bananas-for-bananas

[feelingpure]

Grateful that Hawk transitioned from "hanging around a bunch of queers" in the 1950s, "guys like you" re Skippy 1960s, "homosexual" in the 1970s, guess he would say he is "gay" after what he told his daughter about Tim. Grateful for personal growth.

Watching the personal growth of both characters has been really interesting, for different reasons. And how they influenced each other's growth. 🥹

But Hawk's battle with/rejection of who he is was something that stuck out in the 60s/70s era. When Tim replied to him "you mean men like us" in the E6 post-shower scene, and how he responded to the whole homosexual vs gay thing in E7. It highlighted how Hawk tried for so long to remove/distance himself from others of the same sexuality.

And I wonder how much of it was sub-conscious, and how much was conscious self preservation. He was quite calculated about a lot of things, so I'm sure most were fully conscious (like the 70s convo). But after rejecting it for himself for so long, some comments were probably just said as a reflex without much thinking.

Him being honest and open with his daughter in those last moments of E8 felt like a breakthrough. It's of course really heart breaking that that didn't happen earlier on, but I'm also really grateful for his journey. ❤️

There are many times I want to grab Hawk by the shoulders and shake him while crying, but then other times I do wanna reach out and just hug him. 🥺

[wickedlittleoz]

Can I request one of the five word prompts? I would love to read your take on “how about a hug, hm?” Only if it isn't too much of a hassle or to late. Thanks for all your amazing work! And I hope your Laptop won't die! Stuff like that just sucks!

you can request whatever you’d like, whenever ❤ thank you so much for your ask and the kind words! my laptop is still holding strong as of now XD

(Also on AO3)

.

He’s pissed. It’s not cute.

You see, he wasn’t supposed to get called out this morning. He’s minding his business lately, driving the bratt around, working, earning his money. He’s got a pretty pile of acceptance letters and a couple scholarship offers, which is more than a lot of the other graduates can say.

He’s been a wonderful son, really.

But leave it to Neil to get upset over the most mundane things and take it out on him. Right on the day he has a date.

And not just any date. Billy’s had plenty of dates since they moved into Hawkins, he’s been with many girls in school (and, mind you, some of the guys, too). But none of those compare to tonight.

Tonight he’s gonna be seeing Steve Harrington.

He’s been crazy about Harrington since day 01, at Tina’s party. That girlfriend of his never fooled Billy; his eyes were way too honest and they were always starving when he looked at Billy.

He wonders if Neil somehow found out, because what other explanation could there be to how he literally just stomped into Billy’s bedroom that morning and went You forgot to take out the fucking trash!—with a bonus of fists—when it was really Max’s turn to take it out.

But anyway, now he’s ruined everything, the fact that Billy went and got a hair trim to make his curls look fuller for this date, or how he’s been doing extra laps at the pool after closing hours since they agreed to dinner at Harrington’s tonight.

Cleaning up the split lip in front of the mirror, Billy considers canceling the date. But he doesn’t want to give Neil the pleasure, nor does he want the old man to listen as he cancels on a guy, so he decides he can at least pretend to go. He can drive around town for a couple hours and then tomorrow he’ll go to the mall with the excuse of dropping Max and talk to Harrington.

With that set in mind, he can almost ignore the creepy way his dad stares from the front porch when he drives off into the night.

It’s only been about an hour that he’s been sitting by himself at the quarry when a car approaches. Billy goes for the pocketknife he keeps in the glove compartment, but before he plucks it out, he hears a hesitant, faint voice call his name.

And he would recognize that voice anywhere.

With a heavy sigh, he gets off the car and meets Harrington.

“What you doing here?” Harrington asks, concern in the crease of his brow and so much doubt in his bambi eyes that even in the dark, Billy feels like shit for standing him up.

“I, uh…” He looks away when Harrington steps closer, but a hand finds his jaw and forces him to looks forward. “I had a thing,” he says because it’s safer than admitting.

Harrington is frowning at him, his thumb brushes Billy’s split lip and he inhales sharply.

“What happened?” Harrington asks softly and he starts to look for more bruises and marks on Billy’s face and arms.

But Billy’s pissed and it isn’t cute. He pulls his hands back and pushes him away.

What Harrington doesn’t understand is that doesn’t know how to open up and he hates affection—hates it because since his mom went away, he’s known zero of it.

“None of your fucking business, pretty boy,” he snarls, spinning around and walking away while lighting up a cigarette.

Harrington follows him, though, grabs him by the shoulder and steps in front of him again. His lips are pursed tightly, but there’s no anger in his eyes. He’s honestly concerned, like a goddamn mother hen that has this need to care for people.

“I guess it is my business, Billy, because we had a date.” He has a point, but Billy won’t give him that, nor will he ever mention how the use of his first name makes him feel. “If it wasn’t for Max–”

Right, of course Maxine had to go and make gossip. “That fucking bitch–”

“Stop it.” Harrington’s tone is suddenly firm and he can’t not obey. “She told me you and your dad had a fight. Is that why you didn’t show up? Because you thought I’d care that you’re hurt? I—I mean, I do care, but not for the reasons you think—”

He hates affection. Hates it because he doesn’t know how to accept it. Hates it because he doesn’t know how to return it.

His anger flares up again and before he knows, “Shut the fuck up, Harrington, you don’t know shit about me, alright?”

There’s a pause. The sounds of leaves rustling and the water bellow them helps calm him down.

This isn’t Harrington’s fault, but he wouldn’t know how to apologize or how to direct his anger to who really deserves it. He can’t direct it to who deserves it.

So he does the same as Neil does, takes it out on blameless people. He’s ruining his chances with the boy of his fucking dreams, but he doesn’t know how to be better.

“Billy.” The voice is soft, a murmur. He looks up. “How about a hug, hm?“ 

There are tears in his eyes; he cries when he’s angry. It isn’t pretty and it isn’t masculine, and his dad has told him that a number of times.

Billy is honestly so exhausted of all the things Neil has ruined for him. He can’t let him ruin this one, too.

"Yeah, a hug sounds good,” he whispers brokenly and allows himself to be embraced. 

[lordofthenerds97]

Books and Baseball Bats

Prompt: 11. “I’m sorry, were you sleeping?” by @hargrovesprincess​ Rating: T+ Word Count: 6,590 Pairing: Billy Hargrove/Reader AN: I have no idea what happened with this...I had two sweet little fic ideas that just sort of turned into this monster...enjoy!!

You have no idea how you managed it, but you had caught the attentions of the new King of Hawkins. You couldn’t believe it, but Billy Hargrove had suddenly taken an interest in you.

You had first noticed it about three weeks ago. You were standing in front of your locker, putting books back and grabbing the appropriate ones when you felt eyes on you. Shrugging it off, you didn’t pay much attention to the thought. But when the locker door closed and you turned to walk towards your History class, Billy was leaning against his own locker, watching you curiously with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

Trying to keep the utter shock off your face, you sent him a curt smile and a nod before hugging your books to your chest and walking away. You could feel his eyes watching you the entire time you walked away, and the hair on the back of your neck began to stand up.

 “Snap out of it, Y/N,” you muttered to yourself.

What surprised you even more was that he kept watching you. During class, at lunch, in the hallways, as you walked to your car in the parking lot, even at the arcade when he dropped off and picked up his sister. 

It confused you to no end.

You weren’t what people would call ‘beautiful’. Heck, you didn’t even think you were pretty. For as long as you could remember, you were always heavier than the other girls in your school. Your mother was tall and slim, as was your father. You weren’t sure where you inherited your figure, but you didn’t complain about it. Sure, it had bothered you at first. Your hips were fuller, your thighs were thicker, your stomach wasn’t as flat as other girls, and your chest was a compliment to the rest of your body. You weren’t fat by any means, but when you first started high school, you thought so. And thanks to the other girls, you believed it for a while. You had tried everything you could think of, including almost starving yourself, to thin out. But the only thing your efforts had produced was hardened muscle instead of soft skin.

Your legs became toned, able to support you for hours of running. Your stomach, though not entirely flat, was toned with a thin outline of abs.

And you had learned to embrace your size. You knew what you were capable of even if others didn’t. And you were proud of it. 

Through your high school years, you could count the number of dates you had been on with one hand. The thought didn’t bother you, as you had more things to worry about than dating and hooking up. You didn’t think the world revolved around guys. You thought you had an actual purpose in life, something better to accomplish than getting laid every weekend. Truth be told, you weren’t even interested in hooking up with anyone.

But you were rapidly becoming the center of attention at Hawkins High. People had noticed that you gained Billy’s interest, therefore you warranted everyone else’s interest as well. They wanted to know what it was about you that had Billy Hargrove so interested in the quiet and subtle Y/N Y/L/N.

You hummed to yourself as you walked towards your locker, absentmindedly listening to your friend Cindy ramble on about her plans for the weekend. It was only Tuesday, but everyone was already making plans for the weekend parties. 

“Honestly, Cindy, I don’t understand what you see in Tommy.” you cut in as she started going off about Tommy H, one of the boys who constantly hung around Billy. He was her newest obsession and she didn’t seem to be letting him go any time soon. “Besides, isn’t he dating Carol?” 

Cindy shrugged as she popped a bright pink bubble from the gum she had been chewing. “Dating is a relative term with Tommy.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like every other pig in this town.” you muttered.

She raised an eyebrow at you. “You know, Y/N, I think I figured out what you need.”

“Do tell.”

“You need to get laid.”

You snorted at the suggestion, giving her a look as you shut your locker door. “Come on, Cindy. Don’t encourage my mother to keep trying to set me up. I’m perfectly happy by myself.”

She rolled her eyes in response. “Whatever. Are you coming with me on Friday night?”

“To what?”

“Remy’s party. Duh.”

A groan escaped your lips as you looked pleadingly at your best friend. The social scene of parties wasn’t exactly your speed. You would prefer to be at home with a good book. Heck, you would even take babysitting the party with Steve over going to a party. But it didn’t look like she was going to give you a choice. But before you could answer, another voice chimed in, coming from behind you.

“Yeah, Y/N. You going to Remy’s party?”

The deep, husky tone sent a chill rocketing down your spine and you turned slightly to see Billy leaning against a row of lockers behind you. He smirked at you as you turned, his eyes lighting up with mischief. You already knew that Cindy’s jaw was on the floor without even looking at her.

“Hi, Billy.” you said smoothly, ignoring the shock that was coursing through your veins. “I don’t know. Kegs and drunk idiots aren’t really my style.”

He let out a quiet chuckle, silently appraising you as you spoke. “Then what is your style, honey?” The words dripped from his lips like honey and you felt your stomach flip.

You raised an eyebrow. “Books and baseball bats.”

Billy looked at you with curiosity. “Interesting.”

You simply shrugged. “You asked. 

The first time you had an encounter with a baseball bat, you were supposed to be babysitting Will Byers. Joyce had given you a key to the house and the lights were all off when you got out there. She had told you that Jonathan was out of town and Steve wasn’t available. But as soon as you walked in the door, you were assaulted with the swing of a nail filled bat. Steve had apologized profusely for that and left you even more confused as Will dragged you along with the party to fight dog like creatures.

And ever since then, you always carried a bat that matched Steve’s in the trunk of your car.

Billy flashed a grin at you. “Well, I hope to see you there, sweetheart. You won’t regret it if you come.” And without another word, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving you and Cindy to your own devices.

When you turned back around, you gently knocked Cindy’s mouth closed and rolled your eyes, grabbing your bag and keys, getting ready to leave.

“Did we just experience the same thing?” she asked incredulously as she hurriedly followed you out of the school.

“Pretty sure we did.” you responded.

“You’ve got to go, Y/N!”

“Why, exactly do I have to do that?”

Cindy just stared at you with a disbelieving look. “We’ve gotta do something about this attitude of yours.”

Friday night rolled around, and you still had no intention of showing up to the party.                                                   ________________

“You can’t expect me to fall all over myself when he bats his eyelashes at me, Cindy!” you exclaimed, walking around your room. You had to hold the phone away from your ear as she practically shrieked at you.

“Y/N, do you even realize what’s happening?”

You rolled your eyes. “Billy’s trying to play mind games with me, Cindy. And I’m not gonna let him. Contrary to what he thinks, he’s not everything I want in a man. 

Your best friend let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. But you should still come.”

“That’s defeating the purpose of me not seeing Billy.”

“But I need a wingwoman!” she whined.

“You’ll be fine, Cindy. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“I missed you Friday night, Y/N,”                                                  ________________

You suppressed another shiver as you heard his voice behind you. You had to remind yourself that he was after one thing, and you weren’t about to give it to him. There was no way you were going to play his game. 

“Sorry, Billy.” you responded coolly, putting a couple books into your locker. It wasn’t even nine yet, and he was already breathing down your neck. “I had something better to do.”

He chuckled, the sound rumbling from his chest. You took a quiet, deep breath to steel yourself before turning around. You weren’t going to deny that he was attractive. Because he was. But you knew what he wanted from you. Through a bit of digging over the weekend, you discovered that you were one of the few Senior girls that had managed to resist his charm. And gauging from his reactions, he didn’t like people resisting him.

“Awe, come on, Y/N.”

You shrugged. “I told you that parties weren’t my style.”

He glanced at the two books you shoved into your bag. “What’s your first class today? 

Raising an eyebrow, you glanced up at him. “Algebra II. Which if you ask me, is a cruel first class on Monday morning.”

He chuckled and nodded his agreement. “That’s mine too.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re lying.”

“How do you know?” he asked indignantly. 

“You’re never in the class. Not once since the beginning of the year have I seen you step foot into my Monday Algebra class.”

Billy raised an eyebrow. “So you’ve been looking for me, then?”

“I think I would’ve noticed if an ego as big as yours walked into a classroom I was in. It would be suffocating.” 

He laughed at your abrupt humor. Though he had to admit, he liked your sarcasm.

“Who says I haven’t been skipping all year?”

That gave you pause. “Fine. But if you get thrown out, I get to say I told you so.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And if I don’t get thrown out?”

You pursed your lips as you thought. “I’ll give you five bucks.”

Billy snorted. “If I’m going to walk you to class and prove you wrong, you need to make it worth my while.”

“Oh? Who says you’re walking me?”

“Our feet.” 

You silently cursed as you realized he was right. You were both walking in the direction of Mrs. Schafer’s classroom. And you realized that you were actually enjoying the conversation. “Fine. What do you want?”

He stopped and stepped in front of you, invading your personal space. His eyes scanned your face as a wolfish grin took over his features. “Come with me to a party Saturday.”

You groaned. “Really?”

Billy shrugged. “It’s a fair trade.”

“You know what, sure. Whatever.”

He grinned and continued walking, shoving his hands into his pockets. You carried the conversation as the two of you walked, and you were surprised to find both of you laughing as you headed for the room. What surprised you even more was the fact that Billy stepped in front of you and opened the door, allowing you to walk through first. You muttered a quiet thank you as you stepped inside with him close behind. As soon as the two of you walked in, the entire room went quiet. Billy’s mouth twisted into a smirk as everyone looked at you. But what really threw you for a loop was when Mrs. Schafer spoke up.

“Mister Hargrove. Nice of you to finally join us. Please, take a seat.” 

He threw you a triumphant grin and you glared right back, electing to ignore him and walk towards your seat. He chuckled and followed you, sitting right behind your desk. 

What had you just walked into? Apparently, a world where Billy has the same class as you every Monday morning. And out of spite, you tried to prove him wrong and ended up conned into going to a party with him that weekend. Could your day get any worse?

The answer to that question, as it would appear, was yes.

Turns out there were a lot of classes that Billy shared with you that he had been skipping since the beginning of the year. It’s a wonder they haven’t thrown him out yet.

He made it a point to sit behind you at every available opportunity, even glaring and charming his way into the seats he wanted. You rolled your eyes at his antics, not impressed in the least. But you had to give it to him, the boy was persistent. He would poke your shoulder with a pencil, nudge the leg of your chair with his boot, or even lean forwards and flick your H/C locks away from your neck.

It was annoying at first, but by lunch, you had finally figured out how to block him out of your mind. You had better things to focus on, and Billy Hargrove wasn’t going to get in the way of that.

“Hey, Cindy, do you mind coming over later and helping me with the History assignment?” you asked, looking down at the paper as you walked. You felt rather than heard someone walk right next to you and naturally, you assumed it was your best friend. 

“Sure babe. But I don’t know how much studying we’ll be doing.”

You about jumped out of your skin when you realized who it was that appeared beside you. You jerked around, smacking him in the chest while glaring something fierce. “Hargrove!” you snapped. 

He grinned at you. “Yeah?”

You grumbled something under your breath and shook your head before running a hand through your hair.

“Uh, Y/N? I’m back here…”

 You turned with another glare to Cindy, who grinned back at you from behind. “Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.” 

She sent you a mock salute and walked up to you, practically yanking the paper out of your hands. Billy still stood beside you, his arms crossed and a triumphant smile across his face. His blond curls framed his face as he watched you. You had to admit that having his eyes on you was something of a compliment, but you didn’t dare say that out loud. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, babe.” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets again. Behind you, Cindy didn’t say anything, but you could practically feel her tense. And you noticed her hands grip the paper a little tighter, and it was a wonder she didn’t rip it in two. Billy, on the other hand, leaned towards you with a wolfish grin. “Wear something nice, yeah?”

You bit back a cocky response, instead biting your tongue before you watched him walk away. As soon as he was out of earshot, Cindy grabbed your arm and began hauling you outside. “Spill. Everything.” she hissed.

You rolled your eyes and let out an annoyed huff. “What is it with him all of a sudden?” you mused.

“What?” she responded.

A shrug lifted your shoulders. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s somehow managed to be everywhere I am. And he won’t leave me alone.”

Cindy rolled her blue eyes. “Someone likes you, Spike, hard as it is to fathom.”

You let out a snort at the sound of the nickname she had given you. Cindy had found the bat in your trunk several months ago and had teased you about it relentlessly. And in honor of the spiked weapon, the nickname was born.

“I doubt it, C. He probably just wants to get laid.”

She gave you a pointed look. “Okay, maybe you’re right. But what’s this about you wearing something nice?”

A groan escaped your lips. “I may have somehow managed to find myself going to a party with him on Saturday.” 

Her mouth fell open and she almost dropped the stack of books she was carrying. “You what?!” she demanded.

“Keep your voice down!” you hissed, noticing the amount of people staring. “Yes, I’m going to a party with him.”

“When did this happen?! You’re gonna go on a date with Ha-” 

You slapped a hand over her mouth before she could finish the sentence. “Cindy, I swear to God, I’ll let Dustin practice his science fair project on you if you don’t shut the he** up!”

With wide eyes she nodded, and you slowly released your hand. “Explain.”

“It was a bet. He found me at my locker this morning and asked what class I had first. I told him and then he said he had the same one. I didn’t believe him, so we made a bet.”

It took a moment, but she quietly shook her head. “Man, you must’ve been confident to bet something like that.”

You shrugged. “It’ll be interesting to say the least.”                                                 ________________

The rest of the week passed by in a drag. You were bored to tears with all your classes. And if anyone were paying attention, they would find you sitting at your desk, cheek propped up on your fist while you doodled in your notebook, while your head was in the clouds.

But there were things that had been catching your attention.

A ghost of a touch here, an echo of a whisper there. Billy hadn’t stepped foot near you since Monday afternoon. So you thought, at least. But you knew he was watching you. You could constantly feel his eyes on you, no matter where you were. Maybe you were just paranoid, maybe your mind was conjuring things to give you a boost of self-esteem. Whatever the case, you were tired of it. 

As you were walking towards the parking lot Friday afternoon, an arm found its way across your shoulders. You weren’t surprised when you saw Billy out of your peripheral.

“I’ll pick you up at eight.” he said, leaning close. You suppressed a shiver that wanted to snake down your spine at his husky tone. You felt his lips press into your neck lightly, right below your ear.

And then he was gone.

You shook your head and muttered to yourself, trying to snap out of the trance he had you in.

When you first started noticing that he was paying attention to you, you had made a promise to yourself not to let his mind games play with your head. You were going to be logical about the entire situation. But that was slowly going out the window. You were rapidly understanding the spell that he had everyone under.

To say that you weren’t the least bit curious about Saturday night would be a lie. You most definitely were interested to see where it would go. Was he going to pick you up, walk into the party with you on his arm, and then ditch you for someone better? Or was he just going to parade you around like a prize? Maybe he was going to try to charm your pants off to get a nice lay out of it.

Whatever the case, you were morbidly curious as to where the night would go.

You were frantically searching through your closet, trying to find something suitable. You paused, crossing your arms over the towel that you had wrapped around your body. It was almost seven and you were determined to make an impression. Since this was likely the one and only party you were ever going to, you wanted to make sure people knew who you were.                                                 ________________

 Your mother, on the other hand, was ecstatic that you were finally branching out in your group of friends. She couldn’t be happier that you were going to a party, much less with a boy.

Grumbling under your breath, you decided to dig int the back of the closet, where you knew you had hidden away a few…interesting…clothing choices. Somehow, Cindy had managed to convince you to buy them. She was trying to get you to embrace your ‘dark’ side. And you silently thanked her for all those times she dragged you along when she went shopping.

You grinned to yourself as you found the neatly folded clothes. Once you were dressed, you focused on your hair and make-up. Smokey shadow highlighted your e/c eyes, accentuated by the thick and sharp angle of your eyeliner. You swept your hair to one side of your head, pinning and spraying like your life depended on it. By the time you were done, you were rather impressed with the way you looked.

And you finished just in time, because as you were walking down the stairs, the doorbell rang.

“I got it!” you shouted, getting to the door before either of your parents.

“Have fun, Y/N!”

 “Thanks, mom!” you replied, shrugging the leather jacket on.

You took a deep breath to compose yourself and opened the door, putting on your best smile.

Billy’s hands were in the pockets of his denim jacket and he chewed on the inside of his cheek while examining his surroundings. When he looked back at you, his smile faltered slightly as his eyes raked over your body. 

“Da**, Y/N.” he said, his eyes widened slightly. “You look hot.”

The corner of your mouth turned up in a half smile as you stepped outside, making him take a step backwards out of your way.

“What’s the matter, Hargrove? Afraid you won’t be able to handle me?” you teased, closing the door and walking to his car. He stayed behind a moment, mesmerized by the sway of your hips as you walked.

“Those pants really hug you’re a**, Y/N. I don’t know if I want you wearing them…” 

You rolled your eyes. “Of course you don’t. You want them on your bedroom floor.” You weren’t dumb. You knew what he wanted out of this little excursion. And you were going to call him out on it every single chance you got.

His jaw clenched as he appeared beside you, opening the passenger door. His knuckles were white as he gripped the top of the door, making you arch an eyebrow. “Every guy in there is going to be staring at you.”

“So?” you quipped. “It’s not like you won’t be checking out all the other girls there.”

He let out a bark of laughter. “Babe, you’re the only one that’s going to have my attention tonight.”

A slight blush tinged your cheeks as he closed the door, making his way over to his side of the car. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as you thought. 

The ride was mostly spent in silence, the roar of the engine like music to your ears. The quiet was occasionally broken by you trying to make small talk, but Billy didn’t appear to be having any of it. You frowned slightly, noticing the way his jaw clenched and how tight he gripped the wheel. But you shook it off, deciding to try and have fun.

When you got to the party, you were surprised to find that it was at Steve’s house. “Harrington’s?” you asked, looking at Billy in confusion. “I thought you two didn’t get along?”

He shrugged. “He takes care of Max.”

So that was it. Billy was gaining a little bit of respect for Steve, who had shown he was capable of protecting something other than himself. He was willing to lay his life down for the kids, and you had almost witnessed him doing just that.

“Fair enough.” you conceded.

He surprised you once again by opening your door and holding out his hand. You glanced up at him before taking it in your own, allowing him to pull you out of the car. Immediately, his arm snaked around your waist and he pulled you against his side.

You had to admit that the feel of his strong arm draped around your body was something that you could get used to, something you rather enjoyed.

Everyone stopped to stare at the pair of you as you walked into the party. Whispers started and you knew exactly what they were saying. But you took a deep breath and put on a brave face, your painted lips curving up into a smile.

You could feel all eyes on you, taking in your appearance. Your black and torn jeans hugged your legs, sticking to them almost like a second skin. Your red shirt stretched across your breasts and dipped teasingly low. And the icing on the cake was the studded leather jacket that fell over your shoulders. Everyone looked to the man you were attached to, raising their eyebrows and talking amongst themselves. And you were surprised to find that your arm had somehow found its way around Billy, your fingers toying with the pocket of his jacket. 

He grinned down at you. “Come on, babe. Enjoy the party.”

And to your surprise, you did just that. For the most part, at least. You found yourself thrown into a group of girls with a drink in your hand to calm your nerves. They were taking a very sudden interest in you and you had to hold back several eye rolls.

They were so shallow. None of them had even set eyes on you before. Yet here they were, acting like they were your best friends because of who you were there with. 

When you managed to pull away from them, you were surrounded by offers to dance, until you eventually found Steve. He was in the kitchen, mixing a few drinks. Presumably for him and his friends. But when he looked up and saw the pleading expression on your face, he chuckled and hugged you.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, Y/N.” 

“I didn’t expect to be here,” you admitted, refraining from hugging your waist. It was obvious that you were uncomfortable, and you had no idea where Billy had disappeared to. The keg, probably. After all, he had to keep his title as Keg King. And you weren’t going to stand in the way of that. Stand in the way of him driving, maybe.

Steve chuckled. “I saw you come in with Billy. You two a thing now?”

You adamantly shook your head. “No, this was just a stupid bet.”

He grinned. “Let me guess…you lost?”

“Not one of my finer moments.” you admitted.

“Come on.” he said, handing you another drink and leading you back out among the throng of teenagers. You agreed and followed him, trusting that he wouldn’t throw you to the wolves. And he didn’t. He led you to a small group of his friends, a mix of both girls and boys. You knew the majority of them and smiled politely as Steve began a conversation with Jack.

“You’re Y/N, right?” one of the girls asked. 

You smiled and nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.”

She grinned. “I’m Sandy. Steve talks about you a lot.”

Another blush began to spread across your cheeks as you chugged the rest of your drink. “He’s not too bad himself.”

She laughed. “You’ve got a point. You here by yourself?”

“No,” you said, glancing around and trying to find Billy. He was helping himself to the dance floor with Tommy and you rolled your eyes. “I’m with him.” You jerked a thumb in his direction. 

Sandy looked over your shoulder. “Tommy?”

“God no,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m with Billy.”

Her eyebrows rose in slight surprise. “Nice land, girl. But you’ve got a point, I don’t see what anyone sees in Tommy.”

You let out a laugh. You liked her.

“Hey, sweetheart. What’re you doing here all alone?”

You groaned. Great. Something you were trying to avoid. You turned on your heel, looking the guy up and down. Steve was deep in conversation, so there wasn’t going to be any help from him. “I’m not alone, if you hadn’t noticed,” you quipped. “I’m enjoying a conversation with my friend.”

Sandy crossed her arms behind you, silently letting you know that she had your back.

He rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you come have some fun with me? It’ll be more entertaining than her,”

You glared. “I’m having all the fun I need, thank you.”

“Come on, babe, don’t be like that.” he said, reaching for you. His clammy hand wrapped around your arm and he tried to drag you forwards. 

“Let me go!” you hissed, trying to jerk out of his grasp.

“She told you no, man! Back off!” Sandy agreed, stepping to your defense.

“You women are all the same. When a real man comes along, you want to go back to whatever trash you’re banging and call it good.”

When he still hadn’t released you after that, you sent your hand flying towards his face. He grunted when you made contact, his grip on you slackening.

“You little-”

He lunged forward and grabbed you, shoving you backwards and making you hit the wall. You yelped in surprise and pain, your head spinning from the hard hit. His lips attached themselves to your neck and you tried to wriggle free, letting out a grunt and lifting your knee to his groin. 

“Get off her!” 

You heard Steve yell and suddenly the boy was jerked away from you. Another voice joined Steve’s and you were still trying to clear your vision. Steve held the guy away from you while Billy stormed up, sending his fist flying into the other boy’s face, knocking him clean out. His rage satiated for the moment, he turned to you, eyes softening.

“You alright, doll?” he asked, stepping towards you. You nodded wordlessly and he grabbed your hand. “Let’s go.” he said quietly. You followed him, sending an apologetic glance to Steve as Billy led you out of the house and to his car.

When you were away from prying eyes, he put his hand on your cheek, examining you for any damage. “Did he hurt you?”

You let out a quiet groan, lifting your hand to feel the back of your head. Thankfully there wasn’t any blood, but it sure hurt like he**. “Knocked my head around pretty good,” you muttered.

His jaw set and his mouth fell into a thin line. “Did he touch you?”

You closed your eyes and took a breath of the cool air, letting it flood your senses. “He tried.” you admitted. 

There were a lot of things you didn’t know about Billy, and one of those things was that he despised men like that. He loved sex, there was no doubt about it. But he would never lay a hand on a woman without her permission. He would never force her into anything she didn’t want. And if he ever saw it happening, he would beat the man to a bloody pulp himself.

“I’ll take you home, Y/N.” he said, running a hand through his hair.

Before you could respond, you leaned over and emptied the contents of your stomach on the ground, the results of the tequila and vodka making your head spin. You had lost count of how many shots you took, and when the guy had approached you, you were nursing a rum and coke. You weren’t usually one for drinking, and Billy could obviously tell that.

He sighed and rubbed your back as you leaned over again. He glanced back at the house, still considering going back in to finish the guy off.

“Leave him, Billy.” you managed to choke out.

His attention was immediately drawn back to you. “What?”

“He’s not worth it…”

He raised an eyebrow before tucking his bottom lip between his teeth. It amazed him, really. Even in a drunken stupor, you were still thinking about other people. That was originally what had drawn his attention to you in the first place. You never put yourself first, and he noticed.

You weren’t as shallow as all the other girls in Hawkins, and that made him curious. He wanted to get to know you, but he knew that you didn’t want anything to do with him. But that just made him want you all the more. 

“He tried to hurt you, Y/N. You can’t tell me that doesn’t matter.”

You shrugged. “Everyone, including me, is drunk, Billy.” you said. “It’s not worth you getting in trouble over. If I know Steve’s parties, the cops are going to show up any minute. And you don’t need to be in the middle of that.”

“Wow, doll. I didn’t know you cared.”

You shrugged, standing up straight and wiping your mouth on the sleeve of your jacket. You knew you were going to have to clean that later, but at this point, you didn’t care. You just wanted to get out of there.

He chuckled. “All you had to do was say so, babe.”

You groaned and scrubbed a hand down your face. “Did I say that out loud?”

He laughed. “Yeah. You did.”                                                  ________________

The next morning you woke with a groan, your head trying to kill you. It felt like it was going to explode. You tried to bury your face in your pillow, but all you succeeded in doing was making it harder to breathe. You huffed and rolled over, smacking into something.

You groaned again, not in the mood for whatever games Cindy was trying to play.

Then your eyes fully opened, and you came face to face with a chest. Your eyes trailed up the length of a chiseled chest and a thick neck, scanning over the scruff that was accumulating on his jaw, to the peaceful look on his face, to his closed eyes.

A sense of calm flooded your senses for a moment, and you almost drifted back to sleep. Then panic took over. Where were you? And why were you in bed with Billy Hargrove?

You took a deep breath, not wanting to wake him up. You knew he drank way more than you did last night, and if your hangover was anything compared to his, he was going to need all the sleep he could get.

Logic began to seep in, and you quickly took stock of the situation. You were happy to find that you were still dressed. Mostly, at least. You were wearing a shirt that wasn’t yours and your boy shorts. Your eyes wandered over to Billy, who stirred quietly before settling in beside you again. His arm draped across your stomach after a moment and he tried to pull you closer.

It looked like he still at least had boxers on, to which you were eternally grateful for. You knew you were drunk, but you didn’t think you were that drunk. You didn’t know if you were ever going to be that drunk.

You let out a quiet sigh and allowed him to scoot you closer. Your e/c eyes roamed his face, noticing how peaceful he looked. You never realized before how much rage filled this man. He was constantly at war, whether it be with others around him or himself. He was never relaxed, even when he was with those he called his friends. Something stirred inside you as you watched him, wondering how often people got to see him like this; relaxed, peaceful, and almost happy. 

You gingerly raised your hand and traced his jawline with a featherlight touch.

 Maybe there’s more to him than I thought…

His eyelids fluttered under your touch and he let out a contented and muffled sigh, nuzzling his face closer to your neck.

“Morning, doll.”

You felt a rush of embarrassment and withdrew your hand, red lighting up your face. Knowing you needed to say something, you blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m sorry…were you sleeping?”

He snorted out a laugh, the sound coming from deep in his chest. “To be honest? No.”

You rolled your eyes. “Way to ruin the moment, Billy.” you teased.

He pressed his lips to your neck and sighed. “We were having a moment, were we?”

“Maybe.”

His voice was low and husky, still dripping the grogginess of sleep. And it sent your heart into your throat. “Billy?”

“Hmm?” He hummed against your skin, continuing to pepper gentle kisses across your neck.

“Why did you stand up for me last night? Aren’t I just like any of the other girls you hang around with?”

After a split second, he drew away from you and you missed his presence. Instead, he hovered over you, bracing his weight on his right arm, which rested beside your head. His fingers threaded into your h/c locks and his thumb stroked your cheek gently.

“Y/N, you are nothing like other girls.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yet here I am, in your bed.”

He let a frown flicker across his features before they softened once again. “You know we didn’t do anything, right? You didn’t want to go home last night. So we went to the park. And I brought you back here because you didn’t think you could face your parents.” 

Your eyes flicked down to his chest, not wanting to look him straight in the eyes anymore. You didn’t remember that. 

“I would never take advantage of anyone like that, Y/N. You didn’t want to be alone. I was going to sleep on the couch, but you asked me to stay.”

The honesty in his tone was evident, which was what made you look back up at him. “Thank you…” you whispered softly.

He grinned at you. “You’re welcome.” 

You weren’t sure what it was that made you do it, but you leaned forwards and pressed your lips softly against his. He was surprised by the action and didn’t respond immediately, but when you tried to pull away, he wouldn’t let you. 

Your lips moved easily together, and you got lost in his touch. You knew this was wrong. You were supposed to hate him. He wasn’t a part of your plans, in any way. Yet here you were, allowing yourself to get lost in him. It was so wrong. But it felt so right. 

His tongue flicked across your bottom lip, tentatively asking permission. And with a quiet sigh, you opened your mouth for him. Your hands buried themselves in his hair, gently tugging as you arched your back. He groaned quietly and caught your bottom lip in his teeth as you pulled away. 

He began making his was down your throat, gently biting and sucking as he went. Your hands explored the skin that was exposed to you, running across his shoulders and memorizing the planes of his body. What snapped you to your senses was when his fingers toyed with the hem of the shirt you were wearing.

“Billy,” you groaned, hooking a toned leg over his hips to draw him closer.

He moved back to your lips, pressing another kiss there. “Don’t get shy on me now, baby doll.” he said.

You pulled away and looked up at him, a question in your eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be disappointed in what you see…”

He looked at you, eyes searching your face. “You’re beautiful, Y/N. What would ever give you the idea you weren’t?”

“It’s a long story…” you admitted. “For now, let’s be happy with what we have.”

He chuckled and kissed you again. It was slow, sweet, and full of passion. You had expected him to be rough and demanding, but he knew what he was doing. He was taking his time with you, not willing to waste a moment. But he settled back down beside you, gathering you in his arms. “Always.”

taglist: @jasonscotttrash @mystrangerfics @hargrovesprincess @ssstutteringbbbill @fortheloveofjbbarnes

[fucking-hell-hargrove]

Should I Stay Or Should I Go - 1

WARNINGS - Swearing. 

Hawkins, Indiana - January 3rd, 1985

Song = AC/DC - Back In Black

Rosalind ‘Roz’ Harris

~~~~~~~~~~

Starting a new school after the halfway through the year is never a good move. But alas I had no choice. Here I was in the middle of fucking nowhere with no friends at all. I leant my head against the steering wheel. I chose my clothes to give me that extra boost of confidence, the whole town was full of preppy girls in pastel sweaters, that were destined to become housewives and boys that would go to college with big dreams but would settle of a preppy girl in an unhappy marriage, popping out kids because that's what people do.

I chose black skinny jeans with rips at the knees, a plain black t-shirt with a red and black plaid shirt over the top. I completed my look with my Dr Martens, leather jacket and satchel. All dressed up I had managed the courage to leave the house but stopped on some street on the way to school. I was such a fucking wimp.

A knock on the window frightened me. I looked up to see the uniform of some cop. It wasn’t  wound down the window I realised it was Hopper, he was the first adult I met in Hawkins. I had arrived on a cold winter's day two days after the schools let out. I turned up in his office escorted by CPS officers, with only three bags, a couple of boxes, a guitar and my grandpa's sleek black 1967 Mustang convertible to my name. Between the four of us with lots of coffee and cigarettes, my problems were half sorted. The big one was behind on schedule, I had nowhere to stay. Hopper kindly let me crash at his place with Jane for a week over Christmas.

Jane was enthralled with my small book collection. We spent most of the time on the sofa with Jane beside me as I taught her letters and words. That’s how was passed the week when Hopper was at work, I’d look after Jane and we’d work on catching up her education. Hopper let the both of us go shopping for food. Jane had just found out about what Christmas was and wanted to get hopper a present. We settled on socks, a knitted jumper and a mug with a rabbit on it. I hope he didn’t kill me for that one. I got him a bottle of semi-expensive whiskey, a thermos for when he was on the road and a pack of camels. Unknowingly had gotten a gift for me, several books and a new record to replace the one that got broke on my journey here. He had loved his presents and found the rabbit mug funny. Between Christmas and new year, I had moved into my tiny log cabin on the outskirts of town, not far from Hopper's place. He didn’t want me too far away but didn't want me in the middle of anywhere either. My house was set back from the road a little if you weren’t looking you’d miss the drive.

“Morning Officer.” I smiled up at him.

“You okay kid?” he had a gruff voice.

“Yeah. I’m still alive I guess. It sounds so stupid but It's my first day of school and I’m freaking out.”

His mouth twitched into an almost smile. “Yeah I know how you feel, I got to run Jane to school, she has some catch-up sessions.”

He pointed to his truck where the small framed girl with short curly hair sat. She saw it was me and waved.

He leant down on the door frame, “Look it will be fine. You know your way around, you know the teachers.”

I smiled remembering when Hopper showed my a makeshift file of all the teachers. They all had photos attached so I knew what they looked like. Hopper assured me that they had all been checked and all had come back cleared.

“Thanks. I had a thought yesterday, to pay you back I could tutor Jane? Or even look after Jane on your late shifts.”

He gave me a real smile this time, “You don’t have to repay me for anything. But thanks, she’d like that Oh! Here I got you something.”

He opened his top pocket and gave me a packet of cigarettes and an old Zippo. I looked down at the small gift and willed myself not to cry.

“Thanks, Hopper.”

“I remember you telling me that you had to left yours behind. It’s one I had laying around.”

I opened the car door and threw my arms around his waist. At 6 foot 3 hopper towered over my tiny 5 foot 6 frame. His radio crackled into life and I heard something about a disturbance downtown.

“Shit.”

I stepped backwards. “I don’t mind taking Jane, school doesn’t start till 8:15.”

He nodded then strode back to his truck. I saw him talk to Jane for a while and she nodded. He helped her climb out of the truck holding onto her backpack. I climbed back into the car and opened the passenger door. Jane happily climbed in and smiled at me.

Hopper leaned through the window. “Okay, I should be done before school starts. Stick together.”

We both promised and he jogged back to his truck, we both watched as the truck swung round and disappeared from view.

I looked at Jane, “You ready?”

She buckled herself in and stared out the front window, she had a determined look her face. Jane nodded. I light up one of the cigarettes from the pack. Shifting the car into gear.

“That makes one of us kid.”

When we got to school there were only a few cars in the large carpark. I led Jane into the library that connected the middle and high school. The kind librarian, Mrs Mallory was at her desk, she smiled at the two of us.

“Morning girls. How can I help?”

I put my hand on Jane’s shoulder. “Jane needs her catch up work and I need to kill some time.”

She laughed. “I have Jane’s work in the office, bear with me.”

We stood at the desk while she disappeared into the back office. Jane was fascinated with the Rubik's Cube on the desk, while I fiddled with my car keys. The only family member I had trusted was my grandpa. For safety reasons he couldn’t know where I was heading, so he gave me the greatest gift he could. The Mustang. It was a classic that I tried my hardest to keep in pristine condition. Of course, the plates had been changed on them but I kept the originals. Everything from my old life was currently hiding behind a flash panel in my closet.

Mrs Mallory came back from her office with a paper folder that she handed to Jane.

“You teacher will help you with your work. There should be enough their to last you a week or two. I made you a library card as well.”

I saw Jane frown at the card bit. I bent down to her ear level.

“The card means you can take different books home.”

She perked up at that. “I take books home?”

Mrs Mallory handed her the card. “Yes, but you can only take 5 home at once. And they must be back before two weeks.”

I smiled, “Trust me, she’ll go through them pretty quick.”

I turned to Jane, “Shall we pick some?”

She nodded eagerly stuffing her work folder into her backpack. Jane had no idea where to start so I picked a few easy ones, to begin with; a child's encyclopedia, a large book with a few Dr Seuss stories, fantastic Mr Fox by Roald Dahl and The Secret Seven. That was a funny poke to the stories told be about the six kids that are friends with Jane. But I hoped that Hopper would be okay with the rest of my choices. As we walked around I pointed out the signs to Jane so she wouldn’t get lost in the future.

Jane watched with fascination as Mrs Mallory signed her card and stamped the ticket in the books. Mrs Mallory let us sit in her office/break room while we waited for Hopper. She made me a coffee and let Jane pick a box of juice. Jane picked apple before settling down and began to flick through the encyclopedia. I sat on the tiny kitchen workbench away from Jane with an ashtray Mrs Mallory gave me with a wink.

It was nearly 8 when Hopper appeared in the doorway. Jane was excited to show him her books and her library card.

“Everything went okay?” he asked.

I nodded crushing the butt in the ashtray. “Yeah, I showed her around, picked a few easy books for her.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m going to mentally prep myself for a bit.”

He nodded. “You'll be okay kid.”

I hugged them both goodbye and waved at Mrs Mallory on the way out. I would need some time before school started at 8:15. The carpark was much fuller this time, it seemed like hundreds of kids my age were milling around grounds. There was a cluster of boys standing around transfixed on my car. I stood behind the group and placed another cigarette between my teeth.

“I hope no one drooled on her.” flicking my lighter shut.

All the boys turned in surprised then unashamedly perved at me. The one who must be their leader stepped forward. He was tall, very well built beneath his nearly unbuttoned shirt and leather jacket. If I was any other girl his piercing blue eyes would have made me go weak at the knees. He was hot but the god-awful mullet that let him down. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and smirked at me.

“You’re telling me that a pretty little thing like you drives a beast like that.”

Great another meathead. “For one it’s a she, not a beast. Two women can drive cars other than standard ‘mom’ cars.”

I stepped closer to him, there was a significant height difference between us. I leaned into his ear and whispered, “Three, I’m guessing a pretty little thing like you would drive a Camaro.”

I stepped back and watched as something flashed across his eyes, I wasn’t sure what it was. I guess he was used to girls falling at his feet.

“Now if you boys don’t mind moving. And don’t touch the paintwork.”

The boys wandered off and leaving meathead behind. I threw my bag onto the passenger's seat but before I could get in a hand covered mine holding the door.

I looked up to see meathead smirking at me. “You know, girls don’t normally talk to me like that.”

I pulled my hand from beneath his, pushing his off the door.

“I know.”

I climbed into the car and shut the door. He wandered off meeting back up with the group of boys. I tried to relax while I smoked in the car. I really didn't want this much attention on my first day. I was like a frozen river, cool and calm on the surface but underneath I was full of nerves, my mind never stops swirling at 100 miles a minute.

A car parked beside me and I recognised the driver. Hopper had introduced me to Steve when my house was finally ready. Steve and Hopper helped move the few pieces of furniture that were too heavy for me. We met again at the new year party a few days later. We got a proper chance to hang out and talk. We got on straight away bonding over a love of music. A few days ago Steve kindly accompanied me to school so I could fill in paperwork in the office. He showed my where all the classrooms were for each of my lessons and where my locker was.

We stopped for lunch at the diner. Steve gave me tips about the teachers, as well as writing an S on the classes we had together. When dropping Steve home I realised he only lived two streets over from me. It was comforting to know he was close.

I know that Hopper had told Steve the very basic of information; I was on my own, it was a bad home growing up and that I was hiding from someone. If Hopper had told him that I knew he must have trusted Steve, so I could too. On the downside, he always told Steve to keep an eye on me and make sure I was safe at school. I managed to get Steve to spill after I kept staring at him. I agreed that I would be on best behaviour.

I waved at Steve through our car windows. He waited for me to gather my things before opening my door for me.

I tried to smile. “Thanks.”

“Nervous?” he asked with a kind smile.

I snorted. “How did you guess.”

He threw his arm over my shoulders and pulled me close for a hug. I rested my head on his chest and tried my best to calm my nerves. He let me go but still kept his arm on my shoulders, I wrapped my arm around his slim waist.

“Let's go. If you're a good girl I'll let you sit next to me.”

I poked him in the ribs as he laughed. We walked towards the school, Steve’s presence soothed me a bit, it was good having someone watching your back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw meathead’s gaze following the two of us as we walked side by side. Steve even held the door open for me as we stepped into Hell.

Luckily Steve and I and lockers right next to each other. Everything was going smoothly until the door was almost forced shut on my hand. I looked to see meathead and some blonde sucking face by his locker. I made a loud gagging noise before swinging the door back open hitting them both. The blonde pulled back from meathead her lipstick was smudged slightly.

“Hey, freak! Watch it.”

I smiled sweetly at them. “Oops silly me. I don't know my own strength sometimes. Do you realise you have lipstick on your moustache.”

The girl turned to meathead but his face was clear of any trace of bubblegum pink lipstick.

I smirked at her, “I didn't mean him.”

She looked furious and meathead tried not to laugh. Steve pulled me away before anything else could happen. We made our way to our first period.

He turned to me. “You like playing with fire, don't you? Billy Hargrove isn't a guy to be messed with.”

So that's what meatheads name was. I laughed. “I'm just getting started.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day was uneventful I had two classes with Steve, a one on my own and one with meathead. It just happened to be maths that I shared with meathead, one of my favourite subjects. But it was just my luck that before I could escape at the end of class the teacher caught me. I leant on the table in front of her desk.

“Now I've seen your math scores and you're amazing. I was wondering if you could do me a favour and tutor a student?”

I nodded it wouldn't be that bad. She motioned to for someone to join us. It wasn't till a warm mass smelling of cheap cologne appeared next to me that I found out it was meathead aka Billy.

The teacher gave me a large folder before shooing us out of her classroom. I stomped to my locker trying to ignore the fucker behind me.

He leant against his locker with a shit-eating grin. “Well hello, again princess.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don't call me that.”

“Well, how can I call you by your name when I don't know it?”

I sighed. “It's Roz. Let's just cut the crap are you going to come to any study sessions or just not bother?”

He smirked. “I’ll come.”

“Okay. Buddy's diner at 4. And don't be late.”

He winked before walking off. I groaned into my locker, I hated my life.

“What's your locker done now?”

I jumped and turned round to see Steve stood behind me.

“I have to tutor Hargrove.”

Steve winced, “Yeah that's pretty rough. Want me to join?”

I nodded, “Please. Just to stop me killing him. The diner at 4.”

We walked to our cars and went our separate ways. Steve promised he'd be there on time. I managed to get a few jobs around the house done before I had to leave for the diner. I was the first one there and Steve joined me soon after. As the dinner was close to his place he decided to walk. We stood next to my car passing my cigarette between us. According to my watch, Billy had 3 minutes left and if by magic he pulled into the parking lot. We watched as he climbed out of the car his face dropping when he saw Steve.

“What are you doing here Harrington?”

“He's here for me. It's part of the deal, if you don't want to fail high school then you'll have to suck it up.”

“You need him to protect your virtue?” Billy laughed.

I dropped my cigarette and crushed it under my boot. I looked up at Bill with a blank expression.

“No. Here's here to protect you.”

With that, I walked into the diner. I slipped into a booth saw them talking outside before Steve entered first followed by Billy. Steve slid in next to me and Billy across from us. Steve pulled out his own homework and got started leaving Billy and me to look through his folder our maths teacher had given me.

I opened the folder, the first piece of paper contained all of Billy's current grades. The only lessons he wasn't failing was gym and English. The rest of the paper was full of all the math tests he needed to resist.

“Okay here's the deal. I will help you with all your classes on three conditions.”

We were interrupted by the waitress who flirted with Billy. I ordered coffee while Steve and Billy had cokes.

He paused playing with his straw. “What are the conditions?”

“One, You work hard, don't blow of study sessions for you to fuck a bimbo. You miss a session, or start slacking I'm out”

He nodded. “Okay deal. What about the rest?”

“Two, No flirting. I'm not interested and you're not my type. None of your cheap chat up lines or bad boy vibes do it for me. And Three, you stay away from my friends.”

He smirked at me. “You’re here to spoil all my fun… but deal.”

“Okay well maths needs to be our focus, you need to make up for the tests. Let me go through the homework with you so I know what I'm dealing with.”

That afternoon I found out that Billy did actually have a brain but couldn't be bothered to do the work, he'd rather spend his time sucking face. He did struggle with maths but I took my time and explained things as much as I could. It was about 5:30 when we stopped. We all packed our work away. I pulled out a 10 and left it on the table. Both boys were shocked.

“Don't get used to it.” I snorted.

Before Billy could leave I caught his sleeve.

“Same time and place tomorrow.”

He smiled. “Sure thing princess.”

He left Steve and me by my car. We both watched him go as I finished my cigarette.

“Come on Steve I'll drop you home.”

We climbed into the car, I turned the key and the engine roared to life.

“Jesus it's louder than Billy's.” He chuckled.

“That's cause this is a real car.”

I flicked ash out of the window. I pulled out of the lot and headed to Steve’s place.

“Oh my mum found out you're on your own, she wants you to come to dinner.”

I smiled. “Thanks. It's been awhile since I had a mom-cooked meal.”

[hulahoopingholt]

a promise lives within you now

ANYWAY I told myself I’d start writing some happy B99 fic post-finale and then the finale happened so this happened instead. Title taken from Enya's May It Be because of course we need some Enya and this one has always been one of my faves. Also on AO3.

Everything is happening so fast.

There’s the guilty verdict, and then Jake knows he’s speaking, saying something, although he can’t be sure what it is, if the words are even English (well, they probably are, it’s the only language he knows; Amy has pretty much failed teaching him any useful Spanish whatsoever), or if they’re even words at all. But he knows his lips are moving, and sounds are coming out of them, and as rapidly as it’s all happening, they can’t possibly be spilling forth as quickly as all the thoughts are dashing about in his brain because there’s no way, there’s just no way…

He keeps talking, doesn’t even pause for a breath, because if he does, it’ll mean it’s stopped. If he does, it means this is the end. If it does, it means they’ll snap the cuffs around his wrists with a soft clink and he’ll be lead out of the courtroom and then stuffed into the back of a squad car and then to jail to jail to…

Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool --

The sound of the cuffs closing around his wrists echoes like a gunshot in his mind.

And if things had been moving in hyperspeed before, now it was hyperspeed on speed and cocaine and whatever other drugs Hawkins was hawking, all strapped into a rogue car on a sky high roller coaster, hurdling through twists and turns before crashing into a runaway train.

He feels like he’s about to throw up.

It’s loud, so loud, deafening, even. He knows there are people talking to him, shouting his name, some voices he recognizes, others that are probably reporters or Hawkins’ cronies. But his skin is burning so hot, and everything’s jumbling together in a crazy rush, and it’s like being trapped in a madhouse, or a fun house, or --

He blinks, and for a split second he’s back at the Fun Zone, gun drawn, waiting, ready, prepared. The operation is dangerous, and could go wrong at any second, but Jake’s got this, he knows his game, and he has the Nine-Nine at his back. No matter what.

The vision, along with its accompanying sense of complete confidence even in the face of death and disaster, vanishes before his eyelids can manage their second descent.

There’s pressure at his back, and somehow he’s moving forward. He catches a brief glimpse of Rosa’s face, her expression even more closed off than he’s ever seen, before a guard turns her around and marches her away from him. If he could stretch out his arm, she’d be close enough to touch (not that he would, of course, no touchy), but at the moment she might as well be on another planet.

And there’s nothing he can do. Nothing. He’ll be behind bars for fifteen years, fifteen years, powerless, helpless, forced to wait as time ticks on by, leaving him behind and ripping him away from everything and everyone he loves. Fifteen years sitting in a six by eight foot cell while his friends go on without him. Amy becoming captain, Gina having her baby, Terry marketing his own brand of yogurt… the world may jolt to a stop for him, but it wouldn’t stop for any of them. And who even knows what would happen to Rosa? She’ll probably take the farthest flight out of New York she can find the second she gets out, start a new identity where she lets even fewer people into her life. Probably nobody at all.

No. This is it. This is the end. It’s fine. He’ll pick up a hobby. Maybe running. Running could be good. It would also come in handy when he inevitably runs into one of the murderers he put away for life. Cool. Cool cool cool cool coolcoolcoolcool...

He doesn’t know how, but somehow, even though he was just at the front of the courtroom, he’s now standing by the door.

Like Usain Bolt.

Amy.

Her name cuts through all the noise in his head, and as if right on cue (and honestly, it probably was; Amy is always right on time, even when the world is falling apart without warning), there she is, waiting for him. He can see her lips moving, and he tries so hard to make out what she’s saying, but it’s still loud, it’s so loud, there’s pandemonium all around him and it’s forcing its way back inside his head too, and --

She presses her hand on his, and then that’s all there is.

It’s cold, of course. Amy’s hands are always cold, even on sticky, sweltering days in the middle of summer. Right now, he’s never been more grateful. He focuses everything he has on that spot where their skin touches, her cool hand on his burning one, and, finally, time begins to slow down. The chaos boiling inside his head falls down to a low simmer, and as he forces himself to draw a long, controlled breath, the rest of the courtroom fades away. There’s no longer shouting all around him, but the unmistakable otherworldly harmonies of Enya and her choir of angels.

“Jake,” Amy says. “Jake.”

They’re not in the courtroom anymore. They’re sitting on the roof, looking down at the cars driving by down the street below. And even though they’re in one of the most populated cities in the world, right now, they’re the only two people on this earth. Jake nudges Amy’s shoulder with his own, drawing forth a laugh from her that makes him fall just a little bit more in love with her.

He looks down at her hand, at her bare ring finger, and then he finds himself down on one knee, holding out the ring he’s been saving up for ever since he saw Amy’s eyes linger on it just a touch too long at the jewelry store by their apartment. His hands are shaking as he slips it onto her finger, and when he looks up he realizes that she’s smiling through her tears. Amy pulls him up and he holds her hand over his heart. In that moment he knows he can stay here like this forever, kissing her, loving her, content.

When they part, there’s a loud cheer, and Jake’s smiling so hard it’s almost painful, but he doesn’t care. He holds Amy’s hand in the air in triumph, and the cheering grows even louder. She’s beaming, and in that moment Jake finally understands what it means to call someone radiant. Radiant, in her white gown and veil as she looks over at him, quite literally glowing with love. They walk down the aisle, still hand-in-hand, stopping to accept their friends’ well wishes along the way. Terry pulls them both into a hug so tight Jake’s briefly afraid he’ll lose consciousness. Charles is weeping, of course, but Jake is surprised (and delighted!) to see that even Holt has a stray tear in his eye. Gina attempts to ambush them with a handful of rose petals, but it’s hard to do when also attempting to wrangle a wriggly toddler who is determined to wrestle Amy’s veil off her head. Amy only laughs and presses a kiss to one chubby cheek.

Chubby cheeks and tiny feet and little hands that reach up to curl around his finger. Jake carefully adjusts his daughter in his arms so he can join Amy where she’s resting on the couch. She immediately curls up next to him, covering his hand with hers so they can hold their child's hand together, and he drops a kiss on the top of her head. This perfect world they’ve built together is growing, and will only grow fuller with time.

One moment cascades into another, and then another. In their home, at the precinct, on a plane to Paris. Amy in evening gowns, Amy in one of Jake’s plaid shirts, Amy in her captain’s uniform. Years upon years of memories not yet born flowing into each other, washing over him, of all those perfect days of loving Amy, basking in the pleasure that comes from knowing you have all the time in the world.

“Jake! Listen to me.”

No. Not this time. He can’t. He tries to focus on Enya, wills the steady, soothing sounds to grow louder. Because if they do, he can still live in that moment. He can still see a future for them, he can still feel Amy’s hand on his, he can --

“Jake!”

Amy shakes his hand, hard, and Jake is thrust back into reality.

Fifteen years. Fifteen years. None of this can happen. Not with fifteen years between them. Fifteen years. Fiftenyears. Fifteenyearsfifteenyearsfifteenyearsfifteenfifteenfifteen.

“Look at me.”

Nobody in their right mind would say no to that voice, so he does. He was afraid she’d look devastated, and she does. There are tears in her eyes, and her nose is red, and Jake’s aching to break out of his handcuffs so he can hold her and promise her it’ll be okay, even if he can’t believe it himself right now.

But more than that, she looks strong. And determined.

And unbelievably pissed off.

“This isn’t over. We’re going to get you out of there.”

“Amy, you saw her. We punch once, she punches back twice.”

“And we punch back again,” Amy says. “No matter what. We won’t give up on you.”

“I wish there was something I could do,” Jake mutters. “I should have dug deeper while I was still out. I could've found something.”

“We’ll figure it out."

“It’s fifteen years,” Jake says. “That’s a long time to wait if --”

“I don’t plan on just waiting,” Amy says. “I plan on fighting. Those fifteen years belong to you, and to Rosa.” She juts her chin out. “And to us. I’m not letting her just rip them away.”

Jake’s vision grows blurry. “Ames.”

“And you have to keep fighting, too.” Amy’s tears, which so far had managed to stay safely contained, were now threatening to spill forth. “Promise me. You have to keep fighting.”

“How am I supposed to --”

“Just trust me,” Amy says. “Trust me. That’s all I ask.”

Jake forces a weak smile. “Never had trouble with that before.”

Amy laughs -- it’s a weak laugh, and she sounds exhausted, but goddamnit, if there’s one thing Jake Peralta can do, it’s make Amy laugh, no matter what, and that small victory in the face of this minor apocalypse is enough to make think maybe it would be okay after all.

“Move along, Peralta. You can talk to your girlfriend during visiting hours.”

He draws a deep breath, and as he exhales, Amy is there, covering his mouth with her own. The kiss is all too brief, but it’s sweet and perfect and seals their promise to each other.

“Move, Peralta!”

“I love you,” he says. “So much.”

“I love you so much, too,” Amy whispers.

She doesn’t release his hand until the guard has pulled them far enough apart that they can no longer touch.

But Jake can still feel the lingering coolness of her hand on his skin, and Enya’s voice is once again echoing throughout his mind.

If all it takes is believing in Amy, they’ve got this covered.

This time is theirs.