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jensettermandu · 4 months

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-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙮-

1.1

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

content warning; MDNI, morally grey characters, toxic relation/situationships, domestic abuse, violence, substance use/abuse, mentions of weight/toxic beauty standards, dubcon, a lot of smut (spitting, spanking, bondage, choking, rough sex, etc. appears), age gap (legal), mentions of sensitive topics, not made for glorification of toxic relationships.

chapter wc: 12k+

Y/n opened the door to her apartment as the knocking wasn't stopping and groaned at the person on the other side.

"Seriously?" She annoyedly questioned Jennie and blocked the way when she tried to step inside. The girl pursed her lips, she stood in front of Y/n dressed in grey sweats and a grey sweatshirt, both soaked in water as the rain was pouring outside the whole day. In her hold were still her car keys and phone as her chest somewhat heaved–she probably ran up the stairs like she always did.

It was hard to believe that this was Jennie Kim.

"You said it yourself that you're home alone." She reasoned, sniffling as some of her wet hair stuck to her forehead. The younger girl heaved a sigh at that.

"Yeah, but I didn't say come over, Jen, there's a huge difference– I'm busy studying." She frowned at the vixen's words and stuffed her things into the pockets of her sweats. Her eyes trailed her body, the girl's dark chocolate brown hair up in a messy bun, hair strands loosely falling over her face, it was hard to not look at the piercings protruding through the baby tee as she didn't have a bra on and a pair of simple grey sweats.

"Okay...So, I'm just supposed to drive back now?" Jennie questioned as she had driven for a good 30 minutes from her place just to get to the girl who said that she was alone and studying when she texted her. Jennie had been bored the whole day and Y/n was busy studying. She never wasted an opportunity when the girl in front of her could squeeze her into her schedule which was filled with mostly studying and a part-time job.

"Yeah." The taller girl confirmed and pushed the door to close it and Jennie was used to the mean demeanour of the girl. She stopped the door and forced it open–she was much stronger and the force made Y/n take a step back while Jennie invited herself in. "That's an hour wasted driving here and then back for nothing." Jennie decided herself for the both of them, ignoring what Y/n wanted because they always did what the younger girl wanted.

"Jennie, that's seriously not my problem. Now get your ass out of my apartment." The older girl only locked the door and kicked her shoes off as she stepped into the single-bedroom apartment. "No, you can study, but I am staying 'cause I've been bored the whole day and you haven't been alone for ages." Y/n watched as the girl walked past her, making herself comfortable in the younger girl's apartment the way she always did.

She sighed and walked away from the door where she had stood and Jennie looked over her shoulder at Y/n's light footsteps, watching the girl who walked into the bedroom.

She crouched down and picked up the Russian blue cat named Vinci who scurried over to her from the couch. His purring was loud as he always snuggled with Y/n and finally, he started to like Jennie too even if Y/n had insisted he never would since he has only ever liked her. His wet and cold nose brushed against her warm neck as his claws dug into her sweatshirt and she walked towards the bedroom through the small apartment that was dimly lit. The second she stepped through the door she would be greeted by the living room and open kitchen. It was small, but it wasn't weird considering Y/n was still studying full-time.

She walked in through the open door and the bedroom consisted of a king-size bed with a grey backboard, the covers white and not made but rather left the way they were when the girl woke up in the morning. Beside the bed against the wall stood the white vanity table that was used as a desk too where Y/n sat. On the other side of the bed was the door to what was a small closet although beside it stood a clothing rack with the girl's clothes hung up as the closet wasn't enough. The fairy lights stretched above the headboard and Jennie was quite sure that they no longer worked, but Y/n would never do anything about it. Aside from that, there was a shelf by the door filled with vinyl records and a vinyl player and that was it, together with the window close to the vanity table where rain was harshly hitting the glass.

"What're you studying?" Jennie questioned, wanting to make some sort of conversation with the girl who usually cut the talking short because that wasn't what they had been meeting for the past four months. Y/n glanced away from her laptop and in the mirror, her eyes catching the brunette who held Vinci against her hip like a kid–the cat cuddling into her.

"The same thing I always have to study, economics, I haven't changed courses."

"I could help." Jennie offered as she specialised in anything connected with the subject. Y/n knew that, but she would never ask the girl for that kind of help.

"I need you to realise that I truly will never want you as a study buddy or anything like that. I already told you that I don't even want you here tonight." They held eye contact for a second more before Y/n looked back at her laptop.

"The mean girl facade won't chase me away, it doesn't bother me, Y/n." Jennie let her know as she knew that the girl was a cold-hearted bitch for a reason, but it truly didn't bother Jennie. For the most part at least. She only hummed at that, not sparing Jennie any more of her attention.

She let the cat down and watched him run out of the room, hearing in the distance as he climbed in his cat tree and Jennie closed the door before stepping further into the bedroom that smelled sweet and of white florals. "How long are you staying alone for?" She asked and walked over to the girl, getting behind the chair Y/n was in. She stood behind the girl, her hand coming over to the exposed skin as she traced her fingers over it. "Till Monday." She simply answered, trying to ignore the slightly cold hand that ran over to the front, fingers sneaking under her shirt and tracing along her collarbones. It was Thursday which left the girl with a weekend to do whatever she wanted to do.

"I'd never let you stay the weekend alone or alone in general." Y/n never read too much into Jennie's words, it was just some type of turn-on for the woman. "I'd never take my eyes off of you, let you text someone who isn't your friend or let you go out with someone I don't know too." Y/n knew that Jennie was in reality just a toxic piece of shit that tried to come off as this perfect type of partner by using words that were supposed to be protective, but with a deeper meaning never would be. It wasn't like it mattered to her since she wasn't with the girl.

"I like my weekends spent alone or with friends." The girl mumbled, swallowing as Jennie ran her hand back up over her neck.

"I know that you enjoy going out, but it wouldn't happen without me there to make sure you're safe and fine." The vixen rolled her eyes and the fingers came up to her jaw. Jennie gripped it and made Y/n look up, holding onto the backrest of the chair with her other hand, making Y/n look her in the eye.

"Asher does a terrible job at keeping you his."

"Maybe 'cause he doesn't own me," Y/n replied, giving the girl that made her sound like she was a thing to own and take care of a forced smile.

"But you are labelled the same way he is."

Well, Y/n knew that it wasn't right, that cheating wasn't excusable, but here she was, going behind her long-term boyfriend's back for the past four months. Her excuse was the good and more of her type of sex that came with Jennie, but that's all it was, sex. She tried to make it fair and excusable in her head even if she knew that it wasn't. Jennie was good and satisfying sex while Asher was someone who truly treated her right and trusted her because they loved each other. They had been together for four years now in the end and lived together as they continued to study at the same university where they met at 18 and he 19.

It was also where she met Jennie although the girl didn't study there.

[Four months ago]

Y/n continued to watch the 29-year-old woman at the front who had been holding a speech for the class for the past hour about stockbroking and entrepreneurship. "You don't think she's glancing this way quite a lot?" Y/n looked at her friend Lisa who sat beside her as they sat in the middle row, her cheek resting against her fist as it was a Saturday and the hungover was still keeping her dizzy.

They usually didn't have anything on Saturdays, but Lisa had been kind enough (Not really) and signed herself and Y/n up for this lecture from a person who became a millionaire at 20, a billionaire at 25 and had dropped out of university and become an entrepreneur before starting her own stockbroker company. Y/n had lost track, but she had no clue how this was supposed to help as it felt like someone would be stupid enough to drop out and try to achieve the same thing only to fail miserably.

"Called Parkinson, her head is twitching our way against her will the way she's fighting it," Y/n commented and both she and Lisa tried to keep their giggles quiet. She had realised that Jennie Kim had been glancing their way quite a lot, but it looked like she tried not to. Lisa shoved the girl who made her giggle louder than intended as everything was much funnier when they weren't allowed to be loud and had been sitting bored and hungover for a good hour.

"Y/l/n and Manoban." The voice was stern from Professor Kalinski and the two nudged each other with their knees under the table. Seemingly it got louder than intended in a classroom where only one person had been speaking and everyone else had sat quietly or talked with hushed tones or only talked to ask questions. As Kalinski said it took a while to get the woman to come and hold this lecture because she was extremely busy.

"Sorry, we're really sorry." Lisa apologised and Y/n held back the chuckle at how forced that was and got nudged once again, making Y/n do it right back. Her eyes landed on the brunette who was dressed in simple loose dark blue jeans and a plain white shirt with sunglasses resting at the top of her head. If she hadn't known or heard about Jennie Kim before she would have assumed the woman had gotten lost along the way and wasn't some billionaire who walked around with a manager and bodyguards. Despite the designer, she dressed simply.

"Sorry doesn't excuse this disrespectful behaviour." Kalinski pressed and Y/n inhaled before deeply exhaling as she leaned back and rolled her eyes. It felt unnecessary for Professor Kalinski to drag it out even more, that was even more disrespectful in her opinion as he was taking the woman's time.

"No, it's fine." Lisa nudged Y/n when Jennie spoke up and the girl raised her eyebrows at the woman at the front.

"She says it's fine." Y/n pointed out and looked at her professor, but instead of him speaking up about the matter, Jennie continued.

"It's fine because maybe you two have something to add or point out about the lecture I've held for you today." The two got offered a smile and Lisa glanced at Y/n, wondering if Y/n would say anything while also hoping she wouldn't because the vixen rarely held back.

"Not really, we just—" Lisa got cut off by Y/n who sat up straight, her glossy and plump lips parting as heads turned when she spoke. They usually did when it came to the girl who had become known as unattainable because of being hard to get close to and also being taken. Her exotic beauty made her stand out and not fit in at a college but a runway.

"I do have some points to make about this whole lecture." Jennie nodded at that as she leaned against the Professor's desk and took the glasses off from her head. She pointed at Y/n with them and gave a nod of affirmation. "Go ahead then, I am always open to criticism and feedback." She gave her averment with her eyes on no one else but the girl whose eyes were alluring from across a room, leaking with seduction that had the older woman stunned.

"I think that having Miss Kim hold a lecture was genuinely a terrible idea." Y/n started as she saw no point in the woman coming and telling the class about her life, and then lecturing them a bit about entrepreneurship and stockbroking. Jennie hummed, nodding along to what the girl said, listening to every word she said with her eyes not leaving the girl for even a second. They were drilling into her but not in an angry way, they just stared.

"Why is that?" The woman at the front asked and Y/n sucked air through her teeth.

"I believe it might give many the wrong impression that anyone can drop out and become a billionaire."

"Anyone can." Jennie prompted and Y/n shook her head as she had read about it all before and what Jennie had been talking about wasn't anything new to her. The only thing new to her was the little life story she told about dropping out, how she started and where she was now. Things Y/n would never have any use of.

"Yes, anyone can drop out and try, but not everyone will succeed and what they risk is dropping a sustainable future for something that only approximately 0.035% of the whole world is. The odds are against most people in this room even if they were to become at least millionaires which is like 1.1% of the world despite the numbers of millionaires are growing."

"What would you do differently then?" Jennie asked as each point was valid and the younger girl had a sharp tongue for sure. It would irritate Jennie, but she was too blinded by everything else to be hurt and instead, it only enhanced the vixen's beauty.

"I wouldn't be selling unattainable dreams to students who are desperate for money and willing to try most things— most people in this room lack common sense." Some murmurs followed the words that were directed towards the whole class and it wasn't the first time the vixen had done something to upset a classroom. Jennie smiled at that and cut Kalinski off who was just about to speak up, probably to give Y/n yet another warning for her attitude.

"Would you mind talking with me after this lecture? I believe we could exchange some words that could benefit us both."

"Depends, I'm on a tight schedule Miss."

"Five minutes?"

"Fine." With that Jennie went right back to where she had been stopped when the two giggling girls distracted the whole class.

"What the fuck are you two going to talk about?" Lisa asked in a hushed tone as she had no clue what the two could contribute to each other. She knew that Y/n would probably take it seriously or continue ridiculing the woman just because she could. "Don't know, I'm just hungover and tired." Y/n groaned and rested her elbows against the table before burning her face in her palms.

It wasn't long until the lecture was over and Y/n had gathered her stuff together with Lisa. The professor and Jennie were talking with each other at the front and it had slipped the girl's mind that the woman wanted to talk to her until Lisa spoke up while they were walking down the stairs to get to the door.

"You agreed to talk with her, so do it," Lisa said and pushed the girl in the other direction before walking herself towards the door. Y/n heaved a sigh that seemed to catch the two older adults' attention. Professor Kalinski glanced at Y/n before he looked back at Jennie, the two shook hands and bid goodbye before the man grabbed his things and left together with the three people who had been with Jennie. They closed the door and left the two alone.

"You seem like a sharp-witted person..." Jennie trailed off and looked at the girl as she was fishing for a name she did not know. This time standing face to face with the girl who looked like a copy of Irina Shayk, but with grey-blueish eyes, her scent was making Jennie lose even more of the track she tried to stay on, but the more she tried to keep an eye contact with the siren eyes the harder it was becoming.

"It's Y/n. I don't know if I can say the same about someone who lectures students about dropping out and shooting at stars in broad daylight." Y/n wholeheartedly said as she still hadn't changed her mind about how stupid this whole thing was aside from the 30 minutes Jennie had been speaking about stockbroking. "Plus to be able to summarise your life story in an hour seems pretty sad and not as story-rich as you try to come off as. Not all rich people need to have a sob story behind their success. You could have just said that you struggled at the start, but had a support system which were rich parents." The girl drilled on in a tone that let Jennie know that she wasn't enthusiastic about this at all because of how monotone it was and low, holding a rasp to it compared to the tone she used earlier.

"That's kind of harsh." Jennie pointed out. She hadn't had anyone stomp her this way before and she couldn't determine how she felt about it, Y/n shrugged.

"I hear that they call reality quite harsh." She gave her a smile that was also as forced as the other ones before.

"That they do, but I think your words are refreshing since not many people are this honest with me." It was a change and reality check even if she didn't necessarily like them, but this one came in handy for the future.

"Well–" Y/n started and ignored the lingering gaze on her body as it wasn't the first time. Jennie looked over the washed-out olive green denim skirt the girl had with a tight spaghetti strap top in a similar colour with a velvety material midriff zip-up that was a darker grey. The pair of white shin-high boots made her taller as she was already taller than the older girl by probably four inches. "Have you considered the thought that if someone is leeching off of you and your money they might sugarcoat everything for you?" She finished and Jennie looked up after trying to finalise in her head if the girl had her nipples pierced or not. She did and Jennie shifted in her spot as her hands found their way into the pockets of her jeans.

"I have been told that it might happen." Y/n nodded at that and gave Jennie a look that stated that she was quite done with their five-minute talk even if it hadn't been five minutes yet. "Wait–" Jennie stopped the girl who was about to turn around and leave and Y/n stalled as she looked at the woman with a hum.

"Would you want to meet up and continue this conversation but go into more depth on a day when you aren't busy?" She questioned and looked at Y/n with hopeful eyes. Y/n contemplated for a few seconds as she didn't know Jennie more than from what she'd heard and what the woman had told about herself. She had a boyfriend too and wasn't sure how he would feel about it, but at the same time it was just a meeting and Y/n never expected or assumed these things.

"I'm not really into fancy restaurants and wine." Y/n declined as she could tell that Jennie would want to meet over some fancy dinner which wasn't her cup of tea at all. The latter scratched her nape and hummed. "Yacht party next Friday?" Jennie offered.

"Motion sickness." Y/n declined, making it hard for Jennie who let out a gruffly hum in thought at how impossible it felt to get to talk to the girl. It felt like roles had been switched and that the vixen was the busy billionaire although she knew that she was just as busy with studying as she was with work.

"Club opening on Saturday, invite-only, we can enter from the back to avoid any cameras." Something was telling the girl that if both her Friday and Saturday were booked by parties, the girl wasn't just some fancy CEO but lived a life filled with parties that Y/n could not afford or experience since she didn't have the same status.

"I guess." Jennie nodded at that with a small smile. "Do I get your number then?"

"Sure." Y/n was handed the phone and she quickly typed in her number before she handed the phone back and the door to the classroom opened. The two looked at the entrance where a tall and lean guy peeked inside, brown curls, dressed in a pair of washed-out blue jeans and a black tee with vans. He smiled and Y/n returned it.

"Lisa said you would be here, sorry if I am disturbing you two, I will wait outside." He apologised and closed the door after him again. Y/n looked back at Jennie who had a small frown.

"I think that's all, you can text me, I don't answer calls, anyway, my boyfriend is waiting, bye." The woman didn't get to say anything else as the girl was already walking towards the door, leaving only her sweet and flowery aroma.

"So, you're going with this Jennie Kim? How old is she, Y/n and who is she?" Asher asked the girl who was busy finishing her make-up by the vanity table as she applied lip gloss. Her boyfriend was always present and watching her get ready ever since they met as he would leave sweet and cheesy compliments about how good she looked and how much he loved her.

"29 I think? She held a lecture last week since she's this billionaire that owns a stockbroker company and shares in many other companies that do different things from entertainment to entrepreneurship." Y/n explained what she had heard about the woman who was going up in net worth every living second. The woman who could sleep on money Y/n could only dream about, money most people could only dream about.

"You haven't heard about her?" She questioned and looked at the guy older through the mirror. There was a whole buzz about the woman as she even had TV ads, interviews, being a guest on programs, shoots and whatnot. Her company was more known than her, but she still had a great following and wasn't just some old CEO, but someone attractive who was among celebrities with invites to luxury events. It felt hard to miss her and Y/n just so happened to be going out with her, but she wasn't too invested in Jennie as a person. She always had an interest in the topic of economics and always took opportunities when she had them.

"No...I'm not interested in all that stuff, you know that I am more invested in volleyball." She hummed at that as the guy was prone to playing professionally soon enough as he was being offered deals and was playing for the university's official team. "I just want to know that you will be fine and nothing bad will happen to you." That was the guy's only worry, Y/n's safety as it was the most important thing to him.

"I will be all fine." She reassured him and got up from the chair as she turned off the mirror lights. The vixen walked over to her boyfriend who looked up at her as he sat at the edge of the bed, facing the vanity table. She grabbed his hand as he intertwined their fingers, his hand being much bigger than hers, the guy was bigger in general as he was a middle blocker at 6 '5. "I don't know if you have to wait 'cause I'm not sure when I will be back." The girl said. It was already 9:50 p.m. and her phone notification went off as she was supposed to be picked up at 10.

"So, your boyfriend just lets you go out to clubs with anyone?" Jennie asked as the two were almost near the said club. Y/n got busy with her phone through the middle of the conversation although not in a rude way, but simply because she had to mute it and send a quick reply to her group chat with friends so they would let her breathe.

"Why wouldn't he?" She questioned and put her phone beside her bare thigh, this time dressed in all black. A denim skater mini skirt, lace corset top and an oversized leather jacket. She couldn't tell if Jennie was heading to a club or if she was heading for a quick run for groceries as she was dressed in simple loose jeans again and a long sleeve with a black blazer just as loose. Jennie shrugged at that, deciding not to comment further on it.

Y/n wasn't stupid, she had caught Jennie's lingering gaze a long time ago, it was evident when they first spoke, but she honestly always ignored those gazes as she always stayed collected. It wasn't like she could do anything about it since she didn't control people even if certain gazes made her uncomfortable at times. She knew better and if she paid any mind to those she wouldn't be talking to many people at all. People got over their crushes and befriended her instead. Somewhere along the conversations with Jennie at the club that had gone surprisingly smoothly and weren't conversations where Y/n was hissy, some things did go wrong.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Y/n exclaimed as she stared into the mirror in front of her. Her pupils were blown, her body felt warm and fuzzy, warm enough for the leather jacket to get discarded in the club, her heart was beating hard and not too steady and she kept her jaw clenched to not bite off her tongue because of how her jaw was jumping basically from the bruxism. The feeling was all too familiar as she had taken it before, but it had all been willingly and not this way.

"I swear, I told her to hand you the water, but not that water." Jennie tried to excuse it as the water with ecstasy got handed to Y/n instead of the regular one. The girl was under the influence of alcohol so the taste didn't occur to her until she felt its effects. At least she had gotten closer to Jennie which made it less stupid to be high at the moment.

Y/n turned around, her siren eyes looking at the woman who she had been drinking with tonight while talking— not only was she drunk, but now also high on molly. She patted over her body, her touch feeling like brushing feathers over her body that felt like a warm and fuzzy cloud as if she was dipped in a warm and comforting bath, a sheet of sweat covering her from how warm it was. "My phone is in your car. Do you have gum? And please for the love of God, can we do something that does not include standing in this bathroom." Y/n rambled, stumbling over her tongue before clenching her jaw again to not injure herself, but the hard clenching wasn't much better because it felt like her teeth would crack.

Although she couldn't care about it since she felt too good and suddenly she wasn't too mad as she felt like every little thing that had ever bothered her, or happened, or her shitty mental health had all disappeared and she felt invincible to everything harmful. She felt free and open. Jennie bit her lower lip, looking into grey eyes that were black from the blown pupils.

"Come on," Jennie said and grabbed Y/n's hand, it felt like she was wrapped in cotton candy and the urge to just cling onto the woman was getting overwhelming Jennie guided her through the club. It took longer than necessary as Y/n talked to everyone they stopped by as people would greet them, but in the end, they reached the club's roof terrace that had been off limits because of uncertain weather. The wind blew cold against Jennie's skin, but against Y/n's it felt like feathers brushed her skin. Y/n gently chewed the gum she asked for from a girl they ran into who seemed to be in the same situation as her.

"Why did we run away from the social party?" Y/n questioned as she felt like talking to everything and everyone.

"I don't want you to get a heat stroke," Jennie replied and guided the girl along with her towards the couches that were under a roof. Y/n's hand was cold in her hold, holding a water bottle in her other hand that only had water this time, but the girl was heated up to the point where the clothes she had on now felt too warm to wear despite barely having anything on.

"Have you taken ecstasy before?" The older woman asked to make sure that Y/n would be fine, she glanced over her shoulder to see the girl looking around the place with her lips parted. Her eyes sparkled as everything felt much more mesmerising and meaningful, to the point where meaningless things felt meaningful as the stars were close to making her tear up from how pretty they looked in the night sky. Y/n sighed as she felt great.

"Yeah, a few times, but I always get fried after so I try to only take it once or twice a year," Y/n explained, adding more than needed as Jennie sat down on the terrace couch and pulled Y/n down beside her. She opened the water bottle and handed it to the girl who sat slumped on the couch. Y/n took it, her mouth constantly running dry as her heart continued to pound in her ribcage. The emotions felt so real and heightened and she handed the water right back to Jennie after taking a sip.

Jennie didn't mind when Y/n grabbed her hand and wrapped it around her shoulders before leaning against her. Her body felt like a cloud that was embraced by another warmth as she wanted nothing more than to be held and in someone's company. It was like gentle waves that washed into shore and were heated by the sun, sparkling in the light. "I don't think we should stay long, you might get too cold...Your body isn't regulating heat or cold like it should." Jennie commented and pulled the girl closer to herself as Y/n's body started to get cold yet was still covered in a sheet of sweat and her hands felt a bit clammy.

Her eyes looked over the girl who was leaning against her, she couldn't lie and say that it didn't feel like another ego boost to hold a girl who looked like a Victoria angel. Her long legs brushed against Jennie's, exposed and glistening, her scent lingering around them, her cleavage being somewhat in the view from the top-

"It must be nice to be this rich," Y/n mumbled as she thought about who it was that sat with their arms wrapped around her as she laid with her cheek pressed against Jenne's clavicle. Her ears picked up the calming beat of Jennie's heart and the older felt like a fluffy bear the way she held her. The drug made her more touchy and open for it as she wouldn't otherwise be so clingy with the woman, but it felt too nice.

"Yes and no...It's like you said; some people only leech off of me and don't care about more than the benefits of being close to me. Dating is also quite shitty. It gets lonely at times. Money does buy happiness, it also gets you friends and partners, but it tends to be fabricated." Y/n tilted her head back at that and looked at Jennie who looked back down at her. She chuckled at the girl who was chewing the gum with her mouth closed as her jaw was still impossible to unclench.

Y/n pouted. "I feel bad for you now." Jennie laughed at the tone of the girl and reached her hand over to her face.

"You will hurt yourself, try to open your mouth a little, Y/n."

"I can't." Y/n whined as it felt hopeless and overwhelming with how she couldn't control her clenched jaw.

Jennie gripped her jaw and could feel the vibration from how hard it was clenched. "That feels good," Y/n mumbled and closed her eyes, Jennie brushed her fingers along her smooth face. The feeling was still like feathers as her skin felt so soft and made each hair on her body stand. It was making her melt.

"You're really beautiful." Jennie complimented as she felt more daring now that the girl's cold demeanour was gone because of the drugs and she was acting all soft, whiny and mushy. Y/n sighed and opened her eyes as she stared at Jennie who she found very beautiful too. "I know, but it's hard to be this pretty, I am sure you understand." Jennie couldn't help but laugh as she continued to gently trace her fingers over the girl's face and down.

Jennie decided to use this chance and ask the girl some questions as she was somewhat drunk–answering questions too and Y/n was high and not as cold and closed off anymore. Maybe she could insinuate and get close enough to the girl.

"What's with the mean girl attitude though?" She asked and traced her fingers down Y/n's neck who lay with her head against her shoulder. The two looked at each other and Y/n sighed once again through her nose, enjoying the way Jennie softly ran her fingers over her sensitive body. They went over her collarbones, running down the neckline that stopped in the middle of her chest and back up, it brought shivers over her body and Y/n felt like she would melt from how good it felt to be held and touched.

"I've been a bully since middle school and I guess it just stuck to me and now I am what people like to call a mean girl..." She explained.

"Is that it?" She asked as it felt like a short answer.

"I'm not mean to my friends or family, well, I am at times but in a joking manner. I just guess it's easier to push people away when you aren't approachable. I also decided to live up to the stereotype and be a mean pretty girl instead of a dumb blonde since I otherwise would get categorized as dumb simply because of the way I look. My looks are preceding." She listened to every word that came from Y/n, getting a better understanding of what it felt like to be her. Y/n opened up and let Jennie take a step inside and see what her world could look like.

Jennie's was much different.

"Why do you push people away?" She watched the way Y/n jutted out her lower lip. The intense emotions surged through her whole body. "Because people come and they go, but I don't like the going part, I hate it, I truly hate being left alone."

"I can see how being mean helps with that."

Y/n gazed her eyes over the older woman who stared at her with an intensity that felt dangerous from how it made her body tingle when she would usually ignore it. The warmth just felt too good to pull away from. She hummed at Jennie's words that crawled gently over her skin.

"Did you agree to come because of the benefits of seeing someone like me?" Jennie asked in a whisper and ran her hand up to Y/n's face. She traced her jaw as she waited for the answer, feeling like the girl would be honest with her since she was under the influence of the love drug and people tended to just spill their feelings when they were. Jennie knew because she did and tried to avoid the drug unless she was around people she trusted dearly. The water with ecstasy was truly an accident, but maybe it wasn't such a bad accident.

"Yeah, but for the benefit of your knowledge even if your lecture was fucking stupid. You know things I don't and I don't mind learning from someone who has experience, but I don't care about your fame or money or your personal life...I get nothing out of it since I am content with my life."

"I have a lot of experience Y/n if you don't care about those things, experience in a vast majority of things and knowledge too that I wouldn't mind sharing." Jennie licked her lips, her tone dropping to a more hushed one as it was low in pitch too. Y/n found herself swallowing down her dry throat as the woman ran her thumb over her bottom lip.

"I don't think that's—" Y/n started, but Jennie stopped her.

"You should open your mouth before you hurt yourself, Y/n," Jennie said and grabbed hold of her jaw once again. This time Y/n parted her lips and Jennie leaned closer as she turned her body. "We should replace your gum too." She added and gestured to the girl who pushed the piece of gum out from between her lips and Jennie proceeded to take it and toss it away. It wasn't a bad accident as it let her insinuate much easier and let her get into this position with the model-like girl.

Then came yet another wrong turn as Jennie helped Y/n lay down who held onto her shoulders, settling herself between the girl's long legs. She looked at her as she pushed her hair away with one hand, the other resting beside her head. "Will you mind? If you do, just tell me to back off because I am not forcing you into anything, Y/n." Jennie spoke, leaning closer to Y/n's plump and glossy lips, her enticing scent sweet and floral, the vanilla lingering on her lips. Y/n's mind felt fuzzy and her body even more heated in the moment with Jennie on top of her who smelled of citrus, spices, cedar and musk. It held a comfort, the scent was calming.

"You will stop if I tell you to?" Y/n asked to make sure as she couldn't figure out if she would back out in the middle or not as everything was overwhelming.

"I promise you, star," Jennie reassured the girl who nodded.

It felt too good to deny with her fingers already threading into Jennie's hair, relishing in the feeling of all the textures that felt like the euphoria that she was in. Jennie leaned in and closed the gap between them, catching the girl's lips with hers as Y/n pulled her closer to herself. Her heart was pounding against Jennie who was on top of her with her hand gently running along her waist which was enough for the younger girl to sigh in contentment at the feelings.

Jennie tilted her head, pushing her tongue into Y/n's mouth with her hand running under the corset top. It felt lavish against her body, it felt too good to have hands run over her body and Jennie's warm and slick tongue pressing against hers. The older girl pushed herself more into Y/n, pushing her semi against her as the alcohol had made her horny to the point where she had been walking with it since the bathroom.

Y/n lightly hummed, feeling Jennie press against the heat between her legs, making her push more into the older girl whose hand found it to her breast. Jennie pulled away from her lips, watching Y/n's face, her pupils blown in a daze and her fingers played with the girl's pierced nipple and she smiled. "You're so sexy, I had a hard time looking anywhere else in that classroom." Jennie's voice sent goosebumps over Y/n's skin who leaned back in and caught her lips. The girl cupped her breast, brushing her thumb over the jewellery and hard nipple.

Their breathing grew heavier, Y/n's chest heaving as her lips let go of Jennie's, too overwhelmed by all the touch over her body. The girl pushed her one leg apart more until it fell down the couch and Jennie made herself more comfortable between her legs, this time Y/n could feel Jennie's cock pressed against her heat fully as her skirt rode up her thighs. "Feels good," Y/n mumbled as her eyes closed at the lips that trailed along her neck. They were wet kisses like a paintbrush gently painting her skin. Jennie hummed at the words that gently brushed their way into her ears, Y/n being lost in bliss.

The vixen moved her head and Jennie looked up at her. Y/n's heart was picking up more and more, the throbbing becoming too much between her legs as it had left her underwear damp. "I want you to fuck me, Jennie." She breathed out and Jennie kissed her once again, the words making her dick throb at how much she wanted to do what the girl asked for.

She sucked on her bottom lip, savouring the taste of vanilla from the lipgloss while reaching her hand between their bodies, the other still resting beside Y/n's head. The music was completely muted in their world, the faint talking coming from below them from outside the club, the nightlife of the city being at full speed while the two were melting in their acidic clouds of lust. The world didn't disappear, but they went through a door to a new one. It was an invite to Sin City.

Jennie unzipped her pants, pushing them down just enough together with her boxer briefs at the front to take her leaking cock out that was scalding in her hold, the vein throbbing. Blindly she pushed Y/n's skirt up more and the girl whimpered when Jennie brushed her fingers over her wet pussy as she pulled the lace underwear to the side. The only thing on her mind was to bury herself deep within Y/n's warmth as imaging it hadn't been enough.

She pulled away from her lips, still brushing over them as they both held them parted, breaths fanning against each other from their hitched breathing. She guided her sensitive tip to her entrance while pumping herself. Y/n's breath fell short when she felt the stretch, Jennie's tip slowly pushing into her tight hole as the two moaned. Y/n drowned in how it overtook her body as Jennie moved her hips in one smooth motion, filling her and making her moan and whine at the painful stretch that somehow felt good at the same time.

Jennie stalled her movement at the snug grip on her cock, the girl being tight as her pussy greedily took her throbbing in-need cock. All she wanted to do was milk the girl full with her cum. The older woman wanted to remove their clothes and be able to see the way her cock stretched the girl out who was holding back on whimpers. To be able and see how her thick cock spread her lips and pushed inside. Her pussy was wet and warm, fitting her tightly. "You're so tight, Y/n, you feel so good." She moaned, placing both her forearms beside the girl's head as she buried her face in her neck.

"Fuck, oh god, fuck, make me feel good, Jennie." Y/n practically begged at the stinging stretch, feeling the scalding dick deep inside her. The woman on top of her let out something between a moan and a groan when she started to move. Y/n's hands clutched onto her shoulders as her head got thrown back. The thrusts picked up to deep and rough, with each a light moan followed by how full she felt and the way Jennie's pelvis was brushing against her clit. Her cock dragged along her walls, getting swallowed by her slick cunt, the girl feeling the way the bulbous pink tip caressed her g-spot as it curved just the right amount. It was making her whole body tingle and clit throb at Jennie's touch.

Jennie let out heavy breaths and grunts, the tight and sweltering walls slick and throbbing around her swollen cock. A moan followed from her lips and she clenched her jaw with her eyes closing tightly at how good it felt to be fucking the girl that had managed to give her a semi with the way she rolled her eyes in the classroom. Y/n's hands gripped onto Jennie's shirt, her moans falling into Jennie's ears as her legs spasmed with her back arching, chest pressing against Jennie's. Her thrusts got harsher but the pace stayed in the same tempo of a beating heart. Y/n let out a gasp at the pleasurable pain of getting stuffed by the older woman's cock who knew exactly how to position herself to fuck her right. It made her walls clamp down around her with each thrust.

It started to wash over her, it went through every nerve in her body, her veins getting filled with more chemicals as her whole body tingled the closer she got. "Your pussy is amazing, God, I want to fuck you right every single day." Jennie groaned out, her stomach twisting as she couldn't hold herself longer from how good Y/n felt around her. She felt almost disappointed with herself because she wanted to keep fucking the vixen whose cunt was taking away her breath, but her orgasm was coming quickly.

Unable to last as long as she usually did– it didn't seem to matter when Y/n's walls clasped around her and she felt nails dig into her shoulders. The moans were light and whiny, Y/n unable to grasp how good it felt or what exactly she was feeling when it came crashing like a harsh wave over her whole body. Jennie's jaw clasped closed, the sound coming out strained when her hips stuttered this time, the first rope of cum shooting right into her and she buried herself balls deep inside the pussy that was pulsating around her cock that continued to spurt out thick ropes of cum. It only made the vixen feel even more filled at how the warm cum splattered her walls white.

Y/n opened her eyes as more washed over her, this time not an orgasm or pleasure as her heart started to beat harder and faster than after the orgasm. She stared at the roof over them that was blocking the sky. That's when it stopped feeling good as Yn knew the whole time that Asher was waiting for her at home whom she loved and who loved her dearly yet she still proceeded with something that felt good in the moment but left her feeling sick after because of herself.

"Did you cum inside me?" She asked to make sure the woman panting into her neck as she laid on top of her came inside her. At the back of her head, she knew that she did because she could still feel her inside, the thick member growing soft. Her hands gripped her shirt, slowly unable to handle all the emotions that were so much stronger from the drug coursing through her veins. All she could do was feel guilty and regret allowing herself to go as far as this. Y/n knew she had no excuse for it except for the selfishness that washed over her at the moment; lust.

Jennie swallowed and slowly pulled her limp dick out of the girl. She pushed herself up and looked down between them as she first fixed Y/n's underwear and skirt. "Yeah—" She simply replied and sat up, leaning back against the backrest of the couch, swiftly putting her cock back inside her drawers as Y/n pushed herself up to sit while trying to not get eaten by the strong emotions. "I assumed you're on birth control since you have a boyfriend," Jennie added while zipping her pants back up, glancing at Y/n who had her eyes elsewhere. She frowned, waiting for a reply from the girl as she now got worried that she wasn't on any birth control.

"I have an implant," Y/n replied and before Jennie could ask more her head snapped towards the door where they had walked out from that got pushed open with loud laughter and talking. The music became less muffled before the door fell closed and it got muffled once again. Y/n's mind was in a daze, drowning in the strong guilt she felt as the people joined them, unable to talk to them as there was a lump in her throat the whole time.

Jennie hadn't managed to say a word to Y/n except to ask if she was ready to leave when the clock struck close to 3 am. She spent the car ride watching the girl whose pupils slowly went back to normal typing away on her phone. Jennie was unsure of what to say so she didn't say anything. It didn't feel necessary to ask anything since they barely knew each other and had only talked about some common interests and to other people who joined them and then the sex.

She assumed that sex was the problem, but it wasn't her problem since she was satisfied.

Y/n reached for the door handle right away when the car stopped outside her and Asher's apartment complex. However, she got stopped by Jennie who grabbed hold of her wrist because she still had to make sure of one thing that she had been worried about. She knew that she should be more careful. Y/n looked back at the woman.

"Are you sure that you're on birth control? I mean, I could ask my manager to get you plan B's right now if you aren't." Y/n rolled her eyes at the question. She sharply exhaled through her nose and grabbed hold of Jennie's hand and brought it up to her arm, guiding two fingers over the implant and letting Jennie feel that it was there. She dropped the woman's hand and opened the door, without a word more she got out and slammed the door closed after her.

Y/n had made it inside the silent apartment, kicked off her shoes and gone straight to the shower to wash away the filth she felt like she was. She knew that she wouldn't be able to get rid of it though because she couldn't reverse the fact that she had cheated on the guy she had been with for four years. The one who trusted her every time she went out without him. The one whose heart she had in her hands and knew would crush if she told him. Y/n wasn't ready to lose him, she didn't want to. She loved him even if it made her even more selfish. She had already been selfish once and saw no reason to stop.

She had put on her pyjama pants and shirt that she had left in the bathroom earlier and went straight to the couch. Unable to walk the way to the bedroom and lay down beside someone clueless while being aware of what she had done. It didn't feel right to go to the home she had with him after letting in someone uninvited. Vinci lay beside her as she buried her face in his fur and let the tears slowly bleed from her eyes.

She blocked Jennie's number, not because she cheated on her boyfriend with her, but because she had a feeling she would do it again if she saw the woman. Despite the terrible feelings and how horrible it made her—she couldn't deny how good it felt and it made her feel even worse about it all.

[Present]

"But you are labelled the same way he is."

"Why are you so obsessed with him?" Y/n questioned as Jennie couldn't keep it out of her mouth whenever she saw the girl. Jennie knew that Y/n was the type of girl who had a mouth too good for her good in many ways, but one was that she could say things that would get on her nerves. She turned the swivel chair as her hand let go of Y/n's jaw and this time grabbed hold of her neck before a clatter followed when she pushed the chair into the vanity table.

"Watch what you're saying. I'm not obsessed with him, I'm just stating the fact that you are dating someone stupid enough to let his girlfriend walk without being there to make sure no one else is wetting their dick in her."

"That's because he trusts me not to let it happen which I guess you've always had a hard time with...Is that why you run to someone taken instead of finding someone who wants you?" For a second, Y/n could feel the grip tighten on her neck. The woman stared her down as she was towering over her because she was sitting in the chair. Jennie poked at the inside of her cheek. She knew that she had no right to fight with the girl about these things so she didn't do it this time. She also knew that the vixen had a thing for making her angry, it was either because of the sex that came with it or to degrade the person she was cheating with because she felt horrible but couldn't stop even when she tried.

She grabbed Jennie's wrist, the older woman looking into the eyes that turned docile and she loosened her grip on her throat. The two weren't sure when the arguing started as it happened at times but it did some time after they started to see each other. "There's no reason to take it there Y/n when you could instead take my cock and if you want to study you could sit on it and do it. Be a good cock-warmer instead." Jennie suggested as she didn't come over to fight with the girl, but Y/n was petty–towards Jennie that is. All she came for was to stick her dick into the girl and spend time with it there.

Jennie liked meaningless sex.

"How bout I go out, buy a strap, and have you sit on it while I study?" Y/n suggested right back as she tilted her head. The only thing she planned on doing was studying and she only replied to Jennie to have her stop texting, but it backfired as the older woman came knocking on her door instead. Y/n was always occupied with school, work, friends and her boyfriend. She had no time for Jennie aside from the times when Asher had competitions and it was the season for them so it happened more often now. He'd be away for a day, two or more on tournaments and Y/n would try to make it with their friends to some.

Jennie's schedule was more versatile considering she mostly worked from home and got to schedule and reschedule however she liked. People wanted her time, not the other way around with one exception which was Y/n.

"Why are you being an asshole when I am just offering you some quality time together?" Y/n removed Jennie's hand from her neck and the woman stepped back when Y/n got up from the chair. Jennie didn't mind that the girl was taller, it was hot in her opinion. "You must be really into ass stuff if you keep coming back to fuck me then." She grabbed hold of Jennie's shoulders and pushed the woman until the back of her knees hit the bed and Jennie sat down. Her hands found their way to the girl's ass as she held it while looking up at her.

"Not like you are letting me." She muttered as Y/n hadn't even let her take off her top or touch her the way she liked. If Jennie knew, she would have never gotten involved with the vixen because she had been running right back to her despite having the option of many other girls. She couldn't figure out if it was the sex, the pussy, Y/n's skills, or maybe the girl in general even if she at times left the place with more pent-up anger than when she came over.

The vixen wasn't one to fight, she deemed herself to not be toxic until she stumbled upon Jennie. She couldn't tell if it was the guilt and shame she felt from cheating whenever she was with Asher—those feelings that disappeared with Jennie. She had never had any serious or real fights, some bickering and misunderstandings always happened—it changed though. It felt like they were fighting every other day now and Y/n knew that it was all her, that it was her fault. She loved him, she loved him too much to break his heart and hoped that he would do it instead, but she knew that it couldn't go on like this.

Y/n looked down, being able to see the print of Jennie's semi-hard dick through the grey sweats. "Not sure I will either." She replied and pushed Jennie to lay down on her back before coming up to straddle her. The woman let out a huff at the pressure put on her dick which had been growing hard ever since she left her place and started to think about the girl. Y/n's warm and light body planted itself on top of her and she groaned at the feeling that made her body react.

"Shouldn't you be at some big private party fucking other girls?" Y/n asked and Jennie released a shaky breath at how she started to gyrate her hips, grinding down on her growing cock. Jennie was a busy person, she had girls willing to suck her off at every corner and yet she was showing up to Y/n's apartment. It seemed stupid in Y/n's opinion to miss out on those parties and that life, she knew that if she were in Jennie's shoes she wouldn't be missing out on it.

Her eyes stayed on where Y/n was pressed down against her, watching how she as smoothly as waves moved her clothed cunt against her restrained cock. "They're no fun alone...What're you doing tomorrow?" She breathed out.

Y/n smiled and leaned closer, her hips not stopping as she could feel Jennie's erection right against her heat. The older woman's chest heaved and her grip got tighter on Y/n's ass, fondling her cheeks as groping at the siren's body only turned her on even more. To trace each perfect curve, the slim body was easy to hold and bend. "I'm busy tomorrow, my friends are sleeping here and then we are going out on Saturday," Y/n replied, rolling her hips against Jennie's throbbing cock, the friction growing as her hips stuttered into Y/n, dry humping at her. The older woman wanted nothing more than for the girl to take it in either her mouth or snug cunt. She loved both.

"Don't go." It strained, coming from the back of her throat as she suppressed the moan that was close to pushing through from the friction. Her cock leaking with the salty pre-cum and staining as Y/n glanced down to see a small wet spot. It made her continue, Jennie was unable to look away from how smoothly her hips rolled back and forth with ease, there was no stutter or messy humping aside from the way her hips buckled up. It made her grip tighten even more as she held back on the sounds that wanted to escape her lips since the girl hadn't even touched her skin.

"What?"

"I told you not to go. Call and cancel." Jennie let out, between her uneven heavy breaths, her hips bucking into the girl who was whining against the big erection. The woman was a shower in general and the print was always there, but it got very prominent now that she was erect. There was nothing better than Jennie pushing it all right into her and stretching her out, but Y/n's ego got in the way right now.

"Why would I do as you tell me?" Y/n questioned, staring down at the older woman whose vein was popping out at the side of her throat. She reached her one hand to her throat, brushing her fingers over it. The request seemed fairly odd, but it wasn't new that Jennie tried to order her around. Jennie tried to get control she didn't have because she didn't have Y/n to begin with because she was intruding on a home.

"I'm not telling you what to do." Jennie defended and was about to lift herself, her eyes trained on their parts that were pressing against each other, Y/n's ass dragging along her and pressing down harder. The patch of precum on her sweats had grown bigger and the outline was lined up perfectly for the girl. She was ready to either fuck the girl or bust any second which she was not up for since she would find it embarrassing if she came in her underwear. She didn't get to sit up though as the fingers that were tracing her vein grabbed hold of her throat and held her down.

"You did." Y/n knew what she heard and what she did hear sounded much like a demand that Jennie had no position to place.

"I asked," Jennie argued in a quiver, her tone defensive and in a rasp as her dick was throbbing, the friction only continued to grow as Y/n pressed down harder against her. This time a grunt escaped her as she couldn't hold back, Y/n's breath hitching every time she dragged over the mushroom tip and rubbed at her covered clit that was pulsating at how needy she had gotten just from rubbing against her.

"That wasn't asking, that was ordering." Her eyes snapped up at Y/n who wasn't letting it go.

"You must've heard me wrong. I said, "Could you call and cancel?" Y/n chuckled at those words, finding it ridiculous that Jennie was trying to lie. She knew what she had heard her say. The woman always defended her wrongs and never righted them.

"You didn't." Y/n calmly said as she knew that Jennie was losing her cool because her orgasm was approaching and she wasn't getting things the way she wanted them to be. That was her worst nightmare in the end. Y/n wasn't giving in and was putting up a fight when most girls didn't because they didn't have the guts to go against someone who was of higher status. They were there for money, but Y/n wasn't. Y/n matter factly couldn't care less about who Jennie was and her money.

Jennie was a loser in her opinion.

"Then what did I say?" Jennie gritted out and tried to stall Y/n's hips and she let go of her throat, the brunette's fingertips digging into her plump ass.

"Don't go, call and cancel," Y/n repeated and grabbed Jennie's hands, prying them away from her ass. The only time she had some sort of strength or control was when Jennie was at the edge and unable to use her strength right. She pulled them away from herself so the woman under her wouldn't be able to stop her and pinned them down above her head, watching how her chest heaved much quicker.

"It wasn't meant as an order, must've been my tone." Jennie's hooded eyes caught Y/n's, glancing at her plump lips that held a haughty smirk.

"Sure." She said in a whisper, not caring since it wasn't her embarrassment, but Jennie's because she knew what she had heard. Somehow she had learned what ticked Jennie off who was holding back whimpers and whines at the moment. She had her in a moment of weakness because Jennie was about to cum which she wanted to do but not in her underwear.

"Asking you to stay is not a big deal." Y/n hummed at that and Jennie's brows furrowed, lips parting to speak only to close as she shakily inhaled, feeling that knot tightening in her stomach before it would at last snap.

"You're just sensitive. I was trying to have you stay to spend the day or go to a party that will be better than wherever you are going. I was trying to be nice and you twisted it and made me look bad." She only let the woman blabber on desperately as she was going out of her way to explain herself even if Y/n had dropped it. She only hummed once again as she knew that Jennie was going out of her way because she had heard it all right.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum—get off." Jennie groaned and tried to get her hands out of Y/n's grip. It was a weak try because the knot was getting overwhelming after she hadn't had any release for a good week which was when she last saw the girl on top of her. Her breathing grew deeper and harsher as she could feel it throbbing down her cock that hardened even more and her balls tightened. All her strength going on trying to hold back instead of trying to get out of Y/n's hold.

"Isn't that what you wanted though?" Y/n mocked and bit her lower lip, managing to wrap her slender fingers around Jennie's wrists to have her one hand free.

"Not like this." She pushed

"You want to cum inside?" Jennie pathetically nodded before burying her face in her shoulder and biting down on her hoodie to try and hold back. "Too bad you will never get to," Y/n stated as they always had protection. Her hand reached for Jennie's jaw, grasping it and being met by her dark eyes when she pulled her away from her shoulder. She tried to pull away to hide her face as she was starting to get embarrassed and the last thing she wanted was for Y/n to get even more out of it by having her make these sounds she had never made before until the vixen on top of her let her get a taste of her.

"Y/n–" She didn't get to finish when the said girl moved her hips once more, all the way to her throbbing tip. Y/n's grip tightened on her cheeks to make sure that Jennie would let out all of her pathetic little whimpers and whines when she came since she always muffled them. Jennie's head went blank as the sounds flew out of her mouth, whimpering as her hips bucked with each spurt of cum into her underwear that grew warm and sticky. Her back arched and she convulsed, Y/n slowing down and removing some pressure. Jennie whined at how she came in a way that made her whole body numb and more cum leak out when she bucked once again into the girl.

"It's so funny how you try to come off all superior, but then whimper like a little bitch and cum in your underwear like a teenager...Is it some kind of complex?" Y/n continued to mock, watching how Jennie panted for air under her and the vixen lifted herself, glancing down to see a big stain that had formed on the grey material.

"You're a fucking bitch." Jennie gritted out, still out of breath as she struggled her wrists out of Y/n's grip with ease. She grabbed her hips and harshly pushed her off of herself before sitting up. She cringed at the big load she had blown and the stain it caused. It pissed her off as she looked at Y/n with her eyes hard. Never had she let any other girls take it so far or have her humiliated in this way, but it happened all the time with the girl who had her dick under some spell. Over her dead body would anything like this happen, but here she was all alive and it was happening every time with Y/n.

"Not my fault you came as if you haven't had sex in years." Y/n shrugged as she hadn't expected Jennie to release so much from just some simple dry humping.

Jennie grumbled under her breath, making Y/n hum in confusion as she leaned back against her headboard.

"Cause, I haven't had sex in a week, you fucking whore."

"So sweet." Y/n continued and counted the days before she frowned. "Wait– you're telling me the last time you had sex was at the hotel?" This time she questioned as the two had run into each other and Jennie booked a room for the night–Y/n excusing herself and saying she was staying over at Lisa's place when Asher asked. She knew that if he had called Lisa she would've covered for her.

"What about it?" Jennie asked and took out her phone, wallet, and car keys before tossing them onto the side table. The frown did not leave her eyebrows, the mess uncomfortable.

"Nothing, I just assumed since you've been to so many events and stuff during the week that you managed to see someone else." She looked at Y/n, wondering if she truly didn't care whether she saw someone else or not.

Jennie wasn't going to tell her the truth.

"I haven't had time, so I would appreciate it if we could at least go at it once." This time she asked with her nicest voice. Y/n tilted her head as she looked at the mess she created in Jennie's sweats–she would lie if she said that she wasn't wet and her clit wasn't throbbing. It was especially hot after seeing Jennie be the mess she was while also being back to calling her these names and manhandling her.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @xszn @badasgff @badaspookie @hwm1hyun / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 3 months

Text

-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙨-

1.5

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

wc; 18k+ (sorry, it's just this chapter, a lot of smut ig :/)

[Present]

Jennie groaned at the hands that were tugging on her hair as she kissed along the girl's inner thighs, taking in the scent of lotion that was lingering all over the vixen's skin. Her patience was running thin though with the impatient girl who kept whining and telling her to fuck her already. The more dirty words that Y/n spewed the more her cock pulsed with need, but it didn't make her hurry up.

"What're you doing?" Y/n murmured, getting pissed when Jennie pulled away fully from her. Her eyes trailed Jennie who was still in her sweats and shirt, the print of her dick was prominent as she didn't have anything else besides the sweats on. All that Y/n was left in were the soaked-through cheeky underwear. Lying exposed and waiting for Jennie to do what she asked for, each little thing had started to leave her mind, not caring about whose hands her fate was left in. It didn't matter what she did since it wasn't in her own hands.

With her eyes on what she needed, Jennie moved up, getting on top of Y/n and straddling her waist. "Taking full control." She simply answered and Y/n's head tilted back to see Jennie grab hold of the fairy lights. Before she had the time to ask or complain, Jennie yanked them off the headboard, the plug getting ripped out of the output all at the same time as they clattered.

"What the fuck?"

"You're not fooling anyone, they just collect dust."

Y/n was about to push herself up, but the air got knocked out of her when Jennie's palm landed against the clavicle right above her chest. She forced her back down and quickly grabbed hold of her wrists.

"Jennie–"

"Make it easy for me and stop struggling because I am not going to stop, Y/n."

"It will fucking hurt and bruise."

The complaints were for nothing, Jennie wasn't listening to her at all and Y/n was unable to move because the woman was straddling her and putting all her weight on her. She started to wrap them around her wrists after forcing them above her head.

"That's exactly what it's supposed to do, hurt, but you will be too fucked to notice it in a while."

It was making Y/n's heart rate spike up, she could never know what Jennie had on her mind, but that was all part of it. It made everything more enjoyable. The fact that at each turn was either heaven or hell, it didn't matter what it was because she always ended up in the middle after a while. Her eyes looked at Jennie, hissing at the tightness of the string and the lights digging into her skin. The older's eyes focused on tying it around her wrists, only shooting a glance at Y/n.

The woman got off of the tied-up girl after making sure she wouldn't be able to get out of the lights wrapped around her small wrists. She grabbed the rest of the string and moved over to the headboard where the girl had installed anti-shake because of how wobbly it was and the complaints from the neighbour of banging late at night. It had only started when Jennie began showing up more often at her place after Asher would leave for practice and tournaments, trusting Y/n to keep his home a home and not invite others.

"That's unnecessary," Y/n grumbled as her hands were forced to stay above her head, her fingers threaded into the sheets, trying her best to ease the numbing feeling in her fingers as Jennie had made them too tight. She should have known that the woman wouldn't care at all when she asked her to not leave any bruises. Jennie never cared about these things, she always had to do it her way to prove that she was in charge and that Y/n never had any true say in anything. When they parted ways, something was always bruised, either her hips, waist, wrists and at times throat because Jennie didn't seem to control her strength. At times it worked more as a turn-off than anything else because it left her dissociating because of the pain.

"Better than having a needy whore tugging, scratching and pulling on me because she can't go a minute without being stuffed by my cock." Y/n watched as Jennie's tongue poked out at the corner of her lips, toying with it as she looked at the girl she had gotten all tied up. That control it gave her surged right through her each vein before shooting to her cock. It gave her a higher sense of herself. Y/n was all for her to ruin.

No matter what, her gaze always made Y/n feel like prey. She could see by the look in Jennie's eyes what went through her head. How bad it was, and how much worse it was that she still stayed to watch it happen despite knowing what was going to happen. How she would regret it one day and it would be too late to go back to normal because this was her normal now.

Her palm planted beside her head as she sat beside her on the bed. Her eyes trailed into the eyes that always held something different. The way they got so empty at times, it was as if Y/n wasn't even in the same room as her. She loved how broken the girl was, how she had broken her because this wasn't the same person she met almost five months ago. This was the person she had made out of her. This was her broken star that would always shine in her eyes. It was almost close enough to make Jennie feel bad about what she had done to Y/n and her life. Y/n was so empty, she was just like Jennie, and Jennie couldn't help but want a person that was just like her.

"Show me your pretty tongue," Jennie coaxed, her other hand running over the girl's cleavage. The skin was warm, smooth and soft under her palm, she could feel the pounding of her heart when she brushed over the spot where it was resting. That spot where she didn't belong but still made herself comfortable.

Y/n swallowed before opening her mouth and showing off her tongue, the one that Jennie loved having in her mouth or working around her cock. Her hand reached her slim throat and she gently wrapped her hand around it. There was no going back. That had never been an option. Jennie has had her choking grip around Y/n's throat since they met and she was the only one she could rely on to breathe. She couldn't breathe without Jennie, she was the air Y/n needed, and would always die just to breathe.

Jennie leaned forward, her hair falling around them as her thumb caressed Y/n's pulse point, the veins throbbing under her fingers. She could feel them pound harder and faster the closer she got when she let her spit fall on the girl's tongue before she leaned over to her ear. She could feel the girl shiver in the hold that she had on her when her lips brushed her ears.

"Swallow."

It took no more and Y/n swallowed the warm spit Jennie had let fall into her mouth. It was all shooting even more heat to her clit as her bent knees touched and she tried to get some sort of friction at how uncomfortable it was to not have anything done about her arousal.

"I'm so wet for you." She whined.

Jennie was busy kissing along her ear which was making the girl squirm as she hummed into it before tugging with her teeth at the top.

"Do you want me to eat you out? To lick at your pussy until your legs are shaking?"

"Please."

The words were doing unimaginable things to the girl as she couldn't think straight from how overwhelming it was starting to get. Jennie pulled away and looked at the girl whose eyes were turning docile, begging her with just her eyes as she had a small frown. Y/n willingly became the lamb to Jennie's lion, doing everything just to be eaten up until there wasn't anything left of her, not even a single bone as Jennie was always greedy and took everything, leaving nothing for anyone else.

"I will, under one condition."

Her eyes eagerly watched the woman who reached for her wallet, waiting for whatever the condition would be. It made her stomach drop in the worst way possible. Those colourful pills were grey this time. That control she thought she would have when she first started to take these drugs was all gone. She knew she wouldn't deny it. Her brain was already suffering from how she had taken ecstasy a good five times in just two months. She had yet to recover from last month. Y/n had no control and it was eating at her, Jennie maybe had some control, but what truly had her in a chokehold were the drugs.

They controlled her life.

"Grey Maserati, we share one because they are dosed at 300 each."

"It will keep me up."

She tried to reason, but Jennie was already taking out one of the five pills in the small zip-lock bag. Nothing was stopping her, Y/n hadn't said no, but just thrown out a reason. She always threw reasons but had a hard time saying no, especially to Jennie, especially to drugs.

"To around 3 or 4 am since it's already 11, your friends are coming late."

The sound of the pill being broken in half shot to her ears and she looked down as Jennie put the two halves of one pill onto her heaving stomach before she reached for the bottled water on the bedside table. She didn't want it but she couldn't either say no as she watched Jennie take the grey pill into her mouth and wash it down with water. The older woman took the other pill that lay on Y/n's warm stomach and turned fully to the girl.

She couldn't figure out why she couldn't just say no. She wanted to say no, but the urge to say yes was stronger despite knowing the consequences. Her days were already filled with dread, with the doom of one of these days being the last because she couldn't say no. It was hard to say no to something that made her life bearable, to something that made it okay even if it was for five hours before it got worse than it was before she took them.

"Open up, I will make you feel even better, baby. Trust me, it's what you need." She reassured her and Y/n already knew how much better it would all feel. Her mouth opened, and the chemicals spread on her tongue as she waited for Jennie to give her the water too. Jennie loved it when they were both drowning in substances, it made everything so much easier in her life and she knew it was the same for the girl. It worked, it made everything work and feel better. The water spilled from the corners of her lips, the cold running down to the sheets and she swallowed with no turning back.

It felt hopeless in her world. It truly felt like there was no turning back no matter how much she would cry for the past to not take the turns it did. What she could do was try to cry for a better future, but it overwhelmed her. So the only option left was to live in the present and possibly not have a future.

She put the stuff back onto the bedside table and took the girl's hair tie, putting her hair up. Jennie wasted no more time as she got back to where she had been from the start, her hands running over Y/n's knees and making the girl spread her legs for her. It would kick in within a good 15 to 30 minutes and the arousal they both felt at the moment would increase and everything would feel much better.

The pain would be gone.

The agony, and despair.

The dread of tomorrow and the doom followed by what happened before what's to come.

It would all go away.

She was fixing her broken star, she was taking all the pain away by placing herself between her legs after removing her underwear, taking the pain away with the drugs, sex, and alcohol.

Jennie was fixing her selfishly, she was fixing Y/n for when she was there. Jennie was making sure that the girl would only be fixed when she was there, to live in the delusion that she would only feel good when Jennie was there. That when she wasn't there her life was painful and empty and that only Jennie filled those painful voids. It always worked because she would feel even worse tomorrow and Jennie wouldn't be there and the pain would be associated with her loneliness and not Jennie.

The two were addicted to it all.

Whatever mindless sex it was, it turned into a game.

Jennie held back the groan that wanted to push past her throat when her hard dick pressed against the mattress as she laid down on her stomach. She licked her lips, unable to control the way her hips bucked at the view of the pink and wet pussy in front of her, glistening with slickness.

Y/n closed her eyes, fingers gripping onto the sheets as she drowned in Jennie's lips softly kissing along her inner thighs. Her one leg was guided over Jennie's shoulder as she wrapped her arm around the other. Lips gently dragged along her skin, leaving them quivering in anticipation, teeth nipping and dragging over her. It was all there, slowly bringing her to the best place in her dark world. A small gasp followed at the slick tongue that licked up her folds, the firm and warm muscle dragging over her cunt.

Jennie drowned in the taste of the girl, something she had grown addicted to as she could eat her out for hours. She hummed and dipped her head once again, the tip of her tongue teasing around the clenching and leaking hole before she licked back up, gathering the wetness around the swollen clit she circled. It elicited a light moan from the girl who arched her back and tried to push her hips further into Jennie's face–to no avail.

She trailed her hand over the slim stomach that got sucked in at the touch, running back and caressing her thigh. Her tongue still working through her folds, teasing her clit. Lost all again. Jennie's lips wrapped around one of the lips, sucking on it gently–it was all making Y/n let out sighs, whines, whimpers, and moans. She was sensitive to Jennie's touch, so sensitive to it, that it always made her vocal, sounding like she was in bliss which she was. Her mouth continued to work languidly through the girl's aching cunt. The slickness slowly becoming a mess around her mouth and she loved every second of it.

"Jen, please."

"Tell me what you need, baby."

She mumbled, her lips brushing over the girl's skin and she looked up from between her legs. Y/n's chest heaved, her stomach sucked in and she lay at the perfect arch with her eyes on the ceiling. She planted kisses along her inner thighs, waiting for the response while nuzzling into the warm skin that was scented like flowers.

"I need you."

"Do you?" Jennie asked to make sure that she was all that Y/n needed.

Y/n hummed at those words, something between a whine and hum as she closed her eyes in anticipation, tugging on the restraints on her wrists. Jennie could feel her body tense up at the anticipation as she pulled into her.

It was all that Jennie wanted and needed to hear as she went right back, her tongue slowly dragging up once again, the thighs tensing around her. A breathy moan fell from Y/n's plump lips when Jennie wrapped her lips around her clit. Her tongue flicked at the bundle of sensitive nerves, her tongue skillfully working the girl whose breathing picked up in seconds. It wasn't hard to know what the girl liked, Jennie had taken her time to take notice of every reaction and knew what made her scream. She had learned the way Y/n's body functioned.

The vixen hummed, her back arching as she pushed herself more into Jennie's face, the way the warm and smooth tongue continued to flick at her clit in just the right direction was making her stomach tingle. Her wrists twisted, unable to open her eyes as she was buried deep in the pleasure. Jennie's messy eating of her cunt filled her ears as the woman between her legs was moaning herself. Her tongue lapped up the slickness, smearing it and flicking at her swollen clit like it was what would save her life.

"So good, it feels so good– your tongue is so fucking good."

Her hips stuttered, unsure of what to do as she was losing control of her body, Jennie harshly suckled, her face buried deep between Y/n's legs, trying to get impossibly closer. A whimper followed and Jennie pulled away, her nose rubbing against the swollen clit as her tongue worked to get more juices to get them up. It smeared on her chin, her tongue not stopping for a second as she came back up and pressed her tongue against the throbbing clit. Her hands gripped tightly onto Y/n's thighs, squeezing the flesh in them and pulling her harshly back down as her hips were lifting, fingertips digging into the girl's skin as Jennie got just as lost in it.

"I love your mouth."

"You taste so good, I want to live between your thighs," Jennie grumbled in between the strokes of her tongue, her lips coming right back and tightly wrapping around the bud. She tugged on it gently before flicking at it as fast as she could before slowing down. The thighs around her head were quivering more and more, each moan becoming louder and more beautiful than the other. Jennie's cock was throbbing as her body started to get warmer and her hips gently moved, slowly humping the mattress as she couldn't contain herself when eating Y/n's cunt out and listening to the sounds.

Her movements increased, Y/n's body running hot at the warmth of Jennie against her. Her body being held down by the woman as she was slowly losing control. It didn't matter where it was but Jennie always held her down. Y/n's breath hitched, and her eyes closed as the heat became stronger at how Jennie was fucking her using her mouth. It burned, it burned but in the best way possible as the cries were starting to fly out of her mouth unable to hold back.

"Oh my God, fuck–" Y/n's breath fell short, her body convulsing as the orgasm crept up on her. Her thighs shook around Jennie, her back arching, the woman making sure to hold her down as she looked up through her lashes at the dark-haired vixen who was assaulted by the intense orgasm. She pulled onto the restraints, her hands closing into fists as her vision flashed with white, her ears ringing, and any control of her voice was lost as the train of high-pitched moans came out from her parted lips together with Jennie's name.

She heaved, panting for air after not taking in any oxygen for what felt like a good minute but was a few long seconds. Her body didn't get to relax as Jennie wanted to hear her moan her name like that again and continued to abuse her clit with her tongue. Y/n's walls were pulsating, tears gathering in her eyes and spilling from the corners as she tried to find the words to tell her to stop as it was painfully and pleasurably coming right back before she could fully come down.

Her clit was in pain, her walls going through painful aftershocks and Jennie continued to flick at her. Her brain was unable to choose what to feel as her body felt overwhelmed, heating, heart pounding like bricks being dropped on her ribcage. Y/n tried to pull her hips away but she had nowhere to go as Jennie was holding onto her tightly. The whimpers that left Y/n's mouth drove her further, her heat pressing against the mattress while throwing Y/n off an edge she had no clue would come. This time Jennie's name left her in a cry of that line between heaven and hell, it wasn't as intense, but it was painful.

Jennie slowly stopped moving her tongue and kissed her abused bud, it was enough to make Y/n jolt and hum a whine. She moved down, licking up whatever she could as Y/n panted under her, feeling the legs continuously tensing up and relaxing.

"Too much," Y/n tiredly mumbled and the brunette finally pulled away, unable to do more than to use her words as she was held back in all ways. She was powerless and at Jennie's mercy.

Jennie groaned at how uncomfortably erect she was as she had been so for a good 30 minutes now. She had started to grow hard when Y/n had gotten back to the room. Her hand grabbed hold of her thick cock through the sweats, gently caressing it as she used the collar of her shirt and lifted it to wipe her chin and mouth from whatever was left glistening on her.

She finally opened her eyes and looked at Jennie who was already looking at her, Y/n's pupils were already blown and covering all of the grey, leaving them pitch black. It was like looking at someone in a trance, her eyes were drawing Jennie in. Jennie loved everything dead and messed up, especially if she got to further play with it.

Y/n pulled her legs further up and closed them to try and ease the aftershocks as her stomach was cramping. "It hurts." She complained and Jennie looked over the naked body in front of her before she looked at Y/n's flushed face. Her own body was already warm and she reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it off, knowing that the E had managed to kick in just a good minute or two ago for her.

"Everything good comes with something bad," she mumbled and those words drilled themselves into their heads.

"Do you need anything?" Jennie asked as she got off the bed, tossing the shirt onto the chair and walking over to the window. She cracked it open slightly to let in fresh and cool air.

That soft cloud engulfed her body and she felt those feelings she always buried deep and suppressed in herself. The one she would force behind a door whose room was filled to the brim, everything desperately trying to push out but she desperately held it all back. Jennie wasn't supposed to feel, she had learned to be numb and wanted nothing more than to continue it. Although, the problem was that certain things had started to bring her warmth and she had started to long for it every time it went away because somehow she grew fond. Of Y/n.

That cloud of ecstasy formed around her body, hugging her until her body was clammy and each strand of her was standing and taking everything with so much intensity. It coaxed everything out of her and her eyes drifted away from the reflection of herself that she caught in the window where the dark city was illuminated by lights. She swallowed the lump.

"Remove them, it's hurting,"

"I can loosen them, but they are staying."

Y/n frowned, feeling her body drown into the mattress that was caressing her like feathers. The only thing ruining it was the restraints around her wrists. Jennie walked over to the bed and sat down beside her.

"Why not?"

"'Cause I said so," Jennie answered, her fingers running along Y/n's arms until she reached the lights wrapped around her wrists. She pushed her fingers under them and tugged, slowly loosening them around her and Y/n could feel the blood somewhat flowing back.

"Pretty, star." She whispered and leaned down, catching Y/n's soft lips with hers, melting into each other with sighs falling from their lips as their tongues met. It was so soft, it felt like heaven all over again, it felt good and Jennie opened her mouth further, swallowing Y/n whole who moaned into the kiss. She ran a hand over Y/n's body, exploring the skin that was like silk until she reached her chest and cupped a breast in her hand. Her fingers tugged at the pierced nipples, Y/n moaning and pushing her chest further into her as Jennie toyed around with her chest and nipples.

Their heads tilted, taking each other further in, Y/n sucking on Jennie's tongue, making the older groan and squeeze her breast in her hand. Y/n's whimpers were muffled by the way Jennie was pushing inside her mouth, the two unable to get enough of the softness and wetness that felt too good to be true. Jennie's fingers nimbly worked on Y/n's nipples, tugging on them, pinching and toying around.

She pulled away and looked Y/n in her eyes that were like diamonds, worth more, they were unobtainable stars and held all the life and emotions to them now. It would then all wash away and leave them lifeless again. She loved watching it happen, she was always there.

Jennie pulled away fully, her heart picking up once again into an unsteady rhythm and she grabbed the water, unscrewing it and taking a few sips as Y/n squirmed beside her. She then proceeded to slowly pour some into the younger one's mouth before placing it right back and standing up.

She couldn't wait much longer as she stripped out of the sweats she had on. Her bright red tip was leaking with precum, Y/n's eyes trained on the thick and long cock that always stretched her out in a painful way unless Jennie was nice enough to stretch her out beforehand with her fingers...It didn't seem to be the case as the brunette let her hair back down and got on the bed.

Y/n tried to twist and looked at the bedside table. "Jennie, the condom." She reminded her that she didn't have any protection.

"We don't need it."

Y/n closed her knees together and Jennie grabbed hold of them.

"We do."

"No, we don't and you know it. Whatever you're trying to do isn't going to help your dignity, baby." Jennie forced her knees apart and held her legs spread as Y/n tried to push her away. The struggle was minimal and the girl slowly got on top of her by forcing her to hold them open, now leaving her completely unable to even try and close her legs.

"Please, Jennie." Y/n pleaded, inhaling deeply as it left her in an even bigger conflict. What was happening was horrible enough, but all she wanted was to save a piece of her dignity and not let them get to a part that's that intimate, something she only let her boyfriend do. She exhaled with her eyes on the ceiling, unable to think clearly as the warm emotions were too strong, that forbidden thing winning over her each time.

"I can pull out."

"No."

Jennie ignored the girl as she kissed along her neck, her cock resting heavily against her cunt as she slowly moved her hips, her scalding dick getting covered in the slick. Her eyes closed as the pleasure felt too good to be allowed for a human to feel. Despite bringing out all those suppressed emotions, it cured her of everything and let her feel happy, it removed the pain. That serotonin and oxytocin was spreading through her whole body from top to bottom. She sighed and stopped, resting her face in the crook of Y/n's neck as she took calming breaths.

"It will be fine and feel better, you want me to fuck you don't you?"

"I do, but not without a condom."

"You don't trust me, do you?" She whispered into her neck, sighing again as her weight completely settled on Y/n and she snuggled closer. Gently wrapping her lips around Y/n's warm skin, sucking it before letting go and licking. "Do you trust me, Y/n?" She questioned, the question was genuine and not just about this as their bodies grew warmer together. A hot puff of breath fanned Y/n's neck who was going through a battle that was lost before it even got to start–all those no's she's always said, they were impossible to say when all those things got freed. She always caved into Jennie because the woman broke down every barrier she tried to put up.

"I do, but this has nothing to do with trust." She didn't know when Jennie forced her walls down, but she trusted the woman, but she had no clue if that was the right choice. She trusted her with certain things. She trusted Jennie with her dignity, her biggest secret, with her body, and she trusted her with her shame and self-hatred even if Jennie trampled all over her at times. The behaviour got excused in Y/n's head because the woman took her for the person that she is so the least she could do was take Jennie as she is.

"Let me, I want to feel you raw without anything in the way."

She started to pepper kisses along her skin, pushing herself up on her forearms. Jennie pulled away and looked up at the girl. Y/n's heart was picking up once again as she looked into Jennie's eyes that were gazing into hers with what she only got to see when the woman was fucked up on drugs. That was the only time she could see something in her eyes aside from all those negative emotions. There was something genuine in them, but she couldn't tell what exactly it was and she couldn't tell if she wanted to know either. It scared her, Jennie scared her when it came to certain things.

Jennie was scared of whatever that was.

Y/n's back arched, a gasp falling from her lips as she pulled onto the restraints, thighs tensing up around Jennie when the painful stretch came. Jennie removed her hand from between them as she had pushed her tip inside, her whole body shuddering at the feeling and she let out a muffled whine. It made her catch Y/n's parted lips, shoving her tongue into her mouth.

Her breaths turned ragged as she did her best to slowly fill the girl up and give her time to adjust this time. Y/n's walls were warm and slick, throbbing around her, greedily sucking her in. The cock slowly split her open and pushed further. Jennie's mouth trailed off, kissing along her cheek and jawline, pulling out before pushing in once again, doing her best to not ram her whole cock inside the tight walls right away. The vixen's sopping pussy snugly gripped onto her dick, clasping around her and clenching.

Y/n's chest heaved, picking up as she fell to the deepest pits of pleasure and pain. Jennie's warmth right on top of her and inside her, feeling her deeper and deeper with each slow thrust. The girl was able to feel each detail, the moment driving her further into despair of what would be after. However, it clouded her mind the way Jennie was moving her hips in fluid motions, inching deeper and deeper with each thrust and being able to feel the throbbing of her vein and the way her tip was curved and rubbed perfectly against her g-spot.

"You're taking me so well, like a good girl, no matter how many times I fuck your tight little pussy you're still so tight, baby." She mumbled, her head dropping into the crook of Y/n's neck when she filled her to the brim. She hummed at the feeling of nothing being between them, having her leaking member stuffed in Y/n's pussy, feeling everything so much better.

"Jennie–" Y/n whined and the latter moved her head up, slowly rolling her hips. She fell short of breath at the feeling of Jennie's dick raw in her cunt. Able to feel every little texture of her cock, from the vein to the pulsating of her tip, how it dragged against her walls and she tugged onto the restraints, whining. Jennie was so deep that it hurt in a way she was used to and found pleasure in now, touching those sensitive spots deep within her and fucking until her stomach hurt. Jennie knew how to make her feel many things.

"What is it, baby?"

"Take them off, please, I want to hold you, please."

By the way Y/n's breathing picked up she could tell that she was losing her patience and the frustrations were flooding in. She clenched her jaw as she reached her hand up, still rolling her hips against the girls, each thrust deep and hard. With some struggling, they loosened and Y/n managed to slip her wrists out. What Jennie thought would be the girl pushing her away was Y/n wrapping her arms under her arms with nails digging into her back.

"It feels so good, fuck your cock feels so good, Jennie...I love it, I love how you fuck me."

It was enough to shoot it all to the woman's cock, making it twitch with some of the words. Jennie's jaw clasped and she balled up the sheets in her fists. Another gasp escaped Y/n's mouth when the thrusts turned rough, Jennie wanted nothing more than to ruin the girl as she slammed her cock inside her, pistoning in and out of her squelching pussy. It felt like she had gotten enough adjusting. The vixen's moans were fueling the frenzy that she had fallen into, breath ragged and the bed and Y/n squeaked with each harsh thrust.

Those low and carnal-like guttural moans and groans came right from between Jennie's lips. "Tell me how good it feels, fucking tell me, Y/n. Say it all because I fucking own you and your pussy. Only I can make you feel these things." Her harsh words were spoken by the whimpering girl's ear, Jennie getting lost between the pain of nails painting her skin red and soft, velvety walls clenching around her, suffocating her cock in the best kind of way. There was no other place she would rather be, no other person to be with, no other girl to fuck.

"It hurts, but it hurts so good,"

Her pelvic bone slapped against Y/n's skin and she reached her hand down, grabbing hold of her thigh and making her wrap it around her waist. She fucked deeper into her, fucking deep enough to let Y/n feel her where she never thought she would feel anyone. Her lips found her neck, not caring what the girl wanted as she sucked on the damp skin, licking and biting. The younger girl was unable to register any of it as she was being nailed to the mattress, her teeth digging into Jennie's shoulder at how it was all coming over her.

The bed found itself squeaking more for mercy, Y/n whining at how her whole body moved with each thrust. It hurt, but the incoming orgasm was washing it away and her brain had a hard time registering what to focus on. Jennie's thick length was spreading her, each thrust only making the mess bigger, leaving the vixen's thighs to tremble and hips to push into the older for more. It was too much yet too difficult to push her away when she felt Jennie's tip hit deep within her, the wet slapping got louder and hurt as it left them both sore.

Jennie's moans turned more breathy the longer she pounded into Y/n, trying her best to keep herself from busting already. The exhaustion was taken in rather quickly yet she continued to push to make the feeling last longer.

Her whole body tensed up with each thrust, twisting the sheets in her hands with veins bulging as she pulled away to look at Y/n. The girl's face was twisted into something that made Jennie groan at how her head was thrown back, chest pushing into her as it moved with each thrust. Lips parted, spilling those erotic moans that drove Jennie more carnal, sweat covering them both. Y/n could feel the muscles flex under her palms with each of Jennie's movements, nails only further digging into the woman's back for grip.

"I'm so close–" Y/n breathed out, the rest of the words getting stuck in her throat as she couldn't control the moans. The lewd sounds of their conjoined heat, moaning, and skin slapping were all bouncing off the walls.

"Can you feel how my cock stretches you? Feel how deep inside you I am baby, I could fucking knock you up right away, have you take all my cum, my babies, make you a mommy the way you call me daddy, hm? "Jennie grabbed hold of Y/n's forearm, pulling away the hand from her back that was stinging as the sweat that covered her body got in the fresh scratch marks. She grabbed hold of the top of her hand and guided it between their bodies as she looked up at the girl whose eyes were hooded, barely kept open.

"Fuck." Y/n exclaimed at the pressure Jennie put on her lower stomach using her hand as she held hers above Y/n's, the cock deep in her hitting her g-spot much better when she pressed down. Each deep thrust into her she could feel her stomach bulge out because of the deep penetration that Jennie provided with her length. Y/n was slowly at the edge and ready to fall off and Jennie could tell that she was right there from how the moans turned into whiny almost cries.

The girl's body convulsed and Jennie looked down at her as she threw her head back, her back arching and she could feel how much her pussy was thudding around her cock. The tight cunt clasped even tighter around her as Y/n cried out a moan, making Jennie groan into the air. Nails dug even deeper into her back and both her thighs shook around the woman.

She let go of Y/n's hand and reached further down, finding the swollen clit with ease and quickly rubbed circles to give her a better orgasm. The moans turned to whiny ones, sounding so light and erotic that Jennie's balls tightened and her erect member hardened more, ready to spill all of her cum.

Y/n's ears were muffled, and her vision went white as she got lost with no control over her body once again. The warmth was so strong that it felt like her body would melt from how good it felt, being ten times more intense than the other two. Her body was flying from the euphoria. Jennie flexed her stomach, ignoring the banging coming from the neighbour as she could only focus on the girl who was making her heart pick up at how close she was, with her breathing becoming harsh and deep.

As the moans died down she slowed down her pace and only stopped fully once Y/n was whimpering in discomfort under her. She did her best and pulled out right on time as she sat back on her heels. Her lips parted as her moans fell soundless, one stroke and her dick spurted cum all over the pink and sticky pussy where her eyes were trained with her hips stuttering into her hand. Jennie's whole body heaved with each breath, covered in a sheen of sweat, leaving her clammy and exhausted.

"Oh fuck–" This time a whimper fell from her lips, shooting more cum than she expected, her dick throbbing in her hand until the only thing happening was the cum that was left was oozing out of her tip.

Jennie slumped back, her dick growing limp, trying her best to figure out what she was feeling as the emotions felt almost foreign and they always did with the vixen–making her feel things she never did with anyone else.

The only sounds were their heavy breaths, the one more thud from the other side of the wall and something along the lines of 'shut the fuck up' before it was just them. She took Y/n's hand and helped her up when the girl started to push herself up. Wordlessly she grabbed the girl's shirt that was still on the bed and quickly wiped off her cum from her before throwing the shirt to the side.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me."

Jennie mumbled as she sat back and pulled Y/n to her, pulling her legs over her own as hers were spread out. She let go of her thighs and reached out to cup her face, her thumb caressing her skin as she pulled her in. "You're beautiful," the woman whispered and kissed her lips. Y/n's hands found their way to Jennie's neck, palms running over her skin that was scorching under her palms. The two took in the feeling that was like brushing feathers gently over their bodies as they without any particular lust soothed each other's bodies and lips.

That rough world, the lust, and those carnal desires disappeared and all that was left was the longing for something deeper. Something that could soothe the pain that lingered on their sore bodies. It was enough to forgive and forget without any words, not caring about any mistakes when they came with this after. It soothed, it got rid of the loneliness they both shared, that emptiness deep within them that they filled with this and hatred.

They pulled away, and Jennie ran her thumb over Y/n's eyebrow, trailing her thumb over her nose, their faces still mere inches away. They gazed into each other's euphoric eyes, stars sparkling, eyes black as massive black holes, sucking each other in. Her thumb ran down further to her plump and pink lips that felt like pillows. Jennie let go of her face and grabbed hold of the hands on the sides of her neck.

"I just want to hold you." She mumbled as there was no stronger desire in her than holding the girl close to her for hours on end. To hold her and keep her right beside herself. She wanted nothing more than to be affectionate with the girl and not just fuck her. Sex wasn't on her mind anymore as she gently kissed the red wrists, soothing them as she gently rubbed them with her thumbs. That desire to make her feel safe because Jennie knew that even if she hurt her, she could make her feel safe, she could make her feel warmth and content. That was all she wanted to do for Y/n even if it was for the night. To make up for the cold ones she wasn't there.

Y/n watched, basking in the feeling as the affection felt overwhelmingly good, not wanting more than for Jennie to leave soft kisses all over her body and hug her. Nothing felt better than when she was high with Jennie. When she was with Jennie in general. Because even if she made her feel the best but also the worst type of things; made her cry, break down and want to die as that felt like the only way out, at least she made her feel. She made her feel that high before it all came crashing down and she couldn't leave it alone because, despite all the bad, only Jennie could bring her back up to that euphoric high without any drugs.

The older left those kisses that she wanted, kissing her wrists softly, in a way no one else ever had even if they needed or didn't need to be soothed. It warmed her from the inside out.

Jennie had all the control because Y/n was addicted to the highs she brought her before she took them away. It left her waiting, anticipating for the woman to give her them again, each time coming to a high before then crashing back down and going through an unbearable comedown. The loneliest she felt was when she was coming down, that was when she needed Jennie the most. It was worse than drugs. Whatever Jennie did and gave her felt better than drugs but tore her apart in the long run much worse than any substance. The vixen couldn't stop chasing after the rush the brunette was able to provide though.

It was an intensity that they both always craved, too far gone in the toxicity of each other to part ways. It had burned their skin and damaged it too much to be able to go back to normal if the scars were to stay forever. It had left them both so ugly together. The longer they stayed the more lost they got and the worse it became and they knew it. They knew how bad it was as they brought out the worst in each other. However, whenever they looked at it; at the ugly in one another, they both just found it more beautiful and addicting every time.

Their flaws felt flawless.

It was a rush that they were addicted to. The constant feelings of being on the edge before falling off and then climbing back up to the edge and waiting for the fall to come again even if it was painful. It was a game of bringing each other up before bringing each other down again.

Y/n hated Jennie because of the control that she had and only let Y/n touch the control now and then. It left the vixen deluded into thinking that she had some sort of control when most of the time it was Jennie.

[Three weeks ago]

"It was so weird," Lisa mumbled and Y/n hummed confused at those words as she handed the lit joint over to her friend. She blinked her eyes off the dryness and reached for the iced tea on the coffee table.

"What was?" The vixen knew that Lisa always had something weird on her mind after smoking, but she couldn't know what it would be this time. She had come over an hour ago and not empty-handed. At this point, if the girl tried to stay away from pills and powders, weed seemed to get her mind off of those things, but barely as she still found herself craving for it more than for food when starving. It felt like she would die if she didn't get a dose. It was itching.

Y/n glanced at her phone when it went off, seeing that it was Ash saying he had arrived–visiting his mother for the weekend. She'd reply later. Y/n's excuse was not feeling good and deciding it would be better to stay. The real excuse would be that she would feel ashamed to see his parents in the state that she was in, she would feel ashamed if she was high around them. Even more ashamed to look them in the eye all while knowing that she was cheating on their son.

At least they had talked it all out after the Summerfest ended and she still felt the relief of knowing that he didn't break up with her but still loved her. That they would fix what wasn't working out and it was all back to normal. They were, but not Y/n.

She felt stuck in a place of hopelessness, and dread, and without the will to live anymore.

"You were weird– you're just being weird in general. Are you okay?"

It made Y/n chuckle as she put her drink back down, but her body language said it all as she pulled her feet up on the couch and her knees to her chest. She closed herself off visibly as Lisa's eyes gazed over her with her eyelids a bit swollen. In the end, she managed to catch Y/n's bloodshot ones. The girl still smiled, there was so much in that smile, not behind it, it was all in the smile as it was a smile that showed how at peace she was with her life crumbling, how she would smile through it and not do anything about it.

"What do you mean are you okay?" Yet she wouldn't admit that she was in agonising pain and that only Jennie fixed her for a few hours before she was left sobbing in the shower. Her tears were like tears in the rain to everyone because she wouldn't cry in front of them anymore. She was too scared to show that she was weak, she couldn't do it anymore, especially not after seeing what someone could do with her weakness. What Jennie did with it.

"It was maybe weirdly formulated–" Lisa started and Y/n agreed as she nodded, taking the joint that got handed to her. This time she took a bigger drag, letting the gasoline taste fill her lungs to the brim before letting out a cloud into the air that was dim from the smoke that wasn't making it out. "What I mean is...You and Ash seem off, were at least, the whole deal with staying at another hotel room." If it was anyone else Y/n would have snapped, this wasn't Lisa's relationship, but Lisa was her best friend and she listened to her. She let her point these things out because she knew that Lisa cared as her best friend.

Yet this type of care wasn't enough anymore because she couldn't feel the content of someone caring about her. It was void.

"That's that, but you're just down and don't lie because I know that you have been lying for a while now."

"Everyone is down now and then...Me and Ash have worked it all out now." She shrugged out and took another hit from the joint before reaching over to the ashtray to ash it. She sat back and Lisa heaved a sigh in the smoke-filled living room. Her best friend moved along the couch, crawling over to the girl before sitting face-to-face with Y/n. "You've been down for longer than usual, I'm just worried and want you to know that we can talk. We're always here for each other, babe." Lisa pressed and Y/n groaned, throwing her head back against the backrest.

She stared at the ceiling, blinking away the tears in her red eyes, swallowing the sticky lump, and reached the joint to her lips, taking another hit before passing it to Lisa who had her elbow resting against the backrest with her head propped up on her palm.

"I know and you too should know that I would talk to you if it was really necessary, but I am handling it. Just a lot going on with school, work, and a relationship." It was all lies, the handling part because she was coping with it all using drugs and meaningless sex with a woman she was cheating with on her boyfriend. She was handling it by ruining herself even more than she already had. That self-destruction had always worked until it no longer did. It was just a step away from it being her last.

"I feel like I am losing my mind here." Y/n pushed herself up at that and took the joint away from Lisa as they had smoked quite a bit by now. "You're greening out." She seriously said, taking the joint for herself as she didn't need a paranoid Lisa under her care once again.

"Since when is your tolerance so high–" She grumbled and reached over for the bottle of iced tea before leaning back and resting her head on Y/n's shoulder. The TV was playing in the background, but they had been so lost in each other that they hadn't been able to catch the noise from it. Y/n knew her tolerance had rocketed after nearly smoking every day now. The same went with everything else as her nose had gone runny and red, if not bleeding at times.

"Would you suck dick for a career?" Y/n giggled at the question while leaning her head against Lisa's with the joint still burning. Her other hand played around with the bic that she used to even it out.

"No? I don't know."

"I would."

"For real?" Lisa hummed at that. "I know how it sounds, but it's one blowjob for whatever career you want and then you live your life...It's like making a wish except–"

"The genie is in a dick you have to rub instead of bottle." The words that came out of Y/n's mouth made the already giggly Lisa fall into a fit of laughter. Y/n rolled her eyes and this time she reached for her phone in an instant when it buzzed, seeing that it was a message that was private and only one person's messages were on her phone.

It was stupid, but it was a long and boring Sunday and Asher had left in the morning to take the flight to San Francisco. She had texted the woman a few hours ago, but without a reply back and she called Lisa knowing the girl had no work today. The vixen had forgotten the message she sent about two hours ago and hadn't said anything else.

3:22 P.M. im all alone

5:30 P.M. Comin over, just landed Be there in ten

Y/n looked at her best friend who had calmed down and was high as a kite. She'd feel bad if she were to throw her out without a reason, but she hadn't seen Jennie in two weeks. The last time they had been together was on Y/n's last day of the Summerfest and Jennie had flown out to Vegas after for something. She tried to get the girl to come with her but the idea was ridiculous for so many reasons. The biggest wasn't even what she would say to everyone, but travelling and spending even more time with Jennie.

She couldn't deny that she enjoyed the life Jennie brought to her.

She couldn't either deny that besides herself still crumbling with each passing day, her relationship with Asher looked much better after not seeing Jennie.

It did come with constant texts from Jennie–Y/n had assumed she wouldn't even think about her since she tended to not think too much about Jennie. Every time she thought she had forgotten her, the brunette came right back to remind her of who she was. Of what place she now held in her life, the control she seemed to have even when she wasn't there.

Jennie was demanding; Y/n was somehow still obeying, being a willing victim of Jennie, of her power and control.

Despite the pain and regret, Y/n couldn't stop, they had become her best friends.

Lisa was long gone after an excuse of being called in for a replacement shift at work.

The pain and regret went away with Jennie though, the feline replaced them as she had everything she needed. She was able to replace her best friends, pain and regret.

They had barely managed to start a conversation before Y/n was on her knees as Jennie sat on the couch with the girl between her legs. She released a deep sigh, relaxing on the couch at the mouth working her length. It was hard to say how good it felt to have her dick in Y/n's mouth, the way she would suck on her tip, swirl her tongue, and take her into her throat. The teasing of her tongue, the build-up and the release that made her toes curl and her body convulse, each time losing her vision. Her hand playing with her heavy balls, if not taking them into her mouth. Jennie hadn't gotten to experience such care before and she had realised that she had been looking for love in the wrong places.

Whatever love even was, it held different meanings for everyone.

Pleasure was what she loved.

Y/n only glanced up at the woman who was busy making white lines on her phone using a black card. It was hard not to notice the bruises on her knuckles, the scratches and marks on her neck. It made Y/n work twice as hard. She closed her eyes, stroking down Jennie's cock before moving down and engulfing more in her mouth. Her tongue was flat against the underside and she trailed the pulsating vein as she hollowed her cheeks, moving back up with such suction that Jennie groaned, thighs trembling.

"Fuck–" She breathed out, looking down at the girl whose hair was falling in front of her face as she slurp and sucked around the throbbing hard cock. "I've missed you–this, I've missed this." Y/n hummed and pulled away fully to get a proper breath. Jennie stopped herself from looking back at the coke on her phone and watched the girl guide her mushroom tip over her plump, pillow-like lips that were pink and perfectly wrapped around her every time.

"Say that to every girl back home?"

"What?" Jennie breathed out as Y/n only shrugged and opened her mouth, looking up at Jennie through her lashes. It made her lightheaded as she watched her stick her tongue out and slap the swollen and pinkish tip against her tongue. Y/n wrapped her lips around it, pressing her tongue against the slit, caressing it and pulling back out, looking Jennie right in the eye. The woman always went into overdrive, speechless when she got to see Y/n on her knees with her cock in her mouth. Watching the girl slap it against her tongue again.

She dipped her head, taking Jennie back into her mouth, this time her other hand let go of the woman's thigh and reached inside her boxers. Jennie's chest was heaving, each breath becoming deeper and heavier as she did her best and took the rolled-up bill while Y/n played with her hard balls in one hand, her mouth wrapped around the tip.

She swirled her tip, looking up as she watched Jennie snort up a line. Her thighs clenched, she found the older woman hot in so many ways, but one thing she truly loved was the dominance she portrayed. The way Jennie was rough, but tender between the lines, there was something different about her touch. The way it all felt like kisses deep within her soul even if they bruised and hurt. Jennie cared.

Her hand worked along Jennie's length, this time a hand coming into her hair, fingers pressing into her scalp as Jennie groaned. "Come on, use your throat for me, baby." She encouraged, knowing that Y/n could do more.

The vixen hummed, slowly working her mouth down before coming back up. She could feel Jennie's eyes on her, the tip was throbbing on her tongue. It wasn't an easy task to get Jennie's whole length down her throat, but she still made it look effortless. It elicited a pathetic whimper from Jennie when Y/n loosened her throat muscles, moaning as she in one smooth motion engulfed the six inches deep in her throat. The feline's thighs trembled, her hand gripping for her life in the hair at the way Y/n's throat had her tip in a chokehold without gagging the slightest.

"Oh fuck," she could only breathe out when Y/n released her cock from the tight grip of her throat. It fueled Y/n on, wanting to be good for Jennie. It didn't end there as she repeated the motion without taking a breather, it made her eyes water the slightest. Jennie's hips buckled up as her feet planted hard against the floor, her hand moving through the dark locks, using both hands to do a makeshift ponytail. She gripped it in one hand, the hair removed from Y/n's face.

Now she was able to see the tears running down the girl's face whose eyes had been bloodshot ever since she entered. Spit covered her chin as it ran down further, her cleavage being in view because of the spaghetti strap top she had on with a push-up bra– it enhanced her small breasts. Jennie's whole length throbbed at the mess she was on her knees in front of her. There was something so hot about the girl in general, but especially in this position as Jennie thrust her hips into her relaxed throat because the vixen didn't resist. Y/n provided her with her throat, letting Jennie fuck it as she massaged her balls in her hand, playing with her hard and big balls.

"I'm gonna cum, I'm so fucking close now–god, you're such a fucking slut the way you suck cock. It's like you were born to do this." Jennie let out through her heavy breaths with her hips stuttering as she watched the younger girl who was getting her throat stuffed, the way Y/n's eyes rolled back, the lewd sounds of her slurping, spit creating a mess on her cock and Y/n's chin. The grip on her hair was tight as she continued to bob her head to match the thrust, taking Jennie into her throat, reaching her base, and tickling Jennie's stomach with her nose before being pulled back.

She felt the heavy balls tighten in her hold, she managed to slip out of Jennie's grip and pulled her mouth away unfortunate for Jennie. She didn't have time to complain when Y/n's hand quickly jerked at her cock, squeezing around her tip and her balls. It was the least Y/n could do to not have to swallow everything and get Jennie mad again. She knew better by now. Her body convulsed, making her bite down on her fist to stop the sounds that tried to push through the back of her throat. The cum spurted out from the slit on her tip, thick ropes of white and thick warm cum flew and Y/n leaned closer, closing her eyes and sticking her tongue out.

The dick that had been pulsating in her hold slowly grew soft and Y/n twisted her hand up one last time, making Jennie wince and slump back. Her eyes were on Y/n who had that white release on her face, taking it on her pink tongue too. The vixen winced but swallowed it down before she reached for the napkins on the table where the bag with weed was lying and the one with coke that Jennie had taken out.

"What happened to your hands?" Y/n finally managed to ask as she wasn't getting her throat abused by the woman who was always rough with her—in some instances, she wasn't, but Y/n didn't mind either as long as she got pleasure from the woman which she did get in many ways.

She couldn't help but wonder what it was that had happened. It was a curiosity that didn't want to go away no matter how hard she tried not to care, but she did for many reasons. She somehow felt the urge to want to know what went on in the billionaire's life and she didn't like this intruding urge. The girl wiped the still-warm cum off of herself, still cringing at how she swallowed it, but it felt like she had no other choice.

"Nothing."

Was all she got as a reply, looking up at Jennie who was fixing her pants, adjusting herself before zipping them up. She cleared her throat and looked down at Y/n who was already looking up at her, the woman's body covered by a sheen of sweat and her brown eyes black from her pupils that had grown from the coke, cheeks flushed and her heart pounding. One of the bruised hands reached down and she pulled Y/n up and into her lap.

"They're bruised, something did happen." Jennie hummed at that as Y/n was right since her knuckles were sore and bruised. Her hand ran down to Y/n's ass, gripping it through the sweatpants as she sniffled, her nose stuffy from the powder and she picked up her phone that she had placed on the couch. Y/n looked at the screen that was black with two more lines on it. She gestured with her head towards the rolled-up bill and Y/n picked it up without any complaints, she had trouble saying no when she knew that she should, but didn't want to.

Her eyes watched the girl who took a line like a pro, still looking as hot and perfect when doing drugs with her. She had started it slow, but now it was a constant when she saw the girl, they would get high because Jennie got high every day and she always made sure to leave stuff for Y/n. It was out of good heart because she knew the girl would need either coke or speed to get through a day now. Y/n was like a car now, only working when she was fueled, and Jennie made sure to fill her with all these things. It left Y/n coming to one person and one person only for fuel. Leaving her dependent on Jennie to be able to function.

"I got attacked by a girl's boyfriend because of a misunderstanding."

Y/n got her reply at last when she finished, the powder smoothly travelling through her nose, leaving a bitter taste after running down her throat and leaving her mouth numb, her face numb. Jennie took the rolled-up bill from the girl who frowned at the words. Her eyes scanned Jennie, looking for whatever answers she would probably never get because she had no clue who she was sitting with.

It was as if she knew Jennie, but then she did these things that Y/n tried to push away and separate from the Jennie she wanted to know and not the Jennie that she was. She painted those red colours green whenever they came to light, it made it easier to deal with. It made it easier to stay.

"Mhm, for fucking her too good?"

She was used to the model of a girl's attitude, she liked it, she also loved putting the girl in her place which was almost an impossible task. The question did catch her off guard because the girl had never really said anything like that before, if so she had encouraged her to walk out and fuck someone else. Which Jennie did at times, but some problems had started to happen in her sex life. Jennie felt embarrassed and humiliated, it had all brought her to a new low in her life and she had no clue what to do about it. It was too much to look for help because it had already hurt her ego.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Despite it all, Jennie played it off the way she had always done in her relationships even if she wasn't in one with Y/n. It just kicked in from how close they were and this was someone she wanted to keep around. She placed the things aside and snivelled, wiping her nose as her heart was beating in an unsteady rhythm, her body warm and sweaty, the dangerous emotions spiking tenfold, making her a much easier fuse to ignite because she was filled with fuel.

"The scratch marks on your neck and the one on your cheek. Sure had fun tussling in bed didn't you? Until her boyfriend caught you two." Y/n reached her hand up to Jennie's face as there was one red streak on her cheek as if a cat had scratched at her face. The blood was dry and the wound was healing. She hadn't cared when they first started to fool around and she started going behind her boyfriend's back. Jennie would have some sort of marks all the time–albeit less now or none at all most of the time–but they felt like a big fuck you to Y/n's face now.

Her thumb brushed along the mark on her cheek before she glanced down at the ones on her neck. It felt stupid to leave any marks of her own if they would only get mixed up with the other ones. Did Jennie fuck every girl the same way she did with Y/n? Did she put the same effort into every girl she ran across? Was Y/n just another fuck with no distinctive difference? Was she just another one of her girls?

It felt degrading. It didn't feel right to be feeling this way, but it didn't feel right to know that Jennie was possibly treating Y/n like one of her other girls.

"I'm telling you the fucking truth, aren't I?" Jennie snarled and yanked Y/n's hand away from her face, her eyes hard at the accusations thrown at her. It didn't make Y/n falter or apologise for asking more questions even if Jennie insisted on telling her the truth. However, it was the truth to something Y/n hadn't been asking her about. She wanted to know if she was just another girl she fucked in the city.

"But you were in bed with her," Y/n stated as a matter of fact, slowly feeling her pulse go up from the cocaine coursing through her bloodstream. Her mind was brought to a different euphoria although it didn't push away these other things, it enhanced them. It made everything worse.

"So what if I was?"

She gazed into Y/n's eyes, waiting for the girl to give up the fight she was starting and apologising for starting it in the first place.

"I'm just fucking asking."

Y/n had snapped at last because of the answer she got and felt anger shoot right through her as she yanked Jennie's hands away from her body. She proceeded to get out of her lap and stand up. The woman was irking her now, not just the woman, the state she had come in made everything crawl over her the second Jennie entered.

Y/n knew that they weren't together and that she had a boyfriend, but she didn't like being part of a cycle that probably consisted of a hundred other girls that Jennie wet her dick in. It was even more disgusting and annoying when Jennie saw her almost every week. It made Y/n feel used and dirty, like just a toy for Jennie to release into and feed her ego for the day, knowing she was fucking someone hot.

"Don't fucking raise your voice at me and—" Jennie got cut off when the door to Y/n's bedroom slammed closed and Jennie hadn't even been able to finish her sentence. It spiked her anger ten times more as she shot up from the couch because the disrespect was getting hard to handle. She wanted to get her point across, make Y/n realise and say that Jennie could fuck whoever she wanted to when she was away while Y/n would patiently wait for her like her doll. That she wouldn't try anyone else aside from Jennie unless she wanted to end up hurt.

Y/n's attitude was one that Jennie wanted to handle and be able to tame, but it always made her threads snap and she always exploded. Her fists were already clenching in anger as her tongue had all types of profanities ready to be screamed at her.

She tried to open the door– "fucking open before I break it down, Y/n," she gritted out. Unable to contain the anger going through her veins, overweighting the cocaine that probably made it worse using the side of her clenched fist she hit it. It made the door shake, but it didn't make Y/n open nor did it make her reply.

"I told you to open it!"

"Y/n!"

It made Jennie bang at it harder and once again before doing it again and again until her chest started to heavy in more anger. She felt unvalidated because the girl wasn't opening it. She wasn't reacting, but Jennie was and it only irked her more. Y/n was supposed to be crumbling under her and not sitting silently, silence was threatening to Jennie. She couldn't know what it meant and it only made her lose it more.

"Punch my door one more time you fucking junkie."

And Jennie did because the last thing she was going to do was listen to the girl or do as she said. There was no way that Jennie would take orders like these from someone else, she made sure to do it extra hard by kicking at it instead. The words that pointed out her addiction only added to a fire that was out of control, one that would be hard to get under control as she felt it all coming, it was a mistake to point out her denial.

The door got yanked open and Y/n looked at her door to see a dent from the kick.

"What is your problem!?"

"My problem is your fucking attitude!" Jennie screamed right back and blocked the door from getting closed in her face by blocking it with her forearm. She forced it open and pushed her way inside as she grabbed hold of Y/n's forearm, her grip was twisting the skin from how harsh it was, wincing pain coating Y/n's skin. The pain buried itself deep within her and she was slowly finding solace in Jennie's violence that felt like peace, that felt like kisses and love yet it stung.

She forced her onto the bed–the girl wasn't going to tower her in this scenario. Jennie would make sure she knew who was the one who called the shots. Show Y/n who was the one who was supposed to be respected. She'd go on and on until she would understand and be nothing but someone who got down on their knees for Jennie because she would realise how big Jennie was compared to who Y/n was. Y/n was no one compared to her in the end.

"No one is telling you to fucking stay and put up with it like some masochistic perv. You can busy yourself by leaving and fucking someone else."

"Don't fucking scream in my face."

Jennie pushed Y/n back down, the force echoing when her palm collided between her collarbones, a squeak coming from Y/n and she wasn't allowed to stand up. Jennie was stronger. Y/n would always be weaker, there were certain fights she would never win, but she would put up a fight for as long as possible even if it only dug her grave deeper.

Her finger pointed right in Y/n's face as she warned her. She towered the girl who had to lean back to look up at Jennie. Y/n heaved a sigh as she looked at Jennie with a scowl of anger and uncertainty about what to do. One thing she was certain about was that she didn't like Jennie's finger in her face. Another thing she knew was that it rang bells she couldn't pinpoint, but it evoked fear in her and it was nostalgic but she had no clue why. It was a blur, and her mind only dissociated in fear of what could happen. She didn't want to feel more pain of Jennie shouting at her and treating her with bruising kisses. It made it easier to forget after if she dissociated.

"Get your fucking finger out of my face." Y/n spat out.

"What're you going to do about it?" Jennie challenged her, not moving an inch. "You don't fucking tell me what I'm going to do, do you understand?" She continued, her finger still in Y/n's face who was starting to feel like she was being humiliated because of how Jennie was keeping her in this place. She did like it when someone kept her grounded, but she didn't like it when all her control was taken away. It was suffocating, it only scared her further, and it only pushed her into breaking down and begging to be allowed to breathe.

There was no meeting halfway between them though. No compromising as they were both stubborn.

"I'm not your fucking dog, so get your finger out of my face or just get the fuck out of my place altogether."

"Don't fucking try me, Y/n– you either understand or I fucking make you understand."

"Then fucking make me! What are you going to do? Fucking beat me up like the boyfriend!?" Y/n raised her voice and shoved the hand away from her face. The gesture ignited the fuel that had been added, the fire reaching the path that was filled with it. Jennie was twitching to do what Y/n asked her for. It was all so close, but she knew what happened when she went there, Jennie's bruises were still healing, and she still wanted to have Y/n. At this point, she couldn't tell if the girl would leave or stay if she took it there. It felt like she was so dependent that she would stay and Jennie was seconds away from testing her luck.

"I might fucking do it if you continue to test my patience with you, whore!" It sparked so much anger in Jennie when the girl wasn't listening. When she pushed Jennie away. When she continued to test unknown waters. She grabbed hold of her jaw and forced her back onto the bed before she even had the chance to try and get up. The struggle worked little when Jennie pinned her down on the bed. She took advantage she would always have of being stronger than Y/n physically, and mentally too. There were battles Y/n would never win and she only needed to learn which ones.

Jennie was willing to show her.

"Fucking do it, Jennie, I fucking dare you to do it. I want you to go through with your empty fucking threats for once." Y/n continued to add fuel to the fire they had both started a long time ago. The one that was out of control and they only seemed to make it bigger. She gripped onto Jennie's forearm, but her grip wasn't budging from her jaw and her weight was on top of her. It maybe would give her a reason to throw Jennie out of her life once and for all if she went through with those empty threats. At least she hoped it would. She was scared that Jennie would go through with it and it would register as love and care in Y/n's brain.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Just do it or are you too much of a fucking pussy. All you do is talk and act big when you are nothing but a scared fucking cunt. Who do you think you're fooling?" Y/n hissed, the grip was getting harder on her jawline and she stared Jennie in the eye. The anger was swirling in both of their eyes, their hearts beating in a rhythm of what was a messed up march song for a war neither of them had the right to partake in. That Y/n dared to look her in the eye, that she did so in a challenging way was only making sparks fly and the sky was filled with dark grey clouds of toxic smoke. They were both inhaling it like drugs.

"I told you to be fucking quiet!"

"I told you to go through with your empty threats."

"Who do you think you are? You're just another fucking girl on my dick so know your place."

"Do it, you fucking bitch."

The throwing of words continued as they were screaming in each other's faces. Nothing they said made much sense anymore as the screaming had gotten out of control. They weren't even fighting about what it started with, but it had turned meaningless yet it meant the world to both of them to be right at the moment. To be in control. To win. To not know when to stop because they could only stop when the other gave up. It didn't matter if their throats were sore and their skin bleeding, leaving them dry from the words that continued to cut through their skin and leave scars for them to admire later on.

"Listen to what I am telling you, Y/n, listen to me you low life of a fucking bitch that I spit on!" She bellowed, the patience was gone now. "Fucking whore that spreads her legs every occasion and would fuck anyone with a status because you're worth nothing." Jennie's voice was a harsh rasp, her grip only tightening as her other fist clenched and she had no clue what to do with it. It was itching, it was moving, it was rising and it was falling, fighting an internal battle for the girl while also fighting with her. It was overwhelming Jennie, but she had yet to get her point across.

"You're nothing but an entitled and coke-addicted junkie–"

It finally happened and Y/n flinched, closing her eyes and looking away as her whole body tensed up. She didn't know what to do or how to react when Jennie–didn't punch her–punched the mattress right beside her head. It was so close to her face that she felt the wind of it, that she could feel it by her ear. It made the fear wash over her and Jennie felt the grip loosen on her forearm. Y/n shaking under her, trembling and barely breathing. She had been scared the second Jennie pinned her down because she knew that she had no chance against the woman when it came to strength and at some point, she would have to give in.

Whatever that unsteady rhythm was, it turned into one that was heavy and her throat closed up, that lump killing her. She knew that she had been pushing her buttons, but Jennie had been terrible towards her. Jennie was always terrible towards her. She put up with it because the billionaire was amazing towards her just as much as she wasn't. Jennie maybe left Y/n trembling in fear, feeling sick from it as it built up and she could throw up from how weak and scared Jennie truly made her feel. It was as if her limbs gave up, knowing they would never win.

Jennie felt her heart drop as Y/n didn't pull away or fight back but only used her forearm to cover her eyes. The older had a hard time understanding it as everyone always pulled up a fight, they always continued after, but Y/n just collapsed right under her. It scared Jennie. Why couldn't Y/n put up a fight, be more than just prey, and make Jennie look less horrible? Why was Y/n shaking instead of shouting, and trying to fight Jennie back with more than words? The vixen wasn't leaving any marks on her.

Jennie could still catch the way her lips trembled, the girl taking in a shaky breath. "Let go of me," that was a tone she never wanted to hear from the girl. That was a tone she had never heard from anyone. She sounded scared, terrified even, she sounded broken in a way Jennie didn't want her broken, in a way that would make her leave. It was an actual docile plea for mercy. It didn't make Jennie feel in power, it made Jennie widen her eyes and watch how their world crumbled right underneath them.

"Y/n..." Her tone faltered and she let go of the girl's jaw.

"Please just–" Y/n couldn't finish it as she felt stupid enough already and didn't want her voice to tremble in front of Jennie. It felt like the woman would use it against her. Whatever weakness she would show would make Jennie trample her even more. Scared Jennie would hurt her even more if she started to sob.

The weight on top of her disappeared and Y/n turned to her side as she curled up into herself to try and understand what had happened. She had hoped they had been empty threats. She didn't want to believe that Jennie could be this bad person when she made her feel so good too. It didn't make sense that someone who made her feel so good, could make her feel so scared, it left her conflicted about figuring out what Jennie was. If she was good or bad, or maybe both. She had no clue what to do if she were to figure it out.

For the first time in ages, Jennie's numb self from the drugs, the death that she was inside out, disappeared. The drugs not being enough to numb her, she wasn't able to numb herself the way she did with everyone else. The way she didn't care about anyone else, but herself ever since she got a taste of her new life. She felt the lump in her throat as she nervously rubbed her palms against her thighs while sitting on the bed beside Y/n. She did her best to put all her anger aside which was always hard, but the other emotions were overwhelming and made it easier. Y/n made it easier, the thought of her walking out made it easy.

"I–Y/n..." Jennie started and reached out for the girl who blanched at her touch. She could hear the sniffling and suppressed sobs as she had her face buried in one of the pillows. Y/n's body shaking from how she tried to keep it in. Her jaw trembled as she opened her mouth to come up with words, but she looked away from Y/n and at the door.

Would it be better to run away or stay? Jennie had no clue how to deal with these things, with the consequences of her actions. Her sweaty palms continued to rub against her thighs, taking deep breaths while trying to think, trying to calm down and not get more scared than she already felt.

"I didn't mean to scare you like this. I swear, it's—it's from the coke, it makes me angrier than I am...I would never hurt you, I mean—" Jennie tried to find the words, tried her best to find a good enough excuse for this as she was going out of her way for the girl. Jennie was trying her best to find an excuse that would work, not an apology, but an excuse. She couldn't apologise for things she didn't control, could she?

She moved off the bed and quickly walked to the other side with her knees shaky. She kneeled on the floor and reached for Y/n's hand who tried to pull away, but Jennie couldn't stop her stubbornness. She still wanted Y/n to listen to her and she held onto her hand with her both.

"Please, I didn't mean that. I would never hurt you, you know that because...I didn't hit you or hurt you." In the end, Jennie could have beaten Y/n to a pulp if she wanted to. She was quite sure that what mattered was that she didn't and that was enough. That made her good enough if she could, but didn't. She would never hurt Y/n that way even if she could.

The hold on Y/n was gentle now and the girl still covered her face with her free forearm. The gentle hold only confused Y/n further.

"It was from the coke, I care about you. It's okay since I didn't hurt you, Y/n, please, you're aware of it." She continued to desperately plead with the girl, trying her best to convince Y/n of the words that she lived by.

Y/n tried to pull her hand away, but Jennie held onto it. Something made Y/n's stomach still twist in a both good and bad way when she felt Jennie place her lips against her knuckles before cupping her hand and resting her forehead against it. "I didn't mean to do that." She excused herself as she couldn't figure out what more she should do. She genuinely felt terrible and didn't want to lose the girl even if she didn't have her to begin with.

"It won't happen again."

It went silent, the room being filled with the small sniffles and their hearts continued to pound. Y/n's body was warm and despite these bad things her body was always in euphoria and it took away from the bad, it left no bad in the memories. Her body was still pulled to the source of the only good left in her dull and lifeless life that she didn't want to live unless it was right by the source of life.

"Promise."

"I promise." Y/n let Jennie cradle her right after and soothed her pain by being in Jennie's arms, she kissed every little red mark that she left on her. She held her, and she did so gently while helping her calm, helping her feel safe in her arms. The woman made sure to show her why there was so much left to stay for despite the mistakes she committed. God, she held Y/n so gently, she kissed it all away so softly that the girl fell asleep in her arms and stayed in them the whole night, not wanting Jennie to leave.

Jennie didn't keep her promise though, but Y/n had grown used to it and she could tolerate it as long as Jennie hadn't laid a hand on her. It did start in the hotel room when she for the first time showed this side when fighting, but it only escalated. It was fine though. It was fine to scream, punch surfaces and call her names as long as Jennie didn't land any of those forceful punches against her. She got used to them flying right by her face and Jennie then excused it while Y/n would cry and break down on the floor unsure of where she was supposed to go.

The two were each other's prisoners in the end.

[Present]

Jennie's eyes were stuck on the girl in her arms as Y/n was hugging around her waist, resting with her head on her chest. The sex had played a minor part now as the woman wanted nothing more than to hold Y/n and be close to someone. It was the ecstasy working, but it brought out the things she wanted to do too and she knew about but avoided. Jennie had always longed for someone to hold, but it never worked. Y/n was too good for her and Jennie would be there for her even if it meant like this, in a way that wasn't supposed to be.

She didn't want it to end though and she knew that she had made many mistakes. Y/n still kept her around. It only meant that Y/n took her for who she was and no one else did. No one else let Jennie hold them and she had always been empty and alone until Y/n showed up.

"Do you have any aspirations left?" Y/n mumbled, melting into Jennie's touch who ran her fingers under the tee she had on, caressing her back gently. She traced her ridges, the skin that was hot as they lay above the sheets. Her touch was soft and gentle, but it could be cold and agonising. Y/n dwelled in both.

Jennie craned her neck to look down at Y/n and the question left her thinking deeper than she usually did. It dug up the answer she avoided, the things she never talked about because she was scared, she was embarrassed and didn't know how to talk about. There had never been anyone to listen and even if there was she was scared they would make fun of her for being vulnerable.

The drugs or not, she always numbed it, but then being with Y/n and being on molly took away the numbness and brought everything to life. She exhaled through her nose and hugged the girl closer to her.

"Business-wise, there will always be new things to achieve, I think it's outside of it that I have aspirations, goals and things I want to reach, things I want to become aside from who everyone knows."

"Like?"

Jennie pouted to herself, still finding it hard to bring up as it always brought a lump to her throat and made her eyes hot when they never should be. She wasn't supposed to be this way. Her walls weren't supposed to come down, but they somehow cracked around Y/n. The girl was so gentle with it, she didn't force them open, and she made them crack with such care that it didn't hurt Jennie. It was the opposite of how she tore Y/n's walls, forced them down and trampled all over them all while hurting her to get out everything from Y/n.

"I think...I want to change, be better, and stop committing the same mistakes because they always cost me someone I care about." It was the short answer of it all, but she couldn't bring herself to give Y/n the longer one. She had yet to come through through those cracks in her walls. "Do you have any?" Jennie asked, fingers running along Y/n's warm spine.

The question back hit Y/n right in the guts, her stomach tied in knots and turned inside out before getting dragged through broken glass. She had no clue. She had lost track of her life a few months ago and nothing mattered anymore. Nothing seemed important. Her will to chase after something, anything had died. She had the drugs to suffice, but how long could they keep her satisfied until her life would make even less sense?

"I don't have any–I don't know what I want,"

She wanted to break out of the loop. The loop that she was stuck in, but couldn't break. The one of drugs, parties, and Jennie.

"I feel lost and like there's no going back now, Jennie–" She stopped as it washed over her for the first time. It had been present, but only now did she truly realise where she was with her life. What her life had turned to. Jennie tried to hold onto the girl who pushed herself up and sat, making Jennie follow suit as she sat between her legs. Y/n's life was over, there was no turning back. She had lost to drugs and Jennie. It was over for her, wasn't it? She would be stuck here all her life with no digging herself out of her grave because all it would do was dig deeper.

"Y/n."

"I keep hurting someone I love, I am this person I never thought I would be, but it's like I was this way all along and it just took time to come out. My life feels lost and I am fucking looking for solutions in places I won't find them because only I can fix it, but can't seem to do...I feel–" She felt more than lost. Y/n felt like she had died already and was just wasting her time on earth. There was no place for someone like her because she wouldn't do anything good with her life anymore. This was it. All she could do was rely on and hope that the people she had wouldn't abandon her. That Jennie wouldn't leave.

Jennie inhaled at the feeling that made her jaw clench as she wrapped her arms around Y/n. She buried her face in the back of her neck and hugged Y/n close. Jennie proceeded to do what she liked to do when her mind spat the truth at her. She painted a deluded picture because her life was supposed to be perfect. It never had been and it felt like it never would be, but she still wanted to change herself even if she maybe wouldn't be able to quit everything like the drugs and parties, at least she could quit the person she was. Jennie wanted to run away from herself and be someone perfect–if that meant having someone.

"It's okay."

"Nothing is, Jen. Life just became meaningless all of a sudden and I no longer want to live my life."

"You're too young to end your life, Y/n."

"I already did when I got involved with you."

Jennie hummed at those words as Y/n played with the woman's fingers who had her arms wrapped around her waist. Jennie knew what she had done to the girl and Y/n knew what she had allowed to happen.

"You're the only one that makes me feel alive," Y/n admitted. Because despite feeling dead from the inside every day. Jennie made her feel things, she made her feel alive and made everything else disappear. It crawled over her, although in the best way possible when Jennie moved her hair to the side and gently kissed the side of her neck. Y/n couldn't lie, she loved the way Jennie made her feel, the highs she brought her to and the way she made her life feel so much better. It was all Jennie, no one did it better.

"You're the only one who has stuck for so long," everyone left, no one stayed forever aside from the people she paid to stay. Jennie knew why they left. She was the sole reason as to why she was alone and why no one wanted to stay. Jennie only had herself to blame but couldn't lower her ego and do it.

"I don't think anyone will stay if they find out." Y/n turned her head and faced Jennie who lifted her head. Their eyes which were filled with euphoria and pain ignited a spark that always connected them and Jennie leaned in. Her nose brushed over Y/n's before their parted lips brushed over each other too. "I'd always stay," Jennie reassured the girl and closed the small gap between them.

Jennie stayed even if she knew all these things about Y/n, the same way Y/n stayed despite knowing what Jennie was.

It wasn't long until dawn came and that was when the night ended for them.

Y/n woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a distorted mind with her world spinning from the come down after taking ecstasy. She knew that she shouldn't take any for over a year as she had been taking the pills once or twice a month if not more at times. It had left her dissociating, losing her memory, and more depressed than she was before she started to abuse them. Suddenly they were the only thing that brought serotonin to her life and Jennie.

3 P.M. was when the girl woke up and found herself in the bathroom and before she could get in the shower her glossed-over eyes landed in the mirror. She couldn't figure out how far rough was supposed to go because it went to different lengths with Jennie. Her hips and waist had small bruises from her fingertips, her wrists looked like they had been strangled, and she was too drained to feel anger, but more so despair at the hickeys left on her neck. The only thing that hurt was Jennie still lingering between her thighs and wrists. At times it felt like Jennie was just taking out all her feelings on her, but she ignored it because it was better than Jennie possibly taking it all out in a different way.

Her phone went off a few times again as it had been buzzing since she woke up. She decided on the most important person at the moment which was Lisa since she and two other friends were coming over. It was a text saying she was on the way and would be there in 30 minutes. That 30 minutes were spent getting ready and covering every bruise before Lisa showed up.

"You don't look too good," Lisa commented and walked into the bedroom where Y/n was slumped on the bed which sheets she had changed. She busied herself with her phone as she had a message from Asher.

9:12 A.M I hope everything is fine, call me if you need to talk or something. I will be home on Monday morning The games are starting soon. Love you so much baby

Y/n sighed as she looked at the texts and looked up at Lisa who threw her bag to the side and crawled on the bed.

3:33 P.M. love you and good luck

She had no clue how else to reply. Every single reply sounded forced when she wrote it and she decided to keep it short to not make it even more obvious. She did talk to him last night and it was enough. It was hard to express herself the same way she used to as the words didn't come as easy anymore. Those love you's, I care about you, miss you and more. It no longer felt right and the shame and guilt made it worse.

Y/n huffed when Lisa slumped down on top of her because she didn't get a reply from the girl who looked like she was in the deepest hole in her life.

It was riveting to see her best friend this way.

Y/n looked different, and not from her looks, but something else.

"What?"

"See, you still look like a black cat, but more of a depressed one."

Y/n groaned and looked back at her phone that she held away from Lisa to make sure she wouldn't get a glimpse by accident. It wasn't like her friend was peeking, but she wanted to see what the private messages were. She had fallen asleep around 6 am with Jennie.

1:12 P.M. Had to leave for the new work thing Left you a little boost, figured you might need it if you are going out Text me if you need something or can't get in somewhere Just text me if you are going out or doing anything

Y/n quickly reached for the bedside drawer and Lisa lifted her head, looking up from her phone at the abrupt movement. She watched the vixen under her rummage blindly through the drawer until she pulled out a small bag of white powder.

She knew Jennie had started some new branch in her company, expanding for more than owning a billion-making stockbroker company. Somehow she knew what was going on in the feline's life because she included her whenever they met.

Then came the wanting to know when she was out or with whom. It also came with getting in everywhere because of Jennie.

"Is this like a new thing?"

"What do you mean?" She questioned as she inspected the bag; it was snow.

Jennie always left her these drugs whether she asked or not. She knew the girl would feel like shit for the coming days or however long the come down would last. It would make her feel better even if it only made everything worse in the long run. She didn’t want Y/n to go through terrible withdrawals.

Lisa gazed at Y/n worriedly who put her phone aside, leaving the texts from Jennie on read.

"You're on a coke diet." Lisa deadpanned her suspicion because she could see it on her.

"How would you know?"

"Dated Philip who became a coke addict. You've lost weight that you aren't able to afford to lose when you are already fucking tiny Y/n." Lisa exclaimed the obvious and pushed herself up onto her knees. Y/n sat up and leaned back against the headboard, putting the bag on the bedside table. She knew that she had lost weight she wasn't supposed to lose.

"It's like 5 pounds, I'm 110 now." Lisa rolled her eyes at that as the 5'8 girl was always trying to justify things that weren't right.

"First of all I'm not addicted and second of all, what if I've lost some weight it happens." Y/n went on defending as she wasn't addicted to cocaine or any drugs. She was sure that she would be able to stop the second she wanted to, but she would have to want to do it first.

There were many reasons as to why she didn't want to stop it. It killed the pain, it let her feel better when she wasn't with the only person who seemed to take her as she was. It killed the guilt and shame when she was high and she didn't feel like killing herself until she did and re-dosed to make it go away.

"Then why are you so defensive about it?" Lisa calmly asked to not anger the girl because it seemed like it was stepping on her nerves. The topic was sensitive which let her know enough–not enough as there was more than coke to it all.

She didn't know about Jennie and what Y/n's life truly had become aside from the partying, drugs and alcohol. One thing she did know was that Y/n wasn't someone who could afford a cocaine addiction as it wasn't cheap.

"Because you are forcing something that isn't true onto me."

Y/n looked down at her hands and played with her fingers. It was heavy on her chest and she wanted nothing more than to tell Lisa everything. To confess her sins and get rid of the burden on her, but she couldn't. She felt too ashamed and it was killing her, she was killing herself because it was all her fault.

"Your nose is red, you come high to classes, work, and everywhere else I see you."

"You do it too."

She continued to try and justify it, but she knew that she couldn't go through a class without being high or doing a shift without crashing unless she was high. It was as if it was her lifeline and she couldn't function without it. Y/n continued to tell herself that she wasn't addicted though and that she could stop because she knew that she could, but the withdrawals would be too much at a time like this. She couldn't stop now when she needed to work and finish school.

It wasn't an addiction.

It was just helping her until she was done and then would be able to go through withdrawals without them getting in the way of her life.

"When we go out and not every time–" Lisa said and reached for her friend's hands, taking them in hers. She knew that she was guilty of taking drugs too when going to parties, but it wasn't all the time, unlike Y/n. It felt like every time she saw Y/n she was either high or going through a comedown. "Where do you even have the money to afford doing coke so often?"

"I work just like you."

"I'm just worried."

Y/n pouted, she slipped her hand out of Lisa's grip and reached for the small bag.

"It's pure." She prompted and despite the concerns and not wanting her friend to go through tough times Lisa gave in in an instant as she reached for her cardholder.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 3 months

Text

-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙤𝙡𝙡-

1.4

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

wc; 16.8k+

a/n; dubcon aka drunk sex and coercion in the following chapter

[Present]

Jennie tried not to care, she tried to just go on and pretend that she didn't care because she knew that she shouldn't. What she had been living for was mindless sex, she had never looked for anything more than to wet her dick and be on with her life. She had done everything, said I love you, I need you, I care for you, I only want you, and no one ever needed to know whether or not it was true. There was no happiness in her life, not lasting happiness, the temporary was always there. It was all gone now though.

She felt useless, she felt like a loser and she blamed it all on the vixen who walked back into the room.

Y/n threw her phone onto the bed and got on it, Jennie was busy on her phone as Y/n crawled over to the older woman.

"Why do you look so angry?" She questioned as there was a small frown on Jennie's eyebrows and she didn't look up from the phone neither did she answer. The younger girl made it over to Jennie's lap and straddled her. Her eyes scanned the woman who was ignoring her. She had always found her attractive, she loved the sex Jennie provided, and she also liked those sweeter sides of her, but aside from that her personality got rotten at times. Y/n wasn't pointing fingers, she knew she was no better if she was cheating.

It did make her feel better to know that Jennie was just as horrible. Y/n could feel herself fading right into Jennie and the person that she was. It just started to happen.

"Is it about condoms?"

"The marks?"

"Was I too big of a bitch for your fragile ego?"

"Not letting you take a picture?"

"Or because I said that I wasn't going to fuck you more tonight? Could change..."

Jennie sure was good at ignoring her and giving her the cold shoulder. It didn't hurt Y/n, it irritated her because she knew that Jennie then would come out of nowhere and expect everything.

She leaned in, her lips trailing her ear as she grounded down on Jennie's cock that was stirring to life the second the girl had come to her lap. Jennie was waiting for whatever dirty words she would start spewing, but it didn't turn out how she had hoped–

"You're jealous."

It was a conclusion drawn and it sounded bizarre in her mouth, but it was the only thing that seemed to get the older woman's attention as she looked up from her phone and Y/n pulled back.

"I'm jealous? Of who?" She scoffed and Y/n hummed, running her fingers to Jennie's clavicle that was covered by her shirt. She ran her fingers up, trailing her nails along the side of her neck until she reached her jaw.

"Asher."

Y/n winced, that harsh and familiar grip she had become a victim of multiple times now came to her wrist. It happened in bed, but also outside the bed with no intentions for it to be sexual. It didn't feel fair as Jennie was ten times stronger, Y/n was only 4 inches taller, half a head and always felt in need to submit to her when Jennie used all her advantages on her.

"Of what? His girlfriend is cheating on him, why would I be jealous of being cheated on? He doesn't even have a big enough dick for you to feel good. He can't even touch me with a ten-foot pole because I stand so fucking tall before him." She turned off her phone, her tone held a warning to it. Y/n had tested that tone times before, she ended up losing her voice because of how they started to shout at each other.

"By an inch, don't let it get to your head."

"I'm 6.3. Inch and three." She murmured.

Y/n rolled her eyes, Jennie's fingers digging into her waist where she held the girl. It seemed like her most prized thing was her 6.3-inch dick and Y/n never bothered to ask why she was so specific about it. The woman was a true loser. It made it even harder for Y/n to understand why she was staying. Maybe because they had become so alike that she barely saw a difference between them anymore. Neither of them was better than the other.

"You know, he maybe can't touch you with a ten-foot pole, but that also applies to you when it comes to me because this is all you get and the second I am with him or talk to him you get like this. That's jealousy if I ever saw it."

"Wanna know something?" Jennie asked and licked her lips, looking up at the girl in her lap. Her hand let go of Y/n's waist and she reached up to the collar of her shirt, bunching it up and pulling her closer. The two of them could hear the threads snapping from the movement that stretched the material.

"What?" Y/n's tone wavered as she looked Jennie right in the eye, being a few inches away. Her breathing was now less shallow as the fears Jennie knew how to work on her were coming to light.

"I own you, I own you because your whole relationship depends on what I do to you."

Y/n's jaw clenched at those words, knowing that Jennie had all the proof she needed to ruin her relationship. She was stuck in the middle, in a place where she had to make a choice but couldn't even if she knew that the right thing was to come clean and break up with Asher and leave Jennie too.

She hadn't been able to come up with a good enough excuse and she was letting it drag out just for that reason even if she knew that there never would be a good enough reason. He was too good for her. It was a conflict she never should have become part of and now she was stuck with Jennie blackmailing her.

No. Y/n never sent her anything with her face in it or with something that would be able to tell that it was her like any part of her bedroom aside from the plain white sheets.

It didn't mean that Jennie didn't do things without her consent.

She should have known better that the woman would at some point record her committing these sinful crimes, that she would catch Y/n in the City of Sins where she was drowning in her lust and selfishness.

Y/n couldn't do anything, not even take legal action because it would all just backfire.

This was Jennie Kim.

Y/n was too scared to break things off even if she didn't want to. All these reasons to leave, but she still couldn't do it, it seemed like she only needed one to stay and it wasn't even the video that forced her into staying. It was Jennie whenever she wasn't an asshole.

She glanced at the phone that was beside them on the bed, Jennie catching it and a smirk plastered itself on her lips at the fact that she did own the girl in her lap. Y/n couldn't leave her unless she wanted Asher to leave too. She would be left all alone if that happened.

Y/n hated being left and alone.

Jennie clearly remembers the girl saying it herself.

"I could delete that one video–completely and not leave a trace of it anywhere. That freedom would feel amazing, wouldn't it Y/n?"

In the end, Y/n always got the short end of the stick with Jennie. She was always the one mocked by the end of the night. She was stuck at a point in her life where life wasn't as enjoyable anymore. Jennie had made it hard and she only had herself to blame. It went away though, it went away with the pills and alcohol and she somehow still dragged herself through school.

Y/n's life was crumbling apart because she had cheated and continuously was. It was crumbling apart because she was fading into Jennie and her lifestyle. Slowly it ate her and at some point, there would be nothing left. She would be all that Jennie was, wouldn't she?

"For what?" It was always a bargain as their eyes gazed into each other. Jennie let go of the girl, her numb fingers coming back to life as the woman fixed her shirt. She leaned in and left a peck on her cheek and Y/n closed her eyes as she grabbed hold of Jennie's shoulders who started to kiss down her neck. Her lips were soft, their touch lingered and tingled her skin, feeling how her toxins seeped through her skin to nestle itself deep within Y/n. It had been going on for so long that without those toxins her body didn't feel right. It was so messed up, wasn't it? Despite not thinking about Jennie, all her body could do was go through withdrawals without Jennie around.

"I already have your dignity don't I? How about you break up with him?"

She quickly grabbed hold of Y/n's wrists again as the girl tried to pull away when Jennie's lips wrapped around the skin. "Fucking stop." It meant nothing. This time she sucked hard and the more Y/n tried to pull away the more trapped she got when Jennie moved forward and pinned her down on the bed with her arms pinned beside her head. The squirming did nothing as her chest heaved while Jennie trailed wet kisses all over the thin skin before she bit down at the juncture between her shoulder and neck.

"I didn't hear you say yes, star," Jennie mumbled and slowly pulled away, her eyes looking at the harsh two marks on the girl–at the juncture and pulse point.

"I'm not fucking breaking up with him, asshole." Y/n spat out and looked at Jennie with a scowl. The way her heart was beating felt uneven, it was the effect of Jennie, it was like drugs and Y/n wanted nothing more than to quit. The longer they stared each other in the eye the more she knew she grew attached and addicted though. She hated the way Jennie looked at her, the way she stared into her eyes, all Y/n wanted to do was push her away every time she did. Jennie wasn't allowed that, she had no place in Y/n's home to look at her that way.

Jennie was the one who started it. She was the only one doing it.

"He might enjoy the video of you sucking dick in the bathroom with your eyes all red from how fucked on drugs you were...His sweet little girl is far from the perfect angel she tries to be."

It was one stupid night where she had lost all sense of awareness. Now it felt like everything depended on it.

It wasn't like that—it was exactly like that, but it used to be different.

She'd smoke weed now and then and took molly on certain occasions such as festivals. She had tried her fair share of everything, but she had never done it in a way that became routine. The same way Jennie became a routine. It was all destroying her life and she had lost the ladder after the fall.

She wasn't the girl Asher had fallen in love with, that person was buried and Y/n had no clue where. She would dig up her corpse if she knew where she died, but the vixen had no clue. It left her with this new star. The one that was far from who she used to be.

"Fuck me." Y/n finally spoke up and Jennie raised her eyebrows at the request, her dick throbbing in response. She just wanted to forget once again and she could when the brunette was pounding her. All those fears and worries went away because there was nothing to worry about when there was no one to judge. What was seemingly meaningless sex was what her life was becoming. "Fuck me however you like, but just do it."

Jennie had managed to break her down, there was only so much the girl could take when she was in her chokehold. At some point, she would have to beg Jennie to let her breathe. She had almost broken her to the core and Y/n's put-up walls crumbled as it was hard to keep up with her life that was constantly pacing.

"Where's the limit?"

"I don't have it aside from protection, more hickeys, or questionable bruising."

Jennie didn't like any of those limitations, but she took what she could.

[Summerfest]

"Y/n, stop," Asher said and pulled her away from him as the girl was trying to pull him down to reach his neck as her head reached to his shoulders. Her hands were at the hem of his pants and before she could reach any further down he grabbed hold of her hands. She frowned, confused about why he was pushing her away when she wanted to give him what they had fought about.

"What is it now?" She whined, being held back from touching him in any other way.

"You're high again, you can't be on E every day." He seriously spoke and Y/n rolled her eyes.

"I'm not on E, come on." She reasoned as she wasn't on ecstasy and he frowned.

"What then?"

"Doesn't matter, but I want you." It truly didn't matter as every day was something different, or she was mixing. Anything as long as it pulled her through her days.

He exhaled deeply and held her hands down when they tried to come back up to him. He didn't fail to notice the look of hurt on her face. It was enough to make him feel terrible, but he couldn't do it.

"You know that I'm not comfortable with doing anything like this in public, baby." The older guy didn't get the response he thought he would get from his girlfriend. The understanding that he always got because that was what she was. What he received was a roll of her eyes filled with annoyance as she pulled her hands out of his light grip and leaned back against the stall. Not taking notice of his hurt, her mind was racing with other things.

"Do you not love me anymore? Or am I not fucking hot enough or what the fuck is it, Ash?" Y/n threw the questions at him, growing insecure over her boyfriend not wanting what he had been complaining about. It didn't make sense if everyone else would throw themselves at her–she'd ignore them aside from one person–but he wouldn't.

"It's not that–"

"Oh my God, then what is it? You are the one pushing me away. I don't understand this distance."

Y/n knew she was being immature, but only she could know that because only she knew that she was cheating and having these fights with her boyfriend. Jennie knew too, but she didn't know what they looked like. The distance between them no longer made any sense when he was the one making it and not her. She didn't want it unless she was the one who needed it. Only Y/n was supposed to put distance and then pull right back. She hated it when someone pushed her away. It made her scared.

Her life was falling to ruins.

She only had herself to thank for it.

"I think we're in a new place in our relationship, one we haven't been to before and it's not a good phase either...I think we should work it out instead of solving it with sex because that's just a temporary solution."

She didn't like those words at all. All in all, she hoped he would break up with her before he found out, but once those moments came her heart picked up and she got anxious. What he had just said was enough to make her anxious because if they stayed in this place in their relationship, he would most likely leave her. She wanted it, but she also didn't want it. How would she live alone? What if Jennie left too? Y/n was supposed to leave her and stay with Ash.

She hated when someone was about to leave or she thought they were going to, it made her self-destruct and do everything in her power to push them away before they could even try to leave.

"No, that's not—it's not like that at all. You are the one making it difficult when it could be easy. I am right here to solve it, Ash."

"You're not Y/n, you're high and you want sex. I already said no. You're not solving it, you're just going to fuel it further this way and I don't want that for us. Let's just talk it all out when we get back home."

"But–"

Y/n tried to argue about it, she didn't want to wait for him to possibly break up with her once they would be back home.

"Please, baby, I love you and only want this to work out the best for us."

It brought her no reassurance. What if he was lying to make her feel better for now to not ruin her week? Why couldn't he just grab the devil's horns and force it to work instead of trying to find a peaceful way in a warzone?

"Just enjoy the week and I am here if you need anything else."

Y/n walked past him, unlocking the stall before leaving through it. It pissed her off, he always let her walk away, he never did anything to make it work right away but gave it time. She didn't need that. She needed much more than that. What she needed was for someone to just take the lead because she lost it when she had it—someone to decide when she was grounded and when she wasn't. She wanted someone to control everything for her because she never had any control.

Her phone buzzed as she walked out of the bathroom, making her take it out from the black purse before she pushed the sunglasses over her eyes. Her heart was pounding, her body was hot and her energy was up tenfold.

It felt like the only people who checked on her, cared about her and asked where she was were her friends, not her boyfriend and then–

10:12 P.M. Where are you?

Jennie always seemed to care. Y/n knew it wasn't right, but at least she had Jennie's attention on her. She at least asked her where she was, with whom and what she was doing. She wasn't stupid, she knew what Jennie was–it was as if she was some possession to the woman. It was better than nothing. It was what the girl needed. It made her feel better for whatever reason even if she tried to make her change this morning deeming her clothes too revealing if she was going with a boyfriend who couldn't protect her. Maybe it was the thought that counted.

She had never needed that type of control, but she had grown used to it because of the woman and felt lost without it. It was hard to make these decisions on her own now. Jennie had her in such a hold that so much depended on her and Y/n had no clue when she gave her that control. She never did, Jennie just took it.

10:13 P.M. Leaving

10:13 P.M. Could pick you up There's a private after-party if you want to come with me I'd like that

Y/n agreed this time as Jennie had offered for her to come with her multiple times, but she always declined because she was with her friends and Asher. Not this time. She wanted out before she got too deep into that melancholy she had been running away from for the past months. There was no way that Y/n would face it, she would run and run, those burdens would become bigger and at some point, a tsunami of her problems would crash over her. It would destroy everything more than it already was, but there was no way she would face anything willingly.

She was already living with the fact that she was a cheater and unable to leave someone who was no good for her.

"What the fuck is it now?" Was the first thing Jennie asked when the girl got into the car with so much attitude still lacing her that it knocked the air out of Jennie's lungs. Y/n huffed and removed her purse as she turned to Jennie, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head. It was as if she only came to her because she needed someone to put her in her place and Jennie would gladly do that. If she didn't, she would explode.

"I'm sorry, did I get in the car in a way you didn't like?" That was mocking. Jennie knew that.

She sucked air through her teeth as the car started to move. "I don't need you to have an attitude with me when I've been nothing but nice."

"I'm not having an attitude with you. I am genuinely asking you what the problem would be if I just got into the car, Jen. Want me to get the fuck out and enter again?" Y/n snapped, it was routine with Jennie. It was what their relationship built on and it was what worked even if it wasn't working. Even if it wasn't a relationship. It at times felt almost as time-consuming and attention-grabbing as one. She wasn't Asher in the end, and maybe that was what made it so good. Whatever emotions Y/n already felt, Jennie always made them so much stronger, so anger came easily too.

Jennie inhaled deeply before exhaling through her nose.

"Come here." Her tone wavered as she breathed the words out, and she grabbed hold of the girl's thighs. The two were separated with a divider from her driver. The vixen didn't question anything when Jennie pulled her closer before making her lay down. Y/n raised her knees to have space for her long legs on the seat.

"What did you take?" She asked with a hum, running her fingers along the girl's cheek who fell a hundred floors of attitude, landing right in Jennie's lap who was on her knees on the car's floor since it was spacious. Not only was it spacious, but the girl was worth going down on her knees for.

"Coke like 20 minutes ago," she mumbled, finding herself melting into the touch that she needed. The care and attention that Jennie provided her even if it was in the worst ways possible when she reached into her back pocket. At least she gave her what she needed. It was what Y/n needed, and what Jennie wanted. She hadn't grown addicted to drugs, she had grown addicted to Jennie who had pulled strings like a puppet master just to have control even if the puppet tried to be its own person at times. It was Jennie's poison she had grown addicted to because whenever she tried anything else there was a possibility of leaving, Jennie didn't let that happen.

"You'd almost think I'm religious." She leaned in and pecked Y/n's lips after showing the cross-coke necklace. "It's pure and better than anything else you've tried before, whether with me or someone else." She mumbled, giving her plump and glossy lips another peck before licking off the taste of vanilla that they left on her. Y/n hummed, the coke she had taken was already wearing off and there was Jennie always having everything she needed at the palm of her hand.

Jennie knew that.

Jennie knew what she was doing, she knew what to do to have Y/n dependent on her. How to have her addicted to her. To always come to her. The older woman knew exactly what she was doing when giving the younger girl things only she could give her, things she would come back for. Who else was there if not Jennie? She was enhancing the best feelings, mixing them and creating a euphoria she could only achieve with Jennie.

It wasn't just drugs.

All her problems with her boyfriends. The vixen found herself open in Jennie's arms each time after she would fuck her well enough. Jennie would coax her into letting it all out, into rambling about her problems, every little complaint about Asher, life, friends, or anything. She knew just how to get it out of Y/n. What she did with that was turn it all around and give her the things she lacked. She gave her everything he couldn't.

It would always be Jennie that way.

She watched as Jennie unscrewed it and put the top on the seat. The bitter taste wasn't good at all as it spread on the tip of her tongue, but it didn't matter as she poured a small amount on it. All that taste washed away the second the drugs started to pump through her veins and Jennie loved every moment of it. If it hadn't been for Y/n they would still hold the first place of her favourite things. Things, she owned Y/n. It was her possession after breaking her down into what she wanted her to be.

Her doll.

Her star.

Y/n moaned right into her mouth when Jennie leaned down, pushing her tongue into her mouth and sharing that bitter taste with Y/n who sucked on her tongue. It made Jennie get up more on her knees and push her tongue further into Y/n's warm and slick mouth. The vixen held onto the sides of her neck, nails gently scratching along her skin while her body fell into bliss. Their noses brushed and Jennie with a huff through it turned her head more and made sure Y/n got as much as possible as she let the girl swallow her tongue. The sucking on it was stirring her cock awake.

"Fuck–" Y/n breathed out when the older woman pulled away, making sure to lick up any of the leftover spit on Y/n's plump lips.

Jennie reached for the sunglasses on top of Y/n's head. Her eyes looked into Y/n's blown ones, their hearts slowly picking up, especially Y/n's who had a lower tolerance and the coke Jennie had shoved into her mouth was strong. It was so good, these good feelings were almost the only ones she could associate with Jennie as she always ended up too fucked up to remember the rest. Why would she dwell in the bad when the good was also there? There was no need for balance or in-between because the high highs and low lows sufficed.

"You're so fucking hot." Jennie groaned out, looking at the girl whose chest was heaving and whose eyes were searching for nothing. Her mouth went numb and the euphoria came right back before it had the chance to disappear. Jennie brought her to different types of highs. She loved them all. Only Jennie had been able to bring her to such highs and it made it that much harder to leave. What if she would never get to experience them again if she left Jennie?

Her eyes scanned over what the high girl was wearing as she had already seen her once today in these clothes. She could look at her all day. She usually did as she had followed all of Y/n's socials with her private account. Dressed in calf-high black boots, a black tube top that showed off most of her slim stomach, accentuating her tiny waits more and stopped just where her boobs started with a tight mini skirt of black denim that showed off her long legs. The most coverage was the racer jacket Jennie had forced on her not caring about what she would say to her friends if they asked where she got it from. She wouldn't let her walk out without it unless she was there too. However, looking at the vixen, Jennie was growing hard.

Y/n bit her lower lip as Jennie grabbed hold of the top and pulled it down under her chest, revealing the strapless push-up bra under it. Her chest was still heaving and she watched the powder that Jennie tapped out of the small necklace onto her cleavage. It stuck to her skin which was warm from the drugs and Jennie who wrapped around her like a blanket and kept her safe. These things had turned into her safe space.

"If it weren't for the party I would be fucking you right now." Y/n's hands tangled into Jennie's hair, biting down harder on her lower lip as Jennie snorted it off of her skin, hands firmly gripping onto her waist. It was twisting in Jennie who held back a moan as her cock strained, the stimulation always came to a peak with Y/n and drugs. Her fingers dug into Y/n's waist who pushed her chest more into her face with her grip tight on her hair. Thighs clenched at how it spread over her skin which had become more sensitive to touch because of the coke. It was all warm and comforting.

It made Y/n hum when the warm tongue ran over her skin, licking up any leftover of the powder.

She planted a few kisses over Y/n's chest, gently sucking to not leave marks, and nuzzling her face into the small but perfect breasts. Her hands caressed the skin that was scorching under her touch before she pulled away sniffling as it all travelled down her nose and to the back of her throat.

It made it feel numb and swollen as she couldn't feel the roof of her mouth. If there was something that Jennie did love, it was drugs, sex, and alcohol together with parties. She wiped her nose, closing the coke cross and putting it back into her back pocket before getting back up and pulling up the light girl and helping her fix the top.

"How is it?" She asked while putting on the sunglasses on Y/n's nose, covering the blown pupils for now just in case while taking her own that were discarded on the seat beside her. She snivelled as she tapped at her nose, wiping it again and clearing her numb throat as her heart was pounding. "Great, just what I needed." It was as if a different person was clinging onto Jennie than the girl who had entered the car. The woman grabbed hold of the sneaky fingers tracing the outline of her cock she decided she would have to tuck in before they arrive.

The party had been held at a private club, restricted for anyone who wasn't invited or a plus one. It was filled with people of Jennie's status, certain celebrities, models, and a few people of Y/n's status of being an anonymous person with a private life.

What Y/n knew was that whenever she went with Jennie to these things, first of all, the woman made sure she stayed with her, second, the alcohol never seemed to end, third, neither did the drugs, fourth, fourth were the corners, bathrooms and private places she would get dragged to by Jennie and the people she would run into there.

It was almost sad, but now that she was dragged into it too, she understood why people chose to drown in this rather than swim against the current that life was.

What she could remember after swallowing tequila like water was that she got dragged into a bathroom. By then the vixen was already slurring words and stumbling over her own feet, being guided by Jennie who made sure to let her re-dose on the white powder every 30 to 60 minutes. It was like clockwork, one person left a bathroom and the next came in without any blockades.

The billionaire was in a state that wasn't sober, but she was fine with walking without walking into everything and everyone unless someone held her. The woman was so used to them that she knew how to work around these complications they caused. Their effect wasn't as strong and any higher doses would end with death. She was making sure to take care of Y/n the whole night and she did. She loved how the vixen loved what she loved and didn't hesitate to do these things. It was exactly who she wanted.

She could remember the woman holding Y/n'a nostril closed with the snuff spoon under her other one before taking what she was handed and sniffing it without a second thought. It hadn't been registering in her head either way as she could have been told to sniff poison and she would as her judgement was impaired together with everything else. However, she didn't want anything else than to get lost in the night and get fucked over to a different universe on drugs and alcohol that she had grown even more fond of.

That seemed to be the last straw for her body though as the last thing she could remember after that was how she in the same bathroom got pushed onto her knees with Jennie's zipper flying open. "You're my fucking star, Y/n, fuck, I can make you a star." Those were the last words she could pinpoint she heard somewhere along the way of having Jennie's cock stuffed down her throat while giving her a messy blowjob from the state she had been in.

She simply blacked out at that moment. It left her with a loss of memory from the night aside from the way there in the car, the first few shots, and then being dragged to the bathroom and shoved onto her knees.

That was all she could summarise when she opened her eyes and was in the bed of the hotel room. It was like a time skip because of the gap in her memories. Her world was still spinning, still somewhat under the influence of things only God had the answer to. Her mind dissociated and nothing felt real as she looked around the room with her head pounding and such thirst that it was close to drawing tears. Her body hurt and it usually did because being a messy and destructive drunk came with its cons.

She was naked and only glanced over her shoulder at Jennie who was holding her close, her hot breath fanning the back of her neck as the woman was just as naked. She could tell that they had sex, but she couldn't remember it as she hadn't been conscious, she had been, but not conscious enough to remember. She assumed that she had been asking for it.

She reached for her phone to see it was 3 P.M. and her world was still spinning. It left her extremely confused, having no clue when they got back, how, and what more happened.

"Are you alright?"

Jennie's voice was in a rasp as she mumbled into Y/n's neck, her hands caressing the girl's stomach gently as she snuggled closer to her. Y/n couldn't even care anymore, she couldn't even tell if she was real at the moment or not, let alone would she care about Jennie cuddling her. It was comforting at the moment because it made the anxiety of being dissociated go away. It let her hold on to the reality it felt like she was losing touch with.

"Just thirsty," Y/n mumbled, dropping the phone back onto the mattress where she had texts from her friends and boyfriend. None of them seemed to matter when she was with Jennie as she forgot them.

"I will get you everything in...five minutes."

Y/n hummed at that as she wouldn't have to move to do it herself because she was sure she would throw up if she did.

"When did we get back and did we have sex?"

Jennie lifted her head at that and peeked over Y/n's shoulder, the girl was just staring ahead without anything particular covering her face, she looked impassive. She looked numb and Jennie knew that it was the come down from all the drugs and booze she had consumed. She hadn't stopped her, more so given her more or encouraged her to take more. She enjoyed Y/n both sober and fucked up on drugs and alcohol. It was better with her than when Jennie did these things alone. She knew it was all catching up to Y/n though.

"You're not mad that we did? You were begging and whining for it, I couldn't deny you and it was 5 am when we got back." Jennie replied, worried the girl would get angry. Neither of them had been in a sober state, but Y/n had been way worse. Her palm continued to soothe Y/n's thin stomach, ready to tend to whatever needs she would have during a day that would be a hassle to pull through.

It was enough to let Y/n know that Jennie hadn't even been close to as lost in the substances as she ended up being.

"No, as long as I am not unconscious," Y/n replied as despite it all she trusted Jennie not to take that type of advantage of her. That she wouldn't get on her unless she was asking for it simply because she wouldn't be able to fight back. It wasn't like she would remember if she would be blackout drunk, or maybe she would. She didn't care anymore, she couldn't find the will to care at the moment. Blackout drunk was most likely the same as being unconscious. Jennie couldn't have known if she was or not.

Yn had lost the will to care a while ago, there was a reason why she took drugs and alcohol without caring whether she would overdose at some point or not. The will to live was fading much quicker with each passing day. An overdose sounded like a dream come true. She loved what she had been consumed in, but she also hated it and at times wanted her old life back which Y/n knew she couldn't have back.

She turned to her back and Jennie pushed herself up, propping her head up on her palm as she rested against her elbow. Her eyes looked over Y/n's face before meeting her eyes when she tilted her head up to look at her. Her eyes were glossy from what she had been consuming.

She only hoped that Jennie wouldn't want anything in return for what she had been offering to Y/n. It wasn't like she was leeching or using Jennie, the woman just offered it all to her and dragged her along. Most of the time Y/n didn't even have the time to think or say no. In the same way, she hadn't had another choice but to stay with Jennie and she wasn't spending any money on anything because the older woman insisted on every little expense.

The vixen assumed that giving her her body sufficed. It had always worked as currency.

"I will get you that water," Jennie said and leaned down, kissing her forehead before she moved to get out of the bed, much less hungover and on a less extreme sugar crush than Y/n was on. The woman was already used to it.

[Hours prior, during the night]

The only thing loud for Jennie was her heart as it would always beat so hard, it felt like with each beat it would slowly rip out of her chest. It still felt warm, it squeezed and all that blood ran warm in her body, leaving it clammy, but it was like a fuzzy comfort blanket. She wouldn’t trade these feelings for the world, she wouldn’t give up drugs for the world. They were her world and unless something managed to replace them they would stay forever.

The music outside the restroom was making the door vibrate. These parties could end careers, but she loved showing up to every single one of them. She used to love them even more when she would be fucking girl after girl at them. Now the only girl she would love until she would have her release was in the restroom with her. She wasn’t leaving after either, but that didn’t mean that she loved her. Y/n wasn’t drugs or alcohol, but she still somehow worked on Jennie quite similarly as Jennie had grown addicted to her.

Just like when Jennie wouldn’t be able to take drugs or alcohol for a couple of hours and would think about them until she got them, she would think only about Y/n when she no longer was there.

Aside from that Jennie’s cock had been straining against her pants extra badly now after pulling Y/n to the bathroom. There was something so mesmerising about seeing a girl who used to be everything good, be everything bad just because of Jennie. To see something she made. This was her work of art. She went from moderately corrupted when they first met to severely corrupted and the billionaire loved every second of it.

That was why she couldn’t help herself but shove Y/n down onto her knees in the bathroom they were in.

“Jen–”

“No, no, stay down, Y/n…” She held Y/n down by her head, the girl looking up at her through her lashes with her lower lip jutting out. The marble was cold under her knees and her world was spinning. It was making Jennie that much more eager when Y/n was looking up at her while on her knees. There was something so vulnerable in her when she was on her knees which left the woman in control.

She let go of her head and her hands started to fumble with her pant buttons and zipper. It tugged the corners of her lips up when Y/n’s fingers hooked at the hem of her pants and she tugged them down just enough. “Show how much you love my cock, doll, show me how much you appreciate it.” Jennie encouraged, wanting the girl to worship her and her cock as she threaded her fingers through Y/n’s hair while she leaned against the counter behind her for balance.

Her chest heaved as Y/n leaned in, her plump lips gently pressing themselves along the outline of her cock. The precum smeared through the white fabric and Jennie hummed, sucking in her bottom lip as Y/n kissed her cock through the material. The white fabric was getting stained by Y/n’s lip gloss, leaving prints of her pinkish lips along them. Her dick was hurting from how much she wanted to be inside her mouth that teased through the boxers.

However, Y/n’s kisses stopped and the girl groaned with her eyes closed and forehead resting against Jennie’s thigh. It made the woman suck air through her teeth and she grabbed hold of Y/n’s hair, bunching it up and pulling her back to see the frown on her face.

“Suck it or I will find someone else to do it and leave you behind for someone else to do whatever they want.” Y/n was in no state to deny her, especially not when she barely knew people at this place and anything could happen to her when she could barely tell left from right. With not much choice left she tried to gather herself and push everything else aside to please Jennie who in the end has been taking care of her even if that had left Y/n barely sitting up.

Jennie pushed her boxer briefs down, taking out her scalding cock while still holding onto Y/n because the girl kept losing balance. Her dick was hard, ready to explode as she had been waiting to at least get it sucked since they were in the car. She stroked down, shivering at her touch and she held it at the base. “Show me your tongue, baby.” She encouraged, biting her lower lip as she used her length and tapped it against the girl’s cheek a few times. It was sending waves of pleasure through her body when she slapped it against her cheek, leaving her precum on it before she moved down further to Y/n’s lips.

Her lips parted when Y/n opened her warm mouth, sticking her slick tongue out. She held onto Jennie’s thigh for balance, her other hand coming up to the woman’s cock as she replaced Jennie’s hand with her own. With a shaky breath, Jennie tightened her grip on Y/n’s hair, her other hand gripped onto the edge of the counter as she swallowed down her numb throat. The girl’s plump lips wrapped around her tip, teasing her slit with her tongue, gathering her precum and swirling around her. It continued as she sucked on the swollen and sensitive tip that was twitching each time she ran her tongue over her slit.

Her throbbing cock got engulfed further into Y/n’s mouth, a moan falling from Jennie’s lips who let her head fall back. It was making her dizzy with the alcohol and drugs, the pleasure being tenfold and better than anything else she’s ever had because Y/n worked her cock so well. She wished she could have her dick shoved in her mouth for hours as the messy slurping and moans from Y/n filled the echoing bathroom. If only Jennie had the whole night, which she did, but not in this bathroom.

“God, I have to lend your mouth, Y/n and you have to take it because we don’t have time.” Jennie sighed and looked down in a haze as her vision was blurring from the way Y/n suckled on her tip. The vixen’s cheek hollowed around her length, and Jennie’s stomach flexed at the feeling and sight. Though Y/n tried to protest as lending her mouth to Jennie meant a sore throat, the woman was much quicker as she already had hold of the girl’s hair.

“So good, your mouth is so good, doll face.” Jennie praised, slowly moving her hips and inching her cock further inside the girl’s mouth who tried her best to breathe. It was quite literally almost impossible as her nose was stuffy from the coke and now she had a cock slowly being shoved down her throat, the pace only picking up. Her eyes were glued to Y/n who was barely keeping hers open, tears spilling down the sides and her spit smearing down her chin. All she did was provide her mouth to the woman, pressing her tongue to the underside of the cock that was hard and throbbing in her mouth, tracing the pulsating vein while giving Jennie the suction she required.

It was followed by the sound of gagging when her dick at last hit the back of her throat, Y/n having no way of opening her throat for her because of how she was fucking her mouth. Her hands gripped Jennie’s thighs for support to not lose her wavering balance and her eyes closed at the spinning. The billionaire hissed, nails dug into her thighs and she pulled her cock out of Y/n’s mouth, the only thing connecting them was the saliva from her red and swollen tip and the girl’s wet lips.

“I need to breathe asshole.” Y/n rasped, eyes on the floor as it was moving under her, the alcohol making it hard to even sit.

“You got to breathe, now warm it again,” Jennie ushered, slapping her wet cock against Y/n’s cheek again, too eager to wait for the girl. She was close and wanted to fuck it right down her throat. It made her bite back a smile when Y/n took her back into her mouth, looking up at her for a split second with her red eyes and blinking them. It was enough to let Jennie know that she could use her however she liked to.

Her hips worked, the girl holding onto her thigh while the other gripped Jennie’s ass which flexed with each thrust. The vixen moaned, opening her throat just for Jennie who almost tumbled at the feeling of her cock being buried in the confines of the tight throat when Y/n loosened it for her. Her hand just then stumbled upon her phone on the counter and seeing that Y/n was too occupied with sucking her dick and being wasted she grabbed it without a second thought.

“God, you’re never leaving, not gonna let you when your mouth works me so well.” She mumbled under her breath, Jennie’s moans breathy and needy for release. “I own you.” Her hand pushed back Y/n’s hair, pulling it away from her face and capturing the girl taking her cock into her mouth like she was made for it, as this wasn’t the old Y/n anymore. Her eyes were red and filled with tears, the only thing keeping her makeup in place was how it was waterproof. The dark-haired girl quickly bobbed her head, slowing down before picking up, and then taking Jennie back into her throat all while her spit was spilling. The motions were making Jennie's thighs tremble.

Jennie couldn’t pinpoint if she ever had seen the girl so fucked up, sucking dick in a bathroom while flying above clouds. She couldn’t even think that far as her mind was going blank from Y/n’s mouth.

“You’re my fucking star, Y/n.”

Her hips stuttered, her member throbbing on Y/n’s tongue who did her best to take Jennie in her mouth. Only stopping for a few seconds every time she reached her pelvis, nose tickling Jennie’s skin when she deep-throated her over and over. Her dick pulsating, her tip twitching when she squeezed it with her throat, having her in a chokehold before she sucked right back to her tip with hollowing cheeks. The motion was repeated until Jennie’s legs would go numb.

The woman knew that her cock was the only one the girl could properly deep throat as she reached her throat, unlike her waste of a boyfriend.

“Fuck, I can make you a star…”

Her lips parted, gasps falling from her mouth as her breathing got heavier. Jennie’s body convulsed into Y/n, her hips pushing themselves as far as they could and the moan was a breathless whimper from how it stole her voice, her body shaking. It filled her vision with white dots and she by some miracle didn’t fall over as her balls tightened, Y/n was able to feel Jennie’s cock grow harder on her tongue–giving her no time to pull away–before cum started to shoot into her mouth. The woman’s hips bucked one last time, emptying every little drop of salty cum into Y/n’s mouth, her shirt sticking to her back from how hot it all got her from the sex to the drugs and everything else in between.

Without thought Jennie pushed the girl away from her and leaned back against the counter, making sure to put her phone away before the coughing girl could question her. Whether or not Y/n was aware wasn’t Jennie’s problem, the woman holding on to not fall over. It made the girl fall back against her palms at the harsh treatment as she felt used for Jennie's pleasure She leaned forward again at what Jennie had done in her mouth, the brunette knowing well what Y/n liked and disliked.

“What’re you doing?” It somehow pissed her off to see the girl spit it all out, her cum splattering with spit against the black marble of the floor. Her hands worked on stuffing her cock back into her boxers and zipping up her pants. It always just stirred something in her when she was under the influence and things weren’t going the way she wanted them to be. Y/n always knew how to stir her on and do whatever she pleased and not what Jennie pleased.

“Do you hear me?” Jennie’s voice was rigid as she was serious and crouched down right in front of Y/n. The girl snivelled and looked up at Jennie with eyes full of tears that had yet to dry and she cupped Y/n’s face with her one hand. “I’ve told you before that when you come to me, you listen to me, Y/n.” She mumbled, her thumb running over Y/n’s lips and gathering whatever was left on them, knowing very well that the girl hated the taste. The words had to be enough to remind the vixen of the consequences and how Jennie could react when she was challenged.

“I don’t like it, Jen.” Y/n’s voice was a rasp, her head heavy in Jennie’s palm as she held onto her forearm to steady herself and not fall over. The woman knew what the girl was feeling, she had felt it all before when she had just started, and she knew how lost Y/n felt. She knew that if she asked her where she was right now she wouldn’t be able to provide a concrete answer. Jennie was at least there to take care of her, Jennie never had anyone to take care of her. In Jennie’s opinion, Y/n was lucky, but ungrateful by doing this when the woman was there to take care of her when no one else would. She could at least swallow.

“Learn to like it.” She pushed her thumb between the girl’s lips, fingers holding her jaw to make sure she would stay. The vixen winced yet took her thumb into her mouth, cleaning whatever cum was on it despite not being able to stand the taste. “So pretty,” Jennie mumbled and pulled her thumb out of Y/n’s mouth and she swallowed, knowing that it would anger her otherwise. This whole ordeal had been a problem for a while and finally, Jennie was getting Y/n to listen and do as she said. Her lips twitched into a smile at how ruined Y/n was, how she broke her, and now she got to hold her.

“Let’s go.” Jennie huffed and got up on her feet, grabbing hold of Y/n’s hands and with ease pulling her up on her feet. The girl stumbled into Jennie, her body weight being held up by the woman who held her arms wrapped around Y/n’s waist. She let them go down further, grabbing hold of her ass under the skirt with her lips finding Y/n’s neck. Jennie took in the girl’s scent before sucking on the skin that was soft and smooth, squeezing her ass while pulling away. “We have to get back out.” She grumbled and helped Y/n stand on both feet, making sure to fix her hair and wipe away the mess, leaving a peck on her lips to then drag her back out. her toy, her doll.

They left the bathroom perfectly fine, going right back out to the party, occasionally finding the way right back to the restroom for more empty lines of white which they didn't have to know how to read to understand. Despite the blinding lights, the doors to the city were closed and whatever they wanted to do they were trapped right there together which only meant bad news if one pissed off the other. And so it did start because it always did with them both.

It was easy to get lost in everything as things got blinding, Jennie’s eyes felt sensitive and dry the longer she stayed on the couch. It was all a blur and she had spent hours she assumed just on the couch with people surrounding her. It was hard to pinpoint if time went by or not because it felt like it was flying by while she was stuck in the same place. The woman had been so zoned out and busy with someone else that she never realised where Y/n was.

Enough made her forget about everything except for what was right in front of her.

There was a reason why she kept Y/n by her side, especially if she brought her to a party.

Y/n outdid the models.

Y/n dressed in a way that made Jennie’s dick throb and she didn’t mind her dressing that way, but only if she was there to make sure no one else was trying to touch what she wanted to possess.

The vixen’s features, her allure, it was all sex, or maybe that was all Jennie could think. What did that change when they were at a private afterparty where already questionable enough things were happening?

“Listen–” Jennie started, grabbing hold of her manager and pulling the younger one down to speak in her ear. There was a slight wobble in Jennie as things were like a rollercoaster and she had nothing to secure her. It was just a matter of time before she would get completely off the rails. A matter of time until a loop would come and she would get sent flying. “Where is she?” She asked, bunching the material in her fist as she pulled on the woman’s shirt because there was a wave of anger bubbling inside her, crashing against her insides to escape. Things weren’t how she wanted them. She wanted Y/n right beside her, sitting and not running off the leash unless Jennie said so.

The lack of control was like small ants that crawled over her body and she couldn’t shake them off.

“The back I think?” Jennie shoved her away with a huff, putting her hands inside her pockets to not shove anyone else as she walked through what felt like endless bodies that blurred in her peripheral vision. It felt like it was taking too long, the club not coming to an end until it did and she reached the back of it.

She opened the door to the stairwell that led downstairs of the club and also to the back entrance of it. It was lit by neon purple, making her eyes squint for a second at how bright it was compared to where she had been just now. The powdery scent of the fogger fluid that came from the smoke machines was faint as the stairwell wasn't dim with the smoke either, the scent of aftershave was much stronger when a man passed by her.

All the giggles, talking, and whatnot were like a trigger in her head as she knew that among these people scattered along the stairs was Y/n. Jennie walked down the wide stairs, getting further down. It wasn’t long until her eyes fell on Y/n.

The vixen was sitting on the stairs with a guy towering right over her with a smile on his lips as he stood a few steps below to match her height. Both hands held him up by the railing on each side and the last straw was when he let go with one hand and cupped her face. The vixen tilted her head back without hesitation to make it easier for him to reach down to her when he started to lean down.

Was Y/n the same person that Jennie was? It wasn’t like that was the point when she decided to break her down into parts and put them back together but leaving the ones she didn't want behind. Of course, that ended with an imperfect doll because parts were missing, but those imperfections were what made her perfect in Jennie's eyes-

However, when she did that the point was to make a doll for Jennie to play with, to own, her doll, not one that would learn from her and act just like her. Y/n was supposed to be with her, only see her and not forget everything else the second someone else said hello and she was wasted enough. She wasn’t supposed to forget Jennie when someone else walked up to her. She wasn't supposed to be like a stray, that was only for Jennie.

Jennie was supposed to be the one seeing other women, especially when Y/n wasn’t with her. It was all somehow turned around because Jennie could barely get hard unless she was blackout drunk and unable to think because then she wasn’t even able to remember her name let alone Y/n’s. Yet the roles were reversed and Jennie was suffering because of it.

If it hadn’t been for the railing Jennie would be tumbling down the stairs, but her feet quickly let her get to them and she grabbed hold of his shirt. Her only advantage was her money in this case, aside from the fact that she got to be taller when standing further up the stairs. Advantage money, she had guards following after her that he didn’t have.

“What’re you trying to do? Forcing yourself on a wasted girl?” Jennie knew what type of bullshit she was spewing. If she hadn’t been angry and she and Y/n would be away from everyone else she would be ramming her cock inside her. All she needed was a reason for him to leave her. All she needed was for something to validate her anger and start pouncing the guy if he gave her the chance by furthering her anger. She usually went for someone weaker to get her anger out without taking any damage herself.

“Get the fuck off of me.” He tried to push her away, but Jennie shoved him first, the guy stumbling into the wall and grabbing hold of the railing to not fall down the stairs.

“Don’t fucking touch her again, moron–I will get you kicked out and fucking blacklisted from every single club you see.” She bellowed, two men coming down right behind her and the guy tried to argue when they grabbed him to pull him away before Jennie would get hurt. Her fists clenched and she looked at the girl she stood two steps below. Y/n groaned, her face resting in her palms and Jennie’s nose twitched in anger.

“We’re leaving,” Jennie said and Y/n heaved a sigh, looking up from her hands at the ordr. Her impassive face turned into one that smiled at Jennie as she scoffed a chuckle.

“What’s your actual problem?” Y/n questioned with her tone a rasp, eyes trying to focus on Jennie's face.

The woman tried to reach for Y/n’s hand, grabbing her wrist that the girl slid right out of her hold before she could tighten in. That pain was always numbing, it bruised her, and the previous bruise had yet to disappear. Jennie’s eyes squinted in anger and she grabbed the railing before leaning closer to Y/n. The girl flinched, this time the grip didn’t come to her wrist, but she grabbed her by her hair, forcing Y/n to look her in the eye, making sure she would do so when her forehead pressed against the vixen's forehead hard enough to make her head throb.

“I said, we’re leaving.” She could hear the tremble in the breath Y/n let out. Jennie wasn’t hurting her, no, she was just making sure that Y/n knew where her place was and that she stayed where she was meant to be. There was no reason for her to reach further than Jennie allowed. What if Y/n would reach further and leave? Her hand came up to Jennie’s wrist who only tightened her grip on the girl’s hair. Y/n was supposed to stay below Jennie who would only give her bits and pieces of freedom to have the girl depending on her unless she wanted to live a cold and empty life.

Those were emotions in Y/n’s glazed eyes, emotions Jennie didn’t care about when hers were winning. Jennie wasn't one to stop because someone was crying or dying. “Get up. It will end worse otherwise.” Her tone wavered, yet it was harsh enough to cut through the skin. It was as if she was spewing shards of glass, cutting right through Y/n’s flawless skin and leaving her to bleed. The woman did everything to scar Y/n's skin because she always left her mark, she always made sure she would be remembered.

Jennie could tell how lost Y/n was, it gave Jennie a free pass. How much would Y/n remember? Jennie could feel that she was the one supporting Y/n from how she was barely sitting up, her weight leaned against Jennie. She was drunk, and high which Jennie was too, but Y/n was a lightweight when it came to tolerance. It was like a free pass to murder someone, but this time to have Y/n at her mercy.

“Let go of me, Jennie.” Yet Y/n wasn’t as tameable as Jennie wanted her to be. She was her doll, but it was a doll that wanted to come to life and be her own person. Y/n fought back, Y/n liked to dig her own grave, Y/n liked the pain, she loved getting hurt, and she was in love with the pain. Jennie gave it all to her. Jennie would continue to feed her the pain she loved so much because Y/n always ran back for more. She had the girl running back to her.

“Get the fuck up, Y/n. We’re fucking leaving or I will fucking throw you down these stairs and drag you to the car.” Jennie had never figured out where that anger came from. Where it got brewed. It was like it tingled through her body, if she didn’t let out these words, she would take it out physically. That was where Y/n was different for her because Jennie didn’t hurt her more than this. That made Jennie a good person in her mind, she was good to Y/n in her opinion. She was good if she went out of her way to not hurt her more physically like she did with everyone else who was much weaker. It always made her feel more powerful.

That anger was always so overwhelming and it was just there.

There was a tremble in Y/n’s jaw, Jennie caught it together with how deeply she inhaled the thick air of the club. Everyone minded their business, walking up and down the stairs, passing them, and leaving them in their world. The one the vixen had been invited to and willingly stepped inside for the gates to get locked behind her. The one she couldn't escape even if she wanted to. It had everything she needed. It had Jennie, it was free of shame, judgement, and pain that was different from the one Jennie caused.

What else was Y/n supposed to do?

She got out of Jennie’s grip because the woman let go of her otherwise she would be stuck. Jennie grabbed her forearm and pulled her up on her feet. There would always be that one person who would be stronger mentally, and physically, and Jennie would always take advantage of that position in her relationship with Y/n who had let her walls down and showed her weaknesses because she trusted Jennie.

She trusted her.

They made it out of the club, the music was muffled just like their ears. The air cooled down their warm bodies and Jennie was looking for rational reactions. Y/n’s arm slipped right out of her hold once again. A grip that Jennie did not like to lose. She needed it to know she had control.

“Stop fucking playing around Y/n!” Jennie’s voice boomed through the empty back of the club that was only for private guests to come and leave. She turned right around and looked at the girl. The car already waited on them, but neither of them was heading inside until they blew off everything first. At least blow off some of it.

“Stop being on my fucking ass then. Why would you fucking act like that?”

Jennie had so many reasons to do that. If Y/n was acting broken in a way that she didn’t like she would fix her to her desires. Jennie would throw her against the wall, and destroy her, knowing Y/n would lay and wait for her, and Jennie would always go back to fix her after, only to throw her against the wall again, leaving Y/n dependent on being fixed by the only person who knew how to fix her. The person who destroyed her was the one who fixed her. That was why it was worth staying despite the low lows of lying on a cold floor, drowning in tears, but they got wiped away after.

“Why? You come here with me and do what? Why the fuck were you with him!?” Jennie’s voice was a rasp as she raised it even more, coming right back to Y/n as they stood right in front of each other. Her chest was heaving, anger coursing through her veins with everything else she had consumed tonight. These things all together were the worst combination that brought out worse in her than Y/n managed. Y/n only stirred it on and made it worse, making something ugly even uglier.

“I’m going to do what I fucking please to do. What does it matter to you when you are sitting and talking to a bunch of girls either way? They could keep you company, so what do you need me for?”

It was fine for Jennie to do though, not Y/n. The woman scowled at the comparison as she was supposed to be allowed to do whatever she wanted. Jennie had always done what she pleased. She had money and could get away with so much, being with a bunch of women was the least problematic thing that she enjoyed. It was free too because they always came to her. Jennie wanted everything without needing to give anything back.

“Were you going to cheat on your boyfriend?”

It didn’t matter though, it was better to twist it and bring all the shame on Y/n who was cheating on her boyfriend. Jennie could just redirect all the fire and not have her mistakes pointed out when she could point out Y/n’s beautiful flaws instead. There was no shame though because neither of them cared about the actual boyfriend, but only each other.

She couldn’t help but love those flaws because they were so perfect even if they fueled a fire in her. A fire, it fueled a fire, and it kept Jennie warm so what did it matter if they fought? At least they kept each other warm in a fire that was out of control and destroying everyone on the way. They somehow found beauty in the ugly and flawed. All that burned land only made space for them to start building their own world and make it, however, they wanted it to look, building it off of each other's flaws, sticking it all together even if it didn't go together. It was kintsugi with broken pieces that they made beautiful.

The words seemed to flip something in Y/n.

“I am already cheating on him you crazy fucking bitch!” The girl’s hands came up to her head in disbelief at what Jennie was saying before she dropped them. It was making her jittery too, unable to just stand there and look at Jennie. It was hard to look at Jennie, the woman was aware of it as her flaws were so imperfect it made the eyes hurt, but Y/n at least took off her glasses just for her. She took them off and she ignored all of those flaws because she decided to not see them. What was a flaw if Y/n couldn't see it because she bluntly decided to ignore it?

“Don’t fucking yell at me like that.” Jennie tried to drown out Y/n’s voice, gripping the slim girl's jacket to turn her right back to her when Y/n tried to turn and walk off the anger. The older one looked at the girl who had tears in her eyes from frustration, unable to take out her anger which resulted in tears as she couldn’t result in anger like Jennie would do. Y/n was too scared, Jennie was aware, she was too scared to go that far and always ended up crying in their toxin-filled dynamic. The girl didn't hold back on her tears, she didn't try to hold them back to look strong because she knew that there was no point in trying to hide the truth from someone who already knew it.

“What’re you going to do about it, Jennie? Throw me down what fucking stairs you cunt?” Y/n spat out, her voice thick from the lump in her throat that was getting coated in tears, trying to dig its way out of her throat. She was barely registering what was around her. Her legs were so unstable she was stumbling while standing still, her only support was Jennie, her only support in more ways than one. It was her only safety net.

She couldn’t even remember who exactly it was Jennie was talking about as the most she could remember was what happened five minutes ago and that was Jennie saying she would push her down the stairs. Y/n was just fighting because Jennie was fighting, and she would go on even if she forgot the point because she wasn’t just going to cave.

The two of them could go on for days.

They could butt heads for days even if neither would remember the point.

“Shut the fuck up. It’s not my fault you act like a fucking whore and would fuck just anyone now.” Jennie growled, her fist twisting the material of her jacket that Y/n had on, fists pressing into Y/n’s chest who grabbed hold of her forearms to not lose balance. Her tears only being a mere reflection of her emotions, not being able to tell the actual pain behind them. The thought was irking Jennie further on, she was adding fuel to her own fire now. Those small threads were snapping quicker and quicker and soon enough nothing would hold her back from hurting the girl unless she would somehow talk herself into not doing it.

“You’re acting as if you don’t get your dick sucked by a different girl every day.” Y/n let out in disbelief, her tears falling heavily from her eyes, salty on her flawless skin. They were harsh though, they would stain and hurt her, and they were like cyanide every time Jennie caused them. They only hurt when they were caused by the woman who was able to make her feel so much.

“That’s fucking different!” She trashed the jacket, yanking Y/n into herself whose nails were digging into the skin of Jennie’s forearms. The pain that was caused was easing the pain she wanted to cause. Her breathing fell ragged and her eyes wide with anger, it was spasming her muscles. It was like a twitch and she would end up doing something she didn’t want to.

“How?” Y/n pressed through the sob as she was breaking into pieces, Jennie continuously throwing her into the wall without giving her a break. Without stopping for a second to let her breathe, to maybe fix something before it would become unfixable.

“Because I don’t want you to see anyone else. Asher is enough even if you should fucking leave him. If you cheat on him, you cheat with me, no one else, no one else touches you except me and me only. I will fucking kill whoever else you let inside you and then fucking kill you too. You hear me!?” She screamed right in her face after pulling her into herself even more. It unclogged Y/n’s eardrums as she could feel Jennie shove her knuckles into her clavicles. Jennie threw out the words from anger as they were the first thing on her mind. Her words vibrated through Y/n's body, burying themselves deep inside her marrow, each little word touching her soul, bruising it.

Now Jennie couldn’t recognize herself anymore because she never cared. It twisted her stomach in the worst way possible. Those words were not Jennie, not the ones about caring if anyone else touched Y/n. None of this should have bothered her to begin with but it did. It did so badly that she was fighting about something she had never fought about before. These were things she was so unfamiliar with that it scared her and she couldn't predict how she would act the further she stepped into that unfamiliar territory.

Y/n shoved Jennie away who stumbled, her legs barely keeping her up and she caught herself on the new model of the black Rover that waited on them. The vixen flinched at the sound when Jennie’s fist collided with the door's body, it buckled and she hit it right again after. It let her take out her anger as she gritted her teeth and her fist was going numb when she hit it again. Taking out the anger she felt towards herself for caring when she didn’t want to care. Jennie never did because she was always numb, she was always busy, and she was never in the right state to even consider caring about someone else.

It scared Y/n.

It scared Jennie even more.

It scared Y/n to think that this was the same person she would have to get into the car with. The damage she did to the car. What said that she couldn’t do the same damage to her if she overstepped it? Maybe this was all that Jennie needed to do to have Y/n succumb and obey her.

Jennie yanked the door open with her throbbing hand, not waiting a single second as her hand was trembling and she ran her other hand through her hair. It was making her whole body shake that was clammy, her heart unstable, beating in her head, up her throat, trying to just escape her body and leave the abuse she caused herself and everyone else. It tried to escape from how terrified she was of whatever this was. These things she never cared about, Y/n was ruining her and no one had ever been able to ruin Jennie.

“Get the fuck inside, we’re getting your shit and you can go to your fucking boyfriend. That’s what you want, isn’t it? I will fucking give you what you want and fucking leave you alone.”

Y/n had gotten inside the car, scared not to get in and Jennie had slammed the door closed.

Jennie knew what she was doing.

Whatever control Y/n thought Jennie had lost, she had it all and Y/n would be on her leash as long as she wanted her to be.

The younger girl had stayed silent the whole ride, the fight long forgotten and the only words left she could remember and think about were that Jennie was going to leave her. It was eating at her as every time she glanced at the woman she had looked unbothered and hadn’t spared a single glance towards Y/n.

These things always made the vixen crumble.

She would be left all alone, she would be abandoned.

What if Asher left too? The man was leaving her, she was sure of it after the fight they had. Now Jennie was leaving her too. It was causing unbearable anxiety to Y/n.

Y/n froze.

She tried to work it out in her head when she watched Jennie shove her things into her bag.

Things that always worked;

Her body.

“Jennie, please.” She pleaded, on the verge of new tears because she would get thrown out. She would be all alone and abandoned without anyone there to hold her or care for her.

The woman stopped and dropped the bag beside her feet while biting her lower lip. Her back turned to Y/n and she could count the seconds. She knew exactly what she was doing because Jennie knew that Y/n would be the one to cave and get on her knees to apologise first if it meant that Jennie would stay.

Five seconds and Y/n was on the older woman.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, hand running down to grab hold of Jennie's hand who wouldn’t give in just yet as she wanted to see Y/n break down even more. It was the least the vixen could do after aggravating Jennie more than needed when she had already been pissed. She turned and looked at Y/n who frowned when she wasn’t allowed to touch Jennie, her eyes glossy and fragile. Jennie could see the fears in them because Y/n didn't try to mask them around Jennie, not masking them around the woman who used them all against her. All because her walls had crumbled so easily and she had laid her trust on Jennie.

“What am I going to do with a sorry?” Jennie questioned and undid her pants, walking over to the bed and Y/n followed right after her. Too scared not to follow in case Jennie would truly leave her behind. “I don’t care about your sorry even if you were to be crying on the floor.” She continued, discarding her bottoms on the floor before pulling the shirt over her head and getting into bed. With that, she dismissed Y/n as she turned off the lamp.

“You can see yourself out.”

Y/n had never been treated the way Jennie treated her. She had never been thrown out, denied, rejected, and had her ego crushed this way. This was Y/n, she always got everything she wanted simply because she was pretty. It wasn't only this way, she in general had never been through the treatment Jennie had been giving her ever since she got involved with her. Whatever sex it was, it had turned into a game where they were constantly being dealt bad cards, playing it blindly, with all odds against them from the very start. Yet neither ever folded but kept betting more and more, until it would leave them both with nothing or everything, if not leave one with nothing and the other with everything.

Only time could tell how the game would end.

As if Jennie didn’t know it. She was part of the people who gave in because of the girl’s sex appeal. She figured that if she stomped on it and broke it, the girl would do anything that would favour Jennie in this game of cards and the woman would give in because it would benefit her. That it would give her an upper hand if Y/n showed her a card or two so she would know what to play next.

“Please, I will listen to you, anything, Jen–” Cold hands snuck upon Jennie’s bare body from behind. Y/n’s palms were smooth against her bare stomach, running down to the hem of her lipstick-stained boxers. “I’m sorry’ listen to you like you’re my daddy, promise.” It flipped Jennie’s stomach when the hand pushed into her boxers, Y/n’s lips brushing her ear as her hand wrapped around her hardening cock. The words only stirred Jennie on and on, and maybe it wasn’t as easy to resist Y/n’s sex appeal as she thought it would be.

God, they both somehow had each other wrapped around each other’s pinkies. Trying to play against each other in a game where they were a team.

“I want you, everything you have to give, I want it. I will be a good girl, you can be my daddy.” Y/n knew just what to give Jennie despite being drunk, to show her where exactly the dynamic was. That Jennie would always have the upper hand and Y/n would always try to rebel because she had always been that way, but she knew how to be good when needed even if it caused big fights before she became that obedient girl that Jennie wanted her to be.

“I will give you everything.” Jennie groaned out, her cock stiff in Y/n’s hold who was still stroking her, squeezing at her tip, letting the precum run down and smear over her member. The vixen hummed, her lips staining Jennie’s skin with her lip gloss as she kissed along the woman’s shoulder. It made Jennie’s hips buck into her hand, knowing she wouldn’t last Jennie grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand. She didn’t care if Y/n wouldn’t remember it tomorrow. At least she succumbed to Jennie for the moment.

She turned to Y/n as she sat up on the bed, pulling the girl up too–already discarding the jacket before she removed the girl’s shirt. Jennie leaned in and captured those plump lips, they tasted of vanilla, cigarettes, and tequila, her tongue pushing further into Y/n’s mouth. Their breaths were heavy, their kiss sloppier than usual, the woman worked on removing Y/n’s strapless bra and doing so with ease.

She kicked off the duvet from her body as she got down the bed, Y/n trying to chase after her lips and only getting the string of saliva to stretch further before it broke them apart. Jennie turned on the bedside lamp and her eyes were hungry for the girl, all she wanted to do was fuck all her anger out and into Y/n.

The younger looked at the cock that was straining against the underwear that still had her lip prints on them and Jennie reached over for Y/n. “You make me so fucking angry, Y/n.” She huffed out, pulling the girl to the edge of the bed and hooking her fingers at the hem of her skirt and underwear before she pulled on them. She made her so angry yet she made the billionaire crave her so much and it no longer made sense, it never had because what they had would never make sense. It wasn't supposed to make sense. Jennie pulled them down the girl’s long legs before she discarded them on the floor, quickly pulling her boxers down and kicking them to the side.

She leaned back down to Y/n, “I’m sorry.” The girl tried to apologise before her lips got pressed against Y/n's again. Jennie’s kisses were harsher than usual, forcing her tongue inside Y/n’s mouth before the wasted girl could register it. All she did was try to kiss back. “You’re not sorry, you’re a fucking brat who will always anger me.” Jennie’s tone was heated with anger as it never went away, her hand gripped Y/n’s thigh, pulling the girl closer and she pressed her hard cock against Y/n’s wet heat, gently rubbing it between her folds and lubing herself up with the slickness.

Jennie was well aware of how they angered each other and always would. They did it from the second they met and it would never change. It didn’t mean that Jennie would leave it all behind. She would drag it on for as long as possible even if it destroyed them. Pain became bearable, it became the usual, and it became pleasurable after a while. There was no telling right from wrong when they had looked at the wrong as right from the start.

“You’re so fucking bad.” Jennie gritted out, her palm landing against Y/n’s thigh, the girl whined at the harsh pain and Jennie squeezed the flesh between her fingers. “But so fun to fucking destroy, aren’t you?” Y/n squirmed under Jennie who tugged on her lower lip, her body weight pressing her down into the mattress as her arms wrapped around Jennie’s back. Her kisses were like nicks, they hurt but they hurt so good the way she kissed down her neck, the way she bit down on her skin with the passion for hatred and desire.

“Jennie–” The girl got cut off, and another even harsher force landed right against her skin, it made Y/n jump but only to get nowhere as Jennie was right on top of her. “You don’t get to talk, Y/n.” Jennie pushed herself up, hand running between their bodies as she grabbed hold of her cock that was slick with Y/n's warm juices. Her eyes were on Y/n whose chest was heaving, the girl’s eyes just on Jennie, just for Jennie who guided her tip to her tight and sopping entrance.

“Each day I will remind you of who I am, how I own you, who you belong to.” Jennie breathed out as she pushed herself inside the girl, knowing very well that she had everything she needed to have Y/n in her chokehold. It made the girl’s back arch at the stretch that was intruding, grasping onto Jennie’s back and whimpering as she had no time to adjust. Her legs wrapped around Jennie’s waist. The billionaire was thrusting her hips into Y/n’s, the room quickly filled with the squelching, Jennie filling Y/n, stretching her out, her walls squeezing tightly around her cock with each stroke.

“Your fucking irreverence towards me will end badly one day.” Jennie groaned out, leaning down as she held herself up on her forearm beside Y/n’s head whose long legs were wrapped around her, holding Jennie close while nails dug into her skin. Nothing was gentle and nothing was supposed to be as they were in too much euphoria even to feel any real pain.

Y/n’s mind cut off when Jennie wrapped her hand around her neck, slowly cutting her breath as she squeezed her slim throat. Her heavy balls collided with her skin with each thrust, the woman panting for air right by her ear, her back flexing with each thrust under Y/n’s palms and nails only dragged harsher along her skin at the lack of air.

Both of them were on the wrong side of heaven.

“You’re fucking with me for a reason, Y/n–fuck if I see you with someone else again, I will ruin you.” Jennie groaned right by her ear, slowly releasing pressure on her neck. Her hips were rough, each making her breath go ragged, carnal grunts coming from the back of her throat at the force she fucked the girl with as it was pushing her worn-out body to the limits. Her cock slid in before coming back out, only to slam back into Y/n hard enough for it to hurt them both.

Her cock was stretching the slim girl, splitting her and reaching the only spots that she needed to get touched. Every time the woman would fuck her she would touch her soul and make her attach herself even harder around Jennie. Y/n’s whiny moans were fueling Jennie on, her pace hard and deep, the bed squeaked with each thrust and Y/n’s walls fluttered around her throbbing cock. Jennie grounded herself hard against the floor with her feet to be able and have the girl trembling under her, the pleasure was clouding Jennie's mind. The juices spilling and staining the sheets.

“You will only get disappointed if you even try to see someone else aside from me—no one can fill your soul-sucking void, whore. Only me, no one else will take you for who you are, but me.” Her teeth dug into Y/n’s thin skin, biting down hard. "That's why you lie to everyone, but me." She muffled through her teeth that were digging into Y/n's skin to find even more support and leverage to fuck the girl.

A cry left Y/n’s lips, pleasure overwhelming her body as her hormones spiked whenever she was drunk. Her cunt was throbbing and her clit was continuously being rubbed at by Jennie’s pelvis in harsh motions. The dick pounding her, dragging along her walls in a painful yet filling with pleasure way, she was able to feel how much harder Jennie grew, the way her tip twitched while caressing her g-spot. She could feel Jennie fully–courtesy of Jennie ignoring using a condom when she knew Y/n wouldn’t have time to even think about it. Her cunt was snug around Jennie’s cock which was pounding her raw.

Jennie lifted her head, leaving a mark on the girl’s juncture that would bruise and she watched the girl under her. The way Y/n’s perfect breasts moved with each thrust, the girl only stayed in place because she was wrapped around Jennie. Her head thrown back, Jennie squeezed her neck again, watching the moans spill from her parted lips, walls squeezing her cock at each gesture because she knew Y/n’s body so well. Her hips rolled into the girl one last time and Y/n came undone under her, her thighs quivering around Jennie, her moans straining from the lack of air. Jennie could die from the way Y/n’s red eyes rolled back and she clawed at her back.

It sent Jennie over the edge, to know that only she managed to have the girl this way under her. That only she knew how to fuck her right, satisfy her with her cock, that she knew how to treat her exactly how Y/n needed to be treated whether outside or inside the bedroom because she was addicted to what Jennie had given her a taste of.

Her hand let go of Y/n’s neck, planting it down beside her head. “Here’s–” Jennie strained, her dick getting squeezed by Y/n’s warm and snug wet pussy. She buried herself deep, her heavy balls tightening as she had everything in them that Y/n deserved. “Everything for my good girl.” She breathed out, filling the girl with her warm and sticky cum, shooting it deep with each twitch of her swollen tip as the walls were squeezing so tightly around her that she was barely keeping it inside Y/n.

Jennie panted for air, unable to catch her breath, her heart pounded against her chest in a way that made it tighten and her throat was dry. Her body was clammy with sweat and she felt somewhere between disgusting and euphoric because her cock was still buried deep within Y/n’s snug walls. The girl under her slowly came back from her high, hands shaky as they let go of Jennie who looked down as she slowly pulled out of Y/n. Her eyes fell back on the girl’s face as tears were still drying on her cheeks, but the girl was quick to cover her face with her forearm while taking in a shaky breath at how overwhelming it had gotten somewhere along the way of the pleasure.

She silently got them both under the covers, covering any traces of the night with it as she hugged Y/n who was already dozing off in a room that was violently spinning, her body still faintly trembling in Jennie’s touch.

Jennie pushed herself up, ignoring the faint flinch from Y/n when she reached up to the girl’s face and pushed her hair out of the way. Jennie still cared about her and that was all that mattered. She leaned down and her lips gently pressed against her cheek. “I care so much about you. I’d give you everything.” The woman mumbled, leaving kisses along Y/n’s jaw and she felt Y/n pull more into her. Jennie wrapped her arms around her small waist, pulling her as close as possible while lying back down.

Jennie’s care just looked different.

[A few hours later]

“Why are you so pissed?” Jennie questioned, unable to please the girl who sat in front of her in the bathtub of the suite.

Y/n huffed, still texting on her phone while Jennie grabbed hold of Y/n’s one leg that was brushing against her thigh. Her palms smoothed against her calf as she put it on the edge of the tub, diagonally across Jennie who massaged the muscles. Her eyes not leaving Y/n who despite being on what Jennie assumed was one of the worst hangovers in her life still looked incredible.

“Everything fucking hurts.”

“Well…” Jennie started, pressing her lips against the girl’s ankle as she had already told her all the excuses. “You did fall.” She lied once again because that explained why certain parts of her body hurt.

There was the option of telling Y/n that her body was sore because Jennie had been harsh with her. Manhandled her, grabbed hold of her, pushed her around, and had rougher sex than she maybe should have since it was rough most of the time, but not like that. She could tell her that they fought, that she had threatened her in multiple ways which included abandoning her or going as far as killing her.

The problem with the truth was that Y/n would most likely not be sitting in the same bath as Jennie if she had told it.

Another problem was that Jennie couldn’t stand up for what she had done because in her defense she had been under the influence and Y/n had fueled her. It was certain that these things would happen and that was her excuse for letting them happen. What she couldn't control wasn't her fault.

Her eyes trailed along her slim leg, catching the bruises forming on her knees as having her on her knees on a cold marble floor wasn’t ideal either. These things only reached Jennie now when she was somewhat sober as she had already taken a line to wake herself up and take care of Y/n.

“Put your phone away.” She told her, expecting Y/n to do it to not cause yet another fight.

“I need to reply, Jen…One more second.” Y/n mumbled, this time not arguing or being defensive about it or telling her off because she knew that it would backfire. Her body hurt enough and she was scared to say no. Her eyes were caught by Jennie’s when she looked up to check if it was fine, looking for permission in the woman’s eyes, for the permission to send a text.

“Hurry up.” She ushered her with her lips trailing kisses along the girl’s calf.

Y/n squirmed and turned off her phone when Jennie nipped at her skin. “Stop or I will shove my foot up your ass, idiot.” She hissed and Jennie used the girl’s leg to pull her over to her. The water splashed, falling outside the tub and she grabbed hold of Y/n’s waist.

“You’re into some weird stuff, aren’t you?” Jennie questioned while pulling Y/n over to her lap, the girl straddling her and running her hands into Jennie’s wet hair. Her fingers tangled in it as Jennie leaned back, the water stopping under her collarbones, looking up at the girl, water drops falling down her pretty skin as the water stopped around her waist when she was in Jennie's lap. Her skin bruised, carrying Jennie's marks.

“I’m not,” Y/n mumbled with a roll of her eyes, fingers coming over to gently trace Jennie's face who turned her head and left a kiss on the nimble fingers. Her hands interlocked on the small of Y/n's back as she pulled her even closer to her.

“There was a mention of daddy.”

“I’m going to fucking shove your head under the water and hold it there.”

God, Jennie could just hold the girl in her arms forever even if she wasn’t hers.

These moments made it worth it when she puckered her lips and Y/n gently kissed her.

The girl stupidly enough trusted Jennie.

It was more than Jennie making her walls crumble, Jennie had torn them down with force and given Y/n no other choice, but to trust her.

Those low lows were worth it when those highs came.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 4 months

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-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥, 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡-

1.2

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

chapter wc: 11k+

[Three days ago]

It was nothing new to bring someone back to the hotel room when the parties were over for Jennie. She hadn't been doing it as often anymore since she had someone back in the city who satisfied her needs. It seemed difficult to get satisfied by someone else, or worse.

The woman under her was completely naked as Jennie continued to kiss her with only her boxers left to restrain her cock. She pressed against her heat, her hands roaming her body, lips not leaving her skin as nails gently dragged along her back. Jennie was doing everything, all the things she always did and knew she was good at. All the things that always got her dick hard. The billionaire wasn't only good at making money, no, she was also great at pleasuring after growing addicted to sex because it was better than drugs and alcohol, but better when those two were involved.

"Just fuck me already," Jennie looked up at the complaint as she had been kissing and groping at her chest and all her other parts. To the eye the woman was good looking, she was sexy and beautiful because Jennie didn't just settle for anyone. Men and women would drool over the model or even pay to have her in bed–Jennie knew because she had paid models to sleep with her. Most of them took it because they needed the money and who wouldn't take thousands upon thousands if not millions in exchange for sex? Jennie liked to have something to brag about such as fucking an unobtainable model. Money didn't get her as excited anymore now that she was drowning in it.

She collected women.

Jennie licked her lips and was about to grab hold of the model's hand but she was faster when she cupped her.

There was one problem—

"You're not even hard."

None of these women were the vixen back home.

Where Jennie had never felt hesitation, guilt, or stress, she hand found herself drowning in it. What came naturally felt like a task now when it wasn't that one body that was so familiar to her.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" The model exclaimed, clearly offended and Jennie yanked her hand away from her cock that had barely grown hard. Her jaw clenched as she took in breaths to not let embarrassment wash over her or the anger. She wasn't sure who she was angry at anymore. The model, herself, or Y/n...Or maybe even Asher who was keeping Jennie from being able to see the girl whenever she wanted to. Jennie didn't like having to wait for turns, but she did, God, she did and she felt pathetic, but she took every chance she had to dick Y/n down once her man left her for a few hours or days.

The feline tried to blame it on the drugs and alcohol.

"Shut the fuck up." She gritted out and reached for her shirt that was thrown on the corner of the bed before pulling it over her head. She took her pants and pulled them on too, not zipping them up as she would head to the shower once the woman left. It was truly humiliating for Jennie, it made her insecure and the model wouldn't consider that it did. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't grow an erection even if she wanted to. She tried her best by taking her time.

"You just wasted like an hour of my time for this. Why would you bring someone over if you can't even get it up." The woman argued as she started to gather her clothes. Jennie's nose twitched as she sat at the edge of the bed with her fists clenching in anger. It wasn't anything in her system, she hadn't gotten drunk and had barely taken any drugs aside from a few white lines like she always did. There was only one explanation and it had never happened to her before.

Jennie had been in relationships and she knew that she hadn't stayed faithful in them because her dick always sprung to life when she saw someone hot who would look her way. It made her forget love the second a girl got on her knees to suck her off. Her love only lasted for the night, it always had.

"Shut the fuck up you bimbo-looking slut! I fucking brought you over and that's more than you will ever fucking accomplish in your life." Jennie snapped and stood up, glaring at the woman who was slipping her dress back on.

"You can't even accomplish an erection which is pathetic enough–no one's gonna waste their time on you anymore." The model bellowed, and Jennie felt it wash over her. The anger consumed her from how the girl was disrespecting her and when she was about to pass she grabbed hold of her wrist and forced her to face her.

"You're not fucking telling anyone about this or I will fucking ruin your career in a second." She threatened the woman as she didn't need it to spread to everyone that she couldn't even get her dick semi-hard. It was going around that she was making women cum left and right, and that she knew exactly how to blow someone's back or use her tongue. It would ruin her reputation when it came to this. For the last few women she had slept with, Jennie had to fake her orgasms and throw the condoms away before they could check if she truly had finished because she grew soft before she was able to finish. It was draining her and the frustrations only grew more, she had reached her peak, and the anger was boiling out of the lid that would blow up.

"Let go of me or they will get to know about this too."

"I told you something and you say that you fucking understand unless you want your career dead!" Jennie's voice boomed through the suite as her grip tightened on the woman's wrist. That anger came without any control, the control she didn't have, but it controlled her life, she was a slave to her anger.

It happened right away as she slapped Jennie because the grip was numbing on her wrist, but Jennie's excuse was that she was already angry. The woman had already angered her and was only pushing more of her buttons. It was all her fault and not Jennie's when she barely flinched from the slap and used her strength when her knuckles itched before colliding with the model's face. It was out of her control in the end and it would have never happened if people listened right away.

Jennie maybe wasn't the biggest person, but she surely did work out and did practise boxing simply for her safety as it was recommended by her team. She could never know who would show up, but it also ended with other people hurt as the force was enough to make the younger woman drop to the floor. Jennie felt her heart pick up in rate like it always would in these situations where she seemingly had no control as the sobs filled the room. It never seemed to stop her though. It only fueled her because of the sense of power she got from it, those bad feelings got replaced with power, dominance, killing whatever challenge the woman tried to put up by even looking her in the eye when she was angry.

It was a curse, but it had been there so long that it felt like a reward.

"Get the fuck out before I break more than your nose and remember that no one would ever believe you over me unless you want legal trouble for defamation of character." She spat out, flailing her hand the slightest that she had used. In the end, Jennie had all the money and Jennie was known as someone with a pure and sweet soul that helped everything and everyone around her. From donations to charities to everything else in between.

No one would believe the girl below her whose nose was bleeding as she looked up at her terrified. It wasn't the first time she got that look. The look let her know that she wasn't the prey and it made her feel safe in her skin, it washed away the embarrassment and humiliation because the woman was scared of her.

"Are you deaf? Get the fuck out, good for nothing whore!" She snarled and watched how the crying girl got up from the floor, grabbing the rest of her stuff to hurry out. Jennie huffed and turned back to the bed with her pants resting at her hips and reached for her phone. She could hear the door slam closed as she opened the phone and looked through her contacts, unsure of who to contact, and what to prioritise. She was frustrated and slumped down onto the bed, sitting at the edge, it was just another lonely night.

Her fingers stumbled upon the name that was stuck to her like glue because she was stupid enough to let it happen. Jennie bit her lower lip and opened the messages she had with the vixen as she knew that she didn't answer phone calls after all the calls she dialled only to not be answered. These were lengths Jennie had never gone to and it was annoying her yet she kept going as she texted the girl.

1:01 AM Are you busy???

She exhaled deeply, waiting for an answer as she just stared ahead of herself, drowning in empty thoughts because she didn't want to think about what happened. The empty thought came to thoughts of wanting to conclude her problems, but she shut every one of them down because she was too rich and powerful to have these problems. She didn't believe in these things so they could never become real problems. The buzz of her phone that was resting on her thigh got her out of it though and she picked it back up.

1:07 AM Studying With Lisa The fuck do you want?

1:08 AM Nudes would suffice, or at least some kind of pictures to jerk off to

In the end, Jennie still felt sexually frustrated, it made the anger go away most of the time and she wouldn't be able to sleep unless she would at least cum in her hand or in the shower. Or maybe both depending on how many pictures she gets–

1:11 AM Have you heard of pornhub, onlyfans or even paying someone to come and suck you off?

1:11 AM Not the same, it's late and I am too busy

1:12 AM You can scroll up then

1:13 AM I want new ones, in red or black lingerie

1:15 AM The fuck do I look like to you? Not a wishing well I hope you slot machine-built bitch

1:15 AM Usually you remind me of a cumslut the way you get covered in it. The fuck do you mean by slot machine?

Jennie groaned as Y/n was working on her nerves and all she wanted was to wank her prick and then go to sleep. She could use her imagination or replay what they had done, but it wouldn't work when her mind was preoccupied with anger and then sex.

1:20 AM You shit money and spurt cum like a slot machine It's all you are good for, pathetic loser :PhotoAttachment1 :PhotoAttachment2 :VideoAttachment3 Here, this is all you get for being so demanding Go kill yourself after instead of texting me again<33

She truly had no clue why she was putting up with the attitude of the mean girl. With most women, she would show them their place and not have them disrespect her or she would kick them to the curb. Maybe it was because she couldn't afford to throw away someone who worked like Viagra on her dick. Or maybe because Y/n didn't seem tameable after the few times Jennie snapped only for the girl to snap right back. It was a challenge and Jennie always won them, this one has been taking longer to win though.

Jennie opened the pictures of the girl in lacy lingerie and she knew that it was just because she had asked for specific ones that Y/n sent her in white and navy blue. It didn't matter as she looked at them while she pushed herself up the bed and leaned back against the headboard. She pulled her pants lower together with her boxers. Her hand blindly reached to the side where the bottle of lube was standing just for these moments. She licked her lips, opening the video of the girl feeling herself with music playing in the background in nothing but white lingerie, her body slim, perfect small tits, long legs, tiny waist, and a body so perfect Jennie couldn't get enough as her hand was already stroking around her growing cock.

Her mind forgot about what happened as it never really mattered since she was invincible to these things damaging her. Instead thinking about how Y/n would work her hands on her thick length and let her release on her face and chest. Her mind was occupied with the girl, never did she think about a specific woman during her days, but now it was happening more often and it was always the same face.

[Present]

Jennie's cock was hard and leaking with salty precum once again, unable to keep it down when she was with Y/n. The younger girl was right beneath her with her clothes on the floor as Jennie continued to kiss her. The cock rested heavily on Y/n's thigh while Jennie's fingers ran through her folds, coating them in stickiness as her thumb found the swollen clit where she had gathered the wetness. Y/n hummed into Jennie's mouth when she reached two fingers down before she with ease slid them inside to get the girl ready for the cock as the stretch got painful at times from how tight she was.

"Fuck," Y/n breathed out as she pulled away from Jennie's lips, the woman slowly doing scissoring motions while rubbing at her g-spot, her thumb still working her clit.

"Tell me how good it feels when I touch you."

"So fucking good, Jennie–" She whined as her hips bucked into Jennie, a moan getting caught in her throat. She pressed harder on her clit, rubbing in just the right motion while stretching the girl with her fingers that continued to spread the tight and squelching hole. Her hips slightly bucked, rubbing herself against the smooth thigh, having a hard time holding back. She kissed down, Y/n tilting her head as she nipped at her skin, knowing that the girl would kill her naked in bed if she left a hickey. Last time she got thrown out with barely any clothes on for trying.

"Who else can make you feel this good? Who else can make you such a desperate whore, Y/n?" The girl under her whined, back arching off the bed as she wrapped her arms tighter around Jennie's back for some grip. It was quite the opposite as the younger girl would leave Jennie with bite and scratch marks that were bleeding at times. Their chests pressed together, and Jennie could feel the cold barbells pressing against her from the pierced nipples.

"No one, God— no one, I'm only a whore for you." Jennie hummed at the stinging of nails pushing into her shoulder blades as Y/n's thighs quivered and her breathing picked up. It was a sort of control that Jennie loved, she loved having this control over Y/n because she depended on her to get a good release.

She depended on her because no one had been able to fuck her right, not even the boyfriend who wasn't even hovering near her mind. All she could think about was the way Jennie pumped her fingers inside her, the way she rubbed at her walls, slowly stretching her to make sure her thick member would fit. Her thumb played with her clit and it was making her whole body tingle as she was nearing her orgasm. Her walls continued to clench as she whimpered and moaned for more. She had fallen for the wrong kind of thing, she had fallen for pleasure and it was all she wanted, it was all that mattered.

"You're so good, knowing what you are for me...A whore for me to empty into." At least she wished the girl would let her fill her hole with cum until it was leaking. To fuck it all right into her womb and leave her crying for more like she had done times before. Y/n let out another moan, her voice going up in pitch and making Jennie's dick twitch at the erotic sound. Her walls clasped around Jennie's two fingers and the heat washed over her body, her breathing coming to a stop for a few seconds as nails dug further into the skin from how she tensed up.

She looked at her, her head thrown back with her chest pressing against Jennie's. Her lips started to trail kisses along her jaw as she continued to work on her clit. "This is what you need, someone to fuck you right," Jennie grumbled, knowing that the guy wasn't able to satisfy Y/n the same way she did. She was the one who made her legs quiver, her back arch, and moans spill if not cries.

Y/n knew it too and she was risking losing both because of where she was stuck yet she continued to grasp at Jennie with her thighs quivering around the woman. The orgasm hit her hard in waves of pleasure and her vision turned black. Her walls pulsating from the aftershocks caused by the high Jennie was able to take her to by simply touching her right.

She slumped down, making Jennie slow down her movements as she continued to kiss along her jaw. Y/n lolled her head to the side and caught Jennie's wet lips with hers, tongues lethargically pressing against each other as her fingers now gently brushed over her shoulder blades and down to her back, feeling the muscles flex as Jennie moved. Her fingers pulled out of the snug and pulsating grip of her wet cunt and she rested both forearms on either side of the girl's head. Shuddering as her cock rested against the heat of the girl.

[Four months ago]

Jennie stopped the car outside the apartment complex and tapped her fingers against the wheel. The last time she had been outside of it was a week ago. It wasn't anything she usually did, but she felt like she needed to do some damage control. She felt like she had somewhat taken advantage when she decided to have sex with the girl who was on a high dose of Ecstasy. She didn't need Y/n to think the same and try to press any charges.

It wasn't like she hadn't had sex with anyone under the influence before, but in those instances, they had taken these drugs willingly–Jennie being under the same influence. The vixen got high on accident. Not only that but her number had been blocked by the younger girl. She just wanted to do damage control to see if it was because she had cheated or because of the circumstances the sex had been initiated under. If it was the second she would have to make sure the girl would be quiet by most likely bribing her, threatening if necessary.

She got out of the car and was shooting in the dark as she had no clue what the girl's last name even was. All she knew was her first name. With the hood up and sunglasses on she walked through the parking lot and towards the door where she had seen Y/n come out of. She was a bit nervous, she couldn't tell how it would go–if she would even find the right door.

It seemed as if luck was on her side when an elderly woman was slowly pushing the door open. Jennie picked up her steps and quickly grabbed the door, pulling it open for her.

"Thank you." She smiled at her and before she could walk out and walk away the billionaire spoke up.

"Wait—uhm you wouldn't happen to know Y/n?"

"Y/n?" The elderly woman questioned as she turned to look at Jennie, holding onto her walker. She quickly nodded her head.

"I go to the same college as her and she only sent me her address, my phone battery is out and I can't ask what door is hers." Jennie reached for her phone and showed the screen that was just turned off, pretending to push the power button on the side. Her lips pursing in feigned despair.

"Third floor under the names Y/l/n and Thomson."

"Thank you, have a good day." Jennie thanked the woman and quickly walked in, letting the door fall closed. She heaved a sigh to see that there was no elevator in the four-story building. With that she started to make her way up the stairwell, her footsteps leaving echoes after them.

She went over what to say in her head, what excuses to use for what happened, and what to offer if the excuses weren't enough. A couple of thousand or a million wouldn't even make a change to her bank account as she earned the money right back in a few minutes. The loud sounds of her sneakers colliding with the stairs stalled as she reached the third floor and huffed, pulling down her hood and pushing her sunglasses up to the top of her head.

She slowly walked along the way, scanning the few doors until her eyes landed on the one with the two last names that were mentioned. It made her stop for a second–she hadn't thought far enough about what she would do if it were the boyfriend who opened. She had no clue what she had told him and the one time she had seen him: she couldn't deny that he was probably four times her size.

It couldn't get that bad though.

Jennie knocked on the door and put her hands in the pockets of her loose jeans as she waited for it to open.

It wasn't opening and she took out her phone to look at the time.

Sunday, 2 p.m.

She reached her hand out and knocked once more to make sure in case it was because she hadn't heard her.

And she did so for a third time.

Finally, she heard some type of noise from the other side and took a step back. Expectantly she waited and the door finally opened to reveal the girl she had slept with last week. It felt almost odd to come face to face with someone she hooked up with. She never really did unless it was some sort of fling she would call over more than once. There was no need to stick to one girl when she could have a new one every day.

It followed with a groan and she scanned the girl whose hair was dripping with water and a towel wrapped around her chest, leaving her overly exposed. Jennie swallowed and with the hand that was still in her pocket adjusted her dick that twitched.

"What the fuck?"

The question flew out of Y/n's mouth, utterly confused about what the older woman was doing outside her door.

Jennie cleared her throat and looked up from the long legs where water was still dripping down. She would pay to lick them up and then continue up–

"I wanted to talk."

"About what?" Y/n's tone was somewhat harsh and it was so for a good reason. The woman whom she had blocked and hoped she would never see again was right in front of her. It didn't feel right. She had spent the past week crying and sleeping on the couch or at Lisa's place all while constantly fighting with her boyfriend because she had no clue what to do with what happened. There was no finish after the start because how did she finish a race like this when she had no clue what the finish line looked like?

"About what happened."

Y/n grumbled and stepped aside as maybe the finish would be talking it through with Jennie. Or maybe she just had to come clean to her boyfriend. Or maybe she was supposed to keep quiet about it for the rest of her life. In the end, it wasn't like her to cheat. She was guilty of harmless flirting with other people, but it was usually for the benefit of a broke college student who got free drinks because she was pretty. She never let anything go further.

Jennie nodded as she stepped inside, using the opportunity to adjust herself a bit better as Y/n's back was turned to her–the lock clicking.

"You have a cat." She pointed out the obvious, for a moment forgetting what she came for as the Russian blue scurried over to them.

"That's Vinci, he's a fucking menace so don't touch him–he only doesn't hate me." Y/n warned as she turned around to see Jennie already crouching down. She stepped around the woman, letting her deal with it as she had already warned her about what the cat was.

"You're being dramatic, look he's coming over to me," Jennie said as the cat rubbed himself on some furniture before heading right over to Jennie. Y/n shrugged and walked into the open living room, she leaned against the backrest of the couch and looked at the woman. It didn't feel right to let her inside the apartment, the home that was hers and Asher's, but she had already invited her to a different place after Jennie invited her to sin. It somewhat irked her that she was so bothered by it. She knew she deserved it, but to see Jennie not mind it at all made her realise that it was her mistake and her mistake only. She couldn't blame Jennie for cheating on her boyfriend.

"I warned you, he's not nice at all."

Jennie reached her hand out and yelped when the cat jumped onto it, biting it with claws digging into her hand, Vinci's back paws kicking at it. The cat tousled with her hand. "Fucking hell!" She exclaimed and pulled him away with her other hand before quickly standing up. It didn't seem to end as he started to attack the sleeves of her pants.

"Get him away." She called for help as she tried to gently push him away to not hurt the cat, but it didn't seem possible, the claws digging into the material of her jeans. Y/n heaved a sigh and pushed herself up as Jennie got backed up into the wall by the cat that was biting on her feet as she tried to get away.

"Come here, my baby." Y/n cooed at the devil of a cat that had left Jennie's hand with scratches, bite marks and some blood streaks. Her feet were in the same condition as her hand. She watched as the girl picked him up, kind of worried that he would do the same to her and leave her exposed clavicles a bloody mess, but all he did was purr and cling to her.

Y/n looked over at Jennie who inspected her hand.

"Told you so." She said. She had told her that the cat wasn't fond of anyone aside from her. Jennie huffed and followed after Y/n who walked back into the living area and let the cat down that ran right to his cat tree, climbing to the top before laying down and staring right at Jennie.

"He has your personality." The brunette commented. He was just as mean as Y/n and the girl was the first one to be a bitch towards her without a care about who Jennie was. She made herself comfortable as she sat down on the couch, the vixen sitting on the other end of it.

"You don't even know me cuckold." Y/n hissed and fixed her towel to make sure that it was secure, feeling the intense gaze of Jennie. Over the years she had grown used to the gazes that could at times make her skin crawl, especially if she was out. The woman's wasn't subtle and Jennie continued to come off as an asshole with the way she stared.

"Know you enough to see that you're quite the bitch and the last thing I am is a cuckold."

"Fine, an unwanted cum stain," Y/n said and clicked her tongue as Jennie was certainly unwanted here and yet she was there.

Jennie rarely had anyone talking to her that way unless they were her closest friends, but even those were few. Her eyes narrowed, unsure of how to take it from the girl who didn't seem to care for a second about who she was. She leaned back on the couch and rested her arm on the backrest.

"Is that so?" Was all she could say as she was quite speechless after being called an unwanted cum stain for the first time in her life.

"Yeah, I blocked your number for a reason." Y/n's eyes averted away from Jennie and she looked at the blank screen of the TV.

That was the exact reason as to why Jennie had come. If the girl hadn't blocked her she would've just asked her through texts and possibly see if she was up for more if the waters were safe. Now it was different as she was at her apartment on a Sunday.

"Which is?"

"Because I don't want to see you again."

Y/n pressed the idea as Jennie was asking a lot of why questions and she didn't need a better reason than simply not wanting to see her.

"Why is that?"

"Cause, there's no good reason to see you again."

The only reason seemed to be if she wanted to cheat again which she wasn't supposed to want. That thrill, that good sex, the thought of being horrible yet still enjoying herself during the moment, she wasn't supposed to want that. There was no good reason for Y/n to see Jennie when it came to Asher. She felt horrible, she felt even worse for enjoying it, and even worse for wanting to experience that adrenaline once again. It was as if she had taken a hit of heroin and grown addicted right away and now the only thing that would be able to suffice her boring life was Jennie with her dick.

It wasn't her fault that her boyfriend was at most decent in bed and even then was all gentle and loving. Scared to hurt her physically because he was so much bigger or say something that would hurt her. They clashed in bed. He was soft and uncomfortable with anything aside from praises and Y/n wanted to at times bang her head against the wall because of it. It was just the sex which didn't matter since she loved him for being the person that he was. Sex was just occasional for them as it wasn't a big part of their relationship. It gave her no right to cheat.

"Not even the sex?" Jennie asked with her eyebrows raised, removing the sunglasses from the top of her head.

"Not even the sex."

She felt somewhat challenged, her big ego about how good she was at pleasuring getting bruised. It made the foundation crack, and her ego extremely fragile because of how big and blown it was. The smallest poke made it blow up and blow away with the wind. That was why she never allowed anyone to try and step on her, or somehow bruise it by putting herself on top right away. Right now she was fighting with Y/n about that spot despite the girl not knowing it, at least she thought she didn't know.

"So it wasn't good?" Jennie continued to ask as she wasn't believing the girl and she also refused to be the only one to think that sex with the girl was quite amazing. She had to think the same.

"Not good enough for me to even remember it." Y/n lied as she could remember every single part of it and the only thing she couldn't remember was anything else from that night.

"You have to remember something. You were high but I hope that wasn't a problem since I asked for your consent."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to accuse you of anything. I was high, but well aware of what was happening even if I was more prone to letting it happen...You should consider not fucking girls high on E 'cause not everyone would let it slide after because of the headspace you get into."

"That was why I came." Jennie knew that it wasn't right to have sex with the girl if she wasn't in the right state of mind. It wasn't the case since it hadn't made her dissociative just like Y/n said that she had been aware. Although ecstasy had made her more clingy and somewhat unaware of how far things were being taken until they had happened since standards lowered and everyone was a friend when ecstasy coursed in the veins. She was worried she would have regretted it differently after and then accused Jennie of things.

"Well, you have your answer," Y/n concluded and was about to stand up, but was stopped.

"Okay, but why did you block me if that wasn't the problem?" That still bothered Jennie because she felt imbecilic for trying to text the girl only to be blocked. It made no sense for her to be blocked in the first place when she usually had to block girls because they thought the sex meant something. Everyone wanted it to mean something because she had money.

"What does it matter to you?"

"Didn't think it would be a one-time thing, especially if we both were drunk and high...Doesn't count in my opinion." Jennie used it as an excuse for her bruised ego. All she wanted to do was have sex one more time and prove how good she was, but then block the girl to bruise hers right back.

Y/n raised her eyebrows at the words and watched as Jennie shifted, her gaze catching her eyes. She blinked, trying to process what she meant by that.

"What?"

Jennie shrugged at that. "I want to have sex with you at least once more...I could pay you if that means that you agree." She casually explained that she wanted to at least have sex once more with the vixen and this time properly to make sure that she would remember it and want more.

The girl on the other side looked more offended than pleased by the offer.

"Okay, first of all, I would never have sex with anyone for money and second, no." Y/n ridiculed the whole thing as bizarre as she couldn't phantom where the older woman had so much confidence to ask something like this. It didn't matter how good-looking someone was, it was a far reach, but maybe girls agreed to her if they were desperate enough. Y/n knew that she wasn't.

"Why not? It's just sex, it's not like I am some musty creep."

"Because I have a boyfriend, it's cheating," Y/n answered as it was cheating, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't do it. She refrained from leaping to the world of selfishness which was lust and desire. It wasn't right at all and she tried her best to not look for valid reasons to go through with it. The internal battle was constant when she knew what she should choose right away. She was supposed to leave Sin City- she wasn't supposed to enter to begin with.

"Doesn't count if he won't find out. Where is he?" Jennie glanced around the empty apartment, finding no reason for the girl to hold back if her man wasn't home and wouldn't find out. It was only cheating if she got caught in her opinion. It was like playing a board game, she only got called out for it if the rest saw, found out, or suspected that she was cheating. The coast was clear and the game could continue without any problems.

"Practice," Y/n mumbled and widened her eyes at the sound of a zipper flying open.

"What're you doing, keep it in your pants, Jennie." She exclaimed as the woman was about to reach into her pants because she thought that it was the green light when the girl answered. She heaved a sigh and rested her fingers under the hem of her boxer briefs, the pants unzipped and her dick slowly growing harder.

"Is it because you don't want to cheat or what?" She asked. Jennie had a past of cheating, but it had never bothered her like it did Y/n so she couldn't grasp it.

Y/n inhaled deeply, her gaze falling on the cat that was now asleep, the apartment silent.

"It's because of the opposite when it shouldn't be." She couldn't help but want it, but she knew that it wasn't right so she couldn't grasp what was wrong with her head. She loved her boyfriend and that meant that she shouldn't even think of it, but she truly didn't love him any less just because she wanted some good sex. It was just sex, it wasn't even what defined their relationship since sex was the last thing on their list. It wasn't like she would stop loving him or he her—as long as he didn't find out–Jennie was nothing but some good dick.

Y/n felt horrible, all those reasonings weren't right, and there was no good enough reason to cheat. She was aware of that. Nothing was ever good enough to go this far. Nothing was excusable. She felt ashamed for enjoying it–

Yet she found herself bent over the couch with Jennie giving her such backshots that her eyes were rolling back when she came and cheating wasn't even a real word or concept. "Oh fuck." Jennie groaned out, pulling out of the girl and jerking herself off before blowing her hot load right on the perfectly slim ridges of her spine.

It didn't count as long as he didn't find out.

[Present]

"You're on birth control, we don't need them," Jennie complained as the younger girl opened the bedside drawer and reached for the condoms she had in there. It was becoming quite an expense because of how they went at it for hours when they could. She didn't use them with her boyfriend but did at times so there would be no questions about why there were condoms at home. Her hands ran over Y/n's body which was straddling her thighs as she sat leaned against the headboard.

"We do." The answer was simple as she deadpanned it.

"What for?" Jennie asked as she cupped her one breast, her fingers tugging at the hard nipple and toying around with the piercing. She leaned in and left a few kisses along the other breast before sucking in the bud into her mouth. She toyed with the nipple, playing with the piercing and grazing her teeth along it as it scraped over her teeth. Sighs left Y/n's mouth as she gripped onto Jennie's head.

"Not just for pregnancy." She breathed out and Jennie pulled away, another frown graced her eyebrows and Y/n handed her the wrapper, but she didn't take it.

"Do you think I carry some kind of STD?" She seriously asked and Y/n shrugged her shoulders at that, not up for humouring Jennie who always acted like she was dead in the brain in Y/n's opinion. At least she knew how to use her other head.

"Didn't say you do, but you never know what might happen. I only have one partner and see you on the side while I have no clue who you sleep with. If I were to catch something, what would I say?" The words left her with ease, cheating being a normal topic and she knew what she was at the back of her head. Y/n tried to ignore it most of the time because she didn't want to face the horrible person that she was.

"I use protection with every girl I meet." She had started to at least as she was done with shoving plan B's down girl's throats. Then she had no other choice since they would be able to tell that she had been faking her orgasms since she grew soft inside if she even got it up which hadn't been possible last time. It was mostly possible when she was wasted drunk, that was when she could get it up and hope for it to stay up.

"Oh wow, would you look at that, how great that I have stacked up on condoms then," the sarcasm irked Jennie as Y/n opened the packet herself and took out the rubber.

"You don't use them when you suck me off–" Jennie pointed out and her breath shuddered at how Y/n gently started to pull the condom over her dick that was standing proudly (seemingly just for her) like usual. It clicked in her head that it was something more than just protection from pregnancy and STDs because then she would make sure to have a condom on when she would go down on her. "What is it then?" She asked and grabbed hold of Y/n's wrist and hip, stopping the girl from being able to get on top of her. Her grip was tight to make sure she would stay.

"What does it matter to you? You're here to fuck so stop being a freak." Y/n defensively let out as Jennie had gotten oddly close to her and she didn't like it. She didn't like the girl asking her all these questions or even talking to her too much. They were supposed to fuck and then part ways. It had taken an even more wrong turn than cheating somewhere along the way with how their relationship looked like.

She let go of her wrist and grabbed hold of her dick. "I will fuck you." She sneered as she guided her tip to the sopping hole. Y/n's breath hitched as a cry left her lips and not in pleasure when the girl forcefully pushed her down fully on her length. She grasped onto Jennie's shoulders, her heart speeding up at the pain that had shot up through her whole spine. "Jen–" Her words were cut short, getting caught in her throat as Jennie planted her feet down and started to pound into her. Her lip was between her teeth, her eyes trained on their heat, watching how her cock disappeared into the girl whose pussy was grasping her inside.

"Fuck, you fucking cunt." Y/n whined, the pain slowly subsided but it didn't change the fact that Jennie had been way harsher than she was ready for without letting her adjust to the stretch. Her walls were throbbing around the cock that stretched her out in a way that turned into pleasure. The way the curved shaft caressed her g-spot made her stomach tighten, feeling Jennie deep inside her as each thrust filled her to the brim and made her clench to get as much as possible.

"You don't want to take my cum? I will fuck you so good you will be begging for me to knock you up. Fucking whore, acting all superior, I will fuck you into place like the slut that you are." Jennie rambled on, grunting with each thrust as Y/n wrapped her arms around her shoulders, unable to keep up with how sudden it all was. It was safe to say that she was angry and to Y/n that meant being fucked silly.

"I hate you so much."

"Yet you take my dick like you don't." Jennie groaned, the girl on top of her moaning right by her ear and she reached her hands down to her ass, gripping firmly. She was filling her to the hilt, with each downstroke she thrust up, Y/n's ass slapping against her thighs and her nails digging into the sides of her neck. The girl tried her best to meet the rough thrusts, her thighs tensing up and gasps fell from her lips.

Jennie had no clue what it was, but she forgot her self-control around the girl. Not only because she was hot, but because she gave her every reason to not have any control over her anger when she liked to treat her like dirt under her shoes. However, Jennie did control it because the girl would most likely be crying from pain right now and not pleasure. She was just giving back the same type of attitude by fucking her like a whore.

Her cock hit the right spots, reaching deep inside her and managing to caress her g-spot the entire time she was pounding into her. Jennie's breaths grew heavy, Y/n's body warm in her hold as she watched the perfect curves of her slim figure. Her eyes fell on the chest, the tits that were perfect to fit in her hands bounced and Jennie leaned in. Her teeth nipped at the skin, sucking the hard nipples into her mouth to play with the piercings and tug on them, it made Y/n moan and gasp right into her ear. The pleasure increased and her clit throbbed while her stomach tensed up.

"Wanna come." Y/n moaned out, wanting nothing more than to orgasm once again.

Jennie pulled away from the chest that was glistening with her spit, the hard buds left red and slightly swollen from how she abused them with her mouth. "Only if I let you." The room filled with the sounds of their skin slapping against each other. Y/n's moans and gasps bounced off the walls just like Jennie's moans and grunts. She could feel the brunette's cock deep in her as her walls clenched with each of the harsh thrusts that made her breathless. Jennie reached her hand behind Y/n's head and gripped her hair, forcing her away and making her look at her as the girl was hiding in her neck.

"You need so much cock to satisfy you that you go behind your boyfriend's back." She reminded her, deciding to trample on the girl because she had been getting on her nerves since she entered the apartment. She groaned, Y/n's nails digging into the sides of her neck as she continued to roll her hips, bouncing up and down on her length yet Jennie had all the control as she continued to piston in and out of her.

Despite how whiny she felt and needy for an orgasm, her eyes barely staying open, she was getting pissed off by Jennie's words. "Shut the fuck up, you're sounding obsessed again." Y/n too knew how to trample the girl whose cock was rearranging her insides into a mess. The vixen knew that she was cheating, but she didn't want to be reminded of it, she didn't want to think of it. She knew that she had no right because it was a choice, but she still felt ashamed and guilty every single day. It didn't seem to stop her because the second she saw Jennie it was the same all over again.

Jennie stopped, Y/n still moving her hips although not for long when Jennie grabbed hold of her waist. "Fuck–" Y/n winced at the painful grip that would leave bruises. She wanted to be pissed but she had no time when Jennie pushed her onto her back before then forcing her onto her stomach. The girl barely managed to put up a fight from how quickly Jennie handled her.

"You're hurting me, you perverted jagoff." She complained and tried to struggle at the grip that Jennie had on her wrists, pinning them down above her head as she lay pressed into the mattress.

Jennie looked down, pinning both hands with her one. She looked down at the girl whose thighs she was straddling, her cock resting against her ass cheek. Y/n's back arched and the struggling did nothing, but only turned Jennie on more to know that she had all the control. It was tempting to just remove the condom since Y/n wouldn't be able to do anything about it or even notice at first–she refrained because she didn't want to get thrown out. She slowly rubbed her hard-on against her plump ass– "Don't call me obsessed with a fucking wimp."

"Ahh!" Y/n buried her face in the duvet, completely trapped under Jennie whose palm landed right against her ass cheek. It stung, the pain prickling on the skin as she heaved to try and distract herself from the pain. Jennie surely knew how to slap. It was another try to wiggle out from under her to get spared, all she felt was Jennie's cock rubbing against her ass.

"Stop acting it." She mumbled into the sheets, eyes closed as she panted through her mouth before biting down and whining, eyes shut tightly at how the woman's palm collided with her ass again.

Jennie gripped the flesh, soothing over the hot skin as she kneaded the girl's ass in her hand. "You think I care about him? If I did, I wouldn't be fucking his girlfriend." Jennie gritted out, the anger bubbling in her chest as her grip tightened on Y/n's wrists who twisted the duvet between her fingers at how numbing it was. She gasped out a breath as the pain was still lingering and Jennie only landed another harsh slap against the same ass cheek and she choked on a cry this time, trying to squirm under the woman. Her back arched and her ass pressed into Jennie at how the pain made her twist before she relaxed when the worst part subsided and all that was left was the pulsating left after.

"Fuck– that's not it," Y/n said with heavy breaths as it wasn't that which she found Jennie looking obsessed over. The vixen snivelled as she blinked away her tears and moved her head, resting her cheek against the mattress as she looked at Jennie over her shoulder. The hand was now caressing the reddening spot.

She hummed, urging Y/n to say it as she removed her hand from her ass and grabbed the base of her dick that was throbbing as she positioned herself straddling the girl's thighs and pushed her tip between her legs, finding the aching hole. She only pushed her tip in, the younger girl already whimpering as the position made her a much tighter fit. The walls sucked her tip into a chokehold of a grip, making Jennie suck air through her teeth at how good the warm and tight cunt felt.

"You're obsessed with his position, with the fact that he isn't the one on the side but you and that's what you will always be."

Jennie bit down on her tongue, running her palm along the ridges of the slim girl's spine as she lowered herself, propping herself up on her forearms, still holding her hands pinned down with hers. She didn't want the girl to have any control whatsoever, all she wanted for Y/n to be able and use was her mouth. They came face to face and stared each other in the eye, the lust was strong, and it was fueling the whole room. They knew what they were doing and what it meant, what it was supposed to mean at least.

"Don't act like you don't want me." Her tone was husky and she caught the whimper that was about to leave Y/n's mouth when she pushed herself inside the girl in one fluid motion. Y/n pulled away rather quickly as the moans started to spill when Jennie moved back out before slamming her cock back inside the sweltering heat. Her pelvis collided with Y/n's ass with each deep thrust, keeping it up as she continued to pull out, leaving her tip in and slamming it all back in. The vixen's lighter body getting fucked into the mattress.

"I fucking own you in the bedroom, I own you even when you fuck him because you think about me when you do." Her tone was gruff as she spoke in a hushed tone right into Y/n's ear who shivered at the air that brushed her sensitive ears. She grunted, going rougher and Y/n's moans got louder, unable to keep the sounds back when Jennie was pounding her full length into her tight hole. She clenched around her hard dick even more, it was followed by a muffled whimper from Jennie whose body was almost fully pressed against Y/n's back, their legs tangled together.

Each heaving breath mixing into the sounds, the two lost in their sins as the place they were in was the only place that brought them away from everything else. There was no guilt, no shame, no hesitation, or stress, not in their city of sins because it was just them. The two were addicted to these feelings and each other in ways that were unhealthy. There were no questions asked or anyone to judge. It was what made it possible to get lost in pleasure.

"Fuck, Y/n, fuck, I'm gonna make you cum so hard baby, I will fuck you so good the whole night. You're gonna take me so good like you always do, my favourite slut." Jennie mumbled, her mind getting lost as she kissed the girl's shoulder before licking a long stripe and biting down to pull at the thin skin. Her dick throbbed inside the pulsating walls that were warm and welcoming even if it got painful at times. The girl's cunt clasped around her with each thrust, having her cock in a choke hold as each time made Jennie moan right into her ear.

"You make me feel so good." Y/n let out a choked moan, her hips pushing into Jennie as her body turned into a heat that coursed through every nerve and vein. A sheen of sweat covered their bodies that pressed against each other with their heat conjoined. "Who else fucks your slutty pussy this good, hmm? Who else can get you like this?" She rasped, biting along her shoulder and up to her ear that she pulled at with her lips before kissing. Her hips were ruthless as she kept up the rough thrust that made her pant for air.

"Just you, only you can fuck me this good–your dick is the only dick that can fill me up this good."

Jennie's breathing got deeper and heavier, her heart beating harder as her balls tightened, being close to releasing another load. "Your pussy is so good, my favourite, I just wanna empty my balls into you 'cause you take me so well. You deserve all of my cum, baby." Y/n's moans were falling breathless after Jennie's tip had been abusing her g-spot the whole time. Jennie let go of her wrists. Y/n grasped at the sheets and Jennie moved her hand down and grabbed her hip. She lifted them slightly before letting her hand run down between Y/n's thighs.

"Jennie– Oh, I'm gonna–"

"Show me how good you feel." Jennie urged, her fingers circling the girl's clit in a motion that made her whole body tense.

She watched the girl whose mouth was agape, eyes barely open and all she could see were the whites when Y/n's body spasmed more into her. The orgasm washed over her hard, black and white filling her vision as high-pitched moans spilled through her plump and wet lips without a pause, making her run out of breath at the end. It made her whole body weak and dizzy, whining at how the fingers were still playing with her clit.

"I'm so close, I'm gonna cum so much." Jennie groaned out through the deep breaths and Y/n managed to find her words.

"On me. Please, Jennie." She pleaded, wanting Jennie to paint her with her thick and hot cum. It made her hips stutter and her stomach flexed, edging herself because of the request. She didn't waste time as she grabbed the base of her length and pulled out, getting off her thighs.

"Get the fuck up, I'm not gonna hold it for you." She gritted out, helping Y/n with one hand while removing the condom with the other. Her tip was swollen, throbbing and begging for a release, her balls having plenty for the vixen. Y/n got turned onto her back and Jennie stood on her knees beside her, the girl expectantly looking up at her. Eyes falling to the thick cock, a long vein running on the underside, her tip bright red and mushroom-shaped and her balls big and heavy.

Jennie jerked at her dick, staring the girl down, getting more turned on by how submissive she was being, how she had all the control, how she was begging for her. The power that she held over someone like Y/n. She looked at her perky breast, nipples hard and the silver jewellery pierced through them. Her eyes drowned in the perfect body laid out for her, how hot and sexy the girl was until her eyes landed back on her face, those sharp siren-like eyes, dark brown locks, luscious lips, flawless skin, every little feature.

It made Jennie raise her hand to her mouth and bite down on her fist to muffle the whimpers when her balls tightened and the cum started to shoot out of her tip. Her back arched as she bucked her hips into her hand, doing her best to control where it was going, but it seemed impossible at how intense the orgasm was this time compared to when she came in her pants. Her whimpering and moaning muffled and Y/n felt the warm and creamy release splattering onto her skin.

She didn't want the girl mocking her for it once again because she knew how mean Y/n was.

She heaved, breaths shaky as she managed to open her eyes which closed at some point. She did one last stroke and this time the cum just leaked out of her tip, dripping down onto the sheets as her dick started to go limp.

"Fuck, you look hot." She breathed out and Y/n glanced down at her chest which was covered in the fluid and she felt some on her face.

"Give me my phone." Y/n requested, holding her hand out as she lay in the same position, not having the energy to move at the moment. Jennie slumped down and reached over to the nightstand, taking the girl's phone before handing it to her, not realising how she obeyed each request no matter the girl's tone.

"Will you take a picture and send it to me?" She asked with a hopeful tone as she knew that she would be able to get off to the picture every single day for at least a week before asking for a new one. Y/n scoffed at the request.

"No, are you dumb?" She asked and Jennie frowned.

"Why not, you've sent pictures before?"

"Cause I am naked." She had sent the girl pictures, but never any nudes and never showed her face in them aside from a glimpse of her lips. Jennie grumbled to herself, trying to get a mental picture of the masterpieces she created on the girl. Y/n still opened her camera to see where it all was.

"You fucking cunt, you came in my hair." She complained and Jennie groaned when she got kicked in the thigh. Y/n turned her phone off and threw it to the side before she sat up, facing Jennie. She looked over her, the woman almost lying down as she sat leaning against the headboard. A frown and her lips puckered at the treatment. Her dick rested against her thigh and it wouldn't be long until it would be all ready for Y/n to take again. "Don't make that face until you've had cum in your hair." Y/n hissed and sucked air through her teeth.

"Where're you going?" Jennie asked when Y/n got up from the bed.

"Shower."

"I'm coming too–Wait, have you–" Jennie paused and sat up at the edge of the bed, Y/n looked back at the woman who sighed.

"Are you hungry?" Y/n raised her eyebrows at that and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess, I haven't eaten today." She replied. She hadn't had time to eat as her fridge was empty and she didn't have money for takeout or the time to buy any groceries. It was always Asher who did these things since the girl got too busy, but things got in the way after they had another fight and he never managed to buy anything before needing to leave for the weekend.

She did fight with him, but she fought even more with Jennie who was the side thing. It made little sense, but it stayed.

"Why not?" Jennie asked, wondering how the girl was even standing up as it was close to 8 p.m. and she had some pretty intense sex a second ago. Jennie's legs felt like jelly and she sat at the bed, watching Y/n's naked figure.

"Haven't had time and my fridge is empty and I am too broke to order," Y/n answered while opening the closet door and taking out new sweats and tee. She stopped for a second and remembered the pair of sweats Jennie had forgotten after having spare clothes with her. She reached for the pair of grey sweats she had stuffed behind the rest of her bottoms. "Why do you care so much?" She asked with a sigh and turned back around, closing the door after her.

"I feel like it is a normal thing to care about people." Y/n only hummed and threw the sweats to Jennie before she headed for the door to get to the bathroom. Jennie quickly got up to not get locked out of the bathroom for taking too long once again, taking her phone and shirt with her. "Can I order food then?" She questioned and she usually left right after, but that hadn't been the case with Y/n for the past months. Never did she spare the women a second glance, she viewed them as her sex toys she threw away after using once, but Y/n was a doll she wanted to last a bit longer so she treated her well.

Whatever treating someone well was in Jennie's world.

"Do whatever you want."

"Well, I mean can I order food for us both?" She rephrased her question for the girl. Following Y/n who walked into the bathroom which was right beside the bedroom from the side where the front door was.

"How long do you plan on staying? Friends are coming tomorrow at around 4," Y/n asked instead.

"I could leave before that? Or do you not want me to stay the night?" She confusedly asked and stepped inside the bathroom that wasn't too big with just a simple glass shower in the corner, a sink with a mirror and the toilet. At this point, she had fucked the girl on probably every surface in the apartment. She closed the door before she tossed the clothes onto the towel rack and Y/n started the shower.

"I was supposed to be studying."

"You can do that."

"Without anyone trying to stuff their dick inside me like a horny teenager." Jennie pursed her lips at that and ran a hand through her slightly tousled hair. She stepped into the shower where Y/n already was, closing the glass door and getting under the steaming water that was pouring down on them. "What if I don't? Or you could study tomorrow or any other day." She tried since she wanted to stay as long as possible since there was no telling when she would get to be with Y/n again. She wanted to get as much sex as possible in case the same problem occurred with another girl again. It could take anything from a day to a week. Jennie's arm would get sore.

"Fine."

"Good, I already ordered the food." She mumbled as she was starving after the sex with the succubus of a girl. Y/n rolled her eyes and Jennie grabbed hold of her hips, turning her around so she would face her. She pulled her closer and captured her wet lips with her own, the girl humming as she parted her lips for Jennie.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @xszn @badasgff @badaspookie @hwm1hyun / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 2 months

Text

-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲-

1.8

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For a moment, Y/n didn't want to wake up. She wanted to end her night once and for all, but the reality had dawned upon her and she couldn't ignore what had happened anymore. There were lines she was fine with being crossed, but certain weren't worth it anymore no matter how good Jennie made her feel or how she felt for the woman. It would be too self-degrading because it had already been all this time.

It hurt to think about it, but every other moment with Jennie hurt twice as much and it no longer was worth tearing herself into small pieces just to be with the woman. Had it ever been worth it? Y/n couldn’t lie to herself and say no because she could see past the facade of the horrible person that Jennie was, but it tore at her to know that she wouldn’t be the one to stay and see the facade crack and let Jennie come out.

Y/n slowly sat up in the bed, she had never been to Jennie's place before and she wasn't going to come back. There was no home to go to, she was already aching and couldn’t ache more just to force something without a base to be her home when it wasn’t stable enough to be one.

She looked down at the woman who hadn't changed and was lying in her lap, hugging her waist. The white tee was stained with blood that was the vixen's. She could feel the way her lower lip pulsated and she gently ran her fingers over it. It made her stomach drop because she never wanted Jennie to take it so far and leave her with so many choices, but only one right one.

It twisted and twisted until there was nothing more left to twist and Y/n was left to feel sick at the emotions that had been twisted and poured over her body. It made her shaky, the sadness, the anger, the regret, the longing already happening, the despair of knowing that she wasn’t enough to break those walls and see the other part of Jennie that seemed dead by now.

She grabbed hold of Jennie's arms and gently unwrapped them from around her, the black tee and sweat shorts loose on her as she had been changed. Jennie didn't want to let go as she instantly wrapped her arms around Y/n again the second the contact disappeared. Heat ran across the older woman's body at the anxiety that shot through her and woke her up in an instant.

She had never experienced such fear, such fear of losing the one thing she couldn’t lose because she had never had something she couldn’t lose. Jennie could have it all because she had the money, but she knew that she would never be able to get another Y/n. No one would ever replace Y/n.

She wanted to take responsibility for what she did–even if she mixed it all up in her head.

"No, no, where are you going?" Jennie tried to grasp at Y/n, her voice quivering awake as she forced her eyes open. The sleep she had gotten didn't help her at all. Her brain felt like mush, her body was trembling from exhaustion, it was trembling from fear and overwhelming emotions she hadn’t felt in years.

"You can't leave me, Y/n." She added and got on her knees. Jennie's eyes which were laced with regret, guilt, and despair looked into Y/n's wide eyes as the girl looked conflicted, but at the same time sure of what had to be done. It made her chest heave as she had never needed to beg someone to stay, if anything she had always made them leave and she did once again, but not intentionally. She couldn’t have her leave.

Y/n was Jennie’s lifeline, she was the only thing keeping her grounded and alive, and she couldn’t lose that. Jennie had missed feeling things despite doing her best to be numb, but Y/n was different. The vixen made her want to feel everything because it felt good no matter how much it hurt after. This was different, she wanted to feel everything but the despair of not being able to keep someone who was leaving.

"Please." It was a plea and she tried to reach out for Y/n, to brush her hair away like she always did, to cup her face and kiss her until it would all go away and be fine. To reel her back in like she always did and make her stay by coaxing her and brushing off all her mistakes by showering her with love. Jennie was ready to go out of her way this time, to do more and better than all the other times, to even keep her promises if it meant that Y/n stayed.

All those gestures that always made Y/n melt into her only made her blanch away from her hold before she could even touch her skin.

"You slapped me, you busted my lip–You put your hands on me, Jennie. I'm not staying."

The words were shattering Jennie's world. The words were shattering of what was left of it, it was crushing her spirit and her barely beating heart. The words brewed hatred within Jennie, the one that made her fight for numbness because she couldn’t live with the hatred she held for herself.

It broke Jennie, she felt hopeless, she felt like she had fallen down a hole that she would never get out of and she would beat herself up in that hole until her last breath because she served no other purpose in a dark hole. It made her want to scream and cry, it made her want to punch until her knuckles were bleeding and fractured. It hurt, but it wouldn’t hurt as much as watching her last resort walking out, her only lifebuoy, the only ladder that could have taken her out of that hole. There would no longer be any tiny light shining down and she would be drowning in darkness that would fill the hole to the brim.

She sharply inhaled as Y/n looked at her with glossed-over eyes that held pity. She felt bad for Jennie because she didn't want to leave her, but she couldn't stay this time. It hurt even more to see Jennie tear up. She had hoped for things she never should have hoped for, but Jennie had been worth it. Those small cracks had made it worth it, the times she had seen the good. It burned her lungs with each breath as she thought that what she could have helped didn’t want her help at all, but only wanted to drag Y/n down with her.

"I– I know, but Y/n please listen to me. I didn't mean for it to happen."

The words that left Jennie only made it easier for Y/n to remove the duvet from her. The excuse wouldn't suffice and neither would an apology, but an apology would at least make it somewhat better. It wouldn't be an excuse to hurt her. This time Y/n couldn’t listen to Jennie’s excuses because nothing was a good enough excuse for this.

"How the fuck do you slap someone on accident." Y/n hissed in disbelief and got out of bed. The sun had found its way to the high ceiling windows of the bedroom, lighting up the white and modern-styled room as the woman never turned on the blinds. It shone light, but it did nothing to warm up the cold in the room as it was all freezing for Y/n. All that she had felt was getting cold as she couldn’t look at Jennie the same after she had hurt her this way and was trying to excuse it now.

"I got angry and I have a hard time controlling it!" Jennie exclaimed in despair as she got off the bed and quickly made it over to block the girl's way. She grabbed hold of her arms so she wouldn't walk, but Y/n slithered out of her hold and stepped back. Jennie's face fell into more despair at the way the girl wasn't allowing her to touch her. The way she walked away was as if she knew Jennie for her facade and had lost hope for the true her.

She knew Jennie too well.

She knew her lies.

She let them all pass as Jennie put them away for her.

"So you punch people."

"Please, Y/n, I am trying to work on it." She called out after the girl who made it past her after pushing her aside. Jennie couldn't reside in anger as she felt disgusted by herself after she had fully sobered up. Her body was giving out on her, she wasn't handling it at all. For the first time, something was fully out of her control as only Y/n could decide if she would forgive or stay or if she would leave. Jennie knew that she couldn’t force her no matter how much she would try and even if she forced her it would never be the same. She wanted Y/n to stay by choice as that would be worth more than her fortune.

It was a lie though; Jennie had never done anything to work on it. She's only enhanced it by doing things that made it worse by drinking and consuming illicit substances. It wasn’t like she did it by choice, she wished that she had the choice not to, but Jennie never had a good enough reason until now to try and change it.

Jennie fumbled for the right words, her brain tired and trying to get something together as she quickly walked after Y/n who tried to get her stuff. She picked up her jacket and the purse, not caring about the rest, but about leaving Jennie. She didn't want the older woman to make a bigger fool of herself. Y/n wanted to spare Jennie that. She still held sympathy for her. The vixen also knew that she would never be able to handle seeing Jennie break down in front of her for the first time the same way she had done multiple times.

Maybe it was selfish because despite all the bad Jennie had always been there for her even at her worst. It didn’t matter if she had been the cause of some of those moments, she still made sure to be there for her. Y/n couldn’t do that. This time she would be the selfish one.

"I grew up with an abusive father and they got divorced, but I was still staying with him now and then. He– He had been violent with me and my mum until I finally managed to get away by making my own money. I truly do not want to be him. I promise you. It just stuck and I've always hated this part of me."

Jennie managed to scramble for another story that wasn't hers to tell as none of it was true. Neither of her divorced parents was abusive, but the opposite as her mother had always loved her while she had always been an out-of-control fire–she didn’t know her father enough to judge the man aside from the fact that he had never tried to be present in her life. It wasn’t like she cared for the most part because she had never tried to mend it either.

Y/n reached down for the jacket and got pulled up by Jennie who took hold of her shoulder to make her look at her. Every little thing she did was laced with desperation and she couldn’t care about how pathetic it made her look. Jennie was grieving the loss of someone who was standing right in front of her. She didn't want Y/n to go. She knew the girl wouldn't come back.

Y/n hated goodbyes.

She finally had a reason to leave it all behind though.

At least Jennie wasn't the one leaving her which had been her biggest fear.

"Yet you're just like him, Jennie and you are putting women through the same thing your father put your mother through and live with that fact. You are 29 and you still haven't figured it out." Y/n spat out in repudiation because she couldn't understand what Jennie tried to come to by saying these things. They weren't making her stay, they only made her want to leave much quicker as she got out of the grip.

"I'm not staying around to earn more bruises because you can't control yourself." Y/n did a once over at Jennie as her tone withered and she frowned at the woman she had to leave behind. It was much harder than what she was making it look like. Each step felt like walking on glass and she wanted to jump into Jennie’s arms and listen to the billionaire tell her how everything would be good and all the hurt would pass. Y/n couldn’t do it though and continued to push through the glass-filled path.

"Listen to what I’m telling you!"

She called for the girl who headed for the door. The lump grew with each step that the vixen took and she watched her being closer and closer to leaving her. Jennie didn't feel heard, it felt like Y/n was fully dismissing her. Dismissing her excuses and lies that she spews out just for the girl and no one else. Jennie was going out of her way and it was doing nothing this time.

There was so much that she wanted to tell Y/n, to spill everything to her, to scream until her throat was bleeding just to get rid of all her burdens, to just at last for once cry in someone else’s arms. It was all for nothing because she was too scared of it. Jennie was too scared of opening up and telling Y/n the truth about all her self-hatred, all her burdens, all her pain and why she was the way she was.

"I don't control it. I don't control it. So why should I be punished for it? Understand me!" Jennie's anguish was clear in her words that she pushed past the ice-cold lump in her throat that wasn't giving her any mercy. She couldn’t push out at least half of the truth and she was losing someone because of it.

"And why should I be the one suffering because you can't control yourself!?"

She opened the bedroom door, seeing the stairs that led down to the first floor. There was so little yet so much left and she would have Jennie out of her life. It felt impossible though as she felt the tug in her heart the closer she got, the one that was tied to Jennie who kept pulling and trying to reel her back in.

"Y/n, please no, just wait," if only the girl could wait for a bit more, Jennie would be able to come up with better lies. She would be able to paint her a beautiful world with her lies, she just needed a moment. The lies that would make her stay. Jennie couldn’t figure out what the truth would make her do, but no matter what it felt like Y/n had made up her mind.

She just needed Y/n to wait.

Her tears fell as her nose prickled, forlorn washing over her as she hurried after Y/n who was walking away. Why couldn't she just wait? It pained Jennie, the tears stung more than any other tears she had shed in a while. They hurt more than the thoughts of tomorrow, the thoughts of her empty future that she had now sealed if Y/n left. Her breathing got heavier at the thought of what her life was, what she was, and what she would be until her last breath. She wanted to die at the doom she felt.

She had taken Y/n for granted. The only person who stayed no matter how many times Jennie messed up was now leaving because Jennie thought there was no limit so she took everything only to be left with nothing. She had taken everything after not getting anything for so long, none of these feelings and it all backfired. Her greediness for care and love kicked her to the curb as she had abused it all because no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t lose her old ways.

Jennie only had one last resort. One last try to make the girl stay as she spilled out some of the truth for the first time today.

"I love you and I truly didn't mean to hurt you. I feel terrible please believe me–" Jennie shrilled, a sob falling from her lips and she knew she had no right to cry or say that she loved Y/n after what she had done to her, after all the things she had put her through. Breaking Y/n into pieces hadn’t made her stay after she broke them beyond repair. She had lost whatever of Y/n’s trust she ever had. Although, Jennie couldn’t deny this truth for much longer. It wasn’t going away even when she was numb. "I love and care about you." She cried for the girl.

It had all been lies before, but she knew that this time it was the truth, she loved Y/n.

Jennie stopped at the girl who turned to her. Their eyes watering, spilling emotions, trying to get rid of the pain but it felt impossible to not hurt in a moment like this one.

"You love me? You dare to say that you fucking love me after hurting me? If you fucking loved me you wouldn't have raised your hand at me to begin with. You would've fucking controlled yourself and wouldn't have slapped me and busted my lip."

The woman could only listen to the way Y/n took out her anger at her. The anger and disbelief at the words she had heard from Jennie, the words that made it harder to leave. Harder to leave without saying something first. The only thing they caused Y/n was for the sadness, the pity, the regret and everything else to disappear. The only thing she could feel for Jennie now was immense anger for saying something that made everything much more difficult.

Jennie couldn't feel any anger or like she was being disrespected when the girl's palms collided with her chest as Y/n shoved at her. It made Jennie take small steps with each impact as she couldn't even look Y/n in the eyes at the shame she felt and stared at the hands that kept colliding with her. They didn't hurt her, Y/n had no real strength, and she couldn't find the strength in herself to hurt Jennie.

It made Jennie only realise more how much of a precious soul she had hurt and ruined. They would all have tried to hurt Jennie for this, they would throw things at her, scream at her and the bruises would form and Jennie would cause them even bigger bruises. Although it never really hurt. Yet Y/n’s weak punches didn’t hurt, but the words drilled into her skin, ripping her flesh and causing scars to drape over her skin.

She wished Y/n had never met her so neither of them would have to go through this, especially Y/n. Jennie felt guilty.

"You know what? Do what you want. Degrade me, scream and yell at me, break shit around me or punch a wall, treat me like shit in every way possible, but you fucking hurt me physically, that's a fucking line I am not willing to stay at after it's been crossed even if you love me."

The words would always linger longer than the impact of her shoves. The words would always hurt more than any bruises. Bruises disappeared, words were life long and Jennie would forever remember that Y/n despised her and everything else she would spit at her. All the things that Jennie deserved. It was Y/n’s time to break her, but she wouldn’t put her back together, she would leave her behind the way she deserved to be left broken and alone.

"You don't fucking love me. You just love control and when you don't have it, you fucking ruin everything around you even the people!"

Y/n couldn't stop herself from crying as they lost something they never had to begin with. She hated Jennie for everything she had done, the pain felt unbearable at the moment as she clenched her jaw to stop her sobs.

"I could never be with someone like you." She shoved the woman one last time who broke down fully. That was the final push for Jennie, to hear that she never would have had a chance with Y/n.

The homes they had found in each other had been destroyed before they even stepped inside.

Y/n walked down the stairs, ignoring the sounds of things breaking as there was nothing else to stay behind for. Whatever Jennie did now wouldn't matter to her as she slipped on a pair of slippers that lay by the door while taking out her phone. Y/n stepped out into the L.A. sun, the wound on her lip stinging from the heat that hit it and she called her only sanctuary while crying.

"Hello?"

"I need you to pick me up, please, I will send you the address."

"Of course, I'm driving right now."

She hung up as she walked along the long driveway of the mansion while sending her location. She received a confirmation that it would be five minutes as they were nearby.

Y/n tried to calm down, to not sob or cry harder as she wasn't supposed to cry over someone like Jennie. Jennie wasn't worth her tears, yet Jennie was able to make her heart turn into withering flowers that turned black with its petals crumbling into nothing more than dust. The girl was unsure if she regretted meeting Jennie at all or if she was happy that she had met the woman. Every thought was about Jennie when she stopped right by the tall black gates and leaned against the pedestrian gate as she could hear people right outside.

She took deep breaths, already working on forgetting the woman who made her life better and simultaneously ruined it. She tried to forget all those highs and the lows that Jennie held her through even if she caused them. It made Y/n bite down on the side of her hand to stop the sobs that wanted to leave her mouth. It hurt that Jennie had done so much good, but also so much bad, that she was possibly a good person under all the hurt she carried and caused.

Everything seemed to be a reminder of her.

Although Y/n couldn't stay despite loving the pain and wanting to drown in all the good she brought her. She had learned to love the pain and thought she would never want to live without it, but this was too much even for her.

She looked at her phone which went off after a while to see that the car was waiting.

The gate buzzed as she pressed the button that was on the inside and she pushed down the handle and opened the door. Whatever was going on had nothing to do with Y/n who tried to cover her face after realising that photos were being taken–lost in a daze of emotions–as she walked past the paparazzi. She picked up her pace on the last few feet to the car and quickly opened the door before getting inside, still holding the leather jacket up until the car started to move.

"Jennie?"

"Yes." It was a void whisper.

"I thought it was once and you blocked her after."

She shook her head while wiping at her tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

And so Y/n went on, telling Lisa everything that had been happening behind everyone's backs for the past five months. At last, letting all her burdens show as she unpacked the heavy bag she had been dragging along with her. She couldn’t carry it all by herself anymore.

[Four months ago]

Y/n couldn't bring herself to face Asher the day after.

The comedown and hungover were only making it worse.

She found herself in Lisa's apartment, bringing all her guilt, shame, and pain with her as she was crying in her best friend's arms. The tears didn't want to stop and she couldn't stop thinking about her actions.

The way it came so easily, how she cheated without a second thought and it was killing her that she had hurt someone who she loved so much. She loved him so much and couldn't comprehend what still made it possible to cheat without any second thoughts during the moment.

"What happened?" Lisa asked as the girl had come in the morning still in her pyjamas while looking like she had just lost someone dear to her. It was exactly what it felt like. Her mistake felt like she had lost someone dear to her. She had lost a part of herself when she chose to be selfish and relish in pleasure from lust instead of faithfulness from love.

"I– I cheated on Ash." She barely managed to say through her sobs and the words brought her through even more spreading pain. It was like being dragged through a road filled with broken glass and needles.

"When? Y/n, please calm down." She knew that it was wrong, but it was her best friend and she'd do anything for the girl. She would even keep her biggest and dirtiest secrets even if she was friends with her boyfriend too. Lisa could never hurt the girl, so she settled on hurting the man because she had known Y/n all her life.

"Last night–" She clutched onto Lisa's shirt, hating herself for crying when she had no right to cry for what she did. The vixen knew that she had sinned and deserved no solace for these mistakes, the acts of letting herself get swallowed by the sin of lust. "I was drunk and high on ecstasy and Jennie was there and...it happened and then it was over and I knew what I had done."

Lisa couldn't say anything, it wasn't her relationship, but Y/n's. She instead provided her with a place to cry in as she held Y/n and let her confess her sins while she listened, but she couldn't give her the forgiveness that she wanted. Only Asher could give her that.

"Are you going to tell him?" Y/n asked at last as she pulled away. Lisa held onto her shoulder, looking into the red and tear-filled siren eyes of her friend. "Only if you want me to, Y/n." She would only do what Y/n needed her help with.

"Keep it a secret." She mumbled and looked down at the shame she felt of not having the guts to tell the truth while having the guts to cheat. She didn't have the guts to earn up to her mistakes all while being able to do them.

"Any day. I'm your best friend, always."

[Present]

"Don't touch me," Jennie finally snapped as she couldn't do it, her body was trembling as the tears came right back to her eyes.

She hadn't left the gated mansion in a week and hadn't let anyone in unless she had called for them. The place hadn't been cleaned and the things she had thrashed to take out her regrets, anger, and frustrations were still in the way of walking.

Even if she wanted to leave, she couldn't bring herself to do it because of how her body was faltering with every step she took and how she was breaking with each thought of the girl. Paparazzi were swarming outside the gates–security hired at the gates–after the woman she had seen in Las Vegas had come forth with allegations of aggravated assault.

Jennie was drowning in the misery that she had caused herself.

Only time could tell who more would come forth now that one person had.

Her team was working full-time while Jennie was fighting herself over Y/n.

She always got out of these things, but now her ego had died when the girl had left her and it no longer mattered how much or little power she had. That power no longer felt good, it no longer mattered how much she had because it suddenly felt like nothing without Y/n right there.

She shoved the woman on her knees in front of her away by her head when she didn't stop undoing her jeans. The blonde woman fell back at the force with a wince.

"What're you doing?"

Y/n hadn't been the reason why anything ended.

She knew that it was all her fault from the start, from the second they met.

Her mind and system were too big of a mess to think about sex when all she could think of was Y/n and the pain she caused the girl and the pain she was feeling herself. The pain she couldn't numb no matter how much she had drunk, smoked, or inhaled, if not swallowed. It all only drained her more and she spent her evenings throwing up the toxins that were killing her.

Maybe that was the point, to just go until she would drop dead because everything else was coming back after Y/n left and made Jennie truly realise where she was in her life. The hellhole she had fixed herself with her own money.

Jennie had never gotten her heart broken.

She couldn't tell if this was it or not, but it felt like the end of the world and as if she would die.

Or maybe she was dying because of the amount of substances in her body.

Her vision was impaired and she started to sob.

"I told you to leave me alone!" She screamed at the woman who hadn't left her alone yet. It seemed to reach her now as she took her stuff and only left the sound of the door to the bedroom slamming closed

She tried to drown it in her favourite things to forget Y/n; sex, drugs, and alcohol. It only made it worse and reminded her of Y/n. It turned out that her favourite thing was Y/n and that doing those things with the girl was what made them so good now. The vixen had ruined what she loved doing before by having her fall for her.

She whined through gritted teeth and ran her palms harshly down her face to try and get rid of these feelings. It wasn't working, nothing was and Y/n didn't seem to be coming back even if Jennie had hope. She got up on her feet, tumbling over them as she took her phone and regained balance once she stumbled onto her knees, landing on the white rug. Jennie shed more tears, unsure of what she had done to herself. Unsure of what Y/n had done to her.

Why was she ruining herself because of someone else? Because the lonely star had left her. It had never happened before, but now it did and she couldn't understand how a girl had her on her knees in her bedroom, sobbing into a rug. Jennie punched at it as her forehead pressed into the rug. The substances were getting the best of her emotions as she had no clue how to cope with all these things she'd never allowed to happen before.

Her hand went numb and her lungs burned from the screaming and crying, it made her slump down fully. She rolled over to her back, the tears running down the corners of her eyes and she looked at her phone. There wasn't a single message from the girl in a whole week and she hadn't gotten a single reply. There was no pride that was in the way, Jennie had thrown her dignity out of the window and had been begging the girl through messages, and multiple declined calls until she got blocked five days ago.

With her lip jutted out she opened her socials and went on an unofficial account because she had been blocked everywhere, not just her number.

Y/n was finishing a chapter, closing one that Jennie didn't want to close as she choked on her sobs, coughing at the spit that she choked on with each sharp inhale from the shuddering of her breaths. Despite the screen blurring every second she managed to find the girl who was gaining followers every day. Jennie knew because she was checking every day. After she left her followers went from 2k to 4k in a week. She had no clue why, but she assumed it was because Y/n got caught by paparazzi when she left and the allegations were revealed just a few hours before she left through that gate without looking back at Jennie.

She sniffled and opened the girl's stories while using her forearm to wipe at her eyes. The blur disappeared for a few seconds and she watched the girl who was living as if it never happened. It wasn't fair. It hurt Jennie even more and her gravest mistake was falling for the girl. The girl didn't have to move on because she never stopped at Jennie's pit stop. She had no clue how Y/n felt for her, she couldn't figure it out, but she knew what the vixen had told her.

She doesn't love him.

She's waiting for him to leave first.

She knows she has to leave him, but can't because she's scared.

Her heart maybe didn't belong to Jennie, but it didn't belong to him either.

Maybe she would have stayed even if she didn't love Jennie if it hadn't been for the guy.

Jennie sobbed as her stomach was twisting in longing for something she wanted to have.

Y/n had worked on her lies, she was living with them after coming up with the excuse that she was leaving the woman's house early in the morning last week because she and Lisa were friends. She and Lisa had crashed there, her friend covering every lie she told. She had stumbled into a wall when they were out and busted her lip while foundation covered the fingertips on her neck.

He believed everything she told him. He always did and would never doubt her.

The lies were eating at her and she wasn't sure what to do as she couldn't unpack it all. Instead, the box stood filled and out of sight for her boyfriend.

She didn't love him anymore, but she couldn't just get up and leave without telling him the truth, she neither could bring herself to tell Asher the truth. So she was stuck with him because she couldn't confess her sins to the only person who could forgive them or at least deserved to hear them even if he wouldn't forgive her.

Each day was spent thinking about Jennie no matter what she was doing or with who she was.

The allegations didn't make the ache any lighter aside from knowing that she got out on time. However, she felt horrible for Jennie, no matter how much she had hurt her and even laid her hands on her. She couldn't get those words out of her head, the images out of her head, the way Jennie broke down and was now going through this with the allegations. The woman had only brought it on herself, but Y/n felt pity for her either way because she had cared about Jennie.

They were portraying her as a monster with shots being fired from each side despite not knowing whether or not these allegations were true. Y/n knew her for more than what they made her to be. She knew Jennie for the good person that she was who made her feel loved and things she hadn't felt the same way with anyone else, but she also knew her for the horrible person that she was and made her feel things no one else had before.

The Jennie who broke her and fixed her because she loved and cared for Y/n.

It didn't matter as she stayed deluded and ignored those bad things because Jennie was still somehow perfect in her eyes. She didn't choose a side between the alleged and the victim though because no one except those two knew the truth. Even if Jennie had hurt her, she hoped that it wasn't true despite deep down possibly knowing what happened. Y/n didn’t want Jennie to prove her more right than she already had.

She shouldn't care, but she did because she still wished good for the woman whom she couldn't let go of or go back to. The woman who ruined her and made her dependent on her. The woman was more addicting than the drugs. She was the drug that put Y/n through the worst withdrawals.

How did she move on from someone she never had but lost?

Jennie's world was crashing, and Y/n's wasn't too far behind as the last standing pieces were burning.

It flashed before her eyes when Jennie threw the bag of coke in front of her when the phone got tossed onto the bed in front of her. Y/n's lips parted in confusion as Asher opened the door to the small wardrobe and she reached for the phone. It was yet another reminder of Jennie when she picked up the phone that was face down.

The chat between her boyfriend and the person only contained one thing and she didn't have to open the video to know what it was. Jennie only had that one video she never deleted and Y/n dropped the phone. She didn't cry at first, instead, she leaned back against the headboard and rubbed at her face–avoiding her healing lip.

She didn't say anything because she didn't deserve to speak up. Instead, she waited for Asher to cuss her out, yell at her, or somehow just react to what she had done. She was waiting for him to let it all out on her.

With a lump in her throat and undeserved tears welling in her eyes, she looked at the man taking out his clothes from the closet, throwing them onto the bed, her clothes falling onto the floor.

Asher cleared his throat. Y/n knew he wouldn't take any anger out on her, that he wouldn't cuss her out and scream at her. It made Y/n hate the man because he didn't do any of the things she deserved or wanted him to do for how she had hurt him.

He looked over at the girl whom he was heartbroken by, the one he still loved, but couldn't look at without seeing someone else. The vixen who he no longer recognized as Y/n but the star that was in the video, getting fucked in the throat on a bathroom floor wasted and high. There hadn't been a single trace of shame in the video, no guilt, no care. It was filled with euphoria, a bliss he had never seen her in until now, he hadn’t been able to cause her such euphoria. He couldn't tell what hurt more.

That this wasn't the woman he used to be connected to.

That there was no guilt, shame, regret, or care in the video.

Or that she had cheated on her.

Or maybe it was that she looked the happiest with someone else.

She wiped her tears before they could fall.

Jennie just kept ruining her life with every step she tried to take away from her–although she knew this was all her fault because she cheated. She wasn't letting Y/n go. The young girl was aware that he would have to get to know the truth at some point or that it would come out some way, but Jennie never had any right to meddle in her relationship. She never had the right to be the one to break the news to Asher, but she did because she was just as selfish as Y/n was.

"Do you even slightly regret it, Y/n?" His voice cracked and it swallowed the girl who looked down at her hands unable to face reality. How was she supposed to look him in the eye?

At some point, she stopped regretting things that felt good.

"I did at first, but it stopped after a while."

He scoffed to himself at how blind he had been by holding onto the girl she was before this, by staying blind and oblivious about how Y/n had changed despite it being obvious. Because he saw her change but pretended. He ignored all the signs and never wanted the truth. He would have been fine not knowing. Asher moved over to the bed and sat down at the edge beside the pile of his clothes as he stared at the floor. It was cracking, the floor beneath him felt like thin ice that cracked away with his trust.

"A while is how long exactly, Y/n?"

"Almost five months."

"It started when and with whom?"

"It's only been Jennie. I went to the party with her and it happened there for the first time."

He couldn't determine whether it was worse that it was just one person for almost five months instead of different people. It only meant that there was a reason for why she stuck to one person. Why did she keep running back to that one person? If she had run there for long enough everything had possibly shifted.

He looked back at the girl whose teary eyes were staring into his. Was she even in love with him still? Was she in love with the woman she had been seeing for the past five months? Was that why she kept running to no one else but Jennie? Hadn't he been enough and Jennie had been there to fill in and be enough for Y/n?

He didn't want to acknowledge the new person who he sat with though. He didn't want to acknowledge the rest of the problems, the drugs, alcohol and parties he had been ignoring while watching the girl ruin herself. He was stuck on the old Y/n and always would be.

"Do you love her?"

Asher's question made it feel like all oxygen disappeared in the world, being thrown into the universe and ultimately getting killed because she couldn't survive outside the layers of the earth. Jennie had become her world in five months and she had forgotten about Asher and her old self.

"It's complicated."

He looked away at that because those words hurt more than the video itself.

Y/n watched as he buried his face in his palms, it was someone who had been important to her, someone she had cared about–someone who she used to love. It broke her to know that she had managed to hurt someone this much. With everything telling her not to do it, she still crawled over the bed and to the guy. The hesitance made it hard to reach out to the guy who was trying to collect his tears.

She had been as horrible as Jennie all this time while trying to justify all her actions in her head.

"I'm sorry Ash I shouldn't have let it go on for as long as it did," those words felt so stupid when they left her mouth. She now understood Jennie better and why she spat out so many lies and words that didn't matter anymore when she was leaving. No one liked being left alone. She should have lied and it would have made him feel better.

Her touch made him shiver as it was still familiar and home. It was just the same skin, but not the same person on the inside. He shrugged her hand off of him because Y/n wasn't his home. She destroyed their home by inviting someone else into it, and by letting someone else intrude multiple times.

"No, you shouldn't have let it happen to begin with but you did–" His tone grew slightly harsher through the pained tears and Y/n sat back as her tears fell to see him this hurt. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting and she could only watch a part of her life get up from the bed they used to share. "Your sorry won't change what has happened Y/n because you don't even seem sorry." She watched how the life they had planned together was leaving her and her biggest fears didn't matter to him anymore. Y/n had to face them alone for what she had done and she knew that it was all her fault.

Those plans of a future together were gone as the guy left her alone, crying in the bedroom.

Y/n still hadn't come back;

Jennie was still dying in her home because of how everything hurt, not knowing what to do about it. She disregarded the mess she was, the way her nose had been bleeding with every inhale of substance. She disregarded the fact that she had barely slept for the past days, how her eyes were red and the circles dark. She disregarded the fain quivering within her bones at how weak she felt.

Jennie found clothes she hadn't trashed or thrown out of her closet and put on a pair of black sweats and a hoodie, fumbling with the sunglasses that she tried to put on using one hand while getting her car keys and phone with the other–her phone was dead when she picked it up. Slipping on a pair of sneakers that lay tossed on the rug after she walked out of the closet.

If Y/n wouldn't come back to her, she would make it to her on her own.

Two weeks.

She had been drinking herself wasted for two weeks and her throat was in pain from how her body was rejecting most of the alcohol she tried to down. It wasn't helping her numb the fact that she had lost a person who meant something to her. Jennie couldn't let it go, she had never gone so far for anyone because no one seemed worth it.

The sunglasses blocked the sun when she opened the door, the air was soothing against her sore body that was still forcing the toxins out of her through every pore. It still made her head pound and her vision filled with white spots at the strong light, the sunglasses doing the bare minimum. Her feet led her to the black Bentley with tinted windows to avoid being seen in this state as she didn't want to look in the mirror for longer than a second.

Jennie could no longer recognise herself, the person Y/n had made her when she left.

She got in the car and started it, making sure to blast the AC to cool of her warm body. There was only one star that was lighting up Jennie's dark world that had never been whole. The world that she had made was so horrible that upon entering most people left a second later because it was hard to breathe when standing in the waste of toxicity she had surrounded her presence with. The gates opened and she drove out, leaving the premises where she had been hiding out of shame for the past two weeks.

Jennie was heaving for breath after she made it up the stairs, using all her leftover energy to make it up as her body was exhausted. Her eyes landed on the few boxes that stood outside the door she had walked through many times before. Now it felt like a greater task to even knock. She hadn't come up with anything to say, her brain was running F1 races in a loop but they all seemed to crash, leaving her with incoherent thoughts.

All those lies she had always perfected seemed too flawed to say now. She wanted to go out of her way and lie for the girl to make it all better because the truth somehow always made it all worse, but so did the lies. Jennie stuttered when she knocked because nothing was good enough to say. She just wanted Y/n to forgive and forget and take her back in. It was stupid to hope because she knew it would never happen, the girl would never fix it for her when she opened and Jennie had no clue what to say.

It smelled of weed and coffee and Jennie had forgotten to check the time, date, and day as her days had been changed. She realised that it was morning, not evening and that she hadn't slept the whole night.

"Please, just talk to me." She begged the girl who looked like she hadn’t stopped crying for a second with eyes tired and her usual perfect posture slumped in despair.

Y/n looked at the woman who made her insides twist with hatred and adoration. She looked a mess as she pushed the sunglasses up, revealing her glossed-over eyes and dark circles around them. If possible, Jennie looked thinner and her voice was barely there. She looked back over her shoulder at the footsteps and the older woman looked past to see Lisa who walked out of the bedroom confused. It went silent for a few seconds.

Lisa gave a questioning look; wanting to know what Y/n was going to do.

"I will be just outside." She mumbled and Jennie stepped back, her heart increasing as Y/n stepped out of the apartment and closed the door after her.

"There's a reason as to why I am trying to get you out of my life, Jennie."

"But–"

"I don't like you, Jennie," this time the vixen was the one spitting out lies to make it easier for herself even if it was heavy on her heart. She couldn't do it any other way though. The tears were welling in her eyes because Jennie had that effect on her. Y/n couldn’t do this for much longer, it had torn her body enough and soon nothing would be left. This was for her good and it should have been this way from the start, but amidst it all Jennie felt like the best thing for her until now.

Jennie knew how to break her down, how to fix her, how to hold her.

She knew how to make her cry, how to make her feel, how to bring her to heaven and then hell.

Jennie knew how to bring her everywhere.

She shook her head, her lips parting at the words she knew weren't true. The feline could see in Y/n's eyes that she was lying, that she was denying the truth of it all. Jennie was the one who said she would always stay, but now she was the one being pushed away. Y/n didn't like being alone, but Jennie was there to take those fears away even if the girl was lying. She wasn't going to let it define her, her lies, she didn't care about them. All she cared about was getting back something she never had to finally have it.

"Why would you send him the video?" Her breath hitched as she was reminded of how everything had ended for her too. She shoved the hand off of her when Jennie tried to reach for her. Y/n had become fully aware of how toxic Jennie’s touch was and how easily she would become poisoned by it if she let this go on for too long.

"You know why." She enunciated because they both knew why she sent that video. They both knew what Y/n had confessed to her in that car and Jennie helped her do what she was so scared of doing. She had freed her of these chains—at least she thought she had done, but it didn't seem to be the case.

"You're a selfish fucking asshole, that's what I know. I never needed you to do anything, Jennie–" Y/n scoffed, the tears falling at the thoughts coursing through her mind. The thoughts of never meeting Jennie and none of this happening. The thoughts of never seeing Jennie again after meeting her all these times and falling so deeply into her crushed world that she tried to sort out, but never could. "I never needed you in my life to begin with and you still came in between us." She bellowed, emitting words with hatred–hatred Jennie knew she had for her, hatred Jennie had for herself, but that wasn't the only thing Y/n felt for her.

"You're denying it because you didn't want to lose him, but now you have. You know that I can give you so much more than he would ever be able to." Jennie raised her voice, her tone abrasive from how sore her throat was. Her voice echoed through the stairwells of the apartment building, it boomed through their bodies as she clenched her fists and jaw after. She was doing everything to tough up, but her insides were turning to dust and she wanted nothing more than Y/n’s comfort.

"I already told you the first time we met that I don't care about your money and status," she knew what Jennie meant, but she wasn't going to acknowledge the truth. It was easier to defy it and use something she didn't want instead.

"It's not about money, I can love you right, care for you, give you the world and not in a material way. I can give you what you need and you know it! You know what you feel for me and that he was in the way of it because you were scared."

Her tears ran down her face, they stung her skin as they had turned into something acidic. Her eyes were bleeding tears, they didn't want to stop when she saw Y/n. To see the girl she was slowly losing more and more with each second made her try and hold back her sobs at how real her loss was becoming to her. Y/n wasn’t faltering, she wasn’t seeing what Jennie was, and she wasn’t giving in.

"You say that you love me yet hurt me and excuse it as something out of control. Is that what you think I need? For someone to fucking drain me in different ways? I don't feel anything for you except hatred."

"That's not true! Please understand me for once. You said yourself that you wanted him to break up with you, to have a reason to leave you and now he did. You weren't just being selfish but hurting yourself, Y/n—" She felt helpless as she started to sob because nothing she said worked or changed the girl's mind. Jennie was slowly giving up, she was close to getting on her knees and begging her if she would just let her.

Y/n didn't get to move, but flinch when Jennie's frail body forced itself onto her lithe one and she hugged around her waist. It made Y/n's back crash into the door and she whimpered at the discomfort of still feeling warmth bubble in her at Jennie's coaxing touch. It was still comforting and the home she wanted it to be. She felt so horrible for Jennie and the state that she was in, she felt guilty, but she knew that she shouldn’t be. It was almost enough to make her give in.

"I didn't want to hurt you in any way, everything I have ever done to you was because I wanted to do the best for you. It was selfish, but can't you see that I am willing to go out of my way to love you? Give me a chance, I swear I will work on myself and love you like you should be loved, Y/n. Please, I beg you." Jennie's whole body shook as she cried on Y/n's shoulder, taking in the sweet floral scent that she wanted to drown in. The scent she would use on her sheets just to feel content when she wasn't with the girl. It made her feel warmth and hope, it made her feel whole for even just a second.

Jennie loved her, she loved her too much. She loved her enough to hurt her just to keep her.

Y/n gripped Jennie's shoulders and pulled her away from her because this was bad for both of them no matter how much they wanted each other. They weren’t what they needed, not then, not now, and not ever. They were never supposed to meet, to begin with and it had all just been an unfortunate tragedy that they did.

"You should've worked on yourself before you decided to get involved with someone and fall in love." Y/n was starting to find it pathetic, yet heartbreaking as she felt terrible for pushing Jennie away because she could see how her soul shattered like glass just through Jennie’s teary eyes. Y/n’s feelings were just too complicated for her to be with anyone at the moment, especially someone like Jennie. "I don't have time for you, Jen–I have to pack. Leave." Jennie tried to grasp at Y/n's sweater but got her hands diverted away from her.

"Where're you going?" She choked out, pushing past the lump of stones in her throat as they were cutting through it, slowly killing her.

"Back to Chicago."

"What? What– What about your school and everything, you can't just leave–" Now her world was close to an end when she got to hear that the girl wasn't just leaving her, but also the city of angels. She was going far, far from Jennie and it was making her even more sceptical about even seeing her ever again. It was destroying Jennie as she felt her stomach twist, her heart getting cut through with dull knives, making the process much more painful from how slowly it was being torn.

"Taking a break, but you need to leave now Jennie. I don't want to see you anymore. Please, get yourself together because neither of us deserves this."

She didn't get to say another word to the girl. Jennie didn't get to hold her, kiss her, or tell her any sweet words before she saw Y/n for the last time before she closed the door on her.

That was the last she got to see of her.

That was the last of the light she got in her dark world before it finally shattered and there was nothing left but a void.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore @dreamingst99 / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 2 months

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-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗲-

1.7

previous - m.list - next

𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

wc;12+k

a/n; dubcon; sex under the influence of substance

[One week ago]

The morning didn't start like it always did for the both of them, not only were they together in the morning, but this time was different from when they woke up each morning when they stayed in the hotel together.

Y/n hadn't been able to sleep through the whole night.

Each time she woke up, Jennie was asleep and still there and each time she fell asleep again Y/n hoped the next time she woke up the woman would have left. She couldn't bring herself to be the one to leave.

Jennie couldn't sleep either.

Each time she opened her eyes Y/n was still there and that was the reassurance she needed to be able to go back to sleep only to wake up and look for reassurance again.

It shouldn't have been this hard, Y/n knew it. They were only tangled up in the bed sheets, yet she couldn't escape whenever she tried. With each movement, with each try to get away, their grip only got stronger, giving her new reasons to stay that always worked. However, at some point, Y/n knew that she had to cut through the sheets instead of trying to crawl away from something that had her in a chokehold, it tied around her neck like a noose. She wanted to breathe, no, she needed to breathe and suddenly Jennie wasn't what she needed.

Jennie had left the room to take a call and the girl took the opportunity to grab her clothes to start changing because she knew that she needed to get home at some point. She still had classes and she had no clue how she was going to pull through them unless she was high. With no money she knew that she no longer would have access to coke and neither did she want any from Jennie because she had made a choice.

Her mind drifted off to the Adderall prescriptions that she hadn't used since she started using actual illicit amphetamine and cocaine. Y/n knew that it would now not become a drug only to help, but to abuse and she cursed herself for knowing that she had a hard time stopping.

She wasn't addicted.

There just wasn't anything good in her life anymore and if not drugs then she could give up because she was losing everything, slowly but surely.

She was just about to remove Jennie's tee from her body, to strip off everything the woman had left her. Y/n wanted it all gone all while knowing that the scars that Jennie left were permanent. Someone who wasn't supposed to be part of her life, to begin with, someone who she did not belong with, someone who intruded and cut through her forcefully had left scars that would never heal. The guilt, the shame, the impaired judgment, the sinkhole. It would always be there with her every step she took.

Jennie had left her mark whether Y/n wanted to admit it or not.

There would always be a reminder that at some point in her life, Jennie had been part of it.

"What're you doing?"

She stopped, the tee falling back down her body as she was only in it and her underwear. Y/n felt the hand snake under the tee and grab hold of her waist and Jennie turned her around. There was no fight as she pushed Y/n down to sit, her eyes drilling into the girl she would never allow to leave.

Y/n was hers, her caged animal and no matter how much she fought for freedom Jennie would never allow her to escape. Y/n was like an endangered species, a one-of-a-kind, she was rare and Jennie always needed what was best.

Y/n looked up at Jennie who was holding onto her shoulder to keep her down as if Y/n would try to run any second. Could Jennie sense it too? It was as if something shifted after last night, it was like a landslide, and everything was destroyed now. What they had was in the past and now there was only space for a future.

Y/n was aiming for one without Jennie.

She didn't want her in her life. She knew better but still did worse by not being able to do what was right. Y/n wished Jennie could have been a bit more self-aware. It was hard to do right when she was blinded by meaningless rays and the promise of a brighter world with Jennie because she understood her and no one else would. Y/n hated how self-aware she was and how she chose to ignore it.

"Seriously right now." Y/n started, trying to lean back when Jennie cupped her cheek but she wasn't allowed to.

Jennie heaved a sigh through her nose. "I'm being nothing but serious, Y/n."

"I want to quit." What did she want to quit? Everything. Y/n had made up her mind, it was as if it hit her during the night. Jennie made her realise that the reflection that she had become of her was one that Y/n did not want to be. It was time for the girl to throw out the reflection that never had been her, the one she had faded into and find her own. She needed to find herself again.

"Quit what?"

Jennie hated that the numbness in her had cracks, it wasn't fair that Y/n could do it to her when Y/n wasn't supposed to matter.

"Whatever this is, the drugs and everything, Jen—"

"What for?" There was something off about how Jennie wasn't lashing out at her. It made Y/n even more nervous as she stared at the woman who controlled her world in a way that made it slowly go under. It scared her that one person was capable of making a whole world go under.

"I don't feel good."

Y/n had never felt this horrible mentally and physically in her life. It was as if every single atom in her body had burned out. Her body was collapsing, she could feel it give up every day more and more. She was terrified that by the end of it, there would only be a piece of her left and that even that little piece would get buried six feet under. This felt like a death that she was well aware of, she was watching herself die.

Jennie scoffed, utterly annoyed by the girl's words. It felt like Y/n was trying to be better than her and it was pissing Jennie off. There was no way she would let Y/n quit anything if Jennie wasn't able to get the willpower to quit herself. If Jennie was going under she was going to drag Y/n down to the bottom with her. Y/n couldn't be better than her, the billionaire had found her mutual and wasn't going to allow her to be better.

Jennie never felt jealousy or envy. She never had to because she had everything yet when it came to Y/n she always felt it. This time was different than when it came to her boyfriend. She couldn't help but feel jealous over the fact that despite calling Y/n all types of profanities she was everything Jennie was, but there was one thing Y/n was that Jennie wasn't.

Y/n was better than her.

The girl had the will to quit which Jennie didn't.

"That's the point of drugs, they make you feel good so why would you want to quit feeling good."

She wanted to sell Y/n false dreams, knowing that they were true even if they would destroy her in the long run. However, Jennie refused to be alone, she knew that deep down she was scared to be alone, to die alone. It wasn't fair that someone in similar shoes to hers was capable of getting out of them but she wasn't.

The words only made Y/n more nervous, knowing how hard it would be to quit. It was almost enough to make her not want to quit. She knew it would be impossible, but if she was going to let drugs ruin her life she had to at least quit Jennie because she sped up the process and Y/n wasn't able to keep up anymore.

"What if I want to leave?" She questioned as Jennie ran her thumb over her cheek, caressing the soul she had tainted to her liking.

"You can't leave." Jennie wouldn't let her leave.

"What?" She breathed out at the assertive tone of Jennie that made her frown, drowning in dread at what was about to come next. Why was Jennie so hard to quit? Y/n was trying, but Jennie wasn't letting her go and the hills peeking inside from the ceiling-high windows that lit up the room with natural light were her witness.

"Unless you want the video of you sucking dick in the bathroom to spread."

Jennie watched how more of Y/n's soul got crushed under the heavy weight she put on her with those words. She wouldn't stop, she wouldn't stop until Y/n was so damaged that she wouldn't be able to breathe without Jennie being there to help her. She was ready to do everything to have her to herself and she would get it by hook or by crook. Jennie wasn't losing her. Jennie would put her into the ICU where she would be connected to the woman to stay alive, she was going to be her lifeline.

Y/n had become the drug she needed and she couldn't afford withdrawals and no other drug could replace Y/n.

The roles had somehow changed, but she was determined to make it mutual.

The girl inhaled deeply, blinking her eyes while trying to figure out if she was still breathing or not as heat ran over her whole body. Her brain racked for a moment when she had possibly been filmed committing the crimes of selfish lust. Each breath grew heavier with tears that slowly gathered at how little she remembered about these past months. It was frustrating.

Each memory was a blur, being nothing but a reason as to why she forgave Jennie as she couldn't remember what the woman had ever done to her. Not only that but Y/n had been blatantly ignoring each warning Jennie had flashed at her and had painted every single flag green.

Why couldn't she remember anything?

Did she forget it? Or did she choose to forget it? She couldn't remember that either.

Y/n felt a lump in the pit of her stomach, she could feel it grow, and it started to grow so fast that she wasn't able to adjust to it. It felt like she would explode. The self-hatred was overwhelming now, she despised herself. The girl couldn't even hate Jennie anymore. She could feel it all coming right up about to push up her throat.

"What?"

Was all she could push out from between her lips.

Was this why Jennie didn't snap at her? Did she have her all chained up? Was Jennie going to get to play with Y/n however she liked until she got bored? It was painful, it was eating at her, Y/n had enough, but Jennie wasn't letting go. She was tired, she truly was and it felt like ending it was the only way out. The billionaire had managed to crush her soul. Y/n was still looking for a little piece left. A piece of her to grasp at and keep to not forget that she was human.

The woman hummed, her hand falling from Y/n's face as she reached into her jeans and took out her phone. Y/n watched, dreading it and unsure if she wanted to see it. It was enough proof that Jennie took out her phone yet she stayed like she always did to see what Jennie would do next no matter how much it backfired.

Y/n was drowning in her selfish lust, and Jennie saw no reason why she shouldn't be allowed to do the same.

"You think you get to choose when you leave, Y/n—" She scoffed and turned her phone around. "I will fucking remind you every single time of where your place is...Right under my fucking feet because I own you."

Last resort, Y/n tried to grab hold of the phone only to get shoved back onto the bed. Jennie turned her phone off and before Y/n could try and get up she grabbed hold of the girl's jaw, forcing her to stay down as she pushed her palm right against her chest. The pressure felt like it would break her bones and Jennie stared down at her as she got on the bed. A barely there whine left Y/n's lips, Jennie making sure to show her where she belonged as she placed her knee on her stomach.

She'd do everything to remind Y/n that she could hurt her in more ways than one, that she could ruin her life with a video. That she could ruin all her relationships. That she could beat her to a pulp if she wanted to. That she could do so much but chose not to and Y/n had forgotten to appreciate it, to be grateful that Jennie treated her better than the rest of the women.

Y/n couldn't help but wonder when she would stop being the victim. Was she even truly a victim? It felt like she was willingly becoming one to Jennie. That she would destroy herself a million times just to be with Jennie.

That flickering will was still left in her, she pushed at Jennie's shoulders to get the woman off of her. It did nothing when her hands got pinned above her head. The more she struggled the tighter the grip got, the more she tried to break free the more trapped she got. There was no escape by force and she knew that her only chance would be when Jennie messed up. When that grip would turn into something more.

"You said that I can trust you."

Why? Just why did she always have to sound so weak in front of Jennie? Why did she always have to prove the woman's every single point? Perhaps she never was stronger than Jennie. Not mentally either. Her voice only crackled like a fireplace, like thin ice being stomped, it crumbled beneath Jennie. It could perhaps be the last of her and Jennie had even gotten what's best of her at this point.

"And you can, you can trust me not to spread the video if I can trust you to not leave."

"What's it to you if I leave or stay?"

Neither wanted the other to leave, it was a game, it was a battle and it wasn't about who would surrender first but about who would escape the war first. To leave the battlefield empty was what would damage the other the most, but the second one tried to leave the other cornered and so it turned into a war without an end.

"Nothing."

"Exactly–"

"But it's everything to you, isn't it? What will you do without me, Y/n? There's a reason why you called me out of all people. You know yourself that you can't leave because you need me."

All those thoughts she had about not needing Jennie washed away with the waves. The reminder; it was like a cold breeze at the beach. It was unsettling yet it felt good under the blazing sun.

She looked her in the eye, tears pooling in them and glimmering like an ocean in the summer. It was truly a beautiful sight to Jennie. How could she ever lose Y/n? She cared too much about her and knew that she could give her what she needed. Jennie knew that she could give her everything Asher couldn't, but Y/n had yet to realise it.

Jennie removed the pressure from Y/n whose tears spilled at last, not having the power to not look weaker than she already did in front of Jennie. What was the point when Jennie had already seen her at her worst, at her weakest moments since she always brought her to them? The woman let go, knowing that there was only one person Y/n could find comfort in as she scooped her up to mend the broken pieces back together. This was Jennie's job, this was her nine-to-five and Jennie loved every second of this miserable cycle as she hugged Y/n who curled up into her while crying into the crook of her neck.

Did the tears go unnoticed like in the rain? No, each seeped in through Jennie's pores and nestled itself deep within her. Perhaps one day it would all come and she would feel bad for all the tears she had caused. That it would finally make her realise that she had to change to save Y/n from more tears.

"I hate you, I hate you so much." The anger couldn't subside, but Y/n's punches had always been weak as Jennie grabbed hold of the girl's fist after it collided with her shoulder a few times. She sighed, feeling the girl bunch up her shirt at her back, unable to take her anger out on her because Y/n knew that she needed Jennie.

"Do you? I know exactly who you hate Y/n, trust me, we are so fucking alike that it's sickening and makes me want to fucking strangle you."

Her breath brushed her ear, it was sickening to listen to but Y/n took in every word as she just cried in Jennie's arms. The way Jennie let the tears sink into her marrow, Y/n let the words get tattooed on her skin, tattoos she knew she would regret, but she couldn't help but want them now and regret them later.

She listened to Jennie as if she was her God.

"You hate the fact that you cannot hate me no matter how much you fucking try because, in the end, the only person you hate is you. You hate yourself so much but will continue staying in denial about it so you hate and blame everyone around you for choices that you have full control over, but every day you lie to yourself and say that you don't have any control over anything."

Why did Jennie have to be right?

"That's why you don't leave even if you can because you don't want to and not because I say so."

What was the best way to trap a bird?

To break its wings.

Jennie knew how to sell Y/n the idea of being hopeless to look for hope in her.

She wasn’t her prison in the end, she was the church Y/n went to, her God and not a jail, but a sanctuary. Without Jennie, Y/n had no hope.

[Present]

Jennie reached the bathrooms and didn't have to guess which one the girl was in when one opened. She took her hand out of her pocket and pushed the vixen back inside as she stepped into the bathroom that was lingering with alcohol and the sweet floral scent of Y/n who grabbed hold of her shoulders to not trip. The anger felt unimaginable and she hadn't felt like this in a while. In ages. Jennie had forgotten how to feel because of the numbing drugs and alcohol. She made money and consumed air to stay alive while ruining her body.

She locked the door after her.

"You look fucking pissed," Y/n grumbled as suddenly Jennie only ruined her high, the woman wasn't her high anymore, but she was what made everything a bad trip. Y/n let go of her shoulders and was about to get over to lean against the black marble sink. Jennie helped her with it when she grabbed hold of her sore wrists, making Y/n whine as she was turned around and bent over the sink.

"Who else do you fuck aside from me?" Jennie questioned while working on the belt that held up her loose jeans. Her other hand caressed the girl's arched back and she looked into the mirror to meet eyes that looked blank with no life left in them. They were still sparking with substances and it let her know that she was still alive. Her nose was red and runny as she sniffled, pupils big and her skin scorching warm.

"You and..." Y/n trailed off in thought and Jennie clenched her jaw as she reached for the girl's dark long hair. She bunched it up, her belt undone, but her jeans still on as she pressed into the girl's ass to get closer.

"I'm not fucking joking around with you."

The tone despite being drunk and high, the tone was a warning one. Y/n had heard it many times now and it always came with further screams, harsh grasps, things breaking and Y/n flinching yet staying. The vixen sighed and pushed herself onto Jennie, being able to feel the latter's hard cock through her drawers as her skirt wasn't covering anything now that she was bent over the marble. Jennie sharply exhaled through her nose that flared at the contact.

"Just you, and Asher at times."

Jennie tightened her grip on Y/n's hair who whined as she tried to pull away but her drunk body lacked any real strength, especially compared to Jennie's who was close to just tipsy. The cold steel of the buckle pressed into her thighs, making Y/n shift at the cold on her warm body, unable to comprehend whether it was nice or not. Her body was being pressed against the marble in a suffocating way from how much pressure Jennie put on her to show who owned who.

"Why did you kiss him and follow him to the bathroom? Tell me the fucking truth if you were going to let someone else touch you the way I do." She would kill him and Y/n and she didn't like that fact. Jennie was sure that she would lose control she would never be able to get hold of it again once it was lost.

Jennie reached her other hand around the girl and trailed up and under her skirt as she caressed her inner thighs which were even warmer. It was like touching upon a golden fire, the skin smooth and perfect, warm and welcoming to get buried between. Y/n let out a shuddering breath, her one hand holding onto the edge of the marble as her other was balled up into a fist with nowhere to hold onto. She stared into Jennie's eyes through the mirror and was reminded of how she wasn't allowed to forget her at all.

"I just did because it didn't come to mind when he kissed me until it did–only came here for coke," the girl replied, her voice in a rasp. She had forgotten how easily cheating happened. In the same way she had fucked Jennie, the guy just kissed her and it all just happened before she realised it fully. Jennie trailed her fingers over the lace, feeling the wetness that had soaked through them. It made her chest heave with more anger to think that the girl was already wet and that it possibly wasn't because of her.

"Why are you so cheap?" The anger was boiling inside her, it was so close to blowing the lid. It was dangerous how Y/n had all the control over Jennie's emotions yet she did anything but try to control them in a way that didn't end with both of them hurt.

"What–"

"You whore yourself for some drugs. You'd let all of them fuck you in this bathroom, wouldn't you? Fucking let them fuck you one after another if not all at the same time." The anger bubbled in Jennie's chest at her own words and she retreated her hand from under Y/n's skirt who whined. Her voice only bounced off of the empty marble walls with the music being almost completely muffled.

Y/n knew what she was going to do. She was going to leave after taking a line and not fuck anyone. It hadn't even crossed her mind. Jennie didn't have to know that though. She didn't like the way she was the only one being played with. If Jennie could play with her then Y/n could play with Jennie.

"So what if I would? What's it to you when you're the same as them to me? It had nothing to do with you and still doesn't aside from the fact that you had them leave and now I missed out."

Y/n knew what worked and what would get the woman furious even if she was drunk and could barely make out Jennie's face because of how blurry her vision was. It was the truth even if she only wanted to anger Jennie to get out her frustrations. The billionaire was like them and no one who should feel like more to Y/n yet did. What she did had nothing to do with Jennie yet it did because she let her get involved, she let her interfere in her life and was now stuck in a godforsaken loop where they hated and then made up each time taking one step forward and ten steps back.

Y/n's life was falling apart, Jennie had dragged her down with her and now Y/n was falling even further than the woman. She was making sure to return the favour of now dragging Jennie down.

She tried to push herself up but got harshly shoved back into the marble and it knocked the wind out of her as her stomach pushed into the edge of the sink. It made her whine again at the pain. Jennie undid her zipper and pulled her pants and boxers down enough. She got blinded by her anger and the emotions that were making her feel like she would throw up.

All Y/n could see when she looked into the mirror was Jennie's frown and anger swirling around her. The aura surrounding the woman was anything but pleasant and Y/n was drawn to the violent peace Jennie had created. It permanently caused a fear in Y/n whenever she was alone with Jennie, but that fear turned into something that made her veins course with adrenaline and so she had grown addicted to Jennie.

"You think you get to fuck around with someone else while running around my mind? What's it to me? The fact that I own your pussy and only I know how to fuck you right."

Y/n gasped at the pain, it stung her lungs when Jennie didn't let her even comprehend the fact that she was about to push into her. She got filled to the hilt, Jennie forcefully pushing through the tight walls as they clamped around her cock. Her lips were left ajar and her cheek pressed down onto the cold marble as she tried to catch her breath between the moans and whines that started to leave her mouth. The woman splitting her open in a way that was painful but she had gotten used to it. Jennie bit her lower lip as she gripped with all her strength at the girl's small waist while pushing her head down against the marble and slamming her hips into Y/n's.

Y/n closed her eyes at the pleasure and pain that was burning through her body. It was like adding more fuel to a fire, making it bigger and hotter. The pain brought her back to reality while the pleasure tried to drag her back to the city of sins and so she found herself stuck in the middle again. It was breaking her all together and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped at the edges, her tears running, the only thing saving her from even more embarrassment was the waterproof makeup.

Jennie's cock fucked her raw, dragging along her tight and sopping walls, once again being able to feel each other skin to skin as Jennie didn't care about requests for condoms. She would, but she felt no need to respect the girl's request after feeling disrespected the whole night. The gasps, whimpers and moans of the vixen bounced off the walls, her words not coming out as Jennie grunted with each hard and deep thrust, pistoning into the wet cunt as she went balls deep.

"Fuck, fuck, Jen–please." Y/n had no clue what she was pleading for as her scrambled brain was trying to come into a whole piece and figure out what was going on. Her knees gave up themselves as the alcohol was finally getting the best of her and the tequila truly kicked in. Her world was spinning violently unable to handle it as the drugs had become overwhelming and it still didn't feel like she was in her own body.

The discomfort in her tight cunt was slowly disappearing as her walls adjusted to Jennie's thick member that was throbbing inside her. She could feel the bulbous tip caressing her G-spot with each thrust.

"Please what? What're you pleading for, whore?"

Jennie let go of the girl's hair and pulled her up by her shoulder enough to reach under her arms and grope at her chest through the top. She could feel the piercings and hard nipples that were protruding through the material of the tight-cropped halter top. Her hand grabbed at Y/n's breast, roughly playing around with it. Her front pressed into her back as she kept up at her hard and deep thrust, only slowing down her pace. Her hand wrapped around the girl's waist and found its way under her skirt. Jennie's finger found its way under the underwear and to the swollen and pulsating bud.

"Oh fuck, too much—"

Jennie nuzzled her face through Y/n's hair and found the girl's ear who whined at the way she bit on it. The woman playing with all her sensitive parts as she was fucking her pussy raw, playing with her clit and chest, panting wetly by her ear while nipping and tugging on it.

"I'm going to fill you up so good, I will fuck all my cum into your tight little cunt. You're going to take it all whether you want it or not."

Despite not wanting to have the woman's cum in her to save some of her dignity, the words made her pussy clasp down at the words. Jennie bellowed at the feeling, the girl letting her know how much she would love to get creampied by her, but her self-worth was in the way of it happening. "All for you—empty my balls right into you, slut."

Y/n moaned, her legs trembling as her body grew tense from the abuse her pussy was being put through, the fingers continued to circle her clit and the rigid cock kept splitting her in the middle as it dragged along her warm walls. With each thrust her pussy clenched as she couldn't control it, her body reacting on its own without her brain's comprehension because she didn't want to enjoy it. Y/n was supposed to despise the woman and not push more into her. She was stuck in a dilemma and Jennie was doing everything to abuse the time it took for Y/n to choose.

Jennie looked up into the mirror, the siren eyes barely open and red as they rolled back, the girl crying in pain, pleasure, and euphoria, drowning in sin only Jennie would be able to accept. The orgasm made her tighter when her body strained with waves washing over her as everything went black in her already empty mind and all the sounds died down fully. Her heart was beating in a way that hurt and the warmth became unbearable.

For a moment Y/n was so high up that she felt nothing, for a moment her world stopped and she was floating. The abyss was empty, it was endless and it numbed everything. That was exactly where she wanted to stay, that was exactly what she needed and not Jennie, that was exactly what she wanted as she didn't want Asher. It let Y/n realise how truly selfish she was, but she couldn't help it after feeling too much for such a long time. All she wanted and needed was to be empty,

The moans fell one after another in a way that made Jennie reach her edge as the aftershocks Y/n's pussy was going through were milking her cock the way they were throbbing. The older woman didn't wait as her hips stuttered and she buried herself as deep as possible in the girl to make sure her cum would stay. Y/n could barely gather herself before she felt Jennie's cum splatter and paint her walls as the woman groaned, the liquid warm and filling her more than she already was by her dick.

Jennie panted through her nose by her ear with her jaw clenched and eyes closed. Her legs managed to go numb for a second and she grabbed hold of Y/n's waist. She swallowed and bit her tongue after she pushed herself up. Jennie pulled out and stepped back from the drunk girl who found herself on the cold floor at the way her body wasn't held up anymore.

Y/n barely managed to turn, her knees crossed and her tears still running, her chest heaving as she was right back to feel everything. Jennie didn't say a word as she fixed her pants and buckled them back up. Her anger was still left for the girl, the sex hadn't been enough.

Y/n's gaze had been stuck on Jennie's designer sneakers, zoning in and out as her body trembled. The tears were more than just from what had happened between them. It was all too much.

The vixen looked up at last with eyes that lingered of confusion, hurt, and self-hatred at the bag of coke that was thrown onto the floor in front of her. It made her breath hitch as the lump felt like a tight grip around her throat at the way Jennie was treating her. She felt cheap, she felt degraded in a way she never wanted to be degraded or humiliated in. She felt all that dignity and self-worth disappear as Jennie had fucked her, filled her with cum and now threw coke in front of her. Y/n felt like a dog, she felt like all those profanities Jennie called her. Like an actual whore. Someone she fucked and paid with drugs.

Jennie was looking down at her, she felt like dirt under her shoes.

She always had been just that.

This was the only nothing she was allowed to feel around Jennie.

"It's what you do, isn't it? You spread your legs for these things."

"Jennie–"

The woman cleared her throat and turned to walk out the door.

"You're no better than my boyfriend if you leave," Y/n mumbled through the lump in her throat as the tears of pleasure never stopped but only turned to ones of hurt. She was holding back on her sobs as she stared down at the bag that had been thrown in front of her. Her payment for letting the woman fuck her, she felt used and maybe that was what she had been all along. Perhaps she had deluded herself into thinking that Jennie wasn't just using her for pleasure when in reality it was exactly what Jennie was doing. Using her.

Jennie always went on about how Asher was a terrible boyfriend, and how she would be so much better. She would agree, but it wouldn't be possible if she left through that door. Jennie was messed up but so was Yn in her way and pairing them with anyone else would only turn into abuse of someone innocent like she was doing to Asher.

They were perfect for each other, the way they acknowledged the ugly in each other and painted it beautiful. Meeting each other only destroyed them. Their flaws were flawless. It was meant to happen, it was a string that tied around their necks and choked them whenever they stayed away from one another.

Jennie's hand was on the handle that was cold in her warm palm, cooling it down as she stared at the black door. It vibrated faintly in her hold because of the music. She huffed and her fist clenched before she inhaled. Her muscles went limp when she was about to push the handle down, but she couldn't. Her chest heaved as she wanted to leave, but at the same time she didn't. It was as if her body gave up all her strength whenever she tried to walk out on the girl to win the war and leave Y/n to suffer the same way she made Jennie suffer.

The sniffle that came from Y/n made her hand fall off the handle and the anger mixed with all these other feelings. The feelings she had always tried to lock out, but they always broke the door down when Y/n appeared.

"I'm sorry."

She at last turned around at the broken sorry that came from the girl as her voice was faint. Y/n's chest was heaving, slow and heavy breaths with small sniffles in between. It looked as if the final thread had snapped and the sweater was completely torn. Y/n was a broken mess as she was crying on the floor beside the marble sink, leaning against the wall.

Jennie had broken her before, she enjoyed doing it because it let her hold the girl after, but she hadn't seen Y/n this way yet. This was a broken she wasn't sure if she would be able to fix and it made her stomach drop. It made her breathing pick up at the nerves that were twisting and turning, and her chest burned the harder she tried not to care.

A hiccup followed and she covered her face with her palms that were covered by the leather of the jacket. She sniffled again, it made her cry more as she knew that her nose was damaged and she could feel the metallic taste in the back of her throat. Her head was pounding and nothing felt enjoyable anymore.

For the first time in months, she wanted the high to go away, she didn't want to be drunk or high anymore. All she wanted was to go back to normal before she started to go through horrible come-downs and hangovers when she wasn't dissociating and forgetting everything from the substance abuse. To go back before she learned how to abuse things that were too good for her, from Asher to drugs. She wanted it all gone, to wash away from her body, to let the waves drag this new person away, to drown her and turn the waters into cherry wine.

All she wanted was her old self back. The self that was gone and would never be the same because that self was the one colouring the clear waters crimson.

She couldn't do it anymore as she gently hit the back of her head against the wall, her head feeling like it would melt. It made her sob because nothing was going away and it felt like she would be stuck in this state forever. Her fingers threaded into her hair as she pulled onto it and tried to force herself to wake up from what felt like she was in a dream everywhere she looked. She could feel her brain melting, it was as if there was a scorching steel ball melting through her head, a parasite eating at her and it hurt despite there being no actual pain. She'd do anything to make it go away whether it was to reject everything from her stomach or to kill herself. It felt like the only option left.

Anything just to possess her own body, to win it back from the substances.

Y/n felt scared, she genuinely felt scared on drugs for the first time. Afraid it would damage her brain permanently this time and not ever let her recover back fully to what her fried brain used to be. It was a loss she would never be able to reverse. She wanted to blame everyone, Jennie, Asher, Lisa, and all of her friends, but she could still only blame herself for these mistakes. She ruined herself and no one else, she would regret going this far her whole life.

Jennie never intended to get her dragged down this far.

"You're going to hurt yourself." She pulled away the girl's hand from her and Y/n looked at the woman. Something ran across Jennie's inside. It was without any pressure, but it was as sharp as a scalpel and cut her open in pain as she bled at the sight. The girl was way too young to have her life end in a tragedy and Jennie felt guilty.

"Please–I'm going to kill myself, Jennie. I can't, it's too much, it hurts but at the same time, it doesn't. Please." She cried as her hands clenched, this time not thinking about trying not to look weak. She was collapsing and breaking, there was nothing to fight as all her vulnerabilities were out in the open, wanting nothing more than to grasp at Jennie to hold on to the reality and not die in the world she was scared of.

Jennie let go of her hands and gently placed them down, she reached over to Y/n's neck and ran her palm over the skin while looking the girl in the eyes. Blood slowly oozed out of her nose with tears streaming down her face. She felt for her pulse, her body warm, and it started to register in the woman's head what was happening.

"Come here..." She pulled Y/n to her, the girl being on her knees as her body collided with Jennie's who hugged around her waist. She gave her a reality to hold onto and Y/n buried her face in her shoulder as it felt less scary when she held onto someone. Someone who was Jennie and made her feel safe in their chaos. "It wasn't coke, baby–" Jennie told the girl who cried in her arms, she cradled her head and gently massaged her scalp with her fingers. "MDMA powder which isn't something you could afford to take tonight." She mumbled, feeling even more guilt as she could have done more.

The girl's chemicals were crumbling, she was crashing and there was nothing left for her brain to produce. She figured that Y/n knew it too since she was able to tell the difference, but it didn't matter at a moment like this. Jennie knew that she was the reason for all of this and would have to live with it. Would Y/n ever be able to recover from this? Jennie could only hope.

She tried to put her anger aside which was mixing with guilt and everything else while Y/n was in despair. It only turned into something worse.

The vixen was on the brink of doing something to take her own life just to get rid of this feeling. She helped her sit back while holding onto her and took her phone out to text and get some help. Her eyes shifted between her phone and the girl who had somewhat calmed down, but looked like all life had been drained from her–the will to live. This was beyond what Jennie could repair.

Y/n didn't register when Jennie let go of her to open the door while picking up the bag of coke.

"I will drive myself, just have them help me get her into the car," Jennie said as she rubbed her palms against her thighs unable to stop the emotions she didn't want to harbour inside of her. They were coming to life and she was feeling more than she could handle. Chaeyoung looked past the older woman and at the girl who looked like a mess. Her eyes came back to Jennie, looking over the blood smeared on the white tee, Jennie's skin damp and eyes swirling with different emotions.

"Did you...lose it again?"

"No, Chaeyoung!" Jennie snapped at the question and yanked the keys out of the woman's hold. It had all frustrated her, not only hadn't she had much to drink or re-dosed on anything for the past hour, but now she had a girl losing her mind on the ground and her friend asking whether or not she had hurt Y/n physically. This was too much for Jennie too, everything was coming all at once and the control she never had to begin with was spiralling even more out of control. A blazing fire that burned and started to destroy everything. It wasn't even possible to save anything.

"I'm just asking." She defended and Jennie shoved her away from the door and stepped out, pushing her further away, making the blonde stumble and hold onto the wall. Her friend didn't find it a good idea for the older woman to take care of Y/n when she was already taking her anger out on everyone else. "Could you please take her to my fucking car?" She forced out at the man who at last walked into the bathroom that smelled of sorrow, regret, and pain, knowing that it would always linger around the two of them.

"What happened and are you sure you can drive her? Should you even—" She watched the person she was friends with but also worked with open the bag with cocaine. Jennie opened the small bag and used her pinky to scoop up the fine powder and quickly sniffed it up before rubbing the rest over her gums.

"She's fucking high out of her mind and needs to get out. I can fucking drive her." Jennie said and held the door open wide for the man who held the girl around her waist, helping her walk.

"Okay, but you need to calm down first."

"Shut up, Chaeyoung and do what you are supposed to do which isn't babysit me." Jennie snarled at the woman who was getting on her nerves and let the door fall closed. The man didn't walk the way they came from, but further as he headed for the fire escape. It was like she went on auto-pilot, her body taking out the bag once again and slowing down in her pace to get more in her system before it had even started to work. She got out more on her pinky, the powder spilling as she quickly inhaled more of it and it smoothly went down and numbed her throat and face altogether. Her gums were fully numb and she shoved the bag into her pocket, stopping on the way to pick up the purse the man had dropped.

By the time they reached the car as he carried the girl down the steel stairs, Jennie's eyes had blown, and her body had heated up even more. She felt her body sweating, her tee sticking to her and she wiped at her nose as she kept sniffing and swallowing the powder that was still making it down her nose and throat which felt swollen. Her heart was pounding and her body was like a jittery zoo as she couldn't stand still, rubbing at her nose while looking around and it was empty at the back that was off-limits for VVIP clients to leave without cameras in their face.

Jennie couldn't determine if the cocaine had for the first time made it worse instead of better.

"Thank you." She thanked the man after he got Y/n into the front seat of the black Maybach she had been driven to the club in, but would drive back home herself. Without much more thought she opened the door to the driver's side, her fingers stumbling with the keys as they were moving quicker than she managed to register. At last, she got them inside and looked over at Y/n who was half-conscious in the seat beside her, tired but unable to sleep with the MDMA still in her system.

The girl felt like a sticky mess, her body felt disgusting and she wanted to crawl out of her skin and leave it all behind. At this point she didn't want her body anymore, it was making everything crawl over her. She felt weak, barely being able to move at how drained she was while still needing to push through until the high would end. It felt like it never would, it felt like she would be stuck in the state for the rest of her life and it was slowly making her go insane.

"Fuck, you make me so fucking angry. You couldn't have just stayed and avoided running with some fucking guys. This is what you fucking get for acting like a brat." Jennie angrily grumbled because despite the guilt it wouldn't have happened if the girl hadn't gone with them. Jennie couldn't figure out what it was. Was Y/n's plan to party until she would die? Jennie knew that she had stepped over lines and let things get further than she intended to when she started to leave drugs at every step of Y/n's life.

The car started and she didn't wait as she pushed down the gas, driving out of the back and out onto the road. Despite the rush in her body she tried her best to drive legally even if she was high which was illegal enough. Driving at the speed limit and not passing red lights was what she tried to do, not swerving into other lanes as her mind got distracted or from looking at the girl for too long. All while trying to keep the brewing frustrations and anger under control. The coke made it somewhat harder this time.

It had for the first time made it worse than better.

"You have a shitty boyfriend."

They were always the same words and they never changed anything, but Jennie had to let it out. She hated Asher even if she had never even spoken a word to him. Despised him and wanted him out of the picture because she was quite sure that he was the reason why Y/n was constantly hurt. He let her get hurt by not being there for her. He was the reason why Y/n came to Jennie and only got hurt. If he had been enough Y/n wouldn't be in Jennie's car. If he hadn't been stuck on the person Y/n used to be, Y/n wouldn't be with him right now.

If he had been enough she would never be with Jennie or even consider cheating.

It took a minute of silence as Y/n looked for her words and they came. The reason why she stayed even if it wasn't mutual anymore. It was all she needed to stay even if she didn't feel the same for Asher anymore.

"He loves me." That was all that made him enough, his love. Y/n didn't need more than that to stay.

"Maybe he does, but he doesn't take care of you like he should."

Jennie wasn't the best at love, but she knew that the man loved Y/n, but he didn't do it right. He didn't care for her the way she needed to be cared for. Whatever person he knew Y/n as that wasn't the same person in the car with Jennie right now. He didn't know how to care for the girl in the car.

She did break her.

Jennie did so to hold the girl after because she needed someone to hold her.

Her intentions were good.

"He does."

"No sane man would let their girlfriend go out without him or treat her the way he does."

In the end, he wouldn't be enough for someone like Y/n. Jennie knew that because she was the one who was enough and knew what she needed.

Y/n sighed and pushed herself up, still in a state of deep derealization.

Her eyes landed on the older woman whom she couldn't deny a spot for even if she didn't want to. It had all just opened up by itself. Y/n stayed because Jennie cared and gave her the attention she needed, the care she needed. She stayed with Asher because he loved her. She stayed with both of them because she was greedy and wanted all those things.

Jennie's hands kept clenching around the wheel as she shifted in her seat. The layer of sweat on her body glistened with the streetlamps they passed and Y/n tried to see in more than just black and white. Especially when it came to Jennie who in the end gave her so much even if she took away just as much if not more.

"What do you want me to do about it? He trusts me."

In the end, Y/n had Asher's trust. The girl that he used to know had all his trust and the new girl who was in the luxury car used that trust to feel loved despite not loving back. It was selfish, but she wanted it and needed it when she was at her worst right now. She felt the most alone when coming down and that was when Asher was there for her before she left for Jennie again.

"That isn't what I am saying," Jennie exclaimed, it didn't make Y/n flinch as she was too gone and used to it by now. Her hand slammed against the wheel and she looked over at Y/n whose glazed eyes were blankly staring at her. "Fine if he trusts you, but why is he trusting everyone else not to harm you? There are men at every corner who would rape you without a second thought if you are all alone. I'd never let you go out without any protection, even a guard if I am not there to make sure you're always safe."

Y/n had no clue where her heart lay.

She had a clue.

It lay in a bed that wasn't hers.

In a house that wasn't a home.

It was being played with and torn to pieces.

"What do you want me to do?" She had no clue where to even start as she was in the middle and had no clue when everything truly began. Jennie had messed with her mind because Jennie was someone who wasn't supposed to have a heart. She wasn't supposed to be forcing herself into Y/n's home, but she did and vandalised everything by marking it as hers.

"You should break up with him."

The answer was simple and Y/n knew that she had to leave Asher whether or not she wanted to. It wasn't because of the reasons Jennie told her to break up with him. It was because he didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve to be dragged through Y/n's dirt that she left after her and he always followed no matter how horrible she could get.

"Never," but she couldn't.

Jennie clenched her jaw and inhaled deeply at the anger that surged through her body like a fire appearing in a gas leak. The word somehow triggered something in her. She felt like her whole world was crumbling and falling to hell. That heat surged her and she felt disgusting in her own body from how warm it was, but at the same time, she never wanted to leave because of how good it also felt.

"Don't say that." She gravely let out, anger seeping out with each word. Her pores leaking with it. Her hands tightened on the wheel as she pushed her back into the seat to try and ease the tension caused by the anger. Nothing was helping and she felt the thread about to snap.

"Say what?" Y/n questioned while wiping at her nose, getting rid of the dried-up blood. Her body was still trembling, chills running over her skin and the feeling that felt like her brain was melting was still there. She tried to ignore it and not lose her mind because of it.

"That you will never break up with him." Jennie tried to explain calmly, but her voice was like a cracking rollercoaster as each word was only fuelling her anger more and more. She wished the girl could just listen to her because she wanted her to stay.

"Why shouldn't I when I know that I won't?" Y/n didn't know, but she hoped because she couldn't afford to lose the guy at the moment even if it was selfish. She had already started so she could finish with him and leave once she had escaped the pain. All she needed was for him to stay and love her until all the pain was gone until she was no longer coming down from the highs where she felt alone.

"Because I told you not to say it." Her voice went up. It was all spiking her anger, her pulse going up and her heart beating even faster. It was getting overwhelming because of all these things happening to her and around her. She didn't want to hear those words from Y/n's mouth. She didn't want to imagine the girl staying with the guy forever as if it was certain when nothing was. Who would allow forever to happen? Not Jennie at least because nothing lasts forever.

"I'm not someone you get to tell what to do, Jen." It didn't only anger Jennie, but Y/n too who she had a hold on despite Y/n never willingly giving it to her. Jennie just took the lead and forced her onto a road she wanted her to walk.

Y/n stopped herself from flying forward by holding onto the front panel of the cream interior of the Maybach. Jennie stopped the car at the side of the road of the hills, driving to her Hollywood mansion. The conflict lingering would make the road longer than it was as she turned in her seat before the car came to a full stop and she grabbed hold of Y/n.

She gripped onto the side of her head, forcing the younger girl to look at her as she tangled her fingers in her hair. "If I fucking said to you to not say it, you don't say it, you hear me?" Whatever control the feline thought she ever had she didn't have it, but it didn't mean that she didn't lose control over herself.

"Jennie–" Y/n tried to pull away from the hold she knew was dangerous. The one hold where she stopped trusting Jennie fully because she knew what could happen. It was the only time she felt genuinely scared and unsafe with her because she had no clue how far Jennie would take it before she calmed down. The younger girl had no clue how to act or what to do. Probably be calm, but her anger got in the way and it only got worse.

The two of them only brought out the worst in each other which was their best.

She flinched at the way Jennie hit the seat right beside her head, the whole seat shook at the impact and Jennie gripped onto it. Her other hand gripped Y/n's neck and she fought the urge to take any of her anger out further on her. She had done everything this whole time to avoid making the same mistake she did with every girl she ever was with. However, she still couldn't help but fight the choking grip she had on Y/n's neck, loosening it but then tightening it while fighting the urge to hurt the girl more. The anger wasn't even anger anymore, it was an out-of-body feeling that Jennie got lost in.

Some were hard not to keep making as Jennie couldn't learn from them and instead grew used to the pain that came with the consequences of her mistakes.

She hit the seat again beside Y/n's head, the punches thrown at it were mere inches away from her face. The vixen could feel the wind of them and she was shrivelling into a ball on the inside from how scared she was of Jennie. At the back of her head, Y/n knew that Jennie could do anything to her, the woman could beat her up, and she could go as far as to kill her because Jennie had strength Y/n couldn't defend herself against. The girl was fearing for her life as she was trembling in her seat, fearing that one day she would die at Jennie's mercy.

"Fucking listen to me unless you want me to fucking hurt you!" The limit had almost been reached as she towered over the girl while holding her in place by her throat. She wasn't letting Y/n out of her hold who wasn't letting Jennie win either as she only got held tighter when she tried to make Jennie let go of her. Her nails dug into Jennie's skin at the desperate attempts to get out of her hold and live another day. It was quivering inside of her like an earthquake and Y/n could feel how her insides were trembling, but she still put up a fight.

"Fucking dipshit. I'm not your dog or some deluded girlfriend." Y/n raised her voice back only to get forced into the seat when she tried to push herself up. It hurt her throat as the impact forced out a choked squeak from her, it was like a cut against her throat from the force that was put on it. Jennie balled the leather jacket in her hold, forcing the girl to sit in her hold as she was leaning over the centre panel, her other hand on the slim neck that was bruising under her scorching touch. She always left her mark.

The hills were the only witness of the scene as the narrow roads were empty, no one was present to judge and neither of them was worthy enough to judge the other. Whatever was unleashed stayed within their walls and the hills who didn't judge.

"I don't fucking care what you think that you are, I know what you are, whore! So, fucking listen to me unless you want me to throw you out on the street and leave you for anyone to fuck. You would fucking love that, wouldn't you?" Jennie's voice left in a rasp at how harshly she spat the words at Y/n, thrashing the girl in her hold as she pushed her back into the door by holding onto the jacket and tender skin.

Chests heaved and not because of another passionate moment, this was a different sort of passion that they couldn't escape. They wanted to have something they couldn't have for various reasons. The biggest was that they were no good for each other even if they made each other feel in the best kinds of ways.

"Are you fucking mental? You're sick in the head, should get that anger checked out real quick before you end up in prison."

They both felt threatened by each other's presence. They both felt the need to assert their authority. Y/n didn't want to feel like Jennie's trash, like the broken doll she liked to throw around, play with and then take care of at the end of the day. She only wanted the last part of it. Jennie didn't want Y/n to think she had a say in anything because she felt superior and she knew better what worked. If she didn't they wouldn't have come as far as they did.

"I could fucking kill you and still walk free. No one fucking touches me just like no one cares about you, you were given up for a reason."

The words were harsher than they should have been. There was a crack in the trust they had somehow managed to build up no matter how bad it got between them.

Y/n's heart picked up and she fought the lump in her throat, unable to figure Jennie's words out. She knew that she didn't have to put up with Jennie degrading her. That the threats weren't supposed to be taken lightly. Y/n couldn't figure out how Jennie could care about her but also say that she'd kill her, hurt her, and continue spitting words that bore into her head. Jennie left the ugliest scars on Y/n's skin yet claimed to care.

The pain was barely there when Y/n's palms collided with Jennie's shoulders and she shoved her away. Her grip didn't go away from her neck and she only let go of the jacket. It was a blurred moment for Jennie as it unfortunately always was when she did these things. She did them before she could think of them because she felt a strong urge to do it. There wasn't a single thing in the world that could have stopped her because of what Y/n had done to Jennie.

She raised her hand like she always did, but this time she at last landed her skin against the girl's whose ears rang when Jennie slapped her, making her weak in her own body and stop fighting back at how much force was put into it to show how much Jennie cared and loved. She finally graced Y/n with her love, and at last, she did it. She gave Y/n her love.

Jennie's grip loosened on Y/n's neck, letting go and she stared in disbelief at the girl whose head had dropped with hair falling over her face. For the first time, Jennie could feel a pain in her hand, one that was more than just her skin colliding against Y/n's. Why did it sting so much to hurt Y/n this way? It wasn't supposed to hurt. It never did. This was supposed to finally satisfy Jennie like it always did, but it did the opposite as she stared.

Y/n's shaky hand came up to her mouth and she held the back of her palm against her pulsating lip, taking in quivering breaths that turned into sniffles. The side of her face hurt and the ringing slowly stopped, the force had been something she had never expected. No one had ever laid their hand on her. Jennie was the first person and she couldn't figure out what she was supposed to do. It was difficult to comprehend, especially since she had never been in a situation like this.

Her body resolved to shed tears as she couldn't hold them in as it didn't only hurt her skin, but everything inside out at what had happened. All the burdens and fears finally spilled.

It broke her that Jennie had hurt her physically this way. Y/n could feel the way her heart shattered at the fact that the person who meant so much to her despite their relationship had put their hands on her. It cracked more and more, it started to turn into dust, and it swallowed her like a void at the realisation of what had happened. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't true, but the taste of blood spread on her tongue and she looked at the back of her palm through the tears that fell on it. The blood smeared on her pale skin.

She tried to comprehend it, but she couldn't as she heaved for breath in a way that hurt her lungs.

She tried to fight the hook when Jennie started to reel her back in with her arms wrapping around her, cradling the girl in her hold. She tried to fight it, she tried not to be reeled into Jennie's boat again, but she couldn't as she cried in her arms with apologies getting spewed in her ear. Maybe it was because she was drunk, high off of drugs that she couldn't fight the hook on her or maybe she was an easy fish to catch.

Her tears were soaked up by Jennie's shirt, heat radiating off of the woman's clammy body as she held Y/n to make sure she wouldn't leave. Everyone always left, she never cared, she let them leave, but she didn't want Y/n to leave. Y/n's fight had been weak as she stopped trying to get out of her hold, only trembling as she cried before the broken words started to leave her mouth, coming from her broken heart.

Each word was a piece of what Jennie had shattered.

"I hate you, despise you, Jennie. I fucking hate that I still want you even if you're fucking horrible and don't deserve anything good. You make me feel like shit."

"I know, I know all of those things, Y/n–I wish it was different."

"I hate that you're right. I know that I should break up with him–I'm too scared to do it. I'm stuck waiting and hoping for him to leave me instead. I don't love him anymore, you've ruined everything for me, I've ruined everything for myself. I've ruined myself just for you!" Y/n cried, her body falling into Jennie's toxic warmth that she had grown dependent on, but she knew that she couldn't stay. She just needed to sober up and stop hurting.

Jennie took in her words, letting them sink in and bury themselves in her skin like tattoos she would regret. She knew that she should leave the girl alone, that she should have done it from the start, but she couldn't and at least held her close beside her. She knew that nothing worked out from the start because Y/n wasn't for taking and even if she had been they didn't make it work.

It died before it got to live.

The hills watched Jennie who had driven the car in shame, guilt, and deep-rooted self-hatred. They had watched how she helped Y/n out of the car and they never said a word because they were silent and didn't judge when Jennie closed the door to the mansion.

She had led Y/n through the empty halls of the house that always stayed cold and empty, there had never been any life in it and each wall was engraved with pain and suffering. They had watched the meaningless parties with lives that held meaning to them die to pleasure and leave at dawn. They had watched Jennie be miserable as she only was behind closed doors.

She had helped the girl out of her clothes and changed her into her clothes before having her lay in the sheets that no one ever wanted to settle in for longer than a night. Jennie felt it would be the first and last night for Y/n too. The drunk girl was asleep as Jennie sat on her knees beside her, drowning in guilt the longer she looked at her while gently using makeup wipes to get the light makeup off of Y/n's face. Her breaths kept shuddering through the sleep she was consumed by as the clock struck 2 AM.

She had put Y/n through more than hell.

She watched the way Y/n's nose scrunched up when she wiped along the cheek that was a shade of pink and the way she winced when she went over her busted lip. Jennie's fingers were trembling and her body was burning itself down, the high from the cocaine dying down and the need to resume the high was almost unbearable. She instead looked at Y/n with stones falling onto her chest and weighing her down. She had always managed to ignore it, always throwing everyone she hurt out before she could start caring or they would leave themselves. It wasn't something she could do with the girl. Her palms rubbed against her thighs at the itching in her body.

Y/n was right beside her at the moment, but she couldn't be sure if by tomorrow she would stay or leave.

Jennie couldn't sleep, she was restless the whole night as she lay with her head in Y/n's lap, hugging the girl's waist. At some point in the morning when the sun came up she found herself dozing off, scared to fall asleep and be left alone in the morning. Her consciousness didn't let her fall into a deep slumber as images of the night kept flashing in her head, the guilt eating at her. Never had it mattered, never did her conscious care, but now it did.

Y/n meant a lot to her, she knew what the girl meant to her.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore @dreamingst99 / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 4 months

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-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚-

1.3

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At this point, she couldn't even pinpoint why she kept going at it. It was the sex, but then it got too much. She put herself through all these feelings just for sex, she was putting her boyfriend through hell just for sex, and it no longer made sense to her. The fact that cheating could feel so good during the moment. At least the older woman made it feel good and at times she made it feel good outside the bedroom. It was all just more bad news.

Y/n glanced at Jennie who was on her phone as they sat in her bed, being busy with doing the studying like she said she needed. Vinci laid in the woman's lap which was already baffling enough to Y/n. It was overly odd to have the older woman sitting right beside her, in clothes and just being there–there being where Asher always was. On one hand, Y/n minded it, on the other, she didn't mind it because, despite their nature of somehow bringing out the worst in each other, she did enjoy being with Jennie. Not like she admitted it to herself or would to anyone.

She did want to blame Jennie for bringing out the worst in her, to blame her for her cheating. Y/n knew that she couldn't do that, but maybe she somehow could blame her for bringing out this ugly side in her. That toxicity that she wallowed in because of her, or maybe it had always been in her, but Jennie just knew how to bring it to life.

She couldn't figure it out.

"What is it?" Jennie questioned when Y/n glanced at her once again, she shifted in her spot to look better at her and Y/n sighed.

"Okay, I know what I said, but could you maybe help with this one and don't even–" Y/n gave in at last and quickly stopped Jennie whose lips tugged up into a small smile. The last thing she wanted was to feed Jennie's big ego, but the woman was good at these things and she needed help. It would be dumb not to ask for it.

"Fine, come here." Jennie prompted and turned her phone off.

"I am here." Y/n deadpanned as they sat shoulder to shoulder and getting closer didn't seem possible. Jennie sat up better as she was almost lying down, the cat got off her lap and moved to lay at the foot of the bed.

"I need the screen closer, I don't have glasses so I can't see from far." She reasoned.

"Of course, you had to be blind too."

"Sorry, Miss Perfect eyesight," Jennie grumbled while Y/n moved somewhat closer to her and moved the laptop.

"Oh no, I can't even see what the vinyl says and that's like five metres away." Jennie looked at the wall with vinyls, a few facing them and she could see what they said and she looked back at Y/n.

"So you wear lenses."

"No, I just squint because I don't want glasses or lenses. I like being blind." Jennie chuckled at the words and lifted her arm and Y/n automatically leaned forward a bit for the girl to wrap it around her.

"How do you drive?" She asked her as Y/n rested her head against her shoulder, Jennie adjusted the laptop to be able to see the screen. Her chin rested at the side of Y/n's head. She never really spent more time than needed with her flings, but despite her at times unbearable attitude, Y/n was still bearable to stay with. All those other women were too, but they just lacked what Y/n had and weren't worth the time once she had her release.

"I hope for the best and usually arrive at my destination without any accidents,"

"Usually?"

"There have been instances, but that's not important, help me now." Y/n ushered and nudged Jennie's ribs with her elbow who hummed. Her hand ran under the tee Y/n had on, caressing her warm skin as she looked at the screen before she went on explaining it to Y/n.

In moments like these, moments with the two of them together, when she was with Jennie. All that pain and guilt disappeared because it felt okay even if it shouldn't be. It just worked for some reason and that was unusual for Jennie because it never worked out for some reason. Maybe she hadn't been the problem but the girls she had surrounded herself with, Y/n was different from them. She wasn't one of those girls. She was much more and Jennie wanted to keep that around for as long as possible because it satisfied her.

"That's it?" Y/n asked in disbelief at how simple it had been all along, her hand grabbed hold of Jennie's and pulled it back down to her waist when she ran it to her breast. Jennie hummed and Y/n looked up at her, her eyes closing as she almost flinched when the latter placed a kiss against her temple. "You're welcome," Jennie said as the girl didn't thank her and scoffed instead, annoyed that she had spent so long trying to understand it only to get it in five minutes after Jennie explained it.

Jennie's eyes stayed on her, reaching her hand up to her hair and brushing it behind her ear. It made Y/n squirm when she kissed her ear, pressing it against her shoulder because of how it made shivers crawl all over her body. "You have sensitive ears." She had taken notice of how the girl would almost squeal when her ears got touched. It made her lean in again, tugging at it with her lips before blowing some air and Y/n pushed her away.

"Stop it."

"Does it turn you on?" She curiously asked.

"It does something, so stop it." Jennie decided to let her ears be for the meantime and instead looked over her seemingly perfect side profile. Jaw-defined, plump lips and an upturned nose gave Y/n an amazing side profile.

"You're so weird." She mumbled and turned her head to look at Jennie whose eyes she felt right on her. It was wrenching to feel her eyes on her this way, in a way that wasn't right in a house that was not hers. The way Jennie made her feel so many things, how she was able to make Y/n hate her in the span of a second only to have her begging for more the next. She knew where she had gone wrong. It wasn't when she cheated, but when she allowed Jennie to get tangled up in her sheets too and make it that much harder to leave.

"Why? I'm just being friendly." She shrugged, doing her best to avoid making it awkward because she was starting to get close to her. It was nothing new, the two pulled to each other like moths to a flame. There were just certain moments that made it too overwhelming for two people who were just fucking.

"Can I get to know you a bit better? I'm just curious." She broke the silence and crossed her heart, hoping it wouldn't turn out awkward. Jennie was genuinely curious about the girl who she only knew some things about. She wanted to know why she was drawn to her, what exactly was so different about her compared to the rest.

"What do you want to know?" Y/n gave in and closed the laptop as she had been at it the whole evening. It was close to 10 p.m. and she had been staring at the screen while eating too, leaving Jennie all quiet and alone. In the end, the latter agreed and knew that Y/n had to study.

"Where are you from?" Y/n put the device beside her on the bed

"Like what? Country, city or?" The question was one she had many answers to. It was all quite preceding that Jennie was trying to get to know her now after they had been in bed more times than she could count. It was preceding because they weren't supposed to have these conversations to start with but the longer they stayed the more they gave in to these new desires and stepped over more lines that shouldn't have been crossed.

"Everything."

"Chicago, moved here to study."

"That explains the accent." Y/n quirked an eyebrow at how quickly Jennie pointed it out.

"What? You say Cah instead of Car."

"I barely have it left after living in L.A.. You would be laughing if you met me when I first moved here." Jennie smiled at that, her eyes crinkling and she reached for Y/n's chin. She tilted her head up and left a peck on her lips before trailing over to her cheek, taking in the sweet smell of her skin. "There's still some Chicago left in those words, even the way you say Chi-cah-go." Jennie teased, mumbling against the girl's cheek and laughed when Y/n nipped her at the side of her ribs.

She pulled away and the girl looked somewhat annoyed. "Tell me more, are you truly American?" She prompted while looking into the grey in Y/n's eyes. This time it wasn't empty like it could be during certain moments that they shared. They weren't dead, Jennie hadn't killed the light in them yet. The girl looked like a model with her features, siren eyes, high and sculptured cheekbones, straight but slightly upturned nose, brown chestnut hair, and a defined jaw. It was her eyes and lips that always caught Jennie's attention the most.

"I was adopted from China by two people who I call mum and dad. I'm not Chinese though."

"You're adopted?" Jennie asked, taken aback by the answer from the girl who only shrugged her shoulders. It didn't change anything, but it made her realise that she didn't know her at all. It made her think about how other people knew Y/n much better, from one nerve ending to another, but yet only Jennie knew about her sins. She couldn't determine if it was better to know her for the outside or for the inside that was kept away.

Asher knew her, but he didn't know her. Not in Jennie's opinion. It didn't matter if he knew these things about her, Jennie knew her desires, she knew that she was cheating, and she knew Y/n better in her opinion, not Asher. He couldn't know her better when Jennie was the one who knew about her pain, shame, and guilt when she knew about these secrets kept from everyone else

"China's one-child policy. Dad is Volga Tatar, and Mum is East Slavic—but they reside in China or did at least. That's all I know." Jennie frowned at those words, something threaded in her, like a needle poking through and it did so a few times and made it tighter. Y/n didn't seem too bothered by it, but Jennie felt– she felt what? She couldn't pinpoint it. What did she even feel? She didn't like feeling things for anyone but herself. Jennie looked over the girl instead to get lost in the visual appeal as the outside was less complex. Surely her mother's genes won as she looked like a Slavic model.

"How old were you?"

"Five."

"Have you ever wanted to meet your biological parents or go back to your roots to learn about who you are? I've heard about how people feel like there's a part of them missing because they don't know where they truly are from." Jennie asked, being invested in it and Y/n frowned as she hadn't been asked about it before. She had been asked if she was curious about her biological parents, but not as deeply as Jennie decided to ask. It felt a bit too deep. She even sat up straight and removed herself from the girl, looking at her and waiting for the answer. She had heard things, but never really spoken to someone who was adopted. No one close to her at least.

"I don't know, I'm not sure, never really thought about it. I mean– I don't know, I grew up in a completely white household where we ate steak and mashed potatoes. I haven't thought about these things, my parents– Jennie...I don't know much and never really thought about it." She watched how the girl stumbled over the words, unsure of what she was supposed to answer. It was a never before answered question so she had nothing to truly say without maybe needing some time to think it through.

"It explains why it feels like a fur coat and hat is missing. You look like Irina Shayk but somehow hotter." Y/n giggled at that.

"I've been told that I do. Maybe we're related."

"Could be, but you'd make an amazing model or porn star," Jennie said as she looked over the girl's figure that she didn't mind being submissive at times. The things Y/n did to her, no one else could, truly no one else could because she had a hard time keeping an erection because of the standard Y/n had caused. It was more than physical, and skill.

"Okay, you always know how to give backhanded compliments." The girl clicked her tongue and averted Jennie's face to have her look away because her eyes were overwhelming. The older chuckled and grabbed hold of Y/n's hand, taking in hers as she looked the girl in the eye instead.

"That's all about me though. I don't know much more." She concluded.

"Okay, but you know that there are many ways to come in touch with who you are based on your roots." The woman brought it up, her fingers caressing the girl's knuckles, gently going over her skin as she found her soothing. It was like a natural drug for all her anxiety that she usually suppressed with drugs, but Y/n somehow brought it without really needing them. Maybe that was why she was sober at the moment.

"I do, never really done anything to do it though."

"Your parents?"

"They raised me as if I wasn't Slavic."

"If you want–" Jennie was cut off by the buzzing of Y/n's phone and the younger girl turned away from her. It made Jennie frown as she just dismissed her completely and got up from the bed with the phone against her ear. The frown only deepened when she heard the pet name which let her know that it was the guy.

It pissed her off, she couldn't pinpoint why but it did. Either because Y/n just forgot about her or because she forgot about her because it was Asher. He took Y/n's attention away from her. She just left the City of Sins, she walked right out the door and left Jennie alone to keep her secrets without any gratefulness for keeping them.

It didn't make sense, she shouldn't have answered if Jennie was right there to be with her. He could have waited until tomorrow when Jennie was gone. She took her phone and glanced at the door that was ajar as the girl had left the room. That anger kept bubbling in her chest. The girl never answered anyone's phone calls except his.

[A month ago]

"Why are you all over me!" The girl exclaimed in frustration, her nerves snapping like threads one after another. The constant feelings of the truth always kept her on the edge and got her angry much easier. Nothing wanted to work out. Her life was falling apart and she couldn't save any of the pieces as the quicksand right under her broken foundation was swallowing all the pieces before she could even grasp them.

"I'm not all over you, Y/n." Asher reasoned as he sat at the foot of the hotel bed. "You're the one being distant for no reason at all...I just wanted to spend some time with you alone." He continued and the girl groaned as she looked at the guy who was sitting. Fingers threaded through her hair in more frustration, somewhat shaky as she felt like crying. It was getting harder and harder to keep the tears at bay when the lump in her throat was like spikes. Everything made her emotional and she was losing her mind at times. Was it love or the drugs, or the damned truth that she was hiding?

She knew she brought it on herself. She didn't want him to be all loving, he made it difficult for her, she made it difficult for herself, and she hated that she hadn't been able to just leave the brunette or leave the guy.

She didn't deserve him and he didn't deserve someone like her, he deserved better. It hurt her, knowing that she no longer was everything he wanted her to be because she had grown selfish.

"I spend all my time with you, Ash. You don't let me breathe by constantly being right on me."

"The last time we did anything together was a good two weeks ago. We finally all leave together, no school, nothing to worry about and you push me away every second–"

"I don't push you away, Ash!" Y/n defensively let out despite knowing the truth. She couldn't help that she wasn't able to be around him without being swallowed by guilt, shame, pain, and despair; those feelings that only went away with Jennie. It didn't feel right when she was fucking someone else behind his back when she was thinking about the woman she was cheating on him with.

He inhaled deeply and messed up his locks as he ran his fingers through them. "Last time we had sex was over two weeks ago too, Y/n. You barely even want to kiss me." Her eyes hardened at that.

"So it's all about sex for you?" It was probably another one of the most selfish things she's done by turning it all around and making it his fault. It was something she was good at, it assured her that if anyone would leave it was her because it wasn't her fault, but his and he couldn't leave if he was at fault. She knew why she wasn't able to have sex with him. She'd be stuck thinking about how what he thought was just the two of them was all along someone else too. It felt unfair because she felt like dirt and didn't want it to get on him too.

"It's not, I didn't mean it like that–I just, Y/n...We just–" He seemed at a loss for words and Y/n scoffed.

"Fucking make up your mind." She hissed.

"I have made up my mind; you're fucking distant for no reason at all, and yes we haven't had sex for over two weeks which is quite frustrating too." He finally snapped back.

"Don't fucking cuss at me. If sex is all you fucking think about then there is the reason why I am distant. Maybe you'd show some more love than just in the bedroom." It was all bullshit, sex was never big in their relationship. She knew he didn't only think about sex. His love language was these small compliments and gestures that she had ruined, but it wasn't the sex that would happen twice a week if not once. The gestures lost their meaning when someone else was making gestures too and he wasn't the only one who did things for her.

If she was honest, she was the one who had constant sex and then getting home to be intimate with him twisted something in her because it got too much. It was just another excuse, she managed to twist it around to not make it her fault as she felt guilty enough. It didn't feel right to get out of one bed to go to another.

"I don't feel like fighting more than we already have." Y/n sighed as she grabbed her leather weekend bag as they had managed to arrive a good hour ago. The two were away from L.A. and in Milwaukee for the Summerfest with friends. It was yet another thing she had managed to ruin and blame it on someone else.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't fucking know, but you will ruin my whole fucking week if I stay with you." She grumbled as she wasn't up for staying with the guy. She wasn't able to do so without fighting with him for no reason at all and it would only ruin the whole getaway with their friends. Y/n didn't want to make their relationship worse than it already was.

"Fine, go then." She rolled her eyes at that, fed up with how much of a coward he was and always let her walk away. It felt pointless. He couldn't fight for her.

6:58 P.M. where are you?

Jennie put away the rolled-up bill while sniffling and looked at the message from the girl that felt weirdly random especially since she asked where she was and not if she was busy and wanted to fuck.

6:58 P.M. Hotel, what's up?

6:59 P.M. where though? im in Milwaukee

7:00 P.M. What're you doing here?

7:00 P.M. summerfest

7:01 P.M. Thought you weren't going. I'm in a suite in Milwaukee for the Summerfest I told you about it

7:03 P.M. well sue me but I forgot and there was a change of plans friend is working and got us free tickets do you wanna meet up?

Jennie looked up from her phone and bit her lower lip, the suite was empty of people and she quickly opened her contacts with another woman. It was a quick text that said 'don't come' before she opened her chat with Y/n as the model that she was supposed to be with during the weekend was long forgotten.

The thoughts were already swirling in her head and her hand that was resting under the hem of her boxers ran further down to her sweltering length that was coming to life from the imagination that would become a reality.

7:05 P.M. You cam come over I ill send driver

7:05 P.M. get the hand out of your pants :Location

Jennie quickly forwarded the location to her driver with details all while working on her dick. It made her last longer if she would jerk off before the girl came since she couldn't hold herself once she filled her cunt up. The snug and sopping grip of her pussy around her length, the way she would stretch her out, the sounds she would make, thinking about how she would colour her in her cum.

A breathless moan left her lips as she went right back to the chat with the girl.

7:11 P.M. Can't, so hard rn

7:13 P.M. when i get there I will let you empty your balls on my chest and face, let you fuck me on every piece of furniture, baby <33

When the girl arrived Jennie had just gotten out of the quick shower that she had taken after the release she had. "What's with the bag?" She asked as she pulled on a new pair of boxers, Y/n only glanced up from her phone as she was resting on the bed. Jennie adjusted herself and looked up at her to see her back on her phone again. The weekend bag hadn't gone unnoticed or the slight mood around her. Y/n always was unpredictable and Jennie was slowly learning for whatever reason.

"I had a fight and left, now I am waiting for my friend to get me a hotel room because most places are booked, but he knows some people." She simply explained, not going into detail although it was enough. Jennie frowned, grabbing her sweat shorts to put on too. It wasn't new to hear that the girl had fights with her man, but she had no clue what they were about although they seemed constant.

They never had been constant or serious at all before Jennie.

"He just let you leave?" She questioned and Y/n hummed.

"How can you be with someone like him?" Jennie asked, still baffled about how the guy was so easygoing and relaxed, especially with letting his girlfriend just leave. To leave without knowing where (leave to begin with), without knowing she had a place to stay, in a city miles away from home. He wasn't nearly a good enough boyfriend in Jennie's opinion even if he loved Y/n. Loving her wasn't enough and Jennie knew that.

"What does it matter to you?" Y/n looked up to see the girl dressed in a plain white tee and grey sweat shorts walking over to her.

"Just the fact that–" Jennie started and got up on the bed, crawling over to Y/n. She grabbed her knees that were raised and spread them open to make room between the slim thighs. The girl was dressed in a pair of loose jeans and a baby tee that clung to her body, her piercings protruding through the material. Y/n moved her phone away as Jennie nestled herself between her legs with a huff. "I wouldn't let that happen. I don't care if we fight, your safety matters more. You wouldn't get to leave" She finished and rested her forearms beside her head, leaning down and kissing along her neck.

"That's good, your future girlfriend will be lucky." Y/n's voice was monotone, not caring about what Jennie said as she tilted her head back while holding her phone up and still texting. Lips wetly kissed along the underside of her jaw and nipped, the woman inhaling the addicting sweet scent of the girl. "You're dating a coward, he doesn't even have the balls to stop his girlfriend from leaving him. It's pathetic." She mumbled, pressing further about how bad of a boyfriend she had as he didn't care about her safety but would rather let the steam blow off for his comfort. It wasn't what Y/n needed from Jennie's point of view.

"Good thing you have the balls to stop an army- just shut up about my relationship, it has nothing to do with you." Now she grew more annoyed than she had already been as she didn't like Jennie meddling in her relationship–pointing out the obvious and things that were just fine in Y/n's opinion. She didn't need an overprotective boyfriend although she wished he would man up a little–she blamed it on Jennie who had given her a taste of something she couldn't have. She had kind of hoped he wouldn't let her leave and give her reasons to stay—Jennie was somewhat right depending on how the situation would get handled.

She let out a grave hum as she pressed her heat against Y/n's, her dick slowly growing hard for the girl as she continued to kiss along her exposed skin. "It has to do with me when you decide to come after your little fights and talk about them." She trailed up, Y/n still holding her phone slightly above and beside Jennie's head with her head leaning more to the side.

"You asked, I answered, nothing more to talk about." She mumbled before her lips got captured by Jennie. The older woman tried to kiss her but it wasn't hard to realise that the girl was barely kissing back.

"Put your phone down." She grumbled and pulled away, pushing herself up with her palms planted beside Y/n's head–the girl took the opportunity to have the phone right in front of her face now. Her attention was undivided, staying on the phone, not listening to Jennie who was growing angry with Y/n ignoring her and what she had said.

"You can wait, I need to figure this out." It made something twitch in her when she told her to wait. She held back though and sat back on her heels as she licked her lips.

"You don't have to, you will stay here." She decided as she had nothing against sharing the suite with the girl. It would only come with benefits for them both and she would be able to make sure that the girl wasn't roaming the streets because her boyfriend was incompetent.

"Why would I stay with you?" Y/n asked with a chuckle as it would be too much to stay with Jennie, someone she was cheating with. They were just meeting to fuck, barriers would be broken if they stayed. They always parted ways after. No sleeping over, no cuddling, or spending time together.

"Cause I said that you will and so you will." There was that taste Y/n had grown somewhat addicted to.

Her hand reached for the phone and she took it out of the girl's hold who sat up right away. She turned it off and tossed it to the side.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Jennie?" Y/n asked, clearly annoyed as she tried to move to grab her phone again. It didn't mean that she would submit to Jennie just because she liked the taste of her power, the dominance in her. Y/n didn't lower her own.

"I'm doing what someone needs to do since you have no one to fucking pull you down to ground level." She gritted out and grabbed hold of the girl who managed to get a hold of her phone once again. The stubbornness was doing unthinkable things to Jennie who was using her all to not snap further at the girl because she didn't want to go that far with her. The last thing she wanted was for the girl to run back to her sorry excuse of a boyfriend.

"Fucking let me go before I leave and block you. I'm not gonna put up with this shit when I come here to fuck." The whine got stuck in her throat when Jennie grabbed hold of her jaw and stood on her knees, towering the girl and it worked enough to make her feel somewhat smaller. The only difference for Y/n was their height as Y/n was a good three inches taller, but Jennie had an advantage when it came to everything else. She could feel her fingers pressing into her bones at her jawline.

"If you come here to fuck you fucking listen to me too. I said that you stay here so you will. You give me your phone before I take it and smash it into pieces. Block me and your boyfriend will find out what you've been up to lately."

The threats left word after word, there wasn't a single stutter in Jennie's speech as she continued to stare the smaller girl down. She quickly grasped at her wrist when she tried to pry her fingers away from her face.

"Are you okay in the head?" There was a slight quiver in Y/n's voice and she couldn't figure out if it was because of the pain in her jaw and wrist, her free hand planted on her phone that rested under her palm, or if it was a slight fear. She wasn't sure what she was fearing more in that case. If it was Jennie, or her telling Asher what had been going on, or just what the two of them would cause at some point. The fire was already out of control for them, but it only grew bigger, stronger, and wilder while destroying everything on its way. It was destroying them.

"Yes, but you won't be if you don't do as I say. That's a promise from the bottom of my heart. I will ruin everything for you, Y/n." Jennie waited, her tone had been at the thin line of calm and furious. She had let Y/n get on her nerves multiple times and she was still holding back on her, but she didn't like how disrespected she had made her feel by ignoring her. She was growing exasperated with how little control she had over the weak girl yet she kept her as Y/n pretended to be more than the girl who was under Jennie.

"You have mistaken me for your ex or a dog or something Jennie." This time Y/n moved her face away, slipping out of the tight and harsh grip as she used the hand that was in Jennie's hold to push the girl away. That power held over her was overwhelming as she had no clue whether to submit to it or run away from it, she tried to push it away. Although, she had no clue where to run if she wanted to.

At that point; Jennie was almost confused about what had happened because no one had done that before once she threatened them with multiple things. No one had talked back to her once she had their grip on them. Jennie's threats were never empty sounds, but they seemed to go through one ear and leave through the other for Y/n. It left Jennie in a point of distress at the control she didn't have.

"I'm fucking leaving 'cause you must've fucking hit your head." Y/n scoffed out and sucked air through her teeth as she looked at her reddening wrist while getting off the bed where Jennie was sitting. It was as if she had been hit by Y/n as if she had been the one threatened and thrown to the curb. It didn't feel right at all. It was as if Y/n had bruised her skin and not the other way around. It was all wrong and didn't make sense in her head.

Y/n was scared, but she couldn't tell if Jennie was up for actually ruining everything by reaching out to Asher or not. It could all have been empty threats for all she knew and she wasn't going to stay to not find out, but she was going to leave to find out. Then maybe there would be a reason for Asher to finally break up with her and free her from the chains of guilt and shame. That hatred which had been growing in the pit of her stomach and spreading through her whole body. It was as if each nerve was fueled by hatred towards herself.

Jennie quickly got off the bed and with a few quick steps made it over to Y/n who was just about to exit the bedroom through the double doors. The control was flying out of her head as she fought for a control she wasn't allowed to her; the control over Y/n. "You don't get to leave, do you fucking hear me? I'm not your fucking boyfriend who will just let you walk out. You're gonna get your ass on the bed and fucking stay!" Jennie snapped and shoved Y/n into the door, the girl yelped at the pain. She reached for the vixen's phone and this time threw it across the room, her hand gripping onto her shirt and holding her pinned against the wooden door as she stared at the girl who looked at her with eyes that held an intensity she couldn't figure out.

Was this what Y/n wanted when she wanted her boyfriend to man up? Was this what she wanted when she wanted Asher to ground her, be what she needed and not just what she wanted? Everything that Jennie did. She didn't let her walk out the door like he did. Jennie fought for her even when she had no right to fight, she fought when she had no reason to do so. Was Asher truly the bad person for not being able to keep Y/n? Was he the one at fault for not doing it right?

She glanced at her phone that lay by the wall where there was a mark after it flew into it. "You broke my phone." She pointed out and clenched her jaw, not sure what she was more pissed about. Jennie or how she broke her phone, maybe both.

"I will get you a new one." She breathed out.

"You hurt me." She pointed out further as her wrist was pulsating, fingertips tingling as her blood flow came back.

"I will soothe your skin and give whatever you want...You have to stay because I care about your well-being and finding a room now won't be easy unless you want an unsafe motel–Please listen to me." Y/n heaved a sigh as Jennie's grip loosened on her, removing the pressure on her chest that she had from her forearm and pressing her into the wall. Jennie pleading with her.

It all was digging itself into Y/n's marrow, staining her skin with these kisses that bruised her, but it all felt like kisses and nothing else. It hurt at the moment, but then felt like much more right after, like soothing kisses and assurances of something so good that the low lows didn't matter. All that did was the high.

"Such a pretty girl, you take me so well," Jennie mumbled, holding herself up with one hand beside Y/n's head as she rolled her hips into the moaning girl. Her eyes trained on their conjoined heat, watching her thick cock disappear inside the girl before she almost fully pulled out and rolled her hips back in with fluid strokes that made Y/n's back arch. The girl took her snugly, letting out moans as Jennie's fingers rubbed at her clit while her swollen tip continued to caress her g-spot.

Y/n's hand grabbed hold of Jennie's shoulder, her orgasm closing in on her as the moans picked up. Jennie turned her head, her lips brushing over the bruised wrist of the hand that held her shoulder. She left a few small kisses on it, still feeling bad about how she had hurt the girl as she never intended for it to happen, but it just did. It wasn't her fault when she didn't control it. "So good for me." She mumbled against her wrist, keeping up the slow and deep thrusts.

Y/n was brought right back to that high as she pulled Jennie closer, her walls being stretched by the woman. It was all forgotten and all she could think about was the pleasure, the work put into everything else. Her grip fell to Jennie's shoulders and stopped the woman before they found themselves with Y/n on top of her.

All Jennie could do was admire the girl who rode her, watching Y/n rise up and down, gyrate her hips back and forth as she whined them perfectly. The vixen could feel Jennie hit the deepest spots in her, the ones no one else reached. "Fuck." Y/n breathed out, the brunette's thumb played with her swollen clit, her other hand playing with her breast that fit right in her hand. She tugged at the nipple, caressing it and cupping the soft flesh while watching her split the girl with her cock.

"You take dick so good, I just want to fill you until you're leaking, Y/n." Jennie breathed out, Y/n's nails dug into her stomach as she felt her walls clasp tighter around her. The girl's plump lips parted in a gasp, a cry following as her back arched, the sensation tingled through her whole body that turned ten times warmer when her orgasm washed over her.

Without stopping her movements, her ass slapped down on Jennie's thighs whose breathing ragged at how close she was. The walls were pulsating around her throbbing cock. Y/n leaned down and caught Jennie's lips, sucking whatever was left of her tar-black soul when she sucked on her tongue. Their spit connected as she pulled away for a split second to lick it up from Jennie's lips who let out a moan. With her head tilted her tongue met Jennie's again, the woman barely being able to breathe as her body convulsed into Y/n and her dick started to spurt cum into the condom.

The girl did stay for the week, lying that she was staying at a room in the hotel and she did but with Jennie who she only saw once she was back from being out with her friends and boyfriend. That was usually at midnight and when they woke up, it was spent with sex like usual. It did break some boundaries. It did bring them closer than before.

Jennie did get her a new phone and Y/n assumed it was another way to say sorry when she supplied her and her friends with free Ecstasy and coke. She wasn't complaining, she didn't have the energy to complain as nothing seemed to go her way either way.

She hated Jennie yet stayed and so it made her hate the woman even more.

The bruises disappeared and the pleasure came whenever they were right back in each other's arms.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @xszn @badasgff @badaspookie @hwm1hyun / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 2 months

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-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧-

1.6

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

chapter wc; 15.6k+

a/n; sorry for the long wait, i got busy and this chapter needed some extra work while proofreading and editing. fyi, the smut is a bit different in this chapter for the plot.

[One week ago]

There was one person Y/n called when her life was falling apart when it was crumbling and it felt like she had nothing left to live for. One person helped with that as Y/n couldn't grasp at what was happening. What her life had become and how each day it only fell apart more when she thought there was nothing more to crumble.

It was eating at her, the lump was present in her throat and her eyes kept getting warm every time she thought back to what had happened just a few minutes ago. The vixen stood leaning back against the brick wall while picking at her nails. It got hard to breathe, her skin felt itchy, and each breath felt like it was only stealing oxygen and not giving her any.

If the past wasn't important she was supposed to think about the future, but if the future was too much to think about, she was supposed to focus on the present. What was she supposed to do if all three made her want to punch at the grave concrete under her if she wanted to get cut open and bleed until there was no more pain left to bleed?

Y/n's fingers were shaky, her nose prickled with each thought, chest only heating up and clenching while she bit on her nails. It was one step closer to the edge, but it could have been a step off the edge and she knew that. Y/n knew that she had been lucky.

All she wanted was to go home, but she knew that she couldn't, Y/n couldn't seek comfort in her home. Not without being judged. She felt too ashamed, disappointed, and embarrassed with herself to seek comfort in people she usually found it in. Now she could only find it in Jennie because she knew that the woman wouldn't judge her when she told her the reason why. She wouldn't suggest rational solutions, but solutions that worked even if they were irrational.

Jennie had never been someone who would prioritise anyone else over herself or her business unless it would benefit her so even then she did it for herself. That was what was on her mind as she had been driving to pick up Y/n. This was for a benefit, seeing Y/n benefitted her.

How? That was something she couldn't answer, at least she couldn't give a specific answer.

Her elbow rested by the window, her cheek propped against her knuckles as she drove the car through L.A. The shades on her nose were protecting her sore and sensitive eyes, each blink only gave her a bigger headache and they felt dry. At times she felt like her body was crumbling, as if she was made of sand, grains falling with each step that she took until one day there would be nothing left. There wouldn't even be anything to remember her by.

Maybe she saw Y/n so someone would remember her once that day would come. It could be because she wanted to make sure that when she did overdose she wasn't going to be alone. Would it make any difference if she overdosed alone or not? She had no idea because the rot in her heart was slowly spreading, decomposing from the inside and falling apart more and more each day.

It was good, it made her numb. It would make her care less about dying alone.

Or maybe that was why she was driving to pick up Y/n. Because the girl made her feel. She wanted to lie and deny it, say that she didn't feel anything, but she did. It didn't matter what it was, what mattered was that it was for her benefit and not for Y/n's sake.

She wouldn't and didn't care about her otherwise.

She tried to tell herself.

Jennie had no clue why Y/n called her, she didn't even text this time but called and asked if she could pick her up. On the other end, she sounded vulnerable, there was that faint quiver in her voice that Jennie had heard a few times before–the times when Y/n had gotten scared of her. It was docile, she needed her, she truly did. Jennie would always take the opportunity to scoop up someone vulnerable, especially Y/n, it made everything so much easier.

She could take care of her and show her that only she could do it. Why else would Y/n call her if it wasn't because she knew that Jennie could fix all her problems?

Jennie stopped the car and looked out her window. There was the minx, dressed like a doll in a black pleated jeans skirt, patterned sheer tights, black leg warmers, black dollete shoes, and a tight-knit shirt that was stopping right above her belly button with small white ribbons on the sleeves. She bit her lower lip, watching the girl who was mindlessly twisting the little purse she had while biting on the nails of her free hand, her gaze stuck on the concrete beneath her feet.

The woman was about to honk so the girl would wake up and spot her to get into the car, but she stopped. Something made her feel bad for wanting to honk at the girl, it felt degrading in the wrong kind of way, especially when Y/n had been so fragile over the phone. It worried Jennie that she would collapse and break like a porcelain doll—It could be that she didn't want to treat Y/n the way she did with any other girl, she already treated her differently when it came to so many things. Never had Jennie driven across town for someone.

Y/n wasn't a whore she would honk at and wait for her to get into her car.

With a heaving sigh, she put her car in park and opened her door, getting out of the Maybach where the air was cooler and into the air that was warmer against her skin. She couldn't tell where Y/n was mentally because the girl wasn't even reacting to her door getting closed. Jennie shoved her hands inside the pockets of her jeans, dressed simply in a pair of light loose jeans, a white tee, and sneakers.

Maybe she didn't know what she was doing.

Maybe somewhere at the back she was scared but wanted to try, however, why she was trying would be something she wouldn't want to answer.

"Are you alright?" Y/n, at last, looked up, her glimmering eyes quickly blinked to try and get rid of the hot sheet of tears covering them. There was no stopping them though as she inhaled deeply and continued to try, but it only helped them to fall. She could feel herself falling with them as she snivelled. Was this the face that finally made Y/n give in and break down after holding it in to not look weak in front of anyone else? Why was it that Jennie destroyed the barriers around her heart and so easily got inside?

She couldn't even open up to her boyfriend this way, she couldn't break down this way in front of her friends most of the time. Even her best friend was difficult to open up now. It used to be different, but things had changed in her life. There was a godforsaken security in Jennie's disrupted peace and danger. She had willingly become prey to the gentle predator, but there was nothing gentle about Jennie until Y/n found herself being used to the bruises that felt like kisses now.

"No..." Her voice withered like red roses that hadn't been put in water and were left to rot on the counter. There was a rumbling in her chest, a rainstorm that waited to be let out, the thunder made her tremble with each strike. For a second her body wanted to disappear into the wall behind her when Jennie reached up to her face, her eyes hidden behind the sunglasses and her fingers always somewhat trembling yet she caught those diamond tears falling from the eyes that were like diamonds.

Jennie didn't know what to do, but she did what she could as she gently touched Y/n's skin which was like a thousand needles that intoxicated her and reminded her of why she kept chasing the high. These were the moments where she felt like she was guilty as if she had committed a crime and corrupted someone who never deserved it. She hated that Y/n could feel, that she still felt and hadn't gone numb from all the drugs and that she worked like an antidote and made Jennie feel.

Seeing that only wiping her tears wouldn't work Jennie did the next best thing she could as she removed her other hand from her pocket. She gently pulled onto Y/n who gave in without a single tweak of hesitance, no bone in her body resisting Jennie who pulled her into a gentle embrace, taking her without knowing what had happened. Somehow the woman always took her in no matter why Y/n was knocking on the door, she let her in before asking for explanations.

"It's okay." She tried to reassure her despite not knowing if it was okay or not, but empty promises always worked the best.

"It's not." This empty promise wouldn't work though and she could feel Y/n's breath that was hot with tears brushing against her neck. Her arms wrapped tighter around the girl's waist, her cold hands brushed over the exposed skin as she caressed it.

Y/n knew how bad it was. Jennie was like an allergy, she wasn't good for her and she knew it, but at the same time, she wasn't the lethal type so it never killed her to take more even if it made her feel terrible after.

There was something comforting about Jennie's soft scent of citrus and musk, it was alluring and it made it feel more like a home than Asher was and it made Y/n feel even worse on top of it all.

"What happened?" She questioned, showing genuine care because she wouldn't bother asking otherwise, not even to be nice.

Y/n took a shuddering breath and pulled away, Jennie's hands were still on her waist and Y/n held onto the woman's shoulders. Her one hand let go and she used her sleeve to gently wipe at the tears, the tip of her nose red, the tears stinging her eyes, leaving the colour of her eyes more prominent and filled with red.

Seeing that Y/n was still falling apart Jennie decided to start guiding her towards the car while thinking about what she was supposed to do next. It made a slight panic shoot through her because she didn't want to make it worse, but at the same time, she knew that she would possibly make it all worse. She had already ruined most of Y/n's life, hadn't she?

The easiest thing to do was to stop dwelling on things she wasn't able to change and just leave everything to burn once it caught a fire no matter how small it was and how easy it would be to put out and save from disaster. Instead, she let disaster unfold.

She opened the door for the younger girl, letting her get inside before gently closing the door. There was nothing casual about this anymore, but that had been the point all along. To have Y/n depend on her, but it was never a plan to feel any responsibility for it. It wasn't planned to be there once she did start depending on her.

There was a brief silence when Jennie got into her seat, watching how Y/n was picking with her fingers. Jennie tried to figure out what it could be, but she couldn't know so she waited. Her patience wasn't running thin with the girl this time and she at last pushed up the shades to the top of her head. The more she thought about it the more she realised how Y/n had faded into her, she had watched the entire time the way Y/n changed, how her wings got cut off and how she was becoming a version of Jennie.

It was the ugly truth and Jennie didn't like the mirror.

That could be the reason why she tried so hard to shatter the mirror.

"I got fired," Y/n mumbled, taking in a deep breath right after she let those words out. It crashed right on top of her at full speed, it destroyed everything, but it could have destroyed it and turned the ruins into ashes. She bit her lower lip, trying to tell herself that it could have been worse because it could couldn't it?

Jennie glanced over at the art gallery where she now got to learn Y/n worked at; used to work.

"Isn't that their loss though? I know it sucks, but you will be able to find something new."

Y/n let out a breathless chuckle and leaned her head back against the seat, her eyes staring at the roof of the car. The tears didn't want to well up anymore because there was nothing to cry about when it was all her fault in the end. Being fired wasn't the biggest problem, Jennie was right, although, there was a bigger problem to it all. The biggest problem was why she got fired as it made her realise at what type of bottom she truly was.

"You know–" Y/n started as she gently patted away the wetness from her eyes and pushed herself up to look at Jennie. It felt like she was looking into a mirror that showed her just how truly pathetic she was, but also showed her that she would suffer different consequences compared to someone as superior as Jennie. Y/n should have known her place. "They found a bag of coke in the staff room, on the floor so someone must've dropped it while walking in and out." The girl started, each word only making her realise how pathetic she was. Each word made her want to take the leap and jump off the edge to fall to an even more pathetic death.

"They drug tested everyone, and I mean every single person that works there to find out who brought drugs to work–" Y/n scoffed, her lips parted as she poked at the corner of her lips with her tongue. Jennie frowned and watched the way life drained from Y/n's eyes and maybe the girl was as partially numb as she was in the end. It was different to watch someone die first-hand and not do anything to stop it but only speed up the process.

"Out of everyone only I tested positive and got fired because it was my bag that I had been looking for the entire day yesterday, I was fucking shaking while looking for it." Her eyes left Jennie, there was no solace in the eyes that ruined her. The older one tried to reach for Y/n's hand to offer her comfort, to ease it and make her realise that she could make it better, but Y/n didn't let her.

"The worst part is that I wasn't shaking because I was nervous about testing positive, I was shaking because I didn't have coke." The vixen couldn't believe her own words, they made her want to sob as she each day realised how lost she was in this life that she entered with Jennie's help. Somehow she still refused to do anything about it because it felt hopeless and the only thing that helped with hopelessness were drugs and she ended up being in this violent loop that consisted of drugs, parties, alcohol, and of course, Jennie.

"Y/n–" Jennie tried, she wanted to stop Y/n before she realised how ugly it truly was getting. That was how she went through it, she avoided these mirrors of confrontation and loss, it worked, it truly did, but Y/n hadn't faded into her completely. In a sense, Y/n was much stronger than Jennie and didn't succumb to these desires. She tried to put up a fight even if she lost them every time, it didn't stop her from trying and that was how she and Jennie were different.

"Do you see how fucking pathetic that is? To be more worried about not being able to re-dose than losing your job and possibly getting into legal trouble."

"Did you get into legal trouble?"

"No, I got pitied, I got recommended to go to rehab, and I got fired with a promise of not mentioning it if anyone called for a recommendation because of how good of a worker I used to be..." Y/n trailed off, a bitter taste in her mouth, but one that wasn't the coke she had sniffed right before the meeting with her boss. Different chemicals were swirling in her, not just the coke, ones that were produced by herself and she wanted to stop the flow of her blood so she wouldn't have to go through it.

"It's humiliating, to get pitied and judged for your own choices." It wasn't as if she didn't know what she was doing. Y/n just didn't know how to stop it.

These were things she couldn't go and cry to Asher about, he would never look at her the same, he would judge or try to give rational solutions to her irrational problems. Jennie was different, Jennie gave solutions that caused more problems, but she also got rid of other problems without letting them bother Y/n in the meantime.

Although, somewhere deep within her, she knew that she had had enough, but didn't know how to draw the line and run back to where it started to start all over again and avoid the same mistakes.

"I know, I do–they don't know your reasons," Jennie understood Y/n, she knew where she was coming from. She reached over to Y/n this time, her hand finding its way behind the girl's neck who was biting on her lower lip as the tears were right back and weren't giving her a break. "They don't know you as I do, you can trust me Y/n, you can trust me to never judge you." Those addictive words spilled from between her lips, those words that were as alluring as diamonds and pearls, words that were worth more. Nothing was worth as much as knowing that she wouldn't be judged no matter how terrible it was.

She guided Y/n back into her arms, letting the girl cry on her shoulder, knowing that the tears she cried weren't just about this. Jennie could feel that Y/n was crying about everything in her life that had changed and acceptance of change had always been important. There was just a certain change that wasn't supposed to be accepted. The change was worse than better, but Jennie could make the bad look good.

Her fingers ran to the back of Y/n's head, giving her the comfort she allowed her to give and the girl hadn't openly broken down this way in front of her unless it was because Jennie had made her break down. She always did, she always built her up only to shatter the pieces and glue them back together.

For how long was kintsugi possible?

This time Y/n broke down willingly and without Jennie's force.

Her cheek rested against the side of Y/n's head as she stared off into the distance, drowning out the small cries to not feel more than she had. She could still only love Y/n for the night and that was it, this wasn't more than roleplay, that was what it was supposed to be. Yet Jennie's words left her genuinely and she hated it, but she was sure that Y/n was aware that no one like Jennie would ever show up for her.

There was only one of her.

No one else would ever be able to replace her.

It was another reminder for Y/n that there would never be another Jennie, that she would be the only one to not judge her and at the same time love her for the night.

She licked her lips and cupped Y/n's cheek, her palm gently stroking along the side of Y/n's neck as she pulled her away.

The younger one felt weak, it was draining and the tears didn't make her feel lighter. The burden was too heavy and she knew that the second Jennie left she would be back to carrying it all alone again and that was yet another burden she carried. It left her dependent on Jennie, it made her not want to leave the older's side and just thinking about it made her heavy.

They locked eyes and Jennie tilted her head. She tried her best to think what would work for the girl. She had never cared enough to do these things for someone because other people were never her problem. Y/n wasn't either, but she was someone she wanted to help out. At first, she leaned in but stopped halfway, her lips tingled to kiss the girl, but her brain was in too much turmoil.

Those lips that were swollen from crying, her teary and red eyes, Y/n looked once again as appealing as she always did, but she looked too pretty for her good when crying. The resemblance of a broken doll made Jennie yearn as she loved putting together the broken, to give it hope, only to destroy it after and then put it back together and create a dependence. An addiction that destroyed one of them.

It gave her a sense of power and control she knew deep down she no longer had over her own life, at least she could have it over someone else's.

"Do you want to do something to take your mind off of it?" Jennie offered in the end, holding back from kissing the sweet misery off of Y/n's lips.

Y/n knew what that meant, but she had none of the energy left in her because her body had been robbed of its soul and she felt like a walking corpse.

"Jennie, I just want to go home, but can't–"

Jennie wasn't going to let her leave either way.

"How about—I have an apartment like ten minutes away, do you want to spend the night?"

The ride was silent, Y/n tried to comprehend anything that was going on in her life, but chaos was too hard to understand, let alone control. Jennie's hand rested on her inner thigh, fingers tapped against her skin and she'd give small squeezes as she drove. The two ignored how they were both growing mould and were toxic to each other, but kept breathing it right in without stopping.

It was a different routine this time, Y/n had never been to any of Jennie's places, but she knew she had a few apartments, mansions, and whatnot. She had no clue which one was home. This one was on the top floor of the complex as they took the elevator up. The vixen had pretended that she didn't see Jennie sniffing coke on their way up, it always made her stomach flip nervously because the woman's every excuse was the fact that she was under the influence. She was more scared of the fact that she believed it.

Y/n didn't have the energy to flinch at these blind punches that would be mere inches away from her. She didn't have the energy to dissociate because Jennie's voice got too loud and the words too harsh. All she wanted was the other Jennie, the one she stayed for. It made her refrain from taking anything herself because it stirred things further. The girl embraced the trembling of her fingers and the itch that came with the need for drugs.

"Do you want to change?" Jennie questioned as they stepped into the apartment. The exterior was light, the floors polished, shining under the strong light that spread through the downstairs area that consisted of an open living room and kitchen, stairs that led upstairs, high ceiling windows stretched along the walls. It was relatively big, but not too big, and modern.

The woman removed her sneakers and turned to Y/n who was holding onto the wall with one hand while undoing her shoes. "Here..." Jennie trailed off and Y/n raised an eyebrow when the woman kneeled, grabbing her shin and placing her foot on her thigh.

"What's with the treatment, I'm not in the mood for exchanges." Y/n's fragile voice mumbled, a faint rasp behind it from the tears and the lump that was still somewhat present.

Jennie looked up at her as she removed the first one and put the other on her thigh. "Do you only see me as a horrible person?" She genuinely questioned, poking at her inner cheek while undoing the dollete shoe. The woman was aware of what she was, but she knew that she had been more when it came to Y/n. Yes, most of the time she only held Y/n close and took care of the girl when she herself was under the influence of Ecstacy because it let those forbidden walls down. However, there were times when she wanted to try and did, but in her way.

She wished she knew how to express herself in another way that wasn't the usual harsh way or the occasional soft way, but she had no clue how. It did work with Y/n at times to let it open because the vixen cared so little about status and power that it made it easier to let certain doors go.

"I'm quite sure I'm one of the few who sees you for more than that."

Jennie nodded at the foreign words, knowing that she was at some point going to throw all of it away and it wasn't her home to begin with. She slid the shoe off, her palm soothing over Y/n's ankle before she let the girl remove her foot.

"The bedroom's upstairs." She breathed out as she stood up and stepped aside, gesturing for Y/n to walk ahead.

"What's this place for?" Y/n questioned, being able to feel the emptiness of the place as a coldness lingered in the air with a scent that lingered with a lack of presence. She could tell that Jennie never spent her time here, she was quite sure that Jennie didn't spend too much time at home in general since she travelled a lot. At the back of her head, she had a clue what the place was used for, especially since it was conveniently close to Hollywood with some of Jennie's favourite clubs.

"For convenience...I let–close people stay here when they fly in and at times I sleep here to not drive from the hills."

Y/n rolled her eyes at the words that sounded unsure for a split second as Jennie trailed off. It had become easier to figure out when Jennie was lying, she had made it such a habit that it was seethrough–most of the time. Certain lies Y/n chose to believe because she wanted them to be true. If she believed that they were true it meant that she could stay even if they never were true.

Jennie promised she would never hurt and she kept it even if she scared her whenever she raised her hand. She had promised not to lay a finger on her, and she had kept that because she could hit her, she could beat her to a pulp, but she didn't.

She had learnt that Jennie's promises were always somewhat broken, but she kept parts of them and it worked.

"Do they usually leave in the morning?"

Jennie scoffed almost soundlessly at Y/n's words and their implication.

"Don't start things that make you cry."

"I'm not," Y/n quipped as she walked along the polished white wooden floors and made it to the stairs. "Why would I cry if I have someone waiting for me at home?" There was only one reason why Y/n said the words she did to Jennie. The reason was; to make it sting because Jennie made it sting by not having one girl, but multiple girls' waiting for her. Y/n was just another one who came over and somewhere outside her heart, Asher was still present, reminding her that she shouldn't care, that she shouldn't be here, to begin with.

That she shouldn't be another girl for someone at all, that she was someone's only girl–which wasn't true.

Or maybe that was the point; she was at least one of her girls when she could've been none.

Y/n winced, hissing at the pain of Jennie's palm landing against her ass. "Stop, asshole." She exclaimed, taking two quick steps to get away from Jennie.

"Make me." Jennie challenged, coming up right behind Y/n again as her palm landed against the other cheek. It was enough to make Y/n whine at the pain with a few more quick steps before she turned around to stop the woman from doing more.

"I will shove you down the stairs." She stopped Jennie, her sheer-covered foot gently planted itself against Jennie's chest to hold her back. The woman gripped onto Y/n's calve, hands wrapping around her slim leg as she looked up at the girl with a small smile.

"You will come down right with me." There was no need for Jennie to get pissed, not this time, not when she knew that she could make Y/n forget about the person waiting for her at home. She could instead become what Y/n yearned for when she was at home. Jennie knew that she occupied Y/n's mind whether or not the younger girl realised it. All the little things she looked at made her think of Jennie in one way or another, the woman was sure of it, or else Y/n wouldn't have called.

"Does death make you all smiley?" Y/n questioned and tried to remove her foot only for Jennie's grip to not loosen, making the woman give the vixen a haughty smile.

"Yeah, scary to think that it does and now I can just drag you down with me." Jennie teased, giving Y/n a gentle tug and the girl gripped the railing with both hands.

"I will punch you, Jennie, let go." She seriously said, but that serious facade was breaking down because Jennie's annoying demeanour was enough to make Y/n let out a whiny giggle. It was what ecstasy felt like, it was so close to the feeling of the drug that she had taken so many times now. Too many times; it was hard to feel any serotonin course through her at all. Although a lightness washed over her.

"You barely know how to punch, go ahead." Jennie let go with one hand, making Y/n try to remove her leg again to no avail. The woman reached her hand out, holding her palm open for Y/n to punch. The vixen's siren-like eyes landed on Jennie who gave her a nod of affirmation.

Jennie snorted at the fist that landed against her palm and Y/n frowned at how little it did when she punched. She removed Y/n's foot from her chest, hand running up and along the girl's thigh as she stepped up until she was on the same step as Y/n. "You're too cute," she mumbled with a breathless chuckle as she made Y/n wrap her leg around her waist. Jennie trapped her against the railing, holding onto Y/n's thigh and the railing behind her.

"It's cute now?" Y/n asked, her fingers tangled in Jennie's tee, the woman taking a step closer and pressing their bodies into the puddle of waste that they were. It stung, it mixed, it created one whole, one that worked out for just the two of them and no one else. It was a toxic waste, it wasn't breathable for anyone except them because their skin had built resistance after being destroyed throughout these months.

They had become ghouls of their love.

"Today." She concluded and tilted her head to the side before leaning in and at last, pressing her lips against Y/n's. It started slow before their lips parted to meet with their tongues and get tangled up together. However, that choking, overflowing feeling in Y/n's chest of overwhelming emotions couldn't be distracted for too long. Her job, the drugs, her health, her life, Jennie, Asher, this apartment.

It was all bothering her.

"Jen..." Y/n trailed off, pulling away and making Jennie take a small step back. The woman hummed, letting Y/n go who pushed herself up from the railing with a heaving breath. "I'm not in the mood." It was so much, the depressed state she had been in for so long made it hard to enjoy anything. Jennie's presence made it easier, the drugs too, but her wish for today seemed to be death and not even drugs could help with that unless it was to overdose and make the wish come true.

Y/n wanted comfort, but she was afraid that Jennie was the wrong person to come to and look for comfort. Asher would give it to her, but she hadn't been able to accept his embrace the way she used to. She felt too guilty accepting love from someone she didn't deserve, to take the care he gave her for granted, knowing that he didn't know that she found so much more in someone else even if it was bad for her and he wasn't.

Jennie licked her lips, thinking about what Y/n said. They had never met before while not being in the mood. It always came with sex. It was a break in the routine. It made Jennie nervous. Although, today maybe was the day where she didn't need to be a reminder to Y/n, where she didn't need to remind her of who she was because Y/n knew. The vixen knew what place Jennie held in her life because she called for her.

"Let's change, I will order food, and I have weed to last for weeks." Y/n let out a breathless chuckle of some sort of relief, contentment, and disbelief at the foreigner who grabbed hold of her hand. She hated it as Jennie intertwined their fingers, it made her nose prickle and she knew how close she was to the fall that would make her fly through the core of the earth. The one that would break her completely.

There would be nothing to pick up, to fix, and then destroy because it would all be dust and there would be nothing left of Y/n.

She wasn't supposed to see these sides of someone who wasn't good, but she always tried to see the good in the bad. To see potential for improvement was harder than letting go, and Y/n was stubborn. There were so many sides to Jennie, Y/n thought she had seen them all, but this was yet another one and it made her feel more bitter than sweet, it made her insides twist at how sour it was. It was worse than the bad.

Jennie was the poison, but Jennie was also the cure, and Jennie killed her, and Jennie brought her right back to life.

"I rather you change here," Jennie called out as she sat leaning against the headboard of the bed. Her fingers were busy rolling this time a blunt instead of a joint, the thick brown leaf getting filled by the potent flower that she had grinded.

She snivelled, her nose runny, permanently from injuries caused by herself. The itch on her skin burned, knowing that soon enough she would find herself in the bathroom, in too much shame to take a line in front of Y/n who wasn't snorting the powder that was Jennie's lifeline.

Each of these things she tried to ignore because she would dwell in regret and shame.

Y/n walked out of the walk-in closet while sighing, leg warmers already off and the patterned sheer tights too. It made Jennie hum, fixing the tray on her lap as she gathered the rest of the ground bud from it and packed it into the leaf, her eyes on Y/n who threw the shirt and sweat shorts onto the bed.

"Don't you have rolling paper?" She asked, pulling the knitted tight sweater over her head that had two small white ribbons on the sleeves.

"What's wrong with blunt wraps?"

"You have to slobber over them like a rabid dog for them to stick." Jennie chuckled, eyes trained on Y/n's chest who undid the black push-up bra. It fell off her shoulders, revealing those perky small breasts that Jennie loved so much. She shifted in her place, hand momentarily coming down to adjust herself because Y/n made it hard to resist and now it felt even weirder knowing that she would have to hold back on getting her dick wet.

The dynamic no longer made sense, it was corrupted, it was peaceful and that created chaos on the inside of both of them.

"I will dry it with the lighter, star," Jennie reassured the girl, eyes falling on the ribs that had gotten more prominent than when she first met Y/n when the vixen pulled the shirt over her head. Stretching her lithe body. It made her release a breath and look down at the blunt she was rolling to ignore the slight and tiny pull on her crumbling cold. She looked back up at Y/n who slid out of the skirt, a matching pair of black underwear and she pulled on the black material shorts along her slim and long legs that were glowing.

"You look good in my clothes."

"I look good in everything." Y/n corrected and climbed onto the bed, crawling over to Jennie who finished wrapping up the blunt. The vixen put the tray aside on the bedside table, throwing her phone to the side as it bounced on the bed.

"The best in your birthday suit." Y/n scoffed at the words and laid down between Jennie's legs, leaning against the woman's chest, her head resting by her shoulder.

Time ran, but it felt slow in a good way, Y/n didn't want it to speed up as they smoked, not wanting it to near tomorrow and the worries she would have to face. The vixen wanted to continue running from her problems for as long as possible while dragging the source of her problems along with her, hoping she would outrun them. With Jennie there with her, they would only continue coming in, piling up, until a tsunami of problems would drown her once she got tired of running.

The food tasted like food for the first time in ages in her mouth, but maybe that was the weed all while Jennie insisted on feeding her. It was a feeling of paying back, it felt like Jennie was running these miles so Y/n could rest for a while, carrying her on her back as she ran for the girl from those problems even if she was the reason behind most of them.

It only mended a part of the cold in Jennie, but it kept melting.

Y/n fell asleep right in her arms without a warning and at times she wondered what it would be like if she decided to die in her arms. She already had died in Jennie's arms, in front of her eyes, the woman had watched a soul crumble and be left torn and patched up with tar that only made it ugly.

She half sat, half laid, Y/n's head on her stomach as the younger lay curled up next to her. There was only so much she knew how to do right and soon it would all fall apart again. It wasn't a dread, it wasn't a guess, it was something she knew. Her fingers threaded through the girl's hair, brushing it away from her face that was too pretty not to admire before running it under Y/n's shirt. Her fingers gently traced patterns along the waist and back as the girl slowly and deeply inhaled and exhaled.

The billionaire couldn't sleep, the coke was keeping her awake as she had inhaled more the second Y/n fell asleep. It was hard to tell what brought her comfort if it was Y/n or the drugs. It mixed up in her mind, it left her confused, so she did both to not have to risk losing a high in case it wasn't Y/n. Y/n was as much of a drug as any other substance.

The room was still dim with smoke as Jennie continued to smoke alone, wanting to smoke until her brain was dissociating, but that was impossible because of her high tolerance. It felt good when it felt like her brain was melting because it let her sleep through the night.

The buzzing disrupted her, Jennie's eyes quickly darted away from Y/n and to the vixen's phone which had an incoming call. It made her pull her hand from under the shirt and reach over to take it, that green branch smacked right against her chest at the caller. She stared until he stopped calling, glancing down at Y/n who was asleep. The smoke thickly trailed into the air and hugged the ceiling when she exhaled the cloud.

There was no need for him to call when she was there for Y/n when Y/n was sleeping and not thinking about him. The second it started to buzz again, Jennie completely powered the phone off before tossing it onto the floor as it landed on one of the pillows discarded there.

"Where's my phone?" Y/n asked when she woke up, still rubbing at her eyes as she wanted to check the time. The natural light of the daylight had turned into the light of the moon, but somewhere along the lines, it was still the sun shining because without the sun the moon wouldn't shine. Jennie shrugged, knowing that the phone was on the floor under a pile of her clothes and pillows after she had gotten up to change into boxer shorts and a new tee.

"What do you need?" She asked, leaning back against the headboard. Her eyes watched Y/n's every movement and the girl looked over her shoulder to meet Jennie's gaze. It made her blink her eyes to clear her vision that was a blur, still high despite sleeping.

"Time–" Y/n started and moved around until she faced Jennie, sitting back on her heels.

Jennie took her phone that was on the nightstand and turned it on, showing the screen to Y/n. 10:16 P.M.

"I need my phone to text Asher." She mumbled, knowing that he would be worried. Y/n knew that he already was since she should be back home by now. She ended work at 7 P.M. and had yet to show up or even text. It was enough that she was breaking all promises she had ever made to him–it made her realise that Jennie was exactly what she deserved. Someone who would break each promise the way Y/n did.

The minx moved, her movement languid, somewhere between conscious and unconscious just like she always ended up when she was with Jennie. Whether it was substance or her brain dissociating because of how Jennie could get.

"You don't need it," Jennie stated and grabbed hold of Y/n's forearm when the girl was about to climb over her to look for her phone.

"I do though." Y/n dragged out her words, tired and whiny, trying to go against Jennie and still climb over her.

That was enough for Jennie to force her back, shoving Y/n down onto the mattress. Despite its softness, it was harsh enough to make a squeak fly from between Y/n's lips. She bunched up Y/n's shirt, staring down at the girl with her head tilted to look at her better as she was still sitting by the headboard.

"I feel like you intentionally keep forgetting what I told you, Y/n–you're with me and do not need your phone. You listen to me or I won't show up for you next time and then you can go and cry to your boyfriend about being fired for being an addict."

Somehow Jennie knew exactly what to say and Y/n tried to trail back to where she took the wrong turn. She never did take it, Jennie forced her to take it, and the woman forced her walls down. Where the older's fist was pressing down against her chest, Y/n held onto Jennie's forearm, the woman was ready for Y/n to try and fight back like she always did. The pressure grew on her chest, not because of Jennie, but because of the words that started to fall against her body like heavy bricks. They were crushing each bone in her, tearing her skin apart, leaving her to die under a pile of bricks.

It somehow wasn't as satisfying as Y/n fighting back when the girl just let go of her arm. She had taken notice of how much easier Y/n started to give up at times, how she succumbed and didn't put up a fight. The girl was like a marionette who didn't try to come to life anymore but stayed under the control of the puppet master.

She was too tired for it today, her life was already torn and the last thing she wanted was for the only bridge left to burn. Y/n couldn't afford to make Jennie angry today even if it meant lowering her pride for the woman.

Her docile eyes which were starry and glistening like spotless windows looked up at Jennie. "Please? I will just send a quick text saying I'm at a friend's." These were things Y/n would never ask for permission for, but here she was, too scared not to ask for Jennie's permission. There was that faint rumbling fear, it was like an incoming storm. It wasn't there yet, but she could feel it approaching. The clouds turned darker, the wind got colder and harsher, the leaves rustled louder, the air turned heavy, and everyone was seeking shelter, but the storm wasn't there yet.

Jennie's eyes moved along Y/n's face and eyes, reading her and looking for solutions in the eyes that were filled with problems. She had no real solutions for Y/n, not ones that went by the book. "You have two minutes once you pick up your phone–" Jennie let go of the girl who sat up. "It's on the floor." She huffed and leaned back against the headboard, watching Y/n's frail-looking body get off the bed and push the clothes aside until there was a small clatter and she picked up her phone.

The woman reached over to Y/n and grabbed the girl's tee who was focused on the phone that was turning on. The time was ticking as Jennie had checked before pulling Y/n who blindly followed until she was in Jennie's lap, straddling the woman while quickly trying to navigate through her phone and send the texts which was difficult with Jennie's hands groping at her body and lips finding its way to her neck.

Just as she sent the lie to her boyfriend her phone got yanked out of her hold and it landed back on the floor. The woman made Y/n feel disrespected, but she had grown used to it, knowing that there was a disregard for her feelings as long as she didn't listen to Jennie.

"Jen–" She tried to push her away, still sleepy and all she wanted was to go back to sleep to forget everything. The woman grabbed hold of Y/n's hands, stopping her from pushing away and she continued to kiss along her neck.

"Just a quick one, baby, you don't have to do much." She mumbled against Y/n's neck before pulling away and guiding Y/n's hands to hold her shoulders. "I will make you feel better." The woman reassured her and ignored those tired eyes as she kissed Y/n who kissed her back. Their tongues met, Jennie, swallowing the vixen's mouth as her hands gripped onto the girl's ass, helping her move against her growing erection.

And there it was, that feeling; she felt like she was paying with her body once again for all the things that Jennie did for her today.

Jennie liked the normal routine and sex was all that it was, wasn't it?

That should be reassurance for Y/n yet it wasn't.

The sea swallowed Y/n who always gave in by the end of the day, letting the high tide drag her with it. Her hand ran between them as Jennie continued to move her tongue against Y/n's, their bodies moulding and building a house that would never be a home. She snaked her hand under the waistband of the silk boxers, her own body reacting to Jennie's touch, it wasn't electrifying, that wouldn't be good enough and they deserved better than that. It burned, it melted, and it left an ugly mess.

Her hand wrapped around the cock that was growing harder, warm in her hand as she slowly started to stroke it. Jennie groaned into the kiss, pulling her mouth away from Y/n with her hands running under the shirt and up her waist. Her lips; were cyanide, scarring the tissue of Y/n's flawless skin; turning its flawless beauty into flaws that she loved so much more.

The heat in their bodies grew, Y/n's hand worked on Jennie's cock while the woman found the supple pair of breasts. The grip was somewhere between harsh and tender as the vixen had learned to find tenderness in Jennie's callous behaviour. Those warm and familiar hands groped at her chest, feeling each inch, fingers tugging at her nipples while lips continued to paint her neck in desperate kisses and fanning breaths.

"Remove your bottoms, Y/n." Jennie rasped, her voice dropping to the lust-filled desire to devour Y/n's body whether with grace or sin, there would always be a middle for her. In the end, she found herself in a home she did not belong in and she would always find a way to break right into Y/n.

The girl listened, getting off of Jennie who pulled the boxers down, taking out her leaking cock as she worked her hand along it while watching the girl slip out of the black shorts and underwear.

Was there an ounce of passion? Jennie surely had a passion for destroying the perfect. There was something more beautiful about things that were ruined after they had once been beautiful. The story was deeper, it left people more curious, everyone wanted to know the reason behind it and only Jennie would know it.

The vixen discarded the bottoms to the side and crawled back into Jennie's lap who pushed up the shirt to have a clear look of the girl's heat that made her dick throb. "So pretty' can't get enough of any part of you." She mumbled, her hand coming down to run through Y/n's fold while burying her face back into the girl's neck. The touch and kisses that she spiked through her skin across her neck were like needles, but they released all the pressure in Y/n instead of hurting her.

Jennie was the predator, she was the bear, and Y/n was the deer, Jennie ripped the flesh off Y/n's neck, devoured it, and licked with utter passion to soothe it and her hunger.

It made the girl hum at the fingers that ran through her slit, spreading her folds and gathering the slick. Each stroke and touch brushed away the worries of tomorrow, and the sorrows of today, and painted a temporary paradise where sin was forgiven until the paint washed away and they would have to face the consequences of their actions.

"Condom." Y/n pulled away when Jennie's fingers disappeared from her heat that made sounds elicit from her lips. She had pulled her in only to get stopped, not being able to paint all those worries and sorrows away because Y/n would always stay at least with one foot in reality.

Jennie heaved a sigh, poking at the inside of her cheek as she pulled away and pulled open the bedside drawer. Y/n's lips gently traced along her ear, kissing down her cheek and jaw while the woman finally stumbled upon the wrapper. With the vixen in the way she used her teeth to rip it open, her cock resting heavily against her abdomen while drowning in the much more serene kisses that Y/n left on her sinfully flawed skin. It was burning Jennie, it was solace somewhere along the way up from hell and it felt so wrongfully right that it made her see how unfair it was even if it shouldn't be. Those kisses made her skin flawless while hers left flaws.

Her hand gripped the back of Y/n's head, fingers tangled in the silky waves whose scent was as sentimental as the sky at dawn. Nothing felt right and Jennie continued as she pushed Y/n closer to drown in more denial, knowing that she would be the eclipse of Y/n's sun.

The vixen's hand ran up to Jennie's grabbing the condom from her all while her lips continued to shower the depraved of care skin. It was crackling, that little warmth in Jennie who wrapped her arms around the girl's waist after she slid the condom on. It was so blinding that Jennie didn't grasp the fact that she had no control at the moment and that there were certain things she would never be able to have control over. Those things ruined lives and also built them with meaning which Jennie knew she had none.

Y/n's arms circled Jennie's shoulders after guiding the tip to her entrance and slowly sinking. It came with moans, whimpers, Jennie burying her teeth into the girls shoulder to try and save her own dignity as she hadn't needed to do it before. The picture of her felt like it would be ruined, but there was nothing she could do about the way Y/n slowly moved and slowly scraped away the tar that was blocking anything from coming inside.

Jennie wished that she was less sober at the moment.

The girl on top of her moved her hips, up and down, gyrating, the heat built up quickly despite the languid movements. Y/n pulled back, her hands cupping under Jennie's jaw, making her look up and let go of that dignity before their lips met. It stung, the stretch always did, but she made space for Jennie despite the pain it caused. The sounds were lewd, their moans breathy, muffled, swallowed by each other and spat back out.

The woman bunched the shirt that belonged to her in her fists, Y/n wearing it and infecting it with her scent just like she had done with her sheets. That brush moved and painted, but maybe this time it did more so for Jennie than Y/n, but the woman couldn't know because she was too far in the deep sea of the suppressed things even drugs hadn't been able to bring out.

There it was; Y/n was the thing that brought her to a high and not the substances that she took.

The vixen picked up her speed, their parted lips only brushing as their eyes closed, reeling each other in at the bottom of the ocean, not bringing each other up to the surface but finding the peace in drowning. They found pleasure in the burning that their lungs did each time they inhaled the cold and salty water, welcoming it inside to kill them. Jennie felt it build up, the pressure of being so deep; deep within Y/n and it was enough for Y/n to snap from the reel.

Y/n moaned, her nails digging into Jennie's flesh that felt less tainted for a moment as her body trembled in the woman's hold. For a moment Y/n felt good, she felt like there was a way to get to heaven, but she knew that once she would float back up all her bad would be present again. The girl could barely catch the sounds, but they pushed through as Jennie let out a guttural moan, releasing her to float back up to the surface.

They both panted for air as Jennie helped Y/n off of her. She removed the condom, discarding it to the floor for the time being. The vixen exhaled through her nose, running her fingers through her hair as she bit her lower lip and stared at the flat screen that was black, merely reflecting them as it hung on the wall across from the bed.

The woman felt like she was in a daze as she slumped down in the momentary silence that left her thoughts too loud. All she did was wait for Y/n to drown out those thoughts with her voice while she buried herself in the sheets with the minx beside her.

"When was the last time you were sober?" The question left her lips before she processed it and she barely had the guts to look over at Jennie at the moment. Her body still felt warm in the cold presence. She couldn't help but wonder when the last time the woman was sober was. This was one of the few times where Jennie wasn't fucked over by drugs. It let Y/n think of the possibility that there was potential for improvement in Jennie since the illicit substances were what controlled the woman's life and not the other way around.

"I don't know."

It was as if she threw the words at her and then left with how indifferent they were. Y/n at last looked at Jennie who lay on the bed on her stomach, hugging the pillow while resting her head on it. The older one looked up through her lashes, meeting Y/n's eyes that were faintly bloodshot from the flower.

"Even for a day." Y/n prompted, wanting to know the last time she was without anything at all even if it wasn't for a longer period. She moved down, making Jennie shift to let the girl come closer who laid down with her cheek resting against the latters back. Y/n's fingers gently traced along Jennie's shoulders who hummed as she closed her eyes.

"Like—" She started, thinking hard, thinking back to what it used to be, but she couldn't remember what her life used to be. Perhaps she didn't want to remember what it was like because it felt like it was worse before Y/n appeared. She had a feeling that Y/n would be her verdict, her death sentence. Along the way she helped Y/n climb the ladder of problems, addictions, and despair while slowly climbing down hers to catch the time she had wasted and make up for it with Y/n. "2 years ago." Was the last time she could remember that it wasn't as bad as it was now.

"Don't you want to quit?" The girl mumbled, her cheek pressed against Jennie's upper back, her fingers still running over the skin that radiated its warmth through the tee she had on. Her hand got grabbed by Jennie's, still playing that dangerous game of hating what felt good when their fingers tangled and Jennie soothed her thumb over Y/n's slender fingers.

"Why would I? There's no good reason for me to quit."

Y/n could hear the forced indifference in those words. Perhaps Jennie was trying to convince herself that she did have control over her life and that it wasn't the drugs that had it.

"Your life?"

The woman opened her eyes and looked at the hand she was holding near her face. An invincible string pulled them closer and it would always be prone to snapping out of unfortunate timing for both of them.

"You only live once."

Y/n was genuinely curious, lost in a burning forest and she couldn't figure out if she wanted to lose someone to drugs or lose herself even more to drugs. "You only love once too. Do you want to lose someone you love by choosing drugs over them?" Her voice fell lighter, close to a whisper as she could drown once again and fall asleep right where she was. Her skin caressed, their legs tangled, and the mistakes buried in a temporary grave because they would come back to life to shine their misery on them.

"That's why I don't stop. A person I love can leave, drugs won't. Drugs will be there even when I'm dying because of them, even when I did wrong, they won't leave and will stay."

"At least you got to say that you truly loved even if they leave."

Was it their age? Was that the problem? Was Y/n trying to live in a dream even if it had turned into a nightmare? She was shooting at stars in the daylight with these words that would be ridiculous to Jennie.

"I don't care about love or anyone. Drugs and money are good enough." Jennie's voice turned into a slight rasp, weaker by the second as she wanted to end this night with Y/n even if they would wake up and part ways in the morning and not see each other again for a few days or a week.

"That's not how it works." Y/n was able to read through these lies, they made no sense.

"What do you know?" She briefly tilted her head and Y/n lifted hers, meeting Jennie's glossed-over eyes. It was from the weed. Y/n used her free hand and brushed away the stray strands of hair that fell over Jennie's eyes and cheek before she leaned down. Her lips ghosted over the warm skin and she pecked by the woman's ear before she spoke.

"A truly selfish person wouldn't admit to being selfish because it would destroy the purpose and they wouldn't be able to be selfish if people around them knew. You're not selfish, but scared of whatever that it is."

"Don't tell me what I am, Y/n. You don't know me."

"That means that you don't know me either." Jennie scoffed and laid her head back down, closing her eyes to brace herself for sleep and forget this conversation by tomorrow if she could.

"I don't care, I don't want to know you for more than I do." She couldn't help but to think about it because she wanted to know Y/n better than anyone else and was sure that she did. The doubt grew though with Y/n's words because maybe Jennie had deluded herself into thinking that she did when she in fact never had known her better than the rest. It irked her to think that someone like Asher knew the girl better. She knew Y/n for the real person that she was. There was no way that anyone else did.

At least she got to sleep with the girl right there beside her.

[Present]

"I need you four to step aside now."

"Great," Y/n groaned as she and the three other girls were told to get out of the line they had been standing in for a good 20 minutes now.

"Listen, it's not mine or Leilani's fault that the edibles kicked in now and they think it's something else," Lisa whined through her giggles to the two other girls who looked frustrated over the time they had wasted.

"As if there aren't people doing lines in their bathroom right now," Alexis complained and threw useless glares towards the bouncer who was letting other people in.

Y/n stepped aside from the three girls and reached for her phone from the small purse she had. The wind was warm against her skin, dressed in a cropped halter top that was black, a leather jacket, and a leather mini skirt with leather heeled boots that hugged her legs and stopped under her knees, making her a good four inches taller.

"What're you doing?" Lisa asked, Y/n flinched when the girl came up from behind her and she clutched her phone to her chest to hide the chat she had just opened. The girl hugged her from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder as she was in a similar pair of boots.

"Nothing."

"Let's try another club."

"Wait, I just have to check something first." Y/n simply replied and her friend shrugged as she pulled away and turned to the other two who were bickering.

10:45 P.M. hey, it's me <33

Y/n never let up on the offers as long as Jennie was offering and Y/n wasn't the one asking, but just accepting. She would never ask herself if she could get her into clubs, Jennie was the one who had brought it up and did so soon after they started to see each other. It wasn't hard to notice that Jennie gave into every little thing too. She looked back at the club that was always piling with people.

10:47 P.M. I feel like there are two reasons for you greeting me nicely

10:47 P.M. ok fine me and my friends aren't being let inside the usual club they took edibles that kicked in right before the entry, now they won't let us in they don't want any drugs on the property despite it being legal edibles they think it might be something else :/

10:48 P.M. Are you outside right now

10:48 P.M. yes babe

10:48 P.M. Ok, just give it a minute

10:48 P.M. thank you

10:51 P.M. I will find you later

10:51 P.M. you're here?

10:52 P.M. Usually am on the weekends if am not busy

10:52 P.M. ok

Y/n turned off her phone and looked at her friends before walking over to them. "I fixed an entry." She informed them which made all three heads turn to her, inspecting the smile that had appeared on her lips after she had walked around the whole day without an inviting expression. The resting bitch face of the girl was gone, smiling through the melting feeling of her brain and how out of touch she felt with reality. Y/n was doing her best to push aside the anxiety gnawing at her flesh, ripping it to shreds.

Taking the ecstasy with Jennie had been a terrible idea.

Keeping so many secrets was even worse; her job, Jennie, her life, and her health.

There was nothing left to live for.

"How?" Lani questioned and before Y/n could answer their attention was caught.

"You're Y/n, right?" She looked past her two friends who stood in front of her and at the blonde who she had seen once before. It was the same blonde who had handed her the water with ecstasy and she had a hard time pinpointing who she was to Jennie. It was somewhere between a manager, maybe a friend or some kind of employee. She wasn't sure if she knew about her and Jennie.

"Yeah."

"Come on." They followed right after her, Lisa clung onto Y/n as the two walked after the two shorter girls in front of them. The woman stopped by the bouncer who was wrapping paper bands on people's wrists for entry.

"You four will get these entry passes. They are standard entry like all but with entry to the lounge area with booths plus the private bathrooms there and the bar in the lounge." She explained while showing the red wristbands where it said V.V.I.P with the club's name. The two at the front were already getting theirs put on while Y/n and Lisa waited for them to enter.

"Who the fuck did you text?" Lisa asked right by Y/n's ear.

"No one."

"Someone," Alexis commented over her shoulder and Y/n felt like punching Jennie for doing this to her.

"Who are you sucking off for the princess treatment?" The vixen rolled her eyes at the question from Lisa. It wasn't the first time and Jennie wasn't the only person. Y/n was well aware of her pretty privilege and hadn't bought a drink for herself ever since she turned 21 because everyone always paid for her and some granted her entries.

This was quite the entry though.

"Literally no one, you know how guys just give me whatever I ask for." Lisa hummed and let go of her before stepping up to the woman who skilfully put the paper wristband on her before letting her step inside.

She sighed and walked over, holding her hand out, her wrists being covered by concealer and foundation to hide the bruises. It took a lot longer to get out on a Saturday night because of Jennie and even longer considering she had to avoid her friends seeing them. Y/n glanced up at the stare she felt to see the blonde looking over her as she placed the band around her wrist.

"Have fun." Was all she said and Y/n didn't say anything or smile as she stepped inside before getting grabbed by her friends who dragged her while asking questions she couldn't answer.

11:08 P.M. are you serious?

Jennie looked at the message she got from the girl. The electronic pop music wasn't as loud at the lounge where she sat like they usually did. It was still loud enough for it to travel through the hallway and stairs that led to the area and make the beat pound through her body and feel it in the floors. Friends and people she was acquainted with sat at the open booth with bottle girls tending to them. Many of them just wanted an entry and free drinks. She didn't care much anymore as she had her circle, but let people leech off of her to not feel too alone.

11:09 P.M. What?

11:11 P.M. i asked for an entry not reasons for my friends to ask who i am sucking off for this treatment

11:12 P.M. Should've just told them the truth since you like to take my cock so much

11:12 P.M. go kill yourself

11:12 P.M. You sure?

11:15 P.M. yes.

She put her phone down and looked past the bottle girls who weren't entertaining her at all. The table was placed for her to be able to see the whole lounge which was half-filled with different high-end guests. Celebrities to socialites. Jennie owned half of the club. She liked to feel involved, but they only ate at her like parasites.

The drink in her hold was getting warm from how she had been only holding onto it and barely drinking. It got removed from her hold and she only glanced at her manager and manager before looking back just in time to see four girls make it up the stairs while laughing.

With her eyes on the vixen, she turned oblivious to everyone else to notice what her friend was noticing.

"She isn't someone for you, Jennie." Chaeyoung, Jennie's manager who became a friend over time interrupted the eyes that were lacing with hunger over the girl. She took the new cold drink that was handed to her, but she wasn't planning on getting drunk tonight. Three or four drinks would suffice because she wanted to drive home herself.

"Why not?" Jennie questioned as someone like Y/n was perfect for her. The girl was someone worth showing off proudly which was why she didn't understand the girl's boyfriend or how she could settle for him. Not only was she able to get Jennie hard from just being there, but she was so much more. She was smart, funny, and sharp-witted, and she knew how to put up a fight without succumbing to every little word most of the time. She wasn't tameable but had a sharp tongue and a stubborn mind. Everything Jennie hated, but found riveting about no one else but the black cat that the girl was.

Then there were those moments where Y/n gave up and they were just as satisfying to watch.

"She's the centre of attention, she's a supermodel. You're so busy staring like everyone else that you don't even look around to notice that everyone else wants her too." Chaeyoung said the obvious because when Jennie was busy staring and thinking she was the only one heads turned to the girl who walked alone to a booth with her friends heading over to the private bar that was in the lounge. They turned towards all the girls, but Y/n's looks and aura seemed to be the light everyone was drawn to.

They were all moths to her flame, but Jennie knew that Y/n was a moth to her flame.

"Why would I want something else?" Jennie ridiculed Chaeyoung as she never settled for less, this was way more than what she usually settled for though. Models came in almost all shapes and sizes, but none came the way Y/n did. Not in Jennie's eyes at least. "Imagine the looks when you enter the room with someone like her," she wanted for people to talk about more than just her money.

People already envied her, she couldn't even imagine how envied she would be because of someone like Y/n by her side. Especially if she made her into a star first even if she wanted to keep her to herself. It would make her an even more worthy possession.

Chaeyoung scoffed and took a sip from the small plastic straw as she looked where Jennie was looking to see the girl's head over to the lonely star. Not far after a bartender with a tray filled with what looked like white tequila shots.

"You don't handle jealousy well at all. She doesn't look or seem like the type to be your bitch."

"That's not—"

"Would you let her leave the house alone if you were together?"

"I– I mean, I would, but–" Jennie loved the way the girl dressed, it was a turn-on, and she loved that people looked her way too. It was all part of it. Y/n knew she was hot, Jennie knew that people looked, and it let her know how much Y/n was worth. What she didn't like was the way people looked like she was for the taking, how they tried to touch, what their bodies felt, what they would say to each other if not cat call or walk up, the sneaky pictures and touches that would be by "accident".

Jennie knew because Jennie did some of these things herself. She used to have a semi everywhere she went and had one right now after she spotted Y/n among all the other women at the club. She had already thought of ways to fuck her. She had already drooled over the long legs, the tiny waist, and the revealing clothes.

"You said 'but' so that means no."

"That's not true. I do get jealous but it's also about caring and safety."

She did get jealous easily, she knew that but she couldn't do anything about it. What would it matter if it was for the better? Her jealousy made sure that Y/n was safe and fine, that she didn't find anyone else, and that she didn't get hurt.

"You can care about someone's safety in better ways."

"You won't understand unless–"

"I have a dick?"

"Quite frankly, yes," Jennie concluded as she knew how her body reacted to a woman like Y/n walking inside a room. What her mind went through and what she wanted to do. There was a reason as to why none of her relationships had ever worked out. It was hard to keep it in the pants or maybe because all her love had always been faux.

Lisa swerved her head and finally found where the lingering eyes were coming from as she sat beside Y/n. She nudged the girl with her elbow who grumbled in return. "Isn't that Jennie Kim?" She questioned while subtly pointing with her head as Y/n looked away from the other two friends with them. Her eyes landed on the woman who wasn't being subtle at all, no one had been and none of them were oblivious to it. She lived through the fear and anxiety of people touching her using their eyes.

"Who?" Alexis questioned from across them, sitting on the white couch, looking behind her together with Lani to see four filled couches of people surrounded by bottle girls, guards and whatnot.

Y/n rolled her eyes at that before speaking. "I forgot art majors don't know anything outside of their subject." It wasn't as if Jennie was like a celebrity everyone knew of, more people knew of her company than of who owned it unless it was someone who had an interest in the world of stocks. She still caught people's attention when walking around with guards or having paparazzi follow her at times.

"Name one romantic painter." Leilani challenged and Lisa looked at Y/n because she had no clue what to say.

"Francisco Goya–" Y/n replied and Lisa hummed as she looked back at the two. "Anyway, she's an asshole who owns a multi-billion stockbroker company and is constantly expanding."

"You know her?" Alexis curiously asked and Y/n looked past the two girl's this time Jennie caught her eyes, but the siren eyes looked away and at the two friends as she shrugged.

"Yeah she held a lecture while staring at Y/n the whole time and this idiot always speaks her mind so she said how she thought that having Jennie there was terrible only to later get asked to stay to talk after and be asked out to a party by her." Lisa's short version of the story gained Y/n even more curious looks, somewhat even lacing with envy because not everyone got asked to a party by someone of Jennie's status.

"And you went?" Lani asked.

"I went then blocked her because she's not the nice person the world sees her as." Y/n gave half of the truth because she blocked the woman who wasn't nearly as nice as the world saw her. There was no need to say that she unblocked her later and was still seeing her.

"She so wanted to fuck you," Alexis commented and looked back once again to still have the woman looking between their table and the people at her table.

"She's not even subtle about looking at us or you I guess despite having bottle girls all around her."

Y/n licked her glossy lips at the comment, she hadn't failed to notice the women surrounding Jennie. She was well aware that there were always women surrounding her and that she was fucking them at every corner, but she hated how that started a little buzzing in her. It was as if something buzzed in her chest and Y/n wanted to provoke the woman for being the person that she was. Jennie was like a stray in heat and it had started to bother Y/n the longer she looked at her and the way she looked at women who weren't her or touched them.

"Ladies!" Her eyes snapped away from Jennie's table and up at the group of men who approached them. She heard Lisa muffle a squeal beside her before she giggled and moved closer to the vixen to make space for the men as one of them was an up-and-coming R&B singer.

Jennie found herself counting Y/n's tequila shots while trying to ignore how she and her friend were sandwiched between three men– one beside Lisa and two on Y/n's side. There were two other men on the other couch. Jennie knew who they were as they had become regulars after having the money to sit in the lounge. The guy who was humouring the vixen was a growing celebrity, she wondered if that was all that was needed to get the girl's attention. To just have a status and she would let anyone inside.

Maybe Y/n wasn't as different as Jennie thought, not as different as she had claimed to be when she said that she didn't care about Jennie's money or status. The possibility of Y/n only caring about those things was strong in Jennie's head.

"You're wasting hennessy tonight." One of the girls humoured and Jennie looked at the woman who slipped the glass out of her hold, leaving Jennie empty-handed. "We could head to the bathroom instead, help me powder my nose." She knew that it meant to truly powder as people were coming in and out of the lounge bathrooms to do coke. Jennie didn't feel in the mood even if she would be, she would have to be wasted out of her mind to get her dick to work on other women who weren't Y/n.

It made no sense that Jennie was thinking about a specific girl on a weekend. It never happened, but she was drowning in thoughts of Y/n.

"Ask a friend." She declined and looked away, ignoring the look she got from the woman. The laughter from the white couches grew louder as it echoed through the loud music now and reached Jennie better. Her eyes followed the vixen and one of the girls from the other couch got up together with three guys. Jennie knew how to read Y/n's body language, it wasn't hard to tell that the four tequila shots had started to do their magic and left her drunk.

It made no sense to her that the girl was leaving to go downstairs and dance with men when she had a boyfriend, not to mention she had done it before too. Jennie continued to read into it, wondering if she was seeing more people than just her behind the guy's back which she had already warned Y/n about. Although, quite sure the vixen didn't remember a single thing from that night. The only reason was that she was trying to get on Jennie's nerves, being affected by the same reason why Jennie was affected; women surrounded her so she surrounded herself with men.

Or maybe Jennie had deluded herself again. She couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't anymore. She decided that looking over the balcony would make her feel even worse about all of this and so she got up. The party wasn't enjoyable anymore when her mind was occupied with thoughts of Y/n, it would be less occupied if she was watching the girl.

Y/n had no clue what was real or fake anymore. The crash from the ecstasy had thrown her off completely and her mind was dissociated from her body. The tequila seemed to make it worse, but also made her feel better, although it was starting to feel like an out-of-body experience. The drugs were getting the best of her as her world was spinning in the best and worst ways possible.

Nothing mattered and she felt like she could die on the spot with no reason to fight for anything anymore. She could dance until her body would give out. After having almost everything she wanted, she no longer had anything aside from despair that was impossible to drown in alcohol and drugs. The way was to bleed it out of her body and be left limp and rot away.

"How about we take you two to the bathroom–" The man's voice sounded over the music his hands grabbing hold of the slim waist and making the drunk girl turn around. She gripped at his shirt for balance, it was damp in her hands and his body was radiating with heat. The bass was pounding through her body as she looked up at the taller singer. "It's snow." He prompted the idea, enlightening the girl about what they had in the bathrooms. The longer Y/n looked at him while trying to find words the closer he came and she finally found them.

"I have a boyfriend back home." She dodged his lips and placed hers by his ear. She could feel the guy heaving by her ear as the hands were still gripping her waist. "I could be him for tonight." She giggled at the words and felt the kisses over her cheek before he reached her lips. The kiss seemed to last a good five seconds before she pulled away and held him at a distance.

"I will take the snow offer with my friend instead." It finally registered in her mind, but she couldn't find the will to care. It felt like the last night and she was doomed either way. Y/n wanted to live for the drugs and parties as her life had lost a sense of direction. All she wanted was to walk inside that bathroom, inhale and not come out breathing again. Her heart was beating with hope for death as she walked, accepting the fate she tried to choose for herself without anyone there to stop her.

She wanted to forget everything and everyone, Jennie and Asher included, she wanted to forget herself.

"What time is it?" Y/n asked Lisa once they made it up the stairs. Lisa looked at the giggly girl who had the singer right behind her. The girl reached up for her friend and pulled her down which was easy as she stumbled right to Lisa.

"You have a boyfriend."

"I know, but–" Y/n looked away from Lisa and the guy who was talking to another one from the group. "I'm not going to have a threesome."

"It would be a fivesome, baby." Lisa corrected the drunk girl as three guys and Alexis were the ones who were about to leave for the bathroom.

"Come on, let Y/n go now. She's all good with us." The singer ushered and grabbed hold of the girl's hand while helping her up on her feet. It was like watching a doll get pulled back and forth, one without any will of its own that had given into whatever came its way, one that had given up.

"Just a line and I will be back without a foursome." She managed to say before getting dragged up from the couch and away. Lisa didn't try to do more to stop her as she did her best and there was only so much she could do as Y/n was grown.

"Fivesome..." Lisa mumbled and looked at Leilani who had been chatting with the two other guys. Lisa was too busy drowning in guilt over just letting her best friend get lost in the dark. She could see that there was no control left in Y/n, but she couldn't find it in her to pull her away from the track and have her change wheels. Instead, she reached for a drink and decided to ignore her best friend's problems. In the end, Y/n was having fun and Lisa wasn't going to ruin it for her.

Alexis didn't care, Leilani didn't, and Lisa wouldn't do it either as long as the girl was breathing and having fun. Asher only had himself to blame in her opinion. Lisa wasn't going to be different even if it ate at her, the dread with this one was strong.

What caught Lisa's attention was the lounge spot where the multi-billionaire and other social figures were sitting. Her eyes subtly followed Jennie who walked over to the couches with her hands in pockets. Instead of sitting down the woman walked over to one of the guards who leaned down as she spoke into his ear.

As much as Lisa didn't care, she was starting to see a pattern and dots were coming together. The only person she could see Y/n already knowing here at the club was the woman whom she said she had blocked. The same woman who had been watching her like a hawk. Who else could Y/n have texted to get entries?

She watched the guard leave and walk towards the hallway that led to the bathrooms as Jennie stood with her hands still in her pockets as she waited. Lisa continued to sip on her drink while curiously watching because everyone was busy with something else at the moment. From the looks of it, Jennie didn't seem pleased and Lisa barely knew the woman aside from what Y/n had told her about her from the night. Yet it wasn't hard to tell that the billionaire was beyond furious.

Jennie looked away from the hallway and looked at the eyes that were drilling into her side, her fingers angrily fiddling with the pockets material of her jeans. Her eyes landed on the girl she knew was the vixen's best friend. She had no clue how much the girl knew or if she was aware of anything at all.

One thing she knew was that the best friend only cared so much if she let the black cat walk off with three other guys and a tiny friend. There was no way that they cared if she was cheating if they didn't even care about her safety.

There was more that Jennie cared about at the moment.

What the woman cared about was reminding Y/n of who exactly Jennie was and who the girl was pissing off. The sight just did something. To see her dance with someone else, to see her kiss him, to think of what could happen in that bathroom any second now. It made her fists clench, the longer and deeper in more detail she thought about everything. The lost girl getting her back blown by someone who wasn't her.

Has Y/n been seeing other people?

Whatever control Jennie had felt like it was gone now.

It was all turning red.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Alexis complained and Y/n groaned as she quickly reached for paper. The knocking on the door disrupted the different kind of peace that they had–banging, not knocking.

Y/n held the paper against her nostril which finally gave up and started to bleed, the guy who was behind her moved and she stumbled back and into the wall. Her world was flashing all types of lights that were blinding her. The door opened and she squinted her eyes as her heart started to beat without a rhythm while heating her. It all went numb and she waited for the guard to throw them out, but it didn't seem to be the case while she tried her best to stay conscious.

"I need you three guys to leave the premises for bringing in illicit substances. If you cooperate you can leave through the back without further complications."

A slight commotion and fingers were pointing at the two girls before the three men left with the guard.

"I think we missed out on good sex." Alexis laughed, making Y/n sigh while holding herself up with her back pressing into the cold marble tiles in the golden-lit bathroom although it was flashing like lightning in the sky in front of her eyes.

"I'm gonna head back."

"I will be out soon." She mumbled.

Lisa averted her gaze when Jennie caught her, although she looked towards the hallway when the same guard was walking out–not alone, but with the three guys in front of him. They headed towards them and her eyes landed on Alexis who was right behind them.

"Time to pack it up you two and follow me out."

The girl looked at Alexis confused who slumped down beside her. The two guys, albeit confused, started to gather themselves and get up to leave the lounge.

"Where's Y/n? What happened?"

"She's in the bathroom, nosebleed...They are getting thrown out for bringing in illicit substances." She shrugged, confused about the whole thing as they weren't getting thrown out despite being in the same bathroom as the guys. She assumed it had something to do with how they got entry, whoever gave them the entry.

Lisa looked over and only managed to catch a glimpse of Jennie who left for the bathrooms.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore @dreamingst99 / taglist is open

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jensettermandu · 7 months

Text

crocodile tears - jennie kim

genre; smut

pairing; g!p jennie dom x fem!reader sub

content; humiliation/degrading, spitting, choking, bondage, face slapping, hair pulling, edging, gagging, spanking, darcyphilia

words; 6.6k

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The heavy breaths from you and Jennie occupied the bedroom as you two had spent the past 15 minutes making out. She pulled you into her lap as you gripped onto her hair at the back of her head, having a hard time at containing your neediness as you kept on pushing your centre against hers, getting friction from your clit rubbing against the bulge in her pants. The only things separating you two and making it even more intimate was that you two still had clothes on. Jennie was in her loose-fitted jeans and a sweatshirt as you were in a pair of grey sweats that hung around your hips, the waistband of your Calvin's showing and a black baby tee, exposing some of your stomach that Jennie ran her hand up, under the shirt. Your mouth parted as you felt the warmth spread through your whole body, sighing at the feeling of grinding against her. Jennie's tongue pushed against yours as she held her other hand at the small of your back, helping you press harder against her.

There was no way that you would reach your orgasm this way and Jennie knew it very well, but she liked having you like this- the way you would whimper, arch your back, shudder, press harder into her and tense up at how your clit was rubbing against her erection. Jennie sighing and letting out shaky breaths at how you were grinding against her. She pulled her mouth away from yours and her wet lips kissed down your jawline while her hand ran under your shirt, her fingertips grazing your hot skin until she got to your breast. Not wearing any bra, she got what she was looking for right away. "Can I fuck you like a whore I just paid?" Jennie breathed out against your neck, her hot breath hitting your skin as she kept leaving wet open-mouthed kisses on it.

"Have you paid many whores before?" You asked, pulling her mouth closer to your neck as you whined your hips against her. Jennie's hand gripping onto your tender breast in a firm and rough way as she huffed, gripping tightly. "The only woman I would ever spend money on is you." Jennie replied, moving her mouth and you tilted your head back as she kissed beneath your jaw and then down, your neck glistening from your girlfriend's kisses. You hummed as she kept kneading your breast greedily. "Then fuck me cause I can't take this much more." You whimpered at your own words, feeling so close to your orgasm but it was impossible to reach it this way. Jennie ran her hands to your lower back before leaning forward, making you land on your back as she smoothly laid between your legs. She rested with her elbows beside your head and looked down at you for a second, seeing the desperation in your glimmering with stars eyes, your grey eye colour turning her on so much more. She bit her lower lip and you hummed a beautiful whine for her when she used her one hand to hold onto your hair, manhandling you however she liked, holding your head so you would look right into her eyes.

"I love your fucking eyes." She firmly stated, her jaw clenching and the grip she had on your hair with her one hand tightening as she pulled slightly, humping your clothed centre so roughly the creaky bed started to creak again. It was crying for mercy as you two had ruined it enough- it was to the point that it would creak when you two would just turn in your sleep. "Yeah?" You questioned with a moan as she pressed hard against your clit, your thighs squeezing her as your hips pushed up into her more. Jennie hummed as she let go of your hair and using her left hand as leverage she held herself up a bit higher to look better at you, keeping up the rolling of her hips. She looked at you, your plump pink lips parted as your head was thrown back, the strained moans coming from your mouth as you were struggling to get an orgasm- getting frustrated as you were so close. Jennie loved watching you this miserable since she never made it easy for you to orgasm, sometimes it would take hours before she gave you a release.

The hand that held onto your hair earlier came up to your jaw as she gripped it, making you look at her. Your eyes held the type of sexiness that made Jennie weak in her body, especially since they would at times hold an innocent glint instead. You looked at her like she was the only person in the world, like she was some sort of Goddess you had to get on your knees for, like she was the superior one. She thrusted even harder, getting into a frenzy from how you were looking at her as if she was your owner. "I love everything about you, but your eyes fuck me over in the best way." She groaned and your legs tensed up for a second, the heat and intensity building up as you were close now. Jennie's lips parted as she expectantly watched you. Your eyebrows furrowing and eyes shutting tightly with your whole body tensing up, all that tension deflating like a balloon when she got inconsistent on purpose, leaving you high and dry again. "I want you to fuck me over, fuck my dignity out of me, Jennie." You begged, your voice light as it got caught in your whimpers, whines and light moans. You always sounded like an angel, the way you would be loud yet still sound angelic and light in your voice, somehow hitting perfect high notes even in bed- Jennie was down bad for all of it, for all of you.

"You already lost it in our bed, baby." Jennie said and just to remind you, she squeezed your cheeks, making you part your lips for her. Jennie licked her own lips before letting her spit slowly fall out of her mouth, a tingle going through your whole body as the warm spit landed in your mouth- some of it on your lips before running down to your tongue. "Have you ever let anyone else do that to you?" She asked, already knowing the answer, but she loved hearing it and reminding you of it and what power she held over you. Her fingers still gripping hard on your cheeks and jaw, she wanted it to linger in your mouth as it ran over your tongue. You shook your head since you had never let anyone else do it except Jennie. You wanted her to do it to you, it felt so degrading and you loved it, being treated like you were no one turned you on so much. She smiled at that and let go of your jaw, instantly attaching her lips to yours as your hands found their way to her sweatshirt.

She tilted her head and pushed her tongue into your mouth and you sighed before whimpering into Jennie's mouth. Jennie was needy herself, but not for a release, she was needy for your body and she pulled away from your lips. "I want you naked and screaming, Y/n...I want your pussy to throb for hours after this. I want my touch to linger on your body after we finish for days." Jennie said through her heavy breaths, wanting you to still feel her on your body tomorrow and the coming days. You bit your lower lip as she sat up, grabbing a fist full of your black baby tee, pulling you to sit up, hearing a few of the thousands threads the shirt was made of ripping from pulling on it. Your legs spread on either side of her body as she was on her knees, your clit throbbing from how she had been humping you through the layers of clothing. "I don't want it to be pretty." You basically encouraged her as you didn't want any mercy shown and it was supposed to be ugly- not in an actually ugly way but in a way that would leave you a mess.

"Oh, it won't be." Jennie reassured you and grabbed the hem of the shirt, pulling it over your head before she dropped it to the side, biting her lower lip as her dick throbbed at your small yet perfect for her hands boobs as you sat leaned back against your hands, waiting for what she would do next. Jennie scanned over your smooth and slim body, your small waist making her swallow to get rid of the dryness in her throat, still after all these years not being able to grasp where you got your perfect tiny waist from. She always worshipped your body while you worshipped her body and dominance as she thrived on your submission to her. "There's something so tempting about the thought of making your flawless skin bruised." She hummed out, the excitement building up in her as her dick was throbbing because of you. Jennie grabbed the hem of her sweatshirt, pulling it off and discarding it to the side, you didn't have time to admire her naked upper body when she pushed you back down to your back. She grabbed your wrists, knowing that you wouldn't be able to fight back because of the strength difference before pinning them above your head with her one hand.

Jennie was already lost in her lust as she put her lips against yours, her hand coming up to your neck as she forced you to stay in place as she kissed you roughly. It was impossible to kiss back the same way as you trailed after her mouth and tongue that were assaulting your mouth with her grip slowly tightening on your neck. Your strained sigh made her loosen her grip on your pulse points while her grip on your wrist stayed as tight as it was from the start– the tightness stopping your blood from flowing like it should and you could already feel how the tips of your fingers were tingling. Jennie started to kiss down your mouth, sucking on your lower lip before pulling on it and releasing it, her lips trailing down your skin, the wetness of her open mouthed kisses making you shiver as the patches of skin turned cold instantly, her grip coming back on your neck. Your breathing got heavy and needy as her grip started to tighten again and your wrists got released from her grip, feeling the blood starting to flow back to your cold fingertips.

The wet sound of her kissing your collarbones while you whined, your vision blurring for a second and you squirmed under her, her fingers still pressing onto the pulse points below your jaw, not letting the blood pass like needed. "I thought that you didn't want it pretty?" Jennie grumbled against your skin, her fingers releasing some of the pressure they had on your pulse, feeling how it all flowed back to your brain and the light-headedness disappeared. A gasp came from your mouth instead when she bit the skin right above your left boob, the pain spreading in that area. "I do-." You got cut off through your heavy breaths, the pressure coming back. "Then be quiet...A whore doesn't get to complain." Jennie demanded and another moan spilled from your lips like dripping honey as her tongue swirled your nipple. You tried to squeeze your thighs but to no avail as Jennie was between your legs, her free hand coming to your knee as she harshly pushed it away- not allowing you to try and squeeze them together. "I have to be on...set tomorrow." You managed to let out, knowing how easily your skin bruised- it was enough to hold you a bit harder or you would bump into a hard surface hard or not and you would have a bruise the next day. It would be a hassle for the makeup team to cover the marks and bruises for the filming of the movie.

Your hips bucked up only to get pressed back down harshly with Jennie's free hand, slight annoyance going through your girlfriend at your words. "I don't care." She simply mumbled with her mouth still on your breast. There was no fighting that as her grip continued to tighten and loosen, although it wasn't loosening as much as it was tightening. All your trust was in Jennie's hands- the hands that weren't playing gently when it came to bed. Her hand kept pressing down on your hip, holding them in place. You couldn't take the heat that was between your legs, it was getting uncomfortable as you had been close two times now only for you to not get your orgasm. Jennie was too busy with leaving your breasts glistening in her saliva though, the tips of her fingers digging into your hip bone. "Can you do something more?" You let out, the annoyance in your voice ticking something off in Jennie who pulled away, the grip on your throat and hip disappearing. Her left hand landed beside your head and the right that was on your throat a second ago, collided with your cheek and you whimpered at the slight stinging when her palm met your cheek. Jennie grabbed hold of your cheeks with her hand to make you look at her as her palm never left your cheek after the slap.

"Don't tell me how to fuck you or I won't fuck you at all." Your lower lip puckered as you gave her a small pout and she saw the tremble in your lips and eyes that gathered tears in them. Jennie smiled at that as she was looking down at you, a spark of excitement went through her before she remembered that you loved shedding crocodile tears as you could cry on command and were great at acting in any situation. She knew that you were trying to manipulate her into doing what you wanted. Acting was what you did for a living. "If you are going to cry, I want it to be real Y/n." A shiver went through your spine at her words as your tears fell out of the corners of your eyes, hitting the duvet under you when you blinked. There was just something about seeing you miserable, crying and in pain with all your trust in her hands that made Jennie's stomach twist and turn in an amazing way that she was addicted to. Although she had learned your ways and what was a façade and what was real, it took her extremely long to figure it all out though with how convincing you were. You still managed to trick her at times though...it worked great to manipulate her in bed and get what you wanted faster than she intended. Although Jennie wanted real tears, pleas, mewls and begging.

She caressed your cheek with her thumb gently, the opposite of the slap you received even though it wasn't too hard, just a slight sting. "Please." You pleaded, and Jennie watched in amusement as you still didn't drop the act even if you knew that she knew. Her thumb ran over your lower lip before she parted her own lips, making you copy her and her thumb found its way into your mouth. "You're always so hot with your mouth." Jennie mumbled as she pushed her thumb further into your mouth as you sucked, your warm tongue coating her finger as she watched you in a daze. You sucked, your cheeks hollowing as she pulled it out of your mouth, pulling your lower lip before removing her hand from your face. Your breathing got heavier as she moved down and grabbed the hem of your sweats, hooking her fingers on them before she started to pull them down. Your hips lifted to help her as inch by inch the soft material got removed until it landed on the floor, leaving you in your black Calvin Klein thongs and before you could even think that she would remove those too, she went back to kissing your skin.

You held back the frustration that almost slipped past your lips as she was building up your neediness. Your hands ran down to her head, running your fingers through her hair, holding it back as her ticklish kisses and breaths made you suck in your stomach. Jennie kissed the skin between your breasts, kissing down slowly, your chest heaving. Her right hand came up to your side as ran her fingers over your ribs, feeling each and every bone under your skin with her fingers. You got goosebumps, the touch tickling in a pleasurable way as you closed your eyes, registering every little signal your nerves sent to your brain. "I will actually get sad...if you tell me that...you would fuck a paid whore this way." You managed to say through your light and breathy moans since her slow and sensual touches were messing with your brain that was expecting more. The fact that she wanted to at first fuck you like a paid whore only to do this was pissing you off...this was way too intimate. Jennie continued to kiss your stomach that you would suck in because of the kisses she left- she clearly heard what you said. She licked up your stomach, the tip of her tongue disappearing from your skin and you looked at her as she sat up, watching Jennie unzip her bottoms as she licked her lips.

"Let me show you how I would use you if you were a paid whore...Cause right now you are a free one darling."Jennie spoke and you were about to sit up as she unzipped her bottoms, but you got pushed back down in an instant. Your breathing got heavy as you watched her stop, her eyes darting to your silk robe that was laying on the corner of the bed, almost falling off. She straddled you and reached for it, removing the black silk belt from it as you tilted your head back curiously watching her. You took in a sharp breath when she sat back straight and grabbed hold of your wrists, raising them above your head and pinning them down on the mattress. "Tell me when it's getting too tight." Jennie informed as she started to tie the silk belt from the robe around your wrists, roughly handling you with no stop and you could still feel the grip she had on your throat earlier. "Fuck, that's-." You hissed and tried to pull your hands away when she tightly tied the knot, but she held your hands in place using her one hand, the other grabbing onto your jaw as she looked down at you with her head tilted. "It's silk, you will be fine." Jennie reassured and you frowned, trying to move your hands but her grip only tightened on both your wrists and jaw- the grip on your jaw was starting to feel bone-crushing.

"Then why did you tell me to inform you when it's too tight?" You grumbled with Jennie still sitting on top of you, a small smile on her face that held malice behind it and you squirmed under her, your thighs rubbing together as you were craving for her. Your brain was already thinking about how she knew how to please you. "Cause I like giving hope just to crush it." Jennie replied and let go of you, the pain slowly easing from your jaw and wrists- although your wrists were still tightly tied together, cutting your circulation and it wouldn't be long until your fingers would feel numb. She moved to get off you as you watched her. "Hands stay up and if they do come down..." Jennie trailed off and you watched how the corners of her mouth slowly raised into an almost sickening smile. You weren't sure if you liked it or not, but it didn't matter when she removed her jeans, the material hitting the floor as she left it a mystery what would happen if your hands came down...You didn't want to find out so when she grabbed the hem of your Clavin's you gripped onto the duvet with your hands, watching her slowly pull them down with a smile on her face.

Jennie bit her lower lip and your eyes went to the print in her tight boxer briefs, her dick hard and resting on her thigh. Thinking of her thick cock and how it felt when she would fuck you, made your thighs rub together which Jennie took notice of. "You're such a desperate and needy fucking slut Y/n." Jennie scoffed and reached for your wrists, seeing how needy you were. She was going to put your needs last and she pulled you up by your hands with her one hand. She ran her hand over your cheek and to the back of your head as she towered over you, shuddering at how gentle she was being. "Please Jennie." You begged her and whimpered in pain as she gripped your hair, pulling your head back so you would look up at her. Her jaw clenched and you sniffled while looking into her eyes, tears spilling from your eyes. "You're pathetic...What would your friends say if they saw you like this? What would your coworkers say? Your fans? What would they all say if they saw you all naked, bruised, and crying in bed, begging for me to fuck you?" A mewl came from your lips at her words, her lips brushing against yours as she spoke, looking right into your glistening eyes, the words arousing you so much that even more tears started to spill.

When you didn't answer her Jennie yanked more on your hair and a small moan slipped your lips, the tears running down your cheeks to your neck. "What would they all say? Would you be able to live with this disgrace?" Jennie asked again and another sniffle came from you as you shook your head. "They would look down on me." You replied in a small voice, the whole thing only arousing you even more. "They would, but that only arouses you, doesn't it? You love this don't you?" You hummed, looking into her eyes and your tied-together hands innocently grabbed the hem of her boxers since she was so close to you, yet so far. Jennie pulled her hips away from you though and you whimpered as she guided you by the hair she had bunched up in her fist. You stumbled off the bed and she let go as she stood in front of you, the two of you standing by the bed, moving your hands around that were getting cold from how there was barely any blood running to them.

"Get on your knees Y/n." Jennie ordered, her gaze holding no mercy or tenderness, the tears drying up on your cheeks, your skin ticking at the teardrop that was rolling down your chest. You dropped onto your knees in front of Jennie looking up at her as she was looking down at you- always looking down at you in bed. "Being needy doesn't get you what you beg for...You get to suck my dick instead since that's something you are good at." Jennie spoke as she stroked herself through the material of the white boxers, her outline so prominent as you looked at the wet spot where her tip had leaked with pre-cum. You watched as she pulled them down, her dick coming out from the boxers that went down her thighs, Jennie kicking them aside when they were by her feet. Your hands rested between your thighs as Jennie stepped closer to you, with her hand wrapped around the base of her cock, the bulbous tip leaking with pre-cum. Jennie held onto the top of your head by your hair to hold your head in place and she guided her tip towards your mouth.

"You always look so pretty with my cum on your face...So I never know if I should cum in your mouth or on your face." Jennie spoke as she ran her tip over your lips, smearing the pre-cum on them, the warmth spreading on your lips. She continued to rub her tip over your soft and plump lips although your mouth didn't open as she pushed between your lips. "Be a good cock warmer and open your dirty mouth." Jennie said and groaned as she used her hard dick to slap your cheek with it. She slapped you again a bit harder on your cheek with her dick, making you open your mouth this time. You stuck your tongue out and she placed her heavy tip on your tongue and you welcomed her cock into your warm and wet mouth. Jennie hummed as you wrapped your lips around her, watching you as your tongue swirled around the tip that was in your mouth.

A muffled squeak came from your mouth as she shoved her cock further into your mouth, Jennie moaning as she started to thrust in and out. "I'm gonna fuck your pretty face, princess...You won't be able to speak tomorrow on set with how sore your throat will be." Jennie groaned out before biting her lower lip and tightening the grip on you to be able to thrust harder and faster. You whined in disagreement, your mouth stuffed with your girlfriend's cock as she went further and further down your mouth. You really needed your voice for tomorrow, but Jennie obviously didn't care as you gagged when her tip hit the back of your throat. "Fuck, you're my favourite toy." She moaned her other hand grabbing onto your head too as she continued to fuck your mouth like you were a sex doll and nothing else, stripping you of all your worth. You could feel how the wetness was smearing on your inner thighs that kept rubbing together as your eyes started to water again.

"How long can you hold me?" Jennie questioned and you gagged again when she pushed herself into your throat, stalling her movement. You looked up at her through your lashes, the tears falling with your nose brushing her abdomen. Jennie watched you with her lips parted, her cock twitching at the view of her cock stuffed far down your warm and tight throat and the tears that fell down your eyes. You squirmed, closing your eyes and trying to pull away as you were not able to breathe properly. "What? It's hard to understand you with dick in your mouth." Jennie mocked, holding you in place and you gave her pleading eyes with a mewl, desperately trying to pull away with discomfort on your face. She pulled out of your mouth and you coughed with a sob in between your coughing as your gaze fell to the floor, your body shuddering. "Look at me." Jennie seriously said- worried, the worry on her face disappearing in an instant when you looked up at her and she saw how quickly you pouted to mask your smile.

She grabbed her cock again, slapping her tip against your lips to signal you to open your mouth again for her. "I will make you choke on my dick for that." Jennie informed you, not liking the fact that you managed to trick her with that so easily as she genuinely got worried that she overstepped it, but you were clearly enjoying yourself. "Please no, I will be good." You mumbled with a slight quiver in your voice from your "crying", pulling your face away from her needy cock but she pulled you back in. "I don't care for good girls...Now open your mouth or I won't fuck you at all." Jennie said and with feigned reluctance you opened your mouth, her dick coated in your saliva found its way back into your mouth. She sighed at the feeling of your lips wrapping around it and ran her hand through your hair, gathering it into a ponytail- a few strands still falling onto your face. "I want you to look me in my eye while I fuck your mouth like a worthless slut." You moaned at that looking up at her, your face stained with tears and Jennie felt the heat pooling in her stomach from just looking at you so miserably and messy.

She started to move again, not sparing any time as you were gagging on her cock again, the lewd sounds of her cock making your spit run down your chin as you weren't doing more than just holding her dick in your mouth. "Even a whore wouldn't let me fuck her like this." Jennie groaned, her eyes glued to yours as your tears spilled with muffled mewls and moans, the back of your throat getting abused by her length. You whined, squirming as you were on your knees before her, clearly enjoying it as you got used and degraded. "I'm so close." Jennie moaned, feeling on the edge before shoving her dick down your throat for a second time, stalling her movements and shuddering at how your throat squeezed her throbbing tip. "Show me your tongue when I pull out." You hummed at that, her lips parting at the feeling and she pulled out, not having the time to catch your breath you held your tongue out for her as she pumped herself. "Oh God." With that her cum spurted right out of her tip, most landing on your tongue and the rest on your chin and cheek.

Jennie wobbled slightly on her legs as she looked at you and you closed your mouth, swallowing. "You're so good." Jennie praised and tugged on your hair so you would stand up, as you did you could feel the stickiness between your thighs and your numbing fingers. Jennie pulled you closer to her, looking at her cum that was still warm on your face before pulling you into a kiss- it didn't last long when she yanked you away by your hair. "You fucking bitch." She hissed and you couldn't help the smile that appeared on your lips as you spat all her cum into her mouth since you never swallowed any of it, making her do it instead. "Oh so that's funny?" Jennie questioned, wiping at her mouth with her forearm while still having a grip on your hair. You stifled a laugh, moving your hands at how uncomfortable it was starting to get from how hard they were tied. "I'm sorry...It kind of was." You admitted and she sucked air through her teeth while you sniffled, still gathering yourself from the crying you did which was unnecessary when she slapped you again- your cheek only stinging slightly since she never slapped you harder than you liked.

You pouted at her and raised your tied up hands instead, deciding to keep quiet about how she just swallowed her own cum. "It's hurting." You said since you couldn't get the silk to loosen around your wrists. She let go of your hair and both her hands came to the silk as she removed itt, your hands tingling back to life as you wiggled your fingers, looking at them. A gasp came from your mouth at the unexpected manhandling since you were busy with your hands when she turned you around and bent you over the foot of the bed. Pressing you down before grabbing your both hands again and you whimpered when you felt the material back on your wrists. "Let's see how funny you think that this is." Jennie said, tying the robe belt around your wrists, not as tightly this time, but still tight enough to keep you from being able to slip your hands out. You buried your face in the duvet and tried to just move away but she held much more strength than you. Jennie leaned over you and you rested on your cheek, coming face to face with her, feeling her heavy dick resting against your ass cheek as she was still hard. "You do remember the word you say when you don't like it anymore, right?" Jennie asked just to make sure because she wasn't going to let you fool her again- you enjoyed your little manipulation games and knew that Jennie may be loved when you cried, but not if it was from actual discomfort.

You hummed, nodding your head, feeling drained from how frustrating the heat between your legs was now. There was throbbing between your legs and the sheets you were laying on were getting ruined since it was all flowing down. "I will make you cry from how good I will fuck you, darling." Jennie mumbled as she kissed your shoulder, trailing kisses down your back and you hummed. "You already made me cry." You pointed out and Jennie kissed down your spine. "Don't be a smartass now...It won't do you good." Jennie said and you shivered when she pecked both of your Venus dimples. "It's the truth th-." You got cut off for your own good as her palm landed right on your ass, a whine from pain eliciting from you. "What was that?" Jennie mocked, looking at you and when she saw you open your mouth you received another harsh slap on your ass, yelping in pleasurable pain as you bit down on the duvet with your face buried in it. "Act like a good slut Y/n and not a brat...I don't like when you're bratty." You huffed at her words and your ass stung as she landed her palm on your right ass cheek for the third time- the huff counting as unwanted attitude.

"I'm sorry...Please just use me like I was made for you to fuck and cum in me." You desperately said since you would probably use the safe word any minute now if you wouldn't get to orgasm- Jennie maybe didn't fool around, but neither did you really. Jennie hummed, holding onto the silk around your wrists with her left hand while her right guided her dick between your slick folds and that was enough to make you moan lightly. "Fuck." You moaned in pure bliss when she finally slid her cock into your needy and tight hole. Jennie had to stall all her movements as she almost came as she was on the edge from her first orgasm, knowing what a tantrum you would throw if she came already. She started to move again and you hummed while Jennie's pace picked up, her cock filling you to the brim. "You love taking my dick don't you?" Jennie groaned out with a puff of air coming from her lips as she gripped onto your hands with one hand, the other coming up to your shoulder, holding tightly before going harder. "I love it...I love your dick so much." You squeaked out between your uncontrollable moans as her pelvis slapped against the skin of your ass as she was pumping hard into you, the bed creaking in pain.

It felt like your insides were getting messed up by her cock, the thrusts hurting but also bringing you joy at how good she felt. Her fingers pushed into the skin on your shoulder from how hard she was holding onto you for leverage and you continued to moan, the heat gathering south as she continued to rub with her dick on your spot. "Have you ever told anyone how much you love getting fucked over in bed?" Jennie questioned, her cock penetrating deep inside you and your legs spasmed, your walls squeezing around her, the pulsating of your warm walls around her throbbing cock made you both moan. "Y-Yes." You choked out, burying your face into the duvet again as you were starting to get close. "You're such a whore for that...Did you tell them how much of a slut you are for my dick? How you beg for it? How you let me do whatever I want with you?" You could only whine, feeling like you were on the brink of your orgasm and your legs tensed up.

"Fuck Jennie, I'm so close. Please, let me cum." You pathetically begged with tears spilling from your eyes again as you were so close that it was getting painful that you weren't on cloud9 yet. Jennie moved both her hands to your tiny waist and held onto it, the girl behind you panting as she went harder and deep. Your high moans occupied the whole room with the slapping of your and Jennie's skin who was balls deep inside you, waiting to release all her cum into your greedy pussy that was clenching around her so you could milk her. Heat went through your whole body as you pushed into her when you reached your orgasm, your ears ringing and a cry came from your mouth, tears falling when you squeezed your eyes shut. Jennie felt how much your walls started to throb around her cock from your orgasm, the throbbing being uncomfortable for you as it hurt from the intense release you got. Jennie continued to fuck you like a toy as you laid on the bed, trying to catch your breath as the bed creaked and your whole body moved from her hard thrusts.

Jennie lifted you slightly by your waist before wrapping both arms around your waist, laying flush against your back with her front. Her hot breath fanned the crook of your neck as she thrust deep one last time and you moaned while she whimpered when she came. The hot cum shooting right into you and filling you up more than you already were by her cock.

"That was cute." You teased as the older girl laid on top of you, catching her breath while snuggling into your neck. "What was?" Jennie questioned as she left soft kisses on your skin. "Your little whimper." You said with a giggle and Jennie groaned, pulling away from you and standing up on her legs that felt like jelly. "Don't even start." She said as she felt a bit embarrassed because of it since it was the opposite of what she was doing to you the whole time. You hummed while she untied your wrists, feeling the silk disappear you pushed yourself up and turned to Jennie while sitting on the foot of the bed. Jennie crouched down in front of you and took hold of your wrists gently, seeing how red they were. "Are you fine? Is anything hurting you? Your cheek is a bit red...Your ass too." Jennie worriedly said since she was the complete opposite in bed and outside of it- which was why you loved her so much...She was just the sweetest and cuddliest person you had ever met.

"I'm fine, don't worry...The pain is slowly going away." You reassured her since all the pain was already subsiding because even if it seemed harsh and rough, it wasn't too bad and you liked it either way. Jennie stood up, helping you stand up too before easily picking you up by your thighs as you wrapped yourself around her, resting your chin on her shoulder. "Let's draw a bath then to make it go away faster." Jennie said while walking to the bathroom and you left a small kiss on her neck before pulling away and looking at her. "I love you." You said and she smiled, pecking your lips. "I love you more, baby." Jennie replied.

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