#genuinely do not know how kim dokja does it

[sharksliveontrains]

could not imagine being mentally ill enough to read 3 THOUSAND chapters of the same book especially when you are waiting for a new chapter every week

[tls12lessthan3]

can i tell you guys about my interpretation of a no-scenarios relationship between kim dokja and yoo sangah. im gonna do it anyway. the thing about a no-scenarios relationship of any kind between kim dokja and yoo sangah, for me, is i really think it would be so difficult for a genuine connection to form between them because kim dokja ultimately dehumanizes and fictionalises her the same way he does yoo joonghyuk. like his specific brand of dissosiation works as him viewing the world through the lens of fiction and he applies that so heavily to yoo sangah when we first meet her. she and him already have some vague form of relationship by this point - i would not call them friends but he moved those cameras for her! he kept her secret! and she knew and trusted him to an extent. that is on top of their teamwork in the job interview.

but we know none of this when we first meet yoo sangah because dokja views her as a heroine who would never cross genres with him, and he erases their history together in the process. he does the same thing with her putting pepper in her boss's coffee - thats not something a perfect pretty heroine would do so we have no idea she did it until she tells us, because kim dokja sort of - filters it out. he smoothes down the edges of her reality as a person and all the 'out of character' things she does into an easily digestible character he can push away as 'from a different genre'. and this is a massive fucking disservice to yoo sangah!! for the same reasons what kim dokja does to yoo joonghyuk is a massive fucking disservice to him!!

shes not a heroine! shes not perfect! shes not from a different genre! shes just a person and she wants to be your friend! i think if they were friends outside of the scenario kim dokja would a) try and push her away and more interestingly to me b) he would continue to try and slot her into his worldview as a 'heroine protagonist' and i think that would really grate on her. especially considering how the role kim dokja creates for her has some parallels to the one her parents made for her. kim dokjas lesson over orv of coming to understand the 'characters' as people is analogous for the one he would need in real life - just like his relationship with yoo joonghyuk couldnt reach its peak until he stopped viewing him as a character, he would need a similar journey of realization to start really understanding yoo sangah. its only then i could see them getting really close.

[metanarrates]

i have a lot of mixed feelings regarding trans headcanons in orv, or in general in fandom spaces because of how often its taking transmisogynistic jokes and bending them to actually have a cool and awesome meaning instead of just reading fiction with transgender characters. how do you feel about this as an everyone in orv is transfem poster (not accusatory tone i am genuinely wondering your take on this)

I think it's complicated because i Do agree that most trans headcanons in fandom are rooted in transphobic ideas, especially when it comes to transfem characters. I actually personally wouldn't trust most people who headcanon characters as trans unless they're able to point out when something in the text is transmisogynistic. and orv does have transmisogynistic stuff in it. the whole joke with nirvana and the entire scene with the pink kids is based around transfems being predators and men in disguise. I really don't want to hang around other orv fans unless they're able to point that out. (also, i would Definitely not trust anyone who refers to those characters as trans icons or whatever.)

I'll also fully admit that I don't remember the revolutionary arc all that well. at the time when I first read it, I just simply assumed that jang hayoung was meant to be a trans woman, and any issues kim dokja had with recognizing her gender was interesting because of how it tied into the metafictional elements about how characters can change beyond a reader's perception. from my recollection, and from the readings of other people in my life who have read the novel, it seemed canon that she was intentionally transfem. similarly, I felt like the plot point of "yoo joonghyuk has a female alter ego" was taken pretty seriously, rather than being a meanspirited joke. if I'm not remembering that right, though, please let me know.

orv in general has a problem in depictions of lgbt people. there's the abovementioned transmisogyny with nirvana and the pink kids, and there's also the undeniable fact that "kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk are gay but haha Not Actually" is leaned on a little bit too much as a joke. I have a similarly complicated relationship to the idea of shipping them for that reason - I think their relationship is meaningful and rich, but I really dislike that the fandom seems to just take that joke as an uncritical BL trope, rather than discussing how it's sometimes a bit homophobic. again, I don't trust joongdok shippers who aren't able to discuss this.

at the same time, though, I do think that if you're aware of the problems in the text, it's possible to construct a lot of rich meaning out of applying queer lenses to the text. there's a lot to dig into regarding how the story depicts gender, for example, and how it depicts transcendence and self-actualization. you can't credit the authors here - like I said, their writing has several issues with lgbt people. but as long as you aren't advertising the story as Queer Fiction, I find that it's extremely valuable to discuss how a trans reading might cast an interesting light onto a character. and on a more personal level, I think having these sorts of open discussions about both the problems and merits of trans readings, as well as the issues present in a text, do tend to make a lot of trans people feel more welcome in fan spaces. both are necessary for making a story and space that may be hostile towards them feel more welcoming.

yes, I do agree that it would probably be better to read fiction with better trans characters. those stories are out there! this is also why I am wary to praise singshong for jang hayoung's character - I don't think orv exactly Deserves a reputation as a trans inclusive story, especially when there's a lot more of those that are much better at it out there.

but at the end of the day, there are going to be trans people who do like orv, all the same. I'm one of them, though I will say upfront that I am tme and therefore much less affected by the story's problems. my fiancee is transfem and she likes it. a lot of my mutuals who like orv are trans. I don't think it's such a bad thing that we've constructed these community readings in a work we already liked for its other merits. we're going to be here anyway. as long as we do our best to be respectful and point out problems as they arise, I think it's a good thing that we're having these sorts of discussions.

[lizhly-writes]

joongdok or dokhyuk or dokjoong or whatever the fuck you want to call it.  half of a love confession fic, prompted by my wonderful orvcord friend, with two conditions: 1) kdj is in love 2) yjh is not. 

“I love you,” Kim Dokja says, out of the blue.

He tells this to you during a lull in the chaos, a quiet moment at the end of the world.  Another scenario cleared, another day done, nothing left to do but prepare for the morning ahead and the the troubles that might come.  The air is clear, crisp, and so is the sky, presenting an unobstructed view of the stars overhead.  

There is you, seated on thick, springy grass, diligently tending to the blade of your sword. There is him, standing with his hands tucked behind his back, staring far off into the distance.  In between you both is your own split second of disbelief, a shining moment of incomprehension that dissolves into thoughts of Coins and the favor of distant constellations – but no.  The channel is closed. The stream isn’t running.  The only reason to say it is for you.

A joke, at your expense – except the silence continues on, Kim Dokja making no attempt to brush it off.  A plot, exploiting your emotions – except Kim Dokja isn’t bothering to even make himself sound genuine, like he’d need to if he wanted you to believe it.  

He isn’t looking at you.  You look up from your sword, look at him, and he does not look back at you.  His gaze is distant, contemplative, as if he’s planning his next wild scheme to dominate some hidden scenario you’ve never heard of.  Like this, you can easily think you’ve misheard.  

This is perhaps the point.

I love you, he says, exactly like how you’d imagine he’d tell a secret.  Deliberately careless, carefully casual, so that the intent behind the action is lost altogether.  Thrown out in passing so you didn’t know that it was something to be kept close to the chest, set out as a seemingly insignificant, forgettable detail, so that when you screamed at him for not telling you, he could gesture at your previous conversation and say: there, I told you.  It's not my fault you forgot.  If you didn’t forget, well – it’s not my fault you didn’t understand what I meant.

The thought of it makes your fingers twitch; you think, idly, about cracking open Kim Dokja’s head and examining the contents, as if it would make any more sense to you if you saw it laid out and neatly organized before you.  

“That’s so violent, Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja says, like he can read your mind – exactly because he can read your mind.  After all, you’re thinking about him, aren’t you?

Things would be easier if it was the other way around.  If you could read his mind like a book, if you knew exactly what he was thinking, if you knew he was really thinking about you.  

“Kim Dokja,” you say, like a warning.   “What do you think you’re doing?”

Ignore me, says his tone.  It must have been the wind; pay it no mind.

Does he really think you can ignore something he says that easily?  He should know that you can’t.  He’s made sure of that himself from the very beginning, leaving you hanging for every scrap of prophecy and planning that comes out of his mouth.  You can’t break the habit now. 

“I’m just being honest,” Kim Dokja says, and now he looks at you, wry smile turning up the corners of his mouth.  “I’ve heard it’s generally good for your emotional well-being to examine how you feel out loud.  It’s cathartic.”

You can’t believe this. “You’re saying this is an emotional wellness exercise for you?”

Kim Dokja shrugs.  This is apparently the only answer he is willing to give you.

Irritating.  But then again, you already knew that.

[orphiclovers]

omg yes I am apart of so many more fandoms, I'm just not sure which one you are apart of. and the reason why I never made any posts on orv is because I have never found anyone who loved yoo joonghyuk as much as I do (also I have never found bottom yjh people ever soooo)

also I will never try to hate on a ship, as long as the shipper does not try to shove it in my face, I will always love the ship and talk about with a genuine interest !

I also lleu's character very underdeveloped and just... unchallenging in general. If lleu was genuinely made to challenge medraut and medrauts temper tantrum was much more reasonable, then maybe I would have liked him. I definitely would've loved medleu had it truly been with 2 developed characters with both having personality (aka medraut meets the standard and lleu does not)

and then goewin, GAHH I LOBE YOU.

I find the self-cest/spyjh ship extremely intriguing and genuinely so complex, imagine loving another version of you, less experienced, and so so naive. Imagine loving someone who don't even know is another version if you, destroyed to no return, like??? It should be a crime for it to be a rare pair !

(also I read a han sooyoung/kim dokja/yoo joonghyuk fic and it just scrambled my entire brain completely like girl you are literally on to something and I think it makes us moot worthy!)

I never read the novel either, but you inspired me to start reading it (apparently there's an epub?? it was said it was on orv reddits pinned post, but I can't find it anywhere)

orv has taken over my entire life (do drop the fics you're reading I am curious) so I'm not really active in any other fandom right now lol. I downloaded the orv epub here btw. good luck soldier

for twp - medraut and goewin really understand each other is what gets me. they both are better suited for the throne than Lleu but cannot take it because society forbids it - goewin because she is a woman and medraut because he is a bastard. they're both failed by Artos' off hands parenting method. they both love and are envious of lleu. goewin is the first to know about medrauts nightmares and scars but does not judge him, and he in turn defends her right to swear fealty in court. "I fear you as little as you fear me" theres mutual trust there.

medlleu is more medraut projecting his Issues onto Lleu. In the first chapter he comes back and quickly becomes devoted to Lleu's safety and comfort in a desperate bid to keep himself occupied and not think about his past two years at Orcades. as goewin tells him - he's come back changed, scarred. he's traumatized and latches on onto the first hint of stability he has, which is lleu.

Lleu is… well I think his childhood of constant sickness really fucked him up. He had no choice but to put his life in medraut’s hands and ‘trust him utterly’ knowing that he could do nothing if medraut decided to hurt him. That’s gotta be tough. All he had were his words, which he said carelessly, unknowing of how much impact and hurt they do medraut. Well, medraut hid it on purpose too. I can't speak on any development he gets in further books, but I’ve come around to his character.

there's interesting friction there, but we only see medraut's extremely biased point of view

[pttucker]

In a completely unexpected turn of events Kim Dokja is studying techniques and Yoo Joonghyuk is reading TWSA.

Can't say that I saw this one coming way back when I first started ORV but I also can't say that it in any way surprises me that even now they're mirroring each other.

Well, first things first...

Ahhh! Dokja has a new teacher!

And he's teaching him.

Dokja is actually, for the first time ever, properly learning something rather than just stealing it. Dokja is actually, for the first time ever, not completely talentless. Dokja is actually, for the first time ever, understanding what his teacher is telling him and is able to put it into practice himself rather than relying on his skills to do the work for him.

And of course it's a technique that would be related to being a reader and seems to coincide with what he's already been doing this entire novel, i.e. listening to (reading) the stories around him and interpreting them. The mention too of how Dokja has had several beings just naturally like him for some unknown reason...

I get the feeling he's been unknowingly performing "Story Control" for a while now in his own way without even realizing it. At least the very tip of the iceberg of the technique, and now, finally, Dokja is the one who gets to experience enlightenment and get a huge bump in his abilities.

Of course we also get the message "currently, the Fourth Wall is in a very thin state" and even Sangah and Dokja believe this is happening because of that thinness. Plus the fact that Sangah was able to alter the entire scenario by sending out a "revelation." It makes me wonder just how much Dokja could be affecting the world around him if the Fourth Wall wasn't present.

Like, the Fourth Wall protects Kim Dokja from the world, sure, but I'm starting to think it might also protect the world from Kim Dokja.

Oh man, and on the opposite side we have Joonghyuk who's just been given a copy of TWSA? The full TWSA or just the first scenario? It says (First) after the title and I'd like to think that means First Version, just like how Dokja now has multiple versions, but Secretive Plotter said that he couldn't give him the full revelation? But then he also said "this way, it will be a fair fight" and Joonghyuk can't really have a fair fight if he only knows the first scenario while Dokja knows the whole thing. So maybe Han Sooyoung has been creating her versions in her world and Joonghyuk has been given the first complete copy of TWSA but not the final one that she ended with/is potentially still living???

Regardless, why are you encouraging Joonghyuk to fight Dokja, Secretive Plotter?

Ughhhh idk if this is all part of some scheme (because he's totally a schemer, right?) or if he's genuinely upset with Dokja for kind of side-stepping their Outer Covenant and not killing Joonghyuk properly or if he's not even been on Dokja's side this whole time?

That or maybe he wants Joonghyuk gone, in which case, he is very optimistic in thinking Dokja would win in a one-on-one right now.

Then again, Dokja did just learn a new technique...

The naive, hopeful part of me (I know, I know) is thinking that they'll fight but not like fight fight. Because Joonghyuk hasn't seemed quite as angry these past few scenes we've had from his POV? Maybe???

Though I'm not really happy that Secretive Plotter gave him Han Sooyoung's version of TWSA. Like, does he not have access to Dokja's or did he purposefully not use Dokja's because he doesn't want Joonghyuk to see his POV and to relive their life together and potentially start having second thoughts. Especially since Sooyoung's version is probably much darker? Like, yeah, it did turn out in the end that Sooyoung and Joonghyuk of the 1863rd seemed to understand and possibly care for each other, but the story is still full of him basically being used by her. Willingly used, but still.

That's probably not going to put Joonghyuk of the 3rd round in a good mood when he's already thinking that Dokja has been deceiving and using them.

....Unless that's what Secretive Plotter meant by not being able to tell him the full revelation? Does he have access to the end of Dokja's story and he can't give that to Joonghyuk because it would be way outside the probability? If that's the case, then I'm back to thinking that Secretive Plotter is on Dokja's side and perhaps this won't go too poorly? Maybe? 😬

I mean, Dokja has his new technique all about listening to stories, so maybe if he can make Joonghyuk listen to his...

[shjapologist]

please introduce yuor blorbos to us

kyaa okay so one thing about me is that i love whzn theres a guy who lacks common sense . i'll introduce them by order of current real estate taken in my brain

lets start w lu bixing my good friend lu bixing from can ci pin

hes a scientist hes a gangster hes a genius hes a teacher he exclusively goes by the YOLO principle and if he stops for 2 seconds to think about the cost of his life he will start spiralling immediately

this is a man who has invested 1000 points in charisma and intelligence and 0 on wisdom. a man who will inject himself w a supersoldier chip just to see what it does. a man who gets himself out of shit by talking as fast as possible and is so convincing he sets off chains of events that end up sparking revolutions

introduced as showy flirty love interest, IS the showy flirty love interest but has the advantage of being insane so hes not boring abt it. guy who makes spreadsheets in his mind about how the commander has to be in love with him now definitely. hes gathered the data. hes using the scientific method. no way around it. frankly incredible

a very genuine and straightforward guy :) hes also so vaain it's def a charm point. very aware that he has terrible terrible taste in men as well but cannot stop himself from being down catastrophic for the biggest bastard in the galaxy. this is only one of the many times he acknowledges it :

hes such a charming character ive never insta stanned like this in my life. occupying every one of my spare thoughts these past few days i cant stop thinking about him and his happy childhood <- said in the most wretched tone

and. lastly. he is the FUUNNIEESSTTTT

on to blorbo number two sung hyunjae from sclass

very recently dethroned from number one. another thing abt me is that i like men who are huge cunts 😔

in his cringe toxic murderbasement ml era for the first hundred chapters of the novel terrible vibes hes got you booing and throwing tomatoes And Then His Birthday Happens and youre never the same person you once were

the bzst way to describe the character developpement this guy went through is a pic of him bllack and blue all bones shattered at the bottom of the stairs w a giant arrow pointing down like "WHAT LOVE DOES TO A MF" HEEEEESSS so special. to me. with his dumbass bloody fork

hes a guy that values his agency over anything else he loves being himself he loves living as the guy who is sung hyunjae so im a big fan of how its always at a certain level of danger. lol. his pre-regression self is so miserable and pathetic everything in that regard went terribly wrong for him his intro is one of my fav arcs :)

anyways he actually has the potential to be a genuinely nurturing presence but its so rare for it to be pertinent to his personal agenda you wouldnt Know. but then You Do Know. bc he gets drop kicked into being a real boy through escalating psychosexual games and being offered a reaching hand time and time again by the only person who ripped through the script and called him a huge bitch. you also see him tip over from standard selfishness into the kim dokja register and that is a terrible thing to happen when theres a han with abandonment issues around.

rly enjoyed seeing him turn into a fucking auntie who knits hot pink ensembles in his spare time and discovers the mundane wonders of the world and maybe the indignity of human emotion who knows(LMFAO) so anyways yes tje power of love saved him znd now hes malewife stepdad supreme half of the shit he does makes my face clip through my bones from embarrassment he has to be the most annoying fictional man ive ever seen. (through tears) youre old and decrepit grow up already bitch!!!

and so sorry im about to make you look at truly heinous images but a very very fucking funny thing that happened in the sclass webtoon is that they called on a guest artist to render his scenes in the most shoujo like way possible. NEVER recovering rom this

numberthree . yan suizhi from first class lawyer...

genius lawyer is thought to have died, is instead shoved in the body of a random guy . so the first thing he does is join up the internship program organised by the college he used to teach at to investigate his own murder. the problem is that he is complete PANTS at pretending he is not a genius lawyer so his mentor is inventing new stages of grief to go through daily

he's the impenetrable cheerful facade type. a very good bald faced liar.. once you defrost him you find out hes living his life to the fullest to cope with how deeply lonely he is :) heres a part that rendered my brain to mush

i miss you yan suizhi i need to catch up to lawyer novel sometime for real.

blorbo number four always a constant little buzz in the back of my mind YOO JOONGHYUK(allof them)

i dont think i need to wax much poetic about him. the only time traveler progamer eldest daughter grill boss . i think this should go in a museum

ok thats all the main ones i think . there's a crouching blorbo in lin jingshu from can ci pin as well but i havent seen quite enough of her yet for her to properly latch onto my brain. airing out the deep evil inside of her now that society is collapsing. crazy

thank you for listening <3 :)

[luxaofhesperides]

been thinking abt the inherent intimacy of waking up with someone and wrote a little joongdok drabble abt it...

. . .

Kim Dokja wakes up before the alarm for once. He blinks the last of the sleep away, feeling strangely rested. He’s gotten so used to always being tired and feeling like his body is made of stone when he wakes up that not being tired is strange. He almost doesn’t like it because he’s not used to it.

This is surely the result of Yoo Joonghyuk trapping him in the bed each night before it even hits midnight and refusing to get his absurdly heavy body off of him. So Kim Dokja has to stay, crushed beneath him, until he falls asleep because he can’t get anything to read like that and the sound of Yoo Joonghyuk’s slow, even breaths always lulls him to sleep before he can slip away.

It’s not… bad. He is definitely not complaining. It’s just that this is so different from how he’s lived for years, always tired and hungry and barely living. Forever cold. Alone.

The room is still dark, just beginning to lighten as the sun slowly rises from where it’s been hidden beneath the horizon. Everything is still and silent, as if the world has been muffled and submerged under water. 

Besides him, Yoo Joonghyuk shifts, slinging a sleep-heavy arm across Kim Dokja’s stomach. He lets out a quiet sigh and continues sleeping, and Kim Dokja can’t help the bubble of warmth welling up inside him, making him melt into a puddle of soft affection.

That’s another thing that’s changed: sleeping with Yoo Joonghyuk. Before him, Kim Dokja had never known the comfort of another’s touch, of the feeling of safety when wrapped up in someone’s arms beneath the covers, of how the rest of the world couldn’t touch them there. But now he did. He doesn’t want to go back to a life without this. 

He really does live only for Yoo Joonghyuk. First his story, and now for him.

To think that he could have this. It makes Kim Dokja want to cry, choking on everything he feels because it’s so much that he’d never be able to verbalize it without sounding insane. 

The alarm won’t go off for another hour. He could leave. He could get something to eat, or go to the bathroom, or grab a book to pass time until Yoo Joonghyuk wakes up. 

Kim Dokja doesn’t move. 

He turns onto his side, shifting closer to Yoo Joonghyuk to get rid of the little space between them. Pressed up against him, feeling his warmth seep into him, Kim Dokja lets out a little sigh, content beyond imagination. All he can hear is Yoo Joonghyuk’s slow breaths and all he can feel in the comforting weight of his arm on his waist. 

Any other day, this would make Kim Dokja fall asleep, but just for today, it keeps him awake, marveling at the fact that he can have this, can have Yoo Joonghyuk soft and vulnerable in sleep, sleeping deeply and easily without any nightmares. Can have his tight embrace and his heavy weight on top of him. Can have a space in the world carved out just for the two of them. 

Kim Dokja can’t help the smile that graces his face; a soft, genuine thing that he’d never show anyone else.

Gently, he reaches out and lightly drags his fingertips down Yoo Joonghyuk’s jawline, then cups his cheek. His heart is so full it’s bursting. 

He stays there, just watching Yoo Joonghyuk sleep, memorizing this moment to hold close to his chest for the rest of his life. He’s never seen Yoo Joonghyuk so serene and still, without a furrow in his brow or a scowl on the edge of his lips. 

Yoo Joonghyuk lets out a deeper breath, almost a smile, and leans into Kim Dokja’s touch. 

He can’t help it, he has to kiss Yoo Joonghyuk’s forehead, his nose, his cheek, the corner of his lips. How can he not, after seeing that?

It’s enough to rouse Yoo Joonghyuk, who doesn’t snap awake immediately as he would have years ago. No, he wakes slowly, beautifully, slowly blinking his eyes open and looking at Kim Dokja with such fondness in his gaze that it makes him blush. 

“What are you doing awake?” he asks, voice still low and rough with sleep. 

“Nothing,” Kim Dokja answers honestly, “Just looking at you.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t believe you’re here with me. That you chose to stay.”

Yoo Joonghyuk rolls them over, pulling Kim Dokja on top of him. He wraps his arms around Kim Dokja, one hand idly stoking up and down his back. Kim Dokja props his chin up on his hands, looking at Yoo Joonghyuk with a small smile.

“Where you are is where I’ll be. Always.”

“I know. I know you’ll always find me.”

“Good.” Yoo Joonghyuk tilts his chin up just slightly and Kim Dokja immediately dips his head to kiss him. “Are you hungry?” he asks when they pull away, voice barely louder than a whisper, as though he didn’t want to disturb the quiet of the rest of the world. 

“Not really. Can we just stay like this a little longer?”

“Of course.” 

“Oh, and Joonghyuk-ah?”

“Hm?”

Kim Dokja smiles, bringing his hand back to Yoo Joonghyuk’s check to brush his thumb across his cheekbone gently. “Good morning.”

Somehow, impossibly, Yoo Joonghyuk’s expression softens even more. He turns his head to press a kiss against Kim Dokja’s palm. 

“Good morning.”

[katcadecascade]

Dumplings Before this World Ends (ORV oneshot)

*spoilers up to chapter 235

Summary: 

First Murim is known for their dumplings. It's a shame that Kim Dokja mostly remembers that this place is gonna be destroyed later but for right now he'll enjoy the dumplings with Yoo Jonghyuk.

Kim Dokja is a bit ashamed to admit that he has never been asked out for dinner.

As a man in modern society that clings to traditional (heteronormative) relationships, Kim Dokja attempted to ask out a few women in his life. They all declined to no one’s surprise.

It didn’t discourage him to purse romance. It just reinforced his daily solitude to keep reading Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse.

There wasn’t much else in his life to emotionally invest into.

So majority of his life is spent diverging into the words of a fictional world.

Then to everyone’s surprise, Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse became real. There is a lot to unpack there, the whole reality shaking knowledge of trying to understand how any of this is possibly and how so far Kim Dokja has not been dead.

Like permanently because he promised to his companions that he’ll come back.

Kim Dokja is still trying to make his way to them, currently preparing for the Demon King Selection. His plan right now is to get the Breaking the Sky Sword Saint on his side by shoving Yoo Jonghyuk back onto First Murin against the protagonist’s wishes.

It’s a good plan right?

So far, the only kink in the plan is the unexpected invitation to the Gourmet Association.

Oh and the fact that the Breaking the Sky Sword Saint forces Yoo Jonghyuk and Kim Dokja out of her temple to go have dinner.

[The constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ is ecstatic of these turn of events]

A bit dumbfounded, Kim Dokja tried to refuse all of this but instead Yoo Jonghyuk simply started walking to the town district and said one thing as if everything was normal.

“Are you coming or not?”

Kim Dokja could’ve just go back in the temple, pretend that Yoo Jonghyuk didn’t just ask him out for dinner in the rudest way possible, and remain as a dateless nobody he has always been.

After all, who would ever ask out Kim Dokja?

But this is Yoo Jonghyuk, a protagonist that he has followed and practically knows like the back of his hand.

Kim Dokja accepts the invitation and starts walking by Yoo Jonghyuk’s side.

First Murin’s nightlife is a pretty scene to witness in person. No amount of written words it has been described in the novel matches the way Kim Dokja is feeling. He feels otherworldly for stepping into this supposed fictional world, a real tourist in actuality, but as much as he enjoys the scenery is can’t help but morn.

Both he and Yoo Jonghyuk await the fated destruction of First Murim. This place of forsaken tradition is simply not to be. One day this place will fall as depicted in the original novel.

But before then, dumplings.

Yoo Jonghyuk leads them to a hole in the wall restaurant. The restaurant perfectly matches the one in the book, a small place filled with many people and yet the power of the protagonist guarantees a table in the corner for them.

A server quickly gets their order for the all-you-can-eat dumpling special and thus leaves Yoo Jonghyuk and Kim Dokja in silence. Obviously, Yoo Jonghyuk opted to stare out the window rather than the awkward shape before him.

As mentioned before, Kim Dokja has never been asked out on a date and he’s hesitant to even call this one a date. He will always be an introvert at worst and yet with Yoo Jonghyuk he feels weirdly comfortable, sort of.

Any time they’re together it was only to barely make it past a dangerous scenario.

Right now, the biggest danger is probably making it through this night with Kim Dokja’s dignity intact.

“So,” Kim Dokja idly traces the condensation on his glass of water, “how’s earth?”

What he really meant was how the others was but he already asked that back in the Demon Realm. If Kim Dokja knows anything about Yoo Jonghyuk, and he does, then small talk is the last thing the protagonist will indulge in.

Yet this is Kim Dokja and he’s known to annoy Yoo Jonghyuk.

“I wouldn’t have to tell you if did not die.”

“Look, I was fated to die.”

“By the one you love most.”

“Do you have to remind me?”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyebrow twitches. “I killed you.”

“It was a group effort.”

“Do you have any idea,” Yoo Jonghyuk begins hotly but like a star it dies out fast with a muttered, “…never mind.”

“Huh?”

Before Kim Dokja could question further, a server delivers them a big amount of steamer baskets. Yoo Jonghyuk wastes no time to take off the lid, releasing a puff of hot steam of the most delicious smelling dumpling ever created in a once fictional world.

As much as Kim Dokja wants to copy Yoo Jonghyuk on just happily eating the dumpling, he wants something else first.

“You were gonna say something.”

Stubbornly, Yoo Jonghyuk ate a dumpling in silence. In retaliation, Kim Dokja did the most suicidal thing he could ever do (discounting all his previous deaths of course). He stole the next dumpling Yoo Jonghyuk was aiming for.

The protagonist glares at the reader munching on the savory dumpling. It’s very good. A part of him melts at the sheer taste.

Before Kim Dokja could pick out another dumpling, Yoo Jonghyuk says something that shakes the constellation to his core.

“They miss you.”

Kim Dokja remains frozen for an impatiently long time, long enough for Yoo Jonghyuk to grab the next basket for a new set of hot dumplings.

“Bastard, why are you shocked?”

“Because I am.”

If there was another curse in mind, Yoo Jonghyuk doesn’t say it. He just studies how Kim Dokja is currently working his brain in overtime.

Truly, he is shocked because this would be the first time he has ever heard that sentiment directed towards him.

(Did his own mother ever say that to Kim Dokja?)

The concept of someone actually missing Kim Dokja has never occurred to him. It is a genuine surprise to a person lonely and new to friendships. It’s a strange detachment to reality for the reader, especially since he techniqually ‘died’ before them all.

So not only do they miss him, they have grieved for Kim Dokja.

It really is a strange idea to think about, especially since it’s Yoo Jonghyuk presenting all these facts.

Kim Dokja know that Yoo Jonghyuk can’t ever know if anyone has ever grieved for him because the moment he dies, it’s a new timeline. Meaning his friends forget all about the scenarios and sufferings, they all endured. Besides, they usually die before Yoo Jonghuk.

It’s harsh to suggest that maybe Yoo Jonghyuk and the others should get used to Kim Dokja’s death. However, Kim Dokja doesn’t think like that. Instead, he still trying to comprehend the idea that people miss him.

He who is out casted and unremarkable. He who prefers the words of a lonely book. He who has made friends in the first time in his life.

Kim Dokja died for them multiple times already with no regret… well except for this new one.

A ringing ache settles onto his heart, still struggling against these new feelings of something soft and precious.

“I’m going to see them again.” He swallows down a lump of that weird feeling, “I promised them.”

“I know,” Yoo Jonghyuk glares, “You better keep your promise.”

Kim Dokja forces a smile, ignoring the present jumble of emotions trapped inside, “Did you miss me too?”

“You bastard.” Yoo Jonghyuk’s glare is harsher than ever.

The man’s insult is a relief to Kim Dokja. This blunt rudeness is more familiar to him than the warm guilt-ridden idea that his friends miss him.

He orchestrated them to kill him. It’s a bit difficult to remember it.

Kim Dokja will die by the one he loves most.

In the end, Yoo Jonghyuk did the last blow.

Kim Dokja thinks Han Sooyoung will tease him about this ‘poetic’ event.

“I miss them too,” he finally says.

Yoo Jonghyuk stops glaring and nods.

Under his breath, Kim Dokja adds, “That includes you.’

He stuffs another dumpling in his mouth.

It took a lot of boldness to breathe that out. Kim Dokja can’t look at Yoo Jonghyuk.

Yet over Omniscient Viewpoint…

[He missed me?]

If Kim Dokja looked up from his food, he would’ve seen the smallest of smiles on Yoo Jonghyuk.

[…that bastard.]

Eventually the rest of the dumplings are gone but that warm feeling remains inside Kim Dokja.

[your--isgayrights]

3, 5, 17, 34 :?

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Oooh hmm... Its hard to compare stuff I’ve written to other people’s writing, but I guess that the things I try to add to my writing that I wish there was more of is like, an emphasis on the relationships between characters more than plot developments, and weighing out the sort of long term emotional consequences of certain life events. I try to write every scene that I do with a specific purpose, and I have this specific feeling in mind while writing that I want to make sure is communicated to the reader so that they can understand it. Another big thing when I’m writing fic, mostly, is that I always want the reader to remember that they know who these characters are. There are a lot of AU fics that I’ve read where I’m just like... this is a great story, but I wonder why the author didn’t just use original characters, since it doesn’t really remind me of the original work. So I guess I think a significant feature of my fics is playing off the original text in a specific way?

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Ahhh, I’m the type who sees the flaws in older works rather clearly... I’d say that I’m rather proud of the first fic that I ever finished mostly because I just managed to finish it. It was only eight chapters long and I don’t think I like the writers craft much now, but if I think about it I think that I was putting something really genuine into it while writing that I’m proud that I managed to get out. Although, I have to say that I’m pretty proud of the direction that “and at the very least, the wall will change.” is going, even if its still a WIP. There’s some sections of it that I really want people to see, but I need to put in the build up first for it to properly make sense.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

Hmm... Well, there’s some obvious ones like the fact that I’m not really an nsfw writer or someone who does like trauma p*rn or gore or things like that. But I think a more fun answer is that I’m never going to write a love at first sight kind of fic. I’m kind of a big slowburn guy, and I really like writing relationships between people who have long, complicated histories with one another. I also don’t really know what it feels like to look at someone and feel attracted to them romantically right away, so its not something I would ever write about.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. 

Under the cut because I picked a long one!

“Won't you be mad with me, though?” Shin Yoosung hid her face against his leg as she asked him this sad question in that very small voice of hers. “For making you take care of Biyoo on your own…”

 …

It… it was an odd moment, because Kim Dokja had the realization that if he had known she was someone who knew Yoo Jonghyuk, he probably would have never spoken to the little girl who seemed so concerned over him now at all.

And he had been so preoccupied about this problem that only affected him that he hadn’t noticed that this kind girl was feeling so down on herself just now… truly he was a person who was far too self-concerned.

Kim Dokja extracted his leg from this young girl whose sense of responsibility was so admirable. She let him go with little resistance, seemingly not surprised by the action. The girl continued to hide her face by staring down at the ground.

He then crouched down so that he could meet Shin Yoosung’s eyes, putting his hand on her shoulder as he did.

 “Of course I’m not mad at you, Yoosung-ah.” He reassured her in the warmest voice he could manage. “After all, how can I really claim to be the only one taking care of Biyoo, when you’ve already helped me so much.”

He gently brushed some of her hair aside, so that her eyes, which had become slightly wet at this point, could meet his own.

“You saved Biyoo’s life when you took her in from the snow.” He wanted to make sure that this was something that Shin Yoosung completely understood. “She would have died if you hadn’t rescued her, you know that?”

The young girl who was not quite yet crying wiped her face a little. “I-I know that.” She said the right words, but in a voice that made Kim Dokja believe she didn’t quite understand the significance of them.

“And, you know,” Kim Dokja went on, “If I had been the one to find Biyoo in the snow, I wouldn’t have known what to do at all. It’s because you know so much about animals, and care so much about them, that you were able to save her life, and tell me all of the important instructions on how to properly take care of her. So every time I remember those words that you gave to me, and use them to properly take care of Biyoo, that’s you saving her life again, alright?”

 “A-alright…” Shin Yoosung sniffled a bit, but nodded her head.

 Kim Dokja cursed himself a bit, thinking that all the odd things he had suddenly started to say had made Shin Yoosung a little more emotional.

 “So you’ve done enough.” He summarized what he had wanted to say to her. “You can just go enjoy your dinner now, and not feel so guilty about it, okay?”

 “O-okay.” Shin Yoosung nodded once more, this time more vigorously. As if she really believed him.

Good. He patted the girl once more on the top of her head, before standing back up.

I don’t know if this came across in text because no one really commented on it, but this scene of KDJ comforting SYS was really important to me, one of the most important scenes in the chapter. It sort of mirrors this feeling I was having about some of my friends and the way that I loved them and how the positive things they have said to me over the years carry me on. Everytime I remember someone that I truly love, I remember a different way that they saved my life. And well, in fiction I don’t want to give too much away before chapter six, but I do want to mention that all of the relationship moments I choose to include follow similar themes for a reason, and I’m a bit proud of how the continuity is starting to flow together as I write more scenes in chapter 4.

[pttucker]

"Thank you." The words spilled out and Yoo Joonghyuk replied indifferently. "Don't say anything that isn't in your heart. I know you dislike me." "Of course, I dislike you. I hate you. You are the person who took my role." "I don't know what that means." In Lee Sookyung's head, time flowed slowly. She heard that it should move quickly… then why? Was it because it was hard and difficult? "…I've known you from a long time ago. That kid often talked about you. He came to visit his mother in prison and only talked about this." –This time, he challenged the 12 gods of Olympus. The young face of Kim Dokja as he talked happily. Many thoughts had floated on this child's face. Yoo Joonghyuk spoke like he felt Lee Sookyung's heart rate slowing down. "Lee Sookyung. Don't let go of your mind." Lee Sookyung barely maintained her blurring consciousness. She continued to be drowsy on Yoo Joonghyuk's back. "In any case, at least once… I wanted to thank you." "You are saying things that I can't understand."

Okay, so I've been thinking this for a while now but is Joonghyuk perhaps literally unable to comprehend that he's a character in a novel?

Like, at first I just thought it was a secret (obviously it was) and he didn't know and then I thought that maybe, for some reason, he just didn't care because he's so goal-motivated and has crushed down all his own emotions beyond what's needed to save the world, but now I'm really starting to wonder if he literally cannot process it. Like maybe he has his own version of Fourth Wall but it stops him from realizing that he's a character in a novel no matter what people say.

Like, Han Sooyoung literally calls him "protagonist" to his face but it's Han Sooyoung so it's quite possible he brushed it off as that's just how she sees the world as a writer.

But we also have the fact that people were starting to recognize that the world was following TWSA way back before Dokja got lost for three years, heck people were recognizing it both inside and outside the Seoul dome way back when he pretended to be Joonghyuk for the first time. Since then, rumors have been spread all across the internet and there's apparently still functioning news agencies because Dokja's party members are treated like celebrities.

So you'd think by now that it has to be common knowledge right? If nothing else, Sooyoung can't have been the only person to ever say something weird or act weird around the Yoo Joonghyuk. It wouldn't shock me at all if people haven't tried to interview him like they did with Heewon and Jihye.

So does he genuinely have no feelings in regards to finding out he's a fake person? Do none of the other characters not care either? We've had plenty of POV scenes from other characters but thinking about it, the one time that we see the novel openly discussed is between Dokja and his mom, Dokja and Sooyoung, Sooyoung and Sangah...all non-characters...

And now we have Dokja's mom trying to have this serious conversation with Joonghyuk and he's saying he doesn't understand and while you can take that to mean that he doesn't understand how he helped Dokja since he's only recently met him, I'm starting to wonder if it's not more literal - that he literally can't process what she's talking about.

Like, Dokja literally just got done showing the giants the literal scenes of TWSA and Joonghyuk had no reaction whatsoever. Like, maybe in that particular instance he wasn't able to see those scenes, only Dokja and the giants could, but still...

"Where are your parents?" "I was told they died in an accident." "You don't sound sad." "I can't grieve what I can't remember." Lee Sookyung knew. He didn't remember because it wasn't in the original novel. Everything about Yoo Joonghyuk was just a character setting. From the beginning, Yoo Joonghyuk's parents didn't exist. Lee Sookyung hesitated for a moment. "Yes, humans are like this. Do you think I remember all my childhood?" "…Is it memory loss?" "Everyone gets memory loss. Little by little, we will forget our memories and one day, we will forget everything."

And then on the other side we have this. It almost feels like Sookyung is trying to reassure him that it's normal not to remember things that happened when they were children and she specifically goes out of her way to say humans are like this. Like she's trying to tell him that he's still a human and reassure him that this is normal and not from him literally being a made up person.

So maybe he does know and has just been quietly processing it? Or maybe he does have a Fourth Wall, maybe all the characters do, but instead of blocking them from understanding, their versions keep their reactions to the real world muted whereas Dokja's keeps his reactions to TWSA muted? So they're aware but just can't bring themselves to care???

Like, I could see maybe one or two people just genuinely not caring, and maybe one of those people is Joonghyuk just because of how emotionally exhausted he has to be by now (both him AND 1863rd) but you're telling me that Lee Jihye doesn't have some opinions on all of that? Lee Hyunsung hasn't at least asked Dokja what he was like in the novel? Shin Yoosung hasn't asked about what she did in a future without Dokja taking her under his wing?

And then finally we have this:

Yoo Joonghyuk spoke, "Sometimes I remember things. I remember someone watching me." It was the first time Lee Sookyung heard this story and she wondered, "…Who was watching you?" "I don't know either. There was a gaze watching me for a long time. There were times when I often felt the gaze." After Yoo Joonghyuk's words were over, Lee Sookyung didn't talk for a long time. There was a long silence before Lee Sookyung laid her hands on Yoo Joonghyuk's head and spoke in a gentle voice. "Maybe it was your parents." Lee Sookyung stared up at the sky. Numerous constellations were watching them.

I feel like Sookyung is once again trying to make him feel better by saying it was his parents but at the same time Joonghyuk isn't really connecting the whole "Dokja came to talk to me about you every day when he was younger" to "Dokja knows my entire life story including my future" to "someone has been watching me for years." Or, if he is connecting the two, he's unwilling to verbalize it and just seems like he's side-stepping the whole issue?? So either he can't process that he's a character or can but can't really feel it?

Well, if nothing else, I do love it when we get mentions of Joonghyuk feeling like someone was with him during his hardships just the same as Dokja felt that Joonghyuk was there with him during his.