#fucking Amazon

[dopplerdora]

What the fuck is this!?!

[iant0jones]

Ahh yes, I love Dorian Gra

[thoughtsofthegirlwiththecurl]

Also CAN I JUST SAY, I've been sitting here for years thinking Amazon had a ton of content, like on par with Netflix at least, and they really really don't??? Like, I shelled out to support GO and RWRB and thought I'd see what else they have before cancelling but over half the stuff on there is freevee with commercials???? Bitch if I'm paying $15 a month I better not even SMELL a commercial what the fuck??? And the rest is like just season 4 of some random show???? Y'all live like this????? You're paying $15 for the opportunity to rent a movie THAT YOU THEN FURTHER HAVE TO PAY FOR?????? Get a Vudu account! Go to the library! You deserve better!! Be free!!

[obeekris]

Daaaamn, the large website named after a river is super-anxious to remind us that apparently the Christmas season is now completely over.

Just saw a commercial for them for packing up Christmas and holiday decorations, and it's only Dec 27th.

[this-action-will-have-no-echo]

Rings of Power Episode 7 (Major) Spoilers

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I must say that up until this episode my only real complaint is that the pacing has been too slow.

But now they've 'killed' off Celeborn (read: he's going to magically appear at some point - either episode 8 or in the next few seasons) and they've 'killed' off Isildur.

I was expecting him to either appear majestically on the horse that they set free or be captured by Adar at the end of the episode, but neither of those happened so don't know how he's going to magically reappear

It's so sad cause I was so looking forward to this show, but it just hasn't lived up to my expectations

[ravynfyre]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

As a force of habit from my years driving a firetruck, I back my truck into my driveway, so the nose always points out. (I back into parking spots, too... all for the same reason - ease of leaving) So I'm expecting that Amazon delivery tonight. I leave my porch light on all the time as long as there's no bugs out, so my porch is well lit, and my driveway is literally only 40 feet long from road to sidewalk to my porch... sidewalk isn't even 10 feet. If the driver stopped at the road, rather than backing or pulling in like they always do, it would be a walk of no more than 50 feet from the road to my porch. NOT THAT FUCKING LONG.

So where did the amazon driver leave my large box with my brand new cordless chainsaw in it?

They set it on the ground in front of my truck. Took a picture with my front license plate and everything. Leaving the box in plain sight about one car length from the road. It would take someone driving down the very unbusy road less than 5 seconds to park their car, hop out, grab the box, throw it in their car, and drive away.

Guess what happened!

Too rushed, too tired, or too fuckin lazy to walk the additional, like, 30 feet past my truck to my porch, the driver left my package right next to the road in a very obvious place, and it was stolen in the literal less-than-10-minutes between receiving the "your item has been delivered" notification, and me walking out to try and find it. LOLOLOL.

-sigh- the replacement has been queued up to be resent tomorrow, but who the fuck knows if/when it will arrive. (According to Amazon, Friday... but I have played this game before when they failed to deliver my air conditioner and it had to be replaced... that took 10 days)

TL;DR?

No chainsaw for me tonight. Driver couldn't be arsed to walk 40 feet to my porch so it got stolen from the end of my driveway.

[khyrrn-v2]

Why is amazon fucking infiltrating our platform. Do you have any idea how many posts I’ve found under seemingly innocuous titles offering jobs at amazon?

[graphicnovelist]

hmnnggggg everything belongs to like 12 companies and they’re all evil. I can’t feel good using ANYTHING

[heavenbarnes]

anyways, as i was saying about older bf!simon and his willingness to please learn

pt 2 to this

“you ever heard of a nut video with sound on?”

obviously, he hasn’t- far as he’s concerned, if you haven’t told him about it then it doesn’t exist to him.

no skin off your nose, you’d spend the rest of your life teaching him about the ‘latest trends’ if it meant he kept sending those filthy fucking videos to your phone.

(your favourites on tiktok were purely filled with ideas)

he’s holed up in a remote location, killing time till he can be home and actually do something to you rather than send you a bloody video about it.

your instructions come through clear and concise, just how he likes:

“it’s what’s written on the can, si- you can pick the setup but i just want to see you cum and, most importantly, i want to hear it”

you’re lucky simon is such a practical guy and maybe you could thank price one day for making him so good at following orders.

when he’s got his alone time he’s setting his phone up to record on the edge of the window sill, moonlight fighting through the curtain to illuminate him.

he’s lost the bulkiest of his gear, down to his tactical trousers and a compression t-shirt. the images in his tattoo sleeve almost move when the light catches them right.

balaclava on (the one that just shows his eyes above the painted image of a skull) and he’s standing up to undo his belt (that you think looks like an airplane seatbelt).

you can hear his boots against the floorboard as he steps back to give you the full view of him undoing his trousers, taking his sweet time because he knows it drives you fucking batty.

he’s so big that the phone is working overtime to get all of him in the frame but you see exactly what you need to- thick thighs at your eye line and massive hands drawing down his fly.

on (you assume) the other side of the globe, you’re at home in your shared bed and you’re propped up right in the middle with the smell of simon engulfing you as you watch the video play out before you.

(if you’d thought about it you should’ve cast it to the bedroom tv, hoping the neighbours didn’t mind)

simon sits back down with his legs spread wide, one hand gripping his thigh as the other rubs himself over his boxers. his eye contact with the camera was fucking intense, like you’d hoped, just like when he’s on top of you.

he’s dressed in all black and the moonlight is obscured but you can still see him firming up in his pants. his eyes flutter, an infinitesimal amount but you’ve been tuned into his every move since you met him.

your thumb leans hard on the volume up button and you can hear the diegetic sound of the building expanding and that usual technical hum that comes with a video. but at this pitch, you could hear him.

his breathing was chopped, chest expanding visibly as he pulled his cock out into clear view. jeeeeesus christ, it was never something you just got used to.

long, reasonably straight, fucking thick. even his hand struggled to make it look smaller as he wrapped around it, giving one dry tug.

as he closed his palm over the tip, you saw him make a swipe before he brought his hand back down considerably smoother than before. you’d had your hands down his pants enough times, man leaked like a fucking faucet.

simon’s head tipped back as he started to pull himself off, balaclava raising just enough to expose some of his throat. if you were there you would be perched in his lap, letting him do the work but running your tongue under the lip of the fabric.

one of the best things about the videos simon sent was, he didn’t really understand how sexy he was. he didn’t think any of the videos particularly watchable so he’d just send them on first take. if you liked them, you liked them- yours was the only opinion that mattered.

what that meant was, you never got b-roll. everything he sent you was unbridled perfection. captured exactly as it happens with no faffing about.

always whatever you’ve asked for, whenever you ask.

(simon’s nothing if not inexplicably obedient)

he brings his hand under his chin to spit into the wide span of his palm, wrapping back around his cock and tugging. his foreskin moved over the head, rolling back down and thick veins bulging under his grasp.

you’d almost forgotten the conditions of your request, totally fucking enamoured by the sight in front of you when it caught you off guard.

a guttural moan ripped out of simon’s chest as he twisted his wrist.

his free hand moved to cup his balls, big and heavy, he rolled them in his palm as another groan sounded out of him. what you wouldn’t give to be knelt between his thighs with the whole lot in your mouth.

you knew how much of an ask this was, you really had to work him up to making noise when it was just you two in bed. these days? you couldn’t shut the man up when he was balls deep and his face was buried in the crook of your neck.

but this was another step, this was him on his own with his crew just through the walls. he’d be a plain liar if he said there wasn’t that rumbling trepidation in his chest. he’d put it to bed though.

all he had to think of was you, one hand gripping your phone and the other between your thighs as you watched him through with a hazy smile- that kept him going.

with the thought still heavy on his mind, you didn’t have to strain to hear your name drift off his lips. his hips bucked into his hand as he did, speeding up the motion of his strokes.

you were going to black out, his tattoos flexing and his chest expanding with every stuttered breath. simon looked like a god among men and he fucking sounded like one too.

“fuck, sweetheart- you’re so fucking filthy giving me orders like this”

your cheeks were burning, he wasn’t wrong but you weren’t expecting him to call you out quite like this.

“what does that make me? always so fucking eager to do what you say? make a dirty old man, yeah?”

wheeeeeew that’ll do it, your thighs snapped together around your hand as your eyes nearly rolled back in your head. whenever you thought you couldn’t take any more, he was always there to do you one better.

“only for you, pet- you can always get whatever you fucking want from me”

and you knew he was serious, that’s what made it all the more debilitating. simon was unshakeable, you’d seen him go out of his way to defy orders if he didn’t think the person worth his time.

when it came to you? you could tell him to kill and he would.

(he probably had)

simon’s hips were twitching, back arching in a way he’d rather die than have anyone else know about. his mouth was hanging open beneath the balaclava, your name and a string of expletives falling off his tongue.

so quick you nearly missed it, the hand that was cradling his balls moved to grip the fabric of his shirt and push it up his toned front. you couldn’t call his abs cut and defined, there was aged layer to them, but they were undeniably there.

you’d rested your head on them, pressed your palms against them, even ridden them enough times to know they were there. regardless, he looked fucking perfect under the moon glow as he stroked himself hard and long.

eyes locked onto the camera, broken moans on his lips, you saw his hips lift one last time as thick spurts of cum began to paint his stomach and chest.

scars illuminated under the night sky, mirrored by shiny patches of hot cum splattered across the same stretch of skin. the hairs on his chest were matted with sweat and were now being splashed with how far he was shooting.

you could only watch with your mouth hung open as he tugged himself through his orgasm. soon it was only the sound of his laboured breathing, chest rising and falling as he tucked his soft cock back into his pants.

just when you thought that was it, you found one of his hands lifting up the edge of his balaclava till his lips were exposed. two fingers of his other hand swiped up some of his spend before he lay them on his tongue.

knuckles in your mouth, biting down to suppress a scream, simon readjusted his clothes as he stood and took a heavy step towards the camera.

one hand braced on the window sill, the other gently gripping himself through his trousers- his voice was so fucking gravely it could’ve reverberated round your room.

“what’s next sweet’art? you name it, it’s yours”

[la-undercover-latina]

Y’all pray for me!! My back is MURDERING me rn

My poor bf has had to hear me bitch about it for like almost 2 weeks now but this is the worst it’s been

[scarecrowdrugs]

My copy of Carrie arrived damaged; I'm literally about to start biting

[themo-themo]

The Boys are back so a reminder

The actor playing Frenchie - Tomer Capone, was not only an IDF soldier but a squad leader.

With his brigade taking part in The Second Lebanon War that killed over a thousand civilians and left 900 000 people displaced.

And he obviously is in favor of Genocide Joe for sending funds to Isn'treal to continue to colonize Palestine.

Free Palestine 🍉🍉🍉

[skulkingfox]

My persona 3 reload preorder has been delayed...

[miyku]

[pervysmirks]

This is validating - I knew it wasn’t just me!

[cyrusthedragon]