#guys when you are rivals and betray the party because of your insecurities

[lyricalchrysanthemum]

Thinking

[aspoonofsugar]

I was happy to discover you are in ATLA fandom too. Could you please share your thoughts on Azula? I like your analyses

Hello anon!

Thank you very much for the nice words and for this ask! I love Azula!

I think Azula’s character explores the idea of control:

In The Avatar State, she is shown training to master “lightening”. There, it is shown how losing control of even a small detail, like a lock of hair, is enough to make Azula angry.

It is not by chance that such a scene occurs in an episode focused on the Avatar State. As a matter of fact the Avatar State and the lightening can (partially) be compared when it comes to Aang and Zuko’s stories in book two. This book opens up with Aang trying to enter the Avatar State and with the lightening being introduced thanks to Azula’s character. What is more, both Aang and Zuko try to get a hold of the two different techniques throughout the season. Finally, both skills need for the user to “let go” of their feelings.

In particular, when it comes to the lightening, there are two different ways to interpret this:

Iroh: There is energy all around us. The energy is both Ying and Yang. Positive energy and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and, in the moment the positive and negative energy come pressing back together, you provide release and guidance...creating lightening. (...) Remember, once you separate the energy you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide.”

Iroh: “Lightening is a pure expression of fire-bending without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightening the cold blooded fire. It is precise precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind.”

On one hand Iroh’s description is interesting because it is as if creating lightening is a process of synthesis. You separate opposites and have them come back together, so that they can gain a new form. So it makes sense that, thematically, this new synthesis can happen only if the character overcomes their inner turmoil. This is also why Zuko is not able to learn the skill:

Iroh: “You will not be able to master lightening until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you.”

Zuko: “What turmoil!?”

Iroh: “Zuko, you must let go of your feelings of shame if you want your anger to go away.”

In order to acquire it, he should let go of his shame, but he can’t do it. The fact that “shame” is what stops Zuko from making progress is interesting. As explained by Guru Pathick, thus, the fire chakra is the chakra of will and it is polluted by shame.

On the other hand the lightening is called cold-blooded firebending because it can be realized only by benders whose emotions are kept in check. I would argue that this is the reason why Azula is able to use this skill. It is not that she has reached a level of emotional maturity which lets her become a  “humble guide” to the energy. It is just that she constantly represses her feelings. This repression gives the idea that she is in perfect control, but this impression is a superficial one and it is proven wrong towards the end of the story.

In short, Zuko is not able to use lightening because of his explosive emotions, while Azula is able to because she restricts her feelings. Let’s highlight that this difference between the two siblings comes up again in a key episode aka The Beach:

Once again Zuko’s emotions are in full display. He is angry and nervous. He might not know why, but he is. Moreover he is finally able to express himself thanks to a confrontation with the other members of the group. Finally he does so while a giant fire erupts to highlight the catharsis of the moment. When it comes to Azula, she too opens up a little. In particular, she lets this slip:

Azula: I don't have sob stories like all of you. I could sit here and complain how our mom like Zuko more than me. But I don't really care. My own mother... thought I was a monster... She was right of course, but it still hurt.

Azula thinks that Ursa saw her as a monster. It is clear that the unsolved issues with her mother have left a sign on her. However, when she has the chance to truly let it all out, she does not. She changes the tone of the conversation and immediately leaves the topic. However, this does not mean that she is not troubled. If anything, her emotions keep burning behind a cold exterior, exactly like the fire, which burns under the ashes. Almost invisible, but still there.

About this, let’s consider two things.

1) In The Beach episode, Azula does something similar here:

Azula: “Come down to the beach with me. Come on! This place is depressing.”

Zuko starts talking about their past and their family, but Azula does not engage in the conversation and tells him to leave.

2) When Azula opens up, the others do not challenge her. They do not ask her what she meant nor they try to contradict what she said. This is different from what they have just done with each other. All in all, Zuko openly provokes Ty Lee and Ty Lee, Zuko and Azula all provoke May, until she shouts. Finally, all the girls keep asking Zuko who he is really angry with, until he is finally able to answer.

These two considerations can be linked to more general ideas.

a) Azula is a person who needs to always be in control. This has two consequences. The first is that she never lets herself be vulnerable. She is always on guard and closed up to others. The second is that she is like a fish out of water when there is nothing to control.

This is made clear in the episode The Beach:

Zuko: “Doing nothing is a waste of time. We are being sent a way in a force vacation. I feel like a child.”

In this episode, Azula and the others are given a break. However, Azula, just like Zuko, is not really able to take a break.

She is on an island and should relax, but the only way she manages to do so is by finding new enemies:

She must continually challenge herself and must change everything in a competition (and win it) in order not to face how empty she feels. This is why, in the end, her solution to the insecurities the beach re-awakens in her is to trash a party. She can’t fit in a group of pampered teenagers, so she ruins their evening. However, what Azula should really do is to try to understand why she does not fit.

The episode shows that Azula is ignorant when it comes to casual relationships:

Azula: “I am so used to people worshipping us”.

Ty Lee: “They should!”

Azula: “I know and I love it. But for once I just wanna see how people would react to us if they did not know who we were.”

She says so directly. She has been worshipped all her life. However, this means she does not know how people react to her outside of her role as a princess and a military leader.

The military aspect is especially interesting because, even if she does not disclose her identity as a royal, her attempts to bond are all centered around military topics:

Azula: “That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battle ship, leaving thousands to drown at sea. Because... it's so sharp.”

Azula: “Together you and I will be... THE STRONGEST COUPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD! We will dominate the Earth!”

Her life has been a long training session for war, so she does not really know anything else. This is obvious both in how she can’t talk about other things and in how she sees others not like people, but like enemies/rivals.

This is also why the vacation in Amber Island could have been very important if Azula had been able to properly capitalize on it. All in all, The Beach is the episode where Azula is shown the most vulnerable (not counting the finale where she has a complete break-down).

She tries to change her approach to go along with others:

Azula: “Well that sounds really shallow and stupid...Let’s try it!

She openly apologizes and shows her insecurities:

“Look...maybe I just said it because I was a little...jealous.”

However, all of this is not enough to change the trajectory of her arc. Why is that so? This has to do with another aspect of Azula’s controlling tendencies. As a matter of fact not only does she controls herself, but also others.

b) Azula is presented since the beginning as a highly manipulative character. Manipulation is at the root of all her major relationships:

Zuko:You lied to me!

Azula: Like I've never done that before.

She lies to Zuko to catch him and forces Ty Lee to join her through manipulation. Moreover most of her plans rely on manipulation and lies. However, if you try to control and manipulate others you are unable to build healthy relationships.

This is what happens to Azula. As stated above, nobody replies to Azula when she opens up. Zuko could have very easily told her Ursa loved them both. May and Ty Lee could have tried to comfort her somehow. However, nobody does. And nobody does because they are all scared of Azula. In her attempt to control everybody, Azula has negated herself the chance to have  a relationship among equals.

What is more, it is clear that it is impossible to fully control others. The Beach starts to show this through Azula’s attempts to flirt. Without her status as a princess, her peers do not behave like she wants. She might be able to hook up with a guy by rehearsing and applying a strategy. However, building a relationship is not a military operation. It is not something that can be done through control, but only through respect and trust.

Azula fails to do so and this is why she is left behind by others. She is left behind by Zuko who breaks free from their father. She is left behind by Mai and Ty Lee who choose healthier relationships over the one they have with her. After she loses them, Azula starts spiralling out of control and burns everything around her.

In short, I would say that Azula’s main flaw is “control”. She wants to control everyone, herself included. So in the end she is betrayed and left behind by people and she herself loses control:

Ursa: I think you're confused. All your life you've used fear to control people. Like your friends Mai and Ty Lee.

Azula:Well what choice do I have? Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way. Even you fear me.

This is especially tragic because it is clear that Azula’s behaviour is her answer to an environment where a clear line was drawn between winners and losers. Azula has always been Ozai’s favourite, but Ozai has never loved her. He loves Azula’s talent, so Azula cultivates those qualities which make her accepted by her father. What is more, Ozai is not a character who values feelings or emotions, so Azula represses these aspects of herself.

In conclusion, I think Azula is a very tragic character and that her spiral was very well written and realistic. I also think that in the series itself she has shown the potential to change for the better, but this possibility has not been explored. I mean, if she had no guilt nor regrets about her behaviour, she would not have seen the hallucination of her mother calling her out.

These are more or less my major thoughts on Azula. There are probably many other things to add, but as far as my generic impressions of her go, this is what I have to say. Feel free to make more specific questions! I love her!

Thank you for the ask!

[lovingthekpoplife]

Imagine And Reaction Masterlist

BTS imagines and reactions

BTS as brothers

Piggyback rides with BTS

BTS reaction to their GF being harassed by her ex

Horror movies with BTS

BTS react to their Gfs having a psychotic episode

BTS when their GF has long wavy hair

BTS when you feel insecure about your weight

Tickle wars and play fights with BTS

BTS react to their GF having bad knee pain

BTS reaction when their GF asks them to buy pads

BTS react to their GF getting into a fight with another girl

BTS daughters or sons?

What would BTS do when you lose a bet against them?

Sleepless Nights with BTS

BTS React to having a short GF     and the plot twist

BTS family troubles

BTS when they see their GF dancing to one of their songs

BTS when exo is like a brother to you

BTS when they get caught watching porn by their little sister

Drunk BTS

BTS when their GF fangirl over EXO

BTS when their GF has Memory Loss

BTS when they see your scars from self-harming

BTS when their GF acts recklessly after a few drinks

BTS react to their GF having really curly hair

How BTS would wake you up in the morning

BTS when you have a thich Jamaican Accent when speaking Chinese

BTS when you ask them to teach you a dance of theirs

BTS when they accidentally hurt you during playfight!

BTS when their GF cracks her knuckles a lot

BTS when a jackass bumps into you

When BTS realize they are in love with you

BTS seeing you fix your bra in public

How BTS kisses

BTS when they find their GF napping and drooling

Protective BTS Jin Jimin J-Hope Jungkook Rap Monster Suga V

BTS reaction to their GF getting their hair cut really short

BTS catching you singing and dancing their songs in your underwear and their oversized shirt

BTS when they see you talking to another guy and get jealous

BTS when they see you (and idol) perform for the first time

BTS when their best friend/sister has an abusive boyfriend

BTS when your parents don’t accept him

Cuddling with BTS

When they hear you speak Spanish for the first time

BTS Scenario- Suicidal girlfriend (TRIGGER WARNING)

How would BTS ask you out?

BTS when their GF has anxiety

BTS when you tell them you are afraid of the dark

You are internet friends and are finally meeting BTS

BTS when they come home to you dressed in a school girl outfit

BTS when you wake up at 3 am because you are hungry

BTS when their girlfriend acts cute and sexy in her new dress

Did someone say Bad Boys BTS? (gif)

When BTS gets jealous at their wedding

When you start rapping to a song they like

When they find out their gf is asexual

BTS discovering their GF is polish

BTS when they meet your male friends for the first time

When you get flustered by something they did

BTS reaction to a tragedy in your life

When you are an actress and have to kiss someone in a role and they get jealous

What type of teacher would BTS be?

BAD BOY BTS- When someone flirts with you

BTS when their girlfriend asks them to dye her hair

BTS when their GF sends a girl group cover while they are doing schedules

BTS when you slap them during an argument

BTS when you get jealous of their scene in a drama

BTS when they accidentally slap you during an argument

BTS when you see a spider

BTS when they find out a friend betrayed you

BTS when they see you at the beach with your guy friends

BTS when you surprise him by making him grab your boob

BTS when their girlfriend doesn’t take very good care of herself

BTS when you start moaning in your sleep — And the Plot twist! you wake up!

BTS when you ask them to shower with you

BTS at a Haunted House!

BTS after your first time

BTS when you want to have your first time but you are insecure

BTS when their girlfriend has really big boobs

BTS when their GF is a vegetarian

BTS when you accidentally call them daddy

BTS when they finally realize you are horny

BTS when they try to flirt with you but you don’t speak Korean written reaction

BTS birthday wishes

BTS when their sister is scared after watching a horror movie

BTS when you won’t cuddle them because of your body pillow

BTS when their GF plays with her lips a lot

BTS when they find out you have cancer

BTS when they catch you masturbating

BTS when another member kisses you

BTS when their little sister throws a party while their parents are out of town

In the Mourning- A BTS angst

BTS reaction when your water breaks

BTS when they catch you dancing to No More Dreams

Exo reactions and scenarios:

Exo as brothers

Exo reaction to their GF having big cheeks (gif)

EXO reaction to their GF loving LOTR

EXO when they see their GF dancing to one of their songs

When EXO realize they are truly in love with their Girlfriend

EXO when their GF fangirls over BTS

EXO when you call him oppa

EXO when you are insecure about your weight

EXO when their GF has bad knee pain

EXO when you are in critical condition

EXO when their GF is mad because she is brazilian but gets confused for Mexican

EXO when you have a cute accent

EXO when they meet their celebrity crush at a variety show

EXO when you tell them you used to get bullied

EXO when you want to go driving with them at 2 am

You are internet friends and are finally meeting EXO

EXO!WOLF! Au where you are his mate and are taken by a rival pack

EXO when they see the scar on their GF’s wrists

EXO when their GF dies in a drama she was acting in

Cheaters- A EXO-K scenario where they cheat on you

EXO when their GF swears a lot

EXO when they are shipped with you

EXO when their little sister is dating another member

EXO when their GF gets hurt playing volleyball

Individual scenarios:

A Chanyeol Scenario- Time and Pain (when his GF gets attacked by sasaengs)

Horror Nights and Pillow Fights- A Chen scenario

Luhan Wolf!Au when his GF gets taken by a rival pack

Showers With Chanyeol (smut)

Betrayed- A Sehun Angst , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12 (Sehun), Part 12 (D.O)

Now I understand- A Kyungsoo Smut , Part 2

Get well soon…- A Jongin Scenario

With Eyes that Shine Like Stars- A Chen Scenario

Thunderstorm- A Sehun Smut/fluff

Just You and I- A Kris Boss!Scenario

[crimsonbluemoon]

Working for Love: A Terrormoo Story, 1/17

Okay, soooo...surprise? For some reason, the first week of November I wrote this entire story. It’ll be broken down into 17 parts, about 4-5 pages each. 

Yes, this means I wrote over 26k words in one week. I don’t know either.

This is a story that I’m dedicating to @personfullofplotholes because of all the work she’s helped me with for my BBS, MCU, and personal writing. Without her, Libahunt wouldn’t be a thing, and I’d probably be out of the fandom completely. 

So this story will be posted every Saturday! I hope that you enjoy! ^.^  

Main pairing: Terrormoo There will be other pairings mentioned through it, though not in detail and no real moments or focus.  But they’ll be dabbled in there, so fair warning. 

Drabble One

Brock was not lazy. 

Really, he wasn’t. Sure, he lacked the active schedule he’d had when he was in high school. College had been a hard transition, and though he managed to get through it with a 4.0 GPA, his health took a hit. Making ramen noodles at three in the morning was simply easier than trying to prepare a balanced meal and study for his economics final. His friends hadn’t mentioned any changes in his waistline or that his cheeks had plumped up through the college exams and parties. The pants he’d shimmied into after high school were stuffed in the deepest corner of his closet by the last year of college, but he was genuinely happy with his life. He had a positive group of friends and a financially stable job as a teacher. Brock even got an apartment that had come with a gym membership to ‘Wildcat Athletics’ (the landlord, Nogla, said that he was ‘best buddies’ with the owner of the gym, and worked there on weekends) for as long as he was a tenant and paid his bills on time. 

The only thing that even reminded him about his weight hangups, if he was being honest, was his boyfriend. Or, well, his ex-boyfriend. That factor was the exact reason that Brock stood outside of the aforementioned gym, lower lip dragged between his teeth on the chilly Monday night. Valentine’s day had been over a month ago, but still held more heartbreak than love for Brock. He’d been left stunned and insecure by the cruel words his lover had used to end their relationship. 

“I can’t be with a guy who doesn’t want to fix what’s wrong with his body. You’re just too heavy for me to keep pretending to be attracted to.” 

Two years spent fostering a welcoming and loving relationship had meant nothing because Brock now had love handles? His ex was in better shape than Brock from day one, but he’d assumed their relationship was built on more than looks. Brock had always been a little heavier, yet he balanced the slight physical shortcomings with his endearing personality. Never once had his ex complained about his body when Brock let him borrow his car or covered some of his bills during his ‘career transition’ between jobs. When Brock’s raise meant a vacation to Iceland, there were no complaints of thicker thighs and missing abs in the natural hot springs. He’d never made comments about the weight gain when the two were between the sheets, though recalling their love life over the past six months, Brock could remember several times his shirt remained untouched through their sex. The touches lacked the romantic charge they’d held at the start of their relationship, when Brock’s hips fit better under his hands and his shoulders weren’t rounded by stress and long study sessions. 

But now all of these ‘burdens’ were too much for his ex to handle, and after his scathing comments, the man left Brock broken and crying in his apartment without a second glance. 

“You’re not doing this for him,” Brock reminded himself, hand gripped tightly onto his phone to keep from turning around and heading back to his car. He’d already visited the gym a couple times over the past week, but always felt the impulsive desire to leave as soon as he stepped out of his car. His shirt was the baggiest he could find in his collection, hoping that it’d cover the lacking muscles and stretch marks he’d been staring at for weeks. 

His break-up had been the catalyst for coming to the gym, but it wasn’t the only reason. Brock had several other contributing factors. Nogla’s face looked so hopeful when Brock mentioned he’d checked out the gym, and exercising gave him something to do to get him out of the house. He did get a small burst of pride each time he finished his walk on the treadmill, though he hadn’t been able to use it to take on the weights. For the most part, the gym wasn’t saturated with muscle-heads or judgemental members, and people who were in the same shape as him looked content going there. He’d only met the owner, Tyler, once, but he didn’t give a judgemental stare or rude comment when Brock mentioned Nogla’s offer. He did look grumpy while having Brock fill out paperwork and take his photo, but Nogla reassured him that it was just ‘his normal mood’. 

Night workouts were always met with less clutter, as most didn’t want to work out after a 9-5 job. Brock’s guilty pleasure of sleeping through three alarms kept him from being a morning warrior, and he enjoyed the quieter time. 

“Hey, welcome back.” He gave a small smile to the man who greeted him at the front counter before showing him his scan card.

“Hello.” He didn’t muster up the courage to exchange any more words than the polite greeting. ‘Evan’ (as the nametag offered) was handsome and kind, his smile disarming and real each time Brock came in. But his ex’s grin had been charming, too, and Brock wasn’t good enough for him. Brock was reminded of how the frumpy college t-shirt had a hole in the right shoulder and a stain under the logo that would be impossible to find attractive. Plus, Evan was far too attractive to be single like him. He tried to make his own smile hide his negative thoughts when he dropped his gaze and took the card back, scampering to the safety of the treadmills. 

There were only a few people in the gym, and the station he liked to use was free. The tv in front of it played Animal Planet, which helped him through the harder parts of his routine. Plus, it was furthest in the corner of the gym, meaning that most members didn’t see him. The less people that caught sight of his flushed face, sweat stains and pathetic gasps, the better. His water and keys were tossed into the holders before he fumbled through the buttons of the machine, feeling confident enough to push his level to ‘4’ instead of the 3 he’d been hovering over for the past week. In seconds the belt was moving under his feet, and with Maroon 5’s ‘Give a little more’ playing in his headphones, Brock threw himself into his workout. 

It wasn’t long until the higher leveled routine took its effect; Brock’s legs tingled with protest at the higher incline as each minute passed, but he tried to keep his mind focused on the music pounding in his ears. His chest expanded with greater desperation after minute seven, and Brock had to close his eyes after the ten minute mark to keep himself from shutting down the machine. The pads of his fingers were clammy, making it hard to change the song on his phone to something with a heavier beat. Another change in the treadmill’s incline had brown eyes looking to the TV, though dismay flooded him at the breaking news that was interrupting normal programming. The boring story didn’t have subtitles big enough for Brock to read, meaning looking at the screen was pointless. His eyes pulled away from the speech to find something else to distract him. It only took a few seconds to find the stairmaster, though the intimidating machine was not what caught his interest. 

There, practically jogging from the speed he was using, was a man that rivalled the treadmill’s ability to leave Brock breathless. The sweat that made Brock’s skin fluster and smell looked much different on the other member. The muscle tank top was cut open wide under the armpits, leaving an easy window to peek at the fit torso and stomach hidden under the cloth. If the thirteen minutes of torture hadn’t already turned him into a persperating tomato, Brock was sure he’d be blushing. He winced at the realization he’d been staring before he forced his eyes back down to his hands, watching chubby fingers clutch the pulse monitors like a lifeline. 

“Don’t stare, that’s creepy,” he huffed to himself. If he didn’t need his hands stable to keep from falling off the machine, he would have smacked himself. People were not at the gym to be objectified. Even if the man was beautiful, he had the same rights to a peaceful work-out. It didn’t matter how clear his skin looked, the cute way the front of his hair curled over his forehead from his work-out, or how bright his eyes were in the fluorescent light of the-Brock visibly jerked at the realization that his eyes had betrayed him, looking at the gym member again. 

It’s not your fault, his conscience (in Mini’s voice, which made it so much worse) tossed out, Brock already rejecting the excuse as it formulated. He has really nice legs, and those pants are definitely spandex from how tight they are painted onto his ass-

The fact that his unconscious had picked up on something he didn’t even know he’d evaluated had him pulling away from the thought. Again, his eyes were following the sleek movements of the man, and he wanted to cry when he realized they were settled on the spandex-covered posterior. Embarrassment rearing up, a weird noise of protest bubbled out of Brock’s mouth. His feet stumbled for a moment, and he was sure that his sneakers made an unpleasant noise against the treadmill’s belt that echoed from how empty the gym was. 

Horror rushed through his bloodstream as the blue eyes from before glanced his way, Brock ducking his head as low as he could during the worst part of his workout. He could barely keep himself walking up the high incline, but the lowered head made it so much harder. The sticky feeling of sweat clung to the collar of his t-shirt and the fabric against his back. He must have looked like a disaster, and the hottest guy he’d ever seen in the gym was looking at him. For a moment, he wished he could melt into the floor. Two grueling minutes went by before Brock finally raised his head again, breath shaky from both the work-out and his embarrassment. The blue gaze was still focused on him, and then a wave was paired with a beaming smile. He didn’t need to look to know his face was the reddest it’d ever been. 

Thankfully for Brock, the timer on his treadmill hit twenty, and the belt slowed to a stop. He didn’t hesitate to jump off the treadmill, eyes dropped to the floor when scampering from the embarrassing situation. He barely remembered to wave goodbye to Evan, escaping into the cold of the night. The gasp of breath was chilling through his lungs, but with how hot his face was, Brock wished he could dunk his head into a bucket of ice. Why had that guy waved at him? Was he trying to show that he knew Brock was staring? What if he was just being passive aggressive? The entire ordeal was mortifying, and Brock could already hear how loud Mini’s laugh would be when retelling the terrible experience. 

One thing was for sure; Brock was never coming back on a Monday night again.

And there’s part one. This is a very silly and fun story, and it will jump between Brock and Brian’s POV. So if you wanna know what Brian’s thinking, you’ll have to wait until next week and see! So, what did you think? Likes and reblogs will always be a good way to show me some love. Until next Saturday! 

[alrightinbed-betterwithapen]

i always tell the truth, even when i lie...

{prologue pt two: how Kova is formed}

Mob Boss!David x Reader

A/N: hey guys, so this is just blurbs about how each vlog squad member became real members of David’s gang. I left some people out just cause they don’t fit in the narrative I’m picturing. But I hope you enjoy! Strong violence ahead folks, as well as the rest of the series! A couple deaths too.

•Alex Ernst•

Alex always knew something about David was off. He always thought he saw the charming brunette hiding dead eyes behind feigned excitement. Too calculated for a boy of only nineteen. But Alex saw himself reflected in every move the man made.

Alex could relate to his friend more than anyone else he’d ever met. He instantly respected David and latched onto him. You don’t meet many people in this world who are as uncaring and unconcerned in the way they climb the ladder to the top as David and him were.

David hid behind charm and likability.

Alex hid behind innocence and religion.

Alex doesn’t say anything about it until David comes to him one evening and tells him he’s going to see their friends at the Denny house to offer them... a new business venture.

He offers it to Alex first.

Alex says yes, took you long enough, what do you need me to do, who do you need me to act as? Willing as always to take on any role he had to, to get what he wanted (or in this case what David wanted).

David knows right away Alex will always be on a different level than the rest of the crew. Alex will be more his equal than anyone else he has to corrupt.

Because he doesn’t have to corrupt him. He doesn’t have to convince him. Alex is willing and as ready as he is.

Alex is also good with guns. He talks Tomas into letting them add a large gun running operations revenue to the drug running money they’ve been laundering. (That’s the first fucking nail in the coffin for Tomas, but the large, dumb man has no idea.) The weapon buyers and sellers like Alex way better than they ever like Tomas. It’s a profitable situation for all.

In the car ride back to their apartment, leaving the first meeting with Tomas since Alex established himself with the weapons clientele, Alex says, “Your business needs a name.”

“It has a name, the Brothers’ Circle.”

“That’s the name of the cunts Tomas works for.”

“That we work for, Alex,” David facetiously reprimands, pushing to reveal the true meaning behind his friends words.

“Yeah,” he answers, looking out the window of David’s beat up Corolla, “for now.”

It makes David’s heart fill with love for the man. His best friend is thinking bigger picture just like he is. He feels validated in his internal descision to make this man the de facto co-leader of his future gang.

(Alex comes up with their name, Kova, a throwback to David’s origins and core of who he really is. A boy born in nowheresville Slovakia who’s gonna take over the world.)

•Liza Koshy•

Liza is like a lump of clay when Gabbie introduces her to David. He’s immediately drawn to her soft face and lively personality. He wants to ruin her. (Gabbie pulls him aside at the party they’re at, long before Kova was even a thought, and tells him she’s a gift. For being a good friend. And that he can make the dark skinned girl into whatever he wants her to be. “She’s young and insecure, go play.” Gabbie’s always been a dark minded girl, she used to read David like a book.)

He has fun reeling Liza in with his boyish charms and faked romantic sensibilities. She’s sooo easy. He picks apart her mind, morals and principles in one night, the night he first tells her he loves her.

He’s not lying, not really. He loves who he’s going to twist her to be. His perfect Harley Quinn. He’ll rip the compassion out of her if he has to.

He doesn’t actually have to, the girl is just a sweet little teenager looking for true love. It makes him laugh in hindsight at how simple it actually was. At how much goodness was once in the girl he’s seen curb stomp a drug dealer in the back alleys of LA because they refused to cut profits with Kova. She broke his jaw and David fucked her in his Tesla, giggling out a narrative of how the guys teeth popped out of his head while she rode him.

Liza would burn the world for David when he meets (Y/N).

She gets jealous and insecure by that fact that she needed to be programmed by David with a darkness that (Y/N) wore like skin, comfortable and natural.

You don’t pose a threat, not right away.

And if you send her into a trap, a drug drop off that was being ambushed by a rival amateur gang, that leads to her untimely death...

Well, what were you suppose to do? David would never do it. Too proud of the work that went into the weak girl.

And you wanted the man to yourself.

(He’s impressed, as you are smarter and more conniving than the guinea pig he’d been given as a present by Gabbie would ever be.)

Liza’s there at the beginning of Kova and she plays her part. Until you decide you can play it better.

But that’s a story for later...

•Gabbie Hanna•

Gabbie is easy. She wants money and attention and acceptance. She hands over her merch account info and starts finding leads to other vloggers who have a substance abuse problem. They always have friends who are as addicted as them, Gabbie explains, which is long run profitable. The girl is ruthless and David admires that about her.

She was one of his first close friends when he moved to LA. He’s stoked she’s progressing so nicely in his operation.

David includes her in his plans from the beginning, because she’s loyal and as obsessed with money as he is. But when he takes her to meet Tomas with Alex and Liza the first time, she’s so freaked out. Gabbie doesn’t grasp the severity of the situation until she’s in a warehouse full of drugs and guns.

David meets with her the next day and offers her an out. It’s late at night after the long, winding talk, but Gabbie is relieved and accepting that she can back out, promises not to tell anyone. He respects and genuinely cares about Gabbie and gives her what she wants, like promised. But not before Heath and Zane grab her arm and hold it down while David carves Kova into her upper arm.

Gabbie takes it, she understands.

It’s not two months later when he gets a call from Liza telling him that Gabbie’s trying to talk her into leaving him and helping her go to the cops. (Gabbie mistakenly thinks that because Liza was her friend first that her loyalties wouldn’t lay with David. She’s wrong.)

David brings Scott and Zane to grab her coming home from a late night gym session (that she’s stupidly been Snapchat-ing all evening).

He doesn’t need to torture her, but he thinks it’s a good lesson for Scott and Zane. The word will spread quickly through Kova.

You don’t fuck with David, ever.

The man could have deep love and respect for you, but he’d put a bullet in your head without thinking twice and if you make him angry enough to hurt you before that, well... you’ll be wishing he had just shot you instead.

The boys burn her body in the desert while David waits in the car and finishes editing his next vlog.

What a shame.

She was always reliable as clickbait for a thumbnail.

•Scotty Sire and Kristen McAtee•

Scotty’s chomping at the bit when David first offers the dude a bag full of cash late in the early morning at the Denny house. He can’t help the large, wicked smile on his face the entire time David spiels to the group.

He’s in from the first sentence, desperate to channel the darkness his depression had cursed him with from childhood. He could do this, and much more. Scott’s excited to become apart of something bigger than him. He’d happily worship the gospel of what would later be called Kova.

Kristen is easy to drag along, especially because of her addiction to pills and then later, more heavy drugs. She’ll do whatever she has to keep her man and her fix. She turns a calculated blind eye to their dealings and separates herself as much as possible.

David doesn’t like loose ends.

Word about Gabbie gets to her and she internally freaks out. She doesn’t know why, she doesn’t really care. Gabbie fucked up and got what was coming to her. But it feels like the calm before the storm.

David tells Scott he needs more from Kristen. He wants her to wear the Kova brand, he wants them all to after Gabbie tries to fuck them over. But he wants the curly headed girl to be first. Scott understands, he’s front row to the distance she’s created between her and the Kova family.

She’s partying with them all when Liza lures her to talk in an isolated bedroom, where Scott, Alex and David are waiting.

“Sorry, Kris. It’s just how it is,” David’s telling her when Scott and Alex maneuver her to the desk chair while their leader cleans a knife. “And you should be honored, I want you to be the first. I want you to start the family. Cause that’s what we are. We’re a family above all else. You wouldn’t betray your family, would you? You wouldn’t be Gabbie... Would you?”

Kristen resigns to shaking her head no, allowing Scott to extend her arm as David encroaches and presses the tip of the knife into the sensitive skin of her upper arm. Liza and Alex stand back, watching and blocking the exit. Kristen looks to Scott who only nods his approval before shutting her eyes tight when David begins slicing her arm.

The bass of the music throughout the house muffles her screams.

(Scott feeds her Percocets when it’s over and promises her the world. That’s the night she’s introduced to heroin.)

The rest of them receive the same mark personally from David by the end of the week.

•Zane Hijazi and Heath Hussar•

Zane’s psychotic. Genuinely a mad man, and David loves it as much as it’s a liability. Heath is a good reprieve though, knowing how to wrangle the crazed man.

They’re a fucking pair, that’s for sure. And with Heath’s experience in drug dealing and Zane’s past with beating the shit out of anyone who tried to stop or hassle Heath, they fit into Kova like they’ve been waiting their whole lives to be in the upper echelon of a gang. (They have.)

Heath is the guy David sends out to potential drug suppliers, such a people person and manipulator that David wishes he could bottle the man’s relatability to dose his entire crew with. The man has made him some serious fucking money with his banter.

Zane’s the guy David brings out at night or to see Tomas’ men, to terrify the peasants around him into submission. Zane is his guard dog on a short, but removable leash. The taller man is always just looking for a good time, whether that’s doing shots or breaking someone’s arm.

With the boundaries of what it means to be Kova and family set, etched into his skin, Zane becomes determined to protect his new clan, and his new always changing and addicting life.

David buys him a Porsche after he beats a thug of Tomas’ to death with his bare hands. The man had insulted David, his height and his hair. It rolled off the leaders back, but set something alight in Zane.

David doesn’t call him off until his hands are completely coated in blood.

(Tomas doesn’t say a word except to tell his men to clean up the mess and apologize to David. The fat man slaps Zane on the back on his way out, murmuring, “That’s a man you want around.”)

•Jason Nash•

Jason is his personal sounding board. The man is so much smarter than he lets anyone see. Jay can see from the outside in, how people will preceive them and how to effectively hide in plain sight.

Jason has a family, so it’s a little more difficult to convince him to give David his loyalty. Until the money is presented and David offers his family a clear cut and prosperous future. And to keep them out of all of it. The older man says yes after a couple days of thinking.

David seals the deal by bringing him to Miami, meeting with some drug runners from Belarus. They try to haggle David, get the price higher that what Tomas had offered. Jason laughs at them and follows David when he goes to walk out.

One of the men grabs Jay’s wrist and yanks his hand back to the dinner table they’d been sitting around and stabs his palm through with a steak knife, pinning him to the table in a bloody mess before hissing about disrespecting his boss.

Jason takes the knife out without flinching and stabs the guy in the aortic, blood splattering on his own face and chest.

“Don’t try to fuck with us,” Jason says so calmly to the criminals watching in awe, it’s unnerving, “and keep a leash on your puppy.”

The boss from eastern Europe laughs and apologizes before continuing the transaction with the original offer. He gives Jason the dead man’s Rolex, as a token of good will.

David accepts.

•Todd Smith•

Todd is a guy who wants to be smart, and just fucking isn’t. He’s easy. Money, girls, drugs and Todd is fucking his. It only takes a itty bitty cocaine addiction and Todd’s loyalty is an ever lasting stream of favors and obedience.

Scott takes Todd to kidnap a daughter of one of the Mexican mafias generals. David wants to run a piece of West Hollywood that he currently controls.

David is highly impressed with the lies Todd weaves to the pretty girl, keeping her calm and placated through out the ordeal. He’s even more impressed when Todd follows his orders to cut off her finger to send to her father; the olive skinned man doesn’t think twice. And the girl is still stuck deep in her Stockholm Syndrome, even after she only has nine fingers.

They return her to her family, no worse for wear, when the general gives up his terrority in WeHo.

David rents out a Vegas strip club and penthouse for Todd. He did well.

•Carly Incontro and Erin Gilfoy•

Carly and Erin are too fucking excited about Gabbie’s death. He watches them pick apart the story from Scott and Zane, and laugh manically when David tells them too much detail about the torture she had endured.

They are great to use strategically with their seduction or mask of ignorance used as a weapon. He has them paired up with a couple of guys higher up in Tomas’ operation, waiting like sleeper agents for the day when David will tear apart Tomas and his men. They’ll deliver the first bullets, crippling the obese excuse of a man’s team so that David can go in for the kill.

He had them train with Alex, who reports exactly what he had predicted about the girls: they’re addicted to the perks, the money, the clothes, the power. They love David, they’d do anything for their boss and friend. It makes David so happy.

They’re his favorite little princesses.

•Corinna Kopf•

David’s been working on Corinna since high school. She doesn’t contribute anything but her tits really, he only needs her every once and a while to seduce someone before killing or maiming them. He gives her to Todd to make her happy and keep the overly horny man satisfied.

But she’s loyal, has been since David met her. She tells David the things the vlog squad thinks he doesn’t know. She’s like an internal mole, not needed in most moments, but useful when people start getting too big for their britches.

Like Matt King. Zane vouched for the guy, (Heath tells David privately not to trust his best friend because his judgment is always clouded when it come to new people offering him a good time) and David lets it slide.

Until Corinna comes over one day, leaving Todd at home to fuck David while he edits and Liza is in New York. The blonde is sucking his cock, when she pulls back and says,

“Matt is trying to convince Zane to move to Europe. Says he has friends in Amsterdam doing bigger things than Kova.”

David comes in her mouth and kisses her forehead before sending her off and telling her to round up Scott and Todd and send them his way.

David picks up Heath and Zane, asking if it’s true. Zane says yeah, but he thought the dude was kidding, they were drunk as fuck at Todd’s.

(Zane doesn’t lie, he doesn’t have it in him. Too insane to try to manipulate or spin his words like his best friend.)

Heath is livid when they meet Scott and Todd at one of their hideouts filled with money and weapons. David is tired and thinks this is a good opportunity to release the reigns a little bit. He tells the men what they’re going to do and watches them plan how to end the bleached blond man’s life.

He leaves when they’re loading up one of their nondescript SUVs and Alex is arriving. His best friend is grabbing his arm, halting his steps as he makes his way to the Tesla, leaning in and asking, “Are we gonna make him hurt before we bury him, or nah?”

David gives him what do you think eyes, and replies, “If they come up with the idea themselves, I’ll buy them all fucking Tesla’s.”

The next day he’s purchasing four Tesla coupes and sending Alex an envelope showing the stock he now owns of Elon Musk’s company, valuing upwards of five hundred thousand dollars.

•Jeff Wittek•

Jeff approaches David, which is a first. But David’s well aware of the man’s past before he introduces himself. He’s just as dumb as his new friend Todd and more naive. He fits him to the same role as Todd after watching the man put a bullet between the eyes of a lackey that couldn’t pay up fronted money David gave the guy.

But, Jeff proves way more useful than David ever could have imagined.

Jeff slaps down a duffle bag in front of David one day, oddly symmetrical to the way David had started everything. He says it’s a gift from his uncle in New Jersey. There’s two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in it along with a hard drive of incriminating photos, videos and documents on Tomas and his men.

“My uncle doesn’t like how Tomas runs the most lucrative port on the West Coast. You... you he likes, David,” Jeff tells him, crooked grin on his lips.

And that’s how David finds out that not only is Jeff the nephew of the last Godfather of the Italian mob in the United States, but that the centuries old organization is actively courting him to take over.

He likes Jeff.

David still demands loyalty though, even from a man owned and born into the Italian mob. He doesn’t get Kova carved on his arm, he gets it cut over his heart after he and Alex mentally break Jeff down over the course of a weekend in David’s basement.

“And what do you have now, Jeff?” Alex asks, as David finishes up the A in Kova with his dagger. The modelesque man doesn’t flinch with the cut, he just stares ahead, tears dried on his face from a long weekend of reprogramming.

“A new family.”

David laughs as he wipes away the blood from the man’s chest and disinfects the wounds so they don’t fester.

He’s got international backing and a spy now.

David buys Jeff a nice house and spends an insane amount of money ruining his ex-girlfriends acting career. He likes the malicious look on Jeff’s face when he sees the tweets roll in, exposing Cierra’s MDMA addiction and several crude sex tapes from Jeff and her’s threesomes with a married director.

Jeff thinks he made the right choice.

Family over blood, always.

•••••

That’s how the kids become Kova.

And how David builds his empire to reflect his strength.

•••••

Mob Boss AU Masterlist

[evilelitest2]

100 Days of Trump: 1/100, Assassins, the Mind of the Alt Right

“Everybody’s got the Right to be Happy, don’t be mad, life’s not as bad a it seems.  If you keep your goal in sight, you can climb to any height.  Everybody’s Got a Right to their Dreams” 

So again, this is my response to my nation’s madness, to try to understand the insanity and explain WTF just happened, how did something like this ever come to pass?  So I am going to recommend 100 things that can help people understand what is going and how to fight it.  First and more importantly, the single most important thing to understand Trump, is the Musical Assassins by Stephen Songheim

You can listen to the soundtrack here  The music is good, with a lot to recommend but I want to talk about the psychology of madness that is its core tenant.  

   The play is about a strange fantasy realm where all of the presidential assassins live together, from John Wilkes Booth to Lee Harvey Oswald, they hang out, justify, and rationalize their actions.  The play is about the psychology of people who take violence, and trying to understand the people who think that killing the president will solve their problems.  And very quickly it becomes apparent that to understand assassins, you need to understand American culture as a whole.   That Giuseppe Zangara’s belief that killing President Roosevelt would cure his stomach illness or Samuel Byck who tried to hit Nixon with a plane in a Santa costume isn’t just the demented psychosis of demented madmen, but is part of American culture as a whole.  The play notes that  Presidential assassins aren’t political activists or agents of rival factions, but instead individual nutters who take it upon them selves to kill the president.  These universally white and overwhelmingly male figures mostly don’t have a coherent political ideology or frame of principles, but instead more of a vague emotional bag of insecurities and demented psychosis writ large.  The musical is set in a nightmarish Carnival, where the assassins desperately compete for “The Prize” of the American dream, and national renown serves as the rationalization for violence.  

Sound familiar?  Well its the theme of the Trump Campaign, here this is basically their theme song 

   All of the assassins (except Booth who plays the role of lucifer in the tale) are in various degrees losers, the social maladjusted, the failed dreamers, left over forgotten people, but critically they all buy into the idea of the American Dream.  Even as they consistently fail to do anything productive with their own lives, they idealize the American dream worshiping the notion that anybody can one day become President of the United States.  These are people born with privilege, but for various reasons are unable to reep the full benefits of that privilege, and feeling betrayed they lash out.  Conspiracy theorists, radicals, and racists, at their heart these people are pathetically lonely, and reminds you of nothing so much as MRAs or the Alt Right. I mean isn’t this just the Manosphere in a nutshell?

People who fetishist the idea of guns, capitalistic progress, and above all machismo, but  at their heart they are failures at all that they strive for, and whose ranting underlies a sense of insecurity and loss.  These people aren’t intellectuals, instead they find the resents of an ideology and cling to it as driftwood, they make a Cargo Cult out of American values and using it as a security blanket for their own feeling of inadequacy.  And in this bubble of loneliness, entitlement, narcissism and above all shame, which quickly turns to resentment.  And over time, that turns to violence, and they become so myopic they no longer even realize that their actions hurt other people, that such ideas have rhetoric.  Above all, these people truly believe themselves to be the underdogs, that they are the persecuted fighting against an America that owes them a prize.   Where the American dream is unbridled optimism, they are what happens when you combine it with a kitch sort of nihilism which as inspired people from the Columbine Shooters to Dylan Roof.  Trump is the what happens when people understand the problems with the system enough to become disillusions but lack the emotional and intellectual maturity to comprehend it properly

listen to this bit of a man quite articulately understanding the problems with the two party system and then come to the exact wrong conclusions of how to respond to it

There is a lot to like in the Musical in how it talks about the Two Party System, Nice Guy Syndrome, Gun Culture and much more, but I just want to leave on this exchange.  The Assassins plead with Lee Harvey Oswald to kill JFK and he says “People will hate me” and Booth says “Yes they will hate you, they will hate you with a passion that is unimaginable.  Imagine it, people will have strong feelings about you, people will care about Lee Harvey Oswald”  The musical isn’t about endorsing them, in fact it is a very strong condemnation of that mindset, but why I recommend it, is because it is through this that you can understand the type of mindset that votes for Trump.  But it is more than just the Right, because some of the Assassins are actually more leftist, its about misdirected rage and frustration being channeled into unhealthy channels by those who have internally given up on everything except the American dream, if you want a primer on how not to respond to a dying political system, this is it. 

   Which brings up the other reason why this musical is important, cause with the least popular president in history now in power, a lot of people are talking about killing him, and I just want to make this clear, that is not how you respond to a broken political system.  All that will do is create a left wing form of what we see in assassins, a naive optimism mixed with absolute disillusionment, the same mentality of bitterness and rage that lashes out in destructive violence and it doesn’t work.  It just weakens the political system and buys into their structure, the right’s narrative, and harms the country as a collective whole. The left is going through some hard times now, there is a way to fight power in the US rather than feeding into the toxic narrative of personal vengeance somehow solving complicated problems.  It didn’t for help Leon Czolgosz, it certainly isn’t going to help us now

For really, what better sums up the Election of Donald Trump than this?