#girl help i cant stop drinking lemonade

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

not entirely legal (1977) - l.p. leary

"lost in a fugue of penis delirium"

[dollyhao]

abby helping her sweet neighbor

cw: milf!reader x abby anderson; cunnilingus, fingering, desperate abby, very small mommy kink

“thank you again abby for helping me. are you thirsty?” you ask as you walk back into the house taking your gardening gloves off. abby follows you taking her gloves off too, “yes please.” abby was super fucking thirsty and its not just from working in the sun helping you fix up your garden.

you had asked abby to bring some big bags of fertilizer to your backyard and she ended up staying for a couple hours helping you plant the new flowers and vegetables you recently bought. she had to watch you in that sweet sundress, thats short enough that when you bend over she sees your lacy thong, and barely holds your tits in them and you just had to top it off with this cute lil apron.

you pull the lemonade out your fridge pouring her some handing it to her, "where are the kidos at?" she asks before thanking you, gulping it down. you watch her as she drinks, you watch her throat bob and the way the sweat drips down her biceps and neck. ""um they're with their father for the week," you say trying to shake your thoughts. you’ve been trying to keep your thoughts about your young neighbor innocent but she just loves to come around you and your kids, playing with them, taking them to the park, and buying them toys.

no matter how many times you try to tell her she doesnt have to do this, she waves you off telling you how much she enjoys spending time with you guys. and you never complain because she is just too sweet and pretty to tell to go away. you take your apron off leaning against the sink, she looks at you as you stare at her walking over to you. she presses herself against you reaching behind you to put her cup in the sink.

she watches as you shudder and grabs your waist, gently squeezing. you grab her shoulders rubbing up and down giving her a sultry look. “do you want me abby?” abby gives you a desperate look, “badly..” she whispers. you pull abby down to kiss you which she reciprocates with needy groans. she picks you up sitting you on the counter. you tug on that cute braid she has in her hair when she lets out a groan, kissing down your neck.

you pull her shirt over her head trailing your hands over her abs. abbys kisses and bites on your neck as she works on getting your underwear off. “abby- augh- please fuck me” you whimper out lifting your hips off the counter so she can get them off. abby rushes to kneel in front of you kissing the inside of your thighs as she stares up into your eyes. you watch her press a kiss to your mound as her hand trails up to your breast.

abby takes her time licking and sucking on your clit. pushing two fingers into you watching you shudder and feeling your hands in her hair. you lock your ankles together pulling her closer to your warmth, making her nearly choke on your juices.

“abby omg dont stop.” you throw your head back arching your back. abby pulls away from you humming, curling her fingers and fucking you faster, “i cant get enough of you right now.” abby says kissing your thighs. your face heats up “how… long have you been waiting to fuck me?” you say pulling her to stand kissing her deeply again. “so long,” she whispers softly against your lips. you pull away holding her close to you, “im so close abs..”

abby pulls your dress down under your breast, “please cum mama,” she says before sucking and nipping at your nipples. your vision goes white as you cum, pushed over the edge by abby’s words, clutching abby’s head to your chest. abby pulls away popping her fingers in her mouth sucking and licking, giving you a smirk. abby reaches for her shirt so she could put it back on. you make a disapproving noise snatching the shirt from her, pulling her against you.

“i want more, sweet girl” you smile seductively leading her to your bedroom.

[inkykeiji]

Cant stop thinking about 26. Sickness + flawless!Tomura

prompt: sickness warnings: daddy kink without the kinkiness, mention of drugs, tomu is a brat as always words: 832

A stifled sigh sits heavy and stagnant in Kurogiri’s chest, tender hands rearranging the damp washcloth folded over Tomura’s forehead, fingers brushing back stray strands of silver. A beep sounds from within his pocket, and he reaches for the thermometer shoved in Tomura’s mouth, glass clicking against his teeth as Kurogiri removes it, that suppressed sigh finally escaping his nostrils. 

A fever of 101 degrees.

“I’m fine,” Tomura snaps, but it comes out as more of a whine, stringy and petulant. “Just gimme another bump and I’ll be good as new, promise.” 

“This isn’t a cocaine withdrawal, Tomura,” Kurogiri says sharply, narrowed eyes glancing at his charge for a moment before refocusing on the glass thermometer between his fingers. “Though you’re going to get one of those, too, if this sickness progresses.” 

“What?” 

“You’re ill,” Kurogiri responds flatly. “A virus of some sort is my guess, though I’ll have Doctor Garaki stop by immediately to confirm.”  

“No,” Tomura groans out the word long and drawn, head banging against the pillow, fluffy silver tufts bouncing with the motion. “Not that quack again.” 

“He’ll be here in an hour or less.” 

Despite Tomura’s protests, Doctor Garaki does arrive in under an hour, murmuring to a grumbling Tomura that he’ll only be a moment, and verifies Kurogiri’s suspicions within fifteen minutes. 

“It is, indeed, a virus,” he tells you as he closes the door to Tomura’s bedroom. “Nothing to be too concerned about; it should sort itself out in a few days or so. Lots of rest, lots of fluids. If his fever climbs any higher, call an ambulance.” 

On the other side of the door, Tomura lays restless in his bed, legs twitching and tangled in the heavy comforter, face scrunched in irritated discomfort as he shifts, flopping from his back onto his side with more aggression than necessary.

“Baby,” he whimpers when he notices you’ve entered, arms outstretched and yearning, a deep pout etched into his face. “Come cuddle with Daddy.” 

You do as your told, ever his good girl, supposing that even Daddies need comfort from their little babies from time to time, too. 

He latches onto you the moment you’re close enough, pulling you down and hugging you to his chest, his own personal teddy. He doesn’t look well, eyes sunken and encased in a sickly purple, normally chapped lips cracked open and embellished with dried blood, skin sallow and clammy, having lost most of it’s natural colour. Clumps of silver, damp with cold sweat, cling to his forehead, teeth chattering together delicately, jaw flexing as he tries to stifle the movement. 

Frowning, your fingers find the hinges of his jaw, rubbing gentle circles into them. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Like shit,” he huffs, nose scrunching up. “I hate this. My whole body fucking hurts; I feel like someone took a sledgehammer to my bones and smashed them to bits.” 

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you say, sighing a little as you feel his muscles loosen beneath your touch. “How can I help?” 

“Just...Stay here with me,” he murmurs, voice having already lost its caustic edge, exhaustion seeping through his words and turning them wispy. “Jus’want you close.”

And so, you do. 

Kurogiri is awe-inspiring in his ability to anticipate Tomura’s every want and need, a skill honed and sharpened to perfection over years of nurturing and raising the man, brewing a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup in addition to a whole pitcher of lemonade—a desperate attempt to keep Tomura adequately hydrated, since he refuses to drink plain water, vehemently claiming that it tastes like poison, face screwing up dramatically every time you or Kurogiri succeed in getting him to take a sip.

Even as Tomura’s brattiness intensifies with the worsening of his illness, Kurogiri stays mostly unperturbed, a special type of fondness saturating his features, laced with the slightest hint of typical exasperation. His tired eyes are kind, his soothing voice stern yet soft around the edges, his slim fingers gentle as they fluff pillows and pat sweat and tip glasses to withering lips.

You want to help, too, but Tomura won’t let you, demanding that you stay in bed with him and tend to his more pressing needs—massaging his throbbing temples and running delicate fingers through his now stringy hair and tracing nonsensical patterns across his sticky skin, tender ministrations smoothing out ragged breathing and hushing down sulky complaints.

Kurogiri promises you that it’s fine—he’s alright, he doesn’t need any assistance, really—and claims that you’re doing more good than he ever could with just your placating presence alone, lulling a grousing Tomura into a state of liminality, half-conscious and wavering between states of aching insomnia and fitful sleep.

“This is the calmest I’ve ever seen him while sick,” Kurogiri admits to you, voice barely above a whisper, as Tomura sleeps with his head in your lap. “Honestly, it makes caring for him abundantly easier. You’re the best medicine the Doctor could have prescribed.”

[disaster-fruit]

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much.  Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

[flashlightbaee]

Magical // chapter one (the vampire diaries)

first 21 chapters on Wattpad now! user: mscvro

discription:

[Book 1]

QUOTE| ❝I'm Nike❞ ❝Like the goddess of victory❞

━━ 歡迎

. . . Witches in Mystic Falls are nothing new. Hell the entire Bennet family originates from there. Amongst other supernaturals, they are considered great helpers and sometimes even dear friends. Will the new witch in town be able to find her place in the strange town.

❨ multiple x fem!oc ❩

❨ the vampire diaries ❩

❨ season 2 - probably 8 ❩

❨ ©️ mscvro ✧*.｡ ❩

Disclaimer

this story will narrate the protagonist story over many seasons/years in the tvd-universe. there will be multiple love interest for her but everything is "realistically" paced and mostly follows the plot of the show(s). if you want something that is solely focused on a love story and faster paced maybe try my other stories. if you decide to read, i am thankful that you take on this journey with me.

have fun!!!

"Honey? Are you ready to go to the masquerade ball?" Kira Rose asks her daughter who is staring at herself in the mirror, trying to figure out whether all of her hair is curled or she missed a strand.

"In a minute. Even though I'm still not keen on going. Mom, I don't know anyone here." Nike complains. Her mother sighs.

"One more reason to go. Maybe you'll find some friends." Mrs Rose walks up behind Nike and begins to caress the girl's arms. "Just like a normal girl."

"But I'm not normal, mom. I'm a witch." Nike says and turns around, deciding that her hair is fine. She gives her mother a look before grabbing her back. "It's hard to make friends when you have magic in your veins and trouble keeps on coming your way."

"That's why we moved, baby. So that you can have a fresh start. Just give it a try, okay? For me." Mrs Rose smiles softly.

"I will try but I don't guarantee for anything."

"Good enough for me."

Nike soon comes to regret her promise. The Masquerade ball is boring and not being able to see anyone's face makes this whole getting-to-know-thing even harder. With a glass of lemonade in her hands, Nike paces through the hallways and watches the other guests drink, talk and dance. No one catches her interest until she spots a blonde girl, standing next to the staircase.

She isn't wearing a mask and can't seem to take her eyes off a blond boy who is joking around with two girls. Nike studies her and tries to figure out whether she is an Ex-girlfriend or secret admirer. Soon the boy catches her look and sends her a small yet awkward smile which the blonde replies.

However, as soon as he turns around to walk off with the girls, her smile fades and turns into an almost regretful expression. Nike first hesitates but finally walks over to check on the girl. After all it's only appropriate and she has proof that she at least attempted to find friends.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asks. The blonde jumps in surprise but then nods.

"Yes, it's just my Ex-boyfriend...long story. Thanks for asking." she forces a smile but still seems genuine. "You're not from Mystic Falls, are you? I've never seen you around."

"I just moved here from New Orleans with my mom."

"Uhh, well, welcome then." The girl smiles widely.

"Thank you."

"I'm Caroline, by the way. Caroline Forbes." she introduces herself and extends her hand.

"I'm Nike Rose. Nice to meet you." They shake hands.

"Nice to meet you too. Do you go to Mystic High now?"

"Yes, Monday is my first day," Nike says and Caroline opens her mouth to say something when her phone peeps. She pulls it out of her little back and looks down at it.

"Nice meeting you, Nike. I gotta go. See you on Monday." she says as she starts walking away. "I'm really sorry." Nike doesn't even get a chance to reply when Caroline has already disappeared in the crowd.

"That went well." The brunette mumbles to herself and takes another sip from her lemonade. As she is starting to feel hungry, she makes it her mission to find a Buffett. The only one she can find is in a room full of candles and a massive mirror. It almost looks like a room in one of the castles she visited in Europe.

The room is completely empty except for a girl and a woman who are having a rather heated conversation. Assuming they are mother and daughter, Nike walks in, grabs a muffin from the desk and is about to leave when the conversation catches her attention.

"Look, I have no interest in fighting you." The woman says.

"Then stop the spell you put on my friend." Spell? Nike silently leaves the room and hides behind the door to keep listening to them without having to fear them seeing her. If there is another witch in town that could either solve many of her problems or cause a bunch of new ones.

"Give Katherine the moonstone and I will."

"Why are you helping Katherine? Don't you know what she is?" The woman gives her a challenging look.

"Tell your friends to hand over the moonstone and all will be groovy." She attempts to leave but the girl blocks her path.

"You're not leaving this room until you stop the spell." The woman sighs.

"I don't wanna hurt you."

"No, I don't wanna hurt you." the girl seems really serious about this and is very brave to challenge a much older witch like this.

"Look, I don't have a choice. The bitch saved my life, and now I owe her. I have to pay up." She wants to leave again but the girl grabs her arm, making the woman look up shocked.

"You have the moonstone." The girl quickly let go. "I can sense it on you." The woman grabs the girls hands and the lights start to flicker. "Do you feel that? You can trust me. Give it to me. It's ok."

"Even if I do, what are you going to do? You can't give the stone to Katherine. Trust me, you cant." Nike studies the woman's face and soon finds that she has no answer.

"I think, I can help with that." She gathers all her courage and steps out from behind the door. The witches give her a shocked look.

"Who are you?" the girl asks anxiously.

"I'm Nike. I'm a witch too." The girl eyes her for a moment.

"I'm Bonnie. This is Lucy." she says and slowly starts to walk over to Nike. "What did you mean, you can help?"

"Well, I overheard your conversation and I think I might have an idea how to fix your problem."

"Why would you want to help us?" The woman asks and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"Because witches need to stick together." Nike shrugs. "Do you want to hear about my idea or not?" Bonnie and the woman share a look and then nod.

"Shoot."

[banditcoyote]

Tuesday with Thom

“You sure you have time for this?” Thom asked already unfolding her beach chair and nearly knocking over her spiked lemonade in the process. “I know you got some days on the road ahead of you, you kind of crunched your time huh?”

“Absolutely.” Coyote answered easily, already picking up a bale of hay like it was a bag of groceries and moving it to the back of the loft. Thom raised her eyebrows in appreciation of this strength. “Yeah, I did, but it was more than worth it, besides this won’t take me longer than an hour, tops.” Coyote told her as he pushed it tight into the corner.

Thom laughed and reclined in her spot in the hay loft, she thought about sliding her sunglasses down on her face, but decided to keep the shades up to admire the way Coyote moved about with such ease. The heat of the summer already causing his t-shirt to cling to his muscular physique with sweat. He might have been her ex, her current lover’s father, and the mate of her best friend, but Thom was still a woman and there was nothing wrong with appreciating a view. “You know, all those years of you and Gatlin coming by here, I can’t believe you made such a show of hiding this strength.”

Coyote grabbed a bale with each hand and laid them against the other ones. “Couldn’t get anything done too fast even if you weren’t watching,” he pointed out “What would we do just sit around and wait an appropriate amount of time?”

Thom nodded “I guess that’s true….” She held her straw up to her lips and took a sip. “So tell me about Sasuga fighting! This is the first time you saw her right?” she said looking for some gossip.

Coyote lit right up, a smile stretching across his face. Thom slipped her phone from her pocket and did her best to sneak a photo, knowing that Sasuga would love to see how proud her man was of her, just at the mere mention of her name. “I saw her fight before…uh….one of the first few times I met her.” Coyote’s face turned a bright shade of red and Thom zoomed in quick and got a perfect angled picture before Coyote lifted another hay bale to block the shot. Thom smirked and put her phone down, satisfied for the moment. “But that before we were really anything” just before. Coyote thought “so I thought she was good, but this time she got some new armor, and she was really driven….I actually have a couple shots I can show you after.”

“That would be awesome. I’ve seen her model, obviously” Thom said “But I haven’t really seen that other side of her, I can’t wait.  So what about the rest of the time, were you doing press with her? How much personal time did you get?” she asked with a little tone to her voice heavily hinting that she was looking for some dirty details.

Coyote shot her a warning glance, but it was clear he was amused by it, “Have you been texting with Shishi?” he knew the pair had hit it off when he was here and her attitude now somewhat reminded him of Sasuga’s meddling uncle. She only smirked in response and waggled her eyebrows looking for an answer. Coyote took a breath “We had plenty of personal time, but not nearly enough. Leaving was hard, real hard, and there were a couple things we argued about, which was really not how I wanted to spend our time…”

Thom snapped to attention “Argument?” she wondered what it could be, she knew from their heart to hearts that Sasuga really had her mind set on two things, marriage and children, two things that could be big deal breakers.

Coyote sighed a big and rubbed the back of his neck. “She wants to get a house…” Thom thought this was curious as Coyote’s house was nothing short of amazing, and as she opened her mouth to ask further questions Coyote continued “In Japan” Thom promptly shut her mouth and let that sink in for a second, then moved to sip her lemonade without comment. “Yeah.” Coyote added and throwing a hay bale with a bit more strength than may have been necessary.

“Don’t bust any of those now….” Thom said softly, sensing his frustrations and still trying to make heads or tails. Coyote murmured an apology, understanding he was letting emotions get the best of him. “Japan huh….like permanently?”

Coyote shook his head quickly. “No, just like, a summer house, she had a little apartment there, it was nice, I liked it, rooftop entrance for us and everything. A bed that hung from the ceiling.” The corners of his lips turned up again, remembering their reunion back in June. His tail wagged a little, and Thom was glad to see he was back to reminiscing. “But she wasn’t somewhere a bit more private, which I get, she cant hide like I can, I know she just wants to be herself in her own place without worrying about people coming around, even my place, outside you gotta be careful none of the ranch hands are getting too close to the house.”

Thom sat up a little. “Wait, so she just wants like…a vacation house for you two?” she clarified.

“Yeah.” He said with a nod.

Thom blinked for a moment. “Okay. So whats the big problem?”

Coyote turned after he placed another bale down and stared at her for a moment. “It’s in Japan.”

Thom stared back. “Do we-……Do we not like Japan?” she asked still confused.

Coyote gave half a shake of his head “It’s just….it’s far.”

Thom tilted her head for a bit. “Okay….afraid of flying?”  she said stirring the ice in her drink with her straw.

Coyote knew Sasuga couldn’t, or wouldn’t, fly but that wasn’t the point of the conversation so he didn’t bring it up “No….it’s just.” He sighed. “I feel like I’ve been real distracted…I love Sasuga, I love her so much, it’s hard to focus on the ranch when shes around and I feel like I’ve been really neglecting the staff and Preacher and Poncho. I don’t want to just…abandon everything I’ve built here. You know I’ve been a part of this community and I don’t want to become a hermit because all I want to do is hang out with my wife all day in my house, I don’t want to be a rich asshole like other ranchers, I like working and I like being around people and in town. But I feel bad that Sasuga feels like an outsider here, and I’m not sure how to bring her into the community, I want to make sure she’s comfortable like I am and-“ Coyote paused looking at Thom who was grinning ear to ear. “What?” he asked wondering what thought was going on her head.

Thom pressed her hand to her heart. “You called her your wife.” She cooed.

Coyote’s face went red again and he picked up a bale so he had an excuse to turn his back to her. “Well….ya know…..eventually….” he said trying to avoid the topic even though he had let it slip, and he was glad that Sasuga wasn’t around to hear him, less the two girls start shrieking about it together.

Thom gasped and nearly jumped out of her chair. “You didn’t propose to her in demon world did you?!” she asked entirely offended. “I swear to God if she comes back and there is a ring on her finger and you didn’t tell me. I swear Coyote Jones I’ll….well I don’t know what I’ll do but I swear I’ll-“

Coyote held up his hands and laughed a bit. “No…No I didn’t.” he said trying to calm Thom down. “It hasn’t even really been a year yet.” He reminded her.

“So?” She said with a shrug. “You’re already mated right? And Cal and I have barely dated for a year and-“

It was Coyote’s turn to interject “Cal Propose to you?” he asked quickly.

The blush that rushed to Thom’s cheeks was a perfect mirror to the one that had only left Coyote’s. “N-No.” she said with a little shake of her head and she pulled her lemonade to her mouth. “but I know that if I did I’d say yes.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you said so.” He said matter of factly.

“Coyote! You better not!” she said grabbing a handful of loose straw from the loft floor and tossing it fruitlessly in his direction.

“Then you better not tell Sasuga bout this either!” he said with as much threat as she had in her voice. “Fine.” She said falling back in her chair defiantly.

“Fine.” Coyote said with a nod. The silence that fell between them was like a blanket. “You’d think she’d say yes?” he asked quietly.

Thom nodded “I know she would.” She took a sip “You planning on it?”

Coyote puffed out his cheeks. He knew the answer to this but there was no way he could tell Thom, she was Sasuga’s best friend here, and was getting close with Shishi, he knew the three of them together couldn’t help but gossip so letting anything slip, even as much as he had now, was a bit dangerous. “I was thinking about buying her a horse.”

Thom nearly choked on the mouthful of her cocktail. “You’re gonna propose to her with a horse?” she coughed out.

Coyote laughed heartily “No! No. Just something of her own to make her feel at home, I was thinking one of those Gypsy Vanners, I know they’re big and strong but she could handle it as long as she had a connection with the animal, and they’re so pretty.”

Thom understood they were fully changing the subject even if she wasn’t entirely happy with it. “They’re beautiful.” She agreed. “I know she’d have fun with all that mane and tail.”

Coyote nodded “I know, but if she wants to go to Japan then-“

Thom nodded “I get it, it’s not really a great idea getting a pet and then leaving it all alone all the time.” Coyote nodded, glad that Thom understood that at least. “And the business is kind of suffering since you’ve been running off with her a lot? Why don’t you just tell her funds are tight and you need to focus?”

Coyote paused “No….funds have been fine, and Sasuga has all her own money, she doesn’t need mine.”

“Wait.” Thom put her hand up. “Nothing is happening with the business?” He shook his head to confirm, everything had been fine. “Coyote. Don’t be an idiot.” He blinked at her. “I’m sorry, I know you’re an idiot, and you can’t just stop being you.” She couldn’t help the barbs. “You’ve worked really hard here, and you’ve built something that’s great, you should buy a vacation house with your mate, your eventual wife, and not worry about the business. I’m sure Gatlin could step in, he has for you in the past. Or is he too busy with-?” again her tone was dripping with intention. She wanted the dirt.

Coyote nodded “Oh yeah, super busy, he’s been hooking up with Shishi and Kurama like crazy, a real uh fuck fest, they can’t keep their paws off each other, You should see the marks on Shishi, I think he’s part incubus-“

Thom’s eyes had only started to glaze over as her fantasies took over but then she shook her head. “Hey! You’re trying to change the subject. We were talking about you! Buy the damn house Coyote!” she said slapping her leg.

He rolled his eyes, he had thought he was out of the woods about the house. “I’ll go look at houses” he agreed with a nod. “Im afraid of losing all this but I’m afraid of losing her more.”

Thom made that high pitch noise that women loved to make when they thought something was adorable and his ears tipped back on his head as she pushed herself up and rushed forward with arms outstretched. He returned the hug with a little laugh.

“You’re not gonna lose us Coyote. Not if you tried.” She promised as she squeezed him as hard as she could. “We love ya too much, you’re a great guy.” She started running her hand up and down his back

“How many of those cocktails did you have before I got here?” He asked her amused

“Just two….maybe three.” She laughed and looked up into his face. “You might need to help me down the ladder. They all just went right to my head in this heat.”

He nodded “Alright. Go sit down, don’t hurt yourself, I’ll hurry this up and we’ll get you back in the A/C. Deal?”

Thom nodded with a smile “Deal.”

[heartbreakgrill]

Circles; Harry Styles Pt. 2

“Remember Frankie? From World History? She has a baby now,” you remarked, voice like lyrics over the rhythm of your white tennis shoes and Harry’s leather boots stepping in time on the concrete bike path.

Leaves occasionally fell, crunching under your feet, sticks and stones on the path being kicked or broken away. The fall wind blew gently, waving strands of your air in front of your face. You had decided against lipgloss, luckily because your hair was so unruly. Harry’s curls, a beautiful feature of his which you always admired, were flopping with each step. You found your eyes trailing from his cheek to his hair consistently, simply admiring. He didn’t catch on much, his own focus glancing between you and the ground beneath his feet.

Lunch had been wonderful. He took to you the local pub, where you sat in the corner, knees bumping against each other after every movement. You shared a basket of fries, ate your own sandwiches and drinks. You caught up on everything: Your studies in London, who your friends were these days, the last boy who broke your heart. He told you about Louis and Niall, and only a little of Liam and Zayn. He explained the sketchiness of his management, the stress of touring, but his excitement on stage. You admitted to have listened to his two albums the night before and told him Little Thins became a quick favorite. You told him about your plan to move to New York when you finished University in order to delve into the world of international journalism.

After lunch, you didn’t want to leave one another, lingering in front of the door, still chatting, when you remembered the local bike trails. (“Gosh, I haven’t been there in forever.” “Same here.”)

So, now, you were strolling along, hands in pockets and elbows bumping somewhat. He replied to your comment about a forgotten classmate with, “God, its strange to think about people we know having children. Were only 19.”

You shrugged, “That’s normal around here, I guess. People settle down straight away, let go of their dreams for simpler, easier things.”

“I could’ve done that,” Harry spoke with a whispery tone. “Sometimes I wish I would’ve.”

You didn’t want to poke and prod at a comment that could turn into something bigger and moved on. “You’ve got money. Be happy.” Of course, this was a joke.

Harry laughed, “Money cant buy happiness.”

“Oh, I’m sure it could buy mine.” He glanced at you inquisitively. “Well, Im constantly stressed in London because of work and school. Its stressful and exhausting paying for my apartment and class and food and life.”

Harry frowned somewhat, “That’s part of the reason I hate it sometimes. I’m so lucky and undeserving of all I get just because I can sing and I’m attractive. You work so hard for what you have and you still struggle. It’s unfair.”

You retrieved your hand from your pocket and pushed him lightly, “I’m just confused as to who said you were attractive.”

He blushed deeply, his eyes downcast and shy. Suddenly he met your eyes and shrugged his shoulders. “You did say I was cute.”

Your own cheeks quickly turned red. “I’m gonna avoid my problems.” Your pace quickened and you began to walk away from Harry.

He giggled, emitting a grin on your face, and walked fast. Harry reached out and grabbed you around the waste, spinning you around in his arms. You caught yourself on his shoulders, feeling his warm breath combat the cold on your cheeks. He grinned cheekily down at you, eyebrows raised.

“I didn’t lie,” you unashamedly spoke. “Ive always thought you were cute. Hell, the only reason I came to the bakery so much was because of you.”

“What about the muffins?” He mused.

“Harry, a girl gets sick of eating muffins every single Saturday for 2 years in a row.”

He chuckled, squeezing your waist gently. But, then, his eyes fell slightly, his lips molding into a frown. His grip loosened and he almost stepped back. But, he didn’t. “Do you wanna go on a date tomorrow? With me?”

“I’d really like it if you could get Niall’s number for me, but I guess you’ll do,” you whipped your head around in exclamation.

He scoffed, laughing loudly, before pulling you against his chest. You just stood there, hugging each other lightly, though you were shivering in the breeze. Soon after, he walked you home and even kissed your cheek prior to leaving. You giddily walked up to your bedroom, bare of much decoration because of your schooling situation. You closed the door and leant against like a heartsick teenager. You felt the same way you did two years ago, head over innocent heels for some stupid boy. You didn’t know if this would work, given your future career and his present one. You didn’t know what his favorite color was, but he did telll you his favorite way to drink tea. You didn’t know who his childhood cartoon crush was, but you knew that when he looked at you, your stomach was in flames.

You didn’t know what you would regret in the future, as no one does. So you decided to jump.

-

Harry had definitely gone on Pinterest.

When you opened your door (only knowing he would be arriving at the time he did because you spent the entire afternoon, night, and morning texting one another) you immediately smelled the sweet fragrance of men’s cologne. It was nice, slightly overwhelming, but nice nonetheless. He held a bouquet of red roses, your favorite because you told him you were a fan of cliches. He wore a jade green button-up, short-sleeve dress shirt. It was obviously new, given away by the fact that there were creases in his sleeves. (His favorite color was ocean blue, by the way, and yours was the color of his shirt.) In his other hand was a picnic basket, which he held up to you after he handed off the roses.

“It’s freezing outside, Harry,” you giggled whilst motioning him to step inside. He did, following you into the kitchen.

You set the roses up in a vase as he replied, “I know. But its okay because I have a really nice idea.”

“Okay, I trust you,” you spoke reassuringly. You turned towards him from your spot by the counter.

Harry’s eyes trailed over your figure, clad in a long-sleeve, ocean blue wrap top tucked into a pair of blue jeans which stopped just above your black ankle boots. Gold jewelry dangled above the neckline and from your ears, your hair tied up in a low messy bun which took too much effort. “You look lovely, by the way.”

“You, too,” you grinned, meeting his eyes. “Guess we both thought of impressing one another.”

“I went to three different stores to find this,” he spoke as you began to lead him back to the front door.

“Uh, me, too. Don’t act so special,” you grabbed your coat off the rack and slipped your arms through it. Harry laughed.

You bid farewell to your parents, who were watching television in the living room. They gushed over Harry, about to ask him a million questions when you said, “Dinner reservations, sorry, got to go!”

You grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door. You didn’t let go, and neither did he, but he had to in order to open your door. You hadn’t expected this and hesitantly slid into the passenger seat. “Thanks.” You told him once he started the car.

After a few moments of adjustable, comfortable silence, you piped up again, “So, where exactly are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

You arrived to a park two towns over after half an hour. It was massive, with lookout spots all over the hills. He parked in one with the trunk of his mum’s car facing out over the countryside. He opened your door for you, again, and led you to the back of the car.

“Okay, Ted Bundy,” you giggled lightly, walking ahead of him.

“Oh, please, I dont want to kill you,” he scoffed, popping the trunk. “At least not until the nights over.”

“Why not?” You held his eyes, not yet looking to the trunk.

He shrugged, “Because I have to get a goodnight kiss first.”

He left you stunned, cheeks red and eyes wide. Harry sat down in the trunk, leaning back against the pillows and blankets decorating the small space. You grinned at him, as he was awaiting your reaction. He leant a hand and helped you settle next to him. You both crossed your legs in order for him to set the picnic basket down. He shut the trunk, the heater cranked up and the radio playing.

“Were wasting so much gas,” you laughed, shedding your coat.

Harry took it from you, folded it, and set it on the folded down back seats. He took off his own, “Dont worry about it. I’m rich, remember?”

You tossed your head back with a loud laugh. The hours flew by from there on: He had made finger sandwiches, which you ate with liberation, and homemade lemonade packaged in a thermos. His mother helped him melt chocolate and cover strawberries in it. He had even made a mini cake at the bakery and packaged it all nicely for you two to share. You talked about everything you hadn’t already discussed: Music, books, television, his supporting act on tour, your favorite professors. You told him about your dumb job waitressing, about the lady who had tipped you one-hundred euros.

Once you were done, you helped him pack up the trash. He set the picnic basket in the front seat before shutting off the car. The sunroof was closed, but the stars were visible through it. He laid down on the blankets, head smushing the pillows. You sat there for a moment, feeling slightly awkward, before he motioned for you to lay down, too.

You cleared your throat, face hot and body stiff, before doing so. There were barely a few inches between you, but Harry made sure there were none. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and tugged you into him. You took the liberation to lean your head on his chest and lay your arm across his stomach. No words were exchanged, but they didn’t need to be. Everything that you could learn had probably already been said: Deeper stories, moments, could be exchanged later. A bond was now established and you already knew what was coming.

For now, you could only enjoy the moments that he was here: His hand in yours when he drove you home; hand in yours as you led him to the front door; lazily smiling down at you; a gentle, comforting hug; his eyes flickering between yours, your lips; his breath fanning closer until he stole his goodnight kiss.

“Guess you can kill me now.”

TAG LIST: @mantlereid , @boxofteenageideas , @dinosaursandsocks @ashhdaniellee95 @heartbreakcity @sadhwstudent

[gvf-imagine]

Part 2

warnings:  none

word count: 4705

summary: you get a text from dreamy rock singer Josh Kiszka whom youve just met at a live show and he wants to see you tonight!

tag list: @satingrass-maidensfair @karrotkate @kakarla @love-philautia @elliestrawberries @shesdigging @callmekane @supersonic-darling @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair @justacollegestudentyay

A\N: Loved writing this chapter! I hope you all enjoy it and like always any feedback is welcome and appriciated 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Your friend hurried back to the table.

“What happened?!” she asked, her expression hungry for details. You simply shrug.

“He invited me to their next show at some college party…..he invited you too , oh and I gave him my number” you say with a melancholy tone. Your friends' eyes were wide.

“Why do you sound depressed??” she questions

“Why are you not freaking out like me?” she adds.

“He has a girlfriend” you say, taking another drink of your lemonade.

“God I wish there was alcohol in this” you chime again, mostly to yourself.

“Ok he has a girlfriend BFD he can't like her that much if he asked you for your number” she said with a satisfied shrug.

“Yeah that's just it, I don't wanna be the reason he leaves her. I mean we literally just met like what? Twenty minutes ago? And who knows how long he's been with her” you ramble. Your friend shakes her head

“Listen, whatever happens between them is NOT your problem. If he'd leave her for a girl he just met twenty minutes ago then clearly their relationship is already trash” she states. You look at her blankly for a moment before rolling your eyes.

“You just like the drama” you retort with an eventual smile. She nods proudly as she takes another sip of her drink

“I do! AND I like the guitarist so we're going to that show at that party” she decides. You chuckle and shake your head. Honestly you were excited to hear and see him again, you really really were and it's not like you guys were gonna make out or anything. You had no plans on doing anything that would jeopardize his current relationship, the two of you were just friends so far, not even friends, just acquaintances. Being an acquaintance sounded far better than being a home-wrecking hussy.

“That reminds me” you say, settling the storm of thoughts in your mind. Your friend looked up at you.

“Josh said that Jake, that guitarist you're in love with, was staring at you the whole show”  you proclaim readying yourself for the deafening overzealous girl-ish shriek that was sure to be escaping her perfectly glossed lips at any moment.

“WHAT??!” she yelled, her aura flashed at you like the aftershock of an atom bomb.l her face lit up with excitement and yours winced with the pain of her shriek ringing in your ears.

“Sorry I said anything” you reply but it falls on deaf ears.

“Oh my god what will I wear??” she asks her eyes darting off in thought.

“Wear two stamps and Saltine cracker for all I care , just don't get your hopes up about mr. wonderful there, boys in bands aren't really known for their long healthy relationships, more like short, shameful one night stands” you say.

“Yeah I don't care” she replies quickly. You smile, of course she doesn't. You can't help but feel differently about Josh, somehow you knew he wasn't like that. Maybe that was just you getting your own hopes up. He seemed genuine but you had only just met him so you couldn't really make a fair call yet. The rest of that day was full of water, sunshine, and lingering thoughts of two boys you hardly knew.

The next day was completely different, weather-wise at least. Dark, heavy clouds hung over your town like a horrendous guilt. A, what seemed to be never ending, shower of rain fell to the ground turning every home and business in Silver City, Michigan  into a lakefront property.

“Its about time you woke up” your friend smiles as you join her in the living room. She hands you a hot cup of tea, both of you still wore your pajamas which consisted of cotton shorts and old oversized t-shirts. The sound of rain dancing on the large window made you sleepy again, noting a huge crack of thunder and lightning couldn't solve though. Your body jolted in response to the loud boom. Your friend simply laughed and took another sip of her steaming beverage, smelled like vanilla chamomile.

“Shut up” you report playfully elbowing her in the ribs. You looked at your phone, you forgot you had turned it on silent last night. There was one unread message from a random number. Butterflies took flight against the walls of your stomach.

Josh.

You hated the fact that you couldn't help but blush and grin at the thought of him.

He has a girlfriend

He has a girlfriend

He has a girlfriend

You chanted to yourself in incantation before refocusing and reading his message.

J: Hey, it's me! I hope you had a good rest of your day yesterday, sorry for the late text, I had to wait till my girl fell asleep to talk to you…

Your heart sinks. You felt so bad for his girlfriend, it's not nice of Josh to go behind her back BUT there are always two sides to every story and who knows maybe she's talking to another guy behind his back. Your thoughts flew around your mind like fireflies. You shook your head and watched them scatter out of your ears and disappear into nothing.

Y: hey Josh! I'm glad to hear from you, so when's that party?

You decide to completely ignore the fact of his girlfriend and ask about the show instead, you'd like to talk to him more about his relationship because clearly he wasn't very happy in it, but it wasn't your place to ask.

J: 343 university Dr. we play at seven but well be there around five, so does this mean you're coming?

Y: yeah well be there, my friend would drag me by my hair if I didn't want to go lol but she won't have to

J: well that's good news for your hair, its too pretty to be pulled around…..like that anyway

The butterflies made their way all throughout your body. Did he just compliment you? It felt so good to hear him say that, it made you feel like a little giggly school girl with a crush. On the other hand you couldn't stop wondering if he'd said the same to his girlfriend today or who knows maybe there's other girls. You signed and slump down in your seat. Why was this eating you alive? You really honestly didn't even know him that well. You didn't know his last name, his favorite color, if he'd ever broken a bone. All you knew was he was a boy in a band, with a beautiful voice and a face to match. You felt the butterflies melt into a warmth as thoughts of him filled your head.

Y: josh…

J: I know i'm sorry, I just… I can't help it. I'm usually not like this but I just feel pulled towards you..

Somehow you knew exactly what he was trying to say, you felt the same way. The two of you were magnetized towards each other. You needed to be in his life one way or another and you just might have to put your better judgement aside and let temptation take the wheel.

Y: I know, it's okay. You're really sweet and I appreciate that. I'm really glad we met Josh

J:Im glad we did too and I feel like we met for a reason, I have to go rehearse with the guys now, but i'll talk to you as soon as I can… maybe I can come see you tonight?

Come see you tonight? What does that mean? What would we do? What would he tell his girlfriend? You didn't know what to say, hopefully he would be too busy at rehearsal to have any free time tonight.

Y: sure, if you're not busy you can stop by, just call me or something, hopefully ill still be awake ha ha. If no then i'll see you at the show…. Bye Josh :)

J: haha ok bye y/n

----------------------------------------

*later that evening*

“So you're going to let him come over tonight right??” your friend prys as the two of you walked through the mall. You rolled your eyes, as you often did around her.

“How did you even know about that?” you asked, swinging your bags as you walked. She looked down

“I may have just quickly skimmed through your texts while you were in the shower” she chimed with an innocent smile. You glared at her but couldn't hold back your laugh.

“Youre so fucking nosy” you reply shoving her gently. She smirks with a slight cock of her head.

“I dont go through your phone” you add. Her face goes blank

“Yeah well my love life isn't as exciting as yours right now, my phone’s dryer that the sahara” she responds with her usual quick wit.

“Well what about Jake, he might like you” you suggest.

“Yeah he MIGHT and I dont have his phone number so I cant talk to him” she argues.

“We’ll get it at the party don't worry” you reassure. She sighs and drops her shoulders.

“Yeah and so will every other girl within a mile radius” she retorts.

“Hey there were plenty of girls at the water park yelling his name but he only had eyes for you” you respond, you can tell what you said made her feel slightly better.

“Yeah well I guess we'll see, he is really cute though…. I'm totally getting his number” she chirps decidedly. You knew she would, it never takes much coaxing for her to want to get a guy's number, usually she didn't have to ‘get’ them, guys practically threw their numbers at her. I've gotta hand it to her this time though, Jake is a good looking gman.

Just then your phone rings, you look down and see Josh’s name flashing on the screen.

“oh shitting hell it's him!” you say looking at your friend like a deer in headlights.

“Well what are you out of your mind?? ANSWER IT!” she demands as she grabs your hand making you put your phone against your face.

“Hi, Josh” you say, shooing her hand away.

“Hey! I wasn't sure if you were going to answer” he says, you can tell a smile is beaming on his face.

“Yeah sorry my hands are kinda full and I had to dig in my bag for my phone” you lied. Your  hands were only carrying one bag, they were hardly full, and your phone was already in your hand as well. You didn't want Josh to know you were too nervous to answer right away and your friend had to basically force feed the phone to you.

“Oh well, i'm done with rehearsal.. What are you up to?” he asks, he must have JUST got done with practice because you can hear him and who you assume is the rest of the band fumbling with some equipment in the background.

“Oh me and y\f\n are just at the mall, well we're leaving now, we just wanted to pick up some new outfits for..” your voice trails. Shit. you did not want him to know you were here getting new clothes for his show, that would give him a big ego.

For christs sake y\n make something up QUICK BEFORE-

“For what?” he questions, his voice interrupting you from your panicked thoughts.

Fuck.

“Ummm for …. A birthday party! Yeah next weekend, her cousin's birthday party. Its gonna be on a boat at the lake so we wanted to get some beach appropriate attire” you say, what a shit-headed fucking lie, really? A birthday party? On a boat??? Josh simply laughs

“Birthday party huh? Sounds like a good time” he's smiling again.

“Well I hope you have fun.. So you wanna get together tonight?” he asks getting right to the elephant in the room. You pause and look at your friend who nods so hard you thought she was going to slip a disc in her spine.

“Aren't you really busy? You're in a band you must have like no free time to hangout with  me” you say prolonging your answer.

“Well no I don't have much free time, but i'm freeing up my time...for you” he responds. His words were so sweet but so hard to hear and they made you feel both happy and conflicted at the same time.

“I'll bring Jake,” he adds.

Your friend snatches your phone when she hears this.

“Yes! Lets hangout! Our address is 1342 sunfield st. Why don't you guys stop over, let's say,in  an hour!” she chimes cheerfully. You can hear Josh’s voice responding but cant make out what he's saying.

“Awesome see you guys soon!” she says once more before hanging up the phone. You just stand there looking at her with zero expression on your face.

“You'll thank me later” she remarks, tossing you your phone and continuing through the mall.

“Come on slowpoke we gotta get date ready!” she bounces up and down grabbing your hand pulling you along. You were really excited to see Josh again, nervous as hell, but excited nonetheless. What were you going to wear?

-----------------------------------------

The two of you finally returned back to your house, your friend made a bee-line for her room, you did the same. You stood hopelessly in front of your closet.

“God I have nothing to wear!” you holler to your friend.

“You can borrow something of mine,” she offers. You hear her shuffling through her drawers, she's probably ripping through her clothes.  With a quick pace you made your way to her room.

“What should I wear?” you ask looking through her clothes she's already tossed aside.

“I haven't the faintest idea, I guess it depends on what we're going to do. Maybe wear something practical? Multi-purpose” she suggests. No help. You grab a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top that had a red floral pattern. This'll do. Sauntering back to your room you slip the outfit on and look at yourself in the mirror. Thank god you and her were basically the same size. Now all that was left was the matter of your hair and makeup. You decided to go with something simple, you didn't want to look like you were trying to impress him (even though you were). You tied your hair into a high pony-tail leaving a few strands down in the front to frame your face.

With gentle and effortless precision you put on your eyeliner, it really brings out your eyes and makes your cheekbones look nice. Usually that was the only makeup you wore, but tonight, you decided to put on some lipstick for good measure, a nice natural blush color. You smile at your reflection, which rarely ever occurred.

“You look great!” your friend's voice fills the air, light pink waves crashing over hot sand, you watch as the waves echo out of your bedroom window.

You turn to look at her, she's wearing a knee length sky blue spaghetti strap dress, it was simple and pretty and fit her frame perfectly. She wore a pair of white doc martens to top off her soft grunge look, her hair was down and barely touched her shoulders.

“What happened to ‘wear something practical’”? You question with a grin.

“To hell with it, I need to look irresistible” she answers.

“Well you do, I love that dress” you respond. There was a knock on the door, you and y\f\n looked at each other before the both of you  scurried excitedly to the door.

“Oh wait wait WAIT” you exclaim in a hushed yell as you ran into the bathroom, you grabbed your favorite perfume and spritzed a careful amount over your body.

“Ok go go go” you say as you toss the bottle back on the counter. The two of you rush to the door looking each other over one last time before your friend pulls the door open. In front of you stand Josh  and Jake, both wearing sweet smiles.

“Hey,” Josh says looking at you, his smile grew softer and more sincere the longer he looked at you. You picked up on it and blushed letting out a pathetically soft “hi”

“Come on in” your friend says, opening the door even wider. The boys step inside looking around, taking in their surroundings.

“Nice place, Josh and I share an apartment” Jake states with a soft chuckle

“This is hardly our house, her parents pay our rent” you say nodding toward your friend. She smiles

“Yeah they're loaded! So what do you guys wanna do?” she says quickly. Jake laughs at her remark.

“We thought we could go for a walk, maybe get some ice cream” josh says, more to you than the other two.

“A walk? It's like 10 pm” your friend says a small laugh escaping her lips.

“That's the best time to go” Jake says.

“Don't worry we'll protect you from any robbers” Josh jokes. You smile, you did everytime he looked at you, you couldn't help it he was so pretty.

“Sounds fun” you chime.

“Im 100% getting blue moon” your friend says grabbing her purse

“Oh you don't need that, ill buy” Jake offers, your friend looks at you with a smile.

“My kinda guy” she jokes again. Jake and Josh laugh and you all head out the door. The night air was crisp and clean, the smell of rain still hung in the sky. The ground was damp and the clouds were still looming and dark, but the rain had settled to a light sprinkle. You could smell it all, the droplets that hung off the leaves and the wet earthy dirt they fell onto. It was your absolute favorite smell, it reminded you of fall, which was only a few weeks away. The thought of that made you face burn red as you remembered you told josh that you had a birthday party on a boat to go to in a few weeks not stopping to think about what season it was. Dumbass. There's no way he fell for that.

Jake and your friend trailed slightly behind you and Josh, keeping conversion as they did. You heard them both laugh every few seconds and they seemed to be getting along.

“You look really pretty,” Josh speaks, forcing your attention on him.

“Oh” you smile.

“Thank you, I couldn't really find anything nice to wear, so I had to borrow something of hers” you admit with a laugh.

“You could have worn a trash bag, you'd still look pretty,” he says. His voice was dark and gentle like melted chocolate. His words ripped through you like wind through trees and all you could think about was his girlfriend.

“Can I ask you something?” you question.

“You can ask me anything” he responds, his eyes searching the ground.

“Why are you so nice to me?” you ask, your voice falls a little. Josh looks at you and then a passing car steals his gaze.

“When I first saw you I felt this pressure lift from my shoulders and then I couldn't take my eyes off of you, even if I wanted to I couldn't. You filled my head and I hadn't even spoken to you yet. One look.. And you entranced me…” he says softly.

“There's something between us y/n and I need to know what it is” he speaks again. Both of you had stopped walking by now, Jake and your friend were across the street ordering everyone's ice cream and standing noticeably close. Now that you thought about it, so were you and Josh.

“What about your girlfriend?” you ask, barely able to form words, all you could focus on was his perfect lips and enchanting eyes. You were close enough that you could smell his faint cologne pass your nose with every slight gust of wind. Your mention of his girlfriend didn't seem to phase him at all.

“Things with me and her are complicated, our relationship was set up through our parents and it's just a mess.. A forced mess. She doesn't feel that close to me, I've known you for a day and I've felt more things with you than I've ever felt with her. He explains. He was being honest, it wasn't just a show or him telling you what you want to hear.

“So why don't you just break up with her?” you ask again.

“I've never broken up with anyone before… I don't know how...plus her dad is our band manager and it would just cause a lot of problems” he admits. You understood how he felt, you'd never broken up with anyone either, you've always been on the receiving end of a bad breakup. Jake and y/f/n return, arms full of ice cream.

“Peanut butter cup, your favorite” your friend chimes, handing you a double scoop of the creamy treat stuffed generously into a waffle cone. Waffle cones were amazing, you never understood why anyone got anything else, they were delicious and if you rice cream started to melt it would catch in the diamond shaped waffle divots of the cone and not drip on your clothes. Yummy and practical.

“Thanks” you say, taking a refreshing lick. The four of you walked aimlessly around town, talking and laughing the whole way until you eventually wound up back at your house.

“Wow i cant believe how late it is already” Jake says looking at his phone, which prompted you to do the same.

“Holy shit it's 1am” you say, which was probably a mistake because saying it out loud made you realize how tired you actually are. Josh looks at you  

“Yeah it's late but I don't wanna leave” he admits a smile forms on his sweet face. He looked cute when he was tired.

“....you can stay the night if you'd like” you say nervously tugging at the hem of your shirt. Josh's face lit up

“It is very dangerous to drive while you're tired” your friend comments. Jake smiles and looks at Josh as the four of you walk back inside.

“I'm game” he says plopping down on the couch.

“Yeah I guess we can just crash on the couch” Josh says with a shrug, your friend quickly intervenes.

“Oh no no no this old couch will kill your back, you can sleep in y/n’s room!” she offers. You freeze. In my room? In the same bed? At the same time?

“Right y/n?” your friend speaks again, with a perky tone. Her eyes grow wide, glaring at you for a quick second.

“Oh uh yeah totally, these couches are stone” you say trying to sound nonchalant.

“Jake and I will probably stay up a while, why don't you guys head to bed?” your friend says again. Wow she's really pushing for you two to be together. You laugh at her and once again roll your eyes.

“Yeah, cmon Josh, it's right down the hall” you say, leading him to your room.

He closes the door behind him as the two of you enter. There's a moment of silence.

“You know, I can sleep on the floor if you're not comfortable with this,” he says stuffing his hands nervously in his pockets. It was tempting considering he had a girlfriend already but you  couldn't remember the last time you vacuumed this floor.

“No that's ok, I'm fine with sharing the bed, I wouldn't ask you to sleep on the floor” you say with a chuckle before yawning.

“I'm more tired than I realized” you add , sleep tugging at your eyelids.

“Me too” Josh says stretching. You looked down at what you were wearing. Jeans. Yikes. You can't sleep in jeans.

“Do you want me to leave so you can change?” he asks, reaching for the door handle.

“Um yeah sorta” you giggle shyly, he smiles.

“Just knock when you're ready” he says, stepping out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. You quickly pull your clothes off and toss them in your laundry basket before grabbing light blue pajama shorts that had little red cherries patterned across them, then you grabbed the matching blue tank top and took off your makeup with some wipes you kept in your drawer. You let your hair down and checked yourself in the mirror before knocking twice on the door.

“I'm done” you chime. Josh steps back in, his eyes fall down your body and his facial expression softens.

“Still pretty” he says brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. Your body warms to his touch. It was so gentle and soft, you look down, smiling to yourself.

“Are you gonna change?” you ask realizing he's wearing jeans too.

“Well I usually sleep in my boxers” he says, not breaking eye contact with you.

“That's fine, whatever's comfortable” you reply walking gover to your bed and sliding in. Josh starts to undo his belt and he lets his pants fall to his ankles before stepping out of them and pulling his shirt over his head. His body was a wonderful olive tone and he had a thin trail of  hair that led from his belly button to his… you know.

Your face flushes as you think more about how undeniably sexy he iis. He smiled almost like he could hear your thoughts.

“I'll get the light” he says, switching it off. Then there was darkness. You felt his body slide in bed next to you, immediately warming you. His smooth skin brushed against yours as he turned on his side to face you. His hand lifted to your face and he strokes your cheek with his thumb gracefully.

“This feels….right” his voice breaks the silence and floats in your ears.

“Yeah it does” you admit, he couldn't see it, but you had a huge smile on your face. Your bedroom window is wide open and it began to rain agoian outside, you could hear every droplet splash against the ground and the wind blew gently through the trees. The wind blew through the window sending a chill through your room. You got goosebumps and shook slightly. Instantly Josh wrapped his arm around your side and pulled you into his chest. His delicious cologne still lingering on his body. His warmth and the comfort of his touch had you sleeping almost instantaneously.

“Goodnight y/n” he said softly, his fingers tracing a pattern on your back.

“Goodnight Josh” you reply tiredly. You wondered what Jake and your friend were doing, they must have fallen asleep or were watching a movie because you couldn't hear them in the living room, you fell asleep trying to decide.

You were jolted awake by Josh who jumped out of your bed.

“What's wrong?” you ask as you sit up rubbing your eyes. You could hear him quickly pulling his jeans back on .

“Hey, go back to sleep, I just, I have to go,” he says, putting his shirt on.

“It's your girlfriend isn't it?” you question, he sighs and sits on your bed.

“Yea she called me like twenty times, it's already 10am….I should go” he says reluctantly. You nod, you didn't want him to leave but it really wasn't up to you.

“Okay” you say softly

“Hey….” he says getting closer to you, his fingers gently grab your face and he kisses you passionately. His lips are soft and hungry, he leans over you slightly as if he's trying to savor every last taste of you, but the two of you battle for power, he wins. His thumb strokes your cheek and he pulls away softly, your face still in his hands, your foreheads rested gently against each other’s. His eyes searched yours for forgiveness.

“I'll text you as soon as I can” he assures. You nod as he gets off your bed and heads for the door. He offers you one last smile before he disappears down the hall. You fall back on your pillow with an exhausted sigh. His warmth still imprinted on the sheets and his smell still drifting through the air.

[im-not-a-joke]

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?  

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you. 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

[no-no-no-ahhhh]

I'm having bad anxiety so I'm just going to answer these questions rn

Okay so when having anxiety I over think and I barely have any friends so I thought if using these questions to keep my mind off things and it kinda works it's also why some are long because I'm trying my best to think about other things then my stress. Maybe some of yall can try this if you want. Could help idk

Questions belong to @tr33-g1rl

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

I LOVE chocolate bro

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy because let's all be honest bubble gum doesn't even tast good so that just leaves texture and cotton candy dissolves abs you could always have normal gum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Some would say nice hard working smart and dyslexic but that's what they say not actually think

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I've never really had the soda bottles but for now Ig soda cans because I feel like it keeps it fresher then the plastic and plastic is bad

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Umm out of all these ig tomboy my style that I try to go for more rn is kinda like bille eyelash baddie style

7. earbuds or headphones?

Def earbuds cuz headphones if left on too long start hurting and squeezing my head

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows 100% I cant consum media for long (my anxiety)so cartoons are the best for me because they're usually 11 minutes and light hearted

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Hmm this is good question in my head summer looks so good ahh but I've never really had a sent for it cuz the past few years I've been in my room but I love the sun oh and you know when your about to go in the pool and you can smell the Clorox mixed with the sun block and that smell just smells like a soft nice energy and there is this one tropical sent havent really smelt it in years I remember the one time I got to smell it was in middle school in the girls locker room so ig it was a perfume idk if it was really associated with summer or it was just tropical perfume my mom could spray on anytime of the year

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Lol none I hated p.e I was also pretty tall at the time so people expected me to play but I just wanted to hide in the corner

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Well I don't really like breakfast that much I think food in the morning makes me nauseous but I have to eat it cuz I can't eat school lunch food cuz that shit is nasty but breakfast school food is 😉 so I usually get banana bread and good ass duch chocolate milk

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Por Vida is one of my favorite albums if that counts

13. lanyard or key ring?

I hate things being around my neck so key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Mexican candy

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The outsiders

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Your butt relaxing ig and not hunched over idk how some people do their work not hunched over like how do you see what your working on

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

These white Adidas with 3 halo strips and tan boots

18. ideal weather?

To wear you can soak in the sun but not have it burn you right when you go outside and kinda breezy not a fan of the cold and whatever weather that isn't effected by global warming is the best

19. sleeping position?

I always try not to sleep on my back cuz then they say that the demons come for you

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

I have a lot of journals and books to write

21. obsession from childhood?

My little pet shops, barbies, fnaf, teen titans, monster high dolls, beanie babes, never brats or the ever after high dolls cuz I had a fear of big heads as a kid

22. role model?

Em their are not many people to look up to these days but Quenlin Blackwell is even though she struggles with depression and seasonal depression she still is a qween love her

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

Hmm maybe amethyst one of the only ones I have

25. first song you remember hearing?

No idea

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Be in the sun

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Not have the seasonal depression come for me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade bro tea is kinda weak and for BrItish blocks , but today I did have a bunch of lemons and they got me sick cuz I dont have a healthy balanced diet if anybody knows simple healthy recipes that have little to no cooking pls share

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

I've never actually have had lemon pie but I have been thinking about making pie. I've had peacon pie and water burger apple pie and McDonald's apple pie and I think another fast food pie but I can't remember the flavor. I know the other flavor exist because my mom order a different pie flavor from me once and she said we can both try each others. Maybe it was lemon. I think lemon tast is quit forgettable thow idk I always put other things on my lemon and lemonade has all that sugar and speaking of Britain I think they carbonate their lemons . But I think I've only had lemon cake 2 times , so if the cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

School is lame and that's on period pooh

41. last person you texted?

Umm this girl I barely know and I'm going to leave it at that cuz this story makes me kinda sad and worried and I'm answering these questions to avoid that

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Hmm good question , I think jacket because they are bigger and girl Jean's have the pockets different to make the booty look better and sometimes that leads to uncomfortable pockets and front pockets barely exit for girls and jackets sometimes have those secret pockets only you have assess too like the ones on the inside and jacket pockets are bigger

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

1. hoodies are good for when you dont have a bra on and they come with one BIG pocket and you dont need to worry about a shirt

2. Leather jackets are for cool kidz and carry a nice vibe and still thick enough to keep you warm , but you can't really get them wet I think so you can't wash em , but they can come with cool designs on the back but their better fitted on perfectly on a person and if you grow they just look odd on you then you have to buy another and that's not fun

3.Bomber jacket , it's a whole style but one I try to pull of but just cant do it well

4.Cardigans kinda umm not a fan but good if your wearing a dress that's shows your shoulders and you are insecure about that being shown. Remember when somewhere in the 2000s they told us that cardigans where so easy to put on and throw more into your outfit so people bought quit a few. I do

5.I feel like jeans jackets aren't warm enough maybe their more for the summer?

44. favorite scent for soap?

Hmm maybe something tropical or just those cool lavender ones that have oats that's cool I like oats in my soap

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

I hate sci-fi uhhhg and super hero kinda ties in with that so fantasy and when reading fan fic just sweet simple domestic fluff

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Hmm not sure but the shirt has to be soft. I only experience soft shirts like that few times in my life

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mexican cheese and blue cheese uhg and mozzarella with that crust, yum🤤

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Errrum maybe a watermelon cuz they are very hydrated. Oh and watermelon with the big black seeds is better then that soul less watermelon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

None dawg I really need to find one but I do have a lot written down In a book

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Omg my aunt had some funny looking ass dogs I couldn't stop laughing. One of her dogs hate me tho now

51. current stresses? I dont want to talk about it cuz I dont want to worry but I was crying for more then 6 hours probably 8 when I think about it and then today as well and it's so bad I'm not even going to school

52. favorite font? I like the one kali uchis uses in one of her albums I think it's called fairy tell or something

53. what is the current state of your hands?pretty dry cuz I wash them alot and kinda long nails cuz of genetics

54. what did you learn from your first job?

I havent had a first job

55. favorite fairy tale?

Hmmm something with the tooth fairy

56. favorite tradition?

Idk holidays cuz I get school off

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Depression and I would say anxiety but no

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I dont have any talents

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Uuuuyg idk too stressed to really think that I dont even know what type of video game I would be in

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

nothing stressful maybe something calm like a farm anime, some light magic, pokemon things like that

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

I was never ment to live life like a sim - megan the stallion

62. seven characters you relate to?

Anybody with anxiety, kinda pearl from Steven universe, the nerdy part of dipper from gravity falls , Roman from sander sides if virgil too sense he has anxiety okay and that's all I can think of I think early I said I dont really watch media or stuff so yeah

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Gosolina kali uchis songs and bank account that's all I can think about rn

64. favorite website from your childhood?64. favorite website from your childhood?

Y8 brooo oh and there was Disney or Nickelodeon websites you know that show with the hands and they had the googly eyes they had a g as new for that loved it and for Disney they had zack and cody games on their website and it's not a website but the one thing on windows that would work without wifi you know and you could make cakes and give them faces and try matching the cards

65. any permanent scars?

One time a cat scratched me more the like 8 years ago and I can still faintly see the mark

66. favorite flower(s)?

The one that grows on the cactus

67. good luck charms?

I know a rabbits foot is one and 4 leaf clovers,and markipliers flannel. I sadly dont have any personal good luck charms

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I don't want to talk about bad foods rn cut the cameras

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

idk I think I can vaguely remember every facts orgin that I know

70. left or right handed?

Basic right handed but my dad used to be left but then the school forced him to be right

71. least favorite pattern?

Anything 80s uhg that shit is disgusting and terrifying

72. worst subject?

Chemistry but I just got out of that so that's fun

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

People day hot cheetos and sour cream is odd but I like it . I would wat some rn but I think I got sick cuz of my poor diet so I'm not. Someone pls suggested simple easy foods for your girl who can cook

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

1 I am big baby

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I dont know

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Tater tots are good and fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Idk no green thumb

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Idk ig coffee

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Theirs a difference?

82. pc or console?

Console it's just simpler

83. writing or drawing?

Uhhheg ig drawing I'm bad at grammar

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcast, podcast are just more plans out then talk radio and talk radio is a morning thing and I'm not the biggest fan of mornings

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales mythology kinda ruff ya know

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies their just more sturdy and their is always normal cake

87. your greatest fear?

Tooo many things and I'm having an anxiety attack right now so like no

88. your greatest wish?

Well it's cute and all idk to live peacefully is one part the other parts a secret for now

X.o.x.o gossip girl ya know ya love me

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Umm maybe myself Idk

90. luckiest mistake?

One time my mom ordered a foam sord for my brother and a real one came. It was some anime sword

91. boxes or bags?

Bags cuz they look cute and you can take em every where with you. Disposable I would have to say boxes tho because its less damaging to the environment

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight is so warm and it fills something inside of me makes me feel cozy

Lamps are great for when sleeping and your scared of the dark

Fairy lights are cute but are they neccessary

Overhead lights are good for when you just need light in your life

Am I the only one who gets sad and sometimes cant clean if it's dark in the house?

94. favorite season?

Summer I think. I know it's harder for me to function in the winter cuz depression but then summer is anxiety sometimes ya know

95. favorite app on your phone?

Littetly no idea I don't really love/like the things on my phone if their more distractions or time wasters but I do love how I can search up useful things on YouTube to try to calm down my anxiety and I was definitely not a fan of tumblr at all but I kind have made it my safe place a bit

96. desktop background?

Well the computers my dad's so it has deadpool on i

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Barely 2 ,I am kinda a dummy sorry unggv

98. favorite historical era?

Well idk heehaww cowboys?

[neuropathicgypsy]

I pick my battles wisely

Like tonight at a restaurant they totally ignored me for an hour and it was irritating.

The owner brought us drinks and i had told him we were ready to order but he never took our order.

The kitchen was a mess and other people had waited an hour for food, So i was chill as it wasn't just us...

As i Sat i found out they fired a waitress because they thought she wasn't any good..,, but turns out she was fine the kitchen was messing up when it was busy.

So i told him, you need to hire that girl back and hire another cook in addition to what you have...

This is after i already got attitude, walked up to the counter, asked the waitress to take my order, was told to wait... She waited on a table waiting longer than me and then finally she told the owner, "go take their order! Do something! Help me!"

So finally after he got his emotions under himself he did.... And After i yelled at him from across the restaurant because he told the waitress my order had been taken.

No way dude. She's not fucked up sir

The waitress wasn't that great I'll say... She was as good as me... And she had said more than once (to the kitchen) she was ready to quit.

I think she could had done more orders while waiting on the kitchen to fix their fuck ups rather than standing over them. Yet at the same time... Its like having a kid that colors on the walls... You cant just run around leaving a box of Crayolas next to them, unattended.

The owner brought our drinks, wrote it down and then instead of taking my order was literally running around literally running, doing drinks... And he weirdly poured lemonade into a glass then back into the pitcher then took the pitcher... Idk what that was about... I thought it was janky.

We could had left and got some other food elsewhere but i wanted the food from that particular restaurant. And we could even had left my unopened can of coke and paid for her bottle drink with cash on the table.

But i wanted to wait.

So instead of just being aggravated and bitchy, I listened. And I found the solution.

So to say i pick my battles wisely isn't so much a thing as i wisely battle battles.

Sometimes I do stupid shit and sometimes i mess things up. But when i do, i try to fix it.

We didn't ever get served our free chips and salsa but I did leave a tip of $2.84 as our food was $17 and i told her to keep the change from our $20.

Because I didn't feel sorry for her. I know she did the best she could, i could hear her from our table, right next to her station, complaining and trying to get every one their food. By the time we got there "timely" wasn't an option and they rudely didn't even offer free beverages although they could had, easily.

But because she did the best she could do under the circumstances. When we went in she was bitchy and nearly just flat out rude to us, clearly showing no interest in waiting on us (or actually being able to).

And as the problems got solved; She was like a whole new person. Clearly happier and less stressed. And by then not so much wanting to quit but willing to settle for a cigarette.

Sometimes we Don't get what we want. I knew she would be at least an hour before she smoked... If not longer.

We had to wait an hour for our order to be taken but then just a few minutes for our food to cook, like 15 or so.

Then we were done in like 10

Sometimes success isn't what you think it is, sometimes success is just really what it is. Making it through an hour of a day alive and well.

I also noticed on the table next to us, an order ticket book, with a pen shoved in it to keep the page on top of a cell phone.

Obviously someone had stopped what they were doing to take care of something.

Tonight I was one of those things.

And so while I yelled at the owner with an attitude only i can have all straight outta Brooklyn, I did appreciate what was done for us to have dinner.

That's one thing i hate about blogging. That i rarely put that across. Usually I only say something at the end of bitching someone out or not at all.

That's because I don't feel valued as a human. And so i don't write often. And its actually why i had quit when i began memories of Matthew Hagan. I had been wanting to quit for a long time. So i did.

Maybe it didn't suit Matt well. Idk. But in the end i found out it was safer for us that i didn't.

(Jesse has a Dick by the way. Cookie was tired of me being nice to him and being ignored so Cookie showed him what he was missing out on. Give him some of that good old media hes used to. Jesse says he looked in the mirror real good 4 times to make sure his eyes worked proper. LMAO. Its pretty fucked up weird how a certain detective started giving him shit after he read that about Jesse. Yet didn't do a thing when Jesse was being victimized)

So my point is that i am who I am and i act the way i act and i don't have a problem with it.

So y'all in my insta DMs all trying to fuck with me, You're obviously needing a solution to your life. And it's gonna be one that I see you need. Not what you think success with me would be.

So heed this as your clearly stated warning or continue trying to steer the Titanic, cause you're gonna sink, no matter who you are or what you want. Because, to me, that is clearly the ending with the way I'm being treated.

[tylerwritez]

Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m.  sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

        Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero  cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad.  But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt  justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking  about  random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

[hundredsunny]

op oc #3: APRIL

im baaaaaaack

u are about to read about my prime DAUGHTER april. the rogue princess. a real pokemon! hahahhahaha she nabbed herself the AURA AURA FRUIT yo this is wild so get ready to learn about ol’ blue eyes!!!!!!!!!!

NAME: april (i dont have a surname for her i cant think of anything and ive had her for 8 years im sorry) EPITHET: “aura shooter” ooOOoOOoOoo AGE: 18 (pre) 20 (post) BIRTHDAY: april (incredible would u have ever guessed) 5th!!!  BIRTHPLACE: nimbasa island in the south blue SEX: female HEIGHT: 5′6″ WEIGHT: 122lbs HAIR COLOR: sandy brown EYE COLOR: blue APPEARANCE: before she escaped her home, she wore an icy blue dress underneath a navy blue cloak and her hair down with a CROWN of course but she hated wearing it a lot. her hair when worn down reaches the middle of her biceps. after she escaped she ONLY wore her hair in a ponytail and she always wore a red bandanna with a white arch atop her head at all times!! it was a gift from her mamma the QUEEN herself. she also wore a white t-shirt with red triangles bordering the collar and the ends of her sleeves. does that make sense? i sure hope. she wore a red sash around her waist and then she popped on some black pants and boots. real piratey. also some of her hair kinda pops out in the front so theres a good chunk that sometimes covers her left side. look at u go princess. AFTER the timeskip she cut her hair so it reaches just above her shoulders, and instead of wearing her hair up and with the bandanna, she wears it down but with a black headband. her bandanna is tied around her left bicep (fashion inspo: zoro). she wears a green sleeveless crop top, and theres a scar that reaches from the back of her shoulder to the end of her collarbone. she earned that shit from her wild timeskip training. oof. shes ok. she wears light-washed pants and some addidas-lookin shoes lmao she also wears a rly loose belt too. also she has gold earrings and thas about it. her eyes are round and just v pretty and blue. her nose turns up at the end just a tad bit and it’s so cute she’s so cute. she has a dimple on the right side of her mouth. her mommas face :’) shes fairly skinny but after the timeskip she gained some muscles made 4 punching douchecanoes  REPRESENTATIVE SMELL: vanilla FAVE FOOD: pasta FAVE DRINK: lemonade  FAVE SEASON: fall REPRESENTATIVE NATIONALITY: australian BOUNTY: initial bounty was 60,000,000 (for being runaway royalty) but after dressrosa she SKRTED up to 155,000,000 DEVIL FRUIT: aura aura fruit a paramecia type. the fruit allows the user to manipulate their energy. with the aura aura fruit, users are able to detect the aura of others, repel the aura of others, and project their own. the power of aura is mood-sensitive and can change a lot. can u believe april is lucario 6 forms of aura: red is physical nature, orange is intelligence, yellow is sheer willpower, green is healing, blue is emotion, vioilet(i THINK) is mental communication. i forgot what i wrote down for the aura types lmaoooo the biggest drawback of this fruit is that the user can only use a limited amount at one time. another drawback is that they cant manipulate other people’s aura??? it’s rly hard to explain this but trust me it makes sense when it’s put into action i promise SKILLS SET: most of her attacks are used with red aura since it relates to physical nature. wild. “aura bullet” is just shootin aura goodbye. i love pokemon. lmao. uh “aura detect” is when she can see what someone else’s aura looks like, so basically she can determine if someone is a bastard or not before they even open their mouth. “aura clone” clones herself with aura and that takes a LOT of effort to pull this one off especially when she wants to use multiple clones. “aura bomb” yo this one is wild she uses it for diversions and escaping since it kinda acts as a smoke bomb but when she uses this thing in battle OOOOH BOY. “starstorm” ok this is like the “im going to die after i do this move” kinda thing. it combines all the damn types of aura and it just RAINS down on ppl. goodbye april. anyways there are more basic moves but i dont rly wanna get too into that rn im sorry PROFESSION: runaway princess lol CREW: straw hat pirates  PERSONALITY: an easygoing girl. v mellow for the most part but there are times where she can get pretty goofy (thanks jack). if the wrong buttons are pushed, she becomes a HURRICANE. she does have confidence issues but since she met luffy, she’s really started to overcome them. shes got a horrible habit of being sarcastic and also she asks a LOT of questions holy SHIT honey. she is TERRIFIED of heights so when franky lays down a good ol coup de burst, her soul leaves her body. g o o d b y e. she was very cold when she first met luffy and the gang bc she lived with the person who killed her mom AND jack left sooooo she was a little bitter. eventually she learned to rly live with the mugiwaras. when she first joined the crew, she was very shy and timid and tried hard to fit in. she was SO intimidated by zoro like he genuinely scared the fuck out of her so she always tried hard to not be a Fool around him but once she got comfortable with everyone she just had a good ol time. “hey grassy ass!! :))” “can u fucking not call me that”. she has the CUTEST laugh oh me oh my. honestly just a rly passionate gal, she just wants to be strong and be able to protect her pals. refuses outside help. bros out with luffy and usopp and chopper sometimes but also judges them from afar like nami does. it all just depends on the day. truly. i once wrote a series of one-shots where each one was an adventure that april had with one other straw hat. luffy was the first one, and THAT was wild. zoro’s was fucking baller. so on and so forth. rly shows off her dynamic with each member. april? shes honestly just a good person and im proud of her bc she works so hard  LIKES: training, traveling, every single animal ever, reading DISLIKES: heights, the marines, the heat, people who walk horrifically slow in crowded places WEAPON(S): aside from her devil fruit shes got a dagger she sometimes uses. jack gave one to her right before he left HISTORY: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO king jed and queen serena had a baby girl. APRIL. that made her the princess. anyways she grew up as any princess would--spoiled. however the spoiling never got to her head bc serena was so good about teaching her things like that. serena was a goddess i love her pls come back. serena was wildly popular with the citizens of the kingdom bc of her caring and friendly personality. she would always take april into the kingdom every day and pay visits to the citizens. out of all the citizens they paid visits to, the most common faces she saw were those of the solo family. cain was jed’s most talented and trusted knight. he and his wife celeste had 2 kids: jack and sho YO. jack was 7 yrs older than sho and 3 yrs older than april. april and jack became fast friends and often explored the kingdom together. regular kid stuff u know. jack’s mom was always like “jack NO u CANNOT take the PRINCESS to the farms thats FILTY” hahahah but they went anyway.  jed? a dark man. idk who hurt him or what made him so murderous. but. he was tired of serena treating the citizens like equals. he believed that royalty should be viewed as gods.  when april was 8 jed killed serena oh god there it is theres the tragic anime mom death. as soon as serena died, the dynamic of the kingdom instantly changed. soon after jed took total control, people began leaving the island. eventually, the island became so empty that only a handful of families remained. jed did not allow april to leave the castle at all, and with that rule, it damaged the friendship that she and jack had. ofc around that time jack’s dad ran off as well so he stopped tryin to visit her for a bit. but then once he got back into his groove hed sneak all about, avoiding the night patrols, and hed just sit outside of april’s window and talk to her.  when april was 11 she discovered a devil fruit hidden away in the trashed artifacts that belonged to her mother. she ate the devil fruit and was like “now im strong, fight me JED” but lol she got her ass whooped poor bby when april was 16 jack left the island, leaving her completely and utterly alone. the exposure to such loneliness began to change april into a more reserved, bitter person.  2 yrs later the STRAW HATS stumbled upon the island. at that time april had started a habit of sneaking out of the castle to roam the empty streets of nimbasa, but during one of her strolls, she encountered robin, franky, and brook. she ended up knocking them unconscious bc she felt threatened. the second group she met consisted of zoro, chopper, and sanji. they had been captured by guards and were brought into the throne room to be interrogated by jed. april was required to be there as well so she kinda sat in her throne and looked mad the entire time. sanji was like “NO WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO MAD SHE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY” and zoro was like “ive never seen someone so happy to see my face” and chopper was just having a crisis bc they were abt to be tossed into the shadow realm at the hands of the king. zoro got mouthy and jed didnt have none of that shit so he told april to kill zoro but she just knocked him out instead. that pissed jed off. THE NEXT person she met was luffy. she only met luffy bc he infiltrated a banquet thing by sitting underneath a cart. classic luffy. she didnt meet nami and usopp until WAAAAY later. yadda yadda yadda shit goes down (i wrote a whole arc for this. it’s called the princess and the pirates lmao original but yes i wrote an entire arc for her recruitment and it’s A Lot) ANYWAYS luffy asked her to join the crew but she declined at first bc she thought pirates were just like her father: power-hungry and murderous. however that obv changed when she was exposed to the straw hats more when luffy defeated jed who ate the ___ ___ fruit (tbh i forgot what fruit he ate im sorry) she KNEW she belonged with the straw hats. :’) she still be sailin with the legends. shes had some wild times obv. her arc comes a bit after thriller bark. woopie!!!!!!! like always, lemme know if u wanna know more about her!!!

[lost-little-fawn]

10 things im thinking about right now (aug 7)

1 how theres so many people on earth and how so many

of them do not know i exist, will never know i exist,

how even the people that have heard of me will

with time, forget me and eventually how i will fade.

2 how when i was in res a man took one look at my case history

and decided he knew things about me that i didnt know about myself

and how alot of these things were false: but i believed them

mostly because i just wanted to go home.

3 how when im not thinking about food and im busy

           its just so easy (waif and skinny, permanently breathing

           in sunshine, permanently empty, just like the glossy girls)

 but the second i think “i think im hungry” it all falls down

4 how i dont even want to know what hes doing right now

except i want to know, i need to know, but i cant know,

except one of them is married (?) one of them is dead

(not confirmed) and one of them is rotting (except

what if hes not and he escaped and hes on his way to me

with shark teeth and the same voice and the same words

5 how since he got clean my first abuser became a paragon

and he stayed, refused the college his mama worked hard

to afford and got some poor sunflower girl pregnant.

just like he got me pregnant. why did she get to keep it?

6 how i want lemonade, i have lemonade, but the calories

grip me with fear and the count alone makes me want to cry

and i dont eat past 10pm anyway. no matter that lemonade

isnt “eating.” i already brushed my teeth. tomorrow.

tomorrow ill drink the lemonade and cry.

7 how the pills i take make me gag and cringe, and i dont think theyre helping

but if i stopped cold turkey like last time id go straight to hospital

i hate taking them and i dont feel any different. whats stopping me

from massacring myself is sheer force of will. nothing else.

8 how i long to flay myself like a fish, see the inside parts that

everyone wants to keep from me. seeing it on someone else

isnt nearly as satisfying. i want to zip myself open, with a blade,

with my teeth, with a rusty butter knife, with anything i can reach.

my old pictures fill me with thoughts of how i can do so. much. worse.  

9 if he isnt dead then why havent i heard anything about him?

his roommate said he never got his stuff, (including the drugs)

and thats not like him. occasionally i search obituaries but

i didnt even know his name... i wish i just knew.

10 i tire for sleep but im wide awake reading trash fanfiction and

wasting time on youtube. wasting time. the sooner i sleep

the sooner tomorrow comes, and the sooner another day

of doing nothing, of struggling to stay clean, of sleeping

until 3pm and crying in the pantry, of useless.

[atrashmouthsed]

Keith's Brother

Oneshot by a-latino-fangirl *please don’t repost without credit!* Big thanks to @mattholtsbf for helping me with a few of the ideas!! This idea is loosely based on the song “Stacy’s mom.”

Matt strummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he sighed. ‘Stupid Pidge wanting that stupid book on stupid cryptids for her stupid friend.’ Not knowing why he did anything for his sister Matt continued to curse at the red light. “Come on! FUCKING TURN GREEN ALREADY!” Mom was totally picking Pidge up next time.

The light finally turned green and Matt sped off. Checking the clock on his dashboard Matt cursed again, Pidge got out of school twenty minutes ago. Seeing the sign for the high school up ahead Matt forwent his blinker and turned in, scarring the crap out of some crows in the process. Driving to the parent pick up lane Matt hit the brakes when he saw a crowd to the left of a very expensive looking car. Although at a distance Matt could tell it was a black Camaro convertible. Driving closer to get a better view Matt felt his entire world freeze when a very buff drink of water decided to get out of the car at that exact moment.

Matt tried to swallow. He really really tried. But with this living god of muscle he found it very hard to even remember blinking. The man in question didn’t look to be over 23. His hair had a tuff of white at the top with the rest black and cut pretty short. Matt figured he must of come from a run because he wore the smallest, tightest shorts known to man, and by god did they hug everything the right way.

The man didn’t seem to notice the small crowd surrounding his car as he opened the trunk and waved to someone. Matt looked over and saw a tall boy who was in dire need of a haircut wave back then look behind him, mouth something, then wall towards the car. It was then Matt noticed Pidge amongst all the chaos. She gave a wave to The one in need of a haircut and the hot guy before looking in Matt’s direction. Giving him a smile she walked over to his car. Forgetting the book entirely, Matt hoped she hadn’t seen him gawking the man who apparently was related to her friend.

*** Matt somehow got sucked into picking Katie up from Keith’s house. (According to Pidge, he who needs a haircut has a name.) Matt, however, was perfectly content beating 7 year olds in Overwatch but mom and dad were running late from a conference and since Matt just happened to be home and not have school scheduled that day he was bestowed the task of pick up.

Pausing his game, Matt went to the bathroom real quick to make sure he looked presentable. Grabbing his glasses and keys Matt left the house, texting Pidge for Keith’s address.

Matt thanked Keith for living close by. Pulling up to the house Matt saw a few potted plants on the porch and that familiar Camaro parked in the driveway. ‘No fucking way.’ Parking in front of the house Matt prayed to whatever god was up there that the earth would swallow him hole. His prayer went unanswered of course as he found himself in front of Keith’s front door.

Knocking three times Matt stood there with his hands in his jean pockets. He heard someone yell 'coming’ followed by a few thumps and finally the door being swung open. Matt felt the air get knocked out of him because of course the hot guy had to answer.

“Uh.. Uhm hi I’m Matt, Pidge’s brother.” The guy gave Matt the brightest smile he’d every seen and he swore he saw stars. “Yes! Of course hi! I’m Shiro, Keith’s brother.” Shiro held his hand out for Matt to shake and Matt surprised himself that he even had the brain power to complete the action.

“Can I come in?” Shiro immediately blushed at that. “Oh jeez yeah of course sorry Uhm I was just in the middle of cleaning so excuse the mess.” Widening the door for Matt to walk through, Matt nodded his head at Shiro then took his shoes off. “I think Keith and Pidge are in the basement. You can head down there if you want. I just need to finish the bathroom upstairs.” Matt mumbled out an okay and Shiro pointed toward the stairs that led to the basement. Walking down Matt looked back and noticed that Shiro’s right arm was replaced with a metal prosthetic.

*** Two weeks later Matt found himself having to pick Katie up yet again from Keith’s house. Matt wasn’t complaining in the slightest to be honest. Matt jumped at any excuse to see Shiro. Making sure to shower before he left, Matt put on a pair of blue skinny jeans and a tie dye tank top with an alien on it. (It was a present from Pidge okay?) Deciding to put his contacts in instead Matt noticed he was running five minutes late due to it. “Shit” Matt ran down the stairs and scrambled to find his keys. “Matt don’t forget your keys are on the kitchen table!” Matt looked over on the table and sure enough his keys were there. “Thanks mom! I’ll be back!!” Matt slammed the door shut behind him.

It wasn’t until Matt was in front of Keith’s house did he realize he didn’t put shoes on. 'Great I ran out barefoot. Just. Fucking. Great.’ Matt sighed and got out of the car; he still had a sister to pick up.

Walking up to the front door, Matt knocked three times like before and waited. When he didn’t hear anything for a minute he tried the doorbell. When he still received nothing he texted Pidge asking where she was. She responded almost immediately with 'backyard. Gates open’

Matt was unprepared with what he saw upon opening the gate. Pidge and Keith were lounging on the porch drinking lemonade but that’s not what stopped Matt. No it just so happened to be Shiro. Shirtless. Sweaty. Wearing those stupid shorts again. And mowing the lawn. Matt needed some water. Like now. Shiro looked up and at Matt as if sensing he was there. Giving him another award winning smile Matt felt himself crumble and feeling the need to jump in a lake. Trying to muster something in return Matt instead saw Pidge walking towards him. Not knowing what else to do Matt grabbed his sisters hand and practically dragged her to the car. Matt missed the sad puppy dog look Shiro shot in his direction.

*** Matt didn’t speak the first minute they were alone. Pidge was giving Matt the biggest shit eating grin she could muster and Matt knew it yet he chose to ignore it.

“So uh, you wanna talk about some things brother mine?” Matt gripped the steering wheel tighter than before. “I have to say, Shiro was looking pretty good in those shorts huh?” Matt bit his tongue. Pidge was playing a game she wouldn’t win. “So you gonna bang him or what?”

Matt slammed on the breaks. Pidge, not expecting it, shot forward. Glad he had stupid friends in high school Matt kicked Pidge out of the car and drove off. “MATT WHAT THE FUCK GET BACK HERE! I CANT WALK THE 7 MILES LEFT TO GET HOME!” Matt opened the window and gave his sister the middle finger. “FUCK YOU!”

Pidge remained calm despite being on the side of the road. Matt knew better than to do that to her. Pulling her phone out she texted Keith a very important video to show Shiro.

*** Keith wasn’t expecting the video Pidge sent him. Seeing her brother sing 'Barbie Girl’ while only wearing a pair a rainbow colored underwear and a broom as a microphone was not on his list of things to see. But when he saw that he was to show Shiro, he knew right away this was a revenge stunt.

“SHIRO COME HERE I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING!” Keith heard the heavy footsteps of his brother walking up the stairs. “Keith I swear to god if this is another mothman conspiracy I’m cancelling your Netflix account.” Keith shook his head. “This time, dear brother, my husband is not the topic of discussion.” Shoving his phone into Shiro’s face Keith watched as Shiro became more and more flushed with each passing second.

Once the video was finally over Keith took his phone back. In a split second Shiro grabbed Keith by his shoulders and very sternly said “If you dare send that video of me drunk pole dancing to the little Einstein’s theme song, I will destroy your entire knife collection.”

Keith almost shit himself.

*** Matt didn’t encounter Shiro for almost three weeks after the lawn mowing incident. Matt thought it best since he found out Pidge sent that video to Keith who in turn showed Shiro. Pidge still went over to Keith’s house but Matt made sure she had other means of getting home. Matt didn’t believe her when she said Shiro seemed upset when he didn’t come pick her up.

Today Matt’s luck ran out though. Because Shiro’s such a nice person and apparently takes cooking lessons (from another one of Pidge’s friends) he invited Pidge to stay for dinner. Which she agreed too. But only if her “bored” brother could attend.

So here he was, standing in front of his closet, deciding what to wear. Checking the weather he noted he didn’t want to wear pants. But shorts would show off his leg and he didn’t want that either. Sighing Matt decided to fuck it and wear shorts. Putting on a nice pumpkin colored polo, (and making sure to put on shoes) Matt was ready to roll.

Matt wished the drive took longer. Not even a little bit prepared for this dinner Matt opened the car door and headed up to the porch. Bringing his hand up to knock, the door opened abruptly.

“Matt! Come on in!” Shiro smiled and looked a little out of breathe. Matt blushed but forced a smile. “Hello Shiro. Thank you for letting me come.” Shiro gave another smile. “Of course! Thank you for actually showing up.” Matt noticed Shiro give him a quick look and paused; Matt immediately felt self conscious about his leg.

“Come on I’ll show you to the dining room.” Matt followed numbly, now wishing he could be home more than ever.

*** Shiro’s cooking was actually very good. Keith and Pidge kept everything very lighthearted and Matt found out Keith had a boyfriend named Lance who was currently visiting family with his family in Cuba.

Once dinner was over, Pidge and Keith immediately rushed downstairs. Something about having to finish their battle in Mortal Kombat. Matt glared at his sister as she left him alone. With Shiro.

“Would you like some help cleaning up?” Shiro gave a nod. “That’d be great thank you.” The silence that followed hurt more than Matts fifth grade emo phase. “Listen Matt I’m sorry about getting quiet after seeing your leg.” Matt stiffened a bit. “It’s fine. It’s normal I guess.” Shiro sighed. “No it’s not.” Turning around from the sink Shiro gave Matt a hard look. “It’s Galra right?” Matt dropped the plates he was holding.

*** It’s been three days since the dinner incident. Matt hasn’t left the comfort of his room in all that time. Pidge tried getting him to come out but he refused.

Matt was never the same after the Galra program. He never knew anyone else that was subjected to that torture. Mainly because it was a secret and they made sure to keep no one else around when they did their “extra credit.”

How could Matt have known? He was a freshman. He just wanted some good marks in his resume. He didn’t expect to lose a leg and end up feeling violated the rest of his life. And now this beautiful, tall, and muscular man who he finds very appealing went through the same torture he did. Matt could feel memories and nightmares creep up on him.

*** It was another three weeks before Matt mustered up the courage to go talk to Shiro. Showering at least before he left, Matt threw on whatever random clothes he found and left the house. It was a Saturday afternoon and he hoped Shiro wasn’t at work or whatever he does.

Arriving at the house Matt noticed Shiro sitting on the porch with a towel over his head and swim trunks on. Matt didn’t have time to oogle, he was here on a mission. Getting out of the car He noticed Shiro look up at the sudden noise.

Shiro didnt call out to him and Matt didn’t either. They just stared at each other as Matt walked up the sidewalk and up the wooden porch. Still staring at Shiro Matt finally noticed the small scar that ran across his nose.

“I’m sorry.” Shiro was the first to break the silence. “Matt could feel tears in his eyes already. “I’m sorry too.”

*** A week later things were normal with Matt. His talk with Shiro left him feeling more free then any therapy session, and at the end of it, all he got his number. He felt a little ashamed that that’s what he thinks about more. But since then they talked constantly and Matt could officially say he wouldn’t be opposed to banging Shiro. Of course Pidge over heard him say that out loud and almost texted Keith if he hadn’t tackled her.

It was a hot Monday and Matt wanted to be anywhere but college. Glad that he worked ahead in his classes, he decided he would go to the pool afterwards.

After the professor finally finished up his lecture, Matt grabbed his notes and sped out of class. After throwing everything in the backseat Matt drove home, grabbed his swim suit, and hopped back into his car.

The pool during this time of day wasn’t a very busy spot. Considering it was still the school year and one thirty pm, Matt didn’t count on seeing anybody else except senior citizens. Shit was he wrong.

Walking into the pool and showing his membership card Matt heard the familiar sounds of someone doing laps. Fast. Looking toward the farthest lane Matt dropped his bag. Of course, there was Shiro, swimming laps, like he couldn’t stop. Matt stood there watching him swim and could see how his muscles contracted and how his arms so expertly cut through the water. His flip turns were perfect and Matt tried really really hard not to stare at his back. He needed to hide, or else the nice lady registering people in was about to get a view she wouldn’t particularly enjoy.

Matt quickly grabbed his bag and ran toward the men’s locker room. At that exact moment Shiro chose to take a break, only to see a flustered Ginger run into the locker room. Smirking Shiro got out of the water.

Matt hid in the back of the locker room. No one else was in here and he needed to be able to drown a bottle a water without someone wondering whether he was okay or not. The answer would’ve been no anyways.

Shiro walked into the locker room. Honestly he didn’t know why he was listening to his brother and his boyfriend but they said he needed to confront Matt about, well whatever this was. Shiro liked Matt. Keith had over heard him say something rather obscene and busted out laughing. Shiro chased him for an hour around the house and yard before Keith promised he wouldn’t say anything after Shiro took his favorite knife captive.

Matt didn’t hear the footsteps. Standing up he didn’t feel the presence come up right behind him either. Matt squeaked when he was turned around and pushed against a wall rather forcefully. He would’ve taken this person down if it had been anyone else but Shiro.

“I believe we have something unspoken between us.”

Neither of them noticed when a custodian came in to clean but immediately walked out after seeing the two of them in a compromising position against the wall.

Fin.~

[mykie-hyun-blog]

❤️

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Id probably laugh 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? I love him & he doesnt love me 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? No, the guy I was talking about is and I dont care, everyone is a bloody druggie I just dont care anymore I love him as a person despite his addictions 4. Is your last name longer than six letters? Nope 5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober I think he was a little high still tho I wasnt high because i showed up late lol 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? I don't think I did anything wrong, he just doesnt get into relationships. But he didnt tell me until after I fell in love Cuntcunt I think about him every day 7. What does your last received text say? "I look shit in that photo and I still look better than her" Aha true 8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Many times 9. Where was your last kiss at? On the side of the street, it was a goodbye kiss :/ had no idea that would be my last kiss from him 10. When is the last time you saw your sister? Never lol 11. What do you drink in the morning? Pink lemonade lucozade 12. Where did you sleep last night? Bed 13. Do you think relationships are hard? They shouldnt be but most of them are aha me & my best friend atm just bond over our shit relationships. Theyre good to talk about. You need to spend one night with a friend deep talking about your life every once in a while. It clears your head & you might get some great advice 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? I dont remember that far 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Id probably cry lol I love him and part of me wants to be locked in a room with him gdi We'd end up kissing probably but I know he doesnt actually love me 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Depends,if im inside then rain but if im out sun 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Alot of people Its my grandmas name :) 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? None of the above 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? Probably 20. Does anyone like you? Yep 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? No 22. Is the last person you kissed gay? No 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Ya & she looks like she has acne braille on her forehead It says H-O-E 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? Yeah but only a small one 25. In the past week have you cried? Ya ive had a lot of deep talks 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Rat 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? Both because i love absolutely flooding the bathroom floor 28. Have you ever kissed a football player? Im going to Soon 29. Do you think you’re old? No 30. Do you like text messaging? Yaa good way to connect with people ..? 31. What type of day are you having? I dont remember Im pretty spaced out its good i think Boih i got my crushs snapchat AA Not the one i made out with another one i liked for a long time ❤️❤️❤️ SKKRR 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Ya i was going to idk though 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm :) 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Yeah...:( we dont talk anymore We made out 3 weeks ago tho 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? Definitely a relationship Flings fucking suck when you get attached 36. Are you a simple or complicated person? Complicated complicated 37. What song are you listening to? Slow hands~ This song was on repeat when i was deep talking..we had two last week because we're fucked up and i definitely need someone like her to talk to about him 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? Sometimes 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? I dont know..im v complicated The girl i was talking about knows alot i think..when i start talking deeply about myself & my problems i start crying Im not sad/depressed at all!! Like im good but im just reeally emotional and i cant help it 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? Well theres 2 I just cant explain....i just.....love them. With my entire heart. I'll talk about the one i fell in love with 3 weeks ago Hes hot but thats not why i like him. I love his personality. He's just....everything that id ever want. But i cant be with him. Forever is a long time to spend without him and i dont know if i can do that 41. When did you last receive a text message? An hour ago 42. What is wrong with you right now? -Anxiety -He doesnt care about me. He saw me first, even made an effort to show off in front of me lol. Looked at me like he genuinely loves me, we kissed a lot. And other things tmi, but he doesnt give a fuck clearly -I havent been eating since i found out, not because im starving myself i just physically cant eat. 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Shes the girl i was talking about before 44. Does anyone disgust you? Yep. Shes trying to take the guy i was talking about. Go fuck yourself She tried to ruin her best friends life, shes jealous of everything she has. Tried to take both her boyfriends (one after the other not @ the same time) I could go on 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? Yes yes Nothing feels real rn Theres like..a space between me and my emotions. Id be excited as helllll life would be amazing but theres like..a space.... 46. Are you in a good mood right now? No idea lol 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? . 48. What color shirt are you wearing? Im wearing a grey bodycon dress 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Him.. 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Kindof.. i cant help being in love 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? I just 53. Do you like rain? Yea 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? Dont care at all id date an alcoholic doesnt stop me loving them 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Ya my crush I might tell him soon but im so scared of telling him since the ordeal with the other guy..i can tell he likes me but im so paranoid If he says no i dont know what id do Like id stop eating completely probably 56. Do you like to cuddle? Yes!!! 57. Are you shy? 58. Do you get along with girls? Ya 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? No haha 60. What do you carry with you at all times? My..emotions....gum idk 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Bitch id do that for 5 dollars 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Of course :) 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Kindof haha Hes like..famous where i live and we were kinda a thing 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Yes :) 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? I dont really remember that far :/ idk My crush smiled that was cute 66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 15, 16, 15 My age so 67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Do myself bih 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Zebra 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Im 15 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Whos luke bryan 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? A while ago with friends it was amazing I had dominos last week tho, me & G (the gal i was talking about) ordered dominos :) we both struggle to eat after our /experiences/ and i came over 2 days later & we had the leftovers