#getting highkey emotional over two pixel men? more likely than you think

[sparrow-in-boots]

Thoughts on DesClay~? :3

Finally, my time has come >:D

Goodness me, how do I even start. I’ve fixated on these two for like nine years now, they are an intrinsic part of my personality now. Would not be who I am today without them. This is my permanent damage brainrot and I don’t regret a second of it. I could end this on a “Immaculate shit, flawless, 10000/10″ but why would I when I can just be an unhinged neurodivergent on main?

Clay? Dead from the start of the games, existing only as an impossible program in a machine that at that point in the franchise should not be able to preserve a conscience like that. My dude did that on his own, holy shit?? Literally everyone underestimated him, even to the end, even past his death, that shit eats me up alive!!! Yknow who else was? Desmond, that’s who! I mean, he gets proof his parents were right after all and what does he do? “Yeah sorry about that, but I’m in 100% now.” No reluctant hero shtick, he gets it and he’s on the job now. He takes it in stride even! He only doesn’t stand for being treated badly, especially when it’s unwarranted, and he stands up when others are treated badly too. Clay especially!

Also, the fact that together they are such a powerhouse duo?? Clay might have figured out how to do the memory AI upload, but it was only thanks to Desmond finding his clues and piecing it all together. Without that collaboration, they wouldn’t have even met and Desmond would likely not have recovered from that coma. But also, the fact that Clay is present through those clues since like day 1?? The flashes of them Desmond saw when he slept, then fully seeing them before escaping Abstergo and recognizing them on the Animus 2.0, both a warning and a promise. Then Desmond starts to unravel the Truth and those tidbits of memories from Clay, and the way he reaches out to him in ACB, that “wait, don’t go!”, end meeee!!!!

And then Revelations comes in and Clay is there, a bit harsh but still guiding Desmond along, supporting him, saving him again? The way they interact, Desmond a bit hesitant, unsure how to proceed, but Clay fully with no fucks to give and speaking his mind in his own way. Just, peak “I’m already dead, why should I care what anyone thinks of me?” and “You’ve been on my mind for months, and now you’re here and I just realized I barely know you” energy. To be fair, AC2 and AB set up different expectations about how Clay would be, but yeah I can see this for him in a way. Genuinely wish they had more scenes together, cus boy, the amount of existential talks they could have had together? Just two bros, chilling on the beach, talking about the brotherood, their lives, the universe and everything? If I remember right, Desmond’s narration over his memories are meant to be him talking to Clay, and I can just imagine them discussing those memories, trading stories and thoughts and opinions. Litterally so many missed opportunities there, smfh.

Can we talk about the whole theme of passing the torch on Revelations though? That’s the main theme there, how in life you have to know when to stop and let the younger generations pick up the fight, when enough is enough, when you’re living a life you were handed instead of the one you chose, and when to choose to pick up someone else’s torch not because you’re supposed to but because it’s the right thing to do. Written large, that’s the theme with Altair-Ezio-Desmond, but that’s also the kind of relationship Desmond and Clay have. Clay gave his life twice so Desmond would have the chance to see this whole chain through history to its conclusion. It’s not what he wanted, he has his regrets and nobody wants to be a stepping stone in someone else’s story, History with the capital H won’t remember him, after all. But he didn’t have much of a choice there. Except, he could have chosen to take Desmond’s body instead, could have let him be lost in that coma, but he chose not to at the end. He just, passed the torch over to Desmond, it’s his turn.

And dear fuck does Desmond carry that torch. He stands up to him and his memory, he brought him up like a cautionary tale before but now he speaks solemnly and with respect about Clay, he reflects on the memories he received from him (which makes it sorta canon that the Los Archives DLC was someting Desmond had to go through on his way out of the Black Room), he even starts making an audio log!! Yknow, like Clay did? Fuck, I need a minute--

By the way, I cannot shut the fuck up about the pictures Desmond took on his phone so I will not <3 There are only pictures since Turin, so I assume they gave him that phone pretty early cus there’s a team picture there. There’s pictures of the sky, him standing on the beaches of Rio and drinking a caipirinha, some of the forest and even a kitten he must have met on a walk or something. Good vibes only, small tidbits of life that matter and, that makes living worthwhile, and reminds him of why he’s doing all this.

Sure, getting thrown in a coma after murdering your possible crush will Fuck Up a guy. But you’re telling me that after seeing his two ancestors, the people whose memories he almost lost himself in, die or retire, and then seeing Clay give his life again for him, and then seeing what the solar flare will cause, AND THEN seeing all the possible other lives he could have had because of the Calculations, Desmond didn’t start to get existential? He’s not stupid, he can tell time is running out, so might as well save some mementos while he still can. Leave his own paintings on the wall, if you will :’)

In short, two guys going through an insane amount of bullshit, impossibly meeting after so long and bonding through the shared trauma and despite their designated roles in a play they had no say in, caring for each other and being there for each other when they most needed someone (even if only as a name without a face or personality to attatch to), and then living on because they left such a deep mark on each other, becoming a permanent part of each other and their legacies. What is a man but the sum of his memories? We are the stories we live, the tales we tell ourselves.