#fuck they hurt mme so bad man!!!

[glambots]

Kind of a personal HC, but I really like the idea that Moon speaks in "we/us" pronouns and Sun speaks with "I/He" pronouns. Moon is constantly of the mind-set that he's a part of the DCA and no matter how badly Sun wants to pretend that he can, he can't just erase him from existence. And Sun, of course, wants to do what he can to try and separate himself from Moon as much as possible. Sure, he's technically him, but He's the other him, which makes him not as bad, right?!

[aromantic-enjolras]

Actors in Les Mis (2012), by me

Huck Jackman (Jean Valjean): Not even trying. Also, I haaaaaate his vibrato, but that’s just me.

Colm Wilkinson (The Bishop): It hurts very very badly to say anything bad about the guy who gave us the best version of ‘Bring Him Home’ out there, but he was badly miscast. He doesn’t have the right range for this role.

Anne Hathaway (Fantine): Less bad than I remembered, still not singing and I hate it.

Russell Crowe (Javert): Gets too much shit. Second best singer in terms of hitting notes in the first third of the movie. Cast in the wrong genre, sounds good when he isn’t trying to sound operatic and failing.

Sasha Baron Cohen (M. Thénardier): Still not my cup of tea. Less cringy than I remembered.

Helena Boham-Carter (Mme. Thénardier): She’s so pretty. Her singing is decent.... I guess.

Isabelle Allen (child Cosette): when the best singer in the first third of the movie is a literal child, you know your musical has issues.

Eddie Redmayne (Marius): Miss Hathaway, learn from your peers. You can emote as fuck, cry on camera and hit your notes. Well done, man.

Amanda Seyfried (adult Cosette): She sounds like a songbird (positive). Definitely learned to sing from his dad in terms of oversung vibrato.

Samantha Barks (Éponine): Learn from the pros, people. I actually thought “well, of course I like her more, she has the first solo of the musical..... wait what” at ‘On My Own’.

Daniel Huttlestone (Gavroche): I like the Gavroche we got in our show better, but he’s decent.

Aaron Tveit (Enjolras): BLORBO. BLORBO BLORBO BLORBO. Also, good singer, but I was mostly vibrating in my seat, I’m not objective here.

Honorable mention - George Blagden (Grantaire): GAY.

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Readalong. Book Two, Chapter XVIII:

Themes in this chapter, some new, some recurring:

Women.

False friendships

Common folk adopting the views and mentality of the authorities that oppress them

Explicit critique of Honour as a masque of masculinity

Debby’s almost supernatural perceptiveness

Francesco Hayez' study and oil painting Accusa segreta from his Vendetta triptych

This chapter is all about Patrick and Deborah not communicating verbally. They have to recur to guessing each other’s (bad) moods from their expressions and attitudes since hiding the bad stuff is a habit for them. If they had been more open, they might have been safer from the immense threats closing in all around them, and they would have found comfort in each other’s love. As @counterwiddershins observed, this silence is what endangers them the most. And this chapter will display how the lovers keep trying to protect each other by not being wholly sincere.

Debby is still visibly distressed from Villepastour’s attack. Patrick finally gets back home (from being detained in a cell for the night by Villepastour) and he worries about her once he sets his eyes on her, despite her remaining silent. She won’t talk about what happened to her, since she is afraid of how he’d react. She chooses to keep the fact that a powerful man is set on raping her, has gone as far as to break into their house, to herself. She fears Patrick’s tendency to terror and rage, and fears to cause him anguish. She even suspects Patrick might get jealous. This is not the first time Debby has chosen to stay silent when being subjected to sexual aggression. She fears causing a scene and having church goers/the neighbours think she is the provocateuse, now she fears Patrick having an emotional reaction that will be harmful to him... Debby lives in fear of what others will think of her, of hurting her love. She puts her own feelings and safety well behind those other worries.

Borel inserts a rather silly line about how frivolous women are guilty of making their lovers jealous on purpose/when it’s appropriate to make a lover jealous (aka: never when a lover has Patrick’s passionate temperament) but Debby would never, because she is literally, not like the other girls.

This talk of jealousy seems out of place here... surely once again Debby is wrong -like when she has suspected Patrick had been the one stabbing her, instead of Chris- in assuming Patrick would be jealous of Villepastour? (jealousy might be mixed in a spontaneous reaction, but surely there are graver things at stake here??) We have seen Patrick speak explicitly against stereotypical macho behaviour. Either Debby knows things about him the reader does not, or more plausibly, the trauma from her long exposure to the violence of her father has made her secretly expect similar behaviour from any man.

(I literally don’t know what to do with these common sense rubbish, madonna/whore complex statements. Knowing how Borel frequently pretends to espouse ideas he will later contradict, it’s tempting to think he is playing with the reader once more, but so far there’s no indication that he is doing that. There’s a clear line drawn by him between Debby and the women of the court who use their sexuality for their social ascent, for example. The women of the court are all lumped together and there’s no distinction made between them.)

Then Patrick reveals Fitz-Harris has been arrested for composing songs against la Pompadour. In the heat of the moment Debbie reacts with joy at his arrest. Because she “instinctively” dislikes him, and because she thinks this is as case of fuck around and see what happens. She implicitly agrees that it’s good for Fitz-Harris to become a victim of censorship of the state/arrested sans trial by Sartine for composing a satirical song against Mme P. (she repents when Patrick tells her there’s no way of knowing if he’d ever be released)

Patrick is disgusted at how the other soldiers take the side of the authorities. Even the guys who were Fitz-Harris’ former “friends” when he was free. We see here the recurring theme of false friendships -an evil only the confort of the grave can make humanity immune from, as the prologue poem pointed out. Another recurring theme that is shown through this situation, is the common folk taking the side of their oppressors. We had seen this before in Tralee, with the Irish high and middle classes, attending the trials of their fellow countrymen -some of which were revolutionaries fighting for freedom from imperial England-taking the side of the English and enjoying the day wearing their Sunday’s best as if it were a parade. (Patrick also reveals the men used to sing vulgar songs against Pompadour themselves,,, afer Harris' arrest, they talk of her as if they always respected her)(Patrick says the men are taking revenge against Harris’ envious nature... but I’d say it’s worse than that, it’s more than that too. They’re taking the side of the powerful against a peer who’s a victim of power abuse, no matter how petty and idiotic he was. They are defending the right of a tyranny to incarcerate without the due process, anyone who speaks against any member of the court)

Patrick proceeds to critique the notion of honour explicitly this time (he did implicitly when refusing Fitz-Harris’ duel challenge) Honour, understood as the soldiers do, is, as it was for Villepastour, a patina a soldier or a nobleman wears, an empty word, a destructive force too, mere macho posturing: once a bro’s reputation is damaged, there is no law of honour binding them to the fallen man:

“These gentlemen, who have made a law out of avenging themselves with swords, avenge themselves with their tongues quite a lot too. These gentlemen, who have made a law of honour out of seeking to end anybody’s life, even a friend’s, were they to offend them by accident, have not, as it appears, a law of honour to not crush an absent man, and to not strike a stricken man. Not one has expressed regret, not one had the slightest laudable thought in his favour. Cursed be the man who has only befriended people who fear him for his arm and tongue! If he falls they would applaud. The lumberjacks have barely chopped down an oak tree under which the fearful cattle used to hide at the slightest storm, that it immediately runs to graze and destroy the branches that had so often lent it a generous shade.”

(excerpt from @sainteverge ‘s translation) 

These last words fill Debby with both pride and trepidation. She cannot let Patrick risk himself for an unworthy man.

However, strangely, they both believe he CAN rescue him. They think that if he explains to Pompadour why she has acted wrongly/or, why someone acted wrongly on her behalf without her being aware, she will understand and rectify the harm. Debby only doesn't want him to because she thinks it’s not worthy, because Harris doesn’t deserve it and in his place would never do the same for him. Neither of them thinks this could be dangerous for Patrick, and futile really... I am sorry to say they should know better by now. They are intimately aware of the power the nobles wield -they have had the examples of Cockermouth, Villepastour, even the libertine Bishop who has helped Patrick’s social ascent-... but they are naif enough to think mme P might be secretly a kind lady....

Debby also sums up Fitz-Harris' character, calls him a treacherous man, a betrayer of his brothers. Patrick doesn't contradict her. Her evaluation is so accurate he wonders if she knows/has heard about what happened between him and Harris. She hasn’t. Patrick was ready to believe she had supernatural powers, she thinks it’s the sensitivity and frailty of her body which enables her clairvoyance, she responds to sensitive vibrations (it’s interesting how neither of them justify this “second sight” via her being intelligent and observant, is the idea of “female intuition” lurking behind this?)

[artzychic27]

An akuma with reality powers, The Artist Family and the canon Art kids (maybe the other classmates too) meet each other

Their reaction? Chaos?

Another day, another Akuma for the Malevolent Miraculous team

This one is named Alterna, and they’re a scientist who got Akumatized because their alternate universe theory was rejected

They have the power to open portals to other dimensions

While fighting, Alterna grabbed Black Widower’s whip and used it to ensnare the team before flinging them into a portal

Once they land, they find themselves... In Paris? Only, something feels off, very off...

Since there doesn’t seem to be any danger, they detransform

They look around while getting weird looks from people. (Imagine the ‘Going into town’ scene form the Addams Family 2019 movie)

Nathaniel Artist: Everyone’s dressed so... Conformist. *Sees a magazine with Adrien on the cover* And what happened to Adrien’s new look?

Rose Artist: Is this one of the universes where his dad is a jerk?

Alix Artist scares off a few people by throwing a brick through a few car windows.

Marc Artist: Alix, don’t be rude. Let the others have their turns.

Manon approaches Marinette Artist and asks why she’s wearing dark colors

Marinette Artist: Manon, you know I despise all colors.

A few more minutes of walking, and they see Marinette Dupain-Cheng running to school

Marinette Artist: *Checks her watch* School has begun three minutes ago. She’s not very punctual, is she?

The Artist Family follow her to the alternate DuPont to see what’s going on, then they bump into Mme. Bustier, who was making her way to the teachers lounge.

Mme. Bustier: Marinette? But I just... I saw you, all of you in the classroom. And Marc, shouldn’t you also be in class?

The Artists rush to their respective classrooms and find their alternate sleeves, much to their shock

Nathaniel Kurtzberg: ... What the fuck?!

Nathaniel Artist: I could ask the same about your outfit. Must you insult my eyes with such a color combination?

Chloé: Ha! You just got burned by yourself, tomato head!

Marinette Artist: At least he doesn’t go out looking like a clown gave him a makeover.

Chloé: I’m telling daddy!

Marinette Artist: Yes, let your father get involved with petty teenage drama. That will get him more votes in the upcoming election. Now silence.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng: ... Thank you, me?

They explain what happened, (Leaving out the part about them being superheroes because this universe’s Lila will no doubt run her big mouth to Hawkmoth who they’re sure she’s working for), and the art club is not sure how to react

Alix Kudbel: So we’re basically the Addams Family?

Lila: Oh! You know, my great great grandfather actually inspired Chauncey Addams to create the Addams Family!

While the class eats it up, the art club and Artists just glare at her

Marinette Addams: It’s Charles Addams, idiot.

Lila: Oh, you guys hate me too? *Cue bitch crying*

Juleka Artist: *Waves a skull in front of Lila* Luxor, nexor, burst and burn!

Lila: What’s she doing?

Juleka Artist: Just a curse that will make your pants burst into flames every time you lie.

Lili: *Whining* Why are you all trying to hurt me?! I never lie! *Her pants bursts into flames and she runs out of the school before she’s left in only her underwear*

Alya: *To her Marinette* My sincerest apologies.

Suddenly, screams are heard, followed by Mme. Mendelive and her students running past the classroom. Marc Anciel and Artist walk into the classroom while being trailed by a clutter of spiders

Marc Artist: Well that was quite rude, wouldn’t you say?

Marc Anciel: In their defense, spiders are a little... Horripilante.

Nathaniel Artist just stands there, trying very hard not to kiss the alternate version of his boyfriend and wondering why his alternate self isn’t going kissing his Marc madly with passion

The Artists explain to the Art Club during lunch about their situation and tell them that they’re Miraculous holders in their world, much to Marinette’s shock since she’s never heard of the Malevolent Miraculous

The art club let their alternate selves stay with them until they can figure out a way to get back, but Nathaniel and Marc Artist insist that they stay together

Alix Kudbel and Artist volunteer to let them stay with them. (Cuz they ship ‘em!)

Marinette A is stunned to see her alternate parents, and when they welcome her with open arms since her own parents were always so distant.

Even when she shows her dark nature, they still treat her like family. She tries very hard not to show any emotion

When they’re alone, Tikki and Screech reveal themselves. Tikki explains that there are alternate realities with different Kwamis with similar powers to the Kwamis they’ve alternate versions of. Screech is her alternate self

Marinette A questions why Marinette DC’s Ladybug suit is so skintight and insists that she change her suit which Marinette DC doesn’t mind doing

Marinette A tells Marinette DC about her boyfriend, Damian, confusing DC a bit. What about Adrien?

Marinette A: Adrien wasn’t able to satisfy my needs. Yes, he’s quite attractive, but I needed someone who could keep up with me, worship me, be my love servant and follow me into the underworld.

Marinette DC: ... So who’s this Damian?

Nathaniel K insists that Nathaniel A spend some time away from his Marc so they can talk without them making out every five minutes

Nathaniel A: How is it that you have not gouged out your own eyes?! Your Marc is miles away from you, and you believe you have the right to live?!

Nathaniel K: ... We call each other.

Nathaniel K is starting to regret letting his alternate self live with him since he keeps starting fires! He had to hide all of the matches and anything flammable. And if that’s not bad, Chompp keep chewing on his sketchbooks

Once all of the fire causes were hidden, they bonded over their love for painting and sketching

Nathaniel K: So, your paintings are actually cursed?

Nathaniel A: Very much. One caused the mayor to stumble down the stairs and stay in intensive care.

Nathaniel K: *Thinking of all the ways he could torture Chloé and Lila with his art* ... Teach me.

Marc Anciel is trying not to scream every time one of Marc Artist’s spiders crawl on him, not wanting to seem rude

Marc Anciel: *Shudders* Oh, and that’s a black widow in my hair.

Marc Artist: They’re my favorite. It’s why I chose the name Black Widower.

To release some of the tension, Marc Anciel suggests they read each other’s writing... He will not be sleeping for a while after reading Marc’s Artist’s stories. He asks why his alternate self wrote eulogies for his Nathaniel

Marc Artist: I want others to know of the love we shared together before he’s put to rest. And who better to write my love’s eulogy than the one who knows him best? The one who has loved him, tangoed with him, stabbed his heart.

Marc Andiel ignores the last part and actually considers writing Nathaniel’s eulogy.

Alix K and Alix A are having an awesome time together

Alix A and Duuo throw grenades which Alix K dodges while skating until Alim tells them to do this away from the museum

They outrun the police, prank Kim by putting itching powder in the pool, and watch their Marcs and Nathaniels make out

It’s all fun and well until Alix A meets this universe’ Jalil. Her Jalil sold her out since there was a reward to turn her in, forcing her to run from the authorities and she’s never forgiven him

Jalil K assures her that he’d never do that and reminds her that family always comes first. Alix A is resisting the urge to cry and instead lights a firecracker in his jacket

Juleka A CANNOT stop staring at her alternate self’s Luka. She can actually see his face and body. And he can talk!

Luka: Hey, are Marinette and I a... Thing where you’re from?

Juleka A: She has two hands. Soon to be three when she takes Damian’s in marriage when they’re of age.

Juleka C and A bond over their love for the macabre and witch culture. She even teaches her a few spells to use against Chloé and Lila if she ever shows her face again

They work! Chloé broke out into a terrible rash, and all of Lila’s pants are on fire

Rabbid also may or may not have chewed up the rest of Lila’s clothes, forcing her to spend all of her money on new clothes

Rose A tries to get used to her alternate self’s love of bright colors and Disney movies, but it’s a struggle. So, she exposes her to the darker side of Disney.

Rose L is horrified but also a little excited.

They do a dark Disney marathon and watch all of the movies Disney tried to hide from audiences.

Rose A even changes up Rose L’s look so she looks like a badass punk Princess, which gives Juleka C a slight nosebleed

Rose L is still her bubbly self, but now also has a love for the darker things in life

The Artists stay in this universe for three more days, starting another goth trend in the alternate Paris by giving Adrien a makeover, introducing Marinette to Damian via pen pal program, teaching Nathaniel and Juleka how to curse their enemies, setting Lila’s clothes on fire a couple more times, introducing Marc to a more gothic style of or writing & Rose to a punk style of clothing, and teaching Alix all of the stunts she’s never even thought of doing that involve explosives

They also have a little fun with Nino and help him pursue his dream of traumatizing Gabriel Agreste

This involves chloroform, a coffin, and a walkee talkee. Gabriel is forced to listen to Nino’s voice for 12 whole hours, telling him to be a better dad to Adrien, fire Lila, and to give him $1000 dollars

Gabriel gives Adrien more freedom, fires Lila and burns all of the magazines with her face and name in them, and gives Nino $1000 dollars. Then he passes out

Nino: *Hugging the Artists* I... I love you guys so much. I don’t ever want you to leave. You have made me the happiest man alive!

Then Alterna shows up

Nino: NO! DON’T TAKE THEM! TAKE GABRIEL!

Adrien: Hey!

Nino: I’m just kidding... Not.

The Artists and Marinette transform. The Malevolent Miraculous team are shocked to see Chat Noir but are even more shocked when they immediately recognize him as Adrien

They’re able to defeat the Akuma even though Lila (Who’s being a brat because she got fired) keeps interfering by whining about her broken leg, this time in a skirt. (Loophole) And she keeps trying to snatch their Miraculous whenever she gets close to them

Jaws: *Uses power to make his teeth sharper* Keep crying and I’ll give you a real broken leg. *Lila shuts up and lets them work*

They defeat Alterna, and Ladybug and Nocturna use the Miracle/Malevolent cure to remove all of the portals opened by the Akuma and put people back in their respective dimensions

They start to disappear and head back to their dimension as the Bats and Ladybugs swarm around them

Nino: NO! TAKE ME WITH YOU! *They disappear* DAMNIT!

Alya: You have them. *Points to the Art Club*

Nino: Can they murder Gabriel or frame him for a crime?

Juleka: We can try. There’s six of us, one of him. Nathaniel and I now know how to curse people.

Nino: I’m in!

Alya: And while you go ruin Gabriel’s life, I’m gonna go kill Lila.

Back in the Artist’s Dimension!

Juleka Artist: Are we back? Is this our dimension?

Nino: Oh, thank God you’re back! Gabriel was starting to gain consciousness again and Adrien is becoming suspicious. I think he knows I’m keeping him in my basement.

Marinette Artist: *Sighs* Yep. This is our place.

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[dearchikkie]

My Dream Soulmate

MARICHAT MAY 2020

Day 11: Chat Blanc

A/N: this fic is ignoring the events of the canon Chat Blanc episode, also pretend Marinette doesn't have the Ladybug Miraculous + a Soulmate AU... I know, it's a lot. also, i’ve decided for my mental health, i’m just going to update with the prompts I have ideas on and when i feel like... sorry if i miss a prompt you liked, but after may i WILL write a fic for every prompt and post them here and ao3, enjoy :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧

At the young age of 9, Marinette had gained the courage to ask her mother what a 'soulmate' was. Immediately, Sabine Cheng smiled and sat her down.

A soulmate, she had started, was a lifelong partner. Someone to spend your life with, to grow old with. They'd care about you forever, and you them.

Marinette has been ecstatic. A soulmate! It sounded amazing, she'd always dreamed of a handsome prince sweeping her off her feet and taking her away to somewhere far, far away. And now that dream could become a reality!

There was someone out there, just for her. Someone to care for her. To cherish her. To love her.

But how would she find them? She asked, how would she separate them from the thousands of people she passed every day? She stared at her mother perplexed, to which Sabine had simply shaken her head. Marinette watched as she pulled up her sleeve, revealing a monstrous gash in her shoulder, clear signs of stitching through it.

When did you get that? Marinette scrunched up her face at the sight of it. Sabine covered it back down with her sleeve, remember that accident your father had last year? When he had fallen down the stairs?

Why of course, Marinette couldn't get the bloody sight of Tom at the bottom of the steps out of her mind that easily.

Well, Sabine continued, he has the exact same bruise on his same shoulder. Every bruise, scrape, scratch and gash would appear on her body in the same location her soulmate sustained it.

Thank god though, only the injury appeared; you barely felt the pain too.

With this new information, every mysterious knee scrape, stomach ache or simple scratch had a new feeling to it: when her nose bled she wondered if her soulmate had caused it; when her fingers ached she wondered what her soulmate had been doing so purposefully; she felt bad every time she accidentally pricked her fingers with sewing needles and cringed when she finally got her ears pierced.

But then things took a turn for the worse. As Alya's neck began to ache, Kim's elbows blackened and Mylene's knuckles bruised, Marinette started to get gapes along her legs and blood dripping down her face during class.

Luckily, Marinette knew she wasn't prone to sudden lethal injury, so she knew it had to be her soulmate, but could he slow it down a little? She was sick of suddenly vomiting during lunch or passing out during chemistry!

Then again, everyone knew why someone could be getting injured so badly: akuma's. The new threats rampaging Paris. Terrifying villains given powers only found in movies ran rampant in the streets seeking revenge against those who wronged them. Luckily, after a while they were returned to normal; whether that took someone random being beaten up thoroughly or some masked figure defeating them, it didn't matter. They always went away.

Until the 'Chat Blanc' appeared.

He'd been an akuma for three months now, and while he only appeared at night, he still was a terror: destroying billboards and expensive Agreste stores; turning trees to ash and trashing the homes of millionaires. He hadn't directed any specific person, he hadn't been taken down by a masked vigilante, and the police could do nothing to stop him.

No. Marinette shouldn't focus on that. She had incredible friends, went to a school she loved, had loving parents and wasn't completely failing in class. She had a lot of great things going for her; she didn't need a soulmate right now.

Despite that, Marinette couldn't stop thinking about them. Today, for example, she should have been paying attention to Mme. Bustier drone on about classic literature, but instead, she was daydreaming about her accident-prone soulmate. What were they like? What was their name? How did they act? How-

"CHAT BLANC!"

Screams were heard from outside the door as the students inside began to panic, "Ok everybody. You know the drill, emergency exits are at the back and west side of the school! Do not push or shove and leave your bags behind!" Marinette's classmates began shuffling towards the door, even Chloe [who had put up quite a fight the first time she was forced to leave behind her newest designer handbag] now followed without complaint.

Guess everyone was used to it now.

The calmness inside the classroom was now gone as students ran in all directions; Marinette watched as Kim leapt over a pile of debris, helping Max and Alix behind him.

"C'mon, girl! We gotta hurry!" Marinette moved away from them and let herself be dragged by Alya and Nino to the nearest exit. "Watch out!" rubble shot out from beside them and Marinette felt herself be pulled to the ground. Her blood ran cold as white flashed across the scene.

Alya stiffened beside her, and she could hear Nino begin cursing under his breath. A white flash flew by, the rubble before them crumbled and ash clouds rose from where they had once been.

Chat Blanc.

"Put your hands in the air!" police ran to the scene, swat teams appearing in front of the young teens. "Y-You're under arrest!" one cop shouted, sounding as brave as he could.

Chat Blanc glared at them all and whispered something under his breath. White mist materialized around his fingers as he gnarled his teeth at the nearest officer. Marinette could hear her heart pumping a mile a minute at the sight of his cold, violet eyes.

"This is your final warning; surrender or we will open fire!"

Chat Blanc opened his mouth slightly, revealing glaring white fangs. He smirked at them all and let his tongue slide over them, "Fuck off."

Gunfire rang through the air. Cops shouted orders as front guards reloaded frantically. In the face of it all, Chat Blanc easily dodged every bullet. Swerving and deflecting each one with his baton or tail. Then endless lines of fire; Marinette's ears began to sting from the loud firing,

"Get out of here!" a man with stubble pointed directly at the group of friends, that was all Alya needed before grabbing both Nino and Marinette and dragging them back onto their feet. For a moment, Marinette stared back at Chat Blanc. Instead of the usual fear, Marinette felt her cheeks warm and breath halt.

Chat Blanc froze and met her gaze. He looked at her with no malice, but instead, just confusion.

Taking advantage of his distraction, one of the shooters shot directly at his hand. Chat Blanc broke eye contact and glared at the guilty officer. He hissed in pain and shook his hand slightly, then pounced on him.

Before Marinette could see what happened, Alya hauled her away, sprinting together to the nearest exit.

Once free and around the corner of the school, Alya, Marinette and Nino all collapsed to the ground, heaving. Sweat dripped down their faces as a chill ran down their sides.

Marinette couldn't get his eyes out of her mind. They had struck through her; purple and bright. Why couldn't she get them out of her mind?

"Marinette! Oh, god-- are you ok?" Marinette stared down and followed Alya and Nino's concerned gazes. A thick, red liquid was dripping down her arm, staining her white shirt. She gasped and wiped it away, feigning pain.

But she felt nothing.

Her heart couldn't stop beating. Nino ripped off the sleeve of his jacket and carefully began wrapping it over her injury. She pretended to cringe in pain. She felt bad letting Nino care for a wound that wasn't even hurting her. But she couldn't let them know it was her soulmates. Marinette now knew exactly who her soulmate was.

She had watched her soulmate get shot. She had watched Him get shot. She had watched Chat Blanc get shot in the exact same hand as the one now bleeding.

It didn't take a genius to put the points together.

Chat Blanc was her soulmate.

Her soulmate was a criminal. A bloodthirsty akuma. A thief.

Oh god. Oh god oh god. Oh no.

No no no no no no no no no no

Nino barely caught her as she fainted.

End Note: guys!! I'm going to develop this oneshot into a short fic! after Marichat May is over, i'll be updating on ao3 and tumblr-- can't wait to start :)

[tangyyyy]

Lucille and Eliott met when they were both very young, here is a piece of their love story. They truly loved each other, maybe in a wrong way, but love isn’t always an easy thing to live and to do. From 2014 to 2019. From Lucille to Lucas, with a lot of Eliott in the middle. 

     Hurtful words  

 Tuesday March 18 2019, 6:36 pm

        Eliott hadn't left his bed for three days. His manic crisis had given way to a deep depressive episode. Lucille went to his side every morning before going to college and every evening on her way home from. The young woman didn't lie to herself; This situation wouldn't change their relationship. She was no longer his girlfriend, but she was still a part of his life. In any case, Eliott still occupied a large part of Lucille's life. Not being his girlfriend anymore didn't mean that she had to ignore every things which could happen to him.

This Monday, when she knocked on the door of the Demaury, it was Eliott's mother who came to open it. "Hi, how are you?” Asked the 50-year-old before taking her warmly in her arms. "I'm fine and you?” Lucille replied, putting her bag on one of the wooden chairs in the living room, as she used to do for years. "I'm good.” Mme Demaury went to fetch a glass of water and handed it to Lucille. "Eliott is waiting for you. " Lucille accepted the glass of water, raising her eyebrows on Eliott's mother. He was waiting for her? During depressive episodes, the young man didn't have the habit of waiting for anyone, on the contrary, he was more than indifferent towards any presence by his side. "He's waiting for me? -Yes, he wants to talk to you." Mme Demaury seemed worried. Lucille swallowed a sip of fresh water. "Listen Lucille.” Eliott's mother said putting a hand on the young woman's shoulder. "Whatever you did or said, I'm sure it wasn't motivated by bad intentions." Lucille looked down. The “talk” she had with Lucas on the houseboat Friday night. For sure, Eliott wanted to talk to her about it, Lucille felt it, it was logical, she wasn't stupid. She had never ceased, for three days, to remember her words and cries. She had gone too far, she knew it well. Sighing slowly, Lucille put the glass of water on the table and headed for Eliott's room. She knocked on the door and was surprised to hear Eliott's hoarse voice telling her to come in. Usually he didn't answer, didn't even hear that someone was knocking on his door. Lucille came in shyly. The young man was standing, facing the window and seemed to be watching passers-by walking in the rain of Paris. Lucille bit her lips. Never, in the last five years, had he taken the trouble and the superhuman effort to force himself out of bed in the depths of his depressive crises. There he was standing, his face serious, ready to talk to her about Lucas. So there was only Lucas to get him out of bed... "Hi..." Lucille said weakly. Eliott didn't answer. "You look like you feel better..." The young woman made herself more stupid than she was on purpose. Of course he wasn't feeling better, on the contrary, she knew it. But what could she say? What could she do? "No, I don't feel better.” Eliott's voice was deep, clouded with sleep, sadness, but also with anger. No, more than anger, hatred. Lucille clenched her fists in the pockets of her jeans.

"What did you say to Lucas Friday night?” Eliott asked, without preamble, turning to the young woman, staring into her eyes. His face was tense, he was clenching his jaw and seemed to be struggling to restrain all the anger he felt towards her. "I... I told him you were bipolar. -It was up to me to tell him. -He was worried and I... -Stop it right now.” Eliott's voice was cold and dry, his tone was unrestrained. "Do not pretend to worry about what Lucas could feel." He was right, Lucille was hiding behind Lucas's anxiety to feel less guilty for telling him all this bullshits. "Right, sorry, it was up to you to tell him.” Lucille looked down at her old Converse. "But that, you know, I could have understood... I was the one who fucked up first, I should have explained everything to him before blowing a fuse, as usual.” Eliott continued, his voice quieter but ten times more threatening, almost scary. "What's killing me, Lucille, is what you told him afterwards." The young woman seemed to run out of air for a few seconds. Cowardly, she had hoped to pass that in silence. Did Lucas tell him everything? The girl kept silence. "What did you tell him exactly? -Nothing important..." Lucille whispered in a pitiful voice. She looked up at Eliott. The latter looked at her with an air of disgust and judgment. This look made the young woman feel nauseous. She would never have thought that one day, Eliott could look at her this way. The man she loved, whom she still loved, felt nothing but hatred towards her. She owed him a minimum of sincerity. And after all, she had nothing to lose anymore... "He... He wanted to come with me to the police station, I refused.” The young woman paused, she hoped that Eliott would react to this first piece of information but he didn't do anything about it. Obviously, he seemed to want to let her spit everything at once. "Then he... Finally I hinted that as you were in a manic episode, what you felt for him was maybe a little... Blur." Eliott smirked without joy. His eyes were still so sad. "I know you Lucille, you didn't say it like that. -What does it change anyway? -Tell me exactly what you told him." Eliott didn't give her any choice and at the same time, Lucille knew it, she had it coming. It was her who had put herself alone in this situation, she had to assume the consequences. She had made Lucas suffer, she was hurting Eliott, was hurting herself. Definitely, Lucille was good for no one.

"I told him that you didn't love him, that you couldn't love him, that for you he was only a whim, that he... That he was nothing for you.” As if her words had the power to physically hurt the young man, Lucille felt a taste of blood on the tip of her tongue. Eliott closed his eyes and ran a hand through his messy hair. "Fuck... how could you say such things? -I... I'm sorry, I didn't think this... -Get out." Lucille flinched. That's what she dreaded the most in the world. This cold and indifferent voice, this rejection without any recourse. "Eliott, once again I'm sor... "Get the fuck out Lucille, I don't want to see you anymore. Do not come back, do not worry about me, it's over, everything is over." An icy hand came to enclose the young woman's heart. She stood still for a moment, watching Eliott reach his bed. She would have liked him to scream, almost to hit her. "Sorry..." She whispered. "Go." Lucille turned around and left the room, her head down. The young man had left her the opportunity to stay by his side as a friend, as a confidante but she ruined everything. All because of an unfair hatred for a boy who hadn't asked anything. Bravo Lucille, another great stroke of genius. In the living room, Eliott's mother took her in her arms, asking nothing. "Sweetheart... Now you have to take care of yourself.” She said, Stroking Lucille's cheek with her soft fingers. "I'm gonna try.” Lucille replied in a voice choked with grief and remorse. "Take time for yourself, just for you, only you. And... And if you don't feel well, you can always call me." Lucille sincerely thanked Mme Demaury and left the apartment. A few days later, Lucille was on her bed, writing an kind of essay for college. Wishing to escape the space of a few minutes to her sorrow, university work appeared to her as the only escape. Despite everything, her cell phone rang, the young woman answered to Mme. Demaury. "Lucille? -Yes Nathalie? -Oh God I'm sorry to ask you this, I know it's at the worst moment but... Do you have any news of Eliott? -Not at all. -Oh okay. He... he's gone, we're worried." The two women talked for a bit then Lucille hanging up. Then, well, she did what seemed to her to be the most natural thing, the most logical thing in the world. She looked for Lucas' number in her contacts and sent him a text. "Eliott disappeared. No one knows where he is, he doesn't answer... We're starting to freak out. Is he with you?"

[amuelle]

Breasts…

They grow with you from birth. From just nipples to mosquito bites to juicy juicy mangoes. Big, medium, small they are just there. Others have silicone in them and others are all areola. Some cause back pain and fill out bras well while others are barely noticeable. They come in all shapes and sizes everything from tennis balls, pineapples, and watermelons to beach balls. Full of personality, they refuse to be ignored. They are also very telling. They swell, shrink and itch and tell you things about yourself. If you have gained or lost weight, if your period is on its way, if it’s going to rain. They change as you change. A reminder of where you have been and could still go. Your breasts are for you to love or hate. No one can tell you about your breast…

In my early 20s when my breasts still pointed to the sky and required no assistance in backless tops I had a conversation with my father about driving. I had taken an interest because I saw the freedom being able to drive gave my friends. But whose car would I drive? There was only one car at home and….and nothing! I asked him and he said “Ahhh, its simple, you will drive your own car.” I was puzzled. Then he related a story of his first car. How he got it out of necessity to make sure he could get around with his wife and two small children. He didn’t know how to drive well at the time but he learned because it was a must. That conversation stuck with me. I accepted that he wasn’t going to teach me and I moved on.

When I first started working I paid for driving lessons, passed my learners but never tested because I didn’t feel ready. It wasn’t a must. I didn’t need it but getting the basic skills was something to do, so I did it.

I want to describe myself with one word but that wouldn’t do me justice. I am a late bloomer an over thinker and sometimes suffer from paralysing fear. But once I have decided I want something I am prepared to steal, kill and drink baby blood for it. I’m restless, inconsolable, focused and completely consumed by the goal. I never felt that way about the car until I moved to Joburg. From the first month I started working there it became a MUST. I was wholly consumed by it. I got my licence because it was TIME!! I had no savings, my credit was terrible and I had just broken up with a bad employer but I wanted a car. I decided I would struggle along for a few months save, work side gigs, ke be mme oa mokhatlo, hell I was ready to get a sugar daddy. All I knew was what I wanted. Now everything felt like “IF” I had a car things would be better. I spent the whole of 2018 and 2019 beating myself up about not having achieved the goal. I could be better, save more, this, that and the third but my life was in shambles. (I have said this before trying to achieve a goal when you are heartbroken makes everything more difficult)  My father was hospitalised and after he recovered my mother did her stint in the hospital and when we thought she was on the road to recovery she had to be hospitalised again. After a brief reprieve my grandmother passed way. Emotionally I was fatigued but still found time make myself feel bad. Friends got married, had babies and I got a promotion. I figured out how to get to Centurion from Krugersdorp using public transport which is no small feat but no, not a moment to clap for myself because all I knew was that I hadn’t achieved the goal.

Cut to a few weeks ago. My breasts now look me in the eyes and are tad bit fuller than before. I now own a cute periwinkle hatch. Lady Lola Coco the First. Not covid, bad investments or boyfriends I balled out on could distract me from my goal. I still couldn’t really drive. But Lady Lola was here and I was PROUD!!! My brother and my father came out with me on a drive or two but my confidence wasn’t up there. I asked my brother to go somewhere with me and he asked me when will I ever enjoy my car if I never drive it alone. It hurt to hear but man was he right, I wasn’t the best driver but I was save enough to venture out on my own. I had had a licence for years and so that Saturday I called a friend and decided I was venturing out solo.

The first time I ever drove alone 5 minutes into the journey from Ngoana oa lla to Salang I hit a pile of rocks and blew out my front tyre. I didn’t let that defeat me though. With some assistance I changed the tyre and pushed on. I figured it would have all been for nothing if I turned back. I went, picked up my friend got air in my spare tyre took a mini road trip. I dropped her off and finally when Lady Lola was parked in my Daddy’s garage. I climbed into the back seat and had a glass of wine. I was at wits end. So much had happened that day.

What do you do when what you hoped for comes but comes with difficulty? One torn tyre and all I could think was that I was the worst driver on planet earth. Accomplishing a goal doesn’t always mean you are emotionally ready for the toll that accomplishment will have on your life. I’m not a perfectionist but the things that I do, I like to do well. If it’s being a friend, quantity surveyor, blogger, putting seat covers on cushions for a functions or blowing up balloons I just don’t want to look stupid doing something. I put in work because showing up is part of it but being willing to learn what you don’t know is a whole magical aspect of life that sets you apart from the people who didn’t do what they wanted the most. Unfortunately, looking stupid is part of the journey…

Now, red wine drunk, swaddled like a baby in the backseat of my own car it hit me. Bitch, you still got more to do. And guess what??…..BITCH, I CRIED!!!!  I let it rip and NO I didn’t feel better after. Lady Lola has been in the garage for weeks. Now that I’m riding on a biscuit I’m too scared to drive. It’s riskier than before. I can convince myself EASIER that I’ll do it later but there is no later. Just like when you breasts first start to grow you can’t ignore it. YOU NEED A DAMN BRA!

I’ve come to the conclusion that emotionally you are never fully grown. Physically you stop growing. BUT life isn’t static your body and emotions will always have to adjust to your changing life and do the dance. Which means you have to change bras sometimes. You can’t wear a lacy number to a Zumba class, you have to get the full support of a sports bra to deal with the jiggle. I know in this current growth cycle my breasts are starting to settle, who knows maybe in time they will begin to droop and go from looking me in the eye to pointing at my feet. Maybe I’ll have children and use them to feed my young or fill them silicone, even I don’t know. What I do know is that this is the phase. In this phase I am a new driver who has no real reason not to be clocking the hours to become a better driver. Sure, I haven’t been thrown in the deep end but that day is coming. My sister brought me training bras before I had boobies big enough for a real bra. That was so I learnt how to put on a bra and dress for different tops. It’s the same way I have to get in the car and DRIVE till I get better. Ill drive slow and have mild panic attacks about rocks in the road and 4 plus 1 drivers but a bitch is doing the damn thing. It’s part of this growth cycle and it sucks but I am WILLING! Breasts change and adapt to different bras all the time. I’m learning to be like my breasts, getting on the road, taking up space and I don’t care who I inconvenience because I am here to GROW to my perfect comfortable size!

That said, fuck it! I still want to be wealthy enough so that I don’t have to drive!!!

Bisou…bisou