#general song Huaien

[guzhufuren]

Some questions answered during Li Le's weibo live stream (not all questions are included, some long answers are summarized):

note: "Wang laoshi" is an affectionate nickname for Wang Yunkai

1. How do you feel during your first livestream?

Lele: A bit nervous but also a little excited.

2. How tall are you?

Lele: I'm 185 cm.

3. What was your first impression of Kaikai?

Lele: I saw Wang laoshi's description. My first reaction was that he described me as if I took the lead female role in a drama, with the way he described my face and me dragging two large suitcases upstairs, almost unable to move. Later, I thought it was indeed like that. He seemed like a very, very warm person.

4. What is your MBTI?

Lele: I am an introvert, an ISFJ, a little nurse. Wang laoshi is a protagonist (ENFJ).

5. Will there be autographed photos?

Lele: There will be opportunities for autographed photos in the future.

6. Can you speak Russian/Thai?

Lele: I can't speak Russian or Thai.

7. Have you read the original work?

Lele: I have read the original work. After reading it, I was somewhat hesitant to take on the role. However, after playing Huaien, I learned a lot from him.

8. Do you eat snail noodles?

Lele: I love eating snail noodles; I'm a big foodie.

9. How has your mindset changed before and after filming?

Lele: I used to be quite indifferent about relationships, believing that being together or not is a matter of fate. However, after playing Huaien, I realized a valuable trait in him—his view of love is very pure and he believes that if you like someone, you should give your all to pursue and fight for it. This moved me deeply.

10. What type of role would you like to experience next?

Lele: I used to want to play roles that are similar to my own personality, more lively characters. After playing Huaien, I now want to try roles that are quite different from myself so that I can learn new things.

11. What do you like to eat?

Lele: I love many foods, whether they're from Wuhan, Xi'an, as long as it's delicious.

12. Are there any kissing scenes in the drama?

Lele: I can't spoil it, but everyone can look forward to it.

13. Where do you most recommend traveling to?

Lele: Every place is different, whether domestic or overseas. Cities in China like Shanghai, Beijing, Chengdu, and Chongqing each have their unique charm.

14. How does it feel to shoot a kissing scene?

Lele: It feels just like how it would feel when you kiss someone.

15. What food do you recommend in Shanghai?

Lele: Shanghai's pan-fried buns are delicious.

16. Will you collaborate with Kaikai again?

Lele: I certainly hope so, if there's an opportunity.

17. What is your zodiac sign?

Lele: I am a Scorpio.

18. Can you recommend a song?

Lele: Of course, "A Passionate Dream" sung by Wang laoshi and me. Besides that, have you heard of the song "Young And Beautiful"? I really like that one.

19. Do you have any interesting experiences from filming "Blossom"?

Lele: There are quite a few memorable scenes. The most unforgettable for me is the one by the river because it was very special.

20. What did you think of your voice actor?

Lele: I think the voice actor added a lot of value to my performance.

21. Will there be offline events?

Lele: Offline meetings and concerts will depend on future arrangements.

22. Will you change your hair color?

Lele: I want to be a bit spontaneous and dye my hair blonde.

23. Do you usually work out?

Lele: I do work out, but I can be a bit lazy and need someone to keep an eye on me.

24. What type of music do you like?

Lele: Recently, I've been listening a lot to "A Passionate Dream" and "Under the Moonlight," our theme song and ending song sung by Wang laoshi and I, as well as "Endless Calamity" by Li Junliang laoshi. In general, I enjoy listening to songs by Zhou Shen and Faye Wong.

25. Will there be a duo livestream?

Lele: A duo live stream depends on future arrangements. It should happen; I'll consult with our boss.

26. Are you of mixed heritage?

Lele: Yes, I am of mixed heritage, though it's quite distant. My grandfather's previous generation was Russian.

27. Why do you eat a lot but not gain weight?

Lele: Actually, I gain weight easily, and I love eating. I used to be very overweight, weighing up to 110kg in middle school. I later lost weight, going down to around 75kg. My slimmest was during the filming of "Blossom."

28. Can you post a nine-pic grid?

Lele: Sure, I can post a nine-pic grid. I'll leave that to my publicity team.

29. Have you seen the complete version of the drama?

Lele: Yes, I've seen the complete version. It was very embarrassing, especially the first two episodes where I had to dress as a woman for the first time.

30. What hobbies do you have?

Lele: Traveling. Previously, Wang laoshi and I planned trips to Chengdu and Yanji. In Shanghai, I might play tennis, go shopping, or watch good movies.

31. What is your contact name for Wang laoshi?

Lele: His contact name is Kaikai.

32. Which outfit in the drama is your favorite?

Lele: Because most of my outfits are white, my favorite is actually the black one. It appears rarely, but I saw it in the trailer and really liked it.

33. Do you call each other by name in private?

Lele: In private, I just call him Kaikai.

34. What do you recommend playing at Disneyland?

Lele: I highly recommend "Soaring Over the Horizon". It's very fun.

35. Can you swim?

Lele: Yes, I can swim.

36. Do you have any vlogs?

Lele: Vlogs are being arranged and currently being filmed. They include work and daily life ones, and there are also vlogs from shooting before.

37. Where will your next trip be?

Lele: If there's time, Wang laoshi and I might go to Chengdu or Yanji. I also really want to visit Xinjiang or Changsha, Shandong is an option too, as it has great food.

38. What kind of milk tea do you like?

Lele: My top favorite is Cha Yan Yue Se. Second, I think Heytea is quite good. Third, I like Thai milk tea. I also love drinking from Mixue.

39. Did you take anything from the drama as a keepsake?

Lele: Yes, I took Huaien's hairband, but I didn't bring it out; it's at home.

40. Can you drink douzhi (fermented mung bean milk/soup)?

Lele: I don't like it.

41. Do you have any pets?

Lele: Yes, I have a dog, a small poodle. It's a kind fleece poodle, not a wicked one.

42. What's your dog's name?

Lele: My kind fleece poodle is named Xiao Yueyue (the fleece part is hard to translate but it's funny because by "fleece" he's referring to the poodle's fur, so he's speaking of him as a piece of fabric basically)

translated by @ xiaoqiaoo_ on twitter

[awu-wangxuan]

General Song Huaien - The Rebel Princess

[kassylin]

Military parade vs Wedding

Bonus lol

Forgive me.

[tomorrowsdrama]

2021: daddies will make it better aka the few (and I mean FEW) good things

EDIT: wow another post that sat in the drafts for whatever reason

2021 was a crap year drama wise but it wasn’t a total loss all thanks to these few gems 

Ultimate daddy: The rebel princess / monarch industry - my one/ultimate drama pick for 2021. The watching experience and the collective thirsting on tumblr was so fun and deceived us into thinking that the rest of the year would be just as great.  Just go through my tagged posts for this drama and you can see how totally obsessed I was.

Xiao Qi - number one daddy. Thank you drama for showing me the light and introducing me to sex on legs Zhou Yiwei

His dramatic entrances are my sexuality

Helan Zhen - daddy number 2 who we keep in the shadows/meet up with on the down low because he’s bad and not in the sexy way (but because it’s Yuan Hong, yes in the sexy way, but we’re ashamed to admit it)

Crown prince aka potato - not you, this conversation has nothing to do with you

Asu aka Turnip - also not you; but talk about daddy issues

Zilu/Second prince - not my daddy but I’m happy for his girl

Zitan - I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you how dare you pt 1

General Song Huaien - I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you how dare you pt 2

Gay Jane Eyre AU Daddy: The Devil Judge - Kang Yohan’s entire vibe is Daddy

And a bunch of other random dramas that didn’t have any daddies but I still enjoyed in 2021:

Jdrama - the comeback kid - it’s been over a decade since I regularly watched jdramas but they’re slowly but surely coming back into my life 

Promise Cinderella

Utsukushii kare

This happened in 2021? - I totally forgot this aired in 2021.

Mr Queen / Queen Cheorin 

[thegreymoon]

Monarch Industry

Poor Huaien 😕

But seriously, though, the idea that somebody would show allegiance to a pretty piece of rock instead of an actual living, breathing person is ludicrous. Like he said, it could have been stolen or forged. Not that Yuzhang Wang isn’t going to execute him anyway, but the point still stands!

***

Yes, I also want to know!

This entire paternity plot is so far-fetched and contrived, but, hey, it’s a c-drama, and if they said it happened, I’m going to assume it happened unless stated otherwise, so I’m pleasantly surprised to see this addressed. 

***

LOLOLOLOL 

He is an idiot, no arguments there. 

***

And we couldn’t agree more 🤗

***

Spoiler: NO

***

Poor General Song 😕

***

I love the undercover priest 🖤

Or not so much a priest, as facts would have it. 

***

It’s incredible how my enjoyment of this drama increases by leaps and bounds when he shows up on screen 🖤

***

I feel sorry for her.

I feel like she and the prince will die without ever actually getting to marry. 

***

Episode 28!! Finally!!

I just want Awu and Xiao Qi to reunite 😭😭

***

I am very entertained to see them looking so disheveled and miserable 😆

***

This fake wedding is fun just for this alone 😂😂

I hate him and enjoy seeing him suffer. 

***

Finally something useful from Zitan.

To his credit, he really didn’t hesitate to throw himself onto a sword to save her, but it is all so pointless and futile.

***

AND NOW YOU ARE THOROUGHLY FUCKED!!

YES, XIAO QI, SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE!! 

***

There goes the hat 🙄

I can’t believe they dropped the hat 😬

***

He’s perfection 😍

He really marched his army from the Northern Border, wiped the floor with anyone getting in his way, and then showed up at the critical moment to save the day (and the woman he loves), all without breaking a sweat or even once losing his calm! 

***

Great. Just what was needed.

This fucking moron airing his marriage problems as the Emperor is being held hostage 🙄 Awu, please stab him!

***

HIs stupid face.

Wasn’t he just going on about how he was going to kill her himself? 

Ziliu may be insane, but he is miles and miles better than this turnip. 

***

Well, that was tragic.

***

Of course he wasn’t 🙄

He can’t even get stabbed in a way that matters. 

***

MY BABIES!! 🤗🤗

***

Cries 😭😭

***

Meeting the mother-in-law! 😆😆

***

Of course they are getting along, LMAO 😂😂

[orsuliya]

... the evil cousin in the book tried to "seduce" Xiao Qi even before the arranged marriage in Hulan? What was exactly her plan? Did her and her evil mum really think Awu could accept this shit?

Anyway I'm happy that Awu here is more aware of her own insecurities. She already knows about her health problems and deals with it with her own terms. Qianer's affair made her more frustrated and conscious about her own position. She is really jealous but jealousy isn't the real problem here.....she knows her husband isn't interested at all about Qianer, she doesn't doubt on his fidelity but this doesn't change the reality. Xiao Qi can accept to have a wife who can't give him sons, but the society can't. Her enemies won't never stop to use this weakness to ruin their peace or to try to usurp her position, and she can't live like this.

It's not because she doesn't trust her husband, she knows his heart but her fears are still realistic.....She even feels guilty towards him because he's giving up to have precious heirs! And no other man would do the same. (She includes even Zitan, lolololol)

That's why she tried everything to get pregnant, not only because of maternal instincts *_*

(So sorry for the long post‼️)

Hey, that plan wasn't so bad! In fact, I propose it was far more sensible than their drama shenanigans, which had little rhyme or reason. But then, that's what you get when you accept drugs from Xie Wanru.

The book establishes two things. One, Awu's aunt has an axe to grind with the main branch of the Wang clan as Wang Kai, her sole biological child, died while Turnip Wang survived and thrived. This made her resent the main branch in general and Awu's other aunt in particular. And what an excellent revenge would it be to see her own Qian'er - a daughter from a concubine no less! - lord it over the oh so high and mighty Wang Xuan in her own house! Two, childless women are vulnerable. So much so that Awu's aunt sees nothing wrong with giving Pei'er, Qian'er's sickly elder half-sister, two maids with the express purpose for using them as breeders, should Pei'er have trouble with bearing children for her new husband. Huanmi, also not a shining example of health, came to her marriage accompanied by four concubines, although we don't know the exact reason for that.

What's more, there's nothing to suggest that book!Qian'er was the toast of Langya. In fact, the aunt's total lack of resistance to the idea of marrying Pei'er off to another province - which Awu notes as somewhat suspect - combined with her general behaviour and what she says about her hometown, makes me wonder how good their situation really was. They have their name and that name is exactly what nets Pei'er a marriage into one of Jiangnan's preeminent clans... But would she rate this match if it wasn't for the pressing need to patch up political relationships with Jiangnan aristocracy via a double marriage: Turnip to Shen Lin, Pei'er to Wu Jun. Why, Pei'er is furnished with the title of Xuanning Princess, which screams of a peace marriage. Unless another peace marriage comes along, what kind of match might Qian'er expect for herself?

Well, I can tell you what kind of match she wouldn't be expecting and that is one to a man of Xiao Qi's standing, at least not as his main wife. By the time this whole mess happens he's the single most powerful man in Cheng. A glaringly childless one with no women other than his main wife. No other women = no competition. By the local standards this is not something that happens very often: Turnip's concubine count is in double digits, Song Huaien takes some at the first opportunity, I mean, who doesn't have a few concubines in their family? Well, except imperial brothers-in-law whose previous ones died in exceptionally tragic circumstances.

Since there's no competition, the only thing that Qian'er would need to do is to get with child. She bears the heir, her status goes sky-high. Especially since it doesn't look like the main wife is going to procreate any time soon. In the book it's been years and years and still nothing. And really, why should Awu be against this whole enterprise? Better a Wang girl than a stranger, right?

That Xiao Qi is Xiao Qi is another matter altogether. By the way, while in the drama his insistence on monogamy seems motivated solely by his love for Awu, it is not the case in the book. Or rather it is, but not quite, see: his tragic backstory. His aversion to having children with anybody but his main wife dates from before their marriage and is motivated by his childhood. Seeing as his mother was from a disgraced family and didn't even rate the status of a concubine, which made Xiao Qi's birth something of a disgrace, and that he ran the moment his father breathed his last... Yeah, I suspect life in the Guangling Xiao clan wasn't exactly all rainbows for a boy of comparatively low rank. Our general is simply too smart to replicate a losing strategy!

And yes, Awu's fears are entirely too grounded in reality. Sure, she believes Xiao Qi won't be faithless and it's clear that in the absence of the Re-do Wedding he must have made some sort of announcement, otherwise how come the whole country knows that their Regent doesn't accept concubines? But still, he's not the one that will feel the societal pressure and not the one who faces the rather bleak prospect of becoming a childless widow. Awu is the one who will be branded a failure if this situation persists any longer. But you know what, there is every possibility Xiao Qi might have enough power to shut everybody's mouths. Except.

Except that in the book there is one other factor that makes having children a must. Xiao Qi has been gunning for that throne for years and he's just a few steps away from his goal. The problem is this: how does one establish a new dynasty with no heirs in sight? Childlessness rather invalidates this whole enterprise and Awu is just as invested as Xiao Qi; why, at one point he gives her an out and still she tells him to go for it. This whole desperate trying for children is less about maternal feelings and more about building legacy. Which, taking their imperial ambitions into account, rapidly becomes a matter of national stability. It's already a miracle that Xiao Qi got away with abolishing the imperial system of six palaces with only a single male heir; I suspect it was nowhere near painless nor widely accepted. Without that male heir? Ooof, it simply doesn't bear thinking about!

[dangermousie]

Monarch Industry ep 1

It’s pretty cool to see all the themes of the drama in ep 1. This is some good writing.

The aristocracy having fits at Xiao Qi being made a prince. How ironic - this thread of “he’s an unworthy outsider, not one of us” informs so many of their actions in this drama. They need him but their prejudice runs so strong they can’t see it. And it’s a lesson that they never learn.

Even in ep 1, Minister Xie (who along with Daddy Wang is one of the only two men at court with a brain) asks Daddy Wang’s general brother, who says a peasant Prince is an insult to everyone of blue blood, what would happen if Xiao Qi fails against Hulan and Hulan gets to the capital, will he, General Wang, be able to defend the capital? And even in ep 1, Wang Xu has no answer to that because he knows he can’t. They all know only Xiao Qi can defend them from Hulan, they have no other options. And this doesn’t change 60+ eps in (in fact it becomes worse since so many of their other generals are dead by then) but there is a disconnect in the aristocratic brains - they all do realize he’s their only bulwark against the enemy but they simply cannot accept that this means they must treat him better than his dirty blood warrants. They all think being made a general is already way above what he deserves and even survival of the country is not as important as keeping the old order (or at least I don’t think they consciously think so, they somehow think they can kill XQ and keep their country through magic thinking.) 

Old Emperor tells Awu in ep 1(!) that the court is not as concerned with saving the country, they are only concerned about their court positions and that doesn’t change ever the entirety of the drama. That is why Potato who listens to his mother and court is doomed and Zitan who just let the court do whatever because he doesn’t care is doomed. Honestly, Zilu may have been a tyrant but not listening to the court was damn smart. The irony is even the smartest ones like the old emperor, Minister Xie, Daddy Wang still put their power above country. They, unlike the rest, realize the country needs Xiao Qi, but if push comes to shove between their personal hold on power and country’s needs, forget it, they will kill him and worry about invasion and civil war later.

Also, even in ep 1, Awu shows she is not as classist as the rest. She tells the Emperor that of course he should make XQ a prince and whoever doesn’t like it, send them to guard Ningshuo. She says that the reason they never had a non-royal Prince is because they never had such a genius general before (fact.) She also astutely points out that general or prince, he’s just a pawn for the Emperor (so by extension, Emperor should do whatever he wants and not listen to the nobles.) In that one scene, she demonstrates more political astuteness than Potato and Zitan have in the entirety of the drama put together.

There was also this:

His generals are all excited about the royal order making him a Prince but Hu Yao points something fascinating - that the Emperor’s promise to make whoever killed the King of Hulan a prince was made to nobility. I wonder if other more noble generals tried and failed to killed the old king but also it says so much about the rigid class division that his own loyal soldiers are “this is so far out of the norm, this can’t be what was intended!” And General Hu, the most loyal one of them all, asks “why can nobility get that title but common people can’t?” Indeed. But so freaking loyal.

And then there was this, which is even more of a foreshadowing to me:

Xiao Qi orders Song Huaien to get 500 soldiers to take with him to the capital for conferment. And SHE points out, correctly, that they cannot move soldiers without an imperial edict (which they do not have - I mean they have the edict conferring him, but it doesn’t say anything about troop movement.) And Xiao Qi, even in ep 1, when he’s indubitably loyal to the empire and emperor, smiles and gently asks “And who do you serve?” And his soldiers, SHE included, snap to and say they obey. And next thing we know, Xiao Qi rides in with the 500 soldiers.

This SO significant and shows why the nobles were right to fear XQ - even in ep 1, his army is loyal to him above the emperor. Loyal enough than when asked point blank who do they listen to - the emperor (!) or Xiao Qi, they unhesitatingly go Xiao Qi, and commit what emperor could justifiably view as an act of treason. Moving troops without imperial command, even such a small contingent, is a huge no-no! These are the same men who blow up the imperial envoy in 11 without hesitation, fight the imperial troops for him in 50, who open the Ningshuo gates to a wanted regicide, who refuse to bow to the emperor when XQ won’t in 60+. The start of it is all right here - it has always been like this, in fact.

And also - even this early on, when he doesn’t think of rebelling any more than he would fly, XQ only obeys the orders and norms he thinks are worth following, not just because they are norms. When he kneels back in ep 3, he means it. It’s not a formality. Which is why he can’t do it in 61 and so on - because it is NOT a formality to him, it is genuine sign of respect and obedience (or asking for a favor) and so he cannot do it if he does not respect or obey (or have a favor to ask.) And in his quiet way - he is very mellow here, he doesn’t raise his voice - he will not brook disobedience, and he will do what HE wants, whatever the rules say, and he does not see the emperor as automatically sacred. If what emperor wants (or the law says the emperor is entitled to) and he wants (or thinks is a good idea or he’s entitled to) disagree, he will always go for the latter. This is a man who has a possibility of rebellion because he’s an independent thinker, not bound by norms, and that makes him very dangerous. He is loyal unto death but that loyalty has to be earned.

[shangyangjunzhu]

THIS IS GONNA BE A VERY VERY LONG POST AND I AM NOTIFYING Y’ALL

SPOILER ALERTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

a lot has happened and it is kind of hard for me to remember the sequence but i’ll go through it one by one

a) asu knows that su jin-er’s kid is not zitan’s; from what we’ve seen in the drama so far it can only be tattoo general

b) su jin-er gives birth and apparently it is quite evident that the kid is not zitan’s, which means zitan has no use for her anymore and he is about to kill her tell awu asks for su jin-er and he is like okay take her away

c) su jin-er thinks awu is gonna give her poison wine but it turns out that she isn’t and instead sends jin-er and her baby off to jiangnan to live the rest of their lives together

d) there is this very interesting conversation that takes place between awu and xiao qi about how he is willing to take revenge against everyone even awu’s family, and that kind of sets the tone for future episodes

e) nanny xu misses the grand princess and goes to the monastery and ends up seeing jing-er there and that’s when huaien offs her on wang lin’s command

f) awu goes to look for nanny xu but asu tells her that she wasn’t here (he knows, he saw it and he breaks down but you know he can’t go against daddy wang); xiao qi’s soldiers dig around the monastery to find nanny xu dead; awu is devastated and she is aware that it must have something to do with asu and she obviously like i can’t trust you anymore

g) huaien and yuxiu finally visit awu and xiao qi; difference is yuxiu is here to meet them; huaien is here to plot; he reveals evidence that it was indeed zitan who plotted against him using helan zhen. s/n yuxiu tells awu that she was better off in the yuzhang mansion and that she can’t talk with huaien at all and that she can’t seem to read his mind

h) xiao qi is ready with his troops to kill zitan but awu is like wait what’s going on and after he gives her the evidence she is like “zitan is still the emperor think about the people of the country and the mess it’s gonna create” and xiao qi notices the calm in her eyes and is like “you knew all along” ( which isn’t true she found only two episodes ago)

i) xiao qi is in the court with his army and he is on the verge of killing him but awu intervenes and basically stops from doing so but not without chopping off a block of wood from zitan’s throne; it is then that he leaves but not without awu sending him off by standing on the fortress and they nod to each other (ahhh my heart) and it is then a flashback is shown which may be hinting towards the fact that all of this was done so as to let xiao qi and the soldiers leave the city so as to find out who is plotting what and then come in.

j) zitan has this whole mope session about how xiao qi almost killed him and it is then that awu gives him a whole deal of reassurance that her zitan gege shouldn’t be that way and all (i skipped through it cuz it was just so boring)

k) now that xiao qi is out, daddy wang and co. are ready to put their plan into action and they do but not without yuxiu trying to stop huaien with every bit of might left in her by literally holding onto him but huaien flings her aside and tells her that she isn’t capable of stopping him.

i) they march into the palace and it is then that yuxiu is seen from a very high part of the palace, begging huaien to not continue and telling him how they would have nothing if it were not for awu and xiao qi. she also tells him that all they ever wanted when they were back in ningshuo was world peace and that he is trying to destroy it. she tells him that she could beg awu and the emperor to forgive him and that everything will be alright. huaien is like nope and he shoots an arrow right at her and barely misses probably to deter her. but in this moment yuxiu is like so you want me dead and JUMPS OFF THE BUILDING. I kid you not he does not even go to her ; he has this little scream and his eyes just dilate and then he is like keep going. hu yao, who was left behind by xiao qi to protect awu, sees huaien and rages at him trying to kill him but ends up getting killed instead.

l) they charge and awu is like i am gonna get you out of here safely zitan and tries to use the secret passage but guess what that has been infiltrated as well. so they have no choice but to go to throne room where all the soldiers are there and daddy wang makes his epic entry shocking awu and zitan.

m) daddy wang sits on the throne and is like hahah i made it and awu is like this seat isn’t for you and threatens to kill herself the same way the grand princess did and wang lin is terrified and tries to stop her, which he does but now song huaien is like haha i am gonna be the new king now and he is like get daddy wang out of here.

n) he goes to awu and says xiao qi is useless, be with me, i am useful and pulls out the hairpin she asked huaien to give xiao qi on the day of their wedding and gives it to her. awu slaps him and is like get the fuck out of my face

o) xiao qi comes to the rescue and shoots an arrow at huaien and it is then that he reveals that he never really left and that he has known all long about him being a traitor it’s just that he never knew for whom and it is then that huaien gets up and brandishes his sword saying he did it for himself only for him to injured by a couple of spears. he says a bunch of stuff that i didn’t understand and then he dies. xiao qi breaks down and wails (oh god i cried)

p) awu finds wang lin and they have a really emotional conversation and then he dies right in front of awu.

q) awu, xiao qi, asu and caiwei are seen walking together after a brief time skip and awu tells asu that they plan on leaving the capital and going back to ningshuo, which asu tries to convince them against but realizes they are at peace there. yuxiu’s kid is shown playing with awu’s other adopted children and awu is seen crushed at how yuxiu left behind her child without even giving the kid a name. awu entrusts asu to caiwei and ask them to live a happy life. asu and awu part emotionally and awu and xiao qi leave for ningshuo.

r) zitan steps down from being the emperor and i assume jing-er is placed on the throne with asu acting as the regent.

s) awu and xiao qi are shown in ningshuo with dozens of kids and their friends from hulan assembling a map of cheng and letting their adopted daughter jump on various locations in the map the same way awu did when she was younger. awu is pregnant and they talk about how they want to watch all of their adopted kids and now their kid grow up happily

closing thoughts:

- i loved how they depicted the impact of the greed for power. wang lin, the dowager, huaien, potato, wanru are all dead and the reason lied in their insatiable greed. unfortunately collateral damage takes place too as seen with the hu siblings and yuxiu.

- i will be forever mad at how yuxiu died but jin-er is still alive; i mean i understand how awu still cared for jin-er despite her treachery and i know yuxiu wanted nothing to do with huaien and his evil ways and that she would rather die than be complicit with him but still i am so sorry yuxiu baby you deserved way better

- i do like the fact that the whole show off between awu and xiao qi was actually a secret plot; they’re good actors ngl

- i can see that a bunch of stuff has been cut off because the flow isn’t very clear but that’s forgivable as i know a bunch of stuff was cut down

- the dowager die btw like i don’t even care

- the happy ending was all i ever wanted!!!!!

- it’s confirmed; monarch industry takes the place of #2 on my list and will probably not move down further any time soon.

if you’re still here throw a comment so that we can share our feelings!

[farmgirlusa]

All right so I had some thoughts about facial hair in our favorite C-Drama The Rebel Princess/Monarch Industry/Ode to Shangyang.  I figured I’d take my whole one class of film criticism and put it to use examining the potential choices for why 3 out of 4 of our guys on the show went from no facial hair to sporting some.

Now in a lot of Drama’s I’ve noticed that facial hair is often used to showcase the passing of time. How long it took for people to journey from point A to point B, or how long it’s been since person 1 has seen person 2.  This show has had several passages of time pass without the addition of facial hair. The time after Xiao Qi and Awu’s wedding was supposedly a while and no one new sported facial hair to show case the passage of time.

The first person we see to suddenly sport facial hair after previously having none is Ma Zilong after he is enthroned as emperor.  Now obviously some time has passed but after examining who else suddenly sports facial hair in this drama so far I’m not so sure that’s the only reason why our favorite Potato suddenly sported a mustache sparse though it was.

The next two we see getting some facial hair is Wang Su and Song Huaien.  Their facial hair first shows up on their journey back to the capital again seeming to imply the length of time the journey took.  Again based on other facts I’m not certain that was the sole reason why our favorite Turnip and not so favorite former Ningshuo General started sporting goatees.

Our final contender to date in the facial hair pool is Xiao Qi, and here’s where the time passage excuse starts to fall apart.  We get lots of clips of Xiao Qi during the Hulan arc.  Beating up imperial mooks, traveling place to place, riding his horse majestically up and down the country side.  In all of these clips he remains facial hair free.  The first time we see our favorite ML with the goatee is when he swoops in to save the day in Hulan.  It wouldn’t have been hard to add in some of the later shots of Xiao Qi on his horse riding to include him with the facial hair but they didn’t they choose not to.

All four of these men went through changes in character, some good some not so good and I think that more than anything is what the addition of facial hair is supposed to show.

Zilong changes after he becomes the emperor.  It shocked a lot of us viewers with how much more mature he was about being emperor and that surprisingly he wasn’t a half bad emperor.  Zilong didn’t get a full goatee just a mustache and I think that represented his character only really changed slightly from the self-absorbed crown prince he had been to the slightly less self-absorbed emperor he became.

Asu’s growth of facial hair I think is more in line with his becoming more like his father, so naturally his appearance becomes more like Wang Lin’s.  Asu is now the political Wang in the imperial court so having his appearance mimic a lighter version of his father makes sense.

Song Huaien is a slightly different story.  We’ve discussed this in the past that SHE is effectively a sponge who soaks up his environment and doesn’t have the solid core of convictions to resist temptations or molding from outside forces.  At the beginning of the show he was the upright Lieutenant General in the Ningshuo Army who was faithfully serving Xiao Qi.  We only saw him in outfits that reflected Xiao Qi’s.  Once he came to the capital there started to be changes.  His outfits still mimicked Xiao Qi’s to a degree but now his styling started to show an individualism that set him apart from his mentor.  After Xiao Qi’s supposed death and posthumous conviction for treason he fell in with the Wangs and the rest of the imperial councilors and we see his style, dress and framing in the show reflect that.

Xiao Qi abhors politics and wants the simple life on the border with his wife and his people.  But now after having this attempt made on his life, his men branded as traitors, and his wife kidnapped and sold off to Hulan he’s made his own change.  Xiao Qi was never just a simple soldier.  He always was aware of the politics he just wasn’t interested in playing the game. In one of the earlier episodes after he’s made aware of Prince Jingnian’s movements he dispatches men to watch all imperial relatives to see if anyone else is abetting or looking to rebel themselves.  For Xiao Qi the addition of facial hair is more of a symbol that the gloves are off. He’s no longer going to hold himself or his people back to let the elites sleep soundly in their beds.  He’s going to do whatever it takes to get justice for his men and ensure safety for his people and his family.

Which brings me to the final reason for all of this.  There’s one main character who hasn’t grown any facial hair at all yet despite the passage of time.  Zitan remains the last facial hair free main male character on the show.  It struck me as I was looking at the screen caps and clips from the current released episodes that his look hasn’t really changed from episode 1 to now.  A part of that I think is because Zitan hasn’t really changed, everything about him has been there from the beginning.  Quite honestly the only difference from him and Zilong in the first arc is Awu liked him back.  There’s a part of me that wonders what might have happened during that arc if Awu’s feelings for Zitan had been the same as her feelings for Zilong and Zilu, loving them like brothers, but really not interested in marrying him.  Based on current evidence it’s likely we would have seen Zitan doing everything in his power to get Awu to marry him and change her mind even after she got married to someone else.  Zitan in a lot of ways is worse than Zilong as his brother put away his feelings for Awu after she got married.  Zitan hasn’t given up on her which is evidenced time and again from him leaving the mausoleum to go search for her after she was kidnapped, to him willingly walking into the palace during Zilu’s coup because he wanted to die with Awu if she was going to die.  He’s now progressed to fratricide and attempted murder of Awu’s husband but those are just progressions along the same road that we’ve seen him traveling for a while.

So to conclude I believe that the appearance of facial hair in this drama isn’t just to show the passage of time but to show evolution of character.  Xiao Qi, Zilong, Huaien, and Asu all evolved as characters along with the passage of time so their character’s visage changed to showcase that they are no longer the same people as who they were when they started the journey.  Some changes are good Zilong wasn’t have bad as an emperor for a potato, some changes remain to play out.  I’m not holding my breath in regards to Asu and Huaien’s changes being good.  Then you have a character like Zitan who refuses to change no matter what happens or the passage of time outside his little world view.  It could be 10 years later and Xiao Qi and Awu have a passel of kids running around and Zitan would likely still be holding onto the delusion that if he’s patient or does whatever scheme Awu will come running back into his arms.

I stole the screen caps from posts by @dangermousie​ and @orsuliya​,  I did not make any of them myself.

[christaline]

You telling me Huaien is a fucking traitor??? Really????? Like who ISNT a traitor at this point my god. There’s like 3-4 genuine people in this show and sadly one of them is fucking Zilong, the coward and not goddamn General Song😫

[thegreymoon]

Monarch Industry

Oh, is that so?

Smh. Shut up, you two-faced opportunist.

***

Oh, god 😑

This besotted loser! Like she doesn’t have enough to worry about without his delusional pampered ass there to hinder her. 

***

Looks like Wanru’s affection killing pill isn’t working as well as it should. 

***

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up 🤬🤬

I hold you in contempt, let alone her! You’re so fucking useless. How dare you show up like this after she’s married? 

Also, imagine thinking someone would leave Xiao Qi for the likes of him once you’ve had the opportunity to compare. 

***

OH, YOU DARE 🤬🤬

SHE WAITED FOR YOU IN THE RAIN THE ENTIRE NIGHT WHILE YOU TOOK YOUR SWEET TIME DEBATING WHETHER OR NOT TO COME. YOU SHOWED UP IN THE MORNING, WITH THE SUN HIGH UP IN THE SKY, AFTER HER FATHER HAD MURDERED AT LEAST 8 INNOCENT PEOPLE BECAUSE OF YOU. GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A CACTUS. 

***

Yes, princess, tell him to fuck off. 

It’s now been two episodes without Xiao Qi, and here we have this self-absorbed, spineless loser taking up all out time. Kick him out! 

***

YOU’VE ALREADY LOST HER, YOU MORON!

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT AFTER EXPERIENCING XIAO QI SHE WOULD EVER GO BACK TO YOUR USELESS SELF? GO DIE 💀💀

***

Well, shit. 

Here is your opportunity, Zitan, to be even more useless and embarrass yourself some more. 

***

She’s splendid 🔥🔥

***

AND WHAT’S THE USE OF YOU?

***

LMAO, he knows that the priest is poisoning him.

****

@orsuliya​ Awu’s collarbones, just for you 🖤

***

Aww, baby, I miss you! 😭

We all miss you! Please come and take back your screen time from the muppet!

***

Well, shit. 

***

I can’t believe they forced them into a retreat!

Go, general Song, go!!

***

NOOOO, THEY BREACHED THE GATE!

***

Oh, shut up and go yourself.

You are nothing but a nuisance anyway. Wearing white robes in the middle of a siege, how useless. Stop bothering her, can’t you see she’s busy, unlike some jobless people. 

***

YES, AWU, TELL HIM!!

THE WAY I STAN HER!! *waves all her flags*

***

Cackling like a deranged hyena rn 🤣🤣 

YES, PRINCESS, SPEAK ALL OUR MINDS!! 

***

XIAO QI, AT LAST!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭

IN HIS MAGNIFICENT EMBROIDERED CLOAK!! 

***

So much love for Song Huaien 💖💖

***

LMAOOOO, his face 🤣🤣

This is what happens when you meet a true God of War, asshole! 

***

NO, BUT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND 😭😭

I AM CURRENTLY REPORTING FROM A PUDDLE OF MY TEARS BECAUSE THEY ARE MURDERING ME 😭😭

***

They are, indeed! 🤗

***

Let’s see how she will explain the useless layabout to him, though. If he causes trouble between them, I will be pissed 😠

***

The way this asshole showed up to make things awkward with her husband and to stir shit up in her marriage 😠😠 Plus, he’s drunk off his ass and making a fool of himself. 

***

I can’t help but think that this writer had an axe to grind with an ex-boyfriend and wrote the Third Prince based on him as revenge 😂

The second-hand embarrassment is killing me!

***

He smiles and my heart is full 🤗

***

It just occurred to me that this wine the muppet was drinking must be something he brought HIMSELF. He didn’t bring arms, he didn’t bring people. He brought A BOTTLE OF WINE. 

***

Babies 🤗

***

God, look at them 😭😭

***

Somebody make them stop 😭😭

I caaaaaaan’t 😭😭😭😭

***

Well, this is more logical than the whole ‘killing affection’ pill. 

I thought it would be poison, but you never know with c-dramas what drugs with weird effects they will pull out of their sleeve. 

***

Smh.

***

The little maid is going to end up drinking this, isn’t she.

[tomorrowsdrama]

So the costumes in rebel princess are obviously beautiful and incredibly detailed.  But I love that the costuming also informs us about a character’s social standing and for some characters, their state of mind as well.  Or in Song Huaien’s case, how far into the dark side he’s gone.  He’s really the inspiration for this post.  As I was re-watching some of the early episodes while waiting for the new subs (shhh, I know I’m unhealthily obsessed with this drama), I noticed not only how drastically his costuming/hair has changed, but also that he’s pretty much a mirror of whoever he chooses to follow at the moment.  Cheng’s very own Single White Female without the obsessive craziness, if you will.  Delusional?  Sure.  But not quite crazy.

But first, let’s talk about the clothing of the noble class.  I’m sorry for this thesis that I’m going to inflict on everyone that no one asked for.  I’ve joked about the long trains on Awu/the nobles’ clothing before, but it’s clear that they are a sign of high status and wealth.  The higher ranked/wealthier you are, the longer your train is it seems.  Also, just in general, the nobles’ outfits usually include an abundance/overflowing of luxe silky and billowy material.  See:

And the nobles can afford to have such styles of clothing not just monetarily, but also lifestyle wise.  To put it bluntly, the nobles don’t have to do shit in their lives so they can afford to drag long trains of expensive fabric back and forth in their huge manors/the palace.  These clothes aren’t for functionality, but for beauty/showing off your wealth (whether intentionally or not).  If they need to go anywhere, they have comfy carriages to travel in instead of walking long distances.  If they need something?  That’s what servants are for.  I mean, just imagine how cumbersome it is to move around with such huge billowy sleeves and six feet of cloth dragging behind your ass.  You don’t have to imagine, just look at this scene where Daddy Wang visits Prime Minister Wen in prison (oh, how I regret taking this time for granted and condemning Daddy Wang for imprisoning that old fool):

Look at how his train drags over the threshold of the prison door.  Daddy Wang literally has to lift his train and throw it over a bench in order to sit down.  

The higher your status, the less physical activity you have to partake in a.k.a. the more useless you are, so it should come as no surprise that the longest train I’ve seen so far in the drama belongs to none other than our Useless Mopey Teenager Zitan:

The clothing choices are pretty deliberate, because whenever a character needs to do something more than just sit around enjoying tea (or wine if you’re Awu), they are given clothes that are more practical for moving around. Like the outfit Awu wore when she chased after her dad:

It’s much shorter than her usual garb and she’s wearing simple black pants underneath which makes horse riding and chasing after a traitorous father much more manageable.

What’s interesting is seeing the opposite happen with Hu Yao.  Hu Yao is usually in very practical and simple clothing since unlike the rest of the nobles in the capital, she has to fight against invaders and protect Cheng.  But when she goes to meet our Emo Emperor Zitan, of course she has to be dressed up in a big frou frou dress that makes it hard to walk:

It highlights just how impractical this type of extravagant clothing is for any kind of life other than a noble’s.  Hu Yao can barely walk without tripping over her own dress, let alone fight.  Also what the hell is that giant bow?

Now let’s talk about Daddy Wang’s clothes.  So before he gets exiled for attempting a coup, Daddy Wang was arguably the most powerful man in court.  He was the head of the Wangs, the most influential noble family in Cheng.  The past 10 empresses of the empire were daughters of the Wang clan, and his sister, the current empress, listened to whatever he said (for the most part).  Also his nephew wass the crown prince and easily manipulated.  He’s also wealthy AF so his status and wealth was apparent in his clothing.

Look at the sheen on that fabric and all that intricate embroidery work!  But then of course, he gets exiled and understandably has to put on some more humble clothing:

Simple, unembellished clothing made of coarse fabric that can withstand moving through the fields and rough terrain while you covertly make your way towards your disappointment of a son.  What really sticks out to me though, is his wardrobe choice after he reunites with the turnip.  Instead of going back to the lavish and ornate clothing he used to wear, he opts for an understated gray and black outfit with no long train in sight:

Turnip obviously can afford to put his dad in fancier clothing.  I mean look at the gaudy over-embroidered monstrosity that he’s wearing.  But it makes sense that Daddy Wang has now opted for something a bit more subdued and modest.  He’s been defeated once and is no longer the powerful prime minister he used to be.  Also, the Wangs do not hold as much clout as they used to because 1) empress has gone mad; 2) potato emperor is dead; and 3) the official head of the Wangs is now...Turnip.  

But make no mistake, his clothes may be simpler than before, but they’re still made out of very nice materials. He is after all, still Daddy Wang.  And Wang will rise again if he can help it! 

Next we have the seagull.  Ugh, yuck, gross, I hate her.  Anyway, now that I’ve gotten the bad taste out of my mouth...So for the majority of the drama we see her in light pastel colored clothing with little to no make up as if to imply that she’s a sweet, innocent thing:

She’s also usually pretty covered up.  But then she becomes Concubine Su (ugh) and all of a sudden she’s in bold colors, wearing red lipstick, and most noticeably, gotten very breast-y

Man, did Seagull make a wrong turn and accidentally stumble onto the set of The Empress of China?  She’s definitely got the tackiness to fit in with them.  This drastic shift in styling is clearly to signal to the audience that Seagull is now a seductress ready to do whatever it takes to hold onto that magical flute and never let go.  Also, whereas before she was a snake hiding in the grass, now it’s all out in the open (at least to the Wangs) just like her bosom.

Look, she even gets her own long train to reflect just how useless she is.

And finally, we have Song Huaien, Cheng’s very own Single White Female who molds himself to whoever he happens to follow and takes on their personality and principals (or lack thereof).

In the beginning, he is stuck to Xiao Qi’s side like a shadow, dresses similar to him, and even wears his hair like him.  He’s like the kid brother who copies everything his cooler older brother does because he looks up to him. 

Notably, he’s the only one in the Ningshuo crew who wears his hair down with a half bun, just like Xiao Qi.  Hu Guanglie (RIP best bro) is XQ’s oldest friend and literally devoted his life to him, but he’s also his own man and did not need to copy XQ.  He never wanted to be him, he only wanted to serve him. 

If you didn’t pay attention, you wouldn’t be able to tell who’s who.

When you follow a brave, honorable general who’s sex on legs, you too will be a brave, honorable and sexy general.  Song Huaien never looked better than when he tried to emulate Xiao Qi.

Interestingly, when Song Huaien goes off with Awu and starts to fall for her, he also starts to incorporate some color into his previously all-black wardrobe.  I guess spring arrived in his heart even though it was the cold winter:

Hm, now I’m starting to wonder if a part of his crush on Awu wasn’t influenced by his desire to be like XQ a little bit.  And then, sigh, he starts to get tempted by the riches of the capital city and the internal shift in his character is materialized externally through how he wears his hair in his first appearance in court:

This is the first time we’ve seen him wear his hair in any style other than the usual loose half bun.  And of course, his top knot conforms and fits in with how the rest of the ministers wear their hair.  Now contrast that with Xiao Qi who only wore his hair in a top knot once:

and then promptly went back to his usual hair style:

Sure, he looked good with the top knot (when does he never look good), but it wasn’t him.  Unlike Song Huaien, XQ is secure in himself and knows who he is.  He is not easily swayed or corrupted.  That is why he is able to remain just like how he always has been, internally and externally.

The next change we see in Song’s appearance is his armor.  Now that he is Count Suyi, his armor is noticeably more ornate.  Unlike XQ’s armor, which remains pretty much the same barebones armor we’ve seen since the beginning, Song’s gets fancier and fancier as he gets more lured in by the nicer things in life.

At this point, his hair is still down like before.  But then the next time we see him after his wedding, his hair style is changed into a high ponytail:

Which is a very good look, don’t get me wrong, but it is again another physical representation of the change happening in Song internally.  It’s kind of a weird limbo he’s in because it’s not completely a top knot, but it’s definitely neater and closer to a top knot than his previous hairstyle.  At this stage, Song hasn’t completely crossed over to the dark side quite yet.  He’s still kind of wavering and going back and forth.  So a high ponytail that is a shift from his prior hairstyle but not quite the same as the nobles’ hairstyle makes sense.  He keeps this look for a while and even momentarily goes back to his less fancy self while dealing with the floods away from the capital.  That is, until he joins hands (or is it roots?) with Turnip and it’s all downhill from there, character-wise and also appearance-wise.

First, we have this very ill-advised mustache and goatee which mimics the same facial hair Turnip all of sudden started sporting:

Matching facial hair to commemorate their entry onto the shit list, perhaps?  Anyway, turns out facial hair isn’t for everyone, including Song Huaien.  But this isn’t even the worst of it.  As Song Huaien continues his descent into being a greedy, spineless, puppet for Turnip (HIM of all people! or should I say, of all root vegetables?), he gets uglier and uglier.  I mean:

He looks downright haggard and as if he aged 20 years overnight.  Notably though, he looks exactly like the rest of the useless ministers in court.  He has definitely lost the sheen, vigor, and hotness that he once had when he was following XQ.  It’s as if the ugly inside is reflected on the outside as well.

I guess when you follow a weaselly coward like Turnip, you too will turn into a weaselly coward.  Oh Song Huaien, Song Huaien.  What a disappointment you turned out to be, you dumb, greedy bastard.   

[orsuliya]

The Rebel Princess Carry Top 8 List

Rebel Princess who?

If you are reading this list, you probably already know everything there is to know about The Rebel Princess. For all the newcomers: I advise you to strap in, watch, enjoy and prepare yourselves for any unreasonable expectations towards prospective male partners that you may acquire in the process.

Carrying of princesses or princess carries

For the purposes of this list we shall define a princess carry as an act in which person A carries person B in their arms, with one arm placed beneath either thighs or knees, the other supporting the back and the body of person B being held close to person A’s chest. Just like a groom carrying his bride, hence the alternative name of a bridal carry.

Furthermore, we shall only accept those attempts in which a defined element of lifting the carried person can be observed. A carry is a carry, a catch is a catch, no matter how delightful such a princess catch happens to be. This automatically disqualifies catches performed by Zitan and Xiao Qi in, respectively, episodes 2. and 4.

Similarly disqualified are all instances of potato sack hefts, such as the one performed by Potato in episode 4. with Xie Wanru playing the role of the sack, as well as any other hefts, lifts or carries where the carried person is not merely supported, but rather fully embraced by arms coming at them from opposite directions.

Attention! Despite the name stating otherwise, the carried person does not, in fact, have to be a princess, thus any titles carried by the carried person will have no influence on the final score.

Why Top 8

Why Top 8, you might ask. Well, there are exactly eight proper princess carries in the whole 68-episode-long drama. Which, by the way, gives us one princess carry every eight and a half episodes or 0.12 of a princess carry per single episode.

Scoring criteria

Since the purpose of this list is to objectively estimate the respective value of each princess carry and then use those results to rank all the attempts accordingly, from the feeblest to the most admirable, we are in need of a comprehensive scoring system. After some deliberations the judging panel (namely me) has managed to create exactly such a system, which was then approved by an independent third party (also me, but in a different hat). Each attempt shall receive a score from 0 to 10 points; this score being the sum of four components: Style, Technique, Hotness and Excellence. Those four main components encompass partial, specific criteria; see the explanation below.

Style: This particular component is mostly used to give proper value to such vital characteristics as artistry and flair. However, those are not by any means the only considerations the judging panel will take into account while awarding the total score. The intention behind any given attempt is to be established and subsequently used to judge how well the chosen style suits the purpose of the carry in question and whether it adequately fulfills any goals and needs that may have been expressed or set before the commencement of the attempt itself. The judging panel reserves the right to make demerits based on handling of clothing and accessories, as needed.

Technique: While proper technique of executing a princess carry is most important and ought to be assessed with exceptional care, it is far from the only criteria taken into account while rating general technique of any one attempt. After all, lifting a person in one thing and actually carrying them a very different one. Thus, whenever possible, we will observe and judge the endurance exhibited during the attempt in question; if such an observation proves to be impossible for any reason, a reasonable estimation may serve as an acceptable substitute. Moreover, since any princess carry has to be judged on its merits, the overall difficulty of any attempt must be first established, depending on the probable disparity between the strength of the carrier and the weight of the carried person as well as other factors, such as any floppiness or lack of a proper latch on the neck of the carrier.

Hotness: Recognizing that overall hotness is not a criteria that can be judged objectively, the judging panel hereby undertakes to use more precise methods of measurement, such as: reaction of any independent witnesses, if any are present, emotional reaction of the carrier, the carried person or both, whichever applies and the general mood set by any particular attempt. If any of the aforementioned methods cannot be used for any reason, the judging panel reserves the right to supplement this component with individual hotness assessments made by qualified experts (also me, but horny).

Excellence: Any exceptional elements or unique characteristics, which the judging panel feels might not have been rewarded properly while scoring the other components, will be subject to a rather subjective criteria of overall excellence.

The individual components can receive the following maximum point values:

Style: 3 points

Technique: 3 points

Hotness: 3 points

Excellence: 1 point

AND NOW TO THE LIST PROPER!

Number 8. Song Huaien gets recruited to escort a rather shaken Yuxiu to a doctor – episode 36.

Style: 0.5 points

What style can we even speak of when one of the parties involved makes no attempt at hiding their utter lack of interest in anything even remotely approaching artistry or feeling? Truly, never has there been a carrier less gracious; that the purpose of this exercise is to escort Yuxiu to a doctor is neither here nor there and serves as no excuse for the decided lack of any flair. After all, technically this is an engagement carry, seeing as Song Huaien announces his intention to make Yuxiu his main wife halfway through its duration. Moreover, he has the easiest possible dress to deal with and still manages to bunch it up, if only a little.

Technique: 2.5 points

A truly great lift it is not, although a more or less correct one, at least if we were speaking of pure utility. Still, Song Huaien manages to position Yuxiu in his arms in one move, no further jostling into place needed. Although this may be helped by the fact that she hooks her own hand around his neck even before he gets her off the ground. What is rather impressive is Song Huaien’s undeniable endurance: he not only manages to carry Yuxiu through two entire courtyards, going up and down the stairs, but also makes it look surprisingly easy. Why, at one point he even breaks into a trot. That Yuxiu is hands down the smallest female to be carried in this drama is another matter; he still does rather well and his posture leaves nothing to be desired throughout the entire carry.

Hotness: 0.4 points

There is much to be said about the utter lack of any emotion from Song Huaien other than pure unwillingness to even exist in this particular time and place. No show of strength or endurance will ever compensate for that. The witnesses do not seem to be overly impressed either; why, Awu cuts off Song Huaien’s declaration of intent and physically hurries him away, while no other person present at the scene pays any attention whatsoever to Huaien’s feat. Sheer competence might have been enough to raise the final score, if not for one thing: Yuxiu holds herself very, very stiff for most of the time, trying to look smaller and not, by any chance, lean into Song Huaien’s chest. It’s only at the very end that she makes a conscious effort to do so and that finally brings the element of positive emotion into play.

Excellence: 0.1 points

We admit that there is something rather special about the sheer awkwardness of this princess carry.  It certainly is not easy to forget this heap of stiff, sad mess.

Total score: 3.5 points

Number 7. Potato does his absolute best to show Xie Wanru his love – episode 45.

Style: 1.2 points

There is something to be said for Potato’s (faulty) confidence as well as for his single-minded intent to show Xie Wanru the depth of his care for her and Miracle Fetus. That he doesn’t properly succeed is a different matter altogether. Yet it cannot be denied that there is a certain flair to his approach, if not to the actual execution of the princess carry itself. One also has to question the validity of deciding to princess carry one’s wife while standing at the foot of the bed, although that might simply mean that Potato chose to be surprisingly realistic about his capabilities.

Technique: 1 point

The fact that Potato even manages to lift Xie Wanru, much less to a proper princess carry height, is a rather impressive feat, particularly taking into account that he is, well, Potato and Xie Wanru is no sylphid. Moreover, he really does rather well on the upswing, applying a reasonable amount of force, certainly enough to get her to the required, if not particularly awe-inspiring level. What is surprising is that - when the scene is rewatched closely - it does seem like he actually manages to lock his grip and stop Wanru on the downswing, if only for a moment. What does get him is her fearful reaction; and even then he does manage to let her down in a controlled manner. Sadly, Potato’s attempt should be properly classified as a princess lift rather than a princess carry, since there is no actual carrying going on; this makes it hard to estimate his endurance.

Hotness: 1.4 points

The judging panel would like to notify all sundry that its opinions are meant to be devoid of any personal prejudices and as close to true objectivity as it is even possible. Which means that it must be admitted that there is something rather… warm about the pre- and post-carry playfulness exhibited by both parties, regardless of the momentary fear and panic shown during the latter half of the carry itself. Moreover, the general mood of the scene remains in place in spite of Potato’s incompetence and objective failure. Truly, it is a great pity we cannot see how any of Wanru’s maids might have reacted to Potato’s shenanigans. “It’s a rather lovely moment of marital playfulness,” says our expert, “one perhaps made even more spectacular by Potato’s failure to fulfill his original goal. And really, it does prove once and for all that potatoes should be served warm, not cold!”

Excellence: 0.8 points

It may not be quite fair to award points based on the sheer unexpectedness of ever seeing this particular carry, but there you have it. Objectively speaking, Potato’s sheer excitement and playfulness alone might have managed to win the judging panel over, but the fact that a root vegetable somehow managed to pull off a princess… lift is even more impressive.

Total score: 4.4 points

Number 6. Gatekeeper steps in for Zitan and carries Su Jin’er out of the dungeon – episode 57.

Style: 1.1 points

It is debatable whether there is much flair or artistry to this particular princess carry, despite it being executed in rather dramatic circumstances and in no less dramatic surroundings. However, that is not the purpose of this attempt; what Gatekeeper is actually meant to do is to conduct a rescue, which he certainly does in a rather professional, matter-of-fact manner. There is, however, one element to his behaviour, which may seem rather out of place; notice that he stops before Zitan in such a way that Su Jin’er’s legs actually bump into Prime Minister Wen. As to whether he does it on purpose, well, that certainly seems to be the case.

Technique: 2.9 points

That Gatekeeper is a surprisingly competent man, especially for an Imperial Mook. Not only does he manage to lift an unconscious Su Jin’er from a slumped, almost horizontal position, but he also attempts it while in full mail. What’s more, he does pretty well with arranging her in his arms despite her overall floppiness and then moves around tight spaces with no visible effort. As if that was not enough, he then carries her up a great number of very steep stairs and then, presumably, all the way to the palace proper. Really, the only thing one might find any problems with is Su Jin’er’s relatively low position in Gatekeeper’s arms, especially where her legs are concerned; and even that might be the result of trying to provide more support for her head.

Hotness: 0.6 points

While an unconscious Su Jin’er is unable to express any kind of reaction and even if it was not so, she would most probably act disappointed in the identity of her actual carrier, there is something very reassuring about the matter-of-fact manner in which this particular princess carry is executed. “Competence is something rather attractive, no matter its source,” says our expert, “and there is a certain romantic air about the idea of being literally carried out of danger.”

Excellence: 0.5 points

There is something to be said for a competent substitute, although this rather novel approach to princess carries might be not to everybody’s taste. And yet it spared us from having to watch Zitan making his own attempt, for which the judges are, for one, undeniably grateful.

Total score: 5.1 points

Number 5. Xiao Qi rescues Awu from the evils of excessive alcohol consumption – episode 13.

Style: 2 points

Never has there been a carry more utilitarian in purpose; Xiao Qi makes a decision to get his wife to bed and immediately executes it, no hesitation or half-measures needed nor wanted! And yet even then he cannot deny himself that one tiny show of flair on the upswing. Why, I do believe that at one point Awu’s knees are positioned higher than her head, if only for a moment!

Technique: 3 points

There is much to be admired about Xiao Qi’s technique; he manages to lift Awu up in one fluent move, using the considerable power of that upswing to position her in one go so well that it requires no further corrections. Which raises a question of where and when he might have learned to do that, seeing as it’s the very first attempt we see on-screen (somebody must have brought Awu back from the bridge, don’t you think?). Xiao Qi carries Awu all the way to bed, which may not be a great distance, but still a considerable one. Especially as she is out of it and thus unable to help support her own weight by holding onto his neck or shoulders, although she still tucks her arm in, stopping herself from achieving total floppiness.

Hotness: 1 point

Since Awu is out of it and Xiao Qi’s face is full of determination to get his wife to bed… but for altogether too innocent reasons, there is little that can be said for overall hotness of this scene. The only witness for whose reaction we might have hoped, namely Yuxiu, is also unconscious, which forces us to ask the experts for their opinion. “Somewhat hotter than lukewarm by the sheer force of Xiao Qi’s competence in executing that carry,” said I, nodding with great authority.

Excellence: 0.7 points

The judging panel remains in awe of the exceptional fluidity with which Xiao Qi manoeuvred Awu’s body into his arms.

Total score: 6.7 points

Number 4. Zilu starts celebrating Mi’er’s birthday in a very appropriate manner – episode 22.

Style: 2.4 points

From what little we can observe, Zilu, who is a rather artistic man on any given day, is no less artful when it comes to celebrating his beloved’s birthday. A proper princess carry is just the way to go; still, there remains a question of whether a planned and possibly rehearsed carry is just as good or maybe even better than an improvised one. Zilu’s is certainly planned, judging from the way he arranges himself in the doorway and then carries Mi’er through the entire courtyard, door-to-door. What is admirable is that he miraculously manages to deal with her very difficult dress; perhaps it could have been arranged better, for it does get somewhat bunched up… but it’s a good attempt nonetheless.

Technique: 2.1 points

Sadly, we have been robbed of seeing the actual lift, all thanks to Pang Gui the Inept Ninja. Still, there is much that can be assumed based on the prelude, which we do see, and the carry itself. Zilu’s stretched out hand is undoubtedly very steady, which speaks to his confidence in the subsequent maneuver. The carry itself is rather less steady – Mi’er seems to rest rather low and even sways at one point, although that can be excused since Zilu is climbing the stairs at that very moment. All the same, Mi’er does clutch onto him rather tightly with a fully functional grip.  And yes, Zilu does manage to climb a few stairs, which, together with the fact that he carries Mi’er through the entire courtyard, is a surprising feat for a Ma prince. Those, as you know, are not particularly known for their fitness.

Hotness: 2.2 points

It is rather hard to say what Zilu’s two servants might think about his princess carry, even if they do go to their knees. What is quite remarkable, on the other hand, is that Pang Gui stills for a good moment or two, seemingly for no other reason than to observe this great feat. Unfortunately, we do not see Mi’er’s face, although it is obvious from Zilu’s pre- and post-carry reaction that he at least must take great enjoyment from the very idea of surprising his lady in this manner. “There is a tangible promise of great enthusiasm and surprising endurance right in that princess carry,” says our expert, “which raises the temperature quite considerably.”

Excellence: 0.3 points

Not a memorable princess carry by any means; there is a reason why it was missing from the original list of contenders despite the rather unexpected carrier. Still, it is a birthday carry, which certainly makes it one of a kind.

Total score: 7 points

Number 3. Xiao Qi rescues Awu from the evils of lonely garden strolls  – episode 18.

Style: 2.7 points

Excellent handling of a rather difficult multi-layered dress on Xiao Qi’s part! Somehow he manages to lift Awu in such a way as to fan out all the layers for maximum aesthetic effect, while at the same time not leaving them to hang so low as to hinder his steps. The overall style is rather sentimental, which suits their surroundings, if not the occasion itself.

Technique: 2.1 points

The lift itself is not quite forceful enough to allow Xiao Qi to arrange his wife correctly on the first try; he does have to jostle her into position. Although this is pretty understandable, seeing as they go straight from an embrace to a full carry with no space to catch momentum in between. Awu is quite a helpful princess on this occasion, holding onto Xiao Qi’s shoulder with a solid, if not overly firm grip and bringing her head close to his chest, which redistributes her bodyweight in a rather helpful manner. The distance to their bed is presumably not that great, taking into account the general layout of the house, but it would still take more than a few steps to get there.

Hotness: 2.6 points

No witnesses to be had, but Awu seems properly impressed during the lift itself. In fact, there might have even been a tiny gasp! Once properly in the air, she shows proper appreciation as well as undeniable trust in the strength of her husband’s arms. Xiao Qi, on the other hand, may look rather restrained to an untrained eye; make no mistake, though, there is undeniable pride there and a not very subtle promise of things to come in form of a smile. “Trust,” says our expert, “is a very warm feeling in proper circumstances” and we concur heartily with this opinion.

Excellence: 0.5 points

There is little else to be said about this particular carry, although there is something truly remarkable about Awu’s helpfulness and utter trust; the judges hold an opinion that a proper carry is just like a tango – meant for two.

Total score: 7.9 points

Number 2. Xiao Qi bridal carries his princess of a bride to their chamber – episode 33.

Style: 3 points

There is masterful handling of clothes and then there are miracles. What Xiao Qi is doing on this occasion can be nothing but the latter; somehow he manages to execute a princess carry while managing his own floor-length ceremonial robes, Awu’s difficult dress with exceedingly long sleeves and a train as well as both of their trailing cloaks. All the while displaying this unwieldy finery to its full magnificence and somehow not landing on his face. Although he noticeably deploys no other dramatic gestures nor tricks except for some very touching and impressively prideful sweet-talk, so it seems like this miracle does require a lot of concentration. But do we really need additional bells and whistles in this case? The judges seem to hold a rather firm opinion on that matter: a bridal carry it is supposed to be and a bridal carry it is, for it really does not get any more bridal, at least not without some reality-shattering shenanigans.

Technique: 2.2 points

Unfortunately, we are again devoid of the opportunity to see the actual lift, which seems like a true pity, taking into account the probable level of difficulty caused by all this wedding finery. Once again Awu is being held rather high, although, to be fair, rather unsteadily – for Xiao Qi, that is, not unsteadily in a particularly dangerous or even visible manner. There is also the matter of her grip; this time Awu locks her hands around Xiao Qi’s neck, which might indicate the need for further support. It is hard to estimate the distance which they might have crossed as we do not know the starting point, but it must have been a rather considerable one and those robes cannot be light.

Hotness: 2.7 points

Having female attendants literally giggle once hit with the aura of overwhelming hotness should be proof enough that this princess carry is truly something special. If it is not, then there is always the look of undisguised manly pride on Xiao Qi’s face, only further affirmed by his words. “Few things can fan the flames quicker than a prime display of manly confidence,” confirms our expert, blushing violently, “as long, of course, as it does not cross over into toxic machoism. In this case we can feel absolutely safe, there is no doubt as to that.” The judging panel, however, decided to award a demerit for a visible lack of surety or excitement on Awu’s face; although caused by external matters, it does seem to retract from the overall mood.

Excellence: 1 point

I am sure that nobody can deny that this particular bridal carry is the most bridal of them all. There is literally no further height to strive for, as far as bridal carries are concerned.

Total score: 8.9 points

AND NOW FOR OUR NUMBER ONE PRINCESS CARRY...

Number 1. Xiao Qi cannot wait to give Awu all the children – episode 29.

Style: 3 points

There is showing off your wife’s beautiful clothes and there is just plain showing off your skills at the former. Xiao Qi shows himself to be the master of both, somehow allowing Awu’s train to hang very close to its full length and yet managing it in such a way that it doesn’t hinder his steps in the least. He also does it while seemingly paying no attention to his own steps, which takes it to a wholly different level, and while at that, he adds a lot of eye-contact and even a heartbreakingly gentle nuzzle. No wonder that towards the end we can observe a quietly triumphant look under all that manly confidence… and no wonder that this particular carry gets its very own rather dramatic music accompaniment.

Technique: 2.4 points

It is rather unfortunate that we were not able to observe the execution of the lift, although there is no doubt that it is was correct at the very least. What we do see, however, is that Awu is being held very high, which indicates an application of considerable force on the upswing, something that Xiao Qi has already proven himself to be more than capable of. At the same time, the difficulty of this particular carry is rather low due to a rather trifling distance as well as Awu helping quite a lot with how she holds her body and with that gentle, yet very solid grip. However, the judging panel is forced to admit that the steadiness of Xiao Qi’s hold is truly a sight to behold; it takes a true master in order to maintain such a minute face-to-face distance without touching and yet avoid any unpleasant bumps.

Hotness: 3 points

Never has there been a carry more deserving of an NC-17 rating. Even without the prelude there is no doubt whatsoever as to the purpose of this particular exercise; the look which Xiao Qi and Awu share speaks just as loudly as five full-blown kisses would have in any other circumstances. And a smouldering look is not the only thing they share: why, at one point they seem to share the same breath, which turns the chemistry up to unimaginable levels. At the same time, this scorching hotness is masterfully tempered by a sense of pure tenderness and intimacy, which causes the judging panel to bitterly regret their promise not to exceed the maximum score for any single component.

Excellence: 1 point

This princess carry really has everything that an ideal princess carry should have, which is undeniably a kind of excellence in itself. However, that is not what convinced the judges to award the highest number of points possible in this category, but rather the fact that more than one expert has pointed out this particular scene as the reason of their own imminent pregnancy, sometimes with twins or even triplets.

Total score: 9.4 points

[all the amazing gifs used in this list were provided by the ever-generous @storge​]

[orsuliya]

This part (4 of who knows how many) of my Awu/Xiao Qi married headcanons resembles nothing more that a dying whale full of confused feelings. Which is exactly what I would swiftly turn to left alone with this drama without @madeleineengland’s continuous friendship and support. What I actually want to say is: Happy Birthday, my dear! I am thankful to have met you. I hope you like this instalment, even if I couldn’t quite manage to fit in a kneeling Song Huaien. Sorry!

There are some things that no woman can choose for herself. Some things simply happen – or not – as they please with no regard to wishful thinking or social status. A princess or a gravedigger’s daughter, a young maiden or a stately matron, none can simply will themselves pregnant, no matter how many prayers have left their lips and how many offerings have graced the altars, set there by gentle hands yearning to hold a living, breathing child instead of a bowl of rice or a stick of precious incense.

And yet, no matter how many times she whispers this truth to herself in the middle of the night, Xiao Qi’s broad hand resting on her lower belly in a sincere attempt to soothe the twinges of pain that come every single month without fail, there are still moments when Awu cannot help feeling as if she’s failing in the worst of ways. Not failing her husband, for until the day she dies she will never forget the truth shining in his eyes, still fever-bright from Wang Qian’s vile mixture despite the self-inflicted blood loss. And not even the twelve generations of Wang Empresses. After all, hadn’t she courted their disapproval already by choosing to walk through life hand in hand with her husband instead of living torn in half until her very last breath? No, the person whom she fails is always herself.

And in her mind she fails a lot. There is a bitter taste on her tongue as she pushes Xiao Qi’s wise, warm hand off her abdomen and rises from their shared bed to stand at the window, throwing open the shutters and trying to breathe, even as the feeling of warm blood pooling between her thighs makes her remember her first and worst failure, committed right in the middle of the palace courtyard. There were pamphlets, she knows, vicious, cruel rumours of how she bled her baby out from sheer disgust of having been bred by a man born nobody knows of whom and where. Only after every wagging tongue had already been silenced with a cloak of red silk set around her shoulders, did she realize that half the court must have been tittering excitedly over the prospect of seeing the proud Wang daughter set aside and brought as low as she had once sat high. And they hadn’t been kind about it, going as far as to comment that her swift appearance at the scene of the coup must have been motivated by her eagerness to be rid of her spouse as the balance of power finally shifted. Fools, what blind, base-minded fools all those high-born courtiers – many of them her distant kin – have turned out to be!

Princess Shangyang wouldn’t have felt such dark, all-consuming anger. Princess Shangyang, as Awu has learned in all her years as Princess Yuzhang, had been something of a fool, a bird kept in a gilded cage, encouraged to sing and chirp happily regardless of how the bars of that cage withered her wings. It was only later that this caged songbird discovered that she was no songbird at all, but a bird of prey. And like a bird of prey Awu wishes she had known of every single salacious rumour – but only so that she could tear their originators to shreds for using her poor never-born first child for their own vicious purposes, for making a spectacle out of her – their – pain.

In her anger she barely notices how her fingers have curled tightly over the windowsill… at least until big, calloused hands descend onto hers and she finds herself cradled in Xiao Qi’s loose, yet strangely grounding embrace. For a moment she wishes to slip away, to escape and simply be angry, no matter how futile it may be after so many years… And had he tried to lead her back to bed, had he spoken a single word, she might have done just that, but there is only silence between them. Only slightly unreal, moonlight-washed silence and Awu feels the flames of her anger sputter and go out, leaving only bitter, choking ash of regret.

Yet there is one kernel of failure she can exorcise right here and now for both of their sakes, even if it can never be made right in this life. If I have children of my blood, she says, allowing herself to let go of the magical ‘when’ this one time, seeing them entered into the Xiao family book would bring me greater honour and joy than if they were feted as princes and princesses of the first rank. And maybe after a moment she feels the need to explain further, to say that she would have been honoured to act as a filial daughter-in-law to his parents, no matter their birth and status, but before she can get out a word, he manages to catch her off-guard. Not with a kiss to the side of her neck, that much she has come to expect always, but rather with his quiet, sleepily tender reply: Before we get to filling any pages, we need to have a book in the first place. Help me with that in the morning? And what can she do in response to that except hum in agreement and lean backwards?

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Some things simply happen – or not – as they please. Which does not mean one should not help them along in any way that comes to mind. Or several minds, as it happens in this case.

Doctor Shen, however wise and famous, is far from the only – or even the best – available authority on the matters of female body, partially due to not being of female persuasion himself. Unlike, for example, his assistant and niece Shen Yunxin, an aspiring female doctor in her own right. Once that accomplished, if rather young lady managed to make herself heard, she swiftly rose in Xiao Qi’s regard, and would have done so for her gumption alone, even if her medical skills hadn’t been excellent in the first place. Shen Yunxin, skipping the dancing-around that most of her male colleagues invariably tended to degrade to in the presence of any person of power, rather daringly announced that perhaps instead of concentrating solely on curing Awu’s infertility – and thank you, the acupuncture treatments she herself administers every week are going just as planned – they should perhaps focus on the picture as a whole. That is, after all, what a doctor should look at first, right? Especially as there is no material proof of Xiao Qi’s high fertility. The ‘or is there now?’ part remained unspoken; even though Shen Yunxin came to like her primary patient a lot and had her own reasons to distrust men and their promises, she – this time and always – held to the standards of professional behaviour.

Awu, for her part, really enjoys seeing Xiao Qi drinking bitter herbal concoctions of his own. Even if she might not be all that convinced by Shen Yunxin’s words, it surely cannot hurt anything. And why should she be the only one to suffer under a tyrannical medical regime? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. And if in truth Xiao Qi doesn’t mind the taste at all, who would blame him for exaggerating a little for his wife’s amusement? Certainly not his wife, who has seen through his play-acting at once and swiftly decided that there is something to this mouth-to-mouth method of feeding particularly vile medicines to recalcitrant patients.

And yet Shen Yunxin isn’t the only fount of knowledge to be found in Ningshuo and, truth be told, has shown much interest in the secrets of folk medicine herself, especially as practiced by Alima’s kinswomen. Although some of those women, in particular Alima’s crone of a grandmother, have proven astonishingly… direct and rather shameless with their advice, to the tune of making a fully-fledged practitioner and an old married woman such as Awu, both of them hardly prone to prudishness, blush like girls not yet through their hair-pinning ceremonies. Or perhaps the advice was actually fine and tamer that one might expect. The enthusiastic appreciation that Alima’s kinswomen seem to hold for Xiao Qi, however, could probably fluster anybody, much less the man’s wife!

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It is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that Awu decided to follow the kindly-meant advice of Alima’s grandmother. After all, the woman had successfully given birth to nine babies and gotten eight of them to adulthood, which would make anybody pay attention. Perhaps there is something to be said for the value of hard-won experience? And perhaps it was Shen Yunxin’s acupuncture skills that helped in the end, or even her insistence to look at the greater picture first. Or Doctor Shen’s bitter tinctures, or Xiao Qi’s unwavering, ah, helpfulness. Or possibly the fact that Awu finally decided that what will be will be and threw herself with doubled energy into the whirlpool of domestic concerns… which are truly never-ending, if one counts an entire province as one’s home.

Whatever the cause, Awu eventually achieved her goal… And yet she was among the last ones to actually suspect anything, the first being Xiao Qi and A-Yue, who had informed Doctor Shen and Shen Yunxin respectively, after having noticed some rather peculiar changes. A lady’s maid knows her mistress better than her own husband, although in this case, with the husband being an exceptionally affectionate one, that might not ring quite so true. Incidentally, the symptom that both of them had noticed was Awu’s sudden heightened sense of smell combined with a rather noticeably expressed aversion to her previously favourite perfume, which, you must admit, is a rather worrying sign.

As it turns out, both the uncle and niece had a good idea of Awu’s state, going by her last bleeding being more of a spotting than anything else – and you may bet Shen Yunxin monitors that closely – and yet they remained unable to fully ascertain their suspicions without any clear accompanying signs, nor were they willing to give any early hope, which may later be dashed. In fact, Doctor Shen would have preferred to avoid any agitation whatsoever for at least a week or two more, having had difficult experiences with this patient in particular, but one look at Prince Yuzhang’s face had him rethink that plan. Had Hu Guanglie been there – or alive in the first place – he would have immediately recognized that expression as Xiao Qi getting ready for battle, which he is quite sure he can win… but not entirely sure, with his doubt rising with every hour of there being no news of enemy movements. But even an amateur would be immediately wary of this sudden tension, for all that it might be hidden under an impressive facade of pretended calm. And Doctor Shen, after thirty years of practicing medicine among the upper echelons of Cheng nobility and staying alive – which is no mean feat – has learned to be quite sensitive to his powerful employers’ moods. As a survival tactic, if nothing else.

Another important skill, which Doctor Shen hasn’t yet imparted onto his niece, is judging when and where a doctor’s presence might be wanted... and when and where it is most certainly not needed. Pulling Shen Yunxin from the room by her sleeve might seem like a rather abrupt reaction, but it was by no means unjustified. Some things are simply not meant to be seen by outsiders. Prince and Princess Yuzhang facing each other and simply looking into each other’s eyes in perfect, tremulously joyful silence before the Princess lets out a hiccuping laugh and hides her suspiciously shining eyes against her husband’s collarbone is certainly one of those.

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Xiao Qi’s first emotion after hearing the news is joy, then absolute panic – as far as that man ever panics, that is – and then steely determination most usually reserved for military planning. Having heard one word too many about miscarriage being a real possibility this early on makes him frantic and this in turn means that something really, really foolish is about to happen. Something like riding for the capital with only ten thousand troops. Something like going into Hulan alone. Something like dealing ungodly amounts of damage and letting his hair fly loose. Hu Guanglie would call this state a silence before mass decapitation. Were he there and alive, that is. Thankfully Hu Yao is both alive and there (deal with it, people!) and manages to redirect this thrumming energy into something actually constructive, which is probably the only thing that saves Awu and Xiao Qi from having an epic row over a series of very unreasonable ideas. Like, for example, shutting Awu in her rooms in the middle of Ningshuo Fortress and standing guard over her until the baby is born.

Meanwhile, Awu’s behaviour couldn’t be more different from that exhibited by her very own husband. Now that her years of continuous disappointment are over, she refuses to even consider that something might go wrong. At least not during waking hours, when she’s surrounded by a steady throng of people and children; and there is no way she would ever agree to being imprisoned in her rooms, although she agrees to retiring at the first sign of true fatigue and actually keeps her word, which causes her to share more than one nap in the middle of the day with little Song Guanglie. Which, in turn, makes for a pretty mellow Princess, especially right after she rises.

Which is exactly why this is the exact moment the brilliant tactician Hu Yao chooses to inform Awu that her fool of a husband (even if she doesn’t use exactly those words, she means exactly that) has evaporated with a troop of six into direction unknown, which may or may not be Hu Yao’s fault. Awu confirms that yes, Xiao Qi came in as she slept, woke her up briefly and said something about going on a short trip, promising to return as swiftly as possible. The look on Hu Yao’s face is rather telling and a tiny bit guilty.

That little overnight trip? Hu Yao is reasonably certain it is a hunt for something big and impressive. A local variety of wolf? A big feline of unfriendly persuasion? Probably not Hulan raiders, such as they are those days; she is rather insistent on that last point and for a good reason. That reason being that Xiao Qi had been making things strangely tense in the training yards, which are Hu Yao’s rightful domain, and so she decided to get rid of him by asking about preparations for the birth, no matter that the happy event may be six months away yet, and describing in great detail the extent of the prospective father’s involvement in those.

And seeing as it’s paramount – for future good fortune and the safety of both the mother and the baby – that no products of the birth are allowed to touch the ground, hence the need to provide a layer of ash, rushes or perhaps a cow’s skin as is the case in the wealthier families of Hu Yao’s acquitance, and taking into account that Xiao Qi has never done things by halves, his plan is rather obvious. Awu doesn’t know whether to feel strangely amused, immensely flattered and touched… or perhaps increasingly annoyed by losing her bedmate for such paltry a cause. For the moment she chooses option one, if only because amusement helps her forget about any apprehension the word ‘hunt’ might be causing her for rather obvious reasons. She will hold her judgement on options two and three until she sees the result of Xiao Qi’s bout of paternal madness.

The hero of the hour returns four days later, impossibly smug and with a bloody enormous salted pelt of a great brown mountain bear. Which he will then proceed to cure himself, because why wouldn’t he. Awu doesn’t have the words for what she’s feeling. Exasperation? Fond exasperation? A sudden onset of unexpected horniness? And I mean really unexpected, because bears smell and she’s still not over her olfactory oversensitivity. But mainly a burst of love and womanly pride. Sure, her man might be a fool, but he’s her fool and… I mean, it is a really big bear. Very, very impressive, if one was prone to being impressed by such things. Which Awu usually doesn’t find herself to be… Oh, who is she even trying to fool?

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Xiao Qi has made something of a study of his wife’s body, which she had always been cognizant of to a certain degree. So it’s rather hard to say that it comes as a surprise that he’s able to tell when she begins to show even before she herself does – and she shows very early due to her general slimness. All the other things, however, are somewhat more out of the left field.

Like how he starts to send Awu’s maids out every time he catches one of them with a comb even before she confesses that somehow her scalp became really, really sensitive and in a rather peculiar way. Which he has apparently noticed and decided to take shameless advantage off, especially as the pleasure is mutual; Awu’s hair has become somehow both thicker and softer, a true delight to touch for a person as tactile as Xiao Qi.

Or how he suddenly stops going after Awu’s earlobes to her sincere confusion and irritation. She liked it, dammit, and what Awu wants, Awu gets, so the next time his mouth appears anywhere in the vicinity of her neck, Xiao Qi finds himself rather brusquely pointed at the desired target. The problem is, upon his acquiescence Awu finds it not as pleasurable as all that and really rather painful, her ears apparently having become rather sensitive practically overnight. By which point she has no other choice but to demand how had he guessed before she realized this about herself. His answer turns out to be rather disarming: You haven’t worn a single pair of dangly earrings for half a month.

The worst thing is, he is absolutely right. Every single time, which at the beginning causes no little exasperation, especially when Awu’s body starts rapidly changing and sometimes she feel like she hardly knows what she even looks like anymore. Is that pale, drawn face in the mirror actually hers? Why are her eyebrows suddenly so pale and whispy? And has she always had dark patches on the underside of her breasts? As time passes, all those other changes start looking less and less dire, having taken second fiddle to the most important thing of them all: a growing, living child nestled between her hipbones, which have lost all pretense of sharpness during those last few months. And so she starts asking questions. Not to fish for compliments – she truly cannot complain of a shortage of those – but out of true curiosity. What have you noticed that I haven’t? Show me.

And he does show her, claiming and re-claiming every inch of her skin as it changes and there is not a single moment in which she does not feel beautiful, or wanted, or loved, even when she’s absolutely miserable and sick, and bloated. Although she calls him a liar the one time he truly earns it by announcing her stitches on the newest piece in the increasingly elaborate layette to be the height of perfection despite them being crooked and all over the place due to her suddenly clumsy fingers. But just as he is her guide to her own body, she is his and there is little that she finds herself unable to complain of.

It’s their journey, their child, perhaps their only chance at this miracle and she absolutely refuses to hide, especially as her time comes near. Refuses to hide both literally and metaphorically, spending hours upon hours of increasingly warm, stuffy summer evenings laying naked on top of the covers and drawing nonsensical labyrinths upon her own skin with the tips of her fingers, every line closely followed by eager eyes, calloused hands or gentle lips; every single tap or movement from within met with genuine fascination and something not quite unlike worship.

____________________________________

There has hardly been a military campaign that involved more meticulous planning than the birth of this one tiny child, Ningshuo’s first princeling. Taught by Wanru’s premature experience with childbirth, both Awu and Xiao Qi remain rather wary of any fixed dates. The child will come when it will come, rather like the enemy, announces Xiao Qi, stopping the rather spirited discussion between the womenfolk about the necessity of early preparation and earning himself a fiery glare from Awu for using such inappropriate comparisons. By which I mean there is little to be done aside from observing the terrain and getting ready for an ambush, which may or may not come at any time, he explains, trying to mollify Awu and enclose her into his self-imposed bubble of confidence, usually reserved for use upon soldiers on the verge of panic, which is exactly what this discussion of premature birth has brought into their home.

And you know what, it actually helps, if only a little. Enough to take Awu’s mind off the possible complications and redirect her nervous energy into consulting with the astronomy charts and then choosing an appropriately situated side room, setting up curtains around the bed to serve as a birthing tent and getting that blasted bearskin out of storage. Which process they will ultimately go through four times, as the star charts – and thus best orientations – keep changing every month. And which neither of them will begrudge, as every single time they move the birthing tent Awu grows just a tiny bit more confident in the success of the upcoming labour and also more attuned to her own needs. At the very last milestone – during which she is comically enormous, but no less able to give out commands – she is an absolute nightmare, having everyone running around to and fro as well as throwing an absolute fit over the birthing rope, which she has agreed to previously.

Doctor Shen, being a great believer in getting his clients through labour alive and having a long-standing grudge against the usual way of birthing practiced in the Imperial Palace – which means supine, surrounded by a crowd of panicking women and with the doctor hardly able to see the patient in order to preserve their chastity – instills a certain regime, which is perfectly in accord with the traditional ways dictated by medical practitioners of old. By which he means peace, no more that two calm attendants at one time and letting gravity do part of the work; the last thing meaning that a length of rope or cloth should be suspended from the ceiling or perhaps stretched between two pillars at at appropriate height, so that the mother can support herself while kneeling or squatting.

In Awu’s case the arrangement changes from a hanging horse bridle – which while a show of status and a portent of good fortune proved to be not that comfortable after all – to a length of silk, to a rope stretched between two pillars. Which apparently doesn’t suit Awu any longer, not providing her with a steady enough support. While A-Yue and Alima keep tying and retying the rope to Awu’s continuous disapproval and even irritation, Xiao Qi doesn’t get involved. Yes, partially because in contrast to everybody else he doesn’t find his heavily pregnant wife a nightmare to deal with. Adorable, more like, the man is that hopeless. And partially because as long as Awu acts out on her irritation, she’s not getting apprehensive or despondent. So let her rage to her heart’s content. Now, the moment she goes silent and perhaps a little bit bashful over her previous outburst, he decides it’s high time for an intervention. Any intervention, even an absurd one. Which means that he disappears for a moment and brings back his spear, which he then secures in place of the rope to the growing disconcernment of everybody present. Awu finds it steady enough for her needs and it’s not like anything else matters.

Seeing as she goes into labour the very next day and finds herself properly appreciative of this improvised solution, Xiao Qi can’t find it in himself to really mind the rapidly growing slew of jokes and ditties starting to make rounds, although he makes a point of trouncing the most intrepid joker rather soundly. Or perhaps five of those, not that he’s in the right mindset to actually keep count once the entrance to the birthing room is barred to him. Before it is, there is still time to tell Awu– not for the last time, this isn’t going to be the last time! - of her bravery, of how only now does he start to truly appreciate what it means to send a loved one into battle and of how they’re going to carry this moment through their whole lives. You’re Princess Yuzhang, you will come back with a victory, hale and whole. You will always come back, he whispers into her hair, not sure who is he actually trying to convince as he hold his entire world in his arms, desperately trying to hide his fear. And failing miserably, which Awu cannot help but notice… once she gets through the current set of contractions. Don’t you dare to be a coward now, my Prince Yuzhang, she scolds, resting her sweaty forehead against his chin. Don’t you bloody dare. I have asked for this and I don’t take upon myself what I cannot carry. And now get out and let me fight my war. You know what I’m capable of.

And by all gods, he knows. And this steely determination in her voice scares him as little has ever scared him before. This time, unlike every other time when she’s risked her life this bravely, there will be nothing he can do to help her, no miraculous rescue, no last-minute shot, no hand ready to break her fall. Has he been too greedy, he ponders, only by a miracle avoiding skewering Tang Jing straight through the gut and then actually earning a light graze from Hu Yao’s blade. Useless, she pronounces, confiscating their weapons and hurrying both men off the training field. Absolutely useless. Go and do whatever it is that men actually busy themselves with while women do all the work.

It turns out that what men actually do in highly stressful situations is sharpen their swords as well as any other blade they may encounter. They are joined in this endeavour by Xiaohe, who will later be unilaterally – and wholly unfairly – blamed for each and every single skewed edge. Of which there will be quite a few. But then, what does an imperfect sword or ten actually matter, when after long hours of absolute hell, during which Xiao Qi has imagined at least five different worst scenarios ending in a pool of blood – just like that terrible day – and prayed to all the gods he has ever heard of, A-Yue finally comes, her wide smile speaking for itself.

[orsuliya]

I think I might know what the greatest difference between pre-beard and post-beard Xiao Qi is! No, it is not the Daddy-type hotness, get your minds out of the gutter! And it is not his new-found viciousness either nor even his utter lack of fucks to give.

Xiao Qi has decided to unleash his full arsenal, the Cheng Convention of Noble Rights be damned. No more being shy or moderate about using his most dangerous weapon! What is this weapon? Glad you’ve asked. PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE.

We’ve seen the palest shades of it before. The greatest example might have been when he asked the courtiers who would take responsibility if the Hulan treaty gets broken at any point. But even then he clearly held himself back. Now, though? Now he’s going to be dealing mental hits left and right. Commander Liu is just the first of his many victims; the list will later include Song Huaien, Turnip Wang, the entire noble class of Cheng and of course the Master of Mope himself.

Oh, and he’s managed to weaponize bows to an unholy degree. Not shooty-bows bows. The bend-your-back kind.

So Commander Liu is brought before Xiao Qi bound and under guard, swords at his neck and all. It’s pretty obvious from his general demeanor that he’s already composed his last will. There is simply no way that any lord, much less a whole-ass warlord, would ever forgive being left to die before the gates. And calling him a (filthy) traitor? Oooof! Even if Commander Liu might still have his uses, no Prince would ever suffer such a slight to his honour, right?

WRONG. Xiao Qi has him freed...

...and APOLOGIZES for the mutiny. And forces the mutineers to apologize as well! This is so out of the left field that Commander Liu’s brain collapses under an avalanche of ERROR! messages...

...only to reboot with new software already in place. He’s 100% Xiao Qi’s man from now on.

[dangermousie]

When Song Huaien starts crying because his insane escape attempt failed and Evil General held him and used his hand to stamp the fake confession, me = :(

(Also, when he thinks that he failed Awu!!!!! He loves her so freaking much but also DON’T CRY OMG I CAN’T STAND ITTTTT!!!!)