#ginran is chasing cars by snow patrol

[hey-cringelord]

this trend ruins me

(soifdesu on tik tok)

i saw this video the day it was posted, so a little over a week ago, and every day i find myself rewatching it over and over whenever i open tik tok. i am half the views on it at this point.

when i first picked bleach back up january of last year, i didn’t remember much of soul society arc. i didn’t bother refreshing my memory on anything except the captains names bcus at that time i wasn’t super into bleach. all i knew was that ichigo isn’t as human as he seems, rukia was saved from soul society, and orihime got scooped up by some random people (or however the bount arc starts). all this to say, i had no idea what the end of arrancar arc had in store for me.

when gin died i was 3-4 hours into that days binge, it was late night, i was tired and a little discombobulated, and ended up quietly sobbing over it (emphasis on quietly bcus i didn’t want my mom overhearing me and thinking i’m crazy). i could go on and on here, but i’ll get back to talking about the pics and save myself from all of that typing.

the orginal post was made march 12 of this year. i’m posting this an hour into the 22 of march. it’s been nearly ten days and all i can think about is rangiku’s edited lipstick marks on gin’s face.

all things considered, i think gin is very boyish and young. rangiku too, obviously, as they were both young (by soul society’s terms) in the flashbacks we get of them. 100 years old and then some compared to yamamoto’s 1000+ years would mean they’re basically teenagers, right?

with this in mind, every time i come back and loop the video for a good five minutes, the image that comes to mind physically hurts me every time. no sad, angsty things here, just mourning what could’ve been.

rangiku loved him, i think, and still had a lot of love to give him after his betrayal and his death.

i see these screenshots and i think about silly moments between them (bcus this has totally happened more than once) where rangiku is maybe a little drunk and a little giggly and a little flirty and gin is there, smiling the way he is and loving every sticky lipstick print rangiku leaves on his face.

it’s cute, and it breaks my heart. as i said i believe gin is boyish and young (in the right company, i should add, and the company in question being rangiku) so he accepts all the sticky marks she leaves on his nose, his cheeks, the corner of his lip.

as much as all this hurts me, though, nothing will compare to the way i sat up, paralysed with shock, as tears streamed down my face after hearing the words: If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and began devouring humans, and from the same mouth you devoured humans, you cried out to me “I love you!”, would I still be able to say “I love you” the same way I do today?

there is no other quote from media that exists in this world that has made me break down in mere milliseconds the way that one did. i still cry if i hear it, and by now i have it fully memorised.

TL;DR: ginran causes emotional pain