#getting drunk and going through old sunny stuff to cope with life

[charmac]

What is this Don't Hug Me I'm Scared-ass promo for S9, jesus christ

[anywhozits]

All I Really Want: Chapter 2

Rating: T

Pairing: Kristanna (at some point lol)

Verse: 90s High School AU / frozen retelling

Read on AO3

This wasn’t Anna’s first rodeo. During her freshman year at Arendelle Prep; hell, even during eighth grade and if she were drunk enough to admit it—that one time halfway through 7th grade when she really, really wanted to smooch Charlie Blower that 9th grader who she ran into in the hallway, she went to these kinds of parties.

The classic Arendelle Prep rager. Rich parents out on some kind of business trip. Way too much vodka. Cheap beer. Hot tubs. Silly games. Maybe a bonfire or two which like, totally wasn’t dangerous at all.

This night was the same as others before it. Bebe Shelley’s parents were out in Cabo for some reason with the “law school buddies” or “law firm buddies” or whatever her gross-ass dad called the ring of people he did lots of coke and called up prostitutes with. Well—not like that last part would happen with the wives present. Or would it.

Anna shuddered—literally—at the thought.

Gross. No. She didn’t want to think of any of that super messed up shit. She couldn’t believe Ashley even told her all of that. But maybe it was a coping mechanism or something.

Her driver, the most illustrious Kai, her aid in everything mischievous she had been up to ever since that 7th grade party where she had succeeded in smooching Charlie Blower, pulled the car up to Bebe’s house.

She took a deep breath. She was nervous for some reason. Probably because she knew Bebe’s sister Ashley would’ve invited the entire junior class and Anna had an inkling she super wanted to smooch tonight, too. And the juniors were the most totally hot grade in the upper school right now. Like, everybody knew it. Even the teachers. She’d heard Mrs. Adamson talking about it in a hushed voice with Mrs. Ingalls at convocation last week.

They were hot. Smoking hot, really. Like, smoking hot period.

And it helped that these were the boys who already were super into freshmen like her. Their first dance of the year, glowdown, was filled with her and her friends finding any way to grind on them. And they liked it too. Clearly. Anna felt that they liked it.

But somehow she made the stupid mistake of starting a grind off with Bebe that distracted from her goal. Sure, she’d won. Twenty-four guys compared to Bebe’s seventeen. But she hadn’t done anything else with them.

So she hadn’t secured herself that man she told herself she wanted since high school started. High school meant romance and drama and maybe a little bit of learning or something, too. But she wanted a high school boyfriend. She wanted someone to light up her life and her heart and she wanted everything that came with having that. She just wanted… someone. She wanted love. She wanted someone to love her.

The car came to a stop. Kai gave Anna a knowing ‘see you in the morning’ nod before ushering her out of the car. She opened the door slowly but slamming it suddenly, confused as to why she didn’t hear the familiar sound of the door banging closed behind her until she remembered that her best friend sat in the seat next to her.

“Wait! Kristoff—sorry. I forgot—” Anna shook her head. “Nevermind. Are you ready?” Anna was just so used to arriving to these kinds of house parties alone. Kristoff usually avoided them, unless Anna was the host, of course, but tonight Anna had begged and begged him until he finally gave in. All she had to do was jut out her lip and give him those classic puppy dog eyes. Rest assured he would do whatever she asked.

“Yeah. I’m ready.” His face was morphed into an extremely dissatisfied pout. Anna imagined he probably regretted agreeing to this whole situation, but she was thankful he came anyway. If this night didn’t go the way she planned, then she’d be happy to instead spend the night with him jumping on trampolines and running around to beat of the Smashing Pumpkins’ guitar riffs.

Kristoff’s drunken air guitar talents were legendary. Every time.

“Um… you sure?” Anna had tried to walk a few paces ahead of him but Kristoff remained firmly planted on the driveway. “You’re not moving at all.”

“Right,” Kristoff said. “Moving. Gotta… move.” Eventually he picked up his pace, shuffling his feet to catch up to Anna. She turned to face him, then, smiling wide at one of the people who consistently lit up her world.

His black Offspring skull t-shirt billowed a little bit in the slight wind of an Orange County January. Anna noticed a little hint of his sketchily acquired Nirvana tattoo sticking out from the sleeve of his left arm. But literally just a glimpse. The curve of the smiley face’s chin.

She thought it was damn awesome that at sixteen years old he already had two tattoos. Like he somehow had the balls to sneak out and find someone who would do that to minors. Someone he ended up befriending, even. He had a connection.

Naturally she’d debated getting one herself, but she still felt too young. Yeah, Kristoff and Anna were in the same grade, but he was basically two years older than her. Somehow, she was only reminded of this when she caught sight of his tattoos. What Anna deemed the ultimate symbol of maturity. Of… advanced age. Of those two years between them.

When Kristoff reached her, Anna grabbed hold of his hand, and they walked hand in hand to the intricately carved mahogany door of the Shelley household. Anna pressed the doorbell, hoping the chime would ring over the S Club 7 blasting through the surround sound.

Thankfully, Ashley pulled open the door. “Ohmygod, Anna!” Ashley bounced up to Anna and hugged her with such force Anna thought she might burst. She could feel the stark, well—hard proof of Ashley’s boob job. A sixteenth birthday present that had set off an endless stream of gossip. “And you brought your friend… Christopher, was it?”

“Kristoff.”

“Right. Well—welcome, Kristoff! Glad you could make it.”

Anna shrugged and clapped her hands together. She felt a jolt of excitement shoot through her. A party! A party was just what she needed to forget about her shit week. Elsa hadn’t called back after Anna had left her at least twelve or thirteen messages and her parents had done nothing but ignore her. But what else was new on that front…her parents were a lost cause. But Elsa. Elsa was busy, though. At her boarding school. Studying hard, probably. And there was also the three-hour time difference. Anna knew that. There were loads of reasons why Elsa didn’t call back. She couldn’t be disappointed.

She wouldn’t be.

So, Anna smiled through it. She tried her very best to swallow the tremble in her voice. “I need something to drink.” Not one crack. Not one break. She always did such a great job hiding.

“You know where to find those,” Ashley added with a wink. She ushered Kristoff and Anna to the kitchen and made a beeline for what appeared to be the dance floor.

Anna skipped—literally skipped—to the kitchen, Kristoff stumbling behind her and nodding nervously when she handed him a shot of vodka. He took one whiff and scrunched up his face. He wasn’t usually a shot guy but Anna brought it out in him.

She knew he had some stuff he wanted to forget, too.

“Threetwoone!” Her countdown was decidedly not a countdown. Both Anna and Kristoff grimaced intensely when the liquid stung their throats and then chased the vodka heavily with some Sunny D.

“Another one?” Kristoff asked, feeling nothing. What a heavyweight. Anna remained incredibly jealous. A couple months ago, Olaf told Anna that she could never go shot to shot with Kristoff and her own stupid dumb naïve stubbornness made her do it. That night had ended so poorly. Probably. Well—no way it could have ended any other way. Anna didn’t remember anything past shot number nine. Her throat burned for days from all the barfing she did.

But tonight, she figured she’d keep to a limit. A few drinks behind Kristoff at all times. Except for now… “Let’s do it!”

So they did. Switching to a chaser of Hawaiian punch this time. Kristoff had definitely poured at least a shot and a half into their red solo cups, but Anna was grateful for it, honestly. Now she felt the perfect amount of buzz for her Junior Boy Hunt. That sounded like an okay name for this quest. Junior Boy Hunt. Had some mediocre ring to it.

She’d keep it for now.

Kristoff took one more shot and then grabbed himself a beer but not before pouring Anna a vodka cranberry.

“Thanks, Kris,” Anna said. “I’m going to take a lap, I think.”

“Okay. I’ll be here, probably. Or… looking for Olaf. I think he said he might come.”

Anna nodded and smiled at him, thinking to herself that this was where and how Junior Boy Hunt began. She held the red solo cup so tightly her knuckles started to turn white. She massaged her lip between her teeth in sheer resolve. Her eyes roamed over the crowd of people on the dance floor.

They all seemed mostly paired off.

Then she looked at the living room. Also pairs.

Jesus. Was this some kind of a hook up party and she didn’t get the memo to arrive early enough to secure her place?

Whatever.

She pivoted in her Vans to run outside, but right as she did, she bumped straight into someone and the entirety of her vodka cranberry spilled all over the front of her shirt. “Ooof!” She yelled, laughing just as she always did when she did something clumsy. Because. Classic Anna, let’s be real.

“Whoa!” The mysterious human wall grabbed her shoulders to stabilize himself. But then he ran his hands along her arms and held onto her hands right as he stared into her eyes and then Anna realized oh shit this human wall was a guy who was actually really, really hot and maybe this was, like, fate or something because hot DAMN. He wore a pink Lacoste collared shirt which seemed to make his bright red hair sparkle. His most striking feature—by far—was his eyes, filled with a beautiful, engulfing green that swirled in a shocking mixture of mischievousness and confidence. She’d never in her entire life seen eyes that color. Like… an emerald. It captivated her. She didn’t want to move. “I’m sorry about that… oh, fuck. Your drink… on your…” His eyes drifted down to her white tank top. He was definitely staring at her cleavage. Anna puffed out her chest a little bit in response.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I get distracted by—um, I run into people a lot. I mean, I’m really clumsy. I guess. It’s not because you’re hot or anything. Well, you are hot, but I don’t… that’s not why I ran into you, it’s more just because I wasn’t looking—I didn’t notice you were hot until, well, right now, and—”

“I’m Hans,” he said and Anna exhaled. So she hadn’t made a complete fool of herself with her rambling. Those little blessings. “Westergaard.”

“Anna Larsen.” There was a slight twinkle in his eyes when she said this.

“You go to Arendelle Prep?”

“Yeah. I’m in Bebe’s grade.”

He chuckled. “Fresh meat.”

“Yup! And you’re a…?”

“Junior. Ashley’s my good um… friend.” Except the way he said that made Anna think maybe they were something more than friends and it made her nervous. “I’m sure she could give you a new shirt.”

“Oh, I don’t really care about the stain.”

“It’s a little see-through.”

Anna blushed. Hard. She definitely had cheeks the shade of ketchup and it only made it worse that he still held onto her hands. Thank the Lord she had bought a new metallic green bathing suit last week.  

“You know, I think I recognize you from somewhere,” Hans said. “Are you on the volleyball team?”

She blushed again. “Yeah. I am. Volleyball, basketball, and track, actually.” Technically track season hadn’t started yet, but she found it important to mention anyway.

“My friends and I… we like watching the volleyball games.”

Anna laughed nervously. She could feel it… now was the time to be bold. Now was the time to really put the Junior Boy Hunt plan into action. “So, um… wanna get me a new drink? And you can… um—meet me outside?” Anna tried her best to be assertive. She wanted him to know she was interested and more than anything else she needed him to know that she was mature. She was a freshman, sure—fresh meat or whatever he had said earlier, but this wasn’t her first party, and this wasn’t her first time making out with somebody the first night she met them.

“Vodka cranberry?”

“Make it a vodka soda this time. Don’t wanna ruin any more clothes.”

He laughed at her and she went giddy. Her heart fluttered a mile a minute. Okay. Not too shabby. Junior Boy Hunt was already a resounding success. She spun around to watch him walk to the kitchen and stared longingly at the way he poured her drink. Kristoff had disappeared somewhere, probably looking for Olaf. She’d meet up with him later. No worries.

So, then Anna skipped excitedly outside, finding a perfect spot next to the fire where she could see herself spending the rest of the night with Hans. What a thrill. She couldn’t wait.

She discarded her tank top, pleased enough to have a solid vodka-cranberry soiled excuse to show off her new bikini, fixed her braids, and pulled down her jean cutoff shorts. Biting her lip while she tried to determine how much of her abs would peek through while sitting on this chair.

Laying herself out in as Barbie as a pose as she could, Anna found her footing. Her body glistened in the light of the crackling fire, her freckles on display. Her shorts low enough on her hips to showcase her small waist and her voluptuous booty. Well. Not that he would really be able see her booty since she had to use it to, like, sit on. But still. She looked enrapturing like this and she knew it.

She counted down the seconds until she figured he would come back with their drinks and see her like this. Thrilled.

But then.

“Oh, hey, Anna,” Kristoff said, sliding into the spot next to her on the patio couch.

Anna shot to attention, emerged from her Barbie pose, and scooted a little bit away from him. “Oh. Kristoff. Hi.” Her eyes darted about, trying to see if she saw Hans anywhere. She didn’t want him to be turned off by the fact she now spoke to a guy like twice his size. Hans didn’t know that Kristoff was just a friend. And what if, seeing her here… he thought that it meant she found somebody new. That she didn’t want him. Because that wasn’t the case. Like, literally at all. Obviously. Anna had… maybe a couple times considered smooching Kristoff. Maybe a couple. Well, technically handful was the better word to describe how many times she’d had that thought. But that didn’t mean she liked him liked him. She just liked him as a friend. And sometimes it was hard to separate friend feelings from romantic feelings and… besides.

He definitely thought of her has a friend. A little sister he had said once. And it still made her stomach sink even thinking of the night he said those two words.

“You couldn’t find Olaf?”

“I’m not so sure he’s here. I looked all over.”

“Oh, well…” Anna started panicking a bit. She knew Hans had to be on his way, and if her big brother or best friend whatever the heck he was to her cock blocked her like this she would be pissed. Her eyes beat back and forth and back and forth. She didn’t see the flash of Hans’s red hair anywhere. For now, she was safe. But only for now. “Listen—”

Kristoff smiled softly. “Have I ever told you how cute you look in braids?”

The comment made Anna blush and momentarily forgot her mission. “No.”

“Well, you do. You—”

But then she saw Hans walking through the sliding glass door. And she got desperate. “Kristoff, um… I think it’s best—I need to—”

“Anna!” Hans somehow squeezed his way between the two of them on the couch. Kristoff recoiled and exhaled in a pout. “Got you these.” He handed her not one but two vodka sodas. For himself, he had chosen some generic looking beer bottle. “Thought you looked thirsty.”

Anna was happy to double fist. She felt like she needed some added liquid confidence for this next part of her quest.

“Who’s this guy?” Hans said this in a way that made it seem like Kristoff didn’t sit so close to him that their thighs rubbed together.

“That’s Kristoff. He’s my friend. Um…He was just leaving.” She’d explain everything to him later. But for now she felt bad.

Kristoff slouched, and his eyes shot to the floor. He looked so dejected that guilt churned within Anna’s stomach. But slowly he got up, nodding, not quite looking into Anna’s eyes when he said, “Yup. I need to… um. Bye.”

Anna exhaled slowly. Everything would be fine once she explained it to him. He probably already knew what the deal was.

So, she tried to put that thread of guilt out of her mind.

“Sorry about that. He’s great, I promise. He’s just… he gets overwhelmed at parties like this.” Anna moved in closer to Hans, trying to recreate her earlier pose. She took a sip of one of the drinks, placing the other one carefully on the floor. It was strong. Hans had blessed her with a heavy pour. She took a couple more gulps of the vodka and then cleared her throat. “So… where do you live?” Anna mentally kicked herself. What kind of a way to start the conversation was this?

“Newport.”

“Oh—um. Beach or Coast? I live in Newport Coast.”

“Beach. Port streets.”

“Awesome,” Anna said, exhaling. Trying to decide what her next move was. She took a few sips of the vodka soda, thankfully feeling a bit more buzzed. He had to have put at least two shots in it. “I—um—my family has a beach house on the Peninsula. Not too far from the Fun Zone, um. If you’ve ever been.”

“The Fun Zone?” His whole entire face lit up and he instantly became even dreamier. “Sure I’ve been. First ferris wheel I ever went on.”

Hans’s hand found Anna’s upper thigh and she instantly felt both a pressure down below and a heart heaving thrill of excitement the second he did. His eyes fell to her bikini again.

And then. Right then.

Anna knew she had him in the palm of her hand. She didn’t feel nervous anymore.

“The ferris wheel is great,” she laughed, effortlessly. “We used to go there all the time when I was little. My dad spun me too hard on the Drummer Boy and I threw up next to the trash can. Like, I was so close to making it an elegant barf that nobody had to clean up or anything but nope. I failed. Literally… adjacent to the trash can.”

Hans laughed now. Heartily.

Yes. Nice work, Anna. You’re funny. You’ve got this. Two points to Anna in the Junior Boy Hunt. And then, while still laughing, he moved his hand a little further up on her thigh. Two more points. “My sister made it to the bathroom. Barfed in the toilet. And I think that moment really set us on our life trajectories. Class Act Elsa and Hot Mess Anna.”

He laughed again. She had to give herself at least five points for that one.

“Elsa’s your sister?”

“Mmhmm. She’s like a super genius. Goes to this uppity boarding school in New England and will probably end up at Harvard or something after she graduates in May,” Anna said cheerily, chugging her drink. Willing herself to forget those unanswered phone calls. “And… meanwhile here I am.” She sipped—more like slurped—her drink at least thrice. “Hot.” Sip. “Mess.” Sip. She gulped. Time for a redirection. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Twelve.”

Now Anna laughed. “You’re joking.”

“Nope. I’m the youngest of thirteen. All brothers.”

“I’m jealous,” Anna said. Meaning it wholeheartedly. She’d love to have a house that full. But then she noticed Hans looking at her sideways and she recoiled. “Is that weird?” Hans didn’t answer her, he just ran his hand along her cheek. So slowly, so delicately that Anna felt herself shiver. “Must’ve been chaotic, then. Going to The Fun Zone as a pack of thirteen kids.”

“Yeah, my brothers were assholes about it. Always trying to force me on Scary Dark Ride.”

“What? You’re telling me you were scared?” Anna cackled. Literally cackled. “That ride’s so lame! Like, totally not scary. At all.”

Hans’s voice got lower, edging on husky when he said, “Maybe I’ll let you force me on it sometime.”

Anna’s heart almost stopped right there. He wanted to go out with her, like, on a date? Probably? That was a date, right? He meant this as a date? The two of them going to The Fun Zone. Maybe he meant in a group. Like a group of them would go and a group of them ride the ride and then get some ice cream and hang out at her beach house or something. But then Anna took a few more horrid burning sips of her drink and decided… fuck it. “You mean like a date?” She scooted even closer to him somehow and pushed her upper arms against her top. She didn’t have the biggest boobs. Well, definitely not compared to Ashley and her fake-ass ones, but she still knew how to show them off. And Hans seemed interested, so…

She tucked a loose strand of hair around her ear and chugged the last bit of one vodka soda as she waited for his answer.

But it never came.

Instead, she felt the warmth of his lips covering her own. His arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her on top of him, so she straddled him with ease.

“You’re beautiful,” he said between kisses.

Her heart fluttered at those words. Damn did it feel good to be complimented like that. To feel, even if only for a few minutes, that she was the center of somebody else’s world.

Anna could say nothing but, “You’re really hot. Like, really hot. Hot damn hot.” She laughed. Rambling again. “Okay I’m gonna stop talking now.”

She grabbed onto the back of his head and pulled him in closer, so they kissed deeper, tongues fighting for dominance.

He was by far the best kisser of the maybe seven-or-so people Anna had kissed in her life. There was something startling about it, honestly. Nobody else could measure up.

Hans knew what he was doing. He really, really knew what he was doing. And as his hand squeezed her ass, Anna let out a delighted moan. Shit. Yeah. This guy knew.

Eventually they transitioned to the porch swing, and then to the hammock, and then to a patch of grass by the hammock, and then the trampoline, and finally the hot tub. Both vodka sodas were finished now, the empty cups sitting by the fire, next to the pile of their discarded clothes. Anna still straddled him, kissing him deeply, thoroughly enjoying the new sensation the hot water provided.

It seemed the rest of the party-goers had cleared out of the backyard. Only the sounds of TLC kept them company. And maybe it was all the alcohol or maybe it was the sense of utter euphoria she felt after these hours with Hans, but damn kissing Hans almost felt like chasing waterfalls…. And that definitely meant that she had at least one million points in the Junior Boy Hunt.

But she wanted to take it a little bit further. To secure her spot. Maybe she needed a billion points to win her own game. “Um… are you sleeping here tonight?”

“That was the plan,” he said, crooning. “Are you?”

“Yeah. Duh. Always.”

“Your parents don’t want you back home?”

Anna laughed in spite of herself and rolled her eyes. “My parents are happy I’m not there to bother them.”

Hans grabbed hold of one of her braids and twirled it in his fingers. “Can I say something crazy?”

Anna nodded.

“I think I love you.”

Her jaw dropped. In a totally unladylike way as her mom would say if she even cared enough to criticize her daughter. Anna did a double take. “Wait, what?”

“I think I love you, Anna,” he repeated. His eyes sparkled in the moonlight. Those absolutely brilliant green eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and what she felt in that moment—that pure, raw, unadulterated pull toward him and only him… it must have been love.

“Oh—wow. I… um—” She blushed, slowly growing more confident. Love. Yes. This was love. “I think I love you, too.”

Their lips met again, more passionately, more purposeful. She felt hot all over and not just from the… you know—hot water of the hot tub and all that.

She had certainly received a billion points. No doubt about it.

And they stayed outside for the rest of the night. The two of them. They moved from the hot tub and back to the grass, back to the couch, back to the trampoline. They watched the stars, they split a bottle of wine, they made s’mores.

They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

And Anna knew this was love. This was exactly what love felt like.

To be someone’s world and someone’s rock and someone’s other half.

She loved love. She loved Hans.

This was the best night of her life.

[ivyfics]

With Me - Chap 5

Even as an alive person, Tetsurou wasn’t easy to live with. He knows that much at least, fleeting memories of frustration and roommate agreements floating around his head.

Not much has improved with him as a not-alive person either.

Read on AO3

Pairing: KuroTsuki Rating: M Chaps: 5/? (May change in the future) Additional Tags: Ghost!Kuroo, Haunted!Tsukishima, Tiniest bit of crack, Future angst.

PREVIOUS CHAP -  NEXT CHAP - INDEX

“You are not walking out that door wearing that. Absolutely not.” Tetsurou floats, hands on his hips. Works on learning how to give someone the evil eye.

“Can you hear that?” Kei pauses, hand stilling where he’s tying his shoes. He tilts his head to the side and closes his eyes straining to hear. “It’s me, not caring.”

Kuroo is used to Kei being an absolute little shit by now, so he only scoffs. “You have such a nice ass and you waste it–squander it!–on ill-fitting garments. What has your ass ever done to you? Don’t you fucking grab those shoes!”

Kei pointedly ignores him, sliding his feet in, retying his already perfectly secure shoelaces. He’s a bunny-ears type of guy and it makes it worse for Kei to be ignoring him on purpose while making bunny ears with his laces.

Tetsurou shimmers close, unties the other one side, and starts tying it again, no bunny ears on sight.  Kei tries to bat at him. “Don’t micromanage me. Go away!”

Tetsurou swerves before Kei can make contact and when he’s a safe distance away from Kei’s long arms, he pulls on the end of the hoodie’s string until it’s uneven.

Tetsurou hates that thing. Loathes it. “I’ll burn that thing!”

“Excuse me!?” Kei tightens the knot with deliberate force. “I get no respect in this house. This is my place! I pay rent!”

That feels like an unfair shot, Tetsurou has never had to pay rent because he doesn’t live here (Or at all, really.) “Yeah, well, I was here first.”

“You bitch.”

“Asshat.”

Kei’s alarm goes off and he pulls himself away from their squabble. “I’m going to be late today.”

Wednesdays are study group sessions for Kei. He gets home and immediately dives into bed until Tetsurou pesters him to at least change into pajamas. On the days where he’s especially annoying, he might get Kei to have a snack before bed. “Play nice with your study group. Take off your earphones once in a while, talk to another human being.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later.”

“Don’t forget to eat if it’s getting late. Have a power break. Keep hydrated!”

“Yes, Mom. ” Kei walks away, middle finger high in the air.

Tetsurou doesn’t know it yet, but he started a war that day.

Even as an alive person, Tetsurou wasn’t easy to live with. He knows that much at least, fleeting memories of frustration and roommate agreements floating around his head.

Not much has improved with him as a not-alive person either. He’s nosy and too loud sometimes, he doesn’t hold his thoughts when he should. It’s not surprising that there are, occasionally, consequences to him being himself.

But this? This is going over the line.

Kei’s made a game of it, after their little spat last week. He’s turned it into slow, drawn-out torture. Taken all of the minuscule malice that lives in his gigantic body and poured it into the most miserable punishment.

Kei walks out of the bathroom already dressed. He comes out and stands, just stands, hands in his pockets, and manufactured aloofness radiating from his every pore.

Kuroo stills.

He looks once, twice, and gasps. “I don’t hate it. I don’t hate you in that. This is a mistake.”

There’s glee somewhere in Kei's expression. Hidden underneath all those layers of smugness and superiority, Kei is happy Tetsurou likes how he looks, he’s sure of it.

Maybe.

Maybe Tetsurou has finally lost the last marble he didn’t know he still had.

Kei is wearing what Tetsurou would consider the most obnoxious bright yellow tracksuit and he looks… so fucking good. Like Good good.

Like ‘Tetsurou might have tried to pick him up in a past life’ good. It’s slouchy and baggy and cool, somehow, matching to a tee with Kei’s pre-sleep vibe. The one that makes his eyes heavy and half-lidden and his expression slack. His limbs are leaden heavy and every move is set half a step slower.

It makes Tetsurou feel weird. Fizzy.  He doesn’t know how to cope with it. “I’m sick.”

“You’re not sick,” Kei fires back. “You’re a ghost, you can’t get sick”

Tetsurou stammers. He feels off and Kei makes something inside him turn. He doesn't like turning, wants no part of it, no siree. He’s sick . “Oh, how do you know that, Mr.Ghost-Expert?”

“Can you get sick?” Kei's tone is mockingly bland.

“I don't know. What if this is ghost sick? Could I re-die? Like dead but a deeper level of dead.”

Kei’s eyes go nearly white with his exaggerated eye roll. Tetsurou half wants to smack him and half wants to run away and hide in between the walls for thirteen eons.

Kei gets home late one evening, walks in, drops everything, and stands in the middle of this kitchen. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “Do you have to?“ Kei pleads. “Is there nothing else you could do?”

Tetsurou doesn’t pay attention to him at all, engrossed in his show.“What?"

"Kuroo."

Kei’s tone has him turning to see him.

Ah.

Tetsurou shrugs. “Pretend I am a cat. Accept my quirks with grace and a little loss of dignity.”

Kei closes his eyes, defeated, for a moment. He opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again.“Cats don’t crawl on walls.”

Tetsurou doesn’t move from his perch on the wall beside the window. “Only because of physics.”

“I could have lived somewhere else. Rented the other apartment. It smelled like mothballs, old pizza, and weed.”

“Uh-huh.”

Kei carries on, voice warping with his trek to the bedroom. “‘ This one is cheaper ’, I said. ‘ What’s a little ghost now and again’ , I thought?”

Tetsurou lets him be. “Fucked yourself over with that one my friend. Ghost time is all the time.”

Rain, this far up, is soundless. A soft cushion from the everyday noises that reach them from the outside, a barrier sprinkling from the sky. Rain falls.

Storms rage. They are loud winds beating against the side of buildings, announcing their violence with gusts like fists that carry darts of raindrops and shuddering cries of thunder. Unignorable.

Alive.

Tetsurou sighs, contented. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

The storm hasn’t disturbed Kei’s reading against the couch. He’s one of those people who shift, hasn’t been able to be still in one place while devouring pages. He started on the couch, sitting against the arm. He’s on the floor now, sitting with his legs crossed on the second-hand rug his brother sent him in the mail. It doesn’t go very well with the rest of the room with its odd orange circles and green lines, but a rug is a rug and the shabby hair looks soft, even if it’s worn in places.

Kei burned through half of his book since before the storm became one and at this pace, he’ll be done before bedtime. “I thought you liked it when it was sunny?”

He does. He very much does love to gorge on sun until he’s drunk. Storms have that same vitality, energy pouring out of the sky and beating itself against concrete and glass. “I like sunny days and storms. Rain is very middle ground. Overcast is neither here nor there so I don’t like those very much.”  It’s quite poetic, really, seeing as Tetsurou is the embodiment of neither here nor there.Maybe it’s just sad. He’d rather think it’s poetic. “I love storms.”

Kei hums in agreement. Someday Tetsurou will learn how he can make even a hum sound patronizing. “Of course you do. Isn’t it like ghost law?”

“What?”

“It starts storming, and out come the creepy ghosts to murder everyone?”

Tetsurou sputters, offended. “I am not a creepy murder ghost. I’m a cute, helpful ghost.”

Kei almost chokes on the scoff that comes out of him. “Sure.”

Tetsurou is about to refute with a ten-point list of why he is a cute, helpful ghost before he’s interrupted by a flash of light, followed by a deafening crack of thunder that plunges them into darkness.

Kei lowers his book to his lap, throws a mildly annoyed glance at the speckled window. He looks up at the ceiling when he’s bored of watching rain hit the window. Let’s out a deep, bored sigh when there’s nothing else to do. “So. What tricks do you have?”

“Tricks”

Kei doesn’t even look at him. “Yeah. Ghost things. Spooky stuff. Tricks. ”

“I'm not a dog.”

“I wish you were a dog.”

Tetsurou smirks. Kei is not ready for this. This is his moment. Finally, he's going to scare Kei shitless and win this thing. He focuses on Kei, on the way he looks around, his human eyes finally getting used to the drastic shift in lighting. He’s relaxed, at ease with the noise and the thunder. Lightning strikes at a distance, it’s light faint through the sheets of water. It sets Kei’s face alight for a moment, bouncing off his glasses and Tetsurou admires his penchant for timing by releasing his question straight into Kei’s head exactly at that moment. What kind of dog?

Kei's shoulders go up with a jump, a choked gasp. His head swings forward with a jerk to look at Tetsurou.

Tetsurou riots. Just gives it all in one big evil villain laugh. Finally!

“Not funny.”

“ Au contraire , my friend, t’was very funny.”

“What the hell was that?”

“Oh, you know, a little creepy murder ghost action.”

Kei rubs at his temple. “So you can just talk into people’s heads. That’s neat. Just great.”

“Hey, you’re the one who asked for tricks.”

“If you can do that then why do you talk normally?”

Tetsurou shrugs.

He doesn't want to forget what it feels like to have a conversation, even with himself, to talk out loud. Losing words feels like losing more humanity. He doesn’t want to forego words for thoughts but Kei doesn’t need to know that.  “It’s a bit rude, talking into people’s heads all the time.”

“Fair point,” Kei concedes with a nod, always one for politeness. It takes him thirty seconds to break from pretending he doesn’t want to know. His tongue clicks on his teeth, mild tone betraying the twitching of the hand not holding his book, thumb jammed on the page he was reading. He seems to notice he’s still holding it and places next to his knee after gently folding down a corner. “So, what else can you do?”

“Other than that, not much that you haven’t already seen.”

“Can you make other people see you?”

Kei looks at him, dissecting his expression. Tetsurou doesn’t know what he’s looking for but being on the end of Kei scrutiny always makes him antsy. “Uh, haven’t really tried?”

That is a lie, a bold-faced lie he hopes Kei doesn’t catch.

Of course, he’s tried. He tried, and tried and tried. It never worked. Nobody saw him. Nobody listened to him.

Nobody but Kei.

There are other things Tetsurou can do.

He can be solid but not for long. It drains him until he loses his shape and starts to phase through things unwittingly, making him feel as if there were two tons of bricks weighing him down for a while. He had to learn how to stop going through shit. It was so annoying, trying to grab onto something and going through it instead.

To make himself solid is not to return to his body. It’s not summoning a physical copy. Tetsurou is not flesh and blood. It is to steel the rawness of the entity that he is, pure unadulterated energy. Create a case around it, add weight but still feels like a ghost.

Thankfully, Kei doesn’t catch on and moves along. “Can you possess things? Make the couch cushion possessed?”

“Objects are a different thing. You see me move shit around all the time.”

“But is it like...Telepathically?”

Kei has been curious about it for a while, Tetsurou can guess, hearing the hidden excitement in his voice. “Yes. No. More like, a magnet, I guess?”

Tetsurou basically tapes the energy coming off of him to the energy left behind on objects until he can move them. Objects don’t particularly feel anything but if it’s a big object Tetsurou will feel very icky so he tries to avoid doing all of these things at all costs.

Then he opens his big mouth and gives Kei unsolicited information. “For humans, it feels wrong.”

It’s the best he can come up with to describe it.  The energy of living human people is a cobweb of light surrounding them and what they touch. Strings upon strings of energy spooled together and slowly unraveling on all the things they come in contact with. Kei’s are a mix of—as a big Fuck you! to Tetsurou himself– yellow and orange, with some shiny black coming through very rarely.

He hates human strings. Every time he’s run through them even on accident it’s thrown him for a loop straight into hell. Minus zero out of ten, would definitely not recommend.

Kei gives him a look, a full one, with pursed lips and thinking eyebrows.

Tetsurou sighs. “You want to feel, don’t you?”

He nods. “I wanna feel.”

“Dude, it’s going to feel bad. Like, Awful bad.”

Kei juts out his hand, unphased. Tetsurou reluctantly brings his own hand forward, slowly, to give Kei a chance to change his mind. He doesn’t. The tip of Tetsurou’s finger glides over the top of Kei’s palm, phases through the barest amount, and a shock runs through his arm. Kei pulls away first and stares at his hand, runs the fingers of his free hand over the spot Tetsurou touched over and over.

He trips over his words trying to get them out. “It's like ice but more.”

“That’s...pretty accurate actually.” The freezing cold of the universe doesn’t solely belong to the void of endless black among the stars. For Tetsurou it’s frost burn, menthol invading his nose and his chest until he’s sure he’ll shatter.

“How?”

“As you know, there is not much material in the So now you’re transparent department, but I’ve thought about this a lot, so I think I have it down.”

He appreciates Kei’s restraint at the lack of an eye roll, but even in the dark, he can sense the twitch in Kei’s eyelid. “I think people who are compatible just have compatible energy. That spark everyone talks about. Some people aren’t so it feels icky.”

Kei does not appreciate his scientific breakthrough. “What?”

He rewinds a couple of steps. “Energy transfers through touch. It’s why it feels… icky to touch people. Alive people, I mean. For me. I—It’s not meant for me anymore. I’m different so it feels weird. It’s not compatible energy so you feel the oddness. Things—like the walls and stuff—they get charged with the energy of the stuff around them. Your bed, the counter, all of that.”

“My bed?”

“Yeah, your bed has your strings all over it.”

“That sounds so wrong,” Kei shudders out and closes his eyes, leaning his head against the wall. The rain has picked up, drowning out everything else but the two of them, enveloped in the shadows of Kei’s books and the peek of moonlight valiantly sailing through the storm, reaching past the windows to die on the floorboards. A brave, silent death, beaten down by the sound of the wind slapping raindrops against glass. It’s a painting, a vignette of quiet.

Kei’s breathing is even, not daring to disturb the storm raging outside. “Hmm. Tell me more about these...strings I apparently leave all over my bed.”

Tetsurou matches the sound as best he can. He’s guessing at the volume, imagines his vocal cords in his mind’s eyes, and wills them to be calm. “Over everything, really. Just by being around it, it becomes a little more yours. It soaks up who you are, how you feel.”

“Everything should be yours, then,” Kei says, “since you’re here all the time.”

Tetsurou doesn’t leave anything behind. He doesn’t own anything anymore, really, other than what is left of him, his thoughts and his words; but Kei is happy and content with that lazy smile of his he’s probably not aware he’s showing and Tetsurou is not in the business of making Kei unhappy. He’ll be the scary, creepy ghost that owns Kei's apartment and that comes out during thunderstorms.

He laughs it off and they talk for hours and hours in low voices and hushed tones while water beats around them and Tetsurou expressly does not dwell on how much he wishes he could leave something of himself behind in their shared four walls, or own something inside the apartment other than his thoughts.

Bladder pressing down on his need for sleep, Kei crawls out of bed, hands smudging his glasses. If he’d exert the effort of putting them on properly he wouldn’t have walked into a wall, but you live and you learn. Halfway to the bathroom, he stops. The window is open, curtain fluttering with sporadic gusts of wind.

Were he someone else, he’d think of stories of spirits and things from the great beyond told in the dark.

On the windowsill is Kuroo, face lax, and centered on faraway worlds. The ink of his hair blends with the shade of the almost raggedy navy fabric, shoulders slumped and curled where he hugs a single knee against his chest.

Save for now, Kuroo has always looked alive.

Splashes of moonlight dance on his skin, bursts aided by the blowing breeze, light on ivory.

Kei is half asleep, surely, to think that whatever ethereal being is perched on his windowsill is made of the same energy as the bumbling nerd leaving obscene drawings on his mirror.

Whoever, whatever it is, they are filled with melancholy seeping through their form, pools of something beyond Kei’s ability to comprehend with his sleep-addled mind in the half-lidded gaze peering up at the moon.

Kei goes back to his room with slow steps, lays back on the bed, bathroom break forgotten. Slumber pulls him back, witching hour casting a veil of untruth to his late-night sightseeing until he wakes an hour later, bladder screaming.

When Kei wakes next, fully, late night memories are cast as fleeting dreams that manage to escape him in the rays of sunshine now slanting through his blinds, body tangled up underneath covers and a blanket of something close to sadness on his shoulders.

Kei’s missing something, he knows.

It follows him when brushing his teeth, when he drops his toast butter-side down on the floor when he steps on gum on his way to class. He doesn’t have a clue what it might be.

The next couple of nights find him sleepless.

Kei tosses and turns until he gives up, flinching when his feet meet cold tile. He slumps to the living room defeated and wanting company to distract him from his lack of sleep.

Instead, he’s met with a specter.

The odd wave that chokes him is déjà vu , he knows, but the once useless factoid of its opposite lives within that moment too. A new friend with an old face, twisted and blended in mismatching, perfectly fitting parts, stumbling into an unknown place for the millionth time.

Jamais vu has never made sense until it has.  

Kuroo doesn’t register his presence at all.

He’s torn between calling out for comfort and breaking the spell that has fallen over them silently.

One more look at Kuroo and he’s set.

Kei’s sheets are as unforgiving as when he first rose.

[metalandmagi]

January Media Madness

It’s a new year, and yes I’m still keeping track of the stuff I watch and/or read. I really just like being able to keep track of everything that came out during the year, and I like to shout my thoughts into the void. And maybe someone will find something they like.

Movies!

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: Okay, not a movie, but it’s the latest musical from Starkid so I had to include it somewhere. And this time it’s a horror alien/zombie take over that causes everyone to act like they’re in a musical, and humanity’s only hope is an average guy who happens to not like musicals. That may not sound bad, BUT THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS! The plot could sort of meander at times, but it’s hilarious and also pretty dark for Starkid. If nothing else, watch it because Lauren Lopez is a goddess. 9/10

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Everyone’s favorite silly King Arthur searching for the holy grail story. I hadn’t watched this movie since I was a kid, and there was so much stuff I forgot about! And yeah it’s still pretty great. I do feel like it drags in the middle a little, but I still always enjoy the tomfoolery! 9/10

Three Identical Strangers: A documentary about a set of identical triplets who were separated at birth and the sinister intentions of the adoption agency who separated them. On top of being an interesting story, it is super thought provoking bringing up questions of scientific morality, nature vs nurture, and mental health...which does make it a little depressing. I love the way it sets up the mystery of the story, but it also makes you feel terrible for trying to plot out and guess the story of these actual human beings’ lives. So I’d recommend it to anyone who is interested in crazy stories and scientific corruption! 9/10

Venom: A classic tale of a boy and his symbiote. In which the weirdest investigative reporter in the world is possessed by an alien parasite while trying to stop a corrupt corporation from constantly murdering people. Guys, I originally never planned to see this movie. I never cared about Venom. I was never big into the Spiderman universe, but then this movie came out and everyone was saying how weird it was...and how Eddie and Venom are like a thing...so curiosity got the better of me. And I’m kind of underwhelmed. I think I would have liked it more if I never had any expectations going into it, because it really wasn’t as weird as I thought it would be. The first 30 minutes were a slog, the dialogue was clunky, the plot was very predictable and basic, and I feel like Eddie and Venom didn’t have enough interaction. But it had its moments, I get why some people love it, and I did like what I saw of the symbiote relationship, so all in all it was just..okay. Oh well. 6.5/10

Mama Mia Here We Go Again: The just as ridiculous sequel to Mama Mia, featuring more dumb plots that don’t fit together, more dumb writing, and more over the top performances. Just like the first one, it’s a silly excuse to put some ABBA songs in a movie and make you have fun, and it accomplishes that in spades. Because if you’re watching a Mama Mia movie for the “plot” or anything other than the musical numbers and silliness, you’re making a huge mistake. It is a little clunkier trying to weave two timelines together, but who cares because they’re singing Dancing Queen! As an actual movie, we all know it’s barely passable as a 6/10 but just for getting drunk with your friends and having fun it’s a 9/10

Books!

The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis: The fifth/third book in the Chronicles of Narnia in which a boy and a talking horse run away from the land of Calormen to get to Narnia...and find out about a plot to take over Narnia along the way. I know some people think this is the most interesting book in the series plot wise, and technically there is more plot...but it’s boring as hell. I really think Lewis’s normal interjections would have made it more entertaining, but he doesn’t use his author’s voice at all! Not only is it written in an incredibly circular and drawn out way (some people literally tell stories like they’re writing the bible), but it’s also SUPER RACIST and kind of sexist too. I was so excited because when the book first started I thought we were getting a canonical protagonist of color...and then he turns out to be a kidnapped white boy surrounded by “savages.” Yes we have Aravis...but I really don’t know how to feel about her. Also Bree the horse is really just an asshole, so it’s hard to like any of the characters. I did appreciate having adult Edmund and Susan around though, so it’s not a total waste. The truth is, this is the book that I could barely get through as a kid and would constantly fall asleep reading so I barely remembered anything besides the fact that I didn’t like it. 3/10

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson: In a distant future, humans are trapped on a wasteland planet where their only hope for survival are teenagers flying spaceships while fighting a mysterious alien race. Aka: local girl is constantly dumped on by society and makes friends with a talking spaceship. Okay this book definitely has its problems, but I mostly don’t care because 1. The world building is great. 2. Spensa is a fun main character. 3. All the side characters have distinguishable personalities and interactions *cough* m-bot *cough*. And 4. The plot could be predictable at times but I really liked following the mystery of it all...even if there’s some weird chosen one type of bullshit going on towards the end. It has a major season one Attack on Titan vibe with all the questions about humanity’s history and mankind uniting to fight a mysterious enemy. This is a super fun read that kept me theorizing and was also incredibly motivational. Did I like all of Sanderson’s decisions when it came to which characters died? Hell no. Do I think the government would have a lot more backlash considering its dumbass way of fighting wars? Yes. But I’d still recommend it, and I’m still looking forward to the next book! 8/10

TV Shows!

Aggretsuko: The most adorable musical comedy anime of 2018, where Retsuko, a 25 year old office worker is getting fed up with her job and copes with life by singing aggressive death metal songs...and by the way everyone’s a cute animal. I’m a little late to this party, but this show is so precious and also disturbingly accurate to real life. Retsuko is so relatable, Haida’s crush on her is well executed and not forced, there’s great working women solidarity (Gori and Washimi are the fucking queens of anime side characters) and the metal is so well integrated! Please watch this charming show and the Christmas special if you haven’t already! I NEED ANOTHER SEASON NOW! 10/10

A Series of Unfortunate Events (season 3): The final season of the Baudelaires’ tale of misery and woe. And man did they stick the landing. “But it doesn’t leave things vague enough, they didn’t leave the sugar bowl a mystery.” GOOD! I’ve had to deal with Snicket’s badly written ending to the books since 2006. I love that they explained as much as they did. The ending was bittersweet and more concrete while still delivering the message of how the world is morally gray. Also Quigley was amazing, Sunny was amazing, FERNALD WAS AMAZING! KIT WAS AMAZING! EVERYONE WAS AMAZING! And I almost cried seeing the kids in their outfits from the book covers. I wish Jacqueline was in it, but I think her character would have felt redundant with Kit in the mix. This was an amazing adaption all around, and this season did a great job at putting some of the more...difficult books on screen without it feeling out of place. Even if you haven’t read the books, I encourage anyone who likes mysteries and different forms of storytelling to suffer with the rest of us! 10/10

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K (season 1): Local overpowered psychic anime boy just wants to be ignored and blend in with society, but the universe constantly surrounds him with silly situations that cause him to use his powers. I finally got around to watching this show, and it’s hilarious. Kusuo is a great deadpan main character who is definitely ace as hell, and the English dub is actually pretty good! I don’t really want to watch the show in Japanese now because I feel like the dub does a better job at timing the comedic lines and distinguishing everyone’s thoughts. So now I’m upset that the second season hasn’t been dubbed (thanks Netflix). But yeah it’s a great silly show to binge watch. 10/10

Community: The misadventures of a wacky study group going to the world’s worst community college. You know, the one with all the memes? Okay, I know I’m the last one to watch this and  technically I still have a season and a half left at this point, but I thought I’d include it anyway. This show is such a wild ride that I don’t even know what to think about it anymore. The first two seasons were pretty average with a few absolutely brilliant episodes thrown in. And then...the paintball episodes happened, and the show just became amazing. I do have a lot of questions though....like if the main character is a lawyer (sort of), why does he never sue the dean for sexual harassment? Why does Pierce, the resident old, sexist, racist, problematic baby boomer have an “arc” centered around a logical fallacy. No one wants to hang out with him because he’s terrible, but he’s upset because he feels left out and constantly does terrible things to get back at them? I literally almost dropped the show because I couldn’t take him anymore, and then the writers just magically dial him back in his last seasons...which I’m thankful for. And I don’t even know where to being with Chang. BUT this show is a testament to creative writing and innovative meta ways to tell stories. The rest of the study group is made up of hilarious well balanced characters that all have their distinct broken but quirky personalities. And I love them all...except Pierce. So, even though I haven’t finished it, I’d give it an 8.5/10 so far.

Superstore: A sitcom about the daily struggles of workers in a W*lmart-esque superstore. I finally caught up to it, and it’s still fine. It’s not great, but not terrible either. It is incredibly accurate though, coming from someone who works retail. The best parts of the show are the scene transitions because they show all the things customers are doing in the store. And most of the time I just nod and go “yeah I’ve seen that.” This is one of those shows to have on for the sake of just having something on. It has its moments. 7/10

Honorable Mentions

Because these are the reasons why I didn’t really read much this month...or watch many movies.

YOUNG JUSTICE is officially back with the long awaited season 3. And it’s still pretty great, but man I wish I had rewatched the original series.

Netflix released the Taylor Swift Reputation stadium performance. So now you all know how much of a slut for Taylor Swift I am. I can’t help it if her latest album is basically Captive Prince the musical!

The Masked Singer (US version) is dragging me into a spiral of conspiracy theories. Please watch this ridiculous reality show where celebrities wear elaborate costumes and a super annoying judging panel tries to guess who they are. I’m in hell, because this show is set up terribly, but I also don’t want to leave.

Life is Strange 2: episode 2 was finally released. And I’m actually loving it. These games have a special place in my heart for some reason.

New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe came out and I hate myself for buying these stupid games because they consume all my time, and I don’t even really like them.

[theseventhhex]

Phoebe Bridgers Interview

Phoebe Bridgers

Photo by Frank Ockenfels

Don't let the sombre tone of her music fool you: Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers has a sunny nature. Bridgers grew up in the rose-coloured city of Pasadena, attending the prestigious Los Angeles County High School for the Arts to study music. From an early age, she found encouragement from a close-knit artistic community of friends and family to follow her dreams. Throughout her debut release, ‘Stranger in the Alps’, there is a delicate balance to her work, a dance between disguised narratives and earnest emotions, between whispers and shouts. Phoebe’s stories unfold through specific, evocative imagery sung in her subtle confessional style. With a desire to form an album to completely represent who she is, these songs are excpetional reminders of what she set out to do… We talk to Phoebe Bridgers about serial killers, humour as a coping mechanism and an encounter with a whole foods employee…

TSH: There are a variety of topics covered with your debut release, including obsession and heartbreak, as well as looking into one’s own mortality...

Phoebe: Yeah, I guess mortality is just one of those topics that people get obsessed with before they die and often throughout life. It’s certainly something that plays on my mind. Also, pulling from heartbreak and death is always something that allows me to say a lot. Since this was my first record, I kind of wanted to cover subject matter that I haven’t really written about before, which is why I touched on mortality. I feel like I tend to write whatever I’m feeling - I don’t really push my music into a certain direction.

TSH: The record also details your journey from high school all the way up until the recent election...

Phoebe: Yeah, absolutely. I feel song by song this record is certainly like a snapshot in time for me. It’s nice for me to look at this record and know that it takes me back to different times in my life. For example, a song like ‘Smoke Signals’ feels so specific to me even now, simply because it’s just over a year old.

TSH: Does learning from others during the shaping of a record aid you in particular?

Phoebe: Absolutely. For me, I especially like working with producers who can give me new knowledge. I’d previously worked with Ryan Adams, but I didn’t want to make a similar body of work as before so having Tony Borg to assist me with his vast knowledge of guitars and synthesisers was so cool. I like to learn from others and Tony helped me to make some really interesting choices, alongside his killer production. Part of the reason why the album has so much variety is down to Tony.

TSH: The response from listeners for your songwriting must be encouraging too…

Phoebe: Yeah, it’s been so cool. I actually appreciate others connecting with my music more than me as an artist taking something away from my own music. It’s funny because the lyrics for ‘Smoke Signals’ are on this one website and people are praising me for this song, giving me credit and I’ve never thought about the song in such a way. I actually had that song compared to classic poems and Shakespeare, haha! It’s kind of crazy!

TSH: Tell us more about the song ‘Scott Street’ being about drinking beer outside…

Phoebe: Haha! Yeah, that track takes me back to a time and place, for sure. Besides I really don’t like warm beer. That one, like many other songs is about a time in my life where there was not a lot going on in my day to day routine. It was a time when I was slightly wayward and just thinking about life a lot.

TSH: What ideas did you have in mind with your version of ‘You Missed My Heart’?

Phoebe: I definitely wanted it to be stripped back. It’s a Mark Kozelek song, which he released under Sun Kil Moon. There’s a live recording of it somewhere, and when I saw him play it live the guitar arrangement just blew me away. It’s so complex and the fingerpicking is amazing. However, the record version is a bouncy synth song! Anyhow, I wanted to basically transpose the guitar part that I heard live to piano. That song was one of the quickest recordings I’ve done and I’m so happy with it.

TSH: You just mentioned Mark Kozelek, who often writes about serial killers and you’ve also gone down the serial killer rabbit hole in recent times...

Phoebe: Ha! Yes, I did. Some of my favourite artists have serial killer songs: Elliott Smith has one and so does Sufjan Stevens, and Mark Kozelek has a few too. It was really interesting finding out more about the minds of serial killers. After a while, you start to feel really disturbed and conflicted. It kind of really consumes you in an odd way.

TSH: Which of the serial killers did you find to be most harrowing and disturbing?

Phoebe: I found Jeffrey Dahmer to be the most disturbing - his story really shook me. As for Gacy and Bundy, I think they were just idiots. But yeah, Dahmer really creeped me out because he was just as curious as everyone else about what happened to his brain and what made him the way that he is. There are a couple of interviews where he’s getting super analytical, which is quite chilling, and he’s also one of the only ones to actually apologise for his actions whilst trying to figure himself out. It was weird for me to see him have even a tiny bit of grasp on what he did, yet still have done it.

TSH: Which attributes of touring do you mostly admire?

Phoebe: I think getting to meet more and more people who play music is among the most rewarding aspects of being on this journey. I meet a lot other musicians on tour, which is cool. It’s like having a little community of artists that respects each other - I really like that.

TSH: Is the worst part of touring having to leave your pug behind?

Phoebe: Oh, that is the most depressing element, having to leave my dog behind. It makes me super sad.

TSH: Is humour still a preferred coping mechanism for yourself?

Phoebe: I really do lean on humour to help me at times. I often get made fun of a lot for being nervous. When I’m under pressure, I end up sounding like a surf girl form Santa Monica. I end up sounding funnier and not like me - I get really reserved. Even though I’m the opposite with my really close friends. When I’m with my close friends I end up getting lazy, quiet and deep in my own head. Humour is mostly beneficial when I meet someone for the first or second time. I tend to just joke and make the other person realise that I’m not the type of person that’s brooding every day with black coffee and writing sad songs.

TSH: Did you manage to find a worthy podcast, since you were searching?

Phoebe: Oh yes! The one that blew my mind and I listened to twice was S-Town. That podcast is so artful and thoughtful. I just never thought anyone could do anything like that. It’s definitely my number one recommendation.

TSH: You recently got recognised by 'a cute whole foods employee' with whom you had a wholesome interaction with and then he caught you eating from the hot food bar with your hands…

Phoebe: That is a true story, ha! It happened in Salt Lake City where this guy recognised me at the front of store. I was getting stuff from the hot food bar, and as I always do, I started filling my plate, which is when this guy asked me on a date. Anyhow, he’s asks me if I’d like to get drinks together, but when I answered I had a load of food in my mouth! I had to apologise for answering with a mouthful, haha! I told him I was so sorry for eating from the bar, ha! Besides, I was flying out at 6am the next day so I couldn’t go out with him unfortunately.

TSH: How do you stay motivated in your free time?

Phoebe: I think ritual is really important to me. I don’t like to let myself stay in bed all day or be drunk all the time, it’s not good for my routine, especially when I’m touring. It’s important to go for a walk on tour and move your body, instead of just sleeping in a coffin all the time. I’m also trying to do the same when I’m at home: wake up early and exercise.

TSH: You’ve previously mentioned ‘it feels like I haven't told the universe what I am yet’, does this type of perspective still drive your music?

Phoebe: It does. I’m already writing songs that I know are going to be on my next record and I constantly have it in my mind as to what the next step will be. Maybe I’ll go down a more electro route or even have more folkier aspects. I’ve been wondering a lot. I feel like I have a lot more to say and a lot more exploring to do relating to who I am. I’m just excited to progress, besides I get to do things my way, which is so cool.

Phoebe Bridgers - “Motion Sickness”

Stranger in the Alps

[sophies-surveys]

567.

Then and now. Answers from my first ever survey from December 2013 and my answers today.

What is the last thing you said to the person you like? Then: I just told him that I’d see him later. Now: “I love you too”

How old will you be on your next birthday? Then: 21. Finally. Now: 24.

Are you one of those people who just doesn’t care? Then: No, I care. Now: Same. I care.

Did anything “cute” happen today? Then: yes, my kittens behaved adorably haha Now: Not really lol.

Who are you more like, mom or dad? Then: my dad. Now: Idk. I see bits of both in me. Maybe even more of my mom now.

Name 8 things that make you happy: Then: getting a home cooked meal, my kittens, sunny days, getting my paycheck, surprise visits from my best friends, the feeling of accomplishment after hard work, having time to play tennis, bonding moments with my favorite person in the world- my grandma. Now: Days off, going hiking, weekend visits from my boyfriend, visiting my family, cooking, still the feeling of accomplishment after hard work/getting something done, getting free stuff, and Saturday nights with my cohort.

When was the last time you had seafood? Then: I had some shrimp last night. Now: I can’t remember. I might have had some fish several weeks ago.

Have you ever been in a love triangle? Then: ehh, not really. Now: No?

How bad are your hangovers? Then: I’ve never really had a bad hangover. Now: Still not had a bad one.

Do you think Taco Bell is nasty? Then: kind of, yes. Now: No, but it’s not my favorite.

The last time you saw your best friend, what did you do? Then: I have three best friends. The last time I was with Janelle we were in the emergency room with her son, who was sick. The last time I saw Brianna, we were visiting Abby, our other best friend. Now: Holy crap. I barely talk to Janey and Abby any more. I’d probably consider my boyfriend my best friend now lol. Last time we were together we stayed the night together and then I had to get up in the morning to go back home and he had to go to work. 

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn’t? Then: god yes. Now: Yes.

Say something to someone without stating names: Then: I wish you had more time for me. Now: I feel like you don’t care if we’re friends anymore..

When was the last time you smoked pot? Then: January Now: ^^^ lol that same time. January 2013.

What jewelry are you wearing? Then: I’m wearing the necklace I inherited from Ava. And my watch that I just got for Christmas. Now: None.

Someone tells you that you deserve better than the person you currently have a thing for. You say? Then: I think he’s wonderful. So I’d appreciate it if you kept your thoughts to yourself. Now: You’re wrong.

Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? Then: hmm. Haley, perhaps? Now: No idea.

What’s an inanimate object in your house that holds significance for you, and why do you find it so significant? Then: My jewelry box. It used to belong to my aunt, then it belonged to Ava, and now it belongs to me. Now: Same thing,

What’s one thing that you really want to do? Then: I kinda want to spend some time with Bri. Now: Go home. See my boyfriend and my family and not worry about work or school or money or anything.

Worst thing you’ve experienced in the last year? Then: Losing Ava. Now: The past year hasn’t been bad. I guess it would just be stressing out about money and school.

What’s bothering you? Then: Nothing really at the moment. Now: I feel like I’m never going to get through this last semester of classes. I’m stressed about money, and about trying to move.

What are you doing tomorrow? Then: Maybe going on a date with Dominic :D we might postpone that until Saturday though, I’m not sure. Now: Going to work.

How long have you known the last person you spoke on the phone to? Then: about 6 and a half years. Now: 7 years.

Are tattoos a turn on? Then: No, not for me. Now: Nope.

When someone calls you in the middle of the night, do you remember the conversation? Then: Yes. It might be a hazy memory at first, but it’ll come back to me. Now: Yes.

What made your day? Then: Nothing specifically. I guess just the fact that it’s a well earned lazy day and I’m glad not to have to go anywhere or do anything if I don’t want to haha Now: Nothing.

When was the last time you saw your father? Then: a few hours ago. Now: About 2 weeks ago?

What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? Then: Flinstones vitamins! Now: Obviously that answer is not going to change... Flinstones.

Spill it. What is on your mind? Then: I’m thinking about what day this week I want to go shopping, and about the date with Dominic, what that will be like… Now: How cute my previous answer was because that date went damn well and I’ve been dating him ever since. Also I need to go grocery shopping today and get some work done.

Is the last person you texted someone who is close to you? Then: she’s my best friend. or one of the 3 anyway. Now: Yes. My boyfriend.

Why do you think so many people are scared of spiders? Then: Because they’re ugly and hairy and have a lot of legs and eyes and can sneak up on you. Now: Same. And some are poisonous.

Two days from now, where will you be? Then: Maybe out with Dom. Maybe still at home. Who knows? Here: Or around town anyway.

Do you honestly speak your mind no matter what? Then: No. There is a time to speak up and there is a time to hold your tongue. I can appreciate both. Now: Same.

If someone you wanted before, came back now, would you take them? Then: No. Now: No.

You’re drunk, who’d take care of you? Then: Hopefully whatever friend I’m with. Now: Probably Dom.

Do you know someone who is CONSTANTLY texting? Then: yes. It seems like everyone is constantly texting these days. Now: Idk if they’re texting but most everyone seems to always be messing around on their phone.

Are you happier now or in summer? Then: Now. Now: I’ll probably be happier this summer lol.

What do you miss most about your past? Then: Some of the people who were there with me. Now: Yeah, some of the people I was close with, some of my family members who were still around, and just the fact that it was a simpler time when I was younger and didn’t have to worry about money, bills, where I’m going to live and whatnot.

What do you say during awkward silences? Then: Nothing..? Because it’s silent? lol. Now: ^^

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? Then: No. Now: Not really.

What are some ways you cope with stress? Then: Eat, I’m a stress eater haha. Other than that, I don’t know… vent to a friend, suck it up and deal with it… ? Now: Eating, venting, and also running/exercising.

How do you get your morning energy? Then: It’s natural, I guess. I’ve never really had a problem being energized in the morning. Now: By having a good night’s sleep lol.

Would you date a smoker? Then: I’d rather not but, eh, I guess it’s not a dealbreaker for me. Now: Probably not.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn't right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? Then: I don’t think I would. I’m too much of a commitment-phobe as it is to settle. I can’t really think of anyone off the top of my head who does. Now: No, I still don’t think I would. I don’t think any of my friends are in relationships just so they “have someone to sleep with at night,” but I do have a lot of friends actually that I feel are trying to either jump into a relationship or jump into getting married because they think they should be there at that point in their life and I think they’re more eager to be someone who is in a relationship or have a wedding and be someone who is married than they are eager to actually spend their life with that other person. It seems like it’s more about being able to claim they’re in a relationship, being able to have a wedding, and being able to say they’re married and hit that milestone than it is about actually living your life with that other person and I think that’s foolish. Idk if that makes sense.

Do you have any favorite cancelled TV shows? Then: Not really. Now: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The Golden Girls. 

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? Then: Very doubtful, I think. Now: Lol welp. Been there, done that.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? Then: lol no. Now: No.

Facebook vs. Twitter: Which social media site do you prefer? Then: Facebook. I don’t have a twitter. Now: ^^ Same.

Have you ever found unfavorable information about someone on Google? Do you think the internet could damage your reputation? Then: Creepy as it is, I found out my high school boyfriend’s father is a sex offender through Google. Scary. The internet can definitely damage reputations. Now: Whoa I forgot about that honestly ^^. 

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? Then: quite picky. Now: Picky.

What do you hate most about moving? Then: Packing and cleaning all your stuff. Now: Figuring out the logistics of it all, like making sure you can get in the new place by the time you leave the old place. Figuring out how to move the big stuff like beds and couches. I need help physically moving those things and I also need some other method of transport because my Prius is not going to do it. 

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Then: Can be. Now: In theory, it is, but I actually would prefer a bed.

Do you have an Ebay account? Then: No. Now: No.

Would you tell someone the truth if you knew it would hurt them? Then: Yes. But I guess it depends. Now: Depends.

What do you think about hookah? Have you ever done it? Then: I’ve done it and I really like it. I think it’s fine as long as you don’t do it regularly, then it’s just too much.. Now: Haven’t done it years, probably wouldn’t again.

Do you prefer shopping alone or with other people? Then: Either. Now: Depends. If I’m looking to buy clothes for myself, alone is honestly better. Christmas shopping and things like that are more fun with other people.

Can you be too old to enjoy something? Then: Yes. Now: Yeah.

What have your roommate experiences been like? Then: Pretty good. For the most part, I’ve only lived with people I know. We get on each other’s nerves sometimes but it hasn’t been too bad. I’ve never had a truly bad experience. Now: Haha. Last year I lived with people I didn’t know ahead of time for the first time in my life and it was terrible. They were absolutely slobs, and I hated being around them. I’ve got wonderful roommates now that I’ll be sad to leave, but then I knew them before moving in.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? Then: No. Now: No.

In your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? Then: I guess so, depends on the circumstances. Now: Yeah, sure.

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #23: Emails.

Written: 1/17/2017

From: SwimMark87@Email.com

To: JazzMan2237@Email.com

Subject: Hello!

Hey there! I saw your post about wanting somebody to talk to, whats up? Should I tell you a little bit about myself? I’ve never done this before. I used to live in the states and I mostly talked to people face to face, I was kind of popular, but out here its so lonely. I decided to study abroad and its great, I’m learning so much about biology! Its just so lonely here, I don’t know anybody, so I thought I’d reach out to you, you seem like a neat guy!

I have a lot of interests, mainly biology (duh), but I don’t want to talk about that much. I spend most of my time in class or studying, and its like when my dad would come home from work (he was a plummer, may he rest in peace) and would refuse to fix our sinks or toilets, insisting that he didn’t want to work at home. I never understood that but I guess I’m feeling the same way with school! Was that too much to say? Anyways, my other interests are jazz (like you), and I mostly listen to a lot of Ornette Coleman, but I’m also very interested in American football (go Eagles!), the mafia (Godfather!), and well plenty of things. Maybe you can expose me to new interests, maybe that’s asking too much…

It said online that you’re from Hanoi, what’s it like there? Is it different from here? Where is it? What kind of jazz do you like? I can’t wait to get to know you!

From: JazzMan2237@Email.com

To: SwimMark87@Email.com

Subject: Re: Hello!

Hello.

It must be lonely in a foreign country, where are you currently? Biology sounds interesting, its a shame you don’t want to talk about it, but I understand.

Your dad sounds like an interesting man, don’t worry about saying too much, its fine. Its fine.

Hm, it seems we don’t have much in common except for jazz. To answer your question I mostly listen to a lot of Mingus, Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, standard stuff. I’m more interested in playing, and although I’m alright with an upright bass I can go crazy on the piano. I could send you some audio files of me playing if you want.

If you’re curious about Hanoi you can just spend a couple minutes looking it up online.

Why is your name SwimMark, but none of your interests are relating to swimming? Also, are you 29? If so, then why are you in college so late?

If you want to know any of my other, non-jazz, interests here they are:

Bird watching, natural disasters, programming, and horror movies.

Till we speak again.

From: SwimMark87@Email.com

To: JazzMan2237@Email.com

Subject: Re: Re: Hello!

Yeah its super lonely, I’m in Denmark and I’ve been freezing my balls off! Is that too crass? Tell me if I’m being to crass, some people here don’t like the way I speak but I’m a city boy at heart! I would tell you the college, but I’d like to get to know you first! Plus, I guess its not really important anyways, like it would be like saying my address or explaining my house, its just the place where I live, eat, shit, and study. Tell me if I’m too crass. And I guess you didn’t ask about my college, but I’ll leave that there just in case you were curious.

My dad was an interesting man, even more than I made him sound! He was a plummer mostly to pay the bills, but he had a side hobby of making model trains sets, the ones with the little towns around them, but he didn’t do it because he was interested in trains themselves, he was a cowboy at heart. He’d build these little western towns, with saloons, horses, indians, all of it, and would usually stage these little dramas, it was neat to see when I was a kid. Sometimes he would have a little plastic woman, tied up in twine, on the tracks and the train would come and hit her, but sometimes when he did this he would pull her off in just the nick of time. Another time he had this bridge constructed and had a train run over it, but he had fire crackers at the base that sent the whole thing crashing down into the little model town below it. Sometimes he would wear a sheriff’s badge when he built his towns, but sometimes, when he was in a dastardly mood, he would usually resort to those antics I described, he was a neat man.

Wow, I didn’t know you played! That sounds super neat, I would love it if you sent me over some of your solos! I haven’t listened to those other artists, and honestly I have only listened to a single Coleman record, it was one that my mom would put on when dad would disappear into his train room. I don’t really listen to jazz other than that, and, honestly, I can’t even remember the name of the album. It was white and he was holding a saxophone I think. I’m sorry for lying, I hope that doesn’t give you a bad impression of me!

I looked up Hanoi, it looks beautiful!

And on the swim mark thing, its… I probably should have explained that in the first email, but its just weird to bring up. Its actually my brothers old email, he was significantly older than me, we were 9 years apart, but he was always a role model in my life. He got a scholarship for water polo, and he was unstoppable! But, unfortunately, sadly, he was killed by a drunk driver some time ago (may you rest in peace Mark). I started using his email when I found a post it note of his that had the password, it was like a coping thing. I mostly just use it when I’m dealing with strangers online, I know its weird, its pathetic. Please don’t think bad of me!!!

Wow, those are neat interests, what are your favorite horror films? I once saw Missed Connections, but the story was to gross for me, I didn’t like watching it. Horror is a little scary for me, but I could try some other movies if you have recommendations!

From: JazzMan2237@Email.com

To: SwimMark87@Email.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hello!

Wow, Denmark, that seems nice.

Your dad sounds like an interesting man, don’t worry about saying too much, its fine. Its fine.

I’ll attach an audio file of a piano solo I did last night, check it out. Don’t feel bad about not listening to much jazz, its no problem.

Hanoi is beautiful.

Its a shame about your brother, I do not judge.

Missed Connections was pretty silly, if you couldn’t watch it then I wouldn’t really recommend anything else. Don’t feel obligated to like a genre.

Check out that audio file I attached.

Till we speak again.

From: SwimMark87@Email.com

To: JazzMan2237@Email.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello!

Denmark IS nice, but man is it cold and lonely. Are you fine with me being crass? You didn’t mention anything about it so you must be fine, right? Honestly, I kind of get bullied here, I’m not actually that happy here. Like its a nice country and all, looks great, but I don’t know… Its hard to fit in sometimes, and I just keep saying the wrong things. I guess thats also why I used my brother’s email for this pen pal thing, like it made me feel not as much of a loser. He was the cool one, not me. I didn’t really have any friends back in the states… that’s another reason why I had to get a pen pal. I know I know, I’m pathetic! I’m sorry that I keep lying but its hard for me! I was worrying that if I was myself then I’d just get rejected again, please don’t think negatively towards me because of this, I’m just a lonely soul.

I’ll listen to that solo tonight! Thanks for being so cool about me lying about jazz, at least I’ll be willing to get into the subject! I’ll try to listen to your song when I’m studying, I remember in grade school one of my teachers would play classical music to help us study better, so I imagine it would be like the same thing, right?

I won’t try horror movies then, thanks for the heads up! What other movies do you like, I know I said this before but I really love mafia movies, I love the way how they live so freely and don’t take shit from anybody. Have you ever seen mob flicks? I imagine they might not be too popular outside of the states. I also really like the suits too, and their manliness, like why don’t people wear suits all the time anymore, what happened to that? What happened to that old era of masculinity, like I feel like sometimes I was born in the wrong generation.

What is your family like? I’d love to learn more about you, its great that we’re becoming friends!

Till we speak again, haha!

From: FuckYou372638@Email.com

To: JazzMan2237@Email.com

Subject: Fuck you!

What’d you do to my computer asshole! I have to type this shit out in the library! Did you change the password to my brothers email? I thought we were friends you cock sucker!

From: LadyBoisonberry284@Email.com

To: SwimMark87@Email.com

Subject: Hello from Cali!

Hey there, I saw your post online and you seemed like an interesting person! Let me tell you a little bit about myself!

I live in California over in the states, its always bright and sunny here and I’m right by the beach! However, I do like to go on trips and I’m kind of a nut for hiking! I also like to go out and pick berries, and I’ve been to all sorts of different farms that have different berries, and I put jam on almost anything. Yeah, I’m a little weird :)  If we become friends I can send you jams through the mail if you’re interested! I also sometimes sing, but not in front of people! I’m a little shy about those things, but in general I’m a pretty out going person! I decided to try to do this pen pal thing because I wanted to know what its like in different parts of the world, what’s Vietnam like?

I hope you choose to respond so we can get to know each other, I hope we become good friends, Mark.

From: FuckYou372638@Email.com

To: JazzMan2237@Email.com

Subject: What did you do?

Seriously, what the fuck did you do to my computer? What were those images? Honestly I don’t care about my laptop being broken, or even about my brother’s email, I just want to know what’s happening. Every time I close my eyes I see those things. Its hard to sleep. Every time I can sleep its just constant nightmares. My hair and nails are falling out, I keep getting random nosebleeds, why did you do this to me? What’s happening? What was that noise?

From: FuckYou372638@Email.com

To: SwimMark87@Email.com

Subject: What did you do?

Seriously, what the fuck did you do to my computer? What were those images? Honestly I don’t care about my laptop being broken, or even about my brother’s email, I just want to know what’s happening. Every time I close my eyes I see those things. Its hard to sleep. Every time I can sleep its just constant nightmares. My hair and nails are falling out, I keep getting random nosebleeds, why did you do this to me? What’s happening? What was that noise?

From: SwimMark87@Email.com

To: LadyBoisonberry284@Email.com

Subject: Hello from Hanoi!

Wow, California sounds nice!

I would love some sunlight, but its been raining here a lot.

I love the outdoors too, I often swim, but I also love exploring the jungle. I’ve taken a lot of photographs of the hiking trails around here, would you be interested in seeing them? I could send them to you, it would be no problem.

Vietnam is beautiful, I don’t know if it would compare to the states though. Maybe we could compare photographs.

I would love it if you sent me jam sometimes, I’m always willing to try neat foods.

Till we speak again.

From: LadyBoisonberry284@Email.com

To: SwimMark87@Email.com

Subject: Re: Hello from Hanoi!

Its a shame that its so gloomy over there, but if it makes you feel better there are a lot of overcast days out here on the coast too! It’s a shame its gotta rain though, but sometimes that’s a nice thing, you always have to look at the bright side. At least, that’s my philosophy! What are your personal philosophies? I also believe that people shouldn’t burn bridges, and that its always important to explore!

Honestly, I do live on the beach but I really don’t swim as often as I’d like to, the beach is mostly cold over here :(  It’s neat that you have jungle right by you, that sounds so exotic! All we got are “foothills”, I know they sound so lame! They can actually be quite nice, and when they’re not enough we have mountains, which are beautiful no matter where you are in the world. I would love to see those pictures you have of the jungle! Maybe we could compare ours? I don’t really have any of my own, I’ve always felt like if I wanted the view I should go out and see it in person, but I can’t do that with jungles.

I won’t send jam for a little while though, I still gotta know you better! You’re a quiet one, but that’s okay. I have a son who is pretty introverted too, but I’ll probably break that shell eventually. I’ve been told by friends before that I can be chatty, so I’ll try not to write too much until you’re ready for that :)

What are your other interests, do you have any neat stories? I’d love to get to know you better. If you need help breaking the ice I can start with a story of my own:

One time, when I was about 14 or 15, I was hiking with a couple of my friends and we decided to go off trail because we thought there was a swimming hole nearby. I bet you know where this story is going to go! We never found the hole, instead we were wandering around in the woods for hours until we realized we were lost. We tried to retrace our steps, but we only went in circles, and we thought about calling for help, but one of my friends had to meet her boyfriend later that night and would allow it. Aren’t teenagers dumb? Anyways, she rushes off in a random direction and we had no choice but to follow her, and the whole time we are worried that we’re going to die, or that a bear would get us, but after a couple of minutes of walking guess where we ended up? At the swimming hole we were looking for! There was an older couple there, swimming nude, but after embarrassments they helped us find our way back to the trail, they were so nice! Even though the experience was scary at the time, it gave me a sort of thrill. Now I hike all the time!

I can’t wait to see your pictures!