#god i feel like a damn shill putting actual tags on stuff

[whiskeyyoodles]

Hey new (and old?) followers. If you haven't bought my game before then you're missing out. I got bills to pay and I'm not part of one of the 12 old guys in the UK who own all of our money.

[9w1ft]

feels a little early to be writing a year-in review but i find myself in a quiet moment so i thought i’d tap a few things out

in 2019, in all facets of my life, i faced a challenge of some sort and i surprised myself as i held my ground more often than ran away, which felt new. what *also* felt new was this sense of ease i began having professionally, when it came to conceptualizing and making decisions. sorta feels like a lot of things are crystallizing.

in terms of life on here, i didn’t have TSL for the majority of the year (anybody out there remember TSL?!) so i busied myself with crafting fun memories on my own. there were spans of weeks where i’d just get on a tear and run into one new thing after the other and it was all really just fantastic. i gave myself permission to indulge in the most decadent of things and to follow the most mercurial of assumptions to places i thought closed off.

i’m pretty sure i’ve smiled and laughed more over this year than i ever have in my entire life. no joke.

here are some kaylorverse moments that brought me joy in 2019:

it’s nice to have a friend

2018 was my first year being a kaylor and i just sort of was moreover on the contributor or commenter side of things so 2019 was interesting in that when taylor really leaned into the gay imagery leading up to album release, i started getting newer people sending me stuff! and asking me my takes on things! and like, my words suddenly had weight for some reason? it felt weird but i truly enjoyed getting to talk with so many different people and hear their ideas and laugh and such. that was markedly different from last year. from within this, 79-swift reached out to me with the eye theory, the most beautiful and rare of observations by a singularly lovely individual that i have dedicated my life to protecting and promoting. and i feel like i’ve gotten to know many people i knew through 2018 more deeply and have come to accept the role i play, lean in to it, and formulate my own truth of the matter, and that sort of heightened perspective on it has been a blessing and i’m so thankful for this strange sense of camaraderie that has formed with many of you? thank you??? and my conviction, and my wishes, for the girls to find happiness have only strengthened this year... im committed to seeing this through whether people like it or not!! harumph!

block ‘em

i also started proactively curating my experience.. that’s right! i began blocking trolls with reckless abandon, and i turned anons off! 😂 and damn it’s so much more worthwhile of a time on here when you set aside people that only want to ruin your day.

i got over my fear of eyeballs!!

😂 no seriously, body horror and in particular eyes out of context was actually sort of a thing that previously creeped me out BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. i’m gonna do my best not to rehash the eye theory, please read the post and recall the number of times i filipped out 😂 each and every one is precious to me

also

geeking out with bert and ernie gifs with kaylorfossil and making empsmd-blog drop her debit card need a mention.

the ME! music playlist.

i fell in love with so many songs and like, running into eye motifs in so many of the songs, lyrically and visually, was the most hilarious thing. but really just a lot of the songs really tapped at my soul with an ice pick and i even went to go see The Japanese House live in Osaka which was transcendental and i’m just so thankful for having taylor introduce Good At Falling to me because it was a *necessary* album.

i made and collected stuff

i made and amassed many artifacts that one day i can look back on and remember what a wild ride it has been. some favorites are my procuring of the pixel art heart ring from the ME! mv (a nod to my tsl days..), as well as the evil eye ring.. i didn’t physically make this but the eye theory made the taydar podcast and there’s nothing i enjoy more in this world than making someone giggle and i just love that the episode exists. making that kaylor straw was 👌 working on a mock-up of the golden locket has been very satisfying. i started incorporating fun kaylor winks into my artwork as well which was fun, and i also commissioned a collage from the very talented and lovely valheria and i couldn’t have asked for anything better 🥰

wildin in the TS7 tag was the best.

i made this observation that there’s this type of cocoon that looks like a cobra, which transforms into a butterfly over a period of 13 days, and like, the post got so many notes and i just had a lot of swiftie eyeballs all of a sudden on my blog which led to some hilarity. but honestly i just love geeking out over theories and it’s fun to get to do that as fans of taylor at large. things felt warm and effervescent.

my newspaper subscription

i subscribe to the TTB Times and let me just say the submissions and anons this year were overwhelmingly a delight to read through every day. also like, we did get cued in to stuff before album release and i am just thankful that there are people out there both who want to give us that and people who work to help them give us that. thank you ttb for moderating your blog (my newspaper of choice) however it is that you do and to everyone that contributed to her blog.

the whole lead up to the ME! video release

so glorious... but particular the hour before. i was rushing to pick up my kid from school and suddenly i kept getting messages from people that taylor was covering her face and framing her eyes, and i was like oh please yeah sure BUT THEN when the snake in the video had a blank eye like i don’t think you guys understand i had to wait at a bus stop and exchange pleasantries with the other moms but it was a *five alarm fire* in my mind

cause shade never made anybody less gay

stealing away to listen to YNTCD for the first time and hearing Taylor Alison Swift use the word gay in a released song for the first time was a transcendental moment

karlie’s hand in the YNTCD mv.

‘nuff said

daisies. daisies everywhere.

taylor said daisy kaylor rights, and she said it everywhere. *everywhere*. cannot, will not, get over how blessed we are.

gay gay gay gay gay.... taylor’s

sorry not sorry that wiz khalifa collab with elohim on her track FYM was ethereal and i still hope it’s a part of the preshow playlist for Lover Fest

clue hunting in klossy videos and karlie ads

call me a corporate shill all you want like, there’s always a little something in there and i also enjoy the little flickers of goofy karlie that jump out from time to time. and i know this is not the case for everyone but post eyepocalypse, karlie leaning in, winking that eye of hers time and time again was just pique comedy for me and it always made me chuckle. the brands karlie has repped have been really laying it on thick too and it’s been a joy to see. when taylor does it with her music it’s art, and for me karlie’s media presence is a form of art too 😌

oh kaptain my kaptain

kimby liked a comment of mine on her insta which was a distinct honor and privilege 😌 and really she was dropping clues left and right through spring up until she got her snazzy new job and things calmed down 🥰 of which i am so proud talk about an on brand job! also partially clearing the air about my TSL theory and the lead up to clearing that air was quite fulfilling for me and i am forever grateful for the time we shared. and to this point, the seesters in general (and kurt omg) have been quite active all year and we don’t deserve it but they’ve stuck around and it’s been calming.

album cover art release on the livestream

LIKE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE NEVER HAD A FOURTH WALL BROKEN SO DULY

i love you forever, thank you for everything

when taylor came to visit tokyo this year i was basically reenacting the swamp scene from OOTW trying to get a ticket to the secret event... i listened to ME! on LINE MUSIC for over 2000 plays, i bought multiple CD’s, it was such an ordeal and then to not have a ticket after all but still putting on my thinking cap and managing to figure out where the event was while i was at disney sea and literally running from disney sea to the venue in high heels with The Man playing on my phone was oscar-worthy and actually *being correct* and the moment i knew i was correct and how i knew i was correct was so amazing 😉 and i play by the rules so i didn’t try to get in without a ticket and i didn’t lurk. but just to have figured it out and validated it was such a thrill. seeing her on TV live was amazing as well ///

lost in japan, reprise

oh and, last year for rep tour there was this theory i had which didn’t pan out but it had to do with the clues i thought shawn mendes was dropping through autumn 2018 and anyway that’s a story for another day but as i was bopping around town, looking for lockets, staying in rooms i have no business being in, drinking lots of whisky...just to know that while i was doing *everything but* successfully meeting taylor, she literally phoned shawn and had him record lines for that eye theory remix like, i will never ever, like, guys. guys. 😂 it’s too perfect for words. the world is weird like that sometimes.

Lover

and omg Lover the album? i absolutely love lover and i loves that honeymoon period of theorizing and parallel unearthing that we did and i love how slightly creepy-cute it is and i love the whole wabi-sabi thing going on and i absolutely love every song on the album, every one, they all have so much meaning to me... and each one is teeming with little blips and bloops and sound samples and seconds of silence and i love all the brass instruments and so many lush moments... i guess my shortlist (in no particular order) would be the archer, lover, i think he knows, daylight, cruel summer, false god, cornelia street, ME! (yea i really like me 🥰). and to think about everything that went in to the album and the thrill of what it might have been and the vastness of what we don’t know, but like, the weight of that potential?? it’s like this vast pastel and black abyss of drowsy and deep feelings and i love every inch of it. it’s a vibe that reflects so much of what this year has been for me and i’m happy to have existed in this time to have had it with me.

jesus this has gotten too long, and i still have like 24 more things to write out but um, basically, as i’m sure you’ve been able to assume? i wanted to say that despite 2019 being somewhat of a slasher film affair for our fandom, i still had a goddamn great time this year and i hope everyone can find some good memories and relive them as well 🥰

[spooky-scary-imagines]

Hi :) would you write one where ChopTop met the reader the the radio station along with Strech*idk if i spelled it right* but the reader dressed similar to him and was in a band herself makeing ChopTop love struck and just his stuttering getting worst and forgeting what to say witch the reader finds cute maybe it would get slightly nsfw to to the ebd but you can pick its ok if its just fluff :3 *sorry if its to long*

((Sorry this took so long! Gotta love my boy Chop-Top and this prompt not only gave me an excuse to rewatch his intro scene but it also seems super fun! It is a challenge to figure out dialogue for him tho because he’s so bizarre in all the best ways. This one didn’t end up being too romantic but I’ve been thinking about maybe writing a continuation for this just cause there’s so much more I can do with it. So let me know if any of y’all are interested! Tagging: @i-cant-get-with-it

Chop Top meets hippie s/o @ the radio station:

It’s been a pretty rough week at the station. Your good friend Vanita had gotten a terrible call-in the other day. Initially she thought it was a prank, as the men had been obnoxious all day, but even she couldn’t ignore the terrible screaming and shill grating of metal on metal. Not when she saw that article in the paper that seemed to match the call-in. She had told you about the plan she devised with some old sheriff, about playing the tape over the radio. To you it seemed like a bad idea and a great way to put a giant target on her back, but she was insistent that she had to do it and make a difference. Despite your worries, you couldn’t just leave her alone, so you decided to stay with her after that night’s broadcast.

Tonight had done nothing to ease your concerns, angry callers had been cursing out the station and since Stretch first aired the tape. L.G. seemed to be the most upset by it, talking about how much trouble Vanita was going to get into, though anyone with eyes could tell how soft he was on her. Sadly, it didn’t seem like the feelings were returned quite the same way. At least not yet, you thought, as you watched her turn down his offer to grab some coffee with him. Guess you two were sticking around for this “Lefty” guy.

Shortly after L.G. left, you heard the phone ring. You went to reach for it, but Stretch got there first. “Hello?…Hello?…Lefty?” You could guess from her side of the conversation that she was being met with silence. You raised an eyebrow and she looked at you, equally confused. The mysterious caller hung up. “What the hell was that all about?” you asked.

“No clue,” Stretch shrugged, “We get some weird callers sometimes, but-.” As if on a cue, you two heard a small slam from the other side of the station. Vanita’s eyes flicked to you. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Stretch had been gone for a suspicious amount of time, when you decided you needed to go after her. You stood in the doorway of the hall leading to the lobby. From there, you could hear Stretch and a strange male voice, talking manically. “Hi, I know what you’re thinking. This is weird. Hope I can handle it.“ You peered out into the lobby, there you saw Vanita nervously backed against her desk, across from her was an odd man. He appeared to be in his 30s, dressed in patched and campy hippie clothes, the odd look topped off with a shappy mop of black hair and lavender Lennon specs. Though a somewhat tacky outfit, it reminded you of the way you and your bandmates dressed, especially when hanging out around at festivals. He started getting up and moving towards Stretch, and you walked out from the doorframe. Both sets of eyes looking your direction.

“Uhhh, hey man…what’s up?” you asked, awkwardly trying to redirect him. He turned to you, and looked you up and down, face unreadable.

“Wh-Who  the hell’re you? I thought it was j-just the DJ?”

“Well it isn’t space cadet! Who the hell are you?”

“I-I-I’m just a fan,” he turned back to Stretch, “Me and my little brother, Bubba, we listen to this show e-every night.” He turned back to you with a sick grin, “Music…is my life.”

You smiled at that, “Oh? I dig it. I’m in a band myself.”

His eyes went wide at that, and the barely contained manic energy in him seemed to ramp up, “O-Oh yeah? Wh-What’re you like? Something h-h-heavy? Like-like Iron Butterfly!”

You chuckled. Despite him being kind of a freaky-deaky dork, you had to admit the spaz was kind of endearing and a little cute. “Kinda. We’re more like Vanilla Fudge or Quicksilver Messenger Service than anything.”

“Far-Out! So-”

“I hate to interrupt,” Stretch cut in, “But the station is closed for the night.”

The man turned back to her, a strange glint in his eye and a sick grin that made you shudder. “Well, y’see, I wa-wanted to phone in my request but, but I al-al-always get too nervous, y’know?” He paused for a reaction before continuing, “But, well, since I’m here. In-In flesh-and-blood…I figured I could just give you my request now right!

Stretch looked to you for help and you just lifted your hands in a shrug-like gesture. “Uh, sure, sure. You can tell me your request and then you need to leave.”

The man chuckled, and started heating up the coat hanger he was holding with an old rainbow lighter. “Al-Alright…How about Cold Stone Fever from uh, Humble Pie! Or uh…” he picked at his scalp, ”In Da Vidda da Gadda babey. Heh heh yeah…” he turned to you, “Real, uh, heavy stuff, y’know.” You hid a laugh behind your hand, at his goofy smile and the fact that he got both song titles wrong.

Then that menace was back in his eyes, “Or…how about s-something like that, uh, Lefty r-request record you played today? How’d it go again?” You and Stretch’s eyes went wide as the man screamed and growled in mimicry of the terrible sounds of the attack. You looked at each other in mutual fear at this man standing between you and the exit. “Wh-What was that anyway? R-Rambo III soundtrack?” he chuckled at his own joke. “Could you play it again? Or, uh, m-maybe you co-could get me a copy!” He grinned, “You could both sign it. To-To-To a far out fan!”

He seemed to respond better to you so you spoke up, “We, uh, actually don’t have a copy. Sorry sir. But we could, er,  play your other requests.”

Something dark passed over his face that you couldn’t quite place. He looked to the side in the records vault. “Hey, uh, is this where you keep the golden oldies? And mayb-” The rest of the sentence was cut off when the lights suddenly flipped on, revealing a horrifying giant wielding what looked like a chainsaw. You and Vanita screamed, she ran off towards the back rooms while you ducked out of the way into the far corner of the room behind and hid on the far side of the sofa. You heard the man from earlier hollering in pain and wailing at the giant to “Get the girl!” You saw the giant run after Vanita through the door, and you peered out from your hiding place. You watched the man from before scream and clutch at his head. “He dented my plate! My brain is burning! Nam flashback! Nam flashback! Leatherface, you bitch, I’ll…Oh just look what you did to my Sonny Bono wig. Oh, God damn it!”

You listened to the man’s cries of pain and rage from your hiding place as you resisted the urge to help him. Judging from what you could make out from his rant, he was clearly with the man trying to kill Stretch. Oh god…Vanita…what have you gotten yourself into? He eventually managed to get to his feet and began to go through the records vault, muttering something about dogs hunting. You covered your ears and tried to block out the terrible sounds coming from behind the door leading to the recording area.

You heard a door open from the other side of the room. “Hey! What the shit?” L.G was back! Maybe he could get the police and everything would be okay.

“Lick my plate you dog dick!” the hippie yelled, flipping L.G. the bird. It would have been funny if the whole situation wasn’t so terrifying.

“What the fuck you think you’re doing in here, you crazy-looking little son of a bitch? Get out of here!” You wanted to scream at L.G. to run out of here and get help, that these guys were totally buggin and super dangerous. But you stayed quiet for fear of revealing your position. This turned out to be a lethal decision as the man lunged at L.G. brandishing a hammer. “Time for incoming mail!” he shrieked, slamming into hammer into L.G.’s skull, “Ho Chi Minh!” Over and over you heard the sickening thuds through your covered ears. You squeezed your eyes shut but you couldn’t pretend it just wasn’t happening. Hell, the same thing was probably happening to Stretch right now .

You didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt the warmth of the tears sliding down your face, but someone else did. You open your eyes to see the killer’s leering face less than a foot from your own, “H-H-Hey there, rock’n’roll b-bunny! T-th-th-thought I lost ya t-there.”

“Please, don’t kill me,” you sobbed, “I’m, like, really sorry for whatever’s making you upset.”

This seemed to make the man nervous, and he started picking twitchily at the edge of a metal plate embedded in his skull. “I-I…I ain’t g-gonna, er, kill you. J-Just…” he looked around the room frantically, as if trying to find a solution to his problem. He spied the hammer over by L.G.’s corpse and his face broke into a grin. He scrambled to grab it, whipped back around, and started getting closer to you, arms out ahead of him as if you were a spooked animal. And I guess in a way you were. “N-Now do-don’t move or-or nothing. It It ain’t gonna h-hurt.”

Your soft sobs turned into bawling, “NoNoNo Oh God PleasePleasePleasePlease Don’t do this Please don’t do this!”

You noticed some emotion flash across his face that you couldn’t figure out. “A-one and a-two and a-three!” and the hammer fell down on your skull. You collapsed, yet you kept fading in and out of consciousness. You heard footsteps coming through the door to the studio and what sounded like the two men having a one sided conversation. “Did you get her, Bubba? Did you get that bitch? She was my fave…but-but she knew! And now…nobody knows!…L-look what you did to my plate, you bitch!…Y-You got her? Di-Did you get her good?…Slap me five!

You heard footsteps coming closer but you couldn’t see what was happening as you felt yourself getting dragged over to a damp section of floor. “I got some too. Bonus bodies! Look at that beef,” you vaguely felt a slap against your thigh, but it was as if you were made of cotton. “Help me get it out of here!,” said the hippie as you felt yourself be hoisted onto the larger man’s shoulders.

 You were tossed in what seemed like the back of a truck, though you were so dizzy it was hard to tell. Finally you succumbed to your head injury and passed out. The giant, Bubba, left to sit shotgun and only Chop-top stayed by, standing over you with a dopey look on his face. “Don’t wo-worry baby, we’ll b-be home soon,” he gave you a sloppy peck on the cheek and ran back around to the driver’s side. “Alright Bubba! Let’s blow this pop stand!” he yelled, and sped off back to where the rest of the family was waiting.