#haha yes totally not one single bad thing away from yet another mental breakdown
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my life would’ve been fixed if any educator or caretaker in my early childhood just looked at my behaviour and went hmm maybe this child should get tested for something
#maybe i would’ve have self sabotaged myself so much#help like just looking back at my limited memories#it’s so obvious that i either have autism or add or like something#the fact that no one even thought maybe a speech therapist#like i was non verbal as fuck??? and it still continues to affect me so bad#and also so many many other things#my mom recently said im glad you got out of all those phases in your life and you’re normal now#haha yes definitely didn’t purposely shield myself so much the past year to make sure i don’t get into any situation#where i wouldn’t be strong enough to keep my mask on#haha yes totally not one single bad thing away from yet another mental breakdown#cw mental health#god me from the ages 3 to 18 was so fucked up from constantly being told there’s something wrong with me#yet everyone put the responsibility of becoming /normal/ on me#as if it was soemthing that i was just too lazy to fix#and everytime i tried to say something i was invalidated#or they would literally just validate me just to get me to stop my breakdown and return to essentially bullying me the next day#okay yeah fuck off#worst part is my parents are well off enough to actually have gotten me properly checked out#and are still are to give me or loan me money to get help now#but they refuse#my dad especially keeps saying it’s all in my head#okay anyways hope no one read any of this#bye
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