#gettingtoooldforthisshit

[yuuuuuuur]

8.31.2018 #Dayone #Ezoo #Edm #Edmfestival #Jauz #Marshmello #MelloGang #PLUR #Gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Electric Zoo Festival) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnRMeQbBSe6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qnh6om4oc89i

[chickensarentcheap]

Tyler stuff :) NSFW mention

@innerpaperexpertcloud​, @tragiclyhip​, @secretaryunpaid​

The wife knows exactly what she wants and how much of it. Which is why I’m all the way over here instead of helping her.  I’m just here to carry heavy shit, keep her company, and get things off the high shelves. Old bloke in the pic has just walked up to her and started mansplaining. Don’t do it, mate. Don’t do it.  At least not if you like your balls attached to your body.

After thirteen years, we don’t put much effort into our flirting game anymore. I mean, we already landed each other.  Neither of us are going anywhere. 

But I appreciate the effort to get into my pants, babe ;)

I came home with cupcakes, but they were all sold out of her favourite kind and when your wife is eight months pregnant and hormonal AF,  no excuse or explanation is acceptable.   Right now she’s in shock.  Give it a few seconds and she’ll burst into tears. 

I’m no rookie.

#sendhelp

Now this is some quality entertainment right here

That is NOT water in that glass

#longdaywiththekidsbabe?

A little Zoom time for me and the missus.  Not expected to be gone long, but it still sucks being away from her and the hooligans.  God she’s cute.

#homesick  #gettingtoooldforthisshit

A fancy night out with a client and his spouse.  He’s getting a little too close to mine for my liking. 

#dontmakemebeatyourass #whatabeauty

She’s playing the parts of mummy bunny and baby bunny number one.  I have to be everyone else. And I’m expected to do different voices for each. Anything less is unacceptable.

*cracks knuckles* Let’s do this.

It’s going to take her ten minutes just to slide off that stool.

#readytopop

Way back when:  Just under a year into my recovery from that douche bag Nathan.  I was finally given the green light to completely weight bare on my right leg and told to try and walk without crutches or the cane.   Little miss and I would take strolls together.  All the way down to the end of the road to check the mail and back again.  Took forever.  But she didn’t give a shit how slow moving I was. She just sat in her stroller, looking cute and babbling and giggling away.

Some time on the waves with The Ginger

“Dad! You gotta come and see Mac!”

*heads outside, thinking the hairy old bloke got into some messy shit or got bitten by something or is eating goat shit again or has gone toe to toe with a kangaroo*

So that’s where my new Ray -Bans went. 

#heisstylin’tho

One of the days I’ve feared has finally come.  Where teenage boys, young men, and even OLDER men are coming onto my baby girl.  When I’m in close enough vicinity to hear and see them.

I’m going to be busting a lot of heads.

She’s TWELVE. 

GROWN  MEN are flirting with her and trying to pick her up.

#Iwillkillyou

My wife: “If you’re going to take a picture of me in a bathing suit, take it while I’m lying down. Things spread out and I look flatter and skinnier that way.”

Just for that, I’m taking a picture of her butt ass naked later.

Added bonus: cute kid in cool shades

She’s just standing there. Watching me. With that expression on her face.

I don’t know what I did, but I feel like I should just start apologizing and hope for the best.

#hotwife #whopissedinhercornflakes?

Esme: “TJ, why is the snowman’s arm so low?”

TJ: “That’s not his arm, mumma. That’s his dick.”

Long awkward silence. The wife staring at me.

TJ:  “And I didn’t put it there. Dad did.”

#threwmerightunderthebus #outofthewill

Me:  What’s up your ass this morning?

Her:  You cheated on me last night.

Me: What the hell are you talking about? I was home all night.  With you.

Her:  In my dream.  You banged another woman.  I kicked you in the balls and made you cry.  But I’m still mad at you.

Me: (unfazed, drying off from a shower, cheekily waving my cock at her). Would something else up your ass cheer you up?

[therealdustyc]

Good news coming soon, which is good cause my ass sure needs some good news. #gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Machias, Washington)

[nightbreak99-blog]

Hopefully the fuel issues will get sorted out soon so she can hit the streets already. #b18c1 #civic #ej1coupe #gramlights57dr #gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Walnut, California)

[jaceblackheart]

#gettingtoooldforthisshit #sgtmurtaugh #LethalWeapon #movies #dannyglover

[kalki-maitreya]

"220lbs/100kg 9/8/8/7/7 5sets." #seemslikeitwasyesterday #gettingtoooldforthisshit

[markvogler]

"Oh Christ...What the hell happened last night!?" #gettingtoooldforthisshit #TheOtherSide with @oceanwideexp (at Antarctica)

[yuuuuuuur]

9.02.2018 #Finalday #Ezoo #Ezoo2018 #Edm #Edmfestival #Medasin #DopeAF #Feelgood #Illenium #Ekali #Chickensoup #Sick #Gryffin #Fuckingkilledit #Headinghome #Tiesto #Gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Electric Zoo Festival) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnRlQEzBot9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13glqlpn9435a

[u-neekdesu]

#gettingtoooldforthisshit (at San Jose, California)

[eatingfish]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dan Fish (@djfish82)

#saturdaynight in #saopaulo makes #lkf look like high tea with grandma. #partyanimals #gettingtoooldforthisshit

[bifurthedwarf]

Bifur is #gettingtoooldforthisshit

On the run from Orcs. An Unexpected Journey

[no1-you-know]

When you see your doctor calling and panic answer your phone.....JUST so they could say happy birthday. *smh

#gettingtoooldforthisshit #andbyshitimeanlife

[amonetttt]

Top blogs🤔

@supmer @march27-th @3106006 @gettingtoooldforthisshit @kiss-meyou-fool @ubotherme @myyellowass @shypvssy @fvckpvssy @you-thotwrong @sheschill @highforthis-97

[jaceblackheart]

#gettingtoooldforthisshit #sgtmurtaugh #LethalWeapon #movies #dannyglover

[youvegotzazz]

On Nauseating Bus Rides, Moving to Israel, and Crucible Moments

I often joke that I'm a Birthright poster child (referring to the ten-day Israel trips that I have been staffing for the past few years), but I'm kinda not joking. Like, I have legitimately won a $300 Amazon gift card for coming in second in a Birthright Israel essay contest. 

I snuck out with the medic and his friend on my Birthright trip at the behest of several Israeli friends, who tried to reason with goody-two-shoes Andrea that this was the opportunity of a lifetime. When else are you gonna get the chance for a night out in Jerusalem? I caved and carpe'd that diem.

(Rebels in the back seat of Random Dude's car. I actually got really sick that night…KARMA.)

Fast forward to four years later, and I've had many a night out in Jerusalem. I've now been to Israel 8 times, 6 of which were on Birthright (once as a participant, five times staffing. FIVE. TIMES.)

(From my first time staffing. So young, short-haired and enthusiastic.)

I am often asked if I get sick of seeing the same sites over and over again, because each trip is mostly the same. Historically, my response is also the same. "It's different every time because I get to watch new people experience it for the first time, and it brings me back to what a profound effect it had on me. It's even more gratifying to give that experience to someone else than it was to experience it in the first place."

This response is understandably cheesy, but not inaccurate.

However…there is a limit.

If I never climb Masada again, it will be too soon.

I don't need to ever go to Yad Vashem (Holocaust memorial) again. I know that sounds blasphemous, but I've done the tour so many times I could probably lead it. (Not really…but kind of.)

Most of all, the trip is exhausting. The days are long and packed, the sleep deprivation is debilitating, and the bus rides…oooooh the bus rides. I am already prone to motion sickness…add a giant tour bus and winding northern roads, and you've got a recipe for disaster. I usually cope by passing out, leading to way more naps than necessary, none of which are particularly refreshing, all of which lead to grogginess that can only be cured by coffee…except I don't like the coffee.

But then of course, there are those moments. The moments someone responds to your Jewish identity activity with a profoundness you never expected. The moments when a participant who has been otherwise quiet expresses how much a certain site means to them. The moments when someone just LANDS a one-liner, and the whole group reacts and community is built.

And most importantly, the moments when a participant thanks me, tells me that my presence on the trip made it all the more special, that they were so glad I was here for their journey.

So I'm torn. There's so much about this trip that I feel like I've outgrown. But at the same time, I'm really, really, ridiculous good at this job, being the "mommy" of this trip. 

I believe in it. I understand the rhythms of it. I know when to be light, when to be serious, when people are connecting and when they aren't. I understand the educational opportunities, and I understand when not to worry about the educational opportunities.

I just…get it. 

Not only do I feel a responsibility to be a part of this experience, knowing that so many people who staff these trips don't necessarily "get it…"

…but also, it feels good to do something you're good at. Especially when you are showered with verbal validation that you are, in fact, really good at it.

The other element to this debate of "do I want to keep doing these trips" is that it's my free ticket to Israel. Coming off a schedule of constant Israel trips every winter and summer of grad school, it had been way too long since I had my fix. And every time I get my fix, I am met by the argument from countless Israelis (and non-Israelis who have "made aliyah," or moved to Israel) that I'm living in the wrong country, that I'm so much better suited to Israeli life.

For a while, I really bought this argument. There has been more than one phase of my life that has involved serious contemplation of aliyah. There are several reasons for this:

1) wanting a new start

2) a desire to achieve Hebrew fluency

3) potential for finding a Jewish spouse

But things are different now. Crucible moments in the past have led me to consider that move (my Birthright trip, spending a summer on my own studying in intensive Hebrew courses in Tel Aviv, post grad-school unemployment), but I can see now that a lot of that was driven by filling a void I felt in my life.

Now when I hear those arguments, they don't have the same impact on me. Because a recent crucible moment (realizing how much my job was killing my soul) caused me to move to New Orleans, and I've felt largely fulfilled ever since.

I don't need another fresh start. I'm in the thick of one. The things I've always wanted…I'm making them happen. Israel will always be the catalyst that started my rebirth, but I just don't need it in the same way I once did. It seems kind of sad, objectively, but I just don't feel that sad about it. I still love Israel, always will.

But for now, The Big Easy will do just fine.

Laissez le bon temps roulez!

[blalz]

holy shat

sooooooooooooooo here's an abridged recap of last night:

-multiple shots of whiskey before leaving camden, then a shitton more drinks at the 2 bars

- got my coat too late and missed my train (next one was an hour later...)

-got pizza, and immediately puked into a trash can in front of the pizza place (IN LINE, and no one noticed).

-took a cab to a tittie bar with a friend of mine til 3:30ish

-went to a diner til 5

-woke up, went to patco, sat in the station for 45 minutes, then decided to get a cab.

thank god my brothers sell and I can be nice and baked at home right now hahaha