#had to rewatch the first season so i could watch w her but its fine

[celticwoman]

got one of my sisters into tlovm today :-]

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 6

what an interesting season. i think what i'm most surprised about is how strikingly different this season is compared to its predecessors. maybe i only picked up on it because i knew in advance that the showrunner shifted from kripke to gamble, but i still think it's fascinating to see how much can change just be putting someone new in charge.

i don't remember how i felt about season 6 the first time i watched it, but rewatching it now it definitely feels like "the beginning of the end" to me. like it's clear that it's all downhill from here, now that the original concept and plot has run its course. i wouldn't really say it's bad, but it lacked the cohesion and direction that the original 5 seasons had.

my main critique is probably that it felt like it jumped all over the place. it felt like there were three small plots shoved into one season, rather than being one overarching plot with smaller arcs. the eve thing in particular disappoints me, since she was only around for a few episodes before she got got. it calls into question her authority and power and makes her seem like not as big a deal as they said she was. mother of all monsters? yeah, nbd. got her in one try. i would have liked to see more failures or consequences on sam and dean's part as they tried to take her down—maybe even make her the season 6 big bad and then focus on cas's bullshit in season 7. idk, i think it could have been handled a lot better, but as it stands eve doesn't really stand out to me as being a monster more threatening than, say, a vampire. hell, a vampire posed more threat to the winchesters than eve, since dean actually got turned by one and suffered the consequences of it.

(i really liked the vampire episode. they should do more like that.)

i TRULY don't understand the whole "burning demon bones" nonsense. it's set up to be some great way to gank a demon, as if they don't have a demon-killing knife AND exorcism spells. i tried to rationalize it at first as like "well this way they don't have to be near the demon" which should work for lesser demons who can't teleport—but hello? crowley can. and he does. "oh but he was in the devil's trap" then use the demon-killing knife? throw it at him. idk it just seemed like a very weird thing to introduce, and the pomp and circumstance it got really seemed overblown compared to what it actually is: another mundane option for killing demons to put in their arsenal.

i think they could have stood to put a little more foreshadowing in the early episodes of this season, too. when cas started getting shady all of a sudden it felt more like an about-face than a revelation, so i would have preferred more puzzle pieces be presented from the start.

i DO really like how they develop the soul in this season, and what their philosophy about souls is. the idea that "caring" is the primary function of the soul. like sympathy, empathy, desire, worry—all the emotions that connect you to another person, basically. that's an interesting way to play the idea of a soul, and i mostly like how it was executed. i was expecting "soullessness" to be more demonic in nature, so i like that the show makes a poignant distinction between "corrupted soul" and "no soul." my major critique here is regarding sam's lust for women, which seems extremely contradictory to the established worldbuilding. like having a sex drive independent of emotion is fine, but there are many moments in the season where sam checks out women or watches them appraisingly, which indicates some level of desire—and why would a guy with no soul care about sexual attraction? doesn't make a lot of sense. this is where i really think the writers muddied the distinction between demonic and soulless, and i couldn't help but roll my eyes every time they whipped out another one of those moments.

oh and i liked all of the crowley/bobby interactions. few and far between, but god they did a great job with it. i like their parallels (why do they have the same favorite curse. that's so unnecessarily homoerotic), and the tension between them is the exact type i like in my ships. there's a maturity and age to them which gives their interactions a nice spice and flavor, so i hope there are more moments like these in season 7 too.

overall though i think the season was pretty lackluster. it makes sense in a lot of ways since they're scrambling to find a plot after the original story finished, and it's definitely a transitional season. but i realize now that there's a very big reason why i remember so much of the first 5 seasons and so little of anything past that. but i believe that's the gist of my thoughts. season 7 is next! since i clearly don't know when to stop lmao

[porgthespacepenguin]

2.10 sneak peek mini-meta (1/2)

So I woke up this morning to a proper storm in my DMs, and after screaming myself hoarse and drinking a cup of coffee, it’s time to get to work.

And yes, there’s going to be two posts, because my life is pain.

(Huge spoilers under the cut, obviously.)

I’m sure by now, you’ve all seen the sneak peek, but if not, go watch it!

Obvious warning: this post is full-on galaxy brain speculation.

Look up, Jean-Luc

Let’s be honest, we’re all here for Qcard. So better start with that.

Q and Picard are finally, finally going to have a conversation. Long overdue, but chances are, it’ll pay off massively. In episode 2.1 Soji told us so,

“You can’t ask for trust through an interpreter. (...) True connection can only be forged when the heart has spoken.”

And this is it, isn’t it? The moment of truth.

Also, and I can’t overstate how important this is:

Jean-Luc is looking up at Q.

A long time ago, all the way back in 2.5, @celestialwarzone​ saw it coming, because she’s an absolute genius:

“(...) notice the camera angle on the latter two shots, which looks at him from underneath?

“The only way to be truly free is to love nothing. How meaningless would that be?”

Neither [Q nor Soong] can understand that. (...) But there is someone who could understand this. Someone who’s never allowed himself to love, and whenever he briefly has, it’s with “those that would only ever be temporary.”

… Someone, perchance, that is shorter than Q… who would have to look up at him.“

(She’s brilliant, what can I tell you. It’s a curse. Also, read the whole post, it’s much better in its complete form.)

This brings us back to the most important words of the whole season:

“Look up”: two words said to Jean-Luc by his beloved mother which have shaped his past and now possibly will shape his future.

We’ve known since episode 2.7 that Q is the sun. A lonely, dying star, whose exquisite light has been shining on Jean-Luc for years.

Something in Picard has always known it, although he’s always held himself back from it.

But he’s always looked up at the stars from afar. Longing to join them. And in season 1, they told us so outright.

@ellewood117​ did an excellent job rewatching season 1 for clues, and she pointed me toward this conversation between Picard and Laris in 1.3:

"Then you won't miss it? Any of it?" (...)

"I tried my best, to belong to this place. But I don't think I ever truly felt at home here."

"I supposed you always had one eye on the stars."

And then Jean-Luc gazes up at the stars with such intense longing on his face:

And now? Now Jean-Luc is looking up at his very own star.

Finally seeing where he belongs: at home in the stars, with Q.

(I’m not crying, you’re crying. Fine, we’re all crying.)

The rule of three

That face touching, though. I legit screamed.

I had been saving this tidbit for my 2.1 retrospective, but we may as well have some fun now.

Remember in 2.1 when Laris confesses her feelings for Picard?

Picard is tempted. He leans in, his fingers almost touching Laris’ face...

But he doesn’t touch her. And later in 2.2, Q reaches out in a similar fashion, but also stops shy of touching Jean-Luc’s face.

A beautiful mirror, but I’d been waiting for the final face touch. Because writers love doing things in threes. It’s a major writing and narrative technique called the rule of three,

The rule of three is a writing principle that suggests that a trio of events or characters is more humorous, satisfying, or effective than other numbers.

The first two attempts always fail, and here the pattern holds: both times, the person reaching out stops themselves before touching the other. Both times, they only reach out with one hand.

That’s because the third repetition is the most important. The one that matters, the one that saves the day, the one that fixes everything.

And so, we needed a third. I had been waiting for it, hoping for it.

Well, here we are. And of course it’s Q-card:

And this time, they are touching. And Q reached out with both hands.  

Third time’s the charm, folks.

(The mirroring was already very loud. Now it’s just screaming continuously).

A last surprise

Q tells Picard,

“I have a last surprise in store.”

Hey, remember my Trios-Qcard meta? In a truly galaxy brain moment, I wrote this:

A bar is metaphorical neutral grounds.

So, at the end of everything, somewhere neutral where they can be themselves, Q tells Picard something about himself he had never known, had never let himself know:

That Q loves him.

And here we are folks, galaxy braining our little hearts out. I never imagined that the bar would be Maman’s winter garden, but hey, I’m not complaining.

With all the Maman/Q mirroring we’ve had, and considering she killed herself there, there’s actually nowhere else that fits better.

It’s a goddamn solarium. And look, the sun is shining...

As is Q’s infinite love for Jean-Luc. His exquisite light literally shining upon them both.

(I can’t breathe.)

All right, so the Trios/Qcard mirroring is moving firmly out of galaxy brain and into realistic territory. But wait, we’ve had had two Trios scenes that heavily mirrored Qcard, actually:

One where Teresa-Picard asks Q-Rios for a fundemental, deep truth

One where Teresa-Picard desperately begs Q-Rios to stay with her

Two is nice, but three is better, so let’s bring in another aspect of the rule of three, shall we,

The first two instances build tension, and the third releases it by incorporating a twist.

The twist here may well be that we ditch the mirroring entirely and just go Qcard outright: Q telling Jean-Luc that he loves him but must leave him forever, and Picard refusing to let him go but having no choice in the matter.

Because the Q-bayashi Maru is coming.

(We’re all going to expire next week, folks.)

Three of three

So at this point, we may well find ourselves with two examples of the rule of three. Why not go full galaxy brain and rule of three the rule of three, know what I mean?

So for our third and last entry, let’s think for a second. What other romantic moment have we seen or will see soon?

Oh yeah, first kisses:

(Notice the face touching? I’m screaming.)

I don’t want to get your hopes up. Nor mine, for that matter. Even if they do take Qcard canon, we may not get a kiss until the end of season 3.

Or ever!

Still. I can’t help it. I may be galaxy braining too close to the sun here (😭), but I can’t stop thinking about it.

(Oh and if “Non, je ne regrette rien” starts playing as they kiss and/or Q dies, and Picard wakes up on the Stargazer with the song playing as in episode 2.1? I’ll kill everyone and then myself. Fair warning.)

That’s all, for now. There’ll likely be another post coming later, because we’ve been fed with this sneak peek. And I can’t wait.

Read more:

[Part 2]

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 04x14

Sex and Violence

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

Ah yes, the Siren episode where Dean has a male Siren :0 surely this is proof that he is attracted to men!?!!?

*deep sigh*

Listen, I think Dean is bisexual, I really do, however I hate when people point to this episode as proof of that because it is clearly doing something very different, and subversive in its own way. If you see him as being sexually attracted to Nick then … I mean, I guess. Whatever. Everyone has their own interpretations. But Sirens are not necessarily sexual beings, that’s what they’ve been painted as by a lot of media, but they are just supposed to lure you in with your greatest desire. What this episode tells us is that, as much as Dean likes sex, it’s not his greatest desire. Or, on another level, romantic love is not as important to him as platonic love is.

The idea this episode plays with is that the most important person in the world to you doesn’t need to be a romantic/sexual partner, which I think is GROUNDBREAKING.

It establishes early on in the episode that the siren doesn’t differentiate between different kinds of devotion. The one guy’s mom wasn’t a romantic threat to the Siren, but she was the most important person in that guy’s life, and so she became the Siren’s target.

“But Ray,” you say “the siren didn’t try to give that guy a new mother figure. It was still establishing a romantic/sexual connection with him! So why would it try to imitate the brotherly bond with Sam instead of just drawing Dean in with sex/romance?”

And the answer is: because Dean wouldn’t have responded to that. The guy who killed his mom surely loved his mom, but he probably still had a desire for romantic connection, hoping to get married and have his own family someday or something like that. I don’t think Dean has that. Sure, he wanted Cassie to understand him, and he has dreams of settling down with Lisa and Ben (and I’m not saying he has no romantic attraction to those women but you can also attribute that to amatonormativity) but at the end of the day what matters to Dean is connections that parallel his relationships with his father and his brother.

SAM You poisoned him.

MUNROE No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you, Sam, that kind of devotion? I mean, watching someone kill for you? It's the best feeling in the world.

The Siren makes it clear that what it wants from its victims is not romance or sex, it’s devotion. It wants people to kill for it. That’s what it considers “love.” It saw that Dean was more likely to kill out of a brotherly devotion rather than a romantic connection, so that was the angle it went for with him. Dean would never prioritize a romantic relationship over his brother, he just wouldn’t.

And the thing about Nick is that … he’s not a carbon copy of Sam, instead he is everything Sam has never been, accentuating the things Dean wants that Sam lacks. He bonds with Dean over cars and music, two things that Sam has never really had an interest in, and, crucially, he doesn’t push for Dean to explain himself; he easily trusts his plan, and we know Sam has always pushed to understand the why behind everything they do.

DEAN It's kinda hard to explain, but I have my reasons and they're good ones, so you're just gunna have to trust me on 'em.

MUNROE Yeah. OK. I guess.

DEAN Thank you. That's actually nice to hear.

And, especially because Dean has already been feeling distrustful toward Sam, he falls for it.

This reminds me of in 3x01 when Dean is cornered by Lust, one of the seven deadly sins, and she isn’t able to have any affect on him. Like, we all know that Dean likes sex, but when it comes down to it, when he faces monsters who literally prey on people based on their sexual desires ... it doesn’t work on him. Lust got her head dunked in holy water and the Siren had to find a work around. 

The Sam/Cara subplot is obviously supposed to be a red herring, to make us think we know who the Siren is, but is also tells us a couple of interesting things about Sam and how his attitude toward relationships has changed.

First of all, we know he’s back in contact with Ruby, but we can also assume that after 4x04 they had some sort of break-up and we don’t know what their dynamic is currently like. There is also the possibility that they’re not/never were exclusive but given how monogamous Sam is I find that hard to believe. But who knows? That being said, he doesn’t seem to have any qualms about having a one-night stand with Cara.

DEAN You gonna say goodbye to Cara?

SAM Nah, not interested.

DEAN Really? Why not?

SAM What's the point?

DEAN Well, look at you. Love 'em and leave 'em.

Remember in season 3 when Sam said that he was going to become more like Dean? Remember last episode when Sam said he needed to “grow up”?

So, what I think is going on here is that Sam thinks he’s setting aside his kinda “childish” desire for relationships to last. Obviously, this isn’t actually a childish thing to want, but our society kinda paints one-night stands as like … I don’t know a masculine and mature thing to do? And Sam feels like he needs to become this … tough, masculine, unsentimental person. (You know, go against that gentle nature of his).  (also the demon blood is affecting him.) Additionally, this ties in to the idea that building connections isn’t worth it in their life. It’s something he pushed back against in Season 1, but Sam has started to learn that making any kind of relationship last is basically impossible in their lives, and he has stopped trying.

Now, the only reason the Siren had any luck turning the brothers on each other was that there were already issues arising between them.

Dean’s issues with Sam

Dean covertly finds out that Sam has been calling Ruby and lying to him about it. He pretends to have not heard Sam’s phone call and gives him an opportunity to just tell him who he was calling, but instead Sam lies, and Dean hates being lied to.

DEAN Well, I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I was in hell. Maybe when I was staring right at you. But the Sam I knew, he's gone. … And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets.

As a type 8, betrayal is a very difficult thing for him, and he responds pretty extremely. But it’s not just the betrayal, he also feels like his little brother has fundamentally changed. And he’s … not wrong? Sam is changing, he is a very different person than the faithful, sentimental, nerd that we met in season 1. Dean is scared of those changes.

Sam’s Issues with Dean

Sam has always hated being controlled. He didn’t like being ordered around by John and now he has Dean breathing down his neck and disapproving of everything he does.

SAM So I need your say-so to make a phone call?

I do understand why Dean is angry that Sam is hiding from him that he is talking to Ruby, but also Dean has a tendency to hate the idea of Sam having a life outside of the two of them and that’s not cool. I’ll probably talk more about this later. 

SAM OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near. … You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo. … You're not standing in my way anymore.

Hey, remember in Season 3 when Dean said “you’re stronger than I am” to Sam? Remember how I said that was gonna come back later?

Obviously later in the episode Sam claims this was just the Siren talking but ... we all know this was coming from somewhere. But it’s something Sam, in his normal state, would never say. (Like, taking that dig at Dean for his guilt about Hell?? Man, that’s cold.) But on some level it’s things Sam really believes. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something Ruby had told him though … But anyway, this episode shows us that, somewhere inside Sam considers Dean a burden, and feels like he’d be more successful without him. This obviously doesn’t outweigh the love that Sam has for Dean, but especially at this point in his journey, when he’s all messed up by Ruby and Demon Blood, they’re thoughts he’s been entertaining.

W*nc*st shippers DO NOT interact

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

[mikeshanlon]

i just finished watching deadly class after u rb a gifset of marcus saying he was gonna assasinate reagan (iconic) and like... could just b me but first 5 eps were so good but then w the chester plot it went so downhill.. like what abt maria IN GENERAL.. her and sayas relationship... willie wasnt even in the last ep and petras friends r like can we kiss like let her live jc.. anyway tbh its not a surprise it got cancelled but still. it had sm potential. anyway sry for the unsolicited opinion✌

omg that gifset is what made me watch it in the first place too lmao. Honestly i think a lot of fans of the show agree that the first half of the season is better than the second. There are defintely fun moments and stuff in the last 5 eps but like. Sigh i really just hate how they handled maria and her relationships with saya and marcus..... i may be getting the eps mixed up bc i put a pause on my rewatch but ep 6 or whatever ep ended with maria trying to KILL SAYA AND MARCUS during her manic episode to ‘prove marcus cared more about saya than her’ should’ve ended with them getting maria back on her meds and her friends supporting her/marcus and her ending things bc their relationship is not healthy or at least not right at the moment/saya and maria coming back together. And thus starting a journey where maria realizes her mental health isnt her fault or wasnt Caused by chico (though he certainly did not help) but she does need to take care of it—but she has friends to support her. NOT what the episode ends with where maria and marcus have sex in the cemetery place at KD. Like. What??? There’s so many things that make me wanna scream about that. Ugh it makes me so sad that saya and maria’s friendship got ruined..... also totally agree abt willie like i cant believe his friendship with marcus just ended like that too.... chester plot a mess...... again there were fun things even if they were bonkers like i actually enjoyed the ep where marcus/saya/billy are walking the scorpio slasher around sf lmao, and the lockdown ep was fun too (of course the saya and maria thing was a mess but u kno some tension between them is fine but THEY! SHOULD’VE! MADE! UP!). as well as some other moments i liked... the first 5 eps are so much fun and great so i still love the show, and agree about the potential... also in general it’s so hard to beat two back to back great eps like the breakfast club one and the vegas ep which is arguably the best one of the whole show and such a Crazy Experience....

[meanderings0ul]

could you explain why you put s3 on second place? i'm really curious (i personally didn't really like it). but also lmao s2 is garbage

Hey nonnie.

So I’ll go through things I liked about season three first.

I loved the spies vs spies stuff with Shield and the ATCU maneuvering around each other and eventually trying to build real collaboration between them, first with Rosalind Price and then with Talbot.

I liked how they dug more into the gnarly side of suddenly getting powers with the Inhumans, cause most people aren’t actually going to handle surprise! you can light yourself on fire now! very well at all.

They really did a great job with the potential awfulness of it all with Lash, because Andrew didn’t come through terrigenesis with new powers, he came out of the husk and gradually had his personality and wants and needs replaced by another entity before it finally completely took over his body. It was creepy and tragic.

The way the experiences of Andrew, Daisy, Lincoln, Joey, and Elena were compared throughout the season really gave it a lot of depth.

I enjoyed unapologetically evil Ward and Hive much more than season two Ward.

Season three gave us some of the best Actual Field Agent Coulson content, even though it was because ‘its been a shit year and I’m at the end of my damn rope’ instead of just being on an awesome mission or something.

Introducing Mack and Daisy as field partners! An especially awesome foundation for them now that they’ve settled more into their Director and Commander roles.

We got a lot of good various team friendships content with season three.

I loved learning about May’s background and meeting her Dad. There were a lot of theories about her in season 1, and I liked what they ended up doing. We saw a lot of absolute trust and respect and a lot of familiar frustrations between her and Lian May in previous seasons. Finding out Melinda is her Dad’s sweetheart but he falls for none of her shit was an absolute delight.

Also the friendships between May and Hunter and May and Bobbi. May and Bobbi share a training background that lets them speak the same language and May and Hunter shared a profound desire to bare-fist Fuck Shit Up.

At the time I shipped coulsalind, meldrew, and Jemma/Will just as much as I enjoy the ships philinda and fitzsimmons now. The show has done a really good job of actually building those romantic relationships over time, especially for those of us who really, really did not want them to turn romantic when the show got started.

I also really enjoyed staticquake, huntingbird, and how mackelena hit it off.

Really good balance of hacker Daisy and powered fighter Daisy.

I loved how they had philinda pull together in mutual support in 3b after their emotional traumas.

The stuff I didn’t like about season three was mainly:

Rosalind’s assassination was framed badly. The actual scene was great, but they should have made more of it being an assassination of her as a security leak for Hydra. The Maveth flashback especially gave it that died just for manpain vibe. The background they’d set up for her character as an experienced deep undercover spy was cool and underused.

I would have liked more detail on how the two Shield’s integrated, though I do think the time jump did the show a huge favor. (Who tf was running the Cocoon? Where did it come from? Where did it go? Personal headcanon is Weaver was managing it.)

At the time I thought some of the Watchdogs stuff was just handled weird, but we ended up revisiting it in season four.

They made me cry like, three times.

I liked season 2a. I thought the idea of an alien biological imperative trying to take over when added to another species was really cool. Season 2 is so low on my list partly because I cannot stand how the W*rd and K*ra storyline was framed so I skip about three or four episodes worth of time when I rewatch that season so I don’t think it’s fair to put the season higher, and partly because I didn’t like the pacing of 2b at all. The two shields storyline could have been really cool, but it felt like an exponential growth curve watching it. With the benefit of hindsight, part of that is definitely Big Marvel’s fault expecting the show to work around Ultron. We should have had more time with the reveals surrounding Cal and Jiaying. I also didn’t care for how the Fitzsimmons relationship was handled in most of season 2, though I liked their individual storylines just fine.

I’ve seen a lot of different reasons why people didn’t like season three. Some didn’t like the pacing with that many main characters. Some didn’t like the spies vs spies side of it after we’d already moved towards a more scifi vibe in season 2. Some didn’t like how Hive was adapted from the comics or were unfamiliar/uninterested in the comics and saw the Hive storyline as an excuse for more Ward and Hydra. Season three was also the first big departure from following along with Big Marvel and some took that as a failing of the show instead of company drama between Big Marvel and TV Marvel, though a lot of those people don’t watch anymore.

But honestly, fandom-wise season three is buried in shipping drama and I’m really grateful I ended up watching it years later by myself so I could just enjoy it for the stories it told in peace.

[meggannn]

(based on your previous ask) do you mind if I ask how you feel about lok? is there a general consensus if it's good or bad? youre really insightful and just wanted to know if there were any major issues you had with it

yeah sure, i’ll do my best. if you want a quick answer to your question, here is a link to some of my other korra posts where i say pretty much the same thing as i do here, just in fewer words. cause this post will be mostly an unhappy summary of my experience watching the show. this post will contain spoilers, and disclaimer, i am a really biased, disappointed asshole, so i’ll just admit that now. 

short answer: i liked the concept of lok more than the product we got. a lot of that is because you had a physically buff brown wlw protagonist written mostly by cishet white men and, as you can imagine, it wasn’t handled great. when i think of lok now i tend to fluctuate between bittersweet nostalgia and quiet, simmering rage.

if you don’t care about the show summary, skip at the middle paragraph break down to my tldr.

so for those who don’t know, LOK was really my first “big” fandom on tumblr. when it was announced, a bunch of ATLA purists were already hating on it because 1) brown woman, 2) it was unrealistic to go from ATLA’s technology to streampunk in 70 years, and 3) it wasn’t ATLA, basically. it was my first big interest that i got to participate in as it was airing, and i was really excited about it. i defended it, i wrote meta, i liveblogged, i wrote tons of fic and spammed theories/wants before the damn show even had a release date. all that is to say, i was Invested, and i believed in it before i even saw it. people called me a bnf, i’m not sure if that’s true, but i did gain a lot my followers in my first few years on tumblr by posting korra stuff. a lot of them – hello – i think are still around today (i’m not certain how all the video games hasn’t scared them off yet)

i should say at this point that my opinion of LOK the show has been really wrapped up in the ugly stain left by the fanbase. korra the character has been the subject of tons of racist, misogynistic criticism since the moment we saw her back; when she showed up on screen as a proud young woman who fought with authority and stood up for herself, that was the nail in the coffin for her reputation. i agreed that she had a bit of growing up to do, because ATLA/LOK have always been stories about coming of age and maturing, but i disagreed strongly with this notion that she deserved to be “humbled,” which is what a lot of fans were looking for.

the overall consensus on if it’s “good” depends on who you ask. most people agree that ATLA is better overall: it was better plotted because it benefited from more writers in the room and more episodes to flesh out the world. opinions on LOK specifically range based a lot on their opinions of the K/orra/sami pairing, if they were involved in or what side they were on in any of the fandom wank, and also just complete random chance.

i’ll go more in depth into my ‘history’ with the show below, but i just wanted to mention that all the while the show was airing, korra was being hit with waves of criticism by so-called fans for basically being a confident brown woman who were calling for her to learn her place, respect her elders, etc. another common theme was fandom’s brilliant fucking idea that asami, a light-skinned feminine non-bending woman who was more polite and reserved than korra, would’ve made a better avatar. because you know why. (korra was often described as brutal, rough, unsophisticated, next to pretty, perfect asami. and asami is a fine character, to be clear, but that’s what she was – fine. nothing really stands out about her, which is a fault of the writing, because she had a lot of potential too.) so anyway all of this did sour my mood toward engaging with other fans outside my friend circle.

–

it was around maybe the middle of book 1 that i realized the writing for the show was simpler than what i was expecting – not that it was childish, which it was (because it was written for children, i understood that), but i felt like the plot meandered and the twists came out of nowhere. it felt like they were making it up as they were going, and it opened threads it didn’t answer. one of the biggest threads was the equalist revolution, which was a very sensitive topic that got jettisoned when the leader was revealed to be a fraud, and that devalued the entire movement in an instant. really disappointing, because i was looking forward to seeing that addressed. for a lot of people, this was a dealbreaker, and they started walking. i stuck with it, but loosely.

book 2 aired, focusing on the spiritual world and some really cool history. it still suffered a lot from awkward b-plots and loose threads it didn’t know how to tackle. korra lost her memory and then regained it 2 episodes later with no consequences, mako flip-flopped between korra and asami because bryke don’t know how to write teenage romances without making it a love triangle, and at some point bolin kissed a girl against her will and they didnt acknowledge that at all? i honestly don’t remember. anyway at the end of book 2, even though korra saves the day and prevents the world from descending into darkness for ten thousand years, due to events beyond her control, korra loses the spiritual connection that ties her to all of the previous avatars – aang, roku, kyoshi, wan, everyone. and people hit the fucking ceiling. “korra’s not a real avatar if she lost her connection to the old ones! that’s the entire point of the cycle! this show is bullshit, it’s not canon anymore!” (the entire point that finale demonstrated that korra’s power alone was enough to save the world and she didn’t need anyone else. but people found that ~unrealistic~ i guess). as you can imagine, being a fan of LOK is starting to get a little tiring by now.

books 3-4 is where the korra haters got to love the show again, because they were both straight-up torture porn. after everything she did saving the world, this is the arc where korra got beat down, tortured, dragged into the dirt, swallowed and spat back out. book 3 is a lot of people’s favorites because it was the first book that felt fully plotted out before it was put on air, which is why i enjoyed it too. but for me it was difficult to see a girl, whose identity revolved around being the avatar after being raised and sheltered to think it was all she was good for, effectively abandon her life and even her name by the beginning of book 4 because the events of book 3 were that traumatizing for her. somehow this was character development. we were encouraged to stick with it because we hoped korra would find herself again. and she did, sorta.

but it makes me furious that people who had quit in books 1-2 came back during 3 because they heard these books were better – aka book 3, the book that featured korra the least, and books 3-4 in which korra got her ass handed to her in some of the hardest fights vs some of the cruelest villains of the series. (nevermind that the book 3 villains suffer from the anime villain curse: they quickly went from “cool character design” to “wait, how does this rando group of villains show up with powers literally no one in the universe has ever heard before?” – questions no one ever answers)

anyway book 4 is a mish-mash of… i’m not sure. i’ve rewatched all the books but i don’t know if i’ll ever touch this one again. the culturally appropriating airbender wannabe, zaheer (a complete rando who somehow masters airbending enough to fly, which was a huge middle finger to airbending masters aang and tenzin for no reason) a guy who literally tortured korra one season before and put her in a wheelchair, is the one who the writers send korra to for her spiritual awakening that lets her save the day. not tenzin or jinora, her spiritual teachers with whom she has positive, healthy relationships – they send her back to her abuser who terrifies and degrades her a bit more before deciding to help. this was a pattern: the writers made both korra and asami face their abusers (in asami’s case, her father) for catharsis instead of gaining peace over their trauma another, healthier way because…. i’m not sure why. there is no reason why. and then there’s the guilt tripping nonsense of asami feeling as if she had to forgive her father, who tried to kill her, because he said he was sorry and sacrificed himself for her in the finale. it’s angst galore, if you like that kind of thing, which i normally do, except this is less angst and more just the writers trying to hammer in torture porn, grimdark, and poor attempts at morally gray nonsense into their finale season.

anyway at the end of her journey, korra, our buff brown woc, learns that she had to suffer to learn how to be compassionate and relate to her enemy. i’m not exaggerating, she literally says that. which is lovely.

–

tldr: i wasted a lot of emotional time and energy into this show and was extremely disappointed when some of the ending’s notes were “you had to suffer to become a better person” and “forgive your abusers/villains because aren’t we all the same in the end?”

but also on a strictly narrative level, LOK also bit off way more than it could chew both emotionally and thematically. it had an amazing premise, but it was not committed to

utilizing the steampunk genre to its best potential in the bending world (after the creativity in the rest of the worldbuilding, the LOK series finale was literally fighting a giant robot – seriously?)

giving its hero the respect and character arc she deserved. and i don’t say that because i think korra had no growing up to do in b1, she did, but she didn’t deserve for it to happen like that.

so basically i realized that a lot of the writers that made ATLA great weren’t brought back for LOK, and it showed. i realized that the LOK writers, when they listened to fans, were listening to the fans that whined the loudest, or (more likely, since they plan seasons years before we see them) they thought from the beginning that it was a good idea for korra to go through years’ worth of pain just to be spat out a humbler, “better” person

the reason i told you all that about me defending LOK in the beginning is because i need you to understand that i believed in LOK longer than i probably should’ve. i wanted it to be everything i was expecting in a diverse children’s show with an unorthodox female protaganist. but just because they had a brown wlw heroine doesn’t mean that they deserved to be praised for it when they treated her like garbage.

and korra and asami walk into a beam of light together in the last second of the show and i’m supposed to applaud the writers for their bravery or something

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#2)

\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.

-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.

-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!

-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.

-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.

-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.

-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was

-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’

-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon

-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.

-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn

-reese. god i missed you so much.

-they counted again. love that.

-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’

- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.

-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)

-i’m in love with her.

-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.

-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS

-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.

-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)

-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.

-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).

-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.

-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)

-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.

-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???

-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)

-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)

-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.

-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)

-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)

-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?

-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god

-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.

-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.

-waiting for charles to keel over and die like

-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill

-lmao stoll wow 

-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.

-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.

-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill

-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)

-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol

-counting

- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn

- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.

-GUYSSS

-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING

-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.

-ITS FUCKING

-oh my god

-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit

-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS

- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT

--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.

-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn

-H E R P O W E R

-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.

- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE

-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)

-deep breaths

-she’s so pretty oh my god

-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.

-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)

-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket

-GOD IM FUCKING GAY

-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.

-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)

-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR

- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.

-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)

-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.

-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???

-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.

-i love her.

-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)

-god jack kelloggs such an asshole

-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves

-there are a lot of things I could complain about.

-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing

-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best

-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.

-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.

-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)

-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.

-oh hey guys! ava’s back!

-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.

-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])

-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)

-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?

-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...

-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.

-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings

-noah’s a sweetie

-oh hey look it’s ava

-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)

-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)

-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)

-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)

-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.

-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])

-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)

-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking

-jack bro stop

-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know

-lmao stoll

-sarah... makes me smile.

-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.

-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.

-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!

-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)

-when is this guy gonna get shot already

-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)

-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)

-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot

-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)

-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)

-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.

-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!

-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.

- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL

-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it

-I------ HOLY SHIT?

-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???

-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???

- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.

-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT

-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.

-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD

-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.

-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.

-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)

- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)

-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care

-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl

-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting

-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS

-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god

-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)

-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM

-sarah and noah stay adorable

-aww stolllll, my heart

-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’

-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!

-charles looks high as balls

-the queen returns. she’s back

-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF

-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right?  we all remember that?

-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?

-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”

-...

- I-

-hahahah this is not okay.

-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.

-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.

-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.

-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.

- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.

-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on

Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?

Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.

Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.

The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.

Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.

First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right.  His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.

It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.

if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.

Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.

A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.

Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?

I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.

So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?

in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.

This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.

Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.

okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho

next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading

-

read the next parts:

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[spookygondolier]

Okay so I made it through Doctor Who season 11 and... realized why I took a break halfway through to rewatch Peter Capaldi. I’m just gonna spew out some of my thoughts (under a cut because I got a little rambly at 2:30am last night)

Overall I’ve found Chibnall disappointing so far, which is a bummer because I really enjoyed Broadchurch and I had high hopes when he was first announced as the new showrunner. The shows are very tonally different, though, so maybe that’s part of it? I feel like the pacing often seems slow and I feel like he’s trying maybe a bit too hard to make it different from previous seasons. 

Like for example, there was not a single appearance by an old monster/enemy, which I had mixed feelings about- I don’t like when it feels like they’re over-relying on bringing back the usual suspects but, like, not a single Dalek or Cyberman or w/e, not even in the finale? (Which, since it was only one part and didn’t really feel much larger-scale than the episode before, I didn’t actually realize was the season finale til it was over). I’m curious to see what he does with returning villains in season 12, though I was disappointed when I read something about the soundtrack that mentioned they’re not re-using old musical themes for the Cybermen or anything.

It also felt like there were fewer references than usual to, like, any point in the Doctor’s past. Again, I find it a bit annoying if it feels like they’re just trying to keep up a constant stream of clever references, but I do appreciate a clever reference once in a while. For example in “It Takes You Away” it’s like okay so you’re in this Norwegian cottage trying to find the blind girl’s father and after going through a spooky liminal cave space you end up trapped in a mirror/copy version of the world and you’re like ‘hm, who could create such a place?’ Like idk Doctor, what about the spooky monks from last season who created multiple copies of the world, and you could visit different locations by traversing a weird liminal space and going through an open portal-door, during a period of time when you yourself were also blind? Like we’re not going to even vaguely acknowledge the parallels here? Okay 

I do appreciate Jodie Whittaker though and I feel like she’s doing the best she can with what she’s got. Her version of the Doctor has a fun bouncy energy that reminds me of David Tennant and Matt Smith, her experimenting with slang is adorable, and her outfit is fantastic. She has a very cool sonic screwdriver as well. I do feel like the way she’s written feels less... idk how to describe it but like less confident or less in charge, more of a team player than a leader. Which is fine! It’s a change from most Doctors’ overconfidence (or just straight-up arrogance depending on the Doctor), but seems like kind of a weird change to make specifically for the first female Doctor

I like the idea of the companions, it’d be nice if there weren’t so many of them so they actually had time to develop deeper personalities. I do generally prefer platonic Doctor-companion relationships so it’s nice to see more of that

Overall it just feels...a little bland? Like they’re playing it safe. I think it’s hilarious (and worrying) that apparently people have been accusing the show of trying to push a “leftist agenda” or whatever when actually the show tries to touch on social issues but often does it in like the most milquetoast way possible- ‘hm I suppose Space Amazon might have some flaws, but it’s not actually the system’s fault. At least the workers are getting some paid vacation now!’ Like even Moffat’s writing had more teeth then that. 

Another example: the Rosa Parks episode was good in theory but, watching it as a white person, I felt like it was trying to tiptoe around the more painful parts of racism to protect my White Feelings. It felt, again, like a sort of overly careful attempt to confront racism by focusing on a pretty well-known and non-controversial topic (the Montgomery bus boycott) and I didn’t feel like it really had much to say to make me challenge my own preconceptions or internalized racism. It’s really good that they made a specifically anti-racist episode (co-written by the show’s first POC writer- which, seriously, did it really take this long for that to happen?? yikes), but I still came away feeling like the writing was trying to congratulate me for being a progressive modern person who can acknowledge that blatant displays of racism are, in fact, bad. I also sort of felt like the usual sci-fi/historical adventure feel got pushed to the side in favor of making an Issue Episode about the American Civil Rights Movement, but in a way that felt like something I would’ve watched in 8th grade US History, which is probably why some people are whining that the show is trying to beat them over the head with a political agenda. I personally think it would’ve been more interesting if they’d chosen to focus instead on, say, the Black Panthers or the civil rights movement in Britain. 

Anyway I’ve heard that season 12 gets a bit better, so I’m gonna try not to be too cynical going in. I’m curious to see what they do with the new version of the Master and I guess I’ll wait and see if the companions ever get more character development haha. I know some people are all up in arms about the Timeless Child thing (which I know...vaguely what it’s about) but I feel like Doctor Who has always played pretty fast and loose with its own canon so I’m waiting to see if they handle it in a way that makes sense or if it ends up feeling weird and contrived