#god damn that's still fucking long
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"Hey Senpai, why are you crying?
Let's do that ♪ Un, deux, trois ♪ together
Role-play? Then which one would you prefer?
Odette or Odile?"
The continuation from This certain Dance-post, this time with fem school LIs being Balleriko
And the sketch. I just came up with general poses before actually assigning which pose to which character. But hey, it sorta came out with a story, so why don't you tell me what you see?
#Lyah is not here but his flowers are with them *wink*#degrees of lewdity#robin the orphan#whitney the bully#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#kylar the loner#dol robin#dol whitney#dol sydney#dol kylar#dol#dollya art#god damn that's still fucking long#This is part of my work I'm doing for my portfolio I'm so glad at least I still get to draw what I actually enjoy for it
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yea sooooo I may have or may have not watched and instantly rewatched all kuro musicals in existence in a spawn of one week and now have roughly 40 screenshots to redraw from
I think I might be insane or something
#it's all sebaciel of course#god I wish I could erase my memory and rewatch the most beautiful death and tango on the campania#the latter I watched like 3 times but death I found a long long while ago so now it must've been my tenth or so rewatch#and I'm still so not normal about the final song and overall parallels between sebaciels and alan x eric i'm fijsdfdjfo#and sebastian is so dumb he is sO BLIIIINDDDD IT'S CRAZY#“me? going against my nature and principles over some tiny human? I could neve-” yeah bro mhm talk about it after the gwa and rciel reveal#also fellas is it gay to *pretend* to try to wake up your master just so you can have an excuse to carry him?#and then sing about how every night you fantasize about kissing him and holding him?#is it fellas??#and the whole scene of alan's death when in his memories he and eric VERY PLATONICALY look at falling petals and he goes#“ah so beautiful it looks like snowfall :)”#and fucking moments later sebastian kills eric the souls are flying everywhere just so ciel could go#“ah so beautiful it looks like snowfall :|”#I'm going fucking insaine I hate it here every time is like the first#"some things are simply meant to be beautiful” proceeds to STARE AT CIEL FOR A GOD DAMN ETERNITY#I can't I literally can't I'm miserable#sebaciel#was so busy with my rant I even forgot to include the tag at first oh my god
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i have GOT to stop drawing things for fics i haven't written yet
#qkdraws#id in alt#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#mp100 ritsu#ritsu kageyama#takenaka momozou#in general i think i'm pretty proud of this one#i was going for a very specific vibe and i'm not sure if i rly hit the mark but i got close i think#i love giving ritsu long as fuck hair. boy get u a brush and some scissors my god#goes against his generally put-together appearance in canon#in my heart he's a messy 13 year old with leaves in his hair and no brush to be seen in his bathroom. he doesn't own one.#he learns to be a little more Himself after s3 and he becomes a little less perfectly civil and a little more Wild#without the gang fights this time tho. character development#that's within ritsu standards ofc. he still says please and thank you and still sits w perfect posture at the dinner table#but if he comes home w mud in that stupid spiky cut uhm . let him live his life ? damn.#what was i talking about . ...oh right the tumblr post#if u ask me abt this fic i'll give u my entire collection of cool rocks. they're around here somewhere.some of them are sparkly#i like drawing takenaka i think his hair is fun#it's basically oot link hair and that's always cool#made it extra messy this time. to convey the Horrors#u have no idea the amount of restraint it took to NOT put ritsu in a hoodie here#im god's strongest soldier
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lestat de lioncourt - on the deer which runs faster than itself.
Hélène Cixous, Stigmata / Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat / Interview with a Vampire (2022) / Catherine Malabou, Ontology of the Accident / Czeslaw Milosz, New and Collected Poems: 1931-2001 / Louis Moe, Allegory / Ovid, Metamorphoses / Ethel Cain, Ptolomea / The Company of Wolves (1984) / Lingua Ignota, I WHO BEND THE TALL GRASSES / Hugh Parry, Ovid's Metamorphoses: Violence in a Pastoral Landscape.
#lestat de lioncourt#lestat#interview with the vampire#fascinating how thematically and psychologically intertwined these two traumatic events (wolves / magnus) are for lestat…#when nicki jokingly asks if lestat became a werewolf after his first near-death experience. like Ok.#there’s ofc this through-line of pushing beyond the limits of form when flight is no longer an option—i.e. transforming.#for characters in myth this is often salvation. their gods aiding them in their time of need#but for lestat there would be no divine intervention.#(unless you count magnus as this force. which. is another topic entirely)#the transformation isn’t the escape; it’s what he’s trying to escape from#‘knowing the only release was the birth or my own death’ —> ‘only death or radical transformation offers any release’ —> ‘the emptiness of#death and still i said No.’ and even then that’s not The End. the Wolf is dead—only you still have to walk all those miles in the snow.#also the stomach-dropping line of ‘But it was happening again.’ so fucking sickening. the admission. the futility of the effort.#as well as gabrielle expressing the Horrific pain of birthing her first child. knowing she had Eight.#it’s about surviving beyond enduring beyond living beyond dying!! even if that endurance is the very thing that damns you#cw rape#cw sa#cw animal death#tvl#the vampire lestat#iwtv#long post#web weaving
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see i think im the ultimate duck understander bc i believe:
• the other two of the trio mean the world to him, he loves them
• he WOULD actively and maliciously sabotage any way for them to permanently get out of the house
• he does not care about the other twos mental health whatsoever, not near as much as he cares about their physical health & direct proximity to him
ALL AT ONCE!!
#my dhmis postings#LISTEN#hes AWFUL hes really fucking bad#hes a bad friend he would be a TERRIBLE dad he would be an AWFUL husband#but he loves them so much#its just. his idea of love. is. keeping these two attached to me for as long as possible.#he doesnt care if they dont like it. he doesnt care if theyre unhappy with it. as long as they are PHYSICALLY here in the same space with me#then everythings fine :] ♡♡♡♡#which is so fucked up#and i hope they never leave as much asbi hope the other two force him out of there#like sorry lol. ep 3 + 4 is evidence to me that the other two could be so fucking unhappy. actively disassociating.#and as long as they are IN THE SAME ROOM as duck he wouldnt give a shit#they could say every day GOD WE'RE SO MISERABLE and he would be like damn thats crazy#and still. if he found a way out. not tell them and destroy the way out#its veryyyy. misty from yellowjackets. lol. :]
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John Larroquette in Altered States (1980)
#john larroquette#altered states#I'll be honest all I've seen of this movie is this scene and I don't care so no subtitles because I'm only here for his face#so. I have no idea what's going on. but Dr. Wissenschaft???? doctor science?? that's both hilarious and stupid#anyway who gave him the right to be this fucking cute??#this scene was so dark and so blue but my god he looks so damn adorable#somewhere there's an alternate timeline where he wasn't in Stripes and his nose is still fine so he doesn't hate it and -#no I'm gonna shut up that sounds mean#and I hope he's changed his mind about that since that interview in 1990. it's been a long time so. probably.#I'm just seriously obsessed with his face that's all#alex-gifs#my stuff#my edit
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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the only thing i took away from hsr 2.1 is that march is gay
#who is this bartender and can she become playable she deserves a full on the mouth kiss#hsr spoilers#hsr#also aven meeting his younger self is cute tho i still havent gotten to the part where they explain who tf is speaking thru his future self#but i actually hate how the game pushes you to keep pulling for newer units oh my god like i dont wanna do dot damage stop making your boss#bosses able to be oneshotted by black swan acheron kafka and nobody else#pov person who hasnt progressed through aven boss fight because it's taking way too damn long. prolly a skill issue but just let me play#my fav characters i dont need this fucking powercreep stuff T_T#ramblings!#also aven is growing on me but also idc his design is too dripless and so is boothill's im like -_-#the only pretty people are robin and siobhan the bartender and im so sick of physical..............#also i tghink this is just a side effect of being way more invested in genshin bc i cannot fully pay attention to the lore tm#they be revealing things left and right and i just dont care so it flies over my head#at least they properly gave everything needed to understand avens backstory before we have to fight him
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guidestuck AND devo??????? whagd
#i spent so fucking long tryimg to figure out the text amd it still kinda sucks sobs#art#guidestuck#cal strider#devo#shout devo#redraw#shouldve drawn dave and bro somewhere god damn it#homestuck#mspfa
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i need a new strategy for like, cleaning my room and doing yoga and reading and leaving the house. the adhd has reached mythic levels of bad. i have the thought, "i should do X," and then i won't move. i make a to-do list and i won't do anything on it. i queue up a yoga practice and i won't do it. i stare at my room and get stressed out about how cluttered it is. i write 3000 words of notes for a fic i don't even know if i'm going to write. i think and i think and i think about my OCs and they won't let me write them. i spend hours looking at stuff i can't buy. i take like an hour to write this.
#rum.txt#i have to do something about my phone...........#i might be able to uninstall tumblr#i can't uninstall twitter because the stupid fucking thing turns off notifications when you do#so i wouldn't be able to catch up on the accs i have notifs on for#(a very small list of forcebook- and kaibaek-related accs)#i can't uninstall instagram because of forcebook again lol#i also use it for recipes sigh#but i might start just... leaving it in my room when i get up and see how that goes#i'd also have to try to not look at my phone first thing in the morning#i also have to start actually getting up in the morning#i think that's the main thing#ok maybe when i take my medication in the evening i start getting ready for bed#it'll take long enough that it'll probably still be late but reasonable late#and not like. almost 3 am like now#one of the problems with my room right now is that i have a lot of STUFF#and i'm afraid of getting rid of the STUFF#because the last time i got rid of a bunch of STUFF#(mostly clothes)#i totally regretted most of it and i'm still like ah shit i don't have that anymore? :(#but also i have a big bed that i just want OUT of there#and a huge wardrobe that unfortunately holds a lot of the STUFF#so i don't know where all the STUFF would go#and every job i apply to sucks#and every job i actually want is TERRIFYING in both its unattainability and the miniscule possibility of its improbable successful executio#so i'm like stressed out about a thing that hasn't happened to make something that hasn't happened that i'm also stressed out about#every possible scenario whether i want it or not feels like it could lead to a meltdown because everything is so god damn hard right now#AND I FEEL SO!!!!!! SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and the worst part is that i know all this is because my stupid fucking period is coming up#but just because my hormones are making me feel overwhelmed and melodramatic about everything doesn't make anything i've said untrue
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@nemo-of-house-hamartia Hope this answers your questions 😂
#FJJDFJFSJKFSDFKJDFSKDFKJS#god this was a pain in the fucking ass!#sorry nemo!!!#hope this is alright!#fun fact: when I tried to long screenshot the og page via inspecting the source it would take a WHOLE SCREENSHOT of my inbox#showing the ask in there but without my replies!#LIKE...ITS THERE. THE CODE IS THERE. BUT TUMBLR WENT “NAH ITS INVISIBLE!” 😃😃😃#while you Carlos and Chris are at Home Depot do you think ya'll can get me some wood for a burning project? 😂😂😂#Lulu and I will just be chilling with desserts when ya'll get back 😂😭#LMAO#fun fact: huge portion of my ancestry is norse and swedish! ELLO COUSIN!!! (assuming you're from there since you said fine Swedish morning!#thanks for asking questions about my newest baby ToT#this was so nice of ya and for checking in on me!#SOON I WILL ANSWER OUR DAMN DMS#AGAIN IM SORRY#I KNOW I DONT GOTTA APOLOGIZE FOR SHIT BUT IM STILL GONNA ANYWAY cause im smol....inside at least#idk why i said smol#my brain glitched#lmao#Sawyer Kiddo OC#Resident Evil OC#need a face claim for her still#fuck still gotta draw her eventually....gotta draw in general one day again
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I just found a clinic nearby that does gender-affirming surgeries so top surgery might actually be a feasible thing for me in the near(ish) future
I found a job that seems to have all the stuff I liked from one of my last jobs without the extra bullshit I didn't (can't apply for it currently but that kind of job exists and that's reassuring)
Things might be starting to look up for me
#personal#i would have to use the money i saved up for college for the surgery and i dont know what kind of wait list they have going on#but i dont have enough money to get the kind of degree i want anyway here#so i might as well drop that money on something meaningful to me instead#not having much luck figuring out the getting back to therapy thing atm and im not going to assume these things on their own will fix me#but damn if they wouldn't help#and if i can get back into work i can move back in with my old roommate#(as far as i know my room's still available id just have to talk to him about it once ive got money to offer for bills again)#and with this kind of 'stay at home until there's work' job itll mean im not spending all my energy trying to survive the day#so i should still have some left over for doing the things i love doing (without having to worry about those things being able to make mone#god i havent felt this hopeful about my prospects in a long fucking time#maybe i can still make a place for myself
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Drawing from a young age is painful bro, nobody warned me about the 2 year burnout after drawing for days weeks months straight. I finished a drawing for the first time in months, I'm proud of myself but it was both therapeutic and the most stressfull thing ever💔
Anyways
I don't usually post my art on here, maybe I should start doing that but eh. I'm gonna try to start drawing more fanart maybe but I felt like redesigning an old oc,, for some reason she was always at the bottom of my list for redesigning and i don't really get that now I forgot how much I loved her.
#i completely forgot her name which is kind of sad#i just know it was painfully british#whatever that meand#i dont even remember what ethnicity i had her be#for now (and probably in the future) she'll be chinese#(part of it bc of the white rabbit stuff)#i couldnt for the life of me find info about the white rabbit as an animal in china#it was always about the damn candies#which fair#theyve been making them for decades now#anywyas#oc#oc artist#my art#wooooooooooooooooo#she used to be a posh bitch i know that#with a fucking monocle#OH MY GOD I FIRGOT HER GLASSES???????????#what the fuck how could i do this#thats literally one of the first things i planned about her redesign#i literally have my own glasses on my desk as a reference how could i#im gonna fix that whoopsie#i just remembered she was in a polycule#insane detail to just remember i dont even fully know with who#PLEASE DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE HORRIBLE PERSPECTIVE OF THE HEELS IM WORKING ON IT#i soent so long on them i gave up#rabbit character#thank you mirko for being a reference on how to draw the ears#i still dont know how to do it but i winged it and it looks fine
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i swear if qforever doesnt get a nice and healing reunion with richas and tallulah i am exploding that server myself
#txt post#cw caps#a shit ton of caps in the tags#HOW HARD IS IT TO WISH THIS CUBITO SOME FUCKING HAPPINESS#EVERY TIME I REMEMBER ABT FOREVER CUBITO I FEEL AWFUL MY LITTLE GUY HASNT HAD A BREAK IN SO LONG#MOSTLY CUZ PEOPLE CONSTANTLY GIVE HIM SHIT AND ISOLATE HIM SINCE HE'S THE FUCKING PRESIDENT NOW AND DONT EVEN TREAT HIM AS MUCH OF A FRIEND#ANYMORE AND JUST HOLD HIM AT ARMS REACH. HE FEELS ALONE AND HOPELESS#LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT STILL TREAT HIM LIKE THEY TREATED HIM BEFORE THE WHOLE PRESIDENT THING BULLSHIT IS HIS DAMN FAMILY AND PHIL#AND MAYBE BAGHS TOO I CANT REMEMBER#man feels like no one trusts him anymore cuz hes “part of the feds” when he's not actually as involved as people make it seem#literally the only official mission he has ever done for the feds was the whole go to the nether get lost lmao L bozo#his position in the federation can literally just be reduced to the one who represents the islanders as a whole in the eyes of the feds#like god every time someone refers to him by his actually name instead of “the president” an angel regains its wings#cuz yeah he has to carry the burden of his position but that doesnt mean im not allowed to complain that everyone is pushing him away for i#like fuck. phil telling him that he trusts him and cares about him before forever went to the nether meant the fucking world to him#“phil nailed it down in the minute what was happening. im glad i can rely on him” <- not verbatim but like. cmon
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I’m still in awe about the scene where the asl brothers were shouting out their dreams and how every time I rewatched this scene I always questioned just why they cut out the part where luffy says his because it’s not exactly a secret. He’s been shouting out that he wanted to be the pirate king since the very beginning of the series, it’s literally his catchphrase!!
For 12 years I questioned that scene! But never once did it cross my mind that it was done because luffy actually has a different dream, and becoming the pirate king was only an ends to a mean to reach it and I was SO blown away to learn this almost 400+ chapters later when this was first HINTED at, never mind that it took 1000+ chapters to even learn he has a dream that isn’t becoming the pirate king (and we still don’t know what it is!!)
#one piece#one piece spoilers#episode 1015 hinted at this before the pre-egghead arc revealed it but even then my thought process was still#''yeah he wants to be the pirate king and literally everyone laughs at this but he doesnt care :)''#even after yamato says that roger said something similar EVEN THOUGH THE CONCEPT OF A PIRATE KING DIDNT EXIST YET#i know that confused me for a hot second but i was so caught up in how fucking good the animation was that i ended up forgetting about it#because hot fucking damn did that episode go all out#god i wonder when he told shanks#and if that was part of the reason why a billion belli man stayed for a year in some random village in the east blue#god i LOVE it when things click into place after questioning it for so long#i love that kind of foreshadowing so much its unreal#and one piece just does it SO well it's one of my top reasons i love this series so much#i cannot describe just how good THAT particular question getting answered feels#even though we still dont know his dream for certain#just knowing that there was a very good reason that we were cut off from that moment and it WASNT out of nowhere like i originally thought#and questioned just#augh!!#i love love love love it
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My rude-ass coworker continues to be a petty piece of work 😒
#I need y’all to know. she. NEVER. EVER. EVERRRRR. cleans her desk off. just sits and gets to working.#I however clean my area off religiously every single day for like 15 minutes#this woman will kill a fly with her bare hands and then not even wash them and just keeps working#SO TELL ME WHY SHE MADE A BIG SHOW OF GETTING A BUNCH KF PAPER TOWELS AND SITTING DIRECTLY IN MY LINE OF SITE WATCHING ME CLEAN#WAITING FOR THE BOTTLE. AND THEN WHEN I GAVE IT TO HER SHE METICULOUSLY CLEANED HER WHOLE DESK OFF. TELL ME WHY.#don’t tell me I already know: she wanted ME to have to wait for the bottle. because she’s a bitch.#(I gave it to her before I was done bc i take a long time cleaning.)#(and despite everything im not a bitch)#(not that much of one anyway)#I know she did it to spite me specifically 😒😒😒#AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT I DID TO PISS HER OFF SO BAD EXCEPT. BE CHEERFUL?????? WE WERE CONPLETELY FINE!!!!#and then I had one day off and when I came back she wouldn’t soeak to anyone or look at me#I WASNT EVEN AT WORK THE NIGHT SHIT HIT THE FAN GUYS#gods damn it. she’s gone next month for vacation I can’t fucking wait
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