#godfrey industries

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

Things Hriob is No Longer Allowed to Do, Revised Edition - Part Trois

#81 Yes, exercise nuts often invent new fads to sell shit to the unknowing masses trying to ‘get in shape’. No, I am not allowed to market a new “Diogenes Workout” involving rock climbing using only a cauldron and a sledgehammer. Not even if I demonstrate how ‘easy’ it is.

#82 Yes, Sparring is a fun way to get a full-body exercise so long as I have a designated partner and don’t get carried away. No, asking bargoers random thugs and mercenaries Pirates with serious anger issues anyone ‘Hey, you want to Fight?’ is NOT sparring and I am not allowed to do this anymore.

#83 I am forever forbidden from ‘Saving Christmas’, even ESPECIALLY if I was the one who put it in Jeopardy in the first place.

#84 I am not to confuse ‘Spreading Christmas Cheer’ with ‘Getting the masses intoxicated with my Eggnog Special’. There’s more to the Spirit of the Holidays than Spirits, Hriob, you should know this already.

#85 Just to be safe, to build upon the prior two rulings (#83 and #84), I cannot ‘Save’ Hanukkah Kwanzaa Thanksgiving Halloween Easter Ramadan St. Patrick’s Day Valentine’s Day ANY remotely ‘major’ Holiday regardless of whether or not it has anything to do with any given religion.

#86 I can be ‘Santa’ for Christmas, or I can be ‘Krampus’. Both have ups and downs, but I will remember to pick ONE and stick with it per christmas season, for my own sake as much as everyone else’s.

#87 Regardless of whether or not I have the powers of Bardic Magic on my side or not, I will refrain from abusing this power to turn deadly battles villainous monologues do-or-die moments training sessions ANY moment that isn’t already filled with unusual amounts of song into quaint musical numbers. Yes, even if the children love it when I do that.

#88 I am not a cherub, and even if I’m not too shabby with a bow when the time calls for it, I am not allowed to claim that I can make people fall in love by shooting them with arrows splashing them with potions showering them with chocolate serenading them getting them drunk enough holding them at knife-point locking them in a small room together ANY means - and I am forever forbidden from trying to prove that I can.

#89 The power to ‘bring snowmen to life’ is not a Right, it is a Privilege. The moment I abuse this power for ANY reason is the moment I am forever banned from making ‘Atronachs’ of ANY material, period.

#90 Even if I know any personifications of the Seasons personally, I am not allowed to bribe threaten trick coerce seduce gamble use ANY means to adjust when one season ends and another begins, be it for my own benefit or ‘shits and giggles’.

#91 Reddish hair or not, Inconceivable Alcohol Immunity or not, Strange Luck or not, I am NOT Irish, but Czech-German, and I am not allowed to let others confuse that issue.

#92 In accordance with the prior rule, this means I am not allowed to celebrate St. Patty’s Day unsupervised, nor am I allowed to encourage people to ‘Kiss me’ under the pretense that ‘I’m Irish’. It's bad enough I have too many people who’d do it anyways, they don’t need further incentive.

#93 As a self-employed Entrepreneur and Craft Brewer, I understand the importance of self-promotion and advertisement. Making careful deals with bar owners and handing out Business Cards is a step in the right direction - Going door-to-door with a red wagon and trying to use arguably cute animal familiars random woodland creatures glamours girl scouts boy scouts random children important children puppies kittens baby seals ANY variation of ‘little helpers’’ to make sales is right out.

#94 Many restaurants and food vendors enjoy using the concept of ‘Free Samples’ to sell their products. As an Alchemic Craft-Brewer, I am to remind myself that, no, this is NOT a valid method of advertising for my wares, with all but a few NO exceptions.

#95 As I grow more talented with Life magic, alchemy, and gain access to individuals with greater talents in those fields than myself, I am to be reminded that I will not create/pester others to help create a ‘Molotov Cockatiel’ to use as a familiar pet prank biological warfare agent FOR ANY REASON.

#96 The ‘tomato allegory’ is a good way to demonstrate examples of Wisdom versus Intelligence, as well as other ‘DnD stats’ in a real-world context. I am NOT to try and actually act out parts of the allegory, or try to make my own ‘better’ one using beer vodka hamsters zombies drunk zombie hamsters ANYTHING ELSE, “just because” - no matter HOW ‘educational’ it may or may not be.

#97 I am not allowed to stress-test Bowling Lanes or Equipment by “playing as hard good fun as I can”.

#98 I am not allowed to help Jacob in any variety of smithy, workshop, metalworking, or engineering project without additional adult supervision. Let the Coilgun-powered Hammer be the last Scientific Monstrosity I help bring into the world.

#99 When building massive projects involving Gingerbread buildings ‘To Scale’, I will remember to make sure that the Runic Protections prevent anything breaking, sagging, dirtying or making any part of it inedible, and also remember that the Load-bearing structures are kept far away from hungry guests whenever possible.

#100 Just because I have a Ring of Sands that gives me an extra casting focus for my magics, attuned to both Wind and Earth elements as well as the Concept of Sand itself, does Not make me ‘The Sand Guardian, Guardian of the Sands’, and neither does it give me any reason, excuse, legitimacy, or ability to tease, torment, or banish The Master beyond what I already can do in any way not already defined by the pertinent ‘unspoken agreement’ - even especially in light of the fact he’s already broken it.

#101 Yes, I am a Lord of the Fae, and can use my power to command certain kinds of ‘Lesser’ Fairies, including Pixies. Yes, Pixies are for all intents and purposes magical glowing balls of flying teeth and mischief with a taste for human flesh. No, I am NOT allowed to ‘summon’ them by quoting the Wicked Witch of the West and/or weaponizing massive swarms of pixies as a substitute for flying Piranha Unless I really want to Excepting truly Dire Circumstances by my reckoning as defined by a rational, responsible adult that is not myself.

#102 Upon further revision and consideration, the above rule (#101) is to be applied to any and all flying creatures, contraptions, and/or weapons, magical or otherwise, again excluding Emergency Use as defined by an independent observer. Projectiles of any kind, guided or not, are to be used carefully, not liberally.

#103 If against all odds and attempts to avoid combating a so-called God or Deity fail, and violence becomes necessary to defend myself or others, should I be given the chance to attack them with something resembling a symbol of their office, I am to remind myself of two things first:

A) If it is a symbol of their office, they most likely have high resistance to it, if not power over it, and I ought to consider other options B) I am not allowed to chant ‘Stop Hitting Yourself’ if I proceed to attack them with said symbol regardless of the above step.

#104 I may be immune to Nightwood poison powder, but that does not allow me to ‘create a new version of the cinnamon challenge’ using it instead of a generic spice, nor use it for any other purposes beyond careful poison applications. And even if that does include toxic smoke bombs, I will NOT refer to them as ‘vanishing powder bombs’.

#105 I am not allowed to apply to break into enchant curse be within a seven mile radius of interact with any ‘Bed Bath and Beyond’ with the intention of “revamping their ‘Beyond’ section to comply with the Better Business Bureau’s advertising standards.”

#106 I am not allowed to break into buy the entire stock of in any way acquire any amount of scented candles beyond ‘2’, even especially with the intention of creating a ‘Scented Wax Antronach’.

#107 Just because my blood probably should be a controlled substance in at least 39 states by this point, doesn’t mean I should brag about it. If anything, the less any given national government knows about me, the better.

#108 The above ruling (#107) is to be extended hereafter to all other bodily fluids, samples, and secretions of my physical form, including Lymph, Sweat, Bones, Mucus, Semen, Ligaments, Major Organs, Minor Organs, Imaginary Organs, anything and everything off my person.

#109 No longer allowed to avoid paperwork with the O.A.B. by just claiming “the Dog ate it”- Gurrel has enough on his plate without being made into a scapegoat. In addition, despite how much more likely it actually is, claiming ‘the Moose ate it’ is not acceptable either.

#110 Not allowed to look into body modifications - magical or otherwise - until I have been given a clean bill of health by a licensed therapist in regards to any potential body-image issues second opinion from a responsible adult that doesn’t veto my idea… and the moment I decide I want to ‘show them my junk and hope they can work their magic’ is the moment I am forbidden from getting any mods regardless.

#111 If given the option, I will Not use my powers of Lightning and/or Space-Time Magic to pull ‘random’ objects towards my person. It never ends well.

#112 I will remember why I practiced the Prestidigitation spells until they were second nature, and only use them for protection against theft and utility beyond the need for physical pockets - I will NOT abuse the powers to pick-pocket or ‘reverse’-pick-pocket others.

#113 In regards to rulings #107 and #108, I am not allowed to give my blood the ‘Dracula Seal of Approval’ regardless of the veracity of said claims.

#113 I may or may not be on the hunt for a ‘Mr. Hyde’ for peacekeeping and security reasons, and in order to negate and minimize any further psychological trauma to those around him. However, this is no excuse to psychologically torment said individual by replacing his surroundings with oranges, trapping him in tanning salons for weeks at a time, or any other long-term psychological warfare against him. As fun and/or cathartic as it may be, I should use the resources at my disposal far more tactically and efficiently This is why Billiam Cypher has been recruited to my cause and I should not deny him the opportunity to do the jobs I assigned to him.

#115 I am to extend ruling #79 concerning Fergus O’Dwyer to both Igor Van Lichtenstein and Billiam Cypher as well, without further context or clarification, as none should be required.

#116 “What Happens in Atlantis, Stays in Atlantis”, is not, has never been, nor will ever become a valid legal defense. The same is true substituting for “Pompeii”.

#117 Just because I met Gilgamesh in a past life (As Humbaba) and was subsequently killed by him and his best friend does not mean I get to claim he owes me money reparations a solid anything.

#118 Just because I met Odin and Fenrir in a past life (As Gammal vän Kunskap) does not mean I get to wear T-shirts that read “I helped save the world from Ragnarok and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt” or anything to that effect.

#119 I know I hate spandex and think it is uncomfortable, impractical, and generally a stupid thing to wear. That is no excuse for chastising the fashion senses of ‘superheroes’ and ‘supervillains’ I come across even if they clearly need the help for any reason.

#120 Yes, I know Mixed Martial Arts championships exist that incorporate Medieval European Weapons and Armor in the ring. No, I am not allowed to compete given my dozens of unfair advantages - if tempted to do so anyways I am to chant to myself the words ‘we have weapons and armor sparring at home’ until the urges subside.

[b4dposture]

Bill during an interview - circa 2013, regarding his portrayal of Roman Godfrey in Hemlock Grove

[elementalnight-archived]

@godfrey-industries has started following!

It appears to be a library of sorts - dimly illuminated by strange lanterns and floating candles.

No, it wasn't light that emanated from them - but rather an absence of darkness.

The shelves are packed with books, scrolls, and artifacts - and made of a strange blue-green material. The walls and floors are made of a dark stone.

But the silence is interrupted by a shriek - from some black-robed figure that had rounded the corner. "There's someone in the Archives!"

[danton-brothers]

Yarbert is just going to sneak up on Edward annnnnnnnnd get him into a headlock!

“GODS!” he screams in surprise as Someone puts him in a headlock from behind. reflexively he swings his elbow back to jab whoever it was in the side, then grip the belt of the man and the collar of his shirt with his other hand to swing him overhead onto the ground in front of him. ”Who tha fuck- Yarbert?!”

[friendsamongstars]

“Regardless of who you’re raised by, you WILL imprint and mimic someone you look up to or find fitting. Whatever environment you grow up in, you will still do things you’ve witnessed others do.”

He sounded very smug about this, because he knows he’s right.

[raichoose-gone]

Wall Of Text

ASUREI WILL ASURISE. KAWOSHIN WILL KAWOSHINE.

{ @godfrey-industries​ }

[saotome-michi]

Seeing all the evidence coming out about how cruelly the Voice of China producers treated Coco has been crazy and upsetting. Even more so because of how Zhejiang Television has a history of abusing people: the celebrities who appear on their shows and their lower level employees. The show that Godfrey Gao died on was also Zhejiang Television. I hope Coco's soul has gone to a happier place and that the people involved in her mistreatment really face some repercussions for this.

[spxcemuses]

@godfrey-industries​ from HERE.

He opens his mouth agape- if only for a moment- at the other’s blasphemous statement. Exhaling in annoyance, Frollo straightens himself before replying curtly.

“ You know that’s not possible. The Lord is omnipresent, not in an actual mortal body. He couldn’t... “join”, nor would He want to. You hold your vile tongue. ”

[four-4-dream-land]

💕💕💕

From Here

Okay, I think I will dedicate this one to a few mutuals who are cool, but I haven’t done much with yet.

@ssatxr

This is the mun who physically lives closest to me, which is pretty crazy to think about. They’re always a delight in vc and I love everything I’ve learned so far about Midnight and Herla. We gotta get a planned thread going someday so we can fully experience each other’s worlds and their chaos.

@automaton-otto / @godfrey-industries

Dude. You’ve got so much stuff going on with your ocs and world, it’s insane. You’re also a lot braver with sharing all that you’ve developed over many years than I am with my own fandomless content, and that’s something that needs to be commended. I hope we can get the little dudes involved in more stuff soon.

@spxcemuses

You need villains? This person right here’s got a whole slew of villains, and they are amazing. I appreciate the dedication to evil/assholery that not a lot of blogs seem to have. A couple of my muses already bullied Frollo in crack (cuz let’s face it, he’s a pretty easy target), but we haven’t yet done a serious thread together. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I really need someone else to torment my group aside from Davoth-

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

Things Hriob is No Longer Allowed to Do, Revised Edition - Part Deux

#56 …Because apparently the last Listing’s #55 was taken as a ‘challenge’ anyways or perhaps there was never going to be any end to this, You are no longer allowed to ‘accept’ challenges without seriously considering the implications and potential costs thereof, not ONLY for yourself!

#57 ‘Kabedon’ means ‘putting your hand down on the wall next to your crush to keep them in place for a moment’, Not ‘Putting your arm through a load-bearing structure next to your crush in your eagerness to try this ‘Kabedon’ thing out’. Also you’re forbidden from trying this again given what happened to the building last time.

#58 Just because certain technically-immortal entities call themselves ‘Weapons’ in a semi-metaphorical sense, and are bound either spiritually, physically, or both to powerful artifacts, does not allow you to treat them like actual weapons and simply throw or swing them at people.

#59 I will not misuse the spell commonly known as ‘Bigby’s Hand’ or its various derivatives for fun profit arm-wrestling thumb-wrestling ‘high-fives’ ‘low-fives’ handshakes ‘flipping the bird’ anything that is not explicitly meant to either hit something violently or hold something too big to hold on my own.

#60 When told ‘Don’t Touch ___’, that is a request or a requirement, NOT a goddamn challenge to prove you can anyways.

#61 I am Not allowed to set myself others objects anyone or anything on fire when entering holy ground of any kind/denomination, to mess with them to intimidate them for ANY reason.

#62 Performing ‘magic tricks’ with slight-of-hand and playing or tarot cards is acceptable. Performing ‘magic tricks’ with Cantrips, Spells, and other people’s personal belongings is right out.

#63 I am forever forbidden from using straws with my beverages, no matter how ‘Silly’ or ‘Serious’. I am Especially forbidden from getting my hands on those paper-wrapped disposable straws, both for ecological reasons and because I apparently can’t get it into my head that they are NOT paper Blowdart Launchers.

#64 While I am not completely forbidden, especially given certain timelines, from making ‘Dad Jokes’, I am NOT allowed to replace more than 25% of my conversations with them. There HAS to be a limit, damnit.

#65 Roman Candles, as well as any other kinds of pyrotechnics, explosives, ‘flame additives’, or other categories of ‘fireworks’, are to be considered restricted to special events, circumstances, or emergencies, and ONLY used ‘Properly’ in accordance with fire safety guidelines. Using them as improvised projectiles in a fight is uncalled for when you have so many other better worse options available to you, using them to ‘Recreate that one Scene from Star Wars with a few of my buds’ is grounds for being thrown in the ocean to sober up.

#66 Tossing excited kids gently into leaf piles is fun and a good way to enjoy Autumn. Creating Leaf Pile Golems to terrorize them for ‘playfights’ is clearly taking things way too far.

#67 As an addendum to entry #42 of the last installment, and in light of others still associating me with ‘The Wonderful Wizard of Gauze’ despite all claims to the contrary, I am not in possession of ‘An infinite supply of Band-Aids’, ‘The Full Might of the Infamous Clothes Beam’, ‘The Wardrobe of the Gods Themselves’, ‘The Secret to Everlasting Wrinkle-Free Fabrics’, or ‘The Laundrosophers’s Stone’. Also, Samhain 2022 is NOT to be repeated again, put that mask to rest.

#68 As an addendum to entry #41 of the last installment, and in light of recent improvements to my on-hand enchantable tarot cards, I will remind myself that the cards are to be used as ranged casting foci and, if need be, throwing weapons. They are NOT to be used as lockpicks, drinks coasters, trading card substitutes, calling cards, get-well-soon cards, playing cards, culinary implements, or divination trinkets for any method.

#69 I will remember that my ‘Banishing’ Crystals and my ‘Thwacking’ Crystals are to be kept separate, with only RARE intersections between both categories. If it's good enough to hold a mystical charge or concept-embodiment, it's precious enough not to shatter over some bozo’s skull.

#70 I am forever banned from ever watching ANY segment of ANY ‘Jackass’ Movie, just to be safe. Some things are just not worth the effort to go into detail on, so I hope this is self-explanatory.

#71 If ever I am allowed to enter a School College Academy ANY place of learning pertaining to magic, I will be respectful and cooperative, be it as a learner or a teacher. I will NOT fill the spellbooks with ‘prank spells’ or mislabel any spells, rituals, or the like for comedic therapeutic vengeful educational ANY REASON.

#72 I am forever banned from learning any variation of the ‘Polymorph’ series of spells. ‘Return to Monkey’ is a dumb meme, not an excuse to practice Malicious Wish-Granting.

#73 I will remember that Null-Fields and Dimensional Anchors are last-minute emergency trump cards for fights against truly dangerous entities like the Jumper, NOT goddamn party favors to throw down any time someone remotely magical is ‘in need of a time-out’.

#74 Yes, the power of a star in the palm of your hand is a true sign of both magical power, prowess, and genius. Yes, it is an immensely potent spell for offense, defense, and occasional utility. No, I will not use it whenever I want to. Ignoring the cost of maintaining Nuclear Fusion in-atmosphere without igniting the air around me, the radiological and magnetic impact of the reaction on the environment around me just isn’t worth casual use unless someone asks really nicely AT ALL.

#75 I am an “Agent of Gaia”. That means I serve the natural order in my own way. That in NO way lets me try to mess with paradox, partial oracular abilities be damned, regardless of how useful it might be in dealing with certain threats.

#76 As fun as it might be for the kids, I will refrain from using Geomancy to create statues sandcastles houses real castles phallic objects ANYTHING out of cubic-meter-sized blocks. Neither will I make obviously labeled explosives in block-form.

#77 I don’t care how much I love my adoptive Mutti Lyth, her daughter and my baby sister Tae, Theodore, or even Anna no matter what the state of my relationship with her may currently be in this timeline, my first response to seeing another, unrelated dragon - Especially on a Destructive-Elemental-Breath Rampage - is NOT supposed to be ‘Run over and give them a bear hug’.

#78 Yes, ‘All-Terrain Heelys’ are potentially a thing, if a dangerous thing to play with. No, you cannot ‘test’ them by aggravating a pack of wolves and arranging to be chased by them. And you CERTAINLY are not to encourage a class of teenagers INVOLVE ANYONE ELSE IN THIS.

#79 In case it was not clear enough already - I AM NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH FERGUS O’DWYER WITHOUT SUPERVISION UNLESS EXTREME EMERGENCY CIRCUMSTANCES ARE INVOLVED.

#80 Depending Regardless of the timeline, I will not try to gain pity infamy jealousy discounts make ANY claims that ‘My Girlfriend turned into the Moon’.

[b4dposture]

Jesus Olivia Godfrey is such a fucking bitch! Can’t help but admire her though… she’s a master at what she does

Honestly can’t tell if I love her or hate her, but she’s captivating and that’s what matters

[haus-der-mysterionmusen]

Thread with @godfrey-industries as continued from https://www.tumblr.com/godfrey-industries/745783410097848320/haus-der-mysterionmusen-so-uh-youre?

"Uh okay, I uh I don't need to do anything super important today I guess... it's just... well..." Shinji didn't want to be here, he was honestly really nervous about this but Dr. Marigold seemed like she was really nice so it would be pretty mean to try and run off. So he took a seat.

"I uh I guess Yarbert would describe me with words like that but I don't know about kind or brave really. Being a pilot doesn't really make me brave... I'm sorry if I disappoint after an introduction like that." Shinji added with a sigh

[mikeshouts]

2024 Godfrey Pontoons XP Series Luxury Pontoon Looks Like A Lovechild Of A Speedboat And A Pontoon

Not the kind of pontoons that you are used to.

Follow us for more Tech Culture and Lifestyle Stuff.

[danton-brothers]

Comes out of his room in his robe and a mug of coffee.

Looks at calendar.

“Somethin’ ain’t right…” looks at his phone and then peels away the month of June.

Realizes he’s already missed Rowan’s birthday, Father’s Day, and Yarbert’s birthday.

“…” proceeds to do a very long sip from his mug to basically drink it down before turning around and heading back to bed.

[nomercyleft-a]

@godfrey-industries​ Continued from XX

“Ah, I see, well, they sound rather unpleasant and, while our people might not be the most welcoming to foreigners, I don’t think we would go as far as murder.  Her majesty would never tolerate such a disgraceful action.”

Murder based on one’s race sounded pointless, and if there was one thing Gaki wasn’t, it was needlessly cruel.

“I do welcome you to Kaming however, and I do hope that, even if the people seem a bit abrasive at times, that you find the beauty in our culture.”

[friendsamongstars]

"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio." Alouette calmly says holding Brian's head. Please put the cyborg's head down Allie.

"Return. my. head. NOW." The cyborg was visibly upset with his body in the pose of someone very annoyed, matching his facial expression perfectly despite his head being detached.

"What are you even talking about? Why did you have to use MY head and not something else that isn't part of me?" Brian continued in a tone that was far from happy. It would make sense to simply take it back but he was trying to be polite and not snatch things from others even if it was his own head.