#gaaliyon me phd ki hai

[aurkitnarulaoge]

Things my friend group has said that made me question my life choices:

*imitating Daya bhabhi* "He Ma Majati!!... Bhala kare pitaji..."

"Bhagwan bhi banane ka copyright nahi leta, maa-baap to phir bhi insaan hain."

"Nark me maroge." "Yamraj se flirt kar lenge."

"Titanic kaise dubi thi?... dub dub dubbak dub."

"Haye rama ye kya kya hua kyu— muskaan joothi hai~~"

*to english teacher* "Roz roz kyu chale aate ho ma'am?"

*to our physics teacher* "aye haye chunri teri lageni gulabi sharara"

"Bas college degree mil jaye— phir ek amir bap ki aulad ko dhamkake shaadi kar leni hai maine"

*to class topper* "Tu to bewajah badnam hain, ye physics wali to zyada pakati hain."

*to English teacher* "Principal se taarif dilwaenge to games doge?"

"Bas ek bar MLA ban jana hain." "Kyun?" "Wo lal batti wali gadi ke andar parde kaise lagate hai dekhna tha."

"Drugs ka dhandha karenge. Paison se science degree khareedkar chief minister ban jaege— main Kerela ki tu Tamil Nadu ki." "Ghar se bohot door nhi padega?" "Helicopter helicopter~~"

"Aao kabhi haveli pe."

"Padhai? Wo kya hai?"

"Johnny Johnny?" "Yes papa?" "Doing drugs?" "Yes papa." "Tabhi gender nhi bta pa raha mera baccha..."

"Jaanwar janwar mat kr fir katungi to rona ayega."

"<name> mera bhai hain. Desh ka sipahi hain. Bolo mere saath <insert gaaliyaan>"

"Abe <censor> ki <censor> ki <censor> <censor> ke <censor> <censor> <censor> ke choohe!!! Himmat hain to samne aakr bol!!!"

"Bottle mein daaru bhar kr aate ho kya? Ye kaisi harkatein kar raho ho?" "Dekha? Ishiliye sasti lene ke liye mna kiya tha."

"He bhagwaan hai kaha re tu?"

*to maths teacher* "Bas ek aur baar wo question repeat kar do to bell baj jayegi."

*to bio teacher* "nanna re nanna re nanna re na na re class me mat aana class me mat aana~~"

*in basketball court* *to boys* "half court ki line de hi u-turn le lo aaj hum 3X3 khel rahe hain."

*leaving class to go home* "Itni khgushi... itni khgushi mujhe aaj tak nhi hui— are hamari prem bhai kidhar gayi?"

"HAMARE JAISA BOLO!!! BOLNA SEEKHO!!! BHUKH ANDOLAN KARO!!!"

"Dono taraff pahadon ka vaas hain."

"Chemistry ab nhi hota. Chalo sanyaas lete hain. Sab apna apna katora leke aana."

"Gaaliyon aur song lyrics yaad karne me phd ki hai."

Etc. Etc.