#gtg im studying

[faaun]

can one of u shoot me in the head actually what is wrong w me ???

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

i,m alive

[iworshipsappho]

referring to your tags on the tamil poetry post

the thing about cramming taking the fun and beauty out of languages is SO fucking real and i hate it sm (thanks indian education <3).

this reminds me of sanskrit when i learnt it in school bc at one point i started to hate in it 10th standard bc ONLY the marks mattered (plus the teacher who took out tuition at home was a bhakt who said the most inane and genocidal shit about muslim folks but that's another story)

and fuck...tamil sounds difficult to learn sdkhksdf. reminds me so much of malayalam with its koot-aksharam which are so difficult to figure out lol. according to my mom, malayalam grammar is hella difficult too so...yay

anyway power to tamil poets aksjhksd with all those strict grammar rules like wtf. thinking of shakespeare on the other hand who did whatever the fuck he wanted to do

(also psst psst gimme some good tamil poem recs na...i will try and search for its translations)

asdhsfhsk yeah the indian education system is so fucked in several aspects :') and yeah shitty teachers just ruin everything (the entitlement some of them have-)

tamil used to be so easy to learn back in like 1st-3rd grade bc as a mother tongue it was just very simple as we werent expected to actually write in like very proper tamil and the lessons were simple enuf. shit went bad in 4th grade and its been downhill ever since. the lessons are fun when u learn them but even then the teachers need to be like nice and interactive or you'll just fall asleep during class (which has unfortunately happened more than once this year for me)

and like when our teacher was talking about the yaapu illakkanam (grammar for poetry) i remember the whole class just groaning bc the only thing we were thinking was "if its so difficult why do we still have so many poems to study😭😭" i truly do not understand how thiruvalluvar, bhaarathiyar, avvaiyar and so much more wrote so many works- like ?????! honestly speaking english writer's have so much creative freedom and like they do smth that "breaks" the rules of grammar? boom genius who goes beyond what is accepted and is considered one of the greatest ever ashdsjfkgh

and for the poem recs hmm- i mean we have the staple thirukkural and avvaiyaar's athichoodi. the latter was one of the first ever set of poems we were taught when our languages started, its pretty simple to understand and like the starting letter of each line is in the order of the uyirezhuthukkal. and we have like 20 thirukkurals to learn each year so- (i have to learn and memorise ten and their meanings for just tmrw's exam :'])

but the poem i was talking about in post was இளைய தோழனுக்கு by மு.மேத்தா... and honestly that is one of the very few poems, like i said, that i actually enjoy fdhfjshgk

and sorry to disappoint, but even tho i have been studying and speaking in tamil for as long as i can remember, i cant remember any of the good poems ive read/learned 😭😭 my mind is just like blank except for the stuff ive studied for tmrw :')))

(will definitely let you know if i remember or come across smth nice, maybe that will help me actually develop an interest in the language...)

[hauntedparadisebandana]

Thinking about Desmond and the gang in a modern au😋

Desmond successfully secured a job at a local coffee shop in town, it has relatively nice pay, easy to do, and he needed a distraction between his classes. Yet besides the rush hour or lunch, he has nothing to do, really. Luckily today was the day the supervisor watched the work in the shop (he despises these days), so he has to run around acting like he's actually getting work done for three hours.

He swept the floor three times, mopped twice, and reorganized the already organized creamers and sugars. Every time he finished a task, the supervisor would nod to him with a smile and walk off to hover he other co-workers. Finally it was his break, he pulled out a sandwich and sat at a table in the back near the far window, while eating his very dry turkey and cheese (he didn't add mayo because he forgot to buy some more) he got a text.

Group of idiots

*Becca* 10:00

>what time are u guys done with classes today????

>let's get food!😋

*Lulu* 10:01

>well I don't get out of class until 11, and I really need to catch up on work Bec.

*Stickintheass* 10:03

>rebecca, unlike you, some people have work to do. I have to finish my paper tonight.

*Becca* 10:05

>booooo, u guys are no fun. Des?🙏🏽

>don't leave me hanging😢

Desmond let out a chuckle before replying

*Dessyboy* 10:07

>I wish, but I'm stuck at work till 12😔

*Becca* 10:08

>UGHHHH I can't believe u guys😩

>wait I got an idea

>what about a study date kinda thing?

*Stickintheass* 10:08

>Absolutely not. Every time we do a "study date," you always end up distracting me and I get no work done. Plus you don't even study.

*Becca* 10:09

>I swear I'll do work the time, pinky promiseeeeee.

*Stickintheass* 10:10

>😮‍💨

*Becca* 10:11

>So is that a yessss?????

*Stickintheass* 10:12

>fine. I'll go.

*Becca* 10:12

>YAYYY

>Lu we'll meet up with u at 11 and then we'll go to des's job to mess with him until he's off work.

*Lulu* 10:14

>👍👍👍

>I gtg, talk later

*Dessyboy* 10:15

>hey I didn't agree yet

*Shaun* 10:16

>you don't have too, you're going. If I have to suffer, you have to too. Plus, I don't think Rebecca will let you off the hook.

*Dessyboy* 10:16

>ok🥲

Sighing, he threw away his trash and got back to doing the same thing over and over again until his friends arrived. While fake sweeping for what felt like the 50th time, the bell above the door jingled, and in walked Shaun, Rebecca, and Lucy. Rebecca waved with much enthusiasm while Shaun rolled his eyes. Lucy chuckled and shook her head at the two, they always irritate eachother, despite living together and studying the same field.

They sit at a booth and talk amongst themselves quietly as Desmond walks over.

"Hey guys, how's your life besides mine?"

Rebecca chuckled "yo des, im great actually, why do you make it seem like you're in hell right now?"

"Because I am. I've been repeating the same tasks for 3 hours trying to make it seem like I'm actually doing something."

"Well dont worry, you'll be off soon. It's only 30 more minutes." Shaun states.

And like Shaun said, the 30 minutes seemed to fly by. He was soon hanging his apron in his locker, grabbing his bag, and leaving the employees' only room.

"Finally free from hell guys, so where are we going?" He adjusts him backpack straps.

"Ummmm we haven't actually established that yet. What about the little Ceasars a few blocks down?"

Shaun groaned "Rebecca we ate there last week."

"It won't hurt to eat there again. It's pizza of course. Oh and let's walk, the fall weather is nice at this time."

The group left the coffee shop and started the walk to the local little Cesars they eat at every other week. None of them actually want to eat there, but it's cheap, and they haven't done any grocery shopping yet. Upon walking in, the group gets hit with the smell of fresh pizza. Desmonds stomach growls as a reaction, all he had was that dry turkey sandwich way earlier in his shift, so he was practically starving.

Once more, they pick a booth big enough to fit them all. Ordering a large pepperoni, they chow down on it while "studying" (writing down things and forgetting about it).

"Sooooo how's classes going for you guys?" Lucy questions to break the silence of them stuffing pizza in their faces.

Desmond is quick to complain, "Ugh, don't even get me started on my professor, biggest asshole on the planet. On top of that, I have a final due soon."

"Sucks to be you, my friend. Me on the other, I completed my final yesterday so I am free from the pain and suffering of work and worries." Rebecca laughs

"Whateverrr."

Shaun glances down at his watch, sighing upon seeing the time. "I'll have to make my leave soon. After noon classes."

"Seriously? But we just got here!"

"Rebecca, it's been two hours. Plus, you weren't studying anyway, and we have the same class to attend idiot."

"Ah. Right," she rubs the back of her neck sheepishly.

"I'll leave with you guys," Lucy quips. "I to have afternoon classes."

Desmond sighs at this, giving all his friends a hug before they are off to class again, leaving him bored.

"Bye guys...."

"Desmond, stop making that face, we're literally all roommates. We'll see you later tonight." Rebecca pinches his cheek and runs after Shaun and Lucy, who are already in the car.

Group of idiots

*Dessyboy* 2:03

>it was fun being able to hang out again😿

*Stickintheass* 2:04

>God stop with the dramatics, we'll see you later.

*Dessyboy* 2:04

>but still, I'm bored now

*Lulu* 2:05

>des, there is plenty to do around here. And why are you texting us already, we just left.

*Dessyboy* 2:05

>😮‍💨

>fine

*Becca* 2:06

>all love dessy😚

*Dessyboy* 2:07

>love you guys too

>oh by the way, can someone please go to the store later and pick up some mayo?

>....

>guys???

>Lu? Becca? Shaun?

>guys please I'm tired of eating a dry turkey and cheese for lunch 😭

[an-academic-weapon]

February 8th, 2024, Thursday

Had my first quiz this semester but my score is yet to be revealed since it wasn’t checked on the day but I knew most of it (so i’m guessing i only have like 1-2 mistakes prob)

we also had a suprise mini quiz on Abnormal psychology so i wasn’t able to study at all but thankfully i always read the book and listen to class so i got the highest score together w a few of my classmates (only had 1 mistake). we were told to stand up starting from perfect score.

as someone w a high need of validation, i was kinda disappointed i didn’t get the perfect mark (since it would mean im the only one who got it). but this just makes me wanna study more so yeah gtg study

🎧: illicit affairs (angry version) - taylor swift

[mariamlovesyou]

things im worried about

1) feel like a bitch bc i basically was like. gtg to my brother bc my last 2 brain cells cannot compute anything anymore and i have a lot to get done before an inspection in 2 hours

2) my phone is taking forever to charge and i need it to get back home

3) if it doesn't charge enough and i have to stay longer n miss the bus i cant afford an uber and even if i did i have an overdue payment on the app rn

4) need to make sure the food in the oven doesn't burn while i think

5) need to finish filling in this study load application and send it to nurse before my food finishes

6) i have to email her quickly first and ask what grounds to pick

7) i have to call every listing number that hasn't picked up yet today which is like.. 5 of them plus follow up on 3 others before end of business day

8) i barely slept or ate and im gonna pass out

9) violent

[tinecan]

college [ entry #2 ]

it's been a while since i posted. after entry #1 i went and ghosted u jshdjwfhdjjhasbh anw, college na ako !! well, second semester na of my first year as a college student and i could say na it has been a roller coaster ride for me.

i still feel lost. sabi nila, it's normal to feel lost especially when you're a freshman and you'll get used to it naman but honestly, i don't think im moving xd. jk okay, meron namang mga baby steps pero i don't think it's improving huhu. okay, since matagal din ako nang ghost here let me tell you about the roller coaster of my college life so far :').

first, you won't believe this pero i was really THAT# close to being so broken-hearted nung october - november and it sucks like A LOT. since ppl might see this, i won't disclose that much info kase i want it to only be private pero ayun muntik na :'( but im glad that was just a phase. i also met new people and they are very VERY solid - they have been the cause of my happiness sa college life ko and everything im so thankful to have them around. i also met alec's friends sa feu tech and im enjoying a lot sa kanila huhu these ppl are gems and they make me forget about college stress. unfortunately, may mga free trial lang na friendships and isa na dun yung dalawa naming friend from first sem (hi college frenz i kno kilala niyo to jajhadj) no to ppl who invalidates u! remember the entry #1 wherein i ranted about feeling left out? well, my college friends really knows how to handle someone feeling left out and im very grateful huhu.

what happened to my antipolo friends? wala. they are still the same. may nag-away tho pero nagka ayos din naman and im so very thankful kase they are my og - my home ganern. my antipolo friends are a breath of fresh air literally one call away friends. im missing antipolo sm :( i forgot to mention na lumipat na ako sa qc and i have been staying here ever since college started. tho nagpupunta pa din naman akong antips anytime im free, iba pa din yung dun ka umuuwi araw-araw :[ im really, really nangungulila na kase i miss home. i miss my room, annoying my siblings, chikas with mommy, and especially miyuki!!!! GRRRR. I WANNA FAST FORWARD TO VACATION !

lately, im proud of my grades coz i can really see na nag improve ako (im not lying) yung standard and pressure na napunta sakin nung shs is tumaas ngayon hnggg i really wanna make ppl around me proud *cue this is me trying by taylor swift* ayun.. college life so far is... unexplainable. altho i got to try new things din naman! i won't tell specifically tho pero manila really changed me a lot and aminado din naman ako nung hs ako na i was certain manila will change me so im not even so shocked rn. pero ayun.. i kinda miss the jhs me hsahshhas i miss everything about highschool. i miss afcs. i can't believe im studying in feu now i think my soul is still stuck in 2019 hwhahwhahshaha.

anyways, i gtg! may pasok pa ako bukas it's currently 12am na. im gonna see alec tomorrow like i always do kapag vacant if hindi sila mag comp shop for their tournament practice sa valorant (im claiming na they will win hihi) im gonna tell u all about my day soon ulit! promise i won't ghost for long na HJHGDHADA XD. bye!

02/27/2023

[dwtdog]

ok I gtg catch the train and go to work :<

talk to ya latteeeerrrrrR!!! good luck with studying L

: )

~ Oz

nice chatting :DDD gl with work 🫡 also i lied im working on a dnf fic instead of studying heheheheh

[daidoruyume]

Chapter 12 Meeting the not so idol-like idols

I'd say I'm quite lucky. I study in a nice university, I have a good job, I live in a pretty good apartment and, oh, don't envy me, but the idol I've been stanning for years, my absolute favorite one, is my girlfriend. Try beating that! I woke up to her voice, since it was my ringtone. Once I checked my phone, I saw there were messages waiting for me.

good morning 🌞

did you sleep well? 😴 

let's have a nice day today too

i can't wait to spend some time with you

and to introduce you to the girls

good morning!!

i did… and you?

im very excited for today…

i still can't believe this

i was a little anxious but i did sleep well eventually 

well, you better believe it

because i will make you the happiest girl in the world

❤️

you're very flirty aren't you

i like that though

hehe

i hope we get the opportunity to flirt a lot

i have practice now 😞 

i'll send you some pictures later

exclusive content you can't have even in the fanclub

when are you free today?

i'll be looking forward to that!!!

i don't have work today so right after lunch

again im very excited

kay

i will have someone pick you up so dw

im excited too 

i have to introduce you as a friend though 

if you dont mind that

it's okay

it's better to be careful

so tge don't know you're gay?

not yet but I'll tell them soon

and then i will introduce you properly

i promise

sure♡

i'll be your #1 supporter

you're the sweetest girl ever

that's why i love you so much

uhhh

gtg :(((((

will be back soon tho

plz never hesitate to send me a message 

i'll be waiting for it

♡♡♡

i won't ♡

i have classes soon 😩 

enjoy your work day♡dont push yourself too hard

you're really good at this support thing

you too

 I went back to my routine and did everything I had to do… with a lot of happiness in my heart.

☆☆☆

  My classmates didn't know, but I was the luckiest girl on Earth. I guess my happiness couldn’t be helped. I tried my best to pay attention to classes, but I Kept thinking about how my day would go. After a few hours, that same car from yesterday brought me to the place Miyuu chose. I was thinking about what to tell that complex-looking woman when she started speaking.

 "You know... Miyuu is a very special girl. I haven't been the best mom ever, but she is the best daughter out there. She is quite annoying at times, and she stands by her youthful and somewhat foolish world peace ideals, but she is extremely sincere. She cries like a baby so often that it just bothers everyone around her, but she can make even a person like me smile. She loves you dearly. I know she would never fall in love with someone that didn't click with her, and with whom she couldn't have a reciprocal relationship, but I have to warn you, Mikami-san." She spoke so beautifully, So I waited for the next pretty words. "If you break her heart, I will find you and break both of your legs." She seemed serious, but washed it off with a laugh. This woman… We arrived, with me being unable to reply. 

 I was sent to the same room as yesterday, and had to wait for a few minutes. Soon, Miyuu entered the room quite softly.  

"Sorry to leave you waiting."

"I-it's okay! H-how have you been?" I was still anxious, it seemed.

"Fine. Practice was tough, though. And you?"

"Also f-fine… I've been waiting for this moment the whole day." I wished Miyuu came closer to me, then I realized I could take those steps myself. So one, two, three steps later, I was closer to her. 

"S-so, c-can I hug you?" For someone that had kissed me twice, that was too cute. I opened my arms, inviting her.

☆☆☆

 We talked for a while, and soon the girls arrived. I had met them before, but only as their idol-selves. And Miyuu warned me, saying they could be a little... too much? The story Miyuu told me she would go by is that we became friends in the infirmary that day, because if she said we just met out of nowhere, they could remember I was a fan. 

 "Miyuukiii~. So, you're introducing her?"

"Y-yeah…" She gave me a sign to introduce myself.

"I'm Mikami Yuuka. You can call me Yuu-chan. I have been a fan for a long time, but Miyuu-san and I were able to become friends…"

"Please be nice to her, she's a really good girl." That made me blush a little…

"Well, Miyuu-kun has friends outside of the group? That's a miracle." Rin said, laughing. "God, you're gonna hate idols after meeting the real me." That scared me a little.

"I'm really happy my sister has a friend! She can be hard to understand sometimes, so be patient." Said Anna.

 They talked to me one by one as if it was my personal MC session. But, when it came to Yume…

"Yumecchi, you're not gonna say anything?"

"Huh! That's a new low for you, she has absolutely no class. The way she dresses, that hairstyle… and going on a diet would be good for you, Mi-something-san." Wait, what…?

"Ugh, d-don't mind her, she's just joking." Miyuu had a troubled face, and Yume had left. 

"She's always like that… Seriously, that girl gets on my nerves. Yuu-chan, you're very welcome to the family and we're so happy you're in her life. Miyuu talked about you ever since the concert, nonstop. Please don't mind Yumeko-san." Keiko said wisely. Her words did hurt me, but I remained strong. I was able to talk freely to the other girls afterwards, and the pain eased.

 Those words, I’ve heard countless times before, from people who claimed to love me and for people who explicitly hated me. But I still had this more pure image of Yume, that was destroyed in a few seconds. I got to learn that their relationship isn’t really good, and that her “chara” of being sometimes curt or mean to the other girls isn’t actually a chara, but she being herself. Again, I felt bad, but the other girls’ kindness compensated for my pain. 

 They are a little different than the idols I knew. Rin is… she is very sincere and straightforward, but half of her vocabulary is swear words or… filthy, indecent stuff. Like, she says it all so fluently. Ayumi is just as shy, but also shines so much when she has the opportunity to talk about her academic life. Keiko really does act like the mom of the group, and is really cute to see. But she also doesn’t restrain herself so much when compared to how she’s onstage. Satomi is more playful, I think they let themselves be more free… Anna is pretty much the same, I’ll admit. Yuzu is a little like Rin, and I swear to God she was hitting on me…? Maybe my confidence skyrocketed because of Miyuu, but she was really flirty and Miyuu got all defensive. It was kind of cute. 

 We had a lot of fun talking, and then we went to the kitchen where Keiko started cooking for us. She said she wanted me to taste her food, and that she was really excited for that. I was really happy. They brought in a guitar and Satomi started playing it, while they sang acoustic versions of their songs. It felt really good to have people I have been following one-sidedly to finally perceive me as a person. The Yume incident aside, I felt very blessed. Happily, we ate the great meal she had cooked us and it felt overall very warm and comforting. 

 One by one they left, only Anna remained there and I assumed they lived with their family. She went to her room and Miyuu took me to hers. It was… very Miyuu-like, I guess. Many anime posters, lots of photos of the girls, very yellow (her favorite color). Her wardrobe, despite being an idol, was very simple, and she told me there were some fabrics she simply couldn’t wear, and that she liked the combo of pants and rock T-shirts. It suited her, I guess. That photo we took remained in a special place, in great view, as soon as you entered the room. The chekis we took in events were also placed in special places in my own home, but I felt like I was too crazy of a fan for her to see, at least for now. I didn’t know if she would be happy or not with how otaku I was when it came to midnight. 

 “So… sorry for that, earlier, she… she has it tough, okay?” Miyuu sat on her bed, and signed me to sit with her.

“S-sorry… I don’t feel really comfortable… sitting down on your bed.” Miyuu blushed, and I did too, so I explained it to her. “I have OCD… I don’t really like sitting on my bed with clothes I went out with, and I would feel bad if I were to sit in yours, even if you don’t mind it.” I felt a little silly…

“T-that’s okay! Uhh, can you sit in this chair here? It’s not that comfortable, though.” 

“I-it’s fine! Thanks… for understanding…” 

“It’s okay… I’ll always understand your don’ts and won’ts. Don’t worry, ‘kay?” She reassured me. “B-but I really want to tell you to not hold a grudge… Yumecchi is hard to understand… I think I came to understand her pretty well, but she’s very uneasy. Time will make you two friends, I promise.” 

“That’s okay… like, it made me upset and all, but… I’ve been through it before. Many people have been like this to me. I’m not new to that.” I replied quite sadly.

“M-me too… and I’ll scold her, and talk her through it… but… I shouldn’t tell anyone this, but she grew up with a very abusive mother… so much so that she blames her for all of the bad things that have happened with her, so it’s not a surprise she would turn out like this. She doesn’t really know kind words and love.” Miyuu was a very empathic person…

“I will do my best to not think bad things about her. But I want you to tell her she crossed the line, those aren’t things you tell people. Especially if this person has always wished for your best.”

“O-of course.” Miyuu held my hands and gave me a little smile. “I’ll… I’ll always protect you, Yuu-chan…” That made me really, really happy. “T-there’s something I want to give you.”

“S-sure… what is it?”

“Close your eyes?” I did, and in a matter of seconds, I felt Miyuu’s soft lips melt into mine. “S-sorry, it’s not the kiss… you just looked so cute, I couldn’t contain myself.” Oh, Miyuu… I giggled and waited for what she had for me. “S-see, I’m an artist, right? I have this… please don’t find it creepy or anything like that.” She placed something in my hands, and then I opened my eyes. It was a purple wooden box, very decorated. I opened it, and there were many drawings of me. 

“Oh…”

“I-it’s okay if you don't like it… I just have been drawing you over the years, and I kept it here, a-and… wait, don’t cry!” I didn’t realize I was crying until she said that… it was really, so pretty… I felt so loved… I hurried up and gave her a hug. 

“It’s the cutest thing anyone has ever done to me… and you’re so skilled, Micchan…” 

“You think so?”

“Yeah…” She hugged me back. “Can we stay like this for a while?”

“I was going to ask you that, actually…” I could smell her sweet, delicate scent… she was also a great hugger, I was so happy. I wondered what she thought of me. Seemed to be only good things, from how tight she kept me into her arms. “Yuu-chan…” She called for me, her voice muffled by my shoulder. 

“Y-yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t… you don’t have to ask for it. You can just kiss me anytime.” I tried to be more assertive.

“R-right.” Her face grew closer to mine, and I closed my eyes, anticipating the kiss. It felt like I was in the embrace of an angel… w-well, not that you should be kissing angels anyways, but Miyuu had this… aura, something I couldn’t come up with words for. Something only she had… For the first time, her tongue entered my mouth. I was caught by surprise, but I understood Miyuu was a very passionate person, not just when it came to performing. I let her have her way with me, like it felt it would be a waste to do otherwise. She slowly but quite boldly pinned me to the wall, and her kiss was even more intense than before. I felt like I was melting into her, and I was surely running out of breath. She stopped for a moment and that gave me the opportunity to breathe, but when I thought it was over, our lips met again... It felt magical, and maybe I was a little scared too, but it was a good experience overall. 

 Miyuu had a strong grip on my body, as if she was claiming me. I couldn’t help but feel like my soul was about to be separated from my body… I loved her so much, I had wished for this to come true for so long… and I had her, right there… she was a little rough, although gentle at the same time, if… if that made any sense. I felt like my brain cells were giving in. She parted our lips again, and looked at me with an expression I have never seen before.

“S-sorry for being so… impulsive…”

“I-it’s okay.” I didn’t mind my own words, still quite numb from the sensations of our kissing, so I said: “I’ve fantasized about this for so long anyways”, without realizing those words had actually left my mouth. Instant regret. Miyuu opened her eyes and stared at me for a few seconds.

“You have?”

“W-well, I…” Would I ever have the courage to tell her I even wrote fanfictions of us two? Wasn’t that, like, too much? I felt like a loser and this time my soul had definitely left my body! “P-please forget that…” 

“I don’t want to rush… but whenever I’m with you, my brain doesn’t really work!” She confessed. “I wish I could be with you 24/7.” So that’s the effects of being separated for so long, huh?

“Me too… but I don’t think that kissing me like this is rushing… I think it’s okay.” Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was too in love to think straight. But we both wanted it, right?

“R-really?” 

“Y-yeah!” Before I could say anything else, Miyuu kissed me again… it was quite late when I got home, but I guess it was worth it… Miyuu was very talented, after all, so her being a great kisser wasn’t a surprise at all. She was just perfect in every way. And she was my girlfriend… I squirmed in bed, thinking of that, before I could fall asleep. Needless to say, we met in our dreams again…

 End of Part I.

[lunamothghost]

what more can I do?, I am still painting flowers for you

[mirohtron]

guilt

Guilt. Guilt was so... so ugly. So parasitical. Villain should've listened to the guilt in her heart, clawing in her chest. But the idiot didn't, she just wanted to kiss Hero, because who knew if a next time ever came? And now... now, she didn't even know how this was going to end.

Hero's lips parted, a small sob escaping her as she smiled gently, pushing her away and walking around the counter. Villain watched her run her fingers along the smooth, cold granite, wanting nothing more than to hold her hands gently and say, "I'm sorry. I love you, I mean it. And I'm so, so sorry."

"What's wrong?" Villain asked. Villain knew what was wrong. Hero knew about Villain, about how this person that she thought could trust was her mortal enemy, who she'd fought several times. Did Hero know when she showed her the scars Villain had given her in their fights? Villain's heart cracked at the thought. No, no, of course she didn't. Why would she do that?

"I'm not that stupid," Hero said, and Villain felt sick at how Hero said that so gently, so sweetly that she could hear the smile in her voice even when her face was turned away. "I've known it since you fainted near the buildings, and I still feel hopeless for you."

Villain felt it hard to speak. So she knew, and still showed her the scars. She felt it selfish to cry. "What?"

She turned around, tears falling down her face, weary. "You're Villain, darling. And I'm in love with you. As Villain and as a Civilian."

Guilt ate through her heart, heart breaking into a million pieces. She didn't cry. She couldn't cry. It was unfair. Everything was so unfair. How dare the universe make them both fall in love?

She didn't want to be Villain anymore. She'd stopped wanting ever since she met Hero as a civilian.

[nezhcs]

EXAMS END IN 16 HOURS CAN YOU TELL THAT IM EXCITED

[max-julyfield]

im a good mutual and i rb and like every post of my moots

be a good mutual

be like me

[rintaroll]

to the people who reblog my fics with tags, how do you like your eggs in the morning 😖

[taumoeba]

anyways all this to say that i find it so funny/wholesome that different states/areas/groups within the same area can all have different vocabularies just depending on who they spend their time around. i have been saying "ldoc" (el-doc) in place of "last day of class" since i was 16 and its crazy to me that other people literally dont know what im talking about when i bring it up

[vydumaj]

i definitely think that some things that are wrong with me can be traced back to me reading the hunger games as 10 year old and the hunger games being my first online fandom starting age 11-12 ........