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write-it-good-imagines · 2 months

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Nothing More(M) - Five

Hello everyone!! Long time no see, indeed! I must say I hit writer's block these days but in no way did I abandon this story. Even more so now, when I am so eager to continue. This chapter will bring you spicy surprises and turning points ^^. Enjoy!

~6k words, angst, smut

I want to make you forget about that ex. In truth, I loved the idea of you overthinking all your texts. And I wanted all your neighbors to hear you yell when we have sex. I don’t want it to be a problem when we come together. And I don’t want us a secret.

Jackson plopped down on Mark’s couch, still carrying a serious look of disbelief on his face. “Look, I agree but Bambam literally said what we all thought. Collectively.”

Mark rolled his eyes at Jackson’s remark. He was searching for another song in his playlist to play on his vintage stereo system.

“I think we were more shocked to meet her like that,” Jinyoung continued, leaning against an empty small table in the living room. “Showing up at our studio.”

“And in that motorcycle jacket? Take my money. Did you know she had a bike?” Jackson put a hand dramatically over his chest.

Mark nodded. “Yeah, saw it first time I went to her house.”

“Living the dream. Hottest date, to ride the bikes together around town.”

“Could you stop fantasizing on my behalf?” Mark chuckled in Jackson’s direction and the latter laughed at the note. Mark then turned to Jinyoung, who was cocking an eyebrow. “I had no idea she would come to the studio, believe me. I wanted you to meet her under different circumstances.”

Jinyoung crossed his arms over his chest, a playful look in his eye. “You never told us why you came so early from your date.”

“Yeah, cause it wasn’t a date.” Mark commented and the other two men almost simultaneously turned to him. “Had the surprise to see her with another man.”

The playful look disappeared from Jinyoung’s expression. “You’d have to elaborate on that.”

“I can’t really elaborate, I didn’t stay around enough to see what happened next.” Mark shrugged his shoulders. “The guy had her backed against the lockers, a hand holding her cheek. It was not the first time he… they did that. It was the reason Sam came to the studio.”

“To explain.” Jinyoung completed, albeit not in agreement with the situation. “And what’s your take on that?”

Truth was, Mark did not have an exact answer to Jinyoung’s inquiry. Sure, the scenery of Samantha being present in the proximity of another man displeased and hurt Mark. He built some expectations for the two of them, carried away by their unquestionable synergy, and by the trust exuded by Samantha at every small dare or challenge presented by Mark. He believed in her words, and more than anything he believed in her. Mark believed in Samantha when she said she missed him, when she confided in him, when she said there would not be another guy. So, he put in the effort to carry himself in such a manner that would make Samantha desire him even more. At some point, Mark considered trying to have the talk with her, to play with his cards on the table, to build trust in them as more than just an arrangement.

At the very end, Samantha never promised anything, she never drew the line. Mark did not have it in him to throw the bouquet of the flowers he handpicked in the trash. But he was not indifferent to the image of her subjugated by the intimacy of another that was not him.

“I’ll hear her out.” Mark said lastly, seating himself by Jackson on the couch. A short quirk of the eyebrows as Jinyoung opted to simply nod his head.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Jackson chuckled. “If you wanted us to actually believe you, you should have used your acting skills at least.”

“Why? Not that convincing?”

Mark agreed with Jackson. “We’ve known each other 12 years. It takes so much more than that.”

The three of them laughed. Truly, a bond that not many people get to have in a lifetime. And Mark knew Jinyoung, as much as everyone else, was looking out for him.

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

Jinyoung sighed and threw his hands in the air. “Look, I know, a good-looking, bike-riding, smart surgeon woman, who has a mysterious aura about herself. I’d be a hypocrite to say I wouldn’t get interested.”

“You know what he’s gonna say.” Jackson extended an arm over the backrest of the couch.

“All I’m saying is that, given the circumstances, I wouldn’t be happy at all. If a guy touched or held the girl I liked like that.”

All eyes were focused on Mark.

“But why don’t you talk to her and set the record straight? I’m all for explaining,” Jackson shifted his body to face Mark, “but if you told her, you liked her beyond just the sex, at least you’d know it’s either this or that.”

Jinyoung moved his hands in a gesture that indicated he agreed with Jackson. And Mark agreed with them, too. In any given situation, he would be the type of man to express his wishes and voice his wants and needs. Mark did not necessarily like the chasing. Within his chest, he knew why he was still playing the game and why he did not walk away the second he saw Samantha with the stranger man who was playing with his mind. Regardless, Mark let the little evil elves whispering in his ear take the reins of reasoning. The bell of the front door started ringing vigorously.

“It’s complicated.” Mark rose from the couch. “It’s also Samantha at the door,” said he, half-doubtful he spoke the words to convince himself it truly was her at the door. When he opened it, he actually made sure of it.

Samantha looked very different since the morning visit to the studio. The commanding behavior softened to a natural feminine aura, the sun-kissed freckles no longer hidden behind foundation accompanied by the mellow smile she had the day they met, everything stunned Mark.

Samantha felt very different.

“Hey, beautiful.” Mark welcomed Samantha with an observation he’d hoped was as visible to her as much as it was to him. Mark was distracted by the lively bark of Murphy, eagerly anticipating a welcome as warm as his mother’s. So, he obliged, the smile sketched on his face growing as he knelt to ruffle Murphy’s fur.

Samantha followed Mark’s carefree movements with warmth coloring her features. She didn’t know what to expect from him; all that she hoped was that Mark wouldn’t look at her with repulsion. Instead, Samantha was met by the same jovial Mark she’d met the very first time. And it scared Samantha that Mark felt very different since morning, all the same.

Did he care, still?

“Hey, yourself.” Samantha replied and watched as he straightened his body to meet her eyes. How much did she wish that that would’ve been their reunion, that he’d plant a kiss on her lips and circle his arms around her frame in a longing embrace. Suddenly, Mark felt so far apart.

“Come in.”

Mark pushed the door open and guided Samantha into the living room. She noticed two very familiar silhouettes, Jackson as he was putting his leather vest on, and Jinyoung as he was gathering his things. Murphy’s little woofs distracted the two men into looking at the source of sound, smiling at the little creature. Eyes speedily travelled to Samantha’s physique, and both greeted her with a smile. Perhaps Jackson’s more expressive. He was the first one to formally introduce himself. There was a lively song playing in the background.

“I’m Jackson, nice to meet you, finally.”

Samantha prevented her eyes from widening. Maybe Mark did speak about her. She took Jackson’s hand and shook it, enjoying his amiability.

“Likewise, Jackson. I truly hope you didn’t think I was a freak or anything.” Samantha offered a smile of her own eliciting a chuckle from the other. She caught Jinyoung in the corner of her eye as he examined her. Not blatantly, yet not covertly either. Samantha wondered what they both thought about her.

“Far from that,” Jinyoung chimed in, giving his own hand for a greeting, “but you definitely incited the collective curiosity.”

Samantha took the invitation, meeting Jinyoung halfway. Out of everyone, she figured he was the toughest to impress. And on good merit, nonetheless. “I wouldn’t say about myself that I’m an open book but please know I’m more than happy to clear the curiosities.”

The corner of Jinyoung’s lips lifted in a modest smirk. “Maybe I’ll heed the invitation.”

Jackson cleared his throat and Jinyoung pulled back. “Don’t worry about us, we were just leaving.”

“No bother at all. I wouldn’t want us to be so formal, it was very nice meeting you both.” Samantha extended her hands to offer the two men a warm wave and a small dip of her head. Jackson and Jinyoung both did the same, the last action they made prior to heading out the door. “Likewise, Samantha”.

Mark’s loud sigh doubled the echo of the closing door which caused Samantha to fiddle with her fingers. “I must have made a terrible impression, haven’t I? They definitely think I’m a freak.”

“Nope, no freak,” Mark turned around to walk toward Samantha’s direction. As he was approaching, he was unzipping his hoodie. “They just don’t know you. Actually, Jackson was quite smitten with you, I could swear he’d want to steal you for himself.”

It was the first time Mark had openly spoken about his members, even more so about anything that had to do with their opinion about her. Mark’s words were not reassuring enough for Samantha as eyes were still focused on her nervous fingers. She didn’t know what to make of the entire situation. “Jinyoung doesn’t like me.”

Mark grabbed at the hem of his T-shirt to throw it over his head. A bracelet at his wrist was tangling loosely when he guided Samantha’s chin to make her look at him. “Out of all of us, Jinyoung is the one who doesn’t play games when it comes to people. You have to make him trust you before he lets you in."

The initial nervousness Samantha felt while fidgeting with her fingers transformed into butterflies into her stomach. Although the main emotion she was feeling was uneasiness, at his words, and at his sudden naked torso. She had but a moment to watch the muscles of his abdomen contract and relax with the movement of the arm which was holding her frozen in place. Henry’s most similar gesture crossed her mind. “Do you play the game, Mark?”

Mark’s irises were fixated on hers. The tone of his voice softened and lowered with each spoken word, until it became little more than a whisper. A question for a question. “Are we playing the game, Sam?”

Samantha’s lips parted with a sigh, the knot in her stomach tightening. There was no hint to suggest that Mark was not serious with his inquiry. She knew the answer to his question, but the words were frozen like they weren’t hers to speak. While Mark was looking at her, with the stoicism of his body and the seriousness of his eyes, Samantha presented herself agonizingly transparent.

“Wasn’t this the way he was holding you?” taunted Mark, drawing closer to her in an even voice. His other hand found the clothed valley of her hips. “Did you want him to kiss you?”

“No.” Samantha stated, an ounce of desperation evading beyond her control. The infinitesimal distance Mark was keeping between them was slowly driving her crazy. And he knew he held all control. “At no point did I want him to kiss me.”

Silence followed. A harrowing silence growing heavier with each movement of Mark’s brown orbs drawing back and forth on her features. Samantha grabbed Mark by the chest. “Say something goddammit!” she urged.

Mark pulled Samantha into him and slammed his lips against hers. In the background, a sexual melody mix broke into the stereo system. Samantha wobbled on her feet, which caused Mark to tighten his grasp around her figure. The background music melted with the swift ringing in her ears and the tips of her fingers turned cold from the unanticipated contact. Mark’s kiss was raw and hurried, yet obscenely sensual. Samantha’s lungs were deflating quickly, and Mark did not seem too eager to let her breathe. It was the first time he initiated such a kiss. His lips had always worked against hers with tenderness, at times enticing, but never so ardently carnal.

It was a possessive kiss and Mark wanted Samantha to feel it.

Mark pushed their bodies into the couch, and he slid his knee in between her thighs. During the brief moment their lips were separated, Samantha gasped for air, which was rather a sharp moan with Mark settling above her, and his clothed knee tormenting her womanhood. “Mark, I can’t breathe.”

“I couldn’t breathe either when he was towering over you, Samantha.” His visage was wearing the same chilling expression, albeit a sliver of distress hiding behind it. “I imagined him doing all sorts of things to you, with you. Fuck.”

Mark tilted his head to the side, a canine digging into the plush of his lower lip. Samantha’s eyes were watching him intensely. She was devoid of any courage to speak a word. Never would she have imagined she would see Mark like that. Not for her.

“I missed you girl, I missed you. And I…” You’re all I fucking think about.

Samantha gulped. She was observing Mark’s every gesture, every little shift in his facial expression, every word he was speaking. All the feelings in her chest were strangers and Mark was tempting and enchanting. He was everything Samantha wanted him to be. Even when he suppressed his thoughts, Mark was everything Samantha wanted. And he was there, in her immediate grasp.

You’re all I ever thought about.

“Kiss me, Mark.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Mark lowered his body instantly to connect the kiss in a lustful motion. His tongue lost no time to part Samantha’s lips and find her own into a frenzied tango. As his hands slid down to play with the hem of her t-shirt, so did the ever-growing feelings for the woman he was holding. The blood in his veins was pulsating with apparent unrequited affection, and it set him ablaze.

Mark broke the kiss in a nimble motion to undress Samantha of her shirt, to reveal her braless breasts. The tantalizing sight aroused Mark like it did the first time. For him, sex with Samantha felt like it was the first time every time. There was always something new he’d discover in the voluptuousness of her body, in the way her body would curve differently with each heated touch of his hand. Mark licked his lips and undid her shorts.

“Mark…” Samantha mewled, the cold breeze circling her breasts provoked a shudder. She edged her breasts as her eyes darted back and forth between Mark’s hands and the growing bulge in his jeans. Samantha was struggling to form coherent thoughts when he was immorally commanding the pace. She didn’t fight the vulgar lust invading her core. It was easier giving in to the euphoria than acknowledging the truth.

Easier than voicing that Mark should be the one.

“Tell me, darling.” There was a wicked inflection in Mark’s tone, busy with undressing Samantha of her shorts and underwear all at once. “What do you want?”

If it was any other moment, Samantha would have said it was his love she wanted. Still, a hue of shyness colored her rosy cheeks. “I want you, Mark.”

Mark was happy to obey, even if he was convinced Samantha was not speaking seriously. She wanted his body, while he desired her soul. In the heat of the moment, for the short time they’d spend as one, Mark heard what he needed to. That she wanted him, and she’d choose him. He lowered his body to plant kisses through the valley between her breasts, the butterfly pecks eliciting sultry moans out of Samantha’s throat. When his lips passed her chest’s threshold, Mark continued the delicious trail to her abdomen, one hand encircling Samantha’s breast. The other was keeping her thigh from squirming.

Samantha closed her eyes and threw her head into the soft material of the couch to indulge in the intense eroticism Mark was injecting into her body. When his sinful mouth reached her womanhood, Mark chuckled. Then he continued to leave kisses on her inner thigh, deliberately ignoring the wetness of her cavern. Samantha was vexed by Mark’s actions, and she groaned in protest. The hand previously on her breast travelled to her hip to intertwine with her fingers. Mark acknowledged her objection by nibbling a violet spot into her thigh. He traced it with the free index, shifting his body to worship Samantha’s other thigh with blissful movements of the tongue. The little perverted sounds she was making were truly driving Mark to impatience.

The way Samantha’s body was submitting to his febrile touches indicated that she wasn’t that far away either.

Mark pulled away momentarily to unzip his jeans and dispose of them on the floor. The rupture of their connected hands forced Samantha to dig her fingers into the plush of the sofa. The heat in her genitals was much more intense than she anticipated it would be. The simple fact that Mark retreated from tending to her pelvis made her moan loudly, and her vagina clench. Samantha watched him as he undressed himself to reveal his throbbing shaft, and she bit her lip in anticipation. Mark smirked at her and climbed atop her to seat himself between her legs. As he was leaning down to reach her level, the tip of his cock rimmed against soaked clit.

Mark linked their foreheads together, supporting himself with one arm by the side of her head. His other hand rested at the cusp of her jaw. He angled himself at her saturated entrance and slid the tip of his penis inside her. A guttural moan echoed in the air.

“We never did it like this, so tell me if it hurts.” Spoke Mark in a gentle tone and opened his eyes to observe Samantha. She gently shook her head and her fingers stretched into Mark’s shoulder blades to guide his body in a slow thrust. He let out a groan from the depth of his throat, feeling the creamy walls of her vagina enclosing around his shaft. Mark gave her a moment to adapt to his size, gazing intently at her. Samantha was so beautiful, with flushed cheeks and her splendid naked body, all of her offered to him.

Mark felt his heart ache.

“How can you say I’m not making love to you when I’m touching you like this?”

Samantha’s eyelids closed and fluttered open with Mark’s affirmation. The coherent words she tried to form were dispelled instantly when he started moving inside her with controlled thrusts, each forward move taunting her sweet spot. Samantha opened her mouth only to allow the moans to flood the air. And Mark was watching every contraction of her body and indulging in each pulsation of her pussy.

He leaned down to nip at the lobe of her ear. “When you’re giving yourself to me like this?”

“Mark…” Samantha reached to his face to lead the hazel of his eyes to hers. In his eyes she found the same commanding yearning but propelled by a raw sincerity that Mark had not given to her. Everything he was doing gave her a sense of serenity, fueled by the abnormally erotic movements of his hips. In a matter of minutes, she surrendered to him and to the zealous whines her lungs were making.

“What is it, baby?” He picked up the speed of his thrusts, heeding the contractions in Samantha’s womanhood. “You’re close, I know. What I didn’t know is how wet you could get.”

Samantha intended to avert her bashful expression, but Mark’s touch kept her focused on him. “Don’t hide. Let me take care of you.”

Amidst the whorl of sentiments and thoughts racing through her mind, Samantha found an anchor in Mark. She registered all the words he’d spoken to her and all the shielded gestures, and bare confessions. Samantha was powerless to respond, instead. There never was a man in her life to bear his heart on his sleeve, even half of how Mark was bearing his. In her normality, he was an abnormality. And still, he made good of his words and actions and took care of her.

Samantha relaxed in his embrace and extended her body to plant a kiss on his lips. A mellow kiss which Mark reciprocated so naturally that life halted for a second.

Then Mark enveloped Samantha as her body abruptly contracted. She held on to him as she reached for nirvana, her vocal cords enchanting Mark with lascivious breaths repeatedly. Hearing Samantha succumb to ecstasy was the sweetest testament Mark could receive. The hot blood in his veins met the point of boiling as he was getting closer to climax. A couple more lustful thrusts accompanied by roaring groans, each growing faster than the other, brought Mark as close to the edge as he could get. He guided himself out of Samantha’s core to reach his orgasm and paint her abdomen with his white cream.

Samantha enjoyed that particular view of Mark, so much that it was his turn to show a timid smile. It took a little while for Samantha to follow what happened, and when she did, both of them chuckled at each other.

“I’ll get some paper towels.”

“You’ll find me here.”

Samantha’s ears followed the sound of Mark’s steps and the muffled grunt that followed soon after. He returned with a handful of paper towels, and Samantha couldn’t look away from his still hard penis.

Mark took one cloth to clean his canvas half-heartedly. “Round two?”

Samantha giggled. “I’ll have to refuse. Round one was unexpectedly intense.”

“You have no idea how sexy you are.”

Samantha felt her cheek darken once more. She was watching silently as Mark was wiping her abdomen. When he was done, he walked away to throw the used napkins.

“Are you okay? You’re unusually quiet.” Mark’s voice reverberated through the kitchen.

“I’m alright, just a bit tired.” She responded, and Mark immediately walked back to her. He knelt down with her back facing her, gesturing for her to hop on his back.

“Let’s get to bed.”

Samantha hummed and attached herself to Mark’s body. She had never noticed how broad his back was, under the hoodies and oversized shirts he was usually wearing. Mark effortlessly rose from the ground and carried her to the nearby bedroom. He carefully seated Samantha on the edge of his neat bed, and she smiled to herself at the considerable number of pillows residing there. In front of the bed there was a small dressing which Mark opened to retrieve one clean shirt and a pair of shorts for himself.

“I don’t want you to get cold. Here, arms up.” Mark whispered, and Samantha complied with his actions. The dark shirt Mark had given her was large enough to reach her knees. He tossed the thin summery blanket away and helped Samantha up into the nook of his bed.

“Thank you, Mark. You’re so protective of me.” She smiled softly and happily accepted the invitation to encompass herself into Mark’s arms.

He raised an eyebrow, even though she couldn’t see. “You don’t want me to be?”

“I do,” she answered quickly and laced their hands together. “I like this a lot.”

Mark tilted his head to follow the lazy sunset shimmer through the window. The loose hand he folded under his head served as a good excuse to avoid looking Samantha in the eye. As easy as it had been to drown in her orbs while laying together, just as hard it was to do so while returning to reality. Samantha noticed the atypical silence. With the aphrodisiac sensations fading away, all the words that Mark spoke to her started to click. Samantha was drawing absentmindedly on Mark’s forearm with the tip of her index, trying to reproduce the memory of each phrase. The subtle agony of I couldn’t breathe either when he was towering over you, Samantha, the slight panic in the I imagined him doing all sorts of things to you, with you.

The melancholy in the How can you say I’m not making love to you when I’m touching you like this? which made Samantha’s heart tremble was the seed of hope planted in her soul. If there was any source of truth to say that Mark truly harbored feeling for her, it was not tangible anymore.

Mark, once again, felt so different.

“What are you thinking about, Mark?” Samantha looked up at him just in time to see how breathtaking the warm colors of the sunset appeared on his features.

He was silent for a while. “About you.”

Samantha furrowed her eyebrows. “What about me? I’m right here.”

A little sigh. “Nothing… it’s just I’m leaving tomorrow, and we won’t see each other a while again.”

“I know…” Samantha’s voice trailed off in sadness. “I don’t want you to go.”

Mark gave a little squeeze to her hand, eyes still watching the first moments of dusk adorning the sky. “That’s not under my control, unfortunately.”

“I don’t want you to go out of my life, Mark.”

Samantha could swear the vein in Mark’s wrist strained at her words. Still, his expression remained impassable. After a couple moments spent in unmerciful silence, he continued. “Do you think about us? About what we could be?”

The palm of her hand was starting to sweat. Easy answer? Yes, I cannot devote myself to anything that’s not you. True answer? Do you want to take my broken heart? Samantha sensed that she was running out of time, and in hindsight, she should have known that earlier. A man like Mark who had the world at the tips of his fingers, who could have anyone he wished for, wouldn’t say the things he said to any woman that easily. All of it meant something, it should have meant something. It was everything Samantha clung to, for it to mean something. She had to make a decision.

“Forget I asked. You don’t need to say anything.”

“He hit me, Mark.”

The music formerly playing in the background silence of the living room stopped altogether. Mark’s phone must have died, and so did his concentration at Samantha’s sudden confession. His head jerked back to her direction in an impulse to check if she was hurt, even if there was no earthly possibility for her body to be in physical pain at that moment.

Samantha’s mouth was dry, and it shocked her to see Mark’s immediate reaction. She didn’t lose him, he was still there with her. “He hit me after he killed a mother and her unborn child in the operating room.”

“How are we doing there, mrs. Dalton? Can you say something for me?”

Henry’s deft motions of his nimble hands kept raising the standards for a second-year resident. The attendings in the observing room were watching the awake brain surgery with great interest, as was the then-director of the hospital.

“Oh, I can’t wait for this to be done,” the woman rubbed her hand lovingly on her pregnant belly. “Sandra should know the adventures mommy went through.”

“Status on the baby, Doctor Stoss?”

Up until the question was addressed to her, Samantha did not unpeel her eyes from the fetal monitor. “Like a Swiss watch.”

“Keep saying the good news, Doctor Stoss. I’m sure mama Dalton would love to hear that more often.”

“Oh Doctor Carter, I’m sure you were born such a charmer.”

Samantha’s vision was fixated on the handle of the dressing door. She was explaining her memories as if she was living them again. “This surgery had half the hospital watching. It was a procedure previously not done in that medical center, and Henry had had the privilege to participate in one once when we were interns in Toronto. He’s thinking of himself as the hotshot, as he should. His skill and knowledge are top-notch. But they failed him.”

“Doctor Stoss over there can attest to me being a charmer. Or not.” Henry chuckled under his surgical mask, and he quickly stole a glance at Samantha, before focusing on the region of the tumor which he had just reached. “We’re here, mama. Shouldn’t take too long to take it out.”

Mrs. Dalton’s vitals spiked up a level and Samantha observed the nerves on her face. She left her intern in charge of the fetal monitor and approached the woman to reassure her. “It’s going to be okay. We’re here for both you and your little girl.”

Just as Samantha was returning to her previous post, henry was actively preparing to remove the tumor located in a tricky area of mrs. Dalton’s brain. “I’m in.”

The collective audience in the gallery leaned forward to witness Henry’s work. At that point, the loud beeping of the machines pierced the operating room with alarming sounds.

“Doctor Carter, baby’s vitals are starting to drop.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on with my baby?”

“Please try to remain calm, Mrs. Dalton. These reactions happen naturally when a tumor body is being extracted. Once I take this out, everything will get back to normal—”

“Only it didn’t.” Samantha’s fingers curled unconsciously as if reaching out for a scalpel. “I was repeatedly telling him I needed to do a C-Section to save the girl and put her in NICU. At seven months old, she had all the odds of surviving. If only we moved fast enough…”

The distressing sounds of the monitors multiplied when the woman lost consciousness. Her vitals became hectic graphics on the monitors, and Henry visibly stiffened.

“Henry, we are losing this baby. I need to perform the emergency C-Section now.”

“No. I’ll save them both, wait.”

While Henry was applying the standard emergency measures, Samantha’s attention was distracted by the uneasiness of the spectator gallery. She briefly noticed Jonathan, with a looming look on his face that any surgeon regardless of their specialty would understand. The unborn baby was losing its vitals.

“Henry, I’ll move forward. Scalpel, please!”

“I told you to wait! Doctor Stoss, I need you to follow the protocol of my OR.”

“I guess indeed it was his surgery. But those were not his lives to take.”

Half-heartedly, Samantha hesitated to start the neonatal protocol. While Henry had authority, he did not have a positive chance to save both lives. When the fetal monitor fell flat, Samantha went against his instructions and cut into the mother’s belly.

“By the time we took out the little girl, her heart had already stopped beating. We did all the resuscitation maneuvers we knew and could…” Samantha let out a sigh, and Mark pulled her tighter into him. “All hell broke loose. I don’t know when Jonathan got to the OR, but he was there for all of it.”

“Time of death…” Samantha’s discouraged voice echoed throughout the macabre silence of the operating room. “Six thirty-one.” Two paces away, resuscitation maneuvers were still going for the woman on the table. When Henry realized there was no use for them anymore, he stepped away from the body, prompting everyone else to follow his example. “Time of death, six thirty-five.”

Nobody in the room dared move a finger. Two casualties in an operating room which, on paper, could have been avoided. It was a medical disaster. Samantha pulled down her surgical mask, to try and take hold of the situation. “We’ll need to go outside and inform the father—”

“You let her die.”

All eyes fell on Henry. Samantha couldn’t believe her ears. “Excuse me?”

“That baby could have been saved.”

Henry’s voice grew louder, more assertive. Samantha stood her ground, deliberately choosing to ignore Henry’s last comment. “I understand this must be a difficult situation for you, Doctor Carter, but in no way am I to blame.”

“That baby could have been saved!”

As his voice grew into a striking holler, Samantha no longer recognized the man in front of her. She was searching for the proficient doctor, for the partner that he was. And for the lover that he used to be.

“Henry,” Samantha kept calm even though her head was spinning in disbelief “you told me to follow your protocol in your OR—"

At that point, Samantha could not register what had just happened. Henry raised his hand at her and slapped her on the cheek. There was a shared gasp among the people in the room who refused to understand Henry’s tameless reaction. By the time Samantha tilted her head back to look at Henry, Jonathan had stepped up to punch him in the face.

Mark raised an eyebrow. Although he got off to a rocky start with Jonathan, his respect for him grew substantially.

“A couple of guys had to restrain Jonathan because clearly that wouldn’t have been the last punch he would’ve thrown. After that, I went to inform the father of his… losses. Henry was not allowed to accompany me. The father sued the hospital for malpractice, and I have no idea how they settled. I only saw Henry once, after that. They summoned all the medical operating staff to testify. He never looked me in the eye, not once. I wanted to believe that he was sorry, something to make me believe our relationship was not a lie. I never got closure for that.”

Mark waited patiently for Samantha to continue. When she did not, he placed a chaste kiss on the crown of her head. “Did you need that? Closure?”

She sighed. “I guess I did. When you think you have something of that magnitude with someone, only for it to fall apart in the most gruesome way, I needed some sort of a life raft. Truth is, we started falling apart even before he hit me. Henry was starting to become distant and full of himself. But I never expected him to be violent.”

Mark noticed the flake of regret in her voice, to briefly wonder how things are settled in the vast Universe. Hadn’t Henry done that, Mark wouldn’t have gotten to fall in love with her. Life was funny, that way.

Samantha sighed, once again, yet more out of liberation. Albeit painful, she truly needed to convey the feelings out loud for them to become less repressive. Maybe to disappear.

“Can you understand now, Mark? Why he was able to hold me down at all? Why it is tough for me to trust someone again?”

Mark’s lungs filled with air. “Even me?”

Samantha closed her eyes. He did not need to spell it out loud for her to understand what he meant. “I just need a little more time, Mark.”

Indeed, he never expected to hear anything different, it still did not mean it hurt less. On the one hand, because Samantha still didn’t see him fit to be trustworthy, and on the other hand because he seemingly was giving more than she was ready to receive.

“Should I keep my distance then?” his voice was flat, too much so that he must have given away he was disappointed, because Samantha tightened their holding hands.

“No.” She answered timidly, looking up at him for the first time in a long while. Mark’s eyes were diverted to the emerging summer night. He was slipping away through her fingers, once more.

“I don’t know if I can give you both ways.” Not when I know I'll never treat you the way he did.

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h00mandied · 6 months

Text

🌧️🎶

비가 내리고 음악이 흐르면 난 당신을 생각해요 당신이 떠나시던 그 밤에 이렇게 비가 왔어요 비가 내리고 음악이 흐르면 난 당신을 생각해요 당신이 떠나시던 그 밤에 이렇게 비가 왔어요

When rain falls and the music flows, I think of you That night when you left it was raining like this When rain falls and the music flows, I think of you That night when you left it was raining like this 난 오늘도 이 비를 맞으며 하루를 그냥 보내요 오 아름다운 음악같은 우리의 사랑의 이야기들은 흐르는 비처럼 너무 아프기 때문이죠 오 As I stand in the rain today too, I let the day pass by Oh, like a beautiful music our love stories are hurtful just like the flowing rain

난 오늘도 이 비를 맞으며 하루를 그냥 보내요 오 아름다운 음악같은 우리의 사랑의 이야기들은 흐르는 비처럼 너무 아프기 때문이죠 오 그렇게 아픈 비가 왔어요 As I stand in the rain today too,I let the day pass by Oh, like a beautiful music our love stories are hurtful just like the flowing rain Oh and then the sad rain fell

***

#jay b #jinyoung #lim jaebeom #park jinyoung #jj project #jjp #bnyoung #bnior #got7 #moodboard #rainyday #rain #like rain like music #lyric #kim hyunshik #mood #angst #Spotify

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stay-mon-army · 9 months

Text

Love After Lock-Up

Warnings: reader went to prison, family disappointment/not accepting, implied violence

Word Count: 2,356 words

Pairing: Jinyoung (Got7) x gn!reader

Requested?: yes, by @crzy-devil - I hope this isn’t horrible, I’m so sorry it took me so long to complete. I’m also sorry I went off the grid for like months 😭

Dear Jinyoung,

Life in prison is surprisingly dull! I have so much spare time to just think. I spend most of my time thinking about you and all our times together before I got into this stupid mess. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I can’t be with you now. I hope things are going good for you at home and you aren’t missing me too much. I’m going to be released soon, and I can’t wait to be home with you. Do you think you could pick me up? I want your face to be the first I see when I’m finally free to be with you again. Maybe we can go to a cafe and just talk. You can tell me all about what I missed while I was away. I miss hearing your voice and holding your hand. I mostly just miss being near you. I’ll see you soon, my love! Wait for me, I swear it’ll all be worth it soon.

Love,

Y/N

On the day of your release from prison, you couldn’t wait to see Jinyoung. He had written you back and promised that he would be there to pick you up. You collected your belongings from the guard at the front desk and make your way to the exit before you.

It’s an overcast day; the sun is hidden behind rolling clouds, but thankfully it isn’t raining. As you step out into the crisp fall day, you spot a black car, and leaning against it, the love of your life. You face breaks into a smile and you see his face mirror yours as he pushes away from the hood of his car. For a second, you can’t move. It had been months since you had seen him, and it felt like a dream to finally see him here, in person, smiling at you and waiting for you like some prince. You hardly deserved him.

You broke out of your frozen state as he steps closer to you. You throw yourself into his arms, holding onto him as he buries his head into your neck. He squeezes you close to him, and you feel him breathe deeply against your neck, trying not to cry. You both had missed each other so much, it was hard not to tear up as you’re finally able to hold each other again and feel each others love like this.

After a moment, you pull away, moving your hands from around his waist up to cup his face. You take a moment just looking over his face as he gazes down at you, his eyes wet and shining but full of love. Finally, you pull him down to place your lips against his gently, slowly, enjoying the feeling of his skin against yours again after so long. His lips are gentle against yours as well, not pushing or pressuring but slowly exploring yours, matching your pace. It feels new and fresh, but also so comforting and safe, like coming home after a long, uncomfortable work day.

Finally, you let go of each other and he steps back to open the car door for you. You slide into the seat, placing your small bag of personal items between your feet as he closes the door and rounds the car to get into the drivers seat. He slides into his seat, clicking his seatbelt into place and starting the car smoothly. You missed the gentle ease he had with all his movements, like everything came naturally to him. His smooth movements, his gentle air, his ability to simultaneously fill a room and quiet the edges of a growing tension— all of him was so unlike everything that you were. Everything was so effortless to him and your love for him was only made sharper as he seemed to cleanly sweep away all your dirty secrets, round out your abrasive edges, dulled any growing fires of rage — he truly made you a better person by simply loving you.

He turns to flash you a smile, one hand gripping the wheel as he drives, the other reaching over to rest upon your thigh. You didn’t even realize he had started driving but you look out the window now and see the scenery change as he takes you away from that horrible place.

“What are you thinking about?” God, you had missed his voice. You nearly melt in your seat, those months of fear and stress and discomfort washing away with just the timbre of his voice.

“How much I missed you.” You answer honestly, letting your hand drift to run gentle circles and twirls around the skin of his hand and arm that’s reaching across the center console to touch you. You glance over at his side profile as he drives; his sharp jawline, the line of his nose, the prominence of his lips. Now that you’ve got him back, you’ve decided to commit him to memory. You had no intentions of ever leaving him again, but today, you would drink in as much of him as you could to make up for all that lost time. “Where are we going?”

“You said we should go to a cafe and catch up, so I’m taking you to Belle Fleur.” He smiles, his eyes crinkling up as he hears your soft gasp.

“Where we had our first date. Jinyoung, you’re too sweet.” You tear up again, which you’re sure you’ll do a million times throughout the day. No doubt being with him again was going to have you emotional. Lord knows you had cried plenty while you were in jail because of how much you missed him.

He doesn’t respond, just flipping his hand over to hold yours as he smiles out the windshield as he drives. He never had to say much of anything for you to feel the love he had for you.

You drive in relative silence for a while, the only sound being the gentle music floating from the radio. You enjoy the silence; you didn’t get a lot of quiet time in prison, with so many other people crammed into such a small place with little privacy.

Finally, Jinyoung pulls into the parking lot of the sweet little cafe and he lets you go just long enough for you both to hop out of the car. He opens the door to the cafe for you and guides you up to the counter with a hand resting on the small of your back, protective and possessive, just what you loved about him. He wasn’t overly possessive by any means, but the small signs to show off that you belonged with each other made your stomach erupt into butterflies.

He ordered for you at the counter, memorizing your favorite order even after so long not hearing it. You try to hide your smile, a feeling of exaltation you’ve never felt before spreading through you.

He takes both of your orders and you lead the way over to a small table in the corner by the windows. You like getting to people watch— you used to spend hours with a good drink and some snacks, just watching people going about their normal days through the windows of a cafe, feeling small and yet complete.

Jinyoung sits before you, a smile on his face as he pushes your drink your way, takes his own, and settles the baked goods you had picked out between you on the table. You watch his movements quietly, just drinking in his existence for another moment. Finally he stops, turning his eyes back to you as he cups his hands around his coffee.

“So,” you say, settling back into your seat and bringing your drink up to your lips for a sip. “Tell me everything I missed.”

~~~

You spent hours at that table with Jinyoung, catching up on all the little things you both experienced over the last few months. You were surprised by how normal life continued to be for you both— that despite the weird place you had found yourself in, both of you were still alive and healthy and back together, and nothing bad had happened to either of you.

Finally, the store began to close and it was time for you both to leave. You didn’t have a place of your own anymore, so you had to find someplace to stay. However, before you could panic, Jinyoung offered to let you stay with him and his family for a little while, until you found a job and your own place. You had been talking about moving in together before everything had gone wrong anyway, so you didn’t think it would be weird or difficult. You loved each other; it was only natural that you would want to spend your time together.

You hadn’t taken into account, however, that Jinyoung lived with his family, who might have different thoughts on everything than you two.

When you finally got back to Jinyoung’s house, you were ready to collapse into bed and rest for hours. The rush of getting ready to see Jinyoung again and the adrenaline of finally being out in the real world again had worn off and you could feel your body growing sluggish and lazy.

However, as you entered the house, you could tell instantly it wasn’t going to be that easy.

You could hear the TV running in the living room as you and Jinyoung took off your shoes and slid into the slippers in the hallway. He places a hand on your back as you both enter the house, as though he also senses the way the air feels charged as you both pass into view of his family. His mother reaches for the remote, slowly raising it to mute the tv before them before sinking back into the couch, her face blank of any emotions.

Jinyoung leads you into the living room, his hand both a comfort and a guiding hand into the lions den.

“Mom, dad, you remember (Y/N). They’re going to be staying with us for a little while, until they can get back on their feet.” His tone is kind yet firm, meant to show respect to his parents but that he wouldn’t be taking criticism about the situation. You swallow, folding your hands before you in the hopes to look respectful as well. The last thing you need is to look like some heathen come to impose and make a mess of their lives. You just wanted to fix everything.

His father stands, back straight as a rod as he looks first over you, then his son.

“I will not let some miscreant live in my house. I can excuse your absolutely idiotic feelings for this felon, but I refuse to allow them to live under my roof.” His voice is void of emotions, nearly calm. And yet you don’t miss the slight shake in his hands, like he’s trying so hard not to throw something.

“Father-”

“No.” His mother cuts in now, also standing. “You will listen to your father. If you wish to waste your life chasing after someone who wishes to ruin both of your lives, that is your right, but you will not bring some heathen into our household without our permission. If your father says they cannot stay, then they cannot stay. That is final.”

“Then I will be leaving.” Jinyoung doesn’t bat an eye, but you do. You turn to him quickly, placing a hand to his chest, whispering his name quietly. He doesn’t look at you, however. He simply stands there, staring into his fathers eyes. “If you refuse to allow me to help (Y/N) in this household, then I’m moving out. I’ll get us an apartment somewhere. But know that I will not be leaving (Y/N) alone. They went to jail for me.”

“Jinyoung, stop.”

You don’t glance between him and his parents, seeing the way his mother straightens behind his father, whose eyes have darkened. You push gently on his chest, hoping to back him away from the situation. You will leave, you can figure something else out, he doesn’t have to ruin his relationship with his family.

“No, (Y/N), it’s time that they learn the truth. (Y/N) was arrested because they were defending me. The people they supposedly assaulted? They were harassing me, and when (Y/N) stepped in to get them to leave us alone, things escalated and (Y/N) did what they needed to keep us safe. The courts wouldn’t listen, but that doesn’t make them any worse of a person. They did what I couldn’t do.” He looks down at you, meeting your eyes for the first time since entering the house. “They saved me.”

You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. Neither of you had talked about what went down that day. Neither of you wanted to think about the horrible things that happened, and the even worse things that could’ve happened if you hadn’t reacted so quickly.

His parents don’t move, don’t make a sound as you begin to cry into Jinyoung’s shoulder. That he would defend you now, after all this time defending him, broke your heart to pieces. He pulls you back to look into your eyes once again.

“I love you, (Y/N), and I won’t let anyone keep me away from you for another moment.” And with that he kissed you, in front of his parents, as though he wasn’t baring his very soul to you and them. As though this didn’t mean the world to you. As though he didn’t risk throwing away his relationship with his family for you.

“They can stay.” You almost don’t believe your ears, and by the time you turn around to face them, both of his parents have turned and are heading back towards their room.

You turn back to Jinyoung, your face softening as you see the grin splitting his face as though you had agreed to marry him.

“The truth will set you free. And now, you’re all mine.” He whispers, leaning in for one more kiss.

#jinyoung #park jinyoung #jinyoung imagine #park jinyoung imagine #got7 imagine #park jinyoung got7 #got7 angst #got7 fluff #jinyoung fluff #jinyoung angst

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sweetestofchaos · 2 years

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Gᴏᴛ7 Rᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ...𝐴𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲: 𝖳𝗎𝗋𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎

a/n: For the life of me, I cannot remember who requested this...I know it was a while ago. So yeah, sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy this one.

Mark

Mark would just stare at Jackson with wide eyes for a few seconds before he caught himself and looked down at his folded hand in his lap. Jackson liked you too, huh? Well, shit. Now what was he supposed to do? Jackson was his boy, one of his best friends. Did he really want to put that all on the line just to maybe get the chance to call you his? Mark sighed and shook his head before he spoke up.

“I like y/n too…I have for a while now.” Mark could see the worry on Jackson’s face, thankfully he was in the same mindset as him. “I-I already asked them on a date, and they agreed.”

Jaebeom

Jaebeom wouldn’t be surprised at all. He knew someone was bound to see how great of a person you were, so why wouldn’t it have been Mark. Now the question was what were the two of them going to do about it. At the end of the day, him and Mark were boys. Bros before hoes as they say, right?

Jaebeom laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “If you like them, ask em out Hyung. You would look good together.”

Jackson

Jackson would feel like his world was crashing down around him. Why? Of all the people in the world, Youngjae had to like you. The one person that made Jackson’s heart go into overtime with just a smile or wave of their hand. No, this was horrible. Jackson wouldn’t be afraid to let Youngjae know that he feels the same way about you. If anything, Jackson would make it a point to let Youngjae know, no matter what they would still be cool.

“How can you like, Y/N? They’re supposed to be with me!” *dramatic screaming that he does*

Jinyoung

Jinyoung wouldn’t even be bothered to hear that Bambam has feelings for you. He knew he was bound to have a rival, but he didn’t feel threatened by Bambam at all. He knew you like the back of his hand and Bambam wasn’t your type. Jinyoung would smirk to himself and pat Bambam on the shoulder. He would encourage him to say something. Jinyoung would rather you break the news to Bambam about liking someone else rather than do it himself.

“Give it a shot, Bambam. I wish you luck.”

Youngjae

Youngjae would feel bad, extremely guilty for even liking the same person as Yugyeom. How did they fall for the same person? Didn’t that only happen on tv? Youngjae would confess to Yugyeom that he liked you too and the two of them would be at a standstill. The cinnamon roll of the group versus the baby of the group…oh no.

“Have y-you said anything to y/n? Do they like you?”

Bambam

Bambam would be in shock. There is no way that his Hyung, his leader would have feelings for the same person as him. No freaking way! How the hell can that even be real? Jaebeom liking you? Bambam would snort and flat out tell Jaebeom to let you go. He wouldn’t be mean about it but come on. He’s old and Bambam is young!

“Come on gramps, like there’s even a competition between the two of us.” Bambam would joke and Jaebeom would let him try to win your heart.

Yugyeom

WAR. The end all be all…no second chances. This was going to be brutal and Yugyeom was ready to win your heart. He loved Jinyoung like an older brother, but you were someone so very special to his heart. You were the only other person that really understood Yugyeom and didn’t treat him like a little kid. You treated him like a man, and he was going to prove himself.

“Hyung, y/n is very special to me…are you sure they mean as much to you?”

#soc got7 #mark tuan #lim jaebeom #jackson wang #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #got7 angst #got7 reactions #soc requests #request 32 #got7 x gn reader

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babecoups · 2 years

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think it’s a game masterlist

series info:

↠ pairing: baseball team captain!jinyoung x fucc girl!reader ↠ genre: angst | fluff | smut | college au | enemies to lovers | enemies with benefits | cam boy!jinyoung | rich kid!reader ↠ summary: You and Jinyoung clash like fire and ice. But surprisingly, you do have something in common. Like you, Mr. Prince Charming has some skeletons in his closet that most would kill to discover. Unfortunately for him, what he does in the dark could cost him his future and his clean image. If he wants to keep that big mouth of yours from spilling his little secret, he’ll just have to keep it...occupied. ↠ rating: 18+ ↠ current word count: // ↠ series warnings: contains mature and explicit scenes in every chapter. not suitable for audiences under the age of 18. ↠ taglist info: You will find the taglist form linked below. Before filling it out and submitting, please make sure you are of age and that you reblog this post. Those who do not follow the rules will not be added.

chapters:

↳ coming soon

drabbles:

↳ coming soon

extras:

tracking tags: #multiheaux-house (author tracking) | #fic: think it’s a game (story tracking) | #camkandii (visuals)

Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work.

#park jinyoung #jinyoung x reader #got7 x reader #got7 smut #jinyoung smut #jinyoung angst #jinyoung fluff #got7 angst #got7 fluff #kvanity #got7 imagines #fic: think it's a game #fromthebabe

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hotpinkhoshi · 2 years

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how it ends ; 07. us

pairing: jinyoung x reader ft. jung jaehyun (nct)

genre: angst

warnings: cursing, alcohol, eventual smut

a/n: y'all had to know this was coming lmao

You hadn't planned on staying with Jinyoung. But he had never been a strong drinker and you'd wager he'd drank heavier last night than he ever had.

He'd emptied it all in the toilet while you sat on the floor next to him, your hand rubbing his back because you just couldn't help it. He looked pathetic - pale, teary eyed, with his forehead pressed into the toilet seat between heaves.

At one point, he'd turned to you once he was sure he was done, gulping and looking like he might actually start crying in front of your own eyes.

"Thank you," he said after a silence long enough to have your heart pounding. "And I'm sorry."

Your hand dropped from his back to your lap. "It's okay. You just went a little too hard tonight."

Jinyoung shook his head, sitting up straighter and reaching for your hand. Once his fingers closed over yours, your breath caught in your throat.

"Not this. Well, yeah, this. But..." he licked his lips and grimaced, probably at the taste of his own mouth. "For everything else. It was all so, so stupid. If I'd just talked to you-"

"You don't have to do that," you cut him off. "Just. It's in the past. We don't have to talk about it."

"Please," he said, voice weak, and squeezed your hand. "I never wanted to make excuses because you deserved better, but I... I realize you've spent the last year thinking it was something it wasn't. Hurting more because of that."

You swallowed as you pondered over his words for a moment. You should have told him it was fine, you didn't want to talk, get up and leave him there. But your heart got the best of you like it always did with Jinyoung.

"What do you mean?" you asked, your eyes drifting down to the sight of his hand covering yours. It was warm and familiar, even now.

Jinyoung ran his teeth across his lip, choosing his words carefully. "Nothing ever happened. With Hyejin. No - no, that's not true. It got blurry for a bit, but what you saw that day, it never went beyond that."

Wounds you'd tended for the last year started to split again, still in the process of healing, jagged and stitched together haphazardly. You pulled your hand from his and turned away, shaking your head.

"That was enough, Jinyoung. It doesn't make it hurt any less."

"No," he said, sighing and sitting up straighter. "That's not what I meant. It just, if you thought that it went further, that we-"

"Stop it," you said. "Please. That was never the problem, you just... you don't get it. Even now."

Jinyoung huffed, frustrated, and reached for you again. You snatched your hand away and scooted back, putting more distance between you.

"You didn't talk to me for months. Months. You'd wake up, leave for work while I was in the shower, and come home after I'd made dinner and hardly say a word to me before you were opening your laptop and working until I fell asleep. That's if you even came home while I was still up. On the weekends, you kept finding reasons to head into the office. It wasn't about her. It was you. Us. You made me into this pathetic little girl waiting for you every night, reaching for you, wanting you to love me."

"I never stopped loving you, Y/N."

"Stop. I don't want to hear it. You didn't love me, not at the end, or you wouldn't have treated me like that."

"Y/N," Jinyoung said, his voice raw and shaky. "I know... that's all true. Everything you said. I fucked up. I could feel the cracks growing in us and instead of trying to fix it, I shut down. I closed off."

This time, when he reached for you, you were too weak to pull away. Stupid. "But I never stopped loving you. I just stopped deserving you."

You crumbled then, the steel dam you'd built starting to give way. "J-Jinyoung, please," you whispered, not knowing what you were asking for, just that this hurt so badly.

You weren't sure who reached for who, but all of the sudden you were in his arms, even though his sweater had vomit on it and now it was in your hair. He held you as you sobbed, letting your open wounds bleed out.

"I loved you, I loved you so much," you said, borderline babbling through your tears, as he stroked your hair.

"I know. I know. I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered through his own tears.

"I would have done anything for you," you said, burying your face into his chest. "I just wanted you. Like it used to be."

You felt Jinyoung nod as he held you tighter. "I know. God, if I could go back-"

"I wish we could," you whispered.

The words hung in the air between you as soon as they left your lips. You shouldn't have said that. It wasn't that simple for so many reasons.

You stayed in his arms though, letting the silence wrap around the two of you and no matter how wrong this was, just staying in this moment as long as you could.

You'd been so angry at him for so long. He'd taken advantage of your loyalty and, to your knowledge, had been enjoying the company of another woman. You'd only seen a moment between them, you could only assume it had gone further than that.

But it hadn't. If you believed him, at least.

Did that change anything? No, not really. But hearing that he did feel remorse, that he knew you'd drifted and he'd fucked up, that was what you'd needed to hear this last year. Maybe now you could start to heal.

"Y/N," Jinyoung said after what felt like an hour in his embrace.

"Hm?" You still didn't move.

"I think I'm going to puke again," he replied.

You pulled away instantly, just in time for him to turn and yak away for hopefully the last time.

#writing #jinyoung angst #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung imagine #got7 fanfic #got7 angst #got7 imagine #howitends

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mykoreanlove · 9 months

Text

Things that made him run to you

[part 1]

[part 2]

“Jinyoung, for fuck’s sake, can you concentrate please?”

No, he couldn’t. Ever since he saw you a couple nights ago, you were living in his head rent-free. He didn’t tell the others – didn’t want to – as he wanted to keep you private for now. Only his to enjoy.

He bumped into you at a local bar, after downing a couple of beers with his acquaintances. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you. You were still as beautiful as ever but something about you was different. Something about you changed and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

You casually chatted for a while, hitting it off as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you. As you updated him on the recent events in your life he mustered you with hawk-eyes. You were radiant, almost beaming. Your pretty eyes sparkled like diamonds. You smiled whole-heartedly, the smile even reaching your eyes. You spoke your mind confidently, not caring about the opinions of others. He finally figured it out – your whole demeanor had changed. You were on another vibe, another energy that he was drawn to like a moth to the flame.

He stopped listening altogether and only thought about getting you back. He had to have you; he was desperate for you. Seeing you like that – confident, bossy, savage – was beyond attractive.

And you knew. You noticed his pupils dilating, him taking sharper breaths, his dark eyes being glued to your lips – you noticed and loved every second of it.

This man right here broke your heart when he abandoned you back then.

Or so you thought. It took you some time to see the truth of it all, but eventually you did and from that moment on you had nothing but appreciation for him. Because of Jinyoung you were able to be real with yourself. You took his words to heart and worked on yourself. You started loving yourself like you deserve to be loved. Did you imagine it was him in the beginning? Most definitely. But after a while you understood that you were good on your own. You made it into a project, you started loving yourself as a means to get him back but surprisingly you fell in love with yourself for real.

Now you looked into the mirror and loved what you saw. Now you felt happy and content, even if no man was around. Now, you felt like the baddest bitch on this planet. And other people? They thought so, too. They saw the changes in you, sensed the new energy you were embodying and acted accordingly.

Jinyoung wasn’t the only lover you bumped into. Old flames, new flames, they were all lining up the street to be with you. Oh, how your life had changed. Now, they all wanted to be with you. Courting you, spoiling you, making you their #1 priority. And for the first time in your life, you understood why.

“You seem different, y/n.” You looked up into his eyes, almost smitten by his enticing looks. You smiled at him, warmly, before taking his hands into yours.

“I feel different, Jinyoung. And you are the one I have to thank!” He couldn’t follow; his questioning eyes giving him away. “You wanna thank me? If anything, I thought you’d wanna punch me for breaking up with you.”

You laughed out loud, realizing how much you had missed him. “Well, I wanted to… in the beginning. But I realized that you were right. I was a total wreck back then. I relied on you to make me happy and loved and important and stuff but being your emotional slave was no way to live. So, I took your words to heart, and I started to work on myself.” You squeezed his hands, relieved to finally say that out loud. “Thank you, Jinyoung. Thank you for opening my eyes. That heartbreak changed me for the better and I can now say that I love myself. All of me – the good, the bad, the ugly. I made peace with myself, and I feel like I’m ready for love. True love!”

Jinyoung replayed that scene over and over. Back then he wished for this outcome, but he never would have anticipated it coming true. You had changed and he could tell. It irked him that every other man could also tell – they were eyeing you like prey.

He couldn’t blame them though. You were the sexiest woman in this bar, capturing every man’s attention without even trying. Why would you try though? You were so full of love and admiration for yourself, every other pair of eyes was simply a luxury. A preference, not a necessity. Now it was Jinyoung squeezing your hands: “Ready for love, huh? Should we give it another try then?”

“Everybody, let’s take a break. And Jinyoung, you better get your act together!” His manager was pissed, but he couldn’t care less.

He grabbed his phone hastily and sighed in dismay as he noticed that you hadn’t text him back. “Why won’t she answer?”, he mumbled silently. And then you did. He almost dropped his phone from excitement as he saw your name pop up. Heart beating faster he beamed with joy as you agreed to see him.

“I’m gonna make you mine again y/n, just wait and see.”

48 notes · View notes

vad-hander · 2 years

Text

NO NAME

Pairing: Johnny (NCT) x reader x Jinyoung (GOT7)

Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Fluff

Warnings: abuse, depression, toxic friendship, established relationships (?), mentions of self harm, messed up everything (you’ll get it as you read it), cheating, best friends to enemies, lovers to strangers

Words: 9.3k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

“Where you’re going?” Johnny peeked from behind the wall when he probably heard you putting your shoes on.

“Oh, just the flower shop. I thought we could use some at our apartment.” you smiled at him sweetly, getting back to what you were doing. Checking if you had all the cards you needed in your purse, you felt Johnny’s hands snake onto your waist, making you startled. His hands forced you gently to straighten your back, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Want me to go with you?” he whispered next to your ear, pushing with his hand your hair away.

“It’s fine, I’ll be quick.” you smiled at him, grabbing his hands in yours to unwrap him from you.

“You’re very pretty in this dress.” he didn’t let go of you, pecking your neck lightly.

“Thank you.” you swallowed.

“Where’s the shop?” he asked curiously and turned you around in his hands.

“It’s a 20 minute drive, not that far.”

“Okay.” he smiled at you and pressed his lips against yours. “Want to have the dinner out?”

“I thought to go for a walk in the evening.” you said calmly.

“Jun called me I thought we could go hang out today.” his thumb caressed your cheek.

“You can go for the both of us?”

“He said I should bring you too. Everyone misses you, you haven’t been out in forever.”

“I’m not in the mood lately, huh.” you chuckled and both Johnny’s hands moved to your cheeks.

“I feel like you’ve been doing much better.”

“If you’re saying so…” you smirked and looked him in the eyes.

“We’ll go?” he asked hopefully.

“J…” you stuttered and gulped loudly “Baby, you can go if you really want to, I won’t mind. I’ll wait for you here.” you smiled and pressed a kiss in the corner of his lips.

“It looks like your doing even better know, huh?”

“Maybe it’s you.” you smiled and ran your fingers up his chest playfully.

“What’s gotten into you? Maybe we’ll be fine without those flowers? I know something we could do.” he smirked and lowered his hands down to your waist and lower, where you caught them and finally made him let go of you.

“No, I’ll go. I planned this already, look at this floral dress.” you twirled in front of him. “It’s themed.” you smiled at him and felt like you couldn’t wait any longer to get out of here. Johnny laughed at you sweetly and let you go, watching you put your shoes on and leave.

You took a deep breath, feeling like it’s the first time in a year you left the house in the daytime for just a walk. You looked around, watching people pass you by with their dogs on the lead. You began walking, feeling the warmth of the sun heat your shoulders and the top of your head. You wished you had a friend you could call, ask them to meet you and take a walk together, or at least just chat or send a pic of this weather to, but the only contact in your phone that still was reachable was Johnny’s and your moms. You missed texting with Jinyoung, you missed texting Sieun. You could only wonder why she stopped talking to you. This made you feel completely isolated from the world. You couldn’t help but wonder why would Jinyoung not sent even a single message. You just wanted to see his name light up on your screen. Or Sieun’s, she was a real friend, you felt like she was,but it turned out she didn’t think the same way. You just couldn’t work out why’d she disappear at the time you needed her most. The crosswalk you used to pass looked different now, and you had to fish your phone out of your purse to check if you were going in the right direction. Turning the map in the app around with your fingers, you made sure you were going the right way. Raising your head up to cross the road you noticed that there were only 10 seconds left to cross it. Not willing to wait for another green light, you began running, trying to put the phone back at the same time.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” you said quickly, not raising your eyes and finally placing the phone back to its place.

You looked up, finally seeing the designated flower shop in front of you. You walked quicker, opening the door of the shop. The smell of freshness and sweetness made your heart sing. Your eyes set on a big bunch of lisianthus the moment you entered the building.

“Hi! It’s nice seeing you again, I thought you moved somewhere else. You haven’t visited us in like what? A year? We’re you away?” a lady that always worked there greeted you happily. You almost forgot you used to see her every weekend there and would have the loveliest chats when you’d buy flowers for both yours and Jinyoung’s apartments. Jinyoung, the thoughts of him were haunting you all the time. This, and endless plans on how you could avoid Johnny, make him feel like everything’s fine, make sure he believes you two are good.

“Oh, yeah, I… Live was busy and now I finally made time to visit you. You’re the best flower shop, I was really missing it.” you smiled politely.

“Set your eyes on anything?” the lady asked.

“No, want to look around, see what you have.”

“Okay, just call me when you’ll need whatever.” she smiled and you bowed, turning around to walk around the flowers.

Looking around you tried to think what would look good, what would fit in that place. What would make the apartment you grew to hate more likeable to you.

Your eyes raised at the mirror, looking at your own reflection that looked rather pathetic. You wondered how Johnny could even want you. Probably, out of pity, you guessed. Your eyes reflected a deer in the headlights and you wondered when did you start to look so fearful. Your eyes lowered to your hands, realising that your left hand was scratching nervously your right forearm. You made yourself stop, only to work out you scratched subconsciously part of your skin Johnny touched. You could still feel his fingerprints on your cheeks, you could still feel his hands on your hips, how he held you in place, while his hips were slapping against yours. You could still feel his fingers all over you, when you didn’t want him to do it, when you told him not to. You found wet wipes in your bag, wiping your cheeks quickly, trying not to scratch them too harshly to not leave red stains. You could feel the panic attack arise, something, you never suffered from before, but now, was something you gotten used to feel right after your thoughts drifted towards Johnny.

Your eyes shifted to flowers, taking two deep breaths, you walked forward just to take anything.

“Excuse me, I think I made my choice.” you smiled and pointed at the random bunch of flowers. The lady ran to you quickly, helping you with flowers.

“You used to buy the same bunch of flowers often.” she smiled and you moved your eyes to see what you actually picked. Chrysanths - you’d buy them often to place in the big vase in Jinyoung’s bedroom.

You said your goodbyes and took the flowers in the paper wrapping, hiding your face in them to smell.

“Are these for me?” you heard a familiar voice when your free hand opened the door.

“J…Jinyoung?” you whispered breathlessly. Tears prickled your eyes quickly at a single sight of him. He stood there as if it’s been a day since you saw him, not a year.

“Y/n.” he smiled at you widely and you froze.

“H-how?” he stood in front of the shop as if he was waiting for you there. “How’d you know I’ll be here?” you asked confused, finally walking down the steps and standing in front of him, but a couple of steps away on purpose, to not sink into his smell.

“I didn’t.” he smiled constantly, punching air out of your lungs. “You bumped into me at the crossroad and didn’t even notice. I walked behind you to say hi, but you were quick and entered this shop quickly, I thought I’ll wait for you. I… I’ve been trying to see you for a year and then when I gave up you bumped into me on the street.” he sighed amazed. “I just thought maybe you’ll want to see me too, I mean, we… You…” he paused and you listened carefully. You just wanted for him to say he loved you. At least, back in the beginning. You wanted to hear anything that would make you feel better about your being, but he closed his mouth. “I missed you. If you want to, we can get coffee and catch up with our lives.” you blinked slowly, wondering if you began glitching. “Are you okay?” he took a step closer to you. “You seem… tired?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine. I just… I can’t believe… you’re here and…” You began mumbling.

“If you want to, you can give me your new phone number and we’ll meet up another day.” Jinyoung suggested quickly.

“No, no, we can go right now.” you said and he nodded.

“There’s a cafe over there, it’s the closest one.”

“Okay.” you nodded and walked behind him.

Behind Jinyoung, you were walking behind Jinyoung. You felt like you were on the verge of death and now when you were delirious you were seeing things you wanted to see the most. Your fingers held onto the flowers so tightly you probably broke all of them, but you didn’t care. You cared for nothing, you were right next to Jinyoung and the only thing you could focus on was him. Him, and all the strength and power you put in to not touch him.

“I…What did you mean with the new number? My phone number is still the same.” you wanted to add that you’d never change it so he’d be able to text, but you thought it’s better to keep it to yourself for now.

“I texted you every day, called you, none of it ever came through.”

“You did?” you had to look up to not to cry.

“Of course I did, how could I not?” he looked at you and you just knew he was sincere. It became hard to walk at the same pace with him now. “Can I… can I see your phone? I think I know what’s up.” he said and stood at the cross walk, waiting for the red light to turn green.

“Yeah, you can.” you nodded quickly and got your phone in his hand, feeling the tips of his fingers brush against your palm. You shivered and stared at his face that now was staring into your phone. You didn’t need to look in there, whatever he was doing, you trusted him completely.

“I see.” he looked at you and gave the phone back. “You had me blocked.”

“I…I didn’t? Why would I block you?” you asked confused, when the light turned green and the both of you began walking.

Johnny, you thought to yourself. The first bullet was shot.

“You didn’t change at all.” his eyes ran over your face quickly.

“No I did, but you… you’re still the same.” your eyes kept focused on his, trying to not obviously check him out.

“What changed in you?” he smiled and moved in his seat to lean in to you.

“I…I’m probably even more messed up than I used to be…” you said quickly, moving your eyes to your lap. “Jinyoung, I’m too scared to ask, but I just have to.” you looked at him again and he nodded approvingly. “What did I lack that you needed? I don’t hold no grudges, I just want to know for my own piece of mind.”

“What do you mean?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“What…Why’d you do it?”

“Don’t tell me you still believe Johnny. I hope when you blocked me you blocked him too, to start a new life. That’s what you deserve, to not have him in your life is the best I could wish for you.”

“Don’t say that, he actually cares for me and loves me.”

“So you’re with him for real?” he sounded pretentious.

“Why would you think so?” you leaned in to him too.

“One time when I was still looking for you to explain everything, I went to that club Johnny spoke about once, and you were there. You being with him would’ve not surprised me in any way, but you two kissed and I guessed Johnny was right.” he stretched his lips in a thin line.

“What was Johnny right about?” you furrowed your eyebrows feeling your heart begin to ache.

“I came to his place when I had no other options where I could find you, when you didn’t come back to your place for weeks. I said I need to see you and he began his shit about you moving on already, saying you changed your phone number, that you two just had sex. I thought he bluffed because I thought at the time you would not do it… but I might’ve been wrong.” he looked at you and added quickly “No, no, no. I don’t judge you, I… I have no right to. I was just taken aback at the moment. Anyway, I’m happy as long as you’re happy. If Johnny makes you happy, I’m very glad.” he smiled at you like he cared.

“And… are you happy…?”

“I’m fine.” he closed his reassuringly with that reliable smile on his face you missed so much.

“Jinyoung…” you whispered chewing on your lower lip.

“Yeah?” he took a sip from his coffee.

“I wish we could be friends. I’d like to have a friend in you. You’re still very dear to my heart.” you said and took your cup in your hands to take a few sips. You tried to focus on the beverage to not cry from your pity suggestion.

“Yes, we can still be friends.” he didn’t look very pleased to you and you guessed he only agreed out of politeness. You nodded in reply, looking out of the window. The silence that hung between you heavied your shoulders. “I remember you wore this dress when we went out together for the first time. With Johnny and your other friend.”

“Sieun?” you looked at him.

“Yeah, I think so.” He smiled as if he looked through the pictures of that day in his head.

“This is a very funny coincidence.” you said quietly and felt your cheeks turn pink. You couldn’t help but think of the way he handled you in the bathroom of that club. You wished he’d give you a sign he wanted to repeat it all over again in the bathroom of this cafe. Suddenly you wondered if him mentioning this was the sign you were looking for. “I didn’t know I’ll meet you.”

“I know.” he looked at you “Mayb this is something that was meant to be. You wore the dress and bought flowers you always bought for me, maybe the day for us to meet again was written down.”

“Universe planned to get us back in contact I guess.” you chuckled looking at his neck when he looked away. You just wanted to touch him.

“I have to make everything clear though, since we’re going to be friends, I have to make sure you know. Even though we can’t turn back time, we can’t get back together, I need to make sure you know the real truth, okay?” he focused his eyes on you again, but all you could hear was ‘we can’t get back together’. You wanted to ask badly why you can’t, but his eyes were too piercing you had to get back to reality and shake your head yes. “When I said I was preparing for that lecture I said the truth. I really was, but I texted Johnny. I thought of maybe proposing to you, after we moved together, I thought I should get Johnny on friendly terms since I knew he’ll be a big part of your life even if we’ll get married.” you could feel invisible knifes being thrown into your chest one by one. Jinyoung wanted to marry, you couldn’t believe your ears. “I told him we should become friends for you, I said I wanted to propose, he said it’s a great idea and said we’re two closest men in your life, we should respect each other. I agreed, because I just felt like it’s something I needed to do to make you completely happy.” you felt a single tear run down your cheek. You caught it quickly, wiping your cheek while Jinyoung was looking at the waiter. “He texted me the same evening and told me I should come to the club he was at asap. I said I really can’t because I was studying for the lecture, but he said we should celebrate us becoming friends. He literally led me on, but I acted dumb, because I thought I was the one using him while he was drunk. I thought he’ll take me as a bro while drunk and would feel guilty to act differently, but I was wrong. He acted like we were bestest of friends and told me as a bro secret that he’s sleeping with Sieun. I don’t know if he regretted it immediately and made up something so I won’t tell you or planned all of it beforehand, but he asked me to get drinks for the both of us, I agreed, and when I walked away, the girl that he introduced me to literally five minutes ago, dropped herself on me dramatically. She didn’t even look like she stumbled, I guessed she was trying to seduce me and I plainly helped her find balance and let go, but she kept on touching me and hugging me and I had to push her off me, and she suddenly obeyed. I got the drinks and walked back to Johnny who completely forgot about me because he was with Sieun. I placed those bottles on the table they stood next to and left. I didn’t want to interrupt them and didn’t want to stand there like an idiot. I knew he would not let go of her to pay me attention. I would not cheat on you, I wanted for you to be my wife, I didn’t n…” his eyes landed on your face. “Please don’t cry.” he said quickly, holding a tissue for you to grab. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, I’m so sorry.”

“But… he…” you sobbed and weren’t able to form words and sentences. “I let him do it to us. Why would he do it? He always said he loved me, cared for me, said I’m his soulmate and best friend. Why would he try to ruin a perfectly fine relationship? He planted that seed of doubtfulness when you didn’t pick up my call the next morning. He began saying that it’s fine and then he told me that you were at the club, had sex with that girl, he showed me photos and even a video where it looked like you kissed. He said many things, gave me so much evidence. Made me believe I didn’t know you at all. Why? What was the reason?” you asked rhetorically, hiding your face in your palms in shame. “And when I came to your place… that last time I saw you. The girl I texted that proved she slept with you that night, I asked her if she saw you recently, she said yes like 20 minutes ago, and I asked her if you ate together and she said yes. And you had a bag of take out. This all was so perfectly fit. He just told me things and then my brain ruined the rest. I’m so sorry, I’m really sorry. I will never forgive myself. I… I don’t understand. Why would Johnny do all of it? Why would he block your phone number, don’t let you see me, he isolated me completely from the world, from you.” you blinked often to wipe away the tears. “If he hated me so much, he should’ve just stopped being friends with me.”

“No, Y/n, why are you still not getting it? The problem is not that he hates you. It’s the opposite. He loves you and doesn’t want to share you with anyone. He did it to get you back completely to himself I guess. Didn’t you tell before he scared away everyone that liked you? He’s just too scared to lose you.”

“But… wait, hold on. What do you mean he slept with Sieun?”

“He said he dated her but didn’t want to tell you since you’d either hate it or would tell him you told him so.”

“And when did they broke up…?”

“I don’t know that, it’s not like I kept in contact with him after we broke up.” he smiled at you.

“Yes, you’re right, I’m sorry.” you shook your head. “I’m sorry, I think I need to go.” you stood up and felt dizzy.

“I can drive you, just tell me where to.”

“No, it’s fine. Was glad to see you.” you smiled and took a couple of steps, feeling everything around you spin. You stopped taking a break to wait till you feel any better. Nausea and lightheadedness made it hard for you to see anything in front of you.

“Y/n, you forgot flowers.” you could hear Jinyoungs voice behind you, turning around to see him and realising you could not see him properly. You felt your body get so heavy you felt like falling.

“You scared me.” you opened your eyes slowly, trying to work out where you were.

“What happened?” you moved in your seat, finally being able to see you were in the same cafe. Jinyoung squatted in front of you with a water bottle in his hands.

“You fainted when you were walking away. Thankfully I was right behind you because you forgot your flowers. I barely caught you in time or you would’ve hit your head on the floor.” he looked at you.

“I’m sorry… and thank you. It’s probably the heat and lack of sleep and all the stress.” you blabbered quickly. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. I hope your sides don’t hurt, I grabbed you in panic very quickly, I might’ve hurt you.”

“It’s fine.” you smiled.

“Take a few sips of water.” he handed you the battle and you drank from it quickly. “Should I take you to hospital?” he asked concerned.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go home.” you tried to stand up, but Jinyoung didn’t move away, resting his forearms against the seat he sat you on.

“I’ll insist on driving you since you just passed out in front of me.”

“Okay.” you nodded and he moved away, standing up.

“Can you walk? You can lean onto me if you need to.”

“I’m fine, Jinyoung.”

“Okay.” he nodded and walked in front of you with his eyes completely focused on you.

“Promise you’ll go see a doctor?” he asked when the both of you sat in his car.

“Promise.” you nodded, watching him start the engine.

“You said you’ll be quick but you were away for like two hours.” he pouted looking at you from the couch. “What flowers did you get?” he asked curiously and extended his arm towards you. You walked closer to him, giving him the flowers. His hand caught yours, pulling you in over the back of the couch to plant a kiss on your cheek. “You’re still prettier than those flowers.” he whispered having his lips against your cheek. “Come here.” he pulled onto your hand to guide you over the couch and onto his lap. His hands immediately landed on your waist, making the dress you wore reveal your underwear. You held your fingers in fists to prevent yourself from snapping at him.

“What you want?” you whispered into his ear and moved your hips slowly against his.

“You.” he began whispering too.

“How badly?” you asked and pulled the strap of your dress down.

“Pretty bad.”

“But I need to know in more details.”

“I don’t know what detail to give you, I just want you.” he sighed heavily when your fingers ran over his abdomen multiple times.

“Will you eat me out?” you asked curiously, bending your head to the side a little.

“Fuck, baby, yes.” his fingers lowered onto your thighs.

“Lower your body then.” you said carelessly, standing on your knees above him. His body slid down the couch, making his face be on the same level as your centre. Your fingers grabbed onto his hair harshly, pulling his head closer to you. You could feel his breathing over your pubic bone, hating yourself for starting all this. This wasn’t really a great way to take any revenge on him.

Johnnys hands startled you when they landed on your butt, hooking thumbs over the underwear you wore and pulling it down. Your hand threw his head back and you noticed his confused and slightly mad stare. The both of you froze, staring at each other. You broke off the silence and slapped him the next second.

“Did I tell you you can undress me? Did I tell you to make me cum?” he stared at you not understanding for a few seconds, only smirking at you when he probably thought he worked out what was going on. “Reply before I slap you once again.”

“No, you didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“Good boy.” you caressed his cheek carefully. “You know, I thought of little something we could do.”

“Yeah?”

“Remember how you wanted to fuck Sieun?” his face changed for a slight second, putting his guard back up to not give away whatever he actually thought or felt. You slapped him once again. “You have to reply.”

“Yeah, yeah, I do.”

“I think we should call her over.”

“Why?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“For a little game. You, me and her. Have you ever had a threesome? Threesome with me anyway is going to be better than anything you experienced in your life.” your hand lowered over to his dick, stroking it over the jeans.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d just do it so freely and willingly with me.” he took a deep breath in.

“You know what I could do? I could suck you off, while you’re doing whatever the fuck you want to with Sieun. You want that?”

“No, not really, I want you only, we don’t need her.” his breathe hitched and he spoke with unnecessary pausing.

“Why though?” you pouted and felt Johnnys hand lay over yours, forcing you to squeeze his dick more.

“I want you all to myself, your mouth on me only. Focused on me, not anything else.”

“That’s very selfish of you, baby.” you shook your head disapprovingly, sticking your tongue out to draw a line with it over his pulse point. “Want to feel it over your cock?” you asked, moving back a little.

“Yeah.” he nodded.

“You have to share to do so.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t have me all to yourself. You shouldn’t be this greedy. You have to share.”

“With Sieun?”

“Not only.”

“Who else?” he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“Jinyoung.” you said carelessly but watched him closely.

“Him again?”

“It’s a deal I already signed for us. I’ll have sex with him for you to watch, he’ll then do whatever you want to to you. I’ll play with Sieun a little, we could switch and take turns however we want it. You’ll finally be able to do all the things you wanted to do to me.”

“Y/n, I’m not sure the people you chose for this are right.”

“Why? My ex boyfriend and your…” you paused but this time he kept himself collected “desire to fuck Sieun.”

“I don’t want to fuck with Jinyoung, what the fuck.”

“I thought you loved me.” you pressed your body against his. “I thought you’d do something for me since I never asked you for anything in those pasts months. I thought you wanted to eat this pussy right? Jinyoung could show you how to do me right. He did it for like 400 times.”

“I don’t need any fucking advice from this slug.”

“For a slug he really is good with his cock and tongue. And I, as a slut, am really good with my tongue too. If you’ll do what I want you to do, I’ll let you find out. You always wanted Sieun, why’d you protest now when I literally give you permission. Do you want to die without finding out what it’s like to fuck her? We could do all types of things just to stay afterwards together and take it to another level.”

“I want you only.” he said stubbornly once again.

“Did you fuck Sieun before?” you looked at him suspiciously.

“I didn’t, I just don’t want any of it anymore, I love you.”

“You’re. A fucking. Liar. Johnny. I hate you.” your hands moved over to his neck, trying your best to choke him knowing damn well you won’t be able to cause any harm to him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Johnny’s hands were obviously stronger, twisting yours quickly and making you cry in pain. “What happened?”

“When did you began dating Sieun? When did you broke up? I have to fucking know. I have to know about all the lies you told me.” he was still holding on to your hands making it hurt.

“Did that bitch tell you?”

“Let go of me! You’re going to leave bruises!” You exclaimed in pain.

“Was that her? I’ll fucking snap her neck, the fucking whore was supposed.”

“It’s not her who told me, but she confirmed you being a fucking prick. You lied to me all the fucking time. And you thought I’ll fuck you? You fucking wish! You don’t fucking love me, you don’t know what love is. You’re heartless and disgusting. Let go of me!”

“You, your selfish little ass. You never opened your eyes wide enough to see anything. You care only for what you need. If I never lied to you, I would’ve became uninteresting to you about 10 years ago. I did this for you, I did all of this for us.”

“Let go! There’s no us. I know everything, I know that you lied to me about Jinyoung. You ruined my life. This year just was a fucking waste. I hate living here, I hated being touched by you but I kept it all in because I wanted to keep you happy. I was hoping I’ll finally get over Jinyoung and will feel anything towards you. Guess I shouldn’t have even tried. You anyway had a girlfriend until two months ago. Yes, I called her, accidentally, just an hour ago. I just wanted to hear the voice of the bitch that lied to me about Jinyoung and ask her why she did it, but Sieun picked up the phone. She said you told her to text me as if she was someone else who slept with Jinyoung from her other phone number I didn’t know. She told me she only did it because you told her all the bullshit you can about dating and loving each other and doing things for one another. The thought of dating the Johnny Suh that never stayed the night was way too tempting and she told you yes. She betrayed me because of you.” your eyes ran furiously over the whole room. “You acted like a terrible person Johnny, you dated her when your hands held me in your sleep every night. You broke up with her when you had sex with me for the first time, right? Thought you’re going to get it from me now so you dumped her? Is that what you did?” you chuckled.

“Is it that funny to you?”

“Barely, but it just really makes me wonder if I ever even knew you for real.” you breathed heavily staring at him, when he didn’t reply, you walked past him, getting furiously under the duvet of your bed to think everything through. Moving, you had to move away from here now. You had to learn to live a life without Johnny being there. There was so much you could forgive but this.

Your phone laid next to you and you grabbed it to look at Jinyoung’s phone number. You felt the urge to call him and tell him, you wanted to ask for help, hope he’d give you wise advice like he always did. You had nowhere to go, Johnny told you to not pay the rent for your place anymore, and you completely moved in with him 6 months ago, you knew for sure whatever connection you two had it all was gone for good now. You hated to go to Jinyoung and ask him anything. You just opened your phone, googled the first hotel that seemed comfortable enough and didn’t cost too much and booked a room. For a week, it’s not like you could get a flat any quicker.

You laid your phone next to you, just taking a moment to think that there was so much you needed to do and there is so much that happened already.

“Don’t come near me.” you said roughly when you heard Johnny enter the room.

“It’s unfair.”

“What?” you turned to look at him annoyed.

“Unfair that you only look at things from your point of view. Don’t you care what I think?”

“No.” you simply replied.

“I know you too well.” he dropped his body on the bed and you stiffened, ready to punch him if he’ll touch you. “You really want to know.”

“I don’t, you can leave the room so I’ll pack my things in peace.”

“Pack your things? Where will you go?”

“It shouldn’t matter to you.”

“Okay…” he sighed. “Still, when we were 14 and people teased us a lot that we dated in secret, you said you’d rather die than do so. Later that year I asked you if you really meant it, and you said yes. You said it’s not something you could imagine yourself doing, so I killed every single thought in my head to ask you out. I was fine because you were with me all the time, you loved me, even though you didn’t realise. You were my love and girlfriend even though you didn’t think so yourself, I was okay with you not willing to kiss me or anything else, because I was still able to hold your hand at the end of the day. Then you liked that stupid guy that was two years older than us. I was furious, you wanted to be with him, not me. He was the one who took you away from me, so I had to take you back from him. I was the reason behind it.” you turned around quickly, looking at Johnny in disbelief.

“No you didn’t.”

“I did, I broke you off with every guy you had because they’re not someone you should be with. I’m the one, I love you like no one ever will. I’ll do anything for you.”

“You’re insane.”

“I love you, I Iove you, it’s the only reason I do all of it. I do it to keep you happy and to keep you with me. I’ll do anything to be with you. Please, I need this last chance to be better for you.” his hand reached your shoulder and you jumped up like you were stung by a bee.

“No, don’t.”

“I’m sorry, please, listen to me just this once.”

“I’m not giving you this chance or any other. It’s pretty sick what you did and I just can’t… it’s better we just stop everything here.” you tried to keep distance from him but he caved you between his arms and held you there.

“I had to keep my feelings hostage. I had to listen to all these guys talk about you when I knew I’ll never get to experience any of it myself. I was just going insane because I knew you won’t like me.”

“Johnny, no, there were other ways. You chose to turn this into something sick. You could’ve just told me. You could’ve done it many years ago, not when I loved someone and you broke it off by breaking my heart. I would’ve never minded it if you told me this at any point of our lives. Of course I said I’d rather die than date you, what was I supposed to say to a girl that liked you? She was the first one who started my torturous life of a girl that was friends with a guy every other girl wanted. You’re trying to blame me, but there’s no one to blame, or at least think for yourself, you chose to do it this way. The only thing I’m to blame for is this year, I’m sorry I suggested being together. I’m sorry I acted like I was okay. I should’ve just said it.”

“Y/n, don’t leave. I can see, you love me, if you didn’t, you would’ve not said all of it, please.”

“Johnny, you dated Sieun. Behind my back, while we promised to stay faithful to each other. Everything is very crooked. It’s basically fucked.”

“I know, I fucked up here, but I really needed someone to fuck. I didn’t want to force you, I thought about you even here, I found someone to wait and when you were ready I just got rid of her.”

“No, Johnny, what the hell?” You felt like crying. “It’s not something you did for me, it’s something you did for your own sake and pleasure. Stop turning everything around to make it seem like everything you do is for me!”

“But it is!” he shouted.

“It’s not, I need to go.”

“Jinyoung told you, right? How did he contact you?”

“He didn’t.”

“How else would you find out about all of it. If it’s not him, not her?”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“You’re leaving me for him?”

“No. I’m leaving you to be by myself. To finally be able to breathe, to finally be able to sleep.” you stood up from the bed, walking around it to get to the wardrobe.

“I can’t let you leave though.”

“Huh?” you turned around to see him not move. He was still sitting with his back to you, breathing steadily.

“I won’t… I don’t agree. I…”

“You what? I’m not the puppy you can keep hostage.” you chuckled and looked through the clothes.

“Give me your phone.” you heard behind your ear, turning around quickly. “Where is it?”

“No, never.” you furrowed your eyebrows and pushed him with your arms from you. He didn’t move a centimetre.

“I’ll have to take it from you with force.”

“Yeah, sure.” you chuckled and stopped the next second Johnnys hand grabbed your neck, pushing you to stand against the wall. His fingers were holding you tightly, making it impossible for your head to turn. “What you’re doing, let me go!”

“Where’s your phone?” he repeated his question again.

You felt humiliated, you couldn’t believe the person you trusted the most through your entire life held you by the neck, giving you terrible pain.

“Keeping your mouth shut? Still?” he chuckled and his other hand roamed over your body. You felt his palm run over your thighs and stomach, going back to your underwear and rubbed you multiple times through it, before running his hands over your chest and sides. You were swallowing tears, looking for a better moment to hit him in his solar plexus with your elbow. “Is it on the bed? I don’t seem to see it with you. Or should I touch you all over again?”

“Try it.” you spat and felt his fingers flex over your neck, pulling you harshly from the wall over to the bed.

“I’ll try something better than this. Something much more entertaining.” he chuckled and bent you over it, forcing your butt to stick out. Cold sweats dropped from your forehead mixing in with your tears.

“Johnny, don’t, don’t do it. Please, I beg you. We can still turn back time and try again. This once.”

“Didn’t you say you’re not giving me no chances?”

“I just thought you really love me, I should.” you cried feeling his fingers pull your dress up. “Johnny, please.”

“Think I could make you wet?”

“Johnny, please.” you cried out loud, feeling your body shake. There was no way you could get from under him, but you still tried. You tried to hit him with your legs and arms, but the more you moved, the more weight he put onto your neck, making it impossible to breathe. You stopped and froze when you heard and felt him rip your underwear. You wished you were dead. Right at this moment you realised you wished you never were born. You couldn’t breathe because you were listening carefully. Your eyes weren’t able to see anything through the tears. You wished you could’ve rewind the time so you’d just come home and act sweetly, so you’d be able to run away from him at night. How were you supposed to know Johnny will turn into this monster.

You heard him spit and you felt him getting two of his fingers inside of you. You thought you lost consciousness because everything went blurry, you couldn’t see or hear anything except your tears. Johnny was raping you. You felt his spit on your entrance and felt him get inside of you. It hurt, and not it only hurt you morally, it hurt you physically, lack of lube made the thrusts and the friction he created crazily painful. You thought like he could feel it too, maybe he’d want to stop. He wasn’t a rapist, he was a boy you grew up with and loved dearly. You snapped back to reality when you felt his fingers choke you harder. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” he grunted soon enough and pulled out, making you shiver at the feeling of his seed on your back. His hands let go of you and he dropped his body next to yours. You turned your head slightly to be able to breathe, closing your eyes in deep shame. You tried to not cry, you tried to not throw up and more importantly you tried your best to not cill him. You were dying to jump up and crack a vase over his head. “I’m sorry, this, was very much needed.” he moved closer to you, and tried to touch your face softly. Your hands slapped him, hit him and he reacted immediately, grabbing your hands with his. You could feel bruises grow on your wrists, still trying to give him any sort of pain. “Stop this.” he said seriously, pinning you down to the bed. You still tried hit him with your legs, feeling his knees push your legs down and bringing you even more pain. “Stop all of it, go wash and come to bed.” you stared at him not moving, nodding your head quickly. He let go of you and watched you closely. You stood up, pulling your dress down and grabbing your phone from behind the pillow so he wouldn’t notice. Getting to the wardrobe you tried to pick an outfit so you’ll have multiple layers of clothes. Taking everything to shower with you, you locked the door, calling an Uber. Your eyes ran over the room for a sharp object, but you could not find any, jumping into warm water and quickly getting out of it. Putting on all of it you tried to not look in the mirror, you knew you looked like someone who was raped just a minute ago. You gulped throwing the thoughts of calling Jinyoung in the farthest corner of your brain. It was not the time to involve him in this. You sighed and opened the door, not seeing Johnny in the room. You were quick-witted enough to put on the shoes that you had in the room, instead of putting something on at the exit. You went back to bathroom, turning the water back on and closing the door. Your eyes ran over the room, grabbing your backpack while you had the chance and quickly putting everything that gotten in your way there.

Your fingers held onto the handle of the door, opening it slowly. You couldn’t see Johnny and it scared you more than you thought it would. He probably was in the kitchen. You got out of the room, moving your body against the wall so you won’t get into his sight even if he turns around. Your heart was beating in your ears, two steps away from the door, you could feel yourself failing. Your fingers were finally able to reach the door handle and you grabbed it, opening it in one swift motion. It probably made too much sound but you were close to running away from him and you couldn’t care anymore. You closed the door, turning around at the moment you did so, seeing Johnny’s confused eyes on you. He took a step towards you and you shut the door, running down the stairs. Feeling dizzy counting every step to now fall down. You ran out of the building, seeing the Uber that was waiting for you.

“Please, quickly. I need you to go quickly.” you shouted and the driver did as you wished, moving away the second you shut the door. Your eyes looked at the entrance of Johnny’s house, only seeing him run out when the car was driving away. It probably looked like a passing by Uber to him. You sighed and closed your eyes but still felt your hands shake.

“Are you safe?” the driver asked and you raised your eyes, meeting his.

“Yeah, yeah.” you smiled at him. “Just met some difficulties. I hope I’ll be better from now on. Thank you for asking.” he nodded at you and focused his eyes back on the road.

Checking into hotel you quickly got to your floor, finding the room and locking the door with every lock there was. You dropped the backpack on the floor, walking to the window and closing it with the blackout curtains. The room became pitch black and you liked it this way. You crawled over to the bed, taking off your clothes at the same time. Your fingers snaked your phone out of your pocket, turning it off just to keep yourself from Johnny. You hid your body under the softest duvet and closed your eyes to calm down. It was 5 pm and you fell asleep unconsciously, waking up only the next day.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” you whispered and sat up on the bed, leaning to Jinyoung. “I was too afraid to call you myself.”

“It’s all good, I’m here, that’s all that matters.” you watched him move his face closer to yours, you held your breathe, wondering if he wanted to kiss you. If he wanted you too.

“I still love you. Do you love me too?”

“I do.” he whispered into your lips, holding you in place with his hand.

“Good to know.” you inhaled and felt him crush his lips against yours.

Jinyoung pushed you to lay back down with his hands, caressing your neck with his thumb. His other hand crawled over your stomach to your back, unclasping your bra. You tried to stroke him, lowering your hand to his zipper and moving it up and down. Your other caressed his waist, but no matter what you did you couldn’t feel him harden under your touch. You moved your hand from his crotch onto his side, thrusting your hips slowly against his. Moving your hand back to him you weren’t understanding.

“Jinyoung, what’s wrong?“ your hands held his head, trying to see his eyes. He didn’t let you, dropping his head onto your shoulder. “I… You don’t want me? That’s fine.” you ran your fingers through his hair, feeling how his body weight made it heavy for you to breathe.

“No, it’s different.”

“What is it? You can tell me.” he raised his head, looking at you, and you caressed his cheek reassuringly.

“My friend… he…” you watched his face expression trying to understand what he was saying.

“Your friend what…?” you asked confused not even knowing what to think of it.

“He’s…He’s here, he waits for me.”

“Okay…You have to go?”

“No, he’s going to come here.”

“Why?”

“You’ll find out soon.” he moved from you, sitting up.

“What?” you asked confused.

“Johnny.” Jinyoung said loudly and the door opened. Your eyes ran from the guy that entered the room to the one that sat right next to you.

“Jinyoung?”

“I’m sorry, he should take you home.”

“Jinyoung, please, don’t let him. He’s going to hurt me.” you cried and held onto his hand.

“Please let go of me and leave with Johnny.”

“Jinyoung, please.” you couldn’t see because of tears but you felt Johnny’s strong grip on your hand, pulling you to stand up. You screamed loudly, definitely drawing attention, but no one tried to help. Jinyoung stared at you while Johnny was trying to take you with him, breaking your arms while you tried to free yourself from him.

You shut your mouth, feeling his teeth over your ear.

“Come on angel, stop crying, we’re going to live a happy life together.”

You jumped up from the bed, feeling cold tears on your eyes. Scanning the room, there obviously wasn’t any Jinyoung, nor Johnny. You stood up and opened the curtains. It seemed to be a new day. Dropping you body back on the bed, you turned on the TV, skipping through every channel there was. You felt hungry and grabbed the room service menu, picking the food of your choice. The nightmare you just had made you nervous and scared, you asked the staff of the hotel to just knock and leave the food under your door, you were scared if Johnny knew already where you were. Your eyes landed on your phone, that was laying lifelessly on the bed side table. You turned it on, staring at the logo while it was loading. A knock on the door made you startled, slowing your heart after you heard a ladies voice saying ‘Room Service’. You ran up to the door listening to her steps getting further away. You opened the door slightly, taking the cart inside of your room and locking the door once again. Fear was all you could feel, but hunger was about to fight with it. You sat back down on bed, staring at the TV, where one of the Sponge Bob episodes began. Your phone vibrated, probably loading all the notifications you received from yesterday and you grabbed it, scrolling through. Skipping a couple of mindless Instagram and Twitter notifications, you scrolled to what you were expecting to see. Johnny’s texts and missed calls.

From: Johnny

“come home, don’t be a fool, it’s cold outside.”

“why did you ran away?”

“Y/n, seriously, it’s 11, come back home.”

“are you sleeping on the street?”

“of course not, that’s foolish of me. you’re with Jinyoung, should I come to his place and take you from him?”

“reply to me.”

“fuck you. don’t even imagine coming back to my place and taking your things, you get me?”

“no way you’re coming back to me after sleeping with him.”

“what you’re going to do without your passport and ID anyway?”

“huh, so you took it? I can’t find it.”

“okay, good for you. you’ll definitely need it.”

You read through his messages and felt like you could feel his hands on you again. You closed your eyes and almost had a heart attack when your phone called, you opened your eyes immediately only to breathe out relaxed. Jinyoung’s name lit up your screen.

“Yeah?” you said weakly, clearing your throat afterwards.

“Oh, hi. I didn’t know you’d pick up so quickly. My messages weren’t delivered again and I thought I’d call to see if you blocked me again.”

“No, no. I didn’t block you in the first place.”

“I know, I know… I just realised, that I told you all those things and then dropped you off at Johnny’s, you probably had a conversation… I was just worried to be honest. This was definitely not one of my brightest ideas.” he went quiet and you did too. “You’re here?” he asked with his softest tone when you didn’t reply.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry. We did have a conversation, but I’m completely fine.” you smiled and wondered if he could sense the fakeness in the tone of your voice. “I turned my phone off when I went to sleep, I just woke up, I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“I’m just glad you’re fine. I thought… it’s Sunday, do you want to hang out…? I thought we could eat together. We didn’t get to talk about our lives properly yesterday. I can pick you from Johnnys…” he paused.

“It’s a great idea, it’s just… I’m not at Johnny’s.”

“You’re not? Where are you?”

“I’m…”

“I can pick you up wherever you want to.”

“Maybe next weekend?” you wanted to see him the most, you were dying to see him once again, take a better look at his face and maybe touch his fingers, but you were too scared he’d see Johnny’s fingerprints on your neck. You were afraid he’d notice bruises on your wrists, you were scared to make him upset, you were scared he’d want to do anything about it.

“I… I really hoped to see you today.”

“Yeah…?”

“Yeah, I just thought a lunch would be nice.” his voice sounded low, he cleared his throat and you could hear him gulp through the phone.

“I just had a nightmare where you dragged me to Johnny, and now you’re insisting on seeing me as if the dream was true.”

“Oh.” he gasped.

“I’m joking, I don’t think you’re going to drag me to Johnny. You’re the only person in this city I still can trust.” you said it only realising how sad your life is afterwards.

“Anyway… I’m glad you’re well, just let me know, if you’ll want to see me. Any time.”

“Yeah, sure.” You said enthusiastically, finally paying attention to food you ordered.

“I guess, see you, then?” he said it as if he didn’t want to hang up.

“Yeah.” you said once again. “See you.”

“Bye.” he sighed and you could hear the silence that surrounded him. You nibbled onto your lower lip debating.

“Jinyoung?” you said when it felt like he already hung up.

“Yeah?” his voice sounded hopeful.

“If you really want to just hang out today, you can come over to where I’m staying… we could eat together.”

“Okay, yeah. That’s cool.”

“Cool, I’ll send you the address, deal?”

“Yeah, what time should I come?”

“Doesn’t matter, whenever you want to.”

“Okay, I’ll come soon then.”

“Okay.” you nodded as if he was able to see you.

“Wait, what you want to eat?”

“Hm… anything will do. Just something yummy. I trust your taste.”

“Okay, see you.”

“Bye bye.” you smiled to yourself.

89 notes · View notes

3raaaachachacha · 2 years

Text

1:01 am

Im Jaebeom x female reader / 503 words / angst / fluff

Warnings: cursing, miscommunication, mentions of anxiety

66. “I’m never leaving…I promise.”

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

It was late, but you were hoping your boyfriend would return home soon. He had moved companies to finally create the music he wanted without being constantly criticized for his unique taste. It was one of the happiest you had ever seen Jaebeom, even though he would be parting from the boys for a bit to create music alone, he knew it would be worth it and you would be there to support him until they returned.

You opened Twitter to see a shocking headline, ‘GOT7’s JB seen at the airport to move to the US after signing with Universal Records’. You felt your body begin to shake with anxiety. It had been a few days since you last saw Jaebeom since he was at the company making music, but you never once thought he would leave for the States without telling you? You jumped up from your shared bed, grabbing your jacket and purse and running out the door. You looked like a mess yet you could care less. You knew he had signed with Universal Records after leaving JYP, but moving to another continent? He wouldn’t, not without telling you.

You tried calling him over and over again, only to be met by his answering tone each time, “What the fuck is going on JB?” You quickly made your way into this company building, scanning your pass before moving towards the elevator to find which room he was in, hoping to god he actually wasn’t at the airport.

“Jaebeom! JB! Where are you?” You cried, feeling the hot tears rolling down your pink cheeks, “Baby, where are you? Please tell me you didn’t actually leave,” You continued to sob as you fell to the ground in the hallway.

You heard a door open before a pair of hands were placed on your back and then wrapped around you, “Y/N? Y/N, what are you doing here? It’s so late. Are you okay? Why are you crying baby?” You lifted your head to see your boyfriend staring down at you with panic in his eyes as he examined your face to make sure you weren’t hurt.

You threw yourself into his chest, tightly holding onto him as if he was to leave and never come back, “Please don’t leave! I saw the headline of you leaving to the States and you didn’t answer my calls.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” He hugged you even tighter, wanting to show you how sorry he was, “That was a rumor the media outlets made up since I was at the airport recently to get a new passport for when we go and visit Mark next. I wouldn’t just leave like that, especially without telling you,” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as you sniffled up at him.

“Please never leave me. I’ve never been so scared in my life,” You tried your best not to cry anymore.

Jaebeom smiled down at you before placing a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I’m never leaving…I promise.”

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

- Admin 🦋

62 notes · View notes

dontbekoifish · 2 years

Text

The Sky Prince (1/3)

Pairing: Duffi!Jaebeom x f!reader (future chapters), slight Muska!Jinyoung x f!reader

Genre: Angst, some fluff

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, death, violence, mentions of murder, injuries, toxic relationships (chapter specific)

Word count: 3684 (chapter specific)

Summary: Maybe Jinyoung was a little mean to you, but you think it gives him personality. You kind of like it. But he leaves you all alone. Until one fateful day, where your whole life turns upside down.

Movie: Castle in the Sky

Fandom: GOT7

This was written for the 2021 Ghibli Collab by @toikiii. It’s a long time overdue, so I’m sorry about that. But this will be finished by October, in a three-parter. I hope you enjoy the first part. :)

Jinyoung insisted he’s some sort of prince. You would’ve found it annoying if it was any other kid in the village, but you didn’t mind it from him. He had dreams and aspirations, and who were you to judge him? You would sit with him under the big oak tree in the orphanage’s yard and listen to his stories and tales. The other kids would call you both weird, but you didn’t mind. It wasn’t like they were any more mature.

As the oldest two of the orphans, Jinyoung being only a few months older than you, you and he often had a lot more free time. Honestly, you didn’t know why you both had to stay. Well, kind of. You weren’t able to leave until someone offered to marry you, as you were a young woman with no family. Such was how the village worked. But Jinyoung, you didn’t know what was stopping him.

Deep inside you wished he was waiting until he was old enough to marry at twenty and then he would engage you, but you know it wasn’t that. He didn’t really like you. He only put up with you because you believed his tall tales. You could see it in his eyes. When you two were stuck doing chores any other day, he would look at you with such animosity. But when you sat at the tree, he smiled at you.

That was why you would listen. Any sort of appreciation he looked at you with, you relished. Even if it was only thankfulness at your willingness to hear his stories.

But one day, when you were waiting at the tree, Jinyoung was slow. A lot slower than usual. Usually, he was right behind you, eager to tell tales.

“Jinyoungie,” you called out, watching his head lift, “why so slow today?” You ran back down the hill to meet him halfway.

Jinyoung looked at you, eyes dead, and your brows furrowed. “(Y/N).”

“Jinyoungie? What’s wrong?” You reached out, hands fisting in his cotton shirt sleeve. “Why do you look so mad?”

“I have a family.” What? “I have family,” Jinyoung repeated as if he read the look on your face.

Your lips pulled down into a frown, feeling a burn behind your eyeballs. You don’t want to cry, but you might. Having family means he would leave, and you’d be stuck here by yourself. “But I don’t want you to go,” you whined, the words coming out more choked than you’d like.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Well, I have a family. I want to find them. They’re the key to reclaiming my position as prince. You remember, you have to. All those things I told you. And the gift, remember it?”

You nodded, letting go of him and shoving your hand in your pocket and bringing out the book he gave you. It was an odd show of affection, but it had been your fourteenth birthday and Jinyoung had found you crying in the closet because the other kids had pulled your hair and called you names. It was filled with drawings and notes upon drawings and notes of these bodies Jinyoung called robots. It was a little weird but you still loved it.

“Well, it’s important. And you gotta keep it safe.” Jinyoung assured you, and you nodded again. “Look, I’m being serious.” He had such a look of determination on his face for an eighteen-year-old, you suddenly felt small in comparison.

You sighed heavily. There would be no stopping him. Jinyoung took your silence as assent and he turned around to leave. “Wait, Jinyoung,” you said again, and Jinyoung turned back. “You know, I like you a lot.”

Jinyoung smiled slightly, a rare occurrence. “I know.” His hand lifted and planted itself on the top of your hair. “Thanks for listening to me.” He leaned in and your breath hitched as his full lips planted itself on your cheek.

You couldn’t move, not even when Jinyoung pulled back and offered you a wide grin before heading back down the hill. You stayed up on the hill ‘til evening when the mistress of the orphanage called for you, and when you headed to bed without even having dinner, the other kids laughed at you. But you didn’t care.

He kissed you. Even if it was just on the cheek, and you’re probably never going to see him again, he kissed you. He likes you back. Maybe he’ll come back and marry you when the time comes. You clutched the little book close as you fell asleep. Jinyoung will return, you could feel it. You knew it.

And he did return, just not in the way you expected.

You had just turned twenty-one and from in the closet of where you hid, you could hear shouts and cries. This was not how you had wanted your birthday to go. When the morning of had come you were waiting anxiously in the early morning at the gates of the orphanage as you had done for the past two years on your birthday, hoping Jinyoung would come.

But strange men in suits had come instead, telling you to go fetch the mistress, and you had gone to her. You had thought maybe they had come to get one of the boys, so you waited inside for them to leave so that you could come to the gates again. They talked with the mistress and it seemed they had reached a conclusion, so you thought they might leave. But they didn’t leave.

They pulled out a gun and shot the mistress right in the face.

The kids watching at the door and outside screamed, but you couldn’t go out and save them. You didn’t have time before more men swarmed the courtyard, grabbing the kids and shoving them down before pulling out their guns. You couldn’t look.

The kids inside were still here and you needed to help them. The mistress would be angry if you didn’t.

You shoved the children inside closets, under cupboards, in wardrobes, anywhere they would fit. Only then when they were all hidden and you could see the big oak door entrance start to shake violently did you run.

You found yourself in the boy’s side of the orphanage, in Jinyoung’s old room. What a sick irony. But you had no time to wait, the clamor was getting closer. You shoved your way inside his wardrobe, thick shirts from the kids who replaced him over and over getting in your way. But it was dark and it felt safer than under the bed.

It wasn’t safe enough, though. The closet door opened and you were yanked out so hard you thought your bone might pop out of your shoulder. The men had found you.

“We found another one!” One of the three men in the room poked his head out the door and called to someone. “It might be the one you’re looking for, sir! She looks like it!”

You struggled, but it’s no use. The men are too strong and one of them backhanded you, the gun he held slamming into your jaw. You cried out from the sharp pain, but they just hit you again. “Shut up,” the man gripping you hissed, “you’re only making this harder on yourself, little girl.”

You clenched your eyes shut, waiting, waiting for pain or death, when footsteps entered the room and a familiar voice was heard. “(Y/N).”

Your eyes flitted open. “Jinyoung?” you ask in a hoarse, broken voice. “What– what are you doing here?”

Jinyoung, now twenty-one, smiles at you but there is nothing positive in his eyes. Just cold, hard, greed. “(Y/N),” he repeats, “you’ve grown up well. Happy birthday.”

Your eyes welled up, unsure whether to be happy he remembered or disgusted he did this. This was not the determined eighteen-year-old boy you knew all those years ago. “Jinyoung?” you repeated again, voice cracking. Jinyoung smiled a little wider, taking a step closer. “Why are you here?”

“(Y/N),” he tsked, “don’t be so sad. This orphanage never did anyone any good. They keep you here to be married off, and when they don’t get you married off, they keep you for free labor. Tell me, how long have you been here? Six years? More? So why haven’t you left? You had all the chances you could.”

You didn’t even know how to respond, only weakly saying his name once more. Jinyoung rolled his eyes and sneered. “Stop calling me like a child who just learnt their parents’ names. Look, I’ll just cut to the chase. Give me the notebook.”

You blinked up at him. “Notebook?” Jinyoung hissed through his teeth, stepping closer and grabbing your jaw with his hand. He wrenches your chin up and you can feel your neck strain as you’re forced to meet his eyes.

“The damn notebook, (Y/N). God, you’re so fucking stupid. The notebook. I entrusted. To you.” Your eyes shook looking up at Jinyoung. He was unhinged, so, so angry, and you hated him.

“It’s in my room,” you croaked out, and Jinyoung slipped into an easygoing smile with a bat of an eye.

“Good girl,” he crooned, and you felt sick. “Now, take us to it and I’ll let you go.”

You stood shakily, legs weak. How did this happen? You wanted to cry but you were so damn scared. When you stepped out in the hallway, you almost collapsed again. Bodies of the employees and the children here littered the hallway and it was only the grip of one of the men that kept you upright.

Jinyoung tsked again, hand moving to your shoulder where he dug his fingers in uncomfortably. “Stand up straight, (Y/N). Hasn’t the orphanage taught you anything? I could just kill you right now and find the notebook myself.”

You couldn’t respond, eyes trained on the wall in front of you. You could not look down. You must not. If you looked, you fear you would kill yourself. You lead them silently through the hallways until you stop at your room next to the headmistress’s. You unlocked the door with shaking hands, and you could feel your heart cry at the sight before you.

The children who were hiding under your bed were strewn across the floor, blank, dead eyes looking up at the ceiling. You could barely move, and Jinyoung sighed at your almost-catatonic state. “Go on, (Y/N),” he said with barely concealed impatience. “Go get me the notebook.”

It’s only when the other man shoved you did you stumble toward your pillow, feet heavy and tripping over the bodies strewn across the floor. The notebook– it was inside your pillowcase and you drew it out quietly.

When you turned around with the small, worn notebook in your hands, Jinyoung’s eyes lit up. He leaned forward and basically grabbed it, flipping through it fervently with a sick, twisted smile on his face. “Finally,” he breathed, “finally.”

He stood there for an almost uncomfortably long amount of time, flipping through before landing and staring at a page. With a sinking feeling in your gut, you knew which part it was. After a few minutes, Jinyoung finally turned to the men standing right at the door. “Leave us,” he commanded, and despite their obvious uncomfortableness with the command, they left you two in the room alone.

Jinyoung stared at you for a moment before thrusting the notebook at you, opening to the page you had dreaded. “Read,” he commanded again.

“Why?” you asked, but Jinyoung shook his head and you cleared your throat slightly before reading aloud what you had written. The journal entries you added once a year on your birthday until today. “Entry one. Jinyoung is gone, am I happy about it? No, but maybe he’ll come back.” The words were choked, and Jinyoung tsked again.

“Clearer.” You coughed lightly, eyes quavering with unshed tears.

“I want him to return and marry me. I want to smile at his side. I miss Jinyoung. It’s only been a few hours but I want to hear his stories again. He’s a sky prince. Will he return? I must believe he shall, for if he won’t I know that butcher from the village will ask me to be his. I don’t like him that much, he gets mad when I’m dreaming about things that are out of my reach”—the first tear slipped down your face and you quickly scrubbed it away with your palm—“but I’m sure Jinyoung will return.

“He has to,” you continued with your resolve weakening and more tears falling down your face, “because I love him. In all those children’s books, they say love trumps all. I want Jinyoung to come and yell at the kids teasing me like he used to. I just want him back.”

Jinyoung sighed, hands coming out and cupping your face in his big hands. You flinched but Jinyoung paid no mind, thumbs gently brushing the tears away. How could he? How could he come here and kill all the people you cared for and then just treat you so softly? “Continue,” he ordered once more, but his voice was a lot quieter.

“Entry two. Jinyoung isn’t back, but I’ll wait until next year. I’ll be old enough to marry then, and he’ll come and take me away. The butcher is getting impatient. He keeps coming to talk to the headmistress about me, and I’m never allowed to listen in. Where is Jinyoung? Even though he was a little mean to me, he still made sure I was all right. After all, I was the only one who listened to him. Why can’t he come to visit?

“Entry three.” Jinyoung’s hands were still on your face and you refused to lift your eyes from the book. You don’t think you could look at him after what he had done. “The butcher asked me to marry him. I said no and he hit me.” You could feel Jinyoung tense, fingers pressing into the hollows of your cheeks slightly. “The headmistress was angry with him, but he still waits at the gates sometimes to look for me. I try not to go out anymore. Where’s Jiny-”

“Stop,” Jinyoung hissed, hands dropping from your face and grabbing the book back. “Don’t read it anymore. Instead, tell me.” His voice shakes almost imperceptibly as if he’s trying not to become the eighteen-year-old he once was. “Why did you write in it?”

Your lips tightened, you still refused to lift your head to look at Jinyoung. “I missed you. I was young, lonely, and I loved you.” Jinyoung’s hand grabbed your jaw again, forcing you to meet his eyes. They still didn’t show any affection for you, but you’re rather glad about that. If he looked at you with love you might have forgiven him.

“Do you still?” The question made your lips quirk up. How could he ask you this now? Your eyes shifted to the side; you could hardly stand to look at his cold eyes.

“Maybe under different circumstances, I would.” The answer was enough for Jinyoung and he dropped his hand once more. He turns away, but you can’t help but ask him one more question. “Why didn’t you kill me?”

Jinyoung looked back at you, something akin to pity flashing across his stony face, and he stepped closer again, leaning closer. You flinch back but his hands dart out again, holding you still as he presses his lips to yours. Unlike the first kiss you had received from him, your heart didn’t beat in excitement, only in fear and disgust. There was no feeling as if Jinyoung was only trying to see if he would feel any different.

He lets you go after a moment, pulling back with an unreadable expression on his face. “Maybe if I stayed here, I would’ve married you. But I had left and I only knew you as the girl for whom I owed a favor. I suppose it was some sort of wishful thinking. Never will happen again, probably.” Your heart dropped.

If he stayed, this never would’ve happened. He would have been yours. But he’s unrecognizable now. Greedy, evil, you hate him. Jinyoung laughed at the expression on your face. “Don’t look like that, (Y/N). Be glad I kept you alive. And don’t worry about the butcher anymore.”

You didn’t move, almost in a sort of parody from when he first told you he was leaving. You didn’t move until long after he left the room and the sun was rising to its position in the middle of the sky. Only then did you have the courage to move. The bodies were still strewn across the grounds and you couldn’t help but cry for each and every one of them.

Fifteen kids, you remembered the count. Fifteen kids and all of them dead. Fifteen children and their mistress, the workers, all dead. Only you were alive and you didn’t want it. The village was just as quiet, when you had left the gates of the orphanage no one came out.

But when you approached the center, one lone woman came out, eyes burning with hatred and tears. It was the butcher’s sister. “You killed him,” she cried shakily, a finger pointing at you accusingly. “You sent that man to kill him.”

You can barely hear her, your own heartbeat thrumming in your ears. But the words struck you. “He– Jinyoung? He killed–” She nodded angrily once more.

“He came, saying he was doing a favor for you, and shot him point blank. You told him to,” she screeched, and you flinched. She took an angry step towards you, and you took one back.

“I didn’t– No, of course I–” you pleaded, “I didn’t know– He didn’t tell me, I told him nothing.” The sister shrieks, in fury or anguish, you don’t know, and lunges at you. She doesn’t get far when someone else runs out and holds her back. You recognize him too, the son of the village elder. His name escaped you at the moment, and it would only be years later, when you tell the story to your grandchildren, that his name was Jackson.

He sighed, shaking his head at you. “I don’t think you caused this,” he started to say slowly, “but I don’t think the village will believe you. I cannot save you from their wrath. You need to leave now. I can give you time until sundown, but leave.” His face tightened at your expression; you didn’t know what face you’re making.

You didn’t even have time to register when he pulled the sister back inside and left you standing out there in the open. Only then did you realize that while the town yard was empty, eyes were staring at you through the windows and the doors. He was right, they blamed you. Who else, when all the others in the orphanage were dead? Maybe Jinyoung thought he was doing you a favor in some twisted way, but his life wasn’t the one upended, it was yours.

You ran all the way back home in a fit of panic, pulling out the lone suitcase you had and shoving everything you can into it. Maybe if you had paused for a moment, you would have changed your mind because you certainly wanted to die after seeing what you saw. But this wasn’t the way you wanted to go. Maybe you didn’t deserve it, but you wanted to live.

Walking out of the town after spending almost all of your life in it was strange. You didn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, you were happy you were gone from this hellhole, but on the other, you hated yourself for causing the death of someone. Why would Jinyoung do this? That was the lone question on your mind. Did he cause all this just for the damn notebook?

Your heart ran cold thinking about Jinyoung. What happened to him? Sure, when he still lived at the orphanage was cold-hearted and often just flat-out mean, but he still had some sense of morality. But not he just went on a rampage, killing every child in the orphanage because of what reason? It couldn’t have been spite.

What changed him? You shivered, remembering his cold eyes as they looked at you like you were just another person in his way. And maybe you were. But then, why would he kill the butcher? A favor? In return for keeping care of his notebook?

You shivered again, not up and down your spine, but from the cold. It was November, not quite winter yet but it certainly felt like it. The orphanage was always warm in the winter so you hadn’t the need for coats, but now you regretted it. With only a worn shawl around your shoulders, you were uncomfortable in the bitter wind.

If you died from the cold now, you wouldn’t be opposed. You had been walking for hours; night had settled over the trees and the temperature dropped by the minute. Death seemed like a good option, and maybe it would give you peace of mind about Jinyoung.

You may not be given peace of mind, but your brain did stop thinking about Jinyoung when your ankle rolled and you started falling down the steep hill you had been so carefully walking along the edge of. Sharp rocks bruised and scraped your body as you tumbled down what seems to be everlasting.

Only when you slammed into the side of what seems to be a stone wall did you come to a halt. You could hardly move, aching all over and your eyes fluttered shut. Everything hurt and you just wanted to die. You could hear a lantern jangle but you didn’t even have the energy to call out for who it was. You only feebly curled into yourself and let the pain overcome you and turn everything muddy, and then to black.

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accursedhex · 2 years

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𝘐𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘴? 𝘙𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴? 𝘌𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺? — 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 ; 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺.

That doesn’t specify just how one is able to stay.

Completely and wholly.

Partially and just beyond the others grasp.

It was laughable just how easily the words rolled of Jinyoung’s tongue.

With every time it’s said, it loses its sincerity.

Genuine, uninhibited, purest, and truest... these sort of things wane, losing shine and luster with every utterance from a false advertiser. Desperately trying to keep your attention, to keep you hooked... to keep you coming back begging for more.

Let’s face it... where else would sell you such a prettily packaged lie. Knowing every little filthy bit of you, what it was that you craved to hear— yearned to hear.

Where else... who else, when— despite the sting— it ever so subtly chipped away at the ever growing ache that weighed down your chest. Threatening to drown you, but at least you had theze few fleeting words to cling to. Something to keep you afloat, head barely able to stay above the ever swirling current threatening to consume you, to drag you down to the darkest depth of a pit you weren’t sure you could ever escape if you didn’t just accept the crumbs you were given.

As if they could sooth over the numerous slights, the festering wounds, the cuts and bruises that were starting to become an ever growing collection.

These few words, they were a bandaid over a bullet hole.

Hoping for the best as it’s haphazardly slapped on before you continue to stumble forward, just wishing for just one little touch of tenderness.

Anything to heal these insurmountable wounds.

They began to stink, eroding away, poison in your bloodstream. Any longer and there would be nothing left to save, a cold was coming in. There was only so much one could take before their own body starts to reject the rotting infestation, the ever growing infection that continued to flourish when you continue to subject yourself to these half-hearted attempts to, at the very least, cover over the gaping tears.

“I love you.” The most dreadful words one could say.

“I love you.” An abomination.

“I love you.” A complete atrocity.

“How could you?”

“. . . I love you.”

That doesn’t necessarily specify how they will stay with you though.

#edens moodboards #edens diary #park jinyoung #park jinyoung icons #jinyoung imagine #jinyoung icons #jinyoung scenarios #got7 #got7 moodboard #got7 drabble #got7 angst #jinyoung moodboard #jinyoung #b&w #jinyoung drabble #got7 imagines #got7 imagine #got7 icons #jinyoung imagines

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write-it-good-imagines · 3 months

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Nothing More(M) - Four

~5k words; hi everyone! I am so happy to see this story is still growing wings after so much time, and that you still take some time to read it. Thank you for that! In exchange, I'll give you some crazy action. Enjoy~

I’ve learnt my lesson now… I shouldn’t have had sex with you because I knew, I knew that I’d fall in love with you. You are the person someone would be lucky to be in love with.

“So? What are you guys doing tonight? I’m sure there must be something!”

Leena’s cheerful demeanor put a smile on the barista’s face as well. Not intentionally trying, but she attracted everyone to herself like a magnet.

“Ah, I don’t know. We didn’t plan anything, I mean I am at my cousin’s club tonight,” said Samantha, dipping her head in a silent thank you for her double cappuccino. The little coffee spot by the hospital was just perfect to savor an early august morning, on a Friday that started slower and lazier than all other days.

Leena was not pleased with Samantha’s answer. “Really? Did not plan anything? You tell me, for once in forever, you open your soul up to a guy, after which you two talk non-stop, like a married couple, only to tell me you are taking a shift at the club the day he’s coming back?”

“Well, we don’t talk non-stop, I mean he’s got shows to do and I am taking consults—”

“Outrageous.” Concluded Leena and seated herself at a secluded table. Samantha followed soon enough. “It is exactly because you are taking consults again that I can’t comprehend why you’re running away from him. For God’s sake, you had a surgery.”

Samantha’s eyes fell to the milky foam of her coffee cup. “I had a surgery.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

The woman nodded her head. “Like it was the first time. Thrilling, exciting. But knowing exactly what to do.”

“Just allow yourself to love the guy.”

Samantha scoffed as if Leena had just told her she won the lottery. Highly unlikely, but a possibility even so. “Oh please, I don’t love Mark.”

Leena arched her eyebrows and took a sip of her espresso. “No shit you don’t.”

“No, really. You don’t love a guy who goes up on a stage every night to rip his shirt off and has thousands of girls lining up to get a piece.”

“And does he?” Leena inched closer to Samantha. “Give a piece? Do tell.”

“Well,” Samantha crossed her arms over her chest. ”Says he doesn’t.”

“Yeah, cause when you assumed he was out whoring he was sleeping.”

“He was sleeping. I think I know a thing of two about him sleeping.”

Leena urged the other to go on. “What else? Ripping his shirt off on the stage you mentioned.”

“Aren’t these kind of guys players? If I look up a photo of last night’s concert, I’ll bet my entire salary that I find one with those tattooed abs of his shoved in my face.” Samantha said, and Leena could not detect even an ounce of regret or sadness in her voice. More like intrigued jealousy.

“You asked him to be your fuck buddy,” with the hand holding the cap, Leena extended an index to point to the other. “Don’t call him a player. Because he was anything but.”

Just as Samantha was opening her mouth to protest, the screen of her phone lit up with a couple of messages. Her actions were stopped to scan the texts with her eyes and a smile tugged at her lips.

“Mhm,” Leena said, tilting her head towards the direction of the phone. “What did he say?”

“Ah, that he’s preparing to go to the airport.”

“The exact words?”

She knew she did not have any chance to escape Leena at that point. “Quote: good morning beautiful. I hope you have an amazing day today. We’re gathering our stuff to fly out. Can’t wait to see you again. End of quotation.”

“Such a player, no?” Leena mocked surprise then laughed at Samantha, who had nothing to contest about what her friend outlined so harshly. In the days following their late-night conversation when Mark was in New Delhi, they kept closely in touch, each texting one another when they found a moment of quiet in their busy schedules. Their discussions did not delve into much depth but were more like quick check-ups to strengthen the connection. Samantha would tell Mark about her days and her patients, and he would ask questions to clarify topics, or would give compliments to praise her work. Mark in turn would talk about the concerts, and the cities he’d fly to, and it took Samantha’s breath away every time he’d say he would take her with him to see what he saw.

Samantha grabbed the phone from the table surface to text Mark back. “What am I even doing, Leena?”

[To: Mark] good morning to you too, Mark 😊

[To: Mark] always aiming to put a smile on my face huh?

[To: Mark] safe travels!! I missed you too

[To: Mark] having a shift at the club tonight, meet me there? I’ll talk to my cousin to leave earlier

“What you are doing,” Leena started, twirling the cup around to play with the dark brown liquid “is not acknowledging your feelings. I can understand you’re still scarred because of Henry but Mark is not him. And I think he’ll help you heal.”

A short ding came from Samantha’s phone almost instantly.

[From: Mark] took you long enough to tell me you missed me

[From: Mark] thanks, flights back home are always tougher

[From: Mark] I’ll be there. there’s a cool skate rink nearby that’s open till late

[From: Mark] if you wanna go, ofc

A sigh escaped Samantha’s lips as her eyes scanned the mobile screen. “I know,” Samantha lifted the phone for Leena to see the texts and the other gave a small gesture, indicating she was on Mark’s side. “I guess I never allowed myself to get over Henry entirely. Not fair to Mark.”

“You said you’d talk to him, right? Besides, you’ve already fucked each other, it’s not like you don’t know intimacy.”

Both Leena and Samantha laughed. Then a lingering expression followed on Samantha’s features. “Mark said he couldn’t make love to me and leave the following day like the next guy.”

Leena’s eyes widened in clear surprise. “Mark said he’s making love to you.”

“It’s just sex, I know. That was an exaggeration.”

“Sam,” Leena adjusted the empty cup on the table and took Samantha’s hands into her own, and, albeit a dramatic gesture, she meant all the seriousness she could muster. “Talk to him. Tell him how you truly feel. He’s not seeing you as a simple fuck buddy anymore. Mark will prove this to you, most likely sooner rather than later.”

During the rest of the day, Samantha felt restless, restless with Leena’s words echoing in her mind, restless with Mark’s words flooding over, time after time. Samantha’s life was growing busier by the day, word of her returning to practice bringing more patients which required her knowledgeable care. She returned to observing surgeries, involving herself in helping whenever necessary, and taking upon other surgeries. Ultimately, she couldn’t make sense of why she allowed herself to be so consumed of Henry’s mistakes and treatment. Why she pulled away from the thing that made the most sense. It was so long ago that she couldn’t remember what prompted her to tug away. It should have been a sign to start anew.

And then life was growing busier by the day with Mark intoxicating her thoughts. A wicked game, chasing away feelings which only returned stronger, more vivid. Samantha did miss Mark, in his entirety. She missed the cozy scent of his Tom Ford cologne when he embraced her, she missed the coarse gentle tone of his voice when he made jokes, and she missed his passionate way of making love.

Samantha decided she would give Mark a chance, beyond just being her fuck buddy.

With that conviction in mind, Samantha left the hospital and rode straight home to prepare herself for the night, in both mental and physical terms. All her makeup products and brushes felt so unfamiliar she found herself wondering when the last time was when she took the time to pamper herself. She dressed herself with a burgundy low-shoulder crop top, with flowy butterfly long sleeves, and a plain black pair of jeans to hug her curves. Samantha gave her hair the freedom to bounce with the wind to complete her look. A quick text exchange with her cousin gave her the green light to leave the club as soon as Mark showed up.

At around 9:30, Samantha arrived at the club, shortly before it opened to the public. Changwook was there as well, an all hands on deck kind of night.

“Hey stranger,” Changwook lifted his head from the bar sink and was thrown off guard by Samantha’s looks. He had to clear his throat to regain his composure. “You’re beautiful.”

“Today only?” Samantha retorted and approached the bar counter, shoving a small backpack under it. She ran a strand of hair behind her ear and Changwook looked away.

“Guess I wasn’t the chosen one.” He stated and threw Samantha an apron. She looked at him with an apologetic look but couldn’t find anything right to say. “It’s cool, really, least I tried.”

“Changwook, it’s not your fault. I’m just…”

Changwook smiled and waved his hand in dismissal. “Not interested. Let’s get to business, we’re opening soon.”

As the night grew deeper, the club welcomed many eager customers to announce yet another successful night for Samantha’s cousin. From behind the bar counter, Samantha noticed a good number of celebrities intertwined in the crowd and her eyes couldn’t help but wander around in search for Mark. In the serving haste, her apron became drenched with water and alcohol, so she whispered to Changwook’s ear that she would go to the back room to get another. Mingling through the crowd, Samantha arrived quickly at the changing room and closed the door behind her. She opened her locker to grab a fresh apron and was just finishing untying the dirty one, when the door clicked open.

Samantha’s lips couldn’t contain an enthusiastic yet nervous smile. She straightened her body, fixing her hair quickly with a swift motion of the hand before turning to the direction of the sound.

She could never have been prepared for the stature towering in front of the closed door.

A white half-transparent shirt which wrapped a chiseled body, with a silver bracelet at the hand lingering in one of the fabric pockets of the trousers, in a stance Samantha knew like the back of her hand. His hair was sleeked back, only a rebel strand playing at his thick eyelashes.

“Henry.” Samantha breathed, the delight of her expression faltering all too soon. She felt her throat choking.

“It’s too bad that happiness on your face was not for me. And saddening you look so bitter instead.” Henry spoke, maintaining a velvety smile. “I’m happy to see you.”

Henry took a couple steps closer to Samantha. She kept her ground. “I’m not. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be so rude.” With each step he took forward, Samantha took one back, until her back was pressed against the cold metal of the lockers. She was looking at him sharply in the eye. “It’s been almost two years, I missed you.”

Samantha pushed a hand to his chest to warn him not to get any closer. Henry complied, keeping at a distance that was still not comfortable for her. “Don’t get any closer. Don’t give me the speech on how you missed me after you humiliated me in front of the entire hospital. I want you to leave.”

It took every ounce of Samantha’s strength an effort to confront Henry at a time like that. If there was anything he was good at, it was taking people by surprise at the wrong moments. The first time in a long while Henry was not residing in the back of her head appeared to be the magic trick to summon him into her life again. When he still had a lot of control over her feelings and her reactions.

Henry drew in closer, his tall stature hovering over her. He kept carrying the same smile, trying to ease the tension between them. When he raised a hand to cup Samantha’s cheek, her body quivered and froze all at once.

“But I’ve heard so many great things about you, darling. Management position, and once again operating. When we see each other tomorrow morning at the hospital, I’d really like to know why you stopped taking surgeries.”

There was not enough time for Samantha to process Henry’s words because the door clicked open to interrupt the scene.

There he was, the reason for Samantha’s happiness, even more handsome with a brown short-sleeved shirt and straight grey trousers, which indicated he took the effort to care for his looks. In his hand, he held a breathtaking bouquet arrangement with delicate snapdragons, elegant red roses, fragrant dianthus, and vibrant alstroemeria. A bouquet of a Parisian romance.

There was Mark, with a smile that lit up Samantha’s whole world, now evaporated into oblivion. At a closer look, you could still distinguish a faint trace of a smile, probably in excitement to see you again. Samantha would never come to know whether that was true. The thing she would know and would remember was Mark’s sadness unskillfully hidden behind a bleak smile.

Mark was not supposed to see that. Had the Universe been kind for once, he should have never seen what he just had. Panic was outlined all over Samantha’s features as soon as her eyes locked with Mark’s desolated ones. With the way he carried himself, even more masculine and so sure of himself, Henry would never guess Mark took a hefty blow.

“Thanks for the chat.” He stated simply and threw a brief look in Henry’s direction before backing away from the room. The murmur of a phrase that became so intimate to her was now the reason the tense air of the room strangled her out.

Samantha slapped Henry’s hand away from her cheek, tears crippling at her eyes. Henry’s gaze grew curious. “So he was the one your happiness was for. Maybe I should thank him.”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” Grunted Samantha and unpeeled herself from the lockers to chase after Mark. She swam through the crowd to get to the bar counter and reached for her backpack in a hurried motion. Changwook’s attention was diverted to her, and he had to look twice when he noticed her tears in his peripheral vision.

“Samantha—”

Samantha lifted her hand in the air to keep the distance and she dashed away, reaching the outside of the club a tad too late. The only sighting of Mark was the bouquet of flowers left desolately on a nearby bench. Samantha stretched her arms to lift it from the bleak wood and a card fell to the ground. She picked it up and a tear fell on the black ink inside the ceramic envelope. Mark’s handwriting lived inside, just for her.

Would you like to be my date?

The fifth call ended to voicemail. Samantha paced back and forth in her living room, fingers covering her mouth while the other hand was clenched on the phone. The moon hung high in the sky yet the translucent gleam painting over the flowers altered them to cast a painful sadness throughout Samantha’s house. She sat down on the couch, an inhibited tiny stream of tears flowing down her cheek. Samantha paid no attention to Murphy whose paws were patting all over her legs, in an attempt to soothe her sorrow. Poor thing couldn’t know why she was so sad, and she didn’t allow him to ease her mind. Murphy settled on curling himself against her feet, waiting patiently for her to let him in.

After some time spent in silence, she chuckled. The whole situation was, in fact, hilarious. Samantha leaned her back onto the couch, eyes fixated on the nothingness of the ceiling. At one point, she thought about going to Mark’s house. The impediment was that she did not know where he lived. And another impediment would be that he made himself clear he would not be happy with her company.

It was funny how things decided to play out the way they did. The perfume of the fresh flowers made her wonder if Mark picked them by himself. Mark was supposed to find out everything, she was supposed to tell him about Henry being the reason she so adamantly pushed him away. Mark was not supposed to see Henry so close in her proximity, touching her so familiarly and playing all the right cards to have her frozen in place.

Now Mark was everywhere, a permanent resident in her mind, a permanent resident in her soul, he was everything Samantha wanted and everything that was sliding away.

The rest of the night passed at an agonizingly slow speed. Samantha spent much of it on the couch, brown orbs dashing back and forth between the flowers on the coffee table and the dark screen of her phone. She managed to doze off for a little while, still aware of her surroundings, and the only scene that replayed in her mind was the handsome image of Mark, with the spending smile on his lips and the ruffle in his hairstyle. It stopped there, and it then replayed from the top. It was like nothing else existed.

It was then she took the decision to go and visit him directly at his studio. At the crack of dawn, Samantha gently awoke Murphy from her feet and took the opportunity to grab some fresh air while walking him. By the time she realized she hadn’t taken off her make-up, she could only hope the mascara was not smeared too much. Feeling a tad more refreshed after the walk, Samantha fed her little man and reassured him, with loving snuggles and pats in his fur, that he was loved and appreciated. With a little bark he must have understood the message.

Samantha took a shower to cleanse off the events of the previous night and went to put on her office outfit for the day. Having early consultations and a surgery check-up scheduled for the second part of the day, she texted her attending that she would join them some time after the rounds. Then, she texted Leena.

[To: Leena] morning Leena, will be late today for rounds, don’t wait up

[From: Leena] oh? Mark kept you up all night?

[To: Leena] something happened last night and we couldn’t be with each other

[To: Leena] I’ll tell you when we meet

[From: Leena] ok, I’ll cover for you

[From: Leena] I’m still good to go on OBGYN.

Mark’s group’s studio was not too far away from the hospital, and Samantha parked her motorcycle outside of the tall building. The sudden visit was not planned ahead by Samantha who let her feelings take the lead. Not the one to usually lose composure, it rarely happened for her to give her heart the reins. Samantha tied her helmet to the bike and strengthened her white coat under the leather motorcycle jacket.

Inside the building, the modern lobby was guarded by three security guards, with subtle movements but ever so vigilant. They cocked their eyebrows as the clicks of her heels echoed against the black marble, her hospital badge dangling by the pocket.

Samantha approached the receptionist’s desk. “Hi, my name is Doctor Samantha Stoss, I am looking for Mark Tuan.”

“Hello. I am sorry but the group is not expecting any visitors today. Should I say you dropped by?”

At the nearby elevator, Samantha heard two other dancers discussing choreography for Mark’s group and that they’d get breakfast before joining them. Which meant that Mark was there, at that exact moment. Samantha’s heart picked up a beat in her chest.

“Yes, thank you, I’ll wait in the visitor’s area for when he’ll be available.”

Samantha was guided by security to the floor where the group was at, and was instructed to wait in the lobby area, where a couple of other people were sitting. All the other people were too busy to notice the moment she left the lobby, to walk towards the hall with the practice studios. Most of the rooms were still devoid of light, except for a singular one at the far end of the hall, where muffled laughter animated the atmosphere. The echo of her heeled steps was reverberating in her ears, enough to stifle the emotions in her chest.

The door to the studio was open and Samantha stopped in the frame.

“Mark.”

Collectively, all the sounds dissolved into thin air, and all the other members stopped dead in their various stretching positions. Mark was sitting on the floor as he tilted his head backwards to look at Samantha. It seemed that, initially, he couldn’t believe Samantha was standing in their doorframe.

“Oh, so you are Mark’s girlfriend? You are astonishing.” Bambam tweedled and Jackson had to muffle his mouth to prevent him from saying anything further, notwithstanding with his own lips parted in blatant shock. One had to give it to him, he was good at breaking a brutal silence. A couple of paces nearby, Samantha noticed Jinyoung smiling at her and if she didn’t know any better, she’d say his greeting smile was razor-sharp. All of a sudden, Samantha wondered how Mark spoke of her to the guys. If he did, at all.

“Excuse us a moment, guys.” Mark straightened his body from the floor, his eyes never leaving Samantha’s silhouette. Samantha stepped aside, allowing Mark to walk by and guide them both to an empty studio nearby. He closed the door behind them with a powerful motion, which tied a knot in Samantha’s stomach.

She was searching for any sentiment in Mark’s posture, be it anger, sadness, excitement, anything it could have been. She was met with stoicism instead.

“You didn’t return my calls.” Began Samantha. Mark simply nodded. “And you haven’t texted back, either.”

“Yeah, I didn’t. Figured you’d be busy.”

The harshness of his words made Samantha wince. “Don’t do this Mark.”

“I’m not doing anything. We’re leaving again day after tomorrow and…”

He stopped for a moment and it took her breath away. Mark’s mask was slowly starting to fade away. It was then Samantha noticed his eyes were tired. They had so few moments together and an entire night out of those was ruined, because of Henry. Because of her.

“…we’re rehearsing a new set. So, I really have just a moment. Why are you here?”

Samantha wanted to inch closer to him, to hug him, to get lost in his presence. She refrained from doing so. “I’m here because I missed you, Mark. Because last night was a huge misunderstanding and because you didn’t allow me to explain.”

“Explain?” Mark called out in an even voice, but his hand threw the hood of his sweatshirt to rake his hair in a precipitous movement. “You told me no one touched you since I left. That you don’t think anyone will. We were supposed to go out on a date, and I come pick you up to what?”

“Mark, listen to me—”

“Sam, he touched you like he knew you inside out, like he did that a thousand times before. “

“Mark, stop—”

“I don’t know you inside out.”

Samantha’s eyes narrowed to prevent another set of tears from forming behind her eyelids. Mark’s hands dropped to his sides as he took a deep, fatigued breath. “I know I’m just the sex but at least don’t lead me on if you have no other plans for us.”

“Mark, Henry is the more I needed to tell you about!”

Samantha raised her voice, and she didn’t realize a tear escaped away from its enclosure. At its sight, Mark’s features instantly soothed. “I took the flowers home Mark, thank you for not throwing them away. They were beautiful. Yes, I want to be your date, and yes, I am sad you are leaving so soon and I’m throwing us away. I want you to understand Henry has no place in my present, or in my future.”

“Henry,” Mark started, checking his smartwatch as it vibrated, “has a place in your present if he gets to touch you and halt your every move like he seemed to do last night. I gotta go. I’ll call.”

“Will you really?” Samantha exhaled, watching Mark’s back as he turned to walk away. He looked at her over his shoulder.

“Yes. I’ll call.”

The ride back to the hospital was agonizing, even if fast. There were seeds of doubt and uneasiness planted into her mind. Part of her wanted to believe that Mark would call, and he’d grant her the chance to set the record straight, but the better part of herself pushed her to believe he would pack his bags and get out of her life. Samantha barely had time to gather herself together, just as she got ambushed right at the entrance by both Jonathan and Leena. And they were far from being happy.

“Would you care to tell us why Henry is back and why he’s so boastfully claiming to having you back?”

Jonathan’s voice woke Samantha from her trance. Without any warning, the events of the previous night stretched farther than Mark looking handsome and ready to sweep her off her feet.

When we see each other tomorrow morning at the hospital, I’d really like to know why you stopped taking surgeries. Samantha felt like she was going to throw up.

“So, it was true.” she said quietly, arming herself with the realest impassivity she was able to forge.

“What do you mean it was true? Why is the bastard here?”

“Jonathan, I have no idea, okay?” Samantha turned to him, and Jonathan’s eyes noticed the anger blended with the heartache in her hazel irises. “He barged into the club last night, surprised me into the changing room and touched my cheek and it made my body tighten. Just as Mark opened the door and looked at me like I was the most disgusting whore on the planet. So, don’t fucking ask me.”

Leena reached to Samantha to envelop her in an embrace. “Sweetie, are you okay? Why didn’t you call me, either of us? Did you get any sleep?”

Samantha shook her head as she tightened the hug. “Not much, no. I went to see Mark this morning. Needless to say, it went badly.”

Jonathan was boiling with displeasure but if anyone saw him from outside, they’d never guess he was ire. Only by his glassy emerald eyes.

“What did he tell you, guys?”

“Certainly, didn’t speak much,” Jonathan concluded, and Leena had to slide her fingers over his knuckles to untighten his hand from the pressure. “He joined the rounds this morning, my neuro rounds. When chief asked for you, he said you’d had a rough night. Gosh, Sam, you should have called us because I was about to smash his head in, thinking he’d forced himself upon you.”

“I’m fine, Jonathan,” at least physically, she was. Mentally, Samantha was only just juggling the tumult. “Henry joined your rounds because there’s only one attending spot in neuro, we all knew.”

Samantha locked her eyes with Jonathan’s. “We’re not waging wars. I am going to walk in there, with my head held high, and I am going to confront him.”

“How can you be so calm? Why are you so calm? Henry’s got no place here, with none of us.”

In the distance, Samantha’s gaze fell upon Henry, absentmindedly flirting with a nurse, while his awareness was invested in her. If she allowed herself to give into her emotions, they would consume her entirely.

“That’s not for any of us to decide. It’s for you to decide if you’re better than him as attending.”

Jonathan couldn’t believe his ears. He was watching Samantha as she walked into the building, in a straight path to the devil. Within himself, he acknowledged she was not in the same spot Henry left her, two years ago. Jonathan was afraid that one wrong move would make her crumble.

“Good morning to you, my fair lady.” Henry shifted his position on the elbow leaning against the nurse’s station, to face Samantha with an inviting smirk. “Can I interest you with a coffee?”

“Doctor Carter,” Samantha acknowledged him, waiting for her charts to be delivered to the nurse’s station. Henry allowed his gaze to observe Samantha’s leather motorcycle jacket, over a tight crayon olive dress, and her doctor’s coat matching the white stilettos on her feet. Samantha was very aware of his charade. It was the same he used to win her from Jonathan, years ago. “No thank you, I’m drinking tea now.”

Henry chuckled, clasping his hands together. “Are you comfortable riding the bike on those gorgeous heels? Jimmy Choos?”

“Look, doctor Carter,” Samantha took the charts from the station, a silent smile directed to the nurse. At that point, not only did she realize she could not compare with Samantha, but she couldn’t keep up with Henry. “Let me set things straight. One, stop claiming me as if I’m some object. Two, I prefer not to intersect paths with you.”

“Oh? So why did you ditch lovely doctor Williams there to talk to me?”

At any given point, Samantha would have succumbed to Henry’s charms. But she took a good look at him, and he was not Mark, and he would never be. Henry had the element of surprise when his fingers brushed against her skin. Samantha was not completely sure her body would fight back should there be another intentional touch of his, but her mind was.

“You see, Henry,” Samantha looked up at him to counter the lingering smirk on his lips. Admittedly, Henry was surprised. “First time, it was on purpose. Second time, I want to set the record straight. Don’t touch me, ever again. I don’t know what your intentions are, but I want nothing to do with you.”

“Is that so?” Henry challenged and lowered his head to match Samantha’s gaze. She gulped, a gesture that did not go unnoticed. “Something tells me you’re not telling the truth.”

“Doctor Carter.” Jonathan’s even tone broke Henry’s stance. The latter fixed the collar of his coat.

“Doctor Williams! Let’s have a healthy competition, shall we? Rumor has it you’re racing for attending this year. And, of course,” he gestured to Samantha “you must have the support of most of the residents of this hospital.”

“What I can say to you is good luck. If you still have that nice camera, you can take a picture of me when I become attending.”

Henry laughed and waved a hand in a dismissive manner in the air, before walking away at his pager pinged. “Didn’t you choose neurosurgery just to try and steal Samantha from me? That’s a bit of wishful thinking on your side.”

Leena’s eyes widened at Henry’s claims, even more at Jonathan’s irritated lack of response. She then looked at Samantha who seemed familiar enough with the remark. Leena’s pager beeped soon after and followed in Henry’s steps, azure orbs lingering on Jonathan’s jaded ones. He was apologetic to her and the last time he saw Leena that day was bitter, with her disappointed expression.

Samantha’s phone started ringing in her pocket. She walked away towards her neo-natal ward and slid a hand to her pocket, answering before checking the number.

“Doctor Samantha Stoss, what can I help you with?”

“Didn’t know you recommended yourself like that when speaking, doctor Stoss.”

Samantha had to recompose herself, exhaling in relief. “Mark, hey. Sorry, morning was just crazy.”

Mark chuckled on the other line. “Doesn’t give you the chance to get bored. You can tell me all about your day tonight, if you wanna watch a movie at my place.”

Samantha giggled, allowing Mark to register her contentment. “Sounds… sounds very nice. Thank you, Mark.”

“Of course,” Mark’s voice adopted a sliver of a commanding tone, “I cannot guarantee we’re not going to have angsty sex before, or after. Or both.”

Samantha gasped. As much as Mark’s words provoked her womanhood, they also provoked anxiety. Anxiety that he’d end their hopes before they grew wings. “I’ll be there.”

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