#ha pysch bitch im not

[manmadedonut]

i met @bilgewaterbath one day and we became best friends just because i love Yar and she loves data and i BASICALLY just became very very verbal about what i like and mentions her every single time

[lucifervchatse]

Eye Contact

This is my first Fic post and im still adjusting to the tumblr Layout. (it’s whooping my ass)

Description: You and ony have been dating for a few months. You’ve been taking anti depressants and your mood has been shot.

wk:: idk..

Warnings? Aggressive behavior, semi-Toxicish, short-Smut. fem!Reader who’s black and autistic. cussing .Eye contact. Hair pulling. Cream pie! small age gap. 4 years~ bad communication. Nigga is used. pet names (I’m adding this shit on as i write) doggy style then upward doggy. Ony a sweetie pie yall.

You hated eye contact. It always makes you uncomfortable. Which is so easy to read with you, once you started playing with your locs it’s obvious when you started to play with your hair and pat your head that you’re uncomfortable.

Yet people still demand you to look you in their eye. Your boyfriend Ony understands to a certain point but he likes looking you in the eye. It shows respect he claims, but even still you refuse to stare him in the eye to long. You would at something behind him or at his neck he especially makes you nervous.

You set comfortable on your boyfriends bed as you waited for his arrival. It’s 10:34 you mumble to your self. luckily you have a spare key card so your able to go in and out as you please in cases like this. You heard the door handle rattling singling you that he’s home.

“Hey babe.” You mumble. You didn’t have a attitude. You never really do but he didn’t know that. “What’s wrong with you?” He ask sitting his bag down behind the door and kicked off his shoes,before sitting next to you on the bed. “Nothing, I’m fine” He turn to look at him then looking back on the phone. “Why are you in the dark?” He grab the tv remote from the nightstand beside the table.

You hate it when he mentions you being in the dark. You didn’t mind. You like it more then the light. The light hurts your eyes making you agitated. “I just prefer it. I don’t like the light.” You moved over, now getting annoyed. He mumble something under his breath. Sadly you didn’t catch it still scrolling through tiktok watching some videos about Theories on a current anime you wanted to catch on.

“You know you need to communicate more.” He look over at you. “I do communicate.” you said still locked in your phone. He snatch your phone from your hand.

“See this the shit I be talking about y/n. You don’t even acknowledge me when I’m talking to you!” He gritted through his teeth. You didn’t even care about what he said you just wanted your phone. You reach over him try to get your phone back but he was taller then you. (Nigga like 6’4 Y/n like 5’6) “Bro give me my phone. I’m not playing with you!”

You yelled at him getting up from the bed. You paced around the small room. “Nah, You ain’t getting this shit until you talk.” You stop mid pace to look at him. “And fix your face.” He add you roll your eyes. “Ain’t shit wrong with me. You on dick for real. Hop off.” You ranted. Ony stared at you with a blank face making it even harder for you to even think.

“This the shit i’m talking about. You get so aggravate when I ask you what’s wrong and you start bitching.” He started he grab you by your hands. “I understand it’s hard for you to talk but you have to learn baby..Look at me.” He place his hand on your chin so you can look him in the eyes. “I said it before nothings wrong. You just assume so much! This is just how I talk to people”

Ony nods. He stared as you as you talk causing a little discomfort and since he’s hold your hands you started to bounce your leg. “I’m fine! I pass my pysch exam today! I’m just a little tired I guess but it’s nothing that can’t be fix.” You stop pouted. You sat next to him on the bed and lay you head on his shoulder.

He kiss your forehead. “It’s okay. I know your not use to it but your in a relationship now. it’s hard to read the emotions on your face. We can help each other.” He pulled you on his lap. Now face to face with him it made you uneasy. The eye contact made you feel uncomfortable you shifted on his lap trying to distract him from looking you in the eye.

“Stop moving on my dick ma, Shit ain’t gonna work.” He slapped your ass warning you to stop moving. You pout. You tugged sweatshirt trying to pull it off.

“the only thing your gonna make it up to me if you riding and yo ass don’t have megan knees let me save you the pain..” Once he said that Suddenly you face up ass down.

You was cold. With the cold air hitting your bake body you became sensitive to his small touches.

You use his large hands to spread your pussy apart giving her small butterfly kisses. “You remember the last time we had sex?” You deepen your arch and shook your head. “It was 2 months ago…”

He flick his tongue along the walls of your pussy. Sucking one lip then moving to the other lip. “Shit so fat.” You buck your hips against his mouth craving for more.

Instead he position himself. His tip just pressing again your pussy.

“Imma fuck your dumbass up.” He pushed himself in feeling your walls tighten around his dick. “Fuucck” You moaned out. “Waittt..To much..” You try to move forward but Ony quickly shut that shit down. He pushed you back on. “Where you going? We just started?” He gritted through his teeth. Changing your guy’s current position.

Your back was press against his chest forcing you to arch as your back was firmly press against him. He gripped your arms to your side thrusting into you aggressively. “Tight.Ass.Pussy..” He groan making sure you take every inch. “Slow down!!!!” You whine Ony use one hand to hold your hands in place and the other one to push down against the bulge he was giving you.

You tits was bouncing with each thrust he gave you. Nipples perk up with pure bliss and excitement. Waiting for your release to come.

The knock in your stomach feels like it’s coming undone. “Baby..F-fuck imma cum! So-Slow down!” You gasped out. Throwing your head back staring at his lips. “Hm? You gonna cum? you know where you got to cum on.” his pace fasten. He want to see you become nothing but a mess.

“Wait- Fuck! Oh my god!! Don’t! Fucking!” You couldn’t even form a word. His on grip your waist was tight. It only took a few more thrust before you knot became undone.

“Oh fucccck!!” You moaned out. Eyes shooting open your legs shaking as you cream on his dick. Ony slowly pull out. “There you go baby.” He laid you gently on the bed,placing multiple kissing on your face.

“My sweet girl. That wasn’t so bad was it?” He laid up beside you. getting the covers to put over y’all.

“We’re on the wrong side of tinge bed I can’t sleep.” You turn to look at him. Ony laughed. “girl if you don’t-“

A/N

PLEASE THIS IS MY FIRST FIC THIS FEELS LIKE WATTPAD ALL IVER AGAIN. I can’t figure out how to get the word count but imma round this shit up to 2k And a big thank you to @shahanaazsoumah ! Thank you for supporting and please give me feedback. Next i’m thinking about writing an Drugdealer!Eren x Fem! college student reader 😄. I’m 18 in college yet I still struggle with grammar and spelling I apologize for that im still working on it in college (They KICKING MY ASS) Thabk you for reading!!

[fumingspice]

andante

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader

Prompt: oK so how about like?? Delia x reader and they're both in love af but they think the other has no feelings for them so they're both tripping over themselves to make the other love them and then madison comes in and she's just like 'stop being dumb' and they finally realise how much the other loves them.

I’m sorry but my ed crept back in and im not horny enough to put more thought into writing so just ignore the massive time skip at “---”. enjoy, you strange people xo

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*(*❦ω❦)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble...

Between Cordelia Goode's ears were pretty brown eyes and a mind full of thoughts. Brown eyes were never really your favourite until you saw them on her. You knew yourself that somehow, over the years you got to know Cordelia; working with her, befriending her, carrying her home from the bar one night when she got far too drunk, letting her cry into your shoulder when her job became too real and she could feel her mother's words hanging over her head.

When you started falling for the woman with those beautiful brown eyes.

Somehow, her eyes were now your favourite colour.

Not brown- brown wasn't simply the word for the colour. Cordelia's eyes were the colour of aged whiskey. Sometimes they were the only two safe shots of tequila that you could see. Sometimes they were a beautiful milk chocolate dotted with exposed honeycomb. Once when she had asked you to help her decorate the garden for the Summer Equinox- she had given Zoe enough money to take the girls on a field trip for the day so she could give the girls a little party. You stood watching her in her denim shorts and her white button up. When she had stepped back and put her arm around you to admire both of your handy work you could have sworn her eyes were glowing like fresh magma.

Her hand lay on your waist a split second too long.

You had fallen in love with the Supreme.

"Yo, bitch!" Madison Montgomery's usual entrance phrase disturbed you from your imagination. You raised your brow and smirked.

"Yes, Madison?"

The blonde took her sunglasses off her face and closed them with a slight snap. "The girls want to know if you wanna come to play Pysch! with us," she said. Her lips were curled in what could almost be described as a friendly smile. You were one of the few honoured to know that under Madison's bitchy white girl facade there was actually a very sweet someone lurking under there.

You thought for a moment and put your pen down. "I won't be long- I just have to log these last few names and I'll be there," you tell her. Madison rolled her eyes and waved her hand, the pen lifted itself and wrote the last thirteen names within seconds. "You're done. Let's go, Y/N."

Madison didn't even give you a minute to say anything before she walked out of the room. "Come on, bitch. Don't make me use my powers!" she called from the hallway, finally motivating you to move.

The girls sat in a circle in Zoe's bedroom. Lights off. Candles lit.

Zoe, Queenie, Mallory, and Coco were indulged in their phones for the game. Madison turned to you and held up her phone to show you the question. "What is Zoe's deepest, darkest secret?" she read. "You gotta answer it and the person with the most votes wins. It lasts for ten rounds and it can be fucking hilarious."

Zoe's face was red with laughter at the answers. "She's not actually a witch- that's not even funny," she gasped through cackles. She then sobered slightly. "She likes to watch Danny Devito movies while masturbating and screaming 'I am a dirty man'."

Madison was the only one who chortled at that.

You joined the game and got your best answers ready in your head. "If Madison got arrested tomorrow what would it be for?"

Madison rolled her eyes and muttered something about knowing exactly what everyone was about to answer. You smirked slightly, sensing her slight apprehension.

Prostitution.

Murder. Third-degree.

Fucking up the brakes on a bus full of frat boys.

Public Nudity.

"Gosh, you're so original," she muttered, glaring right at Zoe, who just shrugged.

"It's the rules of the game, bitch. Go all in, don't get offended," she replied.

The game pinged for the next question.

"What is on Y/N's mind right now?"

Coco gave a loud "Ha!" and typed quickly, along with the other girls who were all typing as quickly as possible to get their answers in first.

A quiet knock came from the other side of the door and Cordelia poked her head around. "Sorry to interrupt, girls. Y/N, could I borrow you for a moment?" she asked, voice sweet and angelic. You bounced up as soon as she finished the sentence and obliged straight away. You were met with a sweet smile.

Madison flicked her brows. "Speak of the devil," she muttered, winking at Delia's slightly confused face. As you left, your phone pinged to announce the results just before you left the game.

Cordelia 🥵🥵🥵

Delia. I ship it <3

Getting knuckle deep finger fucked by the HWIC

French fries

You quickly shut off your phone screen before Cordelia could see.

"What's the matter, Delia?" You asked, practically skipping alongside her. There was a vibrant air of satisfaction between you.

Cordelia shook her head, her blonde hair bobbing with her movements. “I just wanted to know if you’d like to go out.”

You felt your heart stop. “Go out?”

Cordelia looked hurt by the confusion on your face.

“Yes. Would you like to join me in the garden?”

“Oh,” you realised, slightly disappointed. “I would love to.”

---

"For the love of Hades. Right, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything because I have some understanding that lesbians are fucking useless because of the fear of appearing to be predatory because the media is an asshole,” Madison continued. “But I don’t really think any of us can eat at this table anymore without choking on the fucking sexual tension between the both of you.”

Cordelia looked shocked. “It’s not that-”

“I’m a fucking mindreader! You do get that I can fucking hear the things that you say in your head about what you want to do to Y/N? I’m one gutter minded bitch and not even I’m creative enough to come up with that shit while I’m eating my fucking apple turnover!”

You blushed hard and chuckled.

Madison’s neck snapped towards you. “Oh, and don’t getting me fucking started on you! Do you know how fucking unsanitary it would be to carry out your little fantasies of fucking Cordy on the kitchen counter? Not even for us but the amount of fucking crumbs that would work into your nooks and crannies would be like trying to spring clean Myrtle's fucking hair! "

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cordelia chuckled nervously. Her face turning a shade of red. “I’m sure Y/N’s got plenty of better options.”

Madison dropped her face in her hands and rubbed her temples. “God, you bitches are going to put fucking years on my skin.”

“Oh, give me a break, Madison.”

Cordelia stumbled foward slightly, having been tripped up by some unseeable force and sending her tumbling into you. Her hands lay against your chest for that split second too long once more.

Your lips parted for a moment and your breath hitched as you both watched Madison smirk and leave the room. It felt like your heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. You surroundings were unnoticable to you now; replaced by unidentifiable whirls of colour and light. Your hand rested flat on Cordelia’s cheek. It was different this time. Not the spark, that had been there every time you touched. It was the fact that you were both too slow to ignore the ignition that started in your chests. 

You saw her eyebrows falter from their previously confident expression, like all of her preparation and barriers and walls had fallen down and she was too slow to replace them. Cordelia pursed her lips, presumably trying to figure out what she should say to you. Again, she was too slow as you inhaled sharply and thrust yourself forward to catch her lips.

Delia was quick to mould herself to the curves of your front, hands falling to the small of your back on a collision course as she backed you into the dining room table. You smoothed your hands over the contours of her jaw, her collar bones, breasts, hips like you were a master pianist playing a brilliant concerto. Her body was the only instrument you longed to play; her moans the only melody that you longed to draw from her.

As her lips glided across your own, everything came together like pieces into place. You thought back one of those late nights in the kitchen. The way Delia’s fingers had so enthusiastically laced through yours during the late night in the kitchen when you had both stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking about life. How the witch had turned the radio on and taken your hand while you danced to some song by REO Speedwagon. Twirling you through the night. “Can’t fight this feeling” was the song. Ironic, now that you thought about it. It seemed as though fighting her feelings was what she had been doing the entire time.

She twirled you around in the light of the dim television and the refrigerator when the songs were upbeat, even going as far as dipping you and pulling you up again. Bare thighs against your own in her shorts and oversized shirt. When the songs that were played were slower, she was more gentle. Until eventually you swayed in a slow two-step, your head against her chest, and hers against yours. The air was thick with something pure. Something untouched. 

You had no idea why you ever just thought this was something two best friends did. More so, you had no idea why you didn’t lean back and dip into her lips and allow your souls to dance the waltz that they were so clearly destined for. 

Cordelia’s thumb and finger lay on either side of your jaw as she continued to kiss you as if her soul depended on it. Her fingers interlocked with yours against the table.

She broke away, tears had fallen down her cheeks and made your heart melt. “Oh-ho,” you chuckled, mouth agape at her sight. “Why the tears, my love?”

Cordelia laughed, wiping away her tears. “I’ve longed to do that for so long,” she replied. “So, so long.”

You chuckled at her sweetness and the display of pure love that you were so unaccustomed to.

“I fell in love with you, Y/N. I don’t think I will ever stop falling in love with you. You’ve created this storm of beautiful chaos in me,” she continued. “Do you remember that night where I was really sleepy, so you let me just stay in your room? How I had fallen asleep on top of you by accident and you wrapped your arms around me and hummed a lullaby?”

You nodded, remember the feeling of waking up with the Supreme in your arms.

“I was wide awake,” she told you. A delicate smile arose.

You chuckled into her touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you replied, drawing her closer, her blonde hair twirled in your fingers. “I know you were.”

[duncecaped-blog]

I don’t give a Fuck .

tWhen someone talks about “Im *insert any sexuality or made up gender* “ 

I don’t give a fuck.

When someone thinks their special, and thinks that they are above people

I don’t give a fuck.

When someone has to explain that they are leftist/conservative 

I don’t give a fuck.

When someone thinks that white people are the ONLY racist race, and has to vent about it to me.

I don’t give a fuck.

When people say being fat/anorexic is good, and I should be excepting towards it

I don’t give a fuck.

When someone says Im sexist for saying that modern feminism is fucking dumb

I don’t give a fuck

When someone bitches about a game/show/anime being to sexist

I don’t give a fuck.

Regular peeps don’t give a fuck, because it doesn’t matter to regular people at at all. Im fucking done with people’s shit, and frankly I could careless about your stupid ass feelings. 

Every Race can be Racist.

Your not SPECIAL or ‘QUIRKY’, your an ASSHAT who thinks that their being different, but doesn’t know that your just like ever other girl/guy.

I don’t care about your FUCKING PRONOUNS.

If your Fat/Anorexic and you think that lifestyle is good, then FUCK OFF to the hospital/nutrionist/therapist/pysche ward, and seek help.

If you constant say that something you don’t like is sexist, chances are your fucking yuppie that can’t see past apperances, and complains about the look of characters, rather than learn story/lore of them.

There’s two genders. Genders aren’t personalities.

Straight people aren’t always fucking homophobic.

Christians aren’t always homophobic. 

I don’t care about your Political party, whether Demo or Repub, as long as I get my pay check, then I could careless.

Depression is not a Fashion statement, I REPEAT. DEPRESSION  IS  NOT A FASHION STATEMENT.

Furries.... uh.... chill out with the diapers yo. 

Music doesn’t care what race you are, as long as your listening to the song, the notes or musicians ( I hope) don’t care.

Men have feelings too, and sometimes we break. Please stop throwing insults at males who can’t handle it. Males are committing more suicide.

Don’t push Beliefs on people. It scarres people away from something they could’ev enjoyed.

Mass Shooters/Murderers aren’t cute, and if you think they are. https://www.nimh.nih.gov › health › find-help 

alright Im done, finna go fall off some stairs.

[the-nerd-life-chose-me]

Random Riverdale Thoughts

I feel like when a lot of people start talking about Barchie as a couple, the second thing they do is start trying to pair off Veronica and Jughead.

But like....why?

If barchie is gonna happen (i doubt it will as of rn) how about this:

Jughead is aroace (like he was SUPPOSED TO BE)

Jug: hey betty. I just figured out im aroace. I would like to discontinue this romantic relationship immediately. I still love you platonically and platonic love is no less valid than romantic love. We can still be friends right?

Betty: Of course Juggie. We've been friends since kindergarten. I hope i never made you feel uncomfortable during our relationship. And thanks for telling me. As a person not on the aroace spectrum, i can only imagine how hard it was for you to come out to me.

*hugs and done*

Meanwhile....

Veronica: i think I need to talk a break Archie. Learning how evil my father truly is has been hard on my teenage pysche.

Archie: i understand V. All this mobster stuff with your dad has really messed me up too. Maybe we should see other people?

Veronica: you know what, I think I'm good for now. I'm a boss ass bitch and i dont need no man. But you go ahead.

*kiss and maybe break up sex? They seem the type*

CUT TO A WEEK LATER IN A BOOTH AT POP'S. BETTY AND ARCHIE HARD CORE MAKING OUT ON ONE-SIDE. Jughead and Veronica sit on the other.

Veronica (staring): is that what me and Archie used to looked like?

Jug: thats what ALL couples look like...*beat of the silence* Hey, i stole a copy of "night of the living dead" from the drive in before it closed. Wanna go watch it?

Veronica: ew. *beat of silence* okay, lets go.

VERONICA AND JUGHEAD SLIDE OUT OF THE BOOTH

* ”jeronica” tag removed. Sorry dudes. Meant to specify “PLATONIC jeronica”

[seriesrants]

PLL 7x19

Ok so this episode gave us charlottes murderer, aria being allowed back into the squad, mona going full circle back to crazy, several arrests and a false confession. Sick.

So it’s starts with Aria, after finding dunhill in her boot and she is getting pulled over by a cop. She gets out of it when the cop gets distracted. But for some reason the guilt builds up inside of her and she decides to call it quits and confess to the murder. Sweet.

Caleb is all “mona is fucking A.D” and Ezra is all “yeah fuck you guys. You can’t just dump aria like that. Your all pretty terrible fucking people. Get over it” and they rest of the group is all “yeah fuck”

Ezra stops arias confession and she’s all “yeah but I got a dead guy in my car” Ezra isn’t even fazed and he’s all “I’ve got a lit degree I have the answer to everything” but before they can do anything the body is already gone. Obviously, this is PLL.

Spencer finds another note from Mary and finds her at the lost woods resort. Mary is all “im giving this to you and Ali cause your totally fucked now and your gonna need money to pay for lawyers. Lmao”

Mona finds that the game is gone and follows a note telling her to meet at a diner. Caleb, Hannah and spencer all follow her to the diner and then Caleb is all “yo wtf mona” and mona is all “there is someone else always following me. They keep stealing the damn game” then she fucks of through the bathroom window after receiving a note from A telling her to haul ass outta there.

Whilst trying to find mona, Caleb reveals to spencer that he is married to Hannah and he’s all “sorry lmao” and spencer is all “yeah don’t be though. Like I’m fine. It was chill getting to bone you but now I got Toby back it’s all g”

Meanwhile in a car ride to meet up with the rest of the gang Ali is all “sorry aria. We acted like high schoolers it wasn’t cool” and aria is all “nah it’s chill”. Cool Ali fucking ran away for 4 years and made everyone think she was dead. Ali can literally never judge

Hannah fucks of back to rosewood. She notices petals falling from the church and chooses to investigate. Amazing idea. She finds mona all old school calling Hannah charlotte. Spencer is all “wtf happened” and mona is all “cece was fucking crazy the whole time. She was a total bitch and wanted to torture you all again. we got into a fight and I pushed her onto a metal piece sticking from the wall. Lmao. Whoops” Ok so mona killed cece. But like, do I even care anymore?

Mona totally tries to kill Hannah tho (thinking she was cece) and the girls are all “she’s not ok. We can’t turn her in. She needs help. they send her to a pysch”

Because mona confessed, the rest of the gang get the last puzzle piece. They put it on the game. Which is now mysteriously in Ali’s house. It reveals eyes. Cool.

The game then tells them to dig up dunhills body at Ali’s aunts house. Why the fuck is there another damn dilaurentis fam member?

They all rush to dig up his grave but then aria is all “why the fuck are we even doing this. Let’s just ducking leave him. Legit like what do we get from this” and then the girls are like “yo shit. That actually makes sense”

Wow if only they thought of that like 10 years ago. It’s to late though cause the police show up and tanner is all “lmao I fucking told you I’d get you”.

The girls are totally fucked but then Mary is all “nah I did it, I killed Jessica and dunhill, lmao” And the girls are all “fucking sick, another crime dodged”

But tanner is all “I know she didn’t kill dunhill you bitches” spencer tears up a bit watching Mary get hauled away.

The game is all congrats (cause mona admitted to killing cece) and shuts off. The girls are all “sick, now that’s over, the fuck do we do?” The episode ends with A.D driving into the sunset. Wtf. Why is this even a thing? 

Anyways only one more episode to go. Fuck yeah! 

^^^^The girls when Mary confessed and they got to walk free

^^^ tanner congratulating the fact that Mary’s bullshit confession lets the girls walk free, and she has to accept defeat once again 

[xxkeepoutxx]

HSGD DAY TWO

Weight at Start of Day: 77.9 (-.35)

Food:

Breakfast: protein shake and monster Ultra (107.7)

Lunch: Salad (199.5)

Dinner: Curry with roast veggies (512.42)

Exercise:

None - I was very busy today and slept in :/

Macros:

P: 39.2, C: 97.2, F: 30.7

Total Calories:   862/800

Feelings:

Pysched about the weigh in considering the late night ice cream binge :/ And the lack of BM before weighing, but a bitch has got to get to work cant wait for that shit (lol) I’ve decided to be a little more lenient with calorie counting considering i’m counting veggies and fruit. Was initially going to take 182 off today’s total due to going over yesterday but i think that wld have just made it far too low for me. Plus if i wasnt counting fruit and veg yesterdays total wld have been 796 and todays wld have been 402 which would have had me well within range. 

I feel a bit hungry rn but im going to go to sleep to avoid stuffing myself later

[whatevesed]

I am stuck. Engaging in behaviours,check, thoughts focused on food and weight, check, not following meal plan even remotely, check. Does this count as a relapse?

I wish I had a team to talk to here. But my current contact is literally useless. After my psych last session, where they asked if we had a meeting scheduled and she was like ‘yup we do’, and then was like ‘Ill call you’...have yet to hear anything. And I guess I could ring her, but I actually dont know what she will do because she is yet to help me. I dont want her to come to my next pysch coz i dont feel comfortable with her but i dunno if i can say that to her face if she is there. ugggh

And then I feel like maybe I should talk to my friend, but she really dont get it at all. Pretty sure everypne thinks that since Im out of resi and working again, I must be cured, when haha nope im spiralling and sooner or later its gona catch up to me and im gona pass out at work and probably end up losing my job. Also, my friend who I love and adore, I’m pretty sure has her own food issues - most likely BED, and I dont want to offend her at all by saying how much I hate my ED habits when she does the same thing, and I dont want to shame her or anything. Conflicted. (Or am I looking for excuses).

Really though, Im just a big fat useless bitch, who has it pretty cushy and should appreciate what she’s got instead of being misery guts.