#got carried away oops ^_^

[xxtyongfs]

a short fic abt vernon with a spit kink & a thing for tying down his partner?

vernon x spit kink is my favorite thing ever by the way . and bondage oh good lord .

"do your hands hurt?" was the first thing vernon asks after he ties your wrists together. you shook your head no. you had slept with vernon countless times before, but hadn't done anything like... this before.

more under cut ~ !

"fuck, you're so pretty," he mutters, trailing his fingers past the valley of your breasts and down to in between your thighs.

"vernon, please?" you grasp his wrist and try guiding it down to your aching heat. he delves into your core, 2 fingers thrusting in and out of you.

"open," he says, squeezing your cheeks and making you open your mouth. the spit runs down your mouth, "want my cock?" you nod frantically, head still stuck in the clouds.

he removes his fingers and forces them in your mouth, making you taste your own arousal. you notice your own saliva running down your chin, and so does vernon.

"you're such a messy girl," vernon moves his fingers out of your mouth to push your legs against your chest, folding you in half, "disgusting slut."

vernons words, combined with all of the stimulation, brings you to your climax, thighs trembling as you squirt.

"squirting all over me, huh doll?" vernon massages your clit, and your moans are cut off by his lips on yours. he kisses you sloppily, just the way he likes it.

"gonna cum," you'll cum again for me, right?" you moan in response, and the two of you reach orgasm in tandem.

"want me to untie you now?"

"yes please."

[ninetyninepointnineninenine]

something something bingliu

[normal-about-the-dca]

Security Breach: Ruin

[malleefies]

Missandei of Naath "Eleven years of age, yet Missandei is as clever as half the men at this table and wiser than all of them."

Below is a version w different lighting:

[timethehobo]

Oops did it again. More photoshoot inspos with Emmrich cos I couldn’t help myself. 🤲

[deepspace-scenarios]

[Scenario/drabble] dreaming anywhere

LIs react to you accidentally falling asleep in random places. (It's never really about napping with them)

Genre: Fluff; Tw: suggestiveness

SYLUS

The garage lights flicker as Sylus finds you slumped against his car, fast asleep.

"Tired already, kitten?" His gloved finger traces your jaw gently, lips curling when you jerk awake. "I could think of... better places to sleep."

You stubbornly straighten your dress. "I was just waiting for someone to finish their call. I'm ready to go anytime."

He adjusts your necklace, voice dropping to a purr. "Then stay awake. Or I'll have to...stimulate you during bidding."

You gawk at him. He would never- on second thought, you can never fully anticipate what he has up his sleeve.

He unlocks his car, and you slide into the passenger seat, cheeks tinged pink.

"Public displays aren't usually my taste - but I'll make an exception if you start snoring."

As the engine roars to life, he keeps one hand on your thigh. "Eyes open, sweetie. Unless this is you giving me permission for creative ways to keep you awake along the way there,"

"I'm awake, Sylus!"

He laughs, voice like honey. "Good."

_____

XAVIER

Xavier finds you dozing against the refrigerator, cheek smushed against a magnet.

"My love," he murmurs, his warmth engulfing you in an embrace. "You're up so early,"

You mumble sleepy protests as he lifts you effortlessly.

"The kettle can wait." He carries you back to bed, pausing when you cling to his sweater.

"I wan’ make tea..." you slur, your head already hitting the pillow.

His laughter vibrates through you as he tucks the blanket around your shoulders.

"It’s 7am on a Sunday. You still have all day to make tea."

His lips brush your forehead.

"Dream of sweeter things than chamomile."

_____

RAFAYEL

The outdoor swing on the porch creaks as Rafayel discovers you curled up on the plush bench, hugging a blanket to shield yourself from the crisp air of dawn.

"Aww cutie!" He says with a grin, snapping a photo before draping himself over you like a human blanket. The bench wobbles. "Abandoning our sunrise mission?"

You stir as he nuzzles your neck. "Raf, the sunrise-"

"Is still a torturous seven minutes away," he interrupts, kissing your cheek. “We can sleep here,”

When you protest, he rolls onto his back to pull you on top of him. Your face is smothered by his soft cotton pyjamas, and you mumble into the fabric. ”I can do seven minutes-“

"Objection! We'll watch the sunset instead. Can’t have my cutie being tired… Not when she had to be my bodyguard for the entirety of yesterday," His fingers thread through yours as the waves wash onto the sandy shore.

"And if you sleep through that too...I'll find you in your dreams and meet you there."

_____

ZAYNE

You managed to make the last train with Zayne, the hectic schedule at Chansia almost causing you to stay back. Both Zayne and you wouldn't have minded if the next day was a day off from work, but you have a mission briefing, and he has a surgery to perform.

The lights of the tunnel turn into a mesmerising blur of orange and white patterns, lulling you close to sleep.

You blink hard, propping your chin up on your palms with your elbow on the table. You take a sip of your iced tea.

The next thing you know, the world starts to slip back into a hazy blur as your eyelids grow heavy, and heavier still-

You try to fight off the sleepiness.

Take- take just one more sip of-

Zayne's pen stills when your iced tea straw slips from slack lips.

The train rattles past Chansia's outskirts as he carefully removes the cup before your chin can hit the table.

"Stubborn," he mutters - but his arm settles around you, guiding your head to his shoulder.

“M’not,” you mumble drowsily, but his touch is insistent, and you find your final resolve melt into exhaustion.

His coat smells faintly of fabric softener as you nuzzle closer.

"One hour until Linkon Station," he informs you. The city lights streak across the window as he adds, almost too softly for you to hear. "Rest well."

You muster up the final strength to speak, the weight of sleep making it hard to form any sounds- “Wha'bou you Zayne-”

You hear a faint sound, maybe a huff of air akin to a laugh.

“Stop trying to speak. Just sleep,”

He presses a quick kiss to the crown of your head, and you relent, letting him hold you close as the train rattles on.

_____

CALEB

Caleb's footsteps thud closer as he finds you sprawled, asleep, on the yoga mat. He drops a bag of convenience store snacks on the coffee table before kneeling next to you.

"Meditating or having an early night?" he teases, poking your side.

You startle, and you swat at him- but he pins your arm down effortlessly. "Cute."

“I got tired waiting for you to come back, it's 10pm!”

“And who was it that requested snacks at 9:30?” He asks, leaning in and reaching to tickle you.

“Ca-caleb! Hey-” You squirm, and his grin turns sharper as he watches you.

"Alright now, pipsqueak," he says slowly, his tickling morphing into a soft grip on your arm. “Stop that before I decide to do something else with you-”

“You're the one trying to tickle m-” Your retort dies as he presses a quick kiss to your lips.

“I'm serious. Don't let me get sidetracked,” he murmurs as he pulls back reluctantly. He hauls you up in one smooth motion, scooping you into his arms and settling you onto the couch.

“Snacks, delivered as promised.” He tosses you a pack of grape gummies with a wink.

You catch it and open the packet, handing one to him. “And what if I want you to get sidetracked?”

He pauses, a hand lightly guiding your wrist as he leans down in front of you, his eyes losing their playful glimmer. His lips brush your fingertips as he eats the gummy.

Then he sits next to you.

“Come here,” he says, voice low as he pulls you in. “Napping while I get you snacks, then not wanting snacks or a nap and asking me to get sidetracked instead… pipsqueak, you're spoiled rotten,”

“It's someone's fault, not mine-”

He kisses you, letting you taste the candy as he deepens the kiss.

Spoiled rotten, indeed.

[oaklores]

Who am I if not painting chip and Gil in the water

[sevsbunny]

fingering!!! r receiving, slight public sex (in a booth alone by the end of the night) eighteen plus!!!!

hehehe catching her gaze like this staring at you as she crosses the bar

her cocky ass stride up to the bar, throwing up a single of two drinks to the bartender, her gaze looking back over at you with a smirk

and you’re fiddling with your already watered down gin and tonic you had ordered when you first got here. it wasn’t your first time at the bar, but it was without someone to have on your arm

you decided to go out, how fun and MAYBE find someone to help you get laid. you weren’t expecting anything, honestly. you didn’t really think you’d turn any heads — let alone sevika’s

shit she’s coming over here, you scramble with your hair, pressing it flat to fix it even though you don’t know what you look like with the lack of mirrors

she smirks, raising an eyebrow loosely as she puts both of the glasses on the table, the dark amber liquid splashing a little over the lip of the cup.

“this seat taken, princess?” her voice is low, rough like sawdust making you tremble in your spot. you shook your head, sliding over a bit in the booth to give her space - she needed it

she huffed an amused sound, sliding your glass over to you as she sat down in one smooth movement and suddenly her thick thighs were pressed up against you.

she was much larger than you anticipated

“haven’t seen you ‘round here,” she says as she lifts the cup up to her lips, your eyes watching her lips brush against the cool glass wishing they were your lips instead

she caught your gaze, smirking a bit more before sipping the drink. she gestured towards you to take a sip, and you did quickly coughing as it brined your throat. “good girl.” you feel a warm blush spread on your cheeks at her praise, feeling your thighs clench a little in repsonse

“been here before,” you respond, taking another sip and the warm amber liquid falling down your throat with a slight burn. it was getting more comfortable being able to drink. “just here for the first time alone.” you admit, crossing your ankles and looking over at her

“is that so?” she muses, mixing the alcohol in her glass in a circular movement with her wrist as if she was in thought. “what are you looking for?” she asks, draping her left arm across the back of the seat and behind you. you could feel the slight coolness of the metal from her arm radiate onto your skin

“a good time if one permits,” yohsaw with a little dry laugh, but she just smirks as you, leaning her head to the side a bit in curiosity. you feel her gaze under your frame and it makes you feel small, like you’re just her prey.

and in some ways you were

she had gotten you five drinks in, maybe a few blunts rolled in between there — she wasn’t paying attention. she was about as fucked up as you in this moment and she could not keep her hands off of you

it was getting late, you knew that, but you couldn’t deny that the way sevika’s hands felt on your skin didn’t make you wanna stay out a little later. you leaned into her touch, her fingers playing mindlessly with the ends of your skirt as she listens to you ramble about whatever the fuck yoh were into

she swore she cared about your interested, a pretty thing like you, you had a big beautiful brain that she had started to pick apart in mere three hours of meeting.

but she wanted something else to pick apart.

you stopped mis sentence as you watched her eyes flicker briefly from your gaze down to your lips, a soft hitch of breath in your throat as she brings a hand up to your cheek, cupping it.

“am i talking too much?” you don’t really care for the answer, honestly. as long as she closed the gap in between the two of you.

“yes,” she breathed out lowly before pulling your head towards her and pushing her lips against yours. you let out a soft sigh as you felt her lips against yours, your hands finding their way to wrap around her neck to close the gap in between tour bodies

she groans as she pulls you into her lap, your legs straddling hers, your cores pressed against each other.

her lips tasted of weed and whiskey, a hint of mint form the peppermints she’s been ‘snacking’ on all night. she was intoxicating, roaming her hands under your shirts and pressing her palm firmly against your back, making it arch just a bit

“so responsive,” se purrs softly against your lips before trailing her lips down rhe side of your jaw, towards the curve of your neck. you move your head towards the side to let her and she chuckles.

“easy, hm?” you blush darkly at the truth, your hands holding onto her shoulders as she takes her flesh hand from your back and brings it around the front of your hips, right to cup your core over your underwear and under your skirt.

“sevika..” you gasp softly, suddenly remembering you were still in the bar.

“no one will bother us.” you whine softly as she presses her two fingers against your clothed entrance. “not unless you keep quite, okay sweetheart?” she murmurs against your neck you gulp shyly, before feeling her teeth nip at the skin and suck

a breath one escapes your throat before she starts rubbing you slowly though your underwear, feeling your slick dampen your underwear making you feel more embarrassed at how turned on you were in this moment

“so wet baby. this for me?” she teases as you whine, digging your nails into her. she knew the answer, she just met you but she couldn’t let go of you now.

she gets impatient before pushing your underwear to the side, and teasing your hole with her middle finger. “what do you want?” she noticed how you were slowly starting to grind onto her for direction and release, but she wasn’t going to give it to you that easily

“you please,” you beg softly, her nose nudging up the side of your neck, nipping the skin on your jaw before she takes her other hand that was on your back, to the front — gripping your chin roughly making you look at her

her pupils are blown out, a dark slate grey gaze swimming with desire pools back into your own eyes, making your core throb at just how much she wants you looking at you like this.

“be specific, baby. what do you want, hm?” she squeeze your cheeks a bit, your lips puckering softly as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“fingers, please sev..” you whined her name softly? through puckered lips before she grins with a satisfying smile

“good girl,” she purrs as she slips her middle finger into your hole, a soft moan escaping your lips as she takes her grip off your chin. “mm, perfect pussy baby, you know that?” you let out another soft whine at the compliment, your rain feeling fuzzy from the alcohol and weed she overloaded in your system

exactly what she wanted for you. she wanted to have you perfectly palatable in her lap to play with as she desires, to make you feel good and to keep you under her for as long as you’re willing to let her

“more,” you whine softly, moving your hips on her finger as you dig your nails into her. she curses under her breath as she slips a second finger into your cunt and picking up the pace of her hand

the wet sounds of your pussy was flooding your brain, your eyes never leaving face as she watched the way your pussy took her fingers so well. how slick they were with each stroke and every single gaps and whine falling form your lips

“so fucking pretty,” she leans back a bit, moving you so she can see move of your pussy taking her fingers. they stretched you out, a subtle sting turning to pleasure as she curls her fingers into your cunt

“fuck, sev just like that …” you arch your back a bit, moving your hips against her ministrations and she lets out a pussy clenching growl at the sight. she grips your hip with her bionic arm, moving your hips against her

“atta girl, ride my fingers like it’s my cock baby.” her words are filthy as they make desire pool at the bottom of your stomach, her thumb coming to press firmly against your clit in circle. you squeeze around her fingers, huffing our soft moans.

“close baby?” you nod, biting your lip and not trusting the sound of your voice. you knew that if you opened them, you’d let out a loud moan and you’d for sure get caught

“being so fucking good staying quiet sweetheart,” she groans as she feels a wet spot seep through her own pants from your cunt, her own pussy throbbing watching you ride her like this

you were not going anywhere after this.

you let out a soft whine as you looked at her with a quiet pleading look. she smirked, pressing hard on your clit as she pushed hire fingers sloppily into your cunt as your hips met her movements

“oh baby, you wanna cum?” you nod desperately, hips rocking back and forth as the booth slightly creaks, a soft grunt coming from sevika’s lips as she nods . “go on then, baby. cream around my fingers.” you let out a soft moan at her command as you cum, gripping onto her and digging your nails deeply into her

she groans at the pain of your nails in her, igniting a deeper feeling inside of her as she feels you cum around her fingers

“good girl, fuck you look so pretty like this.” she moans out softly, her lips hanging open as she rides you through your orgasm, before slowing your hips

she keeps her fingers in you for a moment, her bionic hand coming to up to cup your cheek and you lean into her touch.

she takes her fingers from your cunt, before pulling them up. “open.” she commands and you do as she says. you taste yourself on your tongue instantly as she pushes them into your mouth. you suck on them, suck them clean she felt her cunt throb widely.

“cleaning them before i even ask. good fucking girl.”

[voidheartkisses]

Subspace and Medkit sketches!!

[chocolunee]

doodle request of the fool telling fitz not to wear the color yellow c:

[loveisactivated]

Johan looking at North ✨️

[prisma-palace]

placing the blame

uncensored version :-)

[rosemarytrash]

i think feferi and nepeta being flUshed woUld be nice. i need some relief while going throUgh the game over arc. (apologies if I'm reqUesting a ship yoU don't want to draw :U)

you did send this ask two years ago but im doing it now. hope thats ok

cat girl x fish girl trial and errors

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

Big strong cowboy loves when little reader takes charge in bed 🤤

Hell yes Twola!!! 🔥 Also, I know that you and I have a thing for Modern Arthur lately, so idk I just went for a good "fucking in the car after a baseball game" kind of thing. Hope you'll like it! It's an honor to answer your ask💓I'm very happy to be able to return the favor after having consumed so many of your fics!

Arthur's palms feel huge on your waist.

He knows he shouldn't love it that much, but the way your body felt and looked next to his, under his, over his, so small, so light and soft, it had always made all his blood rush to his cock since the very begining.

Just like right now, the both of you inside his truck, messily parked on top of a hill where you both were supposed to eat and enjoy the view of the city at night after an important game of his. The sparkles from it still shine in the darkness, unaware of the sinful thing you're doing to him instead. 13 to 2, he well deserved it after all. You have him lie back on both the seats, shirtless, as you climb and sit on his lap, removing your clothes one by one as he watches, mesmerized. You don't even reach the ceiling of his truck, when he is crunched to fit inside. He feels his shaft pulse at the thought.

"Jesus, you're so goddamn gorgeous, darlin'."

"You like having me on top, don't you?"

"More than I can admit."

Your hand slide between the both of you and takes care of his pants, fishing out his veiny and blood-gorged cock outside his clothes, and he hisses at how you handle him that well, delicate and petite fingers wrapped around him and guiding him like this. Oh, how he loved it, the way pull your own pantie to the side, and rubb your wet folds against his cockhead, sending shivers of need everywhere through his body, his own fingers pressing into your waist in return, showing just how much he needs you.

"Say you want it…"

"I want it. God, I need it baby."

He's almost desperate for it. With a satisfied grin, you push your hips down on him, his shaft finally penetrating your tight inside, and he grunts loudly, unable to stop himself. "Fuck, yeah," he shakily exhales, brow crunched in a delightful expression of pleasure.

It's already so good, and it's out of this world as you start to ride him good and proper, just like he likes it, hips up and down, in long, almost torturous movement, your pussy letting him go then welcoming him again fully everytime. And he lets you handle him just like you want to, because for once, he's being taken cared of. That idea alone almost has him spill inside of you.

His limits are tested another time as you speed up your pace, one hand taking support on the dashboard, the other on his chest, looking so tiny on the immensity of his hairy torso. His breathing is turning into deep moans and grunts only you can pull out of him.

It's a few more intense moves from you, breasts bouncing, making your ass slapp against his balls, beautiful and perfect small body pleasuring him so fast and he's a panting mess, mouth open and eyes closed until he finally finishes deep, pulling you all against him and envelopping you whole with his two enormous and strong but tired arms, mumlbing another "fuck" with that hoarse, spent voice.

[thedaythatwas]

on nagito komaeda and love

I just think it’s sort of funny that for a character whose (arguably) most well-recognized CG is this: 

komaeda’s narrative so heavily centers love. and I don’t just say this because I’ve had komahina brainrot for years (though this is true!!). even if you don’t care about komahina, it’s tough to deny komaeda is a walking tragedy in large part because of the role that love plays in his life. his characterization is driven by the way his luck has denied him love, and how he seeks it out regardless. in that sense, I think that without understanding komahina as at least one-sided, you miss out on one of the juiciest, most miserable pieces of komaeda’s character development.

tldr; a love-centered reading of komaeda makes sense, recognizing komahina as “a thing” in DR2 (whether you ship it or not) is pretty important to understanding how komaeda operates, and I’ll try to prove it right here under this page break!!

Part 1: Komaeda’s Love Life (or, his life without love)

I think it’s safe to assume that if you clicked here, you know about komaeda’s absurdly miserable, tumultuous childhood, but I’ll do a quick recap just in case! meteor kills his parents on a plane, he inherits a ton of money. he’s kidnapped by a serial killer, he finds a winning lottery ticket in the garbage bag he’s thrown out in. he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer and dementia, he gets into hope’s peak.

in his free time events, komaeda *explicitly* frames his luck cycle as something that takes away the people he loves. it only “takes action” against him after his relatives have died (for the sake of this essay, let’s assume that komaeda loved his parents, or would have at least been hurt by their passing). by way of other close connections… well, his wording here implies that by the time of his diagnosis, he didn’t really have anybody in his life. 

either komaeda didn’t allow himself to get close to anyone after the meteor incident, or he did, and they were taken away by his luck. at some point during his childhood, komaeda learned he should view himself as a death sentence.

so, how does this loss of love shape the komaeda we know? I’ll talk about this in terms of four of his defining (and connected!) traits in DR2 canon – the ones that really make his actions make sense: his self-loathing, his hope-seeking, his learned helplessness, and his certainty that his existence poses a threat to those around him. komaeda’s experience with loss makes him view himself as a source of death, which in turn fuels these tenets of his character. ultimately, his loss and the complexes that arise from it give him good incentive to push people away.

his self-loathing

komaeda hates himself. he views himself as worthless outside of his potential to serve as a “stepping stone” for the hope of the ultimates. he claims that this is driven by his beliefs around talent, which are in turn linked to the way his worldview rests on viewing hope as “absolute good.” the talentless (himself included) are only good for advancing the hope of the talented. still, his self-loathing is a bit more personal than that. take what he says and dig just below the surface, and it’s a clean cut trauma response all the way down. which leads us directly to…

his hope-seeking

komaeda is willing to do literally anything to serve hope. on the island, this (in short) means dying. this is where I prod at komaeda’s reasoning a bit more: komaeda’s willingness to act the way he does in canon also stems from his belief that his dying would be a net good for the world. his existence kills the people around him. his illness will kill him anyway. he has less than no value, and hope is invaluable. to go out for the sake of hope would give his wretched life purpose; it’s his dream come true.

and it’s no mystery why komaeda cares so much about hope: again, it’s a coping mechanism! komaeda’s belief that all bad luck is a necessary precursor for good luck and that hope will always triumph over despair is (as he himself says!) the only reason he’s managed to stay alive. I’ll say it again because I really can’t emphasize it enough – komaeda thinks that just by existing, he kills the people he loves. ouch!

learned helplessness / his existence as a threat

komaeda has, essentially, learned to submit to his luck cycle. all bad luck is good luck in the end – isn’t that amazing?! almost paradoxically, he’s hyper-vigilant about the negative impact his luck has on those around him. this is a tricky one. I make sense of it this way: komaeda’s perception of how much his luck impacts the people close to him isn’t inflated, like, at all. the supernatural way the world bends around komaeda to screw him over really does pose a danger to himself and others, and he takes measures to minimize that danger. his stated acceptance of his luck cycle is… well, again, he’s coping. 

if komaeda really thought that all bad luck is ultimately good luck, he wouldn’t try to protect his classmates from his bad luck. but, as we see in island mode, he does!

but really, who could blame komaeda for lying to himself? I’ll restate the facts. komaeda thinks that luck is absolute power. he says that he’s powerless against it. his luck has taken his family, and it’s left him with nothing but money that he doesn’t want. he’s certain he’s a curse, and there’s no end to that in sight: so long as komaeda exists, he’ll keep on losing – murdering – everything he loves. 

in the face of all of that despair, what can you do but abandon your self-esteem and pray for something good to come out of all of it? how else could somebody possibly survive carrying that burden, truly believing that load will never be lightened?

tldr; komaeda thinks his existence is a threat, and a big chunk of his personality is a frankensteined way of surviving the pain that comes with that. still, we should question how much of his worldview komaeda has really internalized without inner conflict. 

Part 2: Enter Hajime Hinata

we get some answers on that front when we see that despite the clear and obvious danger it poses, nagito komaeda still finds himself falling hard for hajime hinata. that’s really, really loud.

I’ll preface this part by saying that you don’t need to actively ship komahina to understand what I’m trying to get at here. this said, I’ll be recapping an argument you’ve almost definitely seen before: komahina is definitely “a thing” – at the very least as a one-sided thing. to this, I’ll add the (perhaps bold?) claim that without recognizing that much as true, you’re missing out on a big part of what makes komaeda so interesting.

komaeda’s FTEs make it abundantly clear that komaeda has feelings for hinata. apart from his famed failed love confession, the fact that komaeda is willing to allow hinata to get close enough to learn about his views on hope and luck is telling. 

(the smoking gun here hinges on trusting that komaeda was telling the truth during the time you spent with him; in so many words, that he only lied about lying. so, for the sake of argument, let’s assume this is true! there’s good proof for it, anyway.)

if you read his final FTE as komaeda flashing his soul to hinata and making a decision at the very last second to retreat, turning to old coping mechanisms to protect hinata from his luck, it’s sort of a komahina bombshell. that capitulation spells out for us that komaeda understands sharing his life experiences with hinata to be one of the most intimate things he could possibly do.

he recognizes the exact moment he lets hinata get too close – when his life story is finally told – and he does what he’s learned he needs to do to get them both out of that situation safely: he tries to make hinata hate him, and tells himself (and hinata!) that he did it for the sake of hope.

(and yet, komaeda let hinata approach him every FTE, knowing damn well that they were both playing with fire… very interesting.)

now, let’s say you don’t consider the FTEs to be integral to canon. I mean, you can really easily miss out on all of komaeda’s content if you choose not to hang out with him in chapter 1! so, for the skeptic, in the unskippable main story, komaeda tells hinata this:

komaeda cares about hinata despite everything. and I really, truly mean despite everything. at this point in the story, the fact that he still cares about hinata calls into question basically every single one of his core beliefs. he’s read his final dead room prize – not only does hinata not have a talent, we can presume that komaeda also knows hinata became ultimate despair along with the rest of them. 

hinata has continually sought out komaeda’s company, even though komaeda knows himself to be worthless at best, lethal at worst. komaeda was willing to let him get closer, even though he knows how dangerous that is for hinata. he can’t help but let hinata try to know him. 

isn’t he awful? to want what he knows he can’t have, even though that wanting has never done anything but cause pain? he’s really the lowest of the low, to love someone who destroyed the world, who makes him question the views that will allow him to do the only good thing he’s ever been able to do for it: to die for hope. 

and yet, it’s a nod to how incredibly capable of love komaeda is that he’s still willing to reach out for it, no matter how many times it’s burned him in the past, and how much it hurts him in the present to want it. he understands more than anyone that his feelings can only result in disaster. reading komaeda as someone who can’t help but go on loving anyway makes his story hurt so much worse. 

but, you miss a whole lot of that without an eye for komahina. seeing hinata as the eye of komaeda’s emotional hurricane (and keeping tabs on their connection accordingly) allows us to glimpse past the cracks in komaeda’s front. we see that komaeda’s worldview is less stable than he presents it as – hinata is where komaeda’s coping mechanisms, for better or worse, run up against a wall. that tends to be uncomfortable for a guy who’s just barely coping in the first place. then again, growth is supposed to be uncomfortable, isn’t it?

Part 3: The Future He Chooses

so, all of this considered, I think one of the most interesting ways you can flesh komaeda out post-canon is by asking how he’d find himself willing to accept love. whether that love is from hinata or the ultimates, whether it’s platonic or romantic, love is the thing that komaeda wants AND fears in equal measure more than anything. it’s the source of his self-loathing and his obsession with hope. it’s the reason he’s lived the way that he has for so long – lonely, and afraid of being anything but.

getting into a relationship wouldn’t solve komaeda’s problems for him, and that’s a good thing. it would force him to confront old ones, and probably create dozens of new issues for him, too. writing him through that makes for great character study!

hinata (or anyone else, for that matter) can’t love komaeda into loving himself, but he can give him a shoulder to cry on while he works through 22 years of fear and sorts through the wreckage of a worldview that’s long since stopped serving him. I don’t think his progress would be linear. but, I think that he could do it. komaeda learning to accept care is what his healing looks like. 

(well. and physically recovering from cancer and dementia. but that’s neither here nor there!)

a post-canon komaeda learning to love narrative is also in line with the themes of DR2. hinata leads the survivors out of the neo world program because he makes the decision to choose his own future, creating a new version of “hope” for himself and his classmates. likewise, komaeda can make the decision to save himself. that is, if he trusts himself enough to actually touch and hold the thing that he’s never been able to stop reaching out for, anyway.

after all, hinata is lucky too. (and if it turns out he isn’t… y'all like angst fics, right?)

(shoutout to @cynopter for looking this over and confirming that I'm not spouting nonsense <33 thank you for reading my thesis of the week <33)

[cvpidart]

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