#genuinely the sneak peak probably wont ever amount to anything

[dev-fiction]

hi:) how are you doing,how's writing going?

Hello! I am doing well, for the most part! I've finally finished my latest bout of physical therapy and I've gotten some answers to some other medical issues, so honestly? Things are going better than I expected at the start of 2024.

Speaking of which, it seems like this is the year of writing for me. Almost all of my free time has been invested into writing, to the point that I've got like 10 different documents ranging from 5k to 60k words.

You're probably wondering: 'what changed?', which - very valid question. I haven't posted much in years after all, but there's been quite a few adjustments in my life over the course of the last year that have led to a lot of introspection.

Writing is difficult for me overall: I put my whole self into it and it can be very draining because of that. For the last 6 years I've been weighed down by both physical and mental health hurdles as well as a somewhat abusive relationship which I've only recently left.

I've also only recently learned not to invest so much of myself into my writing and to enjoy it for what it is. That doesn't mean that it can't still be difficult, but now instead of it being this insurmountable exhausting force it's a challenge to be overcome.

So, the tldr; I'm a lot better than I have been in a while and writing has been fantastic. I can't wait to post more.

Here, have a sneak peak of something that might not ever see the light of day! (I enjoy posting sneak peaks a little bit too much for my own good, apologies.)

“You’re hiding something from me.”

They’re ambling at an easy pace across a winding dirt path that stretched out beyond them, framed on all sides by sprawling farmland; their walkway was a beaten down patch of feldspar and micas, a familiar road that spiraled towards a simple two story abode otherwise known as home.

“No I’m not,” her older brother scoffs back, but beyond his bangs the tips of his ears were burning bright cherry red - a honing beacon of deceit that she’d be remiss in not exploiting, and she harrumphs triumphantly at the tell-tale sign, turning to her twin for back up when-

“What!” she says, a little flabbergasted, “Not you too!”

He’s flushed in full; refusing to meet her eyes, lips puckered, and it’s the deep crease in his brows that has her slowing down as she realizes that whatever it was they were hiding, they’d been doing so for a while now - longer, at least, than she initially thought. A glance at the oldest among them and the way his fingers were tapping an unsteady beat atop his crossed arms - even as he met her gaze head on - tells her all she needs to know, and the sharp sting of betrayal that runs a hot course across her skin is so sudden and piercing that it has her staggering to a halt entirely.

There’s sticky acid taking the form of venom-soaked words worming its way up her throat, and she bites down on her lip harshly to keep the resentment from boiling over; instead, she takes hold of her backpack in a white-knuckled grip and lets the tight bundle of tumultuous emotions brewing in her stomach settle and sink into a cold indifference that has her shouldering past her brothers roughly to set off at a quicker pace.

They call out behind her, but she ignores them and resolves to eat the muffin her twin had been saving for a snack later; a petty nonconsequential form of revenge that will do little to sate the burning torrent beneath her skin, but will also garner her the least amount of wounded-kitten looks.

She’d noticed the signs about a week ago.

There had been smaller, unconventional moments leading up to that first instance of major skepticism. A misplaced word leading into stumbling, rambling excuses, expression faltered as sharp eyes flitted from hers - puzzle pieces she hadn’t known she was collecting slotting together into this great inescapable thing that had cracked open; her brother, hiding something from her.