#g-d is an unreliable narrator bitch!!!

[kybelles]

for the choose violence ask game: 10, 16, 18!

HELLO BABY!!! sorry in advance since this is all about DAMEN DAMEN and DAMEN cause duh... ik it's not a trendy expression anymore but he really does live rent free in my head 💔

10. worst part of fanon

OH DEAR..... yk i'm trying really hard to not sound deranged and delusional but i feel like there are so many skewed interpretations of damen even though the books are literally from his pov. here are some of them:

a. "damen is an unreliable narrator" i've literally gone to battle with people over this take cause NO HE'S FUCKING NOT?? you say 'damen didn't see laurent's good qualities and was overly judgemental of veretians' i say damen not fucking with his captors who's been nothing but awful to him doesn't mean he was unreliable!! it wasn't like laurent was a golden angel and damen willingly hated on him for nothing. book 1 laurent treated him horribly and damen had every reason and right to not trust him or find him honorable.

b. "damen was a fuckboy who discarded the people he slept with the second he was done with them before laurent" breaking news: if someone sleeps with a lot of people that means he has no respect for them and is bound to treat them like shit! the lack of canon evindence doesn't matter!

(if the take is about damen not being in love with his partners before laurent then i'm on board!! it's the implication that damen was an inconsiderate sex partner that boggles my mind cause... did we read the same books?)

c. "damen is actually bad at sex" is a take/joke(?) i've seen MULTIPLE times and it never fails to make me think what a fucking stupid thing it is to say ❤️

d. "damen learned empathy from laurent" ????? lmao. anyways...

e. "damen was lazy and kastor picked up his slack" is everything ok with your eyes? when's the last time you've seen an ophthalmologist?

f. "theomedes neglected damen" damen literally spends page after page reminiscing about his father's words, advices and their last days together. he also says theo was the only parent he knew all his life and since someone needed to raise him to be this fascinating gentle giant... 1+1=3???

g. any interpretation where damen is some sort of neanderthal who is a selfish spoiled and clueless oaf who needs to be educated by girlypopboss laurent OR where he lets laurent walk all over him and has no agenda of his own. just... no.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

any setting where laurent is downright cold and rude towards damen FOR NO APPARENT REASON and yet damen is still obsessed with him, again for some mysterious reason??? not to sound like some know-it-all condescending bitch (tho i suspect to some degree i'm already infamous and some ppl dislike me bc of it 🥺 oh well...) but i think most people forget damen only started giving laurent the time of his day once laurent started showing him basic deceny during pg. i really don't think he'd be interested in someone who rebuked him at every chance and showed no interest at him.

(some ppl give jokaste as an example to excuse this but damen only says jokaste wasn't easily courted aka she didn't immediately jump into his bed (which is admirable omg... i wouldn't be as strong...) he never said she aloof towards him)

18.it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

THE FACT DAMEN IS A HUGE NERD!!! seriously, who listens to FOUR HOURS of poetry in one sitting... we all tend to focus on his martial insterests but ik my boy is also a sophisticated man 💅

[bleedingcoffee42]

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And... when you look at Lip and Grant... if you ask me, Sparky has a type...?

And... I think Martin is the only one who touched Speirs willingly (and was not ofered a smoke).

So. Yeah.

Tbh, personally, I've read about the "Dog company plotted to shoot Speirs" and cackled thinking how Sparky was the one who created this gossip. Don't fight me on it.

But it's cute how Easy adopted him. Minus Tab. Who... is special kind of... Winters' fangirl. Sometimes I wonder if Dick was as oblivious about Tab and his feelings as he was about his own feelings for Nixon.

I'm sorry but I have so many thought on this right now so this is me going on a tangent that I've been holding in for three days. The "Speirs was shot in the ass by his own men as a warning because they felt the Germans might retaliate for his nighttime swimmies across the Rhine or because of that Sergeant he shot on D-day." leaves me to ask---

1- Who is taking this shot in the dark across the river and just shooting him in the ass? Okay, so the river is about 500ft where he probably crossed. Less than 150 yards for a shot with iron sights isn't that hard, but in the dark? In the ass? According to his Silver Star paperwork he was on the way back and got shot? You hitting him in the rubber boat from the wrong direction in the dark? Firing on him when you're on a patrol to the river bank which you might not want to give away your position? Mihok who found him on shore said he had to drag him back to the MLR. You guys had bigger problems if you were shooting your Lt. on this trip.

2- Plus this is guy who is known for not having a problem shooting his own guys (which is why you're shooting him) and he's vindictive and might retaliate. So...not to apply my own ghetto logic to this, but why are you opening yourself up to that retaliation from the guy slicing throats across the river and not just kill him while he's crossing and let the current take his body downstream and blame it on his hobby or the enemy? Why do you think he's going to come back with a band-aid on his ass and say "Upon reflection, I am sorry I overreacted when Sgt Insubordination pulled a gun on me. Please accept these cigarettes as a gift showing my remorse."

3- Ample opportunity to get him with friendly fire by Holland if you guys really felt he was worth taking out.

4- His company got this preview of the "I'll just run over there and look." and was like 'This is our chance to get rid of him' which was not anywhere near the moan Lipton let out watching him run across Foy. Dog CO. got Swimming Sparky and just watched. Gossiped? Talked about how they were the ones who shot him? According to the official he was coming back and got nailed in the ass...according to the gossip they shot him when he got to the other side.

5- Makes me think of those comments about him with Red Cross girls and thinking that I too would be like 'Night guys! Going across the river to kill some Germans' and end up in some girls bed all night and come back in the morning well fucked and the guys would be all "Look how pleased he is with murder!!" Who's going to come look for you? Nobody.

6- Dog Co Shooting him in the ass---That will teach him.

Ron 'Vindictive bitch' Speirs coming back to the line after being in the hospital- "My ass hurts. :( And I have to pee. :(("

Easy Co finding out he was shot in the ass----THE prophecy is fulfilled! Our new CO has arrived to lead us out of hell.

It's honestly a lot of options for a fun 'unreliable narrator' fic. I've been wanting to do one of those with different POVs and wildly different stories for a long time.

AND Yeah, Sparky with his type. Should toss Derwood Cann "Mr. Perfect" in there too, the guy who dubbed him 'Sparky', who was the Captain of G company. When they were back in NC Sparky challenged him to a fight and got his ass kicked. I think they went to FT. Benning officer's advanced courses together too? Cann's report and Speirs. And Gordy Carson who was partying with Sparky and driving around in Goering's car with him.

[shkspr]

okay i’m really really not coherent right now, so here’s a bunch of scattered thoughts re: judaism and good omens. i must disclaim that my experiences with judaism are not everybody’s experiences with judaism and this interpretation of the text isn’t just through a religious lens, but a highly personal one, for me.

the premise of the story, the concept of an angel and a demon defying heaven and hell in order to save the earth, is the most important thing to me, here. because i’ve said many times before that crowley and aziraphale’s non-humanity is used in the story to amplify their fundamental humanity, and this is the sterling example of it. they are not religious humans who have beliefs; they know that g-d exists and that angels and demons exist and that heaven and hell exist, they’ve seen it, they’re part of it. they’re not operating on faith, and that’s part of why they seem to have very little faith in the system, when it comes down to it. but they still have faith in humanity.

jewish history is a broken record of fear and persecution, but also of triumph and connection and love. we don’t always win, but we always survive, we always persist. and why would we trust the men at the top, why would we believe they’ve got anyone’s best interests in mind, when we’ve seen firsthand time and time again that that’s not the case? why would we put our faith in anything, in anyone but ourselves? we can love and praise and thank hashem, but at the end of the day, we know it comes down to us. we can believe in g-d, some of us, we can take that on faith, but we can’t allow ourselves to become complacent in that belief.

the point is. the point is. the point is that when presented with the great plan, the will of heaven and hell, the decided fate of the world, they said no. they said that’s not good enough for me. they said g-d is not always right, how can she be, all the way up there? how can heaven and hell make any decisions regarding the fate of a planet on which they’ve never lived, people they’ve never met, plants and animals they’ve never seen up close? perhaps crowley and aziraphale see some merits in the system, perhaps they aren’t completely for or against it, but they have priorities, much like humans.

judaism commands us to fast on yom kippur as an act of teshuvah, repentance, but that obligation is secondary to pikuach nefesh, preserving a life. for those of us who have conditions that necessitate regular eating, those of us for whom fasting is dangerous or unhealthy, eating on yom kippur is an act of teshuvah. we cannot properly atone or reflect while depriving our bodies; we cannot return to g-d while neglecting one of her highest commandments. we have priorities.

crowley and aziraphale prioritize the world. they prioritize each other, they prioritize humanity, they prioritize tikkun olam, repair of the world. they prioritize love and connection and simple pleasures and kindness and life, above all else. they know better than to blindly accept orders from their higher-ups, they know better than to think that authority always knows best, and they know better than to allow a thriving, beautiful world die for the sake of a plan that was set in motion before anyone knew what it would grow into. they are not concerned with following heaven and hell’s rules to the letter; they are concerned with preserving what they know to be good and worthy.

[i-maybe-exist]

how about c!sam or c!ranboo? :D

ill do both of them! :D i put it under the cut cuz it got l o n g

c!sam

First impression

creeper, aww man (/j i dont remember my first impression AFEJIOEOFJIWJEOIWF)

Impression now

sam please get therapy you really need it and you should stop talking to quackity he not a good influence and a bastard (even tho i love him) and you need to take a break from manning the prison its really bad for your mental health sam please-

Favorite moment

that one line where sam says that hes not gonna kill tommy when tommy breaks in. i dont remember it exactly (im pretty sure it exists?), but o w w w :((

Idea for a story

ooh i dont actually have any! writing something about ponk and sam would be fun tho (now im probably gonna think about this for the rest of the night-)

Unpopular opinion

i don't know how to phrase this exactly? but i dont think hes a bad person. yeah hes done shitty things if he'd just kinda separate himself from the prison and realize "hey wait a minute, stressing about the prison all day and night causes me to do shitty things!" and then hed like try to make up for his actions. sam deserves redemption (but ponk also deserves to kill him tbh aefwijoiowfeijowfeioj)

Favorite relationship

oooh this is h ard. probably sam and ponk (love is dead on the dream smp /hj) or sam and quackity (quackitys like this driven determined bastard who just talks to sam about whats hes gonna do and sams just standing there dead tired like “okay sure”)

Favorite headcanon

c!ranboo

First impression

oooh a half-enderman with like memory problems! thats kinda cool

Impression now

hes just,,,a lanky lad. i love him

Favorite moment

OK HIM NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY STUFF ABOUT THE ENDERWALK BECAUSE HE PHYSICALLY CANT?? AEWFJIOAEFJOIAJOFWE ITS SUCH A COOL IDEA WITH A LOT OF FIC POTENTIAL AND ALSO O W W W

Idea for a story

i have a few ideas for stories about ranboo, but one of my favorite ones is ranboo making an enderman noise because Stress (it was originally because ranboo saw dream and got nervous, but its probably gonna change now cuz the green bitch is imprisoned <3), and phil overhears and comforts him. it could probably develop into a syndicate-centric fic where its just about everyone in the syndicate being close to each other and helping each other heal n shit (i wanna write this now hold oN-)

Unpopular opinion

hes not the be all end all of opinions. like whenever he monologues about something, the fandom always just instantly agrees with it? even though like hes not always right and hes still an unreliable narrator, just like all the other smp characters. i guess thats more of an unpopular opinion with the fandom tho

hes also kind of a hypocrite. like he had this whole rhetoric about "not choosing sides" and then when lmanburg blew up he joined

Favorite relationship

ranboo and tubbo! both because Gay /pos and because theres a lot of opportunities for angst with the both of them :eyes:

Favorite headcanon

that one hc where after ranboo wakes up tubbo like puts their palms together and he reminds ranboo of like who tubbo is and michael and how they love each other??? bro oh my g od /pos