#haHA i really overshared on this one whoopS

[munamania]

i won’t screenshot the dms bc i don’t feel like opening the latest message but EYE posted on my story abt the tiktok pictured below basically about how i got horny thinking abt someone working through a difficult math problem lol don’t worry abt that anyway sam slides up bc i cut part of it out so as to avoid insta censors and my slight embarrassment lol and was like does that say c*m and i was like well yes and then he was like haha what you’re into math… girl u have to walk w the thought process 😑 which i know you’re incapable of anyway so i vaguely responded like ah yeah what being away from stem for so long will do to u and he responds with like ten messages. including. ‘you gotta do it yourself’ that’s not the point 🙄 ‘you know how i’m terrible at talking to women’ wow really ‘so i realized i can calculate the speed of cum’ ‘bc i have some data’ DID I ASK?????!???!?!!!?!!!!! hello there’s oversharing and then there’s this… does the girl you’re having sex with know you share to this extent. and then he said how he accidentally brought this up to someone irl to be like haha awk whoops and i was like yeah well there r times where perhaps we need to self censor. and then i also get a message that’s like ‘hang on im doing the math’ IM NEVER EVER EVER GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO U I HOPE U KNOW THAT SCREAAMMMMM (and u need to know bc he’s genderfluid. im only using one set of pronouns for clarity on here ok i promise im not a dick. but he thinks he’s like. an exception for lesbians basically… like he doesn’t Count…. and like look im no essentialist im all for like freaky gender sex but also at so many other turns you do take advantage of being seen as a white male so. i don’t. yeah.) he’s kind of like the creepy dude at the edge of the friend group in high school named matt who would constantly harass me and my ex but like tried to be so lowk abt it. and it’s so bad basically. ‘17mph is crazy’ i hope you fall in an intersection sorry i can’t do this anymore 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 so pissed i have to see him tmrw i should be able to watch mmxxl w scully in peace

[sunbeambutch]

a lot of questions sowwy 22 23 24 27 30 - eleven

Thank you for asking!!

22. Have you ever had romantic feelings or have been in romantic relationships with someone who only exists in your daydreaming world?

Nope!! I HAVE had plenty of one-off daydreams where I imagine being with some girl, but that person is never developed or appears in other daydreams, so I wouldn’t even go as far to call them a para. Plenty of my paras are in romantic relationships with each other, but none of them have been my parames.

23. If you could enter a special machine that would allow you to spend the rest of your life in your daydreaming world(s), so you could keep all your abilities but never interact with the physical world again, would you do it?

I’ve asked myself this question many, many times. And the answer is always inevitably yes. In my paracosms I have deep and personal connections with dozens of people. My relationship with my family isn’t hanging by a thread. I can help people. I’m loved by millions. I’m patient, good at communicating, and I’m strong and brave. None of these things describe me in real life.

I’d leave in a heartbeat. And I wouldn’t look back.

24. Do you ever feel like real life never will (or never can) get as good as your daydreaming/traveling life is?

Of course. Because it’s true. For starters, I’m never going to have superpowers, or battle demons. That mindset alone made me stay in my daydreams for years. Because what was the point of real life?

I’m slowly learning that although the outside world doesn’t have living, breathing dragons to slay, that doesn’t mean that I can’t achieve things in real life that won’t give me the same sense of accomplishment.

27. What if you suddenly lost the ability to travel/daydream. How would you feel?

I would lose my grip on everything. Daydreaming is one of my sole coping mechanisms. Whenever I’m in a bad emotional state, I go straight to daydreaming. In a large crowd, or noisy room, where normally I would begin to shut down and panic, I can daydream, and it makes things easier. Hell, I even daydream when I’m in physical pain. MaDD has made serious negative affects on my life, but I also use it as a way to get through each day.

My daydreams give me the motivation to continue doing the things I love. Reading, creating art… all of my passions lead back to my paracosms in some way.

I love my paras as if they were real people, as nearly every other MaDDer does. If I suddenly lost all connection with them, I’d never be the same.

30. How does traveling/daydreaming influence your life? Do you think it’s a positive or a negative effect, overall?

This is a hard question to answer for me. My view of MaDD changes constantly depending on how well things are going for me that particular moment.

One day, if all my daydreams were pleasant and exciting, and if I didn’t feel like I had hindered my productivity too much by daydreaming, I’d be very grateful to have MaDD.

What an amazing thing, to be able to have such vivid and emotional scenes play out in my head! To have the power to map out entire worlds and plots with dozens of characters, have it all branch out in my mind, like a intricate spiderweb only I know how to navigate.

I feel gifted.

The next day, I have five separate things to accomplish and I do none of them. I spend all day looking up, my eyes glazed over and my mouth moving slightly. I haven’t said hello to anyone today. A friend sits with me and makes small talk, but it’s obvious I’m not engaged. They give up. I don’t blame them. A scene I was enjoying suddenly takes a violent turn, and I can’t go back, it continues to play out. It doesn’t matter how much it scares or disgusts me, my daydreams have a mind of their own. I try to get the images out of my head but I can’t, and all the while there are papers still waiting in a messy stack on my desk. It’s been dark for hours and I still haven’t touched them. I haven’t brushed my teeth in two days. None of it matters, nothing in this world matters when in the other I can finally fly.  

I feel hopeless.

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

S3 ep5

Current emotional status: FEAR

Cthulu Max has been on the rampage for a whole week!?

Ew, the narrator

Oh man, are they sending the airforce after him?

I really like Cthulu Max's design

Momma Bosco 💗

Oh hey, Norrington and Papierwaite are alive.

Superball are you saying you tried to send the Maimtrons up Max's--

Also he's acting president while Max is... deposed of.

Superball is only giving Sam until 6am :(

Featherly!

"Wandering around the moleman tunnels is no fun without Max."

"You got it all wrong, we're trying to help Max." "We will help him... to a generous serving of ass whooping."

"That is one rabbit who will be multiplied... into 2,000 smoldering pieces."

Carol ran off with Blustet

"I only want her to be happy, is all." Aw, Curt

Superball just admitted to having separation anxiety from Max

Ok Momma can't come but Papierwaite and Norringron can.

I like Norrington :)

GASP

Is it?

It is!

SYBIL!!!!

RETURN OF THE QUEEN

Oh, she is very pregnant

She was a wizard at one point?

She's gonna help!

Superball there's no such thing as acceptable losses

Abe has his body back

"Four score and seven tons of raw power"

HE CAN FLY NOW!?

Sybil, I love you, but why did you mod someone else's car???

Grandpa Stinky I love you

Oh, he just handed us the recipe for once.

Asdfff the spore maxes swarming Grandpa

They stole Grandpa's hotdogs

"We must feed the host! Piglets and sphinkters make us stronger!" "We regret nothing!"

Grandpa hasn't slept in three years

Sam just casually taking the last of Grandpa's corndogs

The spores are trying to get it

Lol Sam slapped them

Sal's alive!

He's hiding from Sam :(

Lol we can control Cthulu Max with Corndogs

Ew, the cornstarch got mixed in with the giant puddle 🤢 Looks gross

Love how Sybil completely ignores the Flaming Max head

Also the look of disappointment on the spore's face made me laugh

Fifth trimester???

The way the one Max spore by Grandpa's truck is bobbing in circles with his mouth open is making me laugh.

Sam showing concern for Sybil because she’s preggers 🥺

Her being pregnant with Abe's child implies that statues have working genital in this universe

She put a weiner scented airfreshener in the desoto

At least Sam and a Max spore seem to like that (of course they do)

"Sybil you're the best!" Hell yeah she is!

Sam's mind went to the color bar codes to prevent being traumatized by Sybil's oversharing

We drowned the desoto

Asdfgh Sam just botched slapped one of the spores for trying to say "that's none of your damn buisness."

Ew, Max's spine is pointing out

Oh hey, Satan and Jurgen

Why is Jurgen wearing his old fashioned clothes instead of his emo clothes?

Lol Sam snuck into frame to shout "Go Mets! New York rules!"

"--besides it's just a good and noble thing to do." "You're not familiar with my previous work, are you?"

"Sam, what happened to you to make you so cynical?" Gee, Jurgen, I wonder what could have possibly happened.

Oh so the water tower counts as vegetable oil because Momma did something to it

Pfft we can replace Satan's microphone with a corndog

Omg they jumped off the building to avoid Max

Oh, they're fine, and the oil is in the giant puddle.

I'm thankful to Featherly for giving us an egg but I'd have preferred not to watch him lay it. Granted it was just in a cartoon way but he still made weird noises

Also TRANS FEATHERLY 2021

"I desperately wanted to see that, sir. Ask him if he'll lay another one."

Oh hey, the Flaming Max heads helped heat up the giant desoto corndog

Since I'm playing this in 2021 the Maimtron's song references are super dated, which defeats Superball's efforts

Oooh! A unique opening sequence???

Oh this music is jazzy af

Sam really doesn't like the Max spores

Sam how do you already know what Max's insides look like???

"Even when he's not a collasal monster Max's food comas can last for weeks."

Ok we wake Max up with the coffee beans, right?

Yup!

The gi Max spore is so sad he doesn't get to come 😢

"But I'm a horrible monster!"

"I suppose Max's brain always looks like a living room?" "Well, Max is host to all kinds of weird parasites, and he likes to he a good host!" WHAT

No really, this brings up so many questions about lagomorphs. Are they some kind of Symbiote or something?

And a previous episode confirmed Max is amphibious

Max has tumors!!!

It shocked Sam!

"Eugh! Get away fake Max!" "Do you find my warmth... alarming, Sam?"

"What do nightmares taste like, anyway?" "Pepsi"

Max wants to be author 💗

He also writes fanfiction about Flint 🤣

I'd unironically read his books.

Tina Belcher voice: Friend fiction

Max has an experimental fusion jazz band???

"He just killed a great white shark--"

Max being completely unable to describe a woman is very gay of him. Good for him.

Max's brain teleported everyone to different parts of the body.

Found Sybil in the gym/legs

The brain is broadcasting Sam's thoughts???

Sam couldn't think of a joke for the medicine balls :(

"Wow Max is looking pretty buff. Would it be too weird if I asked him to turn around?"

Sam! Stop thinking bad things about Sybil's pregnancy she can hear you you putz!

She's upset with him now

"Can you believe this guy?" "I find the entire situation to be very contrived and misogynistic." Same spore Max, same.

Sam stop being so mean omg!

"I changed Sybil, I totally get the whole parenthood thing now." "Really now?" "Tax deductions."

In Max's inventory now

Y'know, I never really thought about it as a storage house

Hit The Road reference :3

Baby roach hatched in

"Pa..papa?" "Now I am little champion, now I am!"

Max has a Maximus shrine

Sam turned into a roomba!

Aw, he named it Sam Jr 🥺

We won Sybil back through his love of Sam Jr

Found the conjoined twins

Huh, Max lost as eye. Does that mean he has a glass one, or do lagomorphs have regenerative abilities?

Pfft we have to play twister to control his arma

The brain is messing with things again

Oh, we need a roach to operate the game because of radiation

Well, let's kidnap Sal

Oh, poor Girl Stinky. She's really going through it

Aw, Sal feels bad

Sal?

Honey, are alright?

He's dying???

He's not immune to irradiation!?

Oh no, he's gone

I'm so sad 😞

Gotta pick up Sam Jr. Before I control Max

They mad Max do a magical girl pose

Ugh the narrator is back

Wait, what?

He's Max's brain??? SUPEREGO???

WHAT

"I was always ignored" Yo if my super ego was as pretentious as you I 'd ignore it too 😤

He wants to kill himself and Max???

I know Max had a self loathing complex but holy shit

The super ego is perfectly fine with destroying half the east coast what a jerk

Just noticed Sam's tie is red. Had no idea about this while drawing PI!Sam lol

We have to help Max get his memories back to use the ASTRO projector

Skunkapes has three Sam clones imprisoned

Sam had canon ocd?

Gasp Gordon???

No, it's Sammun Mak

I love him, little child tyrant

Just make him a mobile brain in a jar and let Sam and Max adopt him

Why is Grandpa here?

He isn't talking like Stinky

Too polite

Sam sees it too

He's a space gorilla

They switched brains?

Found the cloning g chamber

Let's go to Momma's first

CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME

Superball is "wracked with guilt"

"Keep it together Superball. Sam will be able to save the day. He always does."

Ok, let's go to the cloning facility

I'm still thinking about poor Sal yo

FLIIIIIINT!

He's punching space apes!

Girl Stinky really playing up the evil Mistress role

The doggleganger has a bomb on him!!!

Wait so Girl really is a mermaid??? I thought that was just her aestetic

God I love Flint

Haha we tricked Skunkape with scooby doo villain tactics

Got the robot

Her water broke... and it was pennies

Max wants to save Sybil! 😭🥺💕

Super Ego is here

Oh now he wants to save Max

The only thing here are those records

Super Ego waved goodbye

Cthulu Max is cute when he cries

Wait What?

His head is on fire!

The maimtron hit him!

He waved goodbye... and teleported away.

He exploaded!!!!

He promised he'd take Sam with him and he didn't!!!!

AAAAAAH

I thought the dead Max thing was popular angst fanon fic thingy!

We're cloning Max?

It didn't work 😭😭😭😭😭

Superball ran off crying

Oh God the credits are just Sam walking sadly what the hell

He's not even stopping to fight any crime 😢

💔💔💔

God the way he's clinging to himself

What?

The elevator???

MAAAAX

he's back???

Past Max???

He blew his Sam up???

Wait hold on I'm glad they're together again but this doesn't fix anything

There's so much trauma from this season

All the horrible things that happened during 301-304 happened in like 3 days tops, then Sam had to deal with Max being a monster for a week before watching him die!

And the new (?) Max had BLOW HIS SAM UP!!!

And they left the franchise like that for a decade????

What the hell?

I want to be happy but this shit is going to consume my brain for the next week at least what the hell

Aaaaaaah!

Like maybe they really do just brush it off but it feels unlikely

I know Max has a connection with his other selves so it'll be easier for him to adjust but certainly Sam is going to notice the discrepancies since he doesn't get the same deal

Someone told me there were multiple endings hold on

Aw, they walked off into the sunrise together

But still

AAAAAAAAH

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: oml write big bro midoriya hcs please ? 😭🥺

Big brother Izu

• You would think, Izu would be a much softer brother, and in ways you'd be right.

• But he's also fucking FERAL

• THE FIGHTS BETWEEN YALL?? DIRTY AS F U C K

• Your mom is always like yo what the fuck

• Always a mix between superb strategy and just downright dirty moves

• You two keep a tally on whos winning

• In any case, he loves you, he really does.

• You're younger, only by a year but he still had this insane amount of urge to protect you however he can

• He was jealous of you when he was a kid. You had a quirk, he didn't.

• But he never acted on that jealousy. He never paid it just mind.

• You have the same quirk as mom, just on a bigger scale.

• You could move more, lift heavier objects, and there was a greater span of energy, less limits.

• And into academy you went, following the footsteps of your feral yet shy brother

• first and foremost, you two keep very little secrets

• God youre both always oversharing

• so it KILLED him inside to keep one for all from you

• to keep all-might from you

• he told you eventually, shortly before Katsuki figured it out

• c'mon, youre izukus sibling, youre smart too

• ONE HUNDRED PERCENT tried to fight all might at one point for MULTIPLE reasons

• Tried to beat the fuck out of kacchan to

• you: *in the middle of beating allmight* THATS for locking kacchan up at the sports festival, what kind of dumb shit was that

Kacchan: haha nice

You: nah nah nah you getting these hands to tf??

Izuku: y/n n o! Use the spiders like we talked about

• It wasnt uncommon to see you two together at school. You were usually his side during his free time, not that either of you minded

• Class 1A 'little sister' vibes

• Izuku is very protective.

• he knows you can take care of yourself, he does. He knows you're MORE than capable, truly- but that doesn't stop him from worrying constantly

• Mineta said something about you once, Izu put him in the hospital

• He tries to watch your training when he can.

• He does this 1. Because the thought of you hurt makes him antsy and 2. He takes notes and reads them back so you can improve

• he trains with you a lot too

• the two of you duke shit out this way, arguments and what not.

• whoever wins the fight wins the argument, unless its something serious, in which case intellect is involved

• almost every morning, he brings you lunch (usually something kacchan made, he's trying to make some type of ammends for yalls childhood) He'll walk into your dorm building and either set it in the fridge or give it to you before the two of you head out

• he also tries to walk you to class in the morning when he can

• now, izuku is very supportive, but you two are siblings, youre going to get kn eachothers nerves

• and when this happens the insults are brutal 😭

• he's put into a shitty mood whenever yall fight

• he can deal with fighting w kacchan or his class mates, sure he doesn't like to but he can deal w them being made at him. It won't really bother him

• but fighting with you?

• he hates it

• puts him in a fuck all mood until its resolved

• izu in a bad mood is just plain scary and class A just reaps the fuckin days it happens

• this man sends you the weirdest shit i SWEAR 😭

• Talking bout some 'this tree reminds me of you that one time ma whooped your ass'

• and its just a picture of this really scrangly scrawny and bent tree

• hit him with 'that tree finna be you when I whoop your ass'

• allmight memes 😭

• UA memes 😭

• literally just jokes only yall will understand

• the s n a p s bruh

• its not super often yall snap but the shit you two send back and forth is just comedic gold

• v u l g a r jokes bruh

• planned crime fr

• he includes you in that shit you

• and you, being the gremlin you are, re MORE than happy to fuck shit up

• is definitely that brother to take you out to do things so you know how you should be treated

• he wants you to be happy and even though he can be annoying, and over protective, yall have a really great bond

• yall ride or die siblings for real

[fanfic-reading-challenge]

Hello! Idk if I'm being dumb but I need to see if I understood the challenge correctly (this is my first time!! :D)

So basically If I want to try to finish ALL the challenges I have to begin with regular mode, then hard and in the end extreme, right? And in case I wanna just complete the extreme mode I can jump right in with that?

I know these are stupid questions, but I need to be sure lol thanks ❤️

This is a ‘no question is stupid!’ zone, so your question is perfectly acceptable. ☺️

I’ll keep it simple.

You can’t ‘win’ the Extreme badge by doing only the Extreme tasks, same as with Hard Mode. You must do (all) three things for the Extreme badge:

Complete 80% of Regular Mode

Complete 90% of Hard Mode

Complete 95% of Extreme Mode

Now, if there’s a task you really don’t wish to do, take a look at the ‘Swappables’ tab and if you find something you like better, you can swap the tasks, no matter if it’s a regular, hard, or extreme mode task. :) So if there’s an easy-ish task, you can plonk it in the extreme mode tab if you really want haha.

For Hard Mode completion, you need to accomplish both of the following things (and you’ll notice a theme here…)

Complete 80% of Regular Mode

Complete 90% of Hard Mode

For Regular Mode… you guessed it:

Complete 80% of Regular Mode

For the Participant badge, you can complete anywhere from 1 task to 79% of the Regular Mode tasks.

Read at least one fic!

Hehehehe

I hope that this helps clear some things up for you, but please don’t hesitate to contact me again with any other questions or requests for help! Always happy to. 😘

P.S. The Info Pages on the blog are out of date still as I’m recovering from omicron — be safe people; thank goodness I was double vaxxed and also had my booster, otherwise my lung problems, scar tissue from whooping cough, yaaaaay, could have led me to my grave, ick — but as soon as I get some decent sleep I’ll be sure to go through it all and make sure everything matches up.

So for now, the best place to find an answer is the FAQ page on the first tab of the spreadsheet. Or just come to me and ask, and hopefully I’m awake and not coughing up a lung lol. ;)

Stay safe, stay sane, and take care of those around you! And yes, I have constantly worn my mask outdoors and indoors when out, was double vaxxed and with a booster — that just shows you how transmissible omicron is, but thankfully it’s not so terrible (unlike my previous and numerous bronchitis episodes) when you’re vaxxed. :) This isn’t meant as a preachy thing… all my friends know I overshare and just like to let people know how I’m doing. 😋 So, welcome to their world! I’ll still try to rein it in, though.

[theantagonistsbliss]

My 2020 thus far..... in terms of girls.

November 15th, 2020

I’d like to start of by summarizing the amount of girls that have been a part of my life this year and have decided to up and leave for one reason or another.

Robyn C - I was casually seeing her from work. It wasn’t anything serious, but it was fun for the time being. I assumed we were going to continue seeing each other until she had to move to Vancouver for school; that was one of the appealing parts of the “relationship” because it would have an inevitable end not because of either of us but because of physical distance being placed....that ended early because she slowly stopped talking to me and started seeing someone else without letting me know. Dope. Found that one out through my roommate who knew for weeks. Stung a bit.

Sydney P - Aaaah yes this one. I simped for this girl really hard. Definitely not worth it though. This is the girlfriend that cheated on me the previous year. We didn’t talk for 6 months after that happened. Until I was an idiot and wanted to catch up and see how she was doing . Gave her a call and chatted for a while. We started texting again. I made it clear though that I didn’t want to hangout, because when we broke up I made it public that I caught her cheating, so it would also look bad on me if we were seen together again...because it was. Eventually I caved and we hungout in person...also one unfortunate night downtown at the clubs before lockdown, a very drunk me, her, and her friend ended up at her place and did some regrettable (But mostly awesome) things. Definitely shouldn’t have, but that night is burned into my memory now. Anyways, we were friendly for some time after that, even open about other people that we potentially wanted to start seeing or dating, and it was fine temporarily. Until she started seeing this guy that sounded awful, from her perspective not just mine. I sucked it up until she was drinking with him one night near my house and sent me DIRECTLY multiple snaps of them together kissing and what not, the day after I told her that I needed to take a step back from our friendship because I still had feelings for her. Huuuuuge mistake on my part for trying to keep her around and give her another chance. I clearly thought I saw something in her that wasn’t there, and she wanted me around as a friend. Which honestly I understand, I am a GREAT friend. Most of my good friends are female because of how open I am with them and how comfortable I am talking about my feelings. She felt that too, and wanted me to stay that way. But It would have been disingenuous to myself to ignore the feelings that I still had that she clearly didn’t. And after telling her that we CAN’T be friends anymore for those reasons, she disagreed and said I was “running away from the issue”. Which I’m going to chalk up to her wishful thinking, as she would assume me swallowing those feelings would have been better? I don’t know. All I know is that she is still with this dude and I shouldn’t have anything to do with her anymore. She wasn’t THE reason, but she was definitely a solid variable for me to leave Kelowna as I felt the need to physically distance myself from that kind of one sided toxic friendship. 

Katie B - Didn’t actually date her or anything this year, but she was my friend. And in my world where I was miserable and felt the need to move back home to save money during my last year of school because of the Corona Virus Pandemic, I thought it would be comforting to have a friend that I still messaged regularly to be waiting for me when I got home. But surprise surprise, we hangout one time and it felt...off. She was seeing some guy that hit one her when we were seeing each other, but to my knowledge it still wasn’t anything serious. BUT, she eventually told me that she was intentionally distancing herself from me to respect her now BOYFRIEND...when wee months before she was still sending me pictures of her ass while they were “dating”. To some point I can respect her decision but holy fuck does that timing suck for me. Thinking that I will have a friend in this tough time of isolation where there are few people I actually want to see in my home town. Jokes on me though, #BadLuckBrian

Abby M - for clarification, I never dated this girl. Not one time. Thank God for that though. We simply just messaged each other for years, talking fairly regularly. Because we never lived in the same city for the majority of our friendship we seemed to overshare a lot and be a lot more open with each other, since it was seemingly risk free. So EVENTUALLY, since I had to move back home we got to hangout...like one time. And previously we both said we had a bit of a crush on the other. We would not hangout again for weeks, maybe months, though I have had a lot of free time, same as her seeing as she lost her job and was making mediocre money from her mediocre only fans...Not the best romantic candidate haha, whoops. Anyways, I kept asking to hangout and eventually she said “no can do, I have a boyfriend”, which would be fine...if she didn’t lead me on for months. She said things like “Well I kept calling you my best friend, I put you in the friend zone”, buuuut simultaneously would send me nudes on the regular. Strange girl, strange thing. I called her out for leading me on and how that’s not okay and she simply just said I was simping for her haha. Sorry girl, I would NOT pay for your OF. Strange “Friendship” indeed. Truthfully I do miss some of the talks that we had when I wasn’t in the same city as her. When there was no real reason for us to be anything more than pen pals to each other. I think I learned something from this one. 

Makayla M - This one is the freshest. Scene, I’m still living in Kelowna. I match with her on Tinder, she seems like a cool girl. She wants to meet up for a drink. I tell her yes but I don’t want to waste her time and that I’m moving back home for approximately 5 months. She says that is unfortunate but still wants to meet because she thinks I'm a cool guy as well, at least over text/snap. We have a drink and hangout, its great, she’s great, we really get along. Nothing happens though, no kisses or anything, we both just go home. A few days later we hangout again, this time doing the “Netflix and Chill” thing. We have sex, its great, its fun, I don’t regret it. I leave in a couple days, on the night before I leave I’m having drinks with my roommates, end up going to her house instead of finding my way home, we have sex again. Still great. She's great. I leave the next morning. We ended up talking everyday for the next 4 months. I thought to myself “damn, she might actually still be into me by the time I get back!”. Which maybe was naïve of me. A few days after I told her that I found a new place and roommate in Kelowna and can actually come back she goes...quiet...We were talking pretty much everyday before this, so it was weird that she was being a lot more quiet than usual. It was like that for about a week. I was worried, maybe something had actually happened to her? I was about to straight up ask her roommate if something had happened to her of if I was just being ghosted. After about a week of that I messaged her asking if she was okay, suggesting maybe that she started seeing someone? She didn’t respond for another 2 days, but when she did she said “Hi! Sorry, I’ve been super busy with work. And yeah I’ve kind of started seeing someone”. Which for one, she works at a liquor store, not sure how busy she could be but oh well, and second ouch my heart. She definitely didn’t owe me anything, since we only really hungout 3 times, but I absolutely developed feelings for this girl over the 4 months of us talking everyday. We would send each other lude snaps, and cute messages about how we wish the other person was within reach so we could cuddle and give each other smooches & do cute things for the other. I was in it man, I really wanted this to be a possibility when I inevitably moved back. And then, once I am only 1 month from moving back she starts seeing someone else. I am immensely disappointed. Again, we didn’t owe anything to each other, but God I was into giving her more than she deserved. All I said to her when she sent that was “oh yeah I kind of figured, well good luck with that”. That was the last thing I said to her after months of sending cute nothings to one another. Disappointing is how I would describe that potential relationship. Right now I really want to message her, and let her know how much this upsets me that I can’t message her everyday like before anymore, and I know she will say “we can still talk and be friends!” but dammit I don’t want to be her friend. I want more than that. And I will not do what a younger version of me would do; say “Yeah I’d like that” and suffer silently when said person would get the benefit of having me as a great friend while I would be struggling to keep my composure around them. I’m still not sure if I should keep her on socials. I think it is still too fresh to think clearly about it. 

[ificanthaveu]

ROMANCE REVIEW

ok so here’s me hyping up Camila for longer than anyone asked for but this album...is just so good and when she said visual I’m like yeah ok but... I SAW so many things and so many lyrics/songs reminded me of things that have happened to me and I’m like, you know what? time to overshare

TRACK 1 SHAMELESS: ok so obviously I’ve listened to this before like a million times, but when I first heard it, I was very much like... I don’t like it. and then I listened to it again and I’m like haha nevermind I was wrong (i do this all the time don’t @ me I know I suck) the way she says “shameless” with that rasp? screaming her lungs out? yeah, bitch, I feel that. I hear that. and just the whole vibe of YEAH I feel this way and WHAT ABOUT IT.

favorite lyrics: “Now that you have me, do you want me still?” “I’m tired of loving somebody that’s not mine”

TRACK 2 LIVING PROOF: Every performance of this...makes me love it more and more. The choir singing hallelujah...gave me the VISUALS bc ya girl grew up Catholic, and I couldn’t help but imagine that Easter day where everyone is praising and saying hallelujah and it’s just such a pure JOY. and with the God references and “being sent to save me” just getting major church vibes. AND her high notes in the chorus...we stan a queen with TALENT. I love how she references hands a few times because I just love when you can communicate something just through touch. I think that is truly the deepest form of knowing someone. 

favorite lyrics: “Tell me something, but say it with your hands, slow” “Show your demons, and I might show you mine, one at a time”

TRACK 3 SHOULD’VE SAID IT: ok now I’m just going to sit here with my jaw dropped open because SIS said what we’ve been saying for SO LONG. The theme of “change” is so strong in this, and I just love how she portrays it. And her talking about the songs not sounding the same...she’s literally like yeah I get you wrote songs about me, but have you heard of imessage? a phone? But this is the kind of song that I want to scream at the top of my lungs and dance to in my living room, but, alas, I cannot relate. I can’t get one person to love me, how tf would I get 2? And the way she says “so sorry” like she...is not sorry. and I LOVE IT and it just really drives the point across, like, I’ve moved on, you didn’t say anything. 

favorite lyrics: “baby, he fell from grace, landed right in your place” “I wish you could turn back time, and hold me closer, instead of your pride” (OUCH BABY YES SING IT)

TRACK 4 MY OH MY: catch me shakin my ass to this till I die. I just love the FEEL of this. and her YELLING “I swear on my life that I’ve been a good girl” and the “Tonight I don’t wanna be her” like yes bitch let her be BAD for a night baby you GO GIRL. Listen, I will never get sick of the falling for a bad boy narrative. Sign me the fuck up, every damn time. Like, yeah? I’ve been good, time to be bad bitch. and her LAUGHS during the rap. I love her wow. The chorus is just so CATCHY. It’s just sooo bad boy narrative, my parents don’t like him, not being a good girl for the night, and again, always a hoe for that. ALWAYS.

favorite lyrics: “I said, if he kissed me, I might let it happen” “She know I’m a call away, she can drop a pin and I’d come meet her” 

TRACK 5 SENORITA: I’ve talked about this 5 million times, but I’m a proud mom so here we go again! The fact that they collabed again, was enough to fuel me for years, bc my prime was during IKWYDLS. What a good era. This song makes me feel DAMN SEXY. I want every song to make me feel this way. every time they say “oh la la” just send me to my grave. and shawn’s “call” during the chorus...speechless still. I love a good friends to lovers (in song and IRL we love that for them). I just love the aspect of yeah it’s hard to leave you but every time we touch just reminds me that this is all worth it. AGAIN with the TOUCH being just the most intimate way of knowing someone. 

favorite lyrics: “her body fit right in my hands” “you say we’re just friends, but friends don’t know the taste” “cause you know it’s been a long time coming, don’t you let me fall” 

TRACK 6 LIAR: this bb was my fave when it came out with shameless. I LOVE the whole theme of I said one thing but now you’re changing my mind and making me seem like a liar. I also love the trumpets. I love a good trumpet in a song if it’s used well. AND with the whole, yeah I’m a liar, and what about it? I like clapping along to the bridge in the car. and then fuckin dancing to the chorus. peep me screaming this in my car all the gah damn time. also, the lying to yourself? the worst kind. and this song just being the RECOGNIZATION of yeah... I am lying to myself. you KNOW? like that “oh fuck” feeling, like you’ve been denying it and denying it and denying it and finally you’re just like...oh shit. and then you just fuckin GO FOR IT because you realize it now and now we’re making up for lost time. and then the final “cause my clothes are on the floor” jaw DROP first time hearing that like yes baby. and I usually skip instrumentals at the end of songs bc I usually think they’re stupid and pointless ope but THIS is the only one I don’t skip because it’s too damn catchy

favorite lyrics: “I don't care, it's been too long, It's kinda like we didn't happen” “but what if you kiss me, and what if I like it?” 

TRACK 7 BAD KIND OF BUTTERFLIES: my heart hurts, honestly. like in that first chorus where she’s like you’re going to hate me after you find this out. just BREAKS me. it’s just very stuck between a rock and a hard place. she wasn’t going to win this fight. it was going to hurt no matter what she decided. she was going to hurt someone she cared about no matter what she chose. the way she says “tonight” with that note run yes baby yes. and like living proof, I love the high note chorus. and the way she says “the bad kind of butterflies like when you have something to hide” like I FELT that shit. those kinds of butterflies are the freaking WORST when you just know you have to tell someone about something because it’s just eating you alive. her voice just perfectly portrays the feeling this song encapsulates. 

favorite lyrics: “don’t look at me while I’m breaking” “I understand if you hate me” “I know I said we were friends and when I said that, I meant it, somewhere between now and then it became more than just a friendship”

TRACK 8 EASY: out of her songs that came out before the album was released, this was my favorite. just...i get so speechless and I have no words, it’s just so beautiful. like having someone who loves you, who sees your flaws, and doesn’t freaking care. like that first verse is like “yeah we both know I got flaws but you love me anyway.” and the whole thing of really, really knowing someone and really, really loving them is just so damn heartwarming. and feeling hard to love? yeah, Camila, I GET THAT. someone find me a man who feels this way about me. and just having someone...who loves you...until you can love yourself... I want one. and again with the TOUCHING, I see a theme here baby and I’ll talk more on that later. that bridge just freaking hits me and when she sang this on SNL I could just SEE how much this song meant to her and she looked so content singing it. 

favorite lyrics: “You tell me that you'd rather fight than spend a single peaceful night with somebody else” “tell me with your hands that you’re never leaving” “All I know is you saved me and you know it” 

TRACK 9 FEEL IT TWICE: this...hurt me. because this is my worst fear. like having someone fall for you, and you don’t feel it, and then suddenly to be in love with them and for them to be like I’m sorry but I don’t feel that way anymore. and I just love that this one is a lot less of “you fucked up” like should’ve said it and more like “I hate that things had to happen this way and I don’t want to hurt you but I can’t do anything else.” it’s heart-wrenching. and just WISHING that this wasn’t the case, but it’s just how it is. because that’s how love works. you can’t force it if it isn’t there anymore or was never there at all. and keeping the distance because there’s nothing else you can do and it’s the only option because there’s just this tension no matter what you do. because it’s there no matter what. and the PARALLEL of “how can I be your friend when I know the way you taste” and “but friends don’t know the way you taste” in senorita makes me think that she was writing this song while she was writing senorita and that’s why she added it in later. but pertaining to my life... I don’t relate because I feel everything like 8 million times and I catch feelings for anyone who looks at me and I go back and forth on crushes all the time (there are like 5 coming to my head rn wow I am the worst).

favorite lyrics: “Oh, I'm scared if I look in your eyes, I might see your soul, I know love is the loneliest place when you fall alone” “Sitting by the phone, holding onto hope” “I can feel you still staring at me when I look away” “I don't know what's worse, getting broken or making it break” (it’s hard to pick favorites for this one WHOOPS) 

TRACK 10 DREAM OF YOU: I like the music in this one a LOT. I feel this shit in my SOUL. and “he’s a right answer” reminded me of the most recent episode of The Good Place (iykyk). also, I don’t know WHY but I love the line with “a confessed sinner” bc, again, ya girl grew up Catholic. he got that post confession GLOW. that “I just got everything off my chest, and I feel GREAT.” and this one, with all she’s doing all day, is dreaming of him, yeah I am a hardcore daydreamer. so that’s me hello. and the transition of “I dream of you” to “I dream with you”...take my heart and throw it at a wall. the DESPERATION in “please say you dream of me too” like PLEASE tell me this is mutual because you literally take up all my time so please tell me you feel the same way. 

favorite lyrics: “And you squeeze my hands two times, three times” “I was not living, I was just writing about it” (this is me a lot and I feel attacked)

TRACK 11 CRY FOR ME: this high key reminds me of “Dead” by Madison Beer. but anyways. it’s so SASSY and I LOVE IT. I just love the feeling of someone moving on first, and then the other person moving on, and then the first person being like oh shit what you moved on what. like just wanting someone to HURT because what the FUCK? like why do you gotta do this bro? and just the yeah I know I shouldn't feel this way but fuck it. and I love that just lie to me. like you know what, tell me you miss me, so I can feel good about this. and the screaming in “HOW CAN YOU BE OK” like BITCH I’m HURTING so CRY PLEASE

favorite lyrics: “You said that, in this lifetime, you could never get over me? Are you over me?” “see her lips erasing me” 

TRACK 12 THIS LOVE: this is one of my favorites. I love how it’s soft? but also, not soft at all. like FUCK this love. the building walls just to watch them fall? like yes, sis I just wrote a poem about this a few months ago bc it is me. like that person, you built walls up before and they just keep knocking them down. and then you regret it, every time and build them up again (s/o to my shit middle school friend yike) and just the feeling of getting pulled in this cycle over and over again. you can just HEAR the desperation in her voice in parts of this and I love when you can hear that. I also like the use of “maybe” like this love is fucking hell but maybe don’t let me go just yet but on the other hand, maybe you should. AND ending with the “here I go again” just yeah stab me in the heart. 

favorite lyrics: “Waiting for you just in case one day it doesn’t hurt” “get out of my veins” “If you need your space, then just walk away”

TRACK 13 USED TO THIS: pull out your tissues ladies. I was most excited about this one, and she PULLED THROUGH and lived up to my expectations. I’m always a sucker for the whole vibe of “I hated this place but now I have this special memory there and now I love it.” the transformation from hate to love in so many ways. to find a person who does that, it just doesn’t happen a lot. now time to unnecessarily connect it to my life but not really because ladies and gents, I fell for my best friend. he was the most amazing guy ever. and he was my best friend and suddenly it was like...oh fuck. and the line about whispering his name differently and can’t you hear it? just reminded me of him right away. because of that FEELING of seeing them and knowing you have these feelings and being like...can you hear the change in my voice? (he didn’t btw. that was sad. this song will be “what could've been” for me. lol. bye). and the “feeling” with that touching again HELLO. and the drink clinks in the background love that. friends to lovers? yeah, sign me the fuck up. and I love the use of “definitely” like that hesitation of yeah it’s going to take me a sec but I’m DEFINITELY getting used to this. 

favorite lyrics: “No, I never liked San Francisco, never thought it was nothing special till you kissed me there” “It's the strangest feeling, midnight, I'm not leaving, no, for once, I think I'll stay" “I say your name, just listen, doesn't it sound different? Never whispered it this way” “And the calluses on your fingers, I admire them from a distance, now they're on my cheek” “oh, I've known you forever, now I know you better” “let’s get carried away” (i should’ve just copied and pasted the whole song I’m in love)

TRACK 14 FIRST MAN: ok. I know I said grab your tissues. but here’s where you really need them. when I say I sobbed, I freaking MEAN IT. like I was getting ready for school this morning at 6 am while listening to the album and it was only me and my dad awake and this just hit me so hard. I’m super close with my dad, so I really really feel this. Once the song was done, I went and found him and I was still crying and he’s like WHATS WRONG and I gave him a hug and I tried to explain what it was about and he’s like yeah no won’t listen to it. going to cry. then I texted him later and he listened and you bet my father cried as hard as I did. he literally said he was in the bathroom trying to compose himself (spoiler, my scary dad is soft af but don’t tell anyone and expose him. literally the other night i said i probably cry every day and he said yeah me too). it’s so soft, and just, yes this is happening, but that doesn’t mean I’m cutting you out of my life. like this man is everything you ever wanted for me, and I know this is damn hard, but it’s going to be worth it. and the transition of spending all the time with family to spending time with this man you want a future with. and like y’all know that breaks a parent’s heart but at the same time, it’s all they want for you. and the progression of just being with that guy and then to the wedding day. and the part where he says she’ll always be his little girl. ugh, this whole song is my dad and I love it and hate it because the amount of tears I’ve cried today is unhealthy. and in general, I just love how soft this is and you can just hear the love in her voice. I’m crying again hi. s/o to the good dads out there, and if you don’t have one, you can share mine. I genuinely cannot listen to this song without crying, yet I’ve listened to it like 6 times today. this song means so much to me and I honestly want it to be my father-daughter dance at my wedding,

favorite lyrics: “And I found someone I really like, maybe for the first time” “You held me so tight, now someone else can, but you were the first man that really loved me” “Now you're driving to the airport, not just me you pick up anymore” “You're looking at me while walking down the aisle, with tears in your eyes, maybe he deserves me, You don't even know how much it means to me now”

FINAL THOUGHTS 1) I AM SO HAPPY WITH THE WHOLE ALBUM. I love all of these songs so much, and they’re all so VISUAL just like she said they were going to be. I love when you can see a song. That is just so damn powerful.

2) THE THEME OF TOUCHING. guys, I am O B S E S S E D with this. like I said before, I think it is such a RARE form of intimacy and love for someone when you can communicate something with a touch. Like that hand on the shoulder or on your back or knee or whatever. but just KNOWING what they’re saying. I love how she addressed it multiple times and you see it weaved into so many songs of that touch communication.

3) I saw this on twitter, and I think it was part of an official review or something. But the journey of “hey I’m falling in love and here are the trials and tribulations of it” and then ending with “I can feel this way because you taught me” is just...so amazing and powerful. 

COME TELL ME YOUR OPINIONS, THOUGHTS, THEORIES LETS CHAT ABOUT IT I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS

[unstablelover]

Why not! I’ll send you some asks for the fun of it (whoop whoop) Let’s do 11, 20, 42, 43, 44 and 48 :) (The cute asks post just in case you don’t see this for a while and are confused idk )

11 - what’s your lockscreen?

it’s my comfort ship! komahina!

20 - have you ever been in love?

yes, i have been! i was in a long term relationship that lasted 2 1/2 years and we lived together for 7 months! we were engaged for 4 months before he dumped me over text

unfortunately i’ve never been in a healthy relationship, i’ve been used and abused and manipulated every time i’ve dated someone, of course i wasn’t a total victim, i did things wrong too and i work hard every day to be a better person and never repeat the mistakes of my past (which is a lot more than any of my ex’s can say for themselves :) )

luckily i’m over him! i started this blog as a way to cope with him leaving me, but now i feel free and i’m taking huge strides towards healing from the abuse and i’m genuinely stable and over him now (it’s been 4 months)

sorry if this was tmi or oversharing! i have a kind of bad filter when it comes to that and i don’t really know what’s ok to share;;

42 - do you want kids?

i don’t want babies but i really want to foster teens one day!!

43 - do you want to get married?

absolutely! i have so many ideas of what it’ll be like!! i still can’t decide if i want to wear a dress or not! hopefully i’ll be way more transitioned and have gotten top surgery by the time i’m getting married so i think i’ll be able to wear a big fluffy dress!

i want the decorations and wedding favors to be baby blue and white! also i’m not sure if i actually want a huge wedding cake, i might go with a cupcake tower instead! also i want to be barefoot because i’m a little gremlin man!

44 - describe your dream girl/boy

aaa oh my gosh ok

i’m really not picky about looks at all, but ideally they’d be at least a little taller than me any maybe have more broad shoulders than me? i want to feel petite and delicate when with them

i don’t really care about gender since i’m bi but i do have a preference for transmasc individuals!

ideally they’d like anime and visual novels and writing and games and maybe they’d even cosplay with me! i also really like artists of any kind, i always just really vibe with them!

i’d want them to be possessive over me in a way that i can understand, i would also hope they’d be tolerant and understanding of my mental illnesses and be willing to educate themself on it if they don’t already know about it!

if it’s at all possible i’d like them to be very open with me about their feelings and let me know if i ever do something that makes them uncomfortable, i just would really appreciate someone who could actually tell me if i do something wrong so i can fix it!

um also maybe they would be willing to take care of themself without me having to beg them to! that would be nice

and now this stuff would be the absolute icing on the cake!

someone who loves to touch me and hold me and show me off, a person who rubs my shoulders and back, cooks me meals sometimes and oh my god,, would wash my hair 🥺

oh um also maybe they could be a top so i don’t end up being forced to do things that make me uncomfy again because i’ll do it i’ll do whatever they want but i just,, would rather not

48 - one piece of advice you live by?

to show kindness to everyone when i can! but not to feel bad when times come that i can’t be kind!

another one that i’ve been trying to teach myself is ‘don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm’ which was a quote i was taught 4 years ago at a summer camp and i never forgot it but it’s a really hard rule to follow haha

[fallxnprxnce]

Luke Goss is a snaaaaack. He's so hot and so underrated. However, is it weird that I find him more attractive as Nuada? Like, I already find him attractive, but as Nuada he looks a lot more handsome to me? Idkkkk :o Also GREAT BLOG!!! You should be a writer if you are not one already!

{out of exile} He is. He certainly is. I actually had a fan blog for him some years ago on a different account of mine, but I had to stop posting on it just because I don’t have time to maintain it anymore. It’s still up if you wanted to look at it, though. It’s @more-than-nuada​.

No, I don’t think it’s weird that you find him more attractive as Nuada. I mean, just look at this fine piece of elf flesh:

I was once in your boat, before I started watching more of his movies. Now? Honestly, I prefer his human form, heh. Years ago, I only knew him as Nuada and Jared Nomak from Blade II. But I really became interested in watching his other movies and TV shows when I realized that he brings the same emotion and depth to all his characters, whether they’re fantasy-related or not. Actually, the majority of characters he plays are criminals, cops, soldiers etc., and yet some of those are among his best roles in my opinion. Only a few are vampires, elves, aliens, etc. XD

But… maybe I can get you to change your mind? I mean… just look at what a great human he makes, though. This is my second favorite character of his (behind Nuada), Carl Lucas, of Death Race 2 and Death Race 3: Inferno:

Yeah… that pic speaks for itself. My third favorite character of his, Luther from Red Widow (who I have an rp blog for @armed-and-alxne​​):

Look at this adorable bean! And my fourth favorite character of his, Wade of The Night Crew:

Uuugh that smile. Okay I was cheating with that last one, he doesn’t stay human for the whole movie. But still, haha.

Also, thank you so much! I’m glad you are enjoying the blog! I wish I had more time to be on it and actually rp instead of just answering asks, but… well, I’ll get there eventually.

As to whether or not I’m a writer… at this point I would probably say no. I’ve written several books, some completed and some not… a series of nine books, seven of which were complete… and sooo many short stories and snip-its and things, mostly for one of three worlds I have been developing, each for well over a decade. I’ve also written a few fanfics I’m pretty proud of for the Game of Thrones, Resident Evil, and Metal Gear fandoms. But that was mostly years ago. I just don’t write like I used to anymore, and that makes me kinda sad.

Up until about two years ago, I would have said yes I’m definitely a writer, because I wrote every day, really enjoyed it, felt like I was decent at it, and write my own original books and short stories, not just rps and fanfictions (nothing against rps and fanfictions at all, I just took a lot of pride in creating fully original things as far as myself and how I felt). I actually wanted to try for a career in writing, but mostly poor reviews on two books I self-published (that were very very sub par but I didn’t realize that at the time… whoops?) made me realize that I should just keep writing as a hobby. That… and real life kicked me in the teeth.

Over the past two years, a lot of bad things have happened irl, a lot of changes have occurred, I have a lot less free time now, more stress, and a lot of things that mentally just are not very conducive to being creative or imaginative. I am working on a fanfic right now involving Nuada and the Silent Hill world, and I’m planning another (a sequel to the movie Priest [2011]), but I haven’t worked on any original books in about two years. I’m hoping that this is just a bad time in my life that’s affecting my writing, and that someday I’ll get back into the groove I was in before and had been since high school (about 20 years ago, I’m so ooold), but part of me worries that my days as a writer are over. *shrugs* I’ll just keep on keepin’ on and see where it takes me. =)

ANYhoo… now that I’ve overshared, haha… I do really appreciate your comment, though. It makes me feel good that someone would think I have the potential to be a writer, even if I don’t feel that way myself. So thank you, you cheered me up about it a little bit today. Thanks for sending this in! (^-^)/

[putris-et-mulier]

How do you view the idea of "oversharing" as it relates to disability? Like, I'm trying to make friends, but how do I address my mental illness? Do I just say "haha, funny thing, I had a nervous breakdown and basically couldn't leave my parents house for a year"? Or, "whoops, sorry, I can't go out today because my depression is so bad I literally can't get out of bed"? Instead, I just find myself lying, which just makes me look "lazy" or "flaky", all so *they* won't feel awkward or something.

I really wish I had a good answer to this but it's something I'm still working on. I grew up trying to be the right kind of cripple who never talked about being disabled and it's a horrible way to live, being closeted in any way always is. Now I do talk about my disability and it's definitely lost me friends because it makes me seem "too depressing."

Able-bodied people think you are complaining if you talk about your disability because they would rather kill themselves than deal with what you have to but it's kind of no different than people complaining about having a menstrual cycle. It sucks and no one likes having it but it's not something you go into depression over (in and of itself) and when you casually talk about it it's not the same as talking about a traumatic subject, even if you have traumatic memories about it. Like, no one ever says, "I would abort my child if I knew it was a girl because I wouldn't want to have to suffer through a menstrual cycle."

One thing I have found helpful is talking about disability, even when it's not an applicable issue. When I'm making a new friend I try to make a point of talking about my disability casually such as, "I love that TV show too, but I wish they would get disabled actors to play disabled characters." Usually everyone is uncomfortable the first few times, but if it persists after that I know they aren't friend material. If I do continue to be friends with them and I have to share something that sucks like canceling plans I respond to their disappointment with a nonchalant "this is why disability is social and not medical" or something like that so they contextualize the news in the right way.

[forwyk]

Tagged by @markleesgiggle - thank u for tagging me lad ❤️ we gotta talk more!!!

Rules: Answers these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: coke

2. Phone Call: the local chinese to order my sister her dinner

3. Text message: my friend talking to me about this thing I applied to nd helping me word my reply

4. Song you listened to: Pırlanta - Demet Akalın // HONESTLY LADS THIS IS SUCH A BOP

5. Time you cried: like,, so much this week bc I miss a big part of my family. More specifically tho, this morning nd for the same reason

6. Dated someone twice: lads I haven't even went out w someone once

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nopeee. But I have dodged a kiss nd regretted it?

8. Been cheated on: nah m8

9. Lost someone special: yup

10. Been depressed: don't think so

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: the most I've ever gotten is tipsy so nope, no throwing up

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12-14. blue, black and white (but not blue nd black together no thank u)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: new acquaintances I guess? but not really friend-friends. online though @taestyhoe​

16. Fallen out of love: nah

17. Laughed until you cried: yes omw the other day my sister chocked on her ice cream out of nowhere nd the noise was so funny 😂😂😂🙈 I laughed so much I ended up crying nd winding myself :') but seriously, I've laughed so much these past 2 weeks :'))

18. Found out someone was talking about you: boi have I omw, ngl it hurt like heck but what can u do

19. Met someone who changed you: mhm

20. Found out who your friends are: yup, it wasn't a v nice time nd I'm still not completely over it but I know who I can definitely depend on now, nd hopefully they know that they can depend on me too

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nearly

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all

23. Do you have any pets: a wee pupper

24. Do you want to change your name: not really but I also really like the spelling "Zehra" over "Zahra" so

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: had some friends over

26. What time did you wake up: around 9ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was resting, either that or watching CBB

28. Name something you can’t wait for: to see the other half of my family again

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a wee minute ago

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: my health status? Like sometimes arthritis just,, it gets in the way nd it's v annoying. I've adjusted a lot but also ?? Plus my hands alongside that just.. they make me frustrated esp when I can't do what others my age can do smh. Also mental health?? Like I wanna be more ~stable~ than I am or at least have more effective coping mechanisms I guess sorry for all this oversharing whoops

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my own nerves lmao

34. Most visited website: atm it's prolly google translate bc I've been trying to expand my Turkish vocabulary for talking to my cousins

35. Elementary: done

36. High School: done

37. College: find out soon but I don't wanna think about it

38. Haircolor: mostly brown

39. Long or short hair: sorta longish?

40. Do you have a crush on someone: kinda skdjfuejsnsnd

41. What do you like about yourself: I think I'm a good listener nd I always try to take other people feelings into consideration

42. Piercings: ears

43. Bloodtype: idk

44. Nickname: my surname

45. Relationship status: single

46. ???

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Chicago Typewriter yooooooo

49. Tattoos: not atm but I'd like a few

50. Right or left: right (handed??)

51. Surgery: I've had a few bc hands, tonsils nd arthritis lmao

52. Piercing: not fussed

53. Sport: haha

54. ???

55. Vacation: TURKEY OMW LADS I LOVE GOING THERE SM I GET TO SEE MY FAMILY ND SOME PALS ND I ALWAYS HAVE SUCH A LAUGH W MY COUSINS THE SUN CLEARS MY SKIN UP ND I LOVE THE FOOD TOO!!! IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR THE WEE PART I GO TO LIKE WHAT TH E HECK

56. Pair of trainers: converse

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing

58. Drinking: nothing

59. I’m about to: idk yet, might footer abt nd go over some Turkish or watch tonight's ep of CBB

60. ???

61. Waiting for: results determining if I get into uni or not :)

62. Want: to be able to speak Turkish nd visit my Turkish family more often

63. Get married: yes pls

64. Career: I'd love to go into music journalism

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs but I guess it depends on the situation hehe

66. Lips or eyes: lips

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older, but if they’re a wee tad younger than me idm

69. ???

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach

71. Sensitive or loud: both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: neither

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nah m8

75. Drank hard liquor: I've had p strong stuff but nah

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: prolly

77. Turned someone down: well, a guy kept trying to say nd do stuff on snapchat but it made me uncomfortable so I ended the convo nd blocked him lmao, idk if this counts???

78. Sex in the first date: no thanku

79. Broken someones heart: doubt it

80. Had your heart broken: idk, don't think so

81. Been arrested: nah

82. Cried when someone died: yup

83. Fallen for a friend: nah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: idk?

85. Miracles: lowkey

86. Love at first sight: nah, like there may be an initial attraction but I don't believe you can love someone without knowing them

87. Santa Claus: I was told on Christmas Eve lol

88. Kiss in the first date: depends on the person

89. Angels: yes

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Laura, Hope, Ruth, Jess

91. Eyecolor: brown

92. Favorite movie: I'm not really a movie person but I do enjoy a wee watch of Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

I tag @taestyhoe @taeyongfireeyes @angel-spices @bowtrckle @helzo-has-a-blog @fangirllingsince1995 @imxjaebeom @twinmoless and @sugadaddytaeyong

[changelingbaby]

Yellow and blue 💛💙

ahhhhhh yay!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much i love answering asks like this

yellow first!

if you could have any view from your bedroom window what would you choose? 

i want to preface this question by saying im not indecisive, i just like a lot of things ! so ! i’d really like to live on the beach (livin the norcal life - our beaches are freezing and the ocean is grey and fantastic) and if i got to wake up every morning to see those stormy clouds and white horses every day, i’d probably just cry all the time. but I also want to live in san francisco and have a view of a busy street every morning and night, that would be incredible. and i’d also like to live on a moor with thistle and lavender right outside my door. i think they’re super spooky but in a comfortable way and I just really want to live in one.

what’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day?

stay inside,,,, lmao i love rainy days, but on sunny days- well if it’s really hot im going swimming all day good luck talking to me i’ll be underwater, but if it’s moderate to cool (and windy!) i like having private picnics and drawing/writing/doing other such productive activities on this hill in a park by my neighborhood

what do you consider lucky? 

blue m&ms (esp. if they’re the first m&m to come out of a pack), inside out socks, buttons found on the ground, sea glass, ladybugs, and cool rocks/pebbles

what made you smile today? 

this ask!!! also i had a really fun movie night last night that was cool. + i had pancakes. and im gonna go study with my best friend later

what makes you happy?

my friends, my dog, girls, the color blue, pretty films, good characterization in any media, musicals, flowers that don’t make me sneeze - esp. daffodils, the color yellow (coincidentally my favorite colors are the two you picked!! good colors), cool jean jackets and leather jackets and patches and cool fashion in jacket (im! a! hipster!), when people do things from the heart, when people offer me help and i don’t have to ask (im too proud it’s pathetic), llamas, socks, cats, all dogs not just mine whoops, probably way too many things to write down?, art, music, turning a casual hangout with someone into something big and exciting, adventures (doesn’t matter what kind), hiking, halloween, the rain, winter and autumn, but also spring and summer when im not having allergic fits, singing, writing and reading, getting recognition for a job genuinely well done, my english teacher from last year (those last two are connected- she was super harsh and tough but she was very loving and kind and made me a much better writer... and probably a better person... and well she deserves an entire post just to herself!! i love her!!!!!!)

blue!!

what do you do when you’re sad? 

not to be emo but... i mean when im feeling Depression Sad (thanks, vitamin D3 deficiency) i stare at the wall for hours and wallow...... but when i feel Normal Sad i listen to music and vent write, that sort of thing... either way when im ready to feel better i try to clean and just. be productive. it’s probably the best thing for me haha

what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? 

clean. i clean a lot. how come my room is always messy i feel like im constantly cleaning oh my god. and again i listen to music usually death cab for cutie’s album transatlanticism because it’s just music to sleep to. sometimes i try to see if i can sneak out of my house without my mom noticing (i can’t) (and i wouldn’t anyway im a scaredy-cat)

what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? 

im bad at ranking things?? like last night was great my friend sof was over and we watched three movies and joked around a ton and made fantastic sundaes, but also homecoming was really nice (the dance itself was horrible i wanted to die but we went to in n out before and that was really fun lmao, and then after we went to our friend zoe’s house and talked for an hour and that was also really fun) and like. any night that im hanging out with my real friends and having conversations about The Important Stuff... and you know i just had one over spring break with zoe again where she and sof and i and her neighbor played hide and seek. and every night at 4H camp. and idk i also have a horrible memory so im forgetting a ton. OH when my friend sarah and i had a harry potter marathon!! that was several nights but it still counts because each night was great. and my choir’s trip to hawaii when i actually liked singing in choir for once, every night was cool there. p much all of those. + the time sarah and her sister kidnapped me to look at this house’s hella cool christmas lights

i think my best nights come from when im in a situation that i dont like but then i leave it and hang out with people who make it better (ie homecoming, the last night of the harry potter marathon - it was after our water polo team’s bonding party and the party was SUPER awkward for me,,,,,,, and then sarah and I and our freshman friend aspen came to our house and chilled. idk it was fun)

what kind of covers do you have on your bed? 

this is SUCH a weird ask. i’ve got these pottery barn kids style covers? they’ve got these very bright zigzags on them and it totally matches the rest of my room and i love them. this is probably my favorite question oh my god

who is the last person you told a secret to?

i,,,, don’t have secrets anymore,,,, i overshare all the time (can you tell from this ten-page answer) so :? idk . but instead have a funny story- i’ve got a running joke that im in love with this first tenor in my choir. he’s two years older than me and i love him because he’s a total dork and he tries to act cool but i don’t have a crush on him,, but basically everyone thinks i do. like. all of choir knows about it at this point, most of the senior class.... BESIDES HIM. everyone knows but him. it’s a good premise for a sitcom, i’d say.

thanks for asking these !!!!!!!!

[safyresky]

92 Truths

I’M SO MAD I WANTED TO BE THE DOUBLE TAGGER BUT @mellomadness BEAT ME TO IT?????? I was originally tagged by @thewayhistoryiswritten. They tagged the whole fam so now I am gonna just sneak in here and be the TRIPPLE TAGGER B)

This one is really long?? So if you’re not about people oversharing on the internet then just skip down using “J” or blacklist long post, cause that’s what I’ll tag this as :)

(I would put a read more but half the people who tagged me use mobile and those don’t show up on mobile so...my apologies!)

Anyway let’s get to it, shall we?

LAST…

[1] drink: hot chocolate. for those keeping up with my roll up the rim #struggles, 15/15 have NOT won. 

[2] phone call: Richard, my lovely bf who couldn’t remember the cereal my sister wanted

[3] text message: my sister who has no idea what food I have at home and is staying until Sunday and needs to eat

[4] song you listened to: One of the songs off the Steven Universe music playlist I have on soundcloud

[5] time you cried: Watching Moana last week it just gets me EVERY TIME the powerful I AM MOANA!!!!! I JUST YES. YES YOU ARE. YOU ARE AND I AM A WRECK

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Nope

[7] been cheated on: In a way yes but also no.

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope

[9] lost someone special: Yes.

[10] been depressed: low key all of last year? it was a struggle. and not like diagnosed depressed just...feeling sad ALL the TIME and WORTHLESS and people would tell me you’re great and I just wouldn’t believe them b/c it didn’t feel like I was great at all. I couldn’t even write about my shitty frosty children I just....couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but think about how shitty things were going and how much I wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep and forget about life

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: I have never gotten drunk to the point of throw up but hey, tomorrow is paddy’s day and my sister wants me to get “turnt” and “wasted” so we’ll see if I go over my comfortable drunk limit of 5 alcohols. Will keep you posted!

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] Blue

[13] Light blue

[14] Orange (Were you expecting more blue?? Hehe)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yes!

[16] fallen out of love: No, I’ve just made my relationship STRONGER

[17] laughed until you cried: Oh my god yes I live in a house with 3 other immature young adults who are stressed to the max you would be surprISED how often one of us laughing until we cry happens

[18] found out someone was talking about you: Not in bad ways!

[19] met someone who changed you: I don’t think so, though my current friends may have effected my humour just a tad ;)

[20] found out who your true friends are: Yeah, actually! A lot of realizations happened this year let me tell you *side eyes my shitty pal who makes things about herself constantly*

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: I mean Richard is my facebook friend so...yes? We’ve been dating for 5 years though so idk how much that counts?? Cause he’s my SO???

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them I know well enough, I don’t add total strangers

[23] do you have any pets: My cat! Cinnamon! He’s so cute and such an affectionate lil bud for being a stray a year ago like what a cat I love him s o  m u c h he’s so sILLY

[24] do you want to change your name: I love my name very much. It can be spunky (Dani), elegant (Ella), and a mix of them both (Daniella!)

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I turned 21 and...I actually can’t recall?? I think Richard and I went out to dinner and OH NOW I REMEMBER!

We went to the Works and he surprised me with all of my good friends being there and then we went home and he got me an ICE CREAM CAKE and my housemates put my gifts in a suitcase b/c we had no wrapping stuffs welcome to Student Life my guys

[26] what time did you wake up: At 7AM today b/c I had an 8:30

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was messaging Ana bean and making my bed because my sister wanted to sleep and my sheets had just finished washing

[28] name something you cannot wait for: Summer! I have a job, I’m staying in Kingston, I’M GONNA PLANT SHIT!!!! IT’S gonna be gr8!!

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: In February for reading week!

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish my parents hadn't struggled so much when I was younger, b/c then I would have had decent RESP’s and wouldn’t owe the government so much money for school Dx

[31] what are you listening to right now: The chatter of nearby people eating lunch (I forgot my headphones today I’m real upset)

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: You know, I see soo many people in one shift that one of them was probably named Tom tbh

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: FIFTEEN (15) ROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN CUPS AND NOT A SINGLE WIN. EVERYONE I KNOW HAS WON SOMETHING BUT NOT ME I AM BITTER AF THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST YEAR FOR ME FOR ROLL UP THE RIM

[34] most visited website: this blue hellhole 

[35] elementary: St Herbert down the street from home. Everyone made fun of it and called it St Hubert’s, like the chicken place?? It bugged me as a kid now I’m like lmao yeah too bad they don’t have good chicken there

[36] high school: St Joe’s near my house! Commonly known as St Joe’s Hoes b/c there was a prostitute ring in the bathrooms in the 90s apparently??? And also everyone wore their kilts really high up. Those got banned. I was bitter I loved the kilt it was very warm

[37] college: Queen’s U! 

[38] hair colour: It is Chestnut brown, according to Laurentian pencil crayons (it’s dark brown enough that my boyfriend thought it was black for the first year and a half we knew each other hahaha)

[39] long or short hair: I like it longer because then I can put it up a lot?? Though mid-length is usually my go to

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Does my boyfriend count. B/c if so then hecka yes

[41] what do you like about yourself?: My eyebrows SLAY. I like that I have managed to build up my patience so much. I like that I’m super creative and helpful and I like that I try to be as supportive as possible and usually pals are like ye u are supportive which does me a GOOD right in the heart!! I am being a HELP!!

[42] piercings: just my ears!! i’ve always wanted a nose piercing ha but I wouldn’t go through with it, my pain tolerance is exactly 0

[43] blood type: No idea!

[44] nickname: Dani

[45] relationship status: In a relationship with the most WONDERFUL FLUFF EVER Richard is really gr8 okay I could talk about him for days what a guy

[46] zodiac sign: Libra

[47] pronouns: She/her

[48] fav tv show: Steven Universe

[49] tattoos: none. if I got one it would be a shooting star somewhere inconspicuous 

[50] right or left handed: right handed! for most things. I do use my left hand for odd things, like using a fork w/ a knife

FIRST… [51] surgery: wisdom teeth when I get them out this summer

[52] piercing: My ears when I was 2 months old or so

[53] best friend: PLEASE DO NOT AS ME THIS I HAVE MANY MANY BIFFERS (Richard, AJ, Ana, Jess, Athena...)

[54] sport: skiing 

[55] vacation: Mexico when I was 7! Maybe younger, I can’t recall. 

[56] pair of trainers: I just have converse?? Do they count??

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Timbits

[58] drinking: Just finished a hot chocolate

[59] i’m about to: Finish a seminar response and then scream internally until I can go home

[60] listening to: People talking, still (there’s a lot of repeat questions here)

[61] waiting for: Class time

[62] want: A nap or two, a raise at work

[63] get married: One of these days! I keep asking Richard if we can just go to the courthouse and ELOPE but he keeps saying “yes let’s do that before we get married just go to a courthouse and wait on the big fancy ceremony until we can afford it!! He’s very set on being able to have a place for ourselves and such before hand which I agree with. But I still really wanna run to the courthouse one day and just fucking do it man)

[64] career: a writer with fame to rival that of J.K. Rowling, for instance, or the archaeologist who discovers Atlantis!

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: Hugs! I’m a really cuddly fuck but I love giving Richard kisses ALL OVER HIS FACE he gets soo happy!!

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes

[67] shorter or taller: Taller so I look cute when I attempt to be the big spoon, and so I can fit under the chin of my SO for MAXIMUM HUG

[68] older or younger: Older (irony b/c Richard is exactly 9 months older than me)

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Both? Both. Both is good.

[71] sensitive or loud: Both? Both. Both is good.

[72] hook up or relationship: Relationship b/c I am not into the sex thing that much, occasionally yes but also not with a stranger?? I don;t look at someone like “I wanna tap that” usually my thought is “They’re pretty” or “I love their jacket” or “HOW DID THEY EYELINER???? THAT GOOD???” (Like ANA’S EYELINER OMG YOU ARE A MASTER AT THE EYELINER ANA PLEASE TEACH ME UR WAYS).

The only instance of “I wanna tap that” occurs like once in a full moon or two when I stare at Richard a v long time and thing HE IS SO WONDERFUL AND LOVELY I LOVE HIM LET’S GO RIGHT NOW INTO THE BED (TMI alert my guys, haha whoops)

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, though I can be a shit disturber, ask AJ. And Ana. And my other housemates, especially Richard. I can be a nuisance and have been confirmed to be an occasional menace >:)

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Nope

[75] drank hard liquor? It depends on your definition? Sometimes I have a liqueur with my Dad but idk if it counts as hard liquor, it’s usually a Bailey’s

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? ASK AJ I CONSTANTLY CANNOT FIND MY GLASSES B/C I CAN EVER REMEMBER WHERE I LEFT THEM

[77] turned someone down: In the most passive way possible. Fun fact: I once “friend-zoned” Richard, ha

[78] sex on first date? Heck no, I gotta know a guy or gal REALLY WELL before being like YES LET US ENGAGE IN COITUS, That is something I share with someone I trust fully and completely, not random people I meet on the first date (do people actually do that??) 

[79] broken someone’s heart? Probably?? I dunno

[80] had your own heart broken? Omg yes when I was a lil pre-high schooler, dear me

[81] been arrested? HA no

[82] cried when someone died? Heck yes! real people, fictional characters...I’m a mess

[83] fallen for a friend: Every crush I have ever had began with a friendship so yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? Usually, yes!! I had a bad bout of thinking nothing would turn out right the past year but I’m back in the swing of thinking “It’ll be okay, you can do it”

[85] miracles? I think yes

[86] love at first sight? Love at first sight is a MYTH. Love takes time, patience. Love takes getting to know someone really well and knowing how you work with them and how they work with you. Love takes a lot and if love at first sight is a thing, it’s more like the IDEA of a person, not who they really really are.

[87] santa claus? For real, yes, I actually do b/c when I had lost my belief already, there was one year where my siblings (who had been naughty) weren’t on the christmas party lists at my parents work for gifts, and I was. So yeah. I have a solid belief in Santa make fun all you want idgaf 

[89] angels? Very much so. Ethereal angels and angels here I meet that have a profound impact on my life

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: I HAVE MANY but in no order, Richard, AJ, Jess, Ana, Athena... 

[91] eye colour: Brown

[92] favourite movie: Moana, Grease, Atlantis, El Dorado. Those are my top four. I think.

GOOD GRIEF THIS WAS A LONG ONE I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY AJ, YOU TOO MELLO. @divinitycas here is a third tag because yolo?? I guess??? Anyone else who likes to overshare on the internet please, be my guest!!! AND THEN TAG ME I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT OTHERS!!