#genuinely FUCK YOU if you do that. just type it properly. do not censor the damn tags. because then i cant avoid your stupid posts.

[agent-calivide]

I kinda roll my eyes whenever I see posts mocking the whole "don't spam like" "unalive" tiktokification of social media, but not in the genuine "it's a fucking travesty that people have to self censor and think about algorithms that actively tries to screw over the users" way but rather in a "haha, new social media is dumb, I'm a bitter 30 year old" way.

Like, yeah, on Tumblr getting the response of "don't spam like" is fucking annoying because it doesn't do shit other than just show that someone's looking at all of your stuff, but spam liking is not binging a page. It is specifically when someone goes onto someone's tiktok and proceeds to mass-like videos without actually watching them all the way through, it's just scrolling and liking without actually watching the content, which communicates to the algorithm "hey, this person's videos suck because people stop watching at the 3 second mark" and stops pushing your videos.

This doesn't matter for people who are doing it for fun, I don't care personally on my tiktok, spam like away, but when people are trying to make a career out of it by either being an influencer or advertising their small business or trying to show music they've written or just wanna share work they're proud of it's annoying to get screwed by someone showing misplaced love. Especially when there was a window of time were people would spam like as an attack to try and fuck someone over and "shadowban" them.

And the making fun of the censoring is even more fucking stupid. I have posted 2 videos that got dinged for having inappropriate content and got two strikes on my tiktok that I've been running for about 5 years. Anyone who has seen my tiktoks knows I am as inoffensive as you get, I don't do thirst traps, I have Content and Trigger and Flash warnings, I hand-type captions on all of my videos and if I do use the auto-generated ones I watch the video back to make sure they're all correct, I just lipsync to silly audios and basically make video versions of incorrect quotes of whatever my hyperfixation is at the moment.

One was me painting a nerf gun and a nerf crossbow to look like a real gun and real crossbow to be props, which was dinged for showing firearms. My video of me painting a neon yellow gun and bright pink crossbow to black and woodgrain was marked as dangerous content because either someone chose to report me or whatever scanners they use to pick out "dangerous" videos misread and assumed I had real firearms and wouldn't repeal it. My other video, with multiple content and trigger warnings, had an audio that went "For my next trick, I'm gonna fucking kill myself". And while the audio was allowed to stay on tiktok and other people were allowed to use it, because I had a caption and a description that read: TW: Suicidal ideation and properly typing out captions, I got penalized.

But with tiktok, your post isn't just taken down, you have a limited number of strikes and if you get too many, you're entire fucking page is eaten. Just gone, erased, and there is no way for you to get it back. And I have two strikes for: painting a toy black and lipsyncing to a popular audio.

People aren't arbitrarily using "sewer-slide" "grapist" "unalived" and "pew pew" because they wanna infantilize this serious issue, it's because they want to talk about this serious issue without being silenced and, like it or not, tiktok is where word travels fast and to the biggest audience these days. Being "shadowbanned" and having all of your messages get strangled because you used the proper terminology, if not getting kicked straight off the platform, is too high a risk for someone who uses that platform. Especially if they do also use it to advertise, to squeeze a few pennies from the creator fund, to try and make it big or even just to fucking have fun.

I don't know if shadowbanning ever was actually a thing, I just do silly costumes to songs for fun, but there were many people who'd be trying to get traction to show work or get sales or speak out about a bad situation and suddenly they'd go from getting hundreds of thousands of views on every single video to maybe a couple hundred because they had the audacity to say "this shooter is a fucking monster" rather than "this [pew-pewer] is a [bad bad person]"

And if TikTok was their first social media platform, of course they're gonna think other platforms are also ruling with an iron fist. I still feel weird being allowed to say shit like gun and murder on Tumblr because there's a voice in the back of my head that says I'm gonna get my entire blog taken away for daring to use the proper words.

I don't know, maybe I'm missing something, but I think the most well known and most encouraged to use platform of these last few years is also one that's so highly regulated that people are pre-emptively trying to figure out how to talk about important things without it totalitarian-ly beating them into a fine paste with the algorithm so people just see the silly little dance videos tiktok would rather push over the people communicating real world problems is more fucked up than Stacy saying "unalived" on Reddit out of habit.

[maxphilippa]

Beware of HybridAlex17.

CW: Guilt-tripping, Suicide Baiting, Manipulation, Stalking, Identity Theft, Death Threats. Please read this. It is very important.

Hello, I usually don't make these type of posts, but lately I've been too stressed to even be here on Tumblr due to a certain individual in The Lego Movie Fandom. And that person is @/HybridAlex17.

Weeks ago, I decided to cut ties with this person on a calm way due to the fact that I genuinely couldn't keep the friendship going on any longer. Truth is that this friendship made me feel like I was trapped.

I'm in no way invalidating his trauma and suffering, and of course, I will always try to help my friends in times of need, but Alex constantly needed me to "comfort him" and basically be there for him all of the time, making me responsible of his emotions since he's an very unstable person "who would think of the worst case scenario happening to me" if I didn't told him what I was doing at the moment. Of course, friendships are meant to work through bad and good times. But there's moments where you should realize that you have limits. I had mine.

And I couldn't possibly just stay any longer in a relationship where it felt like I had to take care of someone. That's not what I'm looking for. It never was. I felt unsafe and constantly scared about what he could do to himself if I said the wrong thing, as he was constantly feeling bad about everything. And call me what you want, but I realized that, I do not want to be there. But even then, I didn't have any hard feelings towards him. I genuinely wished him the best and to get better, but I couldn't be there to see that change. My mental health mattered. So I spoke to him very calmly about it, reassuring him that I do not hate him and I just wanted to cut our ties peacefully.

(At the moment, I censored his name to protect his identity. This was before I blocked him.)

Then, in reply, he guilt-tripped me, wishing that I never met him, that he died that one time, that this never happened, and everything. Despite me having high hopes for him to actually react properly, he didn't. So I ended up blocking him in all of his accounts and just calling it a day, because I didn't want to think of it. Sounds pretty fair by now, right?

Well, the story does not end there. Some more days later, he would then tag me on a PUBLIC POST (because he couldn't just DM me, I guess), apologizing for taking it too personally and for everything in spanish. I spoke to my friends about this at the moment because I really didn't feel like it was genuine. You would never post an apology towards someone unless you would want them to feel pressured to reply to you, right? Well then, because he did this already MORE THAN ONE TIME with me. I blocked him because I really didn't want to deal with it. It was tiring and I was hoping that he would just give up.

(This account of his does no longer exist.)

But then, here comes the impersionation thing. Three days ago, my friends sent me an blog that was weirdly similar to mine. Lucy icon and the description, eh, ya' know. Very fucking basic. And look at the URL. A mix of the words Max and Philippa but changed to spell Philippines.

And if that does not convince you, then take a look at this post.

"Android Emmet AU".

I swear to fucking God.

You guys might or might not know that I'm the creator of the Android Rex AU, I created it on June 22 of the past year, being the second AU I've ever made. So he didn't only just made a weird puppet of me to pretend that we're still friends, he's STEALING THE WHOLE THING AND TRYING TO MAKE OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS AN ACCOUNT OF MINE.

But seriously though. Come on. He's not fooling anyone. It's an pathetic imitation of who I am, of what can I do. He's acting like he knows me enough, but he never even tried to. He could never replace me. He will never get me back. And he knows it. He knows it so well.

Yesterday, it was my birthday. Of course, it was a great day for me. But various anonymus asks came in for me then. The first ones were kind ones, but then, there were some that straight up wished that I was never born and that I died! And hey! Not to assume! But that was Alex in different accounts! Because he literally stopped once I turned the anonymus off and one of my friends stood up for me!

And you can see this by scrolling through my blog just a bit!

And once he realized that he fucked up, because they thought that this friend of mine didn't have any relation with me (despite the fact that I do have posts where I drew their guys), he blocked them and "apologized". Can't even take responsability for such a messed up thing.

And he just didn't stop there. Wishing me death? Expected it. But how did he know that it was my birthday? Because I blocked him before I ever publically told it. And that's when it hit me. An alt account. And someone sent me a post in which he drew Android Rex and Joseph, two of the main characters of my AU for my birthday, saying that he wishes the best for me and stuff.

I never fucking told you when my birthday was. You could have never possibly known unless you were stalking me over an account. You use alternative accounts to boost your own art and don't even try to deny it. People will realize once they take a look. So many empty accounts. Instead of moving on and just fucking accepting that I cut ties with you because you made me feel scared of even entering this app, and learning from your mistakes, you're being a fucking creepy man. And don't deny it. You've done this to a bunch of people here. My close friends were affected by your shit.

And I know that you're going to see this.

And just so you know, since you crave my attention so fucking much to the point where you created a fake account that was "me" so you could still think that nothing happened, let me tell you something.

I was never angry at you. I stated that I wanted to cut ties because I couldn't be in such a toxic relationship. I respected you as a person. But then you tried to make me feel bad about my choice. About everything I do. Because that's what you're good for. Is this how you treat your friends? Because Good Lord. Seeing your true colors makes me think that we were never really friends since the start.

And even then? I'm not angry at you.

I'm disappointed.

And I already hit my favor quota on saying this in the most harmless of ways possible, but I'm feeling generous. So. Like. Have some dignity, would you? Don't be an asshole. Move on. I already did.

I hoped that you would move on. But you never learn anything, do you? You said how much you cared about me back then. I guess death treats, constantly stalking someone, and impersonating them is your way to care.

I will never be your friend.

And to those who read this post, please, do not harass HybridAlex17. As much damage he has done, he's not worth it. What I would be thankful of is that you guys report the fake account he made of me, since I can't do it myself. And let others know about him and his doings.

If you're a friend of HybridAlex17, then I'm deeply sorry. I do not have any hard feelings towards you, but I would rather not interact with anyone who is.

And with this, I'm done. Take care, all of you.

[outpost-31]

HOW DID I GET ON PRO-*NA TUMBLR WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I HAVE ALL THE TAGS BLOCKED BC ITS A MASSIVE TRIGGER AND NOW ALL THE POSTS... TUMBLR I KNOW YOUR ALGORITHM FOR CHOOSING POSTS TO RECOMMEND SUCKS A BAG OF DICKS BUT MAYBE TAKE A HINT HOLY SHIT?? I DONT WANT TO SEE IT??

[lassieposting]

otp questions for skugwife plz 🥺

1. Who said I love you first?

He did, about three seconds after laying eyes on her for the first time. He was Not Subtle. In his defence, he was in a field hospital at the time, covered in his own blood, and was high off his ass on pain relief, so.

2. Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?

Wifey. She's kind of handicapped here because Skug does his best to shield her from the worst parts of himself and the grim truth about war. He doesn't outright lie to her, but he'll censor what he tells her, leaving out the death and the blood and the gore, because he's grown up terrified of becoming his father and he's desperate to be the man she thinks he is, to be someone who's worthy of her love. He doesn't want her to ever look at him and see a killer. If she has to think of him at war, he wants her to think of her gallant hero who always saves the day. So a lot of the time, when he gets into a black mood, she doesn't actually know what's really distressing him. She knows he has nightmares, but he always claims he doesn't remember what they're about. She knows that sometimes he'll nick himself with a knife while he's helping her with dinner, and when she turns around he's just standing there watching his hand bleed like he's suddenly somewhere very far away, but she doesn't know why he gets like that. She knows he has days where she'll say his name four or five times before he even seems to hear her, and an unexpected gunshot from one of the neighbouring smallholdings will have him trembling and running to check on her. But she tries, when he's quiet and distant and sad. She'll hold him and stroke his hair or sing to him or take him out walking in the sunshine, and eventually he'll take her hand and kiss her knuckles and apologise for being an arse, and she never really knows how to tell him that she doesn't mind him having those days at all, she just wishes she knew how to make him stop hurting.

3. Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?

Skug. They're a cuddly, affectionate couple anyway, but his favourite thing in the world is laying his head in her lap and having his hair stroked. The man melts. They'll cuddle up in the evenings and he'll keel over for her as soon as she pats her leg like come on then and they'll just. Catch each other up on what they've missed since the last time he was home, while she pets him. She'll tell him the latest drama in her friend circle and how her father's been dodging the advances of an elderly patient, and he'll give her a censored, family-friendly version of what he got up to at the front - so, all the funny stories, but with all the gore and death and hard choices edited out. If he says something sufficiently ridiculous, she'll swat him in the face with a cushion. Sometimes he'll fall asleep there and she'll keep playing with his curls until she thinks he's well and truly out of it, and then pick up her needlework to do over his head while he sleeps.

4. What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?

When they're courting, she makes him a scarf and sends it with the courier with one of her letters, because she didn't like to think of him being cold on night watches. It's red and has zero magical properties whatsoever, it's no Bespoke creation, but he wears it on every mission.

She has a locket with his portrait in it. He's ADHD as fuck and hates sitting still for hours, but she playfully tells him one time that he's "been away so long I almost forgot what you looked like," and he takes it seriously and makes sure that never happens again.

5. How would one another describe their partner?

Very similarly. They both think the other one is their better half and that they don't deserve them. She loves him because he's brave and clever and funny and not afraid to stand up for what he believes in. He loves her because she's good and kind and loving and makes him want to be a better man. They're that couple that are so caught up in each other's virtues that they completely miss each other's flaws.

6. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?

Skug, every time they go somewhere they'll be surrounded by His Kind Of People.

Wifey is a salt of the earth working/lower-middle-class sort of girl. She has a job. She's grown up doing all the cooking and cleaning for her father, and she continues to do a lot of it even after she gets married and Skug hires servants because she can't stand to be idle. She has a very limited education; she didn't spend her childhood being fussed over by governesses or taught to simper and dance and paint. So she feels very out of place at fancy Sanctuary parties, surrounded by Skug's superior officers and their sophisticated upper-class wives. She's worried about embarrassing him, she's worried about making him look bad, she's worried about being laughed at or insulted behind her back for being too common or too forthright or too lacking in pretty manners.

He'll pull her to one side before they're announced and remind her that she outshines every other woman in the room, that most of these people are boorish and ignorant anyway so who cares what they think, and that she's got nothing to worry about: she's far more charming than he is and the laws of probability suggest that if anyone is gonna put their foot in it and embarrass the other one, it'll be him.

7. Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?

Wifey, especially when they're newlyweds. She has absolutely no idea how she managed to land him. He's hers now, forever. She has to keep saying it to convince herself it's true. Skug is a bit baffled, but having someone so happy to lay claim to him gives him major heart eyes. He's not used to having someone be proud of him and want to show him off like he's something worth bragging about.

8. Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?

God, both of them.

In Prussia, a few months after they get married, Morwenna Crow takes one for the team and spends three solid weeks indulging Skug while he talks about his wife just, constantly.

On Wifey's side, she has a gaggle of girlfriends who appear at the door of her lovely new home to take tea at the first opportunity after her honeymoon wanting all the salacious details. And? She has so much to tell them. Like a lot of young women at the time, the most she was given in the way of sex education was a vague lecture from an older married friend about Marital Duties that didn't really serve a purpose beyond making her really, really nervous about her wedding night.

(She tells Skug about this lecture while she's sprawled all over him somewhere between round two and round three on said wedding night. She's confused. She was told it would be distasteful and unpleasant and painful. Why would her friends lie to her? He laughs, and strokes her hair, and tells her her friends' husbands are clearly doing something wrong.)

So. She returns from her honeymoon with a lot of new information to share with her poor, deprived friends. She's not the only married woman in the group, but she's the only one who married for love, so the unmarried girls are looking at what they want for themselves, and the ones who married for wealth or status are lowkey living vicariously through her.

These gatherings are deeply unnerving for poor Skug. He'll pop into the parlour to kiss Wifey goodbye before he goes out riding with Ghastly, and like eight smirking women politely sipping tea will chorus good morning, Skulduggery like they know something he doesn't know, and something about the way they look at him makes him feel like they're starving and he's a juicy steak. And then he'll close the door behind him when he leaves the room and hear them all immediately explode into giggles. What the fuck do they talk about in there??? At least once he's asked Wifey if she's plotting to sacrifice him, or something.

9. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

Skug. When you've spent the last 6+ months snatching at sleep on a hard bed with itchy blankets in between night watches and enemy attacks and commando raids of your own, it becomes a real treat to get a full nights sleep and wake up in fresh sheets in your own bed with your wife pressed up against your back, kissing your neck and touching you under the blanket. He knows he's safe when he wakes up with her, and he misses feeling her burrow into his arms when they're apart.

10. Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?

Skug.

11. Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?

Wifey's favourite is to tell Skug she invited her father to stay for a week and watch him frantically try to arrange his face into any other expression than "horrified". This is doubly funny if he just came home and he's raring to get her into bed - "Oh, darling, we can't, Papa will be here shortly, and he's due to stay until Thursday next, you'll simply have to wait," - but she never lets him believe it for long. She's not, like, cruel.

12. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?

Spending money is Skug's love language. He's always buying her "just a little something"s. Hair ribbons, jewellery, new dresses, books, paints...anything he sees and thinks she'd enjoy.

She bakes for him, when he's home. She doesn't think the army feeds him properly, and she knows he eats like a horse. Coming back from Ghastly's to the smell of homemade bread is one of his favourite things about being married.

13. Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?

Wifey. She'll be doubled over wheezing, red in the face, and Skug will still have no idea what the joke is. She didn't get that far. She's the kind of person where, many hours later, he'll ask, "So what was that joke you wanted to tell me?" and it'll just. Set her off again.

14. Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?

Skug. He's often away for Wifey's birthday, but he'll always try to wheedle some leave out of Corrival so he can come home and spend it with her. It doesn't always work - a lot of the time they simply can't spare him - but he does his best.

15. Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?

Skug is a 6'4 beanpole of a man who likes small, petite women. Wifey is like 5'3 tops and he picks her up all the time. She weighs, like, nothing to him and she's really into how strong he is, so getting swept off her feet all the time doesn't bother her.

What does bother her is when his lanky ass forgets to bring things down from the top shelf before going away for a few months. She can't reach up there.

[childactress-a]

@stilzchen​:         7 8 17 34

7. what’s your opinion on call out posts?

my opinion is that if you recirculate a 3.5-year-old callout post then you should make sure the links actually work 💙

8. name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

only three oh my god so - 1.   the kiss-asses! not on this blog but when i had a much big follower count i could tell when i’d get empty compliments just for the sake of getting on my good side. it was the minority of followers ofc not everybody on this website is a vulture but it’s the same principle as not wanting to be just a number in someone’s follower count. i want interactions w my mutuals! i’m genuinely here to write! i really, really love receiving feedback on my blog and my writing - but if you don’t have anything real to say please don’t say anything at all. i think this makes me sound like a bitch but yk! i don’t think authenticity, or as close as the rpc can get to it, is too much to ask for 2.   people who follow and then unfollow within a day before i’ve had a chance to properly sit down and look at their blogs. i don’t come down too hard on this bc it’s impossible to know who got tired of waiting and who just got tired of following me and would’ve unfollowed me even if i had followed back - but it happens sometimes and it’s meh. i know i’m here a lot sometimes but i really don’t have all the time in the world! pls new followers be patient 3.   christ this was hard to narrow down - i cannot fucking stand when people mark trigger words like “rape” or “pedophilia” with an asterisk to censor it IN THEIR GOOGLE DOCS. like WHY. even on the dash it’s useless bc blacklist won’t pick up that stuff, lol, how am i supposed to blacklist sexual assault when y’all tag it “s*xual *ssault” or with variations of asterisks every time like? just something to consider but especially on google docs like yeah it’s useless just type the word

17. have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? why?

sure, i think i did from time to time when i was younger and way more attention-seeking. shit is lame now though; every now and then i suspect someone’s doing it and it’s like... in 2021 really? hope you’re having fun x

34. have you ever cried while writing a reply?

i can’t remember a time that i have but i wouldn’t be surprised at all - and i can tell you with 100% certainty that if it ever happened it was during a reply for you, either with a mara-fisch thread or with e*********r (not bringing them into 2021 with me mark my worms i DON’T need their energy)

“be honest” meme   ›   accepting.

[takaraphoenix]

In light of tumblr actually committing suicide, I’m feeling nostalgic and would like to tell you all about my first real online community experience. Because everybody always has their MySpace or LiveJournal stories... and I was never on either of those.

I want to tell you about a site that is called Animexx. And... it changed a lot since I was really active on it and it was by far never perfect, but at its skeletal structure, it’s something I am still seeking out and I genuinely don’t understand why such a type of site doesn’t exist in a broader, English context. Let me rephrase that to make it clearer: It’s a German site... well... there seems to be a .com version that’s actually English, but somehow everything still shows up in German so I don’t know about that. And, as the name might suggest, it is primarily focused on anime/manga/Jpop.

So, this is less of a recommendation and more of a... pitch of my dream online-experience, based on how that site worked, with some side-notes on upgrades. But, at its core, it’s essentially a mixture of DeviantArt, Fanfiction.Net, tumblr and then some more.

(I’ll be talking in past-tense because I haven’t really been on the site in 10 years so I genuinely don’t know what changed and what is still the same.)

Fanworks

Obviously. Only that the site had different partitions for different types of fanworks. Not like tumblr where everything is just one endless pit that you get lost in.

You had fanarts, that were sorted by TV show/movie/book/band/whatever so you could actually go and properly look for them. It’s one of the things I hate about DeviantArt; that you don’t have specific categories to post fanarts under in the same way you’d do it with fics on FFNet/AO3 so you can browse specifically for them. In my ideal world, we would also add a tagging-function like on AO3 for it, including things such as pairing tags and character tags so you could actually find shit easier.

You had fanfiction. WITH a tagging function - just like on AO3. AND you had ONE feature that I AM STILL DEARLY MISSING. Seriously, both FFNet and AO3 make me bemoan the loss of the Character Descriptions.

See, you’d click on the fic and firstly be presented with the fic’s main page. A list of all chapters, the tags, the summary and the stats. And above it are tags.

You can (still, as proven by fresh and new screenshot) upload character profiles, including a picture of the character and a chart with whatever information you want to give - name/age/whatever. Which, particularly in AUs is immensely practical. “Wait what magical creature was that again?”.

And not just that. The tab right next to “Characters”? “Illustrations”. Since the site itself hosts fanarts too, you could directly mark the art you upload as an illutration to a specific fic and they’d then be linked to connect with each other.

Now, granted, their fanfiction system is not perfect - there are a lot of rules/censoring. But this very system? The system of including additional character information and allowing a direct link between a fic and its illustrations? That is perfect. And I miss it very dearly.

And fanfiction and fanarts aren’t where fanworks end. It also had its own doujinshi - comic - site. Because that is also a thing I hate on DeviantArt. If you’re lucky, someone posting a comic will also include a link to the last page in the description. No. On here, comics worked just like fanfiction in that you have it all together. They too are separated into chapters, if the author so pleases, and you can just subscribe to a comic like you’d do to a fanfiction. Seriously, how has this function not reached DeviantArt yet...? This site has had it for literal eighteen years now...

Photos also had their separate sub-site, like cosplay photos and such.

Now, nowadays and with my experience here on tumblr, on an ideal website we would also add a separate GIF-site to it.

Community

For one, your profile is way more elaborate than on... any other site I’ve seen. Aside from many options on what to put on it - like multiple profile pics, multiple tabs on your biography (mostly used to linking to other things... that is actually why my FFNet profile looks the way it does, because that’s how I used to keep it in the olden days, only that I would actually be able to separate the timeline and the updating schedule onto different tags for easier access...).

You also had a guestbook, much like how you can publically comment on people’s profiles on DeviantArt.

It also had a direct link to your personal blog. Which, you don’t have to use obviously, but yeah. There’s also a blogging function.

Of course it also has a private messaging function. Only that it’s actually a good and proper one. I love that FFNet has one, but it sucks because it’s just all clogging up your inbox. No, this site has one that works essentially like your average e-mail account; you can create folders and sort your fucking mail like a civilized person.

Additonally to the private messaging function, there is also a chat on here.

There is also an RPG community. Not like on tumblr where just... everything is everywhere and whatever. It’s neatly separated, just like the fics and fanarts and comics and photos. Everything has its place. Seriously, why are American sites so fucking unorganized, it drives me crazy.

Now, the best part about the community were the Circles. That’s what they were called. They’re forums, really. Clubs, kinda.

You could start one about... whatever. Like, dedicated to a particular ship. And you, as the admin, could then proceed however you want. Public? Or only after applying, meaning that the admin had to let you in. Especially after meeting the phenomenon of antis, I miss this dearly, because... just imagining having a Circle for fans of your “problematic fave” and moderating who gets in - meaning only letting in actual fans of the character - so they can safely post about them there.

Each Circle included multiple forums, however many you want. Say, one generally talking about the ship, one about that chara, one about the other, another about gift exchanges, fic recommendations, or literally whatever you want.

And a Circle could directly link to its members’ fanfiction and fanarts - or well those relevant for the Circle at hand.

Those were really where the sense of community came from. You had your... yeah, your safe space to talk about whatever you loved with other people who also love it. No risk of publically posting about your fave and some dumbass hijacking the post or bullying you about it. You just had your forums inside the Circle and got to talk about what you love.

There is much more that the site had to offer - a direct shop where fanartists could sell merch and printed versions of their comics, an event page where you could easily find fan-events near you (or far away from you, depending on what you’re looking for), heck it even doubled as a dating site - but that just to sum up what I really miss about this site and how it worked.

And I just... I genuinely don’t understand why such a thing, in this day and age of fandom being so huge, doesn’t exist on a broader scale, in a mainly English-speaking context. A site that seamlessly unites the different aspects of fandom - fanarts, fanfiction, fan-comics, community and blogging.

Both DeviantArt and tumblr are a garbage mess, let’s be very clear on that, because they allow absolutely no way of properly and easily accessing only fanworks to one specific fandom. It’s not like sorting into fandoms is a new thing; fanfiction does it even on fucking Fanfiction.Net so why does it seem so wild for non-fanfiction sites to also include such a function...? Not to mention, when talking about those two examples, a proper and neat separation of the different types of fanworks. Yes, a rudimentary system exists, but... not a clear-cut and simple one, for some reason.

For me, who I come from a site that united all sides of fandom so easily and for free, it has always been absolutely beyond me that you need different accounts on different sites for your different fandom-experience - tumblr for blogging, DeviantArt for a half-way good system on fanarts, AO3/FFNet for fanfiction (and yes, I know many just post everything on tumblr, but with how it is indistinguishable when it comes to looking for specific things, this is clearly not what tumblr was really meant to do...).

I just want... one site to unite them all but also do it systematically and not in one hot-mess pile of EVERYTHING where you have to entirely rely on luck and tags, instead of sub-categories of a) types of fanwork and b) fandoms. Seriously, it can’t be that hard and it has literally been around for eighteen years now in Germany. Is it just because we Germans like to be organized, or what...?

And, to end this post: If you actually know such a site, drop me a link. If you feel inspired and make such a site, also drop me a link.

[hanzi83]

Thoughts on Meltzer Situation Tying in with Other Things

I don’t know if what I am going to write will become a blog or will it just be something that is in my journal but I wanted to cover the way stories are covered and how outrage culture has seemed so aggressive and how it has been misconstrued as fascists, when the stuff prior was what was fascist and authoritarian, but we never realized it because the attitudes and normalcy that existed in prior generations, and because different factions have had truth, mixed with propaganda, we have decided to take one take or another. All I can assume is the world works in layers and what is being presented on the surface is symbolism, and whether the narratives are propaganda for the sake of evil, and the sake of good.

I constantly try to analyze it in my head, and maybe because of me never thinking that deeply in my life prior and now that I feel like I am lied to by the media, the alternate media, the public figures told to spew an opinion, and even people in my own life. My fragile mind cannot handle how much I don’t know, and the people online are putting out false information, and then the mainstream want to eliminate it due to danger, then the worry if that is their way of eliminating the truth, then I wonder if that is done on purpose because we are supposed to call it out.

I keep saying my mentally ill brain is not worthy of living in this time because of how much I dumbed myself down since childhood and now that I know how to kind of use my brain, I am living in a time where everything is coming at you at once, and because I have had the tendency of following someone’s way of thinking, because since I was born I always followed someone else’s way of thinking or mimic what kind of attitudes to have. I have been through so many personalities, it is not even funny. I have gone through more gimmicks than Ed Leslie, and I have been through so many heel and baby face turns than Big Show and Kane combined. I can’t remember how I thought in certain periods, what kind of shit I have said because I was irrationally angry and going through my manic phase, or whether I was joking around and due to what I see from people I have been influenced from in the entertainment field, I have thought you had to adopt those thoughts, All of this goes through my mind.

I’m setting it up this way because I don’t know how to analyze a seemingly cogent story that is going on in social media where journalist in professional wrestling, Dave Meltzer was commenting on how different female wrestler Peyton Royce has looked different and was taken out of context, but then there are those that say even with context a journalist shouldn’t be judging a woman’s body etc, even though it was not done disrespectfully. As much as people want to get with treating women and especially people properly, I feel like it is overdone and it is done in an organized way where it comes across like the ones shitting on Meltzer come off worse, even though seemingly they are just sticking up for their friend who is offended. I can look it as simple as that, but because I believe there are layers to this, even if there is conspiracy about why they decided to call him out and in organized fashion the entire WWE roster piled on about it, or is that also supposed to be what is supposed to feel like the conspiracy, that it is supposed to look like WWE are the bad guys.

I personally of the belief that certain people in position of power had to serve evil at one point and present ignorance and regression in the culture and attitude while making it seem like it was freedom of speech and this is what edginess is, and then there was a culture shift that happened where that was going to counter the evil by having a voice for good things, even if it comes in a limited fashion and it seems like they just want to pussify everything like the conservative type are pointing out while they complain about being victims.  So is calling out Meltzer supposed to symbolize that, that old way of thinking and judging women is going to be frowned upon, and do we need some kind of outrage just to keep the balance if people make those comments. So now the people who are now on the good side, have to pay for their old sins so they will want social progression, but they will present it in such a pretentious way that it makes it seem like it is phony, then we find out they didn’t really believe in what they are preaching.

So in this example, WWE promoting a women evolution, which is intended to become a genuine change, but instead of making it a genuine change you will show this “out of nowhere” attitude about respecting women so then it gets called out and then there is a genuine change from being called out. I don’t fucking know. This is why I am in my parents’ basement, so right now since you dismiss me and not acknowledge me, then don’t take my opinions seriously since you don’t count me in. I have acted horribly and said irrational things and I talk so much shit in the hopes the punishment is that I have to die or something. I use wrestling in this example, but it can really be applied to everything that is going on.

The problem with being dumbed down for most of my life is that I want to believe different factions have good sides to them, like it is a good thing we are calling out Trump and Putin because something might be revealed about them, but they are doing a horrible job while the independent media points it out that there are inconsistencies, double standards, and history of lies from the past. The media has lied so much, so when the big bad wolf Trump threatens them, obviously it should be called out, but there is validity to the fact that media has lied multiple times. Now they have Trump spewing that, and since you are supposed to hate him and everything he says, now we are defending the CIA, FBI, and the media, who have had a hand in more chaos in this world. What I think is there is something up with Russia and Putin, and while I agree to call out the entire system like independent media does, but sometimes I feel like some of them might be compromised a little, and in order to get any of your message out then you have to kind of sell out a little. It fucks with my mind, because I look at the history of America pointing out other evil foreign leaders, but never include that they have done business with them and have organized chaos in their countries, it makes me wonder if that person is actually evil or is it because American has lied about this. I wonder if it is supposed to be called out with guys like Kim and Putin, but due to America crying wolf all the time, now people don’t believe the media. If there is something going on with Trump and Putin, is this the way they expose it, even though the meddling with the election was scripted to happen.

Is it supposed to represent there is a good side and they have infiltrated these organizations to take down Trump and the right wing mentality that has dominated for a long fucking time, or are the democrats supposed to be called out for being centrist and corporatist so we can ring in a new progressive moment. Are we all playing roles in this, and are people who did bad things were initiations to get into the system and depending on how they are supposed to be seen, you will find out about shady things they have done. I know people would prefer me go for Occam’s razor with this thing and accept the easiest explanation is the right one, but I think there are layers to all of this. It is 5 dimensional chess while most people can barely master the game of checkers. So with Alex Jones getting banned, does that represent good, even though there is concern that government and tech companies having control of what people can see because they might come for people’s freedom on the left, which they already have done? Even though they have censored really progressive though, as progressive as some thought is with the independent left, I believe there are even more to that, and then the right complains about their freedom of speech but never fight for any of the leftists who lose their voice.

Can I be happy that someone like Jones is being taken down, because he has made a career of fucking with the conspiracy movement, because even though I used to kind of follow the beginning stages of the alt right conspiracies, because there were valid conspiracies lumped in with them, I believe that he was always meant to be a disinformation agent and anyone who doesn’t believe the official narratives they get put in there. Do I think people could fake their death? Sure, I believe people in the system can actually die, but because of advanced technology who is to say they aren’t clones of that person, or DNA taken from them to be used in some kind of android. If project immortality is actually a fact, where they will use your DNA for another planet if something happens on earth, why can’t I assume they have already got that kick started. At minimum there was something organized with shootings, and maybe it is done on purpose because they put the conspiracy out there that they will come for people’s guns, so then people would go out and buy more, but I don’t believe people can just randomly have guns and do these shootings if it wasn’t given the go ahead. Authorities would be watching people, especially since 9/11. I am allowed believing that. I wouldn’t encourage people to harass the families of the victims, and I can see them getting rid of Jones for doing that, but I personally feel it represents him going and his time being done, or it is an attempt to make him a martyr to his base. They hate Jones but hate him for the wrong reasons at times.

I do think the good that exists is bringing out more information and the excuse of that is because “we are in such a period where information is coming out faster” but it feels like it is just a data dump of stuff they had hidden from us for so long. Again I don’t know any of this and I don’t know if this is true or possible, and maybe that is my fucked up way because I can’t understand what is being presented. My brain cannot handle it. So maybe I have become this person who has concocted a bunch of theories because I believe movies and television shows implement hidden truths about how the world is or what it will be. I don’t fucking know. Maybe it will be revealed there will be technological advancements made?

So back to this WWE thing, because fuck smooth transitions, I wonder if there is conspiracy that this Trump supporting company, that somehow has not been analyzed compared to the other cabinet members of Trump,  is acting like they are socially progressive and then having access journalists and podcasts tied to them to fuck with the independent movement going on. I personally believe, and I don’t have proof of this, but I can put a theory together that I think WWE is pissed at Meltzer for pointing out that WWE will push women who get breast implants, have blonde hair and spray tan. Maybe that is supposed to shatter the perception that WWE has not changed their way of thinking and are just doing an evolution just to look good, and then the other rumor was they were pissed about NJPW/ROH selling out MSG so now they have these coordinated attacks on him. Maybe it also represents that Meltzer time in the spotlight is done and there needed to be a symbolic way for it to happen. The fact that this is happening in an era where people are going to call each other out for their hypocritical behavior, maybe it is an excuse for now the floodgates to open.

Maybe me kind of losing it on twitter how disgusting the organized effort seemed like it was a storyline or a scripted attack, when the employees of the company cannot even speak out how they feel about Hogan being allowed to come back, or how they are associated with a president that has bragged about sexual assault, and the fact that there have been accusations toward people in the company about how they treat women. It feels like that entire era of entertainment promoted such misogynist way of thinking, that it seeps in time to time with how we talk about them. I fall into that trap, even though I am just irrational and pushing people away or if I am just joking around because I have learned from the Stern Show, and other forms of entertainment that just saying stupid shit might be harmless, and it ties into Alex Jones because if you can state that his banned for inciting violence like someone has the influence to do that, then you can’t act like other art forms in the past were meant to promote negative ways of thinking, whether it was self destruction, racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and propping up drama and fighting because that is what is interesting. My point the last few years of using these tropes have been to show it isn’t edgy and it doesn’t mean shit and it isn’t the be all end all of freedom, and sometimes it was used because I thought arguing with people you had to go the lowest route since I have seen people at school, or on radio etc do that and if you were too nice and wanted to be peaceful you would be seen as a pussy so I bought into this, and because I didn’t like thinking for myself I would fall for the counter culture arguments. My fucked up brain goes back into time to time. No one ever wants to analyze that mental illness, because we give a limited narrative of mental illness.

So is this a storyline to symbolize a positive way of thinking, even if it comes in pretentious ways, or is it meant to be pretentious so that it will be revealed the people preaching overly PC thinking are actually lying because then it will excuse more right wing way of thinking that everyone is a hypocrite and they all say misogynist, racist, homophobic etc things. These people who are joining on this witch hunt of Meltzer, who present themselves as male feminists, to me are probably just as worse behind the scene. I want to see their group chats, I want to see what they have posted in their burner accounts, or is that information going to be withheld because of the deal they made with the system? I feel like the fan bases and podcasts now have some way in the direction of the culture, and they are bribed by some of the talents they are fans of now. I seriously believe that, and that is why they white knight for them so hard, just like I think when people overly shit on someone of talent, there is a personal vendetta. We pretend everyone is being judged fairly but there is definitely bias and it is all political.

If what I am thinking is true, and some of the same people who will not call out McMahon’s history of evilness, and initiations he has probably put others through in his frat house then why should I respect you for going after an easy target and someone who has probably been controlled by the WWE. If wrestlers are pissed with the way fans think now or how journalists cover wrestling, you can blame Vince. I personally believe he is the one who controls the narrative, but because we hear that he is senile and out of his mind, that he can’t think like he used to, and I don’t buy it. You can put all your stories about him not knowing what a burrito is, and him wanting to put a fucking blue dot over Christian’s face because he didn’t like his face, I don’t buy any of it. I believe they are a more petty company than they lead on, and maybe that is by design because we are supposed to call it out, but the way they excuse the shit that has gone on and still goes on, because they think it is more progressive now is utterly pathetic.

So because I get anxious and hate how people are piled on for even apologizing and people telling him about his tone is just fucking stupid, because you would never have the balls to do that with WWE, and you can keep claiming you can do both, but the point is you don’t, and if you do, it is such a limited narrative in the shadiness that went on. I never hear people look into this Ashley Massario covered up rape she was alleging happened or how Vince himself has been accused of it. It is a shame too, because WWE happened to get brown and black people who kind of shill for them, while they might cover the on the surface safe and easy racial issues, but still are supposed to be their token for the company. That is what it comes across, and it makes me lose my mind that the hypocritical behavior continues and because people have a vendetta against Meltzer they will use it to fuck with him as well. If you personally have a vendetta against him that is fine, I have not agreed with his opinion and assessment of certain talent and I do believe his fans are always ready to defend anything he ever does, so I don’t have a dog in the race, but it felt like such a gross company organized thing to do this. And then there are those who are deflecting it and shitting on other journalists because they think that.

The same ones who are accusing Starrcast of being racist for not having black representation at the podcast convention, and I agree there should be or was that another plotted thing by the WWE to help create some tension for the event itself and having people have a problem with it while not holding WWE accountable about how minorities and women are treated but can’t be discussed because we need this false narrative of a woman evolution and all these people care about is pretentious symbolism, while they are still required to get naked and parade their body around, while it might not be in the product, it has gone beyond the product and in their real life. You just think that is them living their life, but anything you see on social media is scripted to happen. We don’t know that for sure, and you surely shouldn’t take my word for it because I have no proof and these are all just fucked up theories. This whole thing could just be a storyline in the grand scheme of things but I don’t even know what is going on half the time. Like I said I am just some bi polar Pakistani who has entirely too much time on his hand while at the same time I am feel I have too much coming toward my fucking brain.

I felt like me speaking out really triggered me because I feel the company or maybe more Stern trolls were all organizing to put me down for speaking out with childish insults. I wonder if these same people are responsible human beings with fake accounts. So they will get mad at Meltzer but potentially these same male feminists are fucking with people on burner accounts and then having the luxury of being these nice people who just mind their own business. Obviously I can’t report it but if any of you in the industry have a problem with me, you can show up with your account. Show your fan base what kind of asshole you are, and it is funny you might use the excuse of not wanting to get fired but I can take a gander that your fucked up employer is such a fucking immature asshole, he would probably tell you to fuck with people. Maybe the employed fan base do it so they can take their kids to these events or go behind the scenes and get endless perks. I could have done that too, but I actually tried to have some principals, and I admit irrationally I get pissed that I didn’t give in because maybe my life could be easier have I had complied. Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t because I would be jumping and piling on for these pretentious attacks while taking blood money and then telling the world you are progressive.