#havent had a good tumblr drama moment in a while

[memecatwings]

stay out of the funhouse if youre afraid of the clown show etc etc

[mobtism]

thinking abt my ocd again... smth i am rlly proud of myself for is keeping this tumblr account for so long without moving... ive had it for i think two years now? and that is a really huge deal for me.

d.nt r/b... mutuals i implore you to read on

i struggled heavily with mental/emotional contamination growing up. i never necessarily knew it was a thing, never had the words for it. but i very often found myself feeling Wrong over things that realistically had nothing actually wrong with them.

if i had drama between a friend and me, i needed to move accounts because it was unbearable. the bad experience i had while on the account made me feel disgusting. the account was now contaminated with a horrible memory. and the feeling only festered until i moved accounts and gave myself a clean, blank slate, untouched by the icky experience.

this intense feeling of contamination wasnt only triggered by dramatically bad events. there were times i would need to move accounts because it felt like it was contaminated by an old interest i no longer liked. there were times it felt like the "memory bank" on that account was full - that i experienced and spent "too much" time on that account, and i no longer had room for new memories. sometimes i simply felt the need to move because it felt like my life was improving, and i wanted to put sadder times behind me and start anew. there were even times where nothing happened, but i still felt the need to move.

like a horrible itch you cant scratch, itd sit in my mind and make me feel highly anxious, uncomfortable, and wrong. and there is this intense stress and fear that, if i were to keep that contaminated thing in my life any longer, i would become contaminated too. these feelings would fester endlessly, until i'd finally move accounts. and then that overwhelming, devastating, nagging feeling would disappear almost immediately. i'd finally have a sense of clarity, like i could finally breathe freely again.

its damaging. its debilitating. this intense feeling of dread and fear. this inherent Wrongness. it takes control over me, it becomes my most present thought, and it is extremely stressful to deal with. and it can not be shaken off easily. my brain tells me that it has to be dealt with in the Exact Right Way - otherwise, the awful feeling and the thoughts will not go away, and it will worsen with every passing moment. its something i have to fight against constantly. ocd is a constant battle against yourself, against your own brain and what it tells you. and hopefully, hopefully, you'll eventually win against it... but only enough for it to then manifest in some other way. this process never stops. it is a constant cycle of this, present in so many different ways, tons of them, always, all at once. and all you can do is just keep fighting at every chance you get.

i still struggle with mental/emotional contamination, it still manifests in other ways. i am still ocd.

but with this? i have made progress. ive had this account for two whole years... and i am culminating memories, both good and bad on here, and im staying put. there have been so many times over the last 2years where ive wanted to delete my account and start all over again, erase every memory i could - good and bad. but i havent. and im still here, on this account, after two whole years. and that is something i am so proud of myself for.

[curlytemple]

alrighty @scottspack here i am to show my ass 

top 10 ships tag! these aren’t “in order” but #1 is #1 

1. cory and topanga! (boy meets world) my very first thought when given this prompt, theyre the blueprint! they are just BABIEs when they meet and they already Know each other. i will not pretend that topanga didnt shape me into the kind of girl who wouldnt change one thing about herself for a boy, keep your legs hairy and your convictions strong! the way they grow together is enough to make me hate god for not giving ME a cory matthews. high school ski trip infidelity aside, theyre the first couple that made me think i could find a man. i was wrong but its nice to think about. 

2. kim possible and ron stoppable... the way the entire series is about kim being a wildly competent type A cheerleader AND teenage vigilante super spy and ron is her chilled out lame best friend who is Always there to help her save the day... please take a moment to listen to the jesse mccartney song why don’t you kiss her? that plays during the romantic climax of the kim possible movie, perfectly capturing the intense fear that comes with thinking about maybe finally kissing your best friend from preschool at your junior prom. 

3. tami and coach eric taylor (friday night lights) ...come on, y’all!!!! genuinely the most real relationship i have ever seen on screen. i don’t even know what to say other than that they are REAL. coach and tami are such a good couple that it doesn’t make any sense to me that their kid would have such a massive stick up her ass. i even tried an ‘empathize with julie’ rewatch, and while a lot of her teen angst is understandable and even relatable, she still seems so disconnected from her parents/dillon at the end of the show in a very unsatisfying way! coach and tami are the heart of fnl. and tim riggins.

4. belly conklin and conrad fisher (the summer i turned pretty trilogy by jenny han) bro.... when your mother’s dying wish is for you to care for your little brother, so when he has a little crush on the girl you are In Love With you bury your feelings and go to college far away because nothing is more important than their happiness, and they could be happy together! and years go by and theyre going to get married and youre set on being Happy For Them until you find out how much your brother has actually done to break her heart and her trust and then the thought of her settling for him is even more devastating than your true desire for her to settle for you.... WHEW! when you’ve been busy coming of age and trying to make it work with your best friend that isnt really right for you and then you find out his brother who you’ve been in love with your whole life turned into a distant asshole because the most important person in yalls lives taught him to be selfless and he over-corrected in his grief... BOY!! this one makes me feel like my heart is in my stomach.

5. SENSE8! can i just say all of it? everything and everyone? if you are bisexual and havent watched sense8 yet, this one is for us, baby! the ship is an interconnected web of LOVE AND TRUST. the pairings are endless. if i HAD to choose my fav, wolfgang and kala (and rajan <3) and i cant explain why i would pick them over anyone else, thats just what my pussy told me. but frankly i shouldnt have to choose, THEY ALL SHARE ONE CONSCIOUSNESS! ONE LOVE! 

6. david and patrick (schitt’s creek) you know the way we all feel like we aren’t enough and we’re Way Too Much.. dan levy really said hey guys? no offense but i think we might be capable of loving and even maybe Being Loved. the way patrick is all in on david rose from the moment he meets him, before he can even consider what that means about himself... the way they push each other out of their comfort zones and only get more comfortable with themselves and each other..  the way david’s abstract monochrome wardrobe fills with HEARTS AND RAINBOWS !!!!!! again, where’s my man? ANYWAYS, 

7. todd and rory (straight up) anna said this post is for romantic ships only and so I CAN AND WILL INCLUDE THEM. i don’t want to give any spoilers because i dont think tumblr has seen this yet, but when i say this is THE romcom of the year, perhaps of my life, trust!! todd is a gay man with a sex aversion who decides to try to date women and rory is the brilliant woman he actually falls in love with. sometimes soulmates dont fuck!!! maybe there are no rules to a good relationship besides mutual respect, understanding, and the undeniable desire to Be Together. i rest my case! 

8. drew barrymore and adam sandler  is this valid? again i dont know or care. i grew up on adam sandler movies and drew barrymore makes him better every time. they’ve only done 3 movies together, one of which i have not and will not see (2014 is just too cursed to return to) but even tho these two have never been a couple in real life their chemistry is so palpable that they consider each other the person they will grow old with on screen. if that’s not hollywood romance, i dont know what is! sorry to timothy olyphant but even drew says adam is The One. 

9. stef and lena adams-foster (the fosters) MOM AND MOMMA! listen, abc family shows are insane, but stef and lena make the drama worthwhile. their house full of teens is not perfect or easy, but never have i ever seen lesbian moms at the center of any media, let alone ones who thrive like they do when they communicate, support each other, and lead with love. this is a couple who chooses each other and their babies over and over again. its about putting in the work, having the tough conversations, and making the hard decisions because you care!!!!! 

10.  I DONT KNOW HOW TO END THIS, I LOVE LOVE! michael and alex! marshall and lily! steve and nancy AND jonathan! lizzie mcguire and gordo! rachel and griffin mcelroy! nick and jess! schmidt and cece! fleabag and the priest! amy pond and rory! river song and the doctor! ROSE and the doctor! MY MOM AND DAD!!!! mickey and ian! han and leia! johnny and gheorghe! princess bubblegum and marceline the vampire queen! jackie and kelso! jackie and HYDE! donna and eric! kitty and red! richie and eddie! jake and amy! brittany and santana! tim and tyra! JACK AND ENNIS! dj and steve! uncle jesse and aunt becky! aziraphale and crowley! bob and linda belcher! LARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[recordmcqueen]

when ppl ask me why im anxious

sorry i just have a lot going on n i kinda need to vent 

uhh trigger warning for a bunch of stuff? dont bother reading but if u are gonna click then just beware

this education system freaking sucks theres like 13h till school is supposed to start but i havent heard a peep from either of my teachers so uhhhh lmao what the heck wHAT IS GOING ON SOMEONE TELL ME SOMETHING PLS HHHHHH

ive been swinging between feeling bitter and spiteful and just plain sad cause heck i cant stop feeling lonely like ive basically limited myself to tumblr to avoid certain toxic individuals but even here its just so dead n lonely and i feel awful for underappreciating the people who are here for me on this hecksite but god a hyperfixation is a hyperfixation and ngl im kinda miserable :’)) not to be “not like other X” but fr theres a thousand ways i fail to relate from timezones to socmed platforms to talents and just hhhhhh yeah ive had way too much drama and bad experiences and i kinda wanna move but i also feel guilty again for underappreciating the ppl who Do support me and im just perpetually torn between wanting to feel accepted and wanting to just break away from All of Them and hhhhhh it just plagues my mind and wont go away :’))

the weight loss is so confusing and stressful cause i just end up feeling bloated and everything feels out of proportion and im so tiredddd all the time and just hhhh i want my body to look normal and my clothes to fit the way they used to :’))

university applications are coming up real soon and idfk what im doing like ye im pre sure im going into psych but god is it even worth it?? and then whereeeee do i apply like hhhhhhhhhh

cause like my dad is anxious as i am abt where to work hes got a job in bc which he loves but he just got an offer in ontario which is like TORONTO!!! but like uni there is so expensive and he really does like his bc job but the perks of being based in ontario like also cause all the social life is there?? hhhhhhhhh and hes constantly debating it and asking for our advice and man u know im indecisive hhhhhh

im always irritable and annoyed and ive been sleep-deprived for this past week and gosh look at school tomorrow :’))) it just gets so overwhelming ahahahaha

not to mention the depressive episode i had a few weeks ago we went to the doctor n talked abt it n the lab results should be in soon but oh gosh those episodes mess me up so bad like my train of thought is effed up and this time was even worse than the first cause this time i was at home and had access to a blade so ofc i just went for it but what iff next time (is there even gonna be a next time?? like i thought it was a one time thing but then it happened again and im???) and im scared ill be in an even riskier position hhhhhh i dont Want to hurt myself but,,,i also kinda wanna do?

i keep having thoughts of not deserving life and just how my presence isnt worth much to other ppl and how i end up hurting the ppl who Do care and just being hurt over and over but gaslit every time so ofc i end up feeling like every bad thing that happens to me is inherently my fault and god im so tired im so tired of having to reach out every time in attempts to communicate and make rationality of whatever mess my headspace is hhhh and im not a good enough student or friend or fan or Anything at least ill be good dead???

im not actively trying to hurt myself most of the time but its just that lingering feeling of wanting to go to sleep and not wake up and every moment of happiness is so Fleeting and dont get me wrong im doing Better but Better is still Bad so :’))))

on top of that i feel god awful for neglecting people who care abt me all while continuing to complain about being lonely lotus i am so sorry i barely check whatsapp idk why i just dont have the energy but you deserve better than that :’))

and ofc being surrounded by hypocrisy gets real draining so ahahahahahaha

therapy is $$$ but venting to tumblr under a readmore?? free real estate binches

[kinktae]

hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

[spelviin]

endgame thoughts, not because i think i have anything valuable to say abt it, more just bc i want to get my initial unsullied opinions out before various overly nitpicky or overly praisy internet thinkpieces come around

okay so. first of all, i’m tired to death of the way folks talk about the mcu. like, it’s either a godly feat of everything and the most important thing ever or the literal devil incarnate and the source of all evil in this world. i am literally so fucking bored of both these perspectives and have zero time for either of them. 

yes, the mcu is emblematic of a lot of problems in the current state of the film medium as a whole. yes, it is also a really cool feat of storytelling that a whole bunch of movies spanning a whole bunch of years could all come together and culminate in a big huge blowout finale. yes, it could have been far better, but yes, it also could have been far worse. 

i wasn’t a fan of thor being a punchline in this film. like, the whole “lol thor fat” thing was like, really tired and not cool. and the fact that his genuine moments of expressing grief and the significant trauma he’s been through were played off for laughs more often than not bc “lol thor supposed to be big many man but he’s crying like a wimpyboy instread.” like, fucking please. it’s 2019 and other male characters were allowed to be shown crying and processing their trauma but thor’s??? not allowed for some reason??? anyway they did him dirty in this movie and i’m not super pleased abt that. 

i didn’t like that they fridged natasha. i’m not a fan of scarjo so much these days, but i did like natasha. 2012 me adored her and was 100000% behind her as the Only Woman (despite being miffed that she was the Only Woman) and i really liked her character and redemption arc through the films that she appeared in. and like, i get the justification for fridging her. like i get that she was this assassin who killed a bunch of folks and in the end, not only wiped out the red in her ledger, but saved the whole damn universe in doing so. i get that. i’m just annoyed that they literally went and fridged the Only Woman to give the boys manpain before the third act. 

speaking of the ladies.... the One Scene Where Women Get To Do Things. my god. the critical feminist part of my mind greatly resented the obvious lip service of that scene, and the fact that the ladies only got the one shining moment before we got back to the sausage fest. but lord, the lesbian part of my mind hella enjoyed it. like i was legit bouncing in my seat like YESSSS FUCK EM UP LADIES i was just completely stoked. 

and my god. MY GOD CAN WE TALK ABOUT CAROL’S HAIRCUT AKA A GIFT TO THE LESBIANS. THIS MOVIE HAS MANY SINS BUT WE CAN ALL THANK IT FOR THAT HAIRCUT. (and again, feminist me is like, hey, dont focus on her appearance, focus on the important shit she did in singlehandedly turning the battle around for everyone, but lesbian lizard brain is hhhhhhhhhhhhh girl hot)

anyways. 2012 me was a month out of a major jaw surgery when i saw the first avengers, puffy faced, on heavy painkillers, and unable to eat any solid foods, and just generally weak and miserable. i dragged myself to the theatre and i smiled the whole way through that movie bc even though i was feeling super shitty, that 360 shot of the team made me so excited and happy. so happy that i watched and rewatched a bootleg download over what was probably the worst summer of my life, and it made me happy and gave me hope, dumb as that may sound. 

i havent watched the first avengers movie in a long time, and i’m not sure if i’d feel the same way seeing it now. remembering how it felt then still makes me happy, but seeing that same 360 shot repeated in endgame didnt stoke much emotion. tumblr fandom took a lot of my avengers joy away. the drama and character hate and constant complaining and cringe culture bullshit exhausted me. and the recent turns of the mcu also contributed to that. a lot of things contributed to it, i guess. but i dont feel as happy as i once did. so a lot of this movie rang a little bit hollow, needless to say. 

that being said, though, i did feel a little flicker of that joy. for all the movie’s and the franchise’s faults, of which there are many, i can say that the moment where all those portals opened up and the revived characters stepped though, i felt that happiness again. i legit almost cried when i saw shuri’s silhouette step out of that circle. that moment when the score came in with that booming version of the avengers theme, i was 2012 me again, just for a moment, and i think that’s worth something. to me, that’s worth something. so for all its sins, i thank the movie for that. 

this is rly rambly and im tired so im just gonna say 2 more things. things i’m not personally super invested in, but other people are, and so i feel i need to have an opinion on em.

first is bucky. i fucking adore him, and i am kinda miffed that he got like, no interactions with steve. i know steve/peggy is the canon ship, i knew it was always endgame (heh) and that stucky is just a fandom thing. but god damn it, even if they were never gonna have their relationship go there (which tbh i literally never even came close to expecting to happen) it still feels a little bit unfair to have steve basically ignore probably the most important person in his life. like, i know he wanted to live his happy straight life with peggy, and passing on the shield and identity of captain america to sam is super important, and i loved that moment and would never begrudge him that bc i adore sam. i was just... really sad that bucky had to get kinda shafted for that. (literally all i was saying in the last half hour was “but where’s bucky? but what about bucky?” our boy deserved better. 

second is tony. tony tony tony. i know folks have a lot of strong feelings about him, both ways. i know of folks who think he’s the scum of the earth for some dumb reason, and i personally know others who think the entire mcu should revolve around him, for equally dumb reasons. i’m more neutral. i think he’s a good character who made questionable decisions in the past. i feel for him and his struggles with PTSD. i respect him as a character in-universe and also for what he and RDJ accomplished. like, if he hadn’t hit it out of the park with that first movie like a fucking decade ago, none of this would have been possible, and i think that’s pretty damn cool, regardless of feelings on the monster juggernaut the mcu has turned into. basically, i know some folks are maliciously rejoicing at his death while complaining that he got a hero’s send-off when he is a Bad And Not Morally Pure Man, which is. boring. and other people (namely one who i know personally in my family) who are mad because he is an Angel and deserved the Best Happy Ending Because No Bad Things Are Allowed To Happen To This Perfect Boy. i’m not here for either opinion. i’m okay that he died (peter crying over him did get to me in a huge way, but i think tom holland just has a power that if he’s crying, i’m crying so idk). i think it’s cool that he got to save everyone and got a heroic and well deserved send off. this isnt a revolutionary opinion i just wanted to throw it out there bc im bored with the polarization. 

and... yeah? i think that’s it? sorry, im really tired and this probs doesn’t make sense but i just felt like i had to get the initial reactions and feelings down before the thinkpieces get to me lmao. 

oh, also nebula deserved better 2kforever i just love her a lot and want her to be happy and not suffer, kthxbye 

[one-of-the-birds]

Hey there, we havent talked in s while but here are some questions from the color ask. Zinc white Cadmium yellow Burnt sienna Cobalt blue spectral Blue cobalt Glauconite Green Indigo Have a great day, lots of hugs ❤🧡💛💚💙💜💟

Hello again lovely!! I agree, it has been far too long since we’ve talked! I hope you are doing well

*scrolls through blog to find the color ask post*

Zinc White; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

Today is the first good day as far as low pain levels I’ve had in two weeks. I know there are things I should be doing, but currently I’m just enjoying being able to move my body without too much pain. I just want to enjoy the moment.

Cadmium Yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

The very first thing that pops into my head is sunshine.

Burnt Sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it?

Growing up my mother had this giant book that was all about Monet and his paintings (I think we  still have it somewhere). I remember being fascinated with his works. I think the one that always made me feel the most was his works on the Water Lily Pond with the bridge. I also adore his Weeping Willow paintings, The Olive Tree Wood In The Moreno Garden& Madame Monet and Child (Camille Monet and a Child in a Garden).

Cobalt Blue Spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

I haven’t done much traveling yet, but I have been to a few places. I think one of my favorites that I can truly remember in great detail was the trip my family took to Mexico right before I started high school. We of course went to the more touristy side of Mexico but it was still gorgeous. I live in Texas, so when I go to the beach it is Galveston... Where the water and the beach are brown. To be able to see truly crystal clear/bright blue water blew me away!! The beaches had creamy white sand! It was gorgeous!

Blue Cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

Growing up I HATED my name. My initials spelled out the word CELL. You can imagine how much fun bullies had with that growing up. Now that I’m older I’ve come to really love my name. I was named after my grandmother who I adored. Sadly because we lived so far apart (she was in Indiana and I am in Texas)plus family drama we rarely got to see her. I have a few select memories of times spent with her that are some of my most precious memories... Anyway I’m getting off topic here. I have another name that I often go by online (I used it on here for like the first three years I had this blog). But to answer the second part of this question, no, I wouldn’t change my name.

Glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

A bit taller than the average woman with peaches and cream skin tone (according to my fiance). Hair that can range from looking like a brand new penny to a deep red depending on the light. Bright brown eyes. A light dusting of freckles across my face and dotted around my body. Full lips that are often smiling.

Green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

Hmm.. I have an ever growing list of places that I want to visit if I could ever afford to travel there.

Egypt: I know it is cliche of me to say this, but I’d love to go see the pyramids. Plus since I heard about the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities when I was younger I’ve been dying to go and explore!!!!

Greece: This one is a bit obvious considering my religious views. I would love to see the temples of my deities and spend time exploring the islands.

Wales/Scotland/Ireland: I know I’m cheating by grouping these three together, but my fiance and I have been planning a “Celtic Getaway” for our honeymoon for about a year now? Nothing is set in stone though. Both of our families can trace their roots to either one or all of these countries. We’d just love the opportunity to go and explore!

Indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received?

Honestly just about every one my fiance ( @weldman94 ) has given me. He always seems to be able to come up with a new one that just takes my breath away and makes me feel so special and loved. I know that isn’t a very clear answer but its the truth.

Thank you again for asking!! These were so much fun to answer. Just going to tag you to make sure you see this. I know tumblr sometimes loses things! @wondergal23

[namandutree]

KIM MYUNGSOO in MANILA 2020 Hello! Sorry for being inactive. I’ve been also inactive on my stan twitter account. But since I miss posting here on tumblr, just wanna share my moments here on this platform. By the way, thank you for the 333 followers. I am stunned with the followers who keep following me despite being inactive in here. November 23, 2019 - the ticket selling day. Before the fanmeeting details has been released, I was supposed to watch a korean band concert (Day6), in which I had a trouble convincing my mom that I will be watching a concert in Manila (I live in a province that’s why she’s so hesitant to allow me and it’s expensive for me since I have to pay not only for the concert ticket, but also for my plane fare and pocket money). Just a little bit of sweet talk with my mom, and then she gave in. My best friend was supposed to help me with my ticket purchasing, but I kinda changed my mind before the ticket selling, and that time, the details about Myungsoo’s fanmeeting has been spilled out and I had a hard time choosing between the two events. And since the concert of Day6 (which was on Nov. 23, the same day as the ticket selling), might be a conflict to my thesis defense sched, I chose to attend Myungsoo’s fanmeeting instead (well why should I not, they are my ultimate babies). I actually told mom SOME white lies 🤣. All she knew was my best friend was treating me the concert ticket, when in reality, I saved up a money for it and even though I had problems, someone still helped me through it. I actually want to thank God for it. Ticket selling day. This was the day after the important event we had from our college department. I couldn’t really enjoy the party the night before the day of the ticket selling because I was scared and I was having thoughts that “what if we couldn’t purchase). So the ticket selling day. There was a major black out in the whole province that day. Just how things gets worse. I woke up early because me and my friend have to meet up early for the ticket selling since the site where we will be buying the ticket will open the ticket selling at 9 am so I had to wake up up at 8 am. Also, since there’s a black out, I had to search for open computer shops and I had a hard time, my friend also searched for it and I already went to 3-4 computer shops that has a fast speed internet, but all of it were closed. 😭 Luckily, my inspirit friend found an open computer shop, and I rushed there. It was already past 9 and we were panicking. The other friend we have who is also buying along with us is also panicking because she’s in manila. So we can only communicate through messenger. She tried to purchase the Loge tickets, Row 1, but unfortunately, there was something wrong with her debit card when purchasing, and we can only hold the ticket for 10 mins. So after 10 mins, the tickets were already taken by other buyers. Fortunately, I already asked my mutual friend if we can borrow her credit card in case there will be an error, so we used her credit card and ended up on Balcony row 6, but the venue is only small so it’s still worth the shot. We were super excited when we got tickets. It will be my first KPOP event. Jan. 8, 2020 - LEADERNIM KIM SUNGGYU IS FINALLY BACK FROM THE MILITARY Day of the fanmeeting (Jan. 12, 2020) So since I live in the province, I had to take a plane to go to Manila. I arrived in Manila on Jan. 11, 2020. I will be staying with my best friend, who lives just a few minutes from the venue. I’ve already been to the venue once so I’m already familiar with it. I bought Myungsoo some snacks from our province. And I also had trouble on handling it to the admin who is in-charged on it but I luckily, I did. And I hope he got some of it and enjoyed it. On the fanmeeting day, I had breakfast with my best friend before I head out to the hotel, where my friend and other inspirit mutuals were staying. I will be staying for the night in there after the event with them. I knew where Myungsoo was staying, I was there to meet one of the admins of BIPH but I didn’t dare to wait for him. We still have a long day to go. So I went to the hotel where my friends are staying, and met up with them. They were so energetic and loud (shout out to them, I really enjoyed their company). My friend and my other mutual friend had to head out for the cupsleeve event of the other group we are stanning (clue: their disbandment was rlly injustice 😭) and then few hours we head out to the Kim Myungsoo cupsleeve event. The queue line was so long since the cafe they chose for the event was only small, so we had to wait a little bit outside, we met some of the closed inspirit friends I have and it was the first time meeting them. But I had to go back to the first cupsleeve event I went to to hang out some more with my other mutuals. I also got my fanmeeting goods. At 2pm, I bid my goodbye to them since I had to fall in line for the physical ticket. Since we purchase online, we wanted to convert our E-tickets into physical tickets for remembrance. The line was also long and the staff keep saying that they will be closed at 3pm but they had no choice but to accommodate the fans who were falling in line. I met other mutuals. I also gave away the freebies that me and my friend got for the fans. I was mobbed. But it was ok. And there was actually a funny thing on my encounter with my mutuals. I met them on the crossroad. I was walking on the pedestrian line and they were about to but I ran to them and they were shocked that they ended up backing out from crossing. 😂😂 Ok back to the main event! Since we were in balcony, we had to take the stairs that will lead us upstairs. We fell in line for 20-30 minutes or longer so me and my friends chatted. And then when we went inside, it was WOW. You know that feeling when you enter a concert venue? Yeah THAT feeling. We were really really excited. We went to our respective seats and met some of our mutuals. We had a countdown and when past 6pm came, we already expected that they will be a little bit late (Filipino time lol) and when a VTR of Myungsoo played on the screen, loud screams were heard on the venue, and then AN ANGEL CAME OUT ON STAGE. He is so handsome, he was wearing white and he LITERALLY LOOK LIKE A REAL ANGEL. He started singing one of his ost songs. I don’t want to elaborate the whole happenings. Miss Sunny was the emcee, and Myungsoo was far from who we knew as L. We were seeing a KIM MYUNGSOO on that night. He is such a gentleman, and cute. And he really responds to Miss Sunny so kindly and cutely. He even offered her and his translator water. Of course he changed his clothes and the event went by. He had games and segments and he interacted with the fans really well. There were a lot of fanservice from Myungsoo, a lot of fans were given the chance to either have games with him, take a selfie with him, and even be hugged by him. Lucky to those who were called on stage. We keep on chanting One more, One more, so more fans were given the chance lol. And oh, I actually wanted to thank my friend for lending me her extra yeobong because I still havent gotten the chance to buy either version 1 or 2 that time but when woollim restocked the version 2 last february for Gyu’s concert, I finally reserved one! Yay. So the event went on. Myungsoo went down to the crowd on MVP and VIP section to walk while performing. During TMI of Myungsoo, he told us the things he did the moment he woke up until he went to the venue. He actually thought it will take him longer to arrive on the venue due to the traffic but his hotel was only 3-5 mins away 😂. He keep on telling his manager “Yah minseo-ah i’m hangery”. His accent was really cute 🤣. And he actually strolled around Gateway mall and lucky fans met him in there. And then he mentioned about the mango juice that people are drinking so he drank one also 🤣 and he keep saying toot to censor the things like Starbucks and etc 🤣🤣. So he just talked about his upcoming drama, sang more songs, only his OST, he also sang one INFINITE song, he even told us that he will be back with INFINITE next time. But due to the sudden happenings in the Philippines, the Taal volcano erupted on the same time and Manila was already affected by the ashfall even though the Taal was far. So Myungsoo had to end the event early for the safety of everyone (fans still have to travel and go home which will be risky due to the high alert of the volcano). We were sad but we understood it too. And Myungsoo was also not feeling well, so he didnt continue the things he was supposed to do. He was still about to sing some songs I think and we had a banner project for him and we were about to sing along while he sing to an INFINITE song but the even were directed to the hitouch and photoop. We went downstairs since all of the ticket holders have a hitouch with Myungsoo. We were really excited, and I was figuring out how to hide my phone while pointing to Myung when I hitouch him, I put it on my bag, and I could see him abit from afar since someone was blocking my view 😭 and when we went on stage, it was quick 😭 I was distracted by his manager and by the people around him I though I could entwine my hand with him but it was only hitouch. But BRMSKFJDJD HE LOOKS REALLY HANDSOME, A REAL VISUAL, AN ANGEL, ETHEREAL, ALL THE POSITIVE ADJECTIVES COULD DESCRIBE HIM. IT FEELS SURREAL. LIKE I WANTED TO GO BACK INSIDE AND JUST STARE AT HIM ALL DAY. After the Hitouch, we went out and screamed and met some of our friends and took pictures with them. When we met the mutuals that we will be staying in the hotel with, we actually decided to go at the side of the venue, the VIP GATE. We waited there. We were so sure that Myungsoo will exit in there. And then when a car pulled off the driveway, we saw Myungsoo’s silhouette inside since we were on the other side of his car. But at least it was an unforgettable moment. We also met one of his managers and he was funny. 😂 We also met some of Myungsoo’s fansite and MADE IN L IS REALLY PRETTY IRL. I think Myungsoo was supposed to take his flight on that night back to Korea? But due to the volcanic eruption, all flights were cancelled. When me and my friends went to look for a restaurants/food chains to eat, we already felt the ashfall outside. It was alarming, and the smell coming from the eruption was actually not good for the health. And the new people we met that night had both of their flights cancelled. And also the flights that our friends have on that midnight were cancelled so they had to stay one more night in the hotel. We went back to the hotel and that’s it. We also got a lot of freebies from anyone. Thankies

[gryffon]

gonna post that thing i wrote about my abusive ex, this isnt a callout but its just like, all the shit ive been wanting to say and havent felt like i could. gonna namedrop people, gonna not give a fuck, i cant cw for everything but there are rape mentions, physical assault mentions and like. general feelings that happen the wake of emotional abuse.

i dont check often but my ex has deleted the blog she was currently using, (@windowpainter or somethng. she was @hamgubber before, previously @miniaturehorse if anybody remembers from when we were totgether and would post on each others blogs nonstop lol) she has a history of lurking around and worming her way into befriending popular people in online subcommunities i am part of or adjacent to. i have not spoken to her since i realized she was abusive and started to try to pull out of our codependent dynamic. she panicked when i realized actions speak louder than words and her long winded apologies, excuses, and textbookish tripe about DBT and getting better or whatever meant nothing in the face of months of repeated lying, breaking of promises, degradation, disrespect to me as a person, disregard of my physical disabilities, insults, patronization, manipulation, multiple instances of cheating, antagonization, neglect, extortion and overall emotional abuse. when she caught wind that i was going to leave her she wrote me a series of emails totaling over 30,000 words, all varying from "i love you please dont leave me we can work this out. breaking up with me is weak." to "you are not a victim. you are not a victim. here is a categorized list of the ways in which you are abusive while i downplay my own behaviors and patronize you. here's an ultimatum and you are not allowed to respond with more than one sentence." to which i disregarded and wrote up a long, thoughtful reply and chose to never send, ending contact with her for good. this was like, 2013 or 2014.

she never called me out, and i never called her out despite giving very serious consideration to it. i was listening to the advice of my therapist at the time, who told me that she thrives on drama and spends her life constantly creating it, and to give her that kind of attention was exactly what she wanted and would only engage her more in my life and be more degrading to my mental health. the best course of action was to give her nothing, and not give her any more power or influence over me, any footholds or any more of my time, consideration, energy or thought. if anybody reading this has endured emotional abuse from somebody you love, you know it is extremely difficult to totally ignore somebody like this, especially when that person has isolated you from the majority of your support system and friends and you have shaped your entire identity around your relationship with your abuser. but i have followed my therapists advice. i have been working on moving on.

still, over the past few years ive had my mutuals contacted by her friends and told to stop talking to me. ive had people i follow put her and her friends on my dash, which up until recently would send me into a panic that lasted several hours. i have a lot of people in the lesbian/commie/leftist/trans/etc/whatever circles on tumblr who just like randomly have me blocked for no reason (since i dont give a fuck and im going for a spirit of total honesty here, ill name drop @butchcommunist, who she dated for a period of time iirc. a lot of my followeds and mutuals reblog from her. i made a point not to check either of their blogs after finding out but it was upsetting since i would see julia all over my dash. that connection still exists in my mind and its pretty upsetting.). ultimately, and rationally i know that these things do not matter that much. i have a vibrant, healthy and loving circle of friends outside of the internet/tumblr and some randos on the internet having me blocked doesn't really mean anything in the scheme of things. still, when this shit happened it felt terrifying and i was horrified, my emotions magnified by the effects of emotional abuse. despite my VERY intense urge for closure, i try to keep as far away from her as possible.

i gave this woman a year of my life that in my memory is defined by her. i was very madly in love and i spent countless hours at her beck and call, countless hours in calls and in text conversations with her, countless hours supporting her through breakdowns, countless hours talking through her fears and worries, countless hours defending her when she stirred up drama, countless hours defending her horrible behavior to my friends, countless hours rationalizing her abuse to myself and people who approached me with worry, countless hours loving her and wondering why it felt so horrifically painful to be with somebody who told you they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you. almost all the money i was making at the time was spent on her. i helped her move across the continent. i had her at my house for weeks. she fucking took out a loan from my mom. despite how big a role she played in my life, over the past 3 years since our falling out i have only checked her blog less times than i can count on my fingers, usually in moments of distress and in the spirit of self-destruction.

i know for a fact she has convinced her friends to check my blog for her god knows how many times, telling them about her fear of me as a 'dangerous person', that i’m going to call her out, her "fear" that im obsessing over her and am quietly plotting to ruin her life. she's scared for a good reason, but not because i'm an abusive bitter ex out on a smear campaign to slander her innocent name and ruin her life in the name of revenge. she's scared because she knows i have some undeniably serious receipts on her. i have receipts of her sending me a horrifying letter her ex had written her describing a graphic instance of a time my ex had raped her, and of her admitting outright to the rape. i have logs of her checking her rape victim's blog and telling me how exasperated she was her victim was still angry with her even after she apologized, and couldn't understand why her victim was stuck on her and wouldnt move on, going on to blame modern feminism and its tendency to portray abusers and rapists as incorrigible. i have receipts of her admitting to perpetrating emotional and physical abuse in her previous relationships, like an instance where she describes losing control of herself and beating her ex senselessly. i have talked with exes, who confirm stories she had told me where she would cut her arms in her presence, deep enough that her life was at risk, and then refuse to go to the hospital, leaving her girlfriend to either bandage and tend to her wounds or else my ex would bleed out and die. those are just the more horrific ones. i have many receipts that document her emotional abuse towards me as well, which im barely even getting into here. i know plenty of other people have experiences with her and accounts of interacting with her that undeniably portrays her as a serial abuser, rapist, and extortionist and exposes the falsehood of her charming and intelligent persona.

several times i have considered calling her out because she has proven herself beyond a doubt that she is a serial abuser who leaves a trail of burning bridges in her wake. i have no doubts that the evidence i have against her is completely solid, and her claims of my status as an abuser that she perpetuates to her friends are built on pillars of sand. i am not afraid of anything she could bring to the table anymore. i have spoken quite a bit with exes and ex friends (some of which sided with her during our breakup and who eventually ended up cutting off, and we reconnected with years after), and they all suggest the same shit. she is manipulative to her very core and will not stop hurting and using people until she dies.

these are big claims and again, this isn't a callout and the reason im not providing the logs is because im just trying to get out my thoughts in an honest way and im not trying to make a case about anything. this is cathartic. im so fucking tired of feeling like its a secret. i dont even know what blog shes using or whatever and while that scares me, i don't care anymore. people who are still semi-big names in the online communities i drift around in still have me blocked and a lot of times i wish i could message them and tell them "hey, you know she's wrong, and i have absolute proof." but my self worth is high enough that i dont need to go around convincing every single rando who doesn't like me that im a good person, not to mention the risk of indirect contact through those who's lives she is still present in.

for a long time the way i coped was by holding onto the idea that she would apologize to me, and i could finally have closure. she apologized to the ex i mentioned earlier, and because of that i hoped she would grow enough as a person to realize that there is literally no way any rational being could look at our relationship and say that, yeah, i was the one hurting her. apparently thats too much credit to give her, and i realize she only apologized to her ex because she wanted me to think she was changing, growing and a good person at heart who just had a rough past. after enough time, enough conversations with people who she was previously close to, i have accepted that she will never truly dedicate herself to getting better. she will always be using people, always be hurting people, always lying, always hypocritical, always disingenuous and always covering her ass by hiding under the language of victimhood, trauma, recovery, self-improvment, DBT, and therapy to convince her victims that her offences are missteps in her journey to improvement. 

this isn't a callout, this isn't meant to be circulated as a warning, this isn't meant to be any sort of vengeance or crusade. i dont even think shes fuckin on tumblr anymore lol. i don't care anymore. i dont care what people take this as. this is me writing an honest, open, reflective, cathartic processing of the scenario that impacted my teenage years so severely.  this isnt concise or well written and i dont need it to be. i've spent too many years wanting to talk about this, needing to process it more openly, but being riddled with horrific anxiety and fear, worrying about her and her social influence and her ability to impact my life. but its been a long time. ive worked hard at this. ive worked hard to get past this. ive worked hard to learn how to be with people who will treat me with kindness. i needed to write this and i needed to post this without editing every sentence a thousand times. this is largely unedited. i dont care if this makes me look pathetic or obsessed with her ive been letting these feelings stir for years and im just ready to breathe again.

if you want to talk about this post DM me or whatever. if you know her and think its all bullshit and you want logs, sure. i dont have anything to hide anymore. her name is viv and she is the worst person i have ever met and i feel sorry that i gave her so much of my love. thanks.

[stitchedcurses]

im just gonna vent vibe under cut 

ok so like i forgot i had a tumblr and im so thankful rn bc i just wanna vibe (i.e. vent) without upsetting anyone ahhaaaaaa

im like sorta sad bc two people that i really care about hate each other??

or, to be more accurate: one of the people (person a) hates the other and the person who is being hated (person b) has literally no idea that’s even happening?

and im not going to impose my views or opinions on people, and i can understand that person a might not like person b because of a misunderstanding that happened, but, i was there when it happened and i listened to the perspectives of everyone who was involved, so i feel like i have a good understanding of what happened and i feel like i can safely say that it was all a misunderstanding and it happened because of a lack of communication! 

but, because of person a’s personality and experiences they had in the past (that were similar to what happened) therye really upset at person b and were very heated about the situation as a whole. (they listened to one side of the story and were immediately upset and didnt listen to person b’s side. i dont think person b is evil, or all to blame, but i can agree that they handled some things poorly. both people did, but person a only listened to one side of the story and didnt get the full picture)

i thought that maybe once time passed theyd maybe be more calm and look at the situation more rationally once the heat of the moment had passed, but theyre still very angry and mad at person b. (this entire situation happened like 6 months ago, so its been a good while)

this, in and of itself isnt good, but its something im okay with respecting because i can understand that emotions are powerful and i cannot change person a’s opinion, nor should i impose my views on them

what’s making me really upset though, is that person b is trying to make an effort to be nice to person a, and person a is making really really mean vague posts about them? posts accusing them of being selfish and deceitful and fake, when none of these things are true at all and thats whats really upsetting me because i think its just such a mean thing to do? 

and i dont want to say anything to person a because they have a right to post what theyd like on their social media, since it’s theirs and i have no business telling them what they can and cannot post but it makes me so sad to see? because before i knew who they were talking about i was like “wow this must be such a horrible person and im so sorry you have to deal with them” but now that i know who theyre talking about, i can safely say that those things arent true!!! 

theyre not true at all, and person b and person a share a lot of mutual friends! and i can see that those mutual friends have interacted with the post, and im pretty sure they dont know who person a is talking about and so it makes me really sad to see? because i think if they know who person a was talking about they wouldnt agree, but its also not my position to tell them nor do i think that telling anyone who person a is vaguing about would help! i think it would make everything much much worse...

to person a’s credit, they have given 0 hints as to who theyre talking about and so i can respect that i guess? theyre venting but keeping the drama to themselves and i respect that...

person a talked to me today about everything, and said that theyd try to change their attitude only for the other friends that they care about, and they told me that they likely wont ever change their view on person b.

i told person a id respect their choice, and in their defense all the vague posts were made before they talked to me and vented their frustrations, so im sure that the vague posts were just a way to vent! but reading over them, therye so mean and hateful that it really hurts to see that?

maybe i shouldnt take it so personally, but i have had to deal with people being vague and back and forth and secretly hating one another all my childhood within my family and it makes me so tense and nervous and anxious and rationally, though i know i shouldnt feel this way, im so anxious and i keep having such scary thoughts thinking that all of my friends actually hate me and that i annoy them and bother them, and i know i shouldnt think this way but this entire situation is giving me flashbacks to all of my family problems and i made this group of friends to get away from those problems so now i kinda feel like i dont have any safe place at all and i really dont know what to do

i cant talk to person a about how i feel because i already told them its ok and telling them how i really feel now would only make them feel worse and theyre already so angry and touchy right now and i cant tell person b because theyd feel really bad that person a hates them and its just really difficult because i cant talk to anyone outside of them because i dont want them to talk to anyone else about the situation that's happening since i want it all to stay secret / private and ive just been on the brink of crying on and off all day today from this

i just wanted to have fun with the people i care about but its just upsetting to me because ive talked to person b about person a and theyre very sweet when talking about them and they have said they seem nice but person a is being just so hateful (for lack of a better word)

theyre the type of person to hold a grudge and ive had issues with them before, but weve moved passed all of those but they still have some little habits of passive agression that make me uncomfortable

but at the same time, this person is such a wonderful friend who i care a lot about and they care about me a lot, and i know that they do which is why im only more conflicted with everything.

i understand that the issue is between them but i feel like its all my fault somehow and im jsut really upset about everything. i dont know why this makes me feel like a bad person,but it does... it makes me think i havent defended person b enough? i dont know... im really tired and sad about this.

i dont know what to do and i know realistically everyone wont get along but i think person a has anger issues that they should maybe work with and learn to deal with and person b has a bad habit of taking everything personally and getting very anxious and paranoid, but they know about their problems and i know that theyre working on them...

im just kinda shocked i think? because i know person a can get angry and ive known that, but ive never seen them direct such hatred towards someone that im friends with and who many of their friends are friends with. it makes me feel like person a is maybe a little stubborn? theyre holding a grudge against a person that all their other friends are friends with and so theyre taking their word over the word of many people... im not saying they should be blindly faithful and im likely looking into this too much, but im just trying to understand for my own sake why im so hurt by this and i think that it has to do with the fact that it makes me feel like person a doesnt trust my judgment nor the judgment of any of their friends? 

i feel like person a in this situation has let me see another side of them? and it makes me think about some abusive family members and how theyd be angry and wouldnt listen to anyone elses views and i think that maybe its not so much person a, and it might be more my experiences? 

but it still hurts me a lot, a lot a lot and its making me wonder if theis friendship is going to last? i feel like the next time i see person a i wont know how to react to them and im worried i might cry

a friend right now offered to talk to me about it but im afraid and my throat is so tight i can barely talk without my voice shaking and i feel like if i do start talking ill start crying and they wont be able to understand me... 

this is so long but i feel a little better i think. realistically i dont think anyone read this, and im okay with that! on the off chance that someone did, then thank you, im sorry for whining and im sure it sounds silly... i know there are bigger problems but im stumped right now...

[decadenttimetravelmentality-blog]

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which auto insurance should i get for my 2005 chrysler sebring? i have farmers but its so freaking expensive! i pay 200 dollras every month and i know theres people who pay less i wanna know which insurance would be cheaper? but i want full coverage and everything.

Involved in a car accident with 4 other cars. My car was the last to get hit. Insurance of car that hit me?

does not want to pay and my car is totaled. The first car that provoked the accident ran away. Now the insurance company of the car that hit me does not want to pay for the damages, they claim that their dirver did not cause the accident, even tho he was the one who hit me. I had liability car insurande so my insurance it's not responsible for my damages. I consulted a lawyer and he said nothing can be done in a situation like this. Who should be held responsible in this case? Is there anything I can do legally to get my car fixed or get some sort of settlement to I can buy another car?""

""Dont know how much car insurance will be, i will be a beginner driver?""

I am going to be driving in a year or two and i have been looking at Jeep Rubicons 4x4, 4 door im not sure how much insurace will be.""

Insurance when your pregnant?

I currently have insurance although October 1st my coverage will be terminated because I left my job. I recently found out that I was pregnant and was wondering how I will get insurance and will my pregnancy be considered pre-existing when I get insurance through a private company. Should I try to go to the doctor while I have my current insurance through work or wait until I have new insurance

Help with getting health insurance?

I'm a 22 year old college student and need health insurance. My mother doesn't work and has medicare/medicaid. I don't speak to my father. I'm a resident assistant on campus, which doesn't offer health insurance as a benefit of working. The school offers health insurance but it's around $2,000 a semester (four months) for very little coverage. There is commercials on TV about automotive insurance and life insurance but I don't know how to find health insurance. Where can I go to find more information on different real insurance companies and what's the average price (either per month or lump some) I would have to pay for health insurance? Any help would be great! Thank you!""

Cheap motorcycle insurance?

I am an 18 year old male in southern CA and I wanna know what is the cheapest motorcycle insurance for a 2006 yamaha r6 (crotch rocket) and where can i find it?

How do I get health insurance?

I am a heart transplant patient without health insurance and am on disability for 8 months. I am not able to recieve coverage from anyone and have large medical and prescription costs.

What company will insure my toyota supra twin turbo?

In perth, wa. Youngest driver 19 years old""

""In California, are you required to have health insurance for your child if your job offers family insurance?""

1. In California, are you required to have health insurance for your child if your job offers family health insurance (medical, dental and vision) for you and your child? 2. does the court require you to sign up your child through your workplace's health insurance (family plan)? note: I am a noncustodial parent""

Auto Insurance Question/Teen Driver?

Our teen is about to get his learner's permit. At what point am I obligated to notify my auto insurance company that our son is now a driver.....when he gets his learner's permit or when he gets his actual driver's license? I'm wondering at what point my rates will increase as a result of needing to insure my son. The state is Vermont. Thanks!

Could I get car insurance before having a car?

I don't seem to have a car at the moment like I mentioned. But I was wondering if I could get a car first and then purchase the insurance or would that not work?

Insurance for a 17 year old on a 1.4 Golf S?

When I turn seventeen, I plan to get a car. I've seen a 55 plate golf for 3,995 which I'd like. My Friend has a 1.6 Punto, and at 18 years he pays just over a grand.. so i figure the golf won't be too bad.. how much would it cost to insure? And no links to sites please, I can't check yet.""

Anyone ever heard of a car insurance company called The Electric Company?

I called them and got a really great quote on car insurance. Has anyone ever used this company and is it a good company to go with?

Can Geico ever higher the payment for monthly?

i've recently been a member of Geico and would like to know if they would ever higher the payment monthly than the usual payment they gave u the first time applied to geico insurance for my car. they just recently sent me with a large bill instead of the usual bill i pay. why was i billed with a large payment when i only have just one car to pay. have u had that issue with Geico?

Car Insurance in NY?

Car Insurance in NY,NY Some used car after year 2000 , for 18 yr old.? I heard its like $4000 a year.?""

How much will insurance cost? (teen driver)?

im 16 and im getting my license in a week or so and i was wondering how much will the insurance cost? im going to be driving a 2003 corolla and my parents have state farm. any help? thanks!

I need liability insurance for a small taxi company in NJ. Anyone have any recommendations?

I need liability insurance for a small taxi company in NJ. Anyone have any recommendations? Also need price quotes for both taxi car insurance or limo car insurance.

""Car accident, no insurance?""

I just got into an accident 5 days ago. I still don't believe it was my fault if anything maybe both of ours. Regardless she had minor damage. She was on the phone obviously not paying attention as I was pulling out of the driveway when she was attempting to pull into a drive way across from the one I was pulling out of. So as you can imagine it's hard telling. We both have scratches on our left hand side bumpers but she has a dent that can be fixed. She had her friend with her so it was hard to really even defend myself because it was her word against mine. She called the police, thank God they passed because no one was hurt. They just told her to take down my information and deal with it. She took down my license plate, took pictures, such a drama queen, it honestly wasn't that bad. She has my license number too but when I when I went to call my insurance provider, they said it wasn't renewed. No police report, and she hasn't called me with a quote. How much trouble can I get in??""

How much is the fine for no insurance in texas?

police set up a routine check up on a one way street and everything was good seat belt, DL, inspection sticker but the cop forgot to ask me for the insurance so he sent someone else to chek my insurance and thats when they got me""

Where can I get E&O insurance at a reasonable price?

I am an insurance agent working through an agency. I need E&O insurance before I can sell certain policies. I'm looking for easy, affordable coverage.""

Which is the best website to find cheaper car insurance?

I havent found a quote on-line before, and am not keen on supplying all me personal informtion. Is this standard procedure when requestin a quote? Please recommend the best website to find the best deal. Thanks!""

Driver's Test Insurance?

Im going to take the driver's test next month but have no insurance. The car is under my dad's name and is insured under his name. Can I use his car and insurance for the test or do I have to get my own insurance for it?

Car Insurance question?

about how much does it cost for a 16 year old to be added to parents car insurance? allstate

Cheap Car to insure?? (UK)?

Hey, I'm 18/female and was looking to start my driving lessons soon and I was wondering what cars would be cheap to run and insure, and does anyone reccomend any driving schools that are an okay price..if you could put links up to cars I would be grateful. Thanks :)""

California: Smogging an older car?

I have a 1983 Datsun 280zx, and I just got a letter in the mail saying I have to smog this vehicle. I thought there was an age bracket for classic cars that didnt need to be smogged ...show more""

Will speeding tickets raise your insurance?

I just got a 2 point violation the other day, will this raise the cost of my insurance being that I am only 20?

Car Insurance?

I have a quick question, my husband wants to buy a car [in which we have the money] however when we go to the insurance office do we need to pay a downpayment in order to get the car insured?""

How much do car rental agencies typically charge for insurance?

How much do car rental agencies typically charge for insurance?

How much will car insurance cost me?

I'm an 18 year old male. My GPA in high school was 3.4. No criminal record. I'm going to be driving my mom's Honda Accord 2005. She only got into 2-3 accidents ever. She has Farmers Insurance. They never respond when my parents ask them how much insurance would cost me so I figured I should ask someone here for an estimate.

Car insurance?

So im thinking of getting a car... but im 16 so i know insurance is gonna be insane, and im in MA so its mandatory. Anyways from what i understand it cost way less to get added to your parents policy. But can i do that if im not driving their car, but my own car i bought (not yet)? I cant buy the car in their name... has to be in mine...""

How much would my insurance cost?

hi i am 18 and looking for a vauxhall corsa the old one or a ka the old version i wanted to know from my age and the car on average how much would my insurance cost a month i am from england so could you tell me in pounds please p.s. i know it depends on a lot more things but it will be my 1st car could anyone please give me an average thank you

What is the average motorcycle insurance cost for an over 30s on a 125cc with cbt?

What is the average motorcycle insurance cost for an over 30s on a 125cc with cbt?

Anybody could give me a estimated how much money do a 18 years olds would pay for a car insurance a full cover?

Anybody could give me a estimated how much money do a 18 years olds would pay for a car insurance a full cover? He is going to buy a 2007 Dodge Durango SLT He will fianced the car on his name! The car is for my son. We live in the states of Florida ! If you guys can give me some information about a cheaper insurance Thanks!

How much of a difference will a Mercedes cost to insure and register than a BMW?

I have a 2001 BMMW 330i and I was planning to hand it down to my little sister (who just turned 17 and got her license) Although, she wants a 2000 or 2001 Mercedes C230 or C240. My parents can afford this for her... but I was wondering how much more her parts will cost and how much her insurance and registration will cost her. Please no one who tells us that we should get a cheaper car.. it's not going to happen. Thanks though.""

Who has the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

This is going to sound crazy but try to stay with me here. I'm 17 about to be 18 and I live in Michigan. I'm going to be going to college in Lima, Ohio and will be driving back to michigan every couple of weeks. I have a truck that sucks gas so I am going to buy a bike. Either an 98'-05' Yamaha YZF R6 or R1 I haven't decided yet. I was wondering who has the cheapest insurance for what I'm doing with the bike. Basically driving it long distance and to class every so often. It will be stored in my apartment down there whenever I'm not driving it. Can anyone help me out. I know I'm a little young for any kind of cheap insurance but maybe there is a company out there that gives breaks to college students? Well anyway the main question is : From your experiences which company has the cheapest motorcycle insurance?""

What cars get low insurance rates?

I am a 16 year old and just planning ahead for when i'm 17 and get my G2. I want to buy my own car...obviously a used one...a very cheap one. I am looking to spend as little money as possible on GAS and INSURANCE. I understand there are possible discounts for good students, or if you take a driving course...but in general, what cars get low insurance?""

Short term health Insurance for my parents who coming to California from China ?

My parents are coming to visit me (California) from China. They plan to stay in U.S. for 6 months. They're 67 yrs old, my father has Diabetes (not so serious) and my mother is very healthy. I'm thinking to get a short term health insurance for them just in case they need to see a doctor. Since it's the first time they come to U.S. they have a visit visa, I'm US citizen. What insurance I should get for them? Thank you very much for your response in advance!""

What is the cheapest insurance in alberta for a new driver?

What is the cheapest insurance in alberta for a new driver?

Where can I get the most affordable/cheapest sr-22 insurance at?

I got a dui last year, live in CA, I'm 21, and about to be elgigible to get my license back in 2 weeks. Where can I get the most affordable sr-22 insurance? Also, I know I need sr-22, pay a fee, and proof of AA classes completion. Is there anything else I need to show the DMV when I go get my license back?""

""Cheap insurance cars, help me choose.?

I'm looking for a 2002 car and I'm thinking of: Ford fiesta 1.1 Vauxhall corsa 1.2 Toyota yaris 1.0 Nissan Micra 1.0 I would welcome other options and choices And your opinion will count! I want to get a cheap insurance and I can afford up to 2.300

Insurance costs?

How much do you pay for your medical/life insurance each month? Mine is about RM200.

Financial responsability in California (auto insurance) ticket.?

So I was recently given a citation during a trip to Northern California. Here's the condensed version; I went out with a group of friends to have dinner and drinks. It was about 10 people altogether, three car loads. I was originally not one of the drivers (I flew in from Southern California). Several of my friends/acquiantances drank heavily during dinner. I was asked as a favor to drive one of the car and the car owner's home. The car I drove belonged to my good friend's neighbor. I received a speeding ticket during the drive to the neighbor's home (73 in a 65) PLUS no insurance!!! I informed the officer that it was not my car and that it belonged to the passed out lady in the back but he didn't care and decided to write me the ticket anyway. Now I've been told that I will have to pay for it ($988) plus my speeding ticket. I spoke with my good friend about it but the neighbor now refuses to go to court with me or write a letter at the least explaining the scenario.""

Car insurance more expensive for men?

I'm twenty five and looking to get my first car, a small 1.3 Nissan, anyway i checked the insurance and it costs 3250 for one year, that sounds extortionate, no? I then went back and done a quote for a lady driver who just turned eighteen January just gone - it would cost 1750. Is that not sorta wrong?""

Car insurance renewal premium amount?

I have a Swift car which is one year old. I have to renew its insurance. What can be the likely estimate of insurance amount

Cheap car insurance for 17 year old female?

So i passed my driving test December 2011. Looking at car insurance and all im getting is around 2000. Ive done everything to make it cheaper because when i first started shopping around it was saying 4500 at me :| Ive put my dad on my insurance, put my miles down, quoted small engine cheap cars like corsa 1.0 and ford ka 1.3 reg 1998-2003 etc. that its on a driveway, third party only you name it. Some of my friends have been quoted like 800 with their parents on the insurance for the same cars Ive been quoting, so i must be going wrong somewhere. oh and im 18 in 2 weeks will that make a difference? thanks!""

Mustang GT Insurance? Buy or no buy? HELP?

Hey, I've been driving for almost 2 years now, I have a MG ZR at the moment but want to upgrade it in the next year or two. Been looking at the 1996 Mustang GT, Im from the UK and all these seem to be right hand drive? Is this a big issue when driving in the UK? will this effect my insurance? What sort of insurance rates would i be looking at? Anyone got any other car ideas that are similar to the ford Mustang GT, I have a real fondess for american muscle, a lot of people will probably disagree with me but i think it's because there not vastly seen here in the UK.""

How much do insurance adjusters cost?

I am fighting with my insurance company regarding fixing my motor on my boat. The insurance company already denied my claim. So now, I asked them for a second opinion and was told by the claims representative that I would have to pay for the second adjuster to come out. However, her boss did not tell me that I would have to pay out of my pocket for a second adjuster to come out and look at my boat. So I was wondering how much will it (might) cost me to have the second adjuster to come out.""

Estimate for car insurance?

I'm looking to buy like a 2003 eclipse or something cheap but nice for myself, I turn 18 in a week so it will be after i'm 18.. but under my step dads name and everything.. he has a minivan for geico and we live in queens new york, he pays around $110 for full coverage, will my insurance be much more since it's a coupe..? my mom keeps going on about how sports cars are priced more for insurance, which I understand.. but will it really be MUCH more? I mean it's not a bmw or a SL65 ... it's a crappy old v4 eclipse..""

Where can I get the best Auto Insurance Quotes?

My semi-annual auto insurance renewal is coming up. I've shopped before and I think I'm already getting a damn good rate, but still I'd like to try to get an even better rate. I've tried both Geico and Progressive, and both quoted me over $200 higher per year than I already pay. Any other good suggestions? This would be for coverage in California.""

Lamborghini insurance for 16 year old?

I know it sounds farfetched but as of right now I'm 14 and have been saving up for a Lamborghini for around 7 years now. I have much more money than I ever expected I would have to be honest and I still have 2 more years of saving before I can get my liscence. So anyway... on to the actual question. I need to know about insurance. How much would it be? I know it's gonna be near impossible for me to get insured but let's just say by chance a company decides to do it. Anyone have any estimates? Or would I be better off waiting till I'm older to purchase the car?

Will auto insurance provider raise my premium rates for filing a claim even if the incident is not my fault?

I just noticed some deep scrapes/scratches on left corner of rear bumper on my Prius after returning from late-night shopping. I was thinking about filing a claim on basis of vandalism, but I heard providers tend to raise rates for filing a claim whether it's my fault or not. I'm just wondering if it'll cost me less in the long run to go for it or just find and go to an auto paint shop directly?""

Will speeding tickets raise your insurance?

I just got a 2 point violation the other day, will this raise the cost of my insurance being that I am only 20?

Colonial Penn Insurance - how big is a UNIT?

The ads and website quote a price like 7.85 per month PER UNIT. I don't know if a unit is $100, $1000, $10000? The phone number quotes the price but ALSO evades the question of how big is a unit. Does anyone know the answer?""

How much does it cost to have regular health insurance for 10 employees?

I am starting a pizza shop and i was wanting to know how much is usually cost for normal health insurance. Also if someone can tell me how much it costs for liability insurance for the store. It is going to be a little caesars pizza. Thanks. -AMV

Where to buy affordable health insurance?

I was forced to retire at the age of 64. I am not eligible for medicare until Sep of 2011. Looking for health insurane I can buy now

What questions should i ask before getting LIFE Insurance?

Im about to get life insurance, but i dont know how it works. What are some questions i should ask the insurance agent before signing any papers? Please help!""

Do you know of any good family health insurance plans for cheap?

I currently work in a hopital and pay only $200/month for insurance. I am pregnant with my 2nd child and thinking of cutting my hours at work to where I could no longer carry their insurance plan. We also own a small business, so my husband doesn't carry the insurance. I only have to work 20 hours a week to keep the insurance at my job, and it has awesome benifits, but I would love to be home after the 2nd baby is born. What do you think? Should I keep my insurance at work or any better ideas?""

""If i activate the speed limiter on my car, do you think my insurance would be cheaper?""

I have a 1.6 citroen c2 vts, and my insurance is pretty pricey. It has a speed limiter, and i've heard about this before. If i tell my insurance company i have limited the car to 70mph do you think it would be cheaper?""

What is the absolute cheapest auto insurance out there?

Where can i get it the cheapest!? online or not. i dont care of all these extra benefits just basic full coverage insurance. I havent picked a car out yet but want to find cheapest first. im 19, male with a few traffic violations. also i am in the military if there are any good sites that have a discount. i have been researching and researching and no luck, please help!""

How much does an apartment insurance in New York cost?

What would it roughly cost to have a half million dollar apartment insuranced in New York, a month?""

Do I need SR22 insurance after a DWI 1st offense if my license is not suspended in the state of Louisiana?

About a year ago, I received my first DWI. I plead guilty under Article 894, and then about 3-4 months later, I contacted the DMV here in Louisiana, and they stated my license has not been suspended, and never was. Now, I am trying to get insurance on my truck I just bought, and the insurance company is telling me i have to get SR22 insurance. I thought SR22 insurance was needed when either your license was suspended previously, or you were forced to get a hardship license? I have never had to do either, and I don't understand why they are requesting me to get the SR22 insurance. The rates are already high enough with the DWI on my record, and the SR22 will be adding a good bit more. Just curious if someone can explain this to me about Louisiana and insurance which is required of me. I do still have a valid Class A CDL, not suspended, and never had to get a hardship license.""

I am 20 years old. How do I get affordable health insurance?

I feel hopeless. I was diagnosed with genital warts, and I need to get them surgically removed but I need health insurance or else it'll cost me an arm and a leg. I'm so confused and I am panicking. I don't even know where to start. What do I do? I am about to move out of my mom's house in a little under 2 weeks and my mom doesn't have health insurance either.""

Does anyone of a very cheap and affordable health insurance that covers dermatology?

do you?

I was in a car accident with no insurance.?

It was a minor accident no injuries and my insurance ran out 3 days before the accident, i have got insurance again but The person I was in an accident with is taking me to court to try and get $2800 for the damages. Now I know his vehicle is not worth more than $1000. Could that mean that I can pay the price that the car books for and then he will have to give me the title, like insurance companies do?""

Gerber life insurance company?

is this even worth doing has anyone ever done this...i need feed back and ideas i have a one year old little boy and i want him to have something to fall back on when he gets older, weather its college or whatever The insurance says they can cash it out for the premium. So should i sign up or just get him a savings account?""

""NJ car accident, not my fault ,no insurance?

On 10/27/11 I had a car accident where a driver ran a red light because she was looking at her GPS (she stated); The car is not mine it is my boyfriends and I didn't know that his ...show more

What Cars Have the Best Car Insurance Rates?

What Cars Have the Best Car Insurance Rates?

Whats the cheepest car on insurance for a 17 year old and how much?

whats the cheepest car on insurance for a 17 year old and how much

Is there anything I can do in to lower my insurance (17 Year old)?

Okay right now I'm 16; I've passed my theory test and when I turn 17 in April I'll be able to start lessons and take a test. My mum is giving me her Peugeot 206, X reg, 1.4L engine. It has never had an issue. I've looked at insurance quotes (for a full license under the assumption that I am 17) and on compare sites and the lowest quote I've found is around 2800 a year, the car will be stored in a garage but I wondered if there is a way to lower this? I hear the average price for a 17 year-old is 1400 a year? If anyone can give me some tips it really would be appreciated; I'm looking to pay monthly if that helps. Also, I'm a guy so obviously that will raise my prices right?""

How much is car insurance for an rx8 in nyc?

I work for EMS n im gonna pay around 16 cash for a 05 rx8 with 30 k miles on it. how much would car insurance b a month ?

""If i get a speeding ticket, will i receive a notice from insurance?

So i got a speeding ticket in CA. I got the ticket in the mail and payed it and am now going to traffic school so that my insurance wont go up. Will the insurance company send me a notice regarding the ticket even if my rates don't go up?

Will my insurance go up if i get a traffic ticket for failing to stop at a stop sign?

what if i just pay the bill will my insurance go up? the thing is just this dec 6 2011 they added two new stop signs in a 4 way intersection before, if you were going north or south you didnt have to stop, and only the people going west and east had to stop its been several months since i passed by there and i just zoomed thru the stop sign and obviously violated the law. i bet im not the only one thats been stopped there im in california btw""

Insurance For Car (New Teen Boy Driver)?

Whats the cheapest way to insure a car while still getting great coverage in case of accidents. I'm getting my license soon and I was wondering whats the cheapest choices for insurance. I heard I can be placed under my parent's account? I also heard that if i pay insurance under my own thing its like 2000... I live in california and i have great grades (if that helps).any insight would be appreciated :)

Do you need motorcycle insurance in Georgia?

do you need motorcycle insurance in Georgia

California auto insurance???

back in may i was driving someone else's car someone backed out of the drive way and hit me minor damage on back bumper. i gave the insurance info of the owner of the car since i didnt have any and it was her fault didnt think it was that big of a deal to do that if it was not my fault i recorded my statement months back but now they want me to re record my statement they said they lost it so giving the insurance of someone else that was not driving is that illigal what kind of trouble can/could i get in to? IF ANY??

Can you get life insurance if your already sick?

I have life insurance, and my children have the gerber grow up plan, but my husband doesn't have any and now he's sick. He's 21 - in case his age matters - he was tested for lymphoblastic leukemia last night - but no results yet. Probably because it's Saturday. If he ends up having this, can he still be approved by life insurance?""

Which credit reporting agency is best for the credit report?

I know that i can get my free credit report once a year, but there are like 3 reporting agencies to chose from. Which of those agencies is most accurate, and gives out the most info? I want one, to show all the negatives thing i might have in order for me to fix them, if there are any.""

Will speeding tickets raise your insurance?

I just got a 2 point violation the other day, will this raise the cost of my insurance being that I am only 20?

How much is car insurance for a new driver?

How much would car insurance cost in BC in a rural area for a 17 year (new driver). Thanks

My car insurance is 6000 and im 17 can anybody help pleeeeeeeeese.?

Hi on average my car insurance is 6000. I got these from price comparison wesbites. I am trying to insure a 2002 1.2 litre Vauxhall Corsa, on Third Party Fire and Theft. I am going to do about 10000 miles a year. I live in Lozells Birmingham United Kingdom. Can anybody get my Insurance done for cheaper. I have shopped around so much, i even put my mum on as main driver but it only gets 500 off my insurance. Can anybody help me maybe anyone that work in car insurance.""

""Can you suggest a good,affordable health insurance plan?""

I am an adjunct instructor at two colleges in Michigan. Neither institution offers health insurance for adjunct instructors. For the last three years I have been getting health Insurance through a postdoctoral fellowship. Now this fellowship has come to an end, and I am in desperate straits. I have heart problems and I need specials medicationss for depression and attention deficit disorder.What do I do?""

Is car insurance cheaper for older cars?

Is car insurance cheaper for older cars?

Guys how much was your car insurance when you first.....?

started driving? Just state: 1. Car 2. How old you was 3. What company you went through 4. How much Thanks a bunch of bananas

How much will my moped insurance be?

if i buy a cheap moped (under 400), use it for only social purposes and keep it locked away in a garage at night, how much do you think it will cosT?""

My health insurance paid for medical bills incurred from a car wreck. Can it come after me for reimbursement?

now I have received a settlement from the car insurance. Can the health insurance now collect the money it paid out . If so how long do they have to request the money form me?

Which to buy?? An Alfa Romeo 147 1.6 lusso or an MG zr 1.4?? They cost the same and insurance is similar. ta.?

Which to buy?? An Alfa Romeo 147 1.6 lusso or an MG zr 1.4?? They cost the same and insurance is similar. ta.?

How much will my insurance raise for 2 points on my license?

I recently got a ticket for failure to stop at a stop sign, I don't know for sure but I'm guessing it's gonna be two points on my license. I have already paid the ticket, I live in georgia, I'm 17, my insurance provider is state farm, I am currently paying $78 a month for only liability, I have no other tickets, but I did get a written warning for 21mph over. Will this warning count as any points or be recorded on my record? Roughly how much do you think my ticket will raise my insurance a month? thank you""

What cheap/affordable/good health insurance company?

what cheap/affordable/good health insurance company?

What is The best Auto Insurance to get?

What is The best Auto Insurance to get?

Car insurance?

i am looking for a decent quote for car insurance, my daughter passed her test in march and we would love to have her on our insurance but theyare asking for so much , i cannot afford it, i have a peugeot 307 o3 , my quote is 1214.85. she is going to UNI in October and really wont be using tthe car any way. any sugggestions would be really appreciated, now and again she would be using the car and she is so good , cannot afford to buy her a car of her own and the insurance would be too much anyway??""

Do I need to have insurance on my leased car even though im not going to use it?

I'm leaving the country and will leave my car in my garage. I will be returning the plates as well. I dont want to pay insurance on a car im not using.

Where to purchase liability insurance for a rental car?

i dont have personal insurance of my own, for am i renting with a credit card. Trying to find place cheaper than the rental car company""

Can I still be on my parent's car insurance if I move to another state?

I've lived in KY all my life and I'm moving to OK. My parents pay my car insurance and all 3 cars are under the same company, etc. Can I still be on under their insurance if I move out of state? I plan on changing my plates, tags, registration, etc to OK. Can I change all that stuff to OK but still be on my parent's insurance who live in KY? Also, do I have to get my title in my name (it's in my dad's name) if I'm moving?""

How much do you pay for car insurance per year?

i pay $3000 a year on car insurance, im 22, female, 3 points on my license and drive a v8 mustang, red. progressive. NJ HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY? please put everything i put above, but for you, survey for college class. thanks for helping!""

Why is my credit ratingscore brought down for getting car insurance quotes?

I'm trying to get auto and renter's insurance and I do not understand why my credit score is brought down because of this. Can't they tell I'm not our trying to get several credit cards or lines of credit or loans? How can this be dealt with and changed or stopped? If this is going to happen, how will my credit look in two years when I am ready to buy a newer vehicle?""

Is there any way to get cheap car insurance for a 17 year old who received a drink driving ban at 16?

im 17, live in the UK and received a DR10 driving conviction (drink driving) at the age of 16 riding a moped, i was banned for 12 months and i was wondering if there is any way at all i can get cheap insurance for a car? this would be my first car, i've done quotes on comparing sites such as 'www.comparethemarket.com'. Please no stupid answers telling me im an idiot for drink driving, i know what ive done and i know im stupid for it, can anyone help me? decent answers appreciated :)""

Who the best auto insurance that dont cost too much?

Who the best auto insurance that dont cost too much?

How do you renew you social insurance card?

my boyfriend lost his social insurance card and he would like a new one...how does he go about getting one and how much does it cost?

Are there any Uk car insurance sites whose multiple car insurance quotes actually do work out cheaper than?

separate for each car

Which company offers the best priced automotive insurance? I have a teenage driver and the rates are killing!

I have seen many ads for GEICO but I do not know anyone that has tried them. I currently have PROGRESSIVE but do not think I am getting a great rate with them.

What kind of life insurance is best?

My wife and I are both working and we have a baby now, I'm thinking of getting life insurance, but have no clue where to start. There seems to be a bunch of options...and advice/suggestions on how to get started? Thanks.""

Is there any way a 16 year old minor can get car insurance in his own name in SC?

From what I have read it seems like all I have to do is get my parents permission to get my own plan in my name and that's it. And if you can please give me some car insurance agencies that will give minors car insurance. thank you

Why is a five door car cheaper to insure than a 3 door car?

My father got a quote for a 5 door 1995 ford fiesta yesterday for 240. The previous car was also a fiesta of the same year and same engine but was a 3 door which cost 340 per year. We have had a 5 door ford fiesta before but that cost 340 per year as well, but the engine was the same and it was the same year. Why the difference in insurance cost between 3 and 5 doors?""

Will speeding tickets raise your insurance?

I just got a 2 point violation the other day, will this raise the cost of my insurance being that I am only 20?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-auto-insurance-company-gives-you-various-rates-aliza-hausauer"

[survivorandalucia]

“Wokest Bitch of the West”- Petra

I'm fucking quitting why did you have to cast these fucking people

OMG I made it and it's started and I'm soooo ready

RHONE ! Bless.

i love men that means im not a lesbian

Ohhh bitch i am here! I was legit just having a mental brake down and now im here. Ohh boy!!! Im so excited to be here and now im seeing Amanda again! But me geting jenna out and willa ohh boy! Im gonna have to talk to willa and hopefully jenna isn't so harsh this time around! Ah im so excited i just hope im not a pre-juror boot because im going to be so emotional this game and hopefully play a villainous card!

toby marlow is sexy as fuck what the mhell

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!!! So far, not much has happened which can be good or bad. I'm a bit nervous to be playing with returnees being on the other tribe because they might be better at immunity challenges than us. I'm a bit nervous about Pine Boy being in this game because I heard that he's really good. So far I like Toph (Azores buddy <3), Sultana, Jacob, and Nick. Nick came to me right away and said he liked me and wanted an alliance with me. I was like sure!!! Who would I be to decline an alliance? An idiot, that's what I would be. I'm wondering how we're going to do idol hunting on this season and I hope we find out soon. I want to redeem myself from my Azores mess. That reminds me, Toph being here can be really bad for both of our games. If anyone know what Azores is, they know that I gave Toph my idol. They know that we were close, which can be really bad for our games. If people look at Azores and assume that we're still close (which we are), we're fucked in the long run. I love writing confessionals, I missed that in Azores. Sure, we had Ponderosa confessionals, but I wanted to talk more game shit in there. Another thing that I'm worried about: If Toph read my in-game confessionals during Azores, he knows that I'm reluctant to play by his side again. Or, if he has a brain, he can infer it from that. Hopefully, this wont all blow up in my face. I can't wait for the shit show to start after the immunity challenge.

I really am gonna have to fight the hosts

Not letting me idol search and putting me on this tribe. There is only ONE girl on my tribe. And rhone and the boys. I hate men fuck you all. Also Jake being on my tribe when he has the personality of a dead foot yikes. I hate this tribe i hate this game. Get me my shit i wanna leave now. 

Except jordan pines and daniel they cool.

Heyo! The name’s Johnny, from Survivor: India, the guy who went through only two tie votes in his seasons, and I guess I’m ready to swing at the sandbags again. I’m glad to be back and hopefully I don’t fall in the pits that I fell in last time. I’m not settling for premerge this time ‘round. So this tribe is definitely a lot bigger & badder than I expected. Lots of personalities, lots of players, and a shit ton of self-professed “bitches”, “villains”, and whatnot. I just want to survive a while in here so I’m ready to slap on the under-the-radar happy tribe mascot sticker. But of course, the twist is revealed. I tried for the advantage but as always, my luck runs dry and I’m beaten to it. Figured Jordan Pines had it and right I was - dude won immunity. Lucky fella. Oh well, better him than ~some~ people, because at least he probably won’t want me gone first. I’ve also had some decent chats with Issy & Daniel, a bit o’ back-and-forth with Chris, and barely anything with Jake, Isaiah, and LA. And Adrian & Rhone, as far as I know, is a no-show so far. I do know Adrian though, so hopefully that gives me some brownie points! Now we’re gonna go on a tribe call and if there’s anything I know about myself, I’m both awkward and quiet on large calls so… hopefully I leave a decent impression.

So the tribe call just ended with the understanding that a second one would start, and guess what didn’t happen? It does feel a smidgen shady so hopefully there isn’t some chat without me already made because THAT would suck. After the call, though, Jake comes to me all desperate asking “We’re good right? I won’t vote you.” Dang, this guy moves quick. He asks me what I want to do and when I say wait it out for a little bit, he says “Good plan, low key wanna help the tribe.” Mate, simmer down, no need to jump on the gameplay horse so quick. I feel like he has some bad connection with someone, but I’m just not quite sure who that’d be. I know nothing about Tumblr connections, sadly. I trust Jordan right now - not too much, of course, I’ve heard how good he is at this stuff - but I’ll give him a little info and hope he reciprocates. I just wanna live until I reach a point where I can go full India mode and explode onto the scene. We’ll have to see if I can suffer through this tribe, first… I’ll just suffer well.

GUESS WHO WON IMMUNITY PEEPS ANYWAYS so since im at least surviving 1 tribal i have time to build relationships with these people, i've been talking to amanda and she's cool, and atm im on call with jacob/toph/peyton and im waiting for someone to add me to an alliance because im so talented

Everything seems pretty tame but since there is a tribal coming up, that scares me. I like Madison, Taylor, Sultana, Toph, Jacob, and Nick as of now. I'm going to watch the videos right now to see where people's heads are at right now. If I can do that, I'll be able to get a better read on everyone. Hopefully, that will help me with figuring out who to vote out. I'll pray for the best while reading Animal Farm.

CONFESSIONAL: This is my first time in tumblr survivor history that I will be present at the premiere of the season. Pretty fucking excited. I'm like a survivor noob when it comes to the premiere. I've always been gone during it so this is my first premiere ever! I am hoping my 2nd and 1st place finishes don't put a early target on my back. I just need to make sure the tribe views me as an asset as opposed to a threat CONFESS: i think my status will help me. it says something about depression i think people will like that and that should be a convo starter

so me being the little bean that i am decided to have everyone join the call and now im an alliance called the "core fore" i mean like its me Payton, madison, and Jacob! okay that was just some basic ass info. here's my thoughts on everyone else! Amanda sledge: the only person i will trust in this game. she played an idol on me in Azores and if that isn't trust i don't know what else is. Payton: he seems ok, i mean he kinda seems Plainer then Rasin Bran but i mean her has a goat farm and litty. Madison: she seems woke and i would like to work with her given her immunity win and letting everything happen with this alliance already taylor: i mean he seems ok. But like he just got on call so ill keep you posted on him. Sultana: a woke ass queen! i really wanna work with her she seems super funny and chill and like a queen of everything she dose like harassing her mom for food! i would love to work with her will she wants too as well! the others: they have said nothing so like ima try and get one of them out now or payton. dfjbndofb Ok so currently i'm in about 2 alliances! Amanda, nick and myself are in one alliance. meanwhile i'm in an alliance with  Jacob, Payton, and Madison together so like i have no idea if this is good or not because i don't wanna be caught so i feel like i need to tell Amanda so she dose not get mad and i can work with her! I really have no clue on what is going to happen. I don't want to trust anyone yet because tomorrow we will see were the lines will be drawn. I am like 50% that someone inactive will be voted off. but not if i have anything to say about that! I want payton out because i feel like he is dry and kinda basic. after all i will try and be the villain of the season oops! i honestly really like Petra though and think shes very chill and interesting. lets hope she feels the same way. i'm hoping i can just stay calm for now and then go and cry about it latter. i honestly am very hungry right now though like i ugh. Ok that is besides the point. But i feel like i need to bring my paranoid level up to like a ten because i can't trust none of these bitches or i'm gonna be scared as hell. my ears are open to everything and i have a google docs open and im ready to kill some people. 

So at the beginning of the game, me and Amanda talked alot and decided to team up. Then Amanda was good friends with Toph. So then we formed a three person alliance. While we were on call, me Amanda, Toph and Suitana formed an alliance. The twist was announced that both tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope I am not first out but I got a solid 4 person alliance called the Wig Snatchers with them.

I feel like I'm the least extra person here and some of them I think don't like that I'm not super extra

ok idk who 2 vot cuz im just a woke ass bitch and like i havent come across anyone that im rly annoyed with xcept payt TBH hes just awkward and like totally denies my humor via not laughing and everyones talking about this person called jenna they had tea drama with or smth so im like O _ O

I love being on tribe calls because late at night is when alliances are made! I'm currently in an alliance with Petra, Nick, and Toph (Seamus too). We don't have the majority yet, but I like Jacob and Madison. I hope they will vote Jenna with us. I heard nothing but bad things about her from Toph and she seemed cool, but I think right now it's our best option to get her out since she has no wifi at the moment.

Hey everyone, first confessional. I have not played in one of these games in a very long time so I feel very rusty. Anyway, this double tribal twist could really mess up my game but I can't worry about that at the moment. My plan is watch my tribemates videos and try to find common ground. I know Poteet is really embarrassed about going out premerge, and I went premerge too so we can talk about that. I need to take it one step at a time.

I have gained the trust of a good amount of the tribe, and they all are just kinda doing what I say, so i feel like i have some power suddenly. Not saying I'm on the path the a villain but we'll see what happens.

i want to die

Joy, oh joy. I wake up this morning (if 11:30 AM is considered morning) with Jake being the only message to me and I think, THAT can't be a good sign. So he reiterates him wanting to work with me, yadda yadda, badda bing, and says that he values we have history. I'm pretty sure our history is just like one or two Skype minis so unless I'm forgetting something, ripperoni. He also tells me he's "heard a few names floating around" but when I asked him who it was, no response. Go figure. Luckily, Chris Stoner messages me and tells me that as of now Jake is the vote (I'm assuming from the mind of Jordan Pines) so at least I have some solace there. I don't think I'll be going at the end of the day, but there's still the very real fear that my head's on the chopping block, and I don't want to be lynched tonight, nosiree.

So while my video confessional is uploading, it seems like I got Taylor's vote to get Jenna out! I'm really excited to not be the first boot, honestly. I'm sad though because she never got to send me pictures of her kittens. Maybe if I keep her she'll show me! Anyways, how's your day? My mom broke our snapchat streak and it's quite disappointing... like I came out of your vagina and you're going to treat me like this?? Oop my video confessional uploaded here it is in all its (not) glory!

So Jake said that Rhone had suggested Issy (due to their beef from another game, pretty sure it was a wiki game I viewed lmao) or Chris to go home. I found this a little bit fishy but then again I've found most of what Jake's been doing to be fishy. However Jake seems to think it'll be Issy going which is convenient. I also hopped on a call with Jordan Pines and we traded a bit of info - I'm not going to give him EVERYTHING persay (I've been told many stories about him so best to tread lightly) but luckily he gave me some. Jake had randomly made an alliance chat with Jordan and Rhone last night without informing either of them and both distrusted it. Jordan wants to keep some sorta secret information sharing pact between the two of us and I'm game, but I need to make sure he trusts me so I still have to actually give him credible tales. I've just gotta stay on his good side for now and be the nice, honest fella on the tribe. That'll keep me afloat until the swap (which seems like it'll be an auxillary situation. How fun). I do like Isaiah and Adrian a bit and I wouldn't mind working with those two, it'd be nice to get something rolling along with em. We'll have to see, though, because I'm not sure how social Adrian's been so far. As of now, our first boot should be Jake. Let's just hope we can stay strong and not lose to those meddlesome newbies.

I'm not going to lie... I'm a bit nervous. A tribal shouldn't be going this smoothly  unless there's something going on in the background. Dear god, let this work out. I will write more after tribal is over, I'm just too nervous right now. 

[kleyaaa]

PLEASE DO NOT READ. PLEASE. IM BEING SERIOUS. ITS MY BIRTHDAY. WILLYOU GIVE THAT TO ME AS A GIFT? PLEASE. DONT READ THIS. :)

Ahhh soooo hmmmmm if you arent into dramas, emotional, depressing thoughts then i suggest that you stop reading this right now cuz im about to start something deep, something emotional

Its 11:47pm, 13 minutes before 12. Wow. I did the math right? Right? 13! Yep i love that show! Where did you cry? I cried at the beginning of episode 12. Where Hannah picked her phone and called Clay. Remember she put the bag on top of the car? And that moment, when she called Clay. Its fckd up! I have to stop! I felt i know what will happen next! I stopped! Not even kidding! I pause it. Went to the bathroom and cried. I dont even know why the heck i was crying. I just cried! But dont worry i finished it. I have too! Anyway. I dont know where to start.

I actually want to write this on my other account. Cuz i dont want people to be annoyed about this because some human in this world doesnt unfortunately understand depression, suicide or the feeling of being alone or left alone or someone who dont have someone.

But hey if i do that, hide and just be scared then im weak. So here i am :) that is why theirs a note at the beginning so that YOU HAVE A CHOICE anyway okay im gonna start now

Tomorrow is my birthday. Yey! Another day of fakesht. Some will post things about me. Good things about me. “Memories” we had. They will say they loved me, that they will be there for you always. That they are thankful to have you in their lives. Mygoodness. Im done with that. Done with that shts. Im sorry but i do not feel the way you guys think. I dont feel im appreciated enough. I dont feel the loved. I dont. Sorry.

Imma tell you a story about. Im not pleasing you guys to believe me that this is me. One who will always supports you. One who will be there for you whenever you need me. One who will tell exactly everything you wanna know. Im quite frank. I mean i say things straightly. Im that girl who will do everything for others. Who pleases people. Who tried a lot of times to be the number but always failed. Im nice. As much as possible i want to understand others. I want to love everyone. I hate wars. I hate discrimination. Colors or gender. Social status. Im open to everything and anything. I wont judge you if you are gay. If you are poor or fcked up kid. I wont. I will never ever. As much as possible, i dont wanna judge. Cuz man i dont know what the heck they are going through. I dont know the reason why she is wearing high heels and a leather jacket in the middle of sun rays. I dont know the reasons behind those smiles, those tears. I dont know anything.

I started being like, person who is as-much-as-possible-do-not-judge-people-base-on-what-my-eyes-can-see back in 2012 and beginning of 2013. Dont worry ill past forward things. Those years, i experience depression. I want to kill myself. I always cry. In the middle of the night. Those years the only thing i know is phone. Phone helped me a lot to somehow forget things. Those times im alone. Like no one is there for me or with me. Even parents. I was asking why the heck im into this. Im sooooo nice. Why the heck this is happening to me. What i have done to deserve this?

If you havent felt the feeling of suicidal. If you havent thought to kill yourself. If you havent try to kill yourself. The you wont understand. No. Depression is not just a “thing” that could passby. No. its not a joke. Its not a joke when you want to kill yourself because you feel that is the only way to end pain. That is the only option to stop sadness. If you never felt that feeling. If you havent thought using of knife to end your life while you are washing the dishes. Then you wouldnt understand.

Depression for me is fighting your self. You against yourself. The only way to get out of this is you, you have to figure it out on how you will fight againts your thoughts, those emotions, those negativities. You drown yourself on your on pool. It is a bit insensitive to say. I know sorry. But that is the definition i came up because that is my case. I wasnt bullied. No. at some point yes. But that is not the reason why felt suicidal. Its being alone and left alone. The feeling of you thought you have friends but you really do not have. Thats the reason why i wanted to kill myself. I love them. My friends. I truly love them. I treasure them. But the feeling is not mutual. They were smiling in front of you but guess what they are talking about you being so overreacting all the time. Being so weird. They stab you at the back. Loved you in the front.

That was back in 2012 and 2013. When i found that out. I stopped for a while. I was defeated for few days. But i said no. They wont win. Ill do what the fck i want to do. Fck them! Who cares! They are not happy with their lives thats why they look outside to make their feelings better.

Past forward. 2017. I thought everything is fine. I thought im done with those kind of stuffs. I thought i have “friends” now. Or at least someone i could talk to. But heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. Nope. You havent. It feels weird actually. I really do thought im done with that. Feeling of being left alone. I really do thought im done. Its so weird im experiencing this again.

I chatted someone to see if that person cares about me cuz i really do care about her. I chatted her. She saw it. And didnt respond. Hmmm okay. I left the group chat to see if someone do care and chat me nice things or convince me or will try to help me. But no one. I posted something, like “stop caring to those who dont care about you” something like that not exactly okay. I wanted to see if someone or some of them will try to ask me if im okay. Or is there something wrong.

No. Nah. Not a single word from the people i was expecting to do something. That something matters to me cuz if someone did that something. At least i know i have one. I have someone.

But no one did.

Their silence kills me. Non response breaks my heart.

You know what hurts me the most? When they need me. Im there! Whenever they feel down. Dude! Im there to tell them theyre not alone. When they need a support. Im there! If i see them sad or alone. Im there! Im fck here. For them. But they are not. And i dont feel they will. They will someone be there for me. Its hard to explain. But i really do not feel like, they love me or they do appreciate me or they are there for me. No. i dont.

That is why i asked myself. Am i demanding? Am i not worthy? Am i expecting too much from them? Am i asking for more? Am i not being appreciative of their actions?

Am i selfish?

I dont feel i get what i deserve. I dont feel enough love. Im sorry

Im so sorry. I really dont.

That is why i decided to stop loving you guys. To stop caring about you and being rhere for you. Any of you.

I told you depressionn for me is fighting againts yourself. Yep i stand by that. But, a lift from ONE friend can help a lot. You dont need the world to fight with you. No. its your battle but a little help will help a lot. It could do so much things. All you need is one friend. Just one. ONE THAT WILL LISTEN TO YOU AND WONT JUDGE YOU. ONE WHOS OPEN TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SITUATION AND CAN UNDERSTAND YOU. JUST ONE.

2012 or 2017. I dont have one.

But there are 4 people who is still there for me on times i need someone. Im so sorry guys if i dont consider you as the one. Hahaahaha! If in case in the future you guys see this. Chesca my lovely chef. Diego my face of the night. Kezia my mentor my spiritual adviser my somehow everything kasi you always give me reason to breath again hahahaha and Rhea… yep youre here too. On the list. Wow hahahaha i mean on the list of people i should be thankful and whatever happen nanjan pa rin sila. Bukod sa pinautang mo ko. I felt the sincerity. Yung buong pusong tulong. I felt that with you when i needed money. I did not felt na may utang na loob ako sayo. You are sincere when you were helping. And i will never forget that.

Okaaaaayyyy where the heck am i?

Im lost. Ang haba kasi. Hahahaha! Its soooo long. I dont know if someone can survive on this longgggg emotional post hahahahaha

Its 1:02am

My birthday wish is i hope we can all have someone with us. Just one. One who will be there until our breath. It could be your future wife or husband. I dont know. But i really wish. We could all have the one. We deserve one. Everyone deserve one!

And be nice!

Your “hey are you okay? You can talk to me!” Could save a life!

And if you guys will ask… hmmmm how am i dealing with this sht again. I HAVE GOD :) well im still asking for someone cuz i want to have like a physical contact. Like i can call in the middle of the night and talk about non sense things. You know physical contact? Love you Lord! Dont hate me! Hahahaha!

But right now since i dont have someone, i have God, i can talk to and phone. Tumblr! Duuuhhh! I can write a book in here! Hahahaha!

Deep sigh I dont feel like i gave the message i wanted even though its like 134 pages now hahahaha ALL IN ALL. DONT BE A DICK. DONT BE A RUDE. BE NICE. BE OPEN. DONT JUDGE. HELP OTHERS. APPRECIATE PEOPLE. SPREAD LOVE. KINDNESS. AND TO THOSE WHOS SUFFERING SADNESS RIGHT. HEY! DO NOT STOP BREATHING OKAY? YOU CAN DO THIS YOU WILL WIN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! GO FIND SOMETHING THAT COULD HELP YOU GET THROUGH THIS. GO BASKETBALL OR VOLLEYBALL OR PLAY PIANO OR LEARN ABOUT VOLCANOS IDUNNO JUST STAY BREATHING!!!! PLEASE!!!! FIND SOME INSPIRATION. YOUR IDOL!!! Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato!!! I dont know!!! Just, stay breathing okay? Okay? Promise me! I love you! And i love myself. Eventhough im fck up sometimes. And i love life eventhough sometimes it punches me right in the face. AND I LOVE GOD. EVENTHOUGH SEMANA SANTA IS ALWAYS ON MY BIRTHDAY! Love You Lord! :* Love you everyone! -eya