#gotta say. I might be Sith.

[evilminji]

You know? I kinda wonder...

In a Self Insert type scenario, in Star Wars?

They would be MUCH more open to listening to "buddy, a storm's comin'" type warnings. Their Cannon knowledge, even if spotty, would probably echo with the Force and draw its attention to them somewhat. Because they KNOW.

KNOW what is going to happen. Not guess. Not assume. KNOW. Like the Force does. And that? Coupled with their inherent strangeness? Would make them the oddly colored duck of the flock, as it were. Not Super Important... buuuut? Easy to spot.

One of the Force's Blorbos.

Just cause, really. Cause they look funny. The Force doesn't even have a plan for um! But they turned up, ate the Force's food, and look at their wittle faaaace~☆! So it's keeping them. You know... assuming they survive.

Which?

Brings me to my point?

Since they LISTEN? The Force probably chatters like a mofo. Since a Self Insert would be anxious and constantly ASKING for wisdom. For help. A friend. Guidance of any kind. The Force would be draped around them like a particularly pleased with itself shoulder cat. A hovering backseat driver.

Because you DO keep asking, after all.

It's like muscle memory. Building strength. Not... not GREAT, in all actuality? Because Self Insert is avoiding making their OWN choices, probably out of fear? But on the OTHER hand? Both of them KNOW that there is literally a Sith Master like... less then 5 minutes away from where they live. Constantly.

And they are a Youngling.

So???

At What Point?? Does the Force? Engage "Fuck it, we take our baby and run" protocols?

Just? FULL ON "you stop midway through making your dinner, turn off the soup, pick up your kids, leave the house, and NEVER LOOK BACK". Because? Yes. The Jedi KNIGHTS and MASTERS may have vows to try and protect the people of the Republic?

BUT THE YOUNGLINGS DO NOT.

They, in fact, need to be PROTECTED.

And if the Force itself? Says "if you stay here, they WILL die."? You gotta go. Hopefully? You have enough warning to like... pack a ship. But, ya might NOT. Might just be "aaaand, everybody put down your pads! Suprise field trip to Anywhere Else! IMMEDIATELY. Single file, younglings. No running!" Like?

What would you do?

I kinda wanna see it.

Just this somber, vaguely haunted, crechling walking up to import figures like Madam Nu and Yoda going "if I tell you The Force told me we have to take the younglings, ALL OF THEM, and any history we think is worth preserving, and LEAVE... would you listen? Or would you let us die here?" With their tiny lil face and to serious expression.

Like a prophet of Doom.

And WHERE? Exactly? Are they supposed to go? Oh, simple. They are to Trust In The Force. And let it guide them. Out IN THE UNKNOWN REGIONS of wild space! Because THATS fine! Is this a joke?

No.

No the youngling is dead serious. Terrifyingly serious. Has been studying how to pilot a shop like they will have to do so THEMSELF. Asking questions that paint a concerning portrait of a child that fully intends to take their peers on this journey, with or without them.

And the Force? The Force says they MUST. That it is impossibly important they DO.

WELL THEN....

Do they... TELL anybody?

No. Not a single soul. Specifically, not a single soul In The Senate. Ah. Concerning! Guess we're? "Losing" a ship in the war? Oh dear. Such casualties. All those lives. Oh noooooo, and such and so forth. UNRELATED note! It's been FAR too long since this temple was cleaned! Unacceptable. You, random clones definitely not assigned to that ship we definitely just lost! Help us... clean!

Just?

The power of "fuck it, we took our ball and went home/left"? Should be USED more in fics. The Force TOTALLY knows where some sweet, sweet habitable planets are. You'll NEVER fuckin find them if they don't want you too! An entire temple of Jedi asking for the SAME thing? Versus a crusty lil shit?

They asked first. And nicely!

With THIS, balance is maintained. Not through FORCE. But through walking away for a bit. Allowing OTHERS to decide if this is what THEY want for themselves. Order 66 may or may not still happen? But? At most? All you would kill is the current fighting adults. Not the teachers. Not the elders. And CERTAINLY not the young.

They? Are far away. Where the Force is still clear and the light is strong. Growing up. Reflecting on what went wrong. Farming. Building a new temple with the Clones. You know, the ones who didn't have their comms. Never GOT that dreaded order. Get to live free men on a peaceful planet.

Cause historically? You send your kids AWAY from active wars zones. Places that are priority targets for your enemies. And if the Force itself is saying "move the babies"? Welp! Guess you gotta move um, don't ya? It's scary. Uncertain.

But it is an act of faith.

And I just? Wanna see Sith's plans just COMPLETELY fuckin implode? Because they could not plan for Faith. For Trust and Community and Hope. All the things they believe so trite. So worthless. The very things that would lead grown adults, POWERFUL PEOPLE, to actually? LISTEN to a mere youngling. Then follow their lead.

It would be?

Inconceivable to them.

@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @hypewinter @babbling-babull @hdgnj @starwarsblr @starwars

[jessicas-pi]

hear me out on this ok. ROTS AU where Anakin still turns to the dark side but that's Palpatine's problem.

So, Palpatine decides last minute that ehhhh maybe dooku could come in handy later and he doesn't encourage Anakin to kill him, and Dooku gets arrested and imprisoned in the Jedi Temple awaiting trial. (Also he didn't get his hands cut off because of uhh plot reasons?)

Fast forward.

Palpatine is encouraging Anakin towards the Dark side, tells him about Plagueis the Wise, etc. etc. But see, the thing is, Anakin is at the end of his tether, probably hasn't slept more than three hours over the past week, and has no remaining impulse control or inhibitions, and upon hearing that the Dark Side can save people from death, his first thought is, "wait a sec, we've got a Sith Lord in-house at the moment!" and he sprints out of the space opera and books it back to the temple.

Now, Dooku has been calmly waiting in Temple custody, confident that Darth Sidious will arrange his escape. But THEN Anakin barges into the cell like OMG THE CHANCELLOR TOLD ME THE SITH KNOW HOW TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM DYING AND I'M HAVING DREAMS ABOUT SOMEONE DYING AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE THEM

At which point, Dooku realizes Palpatine's plan. He's going to tempt Skywalker to the Dark side and REPLACE DOOKU. this is totally uncool.

So he's like "...who are you dreaming about, exactly?"

Anakin freezes. He can't admit it's Padme because their relationship is top-secret and he can't admit how important she is to him so he tries to think of a good fib and goes "uhhhh OBI-WAN! Obi-Wan, it's Obi-Wan, I'm dreaming about Obi-Wan dying-" and he just throws himself into the drama because now he IS imagining obi-wan dying because Obi-Wan is fighting grievous at the moment and he MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE and that's in addition to Padme dying and he's totally spiraling at this point- "pleasepleaseplease you gotta help me he's like the only father i've ever known I don't know what i'll do without obi-wan I have to save him YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT TO DO I'LL DO ANYTHING--"

Dooku begins to smile.

(Would stealing Skywalker out from under his Master's nose be petty? Oh, yeah.)

(But it would also be very, very satisfying.)

---

Obi-Wan calls in to a council meeting to report his defeat of Grievous, but before he can say so, Mace announces that Dooku has escaped and the Sith Master has been killed.

Silence falls between the eleven councilmembers (eleven, not twelve, because their newest one is conspicuously absent. Obi-Wan wonders just what Anakin's up to now. Honestly, that boy will be the death of him.)

Obi-Wan clears his throat.

"...indeed," he says, trying to handle the shocking news with composure. "Well... at least we're down to one Sith, now."

Another awkward pause.

"Yeah, about that--" Mace begins.

[weixuldo]

Allow me// ch 4

Vader x Reader

a/n: Hello hello!! sorry for the wait! I will say that were entering more of the “x reader” content that I know most of you are looking forward to heh, but who doesnt love a good slow burn?? hah ty for reading :)

Your boss is not happy about your absence yesterday

warnings: Cannon typical violence, force choking, real choking (and not in the fun way lol), Death, implied death, cursing, anxiety

_____________________

“You never arrived at your posted station yesterday officer y/n, so where in the galaxy were you?!” your red faced manager shouted at you as he dabbed at the sweat forming above his bushy brow. 

“I was pulled aside to complete-” 

“I don’t give a fuck about who asked for your assistance, you report to me. And unfortunately your task was not completed yesterday so who do you think got chewed out? Me!” he huffed, not allowing you to finish your sentence. This was causing a bit of a scene in the semi-public hallway.  

If he weren't always like this, a passerby might think he was going to go into cardiac arrest. 

“Sir, I am truly sorry, but when Darth Vader himself asks for your assistance, you can't really deny him,” you tried to explain calmly.

The winded man in front of you let out a gargantuan laugh, “You're tellin’ me… Darth Vader? The most revered Sith lord in the galaxy… asked for your help?! Hah! You gotta be outta your mind little girl”.

“It is true sir, I didn’t get a chance to tell you after I finished because It was late and our wing was closed”.

“Oh yea, I'm sure you did get back pretty late” he laughed.

“Pardon?”

“We all hear what the troopers say about you little miss, surprised you didn’t take your knee pads yesterday, well with all that dick you’ve been sucking”

Wow, this puny man was really proud of himself, wasn't he. It was honestly disgusting.

“I do not think that is appropriate workplace behavior, sir” you tried to remain as cordial as possible; with basically the whole executor aiming for the target on your back, you felt like you had to be on your very best behavior all the time. 

“Yea, well in my department, I make the rules and since you carelessly neglected your duties yesterday, I’m giving you the highly acclaimed task of cleaning the restrooms in the communal sector, and once you're done with that I think I’ll give you a task all the way in the bridge” the man smiled a toothy grin before insisting time was “of the essence”.

The cool bathroom floor made you shiver as your knees hit the tile, you went through so much schooling and apprenticeships to do ….this. 

Wonderful.

To make it even better you had to keep the door open because the cleaning chemicals needed to be aired out or else they would be too strong; that gave your whole department the lovely view of your ass bent over the toilets, scrubbing away the grime.

It was humiliating, but what were you going to do? Defy your manager and possibly lose your job? No.

It was bad enough that everyone here seemed to hate you, why would you lose a decent paying job too?

You sighed as you heard some of your co-workers snickering;

“I bet that tile is uncomfortable”

“I wouldn't worry about it, she’s probably used to being on her knees hah!”

Finally, you reached the last stall and you were getting high off of the fumes of the cleaning materials. You felt gross and you were getting a headache, your boss didn’t even give you the health regulated mask to use as you worked with the chemicals. 

You were gathering up the cleaning bottles and rags when you heard the bustling of your office grow silent. That wasn’t normal, usually there were at least a few yappy voices gossiping about some dumb drama within the department. 

You were inclined to peek around the doorway of the bathroom, but you decided not to do anything that could get you yelled at…again.

Suddenly you heard a hushed voice, “He’s coming”.

At that, your senses heightened. Could it be?

Him. 

You had no reason to be excited for his arrival, after all it's not like you were in a fantasy story where he would whisk you away and make you his-

The familiar sound of the steel door sliding to the side filled the bay and in came those heavy boot steps, patterned breathing, and demanding aura. 

Darth Vader was here. 

“My Lord, how may I be of assistance” your boss bowed at the dark figure before him; his face finally cooled down from the bright red it was when he yelled at you earlier.

“I need to speak with one of your mechanics” the Sith spoke, surveying the room. 

“Yes, of course! We can get you someone right awa-’

“You misunderstand, General. I need one specific mechanic” Vader corrected.

“Oh! My apologies, who may you be in search of?” Your boss recovered his mistake, though you could see the redness creeping up the back of his neck again.

“F/N L/N.”

Did you mess up your details yesterday? 

You felt less worried for your safety then you once did because you had shared a few one-on-one moments with the dark lord.

But

His sudden appearance in your wing did confuse you. 

You peeked around the bathroom door’s opening and saw your boss nervously glancing at the bathroom door.

“Ohh, um, of course My lord…. Though might I add, if some repair was done incorrectly I apologize on behalf of the mechanic’s branch… she tends to do faulty work– and we will deal with her accordingl-”

“Quite the contrary, general.”

The-now- red faced man blinked in surprise at the Sith’s words. 

“M-My Lord?” 

He stole another glance back to where you were. 

“What is in the bathroom that is so interesting that you cannot focus on our conversation?” The cloaked figure demanded as he made his way over to where you were. 

Quickly you scurried away from the entrance and went back to cleaning on the other end of the facility; You'd rather not be caught actively eavesdropping.

The Sith stomped into the bathroom with a determination that gave you butterflies. His helmet turned towards you before he commanded you to rise.

Oh… maybe he was frustrated with you.

Your excitement turned into uncertainty as you followed the man out of the restroom.

“Leave the bucket” he added, talking about the pail with all of the cleaning supplies and rags. 

You stepped out of the chemical filled bathroom and inhaled a deep breath of clean air; as you followed the flowing cape of the man in front of you, everyone’s eyes were on you. 

Vader suddenly stopped, causing you to almost run straight into his broad shoulders. 

“Would you care to explain why a mechanic of the empire was wasting time sanitizing the restroom facilities and not a cleaning droid?”

“Well, My Lord, she had not arrived at her posted work station yesterday, so we thought it best to punish her accordingly” Your boss replied with a nervous toothy grin. 

“Who approved that method, General?”

“Well- Umm” the shorter man stammered.

“Because I see no advantages to this situation. More work is delayed and the cleaning is less efficient”

Damn, he really just implied you didn’t know how to clean a toilet.

“Yes, Of course My Lord, My apologies… it will not happen again” Your boss profusely apologized.

“Very well. I am not pleased when workers take their own liberties when abridging protocol on MY ship” The Sith proclaimed irritably. 

The sleazy man cowered and stepped aside, allowing the cloaked Sith passage.

“Y/N, you are to come with me” Vader spoke, without turning to look at you.

Your whole body felt tingly as you walked behind him (and not in the fun tingly way…. More like dread). You weren’t used to him taking a demanding tone with you. 

You followed him out and his squadron followed closely behind you; the hallway was silent except for the shuffle of the trooper’s boots and the man’s breathing. What had you gotten yourself into?

Only around halfway down the hallway the man in front of you suddenly stopped, prompting you to halt abruptly behind him. You were so close that his cape brushed the tip of your nose before you took a few steps back. 

Vader slowly turned his head to the side as if he were sensing something. Was he feeling your fear?

The profile of his mask seemed more and more ominous with every second. 

You were about to ask him what was the matter, but before you could he walked past you back towards where you both just were. 

Were you supposed to follow him? 

He had already entered the room when you caught up with him. You weren't sure what he was doing, but you sure didn’t expect to see him choking your boss in the middle of the room.

The smaller man had no chance as the dark giant held him firmly in his gloved hand. It was almost sad how much your boss was struggling; he kicked his feet and clawed at Vader’s iron fist. 

“Would you care to repeat what you just said, general?” Vader questioned.

All the man could muster was broken chokes and gasps as his face turned bluer by the second.

“First you think you can change protocol and then you have the audacity to insinuate my business with one of your mechanics” he scoffed before dropping the man from his grasp. 

He fell hard with a thud and gasped for air.

Vader straightened his form and took a look around the room at all of the terrified workers.

“Do not be so ignorant as to think I do not hear your childish gossip on my own ship.”

Suddenly you realized what this was all about…

the rumors. 

Of course a mighty sith lord wouldn’t want to be talked about behind their back, especially if people were insinuating they were getting their rocks off, but there was a certain double standard among the men of the galaxy. It was seen as something to be proud of when a man would bed many women or have “sex slaves” (for lack of better terms). 

You really didn’t understand why he was so heated… was it because it was you?

A sudden wave of nausea washed over you; was he only disgusted because they were pairing him with you? Did he think you were that embarrassing to be associated with? 

Vader turned his attention back to the man on the ground.

“Pathetic” he huffed before turning back to the gallery of shocked workers.

“Let him be an example for you all” 

In a swift motion he turned his clench fist and the man’s neck snapped with a sickening crack.

Your eyes widened and you heard others gasp; you had only ever heard of the Sith’s capability, never seen it.

Vader turned on his heel and promptly left the room, strutting down the hall quicker than he was before; you were frozen for a moment, but then you hurried after the Sith. Hopefully what he needed you for would be something less… deadly. 

___________________________

The room was freezing and the fabric of your uniform was not doing much to help with the cold.

After the ordeal at your workplace, Vader brought you to a room that you had not previously seen. In keeping with the rest of the ship, the room was the rich obsidian that you grew accustomed to. There was a large seat in front of the window that beautifully displayed the vast view of space. 

Currently you were seated on a couch that was in front of the chair; much to your surprise it was a pretty comfy one.

None of the troopers entered the room with you and the Sith, so you worried this was it. You were going to die. 

He asked you to take a seat but then disappeared into another connecting room.

In his absence, you recalled all of your interactions with him, trying to figure out what grounds he had to kill you? Nothing you had done was out of line, it was more the mistakes of those around you… but what were you going to do, protest the Sith’s plans? 

You became sad when you reminisced on your feelings for the man… What a fool you were. You really thought that the cold and stoic man liked you. You thought you were connecting with him- and he even allowed you to drop formalities around him-

What went wrong?

You were too naiive, that’s what was wrong. 

Your nerves began to settle a bit when he hadn’t returned, it had been around two hours by now. Whether he wanted to play a cruel waiting game or not was becoming more and more irrelevant to you. 

You were sure your fate was sealed, so what was a few more hours? Plus you had a very emotionally taxing day and your lack of sleep was catching up with you. 

This couch was feeling more and more appealing and your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier…

Maybe a little nap wouldn’t hurt, you would just make sure to set an alarm on your watch for you to wake up. 

yeah… just a quick-

***

a/n: alrightyyy thank you for reading and if you guys have any questions about the pacing of this story or enigma, dont hesitate to shoot me an ask! Love you all :)

taglist: @vadersassistant @sxoulohvn @khaleesihavilliard @kashasenpai @darling-murdock @beautifulbearpolice @salvatoresister1 @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @blueninjablade3 @jujuba096 @missmannequin @jellydodger @mirastark @wyvernthekriger @duckyhowls @monada43 @lauriidoesstuff @vienettacream @ray-rook @itswhatever06

[tiredassmage]

Okay. The stars might be aligning today. Something might be working out in my favor and, perhaps, I can finally bring y'all in on. the absolute shenanigans that have finally taken shape between Alucren and Tyr.

Incredibly strong urge to ID him as 'the bastard man in question,' but. look, he is. I wouldn't exactly be wrong.

Anyway, in an attempt to be brief, Alucren is recruited to Imperial Intelligence when the class story's already kicked off. He's maybe three years older than Tyr and I need to establish now that that does not mean he's the older sibling. This will make sense in a minute. Perhaps.

So, he's designated Cipher Eleven and, largely, he knows Tyr by reputation as Cipher Nine, but they don't. really interact directly until they're some of the limited survivors of ImpIntel's fallout and Alucren becomes Tyr's Class-A Nuisance in Sith Intelligence. Eleven fucks with Nine because somebody's gotta see the guy loosen up, he argues. Which is hilarious because out of the two of them, Alucren is the one with the largely unbending loyalty to the Empire and the Sith.

[Everyone be thankful he wasn't the main subject of the Imperial Agent storyline. I don't think he'd survive the winter. Definitely not with his pretty aviator sunglasses in-tact about the galaxy and how it works, at least.]

The code I've cracked about this is that it is a largely one-sided mess fueled mostly by a lot of insecurities on Alucren's part. He's the only son of four children, and as loving as that family set up was, he still feels a responsibility to his family's name and legacy [and they have quite a long one in service to Imperial domestic interests; sidebar, Alucren's kind of a walking encyclopedia of Imperial history because of this. Let him take you on a museum date and tell you historical fun facts. Enrichment!]

And Nine has a whopping reputation as being one of the best Ciphers Imperial Intelligence ever trained. Of course, Alucren isn't... in on how much that also essentially turned Tyr's life inside out and wrung it out like a dish towel, but, hey! Details! And Alucren is, in a word, stubborn. And maybe a little competitive. And not all that certain of his own position in the service.

So, what's a guy to do but develop a homoerotic, one-sided rivalry with his essentially boss given Tyr's sort of right-hand man status to Lana? It's totally straight to think, "yeah, bet if I kissed him, that'd shut him up," right? Right! According to Alucren.

[oh honey you got a big storm coming, son]

Tyr is, largely, either willfully or just blatantly kinda... not on the same page about this. At least in Sith Intelligence. Alucren's whole attitude bit is a little grating, but Tyr's a professional and. mostly can afford to set aside the inconvenience of dealing with Alucren's smartassery to get their respective jobs done.

And then, in really short summary, the plot keeps happening. Alucren may or may not develop a bit of a crush on a Sith he starts serving [a smoking hot certain Wrath of the Emperor belonging to @hyrohkaah] (congratulations on the bisexuality Alucren!!!). It takes. a while for Alucren to really sus any of this whole Deal out about himself because he's very image-oriented. He has a Presentation to maintain about himself. Luckily for him, Tyr's a perceptive little shit and. eventually also not above throwing some of his stupid shenanigans back at his face.

Ultimately, there isn't any romantic attraction between these two fools, but Alucren still likes to take Tyr's patience and control for a spin around the block for the thrills and Tyr occasionally yanks back just as hard for the amusement. Sometimes this looks a lot more like indignant siblings arguing over their LegoCity build that's taken up the basement floor and sometimes it means are they flirting or fighting and the answer is yes.

And I'm also going to say Alucren's loyalty becomes... a lot more interesting for that sort of healed relationship between him and Tyr. :3 Alucren's a man that will always call the Empire home, so he'll probably end up serving it the rest of his life. But he also knows Nine is not a man to do anything by halves, and he does nothing without extremely good reason. And it'd just be a shame if I made them confront the possibility of shooting at each other. I mean. >.>

Spoiler alert: Alucren's probably not anywhere near as certain of his ability to follow through with that threat as he'd like to be. It'd surprise both of them, honestly. But you didn't hear that from me.

Anyway. He's a bit of a loser, actually, and I love him. Insultingly and affectionately. He's just.... a little like my pathetically sopping wet greasy alley rat. Unfortunately, he's adorable. And if someone punched him, he'd probably still deserve it.

And that, my friends, is the insane Tom & Jerry shit that has consumed me in the last two weeks or so about Alucren and Tyr. I'd usually say thanks for coming to my TED Talk, but this man's ego is already the broadside of a Destroyer in size and we just don't need to encourage that.

[fangirls666]

Star wars prequels and orginal trilogy. ***the twin sister that should never been***

Y/n was in the middle of watching star wars her favorite franchise of all time after harry potter. I am always sad that anakin turns into darth vader I mean we always new it was going to come to that no matter how Manny time you watch it. But if I had the chance to make things different I would I mean any fan girl would really but sadly it's fictional not real which mean I live in the real world and only that. Which sucks it's not like reality any better at least if it was real we would of had jedis and aliens but at last we don't. It's not like I've had et had my far share in darkness as will but it's the only job I have to pay my bills. And it's not like I've had any other choice in the matter the government practically kidnapped me and made me do the job cause I was apparently really smart in computers dam it. When I got a call from boss who I hate so much telling me that I have to go in the morning to the headquarters stupid fuckin job that I had no choice in the say was apparently we have a spy inside wtf. I was just finishing watching revenge of the sith I've got a snack and popcorn sitting on the couch when I paused the movie I heard a silent ticking sound when all the sudden bomb a bom went off and there was nothing left I was dead or at least I thought I was the next thing I knew whas hereing sound and voices one was in pain I open my eyes to find my hands and feet are small and I am looking at a person who is apparently my new mother she looks so familiar where have I seen her from? Next to me was I guessing my new baby brother twin. I hear her naming me y/n skywalker and my baby brother anakin skywalker of fuck that's why she was so familiar she was in star wars how the fuck is the possible no scientific evidence can explain this and apparently my brother is anakin mini darth vader. How on earth am I gonna survive this bullshit.

----------------------------------------------------

These are very long summary I know but when I am reading fanfiction I like reading long finished works and I hate it when people don't finish them but sometime it might take some time cause you know i gotta a life. Please send feedback and ask Mr questions I hope you guys like it .

[rainwingmarvel7]

7, 9, & 50 for the fic writer asks?

Ooo thanks for the ask!

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

I gotta say, I’m very proud of my original house that I created for my asoiaf fics, House Dormaire. I think I’ve found a way to fit them into the story in a way that is believable and without them being too obtrusive. Plus, they’re just super cool.

And for my Star Wars fic series, I’m super proud of all that I’ve done to develop the New Republic and Sith Order after the sequel trilogy, as well as other groups such as Crimson Dawn. I feel like I was able to stay very true to the source material while also being really creative with it. I even wrote a 98 page lore doc of over 300 years of history about it!

9. How do you find new fic to read?

Honestly, most of the time I find new fics, I’m either searching for a specific ship (whether that be between canon characters or with OCs) or concepts that I think are interesting, or I’m lucky enough to stumble onto something really great!

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Might as well take this opportunity to share some fics that I really love (and there are even more than just these four, trust me)!

Lion Among Wolves by arios2004 on Wattpad

This fic (and it’s two AU companions) really inspired me to write my own asoiaf stories, and Annalys Lannister is such a badass!

Sins of the Father by @selfproclaimedunicorn on AO3

Another amazing example of an asoiaf story done right. I’m obsessed with everything about this story, and I aspire to write something this great someday! Also Yoreen has my whole heart.

Burn Them All by KnightsRook on AO3

I love everything about this fic. It takes things in a direction I wasn’t expecting, and at every twist and turn I’m even more hooked. The writing is also absolutely beautiful.

Risky Business by lookingforlucy on Wattpad

This is one of my favorite fics that I’ve ever read. Although I read it years ago now, I still think about it often, and it truly inspired me and the way that I now write. Prudence Owens is an absolute queen, and she is one of my favorite characters ever written.

Please check out these awesome fics and writers if you have the chance! Show them some love!

[raven-of-domain-kwaad]

gotta return the question while I work on answering because it's such a fun one! <3 so stealing your own question: "would any of your OCs enjoy dressing up for Halloween and what in your mind would their costumes be?" -Oliver 🌹

Ayyy! I'm a day late but thanks for the uno reverse Oliver / @voidendron!

Going to look at the little family unit that is Amarra, Amélie and Élise for this one.

Amarra is a simple lady and doesn't really do a lot of extravagant or sexy costumes. But I can totally see her dressing up like her childhood hero, Tulak Hord, when she and Amélie take Élise out for trick or treating. Lol might get some raised eyebrows from other Alliance folks for that or nods of approval if she is still in the Empire as that would definitely be an Imperial approved costume.

Amélie I think would have a bit more fun with it and probably get an animal costume. Maybe something like a Terentatek so she can jump out and scare kids a bit. She definitely jump scared her sister in law Ryscha with the costume.

Élise as a kid could definitely be a Princess of some sort. If not that then a cute animal costume of a Tuk'ata or some other culturally Sith creature.

Now teenage Élise would definitely do a joke one year and not dress any differently than she usually does and say "I'm an agent of Imperial Intelligence, we look just like everyone else." Amélie (former Cipher Twenty) would find that absolutely hilarious.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

When Your Name is the Title But It's Not Your Story

I'm about to say something absolutely blasphemous as a die-hard EU fangirl. *Glances nervously left and right before whispering:*

The Disney show Obi-Wan Kenobi was better than Kenobi.

*ducks the tsunami of angry EU novel fans*

Just hear me out on this one, because this wasn't a bad book or a bad Star Wars story! It was just a bad Obi-Wan story. Let's talk Kenobi.

Obi-Wan's name might be prominently on the cover of this book, but if I'm being real, the story is Annileen's and A'Yark's story. It's about how these absolute badass women pick up, keep going, and build better lives for themselves and their children in the desert hellscape that is Tatooine. The Jedi on site happens to be Obi-Wan, and we get periodic meditations from him on trying to connect with Qui-Gon and deal with *gestures broadly at Episode III: Revenge of the Sith,* but it's so disconnected from the main meat of the Tusken/Moisture Farmer conflict that frankly it's distracting from the "Annileen is slowly low-key falling in love with Ben" parts of the novel. The Tusken/Moisture Farmer conflict is actually really well done and compelling, but you could have slotted literally any male human Jedi of Obi-Wan's age into the story and it wouldn't have changed anything critical to the book.

Compare that to Obi-Wan Kenobi's deep look at Obi-Wan's collapse and rebuilding after Episode III, and the intense focus on Obi-Wan's identity and relationships with Anakin, the Jedi, the nascent Rebel Alliance, Darth Vader, young Leia (literally not enough heart eyes in the world for that relationship), and the force and there is just no comparison. The show centered Obi-Wan in a way that the novel just straight-up did not.

So if you want a well-plotted, well-written, women-centric Star Wars story, by all means, pick up Kenobi. It's a solid book and I enjoyed it. If you want Obi-Wan-centric angst and emotional growth, I gotta point you at the show.

[joshuaxernandez]

I'm just gonna post my punchline poems:

This is for college kids who saying free Palestine

Took away the scholarship ill turn em to a life of crime

I just say my life in rhymes might just save your life one time

Want me drawn and quartered for the way that I be courting dimes

Look at what they gotta do to just mimic a fraction

Young Jedi master with the sabre I be slashing

Splitting siths in half and then I'm off the fucking planet

Some people wanna love it some people wanna have it

As for me I'm causing havoc might just fuck around in traffic

Speaking to your kids like I'm yo Gabba Gabba

Blasting kappa kappa kappas

my violence is inglorious

But no I'm not a bastard

I'm not on team America butt I'm fucking all these assholes

Who wanna shit on everything then cry bout getting cancelled

Claiming interference leave their brain waves scrambled

With the bullets from the handle put their head up on my mantle

The systems fucking broken and it needs to be dismantled

So if you is a follower I'm your Charles Manson

We don't take no hostages and we don't want no ransom

My grandma says I'm handsome and I am her I am favorite grandson

But sometimes she forgets so I had to make this anthem

To remind these fucking Imbeciles to not take shit for granted

[the-fallen-blue]

buddy i gotta hear your thoughts on kriff and kark now!!!!

Kriff: fake swear. Weaksauce. For kids. A minced oath, generally equivalent to “frigging,” and should only be used in the same circumstances and by the same sorts of people. Soldiers do not say this. Cool Badass Mandos™ do not say this (Satine might but I think Obi-Wan would make fun of her for it). Han Solo does not say this, except maybe in front of his own kids when he edits himself fast enough. Mace Windu does say this, but people who know him well suspect he’s being dryly ironic.

Kark: here we go. A proper swear. Entirely vulgar. The true and proper Fuck™ of the GFFA. The infix of irritated champions. A pure and honest expression of the strongest emotion and frivolous disinterest alike. The single, devastating syllable you utter when you just noticed the Sith lord standing behind you, which genuinely does make you feel very very slightly better for having said it before you are bisected.

[elljayvee]

In other news I have been brooding about Anakin Skywalker today because I made the mistake of reading An Article talking about Who Darth Vader's Daddy Is in the Darth Vader comic book which. OK, so, the Opera Scene in Revenge of the Sith goes like:

PALPATINE: I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life ... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.

ANAKIN: He could actually save people from death?

PALPATINE: The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

ANAKIN: What happened to him?

PALPATINE: He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. (smiles) Plagueis never saw it coming. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.

And there's been a fan theory I've never particularly liked that takes that scene ("could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life") and Anakin's canonical fatherlessness and says: Palpatine created Anakin.

And there are so many issues I have with this I swear -- like, if he did this, why would he then let his specially-created Force baby be raised in slavery that he didn't, like, control -- but apparently this is what the comic book canon has decided to go with. I hate it.

I also hate that it has certain resonances with the whole Palpatine cloning situation and Rey's backstory, and I hate the inevitability it makes of Anakin's turn to the Dark Side.

And yes, Star Wars is fundamentally mythological, and there's a mythological edge to that inevitability, there's the prophetic aspect -- it was always a tragedy, it always had to happen, Oedipus has to kill his father and marry his mother -- but I think this narrative decision in particular weakens the impact of Anakin's choices. To be clear, his choices are bad and his decision-making ability highly questionable, but in a universe where he made those decisions, he owns them -- he's manipulated into making them, and they're terrible and impactful for him and for everyone else. And in a universe next door, he was made to make them. He didn't choose them. He's not anything but a puppet from day one.

I'm not saying it can't make sense. For example, it has never made sense to me that Padme reacted to his murder rampage in Attack of the Clones by...apparently forgetting about it later? (Sure, act calm and sooth the murder rampage guy at the time, you gotta get out alive, but later you should turn that guy in, not marry him like he didn't just murder a whole bunch of people, some of them children). The only way I could figure it was that he had to have mindwhammied her into forgetting about it...but if he's just kind of Dark Side Force Fuckery Incarnated, he might not need to mindwhammy her, he might just have Weird Vibes that mess with the heads of people around him -- maybe it makes the Jedi not notice he's Dark Side Force Fuckery Incarnated, and for non-Force-sensitive people it affects memory formation or processing. Sure! It's an explanation. Is it any better than "Damn, Anakin must have mindwhammied her"? I don't think it is, personally.

[zerosuitsammi3]

What, is this write Sammie Poems?

Gotta compliment her, I will Glow em...

UP! and up, we take the compliments to the top.

Just like she does, to her friends non stop.

Sammie is the best, an absolute Queen.

All the girlies on here say she's the best they've ever seen.

She might deny, but we don't buy...

any self doubt she has, Sith master: like that small fry!

With titles like, that you best go lookin

to mess with someone else, cuz you'll get a whoopin,

If not from her, then all of her friends.

We got each other's backs until the end.

With a heart as big as hers, all her friends love her so.

But even an ACE like me would play those bongos real slow.

(respectfully of course), I would never force.

Games and hanging out is fun, we could even ride a horse.

*takes your mind out of the gutter* why'd you go there?

If your heart did flutter, I meant a Mare.

Stop derailing this, its a compliment track for Sammie Miss.

Her face is likely red, from me saying this,

But Sammie you are great, I guess that's the gist!

Aweeeeee that's so sweet Dani I love it! But I would never ride a horse. Horses scare the ever loving shit out of me with their gnarly chompers and big dark eyes no no no.

[kcrabb88]

I'm curious about your take on 26 for the Yet another writing ask!

26. What would you describe as OOC?

Everyone has different takes on characters, and pays attention to different aspects of said characters, but I tend to define OOC as getting core character traits wrong. A character doing something they would never do just to fit the plot is the worst sin for me when it comes to this sort of thing. If you want a character to do something they normally wouldn't, you gotta show me why. You gotta build to it. I've been thinking a lot about this with Star Wars lately, whenever I see, say, a Sith Obi-Wan AU. That, for me, goes against any and everything I know about that character. I don't mind if people have fun with it! But it's OOC for me in a way that I can't really interact with personally.

I also think about this a lot when transferring characters from a period piece into say, a modern AU. You can't just transplant a character from say, the 19th century (taking Les Amis, for instance) and put them into modern day with no consideration of how a period would change a character. Like, Enjolras would still be Enjolras in a modern AU, still very in it for the cause, still serious, still loves his friends, but the level of his intensity would probably not be quite the same. He might have more hobbies than he does in canon. Growing up in a society trying to get rid of an entrenched monarchy is different than growing up in a society that started to democratically backslide, you know? This is a very Les Mis centric answer, but my point is you have the same traits, but you meld them with the time period you're working in.

[tiredassmage]

4,6,16 for whoever is on your mind

I think we should harass Len. I think we should make him be social. xD

[OCs as NPCs]

4. Where would you recruit them from?

Setting aside considerations of the how, likely Taris or Tatooine - in general, somewhere where the law of the land is a bit more... nebulous, or, at the very least, probably somewhere that's contested. The thick of things is often where the best credits (and best action) are to be found and you're unlikely to find him anywhere else. Unless it's the cantina. Then you could be a fine sport and buy him a drink.

While he definitely runs more freelance these days, you'll still likely find him on Imperial lines. He might've left Black Ops behind, but he's far from having swapped sides.

I suppose as a sort of bonus because I can't quite uncouple the set, regarding 2 & 3, he would absolutely be a class companion (and exclusively an Imperial class, though I'd table considerations for probably any of those 4) and he is not showing up to help you with Zakuul unless you were already acquainted from vanilla. You couldn't pay him enough to cozy up with a bunch of Republic dogs otherwise. Lensan's really ride or die once you actually earn whatever... weird ideas of loyalty he does have, but until then, you're a job and he's just here to punch his ticket and move on to the next one.

He's still gonna gripe your ear off about growing soft or something, but he supposes he'd owe you that much of a favor, after everything.

6. What would be their original recruitment outfit?

Hmmmm. A little tricky since I'm parsing generally without too much thought into exact backstory and how you'd run into him, but I do love any excuse to play dressup with my idiots, lol.

Probably something like so? Len's admittedly a bit reckless and probably doesn't wear nearly the amount of armor you'd think he should for someone who prefers the guns blazing approach.

16. What’s their idle chatter like? Do they talk a lot (when you arrive on each planet) or do they suddenly say something in some strange places?

Probably on the less chatty side. More likely to drop you a random gunslinging tall tales in the middle of nowhere. [Insert Ratatouille "I once killed a man with THIS THUMB"]. He might drop you a war story comment or two at a few of the spaceports based on his service with Imperial Black Ops - likely something when you pass through Corellia about the Empire's mission there. Particularly on Tatooine or Rishi, you might get a comment about swindling some of the locals out in a game of cards and some good drinks - or maybe you should just shoot them? That's faster. Gotta show you mean business, after all.

He's also probably got a smart remark or three for visiting Alderaan's nobility. He prefers action to boring diplomacy, so what dialogue he does give you probably reflects that. xD He's maybe a touch trigger happy, but you've got an image to maintain as some of the biggest badasses in the galaxy, right?

I'd also like to imagine he'd ask what kind of credits you think the Sith are willing to dish out when you pass through the Citadel in Dromund Kaas. "Whatever you're thinking, probably double it. With the right client." It's a little obscene what Imperials are willing to dish out for a professional to keep things nice and quiet. 💅

[alolanroy]

2024 Watch Thread Part 5

part 4 https://www.tumblr.com/alolanroy/753737344319930369/2024-watch-thread-part-4?source=share

Berserk Boy: At a certain point I realized I hadn't played it in a month. I think the gameplay is alright, but that's about it. The sprite scaling looks weird and the character design doesn't gel with the Megaman ZX sensibilities. Terrible hoverbike section. 5/10

Warcraft: Putting the Mid in Middle Earth. Without the context of the series, I was never engaged by the movie. The humans were bland and the story felt less interested in a complete story than a beachhead for a franchise. 5/10

Half Life: Blue Shift: Glad I participated in the community event to boost this old game's all-time player count. As a game it didn't really wow me. I think it was overreliant on barrel pushing puzzles when barrel pushing doesn't work well in a few instances. Dispite a few baffling bugs that cost me maybe a combines 25 minutes, it was a quick and enjoyable romp. 6/10

Skyrim: Sirenroot: This may be the most atmospheric mod I've played thus far. This mod makes this one dungeon more gorgeous than anything in the base game by far, and the music sets a really spooky tome. I like that I didn't immediately catch what was going on with the multiple-character paths. While it doesn't equate to any kind of tangible reward, the characters are interesting enough that getting everyone to survive is intrinsically rewarding enough. 8/10

Skyrim: Wyrmstooth: It might be reductive to refer to it as just 'more skyrim' but that opinion congealed when I was stuck doing blackreach again. Some of the quests are fun, but some of the unmarked ones deserved to be marked quests. 6/10

DanDaDan (3 episode premier): I knew nothing about DanDaDan going into this since I was invited by a friend. PEAK. It's understandable how much hay the preroll interviews made about the direction and shot composition. 8/10

Iron Warrior: While I wouldn't say this film was altogether entertaining, the ethereal visuals and dream logic made it a unique watch. I'd like to watch a cut of this without any dialogue, since its story is mostly visuals until the lore-heavy last sprint. Honestly, we gotta put Trogar in a Star Wars, this guy is pure Sith. 6/5/10

Bleach Thousand Year Blood War S1-2: This all-killer-no-filler approach to a bleach adaptation is a real brisk shower after muscling through the Arancar arc. However, some of the fights feel a little too short. It betrays that some of them consist of a handful of attacks and prescribed reversals of fortune. Especially towards the end, I could feel the series sputter as characters the viewer aren't super invested in square off. Points for the great soundtrack. 7/10

Mars Daybreak: A great premise and fun initial hints at worldbuilding got me in, but the energy left my body as it went nowhere. We never really get to know the cast in any meaningful way and there's charitably one character arc. Nothing gets resolved only in the last two episodes to they rush to figure out what they're doing. The robots are sauceless. Theres enough endearing material, but I regret committing to finishing it 5.10

This is Spinal Tap: my watch group didn’t have context going in, so the first few minutes of trying to figure out of this was a mockumentary was a real treasure. While prone to dry spells, when it hits, it hits. 7/10

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #268: Space Ishtar

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we've got a complicated build! Specifically, we're building Ashtart, Space Ishtar, and Ashtart Origin... all in a single build. You'd think building a sith lord, a bounty hunter, and a literal universe all in a single build would be hard, but it turns out the answer is Horizon Walker Ranger. Plus a bit of Twilight Cleric for extra space effects. Again, we apologize for any formatting issues, they should be fixed by the Calamity build this Sunday.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet here!

Next up: Two aces, two eights.

Also it's time to announce the winners of the raffle for this year's viewer choice builds! We'll have the builds for Ophelia Pharmacy and Morgan Le Fay ready for the anniversary next month, so stay tuned!

Race and Background

The Space Ishtars... are not humans! For once! They're the shattered fragments of a dead god. So much less complicated, right? But we need force powers and I doubt we'll ever have an excuse to use them again, so we're making them the Astral Plane-dwelling Githyanki. This gives them +2 Wisdom and +1 Dexterity, as well as proficiency in Survival and a couple weapons (which you'd get anyway). They also get Githyanki Psionics, letting them cast an invisible Mage Hand at will. Plus, you cast Jump at third level and Misty Step at 5th level, both once a day.

We're trying to start with Ashtart here since she's ascension 1, so that means we're making her a Space Shinsengumi Operative, from the Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica. Don't ask what the Space Shinsengumi were doing there, it's just going to cause a bigger headache. Anyway, this gives her proficiency in Deception and Stealth, as well as an expanded spell list we'll barely make use of.

Ability Scores

Dexterity is number 1. One of you uses short swords, the other a gun, and none of you have medium armor on. After that is Wisdom- #3 tends to favor magical bullshit, and that's what we're casting with. Plus, if you're going to hunt bounties, you gotta find 'em first. Charisma is also pretty high, you've got the devil's sugar after all. Honestly that just sounds like a suburban way to say cocaine. Either way it makes your charisma good. Your Constitution is honestly a little lower than I'd want it. If only universe-sized attacks can affect you, that's... a lot of HP. Your Strength is pretty low though, we're just not using it. By process of elimination, we're dumping Intelligence. You might be from the future, but you're just as bad with technology as any other rinface.

Class Levels

Ranger 1: Starting off as a ranger has its perks. You get proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saves, plus three skills. Athletics will make up for the low strength, Investigation to use futuristic gadgets to scan a crime scene, and Perception to shoot good. When you're the size of a universe, you have to be good at picking out details. You also gain a Favored Enemy, and since Ashtart Origin's all about destroying the servantverse, we'll be picking up 2 humanoids for every option here. I'd love to dig through my entire library just to see what the most common servant races are, but really you should just pick the best options for your campaign anyway. This feature gives you advantage on survival and intelligence checks involving your favored enemy, as well as an additional language. Since space isn't a Natural Explorer option, we're doing with Deft Explorer instead for doubled proficiency in Survival. Tracking people down on a single planet is hard enough, let alone when you get space involved.

Ranger 2: Second level fighters get a fighting style, and since Ashtart's up first we're getting Two-Weapon Fighting so you can dual-wield. We also learn some Spells for the first time that you cast with Wisdom. Pick up Detect Magic for another futuristic scanner and Jump for more force leaps. I know you get one for free next level, but now you can use it more often. Preparedness is key in space, at least according to Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual.

Ranger 3: At third level you can finally turn your sabers into lightsabers thanks to the Horizon Walker's Planar Warrior feature, spending your bonus action to activate your sword against a specific creature. The next time you hit them this turn you deal extra damage and it all turns into force damage too. You can also Detect Portals within a mile of you once a short rest so you'll know when humanity's last master enters the servantverse. Or when your Amazones package arrives, either-or. you also get a whole lotta spells thanks to your horizon walking and primal awareness. PA spells can also be cast once day for free, so you won't have to use a spell slot for speak with animals when you crash land on that junk planet with all the kitties on it. you also get protection from evil and good so your goddess core protects you from possession and all that, and you can light up your lightsabers even more for a searing smite, which'll keep burning your enemy if they fail a constitution save!

ranger 4: use your first ability score improvement to bump up your dexterity so your sabers find their mark more often!

Ranger 5: Fifth level rangers get an Extra Attack each action (not your bonus action), as well as second level spells. Your Primal Awareness spell is Beast Sense, letting you see and hear through a willing beast for up to an hour. I don't remember anything like this in Saber Wars II, but you could probably flavor it as a surveillance drone. You also get Misty Step which you'd get anyway and Locate Object. We're arguably still working on the first ascension right now, but we might as well get a present for the second ascension as we go. Stick a tracking device on your foes and you'll know their location if they're within 1000 feet of you!

Ranger 6: Sixth level rangers get another round of Favored Enemies as well as Deft Explorer, giving you Roving speed. A roving ranger has 5' of extra movement, and you gain a climbing and swimming speed. Your experience in zero gravity helps you walk on walls and swim through the air.

Ranger 7: Seventh level horizon walkers have an Ethereal Step, letting you incorporeate for a turn as a bonus action once per short rest. This lets you move in any direction and pass through most objects, though you can't interact with the material plane again until the spell ends. You can also Enhance Ability, giving yourself advantage on one kind of skill check. Choose Charisma to lay on the devil's sugar, Dexterity for extra flips in your swordfighting, or Wisdom to track your mark even easier. It's quite versatile.

ranger 8: ok, enought of the first ascension, let's get that second ascension! use this asi to get the fighting initiate feat for some archery skills- that's a +2 on all your ranged weapon attack rolls! you also get the land's stride, so you can move through difficult terrain super easy.

cleric 1: wow, we're speedin right along to third ascension already! bumpin over to twilight cleric gives you a whole new list of spells (check the phb to see how multiclassing works), plus you have supercharged darkvision with Eyes of the Night for 300' of darkvision and the ability to share it with other creatures once a day, or with a spell slot. you'll also always shoot first thanks to your vigilant blessing, giving one creature advantage on their next initiative. good bounty hunters always shoot first, at least until the remakes! pick up guidance to be good at everything with a +1d4 on your next skill check, light for a proper light saber, and thaumaturgy to act like the god you are. you also get first level spells like faerie fire and sleep, but what we really want is command to lead the shinsengumi, detect evil and good to find your other fragments, and spiritual weapon for ashtart origin's weird ball thing that you can attack with as a bonus action.

ranger 9: ninth level rangers get third level spells, and you get a lot of them. your universal translator now lets you speak to plants. you also get more speed with the haste spell, doubling your speed, giving you an extra action (with caveats), and a +2 bonus to your ac! plus, you can turn your sword into an elemental weapon for an even hotter lightsaber.

ranger 10: tenth level rangers are tireless, giving you a bonus action that'll cover you in star stuff for some temporary hp, and you lose exhaustion on short rests! You can also go ghost with nature's veil to turn invisible for a round as a bonus action proficiency times a day. the universe is mostly nothing anyway, so just spread out a bit.

Cleric 2: Speaking of spreading out, second level twilight clerics can use their Channel Divinity option Twilight Sanctuary to cover yourself in twilight for a minute. Whenever a creature ends its turn in your universe, you can give it temporary HP or end an effect charming or frightening it. Your goddess core will protect you from the more common status effects. You can also use it to Turn Undead, and you get one channel divinity use a short rest.

Cleric 3: Third level clerics get second level spells like the freebies Moonbeam and See Invisibility. Also, pick up Hold Person for a force choke, and Lesser Restoration to cover up any status effects your Twilight Sanctuary won't take care of.

Ranger 11: Eleventh level horizon walkers can make Distant Strikes, letting you teleport up to 10 feet each attack. In addition, if you attack two different creatures you can attack a third as well! You can also protect yourself from anything less than a universe-ending threat with Gaseous Form. It prevents you from attacking or casting spells, but you can fly and move through small gaps, plus you have resistance to all nonmagical damage.

Ranger 12: to help with that literally universal protection, use this ASI to pick up the Tough feat for 30 extra HP now, and an extra 2 every time you level up.

Ranger 13: Thirteenth level rangers get fourth level spells like your Primal Awareness spell Locate Creature. It also has a limit of 1,000 feet, but you don't have to know what they've got on them to do it. Plus, this one lasts an hour, not ten minutes. you also pick up Guardian of Nature. pick the primal beast option for Ashtart, increasing your walking speed, giving you advantage on strength-based attacks (don't use this part), and making your melee weapons deal force damage. for Spishtar and Ashtart Origin, check out the great tree. you get temporary HP, make constitution saves with advantage as well as dex and wisdom based attacks, and the area around you is difficult terrain for enemies. also you can use Banishment to yeet people back to their home plane if they're not already there. the astral plane is only for you. and the other yous, I guess.

Ranger 14: a fourteenth level ranger can Vanish as a bonus action. it's literally just letting you hide easier. you also can't be found nonmagically, but this is the point where most spellcasters have ninth level spells, people are probably finding you magically. on the plus side, you get another favored enemy! so... yeah, that's this level.

Ranger 15: okay, back on the "I will never die" train. your last goody from your subclass is Spectral Defense, letting you give yourself resistance to an attack's damage as a reaction. no limit on this one either. You can also use Freedom of Movement, if you want to spend a fourth level spell slot on something you can already do as a bonus action. I guess use this if you get arrested in the astral plane? ah well, doubling down usually isn't a terrible idea.

Ranger 16: use your last ASI to finally give Spishtar a break with the Crossbow Expert feat. Now you can attack with a crossbow multiple times an action, you can use ranged attacks in melee, and you can get a shot in with a hand crossbow even while dual-wielding.

Ranger 17: our final level is actually a pretty spicy one this time, since seventeenth level rangers get fifth level spells. you can Commune with Nature to learn the general layout of the planet you're on, and you also get the closest thing D&D has to a spaceship, the Teleportation Circle. It takes a minute to set up, but it creates a portal to any other teleportation circle on this plane of existence for a round, and you can create a permanent one wherever you like by casting it once a day for a year. we end this build with one last spell, but we're letting you make a choice. pick up Conjure Volley for extra firepower for Spishtar, or Steel Wind Strike for some impressive lightsaber action on Ashtart's end. either way, it'll be a bloodbath.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

with almost 200 hp, options for healing, and a ton of ways to cut down incoming damage, this build can be incredibly tanky when it wants to be. and if you're ever in a sticky situation, you have plenty of options to get out of there and escape to fight another day, prolonging the season finale yet again.

being three people also gives you quite a bit of variety in a fight, with options for melee, ranged, and magical combat!

outside of combat you are fantastic at tracking down enemies, especially if they happen to be humanoid.

Cons:

having so much variety makes it hard to focus on just one kind of combat, so you're not as powerful as someone who just does melee, or ranged, or magic.

your concentration saves are also pretty bad, so expect Ashtart's hastes and elemental weapons to end earlier than you'd like.

having so many redundancies packed in means you probably won't run out of an important part of your kit, but it also makes a couple of level-ups less impactful. like how level 17 gives you practically nothing to work with.