#god ... im just sick of this though. i am. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crescentfool · 9 months

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not indicative of anything, just something silly i thought about! feel free to fill in the variables with whatever you like.

#lizzy speaks #HELLO TUMBLR. this question was brought to you by me from 1 AM who woke up in the middle of being sick #this was a genuine question i thought about. i joked around in my head that i was sick bc im clearly just a host for my little blorbos #but actually though i think i just had a silly little reaction to taking the flu shot #me playing sr with friends at reset with my beloved wife squiffy wondering 'why do i feel hot?' (completely forgot about the flu shot)#anyway! i hope you are all have an excellent weekend. please make sure to stay hydrated!#and feel free to rb with thoughts i need to see what everyone's relationship is with a parasitic god-like entity #not that the entity needs to be a parasite but yknow. i think its fun #also related but unrelated whenever im unwell i think about kitaro. im like. damn. he works so hard for SEES...#going and climbing through tartarus through all that even if it makes him sick.. ue ue ue he is everything to me

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i-mode · 1 year

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jsut caught up on dunmeshi starting to miss them again already

#im sorry im sick in the head. chilaios forevar in my heart #i cant believe theres just one chapter left where did the time go #im so freaking excited for the anime though. like ohmy god #I am not gonna be normal when the anime drops im sorry #dungeon meshi #text tag

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hella1975 · 1 year

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my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience #basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night #where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything #it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young #and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again #but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good #and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get #it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough #and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced #i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up #and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it #and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN #TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY #and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it #im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday #what is even going on anymore #also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do #actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk #and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd #i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3 #hella goes home

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perfectly-clear-from-here · 10 months

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following in alexs footsteps by getting absolutely riddled with laryngitis the ONE time i desperately need my voice 💪

#im supposed to be recording vocals tomorrow WHYYYYYYYYYYY #AND i have to record a voice part for my music technology project #ANDDDD i have to sing whitney houston for a pantomime in like a week HELP ME #thankfully though - im not in the middle of a world tour 😭#i have an immune system the equivalent to a wet piece of cling film oh my GOD why am i sick AGAIN #pray for my speedy recovery 🙏#god just seems to desperately want me to stfu 🤦🏻‍♀️#alex turner

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angelstrawbabie420 · 5 days

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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it

#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn #god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from #but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell #but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at #least become more resistant to it #i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE #and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless #it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19 #but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on #FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick #then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything #it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life #i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself #ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt #available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival #and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches #the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair #and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true #and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears #i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30 #it was all so sudden and quick and shocking #yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit #and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant #over this bullshit #it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies #everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS #it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm #it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.

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storywestistrash · 17 days

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got a sudden jolt of pain from my stomach to my chest but it made my guts not hurt for a moment? win?

#i am shaking though. in fear and terror and horror #i dont want to go to a doctor again just to be told that im fine and this is just a severe anxiety reaction :(#which it definitely is because like. the stomach pain isnt even a pain. im just aware that i have insides #my chest doesnt hurt anymore either. so its like. its literally just me stressing myself sick over??????? fuck if i know what #its happened before like half a year ago i had to go home early once because of how bad i was feeling #god if i end up waking up through the night shaking uncontrollably again i think ill actually lose my mind #ehhh sorry gang. im a yapper and a worrier it seems

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nnugatoryextravagance · 1 year

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Important warning I am sick in bed with a fever and what potentially might be covid again I am not responsible for anything I say about fictional robot men for about the next week or so until i recover

#sludgetalkz #sidenote i am hoping to god this is not covid round 4 even though its likely #please god ive had enough im sorry that my masks werent clean just stop making me sick YOU BITCH

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imflyingfish · 2 months

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hhhhhrrrrngggggggg

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boy-armageddon · 4 months

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Personally I think the little phenomenon w/ Johnny Whitney writing a just genuinely sort of devastating song once per every record or so (or twice! take, well, Take Me to the Sea 4 example. actually three times maybe. talking about specifically georgia + my organ sounds like… here and also bonetrees and a broken heart a little. also also As Brass And Satin just feels utterly melancholic in its near entirety) is that he just wakes up face down covered in blood in the studio, his own or someone else’s he can’t tell, shaking and grasping some shoddily scrawled out lyrics on a rlly very old piece of paper. The rest of the band might be like “johnny what the fuck happened” and he just springs 2 his feet like “oh haha nothing :> im fine don’t worry. nothing happened!!!!!!! anyways i have this cool new idea 4 a song wanna hear” and any time anyone tries 2 ask about it he immediately dodges the question and moves on2 a diff topic. He can explain what it’s about, but any time someone asks about the inspiration he gets nervous and is like “ohhh ummm. I 4got! Any other song though lol” and doesn’t wait 4 an answer. that’s just a theory though a Seattle theory

#evil neighing compilation #only exceptions I can think of r like… March on electric children and the rlly early bbs stuff. not vade though that stuffs filled w/#inexplicable sadness #I can’t say much regarding hologram jams or soiled life since I haven’t lsitened 2 them in full #‘r you 4 real saying that this adultery has a devastating song on there’ yes I am in fact! im singling out time for tenderness here. what #the hell happened 2 them when they were like 17-19 (that’s my guess 4 the age range anywho) 2 write that. is it just me who feels like that #about time for tenderness or #crimes. doesn’t make me feel sad per se. but the title track and beautiful horses I just. understand So Much it gets 2 me rlly bad #bpib should be obvious. the shame. but also every breath is a bomb once you know the context of who it was partially written about #especially Jordan’s part :-(#young machetes… actually not giant swan or street wars/exotic foxholes 4 me though I suppose I get the sense that I’m supposed 2 feel sad #about them #it’s camouflage camouflage 4 me!#what else what else. oh yeah Johnnys solo stuff. that entire little acoustic mixtape thingy is very sad feeling 2 me in some way #but esepcially at the end of the road there’s a sapphire pit. genuinely made me bawl my eyes out the other night. jfc it’s gr8 but it makes #me feel a little sick 2 my stomach sad #OH MY GOD I 4GOT. NEON BLONDE LOL #that’s also a p obvious choice. chandeliers and vines #it’s a sort of sarcastic song one could suppose. that’s true 4 a lot of Whitney’s work (especially in tbb though Tbf)#still sort of gets 2 me #ya know #done tags rambling my bad

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piplupod · 6 months

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i think what upsets me most, besides the fact that this means no more accordion unless i somehow miraculously get it fixed, is that despite my best efforts to be careful and not mess up, i still managed to make a mistake and fuck it up. despite understanding and appreciating how expensive and valuable and fragile this instrument is, despite my best efforts to keep it safe and in good condition, i still managed to mess up and damage it.

like ... I just mess up. I have something nice, something of value, and I cannot seem to keep it safe and taken care of. things end up ruined. shirts get holes, dresses get stains, electronics get battery acid leaking or cracked, dishes get broken, book pages get torn or bent, trinkets get chipped, instruments are bonked and rattled. i am so terrified of handling anything that things most often just stay sitting in lidded bins so they are safe from carpet beetles and dust and dirt and food and me.

i just feel awful, i dont understand why I can't just keep things safe and in good condition ?? why is this so impossible for me, especially when i care so much ??

#i think this is partially why i dont allow myself any good art supplies #I got a set of charcoals several years ago and I've barely touched them bc im terrified of fucking them up #but if i get smth from the dollar store? that stuff is getting used immediately #bc its cheap and its not very good quality #im not afraid of using things up. im afraid of ruining them #im such a careful person too but i just. always end up fucking up some time #idk what is wrong w me #this sounds so melodramatic but god im tired #i still feel sick that my nice shirt from the 70s got a tiny hole burned into it bc of fire sparks that i didnt know were around #like i just. cannot have nice things idk. i have the absolute worst luck it seems like. or maybe i just am not careful enough #idk how to be any more careful though honestly fhfkdl #like i either keep things stored away safely sealed up or i am exceedingly careful in handling them #and do everything i can think of and find out to make sure nothing happens #and yet !#i just feel like a massive idiot for this idk fhfmkl silly me to think i could be trusted w this instrument #there are some websites and videos teaching ppl how to fix accordions but... its complex #but i either attempt a fix myself or never play it again bc getting a professional is too expensive #so ... i guess I'll have to take the dive and tinker w it if i want even a chance at playing again #im just terrified I'll break it even further #also i dont think i have access to everything I'll need for fixing it depending on whats gone wrong #so idk if it'll even be possible even if its doable like. i need Tools and leather and felt #i have spare leather scraps but no felt :|#and no special pliers fjfkdl #argh argh im so upset w myself for this #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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bunnyb34r · 6 months

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Gonna go get a UTI sitting in the movies for 3 hours 🥰 #TreatYourselfTuesday

#marquilla #actually i regularly go 4 hrs not going bc i hate peeing at work agdgdgdggd every time i do something happens #one time someone was brushing their teeth (coworker). another a coworker LOUDLY banged on the shared wall in the stall #asked who was in there (mind you we are the only people in this bathroom. theres other stalls. we're both in stalls) and after i #answered they loudly went 'MAR I AM SO SICK OF THIS PLACE!!!' like you didnt have to know it was me 😭#another time the maintenance lady just started cleaning the floors while i was still in the bathroom and she knew i was there #and usually when i have to go/would be getting up to go thats when maintaince does their first cleaning of the day 😭 every time #i hate using it when we're open too like god people are animals what the fuck is your problem be nice to the bathroom stop smearing poop #on the wall 😭😭😭 i wish i was kidding #anyways im gonna go to the movies again finally even though i havent long enough that my brain is like eh im over that #like no! we are gonna go and have fun! it's only $6 for 3hrs of entertainment shut up brain

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yyyyyyayy · 9 months

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why is there no yaoi angst like madoka magica. boring. all the bl is the same "buff guy and weak ass smooch smooch" I want them to be in pain. I want one of them to become an eldritch being and have the other desperately try to stop them to the point of becoming one themselves. Where is my horror existential crisis yaoi.

#YAOI USED IN A JOKING WAY NOT THE SICK FREAK WAY IM ACE.#seriously though like the BL i see is all the same. its boring. ngl sorry everyone #even FISH yaoi as FUNNY as it is was predictable. but funny.#maybe i haven't read enough good bl cause the shit they reccomend on insta n stuff is just ok. at best. for me.#Mdzs was good but um. that incense burner chapter. oh and winter begonia (THE SHOW. NOT THE BOOK I DONT LIKE THE BOOK.)#has a gay boy kisser or whatever mfer ever written a bl or what. where are they . or are they not getting exposure?#God. i could go on about this forever but seriously. we need more. boy kisser stories WRITTEN by boy kissers REAL.#LIKE BOY KISSERS AS IN MLM NBLM YKNOW. *PLATONICALLY SHAKES THE AUDIENCE OF 5 HUMAN FOLLOWERS* DO YOU GET IT?#RANTING IN THE TAGS SORRY #yammers rants #I've got a bone to pick in the yaoi genre. and I am out for blood. /hj #*flips hair* soon they shall see *flips cape* *homura pose*

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hella1975 · 2 years

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wdym i had a nap yesterday and then slept nine hours last night and have done nothing but feel sorry for myself in bed today and im STILL TIRED?????

#there's one lecture i couldnt get out of bc we only have two computer classes as is AND they arent recorded for some inane reason #so i cant afford to miss it but my god the way im DRAGGING myself out of this bed #my eyes are so heavy i feel like i just woke up even though ive been up for HOURS #like i got nine hours last night bc i went to bed quite early DESPITE NAPPING TWO HOURS EARLIER #and just slept on and off until 11 even if i did get up at 5am and woke up at 9:30am #bc hello i cant BREATHE #like this is the most well-rested ive been in MONTHS why am i tired rn #and i have no motivation to do ANYTHING i want to write tams so bad this chapter is gonna be so sick #but i just CANT all my limbs are HEAVY im so SLEEPY snork mimimi when #and i have to do a 'topics in applied econometrics' COMPUTER CLASS???? FOR TWO HOURS???? kill die bite bite maim #hella goes to uni

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clios-purls · 1 year

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my colleague is vaping at the desk next to me and the windows in this office do not open and the vibes are all wrong and I am going to SCREAM

#i have been here 1 hour #this is why i called in sick last friday fuck this #i understand that i signed up for an admin/secretarial role #but frankly i resent it every time i am asked to format someone's document #I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE I AM CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST CHANGING YOUR FUCKING FONT WHICH FRANKLY IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU TWO SECONDS #TO DO YOURSELF #god we love being employed #the vaping is actually driving me up the wall i feel like i cant breathe in here #so many people do it in this office even though im pretty sure its illegal

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pebblezone · 1 year

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who’s up making sound effects ☝️☝️☝️

#talkingcore #realizing that the little pshooo noise I make when moving an object from one place to another can in fact be heard and perceived by others #purely on the basis I don’t hear anyone else making sound effects… you’re telling me I’m supposed to just push elevator buttons in silence??#like when you’re looking for things you don’t do like a lil choochoo chugging a long situation? okay… 👁️👁️💥💥💥💥#hot girl walk backfired I am so sleepy fuck this group project I can’t do anything til other people put info in…. I want to sleep #they pushed it off an extra 50 minutes pls let’s just get it done so I can go to sleep peacefully at like idk 8:30 (this is unrealistic)#I can sense the stress and disappointment. so sad so sad #maybe I’ll wait to post so I can have as much of my woes in one place (I am so sleepy)#this is hell I forgot we had a floor meeting at 830. the dude whose work I’m waiting on is not done. I’m feeling like the Arthur dad #tip: I am so fucking mad though the mad is really just Tired it’s due at 9 am tomorrow I do not want to be thinking about this past 10pm #it’s 8:49 maybe it’ll be good soon Please I need Slumber though also there’s Clunking going around who’s clunking #919 literally no progress this is super hell. DUDE WHERE SRE YOU GOING WE ARE ALL WAITING ON YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHH #man…………….. this is twisted. and sick :((((#THEY FINALLY FREED ME 9:37 GOD DAMN… AND THEYRE STILL NOT DONE IM JUST NOT TRAPPED ON ZOOM #this is my attack on London for Realsies we already had an extension it should’ve been due this morning. ass cheeks up for Real for real for

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supergnome-a · 2 years

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I've been feeling pretty empty lately so i decided to draw out how my emotions feel, to help process through them, and hopefully get this empty fit i feel to leave lol.

And tbh i kinda like some of these

I add details that are simple but meaningful

#casually puts hair down at school so i can listen to music without being caught at this strick ass school #Also if your wondering about the toilet paper on my bed-#Ever since i got sick i randomly am just unable to breathe untill i blow my nose and we dont have tissues so i use that #Though sometimes i still just straight up cant/have a really hard time breathing..i should probably get that checked out #vent art #im losing my fucking mindddd #im lonely #I swear to god i could kill someone #eeeee <3 #*cries*

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