#guess what: im not normal about this idea | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

t4tdanvis · 8 months

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if i said i was normal about this idea would. would u believe me

#❄.txt #guess what: im not normal about this idea #vylad wanting to clean up genes wounds but 1 gene wouldnt let him and 2 thatd make everyone really suspicious #itd also make gene suspicious that vylad actually cares about him. which would entirely ruin vylads plan #eventually (like. after about 8 months of visiting and talking) vylad comes in when gene is half asleep #theres blood running down genes face and he has a really bad bloody black eye #vylad fucking Panics and immediately rushes over to help clean him up while asking what happened #gene is just like 'i dont want to talk about it' and vylad just goes 'okay' and continues cleaning up genes wound #they just kind of sit there with vylad hugging gene (after a couple mins of vylad trying to figure out where to hug him where it wont hurt)#after maybe ten minutes gene starts talking about dante #vylad just sits there listening as gene breaks down rambling about how much he misses his brother and how he wishes he could go back #eventually genes just like 'i dont think i can ever make up for what i did. im irredeemable. ive hurt and killed so many people. this is #only karma' and vylad just. sits there. silently. because he feels the exact same way about himself and doesnt know how to respond #after a few minutes he says 'sometimes you cant make up for things. sometimes you just have to move on and do better'#gene responds by falling asleep in vylads arms #a few days later vylad is like 'alright gene were getting you out of here' and has to basically drag gene out a window #'but i-' 'shhhhh. be quiet' 'but-' 'gene. shut up. im saving you whether you like it or not' '... ok'#vylad goes from 'i can fix him (i cannot)' to 'I FIXED HIM 🥳'#well. he hasnt fixed the Trauma and Guilt but that can wait :>#do u guys like the fanfic i dont have the skill to actually write

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skunkes · 1 month

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,

i played that ni/tw games a couple yrs ago and could not relate/didn't really care or retain anything from it at all but lately that one thing about wondering if you're just another failure in a long line of failures. is. an

#talkys #i cant stop from looking around and wondering if it's genetic.#my dad might need money from me again for something outside of his control #and while he was telling us about it he said he feels fine bc he knows we (his kids) wont be like this #struggling to stay afloat at 70 years old.#as if 3 out of 4 of his children dont live with him #2 of them unemployed 1 not making much #1 of the 2 unemployed ones being a severe failure to launch disappointment #like. we are never getting out of here. im never going to make it #like genuinely. i have 0 idea what to do with my life and 0 motivation to do it anyway. i keep getting so scared #lately bc idk what happens next #and thats still not enough to get me off my ass....! i guess i deserve whatever happens to me #i didnt turn out like any of my friends. eager willing and motivated with plans they went for. i do not know why.#OH also adjacent to the genetic failure thing: me and my siblings are all different from our cousins #my mom and her sisters are the same. so are my dad and his siblings #all of my cousins are. normal. + they have jobs and families etc meanwhile me and my siblings are all single or unhappily married LMAO #and not very successful at all.#like i dont want kids but its still like. why are we the only different ones its so weird....!#and then within us im the weirdest most othered one too. it sucks. augh

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end-orfino · 2 months

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ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something #but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized.#and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this-#-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace-#-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller #which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this #and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely #oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it-#-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart #so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it.#fun./sar #i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to #because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get-#-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of #its probably the resilience though #im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically #this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it #just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear #it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over.#i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts #this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement.#its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every-#-time achievement #what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past.#even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again #if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa

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meat-pvppet · 7 months

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not to bitch and moan but im really starting to remember why i dont do original stories anymore

#im so anxious about world building and just linear solid plots dude none of the ideas im having feel like they make any sense #the story ideas im getting feel uninspired and uninteresting #theres barely anything anyway #and are people other than myself even interested?#i miss when i could have fun with things without feeling unnecessarily horrible about if its good or not #ik i should just do what i want but #yknow #sorry chat ill be normal again but for now ill shit tears about this i guess #scrubs hands over my face and rips off my skin GOD i need to loosen up but i want this to be something ill actually like at the same time #or maybe i just wanna be known for something other than fan shit #can i be normal pls thanks #.txt #vent #ig #ew feelings eugh

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emmebearpaw · 4 days

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i'm going to explode im going to explode im going to explode

#my post #successfully didn't cry on my zoom call with my advisors for my senior project for little clear reason other than general stress #like i know that the reason why you have to do a big mostly independent project is so that you get good at handling them but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #nothing's happened. im already behind. i should try to get ahead? my timeline kinda sucks. I haven't started the literature review.#i know my want of having a project that's like... fun. was impossible but. hell on earth (has barely even started)#i'm starting to think more and more i'm not actually cut out for science. maybe i just like science communication lmao.#i know that's an overreaction but my work ethic is fucking shit for the fact i've been an honors student since... what like 1st grade?#i like learning i just hate the work that's supposed to come with it. i want my cake and i want to eat it too.#so the idea of fucking self monitoring my work. i'll probably be fine but i have to pre-emptively freak out and cry about it so.#guess if we get the crying about it done now then i'll have more time in my schedule for the insane bullshit I will be pulling later.#a normal semester (the heavier semester of the senior project and research again probably #and being the lead undergrad TA for one of the most insane classes i've heard of (it's 4 credits in a quarter) and 3 classes #(tho one is a freebie and the other shouldn't be Too much. the last one probably Will be a lot.)#time to go slam more video essays into my brain i suppose

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arcaneyouth · 9 months

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rapidly approaching my 21st birthday is hard and weird but not for any normal reasons thats for sure

#not a vent post im just rambling in the tags #theres 4 main factors at play here.#firstly theres Society n all that telling me 21 is a Special Biethday!!! you'll be old enough to legally do adult things!!!#secondly theres the fact that i love being alive and celebrating it this shit rules like fuck yes i get to keep living hell yes #thirdly theres the fact that i kinda dont actually care. like its chill. ive reached the point where a birthday is a cute lil tradition #i dont gotta go wild with it and dont feel the need to treat it differently than any other day #but also the 4th thing which is 21 is yet another age my doctors told me id never get to see so like this is A Big One #so this is actually hard as hell because fundamentally i dont care that much n dont have strong emotions BUT FUCK DUDE WHAT IF BIG CELEBRAT #constantly sitting here going hehe yayy its my birthday soon cant wait to hang out with my friends and then go back to normal life #while also going I NEED BIG PLANS I NEED HUGE PLANS I NEED A CELEBRATION OFF THE WALLS OH FUCK OH GOD #it doesnt stop being funny. i dont even know what kind of big thing id do anyways #mom said i couldnt go to moterey bay aquarium too much money and that was my only idea #ive been thinking about this for weeks and have come up with 0 other plans #'we gotta do a huge party' ok then come up with one then dumbass #oh noooo guess ill have a nice time at home just like any other day oh nooooo #guess my 21st birthday will be unspecial. darn. anyways

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chirp-featherfowl · 14 days

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rolled four fucking sixes for one of buddy dawn's ability scores. what the fuck. what the fucik. what the fuck. what the fuck. what are the statistics of that. how does that work.

#ohhh hhahaha i keep seeing buddy and kipperlilly in my dreaaams haha that's probably because i think about the fic before i go to bed haha #wow writing this fic is hard without ANy Fucking idea of what spellls they have or what they add to rolls or how many hit points they have #instead of scouring through the transcripts trying to find any goddamn idea why don't i just make their characters . Whatever #kipperlilly died and returned as a phantom rogue in this fic so it's ok if the character sheets are inconsistent and Well.#i dont know baout buddy but surely having a rage crystal in him while changing divinities maybe does something to his stats #so it is Fine adn okay and i start rolling for bu7ddy #5. 3. (with two dice). reroll. 1. 4. (with two dice). cool! buddy gets a 12! that's a normal score to get!#6. 6. (with two dice). okay #cool!#the least he can get here is a 13. the best he can get here is an 18! but he probably won't get an 18 #6. fucking. 6.#whattttt ehf fuck #anyway thank you tumblr #buddy and kalina's excellent adventure #<- my fic tag because i guess im liveblogging this now #fantasy high

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semercury · 17 days

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I just really want to make something so bad I want to rip my skin off. I want to make something that matters and that people like because it matters, you know? I don't know if I'm capable of that though.

#stuff sarah says #ive been frustrated with my creative output for a while though #i cant even pinpoint where it started because its been an issue for so long #i know a few years ago it really took a blow though #and i guess normally im able to forget about it #like an abandoned house thats boarded up or something #but then something comes along and inspires me to create #and its like a great wind knocking the boards off #but the house is still empty and ruined. idk how im supposed to use it #and i know part of it is looking at the other houses and just going wow! theyre so good!#i want to take inspiration but not copy but that line scares me bc i dont want to copy?#but like. inspiration is a thing. and obviously id be making it my own #idk. im rambling #i just miss making things #i miss getting excited about my own ideas #i feel like the well has dried up #but i want to make something so bad it makes me feel sick. i just dont know what.

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p2iimon · 1 month

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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me

#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy #then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so #its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black #already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu #shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason #everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at #withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind #like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not #here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking #no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i #he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t #him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself #ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so #like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is #nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too #anyway.....#simons spouting #simons fnaf au #OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial #relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess #michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being #annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective #if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a #a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.

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rileys-battlecats · 1 year

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my fish died :(

#rye.txt #im entering a legit state of mourning #i only had her for about half a year but i loved her so much #no idea what caused her to pass either #water quality is good temp is normal and the other fish in the tank are fine #i guess it must have been some genetic thing. she DID come from a petsmart #anyway im gonna be crying all day today and probably have no motivation to draw for a while #but ill be ok :) im just gonna take some time to grieve her

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harvestmoth · 2 years

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dont look at me

#aha… miraculous… wooo…….#this time featuring butterfly mafuyu #im sorry im having a moment #and by that i mean its been a but of a long moment #one of these was started several hours ago. the other was started maybe an hour or two ago. can you guess which is which #anyways. i cannot consume media normally . it always turns into ‘the only way i can think about them is if i stuff them in some kind of au’#it is a real problem #anyways anyways . mos asleep. post cringe on notmain #project sekai #minori hanasato #mafuyu asahina #oh yea mafumom is the peacock btw. there but also not there #i have not kept up with miraculous since like the 3rd season. no idea whats goin on other there rn but. wow project sekai miraculous au aha

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girlbob-boypants · 4 months

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Yeah my laptop is very much at the end of its life.

#girlbob.txt #im gonna look into a desktop this time #i guess.#im certainly not thrilled about the idea purely because it feels so certain #like its not transportable what if i cant stay in my home anymore #normal thoughts obviously #and then with everything else going on....#ugh #im gonna try and buy secondhand when i can if i go desktop route #and ill look at refurbished laptops again to be sure #this sucks

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artemisbarnowl · 8 months

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Having a totally normal one* after waking from a dream where I just relive life with my ex. It was so normal and fine and we did things such as lay around in bed and make plans for the day, go to the Korean supermarket on the corner, go to a friend's house together.

#*if it were in the evening i would be drinking enough to finally drink dial and just fucking ASK all the questions i am making up answers to #what did you want? what do you want now?? honestly could you find it in your heart to hate me and never wanna see me again?#because me saying 'i don't think we should talk for a while' and you saying 'id really like to be friends' are obviously Not It #omg im going to spend my birthday alone for the first time....nearly ever and im just going to go to work and be miserable #i havent been able to stop chewing on the idea of me visiting when i head down to see the fam for christmases #i want him to want me back sooooo bad!!!!#i still think about that dream where i made him pasta #would i take him back? depends on what he said #as much as im pathetic im not an idiot and id need clear evidence to show that he 1. knows what he wants (involving me) and #2. is going to ask for it #because i don't think i ever heard him say a single thing about what he wanted for our future #never said 'hey i want to see you when are you free for me to come up?'#is probably fucking dating now anyway and doesnt WANT me to remember him on new years (our best guess anniversary)#or ask to call because i want to ask questions that will be hard to answer #when all ive ever wanted is the TRUTH #not the strategic answer just the gods honest truth #and i suspect that is 'i dont want to date you i havent for a while i didnt know how to stop or what i wanted instead'#and then i could go home break every object in ny house and move on #try a dating app ot something else to attempt to look forward instead of back #so as you can see -totally normal one

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gatsby-system-folks · 1 year

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Au where Murdoc runs away as a kid and ends up at the Pots' house.

#gorillaz #murdoc gorillaz #i have no idea how this would function in canon #just think itd be neat lol. i guess it would depend on what age mudz runs away at. because i like happy endings lets say he runs away #at 8. and somehow makes it to (checks notes) wherethepotslivebourough. stus what... 2 or 3? mr and mrs. pot adopt the trash gremlin #child who appears at their doorstep.#mr. pot: well honey i think we have another kid. hes grey and very sad and angry. golly i guess lets put him in therapy #and then things... go better. yknow.#mudz and stu grow up as brothers and mudz is fiercly protective of him to the point of it getting annoying. maybe hannibal figures out #where his little brother went and finds him and gets the Stern Fatherly Concern treatment too.#im sorry for the whole-ass fic in the notes but im on a role.#97 roles around and idk the boogeyman fucking kidnaps stu or some shit and knocks his eyes about and thats where the 2d nickname comes from #idk what paula would do in this au. maybe shed be a prophet for the boogeyman or something. pfkf #so to like be proper rivals with the boogeyman mudz and 2d form a band! they kidnap russel and noodle shows up like normal and then things #play out roughly as normal except mudz isnt severely traumatized and is able to be a proper unhinged leader as he was destined to be.#... you think this is bad #i have 2 other aus in a similar vein to this lmao #which i will discuss if prompted #~ europa #cursing in tags

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espresso-cookie · 7 months

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my bitchass thinking about cookie run multi animator projects again

#The last time i wanted to do one the thought fell through cause it was 2021 and that was like my horror year #and also it just wasnt planned at all i didnt even have a song picked #HOWEVER this time i DO have an idea AND a song #multiple problems though: its for an ultra specific AU nobody knows about and theres like. two cookie run animators out there #youll never guess what ultra specific au it is (linus we know its rbp)#ive literally been thinking about this for like a week now #the multi animator project scene is like dead i havent seen ANYTHING for it in the past few years #(i have to spell out the full name instead of the abbreviation so people know what im talking about)#if nobody knows what the FUCK im talking about just YouTube OC multi animator project #UPDATE multi animator projects are still alive the warriors fandom is still going absolutely batshit and i am HERE for it #Anyways rbp lives rent free in my brain #I think I could probably turn it into something more vague like a sort of cookiebots vs cookies type beat but #however lemon dj aloe and caramel are CRUCIAL #you'll never guess what i just thought of 2 minutes later #color palette usage #my brain is like overflowing with ideas it's NOT normal and its not gonna happen #unless?#<- /j

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risingsunresistance · 1 year

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can i get off of this rollercoaster please

#IM NOT EVEN POSTING ANYTHING HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN 😭#hi i'd be posting more if i wasnt trying to graduate. and if my life could be normal for like 2 seconds #my house is in shambles after the floods so we're trying to move yippee #it's still *liveable* it would just. cost more to repair apparently than it would to buy an entire new house! awesome <3 #i've never moved in all my 21 years of living i have no idea what to think about this #so uh. i'll be more consistent in the summer i guess 👍 im Very Busy rn #all my free time has been spent relaxing playing pokemon. i have two full boxes of shinies now lmao #chat

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