#gotta keep going until friday. then its done. am so excited but so tired and so nervous and so happy and sad and everything

[lactosefreevanillayoghurt]

i don't feel real anymore and it's only. monday.

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART THREE

Part One, Part Two

Warnings: just some swearing

May 1995

“We’re totally gonna get a record deal!”

Luke said for the tenth time in the past hour as he bounced in his seat.

It was Friday night and normally, you would all be messing around at the park, the beach, or just watching a movie in the studio. But when your phone rang and it was the booking manager for the Orpheum telling you that Sunset Curve is officially the new opener next month, the boys insisted on being there the second your shift at the diner was over.

So instead of arguing about having another Star Wars marathon or playing at the pier, you were all packed in your regular booth at Cece’s for celebratory milkshakes. You sat on the very edge of the booth, practically falling asleep on Alex. Ever since you got the call that morning, every cell in your body felt supercharged with excitement.

But now that the day was coming to an end, you could hardly stay awake enough to pay attention to the conversation.

Bobby, who was in your usual spot, pinched Luke’s arm. “Don’t jinx it, dude.”

“It’s not jinxing if you know for sure.” Luke said. “I mean, we’re awesome! And we’ve worked so hard to get to this point. It’s all gonna pay off.”

As much as you wanted to believe him, you were still nervous. There was nothing you were prouder of than your music, and you knew that a crowd that big would be good for gaining a lot of new fans. But the idea of that many people seeing you perform and hearing your lyrics was nerve-wracking.

You could tell the others felt the same way. Bobby was biting his nails, Alex was bouncing his leg so hard it almost hit the table and Reggie was slumped against the wall. Luke just stared at all of you, his bright smile never fading.

He snapped his fingers so loud that you jumped at the noise, then he started digging in his pockets. “I know what’ll cheer you guys up.”

Luke pulled out a safety pin, then brought its point down into the table, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth in concentration. After a few minutes, he brushed off the table and presented his design proudly. It was four words in huge slanted letters.

‘SUNSET CURVE WAS HERE’

“Seriously, Luke?” Alex said, his eyes wide. “Cece’s gonna kill you!”

Luke just smirked and handed him the pin, gesturing to the space under the words. “‘C’mon, man. You’re up first.”

It took a lot of convincing, but Alex eventually gave in, and one by one, you all signed your names.

‘Alex,

Bobby

Reggie

Luke

(Y/N)’

You heard the sound of Cece’s heels hitting the floor as she exited the kitchen. Panicking, you shoved the pin in your pocket just in time as she came up to the table. 

Before she could even see that anything was different, Reggie pointed at Luke.

“He did it!”

Cece frowned before inspecting the table, letting out a deep sigh and putting her hands on her hips.

“Are you vandalizing my diner, Patterson?”

Luke paled. “It was a group effort.”

“But it was your idea,” Alex said with a smirk, no doubt trying to pin the blame on Luke to keep his spot as Cece’s favorite. You had to bury your head into his shoulder to contain your laughter.

You could tell from the way that she was struggling to keep a straight face that Cece wasn’t actually mad but you weren’t gonna tell Luke that. He tried to kick Alex’s leg under the table but he hit yours instead. You hissed in pain and Luke paled even further.

“Shit, sorry, (Y/n).”

“And abusing my staff?” Cece joked, shaking her head.

Luke flashed her a charming smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, Cece. Just got a little excited.”

“I can see that.” She laughed then turned to you. “Hey. Get up. I got you something.”

You looked up at her in confusion but she didn’t offer you any answer as you dragged yourself up. Cece pulled a small blue box out from behind her back and handed it to you. “What’s the occasion?”

Cece rolled her eyes. “Just open it.” 

The first thing you saw was a folded piece of paper with your name on it, under it was a silver key. You picked it up and held it in between your fingers as you carefully unfolded the paper to see three words in Cece’s careful handwriting.

just in case

You looked up at her, eyebrows knitted together. “Cece?”

She just winked as she put her hand on your cheek. “Honey, you know that I couldn’t have more faith in you and your rockstar dreams. But just in case things don’t work out...well, I couldn’t imagine giving this place to anyone else.”

You flew into her arms and hugged her so tight it was a little painful. Of course, all you wanted was for Sunset Curve to get signed to a label and take over the world. But this place was like home to you and the idea of owning it some day made your heart swell. “Thank you!”

The booth erupted in cheers and Cece playfully glared at them as she tucked you under her arm. “But you have to promise you’ll keep these boys of yours from doing any more damage to the property.”

Bobby scoffed. “Hey, we’re not-”

You slapped your hand over his mouth before nodding at Cece. “I’ll try my best.”

The bell on the door jingled to announce the arrival of another customer, and Cece left to greet them. You twirled the key around in your hand and looked at the boys' smiling faces, unable to hide your own.

As you settled back in the booth and took a sip of your milkshake, you couldn’t help but feel like everything was coming together.

2020

L.A was somehow so different, yet exactly the way you remembered.

The way the bright lights flooded the streets, to the way that every surface you see was decorated with a piece of art, made you anxious to re-explore the city you loved so much. 

You couldn’t help but stare through your swinging legs at the crowds walking around below, listening to the soft buzzing of the Orpheum’s sign above your head.

An hour ago when Luke had suggested walking around the city, you figured you would end up here eventually. But now that you were actually here, you couldn’t help the hollow feeling that settled in your stomach.

It must’ve shown on your face because Luke launched into one of his motivational speeches. “C’mon, guys. I know being dead wasn’t our first choice. But you gotta admit, it is easier to get around.”

Reggie pouted. “Easy for you maybe. I lost my shirt on that one.”

You hadn’t even noticed that he was shirtless until it reappeared in a flash and he sighed in relief.

“So, why did you bring us here?” Alex asked Luke. “Just another painful reminder of where we never got to play?”

You smiled sarcastically. “Yeah, thanks, Luke.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Because, we’re not done yet!”

He slung his arm around Alex’s shoulder, and gripped yours as he poofed you all down to the sidewalk, pulling away from you as fast as possible once your feet were back on the ground.

“I’m telling you.” Luke said. “We’ve been given a second chance. Let’s go see how many clubs we can hit before sunrise!”

He started walking down the street and Reggie was quick to follow, leaving you and Alex behind. As you watched them skip down the sidewalk, Alex let out a sharp ‘hey!’ and you whipped around to see him rubbing his shoulder.

A man in a long black suit stared straight into your eyes before tipping his hat to Alex and disappearing down the street. Every hair on your body stood on end as you stared at the spot where he was just standing.

“That was weird.” You said, turning to Alex. “You okay?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’m good.”

You could hear Luke and Reggie’s excited shouting as they ran down the street, but you and Alex kept your distance. He reached his arm out to you and you took it automatically.

Over the last six months, Alex had become your best friend. You had always been close but last summer when things got bad with his parents, he turned to you.

And when things started to get weird between you and Luke or you had a fight with your mom, Alex was the only one you wanted to talk to. 

“Alright.” Alex sighed. “Out with it.”

“Out with what?”

“I know you’re dying to talk about Luke.”

“I am not!”

Alex raised his eyebrows, clearly not convinced.

“Besides, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Nothing-” He took in a sharp breath. “(Y/n), for someone so smart, you’re acting like a dumbass.”

You put a hand on your chest, dramatically gasping. “Alexander Mercer! I had no idea you were capable of using that kind of language.”

He flashed you his middle finger before unlocking his arm from yours and pulling you into his side. “Seriously though. What’s rolling around up there?”

You were quiet for a few minutes as you rested your head on his shoulder. “I just want to know what I did, you know?” 

Alex nodded, but didn’t say anything, as he knew that you were just getting started.

“I mean, he’s always been there. He's always been my person. The one who I could count on for anything. Then that night in the studio, I thought…” 

You trailed off and Alex held you a little tighter. Even though he wasn’t there, he could probably describe that night in exact detail from the amount of times you had told him about it. “I just miss him."

“Yeah, I know.” Alex said, his eyes glued to Luke’s back. “But, hey, you know that he loves you, and that didn’t change because of one night.”

He started to say something else but cut himself off as he saw Reggie and Luke approaching, both with big, goofy smiles. Reggie took your arm that wasn’t around Alex’s back and locked it in his.

“What are you guys talking about?” He asked.

“Nothing!” You said way too fast, cringing to yourself as you dragged Reggie down the sidewalk. “Come on, Reg. Let’s go see if that old comic book shop is still around.”

As the night wore on, you became more and more thankful that you weren’t able to get tired.

You spent the whole night sneaking into concert venues, clubs, and pretty much any place you wanted now that there was no chance of getting caught. It wasn’t until you passed a small street-side café that you let yourself think about the one place you hadn’t been yet.

Cece’s Diner.

When Julie told you it had been 25 years, you assumed that it had closed down. That Cece had moved away. Maybe even reconnected with her son and lived out her life. It seemed like such a perfect thought that you didn’t want to ruin it with reality. 

But now that you had seen the way things had changed in the time you had been gone, you were now filled with a sense of urgency. You launched up the sidewalk until you were in front of the boys.

“Hey, guys?” You asked. They all stared at you curiously as a smile slowly spread across your face. “Anyone up for milkshakes?”

-

When you walked up to the diner - for only an instant - it was as if no time had passed. You felt the urge to run inside, throw your hair up in a ponytail, and make a beeline for the kitchen before you got in trouble for being late for your shift. 

Only as you got closer, you realized how much had changed. The building, which had always been a little ordinary and worn like a well-loved home, now felt about twenty stories tall. You dragged yourself forward toward the door, unable to look away.

The boys lingered behind you, but no one said a word. 

Your hand reached for the doorknob before you remembered that you wouldn’t actually be able to touch it.

I really gotta get used to that, you mumbled to yourself as you walked through the door.

It looked so different that you almost didn’t recognize it.

The bright blue paint had been replaced with brown on every wall, bookshelves lined the corners of the room, and long leather couches had replaced the booths and tables. The old jukebox had disappeared, and some old jazz song was playing over speakers over your head.

“Can I help you?” 

A voice asked from behind the counter. It was a boy that looked a little older than you, messy black hair and an uninterested smile. He dragged a blue pen across the margins of a book as he waited for your answer.

“You can see us?” Alex asked, to which the boy rolled his eyes.

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?” He said, raising his eyebrows when you all failed to answer either of his questions.

“My, my. Aren’t we chatty.”

“Who are you, exactly?” You said, trying to mask your annoyance with a smile.

“Teddy.” He said, pushing himself off the counter and making his way around until he stopped just a few feet ahead of you. “And you’re (Y/n).”

A shiver ran down your spine. “How do you know that?”

“You were a friend of my grandma’s.”

Before you could ask what the hell he meant by that, a man came walking out of the kitchen. He looked so much like Cece that it made your stomach flip. It was her son.

And as you looked back at Teddy, your mind slowly connected the dots. “You’re Cece’s grandson?”

He nodded.

“Okay, this is just too weird.” You said as you rubbed your temples. There was no way that this was actually happening, right? Maybe you somehow fell asleep and are having some weird ghost dream. 

“Okay, well I definitely feel old.” Alex sighed.

Your head was spinning. “What is even happening right now.”

Teddy smiled. “Well, it’s too bad we’re dead or else I would buy you coffee and explain it to you.”

You internally cringed at his pick-up line but you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Normally, random guys flirting with you made you uncomfortable but behind his cocky attitude, he seemed like a genuine guy.

Maybe it was the way that he twirled his pen between his fingers the way that Cece used to, but something told you that there was more to him than meets the eye.

Before you could answer, Luke spoke up. “Well, it was nice meeting you. But we really should be getting back home.”

You could see that he was right as the pale light came in through the windows as the sky started to lighten.

But you couldn’t help but notice that this was the first time he had interjected in the conversation since you got there, and a small part of you wondered if that had anything to do with the way that Teddy was staring at you.

You shook those thoughts from your head, giving Teddy a soft smile.

“Maybe next time.”

Though you weren’t capable of getting cold, you still shivered a little as you walked through the door and back out onto the street. You could feel Luke’s eyes on the side of your face, flickering down to the sidewalk when he saw you looking.

You gave him a light nudge on the shoulder, and he gave you a soft smile that you couldn’t quite decipher the meaning behind.

That was pretty much all you got from Luke these days.

“So,” Luke said, his enthusiasm returning in full force as he threw his arms over Alex and Reggie’s shoulders. “I think it’s safe to say we’re officially back in business.”

-

The second that you landed in the studio, your jaw dropped.

Julie was sitting at the piano, her voice shaky but full of passion as she belted out the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard. Her fingers hit the keys expertly and you smiled.

You closed your eyes, listening to her voice echo through the room and getting lost in the warm feeling the lyrics filled you with. It wasn’t until she stopped singing and sniffled quietly that your heart dropped.

Both you and Alex surged forward to comfort her but Luke shook his head and swirled his finger, signaling to meet up outside. You wanted to protest. To stay and comfort your new friend.

But Julie sniffled again and you thought that maybe it would be a good idea to give her space. You made a mental note to talk to her later and poofed out of the garage.

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13

Let me know if you want to be added!

[pbandjesse]

I feel really exhausted today. I dont feel as bad as I did but it has still been a little hard. I could not fall asleep or get comfortable last night and it was not fun at all. I was up until almost 2 and when I did sleep I had very active dreams and it wasnt even good sleep. Sucked. 

So when my alarm went off I told James I needed 5 more minutes. Which made it so I had to leave right away once I was washed and dressed. So it was a little bit of a stressful morning. 

But I got to work on time. And it was a nice enough day. We have 3 more kids registered but they are probably coming tomorrow. So it was just our small crew. But we were all kind of off today. Tired. 

Dasia came in late because her mom was flying back into town and her flight got delayed and it was a whole thing. The twins were there when I was and they were both tired. Caylee was in baby voice mode all day, and Caleb was just poking at his sister all day. But we did do some beading and that was fun. Hopefully well do more tomorrow. I probably could have been a better teacher but I was just really tired so we only did it for their first break. 

Once the other two girls got there we were all mostly just in class mode. I worked on sewing but I could barely focus on that. Today just sort of drug on. I did get some stuff done at least. And I read for a little while. 

We had lunch and me and the twins went outside for a while. It was very breezy today and it made me pretty cold. The first time we went out I remebered my jacket but the second time later in the day I forgot it inside and I was just so cold! My sweater was just to thin. I might put this one in storage. I have so many black sweaters so it wouldnt be the worst thing to put one away. 

Because everyone was so tired we pulled out the yoga mats and the kids all made nap areas. We used the big pieces of fabric in the closet as blankets and the bags of stuffing as pillows. It was very silly. But we had the lights off and for the most part they all focused on their work and it was all good. We were all sleepy though and I was shorter on patience for nonsense today. Like sneaking on youtube when youre actually in class. Like sure have a youtube video on while youre doing work, but not during the actual class. I know the class is stupid. I get it. But this is how this year is and yes I know the mask is annoying but we gotta wear them why have I had to ask 10 times in the last half hour. I might do a check mark system and if they get enough positive checks for masks Ill give them candy? Well see. I hate rewarding when its something they should just do, but this is a weird year. 

The second time we went outside we sung on the swings and on my silk for a while. But by the end of the hour we were all sort of whiny and tire. And so we went inside and cleaned up and I got ready to leave. 

I was very tired at this point. I checked in with Evers and gave him updates of the day. Told him the book requests from the kids. Turns out they are having someone from the library coming to bring books anyway so it was just a nice coincidence. 

I headed home. Took a different way home and it was nice. I stopped at burgerking and got a milkshake and when I got home I made the veggie popcorn chicken and it was alright. I might bake them longer next time to make them crispier but they were still nice. 

After I ate I decided I would sleep for a bit. Which ended up being almost 2 hours. I woke up very dehydrated and very confused because the sun had gone down. I changed into my new sweatshirt and got something to drink and I felt a little better. I checked on our animal crossing island and you can catch leaves right now! That was exciting but I was bad at it and got frustrated. 

I did some and work in my studio for a bit. I have two commissioned big frogs this week and so I sent them some fabric ideas. I also stuffed and finished a few other friends. I have to go through my frog box again though because I think I may have missed a bunch when I photographed before so I think Im gong to retake all the ones I still have? Well see. No sales today but James did get the two from friday sent out today. The printer issue seems to be a known thing so he found a work around and printed the labels in blue. He's so smart. 

I did the dishes and now I am just laying in the studio. I think I am going to go take a shower and get in bed. I am really hoping I can get easier sleep tonight. Dasia isnt going to be in tomorrow, so I will be alone with the kids. Which is fine, she is mostly just another set of eyes in the room. I wonder if the three new kids will be nice? I hope so. 

I also hope you all have a good night. Please keep washing your hands. And try to stay in. I know our government hasnt made it easy for us and hasnt set a good example. But we got to do our best. 

Sleep well you guys.

[massivedrickhead]

Home: Chapter 5/8

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I do not own Pitch Perfect or Harry Potter of any of their characters

Fifth Year

It went on and on.

His attacks getting more and more furious, her countering becoming clumsy and tired.

She wondered if she should just give up. If she'd known what he was casting, she might have done. It was the not knowing that kept her on her feet and throwing back defensive spells. Not knowing what his spells would do to her.

"You're on the wrong side, Beca," he yelled, speaking to her finally.

Beca just shook her head, too exhausted to speak.

"You can't win. The Potter boy will die. All of you will die." The curses kept flying. "Stop now and he'll let you live."

Beca took the opportunity to send a stunning spell at him but he deflected it with ease.

He shook his head, disappointed.

"You're on the wrong side," he said, raising his arm to attack again.

Beca toyed with the bacon on her plate one Friday morning, staring down at it without much desire to eat.

Hogwarts had gotten significantly less fun this year, and that wasn't just because it was their fifth year so they had to study for their O.W.L.s.

The mood around the castle had changed. There had never been such a divide amongst the students and even some professors as there was now. There were the people who believed Harry Potter. Who believed Voldemort was back. Believed he was the one who'd killed Cedric, and had tried to kill Harry too.

There were those who believed the Daily Prophet. Who believed Harry was an attention seeking liar.

Then there were those like Malfoy who knew He was back because of who their parents were, but were happy to support the rumours spread by the Daily Prophet.

And then there were those like Beca. Beca knew for a fact He was back, but she didn't take any joy in it like Malfoy or his other friends did. She knew because she'd seen the Dark Mark on her dad's arm, standing out sharply against his pale skin. She'd seen Death Eaters coming and going all summer. She'd seen them greeting her dad like an old friend. He'd asked her to keep out of his way for most of the summer, and she'd been only too happy to oblige.

Beca was snapped out of her thoughts by the impatient looking owl standing before her, nipping her hand with its beak.

"Ow," she said, snatching her hand back. The owl hooted and held out its leg. "Sorry."

She took the paper and unfolded it as the owl took flight.

'Same time, same place?'

She recognised Chloe's handwriting immediately, and she smiled. She looked across the Great Hall to the Hufflepuff table where Chloe was sitting. As if she'd been waiting for her, Chloe looked up. Beca nodded, and Chloe smiled before looking back down at the newspaper in her hand.

There was one good thing so far about fifth year.

Beca and Chloe had started dating. Secretly.

After their kiss at the Yule Ball, they had met up a few more times, just the two of them. But with their classes, homework, and the excitement of the Triwizard Tournament, they hadn't really had much of a chance to spend time together.

They'd written to each other constantly over the summer, both frustrated that they had to wait days to get a response, but with each letter they grew closer together.

So, upon their return to Hogwarts, Beca and Chloe decided to date in secret. Beca was too afraid of her dad finding out for them to be open about it, so they would sneak around whenever and wherever they could.

For the past few weeks they'd been meeting in the grounds just outside the castle. It was the same place they'd shared their first kiss, and they found they could use a secret passageway which lead them outside to get to it. The hard part was getting from their dormitories to the passageway itself, but once they were through and outside it was harder for them to get caught. Teachers didn't patrol the grounds as often as they did the inside of the castle, and they'd managed to find themselves a bit of a blind spot.

Beca had to admit that all their sneaking around and walking the castle and grounds at night made her feel sick and anxious, and Chloe would have agreed if they'd discussed it, but they didn't see another way. Beca didn't want to think what would happen when they were eventually caught, but the alternative meant not seeing Chloe at all.

The Hufflepuffs and Slytherins only had Care of Magical Creatures together, and Flitwick had been made to disband the choir after Umbridge refused to give them permission to reform. They weren't able to visit each other's house common room, or even see each other between classes due to heightened security.

They tried on one occasion to sit together in the library and talk quietly, but every time they opened their mouths they were loudly shushed by Madam Pince, so the whole thing was pointless.

So they snuck around after hours, and prayed they wouldn't get caught.

That night, Beca sat in the gloomy green light of the common room, watching the time tick by on her watch.

"You're going to get caught one of these days you know?" Stacie said, not looking up from her book. They were the only two left in the common room, which wasn't unusual at this time, but Beca was still thankful for it. It was much easier sneaking out without a room of prying eyes.

"Yeah, I know," Beca said rubbing her eyes. She was tired. It was the third time this week they were doing this, and Beca hadn't been sleeping well. "We just don't know what else to do."

"You could try not being randy teenagers?" Stacie said.

"It isn't like that," Beca said, blushing furiously. "We just talk most nights. She just… She gets me, you know? She's like… She feels like home."

Stacie softened. "I'm not trying to ruin these late night dates. I actually think they're super cute. I just don't want you to get caught. Especially with Umbridge doing these crazy detentions."

"I know," Beca said. "This whole situation is far from ideal." She looked at her watch. "I gotta go."

"Be careful," Stacie said, looking up as Beca left the common room.

It was a quick journey to the entrance of the passageway, and Beca made it without running into anyone. She slipped behind a tapestry, tapped a loose stone three times with her wand, and crawled on her hands and knees down the short passageway which was revealed when the stones parted. She tapped the stone wall at the other end three times and again, the stones parted to let her out before sealing shut behind her. Sometimes it felt like the castle really was encouraging them to break rules.

When the cold air hit her face she felt calmer. She kept to the shadows and made her way to the place where Chloe was meeting her.

She was the first to arrive and she sat on the grass with her back pressed into the wall, and she waited.

Soon she heard the slight grinding noise of the wall opening, and she braced herself. Either Chloe or a professor would be turning the corner at any moment, and she wouldn't know which one until it was too late.

A shadowy figure emerged and got closer and closer, and then they were right in front of her. Beca saw the red hair and blue eyes which were just visible in the moonlight and she felt herself relax. Chloe sat down beside Beca and they hugged without saying a word.

Their tight embrace quickly lead to a kiss. Beca's hands were in Chloe's hair, holding her close as if afraid she might be snatched away at any moment. When they stopped kissing they rested their foreheads together, eyes closed but smiling. Both breathing heavily.

"Hi," Beca whispered.

"Hi," was Chloe's whispered reply.

And they leaned in to kiss again.

"What on Earth do you think you're doing?!" A shrill voice demanded, the light from their wand falling over them.

Beca's stomach sank like a stone.

Professor McGonagall was standing in front of them, her mouth open in shock, her wand held above her, showering them in light.

There was nothing they could do, or say.

"Come with me, both of you!" She snapped, and all they could do was follow.

Chloe had started sniffing on the way to McGonagall's office, and Beca reached out to take her hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Chloe took it, and used her other hand to wipe her eyes. "Me too," she whispered back.

"In here!" McGonagall said. She saw the two girls holding hands and seemed to soften ever so slightly. "Sit down."

They did.

Professor McGonagall sat behind her desk and folded her arms. "Well?"

Beca glanced over at Chloe who seemed incapable of forming words. So, her eyes fixed on her knees, Beca started talking.

"I know we shouldn't have professor," Beca said once she'd finished her explanation. "We just… We didn't know what to do."

"Is all of this true Miss Beale?" McGonagall asked.

Chloe nodded and sniffed again, wiping her eyes.

"Anything to add?"

"Just that we're sorry, professor," Chloe said.

McGonagall sighed. "I'm disappointed in you ladies. I had thought that you were both smart enough to know that sneaking around the school and into the grounds after hours is an incredibly foolish thing to do. Especially in these times where we have dangerous wizards and witches out there, and… and even in this castle."

They both looked up.

"If you had been caught by a… a different teacher then this could have been much more serious. Not that it's not serious now, because it is. Very serious. That being said," she cleared her throat slightly. Beca and Chloe desperately wanted to glance at each other, to confirm what they were both thinking, that the professor was acting… weird. But they didn't dare look away from her, and McGonagall carried on talking. "That being said," she repeated, "I cannot pretend that I don't understand why you did it. I was once in a similar position myself… And, well, those were different times, it wasn't even legal then, but what I'm trying to say is I understand. And I am sorry that you have not felt comfortable or safe enough to be yourselves at this school."

"It's not the school's fault professor," Beca said, finally glancing at Chloe, "it's my dad. If he found out about me and Chloe he…" Her voice cracked and Chloe reached across and took her hand. "He can't find out professor. Please."

"And he won't. Not from me, not because of this," McGonagall said, gently.

"Thank you," Beca said, sinking into her chair with relief.

"In terms of your punishment," McGonagall said, trying to regain some of her stern composure, "I will be taking 50 points from both Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and you will each receive a week's detention."

"Yes professor," Beca said, thinking they'd gotten off lightly.

"Thank you professor," Chloe said, thinking the same thing.

"Before you return to your dormitories I must press upon you the importance of not doing this again. We are living in dark and troubling times and it is not safe to do what you're doing," McGonagall said.

"We won't do it again," Chloe said.

"We promise," Beca added.

And McGonagall surprised them both by smiling, just slightly. "Miss Beale, if I could offer some advice, you may wish to speak to your head of house professor Sprout. If I'm not mistaken she has been happily married to her wife Rosalyn for 20 years. I believe she may be able to offer you some wise counsel. I am afraid I cannot say the same for you Miss Mitchell, however my door is always open should you wish to talk."

"Thank you," Beca said again. "I mean it, thank you professor. I'm sorry we let you down."

"Very well. I shall send you the dates and times of your detentions on Monday. Now, off to bed please, both of you. Separate beds if you would be so kind," McGonagall said.

"Ahem, ahem," a voice said from the doorway, making them all jump.

They turned to see Professor Umbridge standing there, smiling sweetly, her hair up in pink rollers.

"Can I help you Dolores?" McGonagall asked. Her voice lost all the warmth it had moments ago.

"I was just checking that these two are receiving the appropriate punishment for sneaking around school after hours," she said. Her voice was light and airy but it filled Beca full of dread.

"There punishment has been decided thank you very much," McGonagall said. "Girls, off to bed please."

"Just one moment," Umbridge said, her voice rising slightly higher. "I don't believe a week's worth of detention is suitable punishment, do you? After all, this isn't the first offence, is it? According to young Draco Malfoy, and some of the other Slytherins, you've been out and about quite a bit, haven't you Miss Mitchell?"

Beca glanced up at Professor McGonagall, but she wasn't looking at her. She was staring at Umbridge with such undisguised fury and hatred Beca was amazed Umbridge could carry on smiling.

"Yes, professor," Beca said.

"And did you join her on these occasions Miss Beale?"

"No," Beca said, quickly. "No, tonight was the first time. I was on my own before. Just looking for places to meet."

"Well, in that case Miss Beale you may keep your current punishment of a week's detention with Professor McGonagall, as this was your first offence," Umbridge said, before turning to face Beca. "Now you, Miss Mitchell, will need something more severe. I think two weeks of detention with me for a start. And perhaps an Owl home to your father? I know him quite well, and I know he'd appreciate this kind of information."

"No," Professor McGonagall said, sharply. "You are not her head of house, and you were not involved in catching her breaking any rules. If Professor Snape is unhappy with the punishment I've decided on then he may discuss it with me. This has nothing to do with you, Dolores."

"Oh but I think you'll find it has, Minerva. There's been a new educational decree, you see. And I am now Hogwarts High Inquisitor, which gives me more powers than a simple teacher or head of house would have," Umbridge said, her voice as sickly sweet as it was possible to be.

"Professor," Beca said, looking up at McGonagall, tears filling her eyes now, "please don't let her do this."

"Professor McGonagall has no power here, Miss Mitchell," Umbridge said, her voice suddenly sharp. "Let's make it three weeks of detention, shall we?"

Beca swallowed hard. Chloe opened her mouth to argue but Beca shook her head.

"Very well," McGonagall said. "You've made your point. May I escort these two back to their dormitories?"

Umbridge smiled. "Very good, Professor."

"Come with me, you two," McGonagall said, her voice shaking with suppressed anger.

They didn't speak again as they walked the silent corridors and of the deserted school. They stopped off at the Hufflepuff common room first, and McGonagall allowed them to say a quick goodnight.

"Thank you for lying to her like that," Chloe said softly, squeezing Beca into a tight hug. "It's going to be okay, you know? We'll think of something."

Beca nodded and tried to smile. "Night Chloe."

"Goodnight."

McGonagall then walked Beca down towards the Slytherin dungeons.

"I'm going to do all I can, Miss Mitchell," she said. "I promise you that."

"It's okay, professor. I imagine she'll have sent the Owl before she even spoke to us. Whatever happens I'll just have to handle it," Beca said, feeling tired and emotionally drained.

"If I have to go to the headmaster about this, I will," McGonagall said as they reached the entrance to the common room.

Beca smiled and shook her head. "I think he has enough to be dealing with professor. Voldemort is back, you know? There's a war coming. I'm sorry we dragged you into this. Thank you for your help," Beca said. "Goodnight."

McGonagall's hand touched Beca's arm lightly. "I will help you in anyway I can," she said softly. "I promise you that."

And then she turned and left.

Beca spent the next few days on edge, waiting for a response from her father. It was the not knowing that was killing her. Not knowing if he knew, not knowing how or when he would respond. It was tying her stomach in knots. Her heart beat painfully fast every time the post arrived. She felt the rush of relief when nothing was delivered to her, which was quickly followed by the punch in the stomach of knowing it had to come soon.

Detention with Umbridge was almost a welcome distraction.

And it wasn't that she particularly enjoyed carving 'I must obey school rules' over and over again into the back of her hand, but the pain at least gave her something to focus on.

Chloe had been beside herself the first time she'd seen the scars on Beca's hand.

"Is that what she's making you do?! Write lines with your own blood?! She's sick! There's something wrong with her, tell-"

"Hey," Beca had said softly, "it's okay. Professor Snape has given me something to stop the pain, I just need to soak it in Murtlap essence." Chloe opened her mouth to argue, but Beca cut her off. "I know it's really fucked up. But I can deal with this, okay?"

"Okay," Chloe said with a sigh. "But I really don't like this. She shouldn't be able to get away with it."

"I know," Beca said. "But this is just how it is for now. She won't be here forever, the other teachers will see to that if Fred and George don't do it first."

But as calm and composed as Beca was trying to seem in front of Chloe, inside she was falling apart.

The pain in her hand was horrendous, but it was nothing compared to the constant anxiety of not knowing when the reaction from her dad would come.

After two weeks of detention, with the letters on the back of her hand now refusing to heal, a howler arrived for Beca.

"Just get it over with," Stacie said as the smoking red envelope quivered in front of her.

With a trembling hand Beca opened the envelope and soon the screaming voice of her father echoed around the Great Hall.

He told her that she was a disgrace, that she was disgusting, that she was better off dead like her mother.

Some Slytherins around her began laughing, but most of the Great Hall was silent. If she'd looked at the head table she would have seen Umbridge smiling serenely, and McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout staring at Umbridge with cold fury. Through the tears in her eyes Beca saw Chloe get up off her seat and make her way over. Stacie had taken her un-cut hand and was squeezing it tightly, as the howler went on and on and -

"Reducto!"

It was gone. Turned into smoke and ash.

Professor McGonagall was standing close to where the howler had been, her wand raised. "That's quite enough of that nonsense," she said. She turned to Chloe who had just arrived at the Slytherin table. "Miss Beale, perhaps you would like to take Miss Mitchell outside for some fresh air on this lovely Saturday morning?"

"Yes professor," Chloe said. She gently took Beca's hand. "Come on," she said softly.

Beca stood and allowed Chloe to lead her out of the Great Hall. She could feel the hundreds of pairs of eyes burning into her back, but she didn't care anymore. She just wanted it to stop. She wanted everything to stop.

"It's okay," Chloe said, her voice still calm and soft. They walked towards the lake and soon they were sat on the grass, Beca wrapped protectively in Chloe's arms. "It's okay, we'll think of something. I won't let him hurt you, I promise."

And Beca was too tired to argue. Too tired to point out that her dad was a powerful dark wizard. Too tired to remind her that he was stronger than any of them. That he could do what he wanted. She was too tired.

So just closed her eyes, and let Chloe hold her. She focused on Chloe's calming words and tried not to think about what would happen when summer arrived, and she would have to go home.

[xjoiexgabriel]

Welcome Back

Who: Gabriel Beiste & @joieagilbert

When: Oct. 2

Where: Beiste Dorms

What: Gabe and Addison reconnect and Gabe finds out something that will change his life. 

Gabe couldn't believe that Addison was back. It had been over a year since he had seen her and he was excited to see her again. Coming to her place, Gabe knocked and waited for additional to open the door for him.

Addison was nervous to see Gabe, she knew she had to tell him and had managed to avoid this confrontation for half a semester now but no longer could she keep this a secret, it wasn't fair to Gabe to hide this. Telling Gabe would also mean she didn't have to hide it from the rest of the student body, only her very closest friends knew and some days that was hard because all she wanted to do sometimes was talk about her son. Addi gave a big sigh heading to open the door, "Hi Gabe" she smiled, it was so good to see her friend again.

Gabe smiled back to her, pulling the other into a hug. He was so happy to see her once more. "Hey, Addi. Its really nice to see you again, how you been?" Stepping into her place and giving it a glance for a moment. He wasn't sure why she had left but now she was here and he was going to ask her but it felt more right to ease into the topic.

Addi let Gabe pull her into a hug, it felt so good to be back in his arms, she had missed her friend, their friends with benefits thing had been fun but she really did value his friendship the most. "It's so good to see you too Gabe, I've been good- tired but good," She smiled and lead him over to sit where she had a squishy couch and TV set up. "It's not quite the sorority house but you know I really wanted to RA and I got the chance so I had to move here," She shrugged, she missed her sisters at the sorority but this was something that meant a lot to her."How have things been for you? I saw your games you've been kicking ass and taking names."

"I mean, i couldnt think of anyone better to RA in my dad's dorms so I'm good with it." he teased as it was the Beiste Dorms. Sitting with her, he shrugged. "They've been going, had some drama but things are getting better and yeah, still dominating the game and enjoying every moment. But what have you been up to?"

"I'm glad you approve, you know I just want to mother everyone." She teased back. "What kind of drama?" Addi looked at him with worry on her face. She would always worry about her friends, and Gabe had an even more special place in her heart now. "Been trying to get back into the swing of college, last year was kind of crazy, some big stuff happened..." She trailed off not meeting his eyes, unsure how to tell him.

"I know you do and you're very good at it. You're going to be a best mom one day." Gabe nodding with a certainty in his eyes. When she asked about what happened. "I let myself feel for someone and got burned. Doesn't mean I wont let it happen again, just yeah. Gotta learn to know the person better, I guess." he shrugged. "OH? What big stuff?" His brow knitting together a bit.

The playfulness fell from he face at that comment, "I really hope so." Addi bit her lip,  obviously Gabe had managed to hit on one of her biggest worries, was she a good mom to Myles, she wanted to do the best she possibly could for him. "I'm so sorry Gabe, I know you don't fall easily." She leaned over and gave her friend a tight hug. Addi took one of Gabe's hands, focusing all of her attention playing with his fingers between hers, it was an easy comfortable gesture, something she had done a thousand times before and it worked to calm her. "I don't really know how to say this," she closed her eyes,  her stomach was in knots, "after the last time we slept together do you remember the condom broke and I told you not to worry because I had Plan B?" she took a deep breath, focusing on Gabe's face now, "well it didn't work..."

Gabe hugged her back, "I know you are and you're a good friend as well." Pulling from the hug, he felt her playing with his hands. He knew it was a gesture she did when she was nervous. He listened to her talk then his jaw fell open. Did he hear that right? Was she saying what he thought she was? "Okay...so what are you saying, Addi?" His voice light and wondering a lot of things.

Addi was silent for a few moments that felt like an eternity as she wracked her brain for the right words. "Got pregnant Gabe.." She said quietly, reaching for her phone from her pocket and opening up her photo gallery, she had hundreds of photos spanning the less than nine months since Myles was born. She pulled up a photo she had taken at the weekend when she had captured him pulling a face that made him look identical to Gabe, she handed him the phone, still biting her lip nervously, wondering what he was going to say.

Gabe sat there, in a sort of shock. He looked at each photo and the last one told him so much, he knew. That was his child. Taking her phone as she offered it, he looked through them all and felt tears well in his eyes. "Is he...is he here? Can i see him? Whats his name? I'm  a dad?" he chewed his lip a bit.(edited)

Addi silently watched Gabe flick through the photos, she didn't know how she had ever doubted her friend, but she was so relived he wasn't angry at her. "His name is Myles Lucas Beiste, he's going to be nine months old on the eighteenth." She took the phone and scanned through the photos until she found the one of the day he was born, where she was holding Myles in her arms for the first time and showing Gabe. "He's with my parents in Akron, I go home every weekend to be with him until he's old enough to go to the daycare on campus then we will figure something else out so he can be here I miss him a lot but I can't afford my own place." She shrugged, she was used to making the best of any situation and right now having Myles stay with her parents was the best way for her to be able to finish college because she needed to live in the dorms to be able to afford college.

Gabe looked at the picture then looked back to her. "No...he needs to be here. I can help you get a place but Addi, i want him here and I'll help you. We can make this work...he's my child too and he needs to be with us and raised by us not anyone else." He knew he was  quick to jump in but he wasn't ever going to be okay with someone else raising his kid.

"I'm not telling you about him because I want money, Gabe," Addi would admit she was not good at accepting help. "What are we going to do when we have class, or clubs or sports? I'd rather he be with my parents than strangers all day." Addi's voice caught in her throat with a sob. "I want to do the best for him, I want to finish school so I can provide for him not that I don't appreciated all my parents did for me I know they loved me but getting a job at 14 and working through high school was tough I want him to be able to have fun not worry and you know how much becoming a doctor means to me..." Thinking about the future was so overwhelming to Addi.

Gabe shook his head. "Addi I'm doing it because I want to and I'm sorry but we'll make it work. My classes are not normal classes and professors here are more then willing to make things work. I'm not going to agree to this. Addison I have missed 9 months of his life, I missed all the big first in the first year. I'm not missing a moment more. We can do this and he won't be raised by strangers." His tone though told it all, he wouldn't budge on this. "We're getting him this friday and he's staying with us on campus. Also he can go to the daycare now, they can go at 6 weeks old but it wont be needed. Please dont make me miss more time with him. He's going to live with us

Addison sighed, she knew Gabe, she knew once he set his mind to something there was no changing it. "You realize Friday is two days from now and we don't have anything we need here to take care of him. We still have another week of midterms and-" Addi shook her head. She knew keeping this huge secret from Gabe was the worst thing she had done and right now she would do anything to make sure he would be in his sons life.

"My mid terms are over. " Gabe told her. "I finished them this week and yes I know it's not a lot of time but you'd be amazed what Amazon Prime can do. So Friday, we are going to get him. Can you let your parents know to have everything ready for us? " He was set there was no changing his mind. "We will make this work, it will work. "

"Do you still live at the Frat house? I don't want him living at the Frat house Gabe." Addi responded with a worried tone, she was feeling so overwhelmed by Gabe's response but at least he wasn't angry or upset which is what she had been worried about. "I'll call them and we can set it up, but I want both to talk to our professors before then I want to know they will be flexible and supportive with whatever we need, and I'm going to have to figure out something for my RA duties I can't just walk away from that."

"I'm not going to leave the frat and it's not like it was before. I'm the president now. We don't party, we just all hang out. I know what mine will say, there is girl in my classes who brings her child everyday. They don't mind. You figure that out, Addison you have to trust me in all this. You owe me that. "

"I get that it's important to you Gabe, but a Frat house is no place for a baby, this is why he's better at my parents because there are parts of our college life that will be so much harder and we both need to finish school" Addi sighed, there was no way she was giving into this. "I know I owe you, I can't even explain how sorry I am but we have to do this the right way not just leap in blind."

For the first time, Gabe was getting upset now. "Addison. He's coming here. That's it. I'm done doing this, done looking for excuses. He's my son and he will live where I can see him whenever I want and with his parents. My dad did it all by himself with two kids after being abused. You can't guarantee that when you're not there that they're raising him the way you want or they're not talking shit on me. Addison. I'm done. Friday he's coming here. "

Addi looked away from Gabe's face, trying not to let herself get too upset. "Okay we let's try it, if you really think this is the best option and you really think we can do it let's try, but I don't want him near parties or drugs or alcohol and I don't want your flings around him, I don't want people flitting in and out of his life." Addison responded with a firm tone. It wasn't that she thought Gabe would ever be a bad father but she wanted to impress upon him how much he'd have to beware of what he was doing and what was happening around him.

"No more flings. I promise you and the boys will all know that the house is a baby safe zone. No drugs or alcohol. Well maybe beer but you know what I mean. " Signing some and running his fingers through his hair. "Thank you for this.... Sorry I got upset. I just... I want to do this right. I want to be a good father for my children and honestly, I'm glad you're his mother. " Taking her hand. "I don't think he could have a better mom. "

"Okay." Addi nodded, breathing a sigh of relief, she was impressed at how quickly Gabe was seeing what he needed to do. She knew he was a good person but most often saw his fun and playful side, a smile grew on her face at how strongly he was fighting for his son. "It's okay Gabe, I'm sorry for keeping this from you, I've just been so scared, this past eighteen months have been so hard for me I didn't know what to do." She squeezed Gabe's hand, "I'm glad your his father, I tell him about you all the time, he's going to love you I know it." Addi gave him a warm smile, leaning her head on his shoulder, happy to have her friend by her side.

[trashboiiz]

Don’t Give Up (Trevor x Reader)

(A/N: This is for @literalslutfortrevor . Sorry if somethings are incorrect or too personal, I was trying to make this lil fic special for you. Hope you feel better <3)

Ever since you and Trevor started dating, you feel like life has never been better. He's taken you on dates, introduced you to the guys, bought you flowers, bought you food (the only way to a person’s heart). But lately, the high of love has faltered. Obviously you love Trevor with all your heart and wouldn’t trade him for the world, yet you’re not excited to go out anymore, don’t care about hanging with him and his friends, don’t want to leave the house. You can’t put your finger on why you exactly feel this way; Trevor was all you could ever ask for, someone to take away your loneliness and fill you with love. For so long you’ve wished for someone like him, so long. And now you have him. But it doesn’t feel right.

It's been another long day at Cow Chop, like always. Trevor keeps himself sane by texting you throughout the day but today, for some reason, you weren’t responding. It didn’t faze him that much, you’ve seemed tired lately so he assumed you were asleep, but it was Friday; the day you set aside for your weekly movie night which just gives Trevor an excuse to cuddle you. Either way, he still needed your input on what movie to watch: zombie cheerleaders 2 or attack of the vampire dachshunds. Trevor was leaning towards the dog movie of course, who couldn't say no to a cute little dog? However, he always sided with your decision, because you came first in his mind.  

Trevor stretched as he saved his last video of the day. He was one of the last ones there, other than Aleks, Asher, and Jakob, the last two waiting for Trevor to finish so they could drive home together.

“You finally done?” Asher asks, looking up from his card game with Jakob.

“Yep” Trevor answers, “but Y/N hasn’t answered me yet”

“She’s probably asleep” Jakob yawns, “like I want to be, right now”

Trevor looks at his phone worriedly, knowing you’d never want to miss a movie night. He sends another message before packing his stuff up.

“Bye Aleks, see ya tomorrow” Trevor yells, “love you”

Aleks groans “Yeah, yeah. Tell Y/N I say hi”

Jakob and Trevor follow Asher to his car where they all pile in. Trevor checks his phone constantly, waiting for your text. Every minute that passes brings him down, causing him to question if he did something wrong.

“Y/N hasn’t answered yet?” Asher glances at his mirror to see Trevor’s face.

“Not yet” Trevor sighs.

Then, as Trevor was giving up hope, his phone lit up: a message from Y/N. He scrambles to unlock his phone and view the message.

I don’t feel well. sorry trev.

Trevor is disheartened; this is the fourth time you’ve said this to him in the past two weeks. Sure, maybe you were sick, but Trevor knew it was something else.

come on Y/N, we can watch at your house if you want

No. You know you can’t come over.

The last time Trevor showed up unannounced he wasn’t let in and he could hear yelling after the door was slammed in his face. He didn’t want a reoccurrence.

we can pick you up, we’re nearby

We?

Me, Asher and Jakob

I dunno, I’m really tired.

You can sleep over at my place. i’ll make sure its quiet and no one annoys you

Ok fine. Pick me up.

“WE’RE GOING TO Y/N’S HOUSE!” Trevor screams, causing Asher to slam on the breaks.

“Holy fuckin heck, Trevor” Asher catches his breath, “I should kick you out right now”

“We gotta get Y/N, Asher” Trevor looks at him with puppy dog eyes, “please?”

Asher sighs, “Yeah, whatever. I still got to get to my own home you know.”

Asher makes a U-turn and drives towards your house. After 20 minutes the car comes to a halt and Trevor jumps out. You walk out the door quietly and motion for Trevor to get back in the car as you worry your dad will see him.

“Trevor, he can’t see you’re here” You whisper as you slide into the back seat next to your boyfriend, “and I’ll be dead if he sees me leave without saying where I’m going”

Trevor frowns, “Sorry Y/N. I forgot.”

He offers his arms for you to snuggle into but you slump down into your seat instead. Trevor leans against the window and watches the lights flicker as they drive by. Every once in awhile he looked at you, staring out the window as well, quiet and somber. He wants to hold you so badly, shield you from your problems and kiss you better, but he knows he can't. You all sit in silence until the car arrives at Trevor and Jakob’s place.

“Thanks Asher” Trevor says as he exits the car, “see ya tomorrow for another super great day!”

Asher groans, “yep”

You and Jakob thank Asher for the ride before he drives off towards his own home.

“I'm going to sleep” Jakob announces after shutting the apartment door behind him, “night Trevor, night Y/N”.

“G’Night, Jakob” Trevor says as Jakob trudges into his room and closes the door.

Trevor looks away from Jakob’s room to see you already bundled in a blanket on the couch. You haven’t spoken much since they picked you up at your house, only to say thanks and to scold Trevor. Actually, you haven’t spoken much to anyone in a couple weeks; the effort wasn’t worth it.

Trevor grabs two bowls and spoons from the cupboard and a tub of ice cream from the freezer and walks over to join you on the couch.

“Take this” he shoves a bowl into your hands and begins scooping ice cream into it.

“I’m not hungry Trev” you whine, trying to put down the bowl.

“As a certified doctor, I am prescribing this to make you feel better” Trevor spoons another chunk of ice cream into your bowl.

You groan but don’t put up a fight; to be honest, you were a bit hungry and didn’t want to worry Trevor. He scoops some ice cream into his own bowl and obliterates it. By the time he finishes you have only eaten a few spoonfuls.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Trevor looks at you with his puppy dog eyes.

“I’m just a little sick, it’s ok” You lie.  

“Is it the movies I choose?”

You smile slightly, but soon return to your solemn expression. It may have taken weeks, but Trevor realizes that somethings troubling you. He notices the change in your demeanor from when you first met, excited and carefree, to passive and almost emotionless. Trevor has never been good at soothing others or alleviating their pain but he’ll try anything to make you feel better. Not before long, he sees your eyes tearing up and your hands begin to shake.

“Y/N…” he murmurs.

The sound of your name causes you to break down, overtaken by sobs that wrack your entire body fill the silent room.

“I’m so fucking done, Trevor” You cry

Trevor takes the bowl from your hands and places it on the coffee table then pulls your trembling body towards his. He wraps his arms around you as you snuggle your head into his chest. His slow and steady breathing help ground you, but your mind is still on fire.

“It’s just, It’s so difficult sometimes” you hiccup, “and I wonder if it’s all even worth it anymore”

Trevor’s stunned by your words; he never expected you to be in such a dark place. He wishes he could’ve known the signs, payed a little more attention, but he knew he’s too ignorant, too dumb to notice. Your tears soak his shirt and cries ring in his mind; how could he have been so stupid, how could he-

“Fuck, Y/N” Trevor squeezes you, “I didn’t know, I didn’t fucking know”

You feel tears on the top of your head causing you to look up and see Trevor’s eyes watering.

“Oh no, Trev I’m so-“

“Don’t fucking apologize Y/N” Trevor strokes your back, “If I wasn’t so goddamn stupid I could’ve done something sooner. I could’ve found someone to help you or tried to pay more attention or-”

“Shut up Trevor” You cover his mouth, “This isn’t about what you can and can’t do. It my mind, it’s my shitty situation and that can’t be fixed by a hug or sweet texts. Everything is complete shit right now and I hate it. I fucking hate it so much. I feel like I’ve tried everything I could, but it’s never enough. I don’t have the fucking resources to deal with this shit, you know? And sometimes I wish I could just be dead because then all this fucking shit would be over. I would be in peace for the first time in my fucking miserable life.”

“Y/N…I-I” Trevor stammers, not sure what to say.

“I might as well go. Sorry.” You stand up to leave but Trevor yanks you down again.

“Trev!” You yelp

“No Y/N, I can’t let you leave here until I know you’re better. You’re beautiful, smart, the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I don’t know what I’d do without you. This probably sounds selfish but I know you’re destined for amazing things. You can’t let go yet Y/N. I can’t let you go.”

Trevor kisses you; you can taste your tears on his lips. His kiss is sloppy and lonesome, longing and angry; you can sense his fear and passion, his want to understand your problems. He holds you tight, engulfing you in his arms. You feel protected.

“I love you Trevor” You mumble against his lips

“I love you more than you could ever imagine, Y/N” Trevor puts his head on your shoulder.

You sigh, hoping you could stay in this position forever, but you know you can’t.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” you ask, eyes still red.

“Of course, you can sleep here every night. Y/N, you could move in if you wanted.”

“I wish I could Trev, but I can’t just get up and leave”

“Y/N…”

“Maybe one day, one day soon.”

Trevor sits up and holds your face in his soft hands.

“I know I can’t always be there for you, and I fucking would if I could” Trevor wipes a tear from your face, “but I’ll always be a text or phone call away and I’ll never leave you unanswered.”

“Thanks Trev” You kiss him.

“I’ll even pick you up, where ever you are.”

“You don’t have a license”

“I’ll make Joe or Asher pick you up, but I’ll be in the car too.”

You chuckle, you’ve always loved Trevor’s humor.

“I’m tired Trev” You lean against him

Trevor picks you up and walks to his room, placing you down softly on the bed. He tucks you in then slides in next to you, his arm draped over you, holding your hand.

“We can talk more tomorrow, Y/N” He whispers, “I love you, I always will.”

“I love you too Trevor,” you mumble back, comforted by his body.

“Tomorrow will be better. Everything will be ok.”

And somehow, you trust him.

[muffindragon227]

I’ll Keep Your Secrets Safe - Ch. 19

AN: Who's ready for Mered's return? I certainly am.

Just a reminder that the next update will be Friday March 24th.

This chapter is dedicated to Apitatoor, your reviews always make me smile, as do our chats! Thanks so much for all the support and love. YOU ROCK!

                           Chapter 19: Hollaback (This Shit is Bananas)

Gray grunted, and eased the speaker down on its stand. He straightened and rubbed his shoulder before glancing at Lyon. "Please tell me this is the last time I've gotta move this thing."

Lyon shrugged, then smirked. "I'm pretty sure I've got it right this time, but I've still gotta test it. Why? You gettin' tired?"

"Just annoyed, you've had me move this thing twenty times already and I've still gotta help mom set up the tables in the dining room."

Lyon nodded, and crouched down to fiddle with the wiring on the back of the speaker. He was actually hoping this was the last time, especially since this was the first time Gray was complaining. "Sorry. Just trying to get the acoustics right. I don't wanna get my freak on to subpar sound, do you?"

Gray rolled his eyes and shot Lyon a reproachful look. "I ain't getting my freak on to anything, and I think you're just enjoying bossing me around."

Lyon placed his hand over his heart giving Gray his most over the top shocked face. "You wound me, what kind of brother would I be if I got enjoyment out of your suffering?"

Gray stared at him, frozen in place, with his mouth popped open.

Lyon quirked an eyebrow at him before realization dawned on him. Heat flushed along his neck.

"The typical kind," Ultear drawled, as she sauntered in from the kitchen. She was nursing a glass of wine and Lyon wondered if there was gonna be enough for the guests.

Leaving Ultear in charge of the bar seemed like a bad plan, but Lyon knew better than to point that out.

"I was told to let you know Juvia made snacks. I think she's hoping that if she feeds the two of you, you'll stop trying to sneak the real food," Ultear said, eyeing them.

Lyon bit his lip and Gray averted his gaze. They'd been chased out of, and then banned from, the kitchen when Juvia caught them sneaking chicken wings.

"We weren't sneaking anything." Gray huffed, and folded his arms across his chest. "We were sampling the wings to make sure they were suitable for the guests."

"I still can't believe you said that to her," Lyon hissed.

Gray shrugged. "It sounded reasonable at the time."

Lyon shook his head. "You really need to learn to think before you speak."

"So I've been told," Gray grumbled.

"Don't worry, he's bound to give up nagging eventually," Ultear said ruffling Gray's hair. "Now, come stuff your faces before Dad convinces Juvia to let you starve."

Gray and Lyon both paled before rushing past her towards the kitchen's back entrance.

Lyon was first and bumped into Juvia as she was coming out of the door frame.

"Oops, sorry," she said, sidestepping out of his way to let him through. "I was just coming to check on you. I figured you two would have rushed in here like the house was on fire at the mention of food."

Lyon chuckled, and slipped around her. He was ready to make a beeline to the counter, where he spotted a couple unwrapped platters, when Silver stepped in front of him.

"Ah ah ah," Silver said, wagging his finger.

Both Lyon and Juvia frowned in confusion.

Silver smirked then pointed to a spot above them.

Lyon and Juvia craned their heads upward and caught sight of the mistletoe hanging from the top of the doorway. Juvia flushed pink and Lyon smirked.

"You know the rules," Silver singsonged.

Lyon grinned down at Juvia, "You heard the man; it's the rules."

Juvia rolled her eyes. "You're incorrigible." But despite her disapproval she rolled onto the tip of her toes, leaned in, and planted a kiss on Lyon's cheek.

The action was met with with a chorus of disappointed awws.

Before anyone could say anything else Lyon wrapped an arm around Juvia's waist and pulled her back against him. He leaned forward and stole a quick kiss. Before Juvia could react Lyon released her and slipped around Silver, sauntering towards the food.

Juvia was left gaping after him.

Ultear let out a triumphant whoop and Silver clapped him on the shoulder as they joined him around the food.

Lyon snuck a glance back to where Juvia was left standing, only to find her staring nervously at Gray; who was frowning.

Lyon felt his stomach knot, and worried that he'd unintentionally created friction between them.

The feeling passed as Gray's face morphed into a small smile and he ushered Juvia back into the kitchen.

The doorbell echoed throughout the house. Lyon frowned and twisted in it's direction wondering who the hell was at the door. They still had a few hours left until the party and, as far as he knew, they hadn't ordered anything.

He was pretty much done with setup at this point. He'd been fiddling with the music playlist for the last twenty minutes to avoid being put to work, so he set the laptop aside and rose to answer the door.

"I got it!" Ultear called out as she whipped into the foyer and barrelled towards the front door.

He heard the door swing open before Ultear let out a pleased shriek. "Ahh! You're here!"

Lyon's frown deepened. Ultear was never that excited to see anyone.

He hurried to the front door, but came to an abrupt halt in the doorway of the family room, as he spotted a familiar face.

Mered caught sight of Lyon as Ultear released him from a hug, but before either could react a flurry of footsteps echoed through the house.

"Mered! It's so good to see you!" Ur called as she rushed down the hall to join them in the foyer.

Silver and Juvia weren't far behind and Gray entered from the living room.

"Thank you for coming over early! We could use the extra set of hands," Ur beamed as she wrapped Mered in a hug of her own.

Lyon stood there, mind racing a mile a minute as he tried to make sense of the picture in front of him. Only he couldn't. Somehow, Mered knew his family and was being greeted by them as if he was a regular in the house.

Silver chuckled and stepped up right behind Ur, trading places with her as soon as she stepped away. He wrapped Mered in a firm hug. "Good to see you kid. Hope school's been good."

"It has," Mered replied, pulling back from the hug.

Lyon felt like he was going to be sick. The entire argument from Wednesday came rushing back to him in a whole different context. Mered had been insistent on him coming out to his family, and now he was standing right there with them.

Gray flicked him a halfhearted wave, as he leaned against the door frame. "Hey man."

Mered rolled his eyes, but nodded at Gray in acknowledgement. "Yo, dude bro."

"Oh!" Ur exclaimed, turning to face Lyon. "You finally get to meet Lyon!"

She gestured for Lyon to come forward, but he hesitated. His eyes locked with Mered's and his heart hammered in his chest. Mered knew him, knew this was his family all along.

He swallowed hard. This was it. Mered was going to out him. Lyon took a step forward and felt like his legs might give out, but they didn't. Instead they managed to carry him to his mom's side. He felt Juvia's presence beside him, and when he stopped her hand found his.

"Mered, this is my son Lyon. I know I've talked your ear off about him, and you probably recognize him from all the pictures," Ur said. "Lyon this is Mered. He's your sister's little brother from the big sister program that she volunteered with while in college."

Lyon held his breath, his eyes hadn't left Mered's the entire time. He was somewhere between terrified and numb.

Finally, Mered smirked and held a hand out to him. "Hey, nice to finally get to meet you. Your mom and sister have talked about you so much I feel like we've already known each other for years."

Lyon could feel his entire body uncoil. He forced himself to take Mered's hand and shake it. "Uh... nice to meet you too." His words were stilted and he continued to stare awkwardly, even after Mered released his hand.

"And this," Ur continued with a smile, "is his girlfriend Juvia."

Mered's smirk fell from his face, and his brows furrowed as his gaze shifted from Lyon to Juvia and back again.

Lyon's stomach dropped, and he swallowed hard. A million excuses and apologies clawed their way up his throat and into his mouth, but he couldn't say a thing. His mind drifted back to their conversation on Wednesday.

"... It's all very coupley."

"There is nothing going on between Juvia and I. We are just really, stupidly close friends. Trust me…."

Small, delicate fingers slid between his. Lyon fought against the instinct to withdraw his hand and distance himself from Juvia; knowing she was just trying to comfort him.

Mered's eyes flickered down to their intertwined hands, and then back up to Lyon's. His face remained mostly neutral but Lyon could see the pain in his eyes.

Lyon didn't need to be telepathic to understand.

Liar. That was accusation in Mered's eyes.

Coward. Lyon's heart added.

"Nice to meet you," Juvia said, as she offered Mered her free hand.

"You too," Mered replied and took her hand giving it a brief shake. "Have you two been together long? They talk a lot about him, but no one ever mentioned he had a girlfriend."

Juvia let out a laugh and plastered a large smile on her face. "Actually, we've been together for a little over two years."

"I see," Mered said, through clenched teeth.

Ultear rested her hand on Mered's shoulder and fixed Juvia with a look. "Yeah, it's a little strange he never mentioned that before."

"Ultear! Don't stir up trouble for your brother," Ur said.

"It's fine, we all tend to omit little details, right?" Juvia replied, her eyes remaining locked on Mered.

Both he and Ultear tensed in response.

Lyon frowned, feeling like there was something he was missing.

Ur glanced between all of them before sighing, and shaking her head in resignation. "Alright, back to work, we've still got far too much to do. Gray, Silver, I need a hand moving the tables around in the dining room."

"I can help you Mom," Lyon offered, wanting to put some distance between him and Mered.

"Actually, I could use your help in the kitchen," Juvia said, while latching herself onto his arm.

"You want me in the kitchen?" Lyon asked, feeling like he'd fallen into the twilight zone.

Mered snorted.

Juvia blushed and gaped at Lyon, who tried his best not to laugh. He hadn't intended it that way but leave it to Mered to catch the innuendo.

"Oi, get your head out of the gutter," Gray snapped.

Mered shot him a look. "Yeesh, someone's got their boxers in a bunch."

Lyon cleared his throat, and fought back another snicker. "I really didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't," Mered said, voice laced with sarcasm.

Silver chuckled behind them and clapped Lyon on the back. "I think he's got you pegged already."

Mered suddenly let out a nervous laugh. "Ha, yeah, so um, what can I do to help?"

"You can head to the kitchen with Juvia and Lyon. Juvia needs some cookies iced and Ultear was still setting up the bar," Silver suggested, before ushering Gray into the living room. "We shouldn't be too long."

"Right," Mered said, looking quite put out about his assigned chore. Once Silver disappeared from view he sighed. "Let's get this over with."

Ultear placed a comforting hand on Mered's shoulder, and guided him towards the kitchen. She shot Lyon a hard look as she passed.

Lyon's gut twisted in discomfort. She'd been in a mood since Thursday night, and he was pretty sure he just figured out why. "This just got really messy didn't it?"

"Yeah, I think it did. Just follow my lead, 'kay?" Juvia said, and gave his arm a squeeze.

Lyon nodded, took a deep breath, and sent out a silent prayer, asking that he managed to get through the night.

"So you two met through a big sister mentoring program?" Juvia asked, glancing over at Mered and Ultear, who were busy shoving beer and pop cans into the coolers.

"Yep," Mered replied. He didn't even bother to spare her a glance, instead choosing to focus on the task at hand.

He'd been like that since they entered the kitchen, and Lyon couldn't help but feel frustrated. He wanted to talk to Mered, to reach out and try to at least smooth over a lot of the misunderstandings.

He also wanted to get an idea of whether Mered would out him to the rest of his family, and find out what Mered had told Ultear.

"That's interesting," Juvia mused, as she grabbed the next batch of cookies out of the oven. She set the baking sheet down on top of it, and began to slide the cookies onto the cooling racks.

Out of the corner of his eye, Lyon caught Mered tensing.

Mered finally stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her from over his shoulder. "Interesting?"

Lyon frowned and glanced back and forth between the two of them.

Juvia shrugged. "I'm familiar with the program."

"How?" Mered turned to face Juvia, and was openly glaring at her with his arms crossed.

"She's training to be an ECE," Ultear supplied. She'd stopped as well, and was eyeing Juvia and Mered warily.

"It was also a pretty popular program at Oaktown High. I volunteered for it during my last year at high school," Juvia said.

Mered sighed. "You got a point?"

Juvia stopped what she was doing and looked up, locking eyes with Mered. "I'm just curious how you two managed to be paired up, it's a bit of an unorthodox pairing for the BBBSP."

Lyon frowned. His mind recalling one of the few conversations he'd had with Ultear about the program. "Wait. Tear, didn't you say you were getting a little si- ow!"

Lyon winced and clutched his side, shooting a glare at Juvia.

She glared back at him, giving him a meaningful look.

He was about to complain, when everything clicked. He slammed his mouth shut and his eyes widened.

His gaze darted back to Mered, taking in the loose fitting sweater and cargo pants. He took in Mered's height, and remembered the baby faced profile picture from a year ago.

Lyon opened his mouth as a million questions battered about in his brain, but closed it just as quickly. He couldn't just ask things like that, it would be beyond rude.

He forced himself to take a slow breath. He tried to recall Mered's profile, and then their conversations, but his mind was coming up blank. Lyon felt like that would have been something he'd have made note of, but maybe he'd missed something?

He stole another glance towards Mered, taking him in. He could be wrong too.

Mered's gaze swept over both of them, before standing a little straighter and squaring his shoulders. "We were paired up before I started to transition. Ultear was actually the one to help me start."

Lyon felt like the whole world had come to a stop. The way Mered just came out and admitted to being transgendered left Lyon reeling. How could he throw something like that into casual conversation?

"You okay there? You look like you're about to shit a brick," Mered said.

"I'm fine," Lyon said, his voice coming out strangled.

Mered scoffed. "Clearly."

"You know, I figured you'd be the one person that I could count on not to freak out over this," Ultear chided, as she shot Lyon a dirty look.

"I said I'm fine," Lyon hissed. At least this time his voice was even. He took another deep breath. "It doesn't matter to me, but I mean- do Mom and Dad know?"

"Of course they know," Ultear said.

"Yeah, they've been pretty chill about it. Been pretty awesome about me being gay too," Mered added.

Lyon stared at him in disbelief, his stomach felt like lead. Mered was out to his family. He'd been out before they'd even met up, but never once had he said anything about it to Lyon.

"Even Gray's been good about it," Ultear said.

Mered pulled a face. "I don't know if I'd say he's been good. He's got a bad habit of calling me man every other sentence. It's a bit much."

Lyon blinked, taking in the complaint. His gaze darted towards Ultear, curious as to how she'd respond.

"Yeah, but that's just Gray being awkward," Ultear said.

Lyon glowered at here. There it was; Gray's get out of shit free card.

Lyon felt a mixture of sympathy and validation, as he watched frustration map it's way across Mered's face. He had been hearing that line for years now. Ever since Gray's outburst with Silver things had changed.

They'd been more lenient, eager to try and understand the motivations behind Gray's actions in an attempt to address the root of the problem. In the process, discipline seemed to get thrown out the window. Gray's behaviour and attitudes were excused as awkward, and rarely critiqued.

No matter how much Gray liked to tout that Lyon was their favourite, the fact was, Lyon could still get into trouble, he could still disappoint them. For the last seven years Gray had been free of all expectations, and Lyon let it go, telling himself they didn't know how it made him feel.

But now, watching Mered, he knew he'd been right. If he told them, nothing would change. No one would speak up for him. His own feelings and needs would get buried beneath the mountain of guilt his parents held onto.

"Yeah, whatever," Mered muttered, clearly as sick of the excuse as Lyon was, but equally unwilling to push the issue.

"No, not whatever. You should tell him how it makes you feel." Juvia's voice rang out, clear and full of conviction.

Lyon bit back a sarcastic response knowing it would only lead to a fight. If not with Juvia, then with Ultear.

"I don't think that's helpful. Gray's been trying really hard to be friendly and supportive. Chastising him isn't gonna do anything other than alienate him," Ultear said.

"Alienate who?" Gray asked as he strolled into the kitchen from the dining room.

There was a long pause as all of them turned to look at him, unsure of how to answer him.

"Ultear thinks that telling you, you're making Mered uncomfortable is gonna upset you," Juvia said, barely sparing him a glance, before continuing to ice the cookies in front of them.

Lyon shot her a look. This wasn't the time to start picking a fight, especially one Mered wasn't willing to pick for himself.

"What? How am I making him uncomfortable?" Gray asked, as his expression morphed into a frown.

"You keep referring to him as man," Juvia replied.

"No I don't."

Juvia glanced up from her baking and scowled at Gray. "You did it ten minutes ago, right when he walked in."

Gray open his mouth to protest, but stop, before scratching the back of his neck and shooting Mered a sheepish look. "Huh, I guess I did. Sorry man."

He pause for a second as Mered fixed him with a withering look.

"Fuck! I didn't mean to, I swear." Gray yanked at his hair in visible distress.

Mered sighed. "It's fine."

"No, it's not," Gray said, fixing Mered with a determined look, "I don't mean to, it's just... I guess it's just a thing I do. But if it bugs you, then I'll work on it. Just make sure to give me shit when I do it, cause otherwise I probably won't even notice."

"I think I can manage that," Mered said with a smirk.

Lyon stared at Gray in disbelief.

Two years ago that would have been a fight. Hell, four days ago it had been a fight. No matter how much Lyon hated to admit it, Gray was changing.

He'd come a long way from the fourteen year old boy that used to laugh at Bacchus' gay jokes. He was trying to make an effort, albeit a misguided one, with Mered, but the intent was there.

For the first time Lyon genuinely had to consider that maybe Juvia was right. Maybe it was time to at least try to give him a chance. Maybe Gray was trying to make changes, and he meant it when he said he wanted to fix things between them. That thought alone was enough to constrict Lyon's throat. He could feel his eyes prickle and start to water. It was ridiculous how much he still wanted that to be true.

Lyon took a deep breath and quickly wiped his eyes. No one else seemed to notice, save for Juvia, who simply gave his hand a quick squeeze.

"Oi, Gray, are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna come help ice these cookies," Lyon goaded.

"Right, umm, actually I was supposed to come ask if you'd help me grab a few more tables out of the overhead storage in the garage."

Lyon let out a bark of laughter. "Way to stay on task."

Gray rolled his eyes, annoyed at being picked on. He didn't snap back though.

"Let me wash my hands and I'll be right out to give you a hand," Lyon said.

Gray immediately perked up, his lips twitching upwards into the barest hint of a smile. "Thanks."

Lyon nodded and washed his hands, then turned and nudged Juvia. "Try not to stir any more pots while I'm gone."

"No promises."

Lyon glared at her.

"Fine, I'll try not to," Juvia said, putting emphasis on the word try.

Knowing that's the best he was gonna get, Lyon headed for the garage with Gray. He just had to trust her not to do or say anything rash.

Silence permeated the kitchen once Lyon and Gray left. Everyone continued about their tasks, but no one spoke.

Juvia occasionally stole glances at Mered and Ultear, but decided to head Lyon's advice for once and keep her mouth shut.

Ultear seemed to be lost in thought, and spent more time absentmindedly sipping her wine then she spent stocking the coolers.

Mered, on the other hand, was working as fast as he could and seemed to be avoiding everyone's gaze.

Juvia couldn't help but wonder if she'd made a mistake in calling Gray out. She thought it had worked out well enough, but nobody seemed particularly pleased about it.

"This one's full," Mered announced, finally breaking the silence.

Ultear blinked, then shook her head, before finally looking down at Mered. "Okay, let me get my boots and I'll help you carry it out to the back deck."

Juvia grabbed a nearby cloth and wiped her hands clean. "It's okay, I'll help him. I've got slippers on."

Ultear narrowed her eyes at Juvia. "Don't worry about it, you're busy. It'll take me two minutes to go get my boots."

"It's fine, I'm right here and it'll only take us a minute," Juvia said and stepped towards the cooler, reaching to grab the half closest to her.

"I said don't-"

"Ul, relax," Mered commanded, and reached down and grabbed the other handle. "We got it."

Ultear looked taken aback, then eyed the two of them warily, before slowly nodded her consent.

Juvia and Mered lifted the cooler and carried it past the island, before exiting the house through a set of sliding glass doors and out onto the deck. The cold air cut through Juvia's clothes, and seeped up through her slippers, causing her to shiver.

"Over here," Mered said, nodding to their left.

They set the cooler down by the side railing, and Juvia rubbed her hands over her arms. She was about to rush back into the warmth of the house, when Mered caught her eye.

He seemed anxious, and fidgety, two traits Juvia wouldn't normally associate with him, and so she paused, and met his gaze.

"You didn't have to do that," he said, and averted his eyes.

"No I didn't."

He looked up at her then, confusion mixed with a myriad of other emotions played on his face. "But you did, even though I was being a dick earlier."

Juvia shrugged. "I don't have to like you to respect you."

Mered's face fell, much the way it had earlier when Ur announced Juvia as Lyon's girlfriend.

Juvia wasn't stupid, she understood where Mered's earlier hostility had come from. It wasn't personal. "It's not even that I don't like you, personally. I just don't like the way things went down between you and Lyon. I think you handled it wrong, and you bailed before giving him a chance to explain anything."

Mered glared back at her. "I think he made his stance pretty clear."

"He panicked."

"Whatever. I don't care," Mered huffed, and stomped back towards the house. He came to an abrupt halt at the door and turned back to look over his shoulder, looking conflicted. "But thank you, for talking to Gray for me."

Juvia took a deep breath and tried to shelve her frustration. "You're welcome."

Mered was about to open the door when Juvia reached out, her hand landing on his shoulder. "If there's anything else like that you can tell me. You shouldn't just have your feelings dismissed like that."

Mered let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, I know."

"Oh! I've been meaning to ask," Ur began as Lyon followed Mered and Gray into the dining room arms filled with food. Juvia and Ultear were right behind them. "How was your date on Wednesday?"

Lyon felt his heart come to a crashing halt. His eyes whipped up to her only to find her staring at Mered instead. He forced a deep breath in, as a lump formed in his throat. This was going to be bad.

"Awful." Was Mered's one word reply, as he set the plate of brownies down.

"Oh? But you seemed so excited," Ur said with a frown.

"Yeah, what happened," Silver added.

Lyon set down the casserole dish he was holding, while watching Mered out of the corner of his eye. He knew he ought to go back to the kitchen and wait out this whole conversation. Nothing good was going to come from him standing there, and yet he was frozen in place, rearranging the dishes to avoid looking like he was listening in.

"Well, turns out he wasn't as out as his profile said he was. He totally hadn't told his family yet, and then, when I offered to help him come out he shut down and basically said he didn't have a reason to want to," Mered said.

That wasn't what he'd meant! Frustration bubbled up along with a million retorts that Lyon had no way of voicing.

"Really? What an awful thing to say to someone!" Ur said.

Lyon flinched.

"I know, right!" Mered said, throwing his arms up in the air. "I was out of there so fast. I'm so done with all this closeted bullshit."

"Well, now, I don't know about awful," Silver interjected. "You might have just caught him off guard, and who knows, a lot of people around here are pretty closed minded. He might have a good reason for not wanting to come out to his folks."

"I know his family, and they're pretty reasonable people," Ultear said, shooting Lyon a look. "I honestly don't know why he's still in the closet."

"Just because his family seems open minded doesn't mean he doesn't have a reason not to come out," Juvia protested. "Maybe he had a bad experience when he came out before."

"He seemed pretty comfortable when he talked about being out at school," Mered grumbled.

"That doesn't mean he always was. What if it wasn't his choice to come out? Or what if he went through some traumatic event in his childhood. Did you ask him why he was so reluctant?" Juvia said her eyes boring into Mered's

Mered averted his gaze. "No…."

Juvia let out a long sigh, and her eyes and voice softened. "Well, if you really like this guy, don't you think that you oughta try and have that conversation before writing him off?"

"Maybe," Mered mumbled.

"Don't you think he ought to have tried to have that conversation when Mered asked him to come out," Ultear countered.

Lyon's fingers closed into a fist and his nails bit into his palm. He couldn't believe he was stuck standing and listening to everyone else argue and weigh in on his date, and he couldn't say a damn thing.

"Of course he should have," Juvia said, folding her arms across her chest, "but that kinda requires the other person actually sticking around."

Ultear huffed. "Okay, fine. I'll give you that, but the whole potential childhood trauma is a bit much. I know people are a bit rough around the edges here, but it's not that bad."

"I beg to differ." Juvia scoffed and glared at Ultear. "I met some of Gray's old hockey friends on Monday, and there were insults and homophobic slurs being bandied about left, right and center."

"That's just boy's being boys," Silver said.

Lyon's nails bit even deeper into his hand. How many times had he heard that line?

Juvia bristled, and even Mered shifted from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable.

"See! This, this is what I'm talking about," Juvia hissed, gesturing at Silver as she glared at Ultear.

Silver blinked, eyes widening with the accusation.

Mered rolled his eyes. "Look there's always gonna be some assholes who say crap, that's just a part of life. You need thicker skin than that if you're gonna be out."

"Bullshit." Juvia snapped frowning at Mered. "You can't even tell Gray he makes you uncomfortable when he's doing it by accident. How the hell do you think you'd actually managed to speak up against someone who's actually being hostile?"

Lyon glanced about the room, fingers wringing together when he caught sight of his mom. Ur looked pissed, and it was only a matter of time before she ran out of patience.

He reached out and grabbed Juvia by the elbow, pulling her back towards him. "Juvia… breathe."

She frowned and tugged herself free. "No, I'm sorry, but I'm not standing here listening to this hypocrisy." She whirled around and locked eyes with Mered, jabbing a finger in his direction. "Not twenty minutes ago you were thanking me for standing up for you, when no one else would. Now you're trying to act like you can't see how no one having your back would potentially keep someone from wanting to come out?"

"That's enough Juvia," Ur snapped, standing at her full height.

Everyone else in the room shrunk back. Everyone but Juvia, who stood straighter and glared back defiantly.

"I think you're taking this conversation a little too personally, and I don't appreciate you attacking my husband, or implying that he's in some way homophobic because he doesn't condemn a bunch of young boys for behaving poorly," Ur said.

Juvia's jaw clenched and she continued to glare back at Ur, but she remained silent.

Lyon's heart hammered in his throat as he prayed she didn't lose her cool. Silver usually let jabs and angry comments roll off his shoulders. Years of being the main target of Gray's anger had made him patient, but Ur was used to running things, and when she did put her foot down God help anyone who tried to stand against her.

"But, she's right," Gray said, breaking the silence.

Everyone's heads whipped around to stare at him. He'd been absent for most of the fight, having retreated back into the kitchen, but clearly he'd still been able to hear it. He leaned against the doorway, taking in everyone in the room before returning his gaze to Ur.

"I mean, we're supposed to be this liberal family, but no one wanted to tell me that I was making Mered uncomfortable. None of you ever told me that saying that's gay might be offending people. Even my friends, who were actually offended by it, couldn't be bothered to speak up. And I get it; I'm hard to talk to, and you didn't want to put me off. But if I was gay and had to live with that day in and day out I'd have a hard time believing I was gonna be accepted."

Silence engulfed the room, as everyone glanced around at each other.

Lyon was certain he'd entered the twilight zone. Gray had never been that self aware, nor had he ever cared to try and put himself in someone else's shoes.

Lyon glanced at Juvia, she was staring at Gray, wide eyed and impressed. Finally she managed to drag her gaze back to Ur.

"That's what I've been trying to say. I don't mean it as an accusation, or anything like that. Just that, if you're considered progressive, then I could understand how someone who was gay would feel isolated." She wrapped her arms around herself, as everyone's scrutiny returned to her. "It's hard to find your voice in the face of adversity. Sometimes what you need, more than anything else, is to know you're not alone."

Ur took a deep breath. "I suppose that's a fair point, and perhaps that's something we do need to work on. You, however, could work on your tone. You're very quick to start flinging out accusations on matters that have nothing to do with you."

Juvia flinched, and her hands balled into fists. There was a beat of silence where Lyon was certain she was going to argue back. "You're right, I'm sorry."

Ur nodded, seemingly appeased for the moment. "And Mered, I'm sorry we haven't been all that supportive about addressing your concerns. We'll definitely work on that for you."

"Yeah, me and any potential future partners," Mered added.

Lyon stared at Mered wide eyed, and his heart skipped a beat, only for Mered to keep his gaze averted elsewhere.

"Okay, well now that that's all settled I just thought I'd remind you all we have guest showing up in less than an hour," Gray said.

Panic fluttered across everyone's faces and then, all at once, everyone was in a flurry of motion all over again.

Juvia was freaking out.

She'd been dashing back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room for the last twenty minutes, but her mind was anywhere but the task at hand.

He knew! Gray knew. She was sure of it.

Okay, so, not entirely sure, just mostly sure. It made sense though, it explained his erratic behaviour and all of those stupid digs that he made at Lyon's expense, despite saying he wanted to mend their relationship. He was trying to warn her.

Why he didn't just come out and tell her, she wasn't sure. In fact, it was all a little hazy, but she just… she knew.

Of course, she needed to talk to Lyon before she could do anything about it. Mostly to warn him, but also because if she was wrong this could blow up in her face, and well…. He'd end up having to deal with the consequences.

The only problem was finding a way to get him alone so she could actually talk to him, and that wasn't happening. Not with everyone in the family running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

She finally set the last platter down on the dining room table, and headed back to the kitchen. She was hoping against all hope that Lyon was still there doing dishes.

As luck would have it he was, and miraculously no one else was; not that it would last long enough for them to talk.

The doorbell echoed through the house, and she could hear Gray shouting he'd get it.

She took once last look around, and decided that this might be her only chance. She grabbed Lyon by the arm. "We need to talk."

She didn't wait for a response, and hauled him towards the back door, ignoring his protests.

It was freezing out on the back deck, but she ignored it, and pushed him back towards the far railing then huddled against him for warmth. Both of them shivered as the wind picked up, dusting them with snow.

"Jesus Juvia, what the hell? It's freezing out here," Lyon said through gritted teeth.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I need to tell you something."

"Okay, well I hope it's something fast 'cause we're gonna catch our deaths out here."

Juvia was about to reply, when the sound of the sliding door halted her words.

Lyon's head whipped up, and her fist curled around his shirt. A string of epithets ran through her mind.

"We found them!" A feminine voice called out. One that Juvia couldn't place.

Slowly she turned and found herself staring at a woman with long red hair.

She beamed at the two of them and strode forward excitedly. "Lyon! You finally came back!"

Juvia released Lyon and took a step back as the woman threw her arms around Lyon and yanked him into a hug.

From behind her a blue haired man appeared, and Juvia's eyes were drawn to the odd facial tattoo under his eye. Juvia forced her eyes back up to his, not wanting to be caught staring. She knew more than a few people who'd get offended by strangers eyeing them.

The blue haired man offered her a smile and crept out onto the back porch, arms wrapped around him for warmth. "Erza, I think you may want to ease up on that grip, he still needs to breathe."

The woman, Erza, promptly released Lyon from her hold, and offered him a sheepish grin. "Sorry, it's just been a while. We were starting to think you weren't coming back."

"Well, it's hard to trade sand and surf for the cold," Lyon said, smiling back at her.

The sliding door sounded again, as Gray pulled it closed and stepped out onto the deck with them.

"And you must be Juvia!" Erza exclaimed.

Juvia blinked in surprise, and turned to face Erza. "Yes," she wheezed, as she found herself wrapped up in a bone-crushing hug.

She had no idea how this woman knew who she was, and normally that would have been a concern. Except what Erza said next shocked her too much for her to care.

"Gray's told me all about you!"

[wayneooverton]

Where to wine, dine and caffeinate in Wellington, New Zealand

Well it’s finally upon us, the most magical time of the year in New Zealand – Wellington on a Plate.

Three weeks of food filled pandemonium has begun taking over the world’s coolest little capital, transforming it from a hipster cool hub to an even more hipster food-filled hub, complete with a burger competition.

Remind me a again why I moved from Wellington to Wanaka? Because it wasn’t for the food.

Why I love Wellington so much

Way back in the day (I’m talking 2013) when I first moved to New Zealand, I accidentally landed in Wellington and stayed for almost a year. It was never my plan to live in a city, but Wellington is one of those cities that doesn’t get on your nerve, well, except for the wind. It ain’t called Windy Welly for no reason after all.

Chill vibes, a cool creative scene, young folk, beautiful nature, small in size, kickass coffee, oh and did I mention the food? You can probably start to see why I stuck around.

Nowadays I regularly travel up to Wellington to see friends and for work, but no matter why I’m there, I always make time for good coffee, fab food, and great drinks.

Now everyone knows the classics like Fidel’s, Sweet Mother’s Kitchen, and of course, Memphis Belle, but I thought I’d go ahead and share some other fave foodie spots of mine in Wellington, some well known, some less known, all delicious and unique.

Here are my picks for my favorite spots of where to eat in Wellington. From my choice bars to restaurants and cafes, it was hard to narrow it down, but I’ve done my best. Enjoy.

1. Egmont Street Eatery

My favorite place to eat in Wellington is a recent discovery. A cool intimate space that was once a car park not so long ago, Egmont St Eatery is like something out of a food filled fantasy. Unique, beautiful dishes, amazing coffee, friendly people abound in a place that makes you want to sit down and stay a while.

In a country where so many cafes and restaurants offer variations of the same tired menu, occasionally throwing in an avocado toast dish to keep things modern (eye roll), Egmont St is paving the way in New Zealand for fresh exciting feeds.

While their brunch is all kinds of amazing (and the pastries – oh the pastries guys!) the dinner is equally fab.

And if you’re around for Wellington on a Plate this year, you gotta get their burger entry, which was my favorite by far. The Filet-O-Cray is a crumbed crayfish and squid, crayfish tartare, housemade cheese, steamed bun, served with pāua salt dusted shoestring fries HOLY CRAP YUM!

2. The Garage Project

Can’t talk about Wellington on a Plate and not mention The Garage Project in the Aro Valley. A grungy old petrol station turned brewery, the Garage Project is turning out experimental delicious beers faster than you pick a favorite.

Putting on the annual Burger on a Plate competition in conjunction with Wellington on a plate, and matching three surprise festival brews with them, Garage Project is all about innovation and creativity in the Wellington beer scene. Screw that, they ARE the Wellington beer scene.

You name it, they’ve brewed with it; pop into their Cellar Door at the old petrol station to try out some of their top beers, all with amazing labels with incredible designs, before moving up the road to the Taproom at 91 Aro for a more cozy vibe.

3. The Harbourside Market

I love a good city market Wellington doesn’t disappoint.

The Harbourside Market every Sunday morning next to Te Papa is a winner in every category. With fantastic and affordable local produce, live music, tons of people and a great vibe, it’s the place to be any weekend in Wellington.

The oldest and most popular market in Wellington, come hungry and be prepared to binge. All along the water there are stalls after stalls and food truck after food truck of every coffee, pastry, meal and dish you could imagine.

Two of my faves have to be Montfoort, Dutch street food and Dutch donuts and stroopwafels fried to order and of course, House of Dumplings – no explanation needed.

4. The Hippopotamus

FINALLY we have a QT hotel in New Zealand!

My favorite hotel chain in the whole wide world (and only in Australia before), these quirky and fabulous luxury hotels are right up my alley, and now they have one in New Zealand – the QT Museum Wellington.

That’s right, a museum hotel; with an incredible art collection and an emphasis on design, I pretty much love the QT because they are redefining the hotel experience, one place at a time.

But more on that soon, in the meantime, the French inspired QT restaurant and cocktail bar The Hippopotamus (YES!) is bringing back high tea with a twist. From Wednesdays to Sundays book in in the afternoon and get your tea on – or if you’re me, your cocktail on; dress up and go out and enjoy one of the best dining spots in town and definitely with the best view overlooking the harbor and Te Papa.

And if you’re around during Wellington on a Plate, the QT is putting on a special chocoholics high tea (so much yes!) along with their festival dishes of kiwi French fusion, like deconstructed marmite French onion soup.

5. Flight Coffee Hangar

It is super super hard to pick the best coffee in Wellington. I mean, there are so many factors to consider. Location, bean, presentation, space and of course, taste and caffeinate-ability; how does one chose? And to even dare to blog about the best coffee in Wellington is putting yourself right in the line of fire.

Come at me.

Because, after all, I am one of the world’s biggest coffee drinkers. No, no. Don’t argue.

And for me, and I know for many Wellingtonians, Flight Coffee Hangar is consistently ranked the king of coffee in town.

6. Hawthorn Lounge

If your kind of bar is an intimate, cozy speakeasy with low lights, finely dressed people and very nice cocktails with ingredients you can’t pronounce served by dapper, eloquent staff, then head straight to the Hawthorn Lounge. That is, if you know where to go. Wink wink.

A 1920’s gentlemen bar, Hawthorn appeals to the gentlemen in all of us, me included. When I lived in Wellington I would often start my nights here, and accidentally stay until bedtime. It’s inviting, comfortable, and a good place for conversation.

And if you find yourself in Wellington this week, be sure to pop in for their fabulous cocktail, the Welly Sound; a divine tribute to Wellington music, it’s practically desert in and of itself. I’m copying and pasting the description of it here because there is no way I can paraphrase (read on and you’ll understand why):

“A foundation of Reid+Reid gin warmed like a phoenix with roots and seeds, harmonised with orange and poppy, poured over a chocolate butter box patrolled by fur. Accompanied by quince conserve and crème brûlée.”

7. Shepherd

Look no further than the trendy popular Shepherd for a great night out sharing plates with friends. Hidden away near all the wonderful spots around Leeds Street downtown, Shepherd opened with a punch only last year and has been booming since.

Modern fusion with a flair, with an emphasis on sustainability, comfort, and the best quality possible, the menu is local and fresh and always changing. And the dishes are really creative and innovative.

Trendy and hipster without the annoying trendy hipsters, it’s quickly become a local staple in town.

8. SHAKE — The Enormous Crocodile Company

Green Crocodile Bikes have been a classic on the Wellington harbor front on sunny days forever. Combined with an ice-cream on those rare bluebird days, what more could you ask for?

But now they’ve taken it to the next level and brought freakshakes to New Zealand! Finally!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with freakshakes, they are an innovative, evocative freakish mashup of desert and milkshake, usually served in some kind of mason jar with a handle.

SHAKE is the new milk bar in town, and they sell classic crazy milkshakes that regularly change. And they have healthy versions too (but why?!)

9. Sixes and Sevens

And the award for my favorite decadent donut in Wellington goes to, dun dun dun, Sixes and Sevens.

Smack in the center of the city, Sixes and Sevens couldn’t be more conveniently located for helping me get my connect with my inner American and get my donut fix.

And they got me with their candied bacon maple donuts. Swoon!

Their donuts change daily, and you got to get in early for the best pickings. But trust me, all of them are glorious and none disappoint. Except after when you’ve accidentally eaten four in a row. Cringe. Do not recommend.

One day I’ll learn self-control, but that was not the day.

10. Wellington Chocolate Factory

Did you know Wellington has a its very own chocolate factory? Forget Cadbury and head over to trendy Leeds Street to check out the Wellington Chocolate Factory.

Incredible artisanal chocolate, locally made, ethically sourced, traded and organic to boot (I’m surprised it’s not vegan – can chocolate be vegan? Nevermind), the Wellington Chocolate Factory has set the bar high for fabulous local chocolate, with each bar designed by a local New Zealand artist.

Obviously the llama one was my favorite.

Join in on a tour and get the full scoop from start to finish on how they make their chocolate, and watch it happen too, and be sure to try their hot chocolate while you’re inside, especially in winter, and especially the caramel one.

Here it’s an all hands on deck operation, and it’s the kind of place where everyone is nuts about chocolate and loves their job. Winner.

11. Golding’s Free Dive 

A fab addition to the trendy Leed’s Street area of downtown Wellington, Golding’s Free Dive bar is a the perfect place to go straight after work on a Friday and stay til late. Playing homage to the great neighborhood dive bars of North America (whut up), Goldings has great beer, great company and a great space period.

And it certainly is a step up from my days dancing til dawn at the now-closed nearby Boogie Wonderland (and accidentally making out with nineteen year old uni students – shivers!), Goldings is a step up for all of us, really.

What a time to be alive.

12. Olive’s

For the past four years, Olive’s has been my favorite cafe in Wellington.

I know, I know, a bold statement. Originally I used to go here for their wifi. It was a great space to hang out and work in for a few hours, and there’s just something about it that gets all my creative energy going strong. I still go by and write here almost every time I’m in Wellington.

It’s a stunning space, and really centrally located right on Cuba Street, with a great outdoor courtyard brimming with plants and trees. The menu is classic and the coffee good. It’s the perfect place to just chill and people will leave you alone.

Don’t go here, it’s mine.

13. Six Barrel Soda Co.

Of course handmade small batch artisanal sodas are a thing, and you can find them in Wellington at the Six Barrel Soda Co.

You can find their sodas and syrups all over New Zealand and Australia, but you can visit their showroom and soda bar right in downtown Wellington. A nice change from bars and coffee, I’m all about the soda shops, especially when they have a selection like here.

Their soda menu is to die for. I dare you not to leave with three bottles.

If you want to check out somewhere different, come here.

14. Leeds Street Bakery

I literally stumbled on Leeds Street Bakery a few years ago by complete accident and I have been a loyal fan of their coffee and salted caramel cookies ever since.

Tucked away in an old shoe factory, Leeds Street Bakery offers amazing coffee and amazing freshly baked breads in one, with some great pastries too. Fresh, local and of the highest caliber in a cool space a bit off the main streets, you can probably see why I keep coming back.

And the cookies, definitely the cookies.

15. The Library

Finally my last and favorite bar in Wellington, The Library.

It’s a book themed bar, guys, need I say more?

Have you ever been to Wellington? What are your favorite spots in town? Do you travel to cities with a great foodie and coffee scene too? Spill!

Many thanks to Absolutely Positively Wellington for hosting me in Wellington – like always I’m keeping it real – all opinions are my own, like you could expect less from me. 

The post Where to wine, dine and caffeinate in Wellington, New Zealand appeared first on Young Adventuress.

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[pikespeyote-blog]

Poco a poco, my Gosh it's only been a week?!

This is exhusting, this project I took on - but I'm going to keep moving forward. In my last post I mentioned having to go back to Mexico..again..unexpected to pay the 2 annual payments plus the unexpected "Acceptence fee" from the bank (US $600) for a total of $1740. So I returned to the US on Sunday May 28th, then by Friday June 2cd I was back in the car headed to Baja. The last delimima was I needed to bring more money but it seemed cash wasn't an option nor a US check. Logically I decided if I am in Mexico with Peso's I can find a way to pay a Mexican bank. So I hit the casa de cambio, and had to get through a screening because lately I brought too much money into Mexico and that triggers *something* in the casa de cambios, so after proving my source of funds (is not drug money) they gave me peso's and I was on my way in as always. Friday I was able to do a little shopping and socializing. Saturday I bought more more matieral...all the roofing, all the siding. The Windows rough openings were framed and I set in brick sills then boarded up the holes. I had some sheathing to complete on an upper side outside wall. Also I framed in 2 small bedrooms. I wanted these walls in place to carry some of the roofing load though from an engineering perspective I shouldn't need them. Anyway, I also wrapped part of the house nn Tyvek. Even got a shower sunday night and was ready for the banking and bueracracy Monday morning. I found out from the Notaria I could print a reference number, a couple papers she emailed, and take cash to ScociaBank. Wow this is too easy. They accept cash, I have the papers and thankfully I got my pesos on Friday to make the payment.. all set. Of course when I arrived at Scotiabank they told me I had to pay in US Dollars. Ironic. The reason is the Notaria assumed I would have US Dollars and requested the total/paperwork in US Dollars. So I went to a local casa de cambio and paid again to convert my pesos back into dollars. This money sure cost me a lot of money! Viva Mexico. ..then back to the bank and making the payment was rather easy from there. I took the bank reciept to get copies then to the notaria so she could notify the contact at (the same bank where I paid) that the payment is made. She of course has still not confirmed with me that she actually did it, nor has she replied to my emails asking. Also seems to be normal. All this said, in theory.. I'm done. Supposably the bank processes everything and in 30 days I'll have my fideicomiso papers. Remember, I paid to apply, I paid for them to accept, the notary vetted the property legalities, got the sellers papers in orders so she could sell, I can't imagine what comes next. Certainly I'll not feel like it's mine until I have those papers but I did see the registration in the Notarias offical books. Of course that is not the bank carrying the deed. I feel like there is still both time and probability for more problems. But what i have learned is poco a poco and everything manana. So - I am offically US $5600 into the legal paperwork. If this were the US obviously that would not be a lot of money for this type of legal work but for me thats a lot of cash all things considered (the many thousands for the property and the thousands for Materials and hours and days of manual labor and stress). I left Mexico (again Tuersday June 6th) and will not be returning for a couple weeks. The next blog / updates will be on how the construction is progressing and I'll put some updates on the next surprise, signature or fee that pops up to finish the fideicomiso. Even though I am basically now broke, I have a lot of material so there is a lot I can do buying minimally more lumber. The guy that did my floor is coming to seeme there in a couple weeks. I think I want him to do my plumbing. I need a quote and it's gotta be cheap. Oh the 4 vinyl double paned windows I ordered arrived so I am excited to bring those down. Of course I'll be stopping at aduana to pay that 16% duty tax. Also I got the paint. Its not what really what I wanted but its basically a burnt red/orange - if you have seen a BJ's brewery here in the US - its that color. I'm just going to go for it. There is a door for sale for $400 in Rosarito. I want it, so hope to find some money for that. I'm super duper tired from all this but seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I just need those fideicomiso papers in my hands before I can feel secure. Oh, and one guy barrowed 1000 pesos from me then another guy barrowed 500 pesos from me. It will be *fun* to see if I ever see that money again. Wish me luck.