#god actually i do love them so much they're so gooooood

[eldrichfuck666]

Get to know a simmer - summer 2023 edition (for me!) I was tagged by the amazing @lilypixels (thank you so muuuuch, you truly don't know how much I love to ramble on here and I also was so curious to know more about you! （*＾-＾*) and although I did it back in spring and you can find the old post here, I LOVE DOING SUCH UPDATES SKKSS so I'd decided I want to do it again~ Especially considering, I have a bit more mutuals and followers than then, so.. get to know me! And my love for rambling, too!

Show your wallpaper and last song you listened to (as you can see, I have a new theme! Yay! But Writer Lite still stayed here as well as Linga :') and I'm slowly going into my Hozier obssesion again, it's just mixed with Will Wood and Tally Hall!) AND YEAH I DID IT THE LAST LMAO just right now and I was just.. God why am I so slow and write so slow I-

Currently reading: I'm re-reading To Be Devoured by Sara Tantlinger once again and it's thanks to that one nonnie that made me want to go back to it and analyse every single sentence..) and I started reading Rapture by Saint Harlowe which was recommended to me by @rottengurlz - thank you SO MUCH for such amazing book rec, by far I can say that I'm getting so much Hannibal vibes for some reason? JACKSON IS SO.. OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOD I don't know how to react and i'm fucking screaming IS IT A BOOK OF MY DREAM? The writing style, the religious references, the murderousness and both gentleness. It is... I didn't got very far, but this is very... this is a religious experience, literally! And I'm forever thankful to you for this rec!! 💕

Last movie: I might be very wrong because my memory sucks, but I feel like it was The Witch (2015)! But I'm not sure since I also watched Annihilation (2018) the same week and I don't remember which was the last I had watched 😭

Last show: Chapelwaite (2021) - I only started and I'm honesty terrified to watch it further but I think It might be worth it?

Craving: mmm, I don't really know? Maybe caramelized shrimps or WAIT Maultaschen? THEY HAVE INTERESTING STORY THOUGH!!! And they're very tasty and you probably know what's I'm going to go cook right now...

Last thing you ate: Baked Brussels sprouts with maple syrup! As you can see, I have a sweet tooth and I'd sold my soul for anything sweet, but especially for sweet vegetables!

What are you wearing right now: It's very cold (I'M NOT JOKING IT'S LITERALLY 12 DEGREES CELSIUS OUTSIDE AND THERE WERE A !!!!!!LONG THUNDERSTORM!!!!!!! AND I'M SOOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!!!!!) so I'm wearing very old very fur socks that were knitted by my papa (yes, they're a gift for Christmas 2019 and I adore them and would protect them at any cost), orange woolen sweater, woolen home shorts and on top of that... I'm hiding in a very big yellowish autumny blanket with milky white stripes. I'm freezing and I still have my window open wide despite having an obvious fucking fever.

How tall are you: I figured out I'm actually 175 cm tall! It's pretty tall, right?

Piercings: None! I don't even have my ears pierced and I don't want to! There's clip-ons for that and I don't want to feel pain event for a slightest second. But piercings are really cool! I wish I didn't have this wild fear of pain or there were like... septum clip-ons if it makes sense? But yeah, still none and never will be!

Tattoos: None and I'm pretty sure there will never be any!

Glasses/contacts: I still have perfect vision, however! I STARTED KINDA COLLECTING VINTAGE GLASSES WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL SILVER CHAINS! I have three of them now help It's becoming another obsession... They just look cool and not even only on me, but just in general - even in the cabinet! And they have such beautiful and detailed cases ohhhh...

Favourite colour: Ahhh... I'm not sure but maybe... peachy pink? And that gold orange you can see on the painting Café Terrace at Night by the one and only Vincent Van Gogh. BUT PARIS GREEN IS STILL MY OBSESSION FOREVER I LOVE THIS COLOUR!!!!!!! And also, I think It's maroon and wine reds? They look so vampire I just... And so rich if it makes sense? AND GORE AND BLOOD- But aesthetic blood though!

Current obsession: Maid Of Sker & Bloodborne lore and maybe.. cosmic horror in general? Something definitely changed in me after watching Annihilation... But I also love Lovecraftian horror, so It does make a lot of sense!

Any pets: still no pet :,< And I haven't seen my parents dog for months now... I miss her so much and I know they live only couple hours away but I'm deathly scared of publicly busy places especially electric trains and trains in general. I do not have a car and don't plan to and it will be useless anyways, but I'm not ready to deal with very... unstable train schedule and everything yet. I'm just scared but I hope i'd visit them at least for Christmas.

Favourite fictional character: Umm... I don't know now, It might be still Will Graham. I love him.

Last place you traveled: does going to Augsburg which is like.. 1 hour or so from me to see its cathedral once again counts? I just love this place so much, it feels so powerful and so old (which it is, and the architecture is insane. you need to go here to understand and feel it, but It's something so beautiful and it's kinda is my comfort place so...). And yeah, because the trip wasn't as long, I had my earbuds on and was drinking tea on a train and everything went really well! It was two weeks ago and It was like one of the most beautiful 6 hours of my year so far. And, there were a slight rain when I was shopping and walking around, so it's was really amazing. 10000/10 would recommend. ALSO. I bought some handmade brooches here! Its just a comfort town for me if it makes sense? There's so much to see but just calmly walking around feel the best. AND OMG I LOVE BEING HERE WHEN IT'S RAINING OR WHEN IT'S JUST CLOUDY AHHH

I'M SORRY I DON'T KNOW I'M SCARED OF TAGGING but if you read it and if you just want to do this consider yourself tagged and tag me if you want to!! I love you so much to whoever is reading this and I hope you're having a great night or day!! ❤️

[spamgyu]

Hi love,

Alright, I'll start off with this, the wonwoo fluff, girl, I hope you know that good fluff IS about the most mundane things and yeah, you got me all giggly while reading this one, so I'd say you're fucking good at writing fluff( as if your pretty boy series isn't enough proof of that).

Next, the Alex Kwon update, it's absolutely hilarious, but the way I can totally see this happening, like, alex having to pay them to stay away from Alex!yn and telling her they're all red flags. Also, Andrew, Sam and Chris not being on his close friends, loll, girl I was laughing reading them complain. The cutest thing though, the Alex or alex✨️ was so adorable and I loved the update, it felt like early compensation for the pain you're about to put us through with the hoshi idol angst.

Now, minghao with lv, god I've been wanting to see this happen for so long but oh god, ge looked so gooooood. Seeing him Jackson makes me so happy, I love seeing the members interact with their friends. You see, I have quite a weird connection, I started off as a bts and blackpink fan, got to know Jackson through namjoon and then svt through jungkook, so watching all these groups interact is like my source of happiness. When I tell you, I was over the moon seeing lisa and mingyu interact, they're absolutely hilarious, the way gyu looked so done with her while she seemed to have the time of her life annoying him. Sorry, I got distracted, the whole point is Hao looked absolutely fucking amazing in that denim on denim look.

Okay, I see people talking about how they can't afford to stan more then one group, and I totally get that, like I have serious brainrot because of stanning more than one group(can't say I regret it though). To give you an idea of how deep my brainrot runs, I stan 5 groups, 4 boy bands and 1 girl group. When I tell you that I'm rotting, I mean I genuinely am, because just one grp is enough to drive someone crazy and yet, I choose to do so with 5 groups. The fact that I started off as a cubic doesn't help my case either, because I was instantly drawn to these 13 men being unhinged. It's been years and I still haven't gotten used to this, and to be quite honest, idk if I ever will.

As for disconnected calls part 2, umm, I would actually love you even more if it was angst(just a personal opinion) but like, I can't guarantee I'll be alive to tell you how much I love it, because, well, cheol angst is one of my weaknesses, I can't say I've fully recovered from the pain from the 1st part and the apartment we don't share.

Anyway, how have you been?

hi omg – wow im so late replying buuuut

thank u i KDNWKD i think i think too much about fluff bc ??? idk ?? i hate cheesy things and i feel like people wont like what i think is cute so then i never actually go through with it but AHHH THANK U

alex kwon just dont want the boys annoying him in the gc bc lbr the guys wont ever comment or swipe up on Alex!yn bc like theyre dumb but theyre not pigs... anyways its alex's way of not wanting to show his lover boy side to the boys

i loooveeddd the denim look sm and i loooove when we get svt interactions with other idols (imo it humanizes them) anywaysss

KFNENF yeah i stan multiple groups and im mostly casual stan for all but svt (but tbh some carats may think im casual for svt bc i dont really go crazy with purchasing merch) anyways now that it's concert season my pockets are HURTING

LASTLY disconnected calls pt2 will be angst and maybe equally as painful as the apartment we wont share....... i havent fully written out ehe BUT NOTED

also i am.......... okay ish.... work is.... work and i am ....... surviving lmfaoooo

[hua-fei-hua]

i feel like i associate tdmm w u so much i see them and think of u anyways top 5? 3? idk u decide todomomo bits you have written hehe<3

for a sec i was like “did i rb an ask game?” bc i just chuck things in the queue and don’t see them for two weeks and so it’s very easy for me to forget but nope this was unprompted and ilysm for that hehehehe <33

anyway #1 is obviously like,, “and then she said, ‘i love you’” from sparklers 31 like i’m pretty sure you can tell from the blog title lol. it’s just so good. so soft. ahhh

2. that one bit in orchid 10 with the fireside chat where todoroki asks momo to call him by his first name, and then asks her for her first name, and she just whispers, “haku.” like just holy shit!!!! my god!!!!!! i go fucking crazy for that shit like the lie right there like--

3. sparklers 13 where the whole premise is that they’re on a date where all they do is go around the city and pet cats

4. sparklers 16 where todoroki experiences the peak intimacy known as having someone you love brush your hair. i think i’m fond of this one in particular bc that’s what i did to my friends when they were overwhelmed and crying, n i’d ask them what their favorite fairy tale was like~~ -w-

5. THE KISS SCENE IN PAPER FACES CH. 3 LIKE HOLY SHIT DUDE!!! THAT WAS SO INTIMATE N THE IMAGERY SO GOOD!!!!! I DIE!!!!! I ACTUALLY DIE!!!!!!

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

Um I don’t know if this counts as an unpopular opinion or not, but I’ve seen this weird level of unwarranted familiarity/ownership that certain people have taken with other creators' ocs and it reads as creepy to me. I could be wrong though >_>

oh my GOD yes, I know exactly what you mean!! Like yes, it's great you love certain characters so much, but you need to remember that those aren't your toys to play with. And I feel like some of that blame can be lended to fanartists as well, which includes me. People start forgetting where that character originated from, what their canon story is, and start flocking to the artist for more haha funny doodles or epic drawings instead of...you know, the actual author?? The one who used the brain power to create said blorbo and all those stunningly written scenes?? But eh, why read the fic now, I can see all I need to see with these fanarts and just ask the artist, right?

And like I said, I'm really guilty of that. I LOVE Zeyro, I would die for that big hunky dog man, I would give him a smooch upon the forehead. Not to mention, he's in a canon relationship with my own OC. And I love the concept of the Lykoi in general!! I love that they and the Venandi are really two sides of the same coin when it comes to intergalactic takeover, except they're more emotion based while the cats are focused on the science.

But Zeyro is NOT my character. I can't answer questions about him or Kaneda because I don't know them. I can say what MY characters would do in a proposed situation with him, but I have no right to dictate how he'd react. People forget that he belongs solely to @bolshoycorvid and that if they want to know more about him, or if they want to know how origin story in this universe, they need to ask his actual creator instead of me who just likes to draw him and Ylva being cute sometimes.

And also mini side rant ooooohhhhh my gooooood stop telling creators what their characters would or wouldn't do!! They know EXACTLY what their characters would or wouldn't do, they literally came up with said character and all their personality traits and flaws!! I deadass have had people tell me "Edix wouldn't be that mean ):" or "Ylva would never be so cruel!!" when I LITERALLY just wrote them doing EXACTLY THAT!! Venandi are the villains of the stories!! Ylva murders old people for her job!! Edix killed like 76 people in front of Jacob when he's only supposed to be worried about flowers!! THEY ARE NOT NICE!!!!!!!!!

[cherrystreet]

HELLLOOO MY FAVORITE WRITERRRR ''Tis my bday and honestly would love nothing more than a Drabble from one of your fics but I can't even pick one of them because they're all so gooooood. Maybe TWG or TOW or 210 days or never be or perfect storm omg so many good ones I can't choose but would appreciate anything you'd share!!! 💕💕💕

Hi babe! Happy birthday! I wrote this as quickly as I could so I hope it’s still your birthday where you are! I decided to add to Tug-of-War; is that okay?! xxxx

Harry takes the long way home back from Louis’, the Jeep windows down, muggy air doing nothing to help his already frizzy curls. Every time he thinks about the way Louis leaned into his grip at the concert, his body warm and hands trembling when their fingers linked together, he feels short of breath, has to take another left turn when he should be taking a right. He’s spent ages thinking about what what it would be like to have Louis in his arms, often times tossing and turning in his bed, unable to sleep with how badly he wanted it, just a taste, just to have a little more than he was allowed. But thinking about it and wishing for it didn’t come anywhere close to the real thing, Louis sweaty and swaying to the music, his lips wet, eyes focused whenever he twisted up to look at Harry. And then, with his back pressed up against his front door, Louis stared at him like he wanted to be kissed, kissed by Harry, looking so Goddamn beautiful, and Jesus fucking Christ, Harry deserves a medal for being able to pull himself away from that, for not rushing the thing that occupies his mind more often than he’d ever care to admit. The idea of going home to an empty house when he feels this on edge is laughable, and he doesn’t end up pulling into his driveway until it’s well past three in the morning, nearly two hours after he dropped Louis off.

He takes his time getting ready for bed, showering under a hot stream of water, washing his body three times over, brushing his teeth meticulously, eventually heading into the kitchen to clean the rest of his dishes from the morning before. He rearranges the pantry, scrubs the stove, waters the plants in the living room, sorts through nearly 400 emails, polishes the silver he promised his mother he’d never use, and the entire time, he hasn’t once stopped thinking about Louis.

He catches the time on the microwave clock. 5:04 AM. Only 15 or so hours until he has to be back at Louis’ to pick him up for dinner. He drops the spoon onto the floor, frozen. Only 15 or so hours until he has to be back at Louis’ to pick him up for dinner.

Harry’s torn between screaming and fist pumping. It’s happening. It’s finally fucking happening, and he isn’t ready. How the hell isn’t he ready? He’s been going over this hypothetical scenario since before he could drive, played it out in his head more times than he can count, and here he is, polishing fucking silverware late enough at night to watch the sun rise because he can’t calm down enough to close his eyes for an hour or two.

“It’s just Louis,” he mutters out loud to himself, immediately bursting into hysterical laughter. That’s the problem. He can’t fuck this up; tomorrow needs to go as smoothly as possible. He wants this more than just about anything, the chance to show Louis how perfectly they could fit together now that they’re finally on the same page.

Are they?

Oh, God, what if they’re not.

The sun is just about fully up by the time Harry starts pacing around his house, trying to convince himself that he’s overreacting and he’ll feel better once he gets a few hours of sleep. Maybe he needs to eat something. Or exercise. Or do anything other than think of ways to light himself on fire in the most pain-free way possible.

He falls asleep on the edge of the couch while he’s trying to decide, running sneakers in his hands, and when he wakes up around nine o’clock, the shoes are still in his grip, his hair is matted to the side of his face, and he’s more stressed out than ever.

They agree to meet around eight o’clock for dinner and Harry tries to focus on the excitement factor, rather than the if-I-think-about-this-long-enough-I-could-vomit factor. He gets to be the the one to take Louis to a unique spot downtown, a place he’s positive Louis will love. He gets to share an intimate meal with him. He gets to buy him a drink, share a dessert, tell him how gorgeous he is, and, if Louis lets him, really kiss him goodnight. He gets to have him. God, he hopes Louis will let him.

Harry doesn’t eat all day, too riddled with nerves to force anything down. Instead, he works on finding an outfit, tossing aside shirt after shirt. He settles on something he’s only worn in front of Louis once or twice, an item he’s confident in enough to say he knows he looks good, and the goal is to get Louis to agree. If he can get Louis to admit he finds Date Harry - a Harry he’s never had before - even the tiniest bit endearing, then Harry has won. He can work with that.

He forces himself to stop staring at his reflection about an hour before he heads out to pick up Louis, his top ironed, his skinny jeans fitted in all the right places, his hair actually cooperating for the first time in what feels like decades, and he makes the absurd decision to stand by the door for the remaining time as to not wrinkle anything.

“Absolutely ridiculous,” he mutters under his breath, grabbing his water bottle on the table and his keys on the hook by the door. He’s as ready as he’ll ever be. “But the first step is admitting it. Second step is to stop talking to yourself.”

Louis’ house is only seven miles from Harry’s. Typically, it’s an 18-minute drive, depending on traffic or how distracting Louis is being from the passenger’s seat. It’s mainly highway driving, simple and mindless, and Harry has each and every turn memorized. Could do it in his sleep, practically, if he had to.

Of course, this would be the day a significant pothole decided to emerge on Main Street about two minutes down the road from Louis. Naturally, he hits it while he’s drinking his water. He loses his grip, startled, and empties nearly half of the bottle directly down his front.

“Son of a bitch!” he shrieks, pulling over, ignoring as passerbys beep angrily at him for holding up traffic. He hops out of the Jeep to inspect his wheel, making sure the tire is okay, and fortunately, everything looks good.

Everything, that is, except for himself.

Harry curses under his breath as he checks his watch and sees he doesn’t have time to go home and change. He searches desperately in the trunk for something to change into, pissed beyond belief that he’s soaked to the bone, water starting to drip down into his jeans. The only thing he can find is a t-shirt he changed out of at the gym last week. It doesn’t smell terrible, but it’s not good enough, it’s not what he wanted. It doesn’t matter in the long run, he knows, because Louis has seen him a thousand times and knows what he looks like regardless, but it doesn’t stop him from resting his forehead against the steering wheel, another string of swears falling out of his mouth before he can stop it.

He pulls up in front of Louis’ house just before eight o’clock, cutting the engine and making his way up the walkway. He isn’t nervous anymore; instead, he’s upset, feeling like so much is already out of his control. This suddenly feels like too much, he thinks as he knocks on the front door, scared out of his mind that he can’t do this, that there’s more here than he can handle.

But then Louis is in front of him and he looks so gorgeous, Harry feels like the wind was knocked out of him. His mind is a blur of yes and wow and I look like shit and this is why we’re doing this. This is who I want.

“Hi, Lou,” he forces out, smiling briefly. “You look nice.”

Louis touches the nape of his neck, toying with his hair. “Thanks. So do you.”

He knows he’s blushing. He can feel the heat creeping onto his cheeks. Fuck. “I probably looked better before I got on the road. I was drinking water on my way over here and I hit a pothole and the water went everywhere and my sweater got soaked and this was the only thing I had in my car…” He stops when Louis reaches out to touch his hand, a comfort Harry didn’t know he needed.

“You look good. I promise. Really good.”

Louis sounds sincere, and even if he didn’t, the look on his face would give him away. Harry can feel himself relaxing, smiling, even, and he’s in so deep over his head for this boy, he can’t even stand it. “Okay,” he says eventually. “Are you ready, then? Link is all set?”

“Believe me, he’s set for a while.”

He shrugs, nodding. “I made reservations, so let’s go.”

They start to walk to the Jeep together, Harry leading, and he doesn’t look back over his shoulder at Louis before he pulls open the passenger door. But when they do finally make eye contact again, Harry’s able to catch the barely there pinkness claiming Louis’ cheeks, his neck. His smile is contagious.

This is going to work.

Harry’s running on about three hours of sleep. His neck hurts from the couch, his stomach is in knots from uncontrollable nerves, his t-shirt smells like stale cologne, and Christ, with Louis right here beside him, he has never been this happy.