#goddamn fuck i spent a good deal of time wondering what damn chapter is named 雨夜の品定め and then i remembered . Oh. its from hahakigi.

[ikusayu-no-hana]

The time period is the Kanko era, one of the eras that took place during the 400 years of the Heian period. With Kasen Kanesada as the captain, Ookurikara, Ichimonji Norimune, Sanchoumou, Himetsuru Ichimonji, and Nansen Ichimonji travel to Heian-kyo.

This was because they had detected abnormalities surrounding the history of Murasaki Shikibu, author of the world's oldest full-length novel, The Tale of Genji.

While the Touken Danshi are scouring Heian-kyo in search of Murasaki Shikibu, they come across a woman being hunted down by a suspicious group. Kasen Kanesada strategically instructs them: “Let us first observe their movement”, but Ookurikara ignores him and strikes at the enemy.

After the fight, the rescued woman introduces herself as Lady Koshosho. According to her, an intimate of Murasaki Shikibu, this era of Heian-kyo seems to have been overcome by the fictional world of The Tale of Genji.

Under the guidance of Lady Koshosho, Kasen Kanesada and the others begin to investigate the imperial court, where they observe Hikaru Genji animatedly engaging in amorous talk with aristocrats that never existed in actual history. It was a famous scene from the Tale: Commentaries during a Rainy Night.

Having witnessed a scene that had never existed in any era, Kasen Kanesada and the others take stock of their current situation. This was a world where "history" and "story" were reversed.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

What a Time to be Alive - Diego Hargreeves x reader Season I

Chapter 7- The Day That Was

Summary: Five has popped in from nowhere, yet again. Now you, Diego, Five, and Allison are on the hunt for an important file.

Masterlist - where all the other chapters are⚔️

Tagged: @sambucky8 @white-wolf-buckaroo @2cuteforyourlies @la-vie-en-amour1 @fandomoverlord221 @thatfandombitcch @alonewolfsblog @starrrybarnes @winterboobear11

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?” Questions Diego, bewildered at the random insignificant name Five just handed Allison on a folded piece of paper. Five glances up at the six of you, who are all gathered around Allison in various states of befuddlement. He lets out a short huff before taking one more sip of coffee, promptly chucking it behind him where it soars across the room forgotten and out of sight.

“I don’t know...yet. But I know that he’s responsible for the apocalypse. So we have to find him. And we have to do it now.” Explains Five, setting up a new plan of attack.

“How is he connected to what’s gonna happen?” Wonders Luther doubtfully.

 “I don’t know.” Answers Five, Diego cutting in with his own questions, “Wait so you just know his name? That’s it?”

“That’s enough.” Assures Five to the rest of you. You let out a snort, amused by his ready-to-go vagueness.

“There are probably dozens of Harold Jenkins in the city.” Adds Diego, making a compelling point, how are you guys supposed to find one guy within the giant populous of the city?

“Well, we better start looking, then.” You deadpan, not thrilled with the idea of playing a game of Where’s Waldo.

Five then goes on to fully explain the reasoning and valuable information about how he came to the conclusion of Harold Jenkins causing the apocalypse. Further diving more in depth about his former employer and what the Commission is, as well as what it does, which is to protect and maintain the timeline. It’s a large informational dump, but it does clear up more about who Hazel and Cha-Cha are. As well as what they do, so they’re timetraveling assassins who help keep the timeline in order. And you already thought your life was weird enough.

Five finishes his little rant, the rest of you all beginning to speak out at once, rambling on with more opinions and unnecessary questions. Allison commenting on how completely insane everything he just said sounds. Five’s head snaps up at that, “You know what else is insane? I look like a 13 year old boy. Klaus talks to the dead, Y/N can get shot in the head and come back to life, and Luther thinks he’s fooling everybody with that overcoat. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.” You nod at that, Klaus adding his two cents from his spot laying on the couch, “He’s got a point there.”

“We didn’t choose this life, we’re just living it. For the next three days, anyway.” Five ends with, hoping everyone will see the importance of sticking together. “But the last time we tried to stop it, we all died. Why is this time any different? Why shouldn’t I go home to my daughter?” Worries Allison.

“Because this time, I’m here. We have the name of the man responsible. Guys, we actually have the chance of saving the lives of billions of people. Including Claire.” Replies Five, a new determination pushing him forward. Allison’s eyebrows furrow in thought, “You know her name?”

“I do, and I’d like to live long enough to meet her.” Five tells her honestly.

“All right. Let’s get this bastard.” She agrees, walking closer to Five. “You had me at Gerald Jenkins.” Says Diego, you roll your eyes, Five correcting him “Harold Jenkins.”

“Whatever it is. Too many people have been killed his week, let’s not lose anyone else.” You add, walking towards the door.

“You, Luther?” Five says, surprised that Luther hasn’t joined the band wagon yet. “Yeah, you go. I’m gonna stay and go through Dad’s files. I still think this has something to do with why he sent me to the Moon.” Luther tells all of you, his mind still dead set on the Moon and why he was sent there. You roll your eyes, Diego speaking up at Luther’s unwillingness to help, “Seriously? Now you wanna make the end of the world about you and Dad?”

“No. “Watch for threats.” That’s what he told me. You think that’s a coincidence? This all has to be connected somehow.” Luther explains while looking to each of you expectantly. “No, we should all stick together.” Allison reasons, trying to get Luther to see the light. “We don’t have time for this.” You groan while reaching out to touch Diego’s arm, you just really want to leave and get on with things.

“Let’s roll. I know where we can find this asshole. Klaus, you’re with me and Y/N.” Beckons Diego, nodding for him to follow. 

“Yeah. I...I’m good. I think I’ll, uh...I think I’ll pass,” He says from the couch while waving him off, “I’m feeling a little under the weather, so..uh...” He trails off, getting up and walking past you, Diego, and Five.

 Diego and Five look to you for an answer as Klaus walks away and out of sight, you just shrug your shoulders, “The worlds a rainstorm and he’s but a tiny rain forest ant.....I don’t know, lets just leave.” You tell them with a sigh as you start walking towards the front door, the two of them following.

“When did you get all metaphorical?” Says Five.

“Since today.”

“That’s right my babes a smart one.”

“Someone has to be...and Diego it’s not gonna be you.” Five lets out a choked laugh at your teasing comment.

“I’ve missed you guys.”

——

Surprisingly enough, Diego had the right idea when it came to finding this Harold Jenkins guy at the police station. They have all the records of almost everyone in the whole city, so Jenkins record has to be here.

Diego pulls up to the side of the building, while you look out the window at the bustling city life, thinking to yourself about how none of these people could even begin to dream of the life you live. They’re all blissfully oblivious to that fact that the actual apocalypse is supposed to be coming in a couple days. None of them have a goddamn clue. They don’t know what it’s like to die, or what a heartbeat sounds like in the chest of a terrified teenage robber. They’ll never know what it feels like to look at their own reflection in a bullet, as it flies past their head. When it seems like time is rolling in slow motion, and you’re the only one fast enough to react. They have no idea, and they’ll never carry the memories of taking another humans life. But no life you have ended was ever innocent, and the world can sleep a little easier with the loss of another rapist or murderer gone from the streets.

You stay silent as Diego and Five start talking about this Jenkins guy. “I know this Jenkins dude has to have a record. We gotta get our hands on his file.” States Diego, but you do wonder how he’s gonna pull this off.

“And your plan is to what? Waltz in there and just ask for it?” Sasses Allison, doubtful about Diego’s confidence.

“I know the station like the back of my hand, sis. I’ve spent a lot of time inside.” You snort at that, “Behind bars or handcuffed.” He glares at you through the front mirror, you just smile sweetly at him.

“Whatever. Here’s the plan.”

“Plan? I’m just gonna blink in and get the file.” Five says matter-of-factly. Diego shakes his head, “No, that’s not...You don’t know the ins and outs of this place, okay?” Diego jabs defensively.

“I literally just did this yesterday.”

“What.”

“My yesterday, not your yesterday. It’ll take me two seconds. Why don’t I just go?” Argues Five clearly confused as to why Diego is being difficult about this simple task.

“Listen to me. You are not going in there. I made a call. That’s what a leader does. He leads.”

“Okay then Mr. Leader, get the damn file.” You grumble, wanting to get on with the day, considering there’s only three left. He gives you another fake mirror glare, before opening the door and getting out.

——

While Diego is off and away, getting that file, you’re currently leaned against a marble wall of some giant building, Five doing the same to your left. The both of you listening to Allison’s attempt at calling Vanya, who doesn’t appear to want to answer. Finally Diego walks around the corner, “So?” Asks Five pulling himself off the wall.

“You’re welcome.” He says while Allison snatches the file out of his hand. Suddenly her eyes go wide, “Holy shit.” She exclaims, taken aback by whatever she’s looking at.

“What?” You question, leaning in closer to see what the big deal is.

Allison turns the file around so the three of you can see the photograph of a man, “Harold Jenkins is Leonard Peabody.”

Your brows furrow in confusion, “Am I supposed to know who the fuck that is?” 

——

It feels like you’re playing a game of clue or something of that nature, the file leading the four of you to Harold/Leonard’s house in some suburban neighborhood. You all get out of the car, making your way up to the front porch. “Be careful, okay? We don’t know what Peabody’s capable of.” Warns Allison in that concerned motherly tone of hers, it’s almost comforting.

“Yeah, he didn’t seem dangerous when I first saw him. Looked kinda scrawny.” Replies Diego taking the lead up to the house.

“Yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murders.” Allison adds, you laugh at the irony. “Exactly, I mean look at Five.” You tell them, Five gives you a half offended look while muttering a short, “Thanks.”

Five and Diego continue their way up and onto the front porch, slowly walking towards the door. As they’re doing this, Allison goes to the right, heading for the back entrance. You pause on the sidewalk, right in front of the house, while looking up at the roof where you spot a window into the upstairs bedroom, bingo. Crouching down ever so slightly, you spring up, hurling your arms upwards for more momentum as you launch yourself onto the roof. And she lands a perfect 10, outstanding, you think chuckling to yourself. Both Diego and Five completely unaware of yours and Allison’s absence, you continue to the upstairs window. The window’s locked but like that’s going to stop you, you grip the bottom of it and push up, snapping off the lock as you lift it. Giving yourself access into the house, you stick a leg in, ducking under as you make your way inside. It’s clean enough, and best part, there’s no house alarm. You have a look around at your current surroundings, nothing seemingly out of the ordinary that would raise any alarm bells, in fact the place is kind of a bore if your being honest.

Walking down the wooden stairs you see Allison and Five making their way towards the front door to unlock it for Diego. A second later Diego comes bursting through the glass, crashing into the floor and making a nice mess in the process. “Subtle.” Comments Allison looking down at him. Five walks over to the door handle, turning the knob and opening it, “You know, the door was unlocked.” He tells him. You make it to the first step, watching in amusement as Diego picks himself up, “Dramatic, as per usual.” You quip, Five and Allison snickering as Diego just grumbles, “Yeah, well, my way works just fine.”

He stands up, flicking loose pieces of glass stuck to his jacket, “Spread out. Yell if you, uh.... you know, you’re in trouble.” He sighs, walking away and into the living room.

“Ah, inspiring leadership.” Comments Five bluntly. “One of the greats.” Adds Allison as the three of you watch him limp away.

“If we ever have kids, I hope they’re not that stupid.” You mutter, Allison lets out a loud laugh as she turns to you, her face breaking out into an amused smile. Five just shakes his head with a tiny smirk lacing his boyish features, he then moves to walk away and into another room.

You shrug, walking back up the stairs, Allison trailing behind you. She searches in some guest room, as you slowly walk down the short hallway, your nose catching the scent of something odd, you look up. The attic door, “Well this has never let me down in any horror movie. There’s gotta be some creepy shit up here.” You mumble to yourself, incredibly curious as to what you may find. Reaching your arm up, you grab the dangling handle, firmly pulling down the retractable steps. Letting curiosity take the better of you, you march up the wooden step-ladder, only for your eyes to land on the entirety of the Umbrella Academy in its prime. All your faces scratched where the eyes should be, plus a multitude of figurines, some of which are broken and melted. Definitely not weird or anything, totally normal.

“Guys, you’re not gonna believe the weird-ass shit I just found!” You shout down to them, excited about your creepy horror movie like find. You can hear the thumping of their shoes as they all race to where you are from their various spots in the house. Allison peaking her head up first, the others following suit. They all stand around behind you, taking in their peculiar new surroundings.

“All our faces are burnt off.” Says Allison, freaked out and bewildered by this wild discovery.

“Well, that’s not creepy. This guys got some serious issues.” Mumbles Diego, who’s leaning down to get a better view of the damage.

“I was hoping our breaking and entering would lead to something interesting, I didn’t exactly have weird-man-child-obsessed-with-childhood-heroes in mind.” You muse, picking up a half melted figurine of yourself. Your face scrunches up into a grimace at the ugly sight, you then turn to face the others, gaining their attention.

“Look. Mine even has orange eyes. Special Edition Number Eight.”

“That’s nice Y/N. Mine doesn’t have a head.” Retorts Diego.

“Five you still look like your figurine, it’s like a freaky spitting image.”

“My hair looks better.”

“Amen brother.”

“Y/N I can’t say the same for yours..ah don’t hit me I’m kidding.”

“This was never about Vanya. This was about us.” Exclaims Allison, getting more disgusted by the second as she quickly gathers the attention of the three of you. 

Without warning Five falls to the floor, making a loud thud. You all turn in concern, “Five. What...” Allison trails off, getting down on her knees to better assess the situation, you set your half melted Special Edition self down on the shelf, turning to do the same but on Five’s left. Your eyes catch a deep red stained to his fingers. A subtle whiff of blood dissipating off of Five.

You lift up his uniform shirt to better see the damage, he’s got a nasty piece of metal shrapnel stuck in his side. “Jesus, Five.” Whispers Diego, concern lacing every word.

“Five what the fuck, I was wondering why I could smell blood on the way here.” You glance at Allison for a fraction of a second, she thankfully doesn’t catch what that glance was implying, you’d be laughing at the thought if not for the current situation. Five just groans, “You have to keep going. So...close.” He whispers, passing out once again. 

“Five. Five!” Allison shouts as the both of you try and shake him awake. It’s no use, he’s to exhausted.

“Well, shit.” You add dryly, positioning yourself to lift Five’s unconscious body up.

——

Diego holds open the Academy’s door as you quickly make your way inside, holding a barely conscious Five in your strong arms. Allison and Diego right behind you, “We should have taken him to the hospital.” She whisper yells.

“A kid with a shrapnel wound might raise some questions.” Five mutters tiredly, as a stream of blood runs out the side of his mouth.

“Yeah, well, so does the murder shrine in Harold Jenkins’ attic.” Presses Allison, making a solid point. You finally reach the living room couch, laying Five down as gently as you possibly can.

“He’s still losing a lot of blood. What do we do? We gotta get the shrapnel out.” Worries Allison, looking to you for guidance. Diego randomly walks past the two of you, seemingly abandoning ship, nope he’s just found Grace who’s apparently fixed and about to walk up the stairs.

“Diego, where are you going?” Allison calls after him, but he completely ignores her.

“Fuck Diego, we don’t have time for this. I’ll get the medical stuff...just uh...keep the old guy awake. I’ll be right back.”

——

You’re leaning against Five’s wardrobe as Grace puts a fresh bandage on his wound. Your mind flashes to the times when she would have to do the same thing to you, after countless dangerous missions. Although she would actually just be painfully dislodging the shrapnel, doing her best to be as gentle as she possibly could. Those metal and glass pieces would have left you for dead, if not for your miraculous healing capabilities.

Diego leans against the door frame as Allison walks up behind him. “Anything?”

“There’s no answer at Vanya’s place. And the receptionist at her music school said she was a no-show for her lessons today.” Replies Allison, nervous as to where her sister could be.

You turn around to face them, as they both walk into the hallway. You keenly notice how Diego’s face looks almost slightly startled to see Grace up and active after what he did.

“D, you okay?” You whisper walking closer to him and Allison. “Yeah. I don’t know, it’s just surreal seeing her. I just wanna tell her that I’m s...” he doesn’t let himself finish, not wanting to reveal any important details that Allison is unaware about, “We don’t have enough time. We gotta go.” He says, turning for the stairs. “I don’t know, Diego. Five is laying there, unconscious. We need him.” Pleads Allison, holding Diego from taking off just yet.

“We can do this ourselves.” He says, his voice laced with determination. Crossing your arms you take a deep breath, “We did that already, remember? Long story short, we all died.” You sass, also wanting to stay and wait for Five.

“I’m thinking I should go back and see Claire before...” Starts Allison, Diego cutting her off, “You can’t run away from this, Allison. That’s what started this whole mess in the first place.” Diego pauses for a moment sighing, “Luther was right.” He admits, both you and Allison giving him a look. She scoffs, surprised, “I didn’t think I would ever hear you say those words.” He gives an apprehensive smile, “Yeah, well... we gotta stick together.”

You nod towards him, “Alright, hot stuff. Where do we start.” You ask him. He flashes you a small smile, “There’s no other addresses in the file, but there is another relation listed. Jenkins’ grandmother. She lived near Jackpine Road.” He explains turning to walk down the steps, you and Allison following suit. 

“You think he took her there?” She wonders.

 “I wouldn’t mind a late night drive, it’s a good enough place to start anyways.” You conclude as the three of you make your way through the Academy and out the front gate.

Continuing your way into the street, “Nope. Come on, this way.” Diego says, pulling you in the opposite direction of two police cars sitting further down the street. “Wait, but the cars back that way?” Allison says, troubled as to why Diego refuses to go in that direction.

 “Trust me, okay. Come on.” He quickly says, walking briskly away from the cruisers, you lightly touch his right arm, quickening your own steps.

 “What’s up with the cops?” You whisper, he doesn’t look at you.

“They think I killed Patch. Because of all the evidence and all my finger prints were on everything.” He mumbles, your brows furrow in frustration, “What the hell? But I was there too? Guess I didn’t touch anything.” You state puzzled, just as blue and red lights begin flashing behind the three of you.

“We’re gonna have to split up, okay. I’m in charge. Remember Vanya needs you two.” He tells you, his face showing deep worry. Why must things always go wrong?

You grab his hand, holding it tight, “Don’t say or do anything stupid, okay?” You warn him, as Allison turns to quickly flee the scene. You squeeze his hand, “I love you.” You whisper quickly, before jogging away from the cop cars, as you hustle after Allison. You can hear him mumble a quiet “Love you too” as the police cars speed into view. You glance back, your heart stinging when handcuffs are forcefully placed on his wrists. Guns drawn on him, you’d love to kick those pistols right out of their grasp. But alas, you push onward, getting into the passenger seat as Allison starts the engine, taking off down the avenue and towards this house out in buttfuck nowhere. This whole evening has had quit the turn of events.

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Wonderland by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Or on FF

Tagging:  @kmomof4 @lfh1226-linda @teamhook @itsfabianadocarmo

Chapter 7: Trust

“How do you think you’re doing so far? A few more days and you will have completed your first two weeks.”

“I guess it’s going well. I’m not really sure how else it could go.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Killian. It’s not easy facing truth’s we aren’t ready to see. And you’ve been handling that well.”

Killian wasn’t sure he agreed with the good Doc. The only thing he had faced was admitting out loud that the accident was his fault. Perhaps he was a bit surprised that he had told Emma. He didn’t expect to do that. Honestly, he had followed the girl out to apologize for being so harsh in group, only to end up telling her about the accident. He didn’t know what it was about Emma, but the woman had him a bit off his game.

“So, today let’s talk about what happened after the accident. More specifically the loss of your hand, how did you handle the news?”

He straightened in his chair, rubbing his palm on his knee. “Like anyone who is just told that their entire life had changed.” He sat back in his seat and shrugged his shoulders. “Really badly.”

“When did you find out?”

“I woke up in the hospital sometime after the accident, my brother Liam was there. I could tell something was wrong. He told me about my hand first. I guess I was in shock. I didn’t react at all honestly. It was like being numb. I don’t have any other way of explaining it. I’m a musician and suddenly that’s all gone.”

“You play guitar?”

“Played. I dunno what I’ll do now. Honestly, I haven’t even thought about it. It seems so trivial considering everything else I lost.”

“I wouldn’t say trivial, Killian. It’s your life. Your livelihood.”

“Rob always tells me I have my good looks and acting to fall back on, but honestly I did all that because I could. Music was my passion; it was something I did because I wanted to.”

“And that is something that the accident took away from you.”

Killian shuddered with guilt to even feel anger about the loss of a career. “None of that mattered after he told me about Milah and the baby.”

“And how did you handle that?”

“I lost my mind. Ripped my IV out, Liam had to bring in security to restrain me. When I finally calmed down, he asked if I had been drinking that night. The look on his face showed so much disappointment.  I got angry, kicked him out of my room. Refused to speak to him for days.”

“Why do you think you reacted that way?”

“My whole life I’ve been living in Liam’s shadow. He was always the golden boy. Dad used to tell me that if the Jones brothers were to make anything of their lives, I just needed to watch my brother. He was the best of us.”

“What does Liam do for a living?”

“He’s a hero.”

“In your mind, I’m sure.”

“No like an actual damn hero. While I was making music on a stupid guitar, he was off fighting in a war.”

“Do you feel like your success was not earned because it wasn’t won the same way as Liam’s?”

“It wasn’t honorable like his. I sing stupid lyrics about dumb shit that doesn’t matter to anyone but me.” He stood up and started pacing the back of the room. “The night we got our record deal, his convoy got ambushed. I got the call that night that that his platoon had gone missing, presumed dead or captured. Days went by before we heard anything. A week later he came home a goddamn hero. Walked his whole platoon out of danger, fought off an attack, and won a fucking Gold Star. I got a record contract. A fucking record contract and he saved ten people. There was no living up to that.”

“Your success shouldn’t be compared to your brother’s sacrifices. It is admirable what he did but that doesn’t mean that everything you have earned means anything less.”

He paused, considering his words but knowing that nothing he would ever do could possibly match the honor of his brother.

“Have you thought about inviting him for family day coming up?”

“I’m not certain he would come even if I did.”

Killian continued to pace behind the couch. He spent the rest of his session thinking about his brother and the disappointment he had caused in the past year. The last time he had spoken to him still haunted his dreams.

“Killian you need help.”

“Fuck off, I’m fine.”

“How much coke is up your nose right now?”

“Enough that you are killing my buzz!”

“This isn’t you. The girls, the drugs, I don’t even know you anymore. You and Milah were…”

“Don’t, don’t talk about her. You don’t know anything about her. You don’t get to say her name.”

“Killian.”

“Get out, Liam. I never want to see you again.”

When he emerged from the office, he was surprised to see Ruby waiting around outside the door.

“Hello lass, are you next?”

“No, I just wanted to check on you.”

Killian had been impressed at how nice the girl had been to him since the incident on the beach where he was unable to perform a simple act of intimacy. He smiled at the girl. “No need, love. I’m fine, barely a scratch.” He joked.

He stilled when he saw the blonde he had been avoiding approaching them from the other side of the courtyard.

“Hey.”

“Hey Emma, meeting with Hop?” Ruby asked her roommate.

“Um yeah, guess it’s my turn to get my head shrunk.”

She made eye contact with him and he quickly looked away. He hadn’t spoken to the girl since she banished him from her sight after their last group session. That didn’t mean he hadn’t thought about her since then. He cursed the fact that it had been more than once.

“If you don’t mind Ruby, I am going to take a run.” He excused himself and left the ladies staring as he walked away.

~*~

“You scared him off.” Ruby complained as soon as he ran off.

“What did I do?”

“You’re always so mean to him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Geez Rubes, I get it you’re fucking him but I’m not going to be lectured about being nice to someone that has made my life hell since I got here.”

She flinched and then narrowed her eyes. “You give as good as you get. Hell, I’m surprised the two of you haven’t fucked with the way you go at each other.”

“Not if he was the last man on this island.” She stated louder than she had intended.

“Trying to convince me or yourself?” She pursed her lips and walked away.

“Whatever.” She pushed through the door and into the office.

“Good afternoon, Emma.”

“I guess.” She said sourly.

“So, last group session we spoke a lot about Neal? You’ve implied that your parents liked him.”

“Of course, everyone likes Neal. My parents think he’s the best thing for me.”

“And what do you think?”

“No one cares what I want, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“That’s what happens when two lines show up on the fucking test, Neal.”

“How the hell did this happen?”

“It’s called sex, you asshole.”

“And you’re sure it’s mine?”

“What the hell, Neal.”

“Ok, sorry, what are you going to do now?”

“What am I going to do? Like this is all on me?”

“Emma, I’m just saying, we can’t have a damn baby.”

Later that evening as Emma’s legs worked the exercise bike in the lonely gym, she tried not to think about the child she gave away. She had seen his dark head of hair, ten fingers and ten toes, and she knew that if she even held him for ten seconds, she would have never let him go. So instead, she refused to hold him, only telling them his name as they took him from the room.

Henry.

She wondered where he was, what family had accepted him as their own. If he was being loved and taken care of.

She pushed herself faster, sweat pouring off her brow as she cycled harder and faster than she could even maintain. She screamed as loud as she could, pressing her feet against the pedals.

“I think you bested the mechanical beast.”

She jumped at the sound of another voice in the darkened silence of the gym.

“Can you not sneak up on me, for the last time?”

“Sorry, love. It was not my intention to sneak up on anyone. Apparently, you and I had the same idea for blowing off steam tonight. I can leave if you would prefer.”

She blew out a loud puff of air. “No, it’s not my gym, if you want to be here, I’m not going to stop you.”

He climbed onto the bike next to her and she noticed they each seemed to be matching the pace of the other, when she sped up, so did he. It was like a competition that neither would admit to entering.

The sweat was starting to drip down her back, her hair caked to her forehead. She chanced a glance in his direction and saw beads of sweat glistening on his skin. She wished to hell that didn’t make him more attractive than he already was. She silently wondered what it would feel like to run her hands across his wet flesh, immediately squeezing her thighs together as she worked the bike, the heat between her legs intensifying the more she glanced in his direction.

Suddenly his pace slowed beside her, and she breathed a sigh of relief, an unspoken win she would claim.

“You win.” He chuckled, with his hands in the air as he slowed his legs on the bike.

“Wasn’t aware we were in a race.” She tried acting as disinterested as she could.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

She glared in his direction. “Really, what gave you that clue?”

“Are you always this difficult or is it just for my benefit?”

She slowed down her speed and turned to look at him. “What do you want from me? Because I’m just trying to get through this fucking bullshit without losing my mind.”

“May I offer a suggestion?”

“From you?”

“Try something new darling, it’s called trust.”

“I don’t trust anyone but myself.”

“Come with me.” He climbed off his bike and gestured for her to follow him.

“What are you playing at?”

“No games, love.” He stared at her, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight coming through the large glass windows.

“Fine.” She groaned and followed him throughout the complex, leaving the lights of the buildings behind as her eyes saw the water come into view.

They walked without speaking for ten minutes, before he stopped and bent down to remove his shoes. “Come on, love, the sand begs to be felt, not trampled on.”

She stood defiantly watching him set his shoes to the side, pulling his socks off and standing before her, barefoot in his sweatpants. She held her breath before bending down and removing her shoes and socks and setting them next to his.

“Now what?” she said dryly.

“Let’s walk.”

She followed him reluctantly, the sand cold and coarse between her toes. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, with each footstep she felt her burden of the last few days become lighter.

“When things get to be too much, I find that the water, she calms me.”

Emma looked over at him, his hair blowing in the breeze, she noticed that his expression was lighter and calmer than she had ever seen him.

“She?”

“Aye, the ocean is my mistress.”

She laughed lightly. “Do you live near the ocean?”

“Aye. Seattle. And you?”

“New York, but I spend more time in the city than I do at the beach.”

“See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” He joked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Getting you to talk is quite the challenge. It’s like you’re afraid. Afraid to talk, to reveal yourself. To trust me.”

“I don’t trust anyone, don’t take it personally.”

“Not even Neal?”

She laughed loudly. “Nice try.”

“Sorry, love. Just trying to figure you out.”

“Why?”

“I like a challenge, I guess. Besides, no one should go through something like this alone.”

She stopped walking. “I am alone. None of us are here for each other. I don’t know you; you don’t know me. I’m not here to make friends.”

He turned to face her. “You’re not alone, Emma.”

Emma groaned. “Oh my God, why do you even care, you hate me anyway.”

“Actually, I quite fancy you from time to time when you’re not yelling at me.”

For a moment she just stared at him, his eyes latched onto hers. And then she started laughing. It began in her stomach and it overwhelmed her until she was practically giddy with choked giggles and tears that formed under her eyelids. She didn’t even know why she was laughing, nothing about what was happening to her was funny, yet here she was, full belly laughs almost taking her off her feet.

When she finally calmed, he was looking at her with a smile across his face. “Wow I haven’t laughed like that in years.” She said softly.

“Long overdue then, I should say.”

He didn’t push for anything else, he simply continued the walk, taking in the views of the ocean until his watch started to beep and they both realized the time.

“Guess we should head back.”

She looked up at him, wondering what else was going on behind those eyes of his. “Um yeah.” They turned back to where they left their shoes. “Thanks.” Her voice was so quiet she wondered if he even heard her. But he simply nodded and bent down to gather his shoes.

She expected him to say something as they went their separate ways to their rooms, but he surprised her with simply a smile and a nod before heading to his room. She didn’t know what to make of Killian Jones. But for a moment they seemed to be at a truce.

“Where have you been?” Ruby was waiting for her in their room, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Just walking. Therapy was a bit rough today.”

“Oh. Sorry. I’ve had a couple of those days.”

“You didn’t happen to see Killian around tonight, did you?”

“I’m not his keeper.” She said quickly.

“I know, I was just looking for him, couldn’t find him anywhere.”

“Booty call?”

She laughed. “Nah, just worried about him.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “Oh, why?”

“I don’t know, he doesn’t really talk about himself much, but I could tell that his last few sessions were really getting to him.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe check the gym next time. I think he goes there once everyone has left.”

“Oh?”

She turned to change her clothes, ignoring the questioning looks from her roommate.

“Get some sleep Rubes.”

Emma pulled the covers under her chin, basking in the darkness of the night. She didn’t know what to think of her evening on the beach. There were times she absolutely hated the man with one hand. Loathed the way he stared at her, knowing he was trying to get under her armor. She didn’t understand Killian Jones. But what gnawed at her even more was the fact that she wanted to understand him.

~*~

Killian fell into bed that evening with thoughts of Emma Swan. It wasn’t until he woke the next morning that he realized he didn’t dream of Milah. There was no nightmare of her in his arms, her life drained from her body. No dream of her hair blowing in the wind on the deck of his ship. A part of him was angry that Emma invaded his thoughts and kept him from seeing Milah’s face in his dreams. The other part was curious to understand what this woman had that was invading so much of his life.

“There you are!” He looked up to see Ruby approaching his table, her tray of food in her hand. “I looked all over for you yesterday.

“Sorry love, I was a bit lost in my head yesterday. Was everything alright?”

“Of course, silly. I just wanted to see you.”

He smiled tentatively at the girl. He liked Ruby. She was very nice to him, had kept their relationship or lack thereof private, and seemed to truly care about his wellbeing.

“Well, here I am. So, tell me, lass. How are you doing?”

She smiled widely. “I’m doing great. Family day is coming, and my Gran is definitely coming.”

“That’s excellent news.”

“What about you? Are you inviting anyone?”

“I don’t have my phone privileges for another day. But I haven’t decided yet if I will be inviting anyone.”

“You really should consider it. It’s another big step in your recovery when you can work through things with those you love.”

“Thanks, I’ll consider it.”

He looked up and caught Emma staring in his direction and he found himself wondering if family day would bring Emma’s boyfriend to the island. He almost wanted to see the man that had destroyed her view of trust and helped push her down the path that led her here.

He already disliked Neal, he’d heard enough in their group session about his part in leading a 14-year-old to drugs and alcohol. What kind of a man could do that to someone they care about?

How could anyone love someone yet assist them in destroying themselves?

“Come on Killian, what’s the big deal. It’s like alcohol but faster.”

“Can’t you get addicted to this stuff?”

“Baby, it’s just for fun. We won’t let it go that far. Do this with me, just this once.”

“Alright love, just this once. Anything for my Milah.”

He pushed the thoughts away, shoving the last of his food into his mouth and excusing himself from the table. He would be forced to face enough truth’s in his sessions with Dr. Hopper, he’d be damned if he were going to drive himself mad at breakfast.

[elexica]

Second Chance Christmas {{ December 26 }}  - Last Chapter -

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832405/chapters/69446895

"I can promise that I am not giving up on us.”

Full chapter under the read more!

Joey had awoken either alone or to the sounds of needy children almost every morning for the last three years.  At first, waking up without Seto there was a relief—he didn’t have to deal with him or any of the intensity that came with Seto Kaiba.

Eventually, he did miss him in that bleary moment.  It was frustrating that the first few minutes of his morning, every morning, were dedicated to a feeling of loss.

Even that had faded away. For a while now, waking up in his own bed didn’t inspire any thoughts of Seto.  Joey had returned to a state where his mornings were not tarnished by Kaiba’s absence.

But his taste of Christmas with the man—the kind one who had so graciously been a part of his family, not the cold one, who left into the snow without a second thought—was enough to leave Joey tormented.

Waking up alone had never seemed as empty than the morning of that day after Christmas.  He opened his phone screen, tapped the world clock app, and saw that it was already late in the evening in Domino.  Kaiba had no doubt already landed and returned to his life, as if nothing had happened.

The entire good experience melted right off of Kaiba.  Back to his old life, his old ways.  Unchanged, unaffected.

It felt like there was broken glass inside Joey's chest.  It was almost nauseating to feel so disconnected after everything that had happened.

But something had happened. Something had changed, Joey was sure of it.  And things could be different.  

He had gone to sleep so troubled with these conflicting thoughts, but sitting in his quiet bed, watching the snow sprinkle down, he had a new sense of clarity.

When he closed his eyes, he could see their future stretch in front of him, days and weeks and years sprawling across the room.

Joey would never get rid of all of those things that Kaiba had left behind.  He was a sentimental bastard, and at least he knew who he was.  Joey’s eyes hit the wedding photo lingering in his room.  If Joey couldn’t even toss out the extra turtlenecks after three years, Joey was not optimistic he’d ever fully clean out the house and wipe all the traces of Kaiba from the home.

And goddamn it, he knew Kaiba too.

That man wasn’t going to move on either.

So, Joey supposed, they might just keep doing this.  Every time they exchanged the kids, would Kaiba tag along for some ill-advised tryst?  Like an addiction, circling back for another self-destructive hit, knowing nothing could really change.

Or would he avoid Joey like the plague, and instead every few years fall into some act of God that would leave them to another excruciatingly loving experience.

How many times would his life be uprooted by falling back in love with that asshole?  How many longing touches would they scatter across decades?  

Playing enemies while secretly pining for each other?  Damn it, hadn’t they already gotten that out of their system?

Joey was so fucking sick of missing him.

Kaiba was too stubborn, and maybe too hurt, to make the move.  Joey hated the emotional responsibility that fell on his shoulders.

But, Joey wondered, had he actually laid it all on the line?  He never once asked Kaiba not to return to Japan.  He blocked the door, but he didn’t actually say it.  He showed up at the airport, but he didn’t actually say it.

His ex-husband had the emotional intelligence of a brick on a good day.  Joey wasn’t just as bad as Kaiba for not just saying it.  But Joey sat in bed, the cold covers pooling around him, and considered that he could be part of the problem.

And maybe, if he wanted them to be back together, he had to do it.  If he didn’t want to live this way forever—he was in a position to change it.  He wasn’t corporation stock, he wasn’t an asset, something without any control over what Kaiba did.

So Joey got up.  He made himself some coffee.  It was seven in the morning, but he was sitting at the kitchen counter, dated laptop jammed open, on the speakerphone with Serenity before the hour was over.

Everyone always admired Kaiba’s force of will.  A personality that could overcome every adversity, defy reality itself, control space and time.  Master the global marketplace, dominate the NASDAQ, and change the fabric of society.

But Joey’s force of will was something else too.  And he wasn’t going to wait for however many years it took for Kaiba to admit that he wanted to stay there, in their home, raising their children together.

If he had to, he’d drag the bastard straight from Japan.  His dumb husband was just waiting there, getting old and sad in some fancy condo.

And so he spent the entire plane ride to Domino city trying to figure out exactly what it was that he wanted to say to set his stupid, stupid man straight.

. . .

“Mokuba?” Joey hoped it was still the right phone number.  The Kaiba brothers were always updating things, changing software, making their communication methods that much trickier to obtain.  It was a real possibility that this phone number now only went to a stranger.

“Jounouchi!  What’s up?  How are you doing?  The kids are growing up so freakin’ cute!”

Joey was disarmed by how warm Mokuba always was.  And it laid bare just how little he’d really thought through the plan.  “Um, well, I’m in Domino.  I’m here to see…” Joey almost said Kaiba. But it was off-putting to refer to their shared last name.  It never bothered him as a teen, but as an adult it sometimes hit Joey that Mokuba probably didn’t love the traces of language that made it clear that he was the secondary Kaiba when it came to these affairs.  Still, Joey wasn’t sure he was allowed to call him Seto anymore.

“Ah, I see.  Nii-sama just got back yesterday.  Seto didn’t tell me any of the details, but…” Mokuba’s tone shifted.  “Everything okay?”

The question was stingingly sincere.

Joey sighed on the other end of the line.  “Yeah, you know your brother.  I mean.  Look.  I’m in Domino and I guess I just need to see him.  It’s dumb—”

“It’s not dumb,” Mokuba interrupted, sounding more adult than Joey had ever heard.  It was like he really was getting an edict from the esteemed Vice President of Kaiba Corporation.

“Yeah.  Can you get me a badge or whatever to visit his office.  We need to talk and…”

“I see.  He can’t be allowed to dodge it, huh?”

Joey laughed, despite himself.  It was a bit mournful, but it wasn’t totally devoid of life.  “Nope.”

“Yeah, I can hook you up.  I’ll get the pass sent to your phone.”

Joey nodded, even though his phone was conventional, and Mokuba couldn’t see him.  “Thanks.  And congrats on getting married.  From what I’ve heard, she sounds like a keeper.”

Joey could hear the glowing smile on the other end of the phone.  “Yeah, I think so too.”

. . .

The lobby of Kaiba Corp. HQ was mostly unchanged since the last time Joey had seen it, though it looked somewhat creepy in the dark.   It was lightly, tastefully, decorated for the season.  Twinkle lights on some of the pillars, echoing in the dark like suspended lightening bugs.

So close to his goal, Joey stalled.  He paced in the empty cavern of the lobby.  Maybe he shouldn’t bother.  Maybe this whole adventure was some twisted flight of fancy, brought on by watching one holiday film too many.  Did he look too closely at the snowflakes trapped in Kaiba’s eyelashes and see something that wasn’t really there?

In the middle of his troubled, nervous walking, Isono appeared.  Put together and just like Joey had seen him when last trading off the kids.  Sunglasses on—even though it was the dead of night in the deepest part of winter.  Stern and silent, Isono directed him to the elevator.

Isono never had much of a relationship with Joey.  The man had watched him at most major life events outside of his house for the fifteen years preceding the divorce.  Joey realized that his presence was somewhat more comfortable than all of the anonymous faces Joey had passed by in the once-familiar city.

The floor indicator increased quickly as the two men rocketed toward the top floor, where Kaiba could properly brood over the entirety of Domino.

In the stilted silence, they arrived at the top floor, and Isono put his arm out to stop the elevator doors.

“It is good you are here,” Isono said.  Something about his voice sounded reflective, and it gave Joey the confidence he wished he did not need.

The city glowed in the background, pulsing like magma.  Kaiba sat at his broad desk, illuminated by the blue light laptop in front of him and the ethereal glow of the city at his back.   Joey was pissed that when he walked in, Kaiba didn’t bat an eye.  It felt as if Kaiba had set the appointment.

Joey wondered to himself whether Mokuba had messaged him, or inadvertently triggered some alarm in procuring the pass.  Even so, Kaiba was where he was supposed to be, sitting in his dark office, typing away at whatever it was he did all day.

Since the grand entrance did not have the desired effect, Joey proceeded to stomp over to Kaiba’s desk, push down the screen of the laptop, and kiss him.

This succeeded in starling Kaiba, his blue eyes wide in surprise.  Almost too shocked to kiss back.  Almost.  Kaiba still reached a hand across, thumb skimming over Joey’s cheek.

“Y’know why I did that?” Joey asked, breaking the kiss.

Kaiba shook his head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  “No, I—what are you doing here?”

Joey propped himself up on Kaiba’s desk, sweatpants-clad butt shifting a stack of papers.

“I kissed you because I wanted to.  And I’m here because I want to be.  And I didn’t buy a return ticket, Kaiba.  Because I want to fly back with you.”

Kaiba opened his mouth to speak, but Joey silenced him with a hand.

“I’m gonna make it really simple for you, cause apparently this is hard for you.” Joey announced.  “Here’s the situation: I broke up with you because you refused to be part of the family in the way that I needed.  You were acting like a bad partner, and I did not deserve that.  But…  You… you proved that you could be a good partner.  So here’s the deal.”

Joey walked forward, completely enveloped by Kaiba’s heated stare.  “I want you.  I want you to be at the house.  I want to raise our kids together.  I want to go to sleep in the same bed with you, I want to wake up in your arms, I want a lot of other things.”

Kaiba wisely kept his mouth shut, opting to watch Joey with soft, sad eyes.  Joey wasn’t going to let it get to him.

“And I think you want that too.  You were happy this week.  A lot.  And this is sappy but I’m gonna lay it out.”

Kaiba gestured with one hand that Joey should continue.  The darkness didn’t leave much for Joey to see, but the way that the glare of the city glinted off of his eyes… it looked a little like water was pooling.  Joey took that to mean that his evaluation was correct, enough—Kaiba did love to correct people.

“I don’t know how many special moments, or special people we get.  And I don’t know how many days I’ll get to look over and see you.  And what a mess you are and how strangely you hide that and… and you know what?!”

Kaiba opened his lips a little, but didn’t have anything to say.  So Joey dismounted from the desk and continued.

“I came here, cause I’m done wasting my time.  You talk so much about your precious time, how busy you are.  But my time is mine, and I’m sick of watching the kids grow up without you. I’m sick of not seeing the magic parts of you, and the genius and the… we fit together, damn it!  We’re both fucked up, we’ve got no idea how to do any of this.  But I want to figure it out with you.”

Joey realized he hadn’t been breathing as he let it out.  He took a breather, trying to collect his thoughts, wiping at his own face.

“So. Yeah.  I have a proposal for you.  Fly with me back to New York.  Let’s try again.  Like, really try.  You actually be part of this—like my partner.  We’re too old for the on-again off-again bullshit.  I don’t want to have to get over you.  And honestly, I’m worried you’ll never get over me.”  Joey shrugged, “You’re not really the moving on kinda guy.”

Finally, Kaiba stood up behind the desk.  His shadow was so imposing, a terrifying mixture of height and darkness.  “So what?  You want me to be on vacation forever?”

Joey hadn’t anticipated that much vitriol in his voice.  He had been pretty proud of his speech.

“No.  But... you are just as free as you want to be.”

Joey wanted to run, felt the fight or flight instinct lighting up in his gut.  But he was finally done retreating.  Joey walked towards the silhouette.

“I’m going to ask you—just once more—do you want to do this?  Not my way, and definitely not your way.  But some new way that we can find together.”

“I am not a man of compromises, Jounouchi.”  Kaiba turned away.

“When you want something, really want something, nothing can stop you.  That’s what I’m counting on.”  

“When have you known me to do anything by halves, Jounouchi?”

“The last year of our marriage.” The answer had been given almost instantaneously, but it hung in the air for a full minute.  “But you’re right, I don’t think that’s really who you are.  So, come back to New York.  And prove it to me.”

Joey took one more step forward.  He could feel Kaiba’s tense breath, they were so close.  “You can be emotionally constipated on your own time.  I’ll go first: I’m sorry for not being more honest and just telling you what was going on.  Now it’s your turn to apologize.”

“What do you want me to apologize for?”  Kaiba demanded.

“You’re the genius.  Whatever you think will be enough to convince me to let you come back to the house so that we can live our lives together.  The way we were meant to.”

“I don’t—”  Kaiba started.

“Do not call my bluff, Kaiba.  You really don’t feel sorry about any of this?”  Joey waved his arms, gesturing at everything.

“… I…” Kaiba looked out at the vast city below, glowing electric with holograms and New Year’s decorations.

“You don’t have to say it.  The best apology is shaping up.  And I know you get it.  I’ve seen you get it.  So please.  Just… was it that bad?  Just being my husband for a few days?”

“No.”  Kaiba refocused, look drilling into Joey.  “I regret allowing you to labor under the assumption that our relationship was not important to me.  That you were not the brightest light in my life.”

Finally, achingly slow and gentle, Kaiba tilted his head down and pressed a kiss to Joey’s forehead.

“I cannot promise that it will never happen again.  But I can promise that I am not giving up on us.”

Fin.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as “determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

“you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

!!

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

[queentargary3n]

unfaithful

Sasusaku Fan-fiction AU Lawers Rated M 

FF.net      Link to Chapter 1

Chapter 5

Naruto walked out to his porch, to find Sakura and Sasuke having an amicably conversation, which made him glad, not only because he didn’t want to lose any of them in the firm, just imagining how difficult the office would become if these two didn’t make up made his head spin, but also because he was concerned for Sakura, Sasuke could be a complete asshole sometimes, but Naruto knew his heart was in the right place, he usually didn’t mean the insults he threw around.

“There you are Sakura-chan, come back in, Hinata wanted to show you some baby pictures” Naruto said to the pinkette.

“Yeah, coming” Sakura responded to the blond, then turn over to look at Sasuke one more time before going back inside. “You need to ice that, bring down the swelling”

“So…? Everything Ok now?” he asked his brooding friend after Sakura was gone.

“Sure. I think” Sasuke replied. Although he wasn’t, really. There were many things going on in his life right then, things he needed to figure out, starting with what he had found in Karin’s bed, and the fact that instead, all he could think of was Sakura’s delicate hand touching him, it was very concerning for him. I’m messed up. He thought

“You think? You did tell her you are sorry, right?” Naruto asked, crossing his arms around his chest and closing his eyes, trying to figure out this whole drama.

“Yeah… were on friendly terms I’d say”

“Friendly huh? That’s unlike you” his blond friend mentioned.

“And what makes you say that?” Sasuke questioned.

“You’re a bit of a…” dick he wanted to say but decided against that. “Loner…  I remember when we hired Shino it took you a whole year to learn his name, and even then, you barely even acknowledge him, it’s like you didn’t even noticed he was there”

“That’s because I didn’t notice he was there, he’s too quiet!…” Sasuke defended and continued. “but… I should tell you something, I guess…” Sasuke began, trying to find the best words to describe his past relationship to Sakura. “Sakura and I know each other… from before”

“You do? From…?” Naruto asked, confused and scratching the side of his cheek.

Sasuke took a deep breath, formulating the best response he thought necessary to give Naruto. The two men didn’t have any secrets from each other, at least not intentionally, Naruto had definitely earned Sasuke’s trust, he had saved him from a life of criminal activity Sasuke didn’t know how to disentangle from. But this, his past with Sakura felt too personal, too intimate to share. Even so, this was Naruto, and Naruto always managed to get the truth out of him, one way or the other, so Sasuke choose the path of least resistance.

“Sakura and I used to be together” The Uchiha said quietly.

“Huh? Together like together? when?” why Sasuke always felt the need to give Naruto incomplete information, he never knew.

“We were together back in high school, before I left, I hadn’t seen her since” he offered in explanation.

“No Freaking Way!” the metaphorical gears started to turn inside Naruto, he started to remember his last own love confession to Sakura, during their Junior year in college.

It had never been a secret that Naruto was in love with Sakura, they spent every free moment they had together, and during the third year in college, during a drunken bender, he began to question her about her feelings.

“I just… love you so much Sakura… why don’t you want me…?” He couldn’t bring himself to care what he sounded like under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol.

“I do love you Naruto…” Sakura said as she hugged him gently. “It’s just… not the way you do… or deserve… I’m broken Naruto”

“You’re not broken Sakura-chan… you are … you are perfect” He drunkenly offered.

“Naruto… I used to be in love with someone else… he left… he abandoned me, he left me in the middle of the road, all alone, to go do…doesn’t matter, the thing is I haven’t gotten over that. And you can’t wait for me to do… not when there is someone wonderful waiting for you and you’re too stupid to notice. Please just… notice her” She seemed to sober up by explaining.

“Wait! Are you the asshole who abandoned her in the middle of the road? How the fuck?” Naruto marbled at the improbability of the whole affair.

“She told you…” it wasn’t a question; it was a statement mostly to himself.

“Yeah mentioned it back in the day, ya know? Who would’ve thought were the prickhole? that’s what we used to call you back in college by the way”

“Did she say why?” Sasuke asked, wondering how much Naruto already knew about his past.

“No, but I can imagine” Naruto said, remembering first the time he met Sasuke, handcuffed to his hospital bed, police officer standing watch at the door, bloody bandages covering the remnant stump where his left arm had been.

Sasuke was the very first pro bono case, Naruto’s godfather made him take right after graduating law school. According to Jiraiya, he was just a kid, and he showed a lot of promise. apparently, he was some kind of genius who had just made all the wrong decisions in his life.

“He reminds me of you” His godfather had said. “A kid without a family, he’s got the same look on his face you had when I got you. Makes me think what would’ve happened if you’d stayed all by yourself”

Naruto made a commitment to his godfather, and to himself then, to help get this guy out of whatever mess he’d gotten himself into. Starting with the law, Sasuke was wanted for being associated with a motorcycle gang suspected of dealing guns in the black market, between other more gruesome things speculated. He was caught fleeing the scene of suspected arson, a police cruiser had rear-ended him on the road, casing the motorcycle Sasuke was riding to slid under an 18-wheeler. He was extremely lucky to be alive; he was told by the doctors.

“You need to tell me everything so that I can help you, ya know” Naruto had said, taking a seat next to the black-haired guy’s hospital bed.

“I don’t need some kid attorney to represent me” Sasuke responded with disdain.

“grrrr…. You really do get on my nerves ya know? And we’re the same age asshole” Naruto responded; he’d memorized Sasuke’s file a soon as he got it. But he was going to need more than his background to help him. “I think we can get you out of this easily, no matter what you did, that police officer shouldn’t have rear-ended you like that, we can get all of this thrown away claiming police brutality, I mean you lost your damned arm…”

“I don’t want your goddamned help!” Sasuke lashed out at him.

“It doesn’t matter if you do, you have it, deal with it” Naruto said, standing up from where he was seated and taking one last look at the 22-year-old man in bed, before leaving him.

There was something about him that made Naruto not want to give up on him. His godfather had been right, he reminded him of himself, but a different version, a version of himself who had just given up hope things will get better. He couldn’t handle that.

He was there throughout Sasuke’s entire recovery. Everyday seated by his bed, talking about anything, where Sasuke mostly stayed quiet, but more present than any attorney would have ever been for a client. He paid all of his medical bills and years forward of rehabilitation therapy. And when Sasuke questioned him about it, finally deigning himself to offer a word to the blond attorney, he simply said “Have a lot of money, inheritance ya know? Don’t know what to do with it” and shrug him off.  

It sounded supercilious, as if bragging about how much money he had, but Sasuke understood the meaning behind the words, inheritance… He was alone too. He later learned that Naruto had lost his parents at a young age. Going up and down the foster care system until his godparent was able to get custody. Even then he was nothing but trouble, until he reformed himself. Stipulations left by his late parents mentioned he needed a college degree to be able to get access to his inheritance.

“At first it was all for the money, ya know?” Naruto told him sadly. “But then I started to make friends, real friends who were smart and made me want to be better for them too”

“I don’t have any friends” Sasuke answered. He had people he used for his means. And while Orochimaru claimed, everyone who entered the Brotherhood, as he called the gang, was like family, he never gave a damn about any of them. He didn’t have anyone he wanted to be better for, not anymore.

“Well you do now.” The blond one gave him a smile that for some strange reason made him want to smile too. “Now how about you tell your friend why you joined a gang?”

“Asshole” Sasuke exhaled, irritated at how stupid that line was.  He fisted he bedspread of the cheap motel he was currently living in with his sole remaining hand and began “I was 8 when my parents passed away, leaving my brother to raise me, he was only a few years older, but we did good for some time, then he left me too, just out and left, didn’t even get a reason or goodbye, just one day… he was gone, I had to keep that a secret if I didn’t want to be put in the system and keep my parents home. After I graduated from high school, I found that he died. Orochimaru came to me then, said that Itachi had joined the Brotherhood and was killed by a rival gang. He offered me a chance to get revenge. I took it. My brother was a good man, he didn’t deserve to die, I didn’t understand why he’d even joined the Brotherhood in the first place, I guess I joined too to figure that one out”

“Is that what you want, to get revenge? No matter what happens to you?” Naruto asked him.

“I don’t even know what I want, I don’t have anything else to do” Sasuke responded.

“I can help you figure out what happened to your brother Sasuke, and get justice, not revenge but justice, you don’t have to throw your life away for that” He offered.

x

“Does Karin know that?” Naruto wondered about Sasuke’s wife, with both girls working at the office, and how dramatic Karin tended to be, drama was bound to ensue.

Sasuke shook his head no. “I hadn’t seen Sakura until you brought her to interview, and I never told Karin”

“Should we keep it that way?”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t matter either way” Leaving a crying Sakura in the middle of a dark empty road had been one of the biggest regrets of his life. It was a terrible thing to do to a girl, but he needed to be terrible, otherwise she wouldn’t have let go. And with Karin, he didn’t currently feel like opening up about his past to her, besides she was keeping secrets of her own.

“Well she works with us now; we don’t need that kind of drama around the office” Naruto said. “Just… try to be nice to Sakura, or at least your normally aloof self, she’s a good person, and a good asset for the company, she doesn’t need you mistreating her like that, I care about her”

“I’m a professional, if you’re suggesting I can’t keep it that way…”  

Naruto interrupted him. “You know very damned well what I mean asshole”

And he did, he didn’t exactly keep it professional when he called her a whore. He still had the feeling he needed to make amends for that. He didn’t know how or why, but he would try, it was the least Sakura deserved of him, and he knew, but he simply told his friend “Yeah” and went back inside.  

x

Thank you so much if you are still reading this. Please leave a comment so I know you’re still interested! constructive criticism is always appreciated. Is this were you thought the story was going? What do you think should happen next?

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 33

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​

It’s six thirty in the morning when he steps out onto the front porch; barefoot and blurry eyed, still clad in just a pair of boxer briefs, cup of coffee in one hand and phone in the other.  After Nik’s call he’d fallen into a restless sleep; dreaming of Dhaka and the night at Gaspar’s house when he’d been given the five million dollar deal. This time he’d made a different decision; willingly giving both Ovi and Esme up in exchange for money and his freedom. Asif had been there, sitting in a darkened corner; watching and listening. A pleased, victorious smile on his lips as his right hand man brought over his two new favourite playthings. They’d been drugged; minds and eyes hazy, their movements sluggish and uncoordinated.  He’d had a change of heart at the last moment; offering his life in exchange for hers. Begging and pleading with Asif to ‘take me instead of the girl’.  Asif had just laughed, then grabbed her by the hair and forced her to look at Tyler. Mocking her, telling her to look at the big, strong man now; crying like a baby and bargaining to save her. How did that make her feel? Knowing he could be so weak? That she was the one capable of making him that way? Is that really what she wanted? Someone so pathetic? Or did she want a real man like him. Then he’d his hand had moved to her throat; fingers digging into the soft flesh with enough power and pressure to steal her breath. And he’d kissed her. Savagely. Brutally.

And she’d kissed him back.

Tyler woke up breathless; near sobbing. Tears spilling down his cheeks,  his heart thundering, and chest aching. Initially panicking at the unfamiliar surroundings and bolting upright, wide -almost terrified- eyes taking in everything around him; the furnishings, the color of the walls, his old friend sleeping soundly across the room, the cattle dog sitting beside the couch, curiously watching him.  And it hadn’t been until he’d glanced out the window and caught sight of the mountain range, tree line, and brush that reality had finally settled in.  He was no longer in Dhaka. Not at Gaspar’s outside the city limits.  It was seven years ago. Not now. He’d turned down the offer and Asif hadn’t been there; he’d never laid a hand on her and he’d never kissed her. None of that had ever happened. Just his mind -broken and in tatters- playing tricks on him. They’d made it out of Bangladesh. She was saife. At home. In bed. THEIR bed.

He’d been tempted to call; just to hear her voice; needing that extra bit of reassurance that everything was fine. SHE was fine. But he knew what the mornings could be like; up before the sunrise with the baby, then tending to Declan and getting breakfast made and three kids up and ready for school. Ovi would be there; promising to keep an eye on things and lending a hand whenever it was needed. Kyle couldn’t be relied on; too busy getting his rocks off with Salena. Or whatever the hell her real name is. And Tyler had briefly wondered if getting into Kyle’s life had been part of whatever the new neighbor was up to; a way of weaseling her way into their lives for some fucked. The uncertainty eats at him; knowing that something isn’t quite right yet not being able to prove it or get the information that he needs. Way too many things pointing towards trouble; the Jeep with the stolen plates and the driver with the earpiece that had been watching him and the kids. Salena getting out of the passenger seat with a stack of folders under her arm and no record of her actually existing. All the ingredients, everything needed, to create a huge goddamn mess.

His head throbs. A mixture of lack of sleep and not eating properly. The cravings are intense. When he’d gone into the kitchen to make himself a coffee, he’d been greeted by all the whisky and scotch bottles that littered the counters and shelves; some empty, others half full, a handful still sealed.  And his hands had been shaking as he’d considered it; one on a glass and the other around a bottle of scotch. His brain exhausted from dealing with the nightmare,   trying to piece together the bullshit with the neighbor, and the call from Nik and the threats she’d made.  A single wouldn’t hurt. That’s what the demon on his shoulder had been telling him. That he could stop at just one and walk away; get enough to satisfy the craving, get the taste of it on his lips and tongue.  And he’d been close. So close. Seconds away from pouring the scotch into a glass.  And then as quick as the desperation and the need had come, it had disappeared. Leaving him feeling  weak and shamed and completely disgusted with himself.

Now he sits on the edge of the porch, feeling ground with his feet pressed against the damp earth. It had rained considerably last night; puddles of mud, lower temperatures, and a fresh and familiar earthy smell in its wake. Sadie hasn’t left his side since he’d arrived yesterday; now pressed tightly to him, chin resting on his thigh as he sips his coffee and checks his text messages and emails. Skipping over the angry rants left by Nik and the irritated ‘clearly out of fucks’- one that Yaz had contributed. Tyler hasn’t heard from him since New Zealand; the one other man taking it as a personal slight that he’d given it all up and walked away without even a glance back.

There’s dozens of emails from the contacts he’d reached out to; mercs wanting to work for him and offering their services, retired guys wanting to get back into the game, people who can supply him with weapons and ammo and every other accessory and piece of technology he can imagine.  Even mail from former clients; guys he’d done jobs for and had been so impressed with his efficient -and successful- work. They’re pleased  that he’s not only   back in action, but that he’s actually still alive. They have resources for him; supplies, money, names and numbers of other high profile people that may need some work done.  And he sees the emails that his wife has returned, smiling as he reads her replies; concise, confident, intelligent. As if she’s never spent a single moment away from the job; smoothly and effortlessly transitioning back into her old life.

It won’t be easy; balancing the job and running a business while trying to keep a marriage afloat and raise five kids. But there’s no doubt in his mind that they can do it. They’re stronger together than they are apart; they always have been. And if they can survive the past seven years -especially his addiction issues and a six month separation that should have broken them-, they can survive anything.

He sends a text message. Telling her how much he loves her. Misses her. How he can’t wait to see her. That he’s proud of her. Not just the way that she’s handling the business side of things, but EVERYTHING.  The way she’s always fought for them. For HIM. How she raises his kids. Pouring his heart out with every letter that appears on the screen. He’d not normally that ‘type’, grand displays of affection and sincere, romantic words not his strong suit.  But the nightmare -especially the way Asif had kissed her and she’d reciprocated- has left him feeling unsettled; needing to get things off his chest. The things he feels but always struggles to say.

She quickly sends a text in response. I LOVE YOU. SO MUCH. WE MISS YOU.  Accompanied by a selfie of herself and Millie lying in the middle of their bed, both with sleepy smiles and messy hair and hands down the two most beautiful girls in the world. And he thinks of what Koen had said; about how lucky he is and that any woman who would stuck his side -through everything- was a woman worth holding onto him. She could have easily left that day on the bridge; he wouldn’t have blamed her if she did. But she’d ignored Nik and stuck around and put her own ass on line in an attempt to save his. And that’s nothing you easily thank someone for.

“You really are out of your damn mind,” Koen grumbles, as he wanders out onto the porch, his own cup of coffee in his hand; hair messy from sleep and eyes stilly glassy from all the booze he’d consumed. “Up at these hours of the morning.”

“This is pretty normal for me. Has been since I got clean.”

“Probably used to getting up with the rugrats,” Koen reasons, and takes a seat beside him. “Everything okay?” he nods down at the phone still clutched in Tyler’s hand. “At home?”

“Yeah. Everything’s good. Just checking in on everyone. Making sure they haven’t driven their mom crazy yet.”

“She must already be crazy. Having that many kids with the likes of you. How the hell she puts up with you is beyond me. I’d only be able to stand looking at that ugly mug for so long.”

“You must not look in the mirror very often.”

Koen smirks. “Smart ass. You always were quick with the shit head comments. Thought maybe all that oxygen you were deprived of might have slowed you down a bit. But here I am, dealing with your crap.”

“Admit it. You missed me.”

“About as much as I miss my two ex wives,” Koen scoffs, and then digs a playful elbow in Tyler’s ribs. “You miss it? Living out here?”

“Not really. I have a better life now. A nice place right on the beach. Tons of property. Perfect for raising kids. Wouldn’t have been able to do that out here. We probably would have tried, bt…” he sips his coffee and shrugs. “...we’re happy where we are.”

“Smartest thing you ever did; coming home. No better place to bring up a handful of kids, if you ask me. It’s weird as hell though,” he chuckles. “You doing the whole daddy thing all over again. Never thought I’d see the day, to be honest.”

“Neither did I,” Tyler admits, and he thinks about the picture he’d received just minutes before. Millie with her messy, unruly hair and those huge blue eyes that crinkle at the edges when she smiles. How’d he cried when she’d been born and a nurse had placed her in his arms; tears of both relief that she’d made it safely and immense gratitude that he’d been given that chance again.

After Austin had passed away and his marriage disintegrated, he’d thought that it was it for him. His life had been a mess...HE’D been a mess...and he couldn’t imagine meeting someone that he’d be able to have that kind of experience with. That he’d trust enough to let his guard down around and that could tolerate him and his bullshit long enough to actually fall in with him. That he’d ever find someone to fall in love WITH.

“She’s going to be a heart breaker that one,” Koen says. “The oldest. Those eyes of hers? All the boys are going to be tripping over themselves to get to her.”

Tyler frowns. “They’re going to have to get through me first.”

“Poor bastards. They’re going to be scared shitless when they walk up the house and you’re the first one out to greet them. I feel for them; trying to date a girl that has you as their father. They’d have no clue that you’re capable of tearing them in half.”

“Anyone touches either of my girls, no one will ever find their bodies. No boyfriends. No dates. No dances. None of that. No one is getting close to them. Ever.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Koen chuckles, and takes a swallow of coffee. And for several minutes they sit in silence;   enjoying the feel of the breeze and the smell of fresh, damp earth.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” his friend says. “With the whole merc business. I thought one brush with death would be enough. Apparently not.”

“Things will be different this time. I won’t have to go out in the field as much. Only if things really go to shit.”

“Don’t they always go to shit?”

“Sometimes. Dhaka was the worst, but it wasn’t the first time things went wrong and it won’t be the last. Hopefully we can avoid that level of shit show. I know what I’m doing. I’m not some rookie going into this blind. It was my life for years.”

“But why do you need it to be your life now? Look what you’ve got going for you. You’ve got a wife and little ones. Stability. Why put all that on the line for who you used to be?”

“You having second thoughts?”

“Nope. I said I’m in, I’m in. I’m just worried about you. I don’t you throwing your life away. I don’t want you losing your kids and that pretty little wife of yours. You got a thing going. A damn good thing. You don’t need to fucking that up.”

“It’s something I need to do,” Tyler says. “I need to get back out there. Get back that piece of who I was. I need to feel like I’m doing something worthwhile with my life.”

Koen frowns. “You don’t think you are? Doing something worthwhile?”

“What am I doing? I don’t have a nine to five job. No skills outside of what I learned in the military and on the job. I pick up odd shit here and there. Nothing steady. I spend more of my time in the gym or out in the water or spending time with my wife.”

“And you’re complaining about that last part? Spending time with the likes of her? What the fuck is wrong with you? Give her to someone who’d appreciate her then.”

“I’m not complaining. Far from it. I’m just saying there needs to be something more to this life. I feel like I need to be doing something more. I need to feel useful again. Like I’m not just washed up, broken down ex soldier with a drinking problem.”

“You’re a husband. And a dad. You help raise little human beings. There’s nothing useless about that. You should be sitting back enjoying your life. Appreciating what you have right in front of you. How you gonna feel if all this blows up in your face? If things go to hell and you lose everything? What the hell you gonna do then?”

“I don’t know. Put a gun in my mouth?”

Koen scowls. “I’m being serious, mate.”

“So am I.”

“All I’m hoping is that you got your shit together and you know what you’re doing. Because this is some serious stuff here. Getting back into being a merc. And you’ve got a lot to lose now. You’ve got everything to lose. That’s all I’m saying.”

Tyler smirks. “When did you become so sensitive and sentimental?”

“Don’t be a dick about this. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you going back into this and losing what you have. Because you finally got your shit together and got a life that’s worth living.”

“I appreciate you worrying about me and all that, mate. I do. But I’ve got it under control. I know what I’m doing. This isn’t going to be like last time. I won’t let it be.”

Koen sighs. “You always have been a stubborn sonofabitch.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Tyler insists. “And I wouldn’t be doing it if I couldn’t handle it. Things will be alright. Esme and I are in this together. We’re on the same page. We’re not going to let this break us.”

“I hope not,”  Koen says. “Because I don’t think you’d survive that.”

***

His flight arrives on time, touching down shortly before noon hour at Cooktown airport. She parks the truck on the tarmac and waits; a pair of aviator style sunglasses covering her eyes, fingernails drumming against the steering wheel. She gives the pilot a small wave and a pleasant smile when he nods in her direction; they’d met briefly two days before, when he’d come to the house after Tyler had sought out his help.  Short and broad shouldered; brown hair cropped tightly to his head and kind green eyes that sparkle when he smiles. The quintessential ‘boy next door’ with his youthful wholesome good looks and his khaki pants and crisp white golf shirt.  Quite the juxtaposition compared to Tyler; all power and muscle and the tattoos and scars that tell of a hard life spent living on the edge.  

This is the furthest she’s ever gotten into the job; not only helping organize and run things, but the acquiring of weapons and ammo and other supplies, and the handling of money -big money-  aside from her own payouts. It makes her anxious; knowing that she’s one of two people that others will come to now. Instead of being approached with work and offered jobs,  now she’s in charge of finding and assigning them. Gathering intel had been one thing; she’d spent years honing those skills. Being boss is an entirely different animal all in itself.

So much for not getting ‘too involved’.

Four large and heavy locked trunks are placed in the bed of the truck, followed by several smaller duffle bags that are loaded into the back seat. All containing a shockingly generous amount of automatic and semi automatic rifles and handguns, various types of grenades and their launches, knives, and utility vests. Whatever immediate gear that a merc would meet. All would be placed in a storage facility on the outskirts of town, save for a handful that would be kept in the two locked and secure  gun lockers  that already exist at home; one in their garage and the other in the attic.

Once things are safely loaded, an envelope of money is exchanged. Everything being handled off the books; no paper trail that can connect the pilot to the or the very illegal transport of weapons. You never know who is watching. Now that word has gotten out and spread like wildfire, support and interest are pouring in. But it isn’t just the good-intentioned that are paying attention; a man like Tyler Rake burns a lot of bridges and makes a lot of enemies. Evil, dangerous people who feel as if he wronged them and have been holding onto grudges and fantasizing about revenge.

“Hey,” she cheerfully greets, as he slides into the passenger seat. “How was the flight? How…?”

His mouth is on hers before she gets the rest of the words out; a hand tangling in her hair as he aggressively pulls her into him.  The kiss is long and soft and sweet at first; his lips bearing a hint of coffee and a touch of mint. But then things quickly take a more intense turn; his tongue pushing its way way into her mouth, the miss much more ravenous and needy. Desperate.

“Wow…” she breathes, when he pulls away, forehead briefly resting against hers before his lips brush against the bridge of her nose. “...what was that for?”

“I wanted to kiss my wife. That’s not allowed?”

“Of course it’s allowed. And encouraged. But that was...intense. That wasn’t your usual ‘back after only twenty four hours’ kiss. That was your ‘I’ve been gone for two or three weeks’ kind of kiss.”

“Guess I just missed you.” he reasons, and then presses his lips to her temple before settling back into his seat and reaching for the belt.

“Okay, something is going on. You kissed me like THAT and you’re letting me drive your truck?”

“You had to drive it here, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but you’re here now and it’s your baby and usually…”

“It’s just a truck,” he says with a shrug, and buckles his seat belt.

“Something is definitely going on with you.”

Tyler chuckles. “There’s nothing. I didn’t sleep well last night and I have a killer headache and it’s probably just better if you drive. That’s all.”

“Do you have a killer headache because…?”

“I wasn’t drinking iof that’s what you’re going to ask. I stayed sober. I told you I wasn’t going to be like that again and I meant it.”

“What was the dream about?”

“Can’t remember. I just know it was fucked and I don’t want to have it again.”

Her eyes narrow as she watches him, noticing the way he grimaces when he stretches his legs out in front of him and the frown on his face as he rubs at his troublesome knee. The scar is long and jagged; starting three inches above and stopping four inches below. There’d been complications; the surgeon discovering more damage, bone fragments and scar tissue than he’d initially expected and having to not only replace the knee, but repair ligaments and tendons that were nearly severed.

“What’s this about?” She reaches over to tussle his hair. The length on the top is the same as when he’d left, but the sides and back now shaved as close to the skin as possible.  High and tight; a Marine cut.  

“Just something I thought I’d try.”

“You’re going back to the old hair aren’t you,” a slow smile spreads across his face. “You’re going to let the top grow out.”

“It’s the look you liked the most, yeah? Now you can’t say I never do anything nice for you.”

“Baby…” she leans across the space between their seats and presses a kiss to his cheek; his beard still full yet trimmed and tidier. “...you’re the best. You know how to keep your girl happy.”

He grins. “Sometimes.”

“All the time,” she says, and places a kiss to the corner of his mouth before settling back into her seat and starting the ignition.  A companionable silence falling between them as they pull out of the hanger and head for home.

****

“ARE you okay?” Esme asks several minutes later.

“Fine,” Tyler replies, his head tilted back against his seat, eyes closed; one hand on his stomach, the other on her thigh, thumb continuously brushing against her skin.  “Just tired. It was a long night. Couldn’t fall asleep and when I did, I had that fucked up dream.” “And you don’t remember what it was about?”

“Nope. It wasn’t one of the usual ones, though. Never had this one before. But it was messed up. I remember that much.”

How do you explain a dream like THAT? That you’d been  willing to sacrifice someone’s life for five million dollars; knowing that a drug lord would have used and abused them  in horrific and degrading ways before killing them? She doesn’t even know about the whole truth about what happened at Gaspar’s. For nearly seven years she’d assumed that the deal had been for Ovi; that Gaspar had been hell bent on killing him and Tyler refused to give the kid up and all hell broke loose.

“Hmmm…” she turns her full attention to the road, chewing absentmindedly on her bottom lip. She’s used to this; his constant need to keep everything inside and shoulder every single burden on his own. It’s his protective nature; not wanting to add any extra stress or worry to her already overflowing plate. “...and things went okay?”

“Everything went fine. Got Koen on board, got everything we need to get started. Things went good. Place doesn’t even look the same anymore. Not inside, anyway.”

“And he’s still okay with letting us stay there?”

“Yup. Just said to make sure we change the sheets. Said he doesn’t want to be lying in our ‘business’.”

She laughs at that.

“Did Nik call you?” he casually and calmly asks, hand sliding onto the inside of her thigh; fingertips against the bare skin just below the hem of her shorts.

“Nik? Why should she call me? I’m probably the last person she wants to hear from after that night at the restaurant. I’m sure she blames me for Kyle calling things off.”

“Well in all fairness, you did kind of instigate the whole thing. Hooking him with the neighbor. Even after I told you to stay out of it and mind your business.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault it was instant lust between them. We know all about that, don’t we.”

He grins.

“But no. She didn’t call. That’s kind of a weird thing to ask, About Nik.”

“She called me,” Tyler admits, and he notices the way both of her brows arch. “Last night. I only answered because I thought it was you and that maybe something was wrong at home.”

“Why would she call you? Was she having a lonely night? Wanted to have phone sex?”

“I didn’t have the energy. I’d already had phone sex with you, so…”

“Boy that must have broken her heart; the fact you keep shooting her down. Maybe she feels if she keeps bugging you enough she’ll wear you down and you’ll give in.”

“Not gonna happen. I already told you; I’m not a cheater. I don’t want anyone else but you. And she actually called to give me shit. I guess word travels faster than we thought it would.”

“Well it was going to happen sooner or later.”

“Later would have been nice.”

“I take it she wasn’t happy.”

Tyler smirks. “That’s one way of putting it. She lost her shit. She’s taking it personally; thinks I did it to purposefully fuck her over and put her out of business.”

“Mercs are jumping ship left, right, and center. I can’t keep up with all the messages and the emails. She’s not going to have anyone left.”

He shrugs. “Guess she shouldn’t have let things go to shit.”

“They went to shit seven years ago when she made the decisions she did. That should have been the end of it; when she was so willing to leave you on the bridge to die. She totally fucked you. And not in a good way. Like whose dick is she sucking that she keeps her job?”

A grin tugs at the corner of Tyler’s mouth. “You’re feisty today.”

“I hope you do put her out of business. I hope she loses everything. Because she fucking deserves it. She’s done a lot of shitty things and I’m glad karma is finally biting her in the ass.”

“She’s not going to go down without a fight. She’s pretty pissed. And pretty determined to make my life hell.”

Esme frowns. “She said that? That she’s going to make your life hell?”

“Not in so many words.”

“Well what did she say? Did she threaten to show up and kick your ass? I’d love to see her try.”

“She just said some shit. About us. When I said something about how my wife and my kids will always be around, she made a comment about how she’ll ‘see about that’.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. But I told her I wasn’t fucking around. Don’t threaten my family. It didn’t end well for the last person who tried it and it won’t end well for her.” “Nk hardly seems the type that would hurt kids. There’s no doubt in my mind she’d come for me. She’s been wanting me out of the picture for a long time. But to do something to hurt the kids? I can’t see her stooping that low.”

“I don’t think it was a physical threat. Nik’s all about screwing with peoples’ heads. Look what she did to me. She knew I was messed up and she knew exactly what buttons to push to get me to do what she wanted.”

“You think that’s what it is? Psychological warfare? Because she’s never gone up against me and that's a  battle I will not lose. I’ve gone up against bigger and better than her and I’m still here to tell about it. Besides, what could she possibly say that would bother me that much? After everything I’ve been through in the past seven years? Nothing could unnerve me that badly that it would screw things up between us. Look at everything we’ve been through. That shit we’ve survived.  She doesn’t even know HALF of it. Trust me, there’s nothing she could say that could hurt us.”

“It’s Nik. She’ll make shit up if she has to.”

“She can save her breath. I know all your deepest and darkest secrets. So if she thinks she has something to surprise me, she’s got another thing coming. I do, right?” she casts him a sidelong glance. “Know everything I need to know?”

“There’s nothing I haven’t told you. I told you most of it in the first couple of days. Everything else you’ve lived through with me.”

“Then let her make shit up,” Esme shrugs. “I think I trust you word over hers. After everything she’s pulled,  I wouldn’t believe a goddamn word she says. And the fact she’d even threaten you? Like, she knows who she’s talking to, right? Someone who killed two people with one garden rake. That’s really who she wants to go up against?”

“She probably thinks I won’t retaliate. I don’t give a shit what history we have. You don’t threaten my family. Ever.”

“Normally I’d tell you you’re being paranoid and you’re way too overprotective, but this side of you is kind of hot.”

He grins. “Kind of?”

“Totally hot,” she admits, then giggles and shoves his hand away when he slides it towards her crotch. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“What’s gotten into you the last few days? You’re a little...I don’t know...assertive...when it comes to the whole sex thing.”

“I’m not allowed to want to have sex with my life? First I can’t kiss you a certain way, now I can’t have sex with you either?”

“It’s not that you can’t. You’re just a little more...demanding...than usual. Needy.  Needy is a good word for it. And we’ve always had a lot of sex but lately, you’ve just been...extra...about it.”

He gives in an amused smirk. “I’m extra?”

“In a good way,” she assures him.

“Look, I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re sexy. And I want to fuck you. So…”  his hand once again slides along her thigh, slipping under the leg opening of her shorts. Fingertips grazing against the edge of her simple cotton pants. “...when we get home, that’s what we’re going to do. Fuck.”

“Addie and Declan are there. Ovi’s watching them.”

“Send them to his place. Tell him we need half an hour kid free. He’ll know what that means.”

“A half an hour?” she playfully inquires. “When has it only taken half an hour?”

“I’m in a mood,” he replies, and slides a finger under her panties, and she swallows noisily and her entire body tenses when it pushes through her folds and grazes over her clit.

“Obviously. And you’re going to put me in a mood!” She squeezes  her thighs shut, trapping his hand between them. “Stop! I’m trying to drive!”

“Just relax. Let me do this.”

“You’re crazy!”

“Come on…” he grins. “...do it. I know you want to. It’s something we’ve never done before. You can’t tell me you don’t want to try. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Oh I don’t know, Tyler. I could crash and kill us both and our kids would be orphans. That’s pretty much the worst.”

“Do it…” he encourages. “...open your legs...let me do this for you...let me make you feel good.”

She glances at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“Our little secret,” his grin widens. “I promise.”

“You're insane. You really are.”

“Maybe. But I can feel how wet you are. “I know you want it just as much as I do. Just do it. Just this once. Let me to this for you.”

She sighs heavily, thighs releasing the grip on his hand.

“That’s my girl,” he praises, swallowing noisily when he slips another finger between her folds, watching her face as the tips press against her clit. Noticing the flush that creeps into her cheeks and the tips of her ears, the way her teeth dig painfully into her bottom lip.

“You really are a bad influence,” she half-heartedly complains.

“Yeah,” he agrees, as his fingers continue their ministrations.  “But you love me though.”

She doesn’t even attempt to deny it.

[silvana-fangirls]

Good Mourning [KogKag]

Fandom:

InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale

Relationships:

Higurashi Kagome/Kouga

SUMMARY: After they destroyed Naraku and Kagome wished for the Shikon no Tama to disappear, it not only took the sorrow, pain and loss with it. But something Kagome thought was genuinely hers.

I HIGHLY SUGGEST FOR YOU TO READ IT IN AO3 AND/OR FF.NET (find it under the same name, or in my posts under #silvana writes : good mourning

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO A TAG LIST, HIT MY ASK BOX!

CHAPTER 3

Just one more hit and then we're through 'Cause you could never love me back Cut every tie I have to you 'Cause your love's a fucking drag

But I need it so bad

- 'Nicotine' Panic! At the Disco

Kouga gripped the edges of the make-shift rock table so hard it was threatening to break as soon as he entered the private den where he usually held his war-related meetings with his higher-ranked pack members.

He let out a raged, shaky breath, while his clawed fingers grinded over the rocky surface causing an unpleasant sound; all in order to keep himself from turning to dust the entire fucking mountain.

His whole body was tensed up, all muscles flexed so hard that if anyone touched him right now would've said he was made of solid iron. His lips twitched, fangs pocking out dangerously, threatening to let out a spine-chilling growl. His eyebrows, deep in a frown, as he closed his eyes tightly, hiding their now blood-red color. His nostrils flared, intoxicated in a scent he was not supposed to smell ever fucking again.

His eyes, haloed crimson, only snapped open when he heard his two idiotic 'second in command' entering the den, to then stand behind him as they fought nervous fidgets.

It took everything inside him not to rip them apart right there and then.

"I wonder if I haven't made myself clear enough before" He said, some words coming out in animalistic snarls, as he refused to turn to them still. If he turned before calming his youkai down, he'll rip them apart before at least hearing what could've possessed them to do what they did; and calming down was proving to be a difficult task right now, with her scent, her aura, her everything taking over him like some goddamn poison.

"K-Kouga w-we can expla-" Ginta started to say, as his voice trembled in fear.

Koga didn't even give him a chance to finish the sentence.

"Yeah, you fucking better!" He shouted, youkai voice interlacing with his, as the rock table snapped in two.

The two of them nearly jumped out of their skin when Kouga turned to face them.

"I wanna know what in hell possessed you two, to decide it was great idea to go against a direct order of mine" He snarled, but felt himself calm down just enough so his youkai was tamed down. "Every fucking wolf in here was ordered to never, under any circumstances, let her step a foot on the mountain. So, help me understand how you two that knew exactly what went down, out of every single demon, brought her here?!"

"W-We didn't want to, I swear!" Hakkaku stuttered out. "We told her that we were ordered not to let her in the mountain, but she refused to listen!"

"Y-Yeah, she basically black-mailed us!" Ginta agreed quickly.

"What?" Kouga spat out, not really as a question but more in disbelief at how much stupidity was coming out of his betas' mouths.

"W-We explained her the situation, a-and told her to go home, told her it was for the best-" Hakkaku started.

"A-And told her how dangerous it was for her to be in the woods at the moment!" Ginta added.

"And we told her we weren't allowed to take her to the mountains so w-we were just gonna escort her out of the woods" Hakkaku continued.

"A-And then she was like 'Pity, I'm not going anywhere'" Ginta said, trying to imitate Kagome's voice in a high pitch tone.

"Y-Yeah! And then she was like 'And if you're not going to help me, I'll get to the mountains on my own. I'm not going home until I talk to Kouga'" Hakkaku said then, now also imitating Kagome's voice.

"And you know how stupid that was gonna be! The woods packed with northerns and westerns, and the eating humans' treaty! Kami, she was already wounded as well"

Kouga's youkai flared at this, and he wanted to punch it for it.

Of course he knew she was wounded. It was one of the reasons he turned back to the mountains, fast as lighting, a few minutes after he felt her presence near his home while he was miles away from it.

Kouga was not only a wolf demon, but an alpha at that. His senses excelled almost every demon's alive, and also excelled all of his pack member's senses by far. He could hear, smell and sense everything that was miles away from him. On top of that, Kagome was his-

He started to sense her just as soon as she was a few miles away from her village.

He was far away at that moment, nearing the Southern Lands when he first felt her.

He found it odd, but his mind soon figured that maybe she was traveling somewhere. His lands, while considerably far away, surrounded her village somewhat. So, she would've had to cross them if she wanted to travel pretty much anywhere.

The fact that it was the first time ever she moved from that village was nagging him, but he ignored it.

He needed to triple check that the Southern tribe was still set on not partaking on the war. They were having enough on their plates as it was. While the Eastern tribe still outnumbered the Northern and Western tribes combined (just one of the several reasons there was a war in the first place) and his men were undoubtedly stronger and smarter than their opponents, he wasn't sure if they would be able to handle another tribe joining the opposite side, no matter how superior they were in numbers or battling skills.

He knew that the leaders of the North tribe were going to try to lure the South to join them. So, he had to make sure that the Southern alpha was still set on his first decision; and if he was not, Kouga would enjoyed to help him stay put.

That's why he didn't stop nor turned around when he felt her. After all, only one of his many forests was the one with that 'treaty' he made.

'Every nearby village knows what's going on' he remembered thinking. 'I'm certain hers' knows too, and if they don't, villagers on her way will warn her' was another thought that crossed his mind at that time 'She's not stupid'.

Though, something that was nagging his mind just a bit was the fact that she was almost alone. He could feel the neko-demon with her, but no one else. No mutt.

He briefly wondered if it was because InuYasha was a hanyou, that's why he was having trouble sensing him, and her other travel companions were human. Sure, she was human as well, but she was… she was Kagome, of course he'd feel her.

What he needed to do regarding the Southern tribe was extremely important, and could not wait. He was in charge of a numerous pack facing a war right now. He was an alpha, he couldn't turn back on his tribe, much less for her, out of all beings in the universe.

Not to mention, he truly didn't want to see her to begin with.

So, he continued to run his 'errands' while unconsciously keeping tabs of her movements.

He was done dealing with the Southern alpha when his heart nearly skipped a beat.

She was nearing the edge of the forest.

Why on hell she was nearing the edge of the forest.

Without so much a word, and as soon as he ruthlessly forced the South to stay out of his way, he bolted towards his lands.

Moments later, when she was already undoubtedly flying across the forest, she was wounded, badly.

With now crimson eyes, and growling through sharp-mortal fangs, he picked up his pace.

He mentally thanked whatever god or devil was around when Ginta and Hakkaku found her and saved her.

He allowed himself to calm down once he stopped smelling blood pouring out of her.

Still, he was angry at himself. Sure, he could feel bad if anything ever happened to her, but the way he reacted? Desperation, madness, rage consuming him in his entirety, his youkai almost taking completely over after centuries of being in complete control over it.

This tiny woman always sent him over the edge.

He reflected that no matter how much distance was between them, how many years they spent without even catching a glimpse of the other, he would always react this way when it came to her. After all, it was natural, quite literally. She was his, regardless of whatever she tried to convince herself. He was hers, she would never be able to be indifferent when it came to him, no matter how hard she tried.

She would always be his, she would always feel like a part of him.

So, he would always lose the reigns when it came to her, no matter how badly he didn't wanna see her ever again.

Still, he could not fit in his own and utter shock when he realized that not only she was indeed going for his den, but that fucking Ginta and Hakkaku were escorting her.

Just when he thought they'd matured at last.

"W-What would you have us do in his situation?" Ginta asked, bringing Kouga back to the present issue.

"I would've you take her back to where she came from, dragging her by the feet if fucking needed!" Kouga growled out, making them both jump back. "You should've escorted her back to her damned village by force if she refused, I don't give a fuck; place her on the mutt's arms with a bow on top, and tell him to put a freaking leash on her if necessary to keep this from happening ever again!"

"Kouga you know her better than we do! She would've tried again! You know how she is, sis would never-" If looks could kill, Hakkaku would've dropped dead on the spot. "KAGOME! I mean Kagome" He corrected himself instantly.

One of the other explicit, direct orders from Kouga was to never, ever call her sister again.

"You do know that there's a hundred demons outside waiting for me to execute you?" Kouga said through a clenched jaw.

Hell, while he didn't want to kill them, because they were Ginta and Hakkaku after all, he did want to hurt them, really, really bad.

Hakkaku gulped down in fear and Ginta sighed.

"We know" Ginta said looking down at the floor. "And we understand and accept if you do" Kouga raised an eyebrow at this.

"We do?" Hakkaku squeaked out, looking at his best friend in disbelief.

"Yes" Ginta said, without a single hesitation. "At least I do" Kouga blinked in surprise at this. "I don't regret what I did" Kouga clenched his jaw "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if she died when I could've protected her" Ginta continued, and it took everything inside Kouga not to react to the statement "I mean… She's Kagome" He added, and Kouga knew he meant 'she's sister'. "So, yeah… I'm good with whatever punishment you see fit, Alpha Kouga"

Kouga didn't know how he managed not to flinch at that. Everyone in the pack called him that, except these two. So, it only meant one thing. Whatever Ginta was saying was 100% serious.

"Y-Yeah, me too!" Hakkaku said after a moment.

Kouga sighed and tried not to give any other sort of reaction.

He couldn't blame them for the way they were acting. Wolf demons were extremely familiar beings, they depended on each member of the pack, just like each member of the pack depended on them. Kagome was his intended mate, their Alpha's intended mate. It's no surprise that they would've tried to protect her. But, it wasn't only that. Ginta and Hakkaku were Kagome's friends, too, unlike the rest of the pack.

Not a single pack member would dare go against an Alpha's direct order. Not only because there're definitely less painful ways to die, but because it was also a sign of disrespect towards the pack, too.

But, Ginta and Hakkaku would, because Kagome (at least once upon a time) was their friend.

It'll almost felt unfair to blame them. But, they had to be punished, anyone else would've dealt with his ruthless fury, he couldn't just skip past them completely.

So the question was, what to do now?

"You need to get rid of her" Kouga finally said, earning a dumbfounded look from both of them. "And you'll loose your privileges until I feel you can be trusted again" He added, frowning at them while showing fangs to let them know he was being serious. "Go, now" He said. "I don't want to see her when I get out of here"

"Kouga there's something else, though…" Ginta said, and as if he was reading his mind, Hakkaku turned to him with a concerned glance as well.

Kouga said nothing, tired of discussing and negotiating with this two. They should've just shut their mouths and run towards the village with Kagome in hand while thanking Kami he had mercy on them by now. So, he just waiting for him to continue.

"There's not a single trace of InuYasha on her"

X

It was funny.

It was funny how she was almost atop of a mountain right now, yet she felt the Earth swallowing to the very center.

Kirara, still on her smaller form, was growling consistently while each hair on her pelt was up… but, that didn't stop anyone from looking at her.

As soon as Ginta and Hakkaku disappeared from her sight, tailing a raging Kouga, each and every single pair of eyes (at least the alive ones) turned to her, accusingly.

At first, she pointedly ignored every of them.

Her eyes went down to the ground, as she tried to focus on petting Kirara as best as she could.

It worked well at first, but now? It was impossible to ignore the comments that were being whispered all around her.

"How dare she come back after rejecting him like that?!"

"And for a disgusting hanyou, no less!"

"Great timing, too! In the middle of the war no less, as if Kouga wasn't stressed enough as it is!"

"He better not take her back, after she disrespected him like that!"

"I agree, showing up here when she pleases, the nerve!"

"Kouga deserves so much better"

"Most of the females are prettier than her, too…"

"Maybe that mutt kicked her out, that's why she's here with her tail between her legs!"

"Don't be stupid, it's because of the bond! It was only a matter of time…"

"Still, he shouldn't take her back"

"Why would he? He has enough female attention here…"

Kagome felt like she sunk down half her size, and tears were pricking the corners of her eyes.

They were right, for the most part. Except for the part where they implied that she rejected him knowing the truth, which she didn't. She knows she should've given him the benefit of the doubt, but how could she know?

'He has enough female attention here'

That broke Kagome's heart in a trillion pieces. Sure, she knew better than to expect Kouga to be mate-less and just loyal to a woman who has rejected him, told him she never wanted to see him again, and disappeared for three years. Still, that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a truck from back home was running over her heart over and over.

She tried to calm herself down, and remember Sango's advice.

She wasn't here to be with him, at least that wasn't the most important thing.

She was here to apologize. To accept her mistake, beg for forgiveness, and hope Kouga could at least take her back as a friend.

Still, it appeared that some part of her held to the hope of him still being in love with her.

That part of her was having the butt-kick of it's life.

What made her more angry, though, was the fact that these demons were probably reading her like an open book. Smelling each and every emotion their comments were causing on her.

"And to think poor Ginta and Hakkaku have to pay the price of this"

"I know… Kouga's probably gonna hold their execution this evening"

That made her head snap up.

Execution?!

She knew they were in trouble, big trouble, but definitely not that kind of trouble!

Ginta and Hakkaku were Kouga's best friends, for crying out loud! Surely he wouldn't!

In the midst of panic, Kagome was still able to focus for a moment and search for Kouga's aura. It took her almost a millisecond, it was impossible for her not to feel him, anyways. Not with him being close to her.

Without sparing so much a glance to the wolf demons looking at her, she started to walk towards where she felt him, as wolf demons got out of her way, too shocked to even stop her.

She followed the feeling towards a tunnel and after a while, still gripping Kirara on her arms, she came face to face with an entrance to a smaller den.

Guarded by two wolf demons.

"Eh! What are you doing here?!" One of them instantly exclaimed at the sight of her.

"This tunnel is off-limits! Only the ones that were explicitly called by Alpha Kouga can be here!" The other one added.

"Let me in, I need to speak to him" Kagome said, unintimidated by the two bulky wolf demons.

"Haven't you heard us, lil human? You're not supposed to be here!" The first one exclaimed pointedly stepping in front of the entrance, blocking her way.

"I won't ask again. I need to speak to him, now!" Kagome said unwavering.

"Now listen here you little bit-"

It happened way faster than any of them could've expected. A shot of lilac beaming reiki shot from her hand and towards them. It was in no way something that could've harmed them gravely, just superficial. Something to simply leave them unconscious for a little while.

She expected them to understand the urgency in her tone of voice, but it became clearer and clearer with each passing second that whatever was going on between wolf demons, something that they would never do was disobey their Alpha, under any circumstances.

After looking down at the unconscious demons on the ground, checking for anything out of what she expected, she turned to the entrance and without a second thought, running the fur that was serving as a door/curtain.

The den was even further away from what she anticipated, not just at the other side of the 'curtain'. She had to walk a shorter tunnel once again, before finally entering a small, fire-lit den.

The three people in there instantly turned to her.

Her heart leaped to her throat once her chocolate brown eyes connected with icy blue ones.

"Kouga" She whispered under her breath again, much like a few moments ago, when she first saw him.

And, just like when he first saw her, he turned to Ginta and Hakkaku with a deep frown.

"Take her back to her village, now" He growled at both of them, making Kagome shiver at both: the sound of his voice for the first time in years and the danger in his growl.

Ginta opened his mouth, as if to object, but he didn't have the chance to let out a sound.

"Ginta, Kami help me, if a single sound comes out of your goddamn mouth, I'll rip you apart right here, right now." Kouga growled again, making Ginta snap his mouth shut instantly.

"No!" Kagome exclaimed as soon as Kouga's threat was out. "You can't murder them!" Kouga turned to her again, looking rather confused this time. "I heard about the execution! You can't kill them!"

"What?!" He exclaimed nearly bewildered. It was the first word he directly spoke to her. 'What'.

"It was me! I blackmailed them. I know they disobeyed your orders, but I put them both in an impossible position. It's not their fault! You can't kill them because of me!" Kagome was nearly babbling now, tears running from the corners of her eyes. "They were just trying to help me! I knew they wouldn't let me go on my own because they're both so kind hearted! And I took advantage of it! It was me! Please don't kill them, they're your best friends, you cannot kill them!"

"No one's getting killed!" Kouga finally exclaimed in exasperation.

Kagome stopped abruptly.

"What? There won't be an execution?" Kagome asked.

"No si-Kagome" Hakkaku said "Kouga decided for another punishment. We appreciate your concern, tho-"

"Alright, that's enough. Take her to her village now before I change my mind" Kouga said, and started to walk towards one of the edges of the den, where another rock- makeshift table was and Kagome watched as Ginta and Hakkaku walked towards her with sympathetic look on their faces.

She instantly took a step back from them.

"Wait-No!" She said, bringing Kirara even closer to her as she stepped back. "I told them I'm not going anywhere until we talk!" She said, turning to Kouga that was now a few meters away from her.

She literally saw how all his muscles stiffened in tension and how his aura grew in anger.

Kagome gulped down, as she also bit her lips. She knew she was pressing her luck and probably shouldn't be speaking at him like this, all things considered. But, what else what she supposed to do to make him listen?

It was crystal clear that he did not want her here.

"Oh, you told them?" Kouga scoffed back instantly in a sarcastic manner, making Kagome regret instantly the way she spoke the words. "So, of course, you expect them to do as you say, over their orders, my orders"

"I didn't mean it like that-" Kagome said with a small voice, glancing at the ground once again, but Kouga quickly interrupted her.

"Seriously, though, Kagome" Kouga then asked, and Kagome turned her eyes on him once again. He was looking straight at her this time, eyes piercing hers, unwavering. "What the fuck are you even doing here?"

The sound of her name coming out of his lips after so long sent hot jolts all over her body, yet question and the harshness of it crushed Kagome's heart, but she didn't blame him for asking that nor for being angry. Who wouldn't?

"I'm here to talk" She said once again.

"Talk about what, exactly?" He scoffed and took a few steps towards her but still maintained a considerable distance between them. "There's absolutely nothing to talk about, Kagome. It's been three fucking years, for Kami's sake!" He nearly roared, making Kagome flinch. "What on hell makes you think that I'll sit down and chat with you after all this fucking time?!" Kagome opened her mouth to talk, but he stepped even closer to her, and interrupted her before she could say anything. "And in the middle of the fucking war, no less! Like I actually have the time for more shit!"

"I didn't know you were at war!" Kagome finally roared back. "I only knew when Ginta and Hakkaku told me after they found me!"

"And yet you still decided to put up your little stunt and force them to bring you here instead of turning around and going back home!" Kouga raged on. "Ya know, you should be grateful it was them the ones to find you and bring you here. Because if it were any of my other pack members they would be fucking dead already!"

"I'm sorry, alright?! I know I shouldn't be inconveniencing you right now, but I couldn't wait any longer!" She defended herself.

"And just how much did you wait, Kagome? A year? A month? Or was it just a few days ago that the mutt finally got tired of you so you decided to settle for the next best as soon as you could?!" Kouga growled out.

"It's not like that, Kouga, and you know it!" Kagome said, now actually feeling offended. Yes, she knew that once upon a time (without knowing any better) she chose InuYasha over Kouga but it was because she didn't know the truth back then and she knew Kouga knows that! Besides, implying that she simply just moved on to the next plate once she had her fill of the first one, was an insult.

"I don't care, Kagome! I, sincerely, don't give a fuck!" Kouga said with such an angered force that made everyone in the room flinch and step back. "This is not your place." He said then. "You shouldn't be here. You should be at home with your mate or your family or whoever the fuck is there, and you should go back there right now" he said with finality. "Take her home" He turned to the two frightened wolf demons that were looking at both of them in terrified shock and turned his back to her again as he moved towards the edge of the den once more.

The two of them, with cautious movements, started walking towards Kagome.

"No" She said, and snatched back the arm that Ginta tried to grab. "I refuse to go anywhere until we talk!" She loudly declared again, frowning and watching as Kouga turned to her once again.

"Then they'll drag you there, I don't care" He said and pretended to shrug her off.

"Then I'll come back" Kagome said challengingly, frown deep on her face as she advanced towards him. "And again, and again, and again! No matter how many times you have them push me away, I will return! And if I have to purify every single one of your wolves to get you to talk to me, I will!"

Kouga eyed her, head to toe, without giving away any emotion for her to read, before he turned to his packmates again.

"Are you to deaf or something?" He simply said, and Kagome watched from the corner of her eye how both of them trembled but advanced nervously towards her again.

"Ginta, Hakkaku, I swear to god, if you lay a single claw on me I'll knock you both unconscious" She said threateningly and shot a spark of her reiki for good measure, making both of them instantly retract from her.

"B-Boss?" Hakkaku stuttered, as both of them looked towards their Alpha, unsure of what to do.

Kouga didn't even glance at them, his icy blue eyes still on Kagome, surveying her, observing her, with that very same aura he had when she first saw him. His body tensed up, eyes sharp… just as if he was about to be attacked, as if he was about fight.

Kagome knew that he wouldn't dare touch her right now, not like she would ever hurt him, but still. He also wouldn't let his packmates suffer a potential purification just to get her out of her mountains.

She also knew, that this was because Kouga didn't know the extend of her powers now. Back when he knew the extend of them, she could only summon them when using a bow and arrow.

This was unknown territory, and wolves weren't anything but cautious and protective of their pack members. He wouldn't risk it… but she also didn't want to corner him like this.

He was mad, and rightfully so. He wanted her out of his home, also rightfully so, since she came here uninvited. Plus, not only she was cornering him right now, but also challenging his power, his position as Alpha… in his home, in front of his packmates.

Still, she needed to talk to him and she refused to spend another day away from him without explaining herself.

They needed to meet at a middle point, though.

"I'm sorry, Kouga" She said at first, but he didn't even flinch. Attack mode still on. "I know you don't want to talk to me or listen to me or even have me near you right now" She said. "And you're absolutely right to feel that way. It's not fair for me to force you to talk right now, I don't wanna force you if you don't want to" It was only then when Kouga blinked at her, probably believing she was gonna accept and turn back to where she came from. "But I can't go back. I can't stay away from you without me saying what I need to say. Without you listening to me" She continued, her voice wavering while her eyes got teary. "I will stay here" She stated, watching as Kouga clenched his jaw at this. "I will stay here, waiting as long as I have to. Weeks, months, years, whatever. I'll wait here until you're ready to hear me talk." Kouga frowned even deeper to her now, and she felt Ginta and Hakkaku's eyes looking at her disbelievingly. "I won't bother you, I promise. I'll help you, help with the war. I'll earn my keep, or whatever you need. But, I can't go back. I can't go back, I'm sorry"

She didn't know if Kouga understood what she was saying or not. She didn't know if he understood the real necessity she had to stay -to stay with him- at least until they talked.

However, she did know that he understood the fact that she was going to fight -and most likely win- if they tried to remove her from this mountains.

It felt like time was passing agonizingly slow as she waited for a reaction coming from him, but Kouga didn't even flinch for the longest time, until he turned to his betas once again.

"She's your problem" He said at first "You'll deal with her. You'll find her something to do, where she'll be staying, what she'll be eating" Kagome couldn't help but feel completely bothersome and unwanted. The scene looked like a father talking to his children about a stray puppy he didn't want. "I don't want to be bothered by this not even once." He said the last part looking pointedly at her, to then turn to his betas once again. "I trust I'm being crystal clear this time" He finally said, nearly growling at the end.

"Y-Yes, Kouga!" Ginta and Hakkaku stuttered out.

One last menacing look was all it took for them to start to dragging Kagome out of the den they were currently in. Here only choice being to accept being dragged by them while looking at Kouga until they finally left the den.

The look Kouga gave her as she exited the den was one she never in a million years expected to ever get from him, and one she prayed she never have to see again being directed at her.

She swallowed the need to cry and she directed her focus at both wolf demons walking her through the maze of dens.

She wondered how anyone could find their way in this mountains.

'Scent, for starters. Plus, they lived here their entire lives, probably.' her mind instantly supplied, as she started to get nervous as to how she was supposed to survive in here in the first place if she couldn't even find her way through the tunnels. Sure, she could find her way to Kouga, just as easily as she could breathe. His aura so present and intense, constantly luring her towards it now that they were so close. But, she figured that Kouga would rather have his eyes clawed out than having her near, at least at the moment. He needed time and she understood, so keeping out of his way for now was for the best.

Ginta and Hakkaku stopped suddenly, in front of another door/curtain fur pelt hanging in front of what seemed a small den.

"Here, this should suffice" Ginta said, moving the pelt out of the way for them to go in.

When the three of them were inside the pitch black den, Kagome felt Hakkaku move towards one of the edges, and she hear her grab what she thought were rocks, before hearing how he friction them to create fire, and then light a large wax candle that was sitting in a carved hole in the right wall of the den.

The small place light up instantly, warm orange light washing over it.

Kagome instantly turned to observe the room they where in. It was small, just like she thought when she was at the entrance, maybe even a bit smaller than her room back home and definitely smaller than the hut she had back in Kaede's village.

She could see there were two more carved wholes with candles, one in the left cavern wall and once behind the makeshift bed (considerably large for the room, actually) made of a base of straws and topped with a thin fur pelt that she couldn't identify from what it was made. A tiny make-shift rock table besides the bed, some leftover-burnt out firewood in a corner that she supposed was a spot for a fireplace during winter, and that was pretty much it.

Not that she complained at all, it was actually a lot more than she expected.

"Didn't wolves sleep in packs?" Her thoughts came out of her mouth.

They both look at her a little bit surprised, probably not expecting such knowledge.

"Unmated wolves sleep together" Hakkaku clarified "There are two larger dens, for unmated males and females"

"Yeah, when a couple mates, though, we have several of these smaller dens available for them" Ginta added.

"Oh!" Kagome said, kind of embarrassed. "You shouldn't be giving this to me, then! I can sleep with the rest of the unmated girls!" Kagome assured.

Even if she would definitely be nervous and uncomfortable sleeping with a bunch of stranger girls that surely hated her, she didn't want to take any advantage of anything in any way that might bother Kouga.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Ginta quickly assured with an easy smile. "You'll be much comfortable here! Plus, much safer as well!"

Kagome's eyes widened at the last statement. What the heck does that meant? Was she in actual danger in here? Could some of Kouga's wolves actually hurt her? She knew that they were angry at her and what she did, but Kouga was letting her stay here. Surely they wouldn't attack her, right?

Hakkaku, instantly noting the look in her eyes, elbowed Ginta.

"It's not what you're thinking!" He was quick to say. "He meant because of the war. Things are really rushed this days, and while some of the females help with the injured and with the den, there are some that go to fight, too. You wouldn't be able to rest properly there. Also, this den is much, much deeper in the mountain than the ones for the unmated, because normally mated couples also have their cubs with them, so unmated wolves can protect them if there's an attack or something"

Kagome nodded in understanding at his explanation. It made sense. Still…

"I still don't want to use a potential couple's den just because!" She explained. They both laughed quietly at this.

"There won't be any potential couples anytime soon, with the war going on and stuff. Newly mated couples are real unstable, no one won't risk it right now" Hakkaku said. "Plus, we have so many of this smaller dens, we're always building more of them"

"Yeah, don't worry, sis!" Ginta said with a warm smile, and it took him about to seconds to realize what he said. "I mean Kagome!"

Kagome smiled at him, half softened by the fact that the 'nickname' just came out of him so easily, and half saddened at how he was always correcting himself after using it.

Ginta noticed her smile, and couldn't help but smile a bit sadly as well.

"Old habits die hard, I guess" He said. Kagome only smiled wider.

"You don't have to stop calling me sister, you know" She said, pleading in her mind.

Both wolf demons shared a look, to then turn to her defeated.

"It's not really our choice" Hakkaku said, without needing to explain any further.

Kagome felt something pierce through her heart for the millionth time in the day. Part of her wanted to know everything Kouga has ordered his wolves to do or not to do in regards of her, but it'd only help in hurting her even more. So, she decided to change the subject instead.

She briefly wondered if she was wasting their time or not, but quickly chose to ignore that wonder. It's been three years and a hell of a day, a little catch up wouldn't hurt them that much, right?

"So" Kagome said. "There's a war going on… for three years"

"Yeah, demon wars usually don't last very long. We thought it would be over in a year or so but then the Western tribe decided to join in just when we were about to win, so…" Ginta said.

"It's it okay if I ask why is there a wolf demon war in the first place?" Kagome asked.

"Yeah, yeah. There's no problem. I mean, now that you will be staying here and stuff I don't see one at least" Hakkaku shrugged. "There's no 'a' reason, I guess. I mean, it definitely has to do with Kouga's ruling over the Eastern tribe, but there are several complaints you can say"

"Complaints?" Kagome asked a little bit perplexed. Sure, she never gave too much thought into Kouga's rule over his tribe, at least not into the details. But, she always thought he was an exceptional leader, even back when she first met him. It was just the way his people looked up to him. There was so much admiration and even devotion in his pack's eyes. Also the fact like he was so young (she didn't acknowledge this back then, but know she learned how to read demon's ages). To be such a young demon and have such numerous and not to mention devoted followers it surely meant something.

"Yeah, Kouga was getting too powerful in the eyes of certain wolf tribes" Ginta explained.

'Ah' that made much more sense.

"We grew so much in numbers in such a short amount of time once we defeated Naraku, they got scared. Even more so because in some other regions fertility is definitely not the same." Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, also the fact that Kouga started training us scared them. They wondered if it was because we wanted to overtake them, but it just was because Kouga suffered a lot when so many of our packmates got killed by Naraku, he just didn't want to go through the same thing ever again" Ginta said.

"And also the fact that he's so young, gaining all this power" Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, I suppose I'd be jealous too" Kagome said, earning a light chuckle from both of them. "You said that the Western tribe decided to join later… So, it was the Northern one that declared war first?"

They both seemed to get suspiciously nervous at that question.

Kagome eyed them carefully.

"Uh… yeah, they did" Ginta said, rubbing the back of his head rather nervously.

"Why, though? I mean, I guess they were worried about your growing power but why don't just settle for a treaty or something? Or make sure you weren't trying to overtake them before attacking?" Kagome pressed on. There was something going on here, but she just couldn't figure out what. She doubted Kouga was indeed trying to overtake every other tribe, and she also doubted he wasn't open for treaties or agreements.

"Well… we kinda uhm-" Hakkaku tried to say.

"Offended them?" Ginta supplied.

"Offended them?" Kagome parroted. "How so?"

"Well, uh… remember how I told you there were in fact several complaints about Kouga's Alpha position?" Ginta said and Kagome just nodded. "Well, it's very unheard of and unusual for an Alpha to be leading so many years without a uhm… mate"

Kagome blushed crimson at this. 'Oh, my god, please no'

It was already a big fucking deal that she rejected him and every single soul of his pack seemed to know and take offence at it, but the fact that a war (a freaking war!) might have happened because of it?!

She closed her eyes and tried to avoid hearing the inevitable truth.

"So, when he couldn't well…. Have you" Hakkaku said.

"The Northern Alpha offered his granddaughter to be Kouga's mate and the Eastern tribe's Alpha female, and Kouga obviously rejected her" Ginta continued explaining.

"Duh" Hakkaku said.

"So, of course, the rejection was taken as a great offence by the Northern tribe. I mean, it was the very best the North could offer, after all. She's gorgeous, and strong, not to mention the granddaughter of an Alpha" Ginta continued as he cited all these good qualities this girl had, making Kagome feel a sour taste in her mouth. "And she also wanted to be with Kouga…"

Kagome couldn't help but frown, and that only added to her surprise.

It's been so long since she has felt pure, raw jealousy… and a jealousy that was her own. Fiery, raged, hot.

She was caught up in the feeling for a moment… until she realized something.

"Wait a minute" She said. "Pretty, strong girl from the North who's grandfather is an Alpha" She cited, the truth dawning down on her. "You can't be talking about…" She trailed off.

"Ayame" Hakkaku finished for her.

It was as if she summoned the iciest water from far North to then wash over her like a bucket of cold water.

How?

It felt as if she just remembered something long forgotten.

She suddenly remembered the wolf demoness existence.

How could she ever have forgotten her?

She was honestly amazed.

All these years dealing with nothing but wolf demon ghosts and she forgotten a very important one… and while she was still surprised about that fact, her curiosity about something else quickly overtook her.

"Why did he reject her?" she asked, and the question seemed to boom throughout every single inch of the dens.

Both demons in front of her looked at her like she was just insane.

"I mean" Kagome quickly said, trying to explain herself better "After everything…" She continued, trusting they would understand what she meant without needing much explanation "Why not Ayame?" She truthfully wondered. "I mean, she's just like you said… Gorgeous, strong, perfect to lead by his side" She cited, feeling jealousy grow within her again. "Why not take her as a mate?"

"What do you mean why?" Ginta asked half chuckling, wondering if it was a legit question. "He can't"

"He can't because he doesn't like her…?" Kagome questioned again, not really getting what was so obvious about the question. "Or because he doesn't want a treaty with the North tribe-" Hakkaku interrupted her before she even had a chance to finish.

"No, because he literally can't" Hakkaku said looking at her rather startled.

"What do you mean he literally can't?" Kagome was starting to get a little irritated at them. They were looking at her like she was stupid or living after a rock till yesterday.

"Wolves can't mate with someone else other than their intended" Ginta finally said, as if it was so obvious "That's unless their intended mate dies"

Kagome was shook to her core.

She knew some of demon mating ways, and also some of demon law and stuff. Mostly because Sango taught her throughout this years and because not only she was a priestess, but a miko, so she had to know.

She never heard something like this, though… and considering the fact that her 'mate' was currently with another it just didn't make any sense.

"So, that means that…" Kagome trailed off in a whisper, still shook.

"Kouga can't mate anyone but you" Hakkaku said. "At least until you, you know… die"

"How come you didn't know this?" Ginta asked. "I mean, I know you're human and stuff… but you're mated to a hanyou, right?"

Kagome flinched at that, but didn't respond.

"Also you have that demon slayer friend… I'm sure she knows this stuff!" Hakkaku added.

"I- She did, but-" Kagome stuttered out. "I'm pretty sure it's not like that!" She said a little louder than intended, nearly shouting. They didn't seem to notice it, though.

"What do you mean?" Ginta asked.

"I know for a fact that demons can take another mate" She simply said, jaw tensed.

"Well, yeah, of course! Demons can, but wolves? Never!" Hakkaku said, again as if it was just obvious.

"Wolves mate for life!" Ginta added, and Kagome felt a shiver run all over her body, remembering one of the first things Kouga said to her when they met. When he claimed her his woman.

The warmth that spread inside her turned sour soon, when another thought crossed her mind.

"So, basically, Kouga's waiting for me to die to take another mate?" She said icily.

Both of them looked at her completely horrified.

"N-No! That's not it at all, sis!" Ginta exclaimed, too horrified to notice the slip up of the nickname.

"It's not like it's a death sentence or something! Or like he's being forced to love you or to be with you!" Hakkaku exclaimed as well.

"He wants you. Just you. He can't possibly want any other woman while you're around" Ginta continued, making Kagome blush.

"When a wolf finds their intended mate, they're all they see" Hakkaku added.

"I mean, they can be intimate with someone else if they're not mated yet. But, regarding romantic feelings and mating? It's just impossible." Ginta said.

"Whether Ayame is attractive or not or perfect for him, Kouga could just never mate her" Hakkaku said. "It's almost as if the sole idea of mating someone other than your intended is repulsive"

"That's why wolf demons, while territorial, are not really jealous around their own kind regarding their mates" Ginta said. "Once you're already mated or in courtship process, affairs and such are just unheard of. We might be possessive when they're other demons around but between our kind? Never"

"And normally, once you find your intended mate the courtship process instantly begins" Hakkaku added.

"Look, I don't wanna sound unsensitive or anythin' but… while Kouga might have sex with other females right now, it's pretty much out of male needs" Ginta said, looking half regretful about letting her know that. Kagome just looked at the ground at the revelation. "He could never even consider any romantic involvement with anyone else. The feeling you have towards your intended mate is just incomparable to anything else you could even imagine"

Kagome stayed silent for a few moments, and they just waited for her to digest everything they said as they turned on the rest of the candles in the room.

It was unbelievable, in part. She would have never guessed.

Kouga could just never love anyone else, or even consider anyone else while she was around.

It was probably why he also was so angry at her right now. Not only she rejected him, but she quite literally felt him tied handed. There was just no other choice for him, not second chances or 'more fish in the sea' as the modern saying says.

It must have been horribly tortuous for him… The thought of never being able to be with anyone else at least for several decades (she hoped).

Then, another thought crossed her mind, making her instantly frown in confusion.

"Wait" She said, making both wolf demons turn to her again. "You said wolf demons can only mate or have romantic feelings towards their intended mate" She started, and they both nodded for her to continue "So, is Ayame's intended dead or something? How come she loves Kouga when she's clearly not his intended" She couldn't help but say 'clearly' with a little more emphasis than the rest of the words.

"Well, not exactly" Hakkaku said "Ayame's intended is indeed alive. He's the one in charge of the Northern armies"

"And she still loves Kouga?" Kagome asked but neither of them replied, and that was the only answer she needed. "How?"

Ginta sighed as he rubbed the back of his head again, looking a bit frustrated and struggling with his thoughts.

"Well, Ayame's situation is a bit weird" Ginta started "We think she's just in denial… and we blame Kouga for this as well"

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked.

"Well, Ayame was just so young, even for a demon, when Kouga made that stupid promise to her" Ginta explained. "He told us he made that promise expecting for her not only to forget it, but to understand the wolf demon mating process once she grew up" He excused his Alpha "Of course, you probably already know that didn't happen…"

"We think it's because she basically grew thinking about that stupid promise" Hakkaku cleared out.

"We also think that once she actually gives in at least just a bit into her intended mate, she'll realize there's simply no way she and Kouga could ever be together" Ginta added. "She's so obviously trying to maintain her distance from her intended, because deep down she knows"

"In other words: she's being a spoiled brat" Hakkaku simply said and Kagome mentally grinned at this.

"Still" Ginta said "Another thing that's keeping Ayame so insistent in this is that Kouga's case is a little bit unusual as well"

"What does that mean?" Kagome asked him.

"Well, while is not completely unheard of that a wolf demon's intended is human. It happened before, but just a couple of times and probably millenniums ago. But, it's still pretty unusual" Ginta explained. "Not to mention that it's an Alpha we're talking about… and the youngest and strongest one ever heard of"

"Not only that but, the fact that he was uhm- rejected" Hakkaku added.

"Most of the northerns think that, given the circumstances of both, Kouga's and Ayame's situation, it could be possible for them to mate" Ginta finally finished.

"… I see" Kagome said, finally seeing the bigger picture, and finally understanding why the Northern tribe was so offended and why they declared war.

Kouga was, quite possibly, the best wolf demon Alpha to ever be. He was young, strong, smart and with crazy leadership skills. He had the biggest, strongest tribe, that would likely only grew in numbers and in strength in the future.

… And, he has a human for intended mate, that rejected him.

Then there was Ayame, apparently the only wolf demon to ever manage to resist from falling for her own intended mate. Ayame, who has been obsessed with Kouga since she was a little girl.

Finally, there was the fact that the potential mating between the two would benefit two large, important wolf tribes… And Kouga rejected all that.

He rejected the girl (quite honestly, probably the very best the North had to offer, as Ginta said), he rejected the power, he rejected peace.

Quite possibly just because of what Kagome did.

Both wolves noticed the change in her feelings and what this new knowledge was doing to her, but said nothing to soothe it. It was something she needed to know, sooner rather than later, and even more so now that she was staying here, where she would experience in the flesh the effects of the war.

They shared a look, another perk of being in a wolf demon pack, it almost was as if they could read eachother's mind.

It would probably be painful, and make her uncomfortable, but they needed to know.

"So, now that you know all of these, I hope you don't mind if we ask you something as well" Hakkaku started.

That hat seemed to have snap Kagome off her thoughts, as she blinked to then look at them, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Sure, what is it?"

They both shared a look again, and while they were nervous as fuck, there was no way they'd live another day with the curiosity.

"Why there's not a single trace of InuYasha on you?" Ginta finally asked.

A.N.:

GOSH, FINALLY! HOW LONG WAS THIS CHAPTER, HONESTLY?!

Hey you guys! It's been a while, but here I am again, quarantine stuck in home, with lots of time and wanting to update my fics!

Idk what to say rn, except that I hope you're staying safe and in home. I hope all of you are healthy, and If you aren't I wish you a safe, quick recovery! Stay safe you guys, it's a difficult time for everyone rn!

Anyways, did you enjoy it? LET ME KNOW!

Till next time!

-Silvana.

[tara-the-quiet-bookworm-2016]

To Love A Killer (Serial Killer! Markus x Simon.) (Chapter Three.)

Authors Note- And here I am back with Chapter Three of To Love A Killer, and yeeeah it’s safe to say that I’m the Queen of Slow Burn. And not even the regular Slow Burn, this is the Slowest of the Slow Burn. And I’m rambling but in this chapter will have not only Simon crushing on Markus something fierce as and various other things. And just so you know this chapter will also include things such as gore and blood and swearing. Followed by mentions of alcohol use, drug abuse, a little bit of violence, and very graphic mentions of you-know-who’s murder victims. So be warned! 

Now that we got this out of the way here is Chapter Three of To Love A Killer, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Three: Just A Crush.

“Thanks for your help today, Simon.” Markus said, smiling down at the blonde man, shifting the brown paper bag filled with books Markus knew he didn’t really need, but if it meant spending more time with Simon he’d buy every single book in the damn store.

“Oh, think nothing of it, it’s what they’re paying me the not so big bucks for.” Simon chuckled, turning to watch as his co-worker Josh ushered out the last of the customers, wishing them a goodnight and offering them a friendly smile before looking to Simon. 

Simon turned to Josh, nodding to him when he saw him gesturing to the clock. Indicating that it was closing time. 

“I take it it’s my cue to leave?” Markus asked, before glancing at the clock above the door. Blinking in surprise Markus noted the time, had he really just spent an hour here doing nothing but chatting up the poor employee?

Turning back to Simon he gave him a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I wasn’t keeping track of the time, I had no idea you were closing soon. I guess I got a little carried away...sorry...”

Simon shrugged, then stifled a yawn. 

Taking that as a sign he should really leave Markus wished Simon a goodnight and turned away. But not before casting a final glance or two back in Simon’s direction. The man in question had turned away from him to collect the last few books that needed to be put away. Stepping out into the seemingly never-ending onslaught of rain Markus headed to his car, putting his new acquired books in the seat beside him as he started his car.

Casting one final glance at the book store Markus smiled. Oh yeah, he thought as he drove into the night, I am definitely coming back here. And with that he disappeared into the night.

“I swear I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so interested in a customer like that, let alone be interested in one enough to sit there and have a conversation with them until it was closing time.” Josh commented, as he sidled up to Simon, who was currently counting the money in his till before either of them could finally, finally go home.

Simon shrugged as he shut the register. “He just seemed like a really cool guy. and it wasn’t like we were swamped with customers.”

“That is true and you got to admit he was rather hot.” Josh said, the corner of his mouth turning upwards as Simon looked to him. “What? You can’t tell me that he wasn’t one of our more attractive customers you’ve ever seen, can you?”

“That he was,” Simon said, removing his name tag and stuffing it in his pocket. “But there is a good chance we’ll never see him again, like many a hot customer before.”

Josh chuckled. “Who knows? Given the way he was looking at you he might come back again.

Simon shook his head, turning his gaze towards the door. “I doubt it, but that is a nice thought.”

“And if he doesn’t I’m sure me, Daniel and every one at home will have to hear you gush about the hot customer for weeks to come.” Josh joked.

Simon rolled his eyes at that. “Maybe...” He muttered, before shrugging. “Shall we head home?” he asked.

Saying nothing more Josh nodded, tugging his jacket on before reaching in his pocket for his keys. “Let’s go home.”

Nodding Simon followed him out of the store, not before shutting the lights off and locking the door. Thoughts of the man swimming through his mind. Simon hoped he would see him again.

***

Today had been a good day. Markus mused, as he unlocked his door, and stepped into his home, and was greeted by the sound of someone rummaging upstairs. If he was any other person who had come home to no doubt possibly find some stranger rummaging around their home he would have ran outside and called 911. Don’t get him wrong, him calling the police was still a possibility but...

“Leo?” he called out, exhausting mixing with irritation as he called out. Followed by silence.

Sighing Markus dropped his bags near the door, shedding off his jacket as he moved further into the house, just as Leo stepped out. And Markus had to suppress the urge to sigh as he took in the sight of his brother. His eyes were red-rimmed and darted all around the room, a sheen of sweat coated his brothers skin. Great, as if dealing with his brother wasn’t bad enough dealing with him stoned was so much worst. 

“H-hey, Markus.” Leo choked out. “I didn’t think you would be back soon, I-I was-”

“Wait, don’t finish that sentence.” Markus said, holding up a hand, cutting Leo off, he was having such a good day and now he was having to deal with this shit, what a way to end it. “Lemme guess you want to borrow money? Or...I guess since you were here when I got home I’m going to assume you were looking for something you could sell?”

Silence was all that greeted him, Leo unable to meet Markus’ eye looked almost sheepish, and was kind of pathetic. Call him cruel, or heartless but Markus was at his breaking point with his older brother, had been even back when Carl was still alive. Hell, there were times when Markus has all but pleaded with Carl to cut ties with him, but Carl he had always been the one with the kind heart. Not that it had even done him any good especially when it came to Leo.  

Hell, Markus was certain that Leo was also to blame for Carl’s dwindling health over the years. And to top it off, there was one final nail in the proverbial coffin for Markus, was when Leo didn’t bother to show up for the funeral.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Leo snapped, after what seemed like forever, his nails scratching at his right arm, red-rimmed eyes glaring daggers at Markus, who merely stood his ground.  “You’re my brother you should be helping me, all I need is some goddamn money is that so wrong?”

Markus was silent. 

“You know I’m...I’m so sick of this all these years you and dad have done nothing but judge me, sorry if I’m not perfect like you or dad, sorry I’m such a goddamn fuck up, now are you going to help me or not?”

“I’m not going to help you, now leave.” Markus said sternly.

And that was all it took, as Leo looked to him, anger shining in bloodshot eyes as he let out an growl and lunged at Markus. Grabbing a hand full of Markus’ shirt Leo pulled back his fist and swung at him, catching Markus in the nose, pain exploding through his nose, causing blood to spill past his lips. 

Snarling Markus pried Leo off of him, his hands grabbing a hold of Leo, slamming him hard against the wall, watching with some sick satisfaction as Leo slid to the ground. But, unfortunately Leo wasn’t one to give up as he got to his feet  and grappled with Markus.

“Leo! Leo! Stop!” Markus yelled, hoping he would manage to get through to his brother before things got really nasty. 

However, his words didn’t seem to be getting through to Leo, so there was only one other choice. Gritting his teeth Markus slammed Leo’s head into the wall, his head hitting the wall with a satisfying crack. The corner of Markus’ mouth turned upwards as he watched as Leo slid to the ground. Turning away from the unconscious form of his brother he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called the cops. 

It wasn’t long before they were hauling Leo away in handcuffs, leaving Markus alone to work on his next project.  Images of his muse as she stared up at him pleadingly flashed through his mind. It was time for him to get to work. Smiling Markus picked up his paint brush and allowed himself to relive that moment he had shared with his muse, splashes of red marring the white of the canvas, the same way her blood had stained her skin and everything around it, he captured the terror in her eyes. And the pain, her face a grotesque ghost of it’s former self.

As he painted Markus wondered how everyone would react to his new line of paintings he had seemed to pump out one after another. What did they think when they looked at his work? Did they see the same thing as he did, terror and pain? Would any of them recognize the woman he portrayed in his art, or did stuff like that go over their heads? Shaking his head Markus placed his painters palette down and took a step back, tilting his head to the side as he admired his work. The corners of his mouth turning upwards, another master piece complete. 

And yet...Markus frowned, he found himself wanting to continue, to work on something else, something that had nothing to do with his muses. And it all had to do with Simon. Worrying at his bottom lip Markus moved to the corner of his art room, and picked up another canvas. Placing it on the easel Markus when to work, his brush flying across the canvas like it never did before. 

Closing his eyes Markus envisioned Simon like he had before. He wanted this to be perfect, like Simon, from those eyes of his to this soft blonde hair and shy smile gracing his face, until... Opening his eyes he found himself looking at his work, it was exactly like looking at the real thing. Nodding to himself Markus placed the paint brush and palette down he looked the picture over, and realized that as much as he loved the picture he knew no one was going to see it. How could he? After all, this was for his eyes only...

***

The Next Day.

They were going nowhere fast. Connor mused, dark eyes fixed on the crime scene photos before him as he worried at his bottom lip, a cup of untouched coffee sitting in his hands as he wracked his brain for answers or anything they might have missed. 

“Five victims in less than two months and we’re no closer to solving the damn case.” Hank muttered behind him. 

“Our killer is meticulous, but that can’t last for long. He has to slip up somehow.” Connor mused, turning away from the murder board, images of woman, ranging from ages twenty to somewhere in their thirties. 

All with various skin tones and hair and eye color, all working different jobs, with different educations. There latest victim had only just enrolled into college to work on a degree in literature. Where as the victim before her, was a high school drop out. So what was his motivation?

“Well, genius any brilliant ideas?” Hank asked, taking a sip of his coffee, blue eyes glued on Connor as the younger detective paced around the room, hand on his chin.

Shaking Connor sighed, reaching into the pocket of his shirt for cigarettes, sticking one between he teeth he promptly lit it before taking a long drag from it. Smoke billowing from his nostrils as he moved around the room once more. 

“You know those things can kill you.” Hank commented.

Connor looked at him from the corner of his eye, the corner of his mouth turning upwards. “So will your drinking, Hank.” He countered, earning a chuckle from Hank.

“Yeah, but what won’t kill us?” Hank said, getting up from his seat, and moving towards the murder board, eyes taking in the sight of the murdered women. 

Whoever had done this had made sure to inflict as much pain on the poor women as possible before ending their lives with a quick slash across the throat. Though to Hank that seemed almost unnecessary, as if he left his victims alone they would have eventually die from blood loss. But what captured Hank’s attention was the amount of torture their killer had inflicted on them, and Hank couldn’t help but wonder why?

What could the torture signify? Was he punishing his victims for something they had done? Or could he be someone who got off on causing them as much as possible? Shaking his head Hank turned away from the pictures, but not before looking to the picture of their latest victim. She had been young, full of life and hope, now she started up lifelessly, her mouth sliced open into a gruesome looking grin. Her fingers were missing as if the killer had hoped she wouldn’t be identified that way.

She was nude, cuts littered every inch of her body, along with burns, they had yet to identify what caused the burns but never less whoever was doing this was a sicko. And Hank vowed that when they caught this guy he would make him suffer the very same way he made his victims suffer he could count on it.

Jumping slightly Hank turned around to face Connor, seeing the soft smile on the younger mans face. “We’ll catch him I’m sure of it. But for now how about we call it a night?”

Sighing Hank nodded, moving towards his desk he pulled his jacket on, watching as Connor did the same thing. He noted the dark circles under the kids eyes, this case was eating away at him, the very same way it was eating away at him. After all this had to be one of the most gruesome cases they had ever worked on in the almost two years they’ve worked together. 

And yet, despite all of the horrific shit they’ve seen. Shaking that thought from his head he clapped a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “C’mon kid let’s go grab a drink my treat. You look like you could use one or two.”

Feeling an exhausted smile form on his lips Connor let Hank lead him out of the precinct, leaving the case behind them for tonight. 

***

It was no use. Simon thought as he shut his text book with a sigh, the sound catching his brothers attention. Daniel looked up from his own work to look at Simon, arching an eyebrow at him. 

“Something wrong?” he asked.

Simon shook his head, running his fingers through his hair, the stir fry Daniel had made him sitting untouched on the table where he sat. “No,” Simon said, looking to his brother. “Just having a hard time focusing.”

“Too much on your mind?” Daniel asked.

Simon nodded, and he knew exactly why and it had everything to do with Markus. But why? Of all the customers that he had encountered over the years why did he seem to haunt Simon’s thoughts? He never felt like this before, normally he would have long forgotten about someone long after he was done work. But still images of the man with the mis-matched eyes flitted through his mind, making it hard for poor Simon to focus on studying. 

Sighing again Simon got up from his seat and moved to his room, leaving his text book and his food untouched. Wishing his brother a goodnight he shut the door and moved to peer out the window that over-looked the city of Detroit. He wondered would he actually be able to see him again?

[luminisvii]

Am I losing my shit about fanfiction again? You BET! It’s time for Tell to lose her goddamn mind about some truly awful fanfic! It’s my blog, I get to do what I want! And that’s to talk about how people are more blessed than they believe since they didn’t read this!

Today I’m going to talk about Super Smash Sisters: Damsel to Hero. Given the title uses a word like Damsel in it and it’s rated M, this is going to be GREAT

content warning for well what do you think a horny man on the internet would write ie: cheating, incest, terrible depictions of women being horny, violence (I don’t explain any of this in detail so you’re welcome. but it is mentioned) I’m not linking this thing because you guys don’t deserve this.

It took me forever to finish the entire fic, and I actually wrote most of this before finishing. You may say “Wait a second Tell, you need to fully read the work in order to discuss it!” No I do NOT. Trust me, this doesn’t need to be finished to understand. I needed moral support for this, I couldn’t have possibly read this by myself. I feel really sorry for my poor friends that have to deal with this horse shit with me because it’s kind of got a bit of je ne sai completely godawful. I’m semi tough and can stomach some senseless nonsense pretty nicely, but the real heroes here are my friends for toughing out the rampant sex and terrible female character writing all mixed with Call of Duty plot and characters. You thought this was about Smash Bros? WRONG! 

I know exactly jack about the author, Yamagata, other than they are probably some poor horny straight guy in high school or maybe a genius troll. We just don’t know. Either way they were pretty dedicated. The fic itself is 91,621 words and 45 chapters, and apparently on hiatus but we all know hiatus is just another word for dead. It’s better off that way. All good awful fics end on a cliffhanger.

The premise, as the title implies, is that all the men of Smash are kidnapped by nazis or some shit after a failed drug raid and it’s up to all the women to save them of which there are Zelda, Peach, and Samus because this was written in the Brawl era. You might think “Wait, isn’t that not a lot of female characters?” right you are! The author decides to bring in tons of female characters from all sorts of video games and anime. A personal favorite is a major character in this fic is Bright Noah from Gundam, notably not a woman. I love him! I’m disappointed he hasn’t slapped anyone yet! What’s the point of importing Bright Noah into a fanfic if he isn’t going to deliver a Bright Slap? Sorry folks, there’s gonna be me getting distracted about Gundam once in a while.

I can’t remember exactly what happens because the chapters really blur together quickly. They’re almost always first half violence in COD land and second half really bad lesbian sex scenes. See, the title is a misnomer. The women don’t actually do a lot of hero work. It’s still handled by men. Ones who aren’t even from Smash Bros. Bright Noah and another guy called Hargrove who I’m not familiar with are constantly telling the women what to do and while the women sometimes go on missions to fight Nazis or whatever, half the time we’re following some random male characters. A good friend had no idea one of them was Tuxedo Mask because they used his dub name and we spent like ten chapters with this idiot before realizing it was him. They just spend their time fighting different various enemies from real life as opposed to smash. So the guys fight and then the women all fuck because when your boyfriend is missing you have to immediately bang the nearest female out of grief. It’s not cheating if it’s gay! Even worse is there’s a lot of incest because apparently that’s how women act, too. Also for some reason when the women DO fight it plays exactly like the men’s side but with Bright Noah just telling them what to do. Also for some reason Peach just fucking kills people and I’m not really sure how to deal with that. Like, yeah, I guess.

Let’s try to do a plot recap but that’s going to be difficult because I’m not sure what the plot is. Okay, in theory, I do. But we’re just circling around and doing the same thing so many times that I’m plain lost. 

In theory, the plot is as mentioned before. The men of Smash get kidnapped and turned to trophies by Nazis. I’m noting that besides Nazis the men are all brutally murdered in order to turn them into trophies. Then it turns out that Samus, Peach, and Zelda are safe because they were at the Smash Mansion cleaning and having sex as princesses and bounty hunters are known to do. Then they find out from Bright that the men have been kidnapped so they have to form a task force against them. So there’s a long ass paragraph of characters, many of which do not have speaking lines until much later anyway, but they’re all female characters from other games or anime. I’m really into Fire Emblem and there’s a bunch of those so time to cry. Bright has to tell these women to stop being so damn emotional and be ready to start murdering. 

Also in the first chapter, we have the reveal of the villain, some Tabuu knock-off named Emerald. She too recruits a ton of villainous characters who all introduce themselves AFTER THEY’VE BEEN RATTLED OFF IN PARAGRAPH FORM. You didn’t get it the first time? They’re all going to painstakingly state their name and identity. Admittedly it’s kind of funny to have Cell in a room with Liquid Snake and Ashnard. Also who invited Valtome? They didn’t even invite Zelgius. Maybe our favorite Begnion General figured out that a certain thirsty ass senator was gonna be there and stayed in bed today. Okay, fewer tangents, I promise. 

With the establishing of all the villains and heroes, everything instantly turns to shit. Half the time we’re not even following a group who’s connected to the main characters and when we are with the main characters they are either having terrible sex or shooting nazis. This sounds like it’d be funnier than it is but it’s really Grade A Depressing. I can’t tell what’s going on or why and since I have exactly no knowledge of Call of Duty I’m afraid I don’t know anything about our actual protagonists either. Every chapter starts with some pretentious usually WWII related quote and involves some guys dying and then some ladies bonking. It’s the same format every time and after a while I feel like this is some advanced torture method. 

Among the bad sex is for some reason moms are banging their elementary school age daughters because their husbands are out. Women are so horny they’d rather fuck their children than wait long enough for their husbands. It’s so messed up. My eyes naturally glaze over on the sex scenes because they’re kind of clinically written and something about cute pussies or whatever. I feel bad for Bright Noah, he has to break up these badly written orgies to talk more about the nonexistent plot. Bright Noah needs a raise. All in all the sex is something that maybe a 13 year old boy might find hot if he hasn’t managed to read all the other way better smut fics out there. If 13 year old boys even do things like that. 

Since there’s no way for me to coherently walk through the plot since each scene hardly seems to amount to anything besides either violence or a roll in the hay, I’ll just have to start briefly talking about the few notable things that happen, probably out of order. Who the fuck even knows what chapters these happened in? I sure don’t! 

First off, a lot of the women conscripted into the task force have supernatural powers but they’re just given guns. I also think the author has something for Krystal or whatever since we focus on her a lot for no good reason. The women are also often infiltrating secret bases to nazis or other bad guys that I’m not as well versed in because admittedly I’m not that interested in the history of warfare, modern or old. I just assume this is a COD thing. But in order to infiltrate the bases, they just wave papers at literally every guy they come across and that does it somehow. I started going ballistic and every time they mentioned papers I would start screeching again. They get stopped by some dude and he’s always like “Where are your papers?” and they ALWAYS have the papers and then they go past but the author FEELS THE NEED TO KEEP BRINGING IT UP. It’s like The Black Fucking Mountains again. Something I’ve learned about myself is that I do poorly with overly repetitive writing, so I wonder why I’m reading world’s most repetitive piece ever penned for fun. I can’t recall anything that happens in any chapters.

Somewhere in the mix they actually save Ike, Marth, and Roy. Somehow the most in character thing in the entire fic happens with them when it’s offhandedly mentioned that they sometimes dogpile into the same bed as a joke. What was more shocking to me is that suddenly Ike is a total nuclear bomb genius out of nowhere. Sure, he’s from a medieval fantasy setting, he knows what nukes are. We finally get some more plot. Apparently Emerald is trying to develop some insanely powerful nuke in order to destroy the trophies of the remaining captured heroes. See, she’s holding them ransom so she can get… money? Power? Fame?

Trying to do this from memory is so hard. I did My Inner Life practically all from memory, only going in there for the copy and pasted quotes! What the heck? This fic just slides off my brain. I don’t know if finishing it is even worth it since it’s not like I’m reading any of the sex scenes in detail (I mean why would I, a woman with decent taste, want to read about usagi feeling up chibi usa) and I sure as hell can’t understand the Call of Duty parts so in conclusion this fic really wasn’t targeted at me. 

But whatever. So now the main crew has to slaughter their way to bomb storage or development or something. Some of the COD guys died and I didn’t notice, some of the villains died (tragically Valtome was K.I.A.) and all in all too much sex was happening. Seriously, Mist has sex on her brother’s bed, that’s kind of nasty. I don’t know why I’m so hung up on all of that. It’s like the piss drinking thing, it’s a minor offense in a long line of “HOLY FUCKING SHIT” but here’s where I get derailed. 

How many times can I say that this fic is terrible? Because it is. I don’t understand who a lot of these characters are and why they’re here or what they’re doing. I managed to read to the end and all that I learned was Shadow the Hedgehog apparently cheated on Rouge with some guy called Makarov who is another major villain. What, so when Rouge cheats on him with another woman it’s fine, but when he cheats on her with a man he gets killed for it? I smell double standard! Don’t worry, I’m a feminist, I support equal rights of everyone getting punished for their perpetual horniness. Still, there’s this shocking turn of events where the men are somehow the ones who aren’t constantly obsessed with sex and the women are going around topless and banging each other constantly while homosexuality in men is seen as evil and wrong. For some reason I think the person who wrote this might be a man. He feels the need to remind us, 40 chapters in, that there will be No Yaoi scenes but plenty of Yuri. No shit dude, like, fuck! I didn’t know! 

Towards the end, Washington DC gets overrun by Colombians and the team has to kill them. There’s some drawn out attack sequence where everything is described in monotonous detail with military terms I don’t understand. I have a general revulsion to military weeaboos as they are sometimes called, so this stuff turns my stomach. It also features Kenichi, the main character of the animated Metropolis adaptation, which I DID see a long time ago! This little boy is killing people! It’s fine! Also it mentions Frau Bow from Gundam and discusses that she’s training to fight in a mobile suit to help support, but Peach and Samus are the ones who actually use the mobile suits. Peach kills people in the RX-78-2. I’m not sure how to feel about that. Another aside is King Boo is in the mix and he dies. How do ghosts die? Asking for a friend. 

There’s also some weird aside of the COD guys doing an arrest in Disneyland. Gaz, Soap, and Price all go there guns akimbo and chase down some dudes and some people die. I don’t think Disney would like that. This also comes out of nowhere, Gaz was playing fucking Go with this dude called Katsuie and it was practically a smash cut transition of “well I arrested a guy in Disneyland once wanna HEAR about it?” and it was. Something. I don’t understand why we did this.

We end with Krystal and Fox discussing that she’s breaking up with him because while he was held hostage, she got engaged to a woman and is unceremoniously dumping him. The scene was honestly kind of funny for the fact that she was having a lesbian three way in his fucking bathroom and then was like “Yeah we’re not dating anymore. I’m engaged. Later idiot!” while naked. Shortly after it’s decided that they need to bomb some German base, I think. So Bright Noah tells the crew to suit up and get ready, and so Krystal and her Lesbians fly off to go fight. Krystal ends up in a one on one with a dude called Scales who I’m unfamiliar with since I don’t know Star Fox lore but I’m sure it’s super important to Krystal. The duel ends so badly that Fox needs to jump in and he and Scales end up plummeting to their death out a window and also getting blown up by grenades. Fox just fucking died for the girlfriend that cheated on him the second he wasn’t home. Honey, you deserve more than this, and Krystal deserves to be treated better by the narrative as well. He gives his blessing as he’s dying, though, so it’s fine. 

The whole thing ends shortly after that. It was never completed, not that I think it could be, since I read all 91k words and I still don’t understand who is who, what’s going on, or why things are happening. Even if I did know all the characters featured I don’t think it’d help. I know about 50% of them and it’s not helpful at all. I completely forgot that Emerald is a thing. She’s the main villain! She’s hardly in it! The guy should have cut the shit and just written 

Tell’s recommendation? Don’t read this unless you’re really, truly a masochist. It’s not funny enough most of the time to justify the insanity. It’s sexist and racist. Chapters monotonously drone on with the same things happening almost every time. The bad sex isn’t even funny. Save yourself the trouble and if you really must know, check out the first few chapters only and then call it. The author has other works that I haven’t read but I’m not sure that I will based on the quality of this work, and they also published something as recently as 2017 meaning they could probably rise from the hiatus grave and kick my ass for trash talking them. 

One Sentence Review: Bright Noah doesn’t slap anyone. 

[coeurvrai]

So I’m back from my dinner because I needed a little break from that absolute buffoonery that I read earlier, even though I know that wasn’t the end of the chapter, unfortunately. So, let’s get to it, shall we?

Apparently not murdering your opponent in a duel is not a good thing, because Nadya notices Felicíja’s guard and a Vulture moving towards her after declaring that she won’t kill her. Before they can get to her, though, someone else comes up behind her and you’ll NEVER guess who it is:

A hand brushed her arm. The dark echo reacted to the touch—Malachiasz—and Nadya’s knees grew weak. She was shoved forward; knocked to her knees before the girl.

The girl who had blood dripping from her mouth, who stared at Nadya with eyes that were already dimming. A spike of iron was driven into her chest. As Nadya stared at it, the spike formed into the shape of a szitelka, then the girl pitched forward, dead.

Nadya, your reactions to Malachiasz are so predictable and so boring. You do this all the goddamn time, like I know you’re a 17 year old girl who has spent her entire life in the mountains apart of a monastery but get a fucking grip jfc

Also “the dark echo reacted to the touch” wtf lmao Like calls to like, I guess? Enough that Nadya can immediately recognise it’s Malachiasz through the swirly internal magical darkness or whatever. Also telling us that the iron turns into “the shape of a szitelka” means absolutely fuck all when you don’t tell us what it looks like. You’d think that’d be an obvious thing to include, but apparently not!

Her stomach roiled as her vision tunneled. No. Mercy, she was going to give the girl mercy.

As I made clear in my previous post/rant, that’s very rich coming from you, Nadya. Also, if you refusing to kill Felicíja (she has a name, I know you know it because you’ve used it before) means you get killed instead, you should be bloody grateful to Malachiasz. It might be the most useful thing he’s done.

It took everything in her not to turn to Malachiasz. The girl’s guard reached them along with the Vulture. Neither of them said anything. The flurry of activity would have masked what had happened. What Malachiasz had done instead of Nadya.

She finally glared at him. He raised an eyebrow at her. There was blood on his fingertips.

Blood dripped from Nadya’s nose.

One day in this cursed city and she was already tired of the sight of blood.

“Blood dripped from Nadya’s nose” *Inigo voice*  You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

One day and you got yourself into a duel because you’re stupid and then didn’t kill Felicíja despite the book harping on how much you despise Tranavians and want to kill them, except for the many times you claim you wanted to kill Malachiasz and had many opportunities to do it and didn’t.

Nadya wonders what was the point of killing Felicíja and then calls Malachiasz an idiot for killing her. You didn’t need a reason to kill Tranavians before, Nadya, except for the fact that they are Tranavian and blood mages and therefore their mere existence is not allowed and they need to be smited so the Gods can rule over them again.

But let’s not get into that again, because otherwise I will make myself angry again and I want to get through some of this book today.

“You expected more from a Tranavian abomination?” Marzenya’s voice was faint, as though coming through a fog. It sounded unbelievably sly, but there was another thread to her voice Nadya had never heard before: rage. “You should have killed the bitch yourself. On your own.”

Holy shit, is Marzenya finally fed up with Nadya’s conflicting, hypocritical, ill-written antics? Are there going to finally be consequences, despite the fact that she should’ve been fed up with her shit like ages ago? Especially her antics to do with Malachiasz.

Also OOF, that’s very godly behaviour, having an omniscient, ageless death deity refer to a teenage girl as “the bitch”. Also we are back to referring to Tranavians as “abominations” again!

Anyways, Marzenya isn’t happy that her Cleric didn’t and didn’t want to kill  Felicíja and that she accidentally used blood magic. So Nadya is feeling v emo and marches out of the arena.

We switch to Serefin’s v belated and last minute perspective post-Duel!

Ostyia and Serefin are in awe of Nadya-as-Józefina’s divine magic because apparently elemental magic is V difficult to do with blood magic.

How had this girl not been drafted into the army? Why had she not joined of her own volition? She was talented, quick, relentless, with an arsenal of spells Serefin had never seen before. He knew elemental spells were possible with blood magic, but no one ever used them because they were too difficult. It was manipulating magic in a way that was changing the power at its basest element. Blood magic drew from a person’s innate ability and manifested in whatever way it was needed, but changing it to the elements—another base, another fundamental item in creation—was incredibly difficult.

Where had this girl been hiding?

In a Kalyazi monastery in some mountains somewhere, which is a place you should be familiar with! Anyways, Serefin’s interest has obviously been drawn because Nadya is the Chosen One and the Protagonist and therefore Special.

There was a flurry of activity in the arena and Serefin leaned over the railing. Two masked Vultures were carting off Felicíja’s body.

Horror rippled through him and he exchanged a glance with Ostyia. What were they doing?

He dimly felt Ostyia’s touch on his arm. He shouldn’t be staring; it shouldn’t be a sight he found uncomfortable. But it was another piece of the puzzle, another step closer. He hoped it wasn’t coming too late.

To perform experiments on it, of course! Get with the program, Serefin.

Also your POVs keep coming too late in these chapters and I miss when you had your own damn chapters, so I could at least have a break from Nadya’s POV. But alas, ED isn’t that kind, so I have to deal with this back and forth mess.

Onto the next chapter, with more riveting action and mystery I’m sure.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 19 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

Len is so far from having a good day, he can't even begin to quantify it. It's like something out of one of his worst nightmares.

(There had better not be a meta with the ability to turn nightmares into reality, because if there is and they have anything to do with this, Len is going to throttle them and he won't even be sorry. Well, maybe a little sorry.)

But seriously, he’s having trouble picking the worst thing that’s currently happening to him.

Mick is gone - hurt, kidnapped, probably dying from lack of hospital access, trapped at the mercy of some superhuman monster that likes to play with people before he kills them.

Trapped in a room knowing there’s nowhere to go, just like Len was.

If Len thinks about that for too long, he’s going to crack, and he can’t crack, not when Mick's counting on him, so he can’t think about it.

But if he’s not thinking about Mick, then he’s thinking about the fact that the Families are on the cusp of closing a deal that will give them fresh blood and power and vigor, thereby undoing all the work he's so painstakingly accomplished with twenty years undercover.

Or the fact that the police force he gave his life to, his friends, his family, his truth to, is corrupt beyond all belief, beyond even his admittedly negatively biased views of it.

That the city he loves is a ticking time bomb and he's one of the few people who knows it.

That Barry is still fucking perfect.

Okay, that last one is probably not at the same level as the others, but damnit, it feels like it should be.

Barry has no right being so damn wonderful. He committed horrible crimes!

...which he accepted, taking responsibility for and accepting the consequences of. He didn't make excuses, he didn't try to explain himself, he just looked Len square in the eyes and said: You're right, I was wrong, I will never let it happen again, I will do better, but just saying so doesn't change the fact that what I did was wrong and I will pay what I must for it.

And he was manipulated by Wells, who's apparently good enough to play politics with the military and the Families and the Central City government, all at once, and that's without considering how he tricked Barry into seeing him as a surrogate father figure, utilizing his apparently extensive stalking (including, apparently, cameras in Barry's bedroom which really is the stuff of nightmares) to figure out the best ways to get under Barry’s skin.

Under the circumstances, really, one could see many of Barry’s actions as being taken under a form of emotional duress...

Damnit.

Mick was right, as he so often is.

Barry really isn't corrupt. Barry's trying his best and making mistakes (if very bad ones) in the process. But deep down, Barry’s still a good man.

And Len is head-over-fucking-heels in love with him.

A realization that helpfully arrived after he destroyed Barry's life and those of his closest friends and family.

He fully expects that this has almost certainly ruined his chances to ever get Barry’s forgiveness, even after Barry serves whatever time he must. Acceptance, tolerance, understanding, maybe, but nothing else.

Nothing like love.

Great.

Way to go, Len. Way to fucking go.

At least Len’s still in charge of the investigation in some part – really, he ought to have recused himself as soon as he’d processed what Hartley had told him, given his emotional involvement with one of the targets, but he was just so upset that he utterly forgot – so there's a chance he might be able to present evidence of what mitigating factors exist to explain Barry’s actions, and hope that that's enough to convince someone impartial to take pity.

The alternative – Barry's spirit getting stamped out of him by the brutal realities of prison, or indelibly tainted by a quiet and unethical dismissal designed to avoid having to re-open his cases – isn’t worth thinking about.

So he won’t.

Len’s gotten very good at not thinking about things.

At least he has now: this wonderful, awful interlude where they're working together, a unified front, the way Len wishes they still were.

The way they were before Len screwed everything up because he just couldn’t help his knee-jerk instinct to assume the worst in people and refuse to listen to any explanation they might have. If only he'd confronted Barry in private, maybe...

Still, if this little bit of teamwork is all Len can get, he'll take it.

Of course, despite his confident words to Barry, actually getting everything into action and going to STAR Labs to defeat Wells and rescue Mick and Thawne isn't as easy as just saying that they’ll do it.

Len has a time and a half getting the Feds on board, but twenty years of being one of their most reliable local guys pays its dividends and they agree to come with whatever resources they can spare, which on such short notice – the day before, really, Snart, you getting lax on us? – isn’t much but will have to do. Len puts his contacts in touch with Singh at the CCPD and Cecile Horton at the District Attorney’s office, the only two he personally trusts to not be on a Family payroll, to work out the business of getting warrants and putting together an actionable plan for how to deal with what’s coming.

Unfortunately, getting in touch with the CCPD means that the CCPD, leaky boat that it is, knows that something big is going down.

There’s no way to avoid it, but Len didn’t spent his years undercover twiddling his thumbs, either.

“Singh, I want you to go for a walk with someone and mention to them that they’ve got to keep it real hush-hush, but the Feds are getting involved ‘cause someone’s threatening a terrorist attack on Election Day,” Len instructs. He’s getting annoyed that he’s still on the phone while Barry’s already finished up making plans with Iris, called in Ramon and Snow to go help the CCPD with gadgets and triage for potential injuries respectively, and is now standing around and is, in fact, twiddling his thumbs.

And, to add insult to injury, he didn’t even use superspeed.

“Yes, I know, the cover story won’t last past impact,” he adds impatiently when Singh protests. “That ain’t the point. The point is that we don’t know who in the department is on the take and who ain’t, and that means we tell all of ‘em the cover story in an attempt to keep the Families from panicking before the Feds can show up with RICO warrants. Just drop the story publicly, then keep going with it in private until everyone’s convinced that’s the reason for the time being.”

There’s more arguing on the now-conference call line.

“No, we’re not getting clearance from the Commissioner,” Len says. “Not till we’re sure he’s clean. Listen, he gave me free clearance to recruit as many people as I wanted to my Weird Things task force, right? And basically no mandate? I’m recruiting your entire precinct, it can go under my name, it’s fine – yes, I’m aware that it’ll blow up in my face if this intel’s wrong, I don’t care, I’m willing to take the risk.”

That convinces a good few people. Amazing what the opportunity to cover your ass will convince people to do.

After a bit more insistence, they finally agree to accept his idea and to implement it in just the way he proposed, and then they move on to debating mechanics – where to put up barricades to help reduce damage if there are, as expected, riots, explained away as preparations for a potential panicked response to the ‘terrorist attack’, how many resources they need to divert to reinforce Iron Heights to ensure there aren’t break-outs in the meantime, etc.

Len waits a few more minutes and, when he’s pretty sure they don’t need him anymore, says, “In the meantime, I’m going to go deal with an outstanding issue –”

Immediate protests.

Goddamnit, people, you’re adult policemen! Do your goddamn jobs! Without Len holding your hand the entire time!

“Are you done yet?” Barry asks hopefully.

"You know what, yes," Len says. "Fuck this. Let's go. Yes, I’m hanging up now – no, you can’t call me back, I’m going to mute my phone the second after I hang up, I don’t care – listen, if I survive what I’m about to go do, I promise I’ll sign off on all of this minutiae and if I’m dead, just blame whatever you do on me. I ain’t gonna care, I’ll be dead. And right now, I don’t know which one of ‘em’s a better option!”

He hangs up.

“Sometimes I wish we still had flip-phones,” Barry says nonsensically, but it makes sense when he adds, “I feel like it would have been more satisfying to slam something closed or down in the hanger or something, rather than just angrily stabbing the ‘end call’ button.”

“Very likely,” Len says, and then his phone rings again.

He lifts it up to throw it down on the ground, only for Barry to flash it out of his hands before he can. “I’m gonna turn off your phone,” Barry says wisely. "It's clearly stressing you out."

"Mick is missing and maybe dead, the Families are going to destroy my city, lots of people are gonna die, and even the police I trust not to be corrupt are being pests," Len says, scowling. Barry hands him back his phone with the setting firmly on ‘mute’, which helps a little. "I think I’ve gone beyond stress."

"Where we're going, we don't need neurotransmitters."

Len pauses. "We're in the middle of a crisis and you’re paraphrasing Back to the Future?"

"...maybe?"

Stop being perfect.

"Right," Len says instead. "Let’s find a private corner and you can take us to STAR Labs. When we get there, if you see Mick and Thawne -"

"Don't you dare say that I'm to prioritize getting them out," Barry cuts him off. "I can only carry two people, and I'm not leaving you alone."

"Barry -"

"You can't defeat him. I barely stand a chance."

"I have the cold gun –"

"He's a speedster. You got one over on him the last time because he wasn’t expecting it, but now that he is, you'll never get the chance to use it."

"It doesn't matter," Len hisses. He knows that. He knows that all too well. But ultimately, in the end, it doesn’t matter. They still have to try. "Barry, please. When we get there, you have to listen to me, okay? I'm not going to say you have to prioritize them, we'll make a game-time decision on that depending on the circumstances, but I have to trust that you'll listen to me."

For some reason, that makes Barry pause. "Okay," he says. "Okay. You can trust me. I'll listen to you."

"Even if I order you take them out and leave me behind?"

"Even then. But we have to try to get everyone out before we resort to that, okay?"

"Deal." Len tries on a smirk. “I don’t intend to let Wells have the last word – besides, didn’t you hear? I’ve got paperwork to do.”

“Just so you know, that conversation doesn’t actually give me a lot of confidence in your desire to survive this,” Barry says dryly, because he knows Len pretty well, but he runs them to STAR Labs anyway.

Despite the fact that the sun is rapidly setting around them, almost all of STAR Labs’ lights have been shut off, likely because Ramon wasn’t around to turn them on, lending the building an eerie, deserted feeling.

It's "almost all" because once they walk through the main doors, they see that it's not entirely true that the building is deserted – the lights in the base of the Accelerator itself, the very core of STAR Labs, are still on.

“Wow,” Barry says. “So, everyone who thinks this is a trap, say ‘aye’.”

“Aye,” Len says. “Sadly, we’re going in anyway.”

“Should I pick up my Flash suit?” Barry asks. “It’s in the main lobby, and it could offer some extra protection –”

“No, don’t. Ramon made that, and it lives here; Wells could’ve tampered with it at any time.”

Barry makes a face. “Yeah, point. I’ve seen some of the stuff Cisco can do remotely with that thing; I don’t want to get trapped or lit on fire or something like that.”

He still looks wistful, though, so Len adds, “If we survive here, you can get him to make you a new one. Ramon, that is; it doesn’t seem like Wells took him into his confidence.”

Barry nods, looking a bit cheered. “Stop saying ‘if’,” he advises. “We’re going to survive. Better, we’re going to rescue everyone.”

Determined optimism is a good look on Barry.

Everything is a good look on Barry.

(Barry's beautiful.)

God, Mick was right -

He can't think about Mick.

Mick, who was torn away from the hospital equipment he still needs to live. Who could already be gone, dying a torturous death of sepsis or an infection or even just an inability to keep all his body functioning...

He can’t think about Mick.

“Let’s go,” he says, and makes his way into the Accelerator.

It’s not even a surprise to see Wells waiting patiently for them down on the Accelerator’s floor, a door pulled open from the floor to reveal a ladder undoubtedly leading into a secret basement room.

Len assumes that’s where Mick and Thawne are being kept.

Wells is wearing the yellow suit with the hood pushed back off his face. It looks exactly like Barry’s Flash suit, only in reverse colors and with a lightning bolt facing the other direction.

Creepy stalker.

Len wonders if Barry’s suit was always designed to be the opposite of Wells’, and if so, what that was supposed to signify.

“Take us down,” Len tells Barry. “Fast.”

He grits his teeth through the run, even though, as always, his back and leg protest the movement. It’s fine, though; he’s prepared. He can’t show weakness right now.

He's always been good at ignoring pain to avoid showing weakness.

“Mr. Snart,” Wells says. “Mr. Allen – no. Barry. Welcome. I’ve been expecting you for some time now.”

“What can you say,” Len drawls. “Sometimes I can be a bit – slow.”

Barry, who was standing as tense as wire string and almost undoubtedly working himself into an anxious frenzy that would do nothing but make him less capable of thinking through his actions before he did them, audibly snorts at that, relaxing into a more comfortable stance.

Len knows Barry pretty well by now, too.

“Indeed you are, Captain Cold,” Wells says. “Slowing things down is rather your specialty, isn’t it?”

Len isn’t impressed with Wells right now. “You realize that’s a precinct nickname, right? And I’m pretty sure you ain’t a cop.”

“In my time, you are known almost universally by your chosen appellation,” Wells says. “I’d start adjusting now, if I were you.”

“In your time?” Barry asks. "What - do you mean that you're -"

No way.

No fucking way.

"Oh yes," Wells says, and smiles. It's a very creepy and intimidating smile. "It’s true. I'm from the future."

Len shifts to lean more of his weight on one crutch, pulling it in tight against his body for better balance, and raises his other hand into the air like a schoolboy.

"...do you have a question, Mr. Snart?" Wells says, his voice a little strangled, his creepy smile gone crooked with confusion. Probably wasn't expecting Len’s infantile behavior, but in his defense Wells is clearly setting up for a nice lecturing monologue, so it seemed appropriate.

Barry just has his eyes closed like he's trying to keep himself from kicking Len and his lips pressed tight to keep himself from laughing.

"How far in the future?" Len asks. "Are we talking one day? One week? One year? Ten years? A hundred? A thousand? Has the sun exploded yet?"

"I - no? Why would the sun have exploded?"

"Ain't it supposed to do that in a billion years or so?" Len frowns at him. "You're a scientist, don't you know that?"

"He's a particle physicist, Len," Barry says, sounding long-suffering but also highly amused. "You don't have to take astronomy courses to get a degree in that. He's not some sort of all-around mad scientist from a novel or television show or something. Besides, time travel we know is real; multidisciplinary studies is just implausible."

"Fine, fine," Len says, even though as a non-scientist that sounds highly dubious to him. "The question still stands - are we talking real time, or is he just being really pretentious about having come back about a week or so?"

"I traveled back a thousand years to find the Flash," Wells snaps. "And when I did, I discovered that he wasn't worthy of the honors history had bestowed upon him! I was alone, Mr. Snart; the only one in my era like me, the only one gifted with these powers, and yet when I sought out someone who could understand, he rejected my friendship -"

"Rejecting a crazy murderous fanboy," Len says. "Can't imagine why he did that."

Wells scoffs. "The people I kill here now have been dead for centuries to me, Mr. Snart. They were insignificant to the timeline; it makes no difference."

"Makes something of a difference to them," Len says. "Lemme guess the rest, yeah? You got powers - maybe you even gave yourself powers, after hearing about what the Flash could do from your history books - and then you realized that it's too damn easy to be the only speedster around. So you found a way to go back to the only place you knew you'd find another one, 'cept you're a waste of space personality-wise, a self-absorbed asshole with delusions of grandeur, so when Barry here didn't immediately give you all the attention you wanted, you decided you hated him and that you were gonna kill him. Except for you, it wasn't enough to just kill him, 'cause then he'd still be alive for you, wouldn't he? Not like those other, insignificant people - no, you needed to wipe him outta history. So you went back to when he was just an insignificant little kid. Something like that, yeah? Stop me if I got anything wrong."

"Very clever, Mr. Snart," Wells says. He looks like he's just bitten into a lemon. Probably wasn't expecting Len to steal his thunder like that. Pity for him that Len’s actually read a book or two in his time, and he likes scifi. God, what a cliché. "Unnecessarily editorial, but right on the important points."

"That's why you killed her?" Barry asks, blankly, numbly. Another dagger in his heart, courtesy of Wells - was there no way this man would stop hurting him? "Because - because of me?"

"You were my target, Barry, yes," Wells says. His voice is kindly, almost paternal, if you ignore the batshit crazy stuff spilling from his mouth. "Your future self stopped me, stealing you away and saving you, and I killed her in anger. But it was my good fortune that I didn't succeed - killing your mother was enough to derail your future and stop you from being the Flash. But it was only then that I realized: without you to inspire me, I would never have obtained my own powers. My access to the Speed Force was cut off, and I was trapped in this primitive era - and my only way back was you, Barry. I need you. Only you will be fast enough to help me use the Accelerator to open the time portal I need to get back home."

"That's why you wanted me to get faster," Barry says, his eyes fixed on Wells much like a man confronted by a venomous snake. "As soon as possible. That's why - but why in the world would you think I'd help you? Especially now? Why?"

"Because, Barry, I can help you fix it," Wells says, his eyes avid. "The same speed that will enable me to return to my era will help you go back to when you need - to stop me from killing your mother at all - to erase my mistake, that caused you so much pain -"

"You know what, I don't believe you," Len announces.

"You - what?!"

"I don't think you killed her."

"I beg your pardon?!"

"You're a speedster, Barry's a speedster," Len says with a shrug. "Who says the real Man in Yellow couldn't've been a third guy? You might just be claiming credit."

Wells looks irritated beyond all belief. Barry is just staring at Len in total disbelief. Lots of belief going around here.

"What?" Len says. "He's got a nice story - ooooh, I'm from the fuuuuture, how narratively satisfying - but no proof. Why couldn't he be taking advantage of someone else's crime to get what he wants? It's not like he knows any details about the murder that only the murderer would know or something -"

"I murdered Nora Allen in her own living room," Wells snarls. "With a stainless steel knife measuring approximately eight inches, taken from the kitchen - the second drawer on the counter, the third one down the right side of the knife block, knocking down several pans that were hanging above as I did - and then I stabbed her in the thorax between the seventh and eighth rib, using enough force to cause traumatic bruising throughout -"

He stops abruptly. And then he starts chuckling.

"Oh, very clever indeed, Mr. Snart," he says, his voice soft and menacing. "Always thinking ahead, aren't you? I assume you're recording this conversation?"

"My phone's uploading to a cloud stream right now," Len confirms cheerfully. "Scattering the evidence onto a dozen different servers all around the world - none of which you'll be able to track, being a particle physicist and not a computer engineer. Thanks, though; that'll make proving Barry's dad's innocence a heck of a lot easier."

Barry looks touched.

"Besides," Len says, "your plan won't work and you know it."

Wells scowls at him. "And why not, exactly?"

"Because you know very well that I made Barry promise me he wouldn't go back and change significant events in the past," Len says. "I've got some mistakes of my own that I need to confront and accept, and knowing there was a way to reverse 'em was too easy. So I made him swear." He shrugs. "Barry's a bit of a liar, don't get me wrong, but once he promises something, he sticks to it."

Wells looks even more lemon-faced, probably because he's spent significant time with Barry these past few months and knows that what Len's saying is, in fact, true.

Barry's a stickler for his promises, even if he lies like a scarlet-and-gold Aladdin-style rug when confrontation is in the air.

Len's pretty sure that Wells already knew all of this, though, which means he's just posturing - and still has cards left to play.

"Well, then," Wells says, and sure enough he doesn't actually seem surprised by the revelation. "It appears we are at something of an impasse. Unless you're willing to release Mr. Allen from his promise?"

"Nope," Len says. "Sorry. And yes, before you start, I included the event of my death in the things he ain't allowed to change. So that's my last word on the subject."

"Luckily, it isn't mine," Wells says, and smirks. "I heard you, you see, in the hospital - very touching, confessing your love for Mr. Allen -"

"His what?!" Barry blurts out.

Great.

Thanks, Wells.

"- but you also made something else very clear," Wells says. "You vowed that you'd never pick anything over Mr. Rory ever again, didn't you?"

"You stole him from a hospital bed," Len says bitterly. "One attaching him to things he needed to live. Given that he's probably already dead now, what exactly are you offering me? A redo where you don't take him?"

"Oh no, Mr. Snart -"

Wells blurs, and suddenly Mick is there - on his knees, his arms bound before him, a gag in his mouth - but he's alive.

He's alive.

He's –

Noticeably less injured?

Still burned, yes, the burn scars still ugly across his neck and his shoulders and chest beneath the ill-fitting STAR Labs sweatshirt Wells put him in, but he's breathing on his own and he's not bleeding and his muscle tone looks vastly improved.

He looks like he could almost be - okay.

"One of the many advantages of future technology, Mr. Snart," Wells says. "When I took Mr. Rory - admittedly, more in the interest of tormenting you than in preparation for this moment, but waste not, want not - I realized swiftly that he would soon expire if a number of his more serious injuries were not resolved. And so: I did."

Len swallows.

Mick.

Mick, alive, better - and probably about to be murdered by a speedster.

Well, two outta three ain't bad.

"And so I offer you a deal, Mr. Snart," Wells says. "You may love Mr. Allen, but you also love Mr. Rory. Which one do you love more?"

"Why'd you take Thawne?" Len asks, playing for time. That didn’t sound like the sort of ‘deal’ he’d be interested in. "Instead of Iris?"

Wells smirks. "Ah, yes; hadn't I mentioned? My name is not Harrison Wells - that was merely an identity I assumed upon coming to this era. Instead -"

"You're a Thawne," Barry breathes, inadvertently interrupting. "That's it, isn't it? You're his descendant! If anything happens to him, that would affect you, wouldn't it?"

"Very good, Barry," Wells says, because apparently Barry interrupting him with insights is all well and good while Len doing the same is just annoying. It's okay, Len knows who the favored child here is, and he doesn't envy Barry one bit. "My true name is Eobard Thawne - a descendant of a great and noble house, politicians and scientists and kings, the great movers and shakers of history. It occurred to me that continuing to run around with Mr. Snart here could lead little Eddie into trouble. And while he himself wasn't anything special, his death would be - paradoxical."

"Very Back to the Future of you," Len says.

"Indeed. Very well, enough of this - Mr. Snart, I will give you Mr. Rory, in his new stabilized condition, as well as my word that I will refrain from harming both of you. In return, however, you release Mr. Allen from your promise - and leave him here with me."

Barry swallows. "Len," he says before Len can react.

Len looks at him.

"It makes sense," Barry says quietly. "I'm the only one who's a match for him - even with your cold gun, you won't be able to do much. This'll at least keep you guys safe. It's a good deal. You should take Mick and go."

"That's right," Wells adds gloatingly, smirking as Barry flinches. "Just take Mr. Rory. You love him more, after all -"

"S'got nothing to do with who I love more!" Len exclaims. "That doesn't matter!"

"It - doesn't?"

"No! I'm a goddamn cop! Trading one innocent life for another is unethical."

"Unethical," Wells says blankly.

"Yes! Ethics! Contributing to another person's crime makes you part of it, while doing nothing doesn't. Listen, even for a psychopath like you that don't got a little voice that tells you right from wrong, there are rules that lay it all out, and the rules are real clear on this one. Emotions don't even come into the goddamn equation. No one's getting traded for nobody."

And then he catches Mick's eyes and without saying a single word they both act at once, in one gloriously synchronized motion the way they used to do when they were proper partners, Len acting as a distraction by pulling out his cold gun, keeping Wells' (Eobard's?) attention while Mick swings his bound arms straight across, thereby hopefully giving Len a chance to finishing getting his gun out.

Wells might be a speedster, but he still needs to notice something coming his way.

He also reacts to being punched in the balls the same as any other man.

Unfortunately, he recovers much faster.

Much, much faster.

He knocks Len down, only to be hit in the side by a charging Barry, and next thing Len knows the two of them are running through the Accelerator.

It's no contest.

Wells is faster - much faster. He has more experience, more practice, more time to experiment - he knows tricks Barry hasn't even conceived of.

He's leading Barry on a pointless chase through the Accelerator - or maybe not so pointless, given what he said about using the Accelerator to open a time portal.

Not good.

"Barry!" Len shouts. "Get Mick and Detective Thawne outta here now!"

Yes, he's aware that he could have safely left Thawne in, er, the other Thawne's custody; Eobard-Wells has already admitted he doesn't plan on killing him.

Not on killing him, no. But harming him...

There are plenty of ways to harm someone if all you need from them are their genes.

Besides, Len would never leave someone trapped in a small room, an oubliette, abandoned and losing all hope of rescue - especially as Wells would undoubtedly move him to somewhere equally secure but less easy to find if he were given the chance.

At least Wells wasn't expecting Barry to veer off so sharply, obeying Len's orders without hesitation, and he actually comes to a complete stop for a moment, staring after Barry as the yellow flash of light zips out the door.

Then he turns to Len.

"Cold, Mr. Snart," he says, and his tone is murderous. "Very cold. When given a choice of which one of three to sacrifice, you choose - yourself. The cripple."

Suddenly he's in front of Len, standing far too close, the cold gun batted out of Len's hands to their feet. Len can't bend to pick it up, not with his injuries, and he's pretty sure his conventional weapon will be less than useless.

"Pity," Wells says conversationally. "I would have liked to work with you, one day. But I suppose you'll have to serve my purposes by showing Barry that nothing he loves will ever be safe until he defeats me. Me - and only me."

Len doesn't even feel the blow that throws him across the room, but he does feel it when he hits the ground, hard, his crutches clattering down around him, his side and leg on fire, his head spinning from the impact as he stares blankly up at the Accelerator's glass ceiling.

He can see the stars in the darkening evening sky.

Only two, mind you, but that's light pollution in Central City for you. Plus he's pretty sure only one of them's a star and the other a plane.

Still - not the worst view to end a life on.

He regrets it, of course, but Mick will be safe and well, and Barry - well, Len already broke Barry's heart when he turned him and his friends in to the police. Barry will mourn him, of course, and probably the what-might-have-beens, thanks to Wells’ little revelation, but he'll be fine, in time.

Wells appears above Len and hauls him up.

"Not yet, Mr. Snart," he says. God, what an utter cliché he is; Len could practically recite his next few words with him. "First I'm going to wait until Barry comes back. Then I'm going to kill you."

Yep. Just as expected.

"Boss!"

Wait, what?

That was not part of the script.

Especially since that was Danvers' voice, rather than Barry's or Mick's.

"Who are you?" Wells asks, a bit blankly. He's probably never even seen Danvers before.

"That's my secretary," Len says, just as blankly. He has no idea what she's doing here - Iris must've told her where they were.

"Admin assistant, boss!" she shouts, a kneejerk instinct.

"...right," Wells says, obviously deciding that he doesn't care. "Unless you've instructed Mr. Allen not to return -"

Damn, Len wishes he'd thought of that.

But no, it's too late for that, he can already see the red-and-yellow streak that is Barry Allen, running towards them desperately, and he can see that Wells sees him, too, and Wells lifts his hand, vibrating as fast as a saw, and -

Suddenly there’s glass everywhere.

Glass?

Oh, he's gone through STAR Labs’ glass ceiling.

Wait - how?

Danvers has him in her arms.

(Heh. Women and glass ceilings - there's a pun in there, somewhere.)

Wait, is Danvers flying?

That seems impossible, but they're definitely hovering far above STAR Labs, looking down at Central City, all lit up for the encroaching night, laid out beneath them. Which - huh?!

They float there in silence for a long moment.

It’s getting awkward.

“Well, Danvers,” Len finally says, because he’s never been awkward with Danvers and he has no plans to start now. “No wonder you never had train problems!"

[nickireadstfc]

The King's Men, Chapter 1 – Hello Foxhole, My Old Friend

In which the Foxes are introduced to Meat Grinder Neil, Nicky misses an opportunity for a memeworthy Christmas gift, we find out some things about Jean, and Andrew and Neil chill on a rooftop or whatever.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The King's Men.

Hello hello hello, we’re back! Welcome to the one, the only, the glorious, all-surpassing, awe-inspiring, shade-throwing, capslock-inducing and feels-wrecking finale to this hell of a ride called All For The Game - welcome to The King's Men.

Let’s start at the very front: A cover, as always, says more than a thousand words, and this cover has one clear message it shouts in the faces of those familiar with the series, clear as day and ringing like a bell: IT'S SHOWDOWN TIME, FUCKERS.

Two Exy racquets, one orange, one black, crossed, clashing. The title, half-orange, half-black. Nora Sakavic' name at the bottom, also half-orange, half-black, menacingly laughing in my face like Rumpelstiltskin on crack, glee-drunk on my surely following future tears.

Whee-hee. Let’s fucking go.

(Also, the chapters are getting much longer by this book, so y'all will have to deal with these posts being longer as well. Soz.)

          Even after a semester at Palmetto State University and a couple weeks practicing on the largest Exy stadium in the United States, Neil was still struck breathless by the Foxhole Court.

Neil, my boy, you never disappoint. Even through hardship, bruises and cuts, one thing can always be relied on: Your gigantic boner for Exy. Get a room, you two.

          “It’s time to go,” Wymack said.

          That was enough to make Neil get up, although his battered body protested.

Oh yeah, quick reminder for anyone who might have forgotten (although – why the fuck would you ever): Neil is currently walking minced meat with Trauma Jetlag™, a literal prison tattoo, and #allnatural #naturaleyes #naturalhair #nomakeup #nofilter.

Because of that, he’s obviously not that keen on running into his squad at the moment. Can’t exactly blame the dude.

If I looked like Freddy Krueger with a facial tramp stamp, I wouldn’t go around instagramming selfies either.

Especially when I willingly ran into the arms of the dude who is nationally known for giving out facial tramp stamps.

          Wymack had even locked the office in his short absence. Neil had been in there enough times to know Wymack didn’t keep anything particularly valuable on his shelves. The only thing of any import was Neil’s duffel. (…) On Neil’s first day in South Carolina he had asked Wymack to protect his things, and seven months later Wymack was still keeping that promise. It was almost enough to make Neil forget all about Riko.

Guys, this just in: Wymack is still the best damn person alive. #dicksoutforwymack

The best damn person alive also already warned the Foxes Neil looked like a human punching bag in order to prevent them from having an actual heart attack when they see him. Yay, have fun explaining yourself to them, hombre.

          Matt moved soundlessly for a few moments before he finally managed to choked, “Jesus Christ, Neil.”

          “It’s not as bad as it looks,” Neil said.

This just in: Neil is Veronica from Heathers, minus the 80’s hair-do.

In order to fulfill his self-appointed role as Neil’s mother hen, Matt then swiftly goes and punches newly-arrived Kevin in the fucking face – which is generally a sentiment I can support, although it really is not his fault this time.

          Matt stared at him for an endless minute, then said, “I want to break [Riko’s] face in six places. If he ever comes within a thousand yards of you again –“

Same, Matt. Fucking SAME.

Matt being protective of Neil will never not give me a healthy dose of The Feels™.

One confrontation down, four to go: What do Aaron, Nicky and Kevin have to say to Mr Meat Grinder?

          Unsurprisingly, Aaron was the safest one to look at. (…) Neil gave him a moment to see if he’d ask, but all Aaron did was shrug.

Glad to see the usual amounts of sympathy and care coming from one half of the Minyard Murder Twins.

Although I’m doubting the other half will muster up any more affection.

          Nicky, on the other hand looked absolutely crushed as he took in Neil’s wrecked appearance. He reached out as soon as Neil was close enough and wrapped his hand around the back of Neil’s neck, (…) carefully pulling Neil up against him.

Also, glad to see the usual freaking normal reaction coming from Nicky, aka some goddamn comforting hugs for once in this cold, cold monster squad.

Nicky hugs are the best hugs.

          At least Kevin had the decency to speak in French. “Tell me the master didn’t approve this.”

Every time Kevin still calls Tetsuji “the master”, a little tiny thing inside my heart dies.

10/10 would protect my tiny big ass traumatized son.

          “Riko said he’d hurt us if I change it back. All I can do is duck my head and hope for the best.” (…)

          “How long do you think he’ll let you hide before he forces you to show [the tattoo] off? The press will be all over this (…). He’s trying to get you found.”

Well, duh.

I’m already looking forward to Neil regaining his confidence, and then I’m looking forward to him sassing the absolute everloving shit out of whoever tries to come for him for his appearance and tattoo.

          “He wouldn’t waste his time unless he thinks we really are going to be a problem for his team That means something, doesn’t it? (…) Kevin, you do what you do best and focus on Exy. Take us where he doesn’t want us to go.”

Hell effin yes.

We’re gonna fucking make it to finals, and we’re gonna fucking shoot that dumb Exy ball so hard around those Raven Fuckers’ heads that we shoot the asshole smirk right off Riko’s ugly face.

Yas.

          Nicky looked between them as if making sure they were done, then scooped his gift bags up again and held one out to Neil.

          “Belated Christmas present,” he said, a little sadly.

NICKY LET ME LOVE YOU.

Trust this dude to always bring the sunshine around at the end of the day.

          “I’ve got Andrew’s with me, too. Actually, I got you two the same thing because you are like the most impossible people in the world to buy for.”

Knives, hair dye, black T-Shirts, cigarettes, a coupon for an anger management course,… Andreil gift-shopping ain’t that hard, homie.

But scratch all that - Nicky got them each a winter coat!

This would have been even better if Nicky hadn’t gotten the same coat for each of them, but literally the same coat – because now all I can imagine is Neil and Andrew stuck in one coat like a Get Along Shirt.

If someone makes this into fanart, I will pay you in Ben & Jerry’s. I’m being dead serious.

Four reunions done and the most important one still to go – one road trip to Columbia later:

        “If you’ll sign in, I’ll ring Dr. Slosky and let him know you’re here.”

        (...) Neil was the only one who hesitated when his pen touched the paper. Riko hadn’t let him be “Neil” at Evermore. Every time Neil answered to it on the court, Riko beat him for it. (…) Riko wanted him to know how much trouble he’d caused the Moriyamas with all of his alibis.

Jesus fuck. Is there literally anything he didn’t get beat for at the Batcave of Extra?

Actually, don’t answer that.

Also, hate to be that person again but – shouldn’t he have gotten to that bit of trauma way earlier? Wymack and the Foxes called him Neil so many times already, why is this only kicking in now?

I legit don’t have an explanation and I think it may just be a continuity error. If anyone does have a good explanation, shoot me an ask.

They sit down to wait for Andrew and to everyone’s surprise (including mine), Kevin uses the wait to do something so incredibly out of character my figurative wig was instantly snatched:

Being a compassionate person.

        “I know what he’s like,” Kevin said. Neil looked at him, but Kevin was studying his hands. “Riko. If you want to talk.”

Fucking what.

        It was the most awkward and uncomfortable thing Kevin had ever said to him. Kevin was known for his talent, not his sensitivity. (…) That he tried at all was so unexpected Neil felt it like a balm to every bruised inch of his skin.

Oh my GOD.

HE’S TRYING, he’s trying to make Neil feel better, he just wants to help and to comfort him I’m gonna light myself the fuck on fire I can’t handle this.

These Kevin/Neil feels are ambushing me out of nowhere. I was almost over this dynamic, god damnit. What the fuck.

        “[Jean’s] father owed the Moriyamas a great deal. The master paid those debts in exchange for Jean’s presence on our court. He was property, nothing more. You are the same in their eyes. (…) I know it means he did not hold back.”

Wait – does this mean Jean initially got the same treatment that Neil just had to suffer through?

WELL, FUCK.

Jean Valjean has instantly risen in the ranks of my faves.

SWEET FRENCH SUMMER CHILD. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS WHAT THE FUCK.

No wonder he’s a (seemingly) heartless bitch now. Kill or be killed, I guess.

        “Were you ever going to tell [Coach that he’s your father]?”

        “I was going to when he signed me,” Kevin said. “I couldn’t. (…) [Tetsuji] has never raised a hand or voice against Coach before because Coach has never been a real threat to him. I didn’t know if a confession would change things. I couldn’t risk it.”

Kevin :’( protecting and caring for Wymack :’(( just like Wymack protected and cared for him :’((((((

Before I can get too emotional over this, though, the happy Kevin/Neil Honest Conversation™ is cut short by the arrival of everyone’s favourite murder maniac, minus the meds.

(Back at it again with the alliterations, y’all.)

        If Neil hadn’t known Andrew spent the last year and a half fiercely protective and territorial of Kevin, he’d think they were strangers. Andrew treated Kevin to a bored inspection, then flicked his fingers in dismissal.

Apparently, Andrew is not that different off his meds but continues to be a Stony Sinnamon Roll, Too Indifferent To This World, Too Dead Inside™. Well, bummer.

I don't know what I expected, since we did meet him sober before, but I think I thought when he'd be off his meds permanently he'd be... More? I guess? More of a person, I mean. Less walking void, and all that jazz.

Maybe he'll come around. Give the sinnamon roll some time.

Neil and the squad, finally complete again, drive back to campus, and as they get out we get a glimpse of something amazing we'll have more of later this chapter:

It's prime fucking Andreil time.

        [Neil] straightened and turned to find out Andrew had shifted closer. There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind. They'd been apart for seven weeks but Neil keenly remembered why he'd stayed. He remembered is unyielding, unquestioning weight that could hold him and all of his problems without breaking a sweat. For the first time in months he could finally breathe again. It was such a relief it was frightening; Neil hadn't meant to lean on Andrew so much.

ALL-FUCKING-RIGHT.

Alright alright alright. So NOT ONLY is this gay as shit as it is, and Neil is (whether he realises it or not) super fucking in love by this point, but - "Andrew had shifted closer", bitch, what.

Don't you dare tell me that boy isn't fucking infatuated with our favourite runaway drama queen.

In today's issue of The PSU Andreil Times: Heart-Eyed Little Shit Thinks He's Being Sneaky, Fails Miserably. More news on page 19.

When Neil is done waxing poetic about Andrew's ~strength~ and his ~*~unyiedling body~*~, he goes back to his dorm for part 2 of The Matt Confrontation:

        „Neil? We're here when you want to talk about it.“

        „I know.“

Is that... Neil... close to accepting actual help from outside...

Amazing.

        He knew just from looking at Matt that Matt would accept any truth Neil gave him right now, no matter how cruel or unbelievable. He'd done the right thing by going to Evermore; he was making the right choice in standing his ground here with the Foxes. (…) If [what happened] was the only way to keep his teammates safe from Riko's cruelty, it was an easy price to pay.

Okay ya brb while I drown myself in my own fucking tears.

FOX FAMILY. STOP RUINING MY FEELINGS. I'm supposed to be cool and witty here but I can't even do that because I'm just too emotional over this.

And the fun doesn't stop here, oh no.

Are you guys ready?

I know there are some people fidgeting excitedly in their seats right now because they know what's about to come up – the grand finale to a wonderful third-book-kick-off chapter:

The goddamn rooftop thing.

        Andrew turned to face him. „I'll take an explanation now.“

        „You couldn't ask for answers inside where it's warm?“ Neil asked.

Glad to see that even when faced with his (by now Confirmed™) crush, Neil still doesn't lose his sass.

But of course, Neil is not one to keep secrets from his murder boyfriend, and so he tells him of the Christmas Fuckery – which Andrew is decidedly not fucking liking, because of course Neil left Kevin's side and therefore kind of broke their deal.

Whoops.

        „Why did you go?“

        Neil didn't know if he could say it. Thinking about it was almost too much. Andrew was waiting, though, so Neil choked back his nausea. „Riko said if I didn't, Dr. Proust would-“

        Andrew clapped a hand over his mouth, smothering the rest of his words. (…) „Do not make the mistake of thinking I need your protection.“

Okay, but don't you, though?

Neil says it himself later on, and he's entirely correct: Andrew watches everyone's backs, who's gonna watch his?

He may be an expert in back-watching, but even the most back-watchiest back-watcher in the world can be out-back-watched, my dude. And who's gonna come rescue you then, hm? HMM??

Neil fucking will, of course.

        „The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?“

        „If it means losing you, then no.“

SHIT WHAT.

Since when are our boys so damn open with their love declarations?? This was so outta nowhere?? I'm fcukign?? Having a heart attack??

And following that – of course. The one, the only, the iconic:

        „I hate you,“ Andrew said casually. (…) „You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.“

        „I'm not a hallucination,“ Neil said, nonplussed.

        „You are a pipe dream,“ Andrew said.

BOY.

SHIT.

IM FCIKIGN FUCKKNGING FKUCKKVMFGNICHNNNKNX

The fact that Andrew thought his feelings (THAT ARE NOW CONFIRMED, I REPEAT, CONFIRMED ANDREW FEELINGS FOR NEIL HAVE BEEN SPOTTED) were a temporary thing, unreal, a side effect of being high out of his mind, is just like kind of, casually ruining my life. No biggie.

No fucking biggie.

Andrew quickly realizes he may have admitted too many feelings though, and in a feeble attempt to save his cold front and fragile masculinity, he throws Neil's keys off the roof, because just giving them back to him normally wouldn't have been Manly™ enough.

However Neil, once more, is able to show us that he can give as good as he gets (innuendo absolutely intended):

        Neil wasn't sure why he did it, but he plucked Andrew's cigarette off the sidewalk and stuck it between his lips. He tipped his head back to meet Andrew's unwavering gaze and tapped two fingers to his temple in Andrew's mocking salute. (…) It felt like a win, though Neil wasn't sure why.

Fucking hell.

These two are going to a) improve this last book exponentially and b) absolutely fucking ruin my life.

Nicki out.

As always: If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing fun things for you, please consider buying me a coffee. Every lil bit does absolutely help, getting me through uni and all that jazz. Thanks so much!!

[such-fun]

Fic: Live to Tell [Negan x Reader] Part Five

Title: Live to Tell

Pairing: Negan x Reader          

Summary: You were tasked with scouting out the Sanctuary, but soon your mission starts to spiral out of control.

Tags: @thecynicalnerd, @allinhishands, @toxic-ink, @world-war-crap, @negans-network, @daveed-dikks, jaspers-gembooty, @favoritefanfiction, @stolenxkissess, @brushfirefairytails, @attentionseekingprincess, @deadlywinters, @comeseemycage, @miiraal, @piinkassassin, @ chaoticevilanddowntofuck, @ marvelandgameofthrones, @briannaatkins03, @petlaufeyson, @ravenclawkittyninja, @poseidon29, @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues 

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Five: 

Negan’s posture was relaxed, but his expression was tight and his eyes were blazing with anger. You didn’t dare move from your seat as Sherry took wary steps toward the couches and took a seat nervously on the edge of the cushions next to Negan.

 You would have felt pity for her if you weren’t sure she had just stabbed you in the back.

 Then again, she showed you no loyalty, so you had none for her. If you were going down, you’d be damned if you weren’t going to take her with you.

 “Here I was trying to enjoy dinner before fucking my wife, and she tells me that you’ve been spending your free time sulking around the prisoner’s cells. Imagine my shock,” he put a hand to his chest dramatically, “finding out you’ve been hiding things from yours truly. I thought we were closer than that,” he taunted with a mocking grin. “You’re so goddamn sanctimonious, I never pegged you for a liar. But I’ve got to give you credit, sweetheart. You’re a fucking great liar.”

 “And did your wife tell you why she was also in the cells?” you countered, staring at Sherry as her lips thinned.

 “The lady brings up a good point,” Negan drawled, turning his gaze to Sherry as she sat stone-faced. “What the fuck were you doing there, dear wife?”

 “I—I saw her go inside and wanted to see what she was up to,” Sherry said as she raised her head and glared at you. “You can’t trust anyone nowadays.”

 “Ain’t that the truth,” he snickered as he studied her.

 “And you can’t trust your wife either,” you interrupted, your heart thudding perilously as Negan’s attention turned to you once more. “She was already inside by the time I got there. She probably spent more time talking to Daryl than I did.” Sherry’s hands clenched into fists in her lap.

 “What is it with you women and that fucking redneck?” he snorted.

 “I felt sorry for him,” Sherry admitted reluctantly.

 “Aren’t you a goddamn saint,” he sneered. Negan’s eyes fell on you again. “What’s your excuse?”

 “She said she knew him,” Sherry piped up. You could hardly blame her for her bluntness. You weren’t pulling any punches yourself.

 “Well isn’t that a fucking revelation,” Negan declared, leaning forward in his seat and resting his elbows on his knees, hands a steeple under his chin.

“Two ways this goes, darlin’,” his voice was deeper, darker now, “You tell me the truth and nothing but the truth and you might be able to walk away from this. But if you lie, you can join your little buddy Daryl in the cells, where you’ll wish you were dead. Got it?”

 You nodded sharply.

 “It’s time to come clean,” he ordered, “how do you know that piece of shit?”

 “We used to travel together,” you admitted. You weren’t going to lie to Negan, but you hoped you might be able to get away with a little creative storytelling. “We got separated awhile back. I saw him in the yard a few days ago and I just wanted to know if he was okay.”

 “Isn’t that sweet,” he smiled disingenuously. “Here’s the good news: I know you’re not lying to me. Want to hear the bad news?” You swallowed, anxious and stomach in knots. “You’re not telling me the truth. Just bits and pieces of your story aren’t going to cut it, honey. So why don’t we play a game of good ole fashioned Twenty Questions, hmm?”

 You straightened in your seat and felt your heart drop into your stomach. Evading the truth was simple, it didn’t require any real talent. That’s what you had relied on during your time in the Sanctuary. You didn’t really have to lie if you avoided the subject at all cost. And when you couldn’t avoid, you stuck to the barest detail.

 But Negan wanted to know everything, and you had no way of talking yourself out of this mess. Negan was smart, and too observant. He’d spot an outright lie in a second.

 It’s not the you were afraid of the cells. Well, you were. Anyone sensible person would be. Especially after seeing what they had done to Daryl already. But you were willing to suffer if that meant no one would get hurt. Then again landing yourself in a cell would get a lot of people hurt.  

 Rick and Michonne were relying on you to get a layout of the Sanctuary, to let them know what kind of threat they were truly facing and how to prepare to attack. You had the beginnings of a plan on how to get that information back to Alexandria, but hadn’t had time to enact it yet. You had to find someone trustworthy, someone Negan allowed to leave the compound, someone who could be swayed. But that was easier said than done and you had yet to find that perfect person.

 Not that you would get the chance anymore. No matter what he promised, you knew Negan wasn’t about to just let you walk away free and clear.

 “Question number one,” Negan sat back, clasping his hands across his stomach, “where did you meet Daryl?”

 “Georgia,” you admitted.

 Negan smiled grimly. “See? Now we’re making progress. Question two is a little harder. Where’d you two split up?”

 “Virginia,” you could see Negan was not amused by your vague answers.

 “Specifics, sweetheart,” he sneered. “Tell me…there’s a fucking quaint little town called Alexandria. Full of pretty fucking houses and white picket fences, and run by a guy named Rick the Prick. Heard of it?”

 You tried to remain passive as he described your true home and your friend, but the unearthly tension in your body was likely a dead giveaway.

 Negan leant forward, with a hand to his ear. “Can’t hear you, honey. You need to speak the fuck up.”

 “I—I don’t—,” before you could finish your sentence, Negan turned his glare to Sherry, who remained stiff as a board.

 “Get the fuck out,” he demanded, taking her by surprise. Sherry stood on shaky legs, glancing nervously at you and then back to Negan. He grunted and she took a step toward the door. “Don’t go far,” he warned her. “You and I have a lot to talk about, wife.”

 She didn’t waste time getting out of there, striding with newfound urgency to the door and shutting it firmly behind her. Negan’s weighted gaze turned back toward you.

 “Now I could let you finish your pathetic fucking sentence, but we both know you’d be lying out of your ass,” he dared you to argue. “You know Daryl, you know Rick, and I’d be willing to bet my left nut that you’re from Alexandria. So now you’re going to tell me what your fucking plan was before I lose my goddamn temper.”

 “What’s the point?” you mumbled softly. He raised an eyebrow in response, and you couldn’t tell if he was amused or furious. “I mean, you’re just going to throw me in a cell and torment me until I wish I was dead. That is what you said. And if that’s the case, just get on with it. I’m not telling you anything.”

 “Well look at the man sized balls on you, lady!” he chortled. “I’ve got to give you credit, talking to me like that—it takes guts. Maybe I’ve gone about this all wrong,” Negan mused.

 Standing to his full height, Negan stretched and eyed you in contemplation. With slow, methodical steps he moved behind your chair. You froze as he placed his rough hands on your shoulders.

 “Maybe you’re right,” he considered. “I mean, torturing women isn’t my idea of a good time. At least not outside of the bedroom.” You practically heard him smirk. “But I can’t let you get away with defying me. It can’t happen.”

 There was a long beat of silence and then you felt him give your shoulders a hard squeeze as he propped his elbows up on the back of your chair and brought his mouth teasingly to your ear. “Wait, I know!” he gasped in faux surprise. “I’m not going to torture you at all. But someone’s got to be punished. So I’ll make you a deal. I’m going to go to Alexandria and bash in someone’s head! Lucille is thirsty, honey.”

 Pulling back, Negan sauntered before you, looking far too pleased with himself. “And when one of your little friends is dead, I’ll consider us even. Hell, even if I’m wrong, and I am never wrong, and you aren’t from Alexandria, consider this a lesson in manners. You give me lip and somebody fucking pays.”

 You silently cursed yourself as you felt a tear make its way down your cheek. “Please—”

 “Please what?” he taunted. “Please don’t? Please stop? I appreciate the begging, darling but it ain’t going to change a thing.”

 You couldn’t let anyone die. Not for your pride, and not for your mistake. You had promised Rick and Michonne that you would take care of yourself, but not at the expense of innocent people.

 “Please,” you cleared your throat and hating the watery sound of your voice. “I’ll tell you what you want to know. No one has to die.”

 “That’s mighty big of you,” he scoffed. “But I’ll decide if anyone’s getting their ticket punched.”

 “What do you want?” you shouted in frustration, propelling yourself out of the chair and standing as tall as you could. Even then you were dwarfed by Negan's body. “I’ll tell you whatever you want! I’ll do what you want! Just leave them alone!”

 Negan’s expression was unreadable as he looked down on you. You knew he was probably pissed at your outburst and part of you wanted to shrink away from him. But Negan had told you once before, respect was all that mattered. And he respected when people stood up to him. Even if it did end bloody most of the time.

 “You’ll do what I want,” he repeated, his voice dark and low. His eyes pierced through you and you began to wonder if you had chosen your words too hastily.

 “I’ll make you a deal then, sweetheart,” Negan’s words taking on a dangerous tone. “And listen good, because this is the only fucking offer I’ll make. You want to save the life of one of those fucking pitiful friends of yours?”

 He took deliberate, measured steps toward you until you were craning your neck to maintain eye contact. “Then you sit your ass back down and you tell me everything. I mean your fucking life story if that’s what I want.”

 “I’ll do it,” you rushed to agree and he grinned menacingly in return.

 “Love the enthusiasm,” he chuckled, “but we’re not done. After you’re done spilling your guts, metaphorically speaking, I’ll even let you go to your room and get a nice night’s sleep. And you’ll need it. Because tomorrow’s a big day.”

 “What happens tomorrow?” you asked cautiously.

 “It’s your wedding day,” he smiled, and no matter how handsome he was the sight slightly sickened you.

 “That’s the deal, honey,” he purred. “You give me all of you…and I do mean all of you, and I’ll let your indiscretion slide.” You were still struggling to take in what he said that the feel of his hand brushing your cheek and his thumb resting at the corner of your mouth didn’t really register.

 “So what do you say?” he murmured, sweeping his thumb softly across your bottom lip. “Are you willing to hand yourself over to the big, bad wolf to save a friend?”

 You went to wet your lips nervously and instead your tongue met his thumb, giving the digit a little lick. From the pleased grumble you heard escape him, you knew Negan was enjoying your small misstep.

 Rick and Michonne would kill you. Daryl would kill you. You were never supposed to make the sacrifice play. But life didn’t follow a script, so you just had to improvise.

 “Yes,” you whispered, and you could see Negan’s grin widen.

 “Ain’t this a treat,” he laughed softly, pinching your cheek. His hand skimmed your arm before taking you by the elbow and leading you to the couch.

 “Take a seat, darling,” he gestured toward the sofa and you found yourself numbly falling into the cushions. Negan followed at a more leisurely pace, throwing an arm over your shoulder and bringing you close. He was pleased as punch, while you couldn’t seem to calm your racing heart.

 “Let’s get all this nasty talking business out of the way,” he sighed delightedly. “So we can get to the fun nasty business tomorrow.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 219: Two Good Boys and One Unlucky Broker

Previously on BnHA: Katsuki and Shouto had their licenses for all of 30 minutes (literally) before deciding to put them to the test. But let’s backtrack a bit! It was a beautiful snowy day in December and class 1-A was chilling out and watching the news. We were introduced to a company called Detnerat, and their CEO who’s apparently a big fan of this dead terrorist guy named Destro who wrote a book about quirk supremacy and how people with superpowers need to rise up and liberate themselves and shit. It’s actually really interesting and I can see how these ideas would create a divide within hero society much like Stain’s ideology did. But anyway, so the CEO casually murdered his assistant for mocking these ideas, so that was deeply horrifying. And then he went to meet with some other villains (because yeah! he’s a villain, apparently!) who are apparently descendants of Destro (as is he, I presume), and they talked about how they’re gonna arrange a meetup with the League of Villains so that they can FUCK THEM UP. Plot twist! Anyways and then we cut to some hapless citizens who were being robbed by some banditos, and that’s when Katsuki and Shouto showed up as previously mentioned. So let’s see how this goes!

Today on BnHA: Katsuki and Shouto take on Soda Sam (who I really did think was Aizawa’s old buddy for much longer than I’m proud to admit though), who fights back with some pressurized water jets. All Might saves a stupid Instagram lady and Katsuki saves the both of them, and also recovers everyone’s stolen wallets, because he’s a fucking boy scout now that the provisional course is over. Meanwhile Shouto whips out the ol’ hot+cold power combo of sports festival fame and knocks the villain out. Afterwards the two of them are enthusiastically congratulated by a pro hero called Slidin’ Go (who’s secretly evil, as it turns out, because this is a very strange arc) and hair ruffled by All Might and it’s fucking great you guys. We then cut back to the Detnerat guys, who bring in Giran, a.k.a. the League of Villains’ black market broker who just so happens to have balls of fucking steel. Good thing too, because the DetCEO plans to use him to track down and lure out the League so he can take care of them. Lastly, we cut over to said League, whose members are currently in the process of having their asses handed to them by Gigantomachia and are really not looking too hot, oh dear.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 225 -- I haven’t read 226 yet -- so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so it’s come to this. the Symbol of Peace, reduced to directing traffic

listen kid, you’ll have time for autographs later all right? for now just DO AS THE MAN SAYS

meanwhile Shouto’s being a badass

Bakugou may be out of his element in the cold (and we’ll see if this poses a problem for him--he’s only got one gauntlet on top of that), but this lil lukewarm lad is fine and dandy

loooooll

you tell ‘em Shouto. that’s some nice property damage there son. I hope Katsuki tries to keep his own quirk contained, the last thing we need is you guys getting billed Mt. Lady style for destroying fucking main street here all of 25 minutes after getting those licenses laminated

(ETA: I guess he didn’t actually do any lasting damage though? hopefully nothing got flood damaged when he melted all of that afterwards.)

the title of the chapter is “go! sliding go!” which sounds like fun. sounds like more icy goodness

(ETA: why did they name this chapter after the weirdly unsettling and secretly evil THE FULLLLLL BULLPENNN hero, though?? my working theory is that it was Horikoshi’s way of ensuring we wouldn’t just immediately forget he existed so that we could be properly surprised when he returned a few chapters later.)

anyway so Aizawa’s cloudy friend is shaking off the ice, and now he’s chewing the boys out for fucking up his big purse-snatching operation

all that for a handful of wallets?? seriously??

LMAO

I don’t know if it’s that I’m becoming more like him, or if he’s just becoming more like me. but either way Katsuki you gotta get out of my head there kiddo, I’m starting to worry here

by the way is it just me or is he actually higher up than he was just a few seconds ago. are you actually climbing this thing. drunk on adrenaline or what

anyway so Kumo, who may or may not actually be him but we’re just assuming for now, is explaining that he controls carbonated water and he lives for thrills. his words. not mine

okay first of all, no you don’t. fucking no one in this series has more resolve than that lil monkey slowly inching his way up towards that traffic light there

and second, you spent a whole goddamn month planning a purse heist. where the fuck did you get these airs you’re putting on dude

wow you guys

I feel like we should be placing bets not on whether Baku and Todo will win, but on how long it’ll actually take them. I’m thinking not very fucking long

(ETA: this whole thing is wrapped up within ten pages. I could have literally have been present on the scene, said to myself “my what a lovely snowy day, I think I’ll go buy myself some hot chocolate,” ducked into the Starbucks on the corner, and it would have all been over by the time I stepped back out. “you missed it!!” shouts the excited ‘it’s All Might’ kid from page one. “there was ice and explosions and this stupid lady almost got All Might crushed with a pole!”)

MY DUDES WHAT IS THIS??

SIX IN ONE GO. THIS HIGH SCHOOLER IS THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO I’LL HAVE YOU SUCKERS KNOW

AHHAHAHAHAHA

I’M LOVING IT. I’M LOVING THIS. FUCK ‘EM UPPPPP KATSUKI

WHERE’S THAT RESOLVE OF YOURS NOWWWWW

holy shit. it occurs to me that this is only the third time in the series we’ve actually seen him fight real villains. and the second time was at Kamino, and he was pretty much just on the defensive there and trying to keep them all at a distance, so it’s debatable whether or not that really counts. so basically this is the first time since USJ that he’s gotten to just let loose against a bunch of mooks. and I’ve only just realized how much I wanted this omg

apparently he wanted it too lol. also I’m surprised and extremely impressed that he can control his trajectory that well with only one arm. gives me hope that Shouto’ll be going airborne like his pop any day now

anyway so Kumo? is fighting back though

watch out Katsuki he’s got seltzer and he’s not afraid to use it

okay but damn though

is this fucking seltzer water slicing through this metal lamp post??

I just took a brief break from reading this chapter to go look up “water saw” videos on YouTube to try and get an idea of what exactly we may be dealing with there. and well, I found this. so uh. depends on what kind of firepower that thing on his arm is packing I guess. but he might be more trouble than I anticipated

meanwhile!

ALL MIGHT LET HER GO IT’S NATURAL SELECTION

FUCK

IF THIS STUPID LADY GETS ALL MIGHT KILLED IN FRONT OF THESE TWO BOYS WHO WERE SO GUNG-HO ABOUT FINALLY GETTING THEIR LICENSES, SHE BETTER PRAY THE GATES OF HELL CAN PROTECT HER BECAUSE I’M GONNA GET ME SOME FUCKING BOLT CUTTERS AND FOLLOW HER DOWN THERE MARK MY WORDS

OH THANK GOD

oh my goddddd

first of all, whew. and second of all I’m so glad Horikoshi let him have that moment, rather than Shouto. just in case there were any lingering haters out there thinking his heart still wasn’t in the right place and that the only reason he was all TEAM RESCUE, BITCHES in the previous arc was because he wanted to win

and I mean, he did, obviously. but IT CAN BE TWO THINGS, and now we have a nice little moment here with him rescuing his dad (whose body moved before he could think, AS USUAL) and this stupid lady who put her Instagram above her own fucking life

meanwhile

okay Shouto you have my permission to kick his ass

yeah go ahead and fuck him up

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

PETITION TO PUT SHOUTO IN “GUESS I’VE GOT NO CHOICE” SITUATIONS MORE OFTEN

wow not!Kumo, he is literally the worst possible opponent you could have had huh. sucks to be you

lol Katsuki’s mad that Shouto got to be a badass

they’re getting along so well now. Shouto completely knows how to handle him, he’s like a Kirishima 2.0. he just completely ignores the fact that Katsuki is shrieking insults, and responds as though the questions were phrased normally

and Katsuki actually answers him despite everything. I know it’s crazy, but this is seriously progress

now Dad is running over to make sure they’re okay

“oh, All Might. didn’t see you there. we were just out here being heroic heroes. [stretches casually; yawns] all in a day’s work”

at least he didn’t reference his kidnapping! Kacchan’s protesting but really that’s the best he could have hoped for

so the dude’s asking if they did all of this and uh, yeah. who do think they are, amateurs? I’ll have you know they have provisional licenses, sir

did this motherfucker just pull 13 fucking wallets out of fucking hammerspace to hand over. Link?? is that you??

holy shit. is that why your pants were always so baggy?? WERE YOU JUST BEING PREPARED THIS WHOLE TIME

so not only did Katsuki not destroy so much as an inch of public property (aside from the pole which was already destroyed), he even had the forethought to rescue everyone’s wallets and hand them over to the authorities like the good law-abiding citizen he is

where the fuck is Gang Orca, I need to send that man a fucking fruit bouquet or something

oh my

new favorite panel alert

so this guy, whose name is apparently Sliding Go, says he’ll take care of the rest. okay. thanks man

meanwhile definitely!not!Kumo!mybad!sometimesI’mwrong’s little jet nozzle gauntlets are... exploding??

Detnerat? possibly??

good eye there Sherlock

so I wonder if they got them from Detnerat or from that black market guy the League’s associated with... Giran? I think is his name??

oh shit!!!

new new favorite panel alert

love how Shouto seems shocked at the unexpected gesture of fatherly affection (which hurts my heart. hey All Might you got room for a third son there), whereas Bakugou is just accepting it and probably even knew it was coming and is just trying to keep his cool and trying to calculate how long he can stand there basking in All Might’s pride before it starts to look like he’s actually enjoying it

sdflkjasldkj

SWEETHEART USE YOUR WORDS

Shoutooooooooo. ;_; that little smile is killing me, I’m melting. once the initial surprise wore off he was so happy. look at him shyly fumbling with his tie oh my baby I love you so much

oh to be a fly on the wall of that taxi cab. watching the two of them sit in the backseat as far away from each other as possible and looking out the window and being so pleased with themselves after all their hard work finally paid off. and meanwhile All Might in the front seat next to the driver, peeking at them in the rearview mirror and smiling softly

also fly!me would definitely try to sneak a peek at Katsuki’s fucking hero license because HORIKOSHI COME THE FUCK ON ALREADY WHY IS IT ALWAYS SECRET AFTER FUCKING SECRET

and I guess that’s that! a very satisfying fight that lasted all of 10 pages but had several cool moves, an opponent with a cool quirk, and several character development moments! that’s how it’s done! god this series has been fucking killing it lately I swear. I hope I’m not jinxing it but this is some good shit. the artwork and pacing are great, I’m liking the new plot so far... just, keep it up, Horikoshi, please

(ETA: for real though he is crushing it)

so now we’re cutting back to the ol’ villain corporate office in Gotham City or wherever

ah, so it was Detnerat!

well I can’t say this is a huge surprise. I imagine the villain market was too tempting to pass up

!!!

I swear to god this had better be more entertaining than the last League of Villains team-up

so now this dude with the shiniest, most luxurious hair I’ve ever seen is explaining that he worked fast because DetCEO told him “do so at once” and his words are the words of Destro

damn so there’s a pretty clear hierarchy here huh

OH SHIT

THAT’S FUCKING GIRAN. THAT’S THE DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO HIM?? FIRST A MURDER IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AND NOW THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS’ FAVORITE BROKER IS GETTING FUCKING TORTURED BY CORPORATE THUGS, WHAT THE FUCK. ARE WE IN FOR ANOTHER HARDCORE ARC

(ETA: indeed we are, but this one is so much better though.)

careful, he’s sensitive and clearly not afraid to kill a bitch for less than that, Giran

!!

“the old man”?? is he talking about DetCEO’s father? or his? surely he’s not talking about AFO?

so now President Why So Serious is asking him how much he wants

and Giran is all “I happen to be picky about who I do business with, and since you all just kidnapped and beat the shit out of me, I’m inclined to say ‘no’ here”

(ETA: Giran is a stand up guy and it cost him a fucking hand. well that’s the risk you run when you work in the criminal underworld I guess.)

holy shit Giran

RIP Giran 2015-2019

but damn though, I gotta hand it to the guy, he’s got a bigger pair than I ever expected

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay so I’m just gonna post the whole page and break it down

GIRAN IS FUCKED. THIS GUY IS A MANIAC AND HE’S LEGIT GONNA TORTURE THE INFO OUT OF HIM HOLY SHIT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AGAIN

GIGANTOMACHIA IS FUCKING INSANE

AND HOW DID HE GET SO BIG

AND IS COMPRESS FUCKING DEAD. AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEST VILLAIN GIRL TOGA OMG

SPINNER IF THERE WAS EVER A TIME TO REVEAL YOUR QUIRK AND HAVE IT TURN OUT TO BE REALLY BADASS IT’S NOW BUDDY

DABI AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU WERE OUT PLANNING NOUMU SHIT WITH HAWKS AND NOT DEALING WITH THIS UTTER SHITSHOW

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES TOMURA LOOK A LITTLE BUFFER THAN BEFORE? YOU BEEN LIFTING BRO

HOW AND WHY DID THEY GET TO THESE CLIFFS IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, GIGANTO YOU’D BETTER WATCH IT, BECAUSE TOMURA MORE THAN LIKELY IS TRYING TO THINK OF A WAY TO BEAT YOU WITHOUT KILLING YOU, BUT IF HE DOES DECIDE HE WANTS TO KILL YOU, YOU’LL BE PRETTY HARD-PRESSED TO STOP HIM DUDE

oh my god. this is three awesome chapters in a row now. BnHA is killing it, seriously

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 50-54

Apologies to anyone actually reading these for the wait! I wasn’t able to make any headway over the holiday, and then I was finishing up and posting Whitespine Caged, so this last week didn’t see any progress either!

But, here you go, the next chunk. And if by chance there are people reading these, is there anything you’d like to see me doing differently in these liveblogs?

Chapter Fifty – Shash Thirty-Seven

'Obrodai'? Where and what is Obrodai. Is that the place in the sea, whichever sea that may be?

'new avatar' wh a t

'she has been instilled with an intense and overpowering dislike of you' how the hell did you piss these people off that badly, Hoid

WHOOO FLYING WITH KALADIN. But Dalinar is. not thrilled. Understandable, considering the circumstances of his previous 'flight'. But it seems he's not the greatest fan of heights, either. Heh.

“Men are not of the waves.” Tell that to the Thaylens and Reshi. I guarantee you'll get a rude gesture.

Huh. I wonder what purpose the 'domes' that the warcamps previously were served. Shelter? Granaries? Were they used by the humans or the Parshendi?

Everyone has Crazy Hair but what do you bet that Kaladin's is somehow still perfect and luxurious. Syl must protect it somehow.

Oh thank the Heralds you're at least still thinking about the logistics of feeding Urithiru while still keeping in mind the limited supply of gemhearts and possible extinction of the chasmfiends.

Well, at least there's one person who's got some Air in them. Dalinar, not so much.

Looks like it took Aharietiam alone, and Fen finally accepts. That one is a doozy. But at least Dalinar finally has one of the other rulers willing to listen! I thought it'd be Gawx, since he has Lift with him, but nope, I was wrong.

Lost in your own warcamp, Dalinar, come on! At least you'll make it easy for Kadash to find you.

[hums] So your Calling was… leading your armies? I can't remember if this was discussed in TWoK or if that was just a mention of your devotary. Either way, it's what you're good at, certainly.

“What else were important lighteyed families going to do with unmotivated children?” Well heaven forbid they actually find what they enjoy doing later in their lives.

Yes yes you need to find Taln, he's the only Herald that you more or less know is a Herald at this point. You're still not going to convince the ardents anytime soon, though

Yeaaaah. They're all wondering if the de facto leader of Alethkar has really gone crazy and denounced the roots of Vorinism or not. It's a bit of a big deal, Dalinar.

Awww, Kadash, you waited as long as you could so you could argue Dalinar's side! Even though you don't believe him! That's loyalty, right there.

[winces] For all Roshar's fairly decent medical knowledge, your planet doesn't have the greatest mental health approaches, Dalinar. That's probably intentional too.

Huh. 'Not ready' for Tension yet – does that mean Stormfather wants you to say another Ideal, or just practice more? As usual, he's maddeningly unspecific in that regard.

A poison dart, though it wasn't to be used on Taln. But you wouldn't know that it was Amaram who cut him out of the cell, or that it was his life the attempt was made on.

Where is Amaram keeping Taln?

Yesssss, KALADIN FLYING TO THAYLENAH SOON. I'm all for both more Kaladin and more Queen Fen.

Chapter Fifty-One – Full Circle

“overcome the tests we have created” yes go let's do it BRING IT, WHOEVER YOU ARE

Considering that the last human they trusted got them pulling this sledge (through sheer association and nothing else), it's entirely understandable that they're standoffish to Moash. Not quite what he's thinking they're thinking, but still.

Further details on the agriculture! Excellent. Giant storm-breaks make sense if you're going to try and keep a land of cultivated food safe from the highstorms and have it be big enough to help feed an entire city.

At least two kinds of Fused then, and for some reason their Investiture isn't running out. How and why.

Impressed? Oh ho, the voidspen/ancient Parshendi in the Fused don't recognise this kind of ingenuity and technology from humans of the past, do they? Four and a half thousand years has given humanity time to advance  - that's one advantage that's going to help them dearly in this Desolation.

HEH. They haven't seen anyone even dare to resist the Fused yet, save Kaladin fleeing, and that's an entirely different matter. Killing one? They probably haven't even considered the possibility.

Yeaaaah, the situation in Kholinar is fucked

'the Fallen Tower'. Is that foreshadowing. That'd better not be foreshadowing, Brando.

….I can't blame him for laughing his ass off. How ironic.

Oh, switching POVs in the middle of a chapter, and to Shallan? Huh. I wonder how important that transition is.

Ooo, at least we're getting more info on Ishnah. I like her so far. Ambitious! Brave! Intelligent! Shallan needs someone to step on her toes a bit.

Oh, interesting. Illusions powered by the stormlight in spheres that she can then leave behind! Anywhere! She can make an illusion of herself in her rooms if she needs an alibi for 'Shallan', or create a stable diversion. ….well, and the maps too. Yeah. Nice.

I can't help but snigger when I read 'my royal person.' Elhokar, really. Really. Dude.

Mmm, going straight to Elhokar to get out from under Jasnah's eye. She does have a point, it'll be better if you have someone who can disguise the more… noticeable personages among you, and doubly so someone who's more used to sneaking around than all of you. Even better if she can lightweave herself or Kaladin into looking like a Parshman and getting even a few precious seconds of advance on the Oathgate if it's guarded.

All the effort spent to get away from Jasnah, when you spent so much trying to get close to her in the first place…

[hums]

Chapter Fifty-Two – After His Father

MORE FLASHBACKS YESGOOD

is the title referencing Adolin or Renarin though – or are we going to get to know anything about Dalinar's parents for once?

…..have you been away from your wife and kid for four years straight, Dalinar. Maybe short visits back, sure, but. Damn.

You're about to pass out on your feet, though. Trying to do the work of the entire army by yourself?

“This is now my audience tent. Take what is absolutely essential and leave me.” [SNORTS] I WAS RIGHT

Two thousand losses to two hundred. You were doing an army's worth of fighting, Dalinar, and your soldiers certainly weren't slacking either. Fuck. Well, at least you're finally learning to go to and even run briefings and take on strategy rather than just charging in headlong. You're actually learning to lead.

Aaaaaaand you're still addicted to the Thrill.

EVI EVI EVI HIIIIIIII

You're yelling at her Dalinar? I know you've had a long day but that is uncalled for and you even frightened her. Back the fuck up.

It's like you don't even want to see your family. Ordering Evi around? And she cringes? And you've never even seen Renarin? Where is any sign of that tenderness you felt for Evi, the exultation on seeing your child? There's no sign of it in this man you are right now.

….I actually rather like Renarin's name, no matter Dalinar's groaning. It's a part of all of them – mother, father, brother – to carry with him, and the meaning suits him well. Unique unto himself, our fierce, brave Renarin.

You didn't even respond to a spanreed call to name your son. Goddamn, Dalinar.

At least Evi apparently has Navani and Ialai supporting her – and hopefully her brother as well, though we still know next to nothing about Toh. Dalinar's certainly not being anything but a shit husband.

She still wants to be around you even though you're a complete ass, Dalinar; be grateful.

Compassionate and merciful. It's good that she's the one with the most influence on Adolin during these early years.

SPEAKING OF WHOM. MY HEART JUST GREW THREE SIZES.

No fear of heights for this Kholin, it seems.

[wibbles over the thought of bitty little Adolin assembling his 'armor' (yes! let that creativity shine!)] but oh man, I'm torn over him going up and saluting Dalinar as a greeting – one, that's adorable, but also he's only four and a half and thinks that that's the best way to greet his father. That's… terribly painful.

And he's afraid of you too.

Fuck.

!!!! BITTY RENARIN. Who's contentedly playing by himself, not walking as much as expected, and very quiet. At least it seems like your mother and brother are doing right by you, because I'm not sure this version of Dalinar would right now. He can't even call up emotion.

Little four-year-old-Adolin already is determined to win a Blade and refuses his father's offer to do it for him. Why am I not surprised.

(these glyphs on the endpage are gorgeous)

Chapter Fifty-Three – Such A Twisted Cut

New letter? New letter! But written from who to whom? (Though by this point we can probably assume that Hoid's the party receiving the letter.)

Jasnah chapter~ All this interest in this specific king in history due to the shortness of his reign - did he accomplish something great (or terrible) or die under mysterious circumstances? (Possibly Skybreaker circumstances….?)

….this guy had family issues. And was apparently psychotic. He cooked the meat for his feast over the funeral pyre of his executed family members? Dude.

Karma got him in the end. Though I wonder, with the way Jasnah's focusing on this story, if the Unmade might have something to do with him...

You have to give Renarin time to gather that courage and decide though, Jasnah. Let him take his life at his own pace.

Wait, is Jasnah not in on the plan to fix that very problem by making Dalinar a Highking? You think they'd've mentioned that to her at the very least once she got to Urithiru.

Time for a spanreed teleconference! And I immediately love Jochi. An old baker who writes under a lady's penname as a philosopher and isn't afraid to make pastry talk to lighten the atmosphere? B l e s s

Nale! And Axies! We'd better see both of you in this book, and hopefully soon.

Of course you misplaced Lift. You never had a hold on her in the first place.

!!!! Wait where did you get drawings of the Heralds. Was it while you were in Shadesmar. Jasnah, or were you able to see more than just Jezrien while you were in the vision Dalinar provided?

-wait, what, wedding preparations, wh a t-

Renarin, are you talking to Glys? Are we finally going to meet him soon? And what do you sense in this room…?

Ahhh, so Navani's the one pushing for a ceremony soon, probably for stability for her own family and Alethkar if nothing else

Fuuuuuuucking Amaram. Of course you couldn't stay away from the main crew for too long.

Jasnah, and here I thought you'd just spoken with Shallan not too many chapters ago about threats/insults. (WR E C K HIM JASNAH)

Ooo, you're trying to be a manipulative little motherfucker, you poxed eel. Fuck off.

Her snappy dismissiveness is brightening my entire night. I should make popcorn for this scene.

Amaram grabbing her arm is making me bristle. I can only imagine that she's standing as primly as a queen, glancing down at his hand like it's windblown trash that happened to land on her.

J a s nah, that was brutal. And not what I expected from you, going after his mother like that (not that he doesn't deserve all the insults. Because he does. But maybe she doesn't.)

Holy sheeeeyit

OH SHIT, ROAST HIM

OH YEAH. COME ON. COME ON AMARAM I DARE YOU JUST TRY IT AND YOU'RE ONLY GONNA BE SO MUCH SMOKE ON THE WIND

best show the scholars have seen all week

...I don't think there's going to be any option that keeps Amaram “””safely occupied”””. Just a hunch. Jasnah's probably going to have to use that 'pays-assassins-well-and-discreetly' option.

We are all Shallan in this moment.

(thus begins the lessons on how to properly insult someone down to a quivering puddle)

Shallan, you haven't been getting any reading done – not that yout Veil-work isn't important, but you're not going to be able to keep this facade up forever.

Oooo, and here's the lie/excuse. Mind, it's a good one, but what will Jasnah-

What's Renarin doing.

SECRET BUTTONS SECRET BUTTONS IN THE LIBRARY

And they were hiding encoded gemstones! Ooo, I wonder if it was the Truthwatchers that did it, 'foreseeing' that they'd need some way of ensuring that their information would need to last longer than any books they had at the time? (and maybe hinting as to why Renarin was the one to sense them there) Ingenious setup though.

Chapter Fifty-Four – An Ancient Singer's Name

….is the writer of this pre-chapter letter Sazed/Harmony. It sounds like the cadence of his writing, and that 'before attaining my current station' with obvious reference to the writer being a 'deity' right after…

Another Moash chapter. [sighs] And the first thing he notes is how much better he has it here than in Sadeas' camp, relatively, and then once again convince himself that it wasn't his fault.

It's a stark difference from how the protagonist side of the book is handling things (mostly).

!!!! Another Fused type, this one able to manipulate the shape of its carapace! But is the shifting into whatever they can imagine, or only certain shapes?

Strike Team Kholin had better get to Kholinar and open the Oathgate quickly, otherwise the Fused/Parshmen armies will be able to overrun them through sheer force of numbers, assuming that the city is only sparsely defended at the moment, what with all the armies off in Urithiru.

[snorts] Of course you have a reputation. You don't punch people out and then start siding with the only group of Parshman slaves without the story getting around.

...there's probably more crazy Fused than sane ones, Moash, considering what they are.

Voidlight? Is that what we're calling it now?

Add another count to the Alethi who are not about this 'heights' thing.

Admittedly, the robes of the flying Fused do sound quite lovely and very impressive. Someone knows how to dress their people to make a statement.

The windspren – and all the other spren – are probably all avoiding anything that senses of Odium like the plague.

“Do you know that it is one of our names?” Oooooo. Of course you'd get borrowed words in the language, especially over the time that Listeners/Parshendi and humans have interacted, but Sanderson doesn't name without reason. Handful of spheres says that this is another indication that Moash sides with the Fused/Parshmen in the end.

Okay, so the Fused still call their 'surges' Surges, but we're not entirely certain that they're the same as those the Radiants have. They're definitely powered in a different manner, but they could have further differences that separate the powersets – the ways they can use them and even how they combine, maybe.

OOP, THIS IS THE SPREN-SHENDI OF THE ONE YOU KILLED ON THE PLAINS. If she wanted you dead she'd have killed you already, Moash, so calm ur tits.

“Those who fall will be sung of, but their blood is ours to demand.” Yeah you give zero fucks about the Parshmen and Parshendi of this time. Does the one who was sacrificed to you still scream inside her own head?

It's like Solas and the Yeerks all rolled into one big, steaming pile of Do Not Want.

Aaaaaaand she's telling Moash of their reasons for fighting. Yep, he's as good as Odium-bound.

Oh ho, she gave him his freedom – and I'm betting responsibility to go along with it. ….or not. But she gave him a question, and he's choosing responsibility for himself. Ironic, when he chooses not to accept that of his previous actions.