#fuck you surge /lh

[colorfulplasma]

let's go on this acid trip together .w.

reference and palette jumpscare

[rottingpirate]

your list of rules is minimal and honestly a bit pitiful /lh

SOAP HARD SEX TOP READER, i don't know what your limits are so maybe hair pulling

godspeed soldier

I'll do a part 2 cuz my brain stopped working halfway. So pleaseee bear with me on this one 😭

I also updated my rules list. Are you proud of me now?

Filth || John "Soap" MacTavish x M!reader

Warnings: deep throating, boot humping, some praise, come swallowing, kissing, semi-public??

Grinning up at you, Soap’s eyes showed nothing but innocence as his hands slid up and down your leg, reaching where the zipper of your pants was. Licking his lips, Soaps gaze moved from your eyes to your very apparent bulge.

Your hips involuntarily jerked into his touch; intoxicated by that look the brunette gave you. He swallowed thickly, arousal settling in his stomach as he placed his hand on your lower abdomen.

"Fuck- Soap," you warned. "We are still on a mission, we shouldn't..."

"Oh relax, there's no one here, we’ll be fine." He continued to massage you through your pants, how he felt you get hard despite the protests.

You look nervously over your shoulder, not comforted by the empty room.

"Re'ax, big boy. Just wanna suck you off."

"I am relaxed. But forgive me for not wanting Price to bust our asses doing this shit."

Soap hums, pouting slightly. "Backing out now, Y/N? Scared we’ll get caught ."

"Well, fuck it, it's your plan anyway." You spoke, trailing kisses down his neck, biting down, sucking a bruising mark. Soap hisses in slight pain.

Sliding his hand higher up your thigh, fabric bunching under his fingers as he squeezes gently, feeling smug when your breath stutters. He digs his fingers a little harder into your leg and is rewarded with a low groan and twitch of your hips into the touch.

Finally Soap sinks to his knees, the cold concrete floor almost made him regret his decisions. You kept a hand on the back of his head as the brunette loosened your belt, unzipped the fly, and pulled the pants down.

He didn't put it in his mouth at first, preferring a handjob from the base to the head, slowly, while biting his lip, looking you in the eyes.

A small moan couldn't be contained, the sound making Soap to increase the speed.

Biting your lip to suppress further moans as Soap was taking his sweet time, giving small licks to the head.

“You tease,” You groaned. "Well get to it then."

Soap all too eagerly obliged. Wrapping his lips around the head of the cock and sitting there for a bit before slowly taking more of you into his mouth. The weight of the cock on his tongue sends heat surging through him, and he bobs up and down at a slow enough pace to savor every moment. He circles the tip with his tongue before licking the cock down to the base and back to the tip.

The room was dark and filthy, worn and covered in a plethora of scratches, dust, blood and soil, it was such an uncomfortable position that the man found himself in. In the middle of a mission no less.

 A deep grunt left your throat as your gloved hand laced itself through the Scots hair, giving it a forceful tug back, bringing his attention to your face, his cheeks pink and chest heaving like he was fresh from training, it was a beautiful sight indeed. Pulling him by the hair again you pulled him off from your cock, leaving a trickle of saliva that fell down his chin, lifting him off the floor.

“Be careful with your drooling, you’ll get it on my boots.” You scoffed, brows knitting together as you scowled at the man.

“Oh but you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He sneered, letting his free hand stroke down your thigh, feeling as the skin twitched under his thumb. “C'mon Y/N, you'd like it. Me licking your boots with nothing but ma tongue 'n spit. You’re just filthy enough to get off on it.”  He shot back, voice breathless and not coming out the way he wanted it to. Without a moment's notice he pressed his lips harshly against yours. Lips crashing together messily as Soap moaned softly, biting on your bottom lip only to feel a hand roughly snatch his jaw holding him still as you backed up.

You honestly didn't expect him to listen, but in a split second, Soap's knees hit the ground with a loud thud, no snarky remarks.

"You have two choices. Finish what you started and we both leave satisfied, or we both get left high and dry."

Cheeky little bastard.

Your eyes soften and look at him more attentively. His head is down, but you can almost feel a smile on his face. He’s proud of himself.

Grabbing his face, fingers digging into his cheeks. A surprised gasp is the only reaction you get, Soap’s eyes half-lidded as he stares back, mouth parted slightly. God, he’s pretty. You knew it before, but there is nothing quite as beautiful as a man who’s begging for it.

A low whimper escapes you, feeling Soaps thumb on the slit of your cock, spreading the pre-come on the head.

"You-" you're cut off as Soap leans in and takes your cock into his mouth again, hands coming up to brace themselves againt your hips as he tries to relax his throat, focusing on his own pleasure as he grinded harder against the vamp of your boot.

You buck your hips forward. He gags, as some spit and pre-come falls from his lips, coating his chin even further and landing on the floor.

Soap's throat spasmed; he choked, and drew in an audible breath through his nose. Yet he fought through it, kept his hands on your hips and did his best to keep his throat relaxed, keeping your cock in deep. His eyes were closed, his face and neck red as he concentrated on doing this, on doing this for you.

"Fuck, careful. Don't hurt yourself now."

He pulls back. "Sorry" His voice is wrecked, deeper than usual and scratchy with use. His face cannot get redder as he stares up at you, glancing to your cock and back at your face.

He does all he can to make it good for you, hollowing his cheeks and picking up the pace. He wants, more than anything to make it everything that you deserve.

He’s rewarded with the soft sound of your moans, with the way your fingers curl in his hair, tense.

“I guess you were right, I am filthy enough to get off on this, fuck you’re amazing.” You murmured, leaning back against the cold wall. “Though if we don’t want to get caught, I suggest you pick up your pace.” A smug grin on your face as you buried a hand into Soap’s mohawk, taking hold of his locks to hold his head steady, pushing your hips farther so that his nose was pressed into your pubic hair . The man below choked, glaring up at you, gripping your hips harder. 

“ 'm sorry.” You told him, a tone of sincerity in your voice as you shifted your hips back and thrusted back into his mouth, listening to him moan and gag while still grinding on the boot.

You let out a moan as you fucked the man’s throat, pulling his head closer. At this point you could care less about time or the fact anyone could wander into the room to come find you two, if it's an enemy you could easily pull out your 9mm and shoot their brains out. Right now, your brain zoned in on Soap’s swollen lips dragging along with each thrust and the gentle swallow of his throat that felt just right.

You hoped that the man could feel your appreciation. He looked so breathtaking. Maybe you would never see such a scene again, or any for that matter.

Soap moved his left hand down your thigh, easing it between his own legs to get himself off, abandoning your boot.

Your lidded eyes moving to gaze at Soap, your breath slightly hitching at the sight. He looked so pretty, dark lashes wet, tears staining his flushed cheeks as drool made his lips and chin shine like wet grass in the morning sun. His hair was tousled from you grabbing it, it was enough to send you over the edge. 

You found your fingers digging even deeper into Soap’s mohawk and tugged just as you thrusted forward into the warm, wet heat of Soap’s mouth. Feeling slightly guilty as the man choked. 

“Always so goddamn good for me, aren’t you?” You whispered, the praise making him moan out around your cock, the vibrations sending a shiver up your spine. You almost hated to admit that you were already getting close, so fucking close.

Sex god or not, Soap’s jaw is starting to ache as well, and so it’s a relief when your words drop off towards incoherence.

"Holy shit" You half whine. “'m close—“ The reply you get is another strangled moan. You tugged at his hair one last time. Hard enough for his vision to fray at the edges. 

A thrust and a half later, you came, thick spurts across Soap's tongue, and he swallows as neatly as he can, his right hand now on the back of your thigh, so he feels every movement, every shift of your hips, every tremble.

"Goddamn," breathing softly, your fingers going loose in his hair and he can’t help but whimper, cock still in Soap's mouth. "Wasn't expecting you to actually fucking swallow it."

He sits back, lets your cock slip free and wipes the corner of his mouth with the pad of his thumb. The brunette's throat was bruised. He was on his knees, gasping for breath and red in the face. His scalp still burns even after your hand left, but at least it's not getting worse.

You helped him up and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. A gloved hand cupping his face, and he kissed you back. His lips were soft and his thumb stroked your jaw. He pulled away and whispered your name. You threaded your hands through his hair, gently this time and your lips met once again, this time more passionate than before. 

"Let's continue this once we get back, kay?"

[digitaldoeslmk]

Sooooo, that big attack that Wukong took for MK! 👀 Can you tell us a bit more about how that came to be, the scene itself, as well as the characters' reactions (I bet MK was distraught :'D) and the aftermath? Because I'm always hungry for some good ol' angst and drama! And that sounds delicious. 🙏

HAVHAGSHSUGD going for the throat are we xD /lh

LBD is the face of Macaque for this arc after MK exorcises Spider Queen (its a whole thing, she's not even the big bad in the S1 finale lmao), so the S2 ep10 has her use a very complex spell to effectively try to seal MK away in a pocket dimension pagoda and leech off his power.

its still MK being too eager to beat her and wrangle answers from her (like where tf is Macaque and what's his game?) so he gets captured way too quickly. the gang does their best to try and free him but it goes very poorly very fast. Red Son ends up having to use his Samadhi fire and it does give them enough of a window to get the rest of the gang to safety, but it's not enough.

Red Son is getting real close to going full rakshasa demon on her, but Wukong steps in with Nezha in tow. together they manage to put LBD on the defensive (remember that with MK's powers, LBD can match Nezha's as in jttw and Wukong is limited in just how much he can directly affect the mortal world thanks to him being there basically illegally) and MK manages to use some untapped fifth monkey powers to shatter the pagoda and escape.

in a last ditch attempt to not lose her prey, LBD summons enoigh energy to cast a big shard of sealing ice at MK, which Wukong uses his enlightened powers to switch places with MK and gets fully impaled by the attack. gore splatter and the whole shebang.

needless to say MK freaks the fuck out cus oh fuck oh fUCK, and literally everyone is shocked and horrified that a minor yaojing can harm Wukong at all much less fucking impale him (Macaque let her borrow a fraction of his power just in case). the spell syphons his power and well, enlightened dharma power meeting yaojing demonic spell is a bad mix. LBD gets stunned by the surge of true power she receives, and the group uses the window to get the fuck out of dodge thanks to a bit of interdimensional travel and Nezha's fire-wind wheels boost.

Wukong is alive of course, duh, but seeing a bodhisattva wounded so badly is def not gonna leave the gang's minds anytime soon. he recovers in a jiffy and while he's not nerfed to hell and back, LBD and by extension SEM do have a fraction of his cultivated power which is not insignificant, and that's the real pickle.

[kinleysienna]

I miss him so much. He is away doing set-up for the training exercises at that other base. The hotel wifi is absolute shit. Soon he will be in a tent in a field and not able to sleep on calls with me. That will be hard.

I am almost five weeks pregnant with our little Pickle. The baby we tried for. the baby i prayed for. the baby i grieved every time i received a negative test. The baby i drove like hell to conceive as soon as i got that LH surge. The cause of the flutter in my heart every time i ponder our future. The tears in my eyes when i think about everything to come.

His divorce is in progress, I’m preparing the papers for mine. I am worried my ex will try to fight me for custody, i don’t know that i can in good conscience move across the country without my children if that becomes an obstacle. I am praying it does not.

I am so in love with this man that my brain and heart can hardly process it. I was terrified of being abandoned, but i fully believe in his devotion to and adoration of me. His love is all over me, it’s in my womb and it’s in my heart.

I can hardly wait for the day when i get to see him again, when he sweeps me into his arms and kisses me. Maybe he will propose. Maybe we will just elope, but his mother and our closest friends want to attend, so probably not.

I just want something small. Cross Lake at sunset would be more than enough for me.

Vowing to love and protect and all that other shit, even though he hates lucky charms. blah blah, i now pronounce you man and hopelessly-in-love-with-him wife. Now move across the country and have his baby, live in a too-small apartment with your already-earthside children and his clumsy dog. You’ll be beyond poor and incredibly happy, you’ll have too much sex and not enough money and drive each other crazy.

We will always have queso cups, and we’ll pay way too much to have crawfish shipped across the country because we are crazy louisianians who like to eat and dislike money.

We’ll introduce my kids to real snow. We’ll raise our baby in it. We’ll give the baby another little sibling, and people will mutter “don’t you know what causes that” in stores. He will say fuck you, and i will say, “why, did you want a demo?”

I don’t know if i believe in twin flames, but if they are real, i believe he is mine. He is the only man with whom i have had orgasms that brought me to tears. He understands me in ways I’ve never before been understood, and he talks to me instead of shutting down and ignoring me for hours. He works through conflicts with me and fixes them. He sees my dreams and works toward them. He makes me feel alive.

I hope beyond hope that he will be just as much in love with me when he comes home as he was when we conceived this child.

I do hope he will propose. I have never been proposed to. If anything, i gave my ex an ultimatum and he was too much of a bitch to turn me down.

It occurs to me that i could just propose to him, but i want to see.. i refuse to plan a wedding i haven’t been invited to, and I’m firm on that. I will begin planning aggressively as soon as you invite me, but you have to do it.

Who knows. Maybe this time at the training base will be a reminder of why we are doing all of this. Maybe he’s already ordered my ring. Maybe I’m just dreaming.

[cuuno-moved]

okay so i absolutely am going to need you to share the bryce meltdown fic /lh

adkladfhkf ok. it takes place right after he gets out btw

There was no one there to greet him.

Of course there wasn’t, the last patrol had been months ago, and this was the woods, but somewhere in his mind, he’d imagined some sort of celebration, people gathered to say hello, people who loved him, who missed him, who would take him into their arms and say they were so glad he was okay.

When was the last time he’d been hugged?

“I was a kid!” He screamed, loud, and somewhere birds left their perches, flying up into the sky, squawking. “I was a kid and I was scared and you just left me!”

The woods were silent.

“There’s no patrol,” He spat, and slammed his hand into a tree. It felt good, so he did it again. Then again, until his entire arm hurt. “There’s no fucking patrol for the dead fucking city because NO ONE IS IN THERE!”

He picked up a branch, slamming it against the tree as hard as he could. It rebounded, sending him reeling.

Veiler clucked and he whirled on it, swinging the branch. The chicken easily sidestepped, and he swung again. And again. And again.

“STAND STILL!” He bellowed, accidentally spitting all over himself, like some useless baby. He wiped his face off furiously, throwing the branch into the underbrush. His hands stung, and his shoulder hurt, but he surged forward, kicking at Veiler.

“Go away,” He spat. “Get the fuck out of here.”

Veiler clucked at him, dodging his attacks easily, turning those stupid stupid eyes on him. He turned, walking away. It didn’t follow him.

[maxemilianverstappen]

Okay, so aston Martin admin fucking embarrassing, your driver said only last week he isn't happy racing for P9-P10, the team has failed to meet it's own set targets for this year after producing a shopping cart for a car, he is trying to do everything to wrestle that car into points and you are d-riding a competitor?? Like the previous few days/months their tweets have just been cringe, but this is the plain disrespectful to their own driver lmao...

Same for Seb fans here who have very conveniently crowded his tag with posts asking him to get overtaken by the Lord almighty... Seb in a brick on wheels, trying to chase after another driver, and instead of hoping he keeps a position or better gains one, his fans are praying he gets overtaken, I mean, just say you are a fan for the sake of it, because apparently Seb is angel reincarnate, not here to race but to be the PR weasel for AM, Merc and LH, and that if he ends up in a championship battle again, you'll ditch him that very moment. It's so embarrassing lol, like I am fully expecting Seb to get hate by people on here who claim to be his fans if his car decides to work for once and he ruins someone's race by not letting them pass, like I don't remember but I wouldn't be surprised if people already did that in Monaco considering Mr. Undercut/Overcut expert managed to make it work there and jump 2 spots effectively keeping a certain someone in his starting position

ANON.....

this was so sexy of you, it got my heart racing ngl

Ehm... Seriously tho.

His fan profile changed so much within a few years, I doubt there are many people left on his side who actively followed him during Redbull and Ferrari years and remember all the accusatory/demeaning/undermining interviews that his close competitor and his team boss used to give about him and his team(s).

Aston Martin admin must be an airhead, because they are using this immensely cringe shipping stuff that is both out of place (in moderation things like this are good but the level of 🙄😬 they reached together with Merc admin is unbelievable) and also ignorant of the past the shipped people shared. I am a shipper, too. I like my social media fix, too... But this person is also the mouth piece of a freaking corporation and should actually check their tone and how they are acting as if this is a romantic walk on the beach instead of a sports with millions of pounds at stake.

I doubt I would be happy to read their idiotic shippy asslickery if I was a sponsor of them even tho I might try to turn a blind eye at their Merc c.ck worshipping, that same engine provider which made Seb wait for a spare engine for almost 6 fucking races, lol....

And.... In Sebastian's words... Are these people in this for making a safe way to their engine provider or actually racing like the 4 times WDC that they got wants. If they forgot, someone should remind them that they aren't a satellite/junior team and Seb is there to race for wins, not act as a doormat for a driver with whom he used to fight for WDCs, for fuck's sake. Stop sucking ass for a while and build a car that's worthy of him.

Also, while I am all for everyone to have their h.rny thoughts finding an outlet on Seb's handsome self, thank you very much for the ride ppl, I hope some people should understand that they can't reduce Seb's relevancy or importance or agency into the role of a "supporting character" who is only nice to stan as long as he is this goofy/funny/quirky guy who is not a threat. They should also stop treating him as lulu's pretty arm accessory/woke bestie who got his enlightenment thanks to lulu as if the guy doesn't have any functioning brain cells of his own to think. But I guess the way they feel the rightousness surge thru them also blinds them. They are funny.

[ttcthesmallwindow-blog]

A bit of honesty PLEASE!

So, I had really good feelings about this month.  Ovulation day during the Easter Holidays.  No stress from work.  Taking things at our own pace.  Nice and relaxed.  That’s what everyone says... “Just relax, it won’t happen when you’re stressed.”  “You’re thinking about it too much...it will happen when you stop trying.”

In all honesty, how the fuck is that going to work?!  Ok, so I get it, when the body is at it’s most relaxed, everything should work, right?  The problem is a woman’s bloody body has it’s own sodding schedule to work to.  

period...ovulation...implantation (or not)...period...and so on...

All I was told, all I remember being told, all I remember being drummed into me at school was “Don’t get pregnant.” “Use contraception.” “If you have sex you WILL get pregnant!” 

pregnant, Pregnant, PREGNANT, PREGNANT!  

Who fucking knew it would be so damn hard?  Even the doctor who removed my implant was just as bad, first thing he said... “Be sure to use contraception because your fertility returns immediately.”

Why on earth does no one think to tell you that 

the average couple takes approximately one year to conceive, 

or that the highest percentage chance of pregnancy (for a 32yr old) each cycle is 29.8%. 

Or that even to get that 29.8% chance you have to hit this really small window of time. 

Or that in order to hit ovulation bang on you have to track bodily fluids, body temperature, cycle days, LH surges and god only knows what else! 

It sucks, and makes you feel like crap, then you add hormones and real life into the mix, and after all this your period arrives, so the whole ghastly cycle starts again!

Women need educating on pregnancy and how their bodies really work, not this scare mongering technique which seems to be currently employed.  A Sex Ed revolution should be on the cards methinks!

Ginny

x

[ttcthesmallwindow-blog]

The Almighty Fertility Guru

My bestie (whom I converse with regularly on matters of the womb) just had a 48 day cycle and has wee-ed on an infinite number of sticks at varying times of day, but has yet to detect an LH surge!

“How can I get the husband into a routine if I don’t know what my own routine is or when I’m going to ovulate?” She asks...

Obviously, I quickly become the Almighty Fertility Guru... “Are you tracking your cervical mucus?  What about your basal body temperature?”

Her reply... “How can that work?  What if you just get hot in the night?”

(Almighty Fertility Guru shall not be thrown by such completely sensible and rational questions!)

“Well, obviously as your body is not exerting itself (big words totally necessary) it gives a true resting body temperature.”

(Almighty Fertility Guru status secured)

“Yeah, but what if you just get really fucking hot under the duvet, because it’s hot outside and you have the windows closed?”

(Feel Almighty Fertility Guru turban unravelling fast!!)

I don’t know, I really don’t know.  Will a doctor actually want to see a record of my BBT, or know the changes in my CM?  I just don’t get it!  

They want to know what my BMI is, if it’s too high I might not get pregnant...because overweight people never have babies?

They want to know if I drink alcohol, if I do I might not be able to get pregnant...because no one ever got pregnant when they were drunk?

They want to know if I smoke, If I do I might no be able to get pregnant...because smokers don’t have babies (for the record I am a non-smoker.)

They want to know if my diet is healthy, if it’s not I might not be able to get pregnant...because you can’t get pregnant after taking down some fast food?

Could someone please send a real Almighty Fertility Guru my way, because all this Dr Google is driving me nuts!

Genie 

Ginny

x