you. I tried too, whether you see that or not. I really did try.” He stood up from the bed and walked toward the door without even grabbing anything that was his. Stopping right in front of it as he placed his hand on the knob and just dropped to his knees. He didn’t say anything he just squeezed his eyes together and let the tears falls. Trying his hardest to not actually sob as he fought to find the strength to do what Landon asked.

LANDON "I wouldn't need to push you away if you didn't give me a reason to. And you would do the same if you were in my place so don't try to pretend like that's any different." Landon didn't want to do this but he couldn't go on in this way. It seemed like they were always going two steps forward only to go ten steps back right after. And he'd been so hopeful this time. Roman might not be happy about it but at least they had his go ahead and even Aaron seemed to be okay with it even though he didn't really like Khai. For once it seemed like luck was going to be on their side but that wasn't the case at all. It hurt that this time wasn't because of anyone else but themselves, there was no one else to blame. Landon scoffed and rolled his eyes, the pity party was not going to get to him, not this time. "If there's anyone who should feel disposable here it's definitely not you. It's all the people you keep hurting. I guess I deserve this though for the way you hurt others because of me and now I get a taste of my own medicine." Landon got up and picked up Khai's keys and wallet, going over to give them to him. He couldn't even get himself to look at him, knowing his resolve would break if he did. "Please just go."

Khai. Khai could hear Landon talking but his words were all just muffled. He wasn’t saying anything Khai didn’t already know. He did a lot of fucked up things in the past few months, but this? This wasn’t something he did to be selfish or hurtful. In fact it was the complete opposite, and where did that get him? He took his stuff from Landon and stood up to clear his throat. The only reason he even allowed himself to break like that right at the door was because he didn’t want to risk Elle seeing him. He knew the second he walked out the door it would be over and there would be no going back this time. He had screwed up and there was nothing he could do to change it. He grabbed Landons wrist to stop him from walking away from him as he looked right into his eyes. As much as the other male would allow him to anyway and he shook his head. “So that’s it? You’re just gonna kick me out because I had break up sex with someone who I completely destroyed to be with you?” Those words probably were not the right ones to say. But they were true and he wanted to be honest. “It’s not like I cheated on you Landon. I just wish you would understand where I’m coming from. Please don’t do this.”

LANDON Landon tugged his arm away from Khai and glared at him. “You can be a real asshole sometimes”, he said, voice breaking by the end. “Send my apologies to Dorian because you completely destroyed him for ‘my sake’. Maybe in a few days I’ll call you and we can have breakup sex for closure.” That was probably too much but Landon was hurt and everyone knew he was capable of hitting right where it hurt the most in an attempt to protect himself. “You’re right, you didn’t cheat and I’m ending this before you do.” Landon didn’t wait for Khai to say anything else, he heard enough. He walked out of the bedroom himself and over to Elle’s with the pretense of checking up on her, hoping the other would be gone so he could cry in peace once he went back.

Khai. If there was anything Khai learned from his break up with Roman. It was to never walk away. Watching Landon do that hurt more than any of the words he spewed at him throughout this entire conversation. Nope, he wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. He hadn’t felt this strongly for anyone since Roman, and he was not going to make the same mistake twice. If Landon had been literally anyone else, he would have been long gone by now. But, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t walk away from the only person he could ever really see himself with, not again. He watched Landon disappear into Elle’s room and he shook his head. The other male knew he wouldn’t follow him in there, but what he didn’t know, was that Khai wasn’t going to leave without a real fight. He turned around and sat back down on Landons bed and ran his hand through his hair. All the things he had done to both Emily and Dorian running through his mind, but Landon was the one who stuck out most. He had fought so hard to be here with him. He hurt so many people, including himself. He wasn’t going to just give up now, and frankly, he was tired of Landon pushing him away.

LANDON Elle was sleeping, as Landon knew she would be and he found himself peeking through the barely open door to watch Khai leave...but he didn’t. He waited for ten, fifteen minutes before it became quite clear that the other wasn’t going anywhere. Landon was beyond pissed now and he walked out of his daughter’s room, forcing himself not to slam the door closed. “What game are you trying to play here?” he snapped as soon as he walked back into his room to find Khai sitting there. “You did whatever it is you did with Dorian, weren’t even going to tell me about it, blamed me for your breakup again even though I never asked you to do that and now you won’t listen to me when I say I want to be on my own.”

Khai. It took Khai off guard when Landon came storming back into the room. His entire body jumping up off the bed as a sense of fear flashed in his eyes for only a moment. “I’m not trying to blame you for anything Landon. It was all me. I take full responsibility for it all. I just wanted you to know that my feelings for you never changed. I was just trying to move on and do as you asked of me. But this... I’m not doing this. I’m not going to leave you. I’m not playing any games. I’m just trying to be honest with you, and I wasn’t going to hide it. It was just irrelevant. I let him use me the way I used him and I know it was wrong. I wish I could take it back, all of it. But I can’t, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

LANDON Landon sighed and sat down on the bed, making sure to keep some distance between them. “You know, I’ve been in love before”, he said, almost conversationally. “Calling someone beautiful, getting them breakfast...that’s not what love is because those things mean nothing if there’s no trust.” He didn’t want to argue anymore, he just wanted to sleep it off at this point. “Staying here, saying you’re fighting for me...it doesn’t help Khai. I think I need some time to figure things out and you need to figure out if this is what you really want; if you can really let go of random hookups and closure sex or whatever. And don’t tell me you know already because you really don’t. Then we’ll talk.”

Khai. He let out a sigh of his own after hearing Landons final words. It wasn’t what he hoped for but at least it was rational. “Alright, Landon.” he replied soft and broken. “If that’s what you really want, I’ll go.” He stood up from the bed and pushed his wallet that he had been clenching onto into his back pocket. Looking down at Landon with tear filled eyes he pressed his lips together. “So, I guess I’ll see you around?” The question wasn’t really meant for an answer as he headed toward the door again once they were said. The flash backs of the night he left and got into an accident replaying in his mind as he pulled the door open. He looked back only once more before shaking his head in disbelief that this was actually happening all over again. “Goodbye, Landon” he forced out with a shaky broken tone. Walking out of the door and making his way to his car before completely breaking down again right there in the parking lot.

#chats:landon #chats:discord #ft.landon #ft.dorian #ft.roman #ft.emily #{Landon Davies;; the sweetest taste of sin}

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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

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Self Para|| Mind of Mine

thread featuring: Malakhai Ozera

When: August 26th

Mentions: Dorian Taylor and Landon Davies

Description:Khai let’s his inner feelings get the best of him while vacationing in Italy.

Khai was in one of the most romantic cities in the world. With one of the most romantic men he had ever met. His heart was floating on cloud nine to say the least. But, his mind on the other hand was fleeing elsewhere. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy being here with Dorian. He was honestly having the time of his life. But he couldn’t help but wonder where a certain someone else was at the moment, or what they were doing. He had gotten rather close to this other man, and even though he was in the perfect place with his perfect boyfriend. He was yearning for someone else. Maybe this is why people had the perception of him that they did. He was never settled, and he constantly felt like something was missing.

He was sitting on the balcony of his Tuscany hotel room. Sipping his morning coffee and staring out over the beautiful city. *If only he could see this view* he thought to himself. Licking his lips as he remembered the taste of his smokey kiss. Breathing out with a heavy sigh he brought his coffee cup to his lips. His eyes closing as the warm aroma filled his senses.

It wasn’t until he heard the stirring of his boyfriend waking up, that he was pulled from his private thoughts. A small smile curving at his lips as he took in the vision of what was his. He felt mostly content but he couldn’t shake the feeling. Everything inside of him telling him that he moved to fast. That he should be somewhere else with someone else.

But none of that seemed to matter the second his boyfriends lips met his. The sweet exchange of “Good Morning, baby” filling his heart with a sense of belonging. It was that feeling that he craved the most. His fear of being alone driving him to settle. Even though he loved this man completely. Would that ever be enough to make him feel whole?

#self:para #chats:khai #ft.dorian #ft.landon #{musings// ‘cause the very thing that i love's killin' me and i can't conquer it}

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malakhai-ozera · 4 years

Text

Discord Thread || Khai & Dorian

Discord thread featuring:Khai and Dorian ( @dammitdorian )

When: August 19th

Description:Khai gets drunk and has his first disagreement with Dorian.

Trigger Warnings:drunk feelings.

DORIAN The tears were already starting to well up in Dorian’s eyes even before Khai left him on read. There was also a giant lump in his throat that he was having a hard time swallowing. Regardless of how weak he felt mentally and physically, he had to go make this right. He shuffled out of bed and scurried down the stairs to look for his boyfriend. “Khai? Baby, please, I’m sorry. I take it back. I really don’t think you’re an alcoholic. I promise I don’t. Please just talk to me.. you can do whatever you want, just please don’t leave..”

Khai. Khai was just laying on the couch, coffee cup in hand. He had placed his phone down on his chest and he was just fighting to keep his eyes open. When he heard Dorian coming down the stairs calling for him he sat up and placed the cup onto the coffee table. “You don’t have to take it back, don’t even worry about it.” His already thick accent slurring even more from the amount of alcohol he had drank. “I’m not leaving, it’s fine. It’s whatever.” He had tears welling up in his own eyes now as he looked over at Dorian who was approaching him.

DORIAN Dorian sighed and shook his head, the tears that had been threatening to fall for a few minutes now streaming down his face. The older male just looked tired and hurt, but as usual, he wasn’t worried about himself. He wanted to make things better for Khai. Or he’d at least try his hardest. “It’s not fine. It’s not whatever. I clearly hurt you and that was not my intention. It never was, it never is, and it never will be. I love you. I just..” He shook his head as more tears fell down his face and he sat down beside his boyfriend. “It doesn’t even matter what I intended. I just wanna make things right now. I’m so sorry.”

Khai. His heart broke as he looked over at Dorian. He didn’t mean to make him upset either, but it wasn’t like he was wrong. He had been drinking excessively and Dorian definitely wasn’t the only one to call him out on it. It wasn’t like he was doing it intentionally though, he was just trying to have fun. Although, his idea of fun could potentially be hurtful especially to his boyfriend. “It does matter what you intended. Because if you think I’m an alcoholic that’s not okay, Dorian” he slurred again. Closing his eyes for a moment as a few tears dropped out of them. “I’m not an alcoholic! I’m not my fucking father, Dorian” he said as he opened his eyes. “I was just having fun.”

DORIAN Dorian’s stomach dropped. Khai had never spoken to him like this before. He’d seemingly done a lot more damage than he’d even realized. He shook his head, quiet sobs seeping through without him meaning for them to. He’d been trying to keep his composure but seeing Khai so upset with him did not make that easy. He took a couple deep breaths so that he could speak properly without his words being broken by his sobs. “I don’t think you’re an alcoholic, Khai! I really don’t and I’m sorry that it seems like I did think so. And you’re certainly nothing like your father.”

Khai. Khai could barely keep a coherent thought in his head. His brain scattering all over the place, and mixed with alcohol. He was just a chaotic mess. He brought his hands up to cover his face as he rested his elbows on his knees. “Yes I am.. I’m exactly like him” he cried into his shaking hands. Feeling completely conflicted and upset that he had hurt his boyfriend.

DORIAN Dorian could see all the conflicting thoughts and emotions rattling around in Khai’s head. He could read it on his face and in his body language. He was hurting, sure, but he just wanted to soothe his boyfriend’s pain. He scooped Khai up into his arms, practically pulling him onto his lap and gently rocking him back and forth. “No, baby! You’re not! You’re so much better than that man.”

Khai. The second Dorian pulled him into his arms, he just lost it. Breaking down completely as his body shook with sobbing tears. He wanted to believe Dorian, he really did. But the way he had been drinking, and the addictions he’s had before. It was all too much. He felt like he couldn’t fight it anymore, and even though the habits were clearly hurting the people he loved. He just couldn’t stop! “I’m sorry” he breathed out with a broken voice. Practically hyperventilating in his boyfriends arms as he just let him hold him.

DORIAN Dorian was honestly at a loss for what to do. Normally, he was pretty good at finding the right words to say or the right things to do to alleviate a situation, but in this moment, he had no clue. He just continued to hold his boyfriend close and rock him gently back and forth. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here. I’ll always be here. I love you. It’s gonna be alright. I promise..” Dorian meant those words with every fiber of his being. He may not know exactly what he was going to do yet, but he knew that he’d do everything in his power to make sure everything would be okay. He loved this man too much not to give it his all.

Khai. To Khai it felt like he had been crying for hours. But in reality it had only been a few minutes. Dorians words soothing his tears, but he was stubborn. One he had something in his head, it was hard to persuade him otherwise. He pulled from Dorians arms and brought his hands up to wipe his tears. “I’m not want you want , Dorian. I’m not good for you” he slurred out. His voice still breaking as he spoke and he shook his heads. “You deserve... so much better.. than me.” He could feel his tears falling again as he turned to look away from the man he loved. It was too hard to look at him while saying those words. Truth was, he didn’t really think he was good for anyone.

DORIAN Dorian stayed close when Khai pulled away from him, not wanting to go anywhere when his boyfriend so clearly needed him. Not to mention that he needed his boyfriend just as much right now. He listened to Khai speak and knew full well that it was just his insecurity and stubbornness speaking, but it still stung a little bit. “You’re everything I want. I love you, Malakhai Ozera. I love you for all that you are. If I was only in it for the easy parts, then I wouldn’t truly be in love with you. I already told you. When you love someone, you don’t give up on them. I’m here for you. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m the only person who gets to determine what’s good for me. And what’s good for me is you. The man that I am head over heels in love with.”

Khai. Hearing Dorians words only broke his heart more. He knew he meant everything he was saying with ever fiber of his being. But Khai just felt like all he did or would do is hurt him. “I just...” he shook his head again and turned to look back at Dorian. “I think I should just go. I’m sorry, I really am” he said before trying to stand up and falling straight into the coffee table. The coffee and alcohol spilling all over him and the rug as he almost pushed his hand right through the glass center. “Fuck... shit” he groaned. Grabbing his wrist on the arm he had broken during his accident. “FUCK” he yelled again. Just laying on the floor and sobbing again.

DORIAN Dorian was about to argue with Khai more about how he didn’t want him to leave when suddenly he was falling through his coffee table. “Oh my god! Fuck, oh god,” He said in horror, but quickly getting up and springing to action. “Don’t move, I’ll be right back. Oh my god,” He said, quickly running into the guest bathroom down the hall where he kept his first aid kit. Thankfully, having a nurse for a mother gave him access to excellent first aid training. He returned with the kit and very carefully helped Khai up and ushered him over to the kitchen so they would be away from all the broken glass. He sat him on the bar stool by the island and started giving him the medical attention he needed.

Khai. Well that was fucking slick, he thought to himself. Holding onto his arm as Dorian disappeared down the hall. He felt so embarrassed and ashamed. He couldn’t even leave to not make a scene without making a scene. When Dorian returned he let him help him up and followed him into the kitchen. Letting Dorian doctor the cut on his hand and wrap his wrist that he seemingly couldn’t move anymore. “I’m so sorry” he said, this time a lot softer than his previous tone. He didn’t mean to get so worked up, and he really didn’t want to leave. “I’m really so so sorry” he repeated, looking up at Dorian with pain in his eyes. “I promised you I’d stop and I didn’t. This is my fault, it’s all my fault. I just don’t want to hurt you. I love you.” His tears were rolling down his cheeks now without even making a sound. He was just broken and he hated that he had caused such a big mess.

DORIAN As unfortunate as this situation was, it warmed Dorian’s heart for him to be able to take care of Khai the way he was. He hated that he’d gotten hurt, but he enjoyed being able to clean and bandage Khai’s wounds. Dorian’s love languages were acts of service and physical touch, so things like this meant a lot to him and made him feel more connected to the person he loved. “It’s okay, baby. Really. I just want you to know that I’m here with you through thick and thin. I won’t ever abandon you. It would hurt me so much more if you left, baby. We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna get through this. Together.” He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend softly and sweetly as he gently cradled his injured hand in his own.

Khai. Khai just sat in silence as he let Dorian speak. He didn’t have anything left to say. He was tired, and hurt. But when Dorian kissed him, he kissed him back with just as much emotion. “I should go to sleep” he finally said once he pulled away. His free hand reaching up to caress Dorians face as he starred into his eyes.

DORIAN Dorian let himself melt into the kiss for a while until it was broken. Just the kiss itself felt like a sigh of relief. Like a sign that they really would be okay. He was really terrified of losing him for a while there. He leaned into Khai’s touch and nodded his head, even though he had no desire to be apart from his boyfriend right now. “Let me lay with you?”

Khai.

He nodded his head at his boyfriends request. He knew it was the middle of the day and Dorian probably had much better things to do. But, he wasn’t going to deny him. Even if he was still feeling like he deserved better. “Okay” he breathed out in a whisper. Standing up and wrapping his arm around Dorian so he wouldn’t fall again as they moved back to the bedroom.

#chats:dorian #chats:discord #ft.dorian #{dorian taylor;; don't you know you're fuckin' beautiful}

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