#gonna go stream this for ten hours goodbye

[peegpin]

Art for Morning Elvis live at the Denver Ball Arena by Florence and the Machine ft. @mothercain

[verstappen-cult]

#. . . Five times Max refuses to acknowledge he’s sick + one time he does.

request made by @lucien-calore. . . “hi, you asked for a max request and i shall deliver! can i please have a sickfic where max refuses to acknowledge he's sick (a flu or something, nothing too serious) but when he does, he acts like a drama queen?”

#1

You’re making dinner when you hear Max coughing from his streaming room, then the laughs of his friends making fun of him. 

You don’t think too much about it. That is until he can’t stop coughing while you’re eating, and when you’re getting ready for bed, and at all during the night. 

It’s only in the morning, as you’re making breakfast and he’s feeding the cats, when you decide to say something. 

“Baby?” You say, trying to look nonchalant while making the eggs. 

“Yes?” He puts the cat food away and makes his way to you. Max hugs your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “What happens?”

“I’m gonna go to the pharmacy after pilates, do you need anything?” 

Max hums, like actually thinking about it before saying, “No, love. Got everything I need.”

“You sure? Nothing for that cough you have?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He kisses your cheek and pulls away, grabbing an apple. “I’m gonna be streaming, make sure to say goodbye before you leave, okay?”

#2

“Are you okay?” It’s the fourth time in less than an hour that Max enters the kitchen to fill his bottle of water.

“Yeah, it’s just that all the singing and screaming at the concert last night left me with a sore throat.”

You try not to laugh but it’s impossible. It’s been three days since he started with that horrible cough, which hasn’t stopped, but he still doesn’t understand that he’s probably sick. 

“Max, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that.” You close the book and get up from the couch, he looks confused as you get closer and place your hand on his forehead. “Jesus, Max, you’re burning up!” 

“I’m hot, don’t you think?” 

“Max, I’m serious, you got a fever.” 

“It’s probably nothing,” He reassures you by placing a kiss on your cheek before turning around. “I fell asleep on the terrace. I’m gonna take a shower, okay?” 

“Max, I swear to God—”

“You look hot when you’re angry.” That’s the last thing he says, walking away. 

“Max!” 

#3

It's impossible. You’ve tried everything to make Max understand that he’s sick and needs to rest, but he won’t admit it.

This morning you practically begged him to stay in bed to rest and recover, but he did not listen to you, saying that it was nothing — as he’s been saying all week — and actually dragged you to the Padel court because ‘I’m gonna win this time’. 

Dani’s visiting, so, everyone got together to spend Sunday morning at their favorite place, promising to go to brunch after. But it’s been three hours and they have just finished the second game. Who’s fault is that? Max’s. 

It’s no secret that Max is not very good at Padel, but now that he’s sick it’s been torture. Every couple of minutes they have to stop the game for him to cough, so it’s been impossible to actually play and he doesn’t want to give up. 

And it’s worse because Charles is his partner. Only a look at the Monégasque and you know he wants to murder him. 

“Max,” You call his name, leaving your book aside and walking closer to the wall that’s separating both of you. “you’re sick, why don’t we go home?”

“But, baby, I really think I can win this one.”

“No you won’t!” Lando shouts from across the court as he’s stretching. 

“Oh shut u—”

“Max, I’m serious.” You don’t know what else to do at this point. He’s always been so stubborn, but this has reached new levels. 

“I’m gonna win this for you, baby.” He winks and turns around to join the rest of the group. 

#4

“Max? Why are you still in bed?” You enter the room, gaze immediately going to the watch on the nightstand. It’s two in the afternoon. He never stays in bed past ten, not even during winter or summer break. 

“Jus’ tired.” He mumbles, face hidden in the pillows. 

“I’m gonna make you a cup of tea, okay?” You sit next to him, stroking his hair. 

“Don’t want a cup of tea,” He opens his eyes, looking up at you and pouting. It makes you giggle. “I want you.”

“I won’t kiss you until you admit you’re sick.”

“That’s so unfair!” He pouts again, this time grabbing your arm and trying to make you lie next to him. “I’m not sick. I’m like super healthy.” You snort, shaking your head and standing up. 

“Then, no kisses for you.”

Max groans, hiding his face under the blankets. “I can survive without your kisses, you know.” 

That makes you laugh because you know Max, and you know how much he likes to kiss you at every opportunity. The chances of Max keeping that promise… Impossible.

“Whatever gets you through the night, Maxie.”

#5

“Hey, baby.” Max places a kiss on your cheek as you leave the grocery bags on the kitchen table. “You got everything for tonight?”

“Yes. I already talked with your mom and they’ll be here at around nine.” Max helps you put the groceries away, frowning when he sees some medicine and a special broth he knows perfectly well among the things you will need for dinner tonight.

“What's this?”

You try to hide a smile, pretending to be busy with anything just to keep you from looking at him. “Your mom said you used to love it as a kid.”

“Yeah,” He says, still confused. “when I was sick.”

“You are sick, Max. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this.”

“I am not!” He huffs, rolling his eyes. You can see from the irritated expression on his face that he's tired of you repeating the same thing over and over again. “I’m gonna go play for a little bit.”

You grab his hand before he can walk away, pulling him closer to you. “Hey,” Max raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to talk. But you cup his cheeks instead, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m worried, I don’t want you to get worse.”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

You can only watch as he leaves the room, Jimmy following closely behind. 

“Well, I tried.” You mumble, looking at Sassy perched on the counter. She meows and you’re glad at least someone understands you.

+1

“Schatje?” You hear Max’s hoarse voice say. 

“Mmh?” It’s your answer, busy peeling some vegetables. “What happens?”

He hesitates for a second, you see from the corner of your eyes how he avoids looking at you, which makes you stop and turn your attention to your boyfriend. 

“I’m sick.” He whispers, surprising you. But he deserves a little teasing. 

“What? I didn’t hear you.” You play dumb, and Max sees right through you. 

“You were right, okay? I was being an idiot.”

“Yes, you were.” He pouts, making you feel warm all over. You walk to him, placing your hand on his forehead. “You have a fever. Why don’t you go lie down on the couch, uh? I’ll heat up the broth.” 

“I’m sorry for being an idiot.” He breathes into the air, blushing all the way from his cheeks to his neck. You know that admitting when he’s wrong is not something easy for him.

“I know, baby. But,” You reach up and boop Max on the nose with your index finger. “I’m gonna take care of you, okay?”

“But I wanted to help you, everyone’s about to arrive.” 

“Worry about what your mom will say once I tell her how stubborn you have been.” He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. “If you’re a good boy and take the medicine, I’ll think about giving you a… reward.”

If Max takes the medicine and finishes all the broth is only because he wants to get better. It has nothing to do with the reward you’re going to give him tonight.

[lovebombs4life]

need some dom!michael 😭

pay back - m.g.c.

requested: yeah 🫶 thinking of kiwi by harry styles while i write this.

a/n: SHE SITS BESIDE ME LIKE A SILHOUETTE

cw: SMUT!!!! choking, oral (m), throat fucking, dom!michael

———

michael had been streaming on twitch for what felt like hours. it had only been an hour and twenty minutes and he usually ended stream at the hour and thirty minute mark.

i walked to the office door, peaking my head in. “hold on guys, y/n just walked in.” he said, sliding his headphones off.

“what’s up love?” he asked turning his chair around. i shrugged.

“just miss you. how much longer on stream?” pouted, sitting on the couch next to his desk set up.

i was off screen now, playing with the hem of my shirt. “only about ten to fifteen more minutes, angel, then we can go cuddle, okay?” he spoke. i nodded, throwing my head back against the couch.

ten minutes quickly turned into twenty, and i knew that he wouldn’t be done anytime soon. i got down off the couch, crawling on the floor under his desk. i tugged at his shorts, making him glance down for a second.

he muted his mic and covered the camera quickly. “what are you doing?” he asked with his eyes wide.

“wanna suck your cock, sir.” i said, looking up at him through my lashes. he groaned slightly, lifting his hips a little so i could pull down just enough to get his cock out.

he unmuted his mic, and put his hand down, continuing his game. i kitten licked his tip, and slowly ran my tongue up and down his length.

his thighs tensed up, and his cock twitched at the feeling. i smirked, taking him in my mouth fully. i breathed softly from my nose, letting him hit the back of my throat.

my nose pressed to his pelvis, his happy trail tickling my face. hollowed my cheeks, causing more suction around him. he shifted around, and quickly said goodbye to the stream before ending it and shutting his system down.

once it was off, he let out a moan, grabbing my hair as i bobbed my head up and down. he pulled me off his cock, forcing me to look up at him.

“such a naughty girl. trying to get me off stream all because you’re a needy little slut? so pathetic.” he said, pulling me hair back farther. he pulled me out from under the desk and pushed me to the couch. he pulled his shorts off his legs, his shirt following quickly after.

“gonna act like a naughty girl then you’re gonna be treated like one too. strip.” he commanded. i got up slowly, sliding my shirt off to reveal i wasn’t wearing anything else underneath the large piece of clothing.

“you came in here knowing exactly what you wanted now, didn’t you?” he said, grabbing my throat. i nodded my head.

“words, angel.” he said. i sucked in a breath. “yes sir.” i spoke meekly. he smirked at me.

“good girl. now get in your knees.” he instructed. i sunk to the floor, looking up at him. he grabbed his cock, pumping it a few times.

he hit his tip on my mouth, singalong for me to open up. i did so, opening wide, sticking my tongue out for him. he grumbled as he slid down my throat with ease, starting a steady pace.

i choked and gagged on him, making him chuckle. he slapped my face lightly, making me moan around him.

“so fucking dirty. such a good little slut, baby.” he praised, wiping drool that fell from my mouth. my eyes watered, tears falling down my face.

he pulled out of my mouth, helping me stand up. he laid me back on the couch, grabbing my legs and spreading them wide open.

“fuck, y/n, so wet for me angel, all that from getting throat fucked?” he asked. i nodded my head before speaking.

“love your cock, mikey, want it so bad.” i mewled. he grabbed my leg, resting it on his shoulder. he rubbed his cock over my folds, collecting my wetness.

he chuckled as i squirmed around, holding me flat. he pushed himself into my pussy roughly, making a scream rip from my throat.

“fuck! sir, please, fuck me!” i cried. he slapped my face again, gripping onto my throat.

the veins in his cock rubbed inside my walls, and his tip kissed at my cervix as he pounded into me. the sounds of his cock sliding in and out of my pussy filled the room, along with the slapping of our skin, and my loud moans.

“being such a good girl for me now. couldn’t have waited for my cock earlier? couldn’t have sat there and even good?” he taunted me.

i rolled my eyes back as he lifted my other leg over his shoulder, hitting inside me deeper. he wrapped his arms around my legs, holding me tight as his cock reached far inside my heat.

“you gonna cum babygirl? can feel how you’re squeezing my cock, angel, go on baby,” he spoke, leaning into me, going farther.

“cum for me.” he growled, pounding into me, making me scream, gasping for air. i rolled back my eyes, squeezing them shut.

i gripped onto the couch cushions as i came on his cock, feeling my wetness flow out. he darkly grinned, still pounding into me. i cried as it became too much.

“fuck, mikey! need you to be done.” my body shook.

he chuckled. “thats not our safe word darling. this is pay back for what you pulled while i was on stream.” he said, his nails digging into my thighs.

i whimpered as he hit at a different angle, pushing at my g-spot. “shit, baby, gonna cum.” he moaned. just as i rode out another orgasm, he pulled out of me, his cum dripping from my thighs.

i gasped for air, shaking. he laid down on the couch next to me, pulling me close to him. he squeezed onto me, kissing my head as my breathing regulated.

“did i hurt you, darling?” he asked. i shook my head.

“even if you did, it was your pay back.” i giggled, turning my head back to kiss him.

“let go get cleaned up.” he spoke pulling me up off the couch. he led me to our bedroom, and into our bathroom.

“or…” i trailed off as he turned on the shower. “we go for round two in the shower?” i asked. he looked back at me, smirking.

he pulled back the curtain, stepping in.

“well, let’s get to it then.”

[please-buckme]

A Broken Heart.

Chapter 1

Lee Bodecker x fem!reader

Chapter warnings: slight mentions of sex, 18+,hitting, sad shit, break up, heart break, angst, cursing

Chapter Summary: reader and Lee breakup.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2 //Chapter 3

The world felt as if it were shattering around you, crumbling beneath your feet like the rapture was upon you. Honestly, if the world did come to an end right now you’d be elated. At least you wouldn’t have to deal with your broken heart anymore.

You sat against a wall in your room, wallowing in your own self petty. It’d be three days since Lee Bodecker had broken things off with you. He had said that you were hurting his campaign, that he still loved you but needed a woman of power to help him become sheriff of this godforsaken town.

Lee had taken you out in the same field he took you to every time y’all made love. He kissed you so passionately, held you so closely. If you weren’t so caught up in the way his hands felt against your bare skin, you would’ve noticed how distraught he was the entire time he made love to you. It was his way of saying goodbye before he actually said goodbye. After he’d broken up with you, you felt disgusting and violated.

You’d never felt like that with Lee. He was your deputy and sinner in disguise. He was your rock and your soft place to fall. When the tears finally fill, the most empty feeling you’d ever felt emerged in your gut. One day you thought you were gonna be Mrs. Lee Bodecker. You daydreamed constantly of your wedding day and sharing a bed with the man you loved for the rest of your life ‘til you were old and gray. To know now that dream will always remain a dream.. that’s what hurt the most.

After Lee drove you home, you sat in your room for three days straight, not even coming out for supper. Your momma tried to convince you to eat and it worked once on the second day, until you threw up right after.

She didn’t understand. She’d never been in love, not really. Not love like you and Lee had. People told y’all all the time how rare and beautiful your love for one another was and you agreed. Just looking back on those memories made you sick. You listened in awe of how beautiful your love was not knowing Lee would only break your heart days later.

Today was Sunday, the lord's day, and usually you never wanted to go to church, but today you really didn’t want to go. The whole town, including Lee and his new arm candy, would be there. It’s the first time you’d be seeing Lee since he dropped you off. It was too soon, especially since you knew he’d already moved on.

As you sat with your head between your knees, your momma barged through your bedroom door.

“Jesus, girl. Why aren’t you up and ready to go? Church starts in an hour and you aren’t gonna make me late again.” She stomped over to your closet and shuffled through your dresses.

“Momma.. I- I’m not ready. I can’t see… him with her. I just ain’t ready for that kinda humiliation.” You sighed, trying to reason with your Bible-thumpin momma.

“Oh, no. You’ve embarrassed me enough this week. Disappearin’ for three whole days over a boy? You’re pathetic. You know, back in my day, we didn’t get to sit around and sulk the days away. No. We had to carry on like everything was fine and that’s what you’re gonna do. Now, get dressed.” She threw you a dress, one of your favorites actually. It was a teal blue, babydoll dress that you usually saved for special occasions, but you weren’t feeling very special at the moment and now you were just pissed off.

You stood and came face-to-face with your momma, “I’m not going. You have no idea how I feel. You can’t. You’ve never felt love the way we had it, Momma. No one ever loved you or me the way I love Lee. You couldn’t possib-“

Just then you felt a sharp sting against your cheek as your momma slapped you across the face.

“Not. Another. Word. You will be dressed and waitin for me at the car in ten minutes. No poutin’ and no sulkin’ in the pews. I don’t wanna hear another word about that boy.” She turned to exit your room but turned around to give you one last dig to the heart, “And, honey, a man in love would never have done what he did to you. Remember that next time you wanna preach to me about love.” With that she left your room. Your cheek still stung from the unexpected hit to the face. Your momma was cruel but she’d never hit you before.

The slap, in a way, was kind of refreshing. For a split second you’d totally forgotten about Lee. Only for a second, though. His crystal blue eyes and cheshire lips never leave your thoughts completely. You shook your head in defeat, trying to erase him from your mind. It didn’t work, but you took a deep breath and began getting ready.

//

The church parking lot was full when you and your momma pulled in. Rickety old trucks to brand spankin new, brightly colored cars littered the dusty lot. You spotted Lee’s car immediately, thankfully he was already inside.

The whole town came to this church, which wasn’t that many people. Nevertheless, everybody knew everybody and, even if you didn’t care, everybody knew everybody’s dirty laundry. Old Man Karl got pulled over last week for a DUI, Nancy from the library cheated on her husband with his brother and.. oh yeah, Lee Bodecker dumped his long time girlfriend for the mayor's daughter.

Lee and yours breakup was the talk of the town. You were the fresh, new gossip in this boring as hell town and there’s nothing you could do about it.

You couldn’t get two steps into the church without being bombarded by women you didn’t want to know but also knew too much about, asking if you were alright and that they’d pray for you on this ‘beautiful, glorious Sunday morning’. Yeah, same shit different day, different person.

One woman stayed to chat with your momma, so you went to find your seat. Your usual spot was next to Lee and naturally that’s where you headed, only to be greeted by Lee and His new girlfriend, Laura-Jean Mancon. She was one of those girls who’d been pretty her whole life. Blind hair, blue eyes and a huge rack. Everybody thought she’d go into modeling or start an acting career but she never did. Instead, she stayed and was now going to marry Lee. In your eyes, that’s the best path she could’ve taken. You’d take her place any day.

“Mornin’ Y/n.” Lee cleared his throat, unable to make eye contact with you.

“L-“ You went to say his name but found you couldn’t. It was only one syllable, only three letters and it pained you to even think about, let alone say aloud. You cleared your throat, “Laura-Jean, nice to see you again.”

Laura-Jean said nothing in return. She just hummed, waiting for you to talk away.

“I guess I’ll go.. find me a new seat.” You took a deep breath when you felt the tears welling up in your eyes, again. Lee stared straight forward the whole time you stood there, too cowardly to even look you in the eyes. Some Sheriff he’ll be.

You scanned the crowd of people and found your momma in the front row, of course. You made your way up the aisle and took your seat next to her. The chorus sang their hems and the preacher clapped his way in on the last versus.

“How are we doin’ on this fine Sunday mornin’?” he drawled to the crowd. He got an assortment of greetings in return.

“I said ‘HOW ARE WE DOIN ON THIS BRIGHT N’ SHINY SUNDIE MORNIN’?’.”

“GOOD” the people shouted in return. You could hear Laura-Jean giggling over something but you wouldn’t dare look back. Lee always made church bearable, making wise cracks at the preaches expense.

“Now, today I’d like to talk a little bit about love. Of course, we’re always talkin’ about love when it comes to our lord and savor, Jesus Christ. But just for a moment, it ain’t about him. No. This mornin’ I’m preachin’ to you about young love.”

Here we go.

“It comes and goes so fast, but when you have it, it’s one of the most beautiful things this world can offer you.. especially when you put a little Jesus in it.” The church laughed. You knew where this was going. Your stomach churned as you sunk down into the pew.

“I’d like to ask the newly engaged folks in the crowd to come and join me up here. You know who you are, soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Lee Bodecker.”

Your heart felt as if it were going to explode, a tear escaped through your lashes and you quickly wiped it away.

They walked up hand in hand, smiling for cheek to cheek. How could he be so happy, so calm after only being broken up for less than a week? Did he ever love you? Really love you. Like you loved him. Obviously not because you could never, in good conscience do this to him. You couldn’t stand on a stage wrapped arm in arm with another man while Lee sat, just as you were now, devastated and totally distraught.

“So tell us,” the preach beamed. “When’s the big day.”

Lee looked at you with a pained expression as Laura-Jean answered the preach.

“May 21st”

Your breathing heavies at the reply. Turning to your momma you whispered, “Momma, that’s in two weeks.”

“I know that. Now, hush.” She side eyed you with a full smile still pressed to her lips. Even your own mother didn’t seem to care about your feelings. You sat there, listening to Laura-Jean go on and on about their ‘big day’. Tears streamed down your face and you let them. You’d given up on trying to hide how hurt you really felt. When you looked up, Lee stared straight at you. He wasn’t crying but his pain ridden face told you everything. One look at him and you couldn’t breathe anymore. You stood abruptly, all eyes were on you and Laura-Jean had stopped talking.

“I- excuse me.” You said before booking it out the back door. Lee hollered out, asking you to wait. It was too late. You were half way out the door and couldn’t stand to be in that room for another second.

Your feet stomped against the grave, dust clouding up in your wake as you made your way to the road.

“Y/n!” Lee called out after you.

“Go away. I have nothing to say to you, L- fuck.” You cursed, trying desperately to get away from him.

“I said wait, goddammit.” He growled, capturing your bicep in his large hand.

“Let go of me!” You whined sounding out of breath.

“Not until you listened to what I have to say.”

“What, Lee? What could you possibly have to say?”

“I- I.. dammit. I know I put you in a tough position but-“

“A tough position?” You repeated.

“Let me finish.” He sighed and released your arm from his grasp, “I know I hurt you. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am, but, doll, this is it. This is my only chance at becoming Sheriff. You know how hard I’ve worked to get here and you’ve always been so supportive of my dream. I- I just thought.. out of everyone you would understand.”

Your skin burned as you imagined smoke blowing from your ears. Did he really just say that? That you should understand the break up and go on with your life like nothing happened like he is? You stood there frozen, breathing heavier and heavier as your brain tried to come up with a coherent response while trying to also remain a lady.

“I- I still love you. You know that, right?” He asked, bringing a hand to your cheek and wiping a stray tear away.

You flinched at his burning touch and slapped his hand away, “Don’t touch me. Don’t you ever touch me again. I don’t love you anymore. I can’t love you. Shit… seeing you was the best part of my day and now I can’t even look at you without feeling like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I can’t even say your name anymore. Everything about you, now, fills me with so much pain and dread. So if that’s what your love is, keep it. I don’t want it anymore.”

“Doll,” A tear ran down his cheek, you now being the one who’s breaking his heart. “I never meant to hurt you. I swear.” He sniffles.

“Well, you did. I’m in so much pain.” You sobbed, “I’m in so much pain and I have no one to go to because you were my person. You have left me completely empty and utterly alone.”

“Y/n, I-“

“Save it, Bodecker. I’m done talking to you.”

Lee didn’t chase after you this time. He let the tears stream down his face as he watched you walk away. He was just as heartbroken as you but couldn’t show it., not when he was so close to winning this election. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and headed back towards the church. He knew you just needed time and that he’d still see you around town.

Seeing you today took his breath away. You wore your favorite dress that he bought you for your birthday so long ago. You didn’t have on any makeup, which he loved. You were so naturally beautiful and he did still love you with every piece of his shattered heart. He’d eventually come up with a plan to get you back, but for now he would respect your space.

//

Once you’d gotten home and shut the door, you couldn’t help but scream at the top of your lungs. Hoping for some sort of release from all this heartache you felt. Telling him you couldn’t love him was the hardest thing you ever had to do. You sat on the floor in the same position you were in before you left; head between your knees and sobbing like a baby.

There was no escaping him in this town. There was church and the grocery store and the diner you worked at part time. He was everywhere. He’d come in every morning you worked to have coffee with you. He had been a part of every little thing you do in your daily routine for as long as you can remember.

There was never a time you weren’t together. It was always just you and him. He was the one who held you when you were sad, but where was he now when you needed him most?

To you, there was only one way to fix this; get the hell out of here. Completely leave town and start anew somewhere else. You have an aunt that lives right outside of town. You can stay there until it doesn’t hurt anymore.

Wiping the tears from your eyes, you got up. Your aunt agreed to the plan and said you could stay with her for as long as you needed when you called her. You packed a small duffle bag and waited for her to pick you up.

When she did finally pull up out front, you hopped in the car and she drove off, leaving the dusty ole town you called home for so long. You took in a deep breath as you drove towards your new life. No Lee, no momma, no worries.

Dividers by: @firefly-in-darkness

Taglist: @haydens-moles , @c00lkidvibes , @tcc-gizmachine , @buckysm3talarm , @gogolucky13 , @cryptidcasanova , @heavenlyseb , @writersbuck , @teddy-bearbaby , @bbmommy0902 , @sweetllamaparadise , @thereblogcrusader , @aleemendoza2425-blog , @frostbytebaby , @jessyballet , @emotionallyandphysicallydone , @sarge-barnes-sir , @generalbagelcookieslime

(Dm me to be added to taglist)

[sweetdreamsshifter]

Her - Damien Haas x Reader

A/N: Hey 😏 This is stupid, I know it is, but we just... We need more Damien content. Also, this is probably gonna be multiple parts, but I can only use my phone, which makes them small and sad. 🥲 But I will push for good stories still!!!

Category: Fluff, as always 🖐🙄

Y/N = Your Name; E/C = Eye Color

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Why am I here.

The man stood in the corner of the deafening room with a cup of soda in his hand, watching the room's occupants get more and more trashed. Damien was never happier to be sober, but never more disappointed that he was alone with a group of drunks.

Suddenly, his soda was no longer in his hand, but dumped on the floor as he felt a sudden weight push him over. Instinctively he grabbed out for something, anything, to keep from falling on the sticky club floor, dragging down an innocent bystander with him instead.

As his head collided with the ground, he let out a groan of pain, groaning again and he felt a weight fall on top of him. Wait, a weight fell on top-

Damien's eyes opened in shock, meeting the E/C eyes of his poor victim.

"I am so sorry. I got pushed by someone and I meant to grab the table, but I was already falling, and I-" He was interrupted by an airy laugh and a hand out stretched to help him up, the girl no longer on top of him.

"Hey, don't worry about it, dude. I've been there. This place is too small for it's own good, it has to be violating at least ten safety codes." They laughed as they stood up, an awkward air soon taking place of conversation.

"Y'know, I was actually about to go to this nearby 24 hour cafe if you'd like to join me? I know this is gonna sound creepy, but I was watching you for a little bit, and you just seem uncomfortable or something... I don't know, this is me trying and failing to shoot my shot." The girl said awkwardly, playing with her handbag as they both blushed scarlet.

"I'm Damien." He said, stretching out his hand. The girl shook his hand after a moment of confusion.

"Y/N..." She responded, a confused yet amused smirk on her lips.

"I just figured I'd tell you before we go to that cafe, y'know?" They giggled a moment before leaving the club, conversation striking up in their walk to the cafe.

"So, what do you do, Mister Mysterious?" Y/N joked, nudging Damien with her shoulder as they neared the cafe. He let out an airy laugh before opening the door for them.

"It's a little stupid to some people, but I'm a YouTuber, essentially. I won't reveal my company yet, but you'll probably find out soon what with my blabber mouth, but I also stream and act. It's a great life, and absolutely rewarding, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it. That was an unnecessary detail, sorry." He scratched the back of his neck and let out a laugh as he blushed scarlet, the two getting their drinks and sitting down at near a window. Why am I so flustered today? He thought as he followed the girl like a lost puppy.

"I'm no YouTuber, but I understand that last bit. I, personally, feel really thankful for my life as well, while still feeling that sense of undeserving. I run this little bakery a few blocks away. It's all based on video games, too, which is great for me considering there's a few video game stores nearby and I've been playing games since I was a kid." Y/N rambled, Damien's heart growing as he listened to the young woman.

"Anyway, why we're you at the club tonight if you were so uncomfortable?" She asked, making him flush as he prepared his answer.

"A friend of mine told me it'd be an okay place to meet new people, and I've been wanting to get back in the dating game..." He said reluctantly, glancing up from his drink as he flushed at his embarrassing response.

"Me too, actually... Would you want to exchange numbers?" Y/N asked, her heart beating obnoxiously in her chest. Before she could even take back her words, she saw the light of a phone screen in her peripheral vision, Damien's phone waiting to have a new contact added in. She prepared her phone the same way and handed it to him, both pink in the face as they switched phones again, their contacts now housing one more person.

They continued to talk for hours more before both grew drousy. After a short walk down the street, Y/N and Damien were outside of her apartment complex, exchanging goodbyes with promises of texts and a proper date being set in stone. Before he could regret it, Damien planted a kiss on her cheek, saying goodbye again before backing down the street, not turning away until she walked in the building.

As Damien grew to know Y/N more, he'd grow to be more thankful for the stranger that shoved her into his arms, for the little coffee shop they bonded in, and for everything that was genuinely her.

[dalamjisung]

stream it ❊ mark tuan

word count: 2690

genre: slice of life, streamer!mark 

member: mark x reader

description: your best friend is finally coming back, after years of living oceans away; but for some reason he is ignoring you. What is he planning?

He doesn’t tell you much. Actually, the little he does tell you is the same as nothing and if you ask anything else, he just changes the topic.

We’re finishing things today, he texted you almost a week ago, and after that, radio silence. You try calling, but not only he doesn’t pick up, but he also turns his phone off, and now all you can do is cuss him through your window, carefully keeping your voice down so that his family won’t hear you disgracing the name of their dear son.

Mr. Tuan had already caught you staring into his son’s empty room many times, and he’d always invite you over whenever he did, asking if you wanted to go take a look into his room– you two did spend a lot of time in there, after all. You did, once; but then never again… it looks exactly like it did the day he left for Korea and although it’s been more than ten years now, something inside still pulled and twisted at your heartstrings. A nostalgic pain, is what Ms. Tuan called it, and you nod; she’d know best, indeed. You might miss your best friend, but she misses her son, and nothing you feel or do can ever amount to that.

A shower is just what you need, you conclude, but even when the scalding hot water hits your back in a soft massage, you can’t stop thinking about him. Years ago, before he left, Mark made you a promise: he promised you two would finish what you started– and you knew what that meant, you knew he was talking about the relationship that had been blossoming for the past months… however, you started to doubt yourself as time went by. With the years, the feelings you had– have,– the feelings you have for him, started to numb, almost like a dull presence behind the rest of your life; behind all the other relationships you had, all the other decisions you made, everything. It’s always been there, and it is there still. No matter how much you rub your skin, how much you empty your head, Mark is always there. So naturally, after he told you he’d be coming back home, everything resurfaced. Only be the shattered again once he disappeared.

“Get over it,” You sigh, changing into an oversized t-shirt Mark left at your house last time he visited, a couple of years ago or so. You don’t even bother drying your hair, too tired with everything to deal with the task, and just throw yourself in your bed, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram.

Until you see the familiar notification.

marktuan started a live video. Watch it before it ends!

You sit up rather quickly, phone almost flying out of your hand with the abruptness of it all. His face takes all of the screen and there is a smile on his face, mischievous, almost childish. You feel overwhelmed– confused, happy, anguished,– it all comes forth in a second upon hearing his laughter. It’s embarrassing to admit, but you almost miss it– you almost don’t catch the red chair he’s sitting on, one that is freakishly similar to the one in the room across from your window. You heart is pounding on your chest, mind reeling with even the slightest possibility, and when, only when, you see a white fluff jumping onto his lap, Milo’s bark echoing from you phone at the same time you hear it from the neighboring house, you get up, screaming in shock.

“Ah, she’s here, everybody,” He chuckles, looking to the side, and you know he’s looking through his window to try and catch a glimpse of you. “I just heard her scream from her room.”

He’s here. He is in Los Angeles. And he’s been ignoring you even though you’re just a few feet away. Oh… oh, you are fuming.

Marching to your window, you pull your curtains open, and violently open the window, allowing the chill air of California’s night take over you. Your voice echoes from your phone when you finally shout out to him.

“MARK TUAN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

“Oh my god,” He laughs, throwing his head back, and this time, you see him through his window. “Y/N, there are kids watching this!”

“I swear to god, Tuan, once I put my hands around your neck I am going to kill you!” He is looking at you know, hand over his mouth to cover his shocked expression, but you see it in his eyes– the resurfacing childish glee that shines behind the adultness in his face. He goes to his own window, leaning forward, and if he just stretched his arm out, your could reach for his hand. 

“Long time no see, Y/L/N,” He winks, and you reach out, stretching so far out that you could’ve fallen if not for his hand stoping you. “Y/N, wait– no, don’t; jesus, we haven’t done this in a while... Use the front door like a normal person, woman!”

“I’m going to jump,” You warn him, legs swinging over and getting in position. “And if I still can do it, if I don’t die in the process… you should run.”

“Wait, wait, wa–“ His whole torso is out of the window, arms out to grab you once you are within reach. He embraces you to pull you inside, like he did when you were kids. Your hands grab his windowsill on the inside, feet landing on the outside wall, and together you two get you into his room. “Are you insane?! Y/N, we are old!”

“Oh no, mister,” You don’t even care that, right now, millions of people from all around the world are watching you threaten your best friend. You don’t care that millions of people have just watched you enter him room through his window. You don’t care about anything right now… anything but Mark. “You are dead.”

You punch him in the arm, and you know that the pained face and gasp are all for show– you could feel his muscles with every punch, every slap, every touch.

“You see this, guys?” Mark looks at the camera, hair falling in his face as he dodges away from you. “She will kill me! Aghase, help me!”

“Aghase will understand me,” You snarl, getting closer. “Once they find out that you’ve been here all this time and never told me!”

“I got back home this morning!” He holds your hands above your head, body glued to his. “I just got here!”

“Then you had a whole day to tell me about it and you didn’t!” One hand frees itself and grabs his shoulder, shaking him in despair.

“Mom!” He shouts, laughing as you lost your mind. “Mom, help! Dad!”

“They’re not coming,” You tell him, struggling to free yourself. “Your parents left with mine for dinner an hour ago. You’re all mine, Tuan.”

And he softens, out of nowhere; his arms, his shoulder, his smile. It all softens, and, slowly, he lets go of your hands, using the end of his grasp on you to pull you to a warm embrace; one so familiar and fitting that all your worries just vanish, and you sense that it’s not just you. The way his head falls on top of yours, kissing your hair; the way his arms are tight, like two vines around you; the way his chest heaves because it can finally breath fresh air– Mark is home.

“I missed you,” Your voice is gurgled from unshed tears, and with your damp hair and barely there shorts, you sure look crazy. “Mark, I missed you so much, why did you–“

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, a weak chuckle leaving him. “I’m sorry, bug. I promise I’ll never do that again.”

“Aghase,” You call out, looking at the computer. “You are watching this, right? Next time he disappears, I’m gonna count on all of you to find him.”

You see all the comments popping go the screen and your curiosity gets the best of you, but when you pull away to go try and read them, Mark whines and pulls you back to him.

“No,” He mumbles, voice hoarse on your neck. “Not yet.”

“The world it watching us, you big baby,” You roll your eyes. “At least tell them something!”

“Aghase!” He shouts, frustration clear in his voice. “We’ve accomplished our mission! Operation Surprise Y/N is complete!”

More comments pop up but he is quick to wave them goodbye and shut the browser down. When he turns back to look at you, his eyes travel from yours, down to the shirt that brings a smirk of recognition to his face, and then to your legs, naked and vulnerably to the chill air.

“Everything is the same,” You say, breaking the silence, too anxious and nervous now that he is here, right in front of you. He looks so different from how you see him in the screen of your phone; so tall, so real. His hair is brown again, like it used to be when you were kids, and his eyes still do that thing when he smiles, that shinny glint of innocent mischief with the creases in the sides. But what’s so different, you finally notice, is how happy he looks to be home– how relaxed and at ease he finally is. All the times he’d been back it was rushed, always fast and busy; interviews with American broadcasting programs or modeling gigs with magazines would take all of his time. Now, though… now he stands in childhood room, looking at you, as if he has all the time in the world to do so, because, well, he does.

“I know,” Mark shoves his hands in his pockets, slowly walking to you. “It’s weird, right? Nothing’s changed.”

“Nothing’s changed,” You nod, sitting in his bed. You look around, memories of you two in that same room flooding your mind. “Wait… you just got here, right? Where’s your stuff?”

Mark looks around, too, surprised that you even noticed. “Oh… I’m not– I moved somewhere else.”

“Wha–“ You try to move, but Mark is quicker, and he sits down next to you– one arm around your waist keeping you glued to him. Your head falls on his shoulder with a defeated thud and you don’t understand… “You just got back.”

“So what?” He look at you with a frown. “I still need somewhere to live, and–“

“What I mean is that you just got back,” You mumble, turning your body to throw your legs over his; thighs laying on top of his and head nuzzled in his neck. Your hands though, are tucked to your chest, and they slowly move so your fingers can grab the extra fabric of his t-shirt, holding it as if that is the only thing keeping him next to you– the only thing stopping him from leaving again. “At least stay here a bit, you know? Your mom missed you a lot, and your dad, too! They want to spent some time with their son, and I… I just missed seeing you everyday.”

“You can still see me everyday,” Mark’s hand moves your face up, forcing you to look at him. The closeness is enough to make you blush harder than the first time he kissed you; harder than when he made his promise. “I’ll still be here in L.A.”

“Yeah, but L.A. is huge,” You roll your eyes, blinking some tears back. “I don’t know how far you’ll be! Or– or why are you even choosing to live alone; I mean, I get that you shared a dorm for years but… but you just got back, Mark, and I don’t know, you could stay here with us for a while.”

“I’m not,” He chuckles, kissing your nose. “Living alone, I mean. Hopefully, you’ll move-in with me.”

“Me?!”

“Your dad mentioned you were looking into moving out when I called him a few weeks ago, and I don’t see why not,” He shrugs, pushing your hair behind your ear. “We would have a lot of fun.”

“You are almost thirty years old,” You sound as confused as you probably look. “And you want to live with your best friend?”

“No,” Mark shakes his head, fishing out a set of keys from his pocket and dangling it in front of your face. When you try to grab it, he pulls it back. “I want to live with my girlfriend.”

“Mark,” You look at him, heart speeding up with the proximity. “Don’t you think you skipped a few steps there, buddy?”

“I don’t think so,” He smile, moving forward to peck your lips and pull back, leaving you craving for more, lips brushing against yours as he continues to speak. “I made a promise, after all; this is just me making good on that promise. Now, yes or no?”

“Just like that?” You mumble, moving to kiss his lips, too, and he smiles wide. “Yes or no?”

“Just like that, baby,” And it feels like a game, this light kissing, this barely touching, this whispered words. It feels like he is baiting you, and if this is what awaits for you in the future, then you are more than happy to fall into his trap.

“Obviously yes.”

Nothing about this kiss is desperate or intense or hungry. In fact, the laziness of it all, the slow push and pull makes it so much more than you could’ve ever remember; it’s all so Mark and your whole body calls for his, pulling him closer, laughing in excitement. He is back. He is yours.

After a while of this, he pulls his phone out of his pocket, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“You’re going to stream this?” You whisper at him, eyes wide and body recoiling.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” He groans, and that noise does something to you that has you closing your eyes and shivering. “I’m just texting our parents.”

“Why?”

“To tell them they can come back.”

“They knew?” You shoot up from where you are laying in his bed, arms hugging him from behind as you hide your face in his back. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing…”

“Of course they knew,” Mark scoffs at you. “I was going to ask you to marry me, then I though I should maybe start off slower, but I already talked to your dad about it.”

“What?!”

“Oh yeah,” He smirks, turning his head to kiss you deeply. “Expect a proposal in like, six months or something like that.”

“Mark–“

“Did she say yes?” A voice comes from the phone and you both look to where six heads are trying to fit into one screen. “Hyung, did you get dumped?”

“Uh, no, I did not get dumped, Bam,” Mark sighs, and gives you the phone. You’ve only met the guys briefly, but you, Yugyeom and Bambam had proven to be quite similar, and you laugh upon seeing the youngsters dab their excitement away.

“Hey guys!” You wave, moving to Mark’s lap so that they can see both of you. The tasing continues until your parents come home and then they just carry on where the boys left off, making jokes and complaining about the apparent delay in this relationship.

Somehow, going to sleep is hard. Your mind is still spinning from all that just happened, but when Mark jumps in through your open window and lays next to you, you know that no matter how confused you are, he’ll always be there to help you understand things a little better.

“I’m so excited to show you the apartment tomorrow,” He says, cuddling next to you. “Maybe that’ll be my first video for the YouTube channel.”

“Hm,” You turn in his arms, looking deep into his eyes. “I still think Bambam’s idea is better.”

“Y/N, don’t–“

“You should definitely play The Sims4 for your first video.”

And that’s when it hits you.

No matter how far away Mark is; no matter how busy he might be– Mark will always make time for the ones he loves. So no matter how sad goodbyes are, they are not forever… not with Mark Tuan.

----------------------------

First one of the series! How about it? What do you think? Let me know :D I’m excited to see Mark’s career take off in the US. Once again, thanks for the support lovelies, it means the world for me <3

[astxroiid]

What It’s Like

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Fandom: YouTube

Pairing: Ethan Nestor x Reader

Word Count: 1,623

Warnings: a short moment of angst, crying,

Summary: Y/N invites Ethan, her roommate, to come play Mario Kart and eat takeout with her after his Twitch stream.

Author’s Note: This is just a quick little thing I thought about the last night! Am I procrastinating to keep from writing those series? Yes. Yes I am. [thank you @soft-haas16 for proof reading and giving me feedback! Ur the best <3]

Tags: @bigdickdaddysatan , @staxryskxes , @soft-haas16 , @cas-loves-pizza

Masterlist // Read Before Requesting

(GIF NOT MINE)

Ethan sat in his gaming chair in front of his monitors spinning side to side as he read the chat that was gliding up one of his screens.

“Spidie-cents, thank you for the bits!” He calls, eyes still following the words coming in.

He’d had an average day, nothing too outstanding and interesting about it. So why not spice things up with a surprise stream?

“When am I playing Among Us again? I don’t know. Hopefully sometime soon. I’ve been trying to get a lobby going with Seán, Corpse, Chris, and the rest of the usual bunch.”

He takes a sip of his water and checks his phone real quick. Nothing. He sighs and sets it back on the table, looking up at the chat.

“Are me and Y/N dating?” 

Ethan becomes visibly uncomfortable at the question. “Uh, no. We just live together. Not dating.”

Chat goes wild, teasing him and asking a thousand more questions.

Ethan struggles with reading while the chat is going so fast. Only making out different ship names and heart emotes.

“Guys. Guys. Calm down. I can’t read chat.���

There’s a soft knock on his recording room door. “Yeah?” Ethan calls out. You step in, looking slightly shy and nervous. The stream can’t see you, which your thankful for. But they can see the way Ethan is looking at you. Smiling with loving eyes and excitement running through him.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, am I interrupting?” You ask, concerned.

“Oh. No, your fine. What do you need?” He reassures

“Well, I was gonna see if - when your stream ends - you would want to come play some Mario Kart with me? And maybe order some takeout?” You’re fidgeting with your hands, trying to maintain eye contact.

Ethan smiles warmly and nods enthusiastically. “Yes! Totally. I’m ending my stream in about an hour,” he checks his phone for the time, “is that okay?”

You grin. “It’s perfect. Thank you. I can’t wait.”

Ethan expresses the same feelings before you both say goodbye and you leave the room, giddily preparing to order food.

✩ ✩ ✩

Ethan comes downstairs after his stream, excited for a game night with you.

You’re sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone. You’re wearing a pair of dark grey sweatpants that you might or might not have stolen from Ethan, a black spaghetti strap shirt, and a silver chain necklace Ethan had gotten you for your birthday last year.

He smiles at the memory of you opening the box he’d been holding behind his back, gasping and giggling and completely at a loss for words.

You struggled for a few minutes trying to find a way and thank him for such a beautiful piece of jewelry.

You look up from your phone and smile wide. “Hey,” you greet, “whatcha smiling about?”

Ethan looks into your eyes. “Nothing, just thinking about your birthday present I got you.”

You absentmindedly reach for the chain resting on your chest and play with it, smiling.

“Thank you, again.”

He shakes his head, grinning, and saunters over to the couch. Ethan flops down beside you, placing his arm behind your shoulders on the back of the couch.

He slides down slightly, spreading his knees and rubbing a thumb on your shoulder bone opposite him.

Chills cover your body at every little gesture Ethan does. Especially the way his arm is around you and his thigh is pressed flat against yours. Your cheeks heat up and you pretend to focus on your phone.

“U-uh the food should be here soon. In ten minutes maybe,” you look over at Ethan.

He looks back at you, a goofy smile on his face. “Nice,” he squeezes your body against his with his arm and rests the side of his head on top of yours.

You start to get ready for a round of Mario Kart, choosing your characters and load outs and then moving on to which cup you should play.

“What cup do you wanna play?” You look over to Ethan.

“Well, I believe there’s only one good answer - the greatest cup out of the entire game.”

“The Star Cup.”

“The Bell Cup.”

You both blurt at the same time.

“What?” You ask incredulously.

“Star Cup?!” Ethan looks at you, shocked.

“What do you mean ‘Star Cup’? It’s the best one! It’s got Dolphin Shoals - which is hands down the best map in the game, Mount Wario, and Sunshine Airport. That’s the big three all in one cup!” You flop your hand to your thighs for dramatic effect.

“No. No. No. No. See, I hate to break it to you - but that’s where you’re wrong.”

You raise a questioning eyebrow and cross your arms over your chest.

“The best map on the game is Wild Woods, but the rest of the maps on the Crossing Cup suck. So that leaves Ribbon Road, Super Bell Subway, and Big Blue which are a trifecta of greatness.”

You shake your head. Before you can retort - there’s a knock on the door. The food has arrived. You thank the delivery person and grab the food, taking it to the living room and sorting out your’s and Ethan’s food.

“At least we can agree that Bowser’s Castle is the absolute worst,” you say, setting Ethan’s box in front of him. He nods his head, agreeing.

“Yes. Definitely.”

You both decide on Ethan’s Bell Cup first, eating your food and goofing the whole time.

✩ ✩ ✩

Halfway through the night Ethan realizes that he’s losing. In a desperate attempt to redeem himself; he snakes an arm around you and begins to tickle your side.

You jolt upward, almost throwing your controller while trying to fight him off.

“E-Ethan!” You cackle. “St-op!”

While you’re distracted, Ethan manages to send a blue shell your way and slowly crawl his way up to first.

You press the pause button and catch your breath. You both set your controllers on the coffee table and look at each other.

You’re panting and smiling at the goofy man next to you. “That... was so... unfair,” you accuse breathlessly.

“You never told me to play fair,” Ethan states like the five year old he is, smiling like a dork.

You roll your eyes and get up to throw your box of food away. Before you can get to it, there’s a hand gently in yours, pulling you towards him.

You crash into Ethan’s lap, giggling. “Lemme put my food in the trash,” you look up at him.

“In a minute,” Ethan looks down at you, pulling you closer to his chest - hugging you. You bury your face into his shirt, inhaling his scent. Your body relaxes into him and you smile to yourself.

This is all you could ever want in life. You and Ethan, holding each other, at peace. Then reality sets in. And you realize that you couldn’t be truly happy like this. Just friends.

All this is - is one friend holding another friend. And that’s all it’ll ever be. No ‘I love You’s. No kisses. No holding each other in bed every night. Just friends being friends.

You feel tears welling in your eyes and you try and hold them back but before you can Ethan pulls back to look at your face, smiling.

His face falls at the sight of yours, being replaced by fear and concern.

“Hey. Hey, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” He grabs your face, looking into your eyes.

A tear slips down your cheek and you shake you head but Ethan knows better. “No. Talk to me. What’s wrong?” He asks again.

You take a deep breath and move his hands from your face. “I—” you start but decide against it. Having no idea how to tell him. And do you really want to ruin your friendship?

Ethan’s eyes plead with you and there’s no way you can refuse him.

“It’s just,” you take a deep breath. “I don’t think I can do this,” you admit gently.

“Do what?” Ethan asks, concerned.

“Be just friends with you. It hurts too much to keep going,” another tear slips out. “I see you every day and I’m filled with this overwhelming sense of loss. And the pain in my chest everytime you look at me is so overbearing and I can’t keep putting myself through this every single day,” you look away from him, closing your eyes tight.

“Especially when I know you don’t feel the same. That’s the worst part about it, Eef. Knowing you’ll never feel the same,” you collapse into his chest, crying.

Ethan places a hand on your back, moving the other to the base of your skull and kisses the top you your head.

“Hey,” he says, softly. “Look at me.”

You look into his eyes, your own red and puffy.

“Who said I’d never feel the same?”

“What?” Your face contorts in confusion.

“Y/N, I’ve felt that exact way about you for so long. You have no idea...”

Your heart melts and you smile. “Really?” You wipe a tear from your cheek.

Ethan uses his thumb to wipe away your other tears and smiles. “Yes. Really.”

He slowly starts to lean in and you grin. “I think I do have an idea of what it was like.”

Your lips connect and move together in a sweet dance of love and tender longing.

You pull away and giggle, pressing your forehead against his.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him to the side, laying with him on the couch. You kiss him for longer this time with more intent.

“Can I go throw away my food now?” You almost whisper.

“As long as you take mine with you.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Ty guys for reading! And for 300 followers!! Ahh words can’t express how thankful I am for you guys <3333!

[eternal-armin]

saying goodbye was never part of the plan. [part 1]

//sorry for not uploading as much. this should be expected pretty much all days because of work and school im sorry xx. love from wyatt and pet squirrel harriette

before reader succumbs to the throes of incurable disease, armin grants their last desire of seeing the ocean one last time.

armin gently caressed the back of your hand, blue eyes dulled as they stared into nothingness, looking at everything but seeing nothing. never before had he felt so numb, so far from life and everything in it. your chest gently rose and fell as you breathed, a delicate process that it hurt him to see. it would cease soon.

armin couldn't bear that thought.

he had never wanted to say goodbye to the magical times you spent together, to the laughter you shared, the embraces, even the tears you shed with him. he was naive enough to think that you would never die, that he wouldn't either. of course, after erwin's death and his own transformation, his years had been numbered. fate must have thought it funny to tear you away first. you, his seashell, who had been so healthy for so long. all the regular medical examinations required for the military didn't find anything.

was there anything that they could have done?

"armin..?" your weakened voice asked, wavering with heavy worry.

he looked up at you, almost surprised to hear you. armin summoned a small smile, hoping that you wouldn't know the suffocating thoughts in his mind. it was a vain hope. you knew him inside and out, just as he knew you.

you returned his smile, yet even that drained you of energy. "i'm scared too," you said. such a simple three words had so many emotions that they canceled each other out. "it'll be okay. we'll see each other again." the sureness in your voice, quiet but noticeable, provided at least a small amount of comfort. "if i had any say in things, i would never leave you. you know that, right..?"

armin pressed his hand to his mouth, trying not to cry. he nodded slightly, still trying to keep up the fake smile. "i-i know, seashell. i know." he squeezed your hand gently. a slight flash of fear glinted in his eyes. he was still so worried that one touch would make you shatter in his arms. you had already done that. shards can't break that much further, can they?

you could vividly remember the day you knew you were going to die. pain and rashes were chalked up to bad clothing and dermatitis. headaches, blurred vision, and seizures finally brought some attention to your case. after spending hours waiting, steeping in an anxiety so heavy that expeditions couldn't rival it, you finally got answers. for the first time, answers were the worst thing you could ever get. you could remember bursting into tears, armin's arms holding you close, all your hope and happiness draining from your body so quickly it felt like you never had it. the symptoms that had gone unnoticed were going to be your downfall, and by now, there was nothing that could be done. any feasible surgery was so risky you were better off not going under the knife. medications numbed the pain, but didn't stop the spread. the technology that eldia had was just not enough. it was addicting to act like you were resigned to your drugged-up and numbed fate, but you didn't want to die.

you never wanted to die.

you didn't have a choice.

"i am scared, though, [y/n].. and i know you are too. i- i can see it. it's okay to be scared." armin was unsure if he was advising you or himself. seeing your once shining eyes eclipsed by death was horribly painful. armin would fight the world and give up everything he had so you wouldn't look like that anymore. so the light in your eyes would be that of dreams, and not that of the windows; so the color they once had was as vivid as it had once been. so that they could look at the sunset over the ocean instead of at the dull wooden ceiling. your dreams wouldn't just disappear, right...? he couldn't stand the idea that all of your thoughts would disappear, your aspirations, everything you loved and strived to be, it would all be dead. the specific joy and light you brought to the world would be snuffed out without any mercy.

armin prayed that it would at least be painless.

you forced a weak laugh. "yeah. i am." your voice wavered slightly. "before... can we visit the shore again?" you asked, managing the energy to look your lover in the eyes. "if i'm gonna go anywhere for the last time, i want it to be there." you tried your best to pick the words delicately. as much for armin's sake as yours. all the memories you two shared there, from your first date to now your last. it had been your favorite place since you were both fifteen.

it had been ten years. ten blissful years, filled with love and life and endless happiness on the shore of the ocean.

"o-oh, seashell, of course we can. of course we can." the floodgates broke, a few tears streaming down armin's pale cheeks. he pressed a kiss to your hand, trying with everything he had not to cry as hard as he wanted to. "we can go wherever you want, sweetheart. i'll bring you anywhere in the world." the broken promise in his voice made your heart ache.

your lower lip quivered. armin pulled you into his arms, holding you close.

the gentle shield around you made you feel safe enough to cry again.

[ma3fiore]

Just A Black Coffee

Warning(s) ⇾ profanity, 

Pairing ⇾ kuroo x gn!reader

Genre ⇾ fluff and some angst, college au,  mini-series

WC ⇾ 3.1k

Summary ⇾ You just got out of a toxic relationship and now you need a new place to stay. Your friend just so happens to know someone who’s looking for a roommate who can help out with the rent for the apartment.

AN: @luv4sakusa​ wanted to be included in my story so bad so I put her in 😒

j.a.b.c master list || next chapter

Ch. 1: New Encounters 

It was two in the morning, you and your boyfriend were in a heated argument. You had just caught him cheating on you, but he was trying to deny it. “Why won’t you just fucking admit it!” Your throat was hurting from screaming so much. “I saw you on the couch with her and you dare to tell me that it was nothing!” Truth be told, you had known for a while now that something was going on, but you were in denial. You didn’t want to believe that your boyfriend of five years would do something like that. Yet here you are right now, confronting him. “Omg, you’re overreacting. I was just--” you cut him off “YOU WHAT? HUH? YOU TRIPPED AND YOUR TONGUE ACCIDENTALLY SLIPPED INTO HER MOUTH?” You didn’t want to start crying, yet your body said otherwise. He stared at you in silence before you stomped off to the bedroom. 

“Y/n what are you doing?” “Isn't it obvious? I’m packing my shit and breaking up with you.” You were shoving your things into your suitcase not bothering to fold any of your clothes. He scoffs, “Really? Where are you gonna go then?” “Anywhere without you seems good.” You had no clue where to go, all you knew was that you didn’t want to be near Daisho for another second. 

You zipped up your suitcase and pushed past him. He forcefully grabbed your arm causing you to turn around. “You can’t just leave me y/n,” he says almost menacingly. “I think I fucking can when I have a pretty valid reason.” You yanked your arm away from him and walked out of the apartment leaving him alone with the girl. As soon as you were out, you felt a sense of relief, but that soon went away as you realized that those five years you spent together were nothing. And your heart starts to ache even more the further you walk away. 

_______________________________________________

You were sat on a park bench, the autumn winds nipping at your nose. You looked at your phone and the time read 2:31 am. ‘I shouldn’t have left while it was this cold’ You go to your contacts and call your best friend Abby. “Y/n?” she says in a raspy voice. “What’s wrong, why are you up right now?” You sigh before telling her everything that happened. 

“So, yea I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a bit.” “Bitch of course you can! Fuck Daisho, his bitch-ass doesn’t deserve you.” You chuckle at her string of curses. “I’ll be over soon.” “Okayyy be safe.” 

You were thankful for having a friend like Abby. You stood up from the bench and made your way over to her apartment. You needed to start finding a place for yourself soon because you didn’t want to mooch off of your friend for too long. You knew she wouldn’t mind having you stay, but you didn’t want to be too much of a burden because she lived in a pretty small space. You got on the bus that led to her address and looked up some websites for apartment listings to pass the time.

_______________________________________________

By the time you arrived at her place, it was already 3 am. You knocked on her door waiting for her to come and open it. You wait there for a few minutes before the door slowly cracks open. “Hey hun,” she says with her eyes partially open. She invites you in and leads you to the living room to set your things down. 

“You can put your suitcase over here and there are some toiletries in the closet if you need them.” “Thanks, Abby, you’re the best.” “Of course,  you know I’d do anything for you.” “Yea I know.” “So how ya holdin’ up?” You stared at her in silence for a moment trying to recollect your thoughts. You thought you had cried it all out while you sat in the park earlier, so you were surprised when you felt tears streaming down your face. 

You didn’t want to cry over this anymore, but your emotions got the better of you. You held your head in your hands and kept sobbing, unable to stop the emotions from pouring out. Abby came over to your side and hugged you. She didn’t say anything. She just let you cry it out until you were able to compose yourself. Deep down she always had a bad feeling about Daisho ever since the day you announced you two were dating. She just didn’t want to say anything because you were so happy. To her, it felt like she was overstepping her boundaries. 

“Ok, I think I’ve cried about this enough for today.” “Well shit, I thought I was gonna have to hear you cry until class started.” You chuckled. “Oh shut up.” “I think it’s time we both go to bed, otherwise we’ll pass out from sleep deprivation in class.” She gets up and brings you some pillows and blankets. She bids you goodnight before going back to her room. You were glad she went back to her room because you didn’t want her to see you crying still. You felt bad that you called her so late so you told her to go to bed. You spent that night crying until you finally fell asleep.  

_______________________________________________

You woke up at 7 am, eyes still sore from all the crying you did. You felt so drained, but you had to get up and get ready for your classes. Getting up from the couch, you fold the blankets and place them neatly to the side. You open your suitcase and take out your clothes and some toiletries before heading off to the bathroom. 

You saw your reflection in the mirror and were startled at the image before you. Eyes all red and puffy and hair all tangled and sticking up. ‘Yikes,’ you thought. You quickly detangle your hair and wait for the shower to heat up. 

When you get out, you quickly dry yourself off and change into a fresh pair of clothes. After getting dressed and drying your hair, you met Abby at the kitchen for breakfast. 

“You gonna be okay going to school?” she questions while grabbing two plates, placing one in front of you. You take a seat at the counter and fix yourself some of the food she prepared. “I’m not gonna let this whole break up ruin my studies alright. I just have to hold myself together during the day and break down when I get home,” you say with a strained smile. She rolls her eyes at your remark and takes the seat next to you.

“I swear if I see him I’m gonna--” you interrupt, “You’re going to walk away and not cause any drama.” She looks at you with an unamused face. “I’m serious, I don’t want any drama. I said what I said and I have no reason to talk to him anymore.” She turns back to her food before responding. “Okay fine.” You shake your head as you see the look of disappointment on her face. “I’ll be fine, promise.” 

You two finished up your food and grabbed your things for school. Both of you rushed to the train station so you wouldn’t be late for class. You were still in anguish over the events that happened, but you were trying your hardest to ignore those feelings so you could focus on your studies. You were anxious about running into him because you felt like you would start crying again if you did. You didn’t want to have a whole breakdown in school. 

You pushed all those thoughts in the back of your head as you reached the front of the school. “I have my club meeting after school so you’re gonna be going home by yourself.” “That’s fine I have my part-time job today.” You bid your goodbyes as the both of you head to your respective classes. 

_______________________________________________

You head to the back of the classroom and take a seat. You didn’t feel like socializing with anyone at the moment. Mainly because you didn’t want anyone to notice how red your eyes were. You had tried to cover it up as best as you could but to no avail. You decided to look for more apartment listings as you wait for the professor to come to class. All the ones you found were either too expensive or looked like they would fall apart the second you walked in. Finally, the professor walks in and begins the class. 

You barely paid attention during the lecture. You were so tired from basically having zero hours of sleep and stressing out over how you were going to find a place to live. You weren’t that close with anyone in your class so you couldn’t even ask them for help. You had zoned out for the majority of the class.  The only thing that you obtained from the lecture was that you had a research paper due in the two weeks that was worth 25% of your grade. 

You feel a buzz from your phone and you look down to see what it was. 

*Message from Abby*

Abby: “Hey y/n, I just wanted to let you know my boyfriend is coming over later to hang, but don’t worry we won’t make you a third wheel :)”

Y/n: “If I walk in on both you being whores, I’ll kick you out of your apartment--”

Abby: “Whatever”

You turn your phone off and try to pay attention to the last ten minutes of the lecture. 

_______________________________________________

School was finally over and you quickly met with Abby to tell her that you might be coming home late because you had to cover for your coworker. “Okay, just remember to be safe, you never know what sketchy ass guy is gonna be around.” “Don’t worry I know how to take care of myself. I didn’t take those self-defense classes for no reason.”  She waves goodbye as she heads over to meet with her club. 

You walked over to the convenience store where you worked that was only a couple of blocks away from your school. You liked taking the night shifts because it was usually the least busy and it meant you could do some homework. That being said, you also had your fair share of creeps and drunks. You had bought pepper spray just in case anything happens. Though you hoped that you wouldn’t have to use it. 

When you arrived, the worker there got up to leave so you could take over. You didn’t have much to do. Your main tasks consisted of restocking shelves, mopping the floors, and managing the register. When it was just you in the store it kind of felt peaceful. Sometimes you’d just observe the people who walk by and other times you’d be lost in thought. However this time, you wanted to be away from your thoughts. You tried to put on some music to drown out your thoughts. For a while, it was working until you saw your ex walking hand in hand with the girl he cheated on you with. You were enraged at the sight. How could he move on so easily, while you were still stuck on it? Were you overreacting? Were you the only one who cared about the relationship? All these negative thoughts started to flood in. You were brought back to reality when you heard the bell from the door ring, signaling that a customer was there. You quickly brush off those thoughts and greet the customer. The last hour and a half went into cleaning the floors and doing a little bit of homework.  

By the time you finished your shift, the sun had completely disappeared. Although you were confident in your self-defense skills, you would still be nervous about walking home alone. You made sure that you had your pepper spray with you before locking up. You quickly shoot Abby a text saying that you were done with work and were on your way to the apartment. 

_______________________________________________

 Upon your arrival home, you were greeted by a very loud and energetic guy, who you assumed to be Abby’s boyfriend. You were caught off guard by his liveliness, especially since it was pretty late. “Y/n, this is Bokuto, my boyfriend.” “Bo, this my friend that I was talking to you about.” You exchanged hellos before you went to the bathroom to freshen up. 

“Y/n I just solved all your problems,” your best friend announces to you as you exit the bathroom. “Uh how exactly?” you question with one eyebrow raised. “Bo, tell her” she nudges her boyfriend. You sat down next to them on the couch waiting for his response. “So, Abby told me how you’re looking for a place and I happen to know someone who’s looking for a roommate to share the rent.” Your eyes lit up immediately. “Omg really?!” you ask in excitement. “Yup, I can--” you interrupt “I’ll take it.” Both of them were startled by your immediate acceptance. 

“Damn y/n, you hate me that much.” You roll your eyes at her remark. “You know that’s not the reason why I wanna leave.” You turn back to Bokuto to ask who this person is just to make sure it wasn’t some sketchy weirdo. “He’s a friend of mine from high school, he goes to the same college as us. He’s a marketing major.” “Okay, he seems fine.” “Yea, I’ll tell him that you’re interested, and I can set up a time for you guys to get acquainted.” You were kind of excited to meet your potential new roommate. You just hoped that he wasn’t going to be an asshole like your ex. “Thanks so much, Bokuto.” “No problem y/n” he flashes a friendly smile. 

After a few hours of hanging out with each other, Bokuto had to go. Before leaving he gave you the address of the apartment, Kuroo’s contact information, and his own. He said he would tell you when Kuroo would be able to meet with you. “Aren’t you glad to have such an amazing friend like me?” she asks smugly. “Uhh if I’m not mistaken it was Bokuto who knows Kuroo not you.” you tease. “Okay, but who was the one who introduced you to him? Me exactly.” The both of you started laughing. “Ok, but seriously thank you for doing this. I’ll treat you to ramen sometime.” “You better.” 

_______________________________________________

A week has passed since that day, and Bokuto finally texted you saying that Kuroo was able to meet. You were waiting in anticipation. You were hoping that he didn’t already find someone else during that week of waiting. A wave of relief washed over you when you received Bokuto’s message with the details for the meeting. “So when are you seeing him?” she asks from the kitchen. “Today at 4.” You had about an hour to get ready. “Are you nervous?” “Yes and no,” you respond. “I just hope he doesn’t reject me,” you say while trying to pick out an outfit. “Bo said that he’d be fine with anyone as long as they’re able to pay the other half.” “Do you know anything about him?” you inquire hoping to get a little more information before meeting him. “The only thing Bo has told me is that they’ve known each other since high school and were rival teams for volleyball. Other than that, I’m as clueless as you.” You give her a slight nod. 

You finally picked out your outfit and went to go change. “Does this look okay?” She turns around to see what you had on. “Yea you look great.” You go back into the bathroom to look at yourself in the mirror one more time. “ARE YOU SURE?” you yell. “YES STOP WORRYING, YOU LOOK FINE!” she yells back. You leave the bathroom to grab your bag and head to the cafe. “Wish me luck,” you sigh. “Relax, it’s not a life or death situation,” she jokes. You wave goodbye and head over to the cafe, hoping that you wouldn’t arrive late.

_______________________________________________

You walk into the cafe scanning the area to see if he was there. You didn’t even know what he looked like so there was no point in trying to look. You feel a buzz from your pocket. You take your phone out to see a message from Kuroo.

Kuroo Tetsurō: “By the window.”

You look up to see a guy with spiky hair sitting by the window looking at you. You could feel his gaze piercing through you. Your heart started to race. You walked over hoping he wouldn’t notice how nervous you were. “Hey gorgeous,” he says with a smirk. “What’s your name?” His forwardness caught you off guard. “Uh I’m y/n,” you say as you took the seat across from him. “Can I get you something to drink?” he asks. “A black coffee is fine.” He gets up to order the drinks. As he gets up, you catch yourself admiring his looks but you quickly brush it off, especially when he’s going to be your future roommate. Besides you just got out of a relationship. Just as you brushed it off, he comes back with the drinks. 

“So why do you wanna be my roommate?” he asks you and you reply with “I just really need a place to live right now, I promise I’ll be a good roommate, and make sure to give the payments on time.” “Whoa whoa whoa there, I just asked for a reason not a whole life story,” he says in a teasing manner. You sit there, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry didn’t mean to embarrass you, sweetheart.” Little did he know that it made you feel even more flustered. “Uhmm it’s fine,” you reply. Trying to ease the conversation from what just happened, you say in a cocky manner, “So do you want me or not?” Causing a chuckle to escape his lips. 

“This is going to be interesting.”

[yeootinyy]

Genre: Smut 18+

Johnny x Fem reader

Wordcount: 3831

Secret crush

At 10 am water was streaming out of the showerhead. It was a pleasant temperature. Not that cold where you start shivering, and not hot enough to burn the skin. Still you felt the water with your hand to check if it was the right temperature, before stepping under the stream. You could stand under there for hours. However, because you had planned to visit your best friends, you could not take too long.

After getting out of the shower and drying yourself, you put your hair up in a bun and wrapped a towel around your body. Walking over to your dresser in your room, you picked out some underwear, leggings, black ankle socks and a colourful hoodie. You loved walking around in comfortable clothes, and you did not really care who saw you wearing them. You would not even care if the president saw you wearing those clothes.

After getting dressed, you decided to put on some makeup. Your best friends had seen you without makeup many times, but you just felt like doing it today. To not make it too overwhelming, you decided to just do a natural look with a light coat of foundation, brown and orange eyeshadow, a little eyeliner and mascara. When you finished your makeup, your hair had started to dry up a little. After blow drying it, you curled it because you just wanted to. There was no big reason for that.

By now the clock was almost 12, and it's was time meet your friends soon. As if on que, your phone started ringing. Smiling because you knew who it was before checking, you picked up the phone and answered. "Hello" you said, wating for an answer. "Are you here soon?" it said in the other end of the phone. "We are starting to get bored over here". You laughed a little before answering, "yeah, I'm almost done".

"Well hurry and pack your bags! We can't wait to see you again" the person answered. You could hair faint screaming in the background, but you were unable to make out what was said. "Don't worry Haechan, I'm almost done". He answered with a sound confirming what you said. "Well, see you soon then" Haechan said in an excited tone. "See you soon" you answered before hanging up and packing what you needed for a sleep over.

About 15 minutes later you had packed everything. After putting on some shoes and a jacket, you went out and locked your apartment door. Walking over to the elevator, your excitement was getting stronger. When you stepped into the elevator, you started thinking about what you were going to do over at their dorm.

You were still thinking when you reached the first floor and walked out of the front doors. As expected, a black car stood there wating for you. Because the location of NCT's dorm was supposed to be private, you were always picked up by their manager or some other staff. The risk of fans seeing your car near the dorm building was too great. The fans did know about you, and some of them even found out where you usually park your car. Therefore it was risky for you to drive on your own.

Stepping into the car, you expected it to be a staff member driving. This time you got a surprise when you looked up and found someone else's face in front of you. Doyoung sat there smiling at you, your eyes just widened. "It's good to see you Y/n" he said, still smiling. You were flustered and could not get a single word out, you just nodded as an answer.

Someone else's laugh got your attention, and another face popped up in front of you. "Why are you so surprised Y/n?" Johnny said with a bright smile. "I just didn't expect you to be sitting in this car" you finally managed to answer them. "Yeah, we could see that from your expression" Johnny said and laughed once again.

Doyoung then proceeded to start the car, and drive over to the dorm building. "Wow, I didn't know you could drive Doyoung" you said a little surprised. "Well, now you know" he answered while focusing on the driving. The car ride was silent, except for the music that played through the speakers. You looked out the window enjoying the ride, and before you knew it you were parked near their dorm.

"Well, we're here!" Doyoung said, after stopping the car. Johnny opened the door for you, and you just smiled at him, picking up your bag before stepping out. You walked straight for their front door, which caused you to not see that Doyoung bumped his shoulder to Johnny's and smiling mischieviously. You were now a step away from the door, and you could hear voices inside. One of them was Chenle shouting, "she's here!". A tall figure opened, and Winwin stood there greeting you. "Winwin! Hii!" you said before hugging him. Once you stepped inside you were greeted by all the others. Haechan seemed the most excited, and did not want to let go of your hug.

When you first got to know the nct members, you became the closest with the dream members because they were the closest to your own age. Slowly after that you got introduced to the others, and now you are close with all of them. You can thank your older brother who made this friendship happen. He invited you to come to the entertainment one day, and that was when you first saw them. Your brother and nct were good friends, so it was quite easy for you to start talking to them, and eventually develop a friendship with them.

Once you finished greeting everyone, it was time to find out where you would be sleeping. "So, where do I sleep?" you asked looking at everybody. You noticed Haechan and Jeno looked at each other and nodded, as if they had planned something the others did not know about. "What about having a sleepover in the living room?" Jeno asked you. Your face lit up, signalling you liked the suggestion. They looked at each other again, feeling proud knowing that you would love the thought about a sleepover. "I would love that!" you said excitedly.

"Well now that we've settled that, what about playing some games?" Yuta asked. Of course everyone agreed, and you ended up playing a Nintendo Switch game. After a few hours of playing, Taeyong, Kun, Doyeong and Chenle decided to start making dinner. In the meantime it was your turn to play against Jaemin. The both of you were very concentrated on the Mario Kart game. Your character got closer and closer to the finish line, and as the victory music was playing, your hands shot up in the air still holding the controller.

"Hah! I won!" you said and danced a little victory dance. Jaemin first narrowed his eyes at you, and then proceeded to laugh with you. Johnny also looked at you, making that one-sided smile. You danced for a solid minute before sitting down and looking at Johnny. "Do you wanna play next?" you said smiling at him. He just nodded at you and took the other controller.

Ten minutes later you sat there, being completely silent. Johnny just looked at you curiously, not saying anything. "I didn't know you were this good at the game" you said looking down at the floor. Johnny laughed a little before touching your chin, moving your head to look up at him. "If you want, I can make it up to you later" he said and smirked. You felt your cheeks heat up, unsure of what he actually meant by making it up to you. That's when you heard Taeyong from the kitchen. "Dinner is ready everyone!" wasting no time, everyone moved over to the kitchen to get food. Because there were so many people, not everyone could eat in there, so people spread out in the dorm.

While eating, you were seated around the kitchen isle with the dream members. "So y/n.. What's the deal with you and Johnny?" Jaemin asked you smirking. Your food got caught in your throat, causing you to cough. "What are you talking about?" you asked dumbfounded after you stopped coughing.  "You know, the way he looked at you while you were playing.... The way he touched your chin earlier.." Mark started naming some good points to what had happened earlier.

Your face heated up again thinking about it. "Ooh see who's blushing" Haechan teased you. You smacked his shoulder before putting some food in your mouth. "He's looking over at you right now you know" Mark said, looking over at his direction. You looked over into the living room where Johnny and some of the other 127 members were seated. As Mark had said, he was looking at you, and the two of you made eye contact. You quickly looked away, and continued eating your food. Now, all of the dream members smirked at you.

••••••••• 4 hours later •••••••••

"It was so fun hanging out guys! We should get back to our dorm though" Kun said getting up from the floor. The other WayV members followed, and everyone told them goodbye before they left. Now it was only you, the dream members and the 127 members. "so you guys hare having a sleepover?" Johnny asked you and nct dream. "Yeah!" you answered excited.

"I bet he wants to join you" Doyoung said as he playfully hit Johnny's arm. "Well yeah, but only if everyone is okay with it" he said and looked at everyone for a response. Eventually the dream members agreed, and you got more excited than before. "This is gonna be so much fun!" you said jumping up an down holding Haechan's hands.

A little while later, the 127 members had left except for Johnny, and Mark and Haechan of course. Everyone was laying on matrasses on the floor, even though everyone had a room. Even you, because there was a spare room in the dorm. Laying there, you all told each other jokes and had fun until you fell asleep one by one.

For some reason you could not get yourself to fall asleep. However, you were not the only one. "Hey y/n?" Johnny whispered. He was laying to your left, but Jeno was in between you. "Yeah?" you whispered back. "Do you have trouble sleeping too?", he looked over at you now. "Yes", you turned to face him. Johnny slowly sat up, and told you to do the same by moving his arm. The two of you got up, he lead you to the spare room you usually used.

You were now inside the room, looking at each other. You could feel some kind of tension between you. Sitting down at the bed, you sighed. "How are you feeling?" Johnny asked sitting down next to you. "I'm doing okay, why?" you answered looking directly at him. The two of you studied each other's faces. "So you're not sulky about losing the game to me anymore?" he asked still looking at you.

As an answer you just shook your head. You had not noticed before that the two of you had moved your faces closer towards each other as you spoke. As if your bodies were operated on autopilot, your lips eventually touched, and the two of you closed your eyes enjoying the feeling. Once the two of you backed away again, Johnny asked "do you want to do this?"

You looked at him thinking. Did you actually want to? Were you ready for what was about to come? "Yes Johnny, I want to do this" you answered after thinking about it. He just nodded as an answer and stood up to lock the bedroom door. "We don't want any intruders do we?" he said before walking back to the bed towards you. You shook your head. Feeling more excited, you could not take your eyes off of him.

"Can you stand up for me y/n?" Johnny asked eyeing you up and down and tilting his head a little to the left. You stood up looking straight into his eyes. He was now standing a few centimeters away from you, towering over you because of his height. Your faces was inching closer and closer until your lips met. The kiss deepened quickly and Johnny's arms wrapped around your waist, pressing your body onto his own.

Johnny pulled away from the kiss to quickly take off his T-shirt. Your eyes scanned his torso, making you almost start drooling. Your mouth opened a little, making Johnny smirk at you. You spaced out being in your own thoughts. It was Johnny's purposely made cough that sent you back to reality. Your face heated up, and you looked down at the ground because of embarrassment. "Sorry.. I got carried away" you said.

Johnny put his hand under your chin, making you look up at him. "It's okay baby, you're allowed to look at me" he said still smirking. "Now" he said hooking his hands at the bottom of your hoodie, starting to pull it upwards a little. "How about we take this off huh" you nodded, lifting off your hoodie and laying it on the floor somewhere. He scanned your torso, smirking at the sight in front of him. "You're so beautiful y/n". Your cheeks heated up, and you fought the urge to cover up yourself.

Johnny put his hands on your cheeks before he kissed you again deeply. The two of you started walking towards the bed, and soon you fell onto it. Johnny moved down to your neck and found a spot that made you moan. Hearing the sound he stopped his movements, and pulled away to look at you. You froze from his actions, not knowing what will happen next.

He had a slightly shocked expression on his face. "If that is the sound I'm gonna be hearing tonight, we better get onto it then" before you could react he smashed his lips onto yours again, and by now you could feel his erection against your leg. He kissed down your torso and unclasped your bra. Before moving further down, he gave your breasts some attention. Kissing, licking and massaging your breasts to get you going.

It was time to take off your leggings. Johnny wiggled them down your legs, before throwing them to the floor. He pulled away to take off his pants and then climbed between your legs. "I don't think you'll be needing these right now" he said touching your heat. His touch made a moan slip out of you, and by the reaction he started focusing on pleasuring you. "Damn baby, are you this wet for me?" he asked looking up at you with a raised eyebrow.

You nodded, only to feel Johnny push a little on your clit. Once again a moan slipped out of your mouth. "Use your words baby" he kept teasing you. "Yes Johnny, I'm so wet for you" you said in almost a whining tone. You could see him smirking up at you, before pulling off your panties and giving your heat a lick. "Ugh you taste so good" he said before continuing to lick your heat. All you could do was moan his name.

Johnny put his hands on  your hips, and then proceeded to go all in on you. He ate you out perfectly, and you loved the feeling. "Fuck Johnny, I-I'm close" you moaned out. He then pulled away from you, making you disappointed and frustrated by the loss of contact. Johnny noticed this while wiping his mouth. "Don't worry baby, you'll get something better"

Johnny stood up and took off his boxers. His large prominent member was standing proud before you. You were unable to glance away from it. Without noticing it, you bit your lip fantasizing about how it would feel. "Have you studied my dick enough? Or do you need more time?" Johnny said smirking. "I'm done" you said blushing.

He walked over to his dresser, getting a condom. The way he put it on made you touch yourself out of frustration. Johnny was amused by that. You stopped touching yourself once he was positioned between your legs again. "Are you ready for this baby?" he asked you while rubbing his tip along your lips. "Yes" you said. And not even a second after you could feel Johnny push slowly inside you.

Your parted lips and slightly closed eyes was the most beautiful sight he had seen. "Fuck baby, you're so tight for me" he said, pushing in and out of you slowly. "You could only moan as you felt him stretch your walls out, filling you up like no one had done before. After a few thrusts the pace was too slow for you. "Johnny, please go faster" you begged, looking up into his eyes.

Without hesitation Johnny sped up his thrusts, which made you arch your back against him. He lifted your hips a little, giving him better access to your wet core and hitting even deeper into you."ugh Johnny, yes! Right there!" you screamed out, not thinking about the others sleeping in the living room. At this point Johnny had forgotten about them too, and started thrusting harder into you. "Ugh, you feel so good around me y/n" Johnny said, groaning into your ear. You loved hearing him like this.

You started to feel a knot tighten in the bottom of your stomach, and you knew what was about to happen. Johnny could sense it too by the way your walls started to clench around him in a rhythm. "Fuck Johnny, I'm so close" you moaned out. "I know baby, just hang in there a little" he said speeding up even more to reach his high at the same time as you.

The feeling was overwhelming, and you could not hold it in anymore. You clenched around Johnny's dick, and soon after he came into the condom painting it white. To let you ride out your high, he slowed down his pace before stopping completely. The two of you was breathing heavily after finishing. Johnny pulled out, threw away the condom, and got a cloth to clean you up.

"That was amazing Johnny" you said with half open eyes, feeling all the energy drain out of you. "I don't know about you, but I need a shower" head said sitting down next to you and kissed your forehead. "Can I join you?" you said smirking at him. "Heh, yeah of course" Johnny answered smirking back at you.

The two of you walked over to the bathroom. Because you were already naked, you could just step right into the shower. The cold air made you get goose bumps, and your nipples got perky. You turned around to look at Johnny after entering the shower. He could not manage to look away from you, as he examined your body from head to toe.

"God baby, can you see what you do to me?" he said looking into your eyes smirking. You looked down towards his member, proceeding to blush again. He was completely hard for you, although it was not that long ago the both of you had your orgasms. "Do you wanna do this?" Johnny asked, stepping closer to you. "Yeah" you answered looking up at his face.

Without hesitation he smashed his lips onto yours, still continuing to walk forwads. As soon as you hit the wall, you could feel him push against you. All you could think about was that you wanted him again. You wanted him to take you right there in the shower. "Turn around baby" Johnny said after breaking the kiss. You did as he said, and you felt his member press against your butt and lower back. "Ugh.. Johnny" you moaned wanting him in you.

Johnny reached between you legs and stroke a finger between your folds. "are you already this wet for me?" he asked smirking, feeling how easily his finger was gliding bewteen your folds. All you could do was moan by the feeling. Before you could think any further, you felt the head poke your entrance before he slowly pushed himself into you. Because he was bare this time you could feel everything. You loved how he filled you up nicely, and how his veins felt against your walls. "Ah fuck y/n, you feel incredible around my dick" he said into you ear. You moaned as a response.

Johnny started thrusting into you slowly. From this angle everything seemed to be tighter. You loved the feeling, and so did Johnny. As he started increasing his speed, you heard him groaning in between your moans. "Fuck Johnny, you feel so good inside me" you moaned out to him. He answered with a moan this time. It was like music to your ears, fueling you with more arousal.

He was now thusting hard into you, hitting a spot he had not hit earlier. "Oh fuck Johnny, right there!" you screamed out to him. "Did you like that babe?" he asked, hitting that spot over and over again. Your walls started to tighten a little around Johnny. That was when he pulled out of you, making you feel empty. "Johnny, why did you do that?" you asked while turning around to face him. He took no time to talk and instantly lifted you up, proceeding to thust into you hard. You screamed out at the pleasure he made you feel.

At this new angle he hit your spot every time, making it take less time for you to start clenching around him. "Ah Johnny, omg you're making me cum" you moaned looking into his eys. "Oh do I baby? Can you cum for daddy?" has said smirking at you, knowing you were really close. The self claimed nickname took you over the edge, and your walls tightened around Johnny.

He moaned feeling your wals clench, and slowed down his pace. He kept going until he felt his own realease come near, and also your cum dripping down on his leg. Johnny pulled out just in time, and came all over your stomach. "Fuck baby, did you come even more than the last time?" he asked breathing heavily after he released. "I think so" you answered, panting just as much.

"Okay, for real this time. Let's clean up and then go to bed" Johnny said before turning on the shower. You nodded your head, agreeing with him. The two of you then cleaned up, and proceeded to dry off before going back to bed. In the bed you felt his strong arm wrap around you, and you could stay like that forever.

[anxious-little-faicye]

Unus Annus

So... today's the day huh. A whole year went by already. New memories, new experiences, new adventures. Yet we all come back to the same thing, the same channel that isn't anymore. The same dumb little channel that impacted us like nothing had before. Impacted me.

Honestly, I don't think I could put into a single letter, a single post just how much Unus Annus meant and will always mean to me. Maybe because there isn't a right way to express it, maybe because after all this time I still haven't found the correct words to do so. But I'll try my best, so I'm sorry if this is a bit messy.

Unus Annus. One year. Two people. Who would think a channel made by a couple of big idiots (affectionate) would have such an impact on the internet, on everyone who was lucky enough to be there for the ride. Even if you joined on day one or three days before it got deleted, it didn't matter. You were part of it.

I still remember seeing the notification on Mark's channel, and me panicking because I thought he was gonna delete his own. But no, turns out it was my invitation to something huge. At the begging I watched the introduction video and the *ahem* peculiar first official video. Didn't think much of it other than it was a cool project, so I stopped following it until day 10, where for some reason my brain decided "oh, shoot, I need to catch up". And ever since then I've been locked in, watching it from start to finish, never missing a single video. Yeah, even the deleted ones during Unus Annus, I was there for those (RIP Omegle video).

So, when it finally came the day, when it was finally November 14th, I... I was devastated. I had been there since the begging. I saw it grow, I saw the fandom become bigger and bigger, I saw the fanart, the theories, the fanfics, hell- even the Matpat video, everything. I remember me fighting with my mom because I wanted to stay up late to watch the stream, and even though I missed an hour, I woke up just in time for the last ten minutes. And just how I was there in day one to welcome it, I was there on it's last minute to say goodbye.

And let me tell you, I felt like shit. When it comes to death and loss I'm not the type to cry, or even let a sob out. But with this goddamn channel... To say I bawled is an overstatement. No, I mourned. For the first time in my life I experienced mourning. And I have lost close people to me before, grandparents, friends, but even there it wasn't as bad -or as good- as with Unus Annus.

So, here's my first thanks: thank you for teaching me how to grieve.

As my second thanks: ... Thank you for giving me a reason to keep going. I don't think I would be here today if it weren't for Unus Annus. I remember it clearly: I was still living at my abuser's house, I had gotten off a... bad fight, all my school projects were over due, I had no one to ask for help, nowhere to run, I felt alone. I felt like giving up. And the only reason, the only thing that kept me from doing something stupid was the thought "24 more days, just 24 more days". I couldn't just go without seeing the end. That's the only thing that saved my life. So thank you, thank you for being there when I most needed it.

As my third thanks: thank you for allowing me to meet some of my best friends. @heller-castiel @doodling-dog @emmahasnoideawhatshesdoing, I don't know where I would be without you guys. Yes, we haven't been talking that much lately, but do not think I've forgotten about y'all. And even though we never finished that fanfiction, it will always hold a special place in my heart as one of the few specks of light in a dark time for me. Let's reunite Tooth Knife Gang one day, alright?

And as my fourth and final thanks:

. . .

Thank you for everything. Thank you for the memories, for the laughs, for the cries, for the exasperated sighs trying to solve the lore, for the community you created, for being there when nothing else was, thank you for Unus Annus. It was truly an unique experience I will never be able to live again, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with losing the channel. Because fuck if I didn't enjoy every second of it, fuck if I didn't make the most of what I could with those videos. You were there to see me grow, to leave toxic relationships, to become a bit stronger, and for that I couldn't be more grateful.

You taught me that death, though inevitable, doesn't have to be the end. You taught me to value each minute, each moment, because one day it will all be gone. You taught me to appreciate the little things. You taught me that life doesn't have to be all bad, that there is always something worth fighting for out there. You taught me to thank death, because without it life wouldn't have meaning.

So thank you. Thank you Mark, Ethan, Amy, Evan, all the wonderful editors and all the amazing guests. And thank you, Unus Annus.

Thank you for the journey of my life.

Thank you, and I'll see you on the other side

Memento mori, Unus Annus.

[sometimesiwrite]

Just a Scratch

B I N G O ! 

Prompt: It’s Just a Scratch

Pairing: Lambert/Aiden; Eskel & Lambden; Implied Geralt/Eskel 

Rating: Teen 

Summary: Lambert and Aiden are moving to start the next leg of their adventure together. Eskel sees them off.

Warnings: Modern AU; bittersweet; friends leaving; implied COVID distancing A/N: For Ben & Jemma

@witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo @continentcakeshop @morethangeraskier​

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33145900

“All set?” Eskel asked, squishing in one final duffel bag into the footwell and backing himself out of the rear door of Aiden’s VW Golf. Anya, Lambert and Aiden's husky mix, dozed sleepily in the back seat despite the excitement, having been rudely awoken at 6:30am to confusedly do her business.

“That’s it,” Aiden shrugged, letting the trunk close with a dull, satisfying thud. He opened his arms questioningly, and Eskel wasted no time pulling him into an affectionate squeeze, touching his hand to the back of Aiden’s head before pulling away. 

“You take care of yourself. Let me know when you make your first stop, alright? Anything goes wrong, just let me know.” 

“We’ll call you from the hotel,” Aiden reassured as he flipped the car keys over his finger.

“I still say we can make it to Port Hope by the end of the day if we push it.” Lambert was tucked under the hood, giving the car one final check for fluid levels (tyre pressure had already been meticulously checked earlier that morning).

Aiden tilted his head, “That’s if you drive and unfortunately the highway patrol doesn’t care about fuel efficiency if you’re going ten over the speed limit.” He ambled his way over behind Lambert to get a cheeky eye-full of his favourite view, “Besides, I need you to put that sexy brain of yours to work for navigation.”

“Oi! Gerroff!” Lambert protested and Aiden backed away, but not before getting in a perfectly resonant smack. “If you had it your way, you horny old bastard, we’d be stopping every two hours to—”

 Eskel pointedly cleared his throat, scratching his head as he met Aiden’s eyes with a mixture of amused pride and endearing awkwardness that Aiden had so quickly grown to love. He would miss Eskel. They'd gotten close over the last five years, close enough that they had become friends of their own—each keeping the other company when Lambert or Geralt was out of town, planning surprises... 

Aiden's proposal had gone perfectly, their crowning achievement of mutual scheming. Lambert didn't even try to deny the fact that he'd cried like a baby—candles, dusk, his favourite hiking trail, champaign. Even Anya had behaved herself. That is, until she decided her owners had been embracing for too long and not paying nearly enough attention to her. Eskel had offered to edit that part out of the video, but Lambert insisted on keeping it in—"What's a special moment without our favourite dingus. Isn't that right, Anya? Are you a dingus? Yes! Yes you are!" 

“Not gonna miss us at all, are ya, big guy?” The hood latched heavily as Lambert wiped his hands and stowed the oil rag in the passenger's side door next to the Stanadyne.

"You kiddin'? I'm gonna miss you like hell. C'mere." Eskel wrapped Lambert in a bear bug that nearly crushed his goddamn ribs. 

"Easy, Eskel, Jesus I gotta breathe!" 

"Sorry," Eskel eased off, but he didn't let go. There hadn't been enough hugs in the last year. The last few months had barely made up for it, and now there would be far fewer. More dinners over Skype, more sporadic phone calls, occasional texts... watching his and Aiden's life unfold over Instagram and Facebook. But at least they would be happy, Eskel told himself. At least they were starting the next stage of their lives together with an adventure they'd remember forever. This was important for them. And yet the chill, damp fog of isolation was already creeping in around Eskel. Even as he held Lambert close to him and swallowed tears he'd save for later. 

One final squeeze and a pat on the back, and Lambert turned to get in the car, tossing a treat to Anya as he settled in. Aiden gave Eskel a final peck on the cheek, "Take care of yourself, alright? Don't be a stranger. Call, text, whatever. We're always happy to hear from you. Promise?"

Eskel nodded soberly, "I will. Thanks, Aiden." 

"We'll skype when we get to the new place. I want you to see it before it gets cluttered with boxes. We could even do dinner or—"

Eskel waved a hand, "We'll figure something out. Just get there in one piece, and send pictures. I'm not worried." 

Aiden smiled warmly, "Good. Good." A heavy exhale, "Alright, well..." 

"I hate to interrupt the bleeding hearts moment, but we've got commuter traffic piling up on the 606 as we speak! Get your gorgeous butt in the car, we gotta move!"

Aiden took a beat, "Yes dear!" 

"Okay, Anya! You be good!" Eskel gave the chocolate-and-caramel pup one last scritch behind the ears and closed the rear door just in time for the stereo to start playing Journey.

The car rolled down the driveway and Eskel watched until it disappeared over the hill past the stop sign. When the gravelly diesel purr was finally drowned out by late summer cicadas, Eskel sat heavily on the front steps with his coffee. He couldn't bring himself to open the door and go back inside. Something about the stark emptiness of a home previously occupied with guests made the aimless silence too loud. Besides, robins and cardinals were better than daytime tv for company. Finally, Eskel rested his forehead against his thumbs and let the wave of emotion breach the dam.

Shedding tears was something Eskel usually associated with significant pain—rage, grief, remorse, indignation—an open wound that took time and tending to heal. This wasn't like that, though. This was a scratch. Simple, uncomplicated pain: he was sad. Eskel couldn't remember the last time he'd cried because he was just... sad. Decades ago, he imagined, though he couldn't pinpoint a specific moment. It was something children did before emotions became more complicated. But here he was, sitting on his front steps, crying because he was sad. Eyes streaming, hot and wet down his cheeks because his friends were leaving. Just a scratch.

He felt silly, crying over something so inconsequential— and a man as touch-needy as Eskel, bearlike as he was, was left with the sinking feeling that, aside from Geralt, he might not touch another person for a rather long time.

It's not that they didn't have friends, of course, and he would talk to them later that night. He was helping to plan their wedding for chrissake, it's not like they would never speak again. But proximity to other people was something that had grown increasingly scarce, and Eskel—bearlike as he was—had the sinking feeling that, aside from Geralt, he might not touch another person for a while. 

Lambert and Aiden had an uncomplicated relationship with affection that always freed Eskel from the burden of second-guessing the odd touch to a shoulder or elbow. So many others had different personal spaces, many of which had expanded recently. Eskel was happy to respect, and accommodate, but Eskel always felt most himself when he could be affectionate with the people he cared about, and with those two gone, it suddenly felt as though a part of his identity was being forced back into shadow and shyness.

Eskel felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he sniffed loudly before answering. "Yup? Geralt, hi. Yeah, they just-just left. I'm ok-I'm okay. You know. Goodbyes are never easy. How's the conference? Heh. Good, good. Tell him I send my regards... Listen, I should get to work. No, I’m okay, I'll call you later... Will do. I l— I love you, too, hon. Buh-bye.” 

Eskel hung up the phone and stared quietly at the bird feeder for a few more minutes before going back inside, feeling as though something in the cosmos had shifted. 

[am-imagines]

I see you. - Alex Morgan Imagine.

Request: “ Can I request this: Alex and r are together and the team knows and then they come out to the public in some really cute or funny way and maybe you can also incorporate some supportive reactions from the team? ”

I hope I did it justice, guys. Thank you for the patience to those that are still around. I love y’all. <3

No Beta, so you know the drill here, but I tried my best.

Sharing a room with Alex during the World Cup was somewhat rough when you were barely able to look at her without blushing. You were crushing on her since the day you met, but it was never that bad until you were on the bed next to hers.

The awkwardness that overcame you around her was odd, considering you texted practically nonstop. You became good friends like that, and there was an ease on your conversations that you’d never experienced with anyone else.

You shared so many interests, even had a similar lookout in life. You aimed for the same goals and put in equal amounts of effort to achieve them.

None of that changed the fact that Alex was stupidly handsome. Her beauty smacked you on the face whenever you looked at her and that was your downfall. It didn’t matter what you did, your cheeks would end up flushed with color and you’d stammer total nonsense that would make her chuckle. Alex would inevitably get closer to make sure you were okay, and just like that you were a gay mess.

A thing you learned quickly about Alex is that she never quit.

When you were too nervous to talk, she filled in the silence with a funny story or a new song to listen together. Free nights became movie marathons or just quiet moments where you’d work the nerves away before a match.

Halfway through the World Cup it wasn’t a rare occurrence for you to fall asleep in her bed and wake up cuddled on her side come morning.

Pointing the exact moment when your relationship became more than a friendship was near impossible. It was slow, steady and swift. One day you looked at her and realized that she was more than your friend, and when you leaned down to kiss her, she met you halfway.

This was a new side of yourself and Alex; one that you wanted to enjoy without rush or pressure. No one really knew you were into girls to start with although your crush on her wasn’t exactly subtle. Then again, everyone had to be a little starstruck by Alex Morgan when they joined the USWNT.

Once you were World Champions, you had time to explore that relationship and everything it meant to you. It was both exhilarating and terrifying with all the media swarming you, and yet no one noticed the slight changes in your demeanor.

No one really asked, and you never told.

Perhaps you just weren’t ready to come out to the rest of the world. Maybe wrapping your head around some of the details was harder than you thought. After all, you were dating Alex Morgan, for fuck’s sake!

Maybe the longing looks, the lingering touches and the secretive smiles were a few clues for the team, but if they knew or suspected something, you couldn’t tell. They were a part of your family, and in the end, they wanted you to be happy above everything else.

They would wait for you to be ready, and once things went back to normal after the victory tour, you finally were.

“How are we doing this?” Alex asked as she played with your hair. “Livestream?”

You look up at her, your head resting on her lap as you scroll through social media wondering what the fuck you’re about to do. But a second later all your attention is on her, and you find yourself breathless once again.

She’s stunning in a million different ways but you preferred this one; soft and relaxed. That was one of the perks of enjoying a quiet weekend at her place in L.A. before you went back to your respective clubs.

It seems like the National team is fond of Live Streams but it isn't how you want to come out. First because you’d become a nerve mess before actually sharing the news, and second because it isn’t original at all.

If you are about to come out to the fans and sponsors out there, you want to do so in a way they’d remember.

“I don’t think I could do it even if I tried,” you finally say.

Then it dawns on you: humor is the way you handle most of the things that would make you uncomfortable otherwise. That’s not to say you want the world to believe your relationship with Alex is a joke, but there has to be a way to come out in a funny, quirky and clever way.

“We’ll see each other in a couple of weeks, right?” You ask trying to remember the exact date when your clubs will face each other.

“Yeah,” she pauses for a second and you look up at her curiously. “Speaking of, any chance I can steal you for a night while you’re in Orlando?”

“Well, Ms. Morgan, I’m pretty sure that can be arranged,” you tell her with a coy smile. “For now, there’s some online shopping to do.”

With a kiss on her cheek and all the hesitation on the world to leave her side, you finally go to the other side of the room to retrieve your laptop. After all, you’re in a very important mission. And NWSL is the kind of merchandise you’re looking for.

For some miracle of the Gods above, you find both your jerseys in stock available for shipping within 24 hours with an extra fee. You don’t mind paying a bit more to stay on schedule, and even when you technically still have time, you like to be prepared.

It’d be nice to get your items before you and Alex go your separate ways.

You’d be lying if you say having her autograph wouldn’t be nice too.

“What’s the big idea here?” Alex asks while you finalize the purchase.

Her arms found their place around your waist and she rests her chin on your shoulder so she can see what you’re doing. Your plan is still a secret, and you want to keep it like that for a little longer.

“You’re gonna have to wait and trust me for a while.”

The smirk never leaves your face even when you can feel her little pout. It doesn’t last long, the laptop is forgotten on the coffee table and you turn on her arms to face her. A moment later you’re straddling her lap, your fingers undoing her ponytail and combing her hair until she closes her eyes.

“For now, what do you say we stop worrying about the rest of the world?”

“What should we do then?” She asks, already leaning in for a kiss.

“I think you got the right idea.”

*****

“All set?”

You scan the place one last time to make sure nothing’s missing from your bag. Nothing important since Alex has already claimed half your clothes.

Cellphone and wallet already in your pocket, and keys right on your hand, everything seems to be where it should. The rest of your things are packed and ready to go for the last flight home.

The Victory Tour ended on a good note, so now all you have to do is say goodbye to Alex.

Sharing a room with her was hard at the beginning, and you never expected that not sharing it anymore would be exponentially harder.

“Yeah,” you finally answer after patting your pockets once again. “I think-, I think I’m ready.”

“Okay.”

But just like you, Alex doesn’t really move and when she does, it’s towards you.

You’ve never seen her move as fast as she does while crossing the distance between you. But you don’t comment on it, really can’t when her arms are around you in a second and her lips are on yours.

It’s soft and yet firm. The kind of kiss that makes you weak at the knees and all you can do is hold onto her shoulders. You move with her, allow her to take control of it all as you try to burn her into your memory.

You try to memorize the softness of her lips, the silkiness of her hair between your fingers and even that scent that is purely Alex. You try to take all of it in, but you only have a moment that is over far too soon.

Technology is your saving grace, and you’re not sure what you’d do otherwise. And yet there are things you can’t convey through the Internet.

“I should go,” you whisper against her lips.

“Yeah.”

It’s hard -almost impossible-, to resist Alex. So despite the pressing matter of time, you indulge in another kiss.

Just like last time, you melt into her embrace and you consider staying there forever. It’s almost as if time stopped around you. Almost. Your alarm goes off startling you out of the daze, and you can help the little jump that makes Alex chuckle.

A step back creates just enough distance to clear your mind, the action making Alex raise an eyebrow in amusement but it’s really not your fault. She has that effect on you, has been that way for a long time, and yet she still finds it amusing.

With a tap on the screen you take care of the alarm. And there you are, right where you were ten minutes ago.

Time to go.

“Right. So...here I go then.”

“And-,” Alex adds with an excited smile, “-we have a game plan for next week.”

“That we do.”

Next week you’re playing against different teams on different days which gives you the opportunity to watch each other’s match. It’s the first step on your plan. Coming out seems like a big deal, and bit by bit the pieces get in motion.

“No regrets, right?” You ask.

This is not just about you. As big as coming out can be, this is also the reveal of your relationship with the biggest face of the USWNT. Whatever backlash you can get from this, it’ll be worse for her due to her massive following.

So you have to ask her again if she’s sure about this, if she’s as ready as you are.

“Y/n,” she calls softly as she cups your face. “No regrets at all.”

“Good,” you said with a small voice, barely believing this. “That’s...that’s good.”

You’re on this together, and yet, it’s incredible.

*****

Her match is about to start when you pull out your phone to take a selfie.

The pride colors look kinda odd on you. Maybe it’s because you spent the last few months only wearing the National Team kit, or maybe it’s because you don’t wear purple that often. But well, you’re not requesting a team trade, and it was your idea, so you can’t complain.

One of your friends already helped you take one picture of the back where Alex’s name and number are perfectly visible.

You’re practically shaking, but manage to smile as you snap the picture.

It’s something simple, really. Something that shouldn’t mean too much and yet, it does.

Pulling up your social media, you add both pictures.

  |Cheering for the Pride today. #13 show me what you’ve got. ;)

The wink is cheeky; it’s a reason for people to read into it and wonder if there’s something else going on. Which is…well, totally the point.

It’s funny to see the diverse reactions to your post. Some are confused about what you mean, some jump to call a trade that simply won’t happen; at least not that you know. But the press, oh they are ready to call it a rivalry.

It doesn’t matter how many times you two were caught on camera during the world cup being friendly. It didn’t matter if you two worked like a well oiled machine on the field during every match; Victory Tour included. They wanted to push the rivalry angle; fueled by the lack of a rebuttal from either of you.

You can’t help but laugh later when you call Alex to congratulate her. She truly showed you what she got with a couple of goals and the victory for the Orlando Pride. Those have been rare for her team lately, although you can’t blame them with so many key players also going to the World Cup.

However, the rivalry angle is fun to play with and in the end it’s the one you decide to push a little more the next day when it’s you on the field while Alex watches.

You’re already done with warm-ups and head out to the locker room to change into the kit when you hear your phone pinging with a new post. As expected, you find Alex’s post already blowing up despite it has been up for a grand total of two minutes.

   |I already showed you what I’m capable of. Now it’s your turn, Y/n.

Attached it’s a picture of Alex wearing your club jersey and although the number isn’t really showing, it’s more than obvious she’s wearing yours.

A chuckle escapes your lips while you shake your head. A question running through your head as you prepare for the starting whistle.

What the fuck am I doing?

***

A week later the press is going wild with theories about you and Alex. They aren’t sure what to make of it, but everyone has been talking about it for days. The upcoming match up between your clubs has served to add fuel to the fire, but you ignore all the fuzz of it as you prepare.

Last week you obtained the victory with a last minute goal to earn the three points. And unable to resist temptation, you had to make another post about it.

   |I’d say I’m pretty good at delivering. What do you say, Morgan?

   |TBD. See you next week.

The last part was a clue that no one seemed to catch on considering you were staying at her place instead of sticking with your club in a hotel. Of course, you didn’t share that bit of information and instead let the tension grow outside of your happy bubble.

This match is the moment of culmination if everything goes the right way. But playing against Alex doesn’t mean you’re going easy on her. If anything, being on the same field always pushes you to play the best soccer and be the best player you can be out there. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing the same colors or not.

Being lenient with her as a rival is the kind of mistake that could and would cost you a game. You just don’t underestimate Alex Morgan. And she better not do so to you or you’ll make her pay.

Adjusting the captain armband once more, you follow your team into the field and take your place just a few feet away from your girlfriend.

“Good luck, Morgan.”

“May the best team win.”

You play your hardest on that field; push to your limits and beyond, but in the end it’s a draw. Two a piece. Of course it had to be a draw. But you left everything there.

The game became physical and you tackled Alex as much as she tackled you in order to get back a lost ball. That’s part of your motto, not giving up even if it seems like a lost cause. And considering Alex decided to date you even when you couldn’t look at her four months ago, you’d say Alex doesn’t give up either.

Well that and the couple of new bruises you have after the match.

You’re a bit disappointed with the final score; you always want to win and carry that inertia into the next game. But it’s a fair result considering how close the game actually was. You two put on a show and the fans of both teams can see that.

“Y/n! Y/n! Can you give us one moment of your time?”

Looking at the person calling for you, you have to fight the smirk as you see it’s a reporter. It’s not hard to imagine they’ve been waiting for this moment since the first post you made a week ago.

“Sure.”

“What a great game you gave us today. Are you disappointed with the result?”

You can see this is not really what they want to ask, but you don’t mind playing along giving your commentary to this question and a couple of others.

“One last question, the fans and everyone really, are wondering about this new rivalry between you and Alex Morgan. What can you tell us about that?”

Bingo.

“Oh, there’s absolutely no-”

You could feel Alex lingering around, listening into this interview while being interviewed herself by another reporter for a quote after the game. But it’s only when you’re in the middle of your answer that she takes the few steps to wrap her arms around you from behind.

“We’re dating,” she announces proudly and straight to the point.

“-rivalry.” You finish your sentence before shaking your head. “Babe, I was going to say it!”

“What’s stopping you?” Alex challenges with that smirk you absolutely adore.

“You’re impossible.“

“Yeah, and…?”

“And Alex Morgan is my girlfriend,” you answer with just a little grumble as you look back at the camera. “But we’re definitely winning the next game.”

“Not on my watch,” she counters before turning your face towards her to kiss you softly.

Whatever argument you had is gone just like that. But it’s hard to keep track of your thoughts when she kisses you. Hell, it’s impossible to think straight when she’s too close to you. That’s why it took you so long to actually talk to her.

Your relationship is still so new, and yet you can’t help but feel like you’ve known her for decades. The connection between the two of you is meant to last, and you’ve never felt your heart skip a beat as it does when you look at her.

You’ve never felt your heart hammer against your chest so madly; and that’s something considering you played -and conquered-, a World Cup. You’ve never felt so in peace as you do when you look into her eyes. You’ve never felt so happy, or so whole, or so seen...or so you.

Alex has the ability to understand everything you say, but words aren’t needed for her to understand you. In a short amount of time, Alex knows you better than anyone else in the world, and as scary as that might seem, it’s also the best thing in the world.

“If you’ll excuse us now...”

Surely there are a thousand other questions the press wants to ask. However, you have no need to stay on the field as you guide Alex back to the tunnel. The fans will be all over that interview in no time, and it’s bound to appear in every social media and every news channel.

Even with the anxiety starting to creep in, the doubts nagging at the back of your mind, you don’t let go of her hand until you have to. After all, you belong to two different clubs. But your goodbye will be short lived as you’re going to her place for the night.

Still, the time apart is a bit scary when you’re about to face the backlash of many, and perhaps the support of most. After all, you’re not the first couple -or the only one-, in the USWNT, NWSL or even women’s soccer around the world.

After another gentle kiss, you part ways to reunite with your team.

You’re hesitant for a moment; taking a deep breath to steel yourself before facing them.

As soon as they see you, the room erupts in cheers and whistles of approval. Then again, your crush on Alex Morgan wasn’t exactly a secret. And after the World Cup, they could see something had changed within you.

Of all the people out there to get you, your club got your back. And after you get a chance to check your phone, you notice they ain’t the only ones.

   |Rivalry, that’s what they call it now, uh?

Megan’s post goes along with a picture of you smiling at Alex at the end of a World Cup match. It’s obvious you were smitten with each other back then, and nothing has really changed.

  |We all know how Rivalries work. One of them has to end on top. If you ask me, my money is on Y/n.

Your blush is impossible to hide when you read Ash’s words, and that’s something that you won’t ever reply to. There are things that you simply won’t share with the world.

  |Wait, hold on. Did you guys seriously not know?

Sonnett asks in her post with several pictures taken during camp. Some of them are during team bonding or well...movie nights. It wasn’t unusual for either of you to feel particularly tired and ended up falling asleep in the same bed.

But you’re surprised to see that you cuddled before you were together.

Then, there’s the evidence of you sitting next to each other whenever you could. During breakfast, on the bus, on the bench, on the plane. At some there was hand-holding added, and you wonder, truly wonder, how you called that subtle.

  |Hottest couple out there. Sorry, Krashlyn.

Bit by bit, every single player of the USWNT has shown their support, and it acts as a wave to generate more support from the fans, and it’s so overwhelming that the few people brave enough to try and drag your name on the mud are immediately silenced.

The world is still far away from being perfect, but your friends, your teammates, your family, they sure make it better.

“Ready to go?” Alex asks when you meet her outside.

“Sure, as long as I end on top tonight,” you say with a playful wink that earns you an eye roll.

“You wish.”

[kaimelia]

Here Alone

a/n: hi! this is awfully sad and for that, I apologize...but I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like reading it!

-----------------

Amelia woke up with a feeling. Some sort of pit in her stomach, a feeling that she didn't want to get out of bed so she could avoid something.

She rolled over and pulled the comforter over her head, groaning loudly when her husband pushed open the door with a mug of her favorite tea in hand. Link had smiled and chuckled at her when she told him and grabbed her hand, pulling her into a sitting position and kissing her lips. He persuaded her to leave the bed and led her into the kitchen, where Scout was happily eating blueberry pancakes and their daughter twirling around in her favorite purple sundress. Amelia left in a hurry with Charlotte in her arms, quickly kissing her husband goodbye. She changed into scrubs to find a note from Link in her locker, "You're amazing. You're going to rock this surgery. I love you," he had written, a messy scrawl on one of the note papers they'd stick in Scout's lunch box. She grinned and placed it in her purse, locking it away in her cubby.

-----------------

Surgery was going well until the nurses started to whisper among themselves. The pit in Amelia's stomach from the morning returned, and she asked if they had anything to share. Silence filled the O.R., and Amelia shook her head, attempting to ignore it. She sighed audibly after finishing the ten-hour surgery, grateful her patient had made it through without any real complications, ready to find her husband and convince him into giving her a foot massage and to order takeout for dinner. The grin on her face fell once she walked into the scrub room to see Jo nervously wringing her fingers. "What happened?" Amelia asked, hiding her shaking hands under the stream of water in the sink.

"It's Link."

-----------------

She felt like she was moving in slow motion. People walked in and out of the attendings' lounge, some acknowledging her and others not. Meredith walked in and wrapped her arm around Amelia. "He'll be okay," she whispered, hugging her sister tightly.

"I had a feeling when I woke up. That something bad would happen today, but Link told me everything would be fine," the neurosurgeon laughed out, tears welling in her eyes the more she spoke. "Everything's not fine."

-----------------

She knew it before anyone said it. Owen walked into the lounge; his hands clasped together politely. "We did everything we could," he began but stopped as soon as Amelia let out a loud sob. Her hand moved to cover her open mouth, her chin quivering and her body falling forward before Meredith reached an arm under her and pulled her up. She had no idea how much time passed until the other surgeons left in a blur of colors and absurdly loud noise and until Maggie ran into the lounge, joining her sisters in a hug.

"Amelia, you should go say goodbye," Maggie whispered, brushing her sister's hair down in delicate patterns with her hand. "You can go see him."

"I don't think I can," she cried, standing up suddenly to run to the toilet. The sounds of heaving filled the small bathroom, and Meredith cringed, grabbing Amelia's hair back.

"We'll come with you. You'll regret it if you don't go to see him," Meredith helped her to stand, steadying her with a strong arm around her waist. They slowly trudged through the hospital's hallways and past the O.R. board, causing Amelia to let out another sob as she recognized the place they met.

Her feet stopped in the scrub room as she glanced through the glass pane, seeing the sheet covering the figure of the man she loved. Her hand reached for the chain around her neck, pulling her wedding band out and fiddling with it. Maggie placed a hand on her back, helping to push her towards the bed. "We'll be right here, Amelia," she comforted, watching as Amelia walked into the room.

The neurosurgeon sat down, pulling a stool over to the side of the bed. She grasped the edge of the sheet covering the body and slowly lifted it to reveal a familiar face missing the childish grin she'd loved for so long. A sob choked in her throat, and she gasped loudly, covering her heart with her hand as the other brushed through his long blonde hair he'd meant to get cut. "Link," she whispered, tracing her fingers down the side of his face, under his jawline, and back up to his eyelids. She yearned to see his blue eyes and the life they always held; the joy, calm, and the future she'd always looked into. "Oh my god," she wailed, a tear dripping onto the sheet covering his chest. Amelia laid her head down gently, sobbing as her ears searched for the beating of his heart fell asleep to each night, only to hear nothing, now.

-----------------

She woke up in a hospital room, cringing at the loud beeping of a heart monitor beside her. Her eyes fell to the weight against her arm, seeing her daughter curled into her body, contently making the soft snores she always did. "Hey," Meredith whispered, standing up from the couch in the dark room. "You passed out. Fell to the ground, and Maggie and I had to bring you here." She reached out for Amelia's hand and held it. "Koracick is gonna come by and give you a neuro check; you hit your head when you fell."

"Is it real?" Meredith raised her eyebrows in question. "Is he really gone?" She nodded, holding her sister's hand tighter as she cried.

"I'm so sorry, Amelia." The little girl's head lifted up at the sound of her mother's sobs, and Amelia looked to Meredith as if to ask if Charlotte knew. Meredith shook her head.

"Mommy?" Charlotte asked. "Why are you crying?" Amelia reached out to brush a stray piece of her daughter's blonde hair back, running her hand down the french braid Link had made for her this morning. She bit her lip as her fingers touched the pink rubber band holding the braid together, knowing that Link's hands had touched the same band just hours earlier.

He'd learned to braid as soon as they found out they were having a baby girl, practicing on almost any woman who would let him touch her hair. Soon, everyone in their family circle was wearing braids and paging Link whenever they wanted their hair braided to fit under a scrub cap.

"Mommy's just not feeling very well right now, Char," Meredith interrupted, dropping Amelia's hand and pulling her from her thoughts. "Let's get you back to daycare, okay?" The mother watched as her daughter waved goodbye, whispering a soft "Bye, mommy," before she was carried out of the room. Her gaze drifted to her hand, which had subconsciously grabbed her necklace and had been toying with her ring for some time, something she often did when she felt anxious. She unclipped the chain, holding it out in front of her eyes. Her eyes traced the engraved letters on the inside of the band, reading, "Till death do us part," a line they had chosen almost jokingly when picking out rings. She had made a sarcastic comment about how he likely wouldn't have to put up with her forever, as everyone around her died. Link had grinned and embraced her, whispering into her ear, "Till death do us part." Now, the line and memory felt like some twisted irony.

Amelia dropped the chain onto the table beside her and turned over, her body leaning backward as if she was expecting Link's firm chest to be behind her to lay against. She let out a shaky breath, adjusting the pillow under her head and closing her eyes tightly. "This is just a nightmare," she whispered. "Just a nightmare."

-----------------

People passed in and out of the hospital room, yet Amelia just stared blankly at the hospital wall. Teddy had visited and told her something about her own husband, who died under similar circumstances. Tom had stopped in to examine her, and she silently complied, not even hearing what he said after. Jo came in and sobbed out some story about when Link was planning to propose, which Amelia assumed was meant to comfort her, but she couldn't process what Jo was saying. Even Nico came by and dropped Link's wedding band on the table next to Amelia's necklace, letting her know that he had retrieved it for her before they took his body away. She appreciated it; he didn't try to tell her everything would be okay, give her some bittersweet story about Link, or mutter that he was sorry for her loss. "Can you stay?" She asked Nico as he moved to leave. "Just sit in here with me for a bit," her chin quivered, and Nico proceeded to sit on the couch. "How long has it been?"

"Seven hours and thirty-four minutes," he responded, the number coming out immediately. "I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I'm sleepwalking." Amelia nodded her head in agreement, the tiniest smile creeping onto her lips.

"How long do you think I'm allowed to stay in this room and hide from everything?" Nico leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. "I'm just hoping that Meredith and Maggie are handling the kids. Not really being a good mother right now," she confessed, wiping her watery eyes.

"You get as long as you need. I'm sure they've got it figured out."

"I'm dreading seeing them. As terrible as that sounds," she shook her head. "Scout looks just like him. I already sobbed when I saw Charlotte's hair because he braided it this morning."

"Do they know yet?"

"No, I think Meredith is waiting for me to tell them." Amelia took a shaky breath. "I don't think I can do it. Raise them alone."

"You're not alone, Amelia." Her name sounded odd coming from his mouth; he'd almost exclusively referred to her as 'Shepherd' prior to this moment. She almost laughed at the sound of it. "I know we haven't ever been close or anything, but whatever I can do," he whispered.

"Thank you." She held her hand out, and Nico took it, letting his tears fall after she squeezed his hand lightly. "Thank you," she sniffled, beginning to cry again.

-----------------

Meredith pushed open the door and pulled the key out, holding it open for Amelia. The brunette gasped at the sight of their home, a nearly spotless house that definitely didn't look like that the day before. She assumed someone had stopped by and picked up as a courtesy, leaving a pile of his belongings on the table in the dining room. She walked towards the table and picked up his I.D. badge, staring at the photo from the past year.

Bailey had insisted on new badge photos for everyone after seeing quite a few images that no longer resembled the badge's owner, complaining about how nothing ever ran smoothly in the hospital. The day of the pictures was on Charlotte's third birthday, the same time that she had a stomach bug. They'd almost missed the takes and didn't have time to change out of their clothes. Amelia knew that right out of the view of the camera was a trace of vomit that had left everyone cringing. She smiled and set it down, her fingers trailing over the stitching of the bag she'd teased him for, calling it his man-purse. Her hands trembled as she lifted up one of his scrub caps, bringing it to her chest and exhaling out a sob.

"I can take care of all of this," Meredith whispered, placing a hand on Amelia's shoulder. "You should go talk to the kids." Amelia shook her head quickly.

"I can't do it, Mer."

"They need to hear it from you." She embraced Amelia before pointing towards the staircase that led to the children's rooms. The mother bit her lip and reached out for the railing, steadying herself on it. She saw them both sitting on Scout's bed, Charlotte holding her stuffed cat as Scout read her a chapter of one of his favorite books. Amelia paused in the doorway and simply observed them for a moment, not wanting to disrupt the peace she witnessed while simultaneously staring at her son's face, admiring his father's resemblance among his features. But she knew she had to tell them.

"Hey, guys," she greeted, walking into the room. Both of the children's faces lit up at the sight of their mother, and they jumped forward into her arms, relaying how much they had missed her. She felt a pang of guilt even though she had only stayed overnight at the hospital. "There's something I need to tell you guys," her voice sank, holding their hands. "Yesterday, after Daddy dropped you off at school," she looked at Scout, "there was a really bad accident. A car hit him, and Daddy got hurt."

"Can we bring him donuts?" Scout asked hopefully, knowing that was the family's go-to solution for any problem that occurred. Amelia bit her lips and shook her head as tears fell from her eyes.

"No, because Daddy got hurt really bad. And the doctors tried to make him better, but they couldn't save him." Scout and Charlotte were both silent as their mother burst into sobs. "But even if he's not here, I know that Daddy is watching over us and making sure that we're okay right now," she whispered, gripping their tiny hands tighter.

"Daddy died?" Scout asked, his voice shaking. Amelia moved her hand to cup his cheek and nodded sadly, brushing away a tear with her thumb.

"Yes, Daddy died yesterday." She pulled them both into a tight hug, the sounds of crying filling the room. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

-----------------

Amelia stared blankly at the ceiling above her. The funeral was nice enough; everyone gave their condolences and apologized as if they could have done anything to prevent it. She'd barely retained anything that was said. The image of his body in the casket kept replaying in her mind, her daughter's cries sounding over and over again, and Scout's soft whisper to his father, asking him to come back home, all breaking her heart into tiny pieces. She turned her head to the empty space next to her, the indent of his head on the pillow he'd kept for far too long still visibly present. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to imagine him next to her, his bright smile and joyful eyes greeting her when she woke up, their kids joining them for morning cuddles before Link finally convinced everyone it was time to get ready.

She grasped at the chain around her neck, to which she had added Link's ring. It'd taken awfully long for some of their friends and family to leave after the service, but Meredith had been kind enough to usher everyone out once a few hours had passed. Amelia made a mental note to thank Meredith as soon as she could think straight.

Eventually, Amelia gathered the energy to get out of bed. She unzipped the back of her black dress, taking it off and throwing it on the floor in a moment of anger. It was one she had purchased years ago and never intended to use as a funeral dress. It came with a blue cardigan that had perfectly matched the blue tie Link wore to their coworker's wedding, and she didn't even end up wearing the actual dress to the wedding. She'd shoved the dress into a box in her closet, and she guessed that Meredith had dug it out sometime over the past few days. Her hands pulled Link's pajama drawer open, lifting up a pair of his flannel pajama pants and holding them up to her nose, and taking a deep breath. They smelled like him. The fabric was damp a moment later, and she realized she had been crying.

Maggie and Winston were in the kitchen, and Amelia could smell something sweet as she walked out, careful not to trip over the long pant legs of Link's clothes. Maggie looked surprised to see her sister come out of the bedroom and greeted her softly. "Hey," she whispered, pulling Amelia into a hug. "We're making cupcakes for the kids." Maggie glanced up and down, noting Amelia's attire. She smiled sympathetically.

"Where did Mer go?"

"She and Zola went to pick something up. They'll be back soon," Winston spoke, pouring batter into a pan. "Can I ask how you're feeling?" Amelia shrugged.

"Best I can be feeling right now." She sat down at the island, resting her head on her hands. "I don't know what to do, now." Maggie occupied the seat next to her.

"We're taking it one step at a time."

-----------------

They were never the people to purchase extravagant bouquets of flowers. So, she didn't feel like it was right to bring flowers to his grave and instead settled on the grass with a plastic container holding a donut. She figured if he was somehow watching or haunting her, he'd appreciate seeing her continue something that had become a tradition for them. "Hey," she tried, her voice wavering. Amelia felt uncomfortable as she spoke into the air, suddenly paranoid that someone was listening and judging her. She let out a breath. "I brought a donut. At first, I thought I'd get one for you and put it down, but then that just seemed like a bad idea and would probably attract some wild animals," she laughed, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"I miss you. And I know that's incredibly generic and probably meaningless, but I miss you. The longer it is, the more I remember little things that make me miss you and places in my life where there's now a hole." Her fingers drummed against the lid of the plastic box. "It's been a week. Which isn't really a long period of time when you put it in perspective, but this has probably been the longest week of my life," she confessed, glancing at the headstone. It was simple and awfully plain, but Amelia had a particular sort of admiration for it. The words, 'Husband, Father, Son,' were etched into the stone; the three words she knew had all been sources of pride for Link.

"I can't stay for too long. Partly because I'll end up sobbing if I do," she laughed, "but we also told Scout we'd get him ice cream. Maggie took him and Char to the playground nearby." Amelia had laughed when she first heard about the playground a block away from the cemetery, but now she understood the purpose of it. "Maggie and Winston keep looking at me like I'm going to fall apart. Which probably isn't too far off, but it makes me feel like a deer in headlights." She pulled the necklace out from under her shirt. "Meredith understands. She knows when to give me space and when I need a hug. I just wish you were here. It sounds ridiculous, but grieving your death would be so much easier with you by my side." She laughed at what she said a second later, shaking her head. "I mean like, you always know how to comfort me. Or, you always knew," she corrected. Amelia opened the container holding the glazed donut she'd purchased and lifted it to her mouth.

"I honestly haven't had much of an appetite. The one thing I've been wanting more than anything is to drink. But, I won't. I made Mer take all of the alcohol out of the house just to be safe," she brushed a piece of hair back and paused before continuing. "We had cupcakes yesterday, but then I remembered that you were buried in the ground a few hours later, and I ended up puking everywhere." She turned the donut in her hand. "Don't worry, Meredith made me take a pregnancy test. It was kind of funny, actually. She held back my hair while I was puking and then told me how she blamed her nausea on her grief when she was pregnant with Ellis. I made her go out and buy a bunch of tests, even those ones that can tell like a few days after conception—all negative. I'll probably take a few more in a week because now I'm super paranoid. I don't think I could go through a pregnancy without you here," she whispered, looking at the shine of the glaze on the donut.

"I'm gonna eat it, now. And you don't get to judge me," she spoke before shoving the whole donut in her mouth, quickly wiping away a bit of glaze left around her mouth. She giggled as she chewed, soon unable to discern if the sounds she was making were laughs or cries.

"I'm mad at you for dying. I'm really pissed off," she whimpered out, now realizing that she was crying. "But I'm glad I got to love you. And, I'm going to keep loving you, so if you're out there, you have to make sure to stay by me." Her phone buzzed beside her with a text from Maggie informing her that they were walking back. Amelia sighed. "Remember after Meredith woke up from COVID forever ago, and she told us all about the dead people she saw and how they were watching over her and could kind of push her to do something?" She paused as if waiting for a nod or hum from him. "You should figure out how to do that, or whatever. And maybe I'll know."

-----------------

Scout's birthday came sooner than Amelia could process. Thankfully, Meredith had reminded her and taken her to the mall to get presents a few days before. "Link wanted to get him a guitar for his birthday," she'd whispered as they walked past a music store. "I don't know anything about guitars." Meredith took her hand as tears fell down her sister's face and smiled at her.

"We'll go ask someone. I'm pretty sure he'll need a little guitar. That's a thing, right?" The worker directed them towards a wall of guitars, and Amelia was immediately overwhelmed. There were so many different choices, and she had no idea what she was looking for. Her eyes fell on a light brown guitar. There was nothing extraordinary about it, but it was like a magnet, and before she knew it, she was walking over to the guitar. She pulled it off the wall and smiled as if the feeling of it was right.

"This one," she murmured, bringing it over to the counter.

"Why?"

"Link told me to get this one. He did the dead person shove type of thing," she grinned confidently, forgetting the wave of grief she felt earlier.

-----------------

It just so happened that Scout's birthday fell on the one-month anniversary of Link's death. Amelia mused about how it was a good distraction, but it seemed to bite her in the ass that same night. Scout had a party with his friends, and the house was filled with happy children, occupying Amelia for a few hours. They'd made a tradition of having a smaller event after whatever birthday party was happening, just their family in Seattle.

"Okay, this one is from Auntie Mer," Amelia handed him a box, reaching over the mountain of torn wrapping paper in the living room. He opened it to pull out a stuffed bear, and Amelia's heart fell.

"It's a Daddy bear!" Scout shouted, holding it up in the air. The bear was wearing a bear-sized Mariners t-shirt and had one of Link's scrub caps tied tightly around its' soft head. Amelia choked out a sob at the sight, and Meredith wrapped her arms around Amelia from behind.

"I hope it's okay that I took one of the scrub caps; I just wanted Scout to have something," Meredith whispered over the sound of their family laughing, holding onto her sister tightly as she cried. Scout looked over at them, and concern flooded his features once he noticed his mother's upset.

"Momma," he spoke, walking over to her. "You can hold Daddy bear." Amelia pulled her son into her arms tightly.

"We made one for your Mommy too," Meredith added, pulling out another box. "It doesn't have a scrub cap, but I know you have a few." She opened the box and held out an identical bear. "And one for Charlotte. Everyone gets a Daddy bear." Amelia took the bear and brought it into her hug with Scout, holding her arm out for Charlotte to join. It soon turned into a family hug, with everyone in the room piling together and the neurosurgeon's sobs soon turning into laughs. After the moment passed, everyone pulled away, and Amelia was left to hug her bear.

"I have a bottle of his cologne in the room; we can make them smell like him," Amelia suggested while holding the stuffed animal close to her chest. She felt a gust of air brush up her arm in the way Link would comfort her so often, rubbing his fingers lightly up and down her skin to ground her. "You're gonna make me go insane imagining things," she whispered into the bear's head, still gripping it closely. "I love you."

-----------------

She sipped her mug of tea, pulling a blanket over her lap as a breeze hit. Charlotte was lying against her chest, her blonde hair flying in front of her face with her arms attempting to swat it away. "Here," Amelia spoke, placing her mug down. "I'll put it up."

"Braids!" Amelia grinned at her daughter's request, beginning to gather the mess of hair on the girl's head. Scout was sitting on the porch floorboards, strumming some non-sensical tune on his guitar with a binder of music in front of him.

8 months after her husband's death, and Amelia still wouldn't say that she was okay. And, she was beginning to learn that it's okay to not be okay. It was moments like this where part of her just wanted to cry at the thought of him missing them, seeing their son learn to play the guitar as their daughter begged for the braids he always put in her hair. Each holiday, birthday, anniversary, and memorable moment caused floods of grief to pass over the mother.

She finished braiding and tied a yellow rubber band around the girl's hair, pulling Charlotte into a tight hug and ignoring the blur of her vision as tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. Link had always told her how their daughter was exactly like her, but over the past few months, Amelia had noticed how much she resembled her father. Sure, Charlotte definitely looked the same as Amelia did when she was young, but she had her father's dirty blonde hair and his endlessly caring personality.

Charlotte laid her head back against her mother's body. "I miss Daddy," she whispered, her tiny blue eyes watching Scout adjust his fingers in concentration. Amelia kissed her daughter's head.

"I miss Daddy, too, Char."

-----------------

One year. One year ago, Amelia woke up with a feeling. Something that told her not to get out of bed or go to work, a sense that she ignored. She often wondered what would've happened had she stayed at home that day, convinced Link to join her in bed and call their son out sick from school to spend the day as a family. She learned not to let that guilt overcome her. Amelia flipped over in bed to the space her husband once slept in, the indent of his head on the pillow no longer visible. Over time, she'd felt herself losing small pieces of him, something she knew was inevitable but knowing that didn't make it sting any less.

"Momma," the door pushed open, and Charlotte walked through, her teddy bear under her arm. "Cuddles?" Amelia grinned widely and held the blanket open for the girl to join her. Another part of Link she saw in their daughter, her ability to tell when her mother needed her.

The door opened again shortly after, and Scout walked through. He eagerly jumped up onto the bed and rolled onto the other side of his mother, settling under her arm. "Do I have to go to school today?"

"Nope. I already called them and told them you would both be out today," she responded, placing a kiss on the top of her son's head. "I thought that we could spend the day cuddling together and watching movies." Scout sat up quickly.

"We're gonna watch Cars!" The mother watched as her son scrambled out of bed and ran into the hallway quickly. She turned her gaze to her daughter.

"Let's go cuddle on the couch and watch Netflix. I'll tell Scout to let you pick the next movie," Amelia grinned, scooping the girl up into her arms.

"My Daddy bear!" Charlotte pointed down and the bear on the bed. The mother tilted her downwards so she could reach it. "Daddy bear has to come with."

"Of course," Amelia smiled, carrying her daughter into the living room and tossing her on the couch. The three of them settled under a pile of blankets, their eyes all gravitating to the screen in front of them, but Amelia wasn't sure if any of them were truly paying attention. She glanced down at her daughter, who was holding her bear tightly against her chest. Her eyes drifted to the mantle below the T.V., scanning the rows of mismatched frames and photos of their family over the past years.

"Are you thinking about Daddy?" Scout asked, following his mother's gaze. She looked down and him and smiled sadly, nodding her head.

"Of course. It's hard not to think about him today," she kissed the boy's head and pulled him closer.

"I think that Daddy is taking care of us. Like how Auntie Mer said that Uncle Derek would watch us," Scout whispered, fiddling with a loose strand on the blanket.

"I think so too, Scout." The boy sighed and snuggled down further into the couch.

-----------------

Hours passed, and the kids were sprawled across the couch, sleeping contently as Scout mumbled quietly in his sleep. Amelia carefully removed herself to not disturb them, taking her empty mug to the sink and rinsing it out. Her fingers drummed against the edge of the sink, and she looked out of the small window above the counters. The sun was unusually bright for a day in March, causing the silver jewelry on her neck to reflect the light onto the wall. She smiled and reached down, pulling the chain out.

She imagined him standing behind her, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. He'd brush back the strand of hair framing her face and whisper into her ear how he loved her.

Amelia opened the window and smiled at the gust of wind that came through, sending goosebumps up her arms. "I miss you," she whispered, tracing her fingers up her arm to her shoulder.

Another gust of wind brushed up her arm, and she grinned to herself. "You're gonna make me go insane," a laugh fell from her mouth.

"Mommy?" She turned to see Scout rubbing his eyes tiredly and kneeled to his level. "I need a hug," Scout confessed, walking into his mother's arms.

"What's wrong?"

"I miss Daddy." She embraced him tighter and sighed.

"Daddy's here with us. Always."

[simplee-dreaming]

The Ratings

A/N: This was a Six Idiots fic requested by @lokihasadaughter. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1323

Summary: The reader rates Ben and Simon's Ghosts characters poorly, so they seek revenge.

--------------------------------------

“Hello hello! How is everyone?” You said to your phone. “I got bored so I thought I’d go live.”

You were alone in your home. Today was your day off from filming the next series of Ghosts, but you were so bored you just had to talk to someone. And what better way to do that than a live stream?

Whilst you waited for more people to join the stream, you decided to make a cup of tea.

“How am I? I’m okay, thank you! Haven’t done much today except binge TV and sleep,” you joked as you read out a comment.

The kettle finally boiled and you watched the comments roll through as you let your tea brew.

“When’s the next series of Ghosts out? Well, we’re currently filming it so we don’t have a release date yet but I’m sure that will be announced in the next few months or so,” you took the teabag out of the mug and gave it a stir before taking it, and your phone, back into the living room.

“What’s it like working with the Horrible Histories cast? Um, awful. They’re all mean people,” you laughed. “Nah, I joke. They’re all lovely people and I’m so thrilled to be working with my childhood heroes.”

You took a sip of tea and watched as more questions came flooding in.

“No, Ben isn’t gay...at least not as far as I know,”

“Yes they used a real pigeon during the first series,”

“Which actor is most like their character? Hm, that’s an interesting question. I’m gonna have to say Robin because Larry likes to think he’s wise but just ends up talking a load of gibberish,” you were met with a load of laughing emojis as you chuckled into your drink.

“Can you rate each ghost out of 10? Ooh, now this sounds fun. Okay um…I’d give Fanny a 6 out of 10, because she is funny but boy she would get on my nerves; Thomas would be a 7 out of 10, he’s such a romantic but can be a bit stalkerish; Kitty is a solid 9 out of 10, who doesn’t think she’s adorable?; Mary is an 8 out of 10, she’s just brilliant and I feel sorry for her; I’ll give Robin a 9 out of 10 because he genuinely is quite wise and you can tell he cares; Humphrey is a 7 out of 10, I would give him higher if he was in it more but he seems a decent bloke; of course Pat has to be a 10 out of 10, he’s always there for everyone and I just want to give him a hug; umm Julian I’ll rate a 2 out of 10, such an awful MP; and Cap I’ll rate a 3 out of 10, far too naggy...and that’s not only on screen,” you winked at the camera.

You answered a few more questions before you realised you had been live for well over an hour. So you decided to call it quits and say goodbye. Thanking everyone for joining, you stopped the live stream and decided to get ready for bed.

The next day, you arrived on set feeling well rested. You said hello to everyone you passed and put your stuff in your normal dressing room. You jumped a little when there was a knock at the door.

“Good morning Y/N,” Ben said as he stepped into your dressing room.

“Ah! Good morning, Cap!” You saluted.

“How was your night?”

“It was boring. Watched a few films, doodled a bit, did a livestream,”

“Oh, I’m well aware of the live stream,”

“You watched it?”

“We both watched it,” Simon said, entering the room.

“Oh really?”

“Didn’t you see our names pop up?” Ben asked.

“No. Must’ve gotten lost in all the comments I got. You know, because I’m so famous,” you replied, flicking your hair. Simon and Ben exchanged a look.

“So..remind us again of your ratings?” Simon asked, stepping towards you.

“Ratings?”

“The ratings that you assigned to our characters,” Ben responded, stepping forward too.

“Oh. Those ratings,”

“So, I’m an awful MP am I?” Simon asked.

“And I’m far too naggy?” Ben asked.

You giggled nervously.

“Well, yeah. If Julian and Cap were real people, they would get on my nerves the most,” you shrugged. Ben and Simon exchanged a look.

“We’d get on your nerves, eh?” Ben asked.

“Well no, not you two. But your characters,”

“Hm. Was it not you who said I was naggy off screen too?” He asked.

“Ah. Well. Um…”

You stepped backwards as Ben and Simon slowly approached you. You couldn’t think of a quick comeback. As you took another step backwards, you fell over the chair leg and landed on the ground.

“Are you okay?” Simon asked, rushing to your aid.

“Yes, yes. I’m fine!”

“Good,” Ben and Simon said in unison. They suddenly sprang into action and Ben started tickling your tummy whilst Simon scribbled under your knees.

“WHOA HEHEY WAHAIT!” You cried.

“Not until you apologise,” Ben squeezed up and down your sides and you threw your head back and screamed. Your hands latched onto his arms as he tickled up and down your sides and across your lower tummy. You kicked your legs out frantically as Simon squeezed your knees and thighs.

“GUHUHUYS WAIT!” You fell into a loud laughter, in shock from the sudden attack.

“Simon! Get her feet! That’s her weak spot,” Ben instructed. Simon nodded and sat on your legs, pinning you down.

“NONONONONO SIMON NO!”

Simon leant forward and took off both of your shoes. With a single finger on each hand, he dragged a nail up the soles of your feet. You shrieked.

“Blimey, if I get that response from a single finger then you’re screwed,” he teased. He suddenly launched into his attack, wasting no time in scribbling all ten fingers into your feet. You screamed loudly and tried to wiggle your feet away, but you were trapped under Simon. He laughed evilly as he scraped his nails up and down your soles

Ben looked at you and giggled at your weak state.

“Ready to apologise yet?”

“NOHOHOHOHO!”

“Suit yourself,”

Ben lifted up your top slightly before grabbing your arms and pinning them to your sides. You knew exactly what he was planning.

“BEHEN NOHO!”

He drew in a dramatically deep breath before blowing a giant raspberry on your tummy. You screamed louder than before. He giggled into your stomach as he blew another raspberry, the vibrations from his giggling making the sensation 10x worse.

“Awww, poor Y/N, so so ticklish,” he teased, lifting his head up just to awe at you.

“Get her again, she hasn’t apologised yet,” Simon piped up, now holding one foot down with one hand and using his other hand to scribble deep into your sole and across your toes.

“Nomnomnomnom,” Ben nibbled gently on your tummy, after blowing another giant raspberry.

“PLEHEHEASE STOHOP!”

“Apologise first,” Ben said, releasing your arms to dance his fingers across your tummy again.

“OHOHOKAY I’M SOHOHORRY!” You screamed.

“You’re what? Can’t hear you over all the screaming,” Simon teased, clawing at your feet.

“I’M SORRY!” You screamed louder.

Ben and Simon stopped instantly and climbed off of you. You sat up slowly and glared at them both.

“Was that necessary?” You asked.

“Absolutely, we needed to get an apology out of you,” Ben replied.

“You didn’t ask for an apology before you attacked me,”

“Didn’t we? Oh. Well, we got one anyway,” Simon responded. You glared again but couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You’re so annoying, you know that right?”

“Someone’s gotta keep you in check,” Ben shrugged. “Now come on, we’ve got filming to do.”

Ben and Simon helped you up off the floor and walked with you on to the set. Little did they knowing you were planning another live stream that evening...

[halpertstuna]

someone to stay - jj maybank pt.2

summary: an abandoned child who felt unwanted since day one got adopted once again and was required to move to the outer banks to live with a lovely elderly woman, but just as she started to feel happy, something had to go wrong and as a result she took a job where she met none other than the blond busboy, jj maybank.

A/N: this is part the second part of my imagine “someone to stay”, if you haven’t read part one yet you can read it here

paring: jj x reader

word count: 2,171

warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of cancer, death, mentions of abandonment, almost a panic attack? probably typos

-> masterlist <-

{2/2}

(gif credit: @sebastianstahn )

The next morning you were woken up by the ringing of your phone.

“Hello?” You answered, your voice raspy. “Hi, am I speaking with Y/N Y/L/N?” a woman’s voice chimed on the other side of the line.

“You are” you replied still half asleep, trying to focus.

“I’m calling from the hospital, Dr. Brown has some news to give you about Noreen Lewis, but it’s not for the phone. Can you come here?”

As she spoke you felt your heart begin to pound out of your chest, is Noreen okay? What did she mean when she said it wasn’t for the phone?

“I- I’ll be right there” you blurted out hanging up.

You quickly brushed your teeth, showered without washing your hair, got changed and ran to the hospital.

When you got there you went up to the receptionist’s desk, asking for Dr. Brown.

You were told to go to Noreen’s room, Dr. Brown waited outside the door for you and ushered you to the chairs in front of the room. He signaled you to sit down and you hesitantly obeyed.

You tapped your foot rapidly whilst looking at him anxiously, waiting for him to talk as you played with the ring on your finger, the one Noreen gave you for your sixteenth birthday.

“there really isn’t an easy way to say this...” he started, “the chemotherapy... it wasn’t affecting the way it was supposed to-“ “what do you mean it wasn’t affecting?!” You interrupted cutting him off, your face and body radiating off infuriation and disappointment.

He continued “we did another MRI scan and found out the cancer had already progressed to stage 3B by the time we started treatment”.

You were overwhelmed, in absolute shock, you didn’t know what to say.

An exasperated look spreading across your features entangled with sorrow.

He gave you a sympathetic look, which only irritated you more.

Growing up as a child that was abandoned by their mother, meant always being pitied and looked at with sad eyes and as much as you hated it, you eventually got used to it.

But this time was different.

This time you felt absolutely useless, you despised it.

Him giving you that look only made it worse.

“Where is she? I want to see her.” You seethed through greeted teeth and furrowed your eyebrows once you noticed how much remorse his eyes held.

“Now.” Your voice firm and filled with rage as you got up.

You followed him into the room and rushed to her bed, she was asleep. “When she wakes up, it’ll probably be a good time to bid your goodbyes” Dr. Brown calmly noted exiting the room.

You sat next to her bed until it got dark, crying as you watched her sleep, lost in your thoughts.

It reminded you of that one stormy night when you were 12 and couldn’t fall asleep due to the noise of thunders, so you snuck into Noreen’s room.

You didn’t want to wake her up, but didn’t want to be alone either so as a result you just sat on the small mint coloured sofa chair near the bed, while you watched her sleep.

About half an hour later she woke up, looking at you.

“Hey” she rubbed her eyes “how long have you been sitting there?” You shrugged. “Were you watching me sleep? Cause it’s kinda creepy” she mentioned sarcastically and you snickered.

“Well, are you gonna keep sitting there or join me, muffin? I guarantee you the bed is more comfortable”.

She shifted making space for you and you quickly climbed into the bed, tucking yourself under the comforter.

You fell asleep right away, knowing you were safe.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a cough, her eyes slowly flattered open and you shifted in your seat the second you noticed she was awake.

“Hey...” you whispered with a faint smile.

She mirrored it and you felt your heart swell, even in times like these, her smile still managed to melt it.

“I’d ask how you’re feeling but that’s a stupid question” you tried laughing at your comment but instead a sob escaped your lips.

She lifted up her shaking hand and rested it on your cheek, wiping the fresh tears with her thumb

“d-don’t cry, I want my last view to be your beautiful smile” she mumbled and you giggled, nodding your head.

“Does it hurt?” You asked. “A bit” she replied nonchalantly, as if she had only fallen down slightly scraping her knee and wasn’t on the verge of death.

You reached out and held her hand in yours. You couldn’t help but shed another tear, knowing she was in pain.

“All I ever wanted since the moment I met you, was to make sure you knew how loved and cared about you are. How worthy you are of a beautiful life. I hope you know that.” You sniffed and nodded.

“I’ve lived a spectacular, full life. And I am thankful for every moment. I’ve had the privilege of knowing you, getting to watch as you turned from an inverted child who isolated her heart from all of humanity, into this incredible, caring, not to mention immensely funny and talented young woman. Who is honest, never afraid to say what’s on her mind and is completely selfless. And for that, I am thankful.”

The tears you desperately tried holding back were now streaming down your face.

“It’s ok, everything’s gonna be okay” she said in a calming tone squeezing your hand but you averted your gaze from her, unable to face her. “hey, look at me” her words soft, you turned to her with puffy red eyes, you didn’t want her to go.

“I’m going to be okay. And so are you. You’re going to achieve everything you want. Don’t be afraid to let people in my love, and from what you told me, I better be seeing you with that JJ living the happily ever after you deserve” you chuckled in tears.

She let out a series of loud coughs and you felt your heart sink.

She looked up at you with loving eyes “I’m going to join Jasper now, and I’ll tell him all about the daughter I was blessed with” you held her hand tighter as if it would keep her here, with you.

“We’ll be watching you, making sure you’re okay. I’m ready to let go now. I will always, always love you muffin” she confirmed and you nodded quickly “I love you too, thank you for everything, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you” you sobbed out.

She smiled at your words, then closed her eyes.

You felt the grip on your hand loosen, a few seconds later an audible, long beep came from the ECG.

You refused to believe the scenario in front of you, you had to get out of there.

You sprinted out of the hospital stepping into the cold, dark night.

You started running, you didn’t know where, you just knew you had to leave.

A series of heartbreaking sobs left your slightly parted quivering lips, rocking your body as you felt your heart crumble into a million pieces.

Your vision was blurry from tears and you couldn’t see a thing.

Out of breath you came to a halt, resting your hands on your knees as you tried stopping the tears.

Your chest heaving, your breathing only intensified as you felt rain drops fall on your skin.

You didn’t even notice you were stood outside your house until you looked up. The rain got stronger and the wind blew through your now wet clothes.

You were a sobbing wreck. You grasped the hem of your shirt in pain, balling your hand into a fist and felling to the ground, the other hand tangled in the roots of your hair, pulling slightly.

You felt helpless, cold and alone, that was until two arms wrap around your small frame, shielding you from the rain.

Your eyes darted up in fear, but once you recognised the scent of JJ’s cologne which you memorised from all the times he drove you home, you relaxed in his touch.

“it’s okay, it’s just me” he cooed rubbing circles on the small of your back. you cried into his chest in which you found comfort.

“It’s not fare” you whimper, gasping for air.

You couldn’t breath, you felt your chest heat up.

You started choking, coughing as the air just didn’t seem to find it’s way to your lungs.

“Hey hey hey, look at me” he demanded in a hush tone, holding your shoulders in arm length, “everything’s going to be okay, you just have to breath” you looked at him as if he was speaking a foreign language.

He pulled you back to him, placing your head on his chest which rose and fell in a steady pace “breath with me” he stroked your hair gently.

It was hard but after a few minutes you managed to steady your breathing back to normal.

He helped you up and into the house, then let you shower and change into dry clothes, whilst he sat on the other side of the door.

He was too scared to leave you alone, but still respected your privacy.

When you finished, JJ took the liberty to make you hot chocolate and you wrapped yourself in a blanket plopping down on the couch with him beside you.

“Thank you” you broke the silence, “anytime” he gave you a closed mouth smiled.

“what were you doing here anyway?” you questioned.

“I was really worried after last night and when you didn’t show up for work today I knew something was wrong, so I finished my shift and came straight here to check up on you” you looked at him with a surprised expression as he confirmed he genuinely cared.

‘Don’t be afraid to let people in’ the words echoed through your mind.

You scooted closer to him on the couch and hugged his side. He didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around you and hold you close.

“My best friend died tonight. She was all I had. She saved me but I couldn’t save her. When I was ten she adopted me and a few weeks ago she got sick. I took this job to pay for treatment but unfortunately, it didn’t help. She didn’t deserve this. And now I’m alone again. This is why I don’t let people in... they always leave.” You spoke through unshed tears.

He only held you tighter, clueless of how to respond. He knew how it felt; being unwanted, distancing yourself from others to avoid the ache you feel when they leave.

“I know how it feels, you’re lost and hurting right now, it’s okay” He showed you empathy, “and I promise, i will never leave you”.

And for the first time in a while, you felt relieved, not alone. His words gave you hope and that was a promise he intended to keep.

“Do you want to tell me about her?” He asked squeezing your shoulder gently, you didn’t even know where to start.

You went on a rant, telling so many stories and memories.

“She sounds amazing” he noted “she was” you remarked.

“Too bad I didn’t get to meet her” he regretted his words the second they left his mouth, afraid he said the wrong thing.

“She said the same thing about you!” Your voice slightly louder than you intended.

“Oh so you talked to her about me? What else did you say?” A self-satisfied smirk played across his face as he tried to lighten the mood, succeeding.

“Don’t let it go to your head Maybank” you warned nudging him lightly, an amused laugh escaped his throat.

The two of you talked for hours, it was nearly 3am and you started feeling drowsy.

“Will you stay?” You pleaded “I’m tired of being alone”.

“Of course” he swiftly responded “I’d never leave you” he promised.

You didn’t bother going to your room. He laid down on the couch and you placed your head on his chest.

His hands found your waist and you found home in each others embrace.

He kissed your forehead, lingering for a bit longer than he should, and you dozed off in his arms to the sound of his heartbeat.

The sight of your smaller figure wrapped around his looked so natural to him. He couldn’t comprehend how someone could leave you.

Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed it was morning.

Your eyes flattered open and you greeted him with a croaky “hey”.

A smile spread across his face as he greeted you back.

“Were you watching me sleep? Cause it’s kinda creepy” you sarcastically marked and he chuckled.

The two of you gazed silently into each other’s eyes for a few minutes before both falling asleep.

He helped you through your highs and lows after Noreens death, always by your side. He was there for you when you needed someone the most, someone to stay.

And he did.